0:00

My new special Lucky is

0:02

streaming right now on Netflix.

0:04

Check out. Hey everyone, we

0:06

just announced my fall 2025

0:09

come together tour dates. We

0:11

added a whole bunch of

0:13

cities including Allentown PA, West

0:15

Lafayette, Indiana, and Colorado Springs,

0:18

and many more. I will see

0:20

you out there. Thank you so much.

0:22

100%! See you! Ladies and gentlemen,

0:24

new episode of Two Bears One

0:27

Cave! And this is why I

0:29

should have done this podcast with,

0:31

fucking screwed the pooch, I took

0:33

the wrong Latino. Tommy just got

0:35

done, he's, uh, I think

0:37

Tommy's retiring, Joey. I think he's

0:40

gonna, I think he's gonna, I

0:42

think this is his last tour.

0:44

But this point, it's, it gets,

0:46

it kind of gets redundant

0:48

after a while, you know, and that's

0:50

why I never wanted to go into

0:53

arenas or nothing, because then you have

0:55

nowhere to go. After an arena, what

0:57

are you going to do? You're going

1:00

to play on Mars? What are you

1:02

going to play on? On a spaceship?

1:04

So it kind of becomes, it kind

1:06

of, listen, when you're a middle

1:09

level comic and you do the

1:11

improv, after the ninth time that you're

1:13

at the 10th B improv, you ask

1:15

yourself, how much longer can I do

1:17

this for? I never asked myself that.

1:19

And then I asked myself, I said

1:21

to myself, when I was getting ready

1:24

to announce this new tour, I was like,

1:26

So wait, how, am I just gonna

1:28

do this forever? Like, what, is there

1:30

an end date to this? There is, and

1:32

the way I look at it is you have

1:34

to, like what you did was brilliant.

1:36

I tell people all the time,

1:39

what happened, what happened with me

1:41

was, I was doing stand-up, but

1:43

I wasn't having fun. It was

1:45

a business. And that's a horrible

1:47

way to do stand-up comedy. When

1:50

you do it as a business, I wanted

1:52

to fall in love with it again.

1:54

falling in love with it naturally from

1:56

this and it's not about the money

1:58

it's not about the It's you driving

2:01

toward the shittiest open mic on

2:03

Tuesday and getting on stage. That's

2:05

what you always want to do.

2:07

We forgot all that. Look what's

2:09

going on in the comedian world

2:11

now. We're not comedians anymore. We're

2:13

not comedians anymore. We're not comedians

2:15

anymore. We're not comedians anymore. We're

2:17

talking about politics. We're talking about

2:20

this. We're having arguments with other

2:22

people. At the end of the

2:24

day, that's not what we got

2:26

into this for. to get my

2:28

dick sucked to travel and to

2:30

do drugs. I got married, that

2:32

was the end of getting your

2:34

dick sucked. You got a girlfriend,

2:37

you move in, you can't get

2:39

your dick sucked. That's part of

2:41

going on the road. Oh, I

2:43

could still do drugs. Okay? And

2:45

then one day you stop doing

2:47

drugs. And you're like, what am

2:49

I doing? I'm coming out of

2:51

it because I used to do

2:53

the road to do drugs. You

2:56

know, I got a wife, she

2:58

doesn't want to see me coaked

3:00

me coaked up. So I would

3:02

hold off all week. So the

3:04

fun went out of it. I

3:06

just wanted, after the pandemic, I'm

3:08

like, thank God this happened. Thank

3:10

God, I don't want to do

3:13

nothing. They kept calling me, let's

3:15

set up the date for July.

3:17

Call me when it's over. Okay,

3:19

I'm like Green Day. Call me

3:21

when it's over. Call me when

3:23

it's over. Call me when it's

3:25

over, whatever the fuck it is.

3:27

I don't want to. But that's

3:29

why I am right now. I

3:32

felt that we didn't take a

3:34

break during the pandemic. You know,

3:36

I mean, we didn't, we kept

3:38

podcasting, you know, we didn't take

3:40

a break. And Tommy Buns has

3:42

to be burnt out by now.

3:44

Oh, this last tour he did

3:46

was the biggest one he's ever

3:49

done. And he's, I think, it's

3:51

all arenas. And he's, and I

3:53

know him. He doesn't do drugs.

3:55

He doesn't get his dick sucked.

3:58

It's it's it's it I

4:01

enjoy the fans and I enjoy the

4:03

seeing them and having a good time,

4:05

but I just couldn't see myself doing

4:07

this start with 65 every week. I

4:10

didn't love it that much. I love

4:12

my family just a little bit more.

4:14

You did the right, I mean, I

4:16

think you've done the right thing, especially

4:19

knowing like how much time you spend

4:21

with mercy. And I look back and

4:23

I go, man, I was gone. all

4:25

the fucking girls' childhood. All of it.

4:28

I saw them Tuesday and Wednesday, Monday

4:30

night, Tuesday, Wednesday, until I started canceling

4:32

Sundays. When did you think, when do

4:34

you think you loved it the most?

4:37

What was the most favorite time in

4:39

stand-up for you? When I was dead

4:41

broke. Yeah. And... Why is that? Why

4:43

is it the fucking, the wing of

4:46

the poorest you are, it's the most

4:48

fun. Every night's an adventure. Yeah. You

4:50

got $3 in your pocket and two

4:52

comedy sets. One, you're going to pick

4:55

up $45 dollars at. Let's see where

4:57

the night takes me. Some nights you're

4:59

home at one and you're fucking depressed

5:02

because you ate two bags of dick.

5:04

But some nights you got the $45

5:06

in your pocket. You're at some girls'

5:08

house at four in the morning. Everybody

5:11

snorting coke. You're like, this is great.

5:13

I could do this forever. We all

5:15

had the best fun when we were

5:17

struggling. When you barely made the gig.

5:20

when you don't have money to get

5:22

the plane ticket that's got canceled. Remember

5:24

if you got canceled in those days,

5:26

you were kind of fucked. You don't

5:29

have $200 again, we barely, you know.

5:31

And those are the times where I

5:33

thought I had the best time. You

5:35

know, and yeah, I had great times

5:38

on the road touring. You did the

5:40

right thing. You broke it up. You

5:42

said you have the best idea in

5:44

comedy. It was the best festival in

5:47

comedy. The thing on the road. The

5:49

buses and stuff. That's a great idea.

5:51

That was brilliant because it took you

5:53

off of the A markets, it put

5:56

you in C markets that people never

5:58

think of going to these towns. Brandon

6:00

Mississippi Brandon Mississippi you went to all

6:02

these places you went to a place

6:05

in Tennessee that I considered the best

6:07

place I've ever been to where was

6:09

that the first year we were in

6:12

Tennessee one night and I thought I

6:14

loved that town because of that the

6:16

hotel people were nice everybody knew you

6:18

in town you know we would have

6:21

like a day and a half we

6:23

were already talking to people I met

6:25

a great girl down there ended up

6:27

having a kid we ate mushrooms together

6:30

You know, that was fun because you

6:32

have no pressure on you. Yeah. You

6:34

have no pressure on you. It's 20

6:36

minutes. I can do 20 minutes in

6:39

my sleep and I don't really care

6:41

if they sell tickets. You know, when

6:43

you're doing comedy, it's not, it's maintaining

6:45

the material, writing material, and then your

6:48

agents are calling you. Hey, Brandon, Mississippi,

6:50

you're not selling tickets down there. This,

6:52

that. You have so much going. so

6:54

much inner stress that you don't even

6:57

feel you're like, oh, I've been doing

6:59

this for years, but now it's inner

7:01

stress. You're selling tickets. Put this up.

7:03

This guy wants you to play there.

7:06

Hey, when you go there, they want

7:08

you to stop over here and get

7:10

a sweatshirt and take a picture. You

7:12

know, it's not, it's never ending being

7:15

a comic. You know, it never ends.

7:17

It never ends. And once you do

7:19

have a wife and a kid, it.

7:22

You know, I always liked those guys

7:24

that you were on the road with

7:27

in the beginning, and it was their

7:29

third week on the road. And they're

7:31

calling your wife, and you're like, I'm

7:33

with Bert Chrysler, we're drinking, we're playing

7:35

golf. And she's like, motherfucker, I'm over

7:38

here putting a diaper on one kid,

7:40

and the other kid's yelling, and you're

7:42

fucking playing golf. with Burke Chrysler, you

7:44

know? Like I think women always like,

7:46

when they go to work, women are

7:49

like, oh my God, you're so lucky.

7:51

He must be so fun to have

7:53

him around and he must be so

7:55

fun. That shit lasts a year. Women

7:57

think that shit's cute for a fucking

8:00

year. And then they're like, bitch, you

8:02

know, I'm over here cleaning the bathroom.

8:04

And you're in Miami with Joe Rogan

8:06

jumping up and down go fuck yourself,

8:08

you know Women can't they can't after

8:11

a while those earliest days with Rogan

8:13

must have been a fucking blast They

8:15

were a blast you any problem just

8:17

traveling with you guys Eddie Bravo tape

8:19

Joe Duncan in me and red man

8:22

in a van Joe not knowing where

8:24

he's going in the van, you know,

8:26

yeah, why are we doing this Joe?

8:28

Put the fucking thing I know where

8:30

I'm going arguments the whole thing but

8:33

he took good care of us Like

8:35

I can't, I can never be mad

8:37

at that guy. Yeah. Like I get

8:39

mad at him for a minute sometimes.

8:41

He says something stupid on the UFC

8:44

or something. And I'm like, what the

8:46

fuck Joe? And then I go, that

8:48

guy, you know, he created this comedy

8:50

environment for us. That was tremendous. He

8:52

was paying this great. We were eating

8:55

like fucking kings. You know, we were

8:57

sponsored by Fogo to Child for like

8:59

three years. Every time we landed in

9:01

we went to Fogo to Chow on

9:04

the arm and then Joe would get

9:06

shots that were like four dollars Yeah

9:08

for all of us and on the

9:10

way in the car you go you

9:12

just did a four dollar shot you're

9:15

like fuck fuck Joe thank you and

9:17

that's when Joe just discovered weed yes

9:19

we made him smoke weed and Duncan

9:21

had the fucking dummy with him in

9:23

the hotel Nemo and he used to

9:26

scare the shit out of me and

9:28

Ari's always been crazy You know, Ari's

9:30

just fucking Ari, Ari, Ari is, he's

9:32

a comic in his own world. Like

9:34

now he wants to go to Europe,

9:37

it's his last tour. Yeah. He's just,

9:39

and gotta be honest with you, these

9:41

guys are doing it right. Yeah. I

9:43

was doing it wrong. I was doing

9:45

it too seriously, I got to stick

9:48

to that material. Now I watch everybody

9:50

doing arenas and they're doing fucking, they're

9:52

talking to the audience. Everybody's talking to

9:54

the audience in the marina. I was

9:56

raised not to talk to the audience.

9:59

in a fucking arena for a big

10:01

show. These guys are like, hey, what

10:03

do you do for a living? I'm

10:05

like, God damn it! In a arena!

10:07

My God damn it! What the fuck!

10:10

But I could see that was getting

10:12

monotonous for me. Like it was just

10:14

getting monotonous and it's bad for everybody.

10:16

You go into a club for 20

10:18

years and that guy's still a bus

10:21

boy. And you're seeing him as a

10:23

bus boy and he's seeing you as

10:25

a comic that comes every 18 months.

10:27

It was just I don't know something

10:29

wasn't right. I wanted to do it

10:32

more how bands did it How's that

10:34

you guys work hard when you go

10:36

on a tour? It's 10 months. Yeah,

10:38

listen? Once that 10 months in and

10:40

you say goodbye to your fellas and

10:43

you go home It's over. Yeah, there's

10:45

no videos. There's no look at me

10:47

down. It's just and we all see

10:49

when I got to LA in 97

10:51

everybody had a Your manager had a

10:54

plan for you. So Bert, you're going

10:56

to go on the road from January

10:58

to April. Or every week, Bert, shut

11:00

your fucking mouth. And then I got

11:03

you a show. You're going to shoot

11:05

from May to July. You're going to,

11:07

there's 11 episodes. You're going to shoot

11:09

11 episodes. You're going to shoot 7

11:11

episodes. You're going to go to the

11:14

comedy store every night till you ask

11:16

turns green. And you're going to do

11:18

a spot till you get an hour.

11:20

Then we're going to shoot a special,

11:22

we're going to put that in the

11:25

tank, and that TV show comes out,

11:27

the special come out, and you're back

11:29

on the road in January. Yeah. There

11:31

was always a plan. There's no more

11:33

plan. There's no more plan. There's no

11:36

plan. There's no plan. There's no plan.

