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0:23

You want to start at

0:26

Bert? Yes. Okay. What? Fuck.

0:28

I just fucked it up

0:30

already. That's okay. I forget.

0:32

Well, I think I said

0:34

that your big toe got

0:37

amputated. So, is it, is it? Or

0:39

do you have it still? I

0:41

don't remember. No, I still

0:43

have it. I still have

0:45

it. That's great. No, that's

0:47

a great way to start.

0:49

Bert has his big toe

0:51

again. I still have my

0:53

big toe. And, dude, I

0:55

crushed that fucking. No, I don't

0:58

even know what you're talking

1:00

about. But my big toe, I

1:02

crushed it. Oh, I did not

1:04

know that. Oh, yeah. I was

1:06

referring to diabetes. No, no, no,

1:08

no. Oh, what happened? What happened?

1:10

I dropped a fucking whiskey bottle

1:12

on it. And it broke my

1:14

big toe and the toe next

1:16

to it. And they were black.

1:18

It's all, they're good now. It

1:21

happened a couple weeks ago. You

1:23

can find a picture online, online,

1:25

I'm sure. I

1:27

have a I had a nerve

1:29

conduction test nerve conduction.

1:32

Yeah, so like I still have

1:34

nerve issues in this room really

1:36

yeah and certain things prompt that's

1:38

why these bruises are here by

1:40

the way so certain things prompt

1:43

it so they do a nerve

1:45

conduction test to like

1:47

see what's going on and I go

1:49

in this guy's like so um why

1:51

are we doing this and I was

1:54

like to get an update on how

1:56

my arms doing? And he goes,

1:58

what happened to your arm? I broke

2:00

it and he's like, how did you

2:02

break it? So I like tell him the

2:04

whole story and then he's like,

2:06

did your arm not work or

2:08

something? And I'm like, no it works,

2:10

but like I have nerve issues. Like,

2:13

don't you do nerve tests here? Isn't

2:15

that what this is? He's like, yeah,

2:17

I just, I don't know anything about

2:19

you. I don't know what's going on.

2:21

And I go, okay. So here's what

2:24

happened and you know, I had a

2:26

nerve transfer done. Which nerve did they

2:28

transfer? And I'm like, I don't

2:30

know the fucking name of it,

2:32

man. Like, it was here, and

2:34

now it's here. And then he's

2:37

like, okay. And he goes, do

2:39

you know what kind of damage

2:41

you have? I go, yeah, I

2:43

have some like radial nerve damage,

2:45

you know, you have different nerves

2:47

that go down your arm, ulner

2:49

nerve. You sure it's radial? I

2:52

go, yeah, that's what they've

2:54

always said. He's like. And

2:57

I'm like, what are you doing? He's

2:59

like, I don't really do radial

3:01

nerve stuff usually. I'm like, cool.

3:03

So then I'm like, then he

3:05

hooks me up, is zapping my

3:07

arm. It's the worst electrical shocks

3:09

going through your arm, sticks needles

3:11

in there and like sends volts

3:13

through my arm. And I'm like,

3:15

ah. And I'm like, so, am

3:17

I learning anything from this fucking

3:20

test, man? And he's like, you said

3:22

it was your radial nerve? I got,

3:24

yeah. He goes, let me try

3:26

one more thing. And he

3:28

sticks one more in my

3:30

arm. I'm like, ah, fuck.

3:32

And he's like, okay. He's

3:34

like, all right. And then

3:36

he sends a report, patient

3:38

has radial nerve damage, everything

3:40

else is fine. I'm like,

3:42

what the fuck did I

3:44

learn from this dude? It

3:46

was the worst fucking 40

3:48

minutes of my life. And

3:50

he's just like, yeah, you're

3:52

right, it does. It does. I I

3:54

would that would make me fucking crazy he was

3:57

like reading about it I don't I don't have

3:59

your ability to go to the doctor the

4:01

way you do. Like you like going

4:03

to the doctor and to the dentist

4:05

and stuff like that? I went today. Yeah.

4:07

To what? Well here in LA I went

4:09

and got an EKG. For real? Yeah. Just

4:12

to see how it's going. Guess what?

4:14

They're like good. Perfect. He says

4:16

perfect. Really have you gotten the cat

4:18

scan where they check to see how

4:20

much block did you have? Yeah I've

4:22

had I've had that, I've had

4:25

the calcium cardiac cardiac rating

4:27

rating and CCT scan. I did,

4:29

I went to the dentist, I

4:31

had a lump in my

4:33

mouth, it was pretty scary.

4:36

Like a legit, like a

4:38

legit lump, like, and, oh

4:40

yeah, yeah, you start

4:43

questioning all the fucking

4:45

decisions you've made. And

4:47

what happened? Nothing? The

4:49

day I go, it disappeared, the

4:52

day I'm going. It just

4:54

goes away and I was like.

4:56

Okay, so do I not bring it

4:58

up? Because I know it's been there

5:01

for a while. Do I not bring

5:03

it up? Or do I bring it

5:05

up? Or do I bring it up

5:07

and just go, you know, and it's

5:09

gone. So I go in, because I,

5:12

you know, I had a tooth fall

5:14

out. Wait, recently? I, I had a,

5:16

what do you mean, fallout? Like you

5:18

were just talking and then a tooth

5:21

bounced off your tongue? No, I was

5:23

eating something and it. So I had

5:25

to get the crown put back

5:27

in and you know I don't

5:29

trust white dentists I only go

5:31

to like Peruvian dentists. I did

5:34

not. Oh yeah, of course. Yeah,

5:36

of course. Yeah, because the white

5:38

ones always try to upsell you

5:40

because they get a boat. Peruvian

5:43

one is just happy that he

5:45

can do dentistry. Yeah, I

5:47

told him about the lump and

5:49

he was like, he's like, all

5:51

right, let's do an x-ray, see if

5:53

it's cancer. And I was like, fuck.

5:55

And then they do the x-ray. I

5:57

mean, he didn't say, let's do the

5:59

x-ray. and see if it's cancer,

6:01

but he's like, let's do the

6:04

x-ray, we'll look around. He's

6:06

like, comes back and he

6:08

was like, yeah. When was the

6:10

last time you had your teeth

6:12

cleaned? And I was like, oh,

6:14

it's been a while, and Leanne

6:17

was there, and you know, I don't,

6:19

I don't tell the truth truth,

6:21

truth. I go, it's been a

6:23

little bit, and Leanne goes, it's

6:26

been 20 years. And. Leanne's like,

6:28

what the fuck is wrong with

6:30

you? So I'm doing it in

6:33

like late February. You put it

6:35

off? Why? It just fucking gives

6:37

me anxiety. Do you know what

6:40

happens if you have mouth cancer?

6:42

Oh, buddy. Have you seen Roger

6:44

Ebert when he had it? Pull

6:46

up the... How did he get

6:48

mouth cancer? I forget what caused

6:50

it, but when he... Oh, come on,

6:53

man. Hold on, hit the images. I

6:55

saw it, I saw it, yeah. That's

6:57

fucking yeah And they take they take

6:59

basically your bottom job. They

7:01

took his jaw off. Yeah Well, I

7:04

don't have mouth cancer. Thank God

7:06

He did the x-ray. It's like

7:08

you're fine. He's like we need

7:10

to clean your teeth Oh, oh

7:12

mother fucker that was scary that's

7:15

scary my my my wife's cousin

7:17

Had a tongue cancer and they

7:19

had to take out his tongue and

7:21

I think they were placed it with

7:23

like a finger or something Not

7:25

a finger, not a finger. We're

7:28

good on this, thank you. Yeah,

7:30

yeah, I don't need to see

7:32

that ever again. You can take

7:34

it down. You can get penis

7:36

cancer? Dude, come on, come

7:38

on. I can't get, I hope

7:40

I get murdered. I just hope

7:42

I get murdered. It doesn't have

7:45

to be that extreme. I'd rather

7:47

get murdered than have to go.

7:49

How would you choose to be murdered?

7:51

You want it to be a

7:53

real struggle? I would like it to

7:55

be a struggle. So you're looking at

7:58

probably strangulation or... stabbing

8:00

right that's what would be those I

8:02

would like to feel like I had a

8:04

chance then strangled probably strangled

8:07

yeah yeah not by like I want

8:09

but I wanted to be like a fucking

8:11

savage like I want to be a bad

8:13

dude I didn't tell you we went to

8:16

Paris yeah how was it it's crazy

8:18

because you know what made me think about

8:20

that I went for a jog one morning

8:22

I got I love jogging at like 6

8:24

a.m. in a foreign city. It's like my

8:26

favorite thing in the world to do. It's

8:28

my favorite thing. So it's 6 a.m. It's

8:31

still dark. It doesn't get dark until like

8:33

9. So it's dark as shit. And I'm

8:35

jogging in Paris and I realize I was

8:37

scared. And then I have nothing to be

8:39

scared of because they don't have guns. Oh.

