Blake Lively and the Amber Heard Effect

Blake Lively and the Amber Heard Effect

Released Friday, 10th January 2025
 1 person rated this episode
Blake Lively and the Amber Heard Effect

Blake Lively and the Amber Heard Effect

Blake Lively and the Amber Heard Effect

Blake Lively and the Amber Heard Effect

Friday, 10th January 2025
 1 person rated this episode
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

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0:00

What does Tiffany Trump need a crisis

0:02

PR person for? Well.

0:09

Year"] Hello, hello, and welcome

0:11

back to A Bit

0:13

Fruity. I am Matt Bernstein.

0:16

I'm so happy that you're here. Happy

0:18

New Year. We are recording this

0:20

on New Year's Day, which I do

0:22

just want a little bit of

0:24

recognition for because I think that's commitment

0:26

to the craft. Thank you very

0:28

much. So I was home for the

0:30

holidays I was with my parents

0:32

and I was like, did you guys

0:34

hear about the Blake Lively Justin

0:36

Baldoni situation? And my parents are pretty

0:38

checked out from pop culture and

0:40

they were like, We're pretty checked

0:42

out from pop culture. We don't really care

0:44

about this. They're two celebrities.

0:46

My dad was like, I think

0:48

I might have seen something in

0:51

the New York post. Unfortunately, Unfortunately,

0:53

he does read the post. It's

0:55

something we're working on as a

0:57

family unit. And so I was

0:59

trying to explain to them why

1:01

the Blake Lively Justin Baldoni lawsuit

1:03

battle situation, which we will explain

1:06

to you in full as this

1:08

podcast continues, is what I think

1:10

is much bigger than a celebrity

1:12

drama. It's much bigger than rich

1:14

movie stars warring, even though that

1:16

is technically what it is. think

1:18

the implications are much bigger.

1:20

I think it hearkens back to

1:22

conversations we've had on this

1:24

podcast sexual abuse about Heard,

1:27

about celebrity PR campaigns, about

1:29

the Me Too movement,

1:31

and that is why I

1:33

wanted to sit down

1:35

and make an episode about

1:37

it. It's also perhaps

1:40

the most requested episode. I've

1:42

ever gotten. And so

1:44

I called up the only person that

1:46

I could imagine calling up to

1:48

do such an episode. Kat 10 barge

1:50

is back here, not just on

1:52

the podcast, but in my living room

1:55

recording with me in person, which

1:57

is so special. Cat is a journalist

1:59

at NBC. News. who does a

2:01

lot of coverage around these cases.

2:03

is brilliant. Cat, also also is

2:05

the is the first guest

2:07

I ever recorded with. The

2:09

first episode I recorded for

2:11

this podcast, which was the

2:14

second episode to ever go

2:16

up. Amber Heard and Amber perfect of

2:18

the Perfect Victim. was that was also

2:20

the first time and I I ever

2:22

met. And now she is one

2:24

of my... closest closest

2:26

friends closest friends. you

2:28

so much for being here. I

2:30

know that you have spent at this

2:32

point like hundreds of hours pouring over

2:34

the details of everything we're going

2:36

to talk about today. going an honor

2:38

to be here. I was so excited

2:40

when you asked me to talk about

2:43

this because I had so many thoughts this

2:45

because I did not have a venue

2:47

to express them, but this is the

2:49

perfect one. Oh vocal fry disclaimer

2:51

this is the perfect We're going to

2:53

do a vocal fry

2:55

disclaimer. Oh. We're going to do a

2:57

vocal fried disclaimer. In past episodes

2:59

with Cat, people have

3:02

left some really unnecessarily brutal

3:04

and cruel comments about

3:06

specifically Cat's vocal fry. And we we just

3:08

wanted to address this top of

3:10

the episode. If If you have

3:12

an issue with vocal fry

3:14

on this podcast. We don't care! We

3:16

don't care! We don't care! Do

3:18

you have any like don't

3:20

care. Do you have any

3:22

and on vocal fry and misogyny? It

3:25

is a it is a thing.

3:27

It is a known phenomenon that

3:29

people hate women's voices vocal fry is

3:31

the reason. fry is the reason. I

3:33

first is a real thing. I mean,

3:35

basically as I mean, basically as

3:37

long as I've been a public

3:39

figure, people have been coming

3:42

at me and saying that they

3:44

hate my voice and that

3:46

I have vocal fry. and that I

3:48

I actually did like a session

3:50

with with a therapist, but like

3:52

a vocal trainer. He was

3:54

like, was like You do have vocal

3:56

fry, fry but it's not something

3:58

that you can necessarily... fix? So there

4:01

is a link between vocal fry and

4:03

misogyny where people are more likely to

4:05

pick up on it in women, people

4:07

are more likely to use it as

4:10

an excuse to not listen to women,

4:12

but I also like I mean if

4:14

you really hate it so much then

4:17

I guess I get it because there

4:19

are just some things that people are

4:21

more sensitive to than others. Sure. But

4:24

I don't know. I think it's kind

4:26

of silly. We don't care. We don't

4:28

care. We don't care. We have real

4:30

things to talk about and when we're

4:33

going to talk about them. Oh, also

4:35

the vocal trainer or whatever it's called.

4:37

He said that the best way to

4:40

do something about it is to have

4:42

more confidence in what you're saying. And

4:44

I thought that was really interesting because

4:47

it almost makes it like more of

4:49

a psychological thing. And of course women

4:51

might be more likely to have vocal

4:53

pride because women are of course more

4:56

likely to be less confident in what

4:58

they're saying. But I feel like that

5:00

doesn't always apply to me because I'm

5:03

often very confident in what I'm saying.

5:05

I was going to say. And that

5:07

was when I was like, oh, we

5:10

can't fix this. Well, I want to

5:12

start this episode by saying that I

5:14

have never had great interest in Blake

5:16

Lively as a public figure. I didn't

5:19

watch Gossip Girl. If you have feelings

5:21

about that, feel free to express them.

5:23

I can take it. But Blake Lively

5:26

to me was someone who I knew

5:28

I knew best. for her Metgala appearances.

5:30

I think Anna Winter always places her

5:32

sort of towards the end of the

5:35

red carpet arrival schedule, because she always

5:37

has like the biggest most extravagant dresses,

5:39

and she's, of course, she's very beautiful,

5:42

extremely successful actress. That's kind of the

5:44

extent of my Blake Lively knowledge. And

5:46

then all of a sudden, this past

5:49

August, my social media feeds on Instagram,

5:51

on Twitter, you know, even though I

5:53

don't use it all that much. were

5:55

just filled with all of this anti-

5:58

Blake Lively content. You know, she is...

6:00

apparently work with work with on set.

6:02

She is a fake a fake feminist. mean

6:04

She was mean to an interviewer

6:06

in 2016, and it was just

6:09

like hit hit Lively. I hit on get away

6:11

I couldn't get away from it,

6:13

and I am who pays who pays

6:15

attention to this woman. and I And

6:17

I was very confused. And I feel

6:19

like maybe that's where this should begin.

6:21

Yeah, I mean I mean, I similarly

6:23

not watch Gossip Girl and

6:26

I think and I Lively in

6:28

my mind was always someone

6:30

I associated with Taylor Swift with

6:32

they're good friends. they're

6:34

she was part of the, Oh,

6:36

she was part of the squad. she's one

6:38

of the people in Taylor

6:40

Swift's inner circle who has

6:42

remained there the longest the longest.