11:38

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11:40

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at acorns.com/bears I didn't like that I

14:52

wanted to do I was trying to

14:54

figure out listen I love ledge up

14:56

and not just because of their music,

14:58

I love their style, how they did

15:00

it. They never did a TV show,

15:03

they refused, they never did whatever show

15:05

at night on Fridays, what was that

15:07

guy's name here, Carson, Bruce Griffin? No,

15:09

no, no, there was a show when

15:12

I was growing up, Midnight Special, and

15:14

Don Kersh's rock concert. Yeah. There were

15:16

all these USA had one, they never

15:18

did that. Their manager never allowed them

15:20

to do a TV. performance of anything.

15:23

It was very, you look at Led

15:25

Zeppelin, you know, like there were just

15:27

a bunch of wackos. No, they weren't.

15:29

That manager had a plan from day

15:31

one and he stuck to it and

15:34

that's why they ended up having nine

15:36

albums and they're one of the most

15:38

successful bands of all time. When they

15:40

toured for a year and a half...

15:42

When they got off, they got off.

15:45

They didn't even talk. Yeah. They didn't

15:47

even talk for a year. After about

15:49

a year, one of them will get

15:51

bored and go anything. We should go

15:53

in the studio a half. I'm too

15:56

busy shooting heroin. Try me in six

15:58

months. Arrow Smith. All those guys had

16:00

these schedules. Somewhere along the line. And

16:02

calmly, it just got thrown off the

16:04

window. There's no plan. You stay on

16:07

the road to you or whatever. I

16:09

didn't like that. Yeah. I'd rather stay

16:11

on the road, and you got a

16:13

movie for me. And I'll take off

16:15

and then I'll do the movie I

16:18

will not post anything on social media

16:20

People will have to put me in

16:22

the back of milk containers Because you

16:24

are not gonna see me. I will

16:26

not make a fucking video And then

16:29

you come back like Jesus is born

16:31

and yeah, we didn't do that we

16:33

stayed in their faces We stayed in

16:35

their face. Yeah, that's it's it's it

16:37

was that monotony of like you had

16:40

to post a podcast has to go

16:42

up every week every week Every week

16:44

you're always doing each other's podcast. Social

16:46

media, I mean, man, I wish I

16:48

could put that toothpaste back in the

16:51

tube. I've shared everything on social media.

16:53

I mean, what happened we shared on

16:55

social, I don't even, I tweet once

16:57

a week now, maybe twice a week,

16:59

because I know you're in competition with

17:02

these people that don't stop tweeting on

17:04

that. I look at like young dudes

17:06

that are putting out content on Instagram.

17:08

I've slowed down on Instagram, but here

17:10

I'm losing. promoting the special and I'm

17:13

in New York and I'm over exposed

17:15

and I'm on everyone's podcast. I'm I

17:17

see a comment I'm sick of seeing

17:19

his fucking face and I'm like me

17:22

too. Get me the fuck. I'm gonna

17:24

take I'm gonna take another break while

17:26

like this summer I'm gonna dip out

17:28

for a sec. No tour the summer.

17:30

We're supposed to do fully loaded again

17:33

this summer and then I just said

17:35

you know I was like you know

17:37

let's Let's not. Let's let it breathe

17:39

for a season and come back in

17:41

the fall, come back again next summer

17:44

and like where everyone's rejuvenated. And by

17:46

the way, I don't even have an

17:48

act. I've just started writing. We lose

17:50

one hour. We lose an hour. Then

17:52

you got six weeks on the road

17:55

doing all material that they're going to

17:57

see in this special. There's that. It

17:59

was backwards. So wait a second. I'm

18:01

going to go on the road for

18:03

a year to work on material that

18:06

they're going to see on Netflix or

18:08

any other platform. Something wasn't right. That's

18:10

why I said you finished that TV

18:12

show and then you stay in LA.

18:14

And you hit all those spots every

18:17

night. I thought that was kind of

18:19

cool about Joe's special is he never

18:21

toured that material. That material only lived

18:23

in Austin. Like he never took that

18:25

hour out on the road so he

18:28

doesn't tour. And I was like, that's

18:30

kind of cool if you write an

18:32

hour in a city, just live in

18:34

a city, write your hour, perform it,

18:36

and the whole world sees it for

18:39

the first time on Netflix. But you

18:41

had to take this hour, this hour

18:43

that's on Netflix now, I took it.

18:45

It's on the huge, like, fucking huge

18:47

arena tour. And I gotta do, here's

18:50

the thing that gets complicated. This is

18:52

the thing that is, once you start

18:54

making money, you start making other people

18:56

money. So you've got bus drivers who

18:58

count on you. You have crew, crew

19:01

of 18 who count on you. You

19:03

have a production manager who counts on

19:05

you, a tour manager that counts on

19:07

you, an assistant that counts on you.

19:09

And then you go to do your

19:12

next tour and everyone's, you had hired

19:14

hired all these people and everyone is

19:16

looking for work. So like I ran

19:18

into a guy the other day, I

19:21

haven't seen him a while, and he's

19:23

like, yeah, when are we going back

19:25

on the road? And I was like,

19:27

we. I was like, fuck, I guess

19:29

I'm taking him back on the road.

19:32

So it's crazy, man. I'm jealous of

19:34

you. I look at your post. Whenever

19:36

I see your posts, like you, George

19:38

and Ila had a group text they

19:40

share with you and Mercy were on

19:43

a boat. And they were like, is

19:45

that mercy? And I was like, fuck

19:47

yeah, she's grown up. Yeah, it's a

19:49

different story. Yeah. It's a way different

19:51

story. Listen, when you're doing it, you

19:54

don't realize it's the best thing you're

19:56

ever going to do is raise a

19:58

child. Whether it's a boy or a

20:00

girl, you're raising them. We came from

20:02

LA. And I hate to harp on

20:05

this, but it's the truth. We came

20:07

from a society where we were around

20:09

a lot of broken women. Broken. Whatever

20:11

they call that shit. Daddy issues, whatever

20:13

the fuck is. And I really looked

20:16

at that when I got home and

20:18

I looked at it. She didn't like

20:20

it. Mercy didn't like it too much.

20:22

Yeah. Mercy, it hit her when I

20:24

wasn't home from Terry's birthday. right before

20:27

the pandemic and my sister-in-law came out

20:29

and they were like we were all

20:31

their dad except for you you have

20:33

to stop it with this road shit

20:35

you know pick different weeks and I

20:38

thought about I'm like what the fuck

20:40

does she know about life she doesn't

20:42

know anything about bills my fucking bridge

20:44

broke they want 20 geez I got

20:46

no fucking teeth the thing broke what

20:49

does she know about 20 geez you

20:51

know we got to go out kill

20:53

too many fucking Puerto And I thought

20:55

about what she was saying, and then

20:57

things started happening to me in other

21:00

avenues. The weed company came, I got

21:02

signed by draft. King, there was all

21:04

these opportunities that said, Joey, this is

21:06

your chance, the universe is giving you

21:08

a chance to regroup your life and

21:11

figure out how to work it as

21:13

a dad. You know, because we didn't

21:15

plan on being dead, it just happened.

21:17

And now we're getting busy and ever.

21:20

Now, you know, nobody wants you to

21:22

do all this shit, but we have

21:24

to do it. It's my fucking job,

21:26

you know, and people have no idea

21:28

that once you're in it You're in

21:31

it. The reason why I'm not at

21:33

the level I was as a comic

21:35

five years ago is because I'm not

21:37

in it no more if I get

21:39

on stage twice a week It's a

21:42

lot. Yeah, I was at a point.

21:44

I was doing you know, we do

21:46

15 sets a week without even knowing

21:48

without even thinking you walk into a

21:50

place like you want to get up.

21:53

Yeah, and all that shows You know

21:55

all that shows everywhere. It shows everywhere

21:57

and I could tell sometimes I struggle

21:59

on stage and that's because I don't

22:01

have what I had available to me

22:04

in LA. The thing I did was

22:06

when I left LA that I didn't

22:08

know I had done. is I actually

22:10

kissed my career goodbye. You think? When

22:12

I went, right before we left, I

22:15

went to the store one day by

22:17

myself. And I just sat on the

22:19

stairs. There was nobody there. Town was

22:21

locked up for COVID. And I just

22:23

sat there. Town was locked up for

22:26

COVID. And I just sat there. I

22:28

realized what the fuck had happened the

22:30

last 23 years. Like what the fuck

22:32

happened? One minute we're up here starving.

22:34

Ralphie May. We're fucking chipping in to

22:37

get a turkey. Yeah. And you're like,

22:39

what? How did this even happen? It's

22:41

so wild from what I knew stand

22:43

up to be when I started. I

22:45

was listening to a conversation in the

22:48

hallway between a group of comics who

22:50

were explaining why it was more cost

22:52

effective to fly in a helicopter from

22:54

LAX to the valley on. And I

22:56

was like, wait, what are we, like,

22:59

we're taking helicopters places? I was like,

23:01

you know, I was, I've heard stories

23:03

in this, like, talking about tour buses

23:05

and private jets and you're like, dude,

23:07

I'm like, that's, it's so bizarre. So

23:10

listen, the stones don't travel at 80,

23:12

and, you know, they travel first class,

23:14

hold first, they don't even stay together.

23:16

They bring a fucking doctor with them

23:18

on the road. Yeah. He's shooting them

23:21

with testosterone, he's giving them gummies. You

23:23

know those when you could travel like

23:25

that, how would you travel? I'd have

23:27

somebody pull me in a cart Yeah,

23:30

if I could you know what I'm

23:32

saying if you laid that type of

23:34

money on the road, but When you

23:36

get old you realize you blew a

23:38

lot of fucking money I always like

23:41

IMDB I'm a big fan of going

23:43

in IMDB when somebody's rocking and rolling

23:45

and seeing all the people that paying

23:47

Attorney publishers this that it's like a

23:49

row of eight and nine people And

23:52

then when the show ends, give it

23:54

about a month and they get that

23:56

reality call from the account. Saying hey,

23:58

let me tell you something. I don't

24:00

know what you think you got, but

24:03

let me tell you what you got

24:05

and next week You see all those

24:07

people disappear the attorney the publicist they're

24:09

down a one fucking agent because you're

24:11

shooting the movie, but you're paying eight

24:14

people 10 to a 3% to an

24:16

attorney God knows how much to a

24:18

publicist 10 to a fucking agent and

24:20

15 to a manager But meanwhile everybody

24:22

thinks that we're walking around like teach

24:25

my speech that we just fucking had

24:27

a guy question me one time. Well

24:29

you made this on YouTube. I go,

24:31

do you know I have taxes? Do

24:33

you know I have commissions? You understand

24:36

all this, right? All. We didn't think

24:38

about that. Yeah. People have no fucking

24:40

idea what you make and what goes

24:42

out. I put everything on an Amex.

24:44

So my wife has to pay it

24:47

off at the end of very month.

24:49

Business expenses, restaurant, the ferry I took.

24:51

You know, and you look at that

24:53

now. compared to what I was blowing

24:55

in LA. Oh, Jesus. Holy shit. Three

24:58

weeks a month, first class tickets. Yeah.

25:00

There's that hotel for you, hotel for

25:02

the people that you bring them with

25:04

you. Because they don't give you money

25:06

for that in the theater. No. All

25:09

that shit. You're dropping $50K a month

25:11

on that. Yeah. I would see the

25:13

Amex bills and go, oh my God.

25:15

The expenses is what people don't see,

25:17

but do you have a podcast studio?

25:20

They even were taxing us on podcasting

25:22

L.A. Did you get that bill? No.

25:24

Yeah, like 18, fucking, they were taxing

25:26

us for something business thing. Really? Yeah,

25:29

we were getting hit for more fucking

25:31

over. Meanwhile you're thinking your Johnny Bistich,

25:33

you're buying dinners and fucking, like Ralphie

25:35

Mae before you punched the ticket, fucking

25:37

buying all the sushi out of place.

25:40

Ralphie Mae. I get bummed when I

25:42

see... I get bummed the other day

25:44

I was watching a video of him

25:46

so fucking funny and I go man

25:48

no one talks about him enough Like

25:51

don't he was so fucking good those

25:53

clips come up from time to time,

25:55

they're fucking really funny. Dude, I feel

25:57

bad. He didn't get this. He didn't

25:59

get to see this. He was doing,

26:02

he was doing, theaters before anyone was

26:04

doing, 20 years ago. Yeah, 20 years

26:06

ago, 2005, 2006, he started doing theaters.

