0:00

Hey guys, quick reminder about the Two Bears

0:02

5K with me, Tommy and Jelly Roll in

0:04

Tampa. May 4th at Raymond James Stadium, do

0:06

not miss out on the early bird pricing

0:08

because that will go away at the end

0:10

of the month. Prices rise on March 1st.

0:12

Get off the couch, get on straw, but

0:15

jellies on there, they'll get you to a

0:17

5K, you can do it with us, meet

0:19

us in Tampa, go to Two Bears

0:21

5k.com to register. 100%! Welcome

0:25

to another episode of Two

0:27

Airs One Cave. This is

0:29

an exciting day here. The

0:31

sexual energy is thriving, it's

0:34

charging, I can feel it

0:36

in my bones. And we're

0:38

really happy to tell you guys

0:40

that on February 25th, you can

0:43

check out the all new Route

0:45

66 tour comedy special. It's

0:47

coming out on YouTube. And these are

0:50

the guys behind it. Give it up

0:52

for the Are You Garbage guys, Kevin

0:54

and Age Foley everybody. What's up

0:57

guys? Good to see you, buddy. Thanks

0:59

for having us, man. Of course, it's

1:01

so good to see you. Congratulations. Thank

1:03

you. Thank you. This is a documentary

1:06

special that encompasses are you garbage with

1:08

the with the crowd. Stand up. Yeah.

1:10

And I think actually is the thing

1:12

that people. want to see the most

1:14

which is like the bits the off

1:16

off stage fun shit like on the

1:19

bus fucking around in restaurants that's exactly

1:21

what it is yeah dumping out salt

1:23

shakers whatever you do for fun but

1:25

it has it all yeah it was

1:27

it was very all like we do

1:30

the bus we got I mean because

1:32

we are just dirt bags and like

1:34

you know we just did this ourselves

1:36

like I just started calling bus rental

1:39

places and I'm like, can we

1:41

have a bus? They're like, sure.

1:43

But we got a bus from like

1:45

1981? You got a purposely bad? No,

1:47

it was just like, that's what I

1:49

mean. That's got a lot of car!

1:51

And a lot of car! It felt

1:54

like we were in like a log

1:56

cabin in the 80s. Okay. It was

1:58

fucking, dude. The seats were ripped, it

2:00

was fucking bad. Nine dudes. Nice. It

2:02

was, oh yeah, so it was me,

2:04

him, two openers, Sam and Tommy,

2:07

a tour manager, and then

2:09

the crew was three people

2:12

and a producer. Okay, and

2:14

a bus driver who hated our guts.

2:16

Oh, he hated it. We thought he

2:18

was either deaf or didn't speak English

2:20

for the first four days and it

2:23

turned out he just didn't like us

2:25

at all Because were you guys like

2:27

rowdy? I mean probably a little bit,

2:29

but nothing like what did he not

2:31

like about you? Just our faces? Really?

2:33

Right away? We're in his kind of

2:36

guys. We do we have it on

2:38

we have us meeting him after the

2:40

first night because he got there parked

2:42

the bus all the way to California

2:44

over the 12 days. And I get there. So like

2:47

we go, we do the show, the bus calls,

2:49

like, you know, it's like, you know, two a.m.

2:51

or whatever. So like we go, we do the

2:53

show, do the mean Greek, go out for beers

2:55

and like something to eat and we're coming back

2:57

and he's there smoking. I'm like, hi, I'm Kevin,

3:00

nice to meet you. He just put his hand

3:02

out, no like hot, no words. I said,

3:04

thanks for driving us and he

3:06

just fucking strong silent thing. So

3:08

yeah, I mean, first of all,

3:10

his assignment is driving the 1981

3:12

fucking provos. So this is not

3:15

their best guy. But I think

3:17

he said it had like 2.2

3:19

million miles. It was like crazy.

3:21

It broke down. He's like his

3:23

bus. We got him off air

3:25

being be. It was just an

3:27

RV. So, so wait, so like.

3:30

Describe it, like how old is he?

3:32

He was a Dominican guy from the neighborhood

3:34

I live in. I live in a Dominican

3:36

neighborhood in New York called Washington Heights. Yeah,

3:38

he lives, he's from and he's like, you

3:40

fucking live there? I'm like, you're an idiot.

3:42

He's like, I got out. I had a

3:44

pretty good conversation with him one night. Uh,

3:47

we took shrooms and I was up for-

3:49

Not the driver, just me. Yeah, just me.

3:51

And he ripped eaters, so we were still

3:53

smoking at the time, so he let me

3:55

come up and sit and smoke a sick

3:57

with them. I chatted him up a little

3:59

bit. found a little bit of his

4:01

life story. Nice guy. He's Dominican. Dominican

4:03

dude, maybe, you know, a little bit

4:06

of a rougher, younger days. He's got

4:08

a past. Oh, okay. He's not allowed

4:10

in Canada, we found out. He's got

4:12

to pass. Hey, either of mine. Yeah.

4:14

So, yeah, it's good. The tour didn't

4:16

go up there. Sure. Yeah, stopped in

4:18

LA. So he was really cool though.

4:20

So and was he like like from

4:22

Dominican or was just like no just

4:24

like a New York Dominican guy? I

4:26

got you. And what really broke him

4:28

is we were you know the we pulled

4:30

over and we had a drone flying above

4:33

us like we were pulling into a town.

4:35

Like the production guys like you'll pull over

4:37

so they throw the drone up and we're

4:39

cruising he's cruising and then they hit

4:41

a fucking power line with the and

4:43

it's fucking just. blew up it fell

4:46

on the ground got ran over and

4:48

he thought that was the funniest he

4:50

loved it he was a 15,000 dollar

4:52

loss for us right and he's like

4:54

ha ha ding a truck hit it

4:57

and a car hit it to the

4:59

truck hit I'm like dude we get

5:01

it all right yeah we lost a

5:03

lot of money sure yeah it sucks

5:06

we're in the red on this fucking

5:08

thing dude it's going on YouTube we're

5:10

not even selling it's sleeping I Yeah,

5:12

there's went wrong. The thing too about the...

5:14

I shot my pants. You see your pants?

5:17

Yeah. On the tour? Yeah. On five different

5:19

cameras and tried to hide it, which is

5:21

the most insane. Where were you? I didn't

5:23

realize they were filming, so I was still

5:25

on Ozemphic at the time and it was

5:28

really, it was really killing me. And...

5:30

Was it helping? No, it was making

5:32

me, I was so sick. I

5:34

had burps, the runs, the whole

5:36

nine yards. I was in a

5:39

bad spot. So I was on

5:41

a clock. Because you get on

5:43

that bus campo. He actually lives

5:45

in like a typical good spot

5:48

normally. Like he's not more burping

5:50

and forwarding. But I had to

5:52

really time it out and then

5:55

the bus broke down and that

5:57

kind of jammed up my schedule.

5:59

Yeah. I realized fucking Luke our producer

6:01

was running around like the school

6:03

newspaper filming me and... Dude, meanwhile he's got

6:06

a lava, like we're in like day

6:08

seven of production. Was it running down

6:10

the radar? Was it running down your

6:12

legs? Was it like... No! No! It

6:14

wasn't not. He threw the underwear, underwear

6:16

away. Yeah, I had to get rid

6:18

of the underwear. Didn't break the upper

6:20

atmosphere. He kept the shorts on though

6:22

for the rest of the day, which

6:24

is a wild joy site deal, right?

6:26

Oh, so it was just to like

6:28

say face. Yeah. Yeah, so I we

6:30

got there. Was there were there stains

6:33

on it? I mean, there were there

6:35

stains on it. I mean, Tommy.

6:37

From the outside? Could you be

6:39

like, oh, these are? Well, they were

6:41

dark. They were dark basketball

6:44

shorts. Okay. and we went

6:46

out he was like we got

6:48

he's like let's go get lobster

6:50

and so we got lobster and

6:52

then we walk it's like a

6:54

father-son trip by the way it's

6:56

like I'm fucking 40 I mean this

6:58

is like a few years ago and

7:00

we get back to the we're in

7:03

the hotel lobby and he's like I

7:05

gotta take a shit so he just

7:07

goes to the lobby bathroom and

7:09

I go up to the room we're

7:11

sharing a room sure so I go into

7:13

the bathroom of the hotel room we're in. And I'm

7:16

sitting there taking a shit. And then, I don't know,

7:18

a minute later I hear. I go, what's up? He goes,

7:20

me, I go, I thought you fucking? Yeah. We're using the

7:22

bathroom downstairs. He's like, I shit my pants. Okay? So he's

7:24

like, I shit my pants. Okay? So he's like, hurry up.

7:26

I'm on the toilet man. Like, hold on. So I clean

7:29

up. I get out. He's like, I shit, I shit, shit,

7:31

shit, I shit, like, I shit, like, I shit, like, like,

7:33

I shit, like, I shit, like, like, like, I shit, like,

7:35

like, I shit, like, like, like, I shit, like, like,

7:37

like, I shit, I shit, like, like, like, I shit,

7:39

like, like, like, like, like, like, I shit, like, like,

7:42

like, like, like, like, So I was like, okay. So

7:44

he goes in there, he cleans up, and then

7:46

he comes out, and he's telling me

7:48

the story. I'm like tearing up, laughing

7:50

at it. And then he's like, all

7:53

right, well, let's go to whatever, like

7:55

go to see a movie or something.

7:57

And he starts putting pants on.

8:00

Those are the pants you just

8:02

shaded? He's like, well yeah. I

8:04

go, well, don't you want to

8:06

look at them? And he holds

8:08

them up. And you see this

8:10

brown stain. You can't wear those?

8:12

He goes, why? I go, because

8:14

there's shit on them. And he goes.

8:17

It's just a little bit of shit.

8:19

That's crazy. And I go, that's not

8:21

a sentence. No one says it's just

8:24

a little bit of shit. I go,

8:26

don't you have other pants? He's like,

8:28

yeah, I go, well, get, get the

8:31

other fucking pair of pants. Yeah, that's

8:33

why you don't look. Looking is

8:35

bad. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want an

8:37

answer you don't look. Yeah. Yeah. Don't

8:39

want an answer you don't look. Yeah.