6:44

And like Taylor Swift has a

6:46

song the where the characters

6:48

in the songs are the names of

6:50

Blake children. So they are really are really close.

6:53

me a That didn't give me a

6:55

particularly or or negative view of

6:57

her. She was just someone who existed. And

6:59

similarly over the summer, I I did

7:01

not care about the Hoover Hoover I

7:03

did not care about the movie. the

7:05

These are things outside my own pop

7:08

culture purview. It's like a different demographic.

7:10

But But to what to what

7:13

happened in 2022, the

7:15

social media feeds start getting

7:17

filled toward this this woman, point to the

7:19

point where I actually, in conversation with

7:21

a friend, she brought up like, oh,

7:23

I guess like a like a horrible person.

7:25

that made that made like, the the hairs on

7:27

the back of my neck stand up,

7:30

because whenever whenever a woman a woman. who is

7:32

facing this type of scrutiny and there's not

7:34

like a clear reason why she's a

7:36

bad person, it's just all of a

7:38

sudden a is saying that they don't

7:40

like this woman. don't like this woman me is

7:42

always a red flag red flag something weird

7:44

is happening. is You're right, it was right it

7:46

was a lot of know all of a sudden

7:49

you get called a mean girl called a

7:51

there's this sort of like political morally

7:53

righteous posturing to why you don't like

7:55

some famous woman it kind it kind of

7:57

comes out of thin air a lot

7:59

of time and when the volume of content

8:01

that's being put out, it's like

8:04

it reaches you by osmosis. It's

8:06

like maybe you didn't like Blake

8:08

Lively before, and maybe you aren't

8:10

even paying attention closely enough to

8:12

any of this content to really

8:14

pinpoint why you don't like her,

8:16

but suddenly the vibe has soured.

8:18

And there were certain things that

8:20

I picked up on about this

8:22

discourse as I was seeing it,

8:24

and I was not choosing to

8:26

engage with it, but when you're

8:28

on social media all the time,

8:30

you are fed things. And so

8:32

whether you want to engage with

8:34

them or not, they are entering

8:36

your field of vision and you

8:38

are thinking about them, and you're

8:40

reading and hearing what people have

8:42

to say. So some of the

8:44

things that stuck out to me

8:46

about reasons why people were mad

8:49

at Blake Lively and didn't like

8:51

Blake Lively, there were a couple

8:53

things that I previously knew about

8:55

her. There were some new reasons

8:57

why people didn't like her. that

8:59

struck me as a red flag

9:01

because they were the types of

9:03

rhetoric that I had encountered in

9:05

the past around other celebrity women

9:07

in really well-documented cases where there's

9:09

something more nefarious going on under

9:11

the surface. So the things that

9:13

I already knew about Blake Lively

9:15

were that she and Ryan Reynolds

9:17

got married on a plantation back

9:19

in 2012. Awful. Awful. And this

9:21

is something that Ryan Reynolds had

9:23

apologized for in 2020. and they

9:25

had acknowledged it. And so we

9:27

all kind of knew that that

9:29

was out there and pretty universally

9:31

people were like, this is a

9:33

bad look. Yeah, white people, we

9:36

got to stop with the plantation

9:38

weddings. Enough. And there were also

9:40

other things kind of being dredged

9:42

up from that time that I

9:44

didn't know about, like that Blake

9:46

Lively had a blog that romanticized

9:48

the antebellum. Okay. Not good. And

9:50

so these were things that. I

9:52

think we're already out there, but

9:54

we're sort of being resurfaced and

9:56

recommented on at this time, but

9:58

they were like Subplots to

10:00

what the biggest issues

10:02

were which was that Blake is a mean

10:04

girl Is that I mean that I

10:06

mean that felt like felt like broad

10:09

strokes the consensus was. That was like

10:11

crime. It wasn't any of

10:13

the racist the which is reprehensible. It

10:15

was definitely more broad

10:17

characterizations of her as

10:20

someone unlikable, which is

10:22

is speaking a pretty

10:24

gendered characterization because when

10:26

we talk about people

10:28

being mean, people girl is

10:30

the characterization for a

10:33

reason. We don't have

10:35

an equal characterization for

10:37

men. It's because she's a

10:39

she's a woman. also It's also

10:41

questionable because what does that even

10:43

really mean? Who was she

10:46

mean to? here you so here you

10:48

start to see things coming

10:50

out more specifically. You

10:52

start to see resurfaced clips from

10:54

interviews from seven, eight years

10:56

ago, where she's having sort of

10:58

tense back and forth forth journalists.

11:01

And you start to see things that

11:03

she said on the promotional tour, tour,

11:05

it ends with with people took issue

11:08

with. issue with. And ends with us was

11:10

the inciting factor that led to

11:12

all of this backlash. backlash. Exactly. This of of

11:14

like mania of anti Blake lively content is

11:16

all contextualized within this movie that came

11:18

out at the time It Ends With

11:20

Us, which is, I'm I'm going to tell

11:23

you everything I know about It

11:25

Ends With Us. This is going to

11:27

be a very quick segment be a

11:29

it's not that much, because it's it's But it's

11:31

a book. a movie So okay, it's a

11:33

movie adapted from the book by

11:35

Colleen Hoover. a book It is a book

11:37

about a violent, a domestically violent it

11:39

into a movie. they made it into a

11:42

movie. have And some people have Hoover books as

11:44

Hoover books as romanticizing domestic violence.

11:46

That's kind of the extent of

11:48

my knowledge. of my knowledge. Yes. I am

11:50

not the type of person who would

11:52

read a a calling Hoover book, but again, I

11:54

I was aware of them because

11:56

they were such a popular phenomenon online. you

11:59

characterize what? that means though for

12:01

both me and anyone listening who's unfamiliar

12:03

with Colleen Hoover's books? The genre of

12:05

these books it's like I think it's

12:08

something that traditionally has been known as

12:10

like a beach read which is to

12:12

say there are books that are aimed

12:14

toward women and they are books that

12:17

are supposed to be really engaging like

12:19

really mainstream open to a mainstream body

12:21

of readers they're not like super intellectual

12:23

books they're just like fun, light, quick

12:26

reads, which is kind of weird with

12:28

the topic of this book. Sure. Because

12:30

it is a book about domestic violence,

12:32

but I think that's part of why

12:35

people took issue with it is like

12:37

there's something very unserious about the way

12:39

that domestic violence is being framed within

12:41

this material. So I did watch the

12:44

movie like a week ago, and I

12:46

thought it was interesting from the way

12:48

that I had heard people describe it.