26:08

And he had it down to a

26:10

fucking science. He was, he was the

26:13

first one of us with a tour

26:15

bus. Yeah, he had a tour bus,

26:17

that's right. You had a shotgun on

26:19

there and machine guns and oosies. It's

26:21

just weird to see, you know, when

26:24

we got to LA, we saw these

26:26

people who were rocking and rolling, like,

26:28

that's never going to be me. And

26:30

then all of a sudden, you start

26:32

seeing the people around you, blowing up.

26:35

And then one day, you just, I

26:37

don't know what happened. Like, that's what

26:39

I had to think about. What really

26:41

happened to me those 23 years. And

26:43

I think that when I left LA,

26:46

those stairs that day, I was like,

26:48

I'm not in the major leagues anymore.

26:50

That's for starters. We're not in the

26:52

major, I'm not in the major leagues.

26:54

I don't live in LA no more.

26:57

New York has a great comedy scene

26:59

or whatever, but I've already done that.

27:01

Yeah. For me to come, like I

27:03

wrestled with doing spots in the city

27:05

because it's like, I've already done the

27:08

club where I developed in there and

27:10

started, I don't want to do that

27:12

again. But I might have to I'm

27:14

gonna have to start coming over I

27:16

miss coming over here. Yeah, this is

27:19

fucking great It seems like it would

27:21

be a fucking pain in the god

27:23

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27:25

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29:49

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29:51

I guess I'll have a beer. I

29:53

love good parking. I don't like walking

29:55

with food in my stomach. Make friends.

29:57

Dude, I said to Leon, I will

30:00

not go to a restaurant if they

30:02

don't have good parking. I don't care

30:04

how hot the restaurant is. I need

30:06

valet or a huge parking lot. I

30:08

love good parking. I don't like walking

30:11

with food in my stomach. So that's

30:13

not going to happen. If I don't

30:15

park a truck, I'm not eating there.

30:17

Because I don't like taking that hike.

30:19

I fucking get sick. Like I just

30:22

hyperventilated some shit. I can't fucking do

30:24

it with food in my stomach or

30:26

steak. I don't want to walk. I'm

30:28

not fucking Lois and Clark. I don't

30:30

want to walk. I don't want to

30:33

walk. I'm not fucking Lewis and Clark.

30:35

I don't want to walk nowhere. I

30:37

want to walk nowhere. I want the

30:39

car right outside. I don't want somebody

30:41

sitting in my car. And I can

30:44

park up front and I won't go

30:46

there just because of the valet. You

30:48

know, when I used to go to

30:50

Dodger games, I'd buy that up front

30:52

parking. And you walk right in and

30:55

your tickets are right there. I love

30:57

all that shit. People invite me to

30:59

all these things here. I'm not walking

31:01

in Giant Stadium. Have you been to

31:03

Lincoln? Yankee Stadium? No. You'll be walking

31:06

from now to fucking Tuesday. I don't

31:08

want to do that walk. I want

31:10

to walk in, sit down, sit down,

31:12

and mind my my fucking business. Why

31:14

don't you include walking in it? Oh

31:17

wait, I have been to Yankee Stadium.

31:19

You walk fucking forever. Forever. Forever. And

31:21

I got dropped off in an Uber

31:23

and I still walk forever. No, forever.

31:25

I go to Philadelphia to watch a

31:28

game, you walk right in, you got

31:30

Italian ice, somebody calls you a car

31:32

and you're in Philadelphia. Like, thank you.

31:34

You know, everything else is a fucking

31:37

hike. I don't like it. They built

31:39

a mall. American mall here. You gotta

31:41

walk a mile in the parking lot

31:43

just to get to the mall and

31:45

then it's another two miles to get

31:48

something to eat. I don't need to

31:50

go there. I see stairs now and

31:52

I get fucking anxiety. Like I see

31:54

stairs and I'm like, this might not

31:56

happen. This might not happen. I'm not

31:59

in the mood. My knee hurts. You

32:01

know, I just started shooting the thing

32:03

in my knee again. So what's it?

32:05

Stem cells? No, I'm going to shoot

32:07

stem cells next month in Austin. I

32:10

just started shooting the BPC 157 Wolverine

32:12

in my knee because it was starting

32:14

to bother me. And it was great.

32:16

My knee was doing great. And then

32:18

I got sick. And those two and

32:21

a half weeks in the hospital for

32:23

some reason? The hospital? Yeah, I was

32:25

in the hospital for three fucking weeks

32:27

this year. Wait, what happened? I have

32:29

no fucking idea about it. They figured

32:32

it out it's called hypoxacy or some

32:34

shit where your lungs fill up with

32:36

liquid. Yeah. And you cannot breathe. I

32:38

mean, Doug, I'm not scared of anything.

32:40

This was scary. Really? So wait, were

32:43

you having a hard time breathing? It

32:45

started like in December. I thought it

32:47

was the mushrooms. I thought I'm like,

32:49

ah, well, when I eat mushrooms, my

32:51

heartbeats or something. And then I got

32:54

sick. And it was funny because I

32:56

said, you know what, I'm going to

32:58

stop smoking dope. Now you know me

33:00

a long time. And after New Year's,

33:02

I said, you know what, I'm wasting

33:05

my time with marijuana anymore. It's in

33:07

California. I got to be on a

33:09

website every night. My tolerance is off

33:11

the fucking charge, you know? So I'm

33:13

like, maybe I should give it a

33:16

break, well, a week later I got

33:18

the flu. And two days later, I

33:20

could not breathe. I mean, Bert, I

33:22

would get up here, 20 steps, and

33:24

I'd have to stop and fucking pee.

33:27

I mean, and it's not like Bert,

33:29

where's your bathroom? Oh, no, no, no.

33:31

I gotta take my dick. Right here,

33:33

right here, right now. I was terrible.

33:35

I would have to go home twice

33:38

and change my sweats and change my

33:40

sweats, and change my sweats, and... Yeah,

33:42

it was just a horrible experience. I

33:44

didn't know what was, I went to,

33:47

you know, erb, what is it? urgent

33:49

care young like you should check into

33:51

the hospital your oxygen levels low and

33:53

I'm like it's my daughter's birthday I

33:55

want to come home from school when

33:58

I'm in a fucking hospital that's no

34:00

birthday present to nobody so I waited

34:02

out for like two days then I

34:04

couldn't breathe I went in that time

34:06

they kept me for a week couldn't

34:09

figure out what it was they drained

34:11

my lungs how did they drain your

34:13

lungs today you know they don't light

34:15

light laces they give you a give

34:17

you a thing in your vein to

34:20

fucking take the water out of you

34:22

and you feel it immediately you're peeing

34:24

20 ounces a shot really those bottles

34:26

that they give you I was peeing

34:28

one every two hours I was filling

34:31

one of those things out everything comes

34:33

out and I dropped like 30 fucking

34:35

pounds for real yeah they took all

34:37

the fluid out of you jeez and

34:39

they would send me home but I

34:42

would do the same shit I go

34:44

home and start with the one-hitters and

34:46

then a week two weeks later I'm

34:48

having a hard time breathing Shit, and

34:50

I'm like, what the fuck is going

34:53

on? And does it feel like a

34:55

flu, like you're coughing and stuff, or

34:57

is it just, you're supposed to fill

34:59

up with luck and fluid? Just when

35:01

you walk, I would, or train? Oh

35:04

my God, it was to the point

35:06

where I would have to do like

35:08

a set of pull-downs and sit down.

35:10

My face is turning red. So after

35:12

the first hospital stay, they put that

35:15

thing in my veins and my arm.

35:17

and went to your heart and if

35:19

you need a stent or a fucking

35:21

balloon they put it in there when

35:23

I woke up and the doctor's like

35:26

joy I don't know what to tell

35:28

you you got a heart of a

35:30

bull you don't need anything I'm like

35:32

what the fuck is this then because

35:34

I kept thinking it was 27 years

35:37

of cocaine yeah something's gonna malfunction at

35:39

some point you know what I'm saying

35:41

I was starting to sound like RFK

35:43

I was all RFK it up and

35:46

shit I can't and then uh I

35:48

came home again, then I thought I

35:50

had diverticulitis. So I went back that

35:52

time, but diverticulitis, but it wasn't diverticitis.

35:54

And then I was like, fuck it,

35:57

I'm going to go home, I was

35:59

going to the gym, I'm eating good,

36:01

and fucking this time, that one week

36:03

was just brutal. And it was starting

36:05

to scare my wife. And if there's

36:08

something I don't like to do, it

36:10

would scare my wife. She's not from

36:12

that school. But I'm going to tell

36:14

you an example, the last three nights,

36:16

I would walk from my basement to

36:19

my bedroom, and I would have to

36:21

keel on the floor, like a pea.

36:23

run to the bathroom P and then

36:25

the walk to the bed was killing

36:27

me. And then I'd have to do

36:30

a little stings or treatment. The inhaler?

36:32

The inhaler with the fucking heat and

36:34

all that shit. Oh yeah. And I

36:36

had to get up in the middle

36:38

of my night to P. Oh boy

36:41

was at bed. Really? And that Thursday

36:43

Friday and Saturday. The Saturday night was

36:45

the worst. My blood pressure went up

36:47

to 212 over 110 and my oxygen

36:49

went down 86. It was 4 in

36:52

the morning. And I knew I had

36:54

to go to the doctor. I got

36:56

to go to the hospital, but I

36:58

didn't want to get the ambulance at

37:00

four in the morning in front of

37:03

my daughter. So I said, I'll just

37:05

go in the morning. And I went

37:07

the next morning, and that's when we

37:09

really, they did a nuclear blood test,

37:11

and they found out that I was

37:14

overloaded with fluid and blood cells, red

37:16

blood cells. Really? Because I did testosterone.

37:18

When Mercy was first born, I ended

37:20

up in the hospital. with too many

37:22

blood cells. So I knew what it

37:25

was. I was taking MK 677. It's

37:27

a peptide from recovery and sleep and

37:29

makes you hungry as fuck. But you

37:31

get fucking huge on that shit if

37:33

you start lifting. Yeah. And that stuff

37:36

is like a growth hormone. It makes

37:38

sure it mimics a growth hormone. It's

37:40

like my friend said, it's like Joe

37:42

Rogge and said, if you're gonna do

37:45

testosterone, do testosterone. You're gonna do it.

37:47

But don't do things that are gonna

37:49

stimulate that are gonna stimulate that. Yeah.

37:51

Because somewhere it's going to backfire and

37:53

it backfire for me and it would

37:56

drop a... it would do like an

37:58

insulin. drop. So my blood sugar would

38:00

go up, my blood pressure would go

38:02

up. So I got off that and

38:04

I haven't smoked again and I've been

38:07

fine. Really? So how long has it

38:09

been since you were, you went in

38:11

the hospital? Three weeks. Three weeks? I've

38:13

never fucking heard any of this. The

38:15

first time I put a picture up

38:18

and I got 9,000 calls. You know

38:20

what I'm saying? I'm like 9,000 calls

38:22

like you know and I'm like I

38:24

can't tell people I'm in the fucking

38:26

day. So I didn't want to tell

38:29

you Joey. So I didn't want to

38:31

tell people like, what do you do?

38:33

Take a picture with tubes and you

38:35

know, like look at me. I'm in

38:37

the hospital and then people like, oh,

38:40

get well. Get the fuck out of

38:42

it. You know, I'm gonna tell you,

38:44

I'm in the house. I'll tell you

38:46

when I get out. Yeah. Why am

38:48

I going to take pictures in the

38:51

hospital to embarrass you? Did you get

38:53

scared during that time? Those last three

38:55

nights were a little. Because now I

38:57

went from me just hyperventilating and couldn't

38:59

catch my breath and having a bad

39:02

panic attack To me sweating I was

39:04

starting to sweat and my face is

39:06

getting real fucking red And I'm like

39:08

this ain't good and my blood your

39:10

blood pressure is 212. Yeah, that never

39:13

ends well. That never fucking ends well

39:15

I said fuck it. I go I

39:17

went to a nutrition guy meeting fucking

39:19

I changed a lot of shit like

39:21

I had to eat a lot more

39:24

rougola for my blood pressure I had

39:26

a fucking and eating

39:28

that stuff and it's pretty fucking good

39:30

after two weeks that shit see shit

39:32

you get from the ocean and you

39:34

see weed like seaweed something else I

39:36

don't know what it's about it's like

39:39

it's like pretty intense and you tell

39:41

you like I got some stuff that's

39:43

blueberry flavored and strawberry flavor and you

39:45

fucking take it three times a day

39:47

forget it hard on's everything comes back

39:49

and that's what was crazy I was

39:51

really sick but I was really horny

39:54

That was fucking the weirdest thing like

39:56

I was never on and so I

39:58

went to the hospital. Yeah. And I

40:00

couldn't bang one out in the hospital

40:02

because I'm a captain. You can't bang

40:04

one out in the hospital. It's just

40:06

not right. You know. But I was

40:09

fucking super holy. I couldn't breathe. Like

40:11

even if I get pushy, I can't

40:13

get a piece of pussy. Because I

40:15

can't breathe. I just pump it one

40:17

time and I'd go spin out into

40:19

a panic attack. So, fuck it. It

40:21

was, those last three nights were like.