8:41

There's still reasons to be scared in

8:44

Paris. For real? Yeah. It seemed like

8:46

there were no homeless people and no

8:48

racism which I thought was wrong. No,

8:50

yeah, I think you were probably in

8:53

a pretty good neighborhood. For real? Yeah,

8:55

Paris is a big city. There's a

8:57

lot of, there's a lot of dicey

8:59

areas in Paris. Do you think there's

9:02

racism in Paris? Yeah. For real?

9:04

Definitely. Because you see like,

9:06

it seems like everyone just gets along.

9:09

No, they don't. For real? Yeah, they

9:11

have like a real, I mean, there's

9:13

been the last decade. this influx of,

9:16

you know, Muslims that have moved

9:18

there and there's a lot of,

9:20

there's a lot of outspoken. Selling

9:22

the little Eiffel Towers and well,

9:24

just, they have their issues, man,

9:26

for sure. The only thing I

9:29

notice is that like, their black

9:31

guys don't wear cool shoes. Well,

9:33

here's what this says. Racism

9:35

has been called a serious social issue

9:38

in French society despite widespread public belief

9:40

that racism does not exist on a

9:42

serious scale in France. Antisemitism and prejudice

9:44

against Muslims have a long history. I

9:46

asked my bartender, is there racism here?

9:49

He's like, no, not really. We love

9:51

everyone. This isn't like America. You're obsessed

9:53

with racism. And I was like, dude,

9:55

I'm so obsessed with racism. I'm picking

9:58

out people you should hate. Yeah. I'm

10:00

walking down the street going, you can't

10:02

smell that fucking guy? Well, yeah, you

10:04

sound like a local. Don't let that

10:06

guy fool you. He's full of shit.

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14:23

bears. Yeah, you know what I did though? This is

14:25

this is my new thing. Yeah. This is

14:27

my new thing. Yeah. We go lian like

14:29

the the lotion. And so we went to

14:31

that store, they had one on the France

14:33

de laissez, champs de laissez, champs. Man,

14:36

your French is absolutely

14:38

impeccable, keep going. And so we go

14:40

to get the lotion and I'm like,

14:42

and the guy goes, do you like

14:45

a cologne? And I was like, now

14:47

I don't really wear cologne. And he

14:49

goes, oh, but uh... Let me try

14:51

something to how you have to smell.

14:53

And I was like, okay, give me

14:56

something good. And you know what he

14:58

says? It's like this guy knew me.

15:00

He goes, do you know Napoleon

15:02

Bonaparte? I said, yeah. And

15:04

he goes, would you like

15:07

his Cologne? I go, I

15:09

can buy Napoleon Bonaparte's clone.

15:11

And he goes, yes, this was

15:13

his favorite Cologne. This is

15:15

what he wore. So I bought

15:17

Napoleon's. and I'm in lands asleep

15:19

and I started buying dictators clones.

15:21

I got Churchill's Cologne. I got,

15:24

uh, I got, um, who's the

15:26

writer, Ernest Hemingway's Cologne? Those are.

15:28

I got Stalin's, dude, you can

15:30

get everyone, every dictator had a

15:32

scent. Well, Hemingway and, and Churchill

15:34

were not, just famous people. It

15:36

was like famous people. Yeah, sure.

15:38

Like, I, I thought that was

15:41

fucking. It's such a cool present.

15:43

It's such a cool. That is a

15:45

cool one. So who has the best smell

15:47

of those four? I bought them, they're all

15:49

getting delivered. Oh, they're all getting delivered. Yeah,

15:52

I'm going to get, I'm so excited. Okay,

15:54

here's some people out there. So George Washington.

15:56

George Washington, can I tell you something crazy?

15:58

George Washington existed before they. what dinosaurs

16:01

were. Didn't know that. He thought

16:03

they thought they were dragons.

16:05

Caswell Massey number six. Napoleon.

16:08

I bought that. I bought

16:10

George Washington's. Jean-Marie Farina-Ene for

16:12

Napoleon. Winston Ward Creed Tabrum,

16:14

a bespoke blend with tobacco

16:16

notes, fitting. Ernest Hemingway just

16:18

dumped a bottle of liquor

16:20

down his face and it's

16:23

American 31, whatever, one, 31

16:25

by Criggler. Oh, John F.

16:27

Kennedy. Did you buy his?

16:29

Eight and more? No, I

16:31

didn't buy his. I bought

16:33

Elvis's. Elvis's was like a

16:35

cheap cologne. It was like,

16:37

you, I was like six

16:39

bucks, I think. Everybody should

16:41

get Leo's. He, he, he, he, he, he

16:43

does pretty well. Oh, the adyam?

16:46

By Anic Guttal. Hmm. I've, I,

16:48

I, I got kind of fascinated by it.

16:50

You know what I was going

16:52

to do. You know what the

16:54

Escobar wear. That's the gangsters.

16:56

You gotta find out what the

16:59

gangsters were. Yeah, I could not

17:01

I could not find out what

17:03

Cologne Hitler war Yeah, not that

17:05

I was looking to buy it

17:08

That's I don't know. That's a

17:10

weird That's oh, that's called

17:12

Pablo Escobah That's a

17:14

different thing. I wonder yeah,

17:17

how about callones that

17:19

gangsters wore? Oh like Let's

17:24

see if there's a list

17:26

of those. Um, no. It has

17:28

a wood dog. He wears cool

17:30

water, doesn't he? Well, 93,

17:32

he did, but I don't know

17:35

about it now. He smells good.

17:37

I got some, I got

17:39

some Tom Ford Cologne. So

17:41

I had to go to

17:43

a Sebastian show. So I was

17:45

like, I'm gonna go by Cologne. Uh-huh.

17:48

Put on some spas- and I want

17:50

to- Was it a requirement to walk

17:52

in? Well, I was like, I don't

17:54

want to be the only one without

17:56

Cologne. Sure. That arena? Yeah. Fuck in.

17:59

Smelled good. Yeah. It's a blend

18:01

of just all the sense. Where

18:03

was it? Where was the show?

18:05

The forum, it was a while

18:07

ago. And I went to

18:10

Sebastian and I was like,

18:12

hey, he's like, what? And

18:14

I was like, smell me. He was

18:16

like, huh? I go, I brought

18:18

cologne for you. He's like, huh?

18:20

I go, I work alone for

18:22

you, because it's your show.

18:24

He's like, what are you

18:27

talking about, Bert? Put some

18:29

shoes on you got flip-flopped at

18:31

my show No, that's pretty

18:33

cool. So you just took a

18:35

leisurely trip to Paris. Yeah, must

18:37

be nice. Must be nice. Oh, very

18:39

relatable. Do you worry about

18:41

your kids? What if they're

18:43

what if they're like rich

18:45

kids? I mean, they're such

18:47

just little dudes who don't

18:49

care of I mean, they're

18:51

of an age where they

18:54

just don't care about anything

18:56

but like Having fun and

18:58

breaking things. They're just

19:00

like boys, you know, like

19:02

they're just they're into

19:04

Reeking havoc did I

19:06

tell you about I show you

19:08

the text message? No, I got this

19:10

is funny So there's doing

19:13

some work at the house

19:15

So there's been like construction

19:18

crews there. Yeah, and The contractor

19:21

texted me he goes everything's

19:23

okay This is okay, but I

19:26

just got to share this. Allegedly,

19:28

your super human children

19:31

totaled the porta potty.

19:33

They ransacked our outside

19:36

wood storage, pulverized a

19:38

50 pound two inch

19:41

stone that we needed

19:43

to reinstall. There's also

19:46

three evidence of a

19:48

fire, three bloody knives, and

19:50

the toilet seat is gone.

19:53

Cool guys. That's what the one

19:55

I was like, I don't know what

19:57

to say. I'm so sorry. He's like oh,

19:59

no We're laughing, it's very

20:02

funny, but everything's

20:04

destroyed. They destroyed everything.

20:06

And then I confronted

20:08

the boys, first Ellis.

20:10

I was like, hey

20:13

man, did you destroy

20:15

the porta potty and

20:17

ransacked the wood and

20:19

break this thing? And he

20:21

goes, oh. It was Julian. I

20:23

go, really. Your six-year-old little

20:25

brother just decided to do

20:27

that on his own. He

20:29

goes I saw it happening,

20:31

but it was mostly him

20:33

I go mostly I was like And

20:35

he goes I'm sorry I May have said

20:37

for him to do some of those things.

20:39

I was like oh so this was your

20:42

idea. He goes no, it was both of

20:44

ours, but he did most of it. I'm

20:46

like cool man. I go you know I

20:48

have to pay for this right I'm I

20:51

get the bill. He goes, oh, you

20:53

do how much? I was like, thousands

20:55

of dollars. He's like, no. He

20:58

goes, we will pay you back.

21:00

I go, no, you fucking won't.

21:03

You're not paying me back with

21:05

what I've given you. No. So,

21:07

no. But yeah, that's them. So

21:10

they're just like little

21:12

dudes is my point.