12:50

I was really unsure of how domestic

12:53

violence was going to be portrayed. And

12:55

I do think that there are some

12:57

things about the portrayal of it within

12:59

the source material that seem to me

13:02

realistic. And then there are other things

13:04

about the portrayal that I think are

13:06

really unrealistic. And I think that's what

13:08

people took issue with is it has

13:11

like this sort of happy ending where

13:13

the character who is being abused in

13:15

this relationship when she comes forward to

13:17

the sister of her abuser who is

13:20

her best friend, she's met with so

13:22

much support and validation. And when she

13:24

comes forward to her family and friends,

13:27

she receives all this support and validation,

13:29

she gets kind of rescued by a

13:31

former partner, and at the end, it's

13:33

like a happy ending where the abuser

13:36

just kind of is like leaving her

13:38

alone and she and the baby get

13:40

to go on and like... have their

13:42

fairy tale ending. And I think that

13:45

that sequence of events is unrealistic for

13:47

a lot of people who experience domestic

13:49

violence. That's why I think people took

13:51

issue with the source material and it's

13:54

deeply ironic. that this

13:56

is the text real

13:58

all of these real

14:00

life events are

14:03

being juxtaposed with this

14:05

story about domestic

14:07

violence that's been heavily

14:09

criticized. Yeah, a little a

14:11

little bit of foreshadowing, you know,

14:14

and I promise we'll keep this

14:16

moving. You guys know brevity is

14:18

not my strength, nor is it not

14:20

We can yap forever, but can yap

14:22

that people, a particular piece of

14:24

piece of anti-blank lively, anti -Blake

14:26

Lively content that's circulated

14:28

heavily. On the cover

14:30

of the book, it ends with us. are

14:33

There are flowers. as a Flowers

14:35

were a visual motif were heavily

14:37

integrated into the marketing campaign

14:39

around the movie. Oppenheimer, pink, black. Oppenheimer, is

14:41

now trying to be this movie is now

14:43

trying to be this now of

14:46

in -person event now that you

14:48

do with your friends and

14:50

you dress up it's themed. I don't think that

14:52

don't think that that marketing

14:54

tactic should have ever been applied

14:56

to this movie. movie, but nonetheless.

14:58

it was. was there was

15:01

an interview where Blake is

15:03

doing promotion and she

15:05

is like, get get your florals

15:07

on and come on down

15:09

to the movies. to the And people

15:11

were like, why are you

15:13

talking about a movie this this

15:15

subject matter that way? way? And on And

15:18

on its face, I I was

15:20

like, yeah, I mean, mean, it's pretty

15:22

tasteless, but also as with

15:24

everything, the criticism went criticism far. too

15:26

far. was really weird to

15:28

me to me because this extreme criticism

15:30

of of Blake Lively in regards to to

15:32

whole situation struck me as

15:35

really as really odd really targeted

15:37

because I feel like compared

15:39

to how people talk about

15:41

and react to other press

15:43

cycles for other movies that

15:45

discuss sensitive topics, I was I

15:47

was like, why is everyone

15:50

focusing and hyper fixating on

15:52

this one thing that this

15:54

woman said about this movie movie?

15:56

Like, have been. been tons of

15:58

of popular movies. that deal

16:00

with issues of domestic violence, maybe

16:02

not as heavily as this one.

16:04

But like, for example, I remember

16:06

the movie Hit Ann, which like

16:09

came out also last year and

16:11

was super popular and had Glenn

16:13

Powell. The main female character in

16:15

that movie is also experiencing an

16:17

abusive relationship. And similarly, like, everyone

16:19

loves Glenn Powell and they, you

16:21

know, joked about not that necessarily,

16:23

but like the press tour for

16:25

the movie was super fun and

16:27

light-hearted and people didn't. to my

16:30

knowledge, take issue with that. So

16:32

it just struck me as weird

16:34

that people were choosing to be

16:36

so critical about this movie and

16:38

Blake Lily specifically, and it was

16:40

just like, why do people care

16:42

so much about this? The other

16:44

thing that struck me as weird

16:46

is I think that sensitivity around

16:48

domestic violence is really important, but

16:51

it's not something that I've come

16:53

to expect from the internet or

16:55

from people in general. Generally speaking,

16:57

people are not sensitive around topics

16:59

of domestic violence. So it was

17:01

almost like this wasn't an opinion

17:03

that people would normally have unless

17:05

they were seeing it everywhere and

17:07

just kind of parroting what they

17:09

were seeing online. Like it did

17:12

not feel that organic to me

17:14

because if people really cared so

17:16

much about sensitivity around domestic violence,

17:18

you would expect that to be

17:20

consistent. around other topics revolving around

17:22

domestic violence. And it's not. It's

17:24

like consistently the opposite. And so

17:26

I was like, what is it

17:28

that is really driving all of

17:30

this hatred toward Blake Lively? Because

17:33

the tick talk that I know

17:35

is not a space where people

17:37

are respectful. around narratives and stories

17:39

and cases involving domestic violence. So

17:41

I was like, there has to

17:43

be something else, and maybe it's

17:45

just the fact that this is

17:47

so viral, that when viral things

17:49

happen, like, virality begets virality. If

17:51

there's a trending topic, people online

17:54

are gonna talk about it, and

17:56

they're gonna parrot what the most

17:58

popular. opinion is. it

18:00

And it becomes

18:02

a cascade of

18:04

the same opinion, the same the same

18:06

opinion, the same outrage and over

18:08

and over and over again. was And

18:10

that was from the beginning, sort

18:12

of my take on this whole

18:14

thing thing, was like, like, is more

18:16

about just repeating the narrative online

18:18

than it is about having a

18:20

real conversation around around sensitivity and

18:23

domestic violence. violence. you and you of

18:25

organic of inorganic, and and organic... as

18:27

it turns out, this was

18:29

not. was a was a very

18:31

good The New York New York Times

18:33

publishes a lengthy report about

18:35

how Blake Lively has filed

18:37

a complaint against Justin

18:39

the studio the studio that he

18:42

owns, which produced this movie called

18:44

Wayfarer Studios, his

18:46

PR basically basically alleging that

18:48

not only was there all

18:50

sorts of sexual misconduct

18:52

and harassment. by Justin and his

18:54

producer on set, set. but

18:56

also that there was a

18:58

coordinated smear campaign against

19:00

Blake Blake Justin and his

19:02

producer bought and paid for.

19:04

for and put into action that

19:07

resulted in so much of this

19:09

viral content taking up so much

19:11

space up even the most unsuspecting

19:13

internet the mind. unsuspecting internet

19:15

I was like, suddenly I was like, that's why

19:17

I why I saw all this

19:19

stuff that I didn't care about,

19:21

to be honest. be honest. Also, I just

19:23

feel this way so many times

19:25

when I see when I over a

19:27

celebrity's a I don't care if Blake

19:29

Lively is a mean girl. care if I don't know

19:31

if Flake is is a mean girl know if

19:33

mean girl even entails, but if Flake

19:35

Lively is not a nice person. but if Blake

19:37

care is not a nice don't

19:39

i care. I don't, I don't, just

19:41

just... Maybe this is a bad tangent. I'm gonna

19:44

cut this tangent. this thing that

19:46

I think about, which I think

19:48

is super relevant I it gets

19:50

brought up all the time, because

19:52

the gets loves how Robert Pattinson

19:54

how particular in interviews for press

19:56

for movies. The The loves this

19:58

idea that Robert Pattinson would bash Twilight

20:00

and that he would make fun

20:03

of Twilight and the internet loves

20:05

that he would like tell these

20:07

like tall tales to reporters and

20:09

then later he came out and

20:11

said that he made it all

20:13

up because he felt that the

20:15

interview questions were so vacuous and

20:17

he was like disassociating things that

20:19

like quite frankly are rude but

20:21

funny. And when a man like

20:23

Robert Patinson conducts himself like this

20:25

in interviews, people love it. They

20:28

respond so positively to it. But

20:30

if a woman were to do

20:32

the same thing, then she's called

20:34

a mean girl. And that to

20:36

me gets at the heart of

20:38

this issue, which is that it

20:40

is a gender double standard that

20:42

un-like disproportionately penalizes women for behavior

20:44

that is rewarded in men. Yeah,

20:46

Rachel Ziegler comes to mind. Yes.