40:24

Joe you gotta do something with your

40:27

life, and I got up the next

40:29

one I had to do like three

40:31

bonnets I was already dead so I'm

40:34

gonna do three bonnets and I went

40:36

right to the hospital when I walked

40:38

in there were looking at me where

40:40

like you smoke a pot last night

40:43

and I did edibles in there you

40:45

brought your edibles in there you brought

40:47

your edibles in? Oh yeah mushrooms too

40:50

because how boring is it now the

40:52

first week I went in there sober

40:54

peat I fucked up, whether my blood

40:56

pressure would go up or my oxygen

40:59

would drop. And at one point, I

41:01

had like eight white doctors around me.

41:03

They were flabbergasted. What's going on? Why?

41:06

And I'm like, dog, I ate some

41:08

edibles. Now I know what happens to

41:10

your body. They were like, they called

41:13

every white person in that Hindus. They

41:15

had every smart person in that hospital.

41:17

And they were all sitting around me

41:19

going, we can't figure it out. And

41:22

I felt like telling, I got some

41:24

edibles in me, I got 400 milligrams

41:26

in me, I couldn't do it. Yeah,

41:29

you gotta have a good time in

41:31

that, because night gets kind of boring.

41:33

TV was great, I brought a computer,

41:35

I brought a bunch of books, I

41:38

tried to write now, you know, you

41:40

gotta feel, it's like doing a movie.

41:42

It's gonna suck if you don't bring

41:45

anything. You better bring TV, a couple

41:47

shots, a joint, a book, a computer,

41:49

a notebook, you know, you know, you

41:51

gotta bring everything on those sets. If

41:54

not it's fucking brutal, you know how

41:56

it is. Yeah, I gotta I gotta

41:58

clean up. I had a call with

42:01

Leon. I was I was hammered last

42:03

night. I was hammered. I had a

42:05

I was telling Pete. I couldn't understand

42:07

how it did and I figured it

42:10

out. A girl at the bar, hot

42:12

as shit, very sweet, uh, Costa Rican

42:14

chick. I guess walked me in my

42:17

room and I was like, I was

42:19

like, hey man, I'm married, you know,

42:21

she's just a good Samaritan and I

42:24

was so drunk, I couldn't find my

42:26

key, I didn't know what room I

42:28

was in and she was like, I'm

42:30

gonna get you to bed. And I

42:33

woke up thing as you wanted to

42:35

fuck me. She just got me to

42:37

my bed. I told her at the

42:40

door. I was like, it's not gonna

42:42

happen. And she's like, yeah, I know

42:44

But I talked to Leah this morning.

42:46

She's like, yo, when you come home,

42:49

you need to dry out. It's been

42:51

this press run's been rough on me.

42:53

How long has this run been? Two

42:56

weeks straight, but it's been you know,

42:58

I still do phoners to radio station

43:00

so I've been getting up at six

43:02

in the morning four in the morning

43:05

LA time doing call-ins until like 10,

43:07

then going to sleep, going and do

43:09

podcast. I'm ready to just stop podcasting.

43:12

Like I, if I could, I would,

43:14

I would love to put everything on

43:16

hold. You know, I've heard from like

43:18

three people now that I really respect.

43:21

That you should, you should put, that,

43:23

that podcasting is bad for stand up.

43:29

You think? You got lazy. Makes

43:31

us lazy. And I'm guilty. Before

43:33

I throw anybody under the bus,

43:35

I'm guilty of it. Because we

43:37

didn't know. I've heard Colin Quinn,

43:40

Louis CK, and the guy I

43:42

won't say, say, should stop podcasting

43:44

and focus on stand-up. They're like,

43:46

it's bad for stand-up. If you

43:48

listen to the last rogue and

43:51

I didn't, I told Rogan. I

43:53

just want to do stand up

43:55

without podcasting for one year. I'll

43:57

tell you why Mace is lazy.

43:59

And we've all done it in

44:02

our specials. We all do it

44:04

in our stand-up. We involve the

44:06

podcast. And what we don't know

44:08

is that special is on Netflix.

44:10

The people that are sitting in

44:13

the audience, they know what you're

44:15

talking about. But the people at

44:17

home, they don't know. So when

44:19

you're talking about whatever, those are

44:21

the people you need to worry

44:24

about. Who's... Who's the hottest comic

44:26

in America right now? Nate Pargazzi.

44:28

Nate Pargazzi, yeah. Nate said some

44:30

stuff that I heard on a

44:32

podcast. That was brilliant, and he

44:35

was right. We're not, we're not

44:37

doing comedy for the general public

44:39

anymore. As podcasters, and we all

44:41

fell into this, including myself, before

44:43

anybody goes, Joey. We include our

44:46

podcast and our stand-up, and that's

44:48

good and bad. It makes us

44:50

lazy. I mean, it makes us

44:52

lazy. opened our eyes to people.

44:54

Okay? I loved HBO, the boxing

44:57

show. Yeah, when they follow the

44:59

boxers? Yeah, because you could hate

45:01

somebody. You're like, I hate that

45:03

fucking dude. But then you find

45:05

out his wife died and he

45:08

raises four kids by himself. Yeah.

45:10

Way before he gets up at

45:12

four to go box. And he

45:14

comes back home, feeds him, puts

45:16

him on a bus. And then

45:18

he's there at 3. Then he

45:21

has to put him to sleep

45:23

and his sister has to come

45:25

home and watch the kids while

45:27

he goes to train 8 o'clock

45:29

at night. Yeah. After a full

45:32

day at UPS or whatever the

45:34

fuck they're doing. It makes you

45:36

love somebody and that's the same

45:38

thing podcasting did for us. It

45:40

showed, you know, when they see

45:43

you on stage, they think that's

45:45

it. Yeah. You're the end-all B-all.

45:47

They don't know that we have

45:49

a complete different life and that's

45:51

really an act. I

45:54

think with the podcast

45:56

we just involve it

45:58

too much. It's

46:01

our laziness. It's not the audience's

46:03

fault. It's not even our fault.

46:05

We didn't know. We did not

46:07

fucking know. So, and I told

46:09

this to Joe, I go, I

46:11

think that I'd like to try

46:13

it for a year, just stand

46:15

up. Yeah. No more podcasting, just

46:17

to eliminate that. Oh, you know

46:19

my story. We're, we're, we're, we're,

46:21

we're thinking that the audience knows

46:23

us, and they don't. Yeah, when

46:25

you do a show on Milwaukee,

46:27

that's one thing. When you do

46:29

a special on Netflix, you gotta

46:31

assume. You know, yeah, you, how

46:33

many people watch your specials so

46:35

far? Ten million? I don't know.

46:37

Five of those million didn't come

46:39

to your show. Definitely five of

46:41

those billion didn't come to myself.

46:43

So they were like, well, yeah,

46:45

that is crazy. Yeah, I guess

46:47

special Netflix probably pulls in, I'm

46:49

guessing 10 million. 10 million. Yeah,

46:51

and I'm definitely not selling 10

46:53

million tickets. No, but there are

46:55

new people who are watching you.

46:57

Yeah. It's like when somebody goes,

46:59

oh my God, I listened to

47:01

the church last week from the

47:03

beginning. Oh, they just discovered you.

47:05

And all this craziness, we thought

47:07

they knew who we were. No.

47:09

There's people that go to somebody's

47:11

house like you've seen this guy

47:13

and they go oh my god

47:15

I'm gonna watch that podcast in

47:17

the beginning You're like what the

47:19

fuck are you talking about? Yeah,

47:21

people that do that Adam Sandler

47:23

built a fucking A following that's

47:25

amazing. He got to you in

47:27

college. Yeah, I remember he got

47:29

to you in college. He got

47:31

to you in college. Yeah, Billy

47:33

Madison. He got to you in

47:35

college and then you follow them

47:37

all the way through Yeah, he's

47:39

still my guy. Yeah, he's still

47:41

your fucking guy. Yeah, I mean,

47:43

what the fuck are we talking

47:45

about here? Yeah, he did it.

47:47

So what we do that too?

47:49

Some new kid just picks up

47:51

an album one day because I

47:53

love this guy. He's calling you

47:55

up asking you creepy questions. You

47:57

know, on Facebook and you're like,

47:59

I've been around for 20 years.

48:01

Yeah, 30 years I've been doing

48:03

this shit. Now you, yeah, because

48:05

they're just learning who you are.

48:07

But absolutely, I agree with Colin,

48:09

I agree with Louis, I agree

48:11

with anybody else. I think that

48:13

we just, we play assume too

48:15

much. We assume. And those are

48:17

the people that are telling you

48:19

special. I'm like, who the fuck

48:21

is this? Who the fuck is

48:23

that? Yeah. I enjoy your special,

48:25

a lot. I cried at the

48:27

end because I knew Priscilla. That's

48:29

what my wife even said. She

48:31

goes, I never knew Priscilla died.

48:33

My wife was really upset. She

48:35

was crying and shit. My wife

48:37

was... That might be the best

48:39

reaction ever. Terry found out that

48:41

Priscilla died. She was crying at

48:43

the end. She was now he's

48:45

making me cry. I'm like, what

48:47

the fuck? And there's a good

48:49

special. I like how you include

48:51

everybody with dirty as fuck, which

48:53

was fucking great. Like you did

48:55

not give a fuck. The thing

48:57

about now that you can see

48:59

your dick because you lost weight,

49:01

that's so true, because people suck

49:04

your dick. You don't know who's

49:06

sucking your dick when you're chubby.

49:08

You just pray for the best.

49:10

You just pray for the best.

49:12

Like who's sucking my dick? I

49:14

have no idea. And you try

49:16

to look, but that guts in

49:18

the way. All you see is

49:20

like a forehead and an eyeball.

49:22

That's it. You're like, I don't

49:24

know what this person is. Even

49:26

the special we got a special

49:28

on Netflix every week now every

49:30

week every week. Chelsea's just dropped

49:32

today every week and There's so

49:34

much competition So now the special

49:36

has to be about something different

49:38

I man now the special has

49:40

to be about something different. It

49:42

can't be 30 can't be an

49:44

hour material. It's got to go

49:46

somewhere. Yeah. 32 minutes with a

49:48

fucking video at the end of

49:50

you singing the song. It's got

49:52

to be something completely different because

49:54

the special had been kind of

49:56

burnt out in a way. And

49:58

if you look at the older

50:00

specials, you see the new. newest

50:02

specials I don't know gave these

50:04

people permission to do what they

50:06

do because if you look at

50:08

the older specials which I really

50:10

enjoyed yeah they focused on you

50:12

from the way stop and that

50:14

was it the only one was

50:16

like Richard Pryor alive from the

50:18

Sunset Strip. Yeah, it was a

50:20

big shot, you know, but if

50:22

you look at the Lenny Bruce's

50:24

and all those older specials, it

50:26

was 100% on you. No audience.

50:28

And now it's got, now we

50:30

got spider cams coming in. And

50:32

we got spider cams and we

50:34

got all this shit and you

50:36

think it can make the special

50:38

look better, but I don't know.

50:40

I think it breaks, I think

50:42

that's why people can't watch this

50:44

fucking guy. I'll tell you what

50:46

I'll even take it further. I

50:48

missed you know what I miss

50:50

is Is is albums I remember

50:52

listening to David tells skanks for

50:54

the memories and going This is

50:56

perfect and it's perfect that I

50:58

can't see it because it played

51:00

to my imagination I've always love

51:02

live out I fucking love it's

51:04

a it's you know you put

51:06

on one of the richer pride

51:08

and what you hear in the

51:10

background or the red fox one.

51:12

Yeah when you hear beer cans

51:14

opening and... Oh, it's so lighter.

51:16

Cool. A lighter, lighting a cigarette.

51:18

Yeah. And they were... You could

51:20

see like Red Fox and... and

51:22

the other guy, Pryor, weren't ever

51:24

in a rush in those little

51:26

blue clubs. Yeah. You know, it

51:28

probably sat 200 bucks. Yeah. His

51:30

agent didn't call him and go,

51:32

you're wasting your time. You need

51:34

to be an 800 cedar. Yeah.