21:14

They're not like, you know, that's

21:16

not great. But they're just like to.

21:19

B little boy, they're not into like

21:21

labels or like things that are nice.

21:23

They're just into like can something go

21:26

can they go fast? You know how

21:28

they're like riding bikes down a hill

21:30

and they're he took a tricycle down

21:33

the hill that he's too big for

21:35

and the wheels came flying off and

21:37

he was like so so fucking fast.

21:39

The shit exploded like that's what he's

21:42

into. It's just being a crazy little

21:44

kid. So maybe I'll stay at Charro's

21:46

house. Please. It is such an ordeal.

21:48

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21:51

trying to find the perfect fitting tea.

21:53

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21:55

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21:58

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fumble this opportunity. Your face and your

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balls will thank you. Maybe I'll stay

24:22

at Charles House. I was thinking, that

24:24

would be great. I was thinking about moving

24:26

to Austin for a month. They have an

24:29

extra room. I was looking at,

24:31

I was like, I was

24:33

like, either, do they

24:35

really? Yeah. Oh, you'd have

24:38

a great time. I would

24:40

love for you to do

24:43

that. Yeah. I think

24:45

you'd enjoy that. I'll

24:47

move in with Charo.

24:50

I'm gonna do a

24:52

reality series. Fucking, sign,

24:54

sign, sign up. Let's

24:57

do it. I love it. Yeah.

24:59

No. You don't think I drive

25:01

her nuts? I don't know man.

25:03

I think I'm an interesting

25:06

roommate. I bet you are. What would

25:08

your dad say? Oh, my, oh my, my

25:10

dad, my, my dad, my, oh, fucking.

25:12

What? My dad, my dad, my

25:14

dad doesn't, no one, no one,

25:16

no one gets me. Like,

25:19

no one understands me. I

25:21

don't even understand myself. Well,

25:23

I had, like a moment where

25:26

I said to Leanne. I'm a

25:28

narcissist. I said this in Paris,

25:30

and she was like, no, you're

25:32

not a narcissist. I go, would

25:34

a narcissist know it though? Like,

25:37

does a narcissist? No, I'm

25:39

not a fucking narcissist. Or they

25:41

go, yeah, I'm a narcissist. It's

25:43

wild. That's an actually interesting

25:46

question. I feel like most of

25:48

the time the person would reject

25:50

a notion. They would be like

25:52

a... I would think so. They would

25:54

question it. No, I don't I think

25:56

if you said it to somebody who's

25:59

like to find that way they would not

26:01

see themselves as that. Yeah, see

26:03

a narcissist may be aware that others

26:05

perceive them that way they do

26:08

not often see their behavior

26:10

as problematic and therefore may

26:12

not consider themselves to be

26:14

a narcissist. Essentially they may

26:16

know their reputation but not

26:18

necessarily view their traits as

26:20

negative justifying them as their

26:22

signs of greatness instead. I

26:24

wonder what I have. Do you mean

26:26

like a behavioral thing? Yeah. Like

26:29

your psychological profile? Like I

26:31

said, I, Leanne got, got mad at

26:33

me today, we walked out a couple's

26:35

therapy and I said, I said, that

26:37

was a tie. And she went, we

26:39

can't look at therapy that way.

26:41

And I was like, I have to. Like,

26:43

and I, I, I, I, honestly, if I had

26:46

shut my, I knew I could have one. Why

26:48

do you have to see it that way? I

26:50

don't know. I just, it makes it fun

26:52

for me. Yeah, it makes it fun for

26:55

me. But she

26:57

said, I have such a fucking

26:59

dysfunctional brain, our therapist said, you

27:01

know, just give me a heads

27:03

up, if you ever say that

27:05

you're going to harm yourself, you're

27:07

going to do drugs, you know,

27:09

kill yourself, or do, you know,

27:11

I've got to report you. And then I

27:13

was like, all right, how do I slide some

27:15

of this in? Just how close can I

27:18

get to the fucking, to the fire? Yeah.

27:20

But it was a good one. Therapy today

27:22

was a good one. Do how

27:24

about, uh, histrionic personalities or

27:26

HPD? Do you think maybe

27:29

you have this? What's that?

27:31

Well, here's the symptoms. Attention-seeking,

27:33

being uncomfortable, hold on, go

27:35

slow, go slow. Being uncomfortable

27:37

when not the center of attention and

27:40

acting out to get it? Uh,

27:42

everyone shut the fuck up, okay?

27:44

Okay, I might have that, keep

27:46

going. Okay, dramatic behavior, being overly

27:48

emotional, dramatic or expressive. Okay. All

27:50

right, keep going, I got that.

27:52

Having emotions that change quickly

27:55

and seem shallow to others. Like

27:57

give me an example. Well,

28:00

that you could change your emotion

28:02

from a dramatic, let's say,

28:04

sadness to excitement to happiness.

28:06

Yeah, I got that, I

28:08

got that, I got that.

28:10

Being overly concerned with physical

28:12

appearance and using it to

28:14

draw attention. Oh, do you mean

28:16

like taking pictures of my dick and

28:19

posting it on Instagram? Yeah.

28:21

Okay. Believing relationships are closer

28:23

than they are and having

28:26

difficulty maintaining them. Uh, no,

28:28

I have a hard time. I have a

28:30

hard time maintaining relationships.

28:32

Do you believe sometimes? Yeah, I

28:34

think you believe that relationships are

28:37

closer than they are sometimes.

28:39

Not like with you and me, I

28:41

mean with other people. Yeah, I think

28:43

so. And then I have a hard

28:45

time replying to people and I don't

28:47

text people back or I

28:49

don't reach out to people.

28:51

Being overly sensitive to criticism

28:53

or disapproval? Or disapproval.

28:56

I got that too. I mean, you're kind

28:58

of checking all the boxes here.

29:00

Yeah. Acting inappropriately sexual

29:02

or provocative to gain attention

29:04

or approval. Uh-oh. No. Speaking

29:07

dramatically with strong opinions, but few

29:09

facts or details to support them.

29:11

I can answer that one for

29:14

you. Quickly tiring of routines,

29:16

jobs, friends, and romantic partners.

29:18

Quickly what? Tiring of routines,

29:20

jobs, friends, and romantic partners. No,

29:23

I've been with the same chick

29:25

for fucking... 20 years and

29:27

she's just gotten older so

29:29

having a low tolerance for

29:31

frustration or delayed gratification Yes,

29:33

I got that I'm drinking

29:35

right now because I'm frustrated

29:37

HPD is often co-existent with

29:39

other mental conditions like anxiety.

29:41

I got that The cause

29:43

is not entirely known but could

29:45

involve abuse trauma or neglect

29:48

So I got HPD Well you might

29:50

and that's something that a doctor could

29:52

check, but you might have HPD Histrionic

29:55

Personality Disorder. Yeah.

29:58

Can we read more about it? Yeah,

30:00

give me some famous

30:02

people with histrionics. Give

30:04

me some famous people

30:07

with histrion. Like who

30:09

else am I like? Okay, let's see.

30:11

Who is a famous person

30:14

with it? Megan Fox,

30:16

Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian.

30:19

But that's also, that's

30:21

just like, that's somebody

30:24

saying that these people have

30:26

it. You know what I mean?

30:28

I wonder if we could be friends

30:31

or if we just like fucking

30:33

drive each other nuts. Yeah, I don't

30:35

know. This is like, but this is

30:37

like diagnosing people from afar,

30:39

you know, saying that. They

30:41

say Miley Cyrus has a

30:43

very obvious case of it. Hmm.

30:45

I don't know. So is it just people

30:48

like, see, here's the thing I

30:50

have a hard time with, okay?

30:52

Oh, that's a good group to

30:55

be involved in. Anne and Nicole

30:57

Smith. Jerry Sanduskyy. Amber heard Megat

30:59

Fox? Yeah. And Bert Chrysler. Can

31:02

you guys, can you get

31:04

Bert added to this list?

31:06

Somebody? Please have him pull

31:08

up right under Sandusky. I

31:10

assume. Some have assumed that

31:12

Megat Fox is HD based on

31:14

our symptoms. It's a fucking, it's

31:16

all hot chicks. I'm a hot

31:19

chick. You're kind of a hot

31:21

chick. Yeah. I'm a hot mess. It's

31:23

really interesting. It's kind

31:25

of good to know what you

31:28

have. It is good. Also, is

31:30

there any treatment for it? It's

31:32

probably therapy. No, I don't want treatment.