8:42

For that nine guys he'll just be

8:44

like you come in he's like sitting

8:46

in your bunk and I'm like dude

8:48

get your proven shitty ass off of

8:50

my bed like that's I put my

8:52

shoes so wait dude he's an animal

8:54

he's the only guy just like his

8:56

luggage is out and open and open

8:58

and was it a slow reveal that

9:01

you had done this in other words to

9:03

like they found so they were filming like

9:05

the so the bus broke down we were

9:07

getting all that footage and stuff like that

9:09

but i realize luke was like hovering around

9:11

me with a camera and when i got

9:13

off the buses when the incident occurred and

9:16

it's like it's a moment right it's like

9:18

one quick moment but i wasn't sure yet

9:20

oh right because you have to check something

9:22

because we do we have the two-finger dab

9:24

and then this dude but i wasn't sure

9:26

because you know sometimes sometimes sometimes it feels

9:29

like is it wet down there and you

9:31

go Here he comes

9:33

up to the new and above that. Yeah,

9:35

you got that on camera on camera on

9:38

camera did I didn't realize that sorry because

9:40

you think he had a bathroom in

9:42

there and they're like so I mean

9:44

this poor mechanic shop it was a

9:47

family-owned mechanic shop in like Arizona and

9:49

if it wasn't if we weren't at

9:51

that specific mechanic shop I don't know

9:53

how other mechanic shops are but this

9:56

bathroom was like a bathroom at a

9:58

house like they had cleaning underwear

10:00

right in the trash? Yeah, well first

10:02

first I checked because you know

10:04

sometimes you know it's false alarm

10:07

it feels swampy yeah and it

10:09

isn't right unfortunately this time that

10:11

wasn't the case there was some

10:13

action for everybody false so I

10:15

had loose basketball shorts on so

10:18

I thought I did it real quick

10:20

I just did like one of those

10:22

yeah I knew was bad news yeah

10:24

for everybody yeah so I excused myself

10:26

so I excused myself from And same

10:28

thing with your dad, somebody was in

10:30

there. Somebody else was in there. And

10:33

I was banging on the door. And

10:35

I heard the toilet flush. It was

10:37

Tommy Cassidy, uh, our opener. And I

10:39

was like, listen, I heard the toilet flush.

10:41

Next thing I should hear water running. Get

10:43

out of there. I got a situation. So I

10:46

go in there. have to get completely naked. Yeah.

10:48

I'm completely naked and it's like a little,

10:50

it's like, it's a chilly Albuquerque morning so

10:52

I feel that draft coming in. Yeah. Standing

10:54

in these people's bathroom. Their livelihood is in

10:56

the line, he's just like got a pair

10:58

of shitty underwear and a brown ass on

11:00

them. So I threw them in the, I

11:02

threw them in the, in the trash can.

11:04

All right. Through them in the trash can,

11:06

cleaned up, had to clean, I was like

11:09

the wolf. I had to clean up the

11:11

bathroom, get rid of the bathroom, get rid

11:13

of everything, get rid of everything, and thank

11:15

God. And thank God. They had, you know,

11:17

you sometimes put a clean trash bag

11:19

under the under the dirty one so you

11:21

can fill it. They had that. So it

11:23

was cool. I got away clean. Yes. I

11:26

grabbed my bag, I threw my shorts on,

11:28

I moved out, hook shot it in the

11:30

dumpster, and that's it. A bus was

11:32

fixed, let's go. Thought, no big

11:34

deal, everything's cool. He doesn't think

11:37

anybody knows it. And actually at

11:39

this point in your mind. You just got

11:41

away with this, right? Ice of the century,

11:43

huh? It was like the Lufthansa heist. Jimmy!

11:45

Yeah, it was sad. Our producer comes out

11:47

to me at lunch and he's like, dude,

11:49

I have something that I probably shouldn't. I'm

11:51

like, if it's in the, if it's in

11:53

the world of comedy, if we can get

11:56

laughs out of this, you have to tell

11:58

me. I think it was very funny. and

12:00

he's like fully, I'm pretty sure fully shit himself. I'm like when, he's

12:02

like an hour ago. So I'm like, well we haven't changed, we

12:04

haven't shot, we've, you know, the bus is up on a jack. So I was on the

12:06

bus eating cheeses at the time when this was all going on. We

12:08

get back, so he's sitting there eating, snacking away, and I'm like, we're

12:10

like on the road, because at this point, we're like, just the duality of

12:12

the duality of the duality of the dichotomy of the dichotomy of the show,

12:14

like the show, like the dichotomy of the show, like the show, like, like

12:17

the like the dichotomy of the show, like the show, like the like the

12:19

like the like the like the dichotomy of the show, like the like the

12:21

like the like the like the like the like the like the like the

12:23

like the like, like, like the dichotomy of the like, like, like, like, like,

12:25

like fecal matter in his underwear allegedly and I'm

12:27

like can we get to sprinter van like we

12:30

have to still get six hours to a show

12:32

yeah that has to go like you know what

12:34

I mean we're about an eight ball I'm like

12:36

I'm what we're calling rental car they're like no

12:38

you can't return the card another locate we're just

12:41

trying to figure out we're like can we get

12:43

a plan like anything we can do they were

12:45

all handling that I had another business in here

12:47

and I'm like dude what the fuck So then

12:49

we finally the reveal we slow we slow roll

12:52

it just so happened like we would do on

12:54

a pot him like what happened at the mechanic

12:56

shop and he's like oh like he I

12:58

thought the service was great you still down

13:00

playing it I say I'm like do you

13:02

want to get out in front of this

13:05

or like because I I know what happened

13:07

and it's it was just like a

13:09

lie totally in until they got you

13:11

on camera yeah right you need to

13:13

see the evidence before sure yeah talk

13:15

my lawyer at first I don't answer

13:17

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Keep my hands on the wheel, I don't

16:42

answer. Oh my God, so that's in the

16:44

doc though. That's in there, yeah. I wanted

16:47

that just to be the doc. I'm like,

16:49

fuck the comedy, this, at least this. That's

16:51

the best part of the doc. That's going

16:53

to be the highlight. It was the way

16:55

it was shot and the way the editor

16:57

did it and like look back. I mean,

16:59

because we have so many angles of it

17:01

that I'm like, this is the maybe the

17:03

funniest thing I've ever been a part of.

17:05

It just shows you too that like, you

17:07

can work at comedy for so long and

17:10

a real moment like that will be funnier

17:12

than anything like that will be funnier than

17:14

anything you ever. If you want the Emmys

17:16

to call. So wait, you were on

17:18

the Ozempees then? Ozempees then. Ozempees

17:20

then. Yeah. And now, no. Now,

17:23

I had an up and down

17:25

with the Ozempees. I know it's

17:27

bad. I'm sure you got a

17:29

lot of questions. I did bad

17:31

news. I understand. I'm aware of

17:33

what I look like. No, I'm

17:36

just, you know. We went to

17:38

dinner last night. He had lobster

17:40

taco. Okay. A soup. Yeah, and

17:42

then it's you order the lobster

17:44

taco. No, it's my fault. You

17:47

were the other two types of

17:49

lobster for yourself. Sure. There's Eddie

17:51

V's. Eddie V's. Shut up

17:53

to. That's a nice joint

17:55

right there. How was the bill? Heavy.

17:57

Heavy Bill. Yeah, but that's the.

18:00

one place we do splurge food steakhouse and

18:02

we really we don't go anything it's typical

18:04

state will go we'll go ahead you can't

18:06

go wrong at a steakhouse we only do

18:08

we only listen we only do it in

18:10

like you know once or twice like you

18:12

know like something like this you know we

18:14

had like a long week or whatever like

18:16

the first night we got here we got the

18:18

guys with us and stuff like that you

18:20

know we you know we want everybody to have

18:23

a good time Have you been? When you

18:25

come here, have you been to Jay Carvers? No.

18:27

No, we went to three forks. How'd you

18:29

like that? Love dead. Did you get the

18:31

King's Butter? What's that? What the fuck

18:33

is you're dropping that on me now,

18:35

Tommy Buns? Had a little King's Butter

18:38

in my underwear. You gotta go back.

18:40

Yeah? You gotta get the King's Butter,

18:42

yeah. That place was... That was that

18:44

was a heavy but actually told me

18:46

I mean you got here you guys

18:48

were like we are spenders We also

18:50

bad with money. We also almost got

18:53

kicked out of three forks because we

18:55

were pretty fucked up Really? We probably

18:57

shouldn't have been in there We call

18:59

I'm literally I have this exact alphanon

19:01

in I got a backwards add on our

19:03

producers blind drunk kick and shit like

19:05

falling into things. I was in a

19:07

bathing suit at a bathing suit at

19:09

three forts We are who we

19:12

are now. Yeah, that's true. Everybody's still green?

19:14

Were they were they like excuse me? I'm

19:16

pretty sure they thought we weren't going to

19:18

be able to cover the check Yeah, we

19:20

were in the middle of the dining room.

19:22

There's nice nice people. Yeah, having nice dinners

19:24

joined themselves You guys were just animals? And

19:26

we're sitting here. We started day drinking it

19:28

like too. Okay, we went to Siskos and

19:30

East Tech shout it's I don't have you

19:32

ever in Siskos great Mexican food? Okay,

19:34

Mexican food, okay started out we're

19:36

like let's have a beer here and then

19:38

that the weather was nice it was like

19:40

75 yeah let loose man yeah we're only

19:42

off day we knew we were in

19:44

trouble when after we ordered they came

19:47

and they flipped out the loose do

19:49

they keep it up enough and I

19:51

was like at this point I'm like

19:53

in the walkway and there's like there's

19:55

two nice couples having having dinner behind

19:57

dinner behind us we're screaming back and

19:59

we're doing this, we're doing that. We're

20:02

doing that. We were like, we were

20:04

a scene for that place. It's not

20:06

like we had each other in headlocks

20:08

and you know, trying to put each

20:11

other out or anything. How'd you

20:13

guys handle the Super Bowl?