20:48

She criticized the source material of

20:50

Snow White. you're ungrateful and by

20:52

the way you're not even white

20:55

it gets off the rails really

20:57

fucking quickly it happens to female

20:59

celebrities all the time it happened

21:01

to Anne Hathaway like it happens

21:03

to Jennifer Lawrence over and over

21:05

again female celebrities are just held

21:07

to a completely different expectation that

21:09

is totally outsized from the reality

21:11

of what's happening which is that

21:13

as you were saying It doesn't

21:15

really matter how Blake Lively conducts

21:17

herself in these press interviews. It's

21:20

not that important of a subject,

21:22

but people choose to endlessly scrutinize

21:24

the way that celebrity women conduct

21:26

themselves. And it's like, people have

21:28

said this, but they're taking their

21:30

cherry picking examples from a really

21:32

long career, and they're looking at

21:34

encounters where they're like... pulling out

21:36

examples of the worst behavior they

21:38

can find. And I find that

21:40

that practice in itself tends to

21:42

disproportionately affect women, because in her

21:45

decade-plus long career, of course there

21:47

are going to be times when

21:49

she's not perfect. Of course there

21:51

are going to be times when

21:53

she's responding in a way that

21:55

people can take issue with. She's

21:57

a human being, but she's held

21:59

to this inhuman standard. of respectability.

22:02

I would like to like to break quick

22:04

break show to the show out give a

22:06

shout out to this

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you.com over to

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rocketmoney.com let's get back to

23:40

the episode. Should we talk about

23:42

the we talk about the complaint? Yeah.

23:44

So the complaint is 80 pages long,

23:46

and Kat and I both read

23:48

it. We are more inclined to

23:50

reading things like this than the

23:52

source material by Colleen Hoover. That's

23:55

just where our interests lie. our Lucky

23:57

for you, we are both steeped

23:59

in... in... Complaint information. Before we

24:01

talk about the complaint, I want

24:03

to introduce to you the cast

24:05

of characters so that you're familiar

24:08

with them. Kat, tell me if

24:10

I have this right. Blake

24:12

Lively, female lead in this movie.

24:14

Justin Baldoni, her co -star and

24:16

male lead in the movie. Jamie

24:18

Heath, who is the producer of

24:20

the movie and a close sort

24:22

of longtime collaborator of Justin

24:24

Baldoni's. They have a podcast together

24:26

called Man Enough where they preach

24:28

about healthy masculinity, which the

24:30

irony of these things will soon

24:32

collapse. Jennifer Abel, who is Justin

24:35

Baldoni's publicist and Melissa Nathan

24:37

and her PR firm, Tag. Blake,

24:39

Justin and Jamie all have like

24:41

kind of varying degrees of

24:43

ownership over the movie because Justin

24:45

Baldoni is the male lead in

24:47

the movie. He plays the role

24:49

of the abusive character, but

24:51

he's also the director of the

24:53

movie. And he owns his production

24:55

company Wayfarer, which bought the

24:57

rights to the book to make

24:59

the movie in the first place.

25:02

So he's kind of the

25:04

driving force behind this entire production.

25:06

And he has one of the

25:08

biggest leadership roles on the set.

25:10

And he's in this position

25:12

of power that is outsized compared

25:14

to Blake Lively. She also I

25:16

believe has a producer credit

25:18

on the film, but she isn't

25:20

the director. She isn't the person

25:22

who has the rights to

25:24

the book. And I think that

25:26

a lot of people have sort

25:28

of put them on like

25:31

similar playing field when they consider

25:33

this movie. But Justin Baldoni has

25:35

all of these different hats that

25:37

he's wearing throughout this production.

25:39

Yeah. And some people actually I

25:41

would argue even place Blake on

25:43

a higher pedestal because she's

25:45

more famous and rich. But it's

25:47

important to note that Justin Baldoni

25:49

owns the studio that's putting

25:51

this on. And as far as

25:53

I'm aware is accountable to nobody.

25:55

He also has really wealthy backers

25:58

like there is is this

26:00

character who will come into play

26:02

later who has, I I believe like billion

26:04

dollars who is is like funding Justin Maldoni.

26:06

So Yes, like like Blake Lively and

26:08

Ryan Reynolds have like a a lot

26:10

of wealth and a lot of

26:12

power. but But when it comes

26:14

into play, has the most power

26:16

on this set? Blake Lively

26:18

is arguing that Justin Baldoni is

26:20

the one who has the power.

26:22

who has the power. filming process for

26:25

this movie this basically happens in

26:27

two parts, which are pre

26:29

and post and post writers and The

26:31

first part of the filming

26:33

happens in 2023, before the

26:35

strikes occur and shut down

26:37

production. And while they

26:39

are taking a break from filming

26:41

and while the strikes are going

26:43

on, Blake Blake and Ryan raise all

26:45

of these concerns about behavior on set. sexual

26:48

misconduct. and his Justin and

26:50

his producer, calls Heath. Blake calls for

26:52

a meeting she they all reconvene where

26:54

she makes a list of all

26:56

of these things that have been happening

26:58

on set. just And it's not just

27:00

like, you know, no sexual harassment like

27:02

she makes makes a bullet point of very

27:04

specific things that have happened have she

27:06

says says. happen again. and And, you

27:09

know, basically puts all of these guardrails

27:11

in place for when they return

27:13

to filming, you know, say the second

27:15

half of the film or however

27:17

they filmed it. This list is in

27:19

the the complaint and things things on, let

27:21

me pull it up, me pull it up. No

27:23

more showing nude images or

27:25

images of women, including producer's wife

27:27

to Blake Lively to Blake her

27:30

employees. or her employees. Two no more No

27:32

more mention of Baldoni's or

27:34

Mr. Heath's previous quote pornography

27:36

addiction or Blake Lively's

27:38

lack of pornography consumption to

27:40

Blake Lively or to other crew

27:42

members. other crew members. Three, no more discussions

27:44

to Blake Lively Lively and or her

27:46

employees about personal experiences with

27:48

sex, including as it relates

27:50

to spouses or others. or But

27:52

no more inquiries by by Mr.

27:54

to Blake Lively's trainer without

27:56

her knowledge or consent to

27:58

disclose her weight. her weight. Some of

28:00

them get extremely specific. Number eight

28:02

is no more mentions by Mr.