31:34

I like me. That sounds like a

31:36

very histrionic thing to say. Yeah. Like

31:38

I was saying to Leanne, I was

31:41

like, I don't, because I can't understand

31:43

like, I never really understood

31:45

like, like, I asked already a question

31:47

on the podcast we did with them

31:50

and I was like, what do you

31:52

hope to gain out of this special,

31:54

uh, Jews coming out on Netflix, on

31:56

Netflix. is really great and beautiful. It's

31:59

but I'm I'm curious because Ari has

32:01

always said he doesn't want fame, he

32:03

doesn't want money. So it's like, I've always

32:05

been honest with what I wanted. Like I

32:08

want people to watch my special Lucky coming

32:10

out March 18th. I want people to watch

32:12

it. I want people to watch it because

32:14

I want to continue doing stand-up and I

32:16

want to... I would hope to make money

32:19

while I do stand up and I want

32:21

to travel the world doing stand up. And

32:23

I like being on stage. I do like

32:25

being the center of attention. But I understand

32:27

the person, like yourself, you don't like being

32:29

the center of attention, but you have a

32:32

draw to get on stage. So not like

32:34

being the center of attention off stage. I

32:36

do like being the center of attention on

32:38

stage. But okay, so how can you, I

32:40

would think this, it would go hand in

32:42

hand. That if you want to be the center

32:44

of attention, then, I can't wrap my

32:47

head around that because I think my

32:49

whole thing is based around like

32:51

being on stage and being on

32:53

stage like being always being on

32:56

stage always being having that's the

32:58

difference I just I have a

33:00

separation for it for me I

33:03

don't want all the attention when

33:05

I'm walking around or talking to

33:07

people or in a restaurant I

33:09

don't want to be the center

33:11

of attention when I walk out

33:13

and I you know I just step

33:15

and grab that mic, I want

33:17

to be the center of attention then.

33:20

You know, like when I'm talking to

33:22

people. It's so interesting to me

33:24

because I can't imagine, I can't

33:27

see the juxtaposition, you

33:29

know? Yeah, I think for me it's

33:31

just when performing. I do want you

33:33

to focus on me performing, but

33:35

I don't want it off stage. I

33:37

don't want it off stage. I don't

33:40

know. It's just like, it feels too

33:42

much for me off stage. Well, I just

33:44

see it never turns off. I just go, it's

33:46

never off. Like, it was kind of interesting,

33:48

and this sounds, this is gonna sound, whatever

33:50

it's gonna sound like it is, this is

33:52

truth. Is I didn't get, I got recognized

33:55

like maybe four times in France. And it

33:57

was kind of cool. I hadn't, hadn't happened in

33:59

a while to. that no one's watching

34:01

you. Like it was kind of cool

34:03

to go somewhere and then you

34:05

could just, and like no one, no

34:07

one gave a fuck about you and

34:10

no one was staring at you and

34:12

you didn't have to. But it

34:14

kind of bothers you too. No,

34:16

it didn't bother me. You know

34:18

it was funny? I don't know.

34:20

I get recognized a lot. Like

34:22

I think probably more than other

34:25

people. I don't know why I think it's

34:27

because I'm loud and I'm loud. I

34:29

saw guys, like in the States, I can

34:31

see, I see, if I see a

34:34

guy, I go, that guy's gonna recognize

34:36

me. Like I can see that there's

34:38

a body type, clothing type, where you

34:40

go, this guy's gonna recognize me. And

34:42

I would see those, I would see

34:44

the type of guy that should recognize

34:47

me, not recognize me. And it was

34:49

kind of like caught me off guard.

34:51

The first day I'd be like, oh,

34:53

fucking big guy in shorts and cold

34:55

weather with a fucking hoodie on. Yeah,

34:57

he's about to say something. He's about

35:00

to say, oh, the machine. Yeah, yeah.

35:02

And never quit drinking. And he

35:04

just walked right by me. And

35:06

I was like, wait, did you want

35:08

to? I'd walk by him a second

35:10

time. Sure. You really do. I

35:12

don't know if I've ever met

35:15

anybody who likes it as much as

35:17

you. You really like it. And you

35:19

know, I think there is a

35:21

subset of people that find that

35:23

shameful. They're like, that's kind of

35:26

gross. that I can't wrap my head

35:28

around the fact that people would see

35:30

that as gross. I go, yeah, but

35:32

I got on stage. Like you saw

35:34

me that I got on stage. You

35:36

saw that I wanted you to pay

35:38

attention to me there. You know, I

35:40

think it's the same part of my

35:43

personality disorder, the HDV, that I got

35:45

where I go. Yeah, no, it's like, like,

35:47

people like, like, already. Sounds

35:49

like you're coming to terms with

35:51

it. You know Ari said you always make it

35:53

about yourself and Tom I couldn't understand what

35:56

that I don't know what that sentence means

35:58

like really I really don't and I said,

36:00

wait, but I'm so confused. I actually was gonna, because

36:02

I chose said it to me before. And I said,

36:04

do I make things about myself? She goes, yeah. And

36:07

I said, but doesn't everyone? And she goes, no. And

36:09

I was like, but wait, when do I do it? She goes,

36:11

you're doing it right now. She was like, we're at dinner

36:13

and you're saying, do you make things about, you're making

36:15

this about yourself? And I was like, but I'm so

36:17

confused, because I was gonna, because I chose said, because

36:20

I chose said, Joe said it, Joe said it, Joe

36:22

said it, Joe said it to me before on

36:24

a podcast already said it to me the other

36:26

day so I was like in my head I

36:28

was like I wonder if they've talked about it

36:31

behind my back and I was like I was

36:33

like I might ask my friends to tell

36:35

me what I'm doing it if because if

36:37

it bothers people I want to stop. Oh

36:39

it bothers people but it's um but you

36:41

really don't know what that means like

36:44

what you don't understand what they're saying?

36:46

I don't know what that means like

36:48

I don't understand what it means

36:50

that like Somebody is saying,

36:52

you know, making an observation,

36:54

telling a story, and then

36:56

that you're, like, you, what you

36:59

do instinctively is go,

37:01

here's what happened to me, one

37:03

time. So in their mind, they're

37:05

telling the thing that happened to

37:08

them, and you're pivoting it to

37:10

something about you. So it's about...

37:12

I did that, I did that

37:14

today. I just did that to

37:17

you. Sure, when, right now. You said,

37:19

it's so funny. It's such a

37:21

natural part of my personality.

37:23

It is. It's part of your personality.

37:26

You told me about

37:28

your radial nerve damage

37:30

and I immediately told

37:32

you about me going to

37:34

the dentist. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but

37:36

I mean, I don't know. I

37:39

consider that talking. I know you do. Do

37:41

people not do that? Sometimes. And I

37:43

have like you're not like alone in

37:45

that. So no, a lot of people

37:47

do that. I mean, I've done that

37:49

too. So what are you supposed

37:51

to do? You're supposed to just

37:53

go like, that's cool. I think they

37:56

would like some people would say, well,

37:58

focus on that person telling. That

38:00

story asked them questions

38:02

about the story like make

38:04

it about them and then

38:06

there could be like a

38:09

natural time to make it about

38:11

Okay, do do me do it

38:13

again. Tell me a story and

38:15

I'm gonna make it not about

38:18

me. Okay. Tell me a story.

38:20

I did it when you said

38:22

your kids I Just I don't

38:24

even know I'm doing it. I

38:26

believe you I believe you I think,

38:28

I mean your natural instinct is to

38:30

like hear something and go, what's my

38:33

version of that? Or I have something

38:35

to say about that, right? Here, what

38:37

does it say? How to stop talking about

38:39

yourself? Okay. That's not good for

38:42

stand-up though. Well, if you're using

38:44

the words, I, me, and my, in

38:46

your conversation, you may not be having

38:48

a conversation. You may only be talking

38:50

about yourself. Actively concentrate on this when

38:52

you're speaking to others. After all, the

38:54

only way to stop a behavior is

38:56

to recognize it. An exception would be

38:59

statements such as, I agree or I

39:01

hear what you're saying. A great way

39:03

to remember this is to keep a

39:05

rubber band around your wrist. Every time

39:07

you catch yourself using those words, snap

39:09

the rubber band. Start practicing these steps

39:11

when conversing with others. Ask them to

39:13

tell you if you've missed a step.

39:16

Most friends will be supportive. Okay, tell me

39:18

a story. Okay, hold on. So

39:20

wait, I'll, okay, I'm gonna

39:22

start and I'll just ask

39:24

you a question. Okay. So, um,

39:26

I saw the, oh fuck, I saw, God

39:28

damn it. You can say that. Yeah,

39:30

okay. I saw the clip of Charo

39:33

on this morning on, how's

39:35

it been having her in

39:37

Austin? Because I'm so curious.

39:39

It's, she is, it's, man.

39:41

She's one of a kind,

39:44

she's one of a

39:46

kind, she's hilarious. She's

39:48

hilarious. She's a handful.

39:50

She is, that day, she came

39:52

on, the podcast that came

39:55

out. She came on, she

39:57

ate an edible, she drank.