20:15

Quietly. Quietly. Quietly. I watched

20:17

it at home with my

20:19

wife. Because we went to

20:21

the NFC championship the week before.

20:24

And I realized very quickly

20:26

after that whole excursion. There was no

20:28

cars. had to get through broad street walking

20:30

around my feet were killing me i was

20:32

all we were all fucked up i just

20:34

knew we couldn't do another weekend like

20:36

that like that were you considering going yeah

20:39

we thought about you know in the moment

20:41

we were excited because that's hometown it would

20:43

have buried yeah hometown it's also like we

20:45

got our boy you know the bottom you

20:47

know like Tommy Pope Chris O'Connor gilly and

20:49

we always go to the game like we always

20:52

go to Philly's game like Philly's games or

20:54

whatever big games together and it was like

20:56

It was like rally the troops type thing.

20:58

I was like, I can't do it. Also

21:00

we're gonna have to pay for tickets

21:03

like fucking schlubs. Oh my god. I'm

21:05

hitting up all everybody and they're like,

21:07

you made us like $700 last year,

21:09

get out of here. They're like, we

21:11

can get you into the party maybe.

21:13

Super Bowl tickets are crazy. Crazy. Crazy.

21:16

Yeah. I also didn't, you know, just,

21:18

I didn't want to watch that in

21:20

that environment because I

21:22

was very anxious. in the dark

21:24

quiet and watching. But you

21:26

must have really enjoyed it.

21:29

I mean, not, not because

21:31

I kept thinking like this

21:33

fucking guy's gonna come back.

21:35

Right. If anybody could have

21:37

done, you know, it's him. But

21:40

there's a point where like, it

21:42

was probably in the third or,

21:44

the dagger. Yeah, the dagger. Oh

21:47

shit, this is happening. Also,

21:49

it was such a beat down.

21:51

Crazy. made out because there's no

21:53

way people were betting with these

21:55

types of spread no no no no no

21:57

no yeah no way now it was also

21:59

very like The Philly mentality is like we

22:01

don't win like like we have to eat

22:03

outweight like you know just very much like

22:06

Tooth and now and then to have that

22:08

you're like what the fuck. Oh, I mean I

22:10

it's just so crazy to see not just how good

22:12

you guys looked but like how bad they

22:14

lose wild. They looked so bad. You know

22:16

what it looked like? It looked like when

22:19

the, well sometimes when like an old mean

22:21

coach makes his JV team play the Varsity.

22:23

And they're like these guys are way bigger

22:25

and stronger and like this is not cool.

22:27

Someone's gonna get really hurt. That's what it

22:30

looked like. It looked like two different leagues

22:32

of teams. Really. Yeah. There was a guy

22:34

in Philly that in the 60s I think.

22:36

He ended up becoming the. One of the

22:38

managers of this restaurant I worked out when

22:40

I was a kid, the Blue Bell and

22:43

his name was Jack Freel, Philly legend. He

22:45

was the coach of a Catholic school in

22:47

Philly, the night before like the city championship

22:49

or whatever it was, the varsity team got

22:51

in trouble for like drinking or something

22:53

like that, starts, benches them all, starts

22:55

the JV team. wins the city championship.

22:58

What? Or the... I'm not sure what

23:00

it was, but there's something like that.

23:02

There should be a movie about. That's

23:04

what I'm talking about. Some of these

23:06

old guys, like right before I got

23:08

to my high school in Florida, when

23:10

I transferred there from Milwaukee, we,

23:12

um, the old... like you could just tell the

23:14

guys mean A.D. was the also the high school

23:16

was also the football coach and he transferred out

23:18

so I never I got to see him when

23:21

I moved there and then by the time spring

23:23

came around he was gone and they were like

23:25

oh yeah he's a piece of shit and they

23:27

go he would like like one time I remember

23:29

I tried to I asked one of the kids

23:32

in my class I was like why don't you

23:34

play football he's like I'm not doing that anymore

23:36

and I go why he goes well

23:38

that guy he goes well that

23:40

guy he goes well that for

23:42

his own amusement to make me

23:44

like run full speed at a

23:46

he was a freshman at a

23:49

senior and just so like in

23:51

the in the senior was like

23:53

the big fucking guy like a

23:55

neckroll one yeah he was like

23:57

just 40 yard sprint at him

23:59

and the fucking senior knocked him out

24:01

like sent him into the like unconscious he

24:03

was like that was the last time I

24:05

was like that's not that's a life lesson

24:07

what are you talking about come on the

24:09

next guy's not gonna make you do that

24:11

he was like I'm done with that shit

24:14

I'm not doing that again he just did

24:16

it to like bully yeah just 20s kids

24:18

are soft now that's right that is like

24:20

do you see the fucking Rick Patino thing

24:22

that's crazy no what happened no what happened

24:24

dude you got to pull this up this up

24:26

this um This is so great. I

24:28

just saw this. Oh wait, maybe I

24:30

think it was something else It's a

24:32

go to Bleacher report on Instagram

24:35

They fucking Rick Patino still add

24:37

it fucking. He's been coaching. Yeah

24:39

feel like 45 years or something

24:42

old schooler Old schooler so he's

24:44

I think he coaches St. John's

24:46

now they are scroll down right there.

24:48

Where have you guys been and? When

24:50

you click on that you'll have

24:52

to swipe and turn the sound

24:54

on This is half

24:56

time. Every time you miss a

24:59

shot, you'll gain the flight. We

25:01

don't care about you in this

25:04

shot. Like defense. You guys keep

25:06

blowing opportunity on opportunity

25:08

upon opportunity. You're like

25:10

children with bad things

25:13

happening. Instead of digging

25:15

in and be tougher, you wilt.

25:17

Where is your fucking toughness?

25:19

Where have you guys been raised

25:22

that you're so weak mentally

25:24

that you just... Let's fucking

25:26

go, right? God damn, that's scripted!

25:29

Dude, so leave that, that's the

25:31

best, that's the game of life! Not

25:33

to game a basketball! You

25:35

don't fucking get down when things

25:38

go wrong! You dig it and

25:40

get tougher! Your whole life's gonna

25:42

be adversity! Learning a fucking deal

25:44

with it! Let's fucking go, right?

25:47

God damn, that's scripted! Dude,

25:49

so leave that, that's, they're down

25:51

13, that half-time, come back

25:53

and win this, dude. Yeah, and

25:56

if you scroll down,

25:58

this just... Everybody's

26:01

just ready to be like, I

26:03

want to play. Yeah, that's crazy.

26:05

Yeah, that's fucking. I mean, like,

26:07

I'm always shocked by coach, like

26:09

as performers, you're like, how did

26:11

you hit all of those notes? Perfect,

26:14

like, they build the emotion. Then it's

26:16

like, how did they do that off

26:18

the cuff is crazy? Yeah, I think

26:21

he likes Eddie V's, huh? Sit down.

26:23

Baseball steak when I am? Oh, fuck.

26:25

Get you straightened out. You guys are like

26:27

children. I mean, you're sitting there. You're like,

26:29

where were you raised? Meanwhile, you're screaming at

26:32

dudes that are like six, 14, 40. Just

26:34

like, where were you raised, pussy? Like, oh,

26:36

fucking. That's what you need. All my coaches

26:38

in high school and college were like that,

26:40

and I loved it. It's great, right? Oh, it

26:42

was the best. I love coaches that were, because

26:44

that. There's this line you want them

26:46

to be tough but care about you of

26:49

course and like some coaches don't know the

26:51

like that you have to have both sure

26:53

if they care about you yeah can say

26:55

anything they want to you I remember my

26:57

football coach in high school saying he was

26:59

he was hard on us me like they

27:01

were he came in when I was a

27:03

junior and then like. My senior year they got

27:05

like you know got in their foot under them

27:07

and stuff like that and they really wanted to

27:10

like build a program And so he was they

27:12

was hard on us to like you know get

27:14

everybody ready as the program moved forward and I

27:16

think I or another and one of my buddies

27:18

who he always like you know was just strong

27:20

on Was like you know why do you yell at us

27:22

so much and he was like when I stop yelling.

27:24

That's when you should worry. Yeah. Yeah. It's

27:27

true. How we stuck with me? Sounds pretty

27:29

emotionally abusive if you ask me. I'm doing

27:31

it for your own good! Jesus Christ, we

27:33

like that stuff back then. It's crazy. Yeah,

27:35

when they yell at you, when you know the

27:38

guy gives a shit about you, and he says

27:40

that it fires you. You're like, yeah,

27:42

I'm letting him down, letting myself down.

27:44

Like radicalizes, you're like, let's fucking go.

27:46

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30:49

By the way, oh I had to

30:51

bring this up, Christina told me to

30:53

tell you. Shout out to the new

30:55

queen of garbage. She couldn't

30:57

come in today, but she was, I

30:59

go, because I told her how

31:02

much fun, she was gonna, you're gonna

31:04

have so much fun doing this. And

31:06

then I go, how to go, she

31:08

goes, I'm gonna have so much fun

31:11

doing this. And then I go, how

31:13

to go, she goes, I'm the new

31:15

queen of garbage. Well, I think you know,

31:17

yeah, you know little by little, right? Like, like,

31:19

but then... She doesn't put all those cards on

31:21

the table at the first date. There are some

31:24

wild, like, you know, like, in the valley, I don't

31:26

know how well you know LA, but we'd

31:28

be, like, in the valley and... You know,

31:30

she'd show me this neighborhood and like I

31:33

grew up in these apartments and I was

31:35

like, oh, these suck. And then, you know,

31:37

like, yeah, it was all like single moms.

31:39

That was, that was pre-Indian stepdad. Pre-Indian stepdad.

31:42

My Indian stepdad is the funniest. That is

31:44

the funniest that is the funniest sentence I've

31:46

ever heard. And my three Indian stepdad and

31:49

my three Indian stepdad. Yeah, he was out

31:51

of his fucking mind, you know. Yeah, he

31:53

was criminal. He was a real criminal. Yeah.