28:04

Baldoni of him, quote unquote, speaking

28:07

to Blake Lively's dead father. There

28:09

was one that was basically like

28:11

no more hours long meltdowns from

28:13

Justin in Blake's trailer, which just

28:15

felt like extremely pointed. Yeah. So

28:17

this meeting convenes and they get

28:20

back to filming. They finish filming

28:22

the movie in early 2024. The

28:24

movie comes out. in the summer

28:26

of 2024, and really the second

28:28

part of this complaint is about

28:30

how she alleges that Justin Baldoni,

28:32

Jamie Heath, and their studio hired

28:35

the same PR firm that Johnny

28:37

Depp hired when he was in

28:39

litigation with Amber Hurd to create

28:41

a smear campaign against Blake Lively

28:43

out of fear that she would

28:45

make public her allegations against him

28:47

and the way that he behaved

28:50

on set. And within this sort

28:52

of like list of cease this

28:54

behavior that's included in the complaint,

28:56

it also includes you won't retaliate

28:58

against Blake Lively for bringing any

29:00

of these issues to your attention.

29:02

And in the complaint, they have

29:05

a copy of this that has

29:07

Jamie Heath's signature on it. Now,

29:09

later down the line, the lawyer

29:11

representing Baldoni has suggested that this

29:13

list isn't exactly what they saw

29:15

during the meeting or that there

29:18

has been some sort of like

29:20

different characterization of some of this

29:22

stuff, but Everyone agrees both parties

29:24

agree that a meeting did take

29:26

place that concerns were raised and

29:28

that afterward Blake has said like

29:30

things on set cooled down and

29:33

everything was fine afterwards Indicating that

29:35

in her view things weren't fine

29:37

before this meeting to me while

29:39

I was reading this You have

29:41

like the documentation that's attached and

29:43

then within the complaint you have

29:45

sort of like a narrative retelling

29:48

of some of the allegations from

29:50

on set and some of them

29:52

really stood out to me at

29:54

like shocking. For example Blake alleges

29:56

that during the filming of a

29:58

scene where her character is giving

30:01

birth she says that initially the

30:03

character was supposed to be wearing

30:05

clothes as one typically does and

30:07

that while they're filming Justin who

30:09

is the director and Jamie who

30:11

is one of the producers are

30:13

like actually we want your character

30:16

to be naked while she's giving

30:18

birth and Blake says that she

30:20

was uncomfortable with this. So According

30:22

to the complaint and this is

30:24

corroborated by Justin and Jamie, Jamie

30:26

Heath like pulls out a video

30:28

of his wife giving birth and

30:31

like shows it to her and

30:33

is like, no, look, my wife

30:35

was naked when she gave birth

30:37

to our child, so it's totally

30:39

fine. And then Blake. compromises by

30:41

having clothes on like under her

30:43

chest. She's like nude in this

30:46

scene. And she alleges in the

30:48

complaint that Justin had one of

30:50

his friends come onto the set

30:52

and play the OBGYN during this

30:54

delivery scene. Crazy. And also she

30:56

alleges that it wasn't a closed

30:59

set. During the scene so while

31:01

she just has like a tiny

31:03

strip of material covering like her

31:05

genitalia There are all kinds of

31:07

people walking in and out of

31:09

the background She's like totally visible

31:11

and that they had live feeds

31:14

of what was happening on screen

31:16

Going to crew members iPads so

31:18

people are able to like there's

31:20

just so much access to this

31:22

scene that's kind of been thrust

31:24

upon her where she wasn't prepared

31:26

to be basically like partially nude.

31:29

And also she alleges that this

31:31

billionaire who backs Justin financially is

31:33

flown in that day to come

31:35

watch this scene. So some of

31:37

the stuff that's being alleged in

31:39

this complaint, I think, is it's

31:42

shocking. And I think that like

31:44

it undergirds this idea of sexual

31:46

harassment taking place on set. And

31:48

it's something that is really lost

31:50

in a lot of the discourse

31:52

around. Well, was Blake lively like

31:54

being nice to interviewers like seven

31:57

years ago? And then you find

31:59

out that this is the type

32:01

of stuff that's being alleged juxtaposed

32:03

with what people were taking issue

32:05

with Blake for. It paints a

32:07

much darker picture. Yeah, absolutely. I

32:09

mean, another one that I pulled

32:12

here, this is from a complaint.

32:14

They were talking about how. Justin

32:16

Baldoni wanted to add sort of

32:18

gratuitous sex scenes that weren't part

32:20

of the script. The complaint says,

32:22

when Miss Lively objected to these

32:24

additions, Mr. Baldoni insisted he had

32:27

added them because he was making

32:29

the film, quote, through the female

32:31

gaze. Although he agreed to remove

32:33

the scenes, he made a last-ditch

32:35

attempt to keep one in which

32:37

the couple orgasm together on their

32:40

wedding night, which he said was

32:42

important to him because he and

32:44

his partner climbed simultaneously during intercourse.

32:46

Mr. Baldoni then intrusively asked Miss

32:48

Lively whether she and her husband

32:50

climbed simultaneously during intercourse, which Miss

32:52

Lively found invasive and refused to

32:55

discuss. Here's another. Mr. Baldoni also

32:57

routinely degraded Miss Lively by finding

32:59

back channel ways of criticizing her

33:01

body and weight. A few weeks

33:03

before filming began and less than

33:05

four months after Miss Lively had

33:07

given birth to her fourth child,

33:10

Miss Lively was humiliated to learn

33:12

that Mr. Baldoni secretly called her

33:14

fitness trainer without her knowledge or

33:16

permission and implied that he wanted

33:18

her to lose weight in two

33:20

weeks. Mr. Baldoni told the trainer

33:22

that he had asked because he

33:25

was concerned about having to pick

33:27

Miss Lively up in a scene

33:29

for the movie, but there was

33:31

no such scene. We could spend

33:33

hours just reading the complaint. But

33:35

one thing that is notable, fast

33:38

forward, last night, at like three

33:40

in the morning I got home

33:42

from my New Year's party and

33:44

I was like scrolling Twitter drunk

33:46

in bed and I saw that.

33:48

Justin Baldoni has now sued the

33:50

New York Times for $250 million

33:53

for publishing this. And I think

33:55

that what's important to note is

33:57

that he never refutes anything

33:59

that New York

34:01

Times published. Times find

34:03

that one of the most

34:05

fascinating aspects of how this

34:08

is all playing out playing in

34:10

the way that publicists and

34:12

lawyers sort of frame things,

34:14

because when Blake when

34:16

Blake Lively filed this complaint,

34:18

Justin Baldoni's lawyer lawyer a

34:21

broad denial, which is typical.