40:00

I don't know, a couple

40:02

glasses of wine. My mom

40:04

only drinks decaf coffee and

40:06

she drank five cups of

40:09

coffee, regular coffee on that

40:11

podcast. Five. Five full mugs

40:13

of coffee. Really? Five in

40:16

like 90 minutes. It was,

40:18

she was just all over the

40:20

fucking map in just the

40:22

most unpredictable, volatile, hilarious,

40:24

and mind-bending way. I

40:26

mean, she was... Yeah,

40:28

she was like shot

40:30

out of a cannon

40:33

and No, she's she's a lot

40:35

of fun, but yeah, you

40:37

know, she's a lot dude.

40:39

My mom's a lot Okay,

40:41

people don't really know those

40:43

good. Okay. We're done with

40:45

your story. So let me

40:47

explain to you what happens

40:49

when I'm listening because

40:51

now that when you say yeah, I?

40:53

I think I figured I think

40:56

I figured out how to do

40:58

this So is the thing that

41:00

in your mind when you're listening,

41:02

you're like, I just, I don't

41:04

want, I want this to be done so

41:06

I can talk? No, no, no. I hear things

41:08

you say and I think, and I

41:11

immediately internalize it about how

41:13

have I experienced something like

41:15

that. Yeah. So you said that you

41:17

said my mom ate edibles and had

41:20

three last little red wine and as

41:22

I'm listening, I'm telling you said you

41:24

said you said it, what I thought.

41:26

I said, God man, I think it

41:28

would be fun living with Charo. And

41:30

then you said my mom only drinks

41:32

decaf coffee. And I said, I hate

41:34

decaf coffee, but I can't drink a

41:37

lot of coffee. And you said she

41:39

had five cups of regular coffee. And

41:41

then I wanted to tell you about

41:43

the time that I had five espresso

41:45

shots and threw up all night. And then

41:47

you said, the last thing you said about.

41:49

about her and I was like, and I

41:51

wanted to tell you about her eating edibles,

41:53

then I wanted to tell you about the

41:55

story of when my dad ate edibles recently

41:57

and go like, what's going on with her?

42:00

parents that they're eating edibles now

42:02

at the age is it about

42:04

depression or whatever so when I

42:06

hear a story when someone talks

42:08

to me I internalize it of

42:10

like a like a throwback almost

42:12

yeah I think some of that feels

42:14

like like you don't want to

42:16

listen though like like like if you

42:18

were to just listen like sit back

42:21

and listen like that would make you

42:23

anxious almost like it makes you anxious

42:25

to just Listen to the person because

42:28

you're like I have to relate it

42:30

to something that I know, right? I think

42:32

it's part of my social anxiety

42:34

because I don't I can't I'm not comfortable

42:37

being in a car with this

42:39

with a stranger because I'm

42:41

not comfortable with silence. Silence

42:43

makes me very uncomfortable. Holy

42:45

shit. So like and when we were

42:48

in Paris, Pete, uh, my Peter, Peter set

42:50

me up with a trainers. We're doing

42:52

the bench press competition, sent me with

42:55

a trainer at, uh, at the Louvre,

42:57

at the art museum? No, yeah, it's

42:59

the Louvre, like, not planet fitness,

43:01

but the Louvre, it's what do

43:04

you call like, cross trainer, cross,

43:06

cross fit, the Louvre. Okay. And

43:08

I had, I mean, I had

43:10

horrible anxiety about the idea

43:12

that I had to be with someone

43:15

I didn't know for about an hour.

43:17

Like it was, oh, it was dude, it

43:19

kept me up. It kept me up at

43:21

night and it made me sick in the

43:23

morning. And I was like, fuck. And then

43:25

they texted, are you coming in at noon?

43:28

And I was like, oh my God, I

43:30

was having so much panic about it.

43:32

And then how did it go? It was

43:34

great. But man, I fucking talked, that guy

43:36

did not say one god damn word.

43:38

I talked the whole fucking time.

43:40

And because I'm so nervous about

43:42

silence about silence. It makes me so

43:45

anxious. sense is like because you talk

43:47

a lot in general terms you always

43:49

you talk a lot yeah I do talk a

43:51

lot but I talk a lot

43:53

because I think as silence makes

43:55

me uncomfortable and if I can

43:57

be silent around you that means

44:00

I really like you so you

44:02

can be

44:04

silent

44:09

like

44:11

I've

44:14

said

44:16

this

44:19

to you

44:22

I've

44:24

always

44:28

admired how you can not

44:31

talk to people. Oh, and

44:33

by the way, I have sense

44:35

that I'm letting them down,

44:38

and then I'm like, let

44:40

them down. I want to.

44:42

I want them to walk

44:44

away being like, God. That

44:46

was so fucking... He didn't

44:49

say anything. I'm like, yeah.

44:51

That's exactly right.

44:54

Do you know I had a friend one

44:56

time I won't say his name, but he

44:58

was a friend. I mean I lived with

45:00

him at one point and We moved to

45:02

LA together like around the same time he

45:05

moved out. Yeah, same time. And we were

45:07

on the beach in LA and he said

45:09

Yeah, my brother's coming out here and

45:11

I said you have a brother And

45:13

he goes you've known me for five

45:16

years You didn't know I had

45:18

a brother. I was like well

45:20

you never talked about me talk

45:22

about it. Wow And I was

45:24

like, oh yeah, I never asked

45:26

any questions. His brother was a

45:28

bodybuilder. And I was like, well, you

45:31

have a brother's a bodybuilder?

45:33

It seems five years,

45:35

probably more. And I realize

45:37

I don't do that. I just don't.

45:40

And then sometimes I like.

45:42

Wait, Lorenzo's brother's

45:44

a bodybuilder? No, it

45:46

wasn't Lorenzo. Lorenzo

45:48

was like me, Lorenzo couldn't shut up either.

45:50

I remember that. Yeah, he was in a

45:52

good way, but like we were both the

45:54

same kind of like, just nervous. It's like

45:57

nervous. I don't know. Like, and I think

45:59

it happened. I know mine has to

46:01

do with social anxiety. And so

46:03

to be fair to you, to

46:06

be fair to you, thank you.

46:08

I think some of my not

46:10

talking is a version of

46:12

anxiety manifesting itself

46:14

too. You know what I

46:16

mean? Yeah. In certain situations,

46:19

I just rather not talk.

46:21

There's also, it also has

46:23

to do with, wait, hold

46:25

on. You don't want to

46:27

talk or you. I'm saying.

46:29

Look, there's sometimes where I'm

46:32

very comfortable just not speaking,

46:34

right? Like just naturally, I'm fine

46:36

with it. But I'm saying

46:38

there are certain situations where

46:40

I might have some anxiety and

46:42

my way of dealing with it,

46:45

whereas you would speak more, my

46:47

way of dealing with that would be

46:49

to not speak. That, you know what

46:51

I mean? I wish I had that. So

46:54

I'm nervous and I'm just not

46:56

going to talk. Yeah,

47:00

I wish I could. I remember

47:02

when I first got in the

47:04

business, my manager at the time,

47:06

Barry Cat, said, get information, don't

47:08

give it. And I got a

47:10

development deal for like, I don't

47:12

know, for like $100,000 or something,

47:14

maybe a little more. And he

47:17

said, do not tell anyone that

47:19

you got a development deal

47:21

and don't tell anyone how

47:23

much money it was. And

47:25

I was like, really, he

47:27

goes, get information, do not

47:29

give it. These comics will

47:31

not like you if they

47:33

find out that you made

47:36

$125,000 or whatever on a

47:38

development deal with Will Smith.

47:40

Trust me. And I

47:43

couldn't understand that someone

47:45

wasn't rooting for someone.

47:47

Like I couldn't get

47:50

it. And the very

47:52

first person that came up,

47:54

I heard you got a deal.

47:56

And I said, nah. I mean, yeah, you got

47:58

a deal. And I said. Yeah, I did.

48:01

And I was like, fuck,

48:03

I shouldn't have said that.

48:05

And he goes, how much?

48:08

And I go, ah. And

48:10

he goes, 100,000? And I

48:12

went, no. And he goes,

48:14

less? I went, no. And he

48:16

goes, more, OK. 125? And

48:18

I went, yeah. 125? And

48:20

I went, yeah. He just

48:23

walked away. And I

48:25

did everything very said not to

48:27

do. Yeah. I know, but it's new

48:29

to me. How is it new to you?

48:31

I don't realize I'm doing it. You have

48:34

to recognize you're doing it.

48:36

No, I'm recognized now that I'm doing

48:38

it. But I didn't realize, like

48:40

when Ari said you make everything

48:42

about yourself, I was so confused.

48:44

I was so confused. I was

48:46

so confused. I was so confused.

48:48

I was so confused. I was

48:50

so confused by that statement. No,

48:52

I go in with a game plan. You

48:55

do? You're like, I'm going to win today.

48:57

I'm going to win today. Dude, we

48:59

didn't have anything to talk

49:01

about today and I was like, I'll

49:03

bring up a fight that I won.

49:05

Put her in the weeds. Yeah. Leant

49:08

got on her heels a little

49:10

bit and then I was like, I was

49:12

like, ah, I'll get her out

49:14

and I'll, you know, I'll walk

49:16

out with a tie on this

49:19

one. Yeah, felt, you're okay with

49:21

that. Yeah, and we're doing in-person

49:23

therapy, which I've never fucking done.