31:55

She said he was like shooting out windows

31:58

and flattening tires and shit. That ice cream.

32:00

love his pistachio ice cream. And then

32:02

we pulled into a parking lot and

32:04

he's like, oh, hold on a second.

32:06

And then fucking just stabbed the guy's

32:08

tire. And then the crazier part to

32:11

me is like that in of itself,

32:13

you're like, that's super psychotic is that

32:15

he gets in the car and that

32:17

her mom was like, yeah, like, like,

32:20

last year in the highway. Yeah, and

32:22

they were like in it together, like,

32:24

it's fucking guy, it owes me money.

32:26

That's crazy that's going to an internment

32:29

camp. That's nuts. We're now because they

32:31

were in they were in an internment

32:33

camp in Italy and He's like resents

32:35

Italians so much And I'm like well

32:38

they you were refugees haven't had a

32:40

slice in 50 years. Oh, he's like

32:42

the Italians are the cockroaches of Europe.

32:44

That's like his That's just, that's a

32:46

slogan. He hates it. And you're like,

32:49

yeah, they took you in though. Yeah.

32:51

But he's like, fuck them. But yeah,

32:53

then to Canada. And then did she

32:55

tell you the story about why they

32:58

moved to the States? Yeah. It's like,

33:00

it seems like it's out of a

33:02

comedy because she's working, he's working in

33:04

Windsor. Well, lives. Well, no. So Canada,

33:07

he's a mechanic, right? Right. Canada. is

33:09

more welcoming to immigrants and refugees. So

33:11

they settle in Windsor Ontario, which is

33:13

across the bridge basically from Detroit. So

33:16

he's going into Detroit to work, but

33:18

they're residing in Canada. He's like, one

33:20

day, I see a man in Detroit,

33:22

a black guy, cool guy. with a

33:24

nice coat and a feather in his

33:27

hat and you're like, you mean a

33:29

pimp? Yeah. And and he's like, he's

33:31

like, this is who I would need

33:33

to be with these guys. And you're

33:36

like, pimp's. Yeah. And they just get

33:38

in the car and drive to California.

33:40

So like, that was the inspiration for

33:42

it. He was inspired by the pimp

33:45

and then went to California. Yeah. And

33:47

then started pimpinism himself. How much I

33:49

mean, I mean, her life is crazy.

33:51

Her life is crazy. What is your

33:54

role in that side of the family?

33:56

Do you have, or what are your

33:58

experiences with them? I mean, I don't

34:00

know, there's a few things like, she's

34:02

passed, right? I heard you accept that

34:05

past. And then to set that past,

34:07

her mother passed as well. Okay. So.

34:09

The first time I met her mother,

34:11

what was funny to me was, she

34:14

was like, my mom's crazy. And I

34:16

was like, yeah, mom's crazy. Every mom's

34:18

crazy. Every mom's crazy. Yeah, every mom's

34:20

crazy. And I go, okay. So we've

34:23

been dating, I don't know, a few

34:25

months or something at that point. And

34:27

she's like, okay, we're going to go

34:29

to this restaurant now. And she's like,

34:32

again, you know, just so you know,

34:34

I go, just, just relax, it's fine.

34:36

It's fine. It's fine. So. I got

34:38

this we go to we see this

34:40

restaurant her mother comes in she's got

34:43

her hair's done blonde lady very nicely

34:45

done like a well put together lady

34:47

like nice sweater pearls yeah she said

34:49

she was beautiful yeah you know has

34:52

her makeup nails like she looks very

34:54

presentable yeah this is a nice yeah

34:56

elegant woman in her probably what late

34:58

50s or something at the time and

35:01

I go high and she's like and

35:03

Then she goes, Christina's here, I'm over

35:05

here, she goes, and she does this

35:07

little, she had this like little point

35:10

with her, she goes, I vent to

35:12

Bloomingdale's and this fucking... Try to tell

35:14

you, and I was like, yeah. And

35:16

I look at her and she goes,

35:19

I told you, and I told you,

35:21

and I was like, and then she

35:23

just like, goes off, goes off, goes

35:25

off, goes off on the fucking, bloominggales,

35:27

and, uh... She yeah, she had a

35:30

wild mouth the dad did too I

35:32

mean, I don't think I thought he

35:34

was the same You know, she told

35:36

us her dad would take her to

35:39

club men Club mad crazy first time

35:41

I met her dad This is I

35:43

can I can 100% tell you when

35:45

this happened because it must have been

35:48

2005 Because I think that's the year

35:50

that my Michael Richards was on stage

35:52

at the laugh factor. That makes sense.

35:54

And dropped the en bomb. And we

35:57

went to his house the weekend after.

35:59

He goes, what the fuck's the problem

36:01

with saying that? And I go, I

36:03

go, what? And he goes, why? He's

36:05

like, if somebody is an enword, why

36:08

can't I say it? And I go,

36:10

right. Those used to Europeans play by

36:12

their own fucking rules. They don't give

36:14

a shit. They're like words. What do

36:17

you mean? It's like so like, I

36:19

was in an interning camp for fucking

36:21

four words? What? This guy's in trouble?

36:23

I go, he's in big trouble. His

36:26

life is real. He's like, I don't

36:28

get it. Anyway, how long you been

36:30

dating my dog? This is nuts. So

36:32

yeah, they were pretty, um, they were

36:35

like intense. Eastern European like hardcore ones

36:37

and yeah her mom you know her

36:39

mom was complicated like she would be

36:41

sweet but also had this like sure

36:43

fly off the handle I remember at

36:46

one time she had ended up in

36:48

the hospital I think she had fainted

36:50

at a lamp store or something like

36:52

that. And we went to the hospital

36:55

to visit. Smells like a slippant. And

36:57

she goes, I had a stroke. I

36:59

had a stroke. And we were like,

37:01

oh shit. And then the doctor was

37:04

like, he told it's outside. He was

37:06

like, she didn't have a stroke. But

37:08

her mother who was going through a

37:10

lot of things was like the attention.

37:13

Livia. Gotcha. And then I made a

37:15

fatal error, which is that I was

37:17

bedside with her and I decided to

37:19

try to lighten the mood with a

37:22

joke. And it was a simple, playful

37:24

joke. I was like a simple, playful

37:26

joke. I was like, well, you know,

37:28

when we get out of here, you

37:30

know, would you like to go dancing

37:33

or something? Maybe we can go for,

37:35

find a nice club to go dancing

37:37

at tonight. And she was like, fucking

37:39

dance. I had stroke, and the way

37:42

to dance, and I was like, oh,

37:44

and I thought it would be like

37:46

playfully dismissed. Yeah, like, oh, Tommy. Yeah,

37:48

yeah, just like something to like, you

37:51

know, just lighten the mood. She got

37:53

really, really mad about that, like, who's

37:55

gonna fucking dance if they had a

37:57

stroke? I'm like, well, I don't know,

38:00

but you didn't have a stroke, so

38:02

yeah, but she got very mad about

38:04

that. Yikes. Yikes. Yeah. Yeah, that was

38:06

why that was why I was why

38:08

I was why I was why I

38:11

was a great episode, I was a

38:13

great episode, I was a great episode,

38:15

I was a great episode, I was

38:17

a great episode, man. She's great. It

38:20

was the most requested longest away to

38:22

get. And like we don't do episodes

38:24

outside of the studio. Like we've turned

38:26

down a lot of people of like.

38:29

No, just we're not doing it. But

38:31

there's a special level of trash. But

38:33

I was like we have to, you

38:35

know, yeah. I'm not coming to New

38:38

York. I'm like, I picked up on

38:40

that over the past. Right. And she

38:42

had all the shit that I know

38:44

would show up from the emergency room.

38:46

Oh, that's right. Josh is that they

38:49

had a, we had to push it

38:51

30 minutes. She's like, she's, she's at

38:53

the emergency room right now. Something, something,

38:55

she's bleeding, she's bleeding, she's at the

38:58

emergency room right now. Something, something, she's

39:00

bleeding. I fellaied open my finger. It

39:02

was gnarly. And I was trying to

39:04

like just wrap it myself and I

39:07

was bleeding through it. I was like,

39:09

I gotta go. So I went to

39:11

urgent care and they put stary strips

39:13

and everything on. I was just lazy

39:16

trying to slice something through my finger.

39:18

She saw these. My kids are always

39:20

grabbing scissors, screw drivers, cameras, cameras. Yeah,

39:22

they sound like great kids. From what,

39:24

I mean, I've never met them. You,

39:27

I love you and Christina, these kids,

39:29

I hope I never meet. I hope

39:31

by the time they're, by the time

39:33

they're adults, they're in the correct facility.

39:36

That's a deal, man. Those like little

39:38

electric cars that like kids drive. Power

39:40

wheels. Yeah. You plug it on one

39:42

of those. You use it around. So

39:45

they have a couple. I walk up

39:47

the other day and they're just... Like

39:49

there's no steering wheel. There's two tires

39:51

on one. They took it to a

39:54

chop shop. The door is off the

39:56

other one and I was like What

39:58

the fuck happened? So I grabbed them

40:00

like what happened? They're like oh we've

40:03

been We've been hitting them with hammers.

40:05

I go Why and they're like they

40:07

don't work so we just we took

40:09

them to the shop and I go

40:11

who what's the shop? And then they

40:14

both pulled out hammers and they just

40:16

fucking like you can't as new pop

40:18

Terrorrs. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, I mean

40:20

I've only yes, I mean we were

40:23

we were just talking about it The

40:25

story where like they ran through the

40:27

construction site and like broke all the

40:29

shit and then you know, you're just

40:32

like these kids I mean they Little

40:34

rascals. They sound like criminals. Yeah, they

40:36

little rascals. Yeah, they have a lot

40:38

of spunk They do stab their mother.

40:41

You know their favorite thing to do

40:43

with me? They call it torture time.