51:36

Yeah. Yeah. It was just as

51:38

pure as pure as a special

51:40

could be. Whether. I think two

51:42

of the early Carlin ones, like

51:44

an album I had, one of

51:46

the best is like Bob Newhart.

51:48

His albums are fucking great. Oh,

51:50

amazing. Amazing. And I like listening

51:52

to that, I like to hear

51:54

the album. going up and down,

51:56

skipping maybe. I missed that and

51:58

that's what I always wanted for

52:00

podcasting. Podcasting wasn't supposed to be

52:02

perfect. I love these guys with

52:04

the $22,000 studios. We're doing pirate

52:06

radio here. I loved the, can

52:08

I tell you what my favorite,

52:10

I miss? Do you remember Rogan

52:12

had that phone that would just

52:14

ring? in his office, you'd be

52:16

doing a podcast and just start

52:18

ring it. Yes, yeah, yeah. And

52:20

you'll go, you gonna get that?

52:22

And he goes, the line's dead.

52:25

I don't even know who the

52:27

fuck has that number. And you

52:29

hear it listening to a podcast

52:31

and then you do the podcast

52:33

and it would ring? Oh, I

52:35

love those old school. It was

52:37

like, it was like, my favorite

52:39

was when I had microphones. And

52:41

you would come on and you

52:43

get so excited you'd move the

52:45

microphone like this. Let me tell

52:47

you something. Do you remember the

52:49

time? I'll tell you what, I

52:51

may find this and repose this.

52:53

Just the audio. Do you remember

52:55

the time Ralphie came over and

52:57

he fell asleep? Oh my God.

52:59

And then he woke up and

53:01

he fell on the doll house

53:03

and crushed the doll house. Oh

53:05

my God. That

53:08

was such a surreal fucking night God

53:10

because Ralph he was going through a

53:12

hard time in his life and You

53:14

called me at seven You like Ralph

53:17

he'll be here at a quarter eight

53:19

ready to do a podcast. Do you

53:21

want to do it with him? I

53:23

go yeah, and you said you go

53:26

I don't know if he's gonna show.

53:28

Let's see where he goes I got

53:30

that a call today. We probably sat

53:32

there for an hour and a half,

53:34

where from? He kept saying, I'm on

53:37

a lower player, I'm on a lower

53:39

canyon player, I'll be right there, what

53:41

the fuck? And then he showed up

53:43

and he had the vapor pen. Yeah.

53:45

And he kept trying to sell us

53:48

that the vapor pen was fucking him

53:50

up and he would fall asleep. There's

53:52

no camera for this, but you'd be

53:54

telling a story and then you'd look

53:56

at Ralphie and you'd look at me

53:59

and you'd start, but you were still

54:01

telling. He's out of the fucking sleep.

54:03

And that was at 1130 at night.

54:05

We did like a two hour podcast.

54:08

Yeah. We got up. I'm high as

54:10

a fuck. I am high as a

54:12

fuck. Yeah. And we get up and

54:14

you and I are talking. We're walking

54:16

and Ralph. He's supposedly there with us.

54:19

And all of a sudden, you hear.

54:21

And we're like, what happened? Ralphie fell

54:23

on the fucking dollhouse. He was laid

54:25

out in the doll. Get me out

54:27

of here. We had to

54:30

lift him up. We lifted him up

54:32

and I could not laugh in his

54:34

face because it would have broken his

54:36

heart We were and we and you

54:38

got him to the car and You

54:40

called me and you go he crushed

54:42

the dollhouse. Oh my god We were

54:44

crying laughing sometimes laugh to get stuck

54:46

in your lungs like you cannot laugh

54:48

and I held him then we got

54:50

to the car. He wanted to talk

54:52

about whatever I'm like I don't want

54:54

to talk Ralphie I have to go

54:56

let this laugh out of my chest

54:58

And finally he got in the car.

55:01

I didn't see that doll house. It

55:03

was always an excuse. I can't keep

55:05

smoking this reefer. The cheapo chews. He

55:07

was blaming everything. And I'll never forget

55:09

getting in the car, going around the

55:11

corner, and there's a subway right there.

55:13

It was 11th day and night. Everything

55:15

was closed on Lower Canyon. And I

55:17

just had to sit there and let

55:19

that laughter out. And I must have

55:21

laughed for 20 fucking minutes. Because I

55:23

could not. That was the list I

55:25

fell with him one time on sunset.

55:27

He fell with me. Yeah, same thing

55:29

We get out of his car and

55:31

we're talking. Yeah, yeah, blah I slammed

55:33

the door and we're like, yeah, yeah

55:35

next thing you know, I'm like, what

55:37

a fuck is Ralphie? I look over

55:40

He's out on the street on Schrader.

55:42

No Whatever the fuck that street was

55:44

Gardner. Yeah, there's a fire department right

55:46

there and it's sunset. There's the there's

55:48

a guitar sign and all that shit

55:50

and all that shit He's laying on

55:52

his back on his back on the

55:54

metal bar You know how they make

55:56

a hole and they like they fix

55:58

the street and they put a metal

56:00

on? time of the street to cover

56:02

it and it's got that half inch

56:04

that's what he hit with his foot

56:06

and he just fell and went on

56:08

his back and I'm trying to pick

56:10

him up and I'm like Ralphie get

56:12

up and he's like I can't play

56:14

I can't and I'm trying to pick

56:17

him up and finally I'm like Ralphie

56:19

I'm not doing this because they think

56:21

I'm mugging you. People are already starting

56:23

to pull up and go what's that

56:25

kid doing to him because he's on

56:27

the floor and I'm trying to try

56:29

to pick him up. I'm trying to

56:31

pick him up. I'm trying to pick

56:33

him up. I'm trying to pick him

56:35

up. I'm trying to pick him up.

56:37

I'm trying to pick him up. I'm

56:39

trying to pick him up. I'm trying

56:41

to pick him up. I'm trying to.

56:43

I'm trying to. I'm trying to pick

56:45

him. I'm trying to. I'm trying to

56:47

pick him, I'm trying to pick him,

56:49

I'm trying to pick him, I'm trying

56:51

to pick He's like, what's going on?

56:54

I can't get this guy up. He's

56:56

like, fuck you. I get up. I

56:58

just hurt my ankle. You didn't hurt

57:00

your ankle, anything? Not to say he

57:02

just fell. Yeah. And I remember picking

57:04

him up for weeks, torturing him about

57:06

that, like Ralphie. Can't keep fall on

57:08

the street. I chipped over the thing

57:10

on the street and shit like that.

57:12

But that dollhouse night was something that

57:14

I'll never forget. I'll never ever forget

57:16

how funny he was. In the doss

57:18

he was all crinkled up. Oh like

57:20

he was all on his stomach and

57:22

it and it flattened it It flattened

57:24

it and we were laughing. I remember

57:26

when you called me after you put

57:28

him in the car We I had

57:30

held it in and I fucking was

57:33

standing in the backyard crying laughing Did

57:35

you ever see him fall on Kimmel?

57:37

No He fell walking out on Kimmel

57:39

on Kimmel on Kimmel on the stairs

57:41

to do stand up. I don't know

57:43

where I saw the clip, but man.

57:45

Dude, he was, you know, it bumps

57:47

me out because you see those clips.

57:49

I don't think, he really doesn't get

57:51

the credit he deserves. No, he never

57:53

did. He never got, I mean, he

57:55

says, he said things. Do you remember

57:57

he had that bit about fat bastard?

57:59

And he goes, oh, that's funny to

58:01

you. Oh, I see black people laughing.

58:03

What if we have black bastard? I'm

58:05

talking a man so dark, you throw

58:07

salt in his face, it looks like

58:10

deep space. What about Mexicanized bastard, a

58:12

grown man with baby teeth? A grown

58:14

man with baby teeth? How are you

58:16

going to be a grown man with?

58:18

He was so fucking... His, my favorite

58:20

bit he ever did was the, uh,

58:22

uh, uh, uh, girls, you don't want

58:24

big dick? Leaving your pussy looking like

58:26

a, uh, horse reaching for a sugar

58:28

cube? He was impossible to follow. He

58:30

was so likable. And he was such

58:32

a good guy. Such, such a good

58:34

guy. Like people will never understand that

58:36

about him. How many people he helped?

58:38

How many people, he just gave money

58:40

to out of his pocket, you know?

58:42

I mean he treated me like a

58:44

fucking king. He would come back on

58:46

Mondays with a huge yellow Manila envelope

58:49

filled cash. He would take me to

58:51

a weed store and go buy whatever

58:53

the fuck you want. Meanwhile, he was

58:55

spending two three G's at a weed

58:57

store in the beginning. Where they would

58:59

come in, they go, we don't want

59:01

nobody else in here. Ralph, he had

59:03

that type of pull at the weed

59:05

stores already. We were going to Cush-mart.

59:07

And they would know. And they would

59:09

know. The owner, I would call the

59:11

owner and say, Rob, I'm going to

59:13

be there for 15 minutes. All right,

59:15

I'll leave the back room open for

59:17

him. Because he was going in there

59:19

and dropping two, three thousand dollars, and

59:21

then he would put it in his

59:23

fat. I mean, he would take the

59:26

bags of ounces and put it in

59:28

his fat and get on a plane.

59:30

And then he got caught in one

59:32

with the weed and the dog dying.

59:34

Oh, and then he got carried off

59:36

the boat. He got sick on the

59:38

last, I think it. I think I

59:40

saw him, I think I saw him

59:42

before this, but one of the last

59:44

times I saw him he was on

59:46

cowhead screws. And he did not leave

59:48

the bed. He was in the bed

59:50

the whole time. And he was like,

59:52

ah, player, I'm going through, I'm tired,

59:54

I'm just so tired, I'm not smoking,

59:56

I'm not eating. And then the Indian

59:58

guy that worked like the... whatever the

1:00:00

bellman or whatever the guy that would

1:00:03

like check our rooms the maid Indian

1:00:05

guy goes mr. Ralphie is lying mr.

1:00:07

Ralphie eats everything and he's like shut

1:00:09

up Poon Jam! It was, and he

1:00:11

would go, Mr. Burt, get Mr. Ralphie

1:00:13

out of bed. Get Mr. Ralphie out

1:00:15

of bed. We'd get him out of

1:00:17

bed and he, and then he did,

1:00:19

the only time he got out of

1:00:21

bed is to do stand up. And

1:00:23

man, he goes, he was like, why

1:00:25

don't you close the show, Bert? And

1:00:27

I was like, okay. And he was

1:00:29

funny, he was the likability. It was

1:00:31

like following Damarur back in the day.

1:00:33

He was so likable that you were

1:00:35

going to bomb whether he bombed or

1:00:37

not. You were going to bomb because

1:00:39

he was very likable and that's a

1:00:42

Ralphie. And let me tell you something.

1:00:44

He had a great sense of humor.

1:00:46

Like a thing that nobody knows is

1:00:48

these be a club called spell binders.

1:00:50

The improv is there now. Well binders

1:00:52

is a big time Houston club. It

1:00:54

was run by a lady named Kim

1:00:56

Carnes. It

1:00:58

was one of those clubs. The Houston

1:01:00

improv wasn't there yet. It was just

1:01:02

the lap stop, lap spot. The last

1:01:04

stop, the last spot, and then it

1:01:06

was that club. Yeah. They had four

1:01:09

big clubs at one time. I start

1:01:11

calling them, you know, like anybody else,

1:01:13

I'll get that away and I'm calling

1:01:15

them every week high. I like to

1:01:17

play your club. I'm in Houston at

1:01:19

this club. I like the car, send

1:01:21

the tape. I ain't sending the tape.

1:01:23

This one out for about six months.

1:01:26

And all of a sudden I call

1:01:28

her one day, Kim, or Lynn, whatever

1:01:31

her name was, and I go, I

1:01:33

didn't get claimants to do this. I

1:01:35

dropped Ralphie's name. I go, Ralphie's a

1:01:38

dear friend, and he said to give

1:01:40

you a call, and it was silence.

1:01:42

Silence. Silence. She goes, okay, let me

1:01:45

think about, and I'll pull you back.

1:01:47

Okay. About a month late, I got

1:01:49

a couple of lines in me. I'm

1:01:51

by Ralphie's at night laughing with him,

1:01:54

with him, and I'm with him, and...