49:25

Productive. Ugh. I don't

49:27

even think, I don't think

49:29

the, I just had a

49:31

hint today that the therapist

49:33

may not own the house

49:36

we go to therapy in. Hmm,

49:38

like rents out the space,

49:40

rents out the back space

49:42

as an office. That's not

49:44

unheard of though. I, but

49:46

I mean, I need to

49:49

profile my therapist a little

49:51

more. You don't like that?

49:53

No. Here, okay. So if I... Okay,

49:56

maybe this goes into my

49:58

HPB or whatever. If

50:00

I go to your house, if I go

50:02

to your house, I'd Zillowit, right? If I

50:04

go to anyone's house, I'd Zillowit. And

50:07

so I Zillow the house and I

50:09

was like, this is nice. So in

50:11

my head, I go, we got a

50:13

good therapist. They got a nice house.

50:15

Nice area, town. Yeah. And I was

50:18

like, nice. And then we went to

50:20

therapy. I hope my therapist doesn't hear

50:22

this. And I hope my therapist doesn't

50:24

hear this. And

50:28

we go to therapy is like our

50:30

second one at their house. And as

50:32

I'm leaving the back house, we come

50:34

out, the front door opens and

50:36

I hear a woman's voice and I

50:39

go, it's too quick for my therapist

50:41

to get from that room to that

50:43

room. Who the fuck is this? And then

50:45

I was like, oh, what a slick move

50:47

as a therapist. Rent out a

50:49

back house and a nice house

50:52

and everyone's gonna think you're a

50:54

good therapist. Oh. I see. I do too much math. I

50:56

think I could have been like a like a work for the

50:58

CIA and I don't think that would be a thing. I could

51:00

have totally. No. Don't think so. Do you Zillow people's houses? No.

51:02

No. Never when they I mean I've been on Zilla to look

51:04

at houses, but I've never been like where do you live

51:07

in Zillow bit? No. Like if someone sends, someone

51:09

says, someone goes, hey man, I want to send you a,

51:11

what you will call you will call you, what you, what you will

51:13

call it, or hey, or hey, or hey, or hey, or hey, can

51:15

you, can you, like, can you, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

51:17

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

51:19

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

51:21

like, like, like Okay, you send it to

51:23

this address, right? And so I was

51:26

like, sure. And then I zillowed it,

51:28

and I was like, nice. And then

51:30

sometimes people go, hey, send me your

51:32

address where I can mail you something,

51:34

and I'll send them the Zillow link

51:37

to my house. Cut it in half,

51:39

man. I know you're gonna zillow it.

51:41

Here you go. Are you serious? I'll

51:43

send you to the Zillow to my

51:46

house. You're like, it's doing all right.

51:48

Not as a joke, but someone said,

51:50

hey, what's your address? It was when

51:52

we were back at. And I was

51:55

like, dot, dot, dot, dot. And then

51:57

I go, I paid $5.20 for it.

51:59

I just wrote that in

52:02

the thing. I was like,

52:04

I'll save you. Then I

52:06

started sending the Zillow, the

52:09

Zillow lake. Let me pause

52:11

for a second. I

52:13

got a piss so bad. Okay,

52:16

cool Pete. Get me another

52:18

drink. Such a

52:20

remarkable Pete. Oh, Jesus. I

52:23

had I had roughly one,

52:25

two. So I had roughly

52:27

160. Snails while I was

52:29

in France. Wait, did you

52:31

do anything cultural there? No.

52:33

Wait, what did you do? I

52:36

mean, I was rude to people.

52:38

Was that cultural? That's sort, yeah.

52:40

No, we went to, first day

52:42

we went to, we went to the

52:44

Eiffel Tower. Okay. We went

52:47

to the Notre Dame. Okay,

52:49

that's, yeah, that's cultural touristy.

52:52

And then we walked to the

52:54

Arctic Triumph. And it's

52:56

pretty much it. went down

52:58

the Champs de laissez and we

53:01

walked to the Louvre, didn't

53:03

go in the Louvre, so

53:05

I was like, oh, so

53:07

chaotic. I have no fucking interest

53:09

in art, like I'd much

53:11

rather walk around the outside

53:13

of the Louvre, it's so

53:15

beautiful, that palace, and because I

53:17

don't know, nature for me is

53:20

more impressive than art. Have

53:22

you been to France? Yeah. What

53:24

did you do when you went

53:26

to Paris? Two years ago? Yeah,

53:28

took walks in the city, went

53:31

to the Louvre, did like

53:33

the fast track one, where

53:35

you see like 10 significant

53:37

pieces. Went to another

53:39

art museum to see a

53:41

different exhibit. And then, yeah,

53:43

I mean, went to different

53:45

restaurants, but I mean,

53:47

well, I was there on tour,

53:49

but I had off days, so

53:52

I did do. Yeah, there I

53:54

am. That's me in Paris. It's

53:56

where I got the. the jacket

53:58

that everyone's talking about. So yeah,

54:00

I mean, you know, it's different than

54:02

like just a social visit, but

54:04

I still managed to go to a

54:06

couple museums. I'll say this

54:08

though, that like the Louvre, like when

54:11

you are in there, even with like

54:13

the fast pass thing where they do

54:15

that, it is so, it's like a

54:18

terminal at the airport. It is so

54:20

crazy, the amount of traffic that's going

54:22

on at that, at that museum, which

54:24

is, I mean, I understand why it's,

54:27

it's got incredible. exhibits but

54:29

it is chaotic it's so much I

54:31

saw the Mona Lisa the when I

54:33

was in college I saw the Mona

54:35

Lisa and I was not impressed yeah

54:38

no so I was like a thing

54:40

about it was going with a

54:42

guide like the guide explaining the

54:44

Mona Lisa is it's it changes

54:46

the experience when they start

54:49

telling you about how like

54:51

when it was the story behind

54:53

it and then like the theories

54:55

on what is on what is

54:58

actually happening in that painting. That

55:00

changes the experience, I think. Wait,

55:02

I don't know any of those.

55:05

Well, I mean, you know, it

55:07

talks about obviously the famous Smirk

55:09

and how it's basically, I mean,

55:11

there was a theory. Well, picture

55:13

the Mona Lisa while you guys

55:15

are telling me this, keep going.

55:17

Well, he talks about how like,

55:19

let's see, there was, you know, this

55:21

is like a theory that it's a

55:23

woman who's dealing with her. aging

55:27

and how the river flowing

55:29

from behind signifies the youth

55:31

into the older age. I

55:33

can't do justice to the

55:35

explanation, but like when you're

55:37

there and this person is

55:39

going over every detail and

55:42

like what could be possibly

55:44

happening in it, it's like,

55:46

you know, it's an expert

55:48

telling you their theory on

55:50

it. So that part made

55:52

looking at it. a lot

55:54

more interesting because there's somebody

55:56

who's really explaining to you I can't do

55:58

it because I obviously I don't remember

56:01

every detail, but. But I

56:03

don't, like, what is the,

56:05

I mean, like, why is that

56:07

such a good painting? Like, I

56:10

don't, I can't, I don't, I

56:12

don't, I can't understand

56:14

how that is better than

56:17

like Thomas Kincaid, you know?

56:19

Well, I mean, it's, you

56:21

can actually totally rightfully

56:23

think that something's better than

56:26

that, but. Yeah, there's a

56:28

fascination with this one for

56:30

sure. I mean that, that

56:33

subtle smirk of hers is

56:35

like something that, and you

56:37

know, you could see it in the eyes

56:39

and the lips, but you know,

56:42

there's, I mean, you could hit

56:44

that. There's details there

56:46

that maybe, maybe some of

56:48

this will bring up what they

56:50

told me. Well, obviously,

56:52

it being painted by

56:54

Da Vinci probably makes it

56:57

a pretty, Attractive appealing piece

56:59

of art too. You know, because

57:02

of his legacy. It's like when

57:04

people said, like, when people said,

57:06

uh, the movie that Kevin Spacey

57:09

was in, uh, where the bag

57:11

was flying, West, West, West,

57:13

uh, American beauty. American

57:15

beauty. Everyone's like, this

57:17

is the greatest movie

57:19

ever. And I was

57:21

like, it was okay. But it's

57:24

like, I didn't think it was

57:26

better than, like, like, Yeah. Like, other

57:28

movies came out that year that I

57:30

was like, I think that's better. Like,

57:33

I think that year, I want to

57:35

say that, like, I'll say really honestly,

57:37

I think the butterfly effect is better

57:39

than that one. Really? Yeah, I mean,

57:41

I like time travel movies, so. But

57:43

like, I never, I just, it's sometimes

57:45

it's like they go, this is the

57:48

great, like you look at the Oscar,

57:50

the Golden Globes the other day, and

57:52

I was like, I didn't see any

57:54

of those movies, any of those movies. Yeah,

57:56

it feels like it's not like it used

57:58

to be the way that cinema would

58:01

dominate culture. It doesn't feel the same

58:03

anymore. Yeah, I wish I'd had a guide

58:05

with me on our tour in France. I

58:07

think it would have been more fun because

58:10

I just was with Leanne and I mean

58:12

I love I love Leanna but I'm gonna

58:14

know what I'm gonna say is gonna sound

58:16

shitty but she really is like a country

58:19

bumpkin and she walks into a place. Oh

58:21

my God what's this? And I'm like shh

58:23

keep it down like. Like, what do

58:25

you do? Like, she walked

58:27

in, we walked out to

58:29

the outside of the Louvre.