40:45

So they go it's torture time and

40:47

I go okay. So that means you

40:49

clear the bed and I jump I

40:52

get on the bed and then they

40:54

Pummel me sure but like they get

40:56

like really like they punch they they

40:58

choke me they like and I'm supposed

41:01

to like I get to pin them

41:03

and then as soon as they go

41:05

hey I have to let go I

41:07

was doing that and I had one

41:10

leg locked like I had one man

41:12

a dad's leg lock will fuck you

41:14

oh yeah and I and I'm I

41:16

stopped paying attention to him and I'm

41:19

like this guy and then I just

41:21

he's like he's just starts crying I

41:23

go well he goes your ass is

41:25

close to my face and I go

41:27

okay okay sorry then he calls for

41:30

his mom dead put me by his

41:32

ass hole and I'm like I didn't

41:34

put you by my ass hole man

41:36

yeah meet the sagoras yakes yeah yeah

41:39

that was the first time that that

41:41

ever happened somebody came in straight from

41:43

the ER who should have went to

41:45

the ER the night before Yeah, we

41:48

let it bleed through. Yeah, that's right.

41:50

Yeah. and find out. I know she

41:52

was maybe doing it half-jokingly, but also

41:54

think maybe she didn't want to admit

41:57

this. She said she got bit by

41:59

a snake. I don't think she wanted

42:01

to admit that that her son stabbed

42:03

her. She had a knife and she

42:06

went to grab it and then he

42:08

didn't let go. So then her hand

42:10

went and sliced it. Sure, okay. Yeah.

42:12

I mean there's been snakes too. One

42:14

time they caught a copperhead which is

42:17

crazy and they put him in a

42:19

cooler and then they put him in

42:21

a cooler. On their own? Well with

42:23

her cousin. Her cousin is like three

42:26

years older. That's on their own. Yeah.

42:28

And then they put a copperhead. A

42:30

copperhead which is very dangerous. Put it

42:32

in the cooler, put the cooler, put

42:35

the cooler on the trampoline. And then

42:37

I go, They're in my nephew was

42:39

like I secured the premises. That's what

42:41

he said. He goes everything secured. Did

42:44

you know there was a snake in

42:46

the cooler? No, I go what is

42:48

that? What is that on there? I'm

42:50

like, dude, that could really. They can

42:52

fuck up the day. Yeah, they can

42:55

fuck up the day. Yeah, they can

42:57

fuck up the rest of what they

42:59

hear. It's like something from Yellowstone. Yeah.

43:01

They are the best though. I gotta

43:04

say these they are they all the

43:06

stories I tell are like people people

43:08

who don't have multiple boys go like

43:10

Huh and then every kid who everybody

43:13

who has boys is like yeah Yeah,

43:15

it was the same thing with me

43:17

and my brother like we were law

43:19

it was lawless Yeah, my mom was

43:22

a single mom my dad was you

43:24

know, there was split custody so it

43:26

was like I mean at one point

43:28

they were like we were not allowed

43:30

home alone alone alone together. I just

43:33

like stay after school because we would

43:35

just fistfight like it would just be

43:37

like it would be hell in the

43:39

cell until my mom got home. How

43:42

these how kids like adjust your your

43:44

emotions so yesterday I hear this banging

43:46

I'm like what is this and I

43:48

get out and they'd take it you

43:51

know like stretch like workout bands yeah

43:53

they'd taken a band and

43:55

they put it around

43:57

a different type

44:00

of toy car and

44:02

they're pulling it, but

44:04

it's hitting the walls. So I go, hey

44:06

guys, look at the wall. Like,

44:09

it's all banged up. And I go,

44:11

take that shit off, and

44:13

you know, don't do it again. And I

44:15

go, now I have to have this touched

44:17

up. Like you fucked up the wall, I

44:19

have to pay for that. And then my

44:21

oldest, he goes, I can do it. And

44:23

I go, get the hammer. I go, no,

44:25

I go, you don't, I don't want you

44:27

to do it. I want it to look

44:29

good. So I would have a professional do

44:31

it. He goes, it's just a little paint.

44:33

I go, again. It's also like you're getting

44:35

in a fight with him. I go, it's

44:37

not happening. You're not doing it. Listen, you

44:39

don't have the steady hand to do that,

44:41

okay? You're definitely not doing it. You're gonna

44:43

cost me money by doing this nonsense. And

44:46

then I'm fired up and I go,

44:49

just don't do shit like that. He goes,

44:51

or maybe don't get so upset about

44:53

a little bit of paint. Hey, maybe

44:55

stop eating a pussy. And I'm like,

44:59

because he's right. He's not wrong. You're like, all

45:01

the stuff you have going on, you're worried

45:03

about paint. That's like, yeah, of course. What are

45:06

they, three years apart? Yeah, two

45:08

and a half. Yeah, VMI,

45:10

dude, it was the same thing.

45:12

We were nightmares. One year,

45:14

we had just moved from upstate

45:16

Pennsylvania down to outside

45:18

of Philly. And the

45:20

down by Philly, everything was way more expensive.

45:22

So we were like, my parents were kind

45:24

of struggling a little bit. We're living in

45:26

a townhouse. They were trying to give us

45:28

a good life. They were working their asses

45:30

off and all this stuff. And my mom,

45:32

every year, she would wrap all the Christmas

45:34

presents and put them, hide some stuff, but

45:37

put a majority of them in one of

45:39

the rooms downstairs, like where she wrapped them

45:41

up. But there'd be no labels on them, you

45:43

know I mean? So like, oh, these are

45:45

for your cousins and all that kind of

45:47

stuff. My mom's working like a triple shift

45:49

somewhere. My dad's away. Me

45:51

and my brother are home by ourselves.

45:53

Maybe we're like 12. I'm 12, he's

45:55

14. And my

45:57

brother walks in, I'm sitting there watching TV. He

46:00

comes and he's got a brand new

46:02

sneaker in his hand. And I'm like,

46:04

where the fuck did you get that?

46:06

And he's like, come here. Brings us,

46:09

brings me into the room, he got

46:11

a razor blade and slit open the

46:13

presence and we slid them out.

46:15

So once we realized we could do

46:17

that, we looked at every single

46:20

one. I got this, I got

46:22

this, unbelievable. We piece it back

46:24

together, perfect crime. Don't do it

46:26

right. We put it back. Next day,

46:28

go to school. Come home. Usually

46:31

my mom's there, my dad isn't

46:33

going home until whatever. He's

46:35

sitting at the kitchen table. He's

46:37

like, your mom's over at your

46:39

aunt. She's hysterically crying.

46:42

Bust it. Ruined Christmas.

46:44

It was like one of those

46:46

times, like no yelling. Just quiet,

46:48

bad. We did the same thing,

46:50

but we, we was sorry when

46:53

starter jackets hit. Early 90s. Hot.

46:55

My brother, same thing. Four years

46:57

older than me. And here's a, my

46:59

brother's a fucking loose cat. Especially

47:01

as a kid, he was a fucking

47:03

lunatic. Yeah. So he's same thing, he's

47:06

like, come upstairs, go back all the

47:08

way into the deep, behind the closet,

47:10

behind the clothes, starter jackets. And my

47:12

mom's in the kitchen and we walk,

47:14

he's like, let's go downstairs with them

47:16

on. And I remember being like, this ain't a

47:18

good, I was like, sick. I'm like, I don't

47:20

know. He's like, look at this, look what I

47:23

found mom. She's like, you fucking pee, like just

47:25

broke down. First time ever heard her say, fuck,

47:27

you said you ruined fucking Christmas. And I was

47:29

like, all right, let's go to dance for a

47:31

couple of days. Wow. That's what boys do. Yeah.

47:33

Yeah. It's tough. I mean, like, I look back

47:35

at like what we did to my mind also, because

47:37

they were divorced, I was like, he would just be

47:39

a dick to my mom. Like, like, you just, you

47:42

just, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know,

47:44

you know, you know, you know, you know, you

47:46

know, you know, you're like. A boy, you're like,

47:48

I'll do whatever the fuck. There's no father figure

47:50

in the house. Yeah, one of my kids gave

47:52

a C note to a kid in school the

47:54

other day. What? Yeah. He's got that kind of cash.

47:56

I was like, what the fuck, man? I go,

47:58

what? He goes, hey, don't get upset. No one's

48:00

upset. And I go, okay. What

48:02

for? He's like, he's a good

48:04

kid. Good kid. Smart kid. Can

48:06

use it. Straighten him out. I

48:08

go, what are you talking about?

48:10

He's like, he's a really good

48:12

kid. I just want to do

48:15

something nice for him. I was

48:17

like, you don't have to do

48:19

that for people. You don't have

48:21

to give him cash? Where do

48:23

you get the hundred from? I

48:25

don't fucking, no, he stole it

48:27

from me. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. I

48:29

was like, okay, I go, can

48:31

we just, I go, I'm not

48:33

mad at you, can we just

48:35

make sure that we are not

48:37

in the practice of giving cash.

48:39

Who dimes him out for something

48:41

like that? Dude, school calls? Yeah,

48:44

oh yeah, yeah. They probably got

48:46

them on fucking speed dial, dude.

48:48

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they

48:50

were walking around like Henry Hill

48:52

to give it. What the kid

48:54

ran him out, say, hey, he

48:56

gave me a $100. Is that

48:58

a hundred dollar bill? And they

49:00

were like, yeah, oh yeah. How

49:02

do you think you dumb brought?

49:04

I got 20s? Yeah, it's a

49:06

little something for yourself. Keep the

49:08

chocolate milk cold. Yeah. Yeah, it

49:10

was very- Don't wear that perfume

49:13

tomorrow either. I can't concentrate, huh?

49:15

Yeah. Try to spell over here.

49:17

The giraffe? I don't fucking know,

49:19

is right. So, yeah, he, uh,

49:21

I don't know, man, those kids

49:23

are, yeah, they're wild. Yeah, that's

49:25

funny. That's all. Wait, let's talk

49:27

about money. So, okay. So, what's

49:29

going on? I'm not, we're not

49:31

buying Tigers or anything like that.