34:23

You see this in, I

34:25

would say, most cases involving

34:27

celebrity allegations. And then And then

34:29

night, when Justin and all the

34:31

all the other people in the

34:33

case, are who are all represented

34:35

by by same lawyer, Brian When they

34:37

file their suit against the New

34:39

York Times, they they go into explicit

34:41

detail about some of the things

34:44

that are alleged, and they're kind

34:46

of saying like, oh, well, this well, this

34:48

conversation happened, but it wasn't really

34:50

inappropriate. Like they're kind of acknowledging Some

34:52

of this happened, but it's being

34:54

framed incorrectly. And so And so there's a

34:56

lot of really interesting, I I think,

34:58

back and forth in how these

35:00

legal documents and these statements to the

35:02

public. to the serving as a meta

35:04

narrative that in in itself is like

35:07

a form of publicity designed

35:09

to make you think, okay, Justin Baldoni. didn't

35:11

do anything wrong, he denies everything. But

35:13

if you are like us and you

35:15

like read for fun, then you're like, you're

35:17

this is actually different. This is more

35:19

nuanced. They're sort of acknowledging that some

35:21

of this happened. They're just trying to

35:23

sort of reclassify it. to sort of So

35:25

the first half of the complaint

35:27

really focuses on all of the bad

35:29

bad on set. on And the second

35:32

half is about the smear campaign, which

35:34

ensued. you Would you like to take

35:36

the here I feel like this is

35:38

your bread and butter. bread and is

35:40

a really fascinating kind of peek

35:42

under the hood of what

35:44

happens in the world of Hollywood

35:46

of Hollywood PR it's stuff that we

35:48

normally would not be privy

35:50

to be privy behind the scenes scenes

35:52

from from the The sexual harassment that

35:54

Blake lively alleged you had kind

35:56

of like a war of

35:59

the of the PR happening where Justin Baldoni's

36:01

initial publicist, who is a woman

36:03

by the name of Stephanie Jones,

36:05

who runs her own really successful

36:07

PR firm called Jones Works, she

36:09

represented Justin and Wayfair, his studio,

36:11

for years. Now earlier this year,

36:14

one of the women who worked

36:16

for her Jennifer Abel, who is

36:18

Justin's current publicist, she previously worked

36:20

for Stephanie Jones, but she left

36:22

and formed her own sort of

36:25

PR firm. Stephanie Jones alleged in

36:27

a separate lawsuit that was filed

36:29

after Blake's complaint that Jennifer committed

36:31

like contract violations and was stealing

36:33

clients out from under her and

36:36

one of those clients is Justin

36:38

Baldoni. There's a lot of lawsuits

36:40

here and I hope you're taking

36:42

notes because there will be a

36:44

test. It's really complicated and it's

36:46

so interesting because I think that

36:49

normally the assumption is like oh

36:51

the public wouldn't care about this

36:53

type of stuff but this case

36:55

is really showing that people are

36:57

just as interested in the behind-the-scenes

37:00

publicists as they are in some

37:02

of these like minor celebrity figures.

37:04

Well, because I think that people

37:06

are realizing, and for me the

37:08

moment that I realize this was

37:10

the amber herd trial, how much

37:13

public opinion first about celebrities, but

37:15

also perhaps about bigger things, perhaps

37:17

about politics. can be shaped by

37:19

these teams of PR people who

37:21

are run by people who we

37:24

don't know. I didn't know who

37:26

Jennifer Abel was two weeks ago.

37:28

Right. I didn't know who Melissa

37:30

Nathan was two weeks ago. And

37:32

yet millions of people online have

37:35

formed opinions and made viral content

37:37

based off of these opinions that

37:39

have been shaped by a group

37:41

of people who are just in

37:43

a slack channel with each other

37:45

deciding how they're going to shape

37:48

a public narrative. As a journalist

37:50

who has covered entertainment topics throughout

37:52

my career, I feel like I'm

37:54

more privy to sort of the

37:56

machinations of how Hollywood PR and

37:59

PR in general works than members.

38:01

of the general public and I

38:03

think that there's kind of like

38:05

an unintended byproduct of all of

38:07

this where I think that it's

38:10

good that people are able to

38:12

see how some of this stuff

38:14

works behind the scenes, because a

38:16

lot of how it works is

38:18

you have publicists reaching out to

38:20

journalists and feeding them information off

38:23

the record or on background that

38:25

then informs articles in places like

38:27

T.M.Z. and the Daily Mail and

38:29

the New York Times, and then

38:31

the audience reads that stuff, but

38:34

they don't really see how the

38:36

sausage gets made. And through this,

38:38

we're able to kind of see

38:40

how it starts with Justin Baldoni's

38:42

publicist. and then it becomes like

38:44

an article in page six. Where

38:47

my dad picks it up. Yes,

38:49

literally. The reason why we have

38:51

sort of this unprecedented access to

38:53

this, and a lot of what's

38:55

been going on, going viral online

38:58

around this are these screenshots of

39:00

text messages that Justin Baldoni's PR

39:02

team are sending each other. And

39:04

the reason we have these text

39:06

messages, the reason that they're in

39:09

the complaint, is because Stephanie Jones

39:11

complied with a subpoena, where she,

39:13

former boss of Jennifer Abel, confiscates

39:15

work phone, Stephanie, like, you know,

39:17

Jennifer. We're talking about like

39:20

the third subplot lawsuit and cats

39:22

like the most excited she's ever

39:24

been about anything. So, trumping at

39:26

the bit. It's so crazy and

39:28

I could go so deep into

39:30

it but I won't because we're

39:32

limited in the amount of time

39:34

we have. I mean, well, ish.

39:36

So Jennifer Abel, while she's leaving

39:38

Stephanie Jones' PR firm to start

39:41

her own competing PR firm, her

39:43

phone basically gets seized. And because

39:45

of a subpoena process that is

39:47

like a quid pro quo between

39:49

Blake Lively and Stephanie Jones, they

39:51

get these text messages and they're

39:53

able to put them in this

39:55

complaint that's released to the public.

39:57

I've talked a little bit about

39:59

this complaint and the ensuing lawsuits

40:01

on Instagram and I did get

40:04

a number of comments from people

40:06

who I would imagine did not

40:08

want this all to be true.

40:10

Who were like, well, those text

40:12

screenshots could have easily been fabricated.

40:14

I get why people think that,

40:16

but what you have to understand

40:18

is this isn't like influencer drama,

40:20

where people aren't beholden to any

40:22

sort of ethical standards or standard

40:25

of proof or accuracy. When you're

40:27

talking about a legal venue, The

40:29

lawyers who submitted this complaint on

40:31

behalf of Blake Lively, if they

40:33

fabricated text messages, they could lose

40:35

their legal licenses. It would be

40:37

really unlikely for a separate lawyer

40:39

who was hired to do something

40:41

that would put their entire credential

40:43

in jeopardy. And we now know,

40:45

because we have responses, that these

40:48

aren't... fabricated text messages. They are

40:50

real. Now, Justin's lawyer, who's also

40:52

representing his publicists, they argue that

40:54

these are cherry-picked, that they're taken

40:56

out of context, that they don't

40:58

include emogies or tap back reactions

41:00

or preceding text messages that maybe

41:02

changed the context around them. But

41:04

we know that these are real

41:06

text messages, and they don't contest

41:09

all of them. Like, there are

41:11

a few of them where they're

41:13

like, oh, well, you didn't add

41:15

this emoji. You cut the emoji

41:17

out. But they don't say that

41:19

about all of them. There's a

41:21

lot of text messages that they're

41:23

not contesting, that reveal how articles

41:25

were shaped. Do you want to

41:27

explain basically how he hires? Like,

41:30

first of all, what is tag

41:32

and how he hires them? And

41:34

like, why? Am I putting too

41:36

much on you? No, no, no.