1:01:56

I said, Ralphie, I hope. I called

1:01:58

the spell button. and gave me a

1:02:01

name and he's like, no you didn't

1:02:03

play it. And I'm like, yeah. He

1:02:05

goes, man, I sued him. I go,

1:02:08

why are you suing him? He goes,

1:02:10

because I fell through the stage. They

1:02:12

didn't fix the stage. And then somebody

1:02:15

told me the story that Ralphie's up

1:02:17

there bouncing, and the fucking stage went

1:02:19

right down. He felt right through the

1:02:22

stage in front of 200 people. All

1:02:24

you saw was a little head coming

1:02:26

up from the stage. So Ralphie sued

1:02:29

him. And all of a

1:02:31

sudden he's telling me that, he went

1:02:33

through the, but people were in the

1:02:35

apartment. All the friends from Houston, they

1:02:37

were saying, the stage wasn't broken, you

1:02:39

broke in the, fuck you, I sued

1:02:41

them, didn't know I won. He got

1:02:44

on stage with me in Nashville one

1:02:46

time, took his shirt off and started

1:02:48

dancing. There's a picture of me and

1:02:50

him shirtless on stage. I was driving

1:02:52

to go, I was driving. I had

1:02:54

to drive to Atlanta, I drive to

1:02:56

Georgia and see the girls, the girls

1:02:59

were over at the lake house. And

1:03:01

I was driving from Nashville to Bowden

1:03:03

and my phone rang and it was

1:03:05

Joe and he goes, how dare you?

1:03:07

I shouldn't have to see that fucking

1:03:09

picture. He goes, I'm gonna make you

1:03:11

start putting your shirt on if I

1:03:14

gotta see Ralphie with his shirt off.

1:03:16

Oh, you know Ralphie had like. I

1:03:18

had a friend. I'm still friends with

1:03:20

the guy. 20 years ago, we're still

1:03:22

friends. I just saw him about a

1:03:24

year ago at a comedy club. He

1:03:26

used to have a hot little girlfriend.

1:03:29

I mean, hot. And you could see

1:03:31

she was hot to try. She'd always

1:03:33

come to me. Uncle Joey, Uncle Joey.

1:03:35

Okay. How are you doing? Nice to

1:03:37

see you. I'm not going to head

1:03:39

on her. Whenever she was too young

1:03:41

anyway. They ended up breaking up. And

1:03:43

one night this girl breaking. I'm in

1:03:46

Hollywood doing stand up and I'm stuck.

1:03:48

I'm... No money to get home. Somebody

1:03:50

stole my purse. And I go, well,

1:03:52

I'm broke, but I got 10 bucks

1:03:54

for you to get you home. And

1:03:56

I said, I'm at the comedy store.

1:03:58

I go meet me up in front.

1:04:01

My intentions were good. I knew this

1:04:03

girl. She was young. When I go

1:04:05

to give her 10 bucks, this bitch

1:04:07

whips her leg open and shows me

1:04:09

a little song. Okay, I gave her

1:04:11

the 10 bucks. I didn't say none.

1:04:13

I go home. About three months later,

1:04:16

I'm doing a room up in Pasadena,

1:04:18

but they always have those one-nighters, pick

1:04:20

up like a hundred bucks, and she

1:04:22

was there. And she was again, like,

1:04:24

the shirt was dripping, her tit was

1:04:26

coming out, and she's trying to tell

1:04:28

me she needs money for this or

1:04:31

that. I gave it twenty bucks, whatever.

1:04:33

I don't hear from her. And one

1:04:35

night I got a call in my

1:04:37

house. I'll never forget, it's a Sunday

1:04:39

night, and it's this girl. I need

1:04:41

to talk to talk to, I need

1:04:43

you, I need you out. And I

1:04:46

go, what is that? And she goes,

1:04:48

I got a movie? It's SAG, but

1:04:50

they want me to pay SAG. It's

1:04:52

$2,500. Now at the time between you

1:04:54

and I, I got $22.50 in the

1:04:56

bank. And that's it. I'm talking about

1:04:58

$22. Yeah. She needs $2,500. So I'm

1:05:00

like, let me play this hand for

1:05:03

a minute. This chick has always been

1:05:05

kind of freaky. Yeah. My wife's in

1:05:07

the other room. If I lend you

1:05:09

to 2,500, how are you going to

1:05:11

pay me back? And she goes, well,

1:05:13

once the movie shoots, I go, so

1:05:15

the movie is three days. That's 600

1:05:18

a day. That's 18. After the Tax

1:05:20

and Commission, that's 1211. How are you

1:05:22

going to pay me back? I mean,

1:05:24

I want you to have some money.

1:05:26

And she goes, I don't know. Maybe

1:05:28

I can make payments. It'll scratch that.

1:05:30

Let's just way that. And what do

1:05:33

I have to do? I go, what

1:05:35

do you think you have to do?

1:05:37

You have to fuck and suck? Well,

1:05:39

have a great time. She goes, but

1:05:41

you'll give me the $2,500. I'll give

1:05:43

it to you before we can start.

1:05:45

We'll meet at the Four Seasons and,

1:05:48

uh, Marina Del Ray. Okay, again, I

1:05:50

got $22 on my pocket. I'm in

1:05:52

no danger. Yeah. She says, okay, let

1:05:54

me make some plans and I'll get

1:05:56

a car and I'll meet you up

1:05:58

there. I forget all about it. I'm

1:06:00

talking to my wife, I mean, then

1:06:02

also my phone rings, it's Ralphie. And

1:06:05

Ralphie is like, where you at playing,

1:06:07

I'm outside, let's go. I go, what

1:06:09

are you doing outside? I guess I

1:06:11

because I came home early, because I

1:06:13

came home early, because I came home

1:06:15

early, because I came home early, because

1:06:17

I came home early, because I came

1:06:20

home early, I came home early, but,

1:06:22

but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

1:06:24

but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

1:06:26

but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

1:06:28

but, but, but, but, but, but, but,

1:06:30

but, but, but, but, I run downstairs,

1:06:32

I get in the car with Ralphie,

1:06:35

he wants to go do this, he

1:06:37

wants to go get sushi and Beverly,

1:06:39

and as we're leaving, the phone rings.

1:06:41

And it's that girl. And I go,

1:06:43

Ralphie, pull over. And I give Ralphie

1:06:45

to low down real quick, I go,

1:06:47

don't say a word. I go, what's

1:06:50

going on? And she goes, well, I

1:06:52

really thought about it, and I'll meet

1:06:54

you gonna have the money, right? Maybe

1:06:57

you can suck my dick. Maybe you

1:06:59

know and she goes Hold on. I

1:07:01

don't like giving head. I go listen

1:07:03

to 2,500 You're gonna have to eat

1:07:05

she goes, but what if I don't

1:07:07

want to do that? I'll fuck you.

1:07:09

I go well I want to light

1:07:11

your ass. Hold on fire That's how

1:07:13

I light your ass. Hold on fire

1:07:16

and she goes. I'll call you right

1:07:18

back And Ralphie's fucking dying in the

1:07:20

car. He's like, I can't believe you

1:07:22

said that to her. She calls back

1:07:24

like 20 minutes later. She goes, I

1:07:26

got my uncle to lend me the

1:07:28

money. When I told her I was

1:07:30

in a lighter ass, oh, I'm fire.

1:07:32

She went fucking AWOL. And me and

1:07:35

Ralph, he died for fucking, like, he

1:07:37

just had a different sense of humor

1:07:39

for somebody from the South. Yeah. I

1:07:41

always hit it off from him. When

1:07:43

I first met him, he was living

1:07:45

on Joyie Medina's futon, Joey Medina's futon.

1:07:47

And he broke it up by vine

1:07:49

up there, vine off of fucking Santa

1:07:51

Monica. He would just sit there and

1:07:54

he cooked for everybody. That was always

1:07:56

a great cook. He was a great

1:07:58

cook. And if he... He had something

1:08:00

he gave you half. Oh, that's the

1:08:02

way he always came over. He came

1:08:04

over he came over to the house

1:08:06

one time with the family. August was

1:08:09

strong as fucking shit. I have

1:08:11

a picture somewhere a video of

1:08:13

August holding a fucking six lifting

1:08:15

up a 60 pound kettle bell.

1:08:17

He was like in diapers and

1:08:19

Ralphie came over and he's like,

1:08:21

uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, play with.

1:08:23

I'm gonna make some barbecue, we'll bring the family

1:08:25

together. And I was like, great. And he made

1:08:28

the best god damn barbecue. And he made his

1:08:30

own barbecue sauce. Yeah, he made his own sauce.

1:08:32

And it was so good. His sister came

1:08:34

out to one of my shows on fully loaded. And

1:08:36

she made, she pickled a bunch of like, made a

1:08:38

bunch of pickles and and like, pickled some

1:08:41

vegetables and and made some vegetables and

1:08:43

made some vegetables and made some

1:08:45

vegetables some vegetables and made some

1:08:47

vegetables and made some vegetables some

1:08:49

vegetables vegetables and made some vegetables

1:08:52

and made some vegetables. Dude that

1:08:54

food was in that fucking family.

1:08:56

The pickles Joey are like hamburger

1:08:59

size. They're so fucking thick

1:09:01

and they're so good. Oh man. I

1:09:03

miss him a lot. I do too. As

1:09:05

a stand-up comic I miss him. I

1:09:07

think when he died some of the

1:09:09

class went out in stand-up comedy

1:09:12

because he was really a classy

1:09:14

guy. Yeah. He really did his

1:09:16

best to be a classy guy on

1:09:18

all levels. He ran into whatever he

1:09:20

ran into in the end. But I

1:09:23

miss him like that when I see

1:09:25

those clips. I go Jesus Christ the

1:09:27

damage you would be doing today. Oh

1:09:29

my god the damage you would be

1:09:31

doing remember that that was a 20

1:09:33

year run He won last comic

1:09:35

what 2007? He lost he lost

1:09:37

he came in second he really won

1:09:39

He really won. Yeah, oh, yeah, he

1:09:41

did, but he lost and you know,

1:09:43

I was supposed to open for him

1:09:45

and he used him, but I got

1:09:48

Spider-man too Yeah, so I was 2003.

1:09:50

What am I saying? Yeah, it was

1:09:52

2003 because Georgia was born in 2004.

1:09:54

I did last comic standing too,

1:09:57

which was 2004. Okay. And yeah,

1:09:59

Georgia. It premiered, last comic standing

1:10:01

premiered on June 7th 2004 because I

1:10:03

was in the hospital holding Georgia watching

1:10:06

me on last comic standing too. Wow.

1:10:08

Yeah. And I was like, man, thank

1:10:10

God I didn't get on fucking the

1:10:13

last time of comic standing. I would

1:10:15

have fucking ruined me Joey. I would

1:10:17

have been, I would have never become

1:10:19

a good comic. I just would have

1:10:22

been that guy who had 10 minutes

1:10:24

and thought was... did whatever he thought

1:10:26

America thought he should do oh that

1:10:29

you know it's crazy like the little

1:10:31

blessings but yeah Ralphie man he was

1:10:33

just uh I really do miss him

1:10:35

and I miss him I miss a

1:10:38

lot of people stand up there was

1:10:40

a lot of good people we should

1:10:42

call him and see who has his

1:10:45

phone now no I don't call I

1:10:47

still got his number in there I've

1:10:49

never erased it yeah We lost a

1:10:52

lot of good people to comedy, you

1:10:54

know, over the years. And it's like

1:10:56

the comedy store. I love the comedy

1:10:58

store, but I can't walk in there

1:11:01

anymore. Because the piano player's not there.

1:11:03

God, I forgot. And that's my boy.

1:11:05

That was always my boy, whether he

1:11:08

was gay, or whatever. Yeah, he had

1:11:10

a heart attack. But he was a

1:11:12

unique dude. He made my career because

1:11:15

he's the one that said Joey dance.

1:11:17

Well, then dance. I'll play music for

1:11:19

you. And I'll play music for you.

1:11:21

And he was, I saw you dancing

1:11:24

the other day in the hallway, you

1:11:26

had me killing me. Dance up there.

1:11:28

And I was just out, we started

1:11:31

dancing. God. You know, he was just,

1:11:33

there was just too many people that,

1:11:35

I don't know, I don't know, it's,

1:11:38

but I do Miss Ralphie, I miss

1:11:40

Marilyn Martinez. I know her. She was

1:11:42

a comedy store chick, she's doing that

1:11:44

told me how to stop snoring Coke.

1:11:47

In the middle of a conversation, we

1:11:49

were talking and she looked at me

1:11:51

and she goes, God wants you to

1:11:54

stop snort and cook. I was like,

1:11:56

that's the creepiest thing I've ever heard.