49:33

You know, things happen quickly. Okay,

49:35

so you're an impulse buyer? Is

49:37

that what the thing is? Um,

49:39

am I in, I'm just an

49:42

idiot man. He's been smart, he's

49:44

been good. It took me like

49:46

two years to. Last time I

49:48

saw you, or at least we

49:50

were podcasting, you were like, you

49:52

were debating about a car. Do

49:54

you remember this? Yeah. You're like,

49:56

I wouldn't get this car, I

49:58

don't know about that. He bought

50:00

two. Oh yeah, I bought two.

50:02

Well, that car, so I had

50:04

a Kia. That got stolen by

50:06

the Kia boys. Shout out to

50:08

the Kia boys. That got stolen.

50:11

So I bought a used Mercedes

50:13

from Karvana that I'm pretty sure

50:15

was in a flood. Okay. I've

50:17

never had a nice car, I've

50:19

always, I've always had, the first

50:21

new car I ever had was

50:23

IKEA, before that I had like

50:25

a Mercury Montego, and before that

50:27

I had a Chevy Lumina, actually

50:29

had three Chevy Lumina, I kept

50:31

crashing, and then, but they were

50:33

like 800, they were like 800

50:35

bucks at the time. Okay. So

50:37

I would crash them and then,

50:40

or they break or whatever, and

50:42

then my mom be like, I

50:44

can give you 400 bucks to

50:46

a new Lumina. So then I

50:48

bought alumina. I thought, you know,

50:50

yeah, because I, you know, people

50:52

buy nice cars and I don't,

50:54

I'm not like a car guy

50:56

by any means. And I just

50:58

smoke sigs in there too. Yeah,

51:00

you got it. It's a fucking,

51:02

it's a car. It's a 95

51:04

Chevy Lumina, you know, put a

51:06

whole 50 cent and relive. You

51:09

have a new, you had a

51:11

new one? No, I bought a

51:13

95. It wouldn't get out of

51:15

reverse last time. Yeah, that's it.

51:17

I got like a powder blue

51:19

one of those. It wouldn't get

51:21

out of reverse? Nah, so it's

51:23

not, it's not inspected. Who's running

51:25

away, huh? Moving forward, baby. Okay.

51:27

So yeah, so that, that cost

51:29

me, that was like a big

51:31

thing for my childhood though. Like

51:33

I just was like that will

51:36

be cool. I just want to

51:38

zip around with my boys and

51:40

just like, do you do any

51:42

type of any type of saving.

51:44

Oh, I bought a house in

51:46

the suburbs, a little fixer-up her,

51:48

okay. That'll be like the plan

51:50

to get out of the city

51:52

at some point, because the city

51:54

is fucking... Yeah. Going to shit,

51:56

dude, it's crazy. Why? Carely in

51:58

my neighborhood. actively for like three

52:00

weeks four weeks now there's a

52:02

guy just running around taunting women is the

52:05

word taunting just like you bitch I'll fucking

52:07

kill you and then like scaring away don't

52:09

you know yeah the cops are like we

52:11

can't do anything yeah you're allowed to say

52:13

that you're allowed to say like you know

52:15

what I mean like you're allowed to tell

52:17

a baby you're gonna kill it and that's

52:19

what he's doing cool so they can't arrest

52:21

him so he's just wandering around doing around

52:23

doing that okay so like the plan would

52:25

be in a couple years you know Start

52:28

spending more time in the in the

52:30

burbs, but like it. So I've been

52:32

able to and it's just it's I

52:34

ain't going anywhere. It's funny because it's

52:36

a long time. Yeah, he's jammed up.

52:38

It's uh, they're a sponsor, but uh,

52:40

acorns. Shout out to I downloaded that

52:42

through. I'm just as bad as money

52:44

with him. Okay. The way like we

52:46

away I look at I've been I've spent

52:49

every dollar I've ever made up until like.

52:51

Two years ago. I was just saying not now right

52:53

now. You don't spend every day. Well two years ago.

52:55

I had to clean up It was tax. It was

52:58

taxes. Yeah, we were just because I was still running

53:00

the books at the time which we got a I'm

53:02

pretty good, but it got above my pay grade Yeah,

53:04

and we were it was coming in and I'm just

53:06

going here. Take care if I'll take care. We'll figure

53:08

this out next year and I've never learned anything like

53:11

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I said I said

53:13

I vaguely remember I vaguely remember having I remember having

53:15

I remember having remember having remember having remember

53:17

having remember having a happen in an

53:19

accounting So now have it, but now

53:22

that you now that like you've been

53:24

doing this for a podcast is obviously

53:26

grown has become successful You're you're selling

53:29

tickets on the road. Are you when you

53:31

get money now? Do you put some aside

53:33

for like taxes and or well? We got

53:35

a business manager. Yeah, we took that out

53:37

of our control. So he's doing that's new.

53:40

So that's this year. This year's the first

53:42

year. I don't have to Kind of wipe

53:44

out my savings to pay taxes good. That's

53:46

pretty cool. And then he should be also

53:48

easy talking to you about a pension

53:51

We're not there yet. No like the like

53:53

you don't have to start with a lot

53:55

But like just contributing because you know we

53:57

were saying you know 49. Yeah, he's gonna have

53:59

to tap into it like six years.

54:02

Yeah, I got the acorns. Well, when

54:04

I'm 88, I'll have a couple of

54:06

mil. He looks at that because they

54:09

give you, if you keep, if you

54:11

keep continuing this, it'll be whatever. Look,

54:13

there's, you're never, you're never

54:16

too late to contribute to

54:18

something that you can tap

54:20

into after your retirement age.

54:22

That's what I'm saying. You're not

54:24

gonna wanna hustle the same level

54:27

when you're an older guy. I'm 49. Well

54:29

then yeah. Yeah. What are you? 45.

54:31

You're doing pretty good. I used

54:33

to have a lot more gray. This guy's

54:35

all right, huh? Yeah, I mean, you know,

54:37

just, yeah, we'll be all right. Yeah, I

54:39

think. You will be. I have. Just bad

54:41

with, I'm just bad spending. All I'm

54:44

saying is this. Like, I'm in panic

54:46

mode now. No, I learned this too.

54:48

I learned this too. I learned

54:50

this too. Which is like, like,

54:52

I've had different business managers, business

54:55

managers and stuff. Nobody. Do

54:57

you trust them? I trust my

54:59

guy, I think, but blindly. I

55:01

just know he uses other guy.

55:04

Like, it's my friend's guy. Like,

55:06

he's the best. Our peers guy.

55:08

And I'm like, no, if you

55:10

have a good one. Well, listen,

55:12

he's not going to be stealing

55:14

10 grand for me. He's going

55:17

to be stealing that guy's $10

55:19

million. Well, this is what you

55:21

learn. Like you. With more concern than

55:23

you. Right so you so I gotta

55:25

get I don't know if that's true

55:28

all all you have to do what

55:30

I'm saying is yes have you should

55:32

trust somebody if this is a trustworthy

55:34

person trust them right but ask

55:36

for a monthly report look I got

55:38

access to the I'm so nuts I

55:40

got access to so they we moved

55:42

banks to like you know they move

55:44

it to like they don't use TD

55:46

bank right they go to fucking they

55:48

go to rich guy banks that don't

55:50

have storefronts which is shady to be

55:52

to be getting families and they're all

55:54

it's like sterling bank or fucking you

55:56

know all these things you're like where's

55:58

that well yeah give me an ATM

56:00

card I'm crazy though. If I was

56:03

robbing you, I would go. Make a

56:05

fake fucking landing page that says he

56:07

has this much money and make a

56:09

list of transactions. Well look, it might

56:11

be a Ponzi scheme and in which

56:13

case, you know, best of luck. But...

56:15

In the idea that it's not, which

56:17

I hope it's not, and to somebody

56:20

who's taking care of you, just all

56:22

I'm saying is ask for things and

56:24

ask questions and you are only going

56:26

to get where you want to be

56:28

if you tell this person what your

56:30

goals are. Because what will happen is

56:32

if you go, I'm just giving an

56:35

example, if you're like, my goal is

56:37

like, I want to buy a house

56:39

in this neighborhood and you don't mention

56:41

it. Things are happening and then when

56:43

all of a sudden you want to

56:45

do it, they're like, well, we didn't

56:47

know that like they can help you

56:49

structure. I don't know what that is

56:52

though. I don't know what my goals

56:54

are. You have a little cash on

56:56

me. Okay. A little walking around. Do

56:58

you have any debt? I'm asking personal

57:00

questions. Well, I'm saying, that's gonna be

57:02

a goal. I got a credit card

57:04

bill. I pay it though. Okay, I'm

57:06

saying I'm giving you examples of goals.

57:09

Non revolving debt. Do you have any

57:11

longer term? What's non revolving? Like it's

57:13

not do at the end of every

57:15

month. I know that revolving debt. Why

57:17

wouldn't it be do at the end

57:19

of the month? Like a car loan

57:21

isn't revolving debt. I got a car

57:23

loan isn't revolving debt. I got a

57:26

lease. Okay, I can do that now.

57:28

I can be jammed up. Do you

57:30

have a house? Now, then maybe you

57:32

want to get one one day. Yeah.

57:34

I'm just saying to tell them, tell

57:36

them what you have on your mind.

57:38

Don't assume that they'll know what it

57:41

is your goal is. That's all I'm

57:43

saying. Sure, no, I agree. I agree.

57:45

I actually just did that. I was

57:47

like, hey. man what would it look

57:49

like if I got it like when

57:51

can I buy an apartment yeah right

57:53

just because of rent New York so

57:55

crazy just running the just running the

57:58

scenarios because he's like these are the

58:00

stuff you need to think about yeah

58:02

so I go what would that look

58:04

like and he sent it back is

58:06

like 71 you like what's a very

58:08

modest yeah one like one or two

58:10

bedroom you know really like a one

58:12

and a half bedroom and what did

58:15

it look like in and what did

58:17

it look like Like this is what

58:19

you're left with. Yeah, and this is

58:21

what you're left with and this is

58:23

what you're left with and then they

58:25

all three of them were in the

58:27

red Yeah, like he'd be like you'd

58:30

be left with negative $25,000 Okay, and

58:32

I I didn't know you well Yeah,

58:34

but here's the thing he doesn't think

58:36

but like I have money in like

58:38

at eight like a retirement account. I'm

58:40

like well, let's cash out and buy

58:42

a house. No, no, no, no, no,

58:44

no. Yeah, let's see rich guys. Yeah,

58:47

let's the rich guys. Yeah, let's the

58:49

rich guys. Yeah, let's the rich guys.