41:38

So Jennifer Abel, like I said,

41:40

she used to work for Stephanie

41:42

Jones and over the course of

41:44

this summer she forms her own

41:46

separate PR agency and pulls Justin

41:48

over as a client. Now Jennifer

41:50

Abel separately is working with another

41:53

public company. assist named Melissa

41:55

Nathan. Melissa Nathan

41:57

is the owner

41:59

and the founder

42:01

of is group,

42:03

which is is the

42:05

And Melissa Nathan

42:07

is the person

42:09

who's previously represented previously

42:11

She's previously represented

42:14

Drake. She's previously

42:16

represented a number of people

42:18

involved in the Trump administration

42:20

and the Trump family. She

42:22

previously represented like Tiffany Trump.

42:24

Trump. you just explain like on

42:26

the highest level for someone who's

42:28

really tapped out of all of

42:30

this? Like out the job of a

42:32

PR person job of a PR is? like

42:34

there are a lot of different

42:36

types of PR, is public relations. which

42:38

is Melissa Nathan is a Melissa publicist.

42:40

so this is interesting because even

42:42

within the world of crisis communications,

42:44

there are different types of crisis

42:46

of crisis professionals. What need a

42:49

Trump need person? PR person for?

42:51

Well, I guess. Cats like, how much time do

42:53

you have? You know, I went to how

42:55

much time do you have? and

42:57

in my You know, I went to

42:59

school for journalism of different my

43:01

journalism school and in a lot of

43:03

different journalism schools, or you can study

43:05

journalism Like, you can study PR. separate Like there

43:08

are two separate tracks. from And they

43:10

come from like a similar place

43:12

where it's you're communicating information to the

43:14

public. That's your job. job. As a As

43:16

a journalist, you ideally beholden are not

43:18

beholden to anyone's have You don't have

43:20

conflicts of interests. You're speaking for the

43:22

greater public and you're speaking for

43:24

the greater good. for As a PR

43:26

person, you are beholden to a specific

43:28

interest which is the person who

43:30

hired you or the company or the

43:32

entity. And so so who is a

43:35

public figure and increasingly and figures too.

43:37

will employ PR people to

43:39

help shape narratives and convey

43:41

information to the public and

43:43

other kinds of stakeholders. kinds of

43:46

And crisis work is sort

43:48

of based in the idea

43:50

that if you have a

43:52

negative public reputation or something

43:54

happens happens puts your business or

43:56

your reputation or the narrative around

43:58

you in Jeopardy! then you hire someone

44:01

like this to help you course correct

44:03

and change how the public or stakeholders

44:05

view you. And so crisis and PR

44:08

are not inherently bad. There are tons

44:10

of cases where people are employed to

44:12

do things like PR. It's not something

44:14

that you would think of as nefarious.

44:17

And similar to journalism, people have, you

44:19

know, like a growing distrust and growing

44:21

sort of negative view of this entire

44:23

industry, which I think a lot of

44:26

people who work in this industry would

44:28

say is like really unfair. But when

44:30

you have stuff like this happen, it

44:32

paints sort of a broader brush over

44:35

what crisis PR is. And so... over

44:37

the past week, I've talked to some

44:39

of the crisis professionals who I've used

44:41

as sources in previous articles, and they've

44:44

talked about how like crisis PR itself

44:46

also isn't inherently nefarious. A lot of

44:48

times, if you own like a major

44:50

company or if you're a politician or

44:53

if you're a relative of a politician,

44:55

you might hire a crisis publicist before

44:57

anything bad happens. Like you might hire

44:59

a crisis strategist to help you plan.

45:02

for if someone goes online and spreads

45:04

some nasty made up rumor about you,

45:06

how are you going to respond to

45:08

that? That's what a crisis PR person

45:11

would help you with. Crisis publicity in

45:13

Hollywood is kind of a different beast

45:15

because Hollywood, which also now encapsulates things

45:18

like influencers, the narrative oftentimes is the

45:20

product. If you're an influencer, your whole

45:22

job is how the world perceives you.

45:24

And it increasingly as any type of

45:27

celebrity. your whole product is yourself and

45:29

how the world around you people on

45:31

social media perceive you. And so crisis

45:33

publicity is something that is commonly referred

45:36

to a lot of times as spin,

45:38

which is like if there's stories out

45:40

there, how do we change those stories

45:42

or how do we put stories out

45:45

there in a way that makes our

45:47

client look good? Or in this case,

45:49

how do we put stories out there

45:51

that makes someone our client? had an

45:54

altercation with, looked bad. So Justin hires

45:56

this PR team, led by Melissa Nathan,

45:58

and long story short, not that short,

46:00

I know we've been recording for an

46:03

hour already, but it's incredibly successful. They

46:05

see the backlash that Blake Lively is

46:07

getting for promoting the movie in this

46:09

light-hearted way, right, telling people to go

46:12

wear florals. Meanwhile, the public is not

46:14

made aware until recently that promoting this

46:16

movie in a light-hearted way was in

46:18

the marketing materials provided by the distributor

46:21

of the movie. So Blake Lively was

46:23

contractually obligated to maintain that tone in

46:25

her promotional interviews, but never mind that.

46:27

Justin Baldoni and his PR team are

46:30

like, well, if the public is responding

46:32

so badly to that, We are going

46:34

to focus our social media content, just

46:37

in social media and content, entirely on

46:39

the seriousness of domestic violence. So much

46:41

so that there's a text in here

46:43

that Justin sends to his PR team.

46:46

He proposes the idea, and I thought

46:48

this was fucking crazy, he proposes the

46:50

idea of collecting DMs that his followers

46:52

can send to him, survivors of domestic

46:55

violence, that he can then publish to

46:57

promote the movie. Even his own team

46:59

are like Justin you're doing way too

47:01

much. This is this is not a

47:04

good idea So they didn't follow through

47:06

with that one, but they Seed all

47:08

of these articles in different publications like

47:10

the New York Post where Melissa Nathan

47:13

the head of this PR firm has

47:15

a sister who is an editor there

47:17

which was also crazy. Yeah, there are

47:19

price negotiations between Justin Baljoni's camp and

47:22

Tag, and I think it looks like

47:24

they paid somewhere between $75,000 and $175,000

47:26

for this treatment, which, to be honest,

47:28

given how huge this got, doesn't sound

47:31

like a lot of money to me.

47:33

Like I would have thought it was

47:35

like millions. So Tag. and Justin Baldoni

47:37

and Jamie Heath and

47:40

Jennifer Abel, They're all

47:42

extremely successful in

47:44

this effort, and there

47:46

are these texts these

47:49

Justin Justin the PR

47:51

people that are

47:53

published in Blake in Blake

47:56

Lively's one where Melissa

47:58

Nathan says, Nathan doesn't

48:00

realize how lucky

48:02

he is right now.