58:31

No, I think the palace

58:34

was Louis the 15th's palace

58:36

or something. Yeah. And she's

58:38

like, oh my God, who's

58:40

is it? What is it?

58:42

What is this? I don't even

58:44

know what this is. What am

58:46

I looking at right now? What

58:49

am I looking at right now?

58:51

Is them, what am I looking

58:53

at right now? Google it. Fucking

58:56

Google it and don't yell it

58:58

out loud. Everyone's, we're gonna get

59:00

pickpocketed by a god damn fucking

59:02

gypsy because you're fucking letting everyone

59:05

know we're not, we're not locals.

59:07

And then we walked through the

59:09

Notre Dame and the whole time

59:11

she's like, is that Jesus? And I

59:13

was like, I'm sure it is, it's

59:15

a fucking church. Yeah. How did this

59:18

catch on fire? What's old, what's new?

59:20

I don't understand. And I was like,

59:22

Google it. That was the greatest. Nah.

59:25

Just a trick. You're doing

59:27

a trick right now. Yeah. This

59:29

isn't real. It's a trick. And

59:31

we're like, yeah, none of us thought

59:33

he was magic lamb. That

59:35

was her whole, the whole time

59:37

in Paris. She'd be like, what

59:40

is this? How old is this? This

59:42

crazy. Has she said before? No. No.

59:44

That's why I took her. Oh. She'd

59:46

never been a Paris. So I bought

59:49

her for Christmas present. I bought her.

59:51

I bought her the trip to Paris

59:53

in the week before Tom. I had

59:55

decided by the way. You didn't get

59:58

her track suit? No, I did get her.

1:00:00

retracts it. Oh, I did. Did you get

1:00:02

your present yet? No. Has it

1:00:04

arrived? Okay, you're gonna love it.

1:00:07

You're gonna love it. Okay, cool.

1:00:09

And by the way, I'm noticing

1:00:11

when I'm doing it and I'm

1:00:13

trying to stop doing it, okay?

1:00:15

Just like I'm noticing it. Hey,

1:00:17

do you think Bobby's got the

1:00:19

same thing I have? Bobby Lee? Yeah,

1:00:21

Bobby Lee doesn't listen. That's

1:00:23

a good one. He's definitely

1:00:26

has something going on. Yeah,

1:00:28

I'm sure he is I think he

1:00:31

has multiple disorders, but oh, yeah No,

1:00:33

so I the week before the week

1:00:35

before we went to Paris I decided

1:00:38

to get off social media 100%

1:00:40

Wouldn't didn't get on Instagram once not

1:00:42

once not once you were there No, hold

1:00:44

on. Oh, hold on. So like the week

1:00:46

before and then as we were getting in

1:00:48

the car to go to Paris I was like, you know,

1:00:51

I'm gonna check I'm gonna check social media haven't been on

1:00:53

it and I checked it a little bit And then we

1:00:55

got on the plane and I was like, that's cool man,

1:00:57

I've been off social media for like five days, or maybe

1:00:59

four days, and I was like really happy. And then I

1:01:01

said, you know what, we're in, we're in Paris, I'm allowed

1:01:03

to eat bread and I can be on social media. Tom,

1:01:05

it's like, you know, when people die it and then they

1:01:07

gain more weight than they normally had, I had 16 hours

1:01:09

of screen time one time, one day. I was on my

1:01:11

phone, I would, I would, I was on the iPhone, I

1:01:13

was on the Eiffle, I was on the Eiffle, I was

1:01:15

on the Eiffle, I was on the Eiffle, I was on

1:01:17

the Eiffle, I was on the Eiffle, I, I was on

1:01:19

the Eiffle, I was on the Eiffle, I was on the Eiffle, I, I,

1:01:21

I, I was on the Eiffle, I was on the I, I, I I'm in

1:01:23

the Eye for Tower and I'm

1:01:26

just like getting on Instagram to

1:01:28

scroll. Looking at stuff. Looking at

1:01:30

stuff. And I'm, and it's like,

1:01:32

it's a fucking illness. I think

1:01:34

there's, I think it's so bad.

1:01:37

I really think, can I tell

1:01:39

you I had this insight that

1:01:41

like, do you remember a clockwork

1:01:43

orange? Where they, in order to

1:01:46

brainwash him, they keep his

1:01:48

eyes open and then they

1:01:50

show him different images. And

1:01:53

going like. I'm finding people

1:01:55

interesting that have 70 followers.

1:01:57

There's 70 followers. They've got

1:01:59

no... They're not. And you follow

1:02:02

them? And I just, yeah, I

1:02:04

don't follow them. I'll be like,

1:02:06

it's fascinating. That woman is cutting

1:02:08

out sugar. She's three days in.

1:02:10

She's shaking. This is an amazing

1:02:12

story. I sent a guy to

1:02:14

you today that I was like,

1:02:16

can I tell you why I

1:02:18

sent you that guy? Did you

1:02:20

get that guy? I sent you

1:02:22

a link to a guy? And

1:02:24

I'll tell you his name. Because

1:02:27

I was so amazed. at how

1:02:29

much positive feedback. Oh, his name's

1:02:31

Igor. It's Igor. Chidoskin. Tidoskin, no.

1:02:33

And he's just like, it's like

1:02:35

a thing of him with a

1:02:37

loaf of bread. Oh, yeah. Drinking

1:02:39

milk? No, I saw this. And

1:02:41

the comments, 7,000 comments. 350,000 views.

1:02:43

And they're all positive. And you're

1:02:45

like. What the fuck? How does

1:02:47

this guy get so much love

1:02:49

on the internet? I'll tell you

1:02:51

what, I'm going back into my

1:02:54

comments. I'm gonna start reading comments

1:02:56

again. That's great. That's how bad

1:02:58

I've been on the internet. So

1:03:00

you're gonna start diving in on

1:03:02

that now? Yeah, I just started

1:03:04

like, I've stopped reading comments because

1:03:06

I was like, I was afraid

1:03:08

I'd see a bad one and

1:03:10

then I was like, I see

1:03:12

bad ones anyway. Like I don't

1:03:14

even need to be on the

1:03:16

internet and I'll see a bad

1:03:18

one and I'll see a bad

1:03:20

one and I'll see a bad

1:03:23

one. I'll see a bad one.

1:03:25

Not the other day, it was

1:03:27

actually a while ago, but I

1:03:29

go to this, uh, the heart

1:03:31

button, you know, and I go

1:03:33

to hit the heart to see,

1:03:35

you know, if like anything, and

1:03:37

one of the comments is a

1:03:39

negative comment. I'm like, God damn,

1:03:41

I'm not even in the comments.

1:03:43

So I was like, fucking, I'm

1:03:45

reading comments again. I'm going back

1:03:47

to comments. I'm going back to

1:03:50

comments. I'm getting back on the

1:03:52

manic episode. can have my brain,

1:03:54

I'll do whatever they want, just

1:03:56

give me my TikTok. Okay. You

1:03:58

sound like manic. I know. I'm

1:04:00

coming to a lot of realizations

1:04:02

about myself. It's crazy that at

1:04:04

52 I'd start. Which is the

1:04:06

other realization? Well, the realization that

1:04:08

I got HDB. The realization that

1:04:10

I do pretty much make everything

1:04:12

about myself and that I didn't

1:04:14

even know I did it and

1:04:17

I didn't even know how to

1:04:19

stop it. Well, I think awareness

1:04:21

is a big first step. The

1:04:23

fact that I'm wildly nervous that

1:04:25

a conversation will end. Like

1:04:28

all I do is think of how

1:04:30

to perpetuate a conversation like out to

1:04:32

keep it going Yeah, that makes sense.

1:04:34

It's almost like keeping a balloon in

1:04:36

the air Yeah, that sounds like you.

1:04:39

Yeah, so I'm changing. I'm putting over

1:04:41

I'm pulling over a new leaf No,

1:04:43

you'll be shocked. Okay, I'll be shocked.

1:04:45

I think you're gonna be blown away

1:04:47

by the new bird. You think so?