58:51

Yeah, let's the rich guys. Yeah, let's

58:53

the rich guys. Yeah, let's you rich

58:55

guys. Yeah, let's you rich guys. Yeah,

58:57

let's you rich guys. Yeah, let's you

58:59

rich guys. Yeah, let's you rich guys.

59:01

Yeah, let's you rich guys. Yeah, let's

59:04

you rich guys. You rich guys. Don't

59:06

do that. No! Hold a nice, shake

59:08

it up! I shake it up! I

59:10

didn't involve him in the planning of

59:12

my wedding, which, looking back. That would

59:14

have been a good time. Yeah. He

59:16

was hitting him up for payments, really.

59:18

What did this wedding look like? Beautiful,

59:21

Tommy. Really? Nice time. Hawaii. Hawaii. Beautiful

59:23

place. Beautiful. Did you get married down

59:25

the beach? Yeah. Place called Lonnie Cohen-Cohanua

59:27

in Oahu. It I gotta I gotta

59:29

give it to the fan I thought

59:31

it was gonna be a cluster fuck.

59:33

Yeah. He's never planned anything really for

59:36

The tours the show like you know

59:38

he's like I didn't really plan any

59:40

of it sure but I'm just like

59:42

this guy can't book flights like how

59:44

how is how is this all going

59:46

to go off without a hitch you

59:48

know and I mean dude day for

59:50

we got there to say the ceremony

59:53

was whatever four to four twenty right

59:55

if then at the end you go

59:57

and get a drink Well, 10 minutes

59:59

of cocktail hour. Former Lieutenant Governor did

1:00:01

the wedding, a nice quartet. Sun starts

1:00:03

going down, greet and drinks. You see

1:00:05

the sunset, perfect. hit the horizon. 15

1:00:07

minutes, everybody had to pay for that,

1:00:10

that wouldn't cheat. Yeah, yeah, no, none

1:00:12

of it is. Weddings are. You know

1:00:14

how much is it cost to get

1:00:16

a sunset? How, wait, how many guests?

1:00:18

150. Shit. Yeah. I told you briefly,

1:00:20

I walked in, I went, who the

1:00:22

fuck is paying for this? This is

1:00:24

crazy. Yeah. It was... You aren't that

1:00:27

kid. I know. That's incredible. We're going

1:00:29

to have me work until I'm fucking

1:00:31

70. Yeah, he keeps going we need

1:00:33

a big year need a big year.

1:00:35

Four years. Yeah, it was yeah, I

1:00:37

didn't I just didn't understand it. I

1:00:39

mean, I'm an idiot. You know, I

1:00:42

mean, we this, you know, this is

1:00:44

the first thing that's worked out for

1:00:46

us. We can't be can't be more

1:00:48

grateful. And yeah, you know, you know,

1:00:50

it was really getting close. I was

1:00:52

like, I was like. Fuck am I

1:00:54

going to be able to physically pay

1:00:56

for this? So what happens? He was

1:00:59

in, we get like a monthly check,

1:01:01

like deposit, you know, we'll take the

1:01:03

rent and pay all the other stuff.

1:01:05

It was like November, is it? Can

1:01:07

I get December and January as well?

1:01:09

There's something good faith. Yeah, yeah. If

1:01:11

that didn't happen, I would have been

1:01:13

bad. Yeah, I would have been bad.

1:01:16

Yeah. And I came back in January,

1:01:18

like, ew. Straighten me out because here

1:01:20

was the thing and it was just

1:01:22

he was working with it. He's like

1:01:24

what do you need? You can we

1:01:26

can like the the business matters like

1:01:28

we can figure this out. You know

1:01:30

what I'm gonna let you be bouncing

1:01:33

checks and fucking on a lulu. The

1:01:35

main panic was and I didn't realize

1:01:37

this as we were getting closer to

1:01:39

the to the finish line is that

1:01:41

you know we got a room block

1:01:43

for everybody that was coming over okay

1:01:45

which everybody I mean got banged out

1:01:48

I got my whole family flying to

1:01:50

Hawaii at Christmas. These guys came in

1:01:52

for like three days. I came in

1:01:54

for like 55 hours. Everybody's a little

1:01:56

tense, but wedding was beautiful. I bought

1:01:58

it a great time. But I never

1:02:00

did a room block before. I just

1:02:02

assumed. that if you get a room

1:02:05

block you're getting like a special you

1:02:07

know you a little discount because you

1:02:09

got people coming in. It turns out

1:02:11

that whatever I tell them like if

1:02:13

I say hey I want 75 nights

1:02:15

you know broken you know broken up

1:02:17

like you know 10 nights 10 nights

1:02:19

10 nights you know whatever I'm responsible

1:02:22

for that. He was 75 nights at

1:02:24

a hotel at a beach front hotel.

1:02:26

at Christmas in Hawaii. Oh my God.

1:02:28

I signed the contract and then I

1:02:30

was like talking to the lady and

1:02:32

I'm like, so wait, what does this

1:02:34

what does this mean? She's like, well,

1:02:37

you know, if for some reason that

1:02:39

you only hit like, you know, say

1:02:41

50 nights, you're gonna be financially responsible

1:02:43

for those other 25 nights. Holy shit.

1:02:45

So around, I would say August of

1:02:47

this year, I was basically working for

1:02:49

this hotel. Pitching to my family. People

1:02:51

started dropping like flies too. Yeah, we're

1:02:54

gonna stay over here. Oh my friends

1:02:56

got it. Your friends got a place,

1:02:58

got the pool. What are you talking

1:03:00

about? So how many did you have

1:03:02

to end up covering? None. It all

1:03:04

worked out. Yeah, it all worked out.

1:03:06

No, it would have. No, that's stressful.

1:03:08

That is stressful. Yeah. Yeah. I just

1:03:11

want to slam out in the ocean

1:03:13

and just kept going. I would have

1:03:15

been done. If they were like, good

1:03:17

news, you only have to pay for

1:03:19

19 nights. For people that didn't come.

1:03:21

Let me put you this way, when

1:03:23

we got back from the, when we

1:03:25

got back for the wedding, I was

1:03:28

on the bed, fucking, rip it open

1:03:30

envelopes. Holy shit. Yeah. That's yeah, but

1:03:32

it was nice. Good time. Didn't we

1:03:34

kippy? We had a good time. You

1:03:36

had a good time. Beautiful. Let's let

1:03:38

me ask you this because for everybody

1:03:40

watching right now, you're either going to

1:03:43

know that tomorrow or if you're seeing

1:03:45

this after that there's a special out

1:03:47

on YouTube. It's on the Are You

1:03:49

Garbage YouTube page. Yes. It's the Route

1:03:51

66 tour special. So it encompasses like

1:03:53

a bunch of stuff you guys did

1:03:55

on the road. You documented like a

1:03:57

whole tour. What happens now. Are you

1:04:00

guys going back on the road? What's

1:04:02

what's yeah, we're resuming our regular tour

1:04:04

we go back out We go back

1:04:06

out in early early March to do

1:04:08

a run. We're gonna do a run

1:04:10

in April. We're gonna take a little

1:04:12

time off in the summer from the

1:04:14

road and then we got we had

1:04:17

an AC show and then we'll start

1:04:19

back up touring in the fall. Pick

1:04:21

back up in the fall but yeah

1:04:23

back you know this this was different

1:04:25

this was our big thing again also

1:04:27

yeah financially irresponsible we sunk everything we

1:04:29

had into this yeah like yeah also

1:04:31

another thing where what do we do

1:04:34

in here? So our new The one

1:04:36

thing we want to do as a,

1:04:38

you know, is we want to buy,

1:04:40

we're like, let's buy a conversion. Do

1:04:42

you have an Acorns account? So, you

1:04:44

want to buy what? A conversion van.

1:04:46

Because that's a trashy thing. So, you

1:04:49

know, so we're like, all right. So,

1:04:51

you know, so we're like, all right,

1:04:53

so you start looking, those things ain't,

1:04:55

gee, they're like, they're like, they're sure

1:04:57

this thing, you got to put it

1:04:59

in a garage in New York. I'm

1:05:01

like, yeah, but like, we'll just pay

1:05:03

a guy to drive us to, hold

1:05:06

drive to Pittsburgh. Yeah. We'll land in

1:05:08

Pittsburgh then because we do like strings

1:05:10

of one-nighters. Yes. You know what I

1:05:12

mean? Like clubs during the week and

1:05:14

theaters on the weekend. So it's like,

1:05:16

we're out for a week. You're paying,

1:05:18

I'm like, we're out for a week.

1:05:20

You're out for a week. You're paying

1:05:23

for a week. You're paying for a

1:05:25

week. You're paying for a week. So

1:05:27

it for a week. We're out for

1:05:29

a week. So it for a week.

1:05:31

We're like, we're like, we're out for

1:05:33

a whole drive. Yeah, you use it

1:05:35

one month out of 12 months. It's

1:05:37

got captain share He's like it. Yeah,

1:05:40

it's just nice right? Swivels got a

1:05:42

TV in it. Yeah, I want to

1:05:44

be able to sit in the captain

1:05:46

share in the back right and turn

1:05:48

around and talk to the boys I

1:05:50

I conduct business. I'm a fan of

1:05:52

it. I'm a fan of it. You

1:05:55

know, we're doing it against his better

1:05:57

judgment you are doing it. Yeah, we're

1:05:59

gonna buy it this week. So he's

1:06:01

like well. Is that the first game?

1:06:03

Yeah. We literally have our idiot friends.

1:06:05

It's like, he's like, just sounds like,

1:06:07

I'll leave two days early and I'll

1:06:09

meet you, I'll pick up the airport.