1:11:58

But she never talked to. me about

1:12:00

my drug addiction so for that knife

1:12:03

I'd rather say that it blew me

1:12:05

the fuck away wow well I'm glad

1:12:07

you're doing better with the fucking lung

1:12:10

shit that's scary as fuck I learned

1:12:12

a lot from Ralphie yeah Ralphie was

1:12:14

very stand-up conscious more than anybody else

1:12:17

at the time when he told when

1:12:19

he wore the yellow jacket bigger and

1:12:21

blacker yeah I asked him why he

1:12:23

wore it he wore it And he

1:12:26

goes, because if they're watching TV, they're

1:12:28

going to stop when they see that

1:12:30

yellow jacket. There were so many little

1:12:33

things he already knew. You know, you

1:12:35

got to remember, he was blowing up

1:12:37

fucking stages when nobody knew who he

1:12:40

was getting $200 and I saw it.

1:12:42

I saw him going, I would go,

1:12:44

fuck, when that guy starts hitting, it's

1:12:46

going to be scary. It's going to

1:12:49

be scary. And what? I was right.

1:12:51

I was fucking right. When he started

1:12:53

hitting. It was destroying him. We used

1:12:56

to torture him because in the beginning

1:12:58

when I first met him, I would

1:13:00

go, how'd you do it? And he'd

1:13:03

go play it. I got a stand

1:13:05

ovation. I made out with three chicks.

1:13:07

And then as the every night he

1:13:09

took somebody with him, the girl would

1:13:12

always go. You didn't make out with

1:13:14

three chicks. And then as the every

1:13:16

night he took somebody with him, the

1:13:19

girl would always go. You didn't make

1:13:21

out with her. And we would just

1:13:23

torture him. I did, I did, again,

1:13:26

I think I have four and I

1:13:28

figured the one girl. You know, he

1:13:30

was fucking one, one, the freepiest thing

1:13:32

ever happened with me and him. Because

1:13:35

I think he did San Francisco. Did

1:13:37

you do San Francisco? Did you do

1:13:39

it? Did you ever do it? I

1:13:42

quit? I quit the second night. Oh,

1:13:44

I've never, I never could have done

1:13:46

it and I would have been horrible.

1:13:48

I'm like, this is a fucking nightmare,

1:13:51

but. I bet he would have done

1:13:53

that, yeah. Yeah, I think he did.

1:13:55

I think he did. Because I remember

1:13:58

doing one of the gigs with him

1:14:00

and we're getting on the elevator and

1:14:02

his keys fell. a little hole on

1:14:05

the floor and this only happened to

1:14:07

Ralphie the keys fell in that fucking

1:14:09

hole and we couldn't leave he had

1:14:11

to get a locksmith to come fucking

1:14:14

open up the elevator the elevator guy

1:14:16

had to come oh for real and

1:14:18

get his fucking keys or not he

1:14:21

had to make him was a fucking

1:14:23

nightmare and I'm a man going man

1:14:25

I only made two and all this

1:14:28

locksman once 250 or something he was

1:14:30

like we were fucking just struggling yeah

1:14:32

and it's so weird how I was

1:14:34

in Vegas one time opening for Joe

1:14:37

This has to be 1998. He was

1:14:39

just wrapping up news radio. Yeah. And

1:14:41

we were doing the Riviera. The Riviera

1:14:44

had that dirty show. Yeah. On Friday

1:14:46

and Saturday night. And I'm in on

1:14:48

the flight there on Southwest, slashes on

1:14:51

the plane. Like, well, that's so fucking

1:14:53

weird, slashes on the plane. I was

1:14:55

98. They weren't really touring at the

1:14:57

time. I don't know what guns and

1:15:00

rows were doing. When we got to

1:15:02

Vegas. I did the show with Joe

1:15:04

and then like I want I couldn't

1:15:07

sleep so I went to walk around

1:15:09

and I saw slash. He goes, hey,

1:15:11

how you doing? How you doing man?

1:15:13

He goes, I know you're from the

1:15:16

store right? I go, yeah, your friend's

1:15:18

with Chewy and we just started talking.

1:15:20

And I don't know how we got

1:15:23

on the conversation. He goes, once... You

1:15:26

make it you start doubting and it's

1:15:28

not really a struggle anymore But I

1:15:30

want you to remember these times when

1:15:32

you struggled When you didn't have money

1:15:35

for cigarettes when you you know didn't

1:15:37

have money for hotel Because this is

1:15:39

the shit that makes you And a

1:15:41

lot of people don't What's the word

1:15:44

I'm trying to use they don't process

1:15:46

this yeah, this is you have to

1:15:48

keep this with you every day the

1:15:51

struggle that you did. It's not about

1:15:53

Lamborghinis and private planes That struggle has

1:15:55

to, that's what keeps me alive. That

1:15:57

little struggle, knowing that, you know, I

1:16:00

had a break. to some of these

1:16:02

houses to sleep on the road one

1:16:04

time. Yeah. Like I was walking, the

1:16:07

place didn't have a hotel. And I

1:16:09

took a bus there. And I still

1:16:11

remember like the bus wasn't coming until

1:16:13

eight in the morning. It's four. And

1:16:16

I'm walking around, it's freezing. And there

1:16:18

was a guy who had like a

1:16:20

little fucking window and I just broke

1:16:22

him there and put a garbage bag

1:16:25

on top of me and slept until

1:16:27

the bus camp. I still honor that.

1:16:29

I still think about that memory and

1:16:32

go, wow. And I got on the

1:16:34

bus like nothing happened and went to

1:16:36

the next time and picked up my

1:16:38

50 fucking dollars You know God. Yeah,

1:16:41

it's those struggle the struggle is I

1:16:43

remember Ralph he said to me one

1:16:45

time He said my first special comfortably

1:16:48

dumb was coming out and he said

1:16:50

He's like player You better hope for

1:16:52

a snowstorm. I said why it was

1:16:54

in February. I think it came out

1:16:57

in February pay for a snowstorm birche

1:16:59

He goes, my special came out and

1:17:01

there was a blizzard and the numbers

1:17:04

are through the roof. Everyone's in the

1:17:06

house. And he goes, you don't want

1:17:08

rain. Rain takes out the electricity. You

1:17:10

want snow. And when Hey Big Boy

1:17:13

came out on Netflix, I wanted to

1:17:15

text him so bad because Hey Big

1:17:17

Boy came out three days after stay

1:17:19

at home orders. And I was like,

1:17:22

Ralphie, I got better than a snowstorm.

1:17:24

The entire country is forced to be

1:17:26

inside. And my special just dropped. I

1:17:29

remember hearing Ralphie's voice in my head

1:17:31

going, oh shit, a pandemic. A pandemic

1:17:33

better than a snowstorm player? God. So

1:17:35

what are your plans now that? For

1:17:38

the rest of you, I know you

1:17:40

got a tour coming, it's not huge,

1:17:42

right? No, it's big. How long was

1:17:45

this last? It's, uh... It starts in

1:17:47

September and it'll be, I'm going abroad

1:17:49

with it and it's arenas. So yeah,

1:17:51

I'm doing Red Rocks again. You should

1:17:54

come out and do Red Rocks with

1:17:56

me. Yeah, I do Red Rocks. It's

1:17:58

been a while, yeah, it's been a

1:18:01

while. That's such a great fucking place.

1:18:03

Dude, I fuck, it's my favorite place.

1:18:05

It's my favorite place. It's my favorite

1:18:07

venue. The world, the world. Come out

1:18:10

and do Red Rocks. I used to

1:18:12

go, I used to go see bands

1:18:14

there. Yeah. And I was always like

1:18:16

blown the fuck away when I would

1:18:19

go to how beautiful it was. Yeah,

1:18:21

I'll come out with you, because I

1:18:23

got a buncha, I'm picking up some

1:18:26

dates. in the fall. Two dates a

1:18:28

month, yeah. Casino, shit like that. God,

1:18:30

that would be great to have you

1:18:32

out there. Um... Yep. October 1st. Yeah.

1:18:35

It's a Wednesday. Okay. Yeah. October 1st.

1:18:37

Red Rocks. I gotta go out there.

1:18:39

I miss Colorado. Yeah. I can't convince

1:18:42

the girls to go out there with

1:18:44

me. It's killing me. Joe was just

1:18:46

there. Two months ago and he was...

1:18:48

I just miss it. I just want

1:18:51

the girls to see. Oh yeah, I

1:18:53

was talking to you on the phone

1:18:55

when he was out there. Yeah, and

1:18:57

he was out there. Yeah. I want

1:19:00

the girls to see where God's land.

1:19:02

That's what I call it. I'll tell

1:19:04

you what. We do it right when

1:19:07

we do Colorado. I'll have land, reach

1:19:09

out to Terry, and we'll set it

1:19:11

up. It'll be, it's so fun. How

1:19:13

do you do it? We get these,

1:19:16

we run out a whole, a whole

1:19:18

hotel that's all on a river that's

1:19:20

all on a river. And we ran

1:19:23

out the whole hotel and everyone's there.

1:19:25

It's so fucking great Joey It's so

1:19:27

great. I need I need a couple

1:19:29

days in Colorado Yeah, okay. Let's say

1:19:32

I'm excited for Red Rocks We were

1:19:34

thinking about where to go in August

1:19:36

and I'm like Colorado's just not I

1:19:39

mean you want to see it in

1:19:41

the summertime Yeah, but you also want

1:19:43

to see it in the winter walk.

1:19:45

Yeah, you know I love all that

1:19:48

shit like I would start nasping and

1:19:50

take them back down independence past because

1:19:52

that only opens that only opens three

1:19:54

months a year, three and a half

1:19:57

months a year. And you better catch

1:19:59

it by mid-September if not you're fucking

1:20:01

done. God, Colorado's so fucking beautiful. And

1:20:04

I was gonna move to that, Merritt.

1:20:06

I was already moved there, I was

1:20:08

going to move to the other slope,

1:20:10

Grand Junction, towards there. I was going

1:20:13

to go away from Aspen, Telly Wright.

1:20:15

That's why I wanted to move. Wow.

1:20:17

And I saw a couple of houses,

1:20:20

but I could afford, the problem was,

1:20:22

it's fucking, there was not going to

1:20:24

be school for a year. There was

1:20:26

clothes, I was moving there in the

1:20:29

pandemic, that had already said, no school,

1:20:31

at least January, I remember the whole

1:20:33

year. I can't have her in the

1:20:36

house till January. No fucking way. They

1:20:38

was healthy for Iowa. And Jersey, they

1:20:40

had school already, they would, you know,

1:20:42

it was very, they were closed one

1:20:45

day or whatever, but at least they

1:20:47

tried it. They had the computers and

1:20:49

it sucked for everybody, whether you had

1:20:51

to go to, it's kind of weird

1:20:54

that this last week, last Monday was

1:20:56

five years since that fucking thing. Just

1:20:58

the pandemic. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh

1:21:01

shit. Everything got shut down on the

1:21:03

14th, which is Friday I was coming

1:21:05

to New York City to shoot the

1:21:07

finish the soprano movie. Yeah. And I

1:21:10

was gonna come in on Tuesday, DeNiac

1:21:12

on Wednesday and Thursday, and then that

1:21:14

weekend, I was gonna buy a house.

1:21:17

That's what I was doing that week.

1:21:19

And then it was me and my

1:21:21

wife were coming back April 4th. That

1:21:23

was the plan to close the house

1:21:26

and... get everything moved. Also the pandemic

1:21:28

happened and I couldn't come back. And

1:21:30

I was thought about coming back but

1:21:33

the guy who spread COVID was the

1:21:35

Jewish guy who went to Italy to

1:21:37

ski and he came back to his

1:21:39

neighborhood and everybody got it. So I'm

1:21:42

like, I'm not going to Bergen County.

1:21:44

We want to definitely get out. Like

1:21:46

at that point we're only we got

1:21:48

to get the fuck out. By

1:21:52

the park. And I saw one by

1:21:54

the school. Yeah, the school where our

1:21:56

kids went to. I saw that. I

1:21:58

just saw a lot of shit like

1:22:00

now. they say that neighborhood is not

1:22:02

good. Everybody had to put fences up.