1:04:50

Yeah, you know what I did the

1:04:52

other day? I bought a thousand pennies

1:04:54

and I'm just throwing around the city

1:04:58

So people see a penny and they go

1:05:00

oh good luck and then it's like just

1:05:02

a little treat for everyone I'm throwing them

1:05:05

everywhere. I just throw them out the car

1:05:07

windows just throw them just throw them out

1:05:09

the window if I put them in front

1:05:11

of people's cars I throw them in front

1:05:14

of people's cars so you all do you

1:05:16

deliberately do heads up or no no I

1:05:18

just talk some I just throw hands yeah

1:05:20

how much how many how many dollars do

1:05:23

you think a thousand pennies is a thousand

1:05:25

pennies is really I

1:05:28

thought it was gonna be a hundred

1:05:30

dollars. I was like, I go get

1:05:32

me a thousand pennies and then like,

1:05:34

really? And I was like, I don't

1:05:37

care how much it is. And it

1:05:39

was ten dollars. You know what I,

1:05:41

and this is how fucking, this is

1:05:43

whatever's broken with my brain is I

1:05:46

know there's really expensive pennies out there.

1:05:48

So then I got a penny, I

1:05:50

got a penny, a coin app. And

1:05:53

I scan every penny before I throw

1:05:55

it out the window to see if

1:05:57

it's worth anything. You are a mental

1:05:59

patient, man. The most expensive penny I've

1:06:02

gotten is worth 29 cents. I can't

1:06:04

imagine someone would give me 29 cents

1:06:06

for that penny. So you throw it

1:06:09

out? I threw it out. Okay. It

1:06:11

was a, and it was like a

1:06:13

fairly recent penny. What if it was

1:06:15

like $6,000 you would keep that one,

1:06:18

right? There's one that, there's one I

1:06:20

saw on the app that was worth

1:06:22

$7,000. Wow. So I'm not gonna, like,

1:06:24

what's so special about it? I don't

1:06:27

know. It's, it's like a buffalo penny.

1:06:29

I got one from 1983 and I

1:06:31

thought it was going to be worth

1:06:34

a lot of money because it's 1983

1:06:36

and they're like, nah, they made six

1:06:38

million of these. So like there's, they're

1:06:40

all over the place. What are like,

1:06:43

oh there you go, $7,000 penny? Yeah.

1:06:45

Is it the one with the buffalo

1:06:47

on it? Oh man. So yeah, so

1:06:50

I'm going to go through and what

1:06:52

I was thinking about is making Peter

1:06:54

go through and scan all my pennies.

1:06:57

Yeah, I take pictures of every... I

1:07:00

have... I have thrown out 50 pennies

1:07:02

so far and I have 50 pictures

1:07:04

of 50 pennies. You took pictures of

1:07:06

all of them? I take pictures of

1:07:09

all of them? You have to. You

1:07:11

have to take a picture of them.

1:07:13

For what? On the app? Oh, for

1:07:15

the app. Jesus Christ. What am I

1:07:18

looking for? What year is that? that

1:07:20

stamp on the coins that let you

1:07:22

know it was where it was minted.

1:07:24

P means the coin was minted in

1:07:26

Philadelphia, D. D. A lot of them

1:07:29

in Denver, a lot of them in

1:07:31

Denver. So this one is missing the

1:07:33

mint mark. And man. Yeah, 1983 penny.

1:07:35

I just threw one of those out

1:07:38

the window today. Could it be the

1:07:40

one? Leon's like, you're the dumbest person

1:07:42

in the world. She was mocking me

1:07:44

mocking me for throwing pennies out the

1:07:47

window. Well, you're giving people good luck.

1:07:49

Yeah, don't you, when you see a

1:07:51

penny and you pick it up, don't

1:07:53

you go like, hey, good luck, I'm

1:07:56

my way. That's pretty exciting. How do

1:07:58

you sell your penny though? How do

1:08:00

you, I don't know. I got one,

1:08:02

the most expensive penny I've gotten is

1:08:04

worth 29 cents. It tells you, I

1:08:07

got most pennies are worth two cents.

1:08:09

Oh. Here, I'll go to my coin

1:08:11

thing. Yeah, this one was worth two

1:08:13

cents. Let me see. Oh, look at

1:08:16

this one. This means that some asshole

1:08:18

wants this penny though. Some guys like,

1:08:20

you got that penny. I'll give you

1:08:22

seven grand for it. It's like, the

1:08:25

fuck are you doing man? That's what

1:08:27

you value? It's the same thing as

1:08:29

the Mona Lisa. Like there was a,

1:08:31

I was watching a TV show on

1:08:34

Netflix and there was a Hona Swagner

1:08:36

trading card and I was like, wow,

1:08:38

that's fucking valuable. And Pete was watching

1:08:40

it and he goes, who gives a

1:08:42

shit about that? And I go, I

1:08:45

would. Yeah, but it's worthless to me.

1:08:47

It's the same thing as Bitcoin or

1:08:49

Doge coin or Hock-to-a-girl. Hock-to-a-coin. What is

1:08:51

it? Is she going to jail? I-Hock-to-oh.

1:08:54

Yeah. She got-Hock-to-as going to jail, I

1:08:56

think. For what? For fraud. Okay. Talk

1:08:58

about the way the universe works. Here's

1:09:00

what's crazy. This is my hawk to

1:09:03

a rant, okay? I was thinking about

1:09:05

this the other night. She gets famous

1:09:07

for, for basically, for lack of better

1:09:09

words, for just being some clueless blonde,

1:09:12

some clueless drunk blonde. And people start

1:09:14

hating on her. Yeah, so you got

1:09:16

to spit on that thing. And so

1:09:18

some street interview. gets her famous and

1:09:20

people start hating on her because she's

1:09:23

famous and they I don't know why

1:09:25

but she gets famous from it what's

1:09:27

crazy is like you can't you can't

1:09:29

take the what is it you can't

1:09:32

take the the kid out of the

1:09:34

the dumb out of the blonde or

1:09:36

whatever you can't so what happens is

1:09:38

someone smarter than her says, how do

1:09:41

we take advantage of this kid? And

1:09:43

that's what they did. They just took

1:09:45

advantage of, she just, she's always been

1:09:47

what she said she was. Yeah. She's

1:09:50

like, yeah, I'm just here to party.

1:09:52

I just want to have a good

1:09:54

time. Yeah. And then these guys that

1:09:56

are smarter than her go, hey, we

1:09:58

can help you, why don't we help

1:10:01

you? You want to talk to a

1:10:03

crypto? Yeah. Yeah. And then she's like,

1:10:05

I'll do it. That sounds like fun.

1:10:07

That sounds like fun. We's going to

1:10:10

make fun. Yeah. We's going to make

1:10:12

fun. We just going to make fun.

1:10:14

We just going to make fun. We

1:10:16

just going to make money. We just

1:10:19

going to make money. We just going

1:10:21

to make money. We just going to

1:10:23

make money. We just going to make

1:10:25

money. We just going to make money.

1:10:28

We just going to make money. We

1:10:30

just going to make money. And then

1:10:32

that is the fucking... She's never been

1:10:34

anything but exactly what she is. Your

1:10:36

hawk to us sounds a lot like

1:10:39

Leanne. Leanne's a little bit of a

1:10:41

hawk toa. Yeah. Except Leanne will never...

1:10:43

Am I spitting slippery like you're a

1:10:45

spit? I know. I know. Okay. All

1:10:48

right. Well, I think we learned a

1:10:50

lot this episode. I think we did.

1:10:52

I feel like this was a pretty

1:10:54

good session. Am I

1:10:56

just in therapy? This is

1:10:59

definitely a therapy session for

1:11:01

sure, but I enjoy it.

1:11:03

Did I make this episode

1:11:05

all about myself? 100% but

1:11:07

it was productive and I

1:11:09

feel like, you know, we...

1:11:11

Dono Rollins is calling. Oh,

1:11:14

okay. Pass, he probably wants

1:11:16

to talk about Juneteenth. Already?

1:11:18

Yeah, it's coming up. He's

1:11:20

got a big Juneteenth party,

1:11:22

he's got planned. Oh, really?

1:11:24

Yeah. Are you going to

1:11:26

go? Yeah, I'll be late.

1:11:28

You want to sign off

1:11:31

with your regular Nazi salute

1:11:33

or how you want to

1:11:35

do it? Did you see,

1:11:37

do you see Elon's? Just

1:11:39

thank you from the bottom

1:11:41

of my. Yeah, of course.

1:11:43

He's just autistic. He's just,

1:11:46

even the videos of him

1:11:48

just going like, in the

1:11:50

thing. He's just, can you

1:11:52

imagine how his brain must

1:11:54

go? R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r- It's bizarre.

1:11:56

All right. We're gonna do

1:11:59

a fancy Hollywood party, me

1:12:01

and you. tonight

1:12:03

okay let's go

1:12:05

okay let's thank

1:12:08

you for

1:12:10

listening we'll see

1:12:12

you guys

1:12:14

next week for watching.

1:12:17

Thank you guys for watching.

1:12:19

Thank you for listening. We'll

1:12:21

see you guys next week.