1:06:12

How much was the van? It's,

1:06:14

well, we haven't got it yet,

1:06:16

but there are about 80. It's

1:06:18

gonna be a car payment. Yeah,

1:06:20

car payment a month. You're gonna

1:06:23

put, you're gonna put something

1:06:25

down? I don't. Savannah, right there.

1:06:27

Yeah. Wow, that's clean living right

1:06:29

there. Pulling up at one

1:06:32

and a half? Yeah, B.A.

1:06:34

Barakas. Yeah, that is kind

1:06:36

of a garbage vehicle. Right?

1:06:38

It's like fun. It's like.

1:06:40

Ours doesn't have that tent

1:06:42

on the top, does it?

1:06:44

Oh, that's where you're staying.

1:06:46

No. Yeah. And it's all

1:06:48

like sweet on the inside? Like

1:06:50

it's like all like leather and it's

1:06:52

got ayeurs TV, a whole nine. those

1:06:55

those are hard to find these days

1:06:57

I got two words for you power

1:06:59

windows all right but the one thing

1:07:02

is you know you travel you're in

1:07:04

different car you're just all the time

1:07:06

and I go if that's just our

1:07:09

car for this for the Midwest to

1:07:11

the East Coast and that's just

1:07:13

what we're in all the time that's

1:07:15

not it's like a home away from

1:07:17

home one thing that is like somebody

1:07:20

pointed this out to me I forget who

1:07:22

it was I was on the road one time

1:07:24

And another comic was staying

1:07:26

at the same hotel. This is

1:07:28

like 10 years ago. And we

1:07:31

were playing different places.

1:07:33

And I go, are they coming to

1:07:35

pick you up? And he was like,

1:07:37

oh no, no, no. He's like, no,

1:07:39

no. He's like, no, no. He's like,

1:07:41

no, no, no. He's like, no

1:07:43

one ever picks me up.

1:07:45

And I thought he meant

1:07:48

like, disrespectfully. I was like,

1:07:50

you're out of your fucking mind,

1:07:52

right. In a city it is

1:07:54

some fucking Yahoo who is like

1:07:56

talking to me. They don't

1:07:58

care. I'm like you're professional

1:08:00

driver like break check in like just driving

1:08:02

like an asshole uh-huh and half the time

1:08:04

like I'll ask when we get I'm like

1:08:06

if the drive isn't far I'll be like hey

1:08:08

can I rent the car yeah I'll just drive

1:08:11

myself I'd rather be behind the wheel we'll do

1:08:13

like we'll get like a sprinter or something we're

1:08:15

like oh we're going like three hours between cities

1:08:17

it's like just get a sprinter and those

1:08:19

guys you go hey can you slow down that's another

1:08:22

thing it's so damn like it's so damn like they're

1:08:24

all looking then we're all looking then we're going Can

1:08:26

you tell him? You say it? And it's like, we're

1:08:28

like afraid to be like buddy. I know. And then

1:08:30

they go, no, no, no, that's, it's that guy's fault.

1:08:32

I'm doing a speed limit. I'm like, you're doing 90.

1:08:35

Yeah, no, no. We did a dude stop for gas

1:08:37

not that long ago. We had a show in Red

1:08:39

Bank. We drove from the city. You guys, like, I

1:08:41

gotta get to get gas. He disappeared for like 20

1:08:43

minutes. After 15 minutes of being in the car,

1:08:45

he's like, I gotta stop and get gas. I'm

1:08:47

like, the hell's going on here. Yeah, there's a

1:08:50

lot of fucking. All right. And so my thing

1:08:52

is like, hey, we got a driver that we

1:08:54

know and can trust and can communicate with. Yes.

1:08:56

We, if we know what kind of car we're

1:08:58

in. Your friend will do this? Yeah, he's. Not

1:09:00

chomp it at the bit he goes

1:09:02

he's like that that sounds like the

1:09:05

coolest thing in the world. Yeah conversion

1:09:07

van world It's the boys the boys

1:09:09

are fucking, you know, how many people

1:09:11

travel in the van? It's getting more.

1:09:13

It's getting more It's getting more. It's

1:09:16

getting more and more did Yeah, so

1:09:18

we go it'll be six of us

1:09:20

to producer. It'll be me him a

1:09:22

producer your business manager will be a lot

1:09:24

happier with this purchase if you Use

1:09:27

it for a lot more transportation. Sure. You

1:09:29

know what I mean? Well, that's the thing.

1:09:31

It's like you also landed six guys. You're

1:09:33

like, we gotta rent a car for a

1:09:35

week or whatever. It's just, you know, I'm

1:09:37

trying to sell it. It doesn't make sense

1:09:39

financially, but it's fun. And we've kind of

1:09:41

made a oath of like, let's just spend money

1:09:43

on. being stupid and fun. It's what the whole

1:09:45

shows are about. You know what I mean? Yeah,

1:09:48

so it's like bozos and homies. You know, the

1:09:50

fans want to see that. We'd be stupid to

1:09:52

have a 401k. Let's get a fucking GM

1:09:54

Cciana. There you go. I wouldn't even know

1:09:56

how to go about that. Yeah, if you don't

1:09:58

know, just don't do it. Yeah, don't ask. Don't

1:10:00

ask the guy. Plus I don't

1:10:02

know the retirement thing. It's like

1:10:04

you can't take it out till

1:10:06

a certain age. Yeah, what? I

1:10:08

know. I mean, clocks ticking. You

1:10:11

know what I mean? On all

1:10:13

of us. Yeah, I need access

1:10:15

that I came now. Yeah, fuck

1:10:17

retirement. I got a florist in

1:10:19

Hawaii looking for me. I would

1:10:21

love to see the bills. Man.

1:10:23

We were getting. I thought I

1:10:25

had it all mapped out. We

1:10:28

flew from. New York to I

1:10:30

think was a Minneapolis and then

1:10:32

got on a gun on a

1:10:34

got on a had a liver

1:10:36

in Minneapolis got on a plane

1:10:38

we're flying in I got it

1:10:40

all mapped out everything's been taken

1:10:42

out all the final payments are

1:10:44

done yeah we're literally about to

1:10:47

take off you know and I'm

1:10:49

gonna I'm gonna lose my internet

1:10:51

I look at my American Express

1:10:53

bill and I go white something

1:10:55

was just like an invoice when

1:10:57

I thought I paid it but

1:10:59

I didn't and I'm like man

1:11:01

this is gonna fuck everything up

1:11:04

and then we get I'm like

1:11:06

wait wait I thought this was

1:11:08

taking out whatever we get into

1:11:10

a huge fight on our way

1:11:12

there and then I lose it

1:11:14

because I'm trying to text I'm

1:11:16

trying to text the you know

1:11:18

the vendor like what did you

1:11:20

double charge me whatever and I

1:11:23

lose it man talk about a

1:11:25

long flight so long flight I

1:11:27

remember the before like this is

1:11:29

2007 I had miles and I

1:11:31

had like, I don't know, points

1:11:33

or something and I figured out

1:11:35

the, and I went to Hawaii

1:11:37

with Christina. And she was like,

1:11:40

this place is fucking. I was

1:11:42

like, yeah, it's no problem. No

1:11:44

big deal. And I had calculated

1:11:46

that this trip with whatever I

1:11:48

was doing was gonna cost me

1:11:50

three, three thousand dollars. And then.

1:11:52

When I checked out, you know,

1:11:54

you forget things that like breakfast.

1:11:56

Sure. 29 bucks a clip per

1:11:59

person. More. I like a big

1:12:01

breakfast too. Yeah, it's like, it

1:12:03

was, and then I'm checking out

1:12:05

and they're like, here's your bill.

1:12:07

And it was like seven. I

1:12:09

was like, I paid it and

1:12:11

the guy, I was like, and

1:12:13

I left and then, I left

1:12:16

and then, I don't know, six

1:12:18

months later I was still being

1:12:20

like, fuck. And I believe that,

1:12:22

yeah, that bill went to collections.

1:12:24

Oh, man. And then they called

1:12:26

me. I still got some stuff

1:12:28

in collections. And I paid it

1:12:30

and the guy, I was like,

1:12:33

I paid that off. He's like,

1:12:35

oh, the guy on the phone,

1:12:37

he goes, oh, you a big

1:12:39

baller. My little puzzy bitch, he's

1:12:41

like, you big Bali pay that

1:12:43

off? I was like, what? Just

1:12:45

taunting you? Yeah, he was taunting

1:12:47

me. That's great. Yeah, I was

1:12:49

like, yeah, my my activities leading

1:12:52

up to this as far as

1:12:54

like exploring different avenues of, you

1:12:56

know, maybe loans or whatever, has

1:12:58

now led to my phone. gets

1:13:00

blown up I am on some

1:13:02

list of I am on the

1:13:04

huge sucker list somewhere I have

1:13:06

these random hey you're almost approved

1:13:09

for this you want to do

1:13:11

I mean I get like five

1:13:13

a day and I'm answering them

1:13:15

Because I'm like, take me off

1:13:17

your fucking list. I didn't fucking

1:13:19

apply for this. But we try

1:13:21

to explain to him that that's

1:13:23

a positive to them. They go,

1:13:25

he answered. You were one in

1:13:28

5,000 that answered. So they're going

1:13:30

to go, it's fucking fat idiot.

1:13:32

It's going to give up at

1:13:34

some point. He's going to be

1:13:36

behind the eight ball and go,

1:13:38

you can get me 10 grand

1:13:40

today? All right, well. Thank you

1:13:42

guys for coming. Thank you, buddy.

1:13:45

We love you. We love you

1:13:47

guys. Are you garbage? Route 66

1:13:49

Tour Special comes out February 25th.

1:13:51

It's on their YouTube channel. Make

1:13:53

sure you check it out. Make

1:13:55

sure you listen and follow. Are

1:13:57

you garbage? And we'll see you

1:13:59

guys soon. Thank you. Thank you,

1:14:01

buddy. Bye. Here's what bears,

1:14:04

one two bears one cave.