1:22:04

People just walk into your yard, that

1:22:06

there's people. That was when, that was

1:22:08

the, our last straw where we're like,

1:22:10

we're like we're gonna get out of

1:22:12

the neighborhood was the, a guy overdosed

1:22:14

in our front yard. Leon had to

1:22:16

call 911 and she's on Face Time

1:22:18

with me, like there's a guy, he's

1:22:21

passed out in our front yard, he's,

1:22:23

he's overdosed. And they came in, they

1:22:25

gave him, they gave him, they gave

1:22:27

him, they gave him Narcan, and he

1:22:29

woke up, and he woke up, and

1:22:31

he woke up, and he woke up,

1:22:33

and he woke up. And they took

1:22:35

him to the hospital, but it was

1:22:37

like, yeah. And that was, when we

1:22:39

were redoing the house, man, that was

1:22:41

when it was getting scary too, because

1:22:43

once you put a fucking porta-potty in

1:22:45

your front yard, you become a homeless,

1:22:47

fucking haven. Every homeless guy in the

1:22:50

world took a shit in that front

1:22:52

yard. We had to turn, we had

1:22:54

to, we had to empty that porta

1:22:56

potty, like twice a week, because homeless

1:22:58

guys would, there was, I went pulled

1:23:00

up on time on time, and there

1:23:02

was a line, and there was a

1:23:04

line. in my like guy was waiting

1:23:06

to take a shit in my porta-potty

1:23:08

in my front yard and I was

1:23:10

like all right I'm fucking where you

1:23:12

live now up north yeah we live

1:23:14

over in Sherman Oaks it's kind of

1:23:16

funny how everybody kept saying something's going

1:23:19

on with those comedians they're all leaving

1:23:21

in a rush yeah we'll find out

1:23:23

in time there was nothing going on

1:23:25

no it was just time to go

1:23:27

if you were there I think every

1:23:29

I think You know, I think it

1:23:31

was the right time for everyone to

1:23:33

me. It was the right time. It

1:23:35

was right for me. And it hurt

1:23:37

me to leave and it bothered me

1:23:39

a little bit, but I knew that

1:23:41

I didn't want to raise my daughter

1:23:43

there. That area was getting worse and

1:23:45

I didn't see the point anymore. You

1:23:48

could live anywhere right now and do

1:23:50

comedy. You could live anywhere. It broke

1:23:52

my heart to leave the store and

1:23:54

it broke my heart to leave my

1:23:56

friends. what I had to do for

1:23:58

myself and for my family. I'd done,

1:24:00

you know, there's another thing I look

1:24:02

at now, I look at, and when

1:24:04

I say this, it's a little hypocritical,

1:24:06

because if I knew what I knew,

1:24:08

I mean, how fucking lucky were we

1:24:10

to be at the comedy store? When

1:24:12

I knew what I knew now, I

1:24:14

would have gotten out of LA in

1:24:17

2008. But the problem was, I also

1:24:19

enjoyed what was happening at the comedy

1:24:21

store from 2015. I mean, how fucking

1:24:23

lucky were we to be at the

1:24:25

comedy store when, and be in LA,

1:24:27

when the guy now that has changed

1:24:29

the landscape of media in general, was

1:24:31

creating. the thing and I mean those

1:24:33

early episodes of Rogan like I mean

1:24:35

I you know I love Joe but

1:24:37

I think he's so much smarter than

1:24:39

me that I like I get lost

1:24:41

when he tells me things like I

1:24:43

do his podcast now and I just

1:24:46

sit there and nod I'm like yeah

1:24:48

I'm like I'm not as smart as

1:24:50

you Joe he knows so much shit

1:24:52

about so much shit I'm like those

1:24:54

early Rogan's when he was just a

1:24:56

meathead those were the fucking up the

1:24:58

funniest Fucking podcast we used to go

1:25:00

and then go crazy you knew it

1:25:02

that you were gonna get a You

1:25:04

knew you were gonna get a great

1:25:06

response. Yeah, and I went on Rogan

1:25:08

I knew I was going on Johnny

1:25:10

Carson the 70s. Yeah, I knew that

1:25:12

everything I had to say had to

1:25:15

be fucking gold Yeah, if not it's

1:25:17

gonna you know that and I read

1:25:19

a thing about a year ago comics

1:25:21

like I went on there nothing happened

1:25:23

for me well bitch You went on

1:25:25

that talking that oiki doiki shit you

1:25:27

talk about you got to outside the

1:25:29

boxy and Rogan I dread saying I'm

1:25:31

rogan red saying I got like four

1:25:33

people on Facebook that they want to

1:25:35

throw me under the jail for what

1:25:37

I said about him on Facebook I

1:25:39

really don't care it was true and

1:25:41

it was that time to say it

1:25:44

was 40 fucking years ago and that's

1:25:46

what I've always thought a podcast is

1:25:48

about to be fucking crazy but then

1:25:50

they started telling you what we can

1:25:52

and can't say now I haven't given

1:25:54

a fuck in five years you want

1:25:56

to cancel me yeah try it who

1:25:58

gives a fuck I say whatever the

1:26:00

fuck I want now. I really do.

1:26:02

I really... Why? Why? Because I'm hurting

1:26:04

your feelings? I wasn't put on this

1:26:06

planet. To fucking help your feelings. And

1:26:08

I wasn't here to hurt your feelings.

1:26:10

But if you're getting hurt by what

1:26:13

comes out of your mouth, go fuck

1:26:15

yourself. And that goes for everybody. One

1:26:17

of the producers was of one of

1:26:19

the TV shows I was doing. I

1:26:21

watched your special. Are you concerned? And

1:26:23

I said about what? She goes with

1:26:25

some of the stuff you say. You're

1:26:27

afraid you're going to get, you're going

1:26:29

to get in trouble in trouble? You

1:26:31

know, you're going to get in trouble?

1:26:33

You know, you're going to get in

1:26:35

trouble? You know, you're going to, you're

1:26:37

going to, you going to, you going

1:26:39

to, you going to, you going to,

1:26:42

you going to, you going to, you

1:26:44

going to, you going to, you going

1:26:46

to, you going to, you going to,

1:26:48

you going to, you going to, you

1:26:50

going to, you going to, you going

1:26:52

to, you going to, you going to,

1:26:54

you the thing you're talking about? I

1:26:56

don't even know what you're talking about?

1:26:58

So I have no fucking problem. I

1:27:00

don't know what the fuck you're even

1:27:02

mentioning. Like, it's crazy. It just became

1:27:04

something else on people, but you keep

1:27:06

doing what you're doing and fuck them,

1:27:08

let them worry about it. You know,

1:27:11

it's sad that we can't say the

1:27:13

shit we want to tell that people

1:27:15

don't want that shit said. You know

1:27:17

when I get it there's a lot

1:27:19

of people out there that do shit

1:27:21

just for attention and you're not getting

1:27:23

nowhere. This is a business at the

1:27:25

end of the day. So that nonsense

1:27:27

you're talking this is a business. So

1:27:29

you think about it but you're gonna

1:27:31

go say what's in your heart like

1:27:33

about a month ago Selina Gomez went

1:27:35

off about the Mexicans she was crying

1:27:37

and I saw a guy that I

1:27:40

know from LA. He's way older than

1:27:42

me about 65. Family did a lot

1:27:44

in Hollywood like that. He comes from

1:27:46

a big-time Hollywood family Yeah, he had

1:27:48

one show as a writer and you

1:27:50

think he wrote You think he's Martin

1:27:52

Scorsazzi, you know, he only wrote one

1:27:54

thing and they put him on that

1:27:56

just as a there was a lot

1:27:58

of shows going on They put him

1:28:00

on there as a right of yellow

1:28:02

He's he's never worked again. He lives

1:28:04

on a trust one and the day

1:28:06

or two after that whole Salina Gomez

1:28:09

thing This guy put on his Facebook

1:28:11

I agree with Salina Coleman. And I

1:28:13

looked at that statement. Let's pretend he's

1:28:15

65. 66. Why would you say something

1:28:17

like that? Because now you go to

1:28:19

your fucking coffee shop and your little

1:28:21

white friends are going to tell you,

1:28:23

you're so brave, oh my God, we

1:28:25

side with Selena Gomez too, you know.

1:28:27

What makes a man say that? I

1:28:29

don't know, that's LA. That's that whole

1:28:31

mindset of, you know, I see people

1:28:33

not, I hate Joe Rogan because they

1:28:35

can't work as club. Oh. There's a

1:28:38

bunch of people that hate him now

1:28:40

because he he made Trump the president

1:28:42

You know all that dumb shit tonight.

1:28:44

Just look at him go what the

1:28:46

fuck are you talking about? You know?

1:28:48

It's just so sad that for a

1:28:50

while we let it We can't what

1:28:52

comics. We're not actors. We're not I

1:28:54

like people. We're fucking comics You want

1:28:56

to talk about politics do it in

1:28:58

your own fucking time or make it

1:29:00

funny, but now you're making it your

1:29:02

end all be all That's not what

1:29:04

we did. Older comics tend to go

1:29:07

to politics because obviously they run out

1:29:09

of material. You know, obviously you just

1:29:11

can't say no more mercy stories or

1:29:13

Terry stories. Yeah, I love stories. So

1:29:15

you switch over But I never wanted

1:29:17

to forget who the fuck I was.

1:29:19

Yeah, that was never going to happen

1:29:21

in this fucking thing That was never

1:29:23

going to happen to me. And that's

1:29:25

what you see now. You see people

1:29:27

who forgot what the fuck they were

1:29:29

At the end of the day, we're

1:29:31

just dirty comics. Don't look at it

1:29:33

past that. There's no genius here. He's

1:29:36

a genius. There's no genius here. I

1:29:38

could be doing this for money or

1:29:40

I could do it on a corner

1:29:42

and a jersey and a deli for

1:29:44

my crazy friends. There's no genius here.

1:29:46

You know, he's a great actor. Well

1:29:48

listen, I know he went to England,

1:29:50

but Queen Latifah fell off the fucking

1:29:52

boat Newark and she could act. So

1:29:54

what are we getting here? Tapping on

1:29:56

the back. Yeah, you know Daniel day

1:29:58

Lewis. Go fuck yourself He'll

1:30:00

suck my dick. You know, nothing bothers

1:30:03

me more when they say he's a

1:30:05

funny comedian. Again, I'm not putting him

1:30:07

down. What's the guy's name that was

1:30:09

married to the chick from San Out

1:30:11

Live, the blonde? Will on that. Will

1:30:14

on that, well on that's the sweetheart

1:30:16

of a guy. But don't call him

1:30:18

a comedian around me ever again. He's

1:30:20

a comedic actor. That's a big difference.

1:30:23

That's when there is a director and

1:30:25

they say cut. Let's say that again.

1:30:27

We don't work with a director. We

1:30:29

are the director of our party. So

1:30:32

I think that everything got out of

1:30:34

control when you say comedian. You know,

1:30:36

it's like I saw something online a

1:30:38

couple months ago about podcasters are a

1:30:40

lot funny on the podcast and they

1:30:43

are. These podcasters want to go on

1:30:45

the road now. You never did stand

1:30:47

up and you're selling a lot of

1:30:49

theater because, but you're not saying nothing

1:30:52

to them that's worth it. You know?

1:30:54

We worked at it. This is what

1:30:56

the fuck we do. Oh I'm way

1:30:58

better at comedy than I am podcasting.

1:31:01

Oh yeah. I'm not a journalist. I

1:31:03

suck. I interrupt. I fucking talk over

1:31:05

people. I tell a story that is

1:31:07

like your story, but I think it's

1:31:10

better. I'm like the worst at podcasting.

1:31:12

I have fun because I get to

1:31:14

hang out with my friends. And then

1:31:16

people enjoy it and if people don't

1:31:18

enjoy it, then don't enjoy it. But

1:31:21

yeah, it's a... Yeah, it's funny man.

1:31:23

Yeah, do you remember when Ralphie tore

1:31:25

down Seth Rogan's picture at the improv?

1:31:27

They put up Seth Rogan is one

1:31:30

of the, you know, comics and Ralphie

1:31:32

fucking lost his mind. Yeah, because that

1:31:34

lost his mind. What is this insult

1:31:36

all of a sudden that you're comparing

1:31:39

them to us? I can't act. I

1:31:41

can't go up against fucking, you know,

1:31:43

Daniel Day Lewis. Yeah. But don't, don't,

1:31:45

don't say this guy's a comedic, a

1:31:47

comedic, a comedic actor. Yeah. And that's

1:31:50

why I take my pride. I don't

1:31:52

have a director. You know, Roseanne is

1:31:54

crazy as batship, but she was on

1:31:56

Larry King Live. And she said it

1:31:59

best. When you're a comedian, you're a...

1:32:01

You're an actor, you're a writer, you're

1:32:03

a director, you do it all bitch.

1:32:05

We do it all. We do it

1:32:08

all. We do it all. We don't

1:32:10

even know what we're doing. They do

1:32:12

something, they call it producing. My producer,

1:32:14

like go fuck yourself. You call three

1:32:16

guys, you give them a hundred hours,

1:32:19

they come down and do comedy. What

1:32:21

producer? You couldn't fucking produce a pillow

1:32:23

fight. What fucking producer are you? So

1:32:25

all these titles, it's like directors. Yeah.

1:32:28

They got a camera now, they're a

1:32:30