48:05

right We need to

48:07

press on him

48:09

just how how lucky

48:11

he is. And here,

48:14

I I believe she's

48:16

referring to the

48:18

allegations Blake made against

48:20

him, the whispering

48:23

in the ear, the

48:25

sexual connotations, like

48:27

Jesus fucking Christ. fucking Christ,

48:29

other the crew the feeling uncomfortable

48:31

watching it, I mean, there is

48:34

just so much. In other In

48:36

she writes, she the socials are

48:38

really, really ramping up. ramping

48:40

actually sad because it just shows you

48:42

how people really want to hate

48:44

on women. hate on women. And I thought

48:46

that was sad. sad. Yeah. This is This

48:48

is PR person, a PR person, a

48:51

woman, weaponizing people against another

48:53

woman. her job and it's her job. to

48:55

other women communicating to other women

48:57

that she's doing this with. so

48:59

about how sad it is that they're

49:02

so successful in this effort, so I don't

49:04

know. There's so much here. And could be three

49:06

episode could be three million hours we're the

49:08

rate we're going, might be. But I really was wondering with

49:10

really was wondering Melissa where Melissa says says

49:12

it just goes to show you how willing

49:14

people are to hate women. I was I

49:16

was like, like is it like to the pillow

49:19

your head on the pillow every night and

49:21

know that this is your job? I think it's

49:23

really I think it's really interesting

49:25

that in the response from the

49:27

lawyer who represents Melissa Nathan and

49:29

Justin Abel, and Jennifer Abel, they are

49:31

really harping on the fact well,

49:33

like, oh, well, they didn't actually

49:35

do all of this bad stuff

49:37

to shift the narrative. The The narrative

49:39

just organically developed because of misogyny.

49:41

They say that like, oh well brought

49:43

all of this on herself. It

49:45

was all organically responding to things

49:48

that Blake did. to things fault. did, it's

49:50

yada, yada. fault, I do think that

49:52

there is think be said something

49:54

the fact that over and

49:56

over and over again on

49:58

social media media, people willingly do engage

50:00

in these sort of misogynistic slants.

50:02

Like Justin's lawyer argues that the

50:05

stories they discuss in these text

50:07

messages weren't actually always a result

50:09

of their efforts. We do know

50:11

that like they're being paid sums

50:14

of money to have conversations with

50:16

journalists who work for outlets like

50:18

the Daily Mail, who work for

50:20

outlets like TMZ. And if you

50:23

read these outlets or if you

50:25

know about these outlets, they traffic.

50:27

in negative, salacious stories about celebrity

50:29

women. But the online social media

50:31

response is so much bigger than

50:34

that. And I think a lot

50:36

of it is authentically fueled by

50:38

people's underlying double standards and expectations

50:40

for women. Yeah, it's like this

50:43

inorganic calculated strategy to dog pile

50:45

on a woman plays well into

50:47

the hands of organic. yes misogyny

50:49

that is already taking place online

50:52

especially fueled by page six in

50:54

the daily mail but also tick-talk

50:56

comments yes like I was revisiting

50:58

some of the tick talks about

51:00

this and it's like a lot

51:03

of tick-talkers have responded to this

51:05

and a lot of content creators

51:07

have responded to all of this

51:09

by saying I didn't make negative

51:12

content about Blake Lively, nor did

51:14

I hold a negative opinion of

51:16

her because anyone told me to,

51:18

or anyone paid me to. I

51:21

just felt that way about her.

51:23

And I think multiple things can

51:25

be true at once. For example,

51:27

I was watching this one Tiktok

51:29

from over the summer, I don't

51:32

know if I can say this,

51:34

so stop me if I can't

51:36

say this. This woman called Blake

51:38

Lively, a Kantosaurus, a Kantosaurus. And

51:41

I'm like, well, yeah. I think

51:43

you can say it. It's not

51:45

a real word. Right. I'm like,

51:48

well, yeah, no one told you

51:50

to say that. But the fact

51:52

that you would use that word

51:54

as a descriptor at all is

51:56

indicative that we have this invented

51:58

language. Like we're constantly inventing new

52:01

ways to negatively. characterize women. Not

52:03

a condescore. I was like, what?

52:05

And it's funny because I saw

52:07

separately someone referred to Justin Baldoni.

52:09

I can't remember what word they

52:11

used, but they used like a

52:14

negative word to describe him in

52:16

a readic comment. And someone responded

52:18

in was like, do you really

52:20

think it's fair to like characterize

52:22

him in this negative way when

52:24

we don't know all the facts?

52:27

No one in the comments of

52:29

that Tik talk. was like, is

52:31

it really fair to use this

52:33

language about like lively? People were

52:35

eating it up. There's this culture

52:37

of mass participation in dog piling

52:39

of women specifically, where the very

52:42

criticism of Blake Lively as being

52:44

like a mean girl or a

52:46

negative person is so reflected in

52:48

the way that people are actually

52:50

responding to her. Like the language

52:52

and the excitement and everyone piling

52:55

onto her is the exact behavior

52:57

that they're purporting to criticize in

52:59

her, but it's actually the behavior

53:01

of the mob. And just to

53:03

be clear, all of this is

53:05

happening, this whole coordinated campaign. This

53:08

is not because they were like,

53:10

we should pay $100,000 to make

53:12

people hate Blake lively a little

53:14

bit for fun. It is because

53:16

they are afraid that she will

53:18

make public her allegations against him

53:21

and the way that he behaved

53:23

on set. And their goal in

53:25

all of this is discrediting her

53:27

in the public eye and making

53:29

her so unlikable to the point

53:31

where... it would be useless for

53:34

her to try to come forward.

53:36

There's this phenomenon when we look

53:38

at gender violence where when someone

53:40

is victimized, before they even come

53:42

forward, before they even express to

53:44

anyone that they feel as though

53:47

they were victimized in a situation,

53:49

perpetrators will seek to undermine their

53:51

character publicly. to discredit them before

53:53

an allegation even comes out. We

53:55

see this in cases ranging from

53:57

campus sexual assault to cases involving

53:59

cultural moments. It's a tried and

54:02

true tactic that perpetrators use to

54:04

discredit preemptively so that nobody believes

54:06

the allegations by the time they

54:08

finally reach the public, if they

54:10

ever do. When I read this

54:12

New York Times article and then

54:15

the complaint in full, I have

54:17

basically the same thought, which was

54:19

like he and his people spent

54:21

$100,000 to do what is so

54:23

commonly done for free on a

54:25

much smaller community-based level by abusive

54:28

people to discredit, right? Spreading rumors,

54:30

making someone out to be an

54:32

uncredible person so that you can

54:34

get off the hook. And that's

54:36

one of the many reasons why

54:38

I was like, no, this is

54:41

not just a celebrity story, because

54:43

when we buy into the smear

54:45

campaign, which Again, I think this

54:47

can happen on a college campus.

54:49

You don't need page six. You

54:51

don't need Melissa Nathan. And when

54:54

we participate in these smear campaigns

54:56

and we don't think critically... about

54:58

what we're consuming, it's a disservice

55:00

to anyone's ability to ever come

55:02

forward. This is something that we've

55:04

talked about before on this podcast

55:07

that I think is a really

55:09

useful framework for understanding a wide

55:11

variety of sort of rhetoric that

55:13

we encounter, and it's called Darvo.

55:15

So Darvo stands for Deny Attack,

55:17

reverse victim offender, and it's a...

55:20

pattern that was coined by a

55:22

woman who studied domestic violence to

55:24

explain some of the behaviors that

55:26

perpetrators of violence use to discredit

55:28

and further harm their victims. And

55:30

once I learned about Darvo, I

55:32

kind of started to see this

55:35

pattern everywhere. not just in interpersonal

55:37

relationships, but also more widely in

55:39

sort of cultural responses to people

55:41

who more are disproportionately victimized. So

55:43

frequently when we have celebrity men

55:45

and women, I see these like

55:48

Darvo patterns emerge somewhat. organically because

55:50

it becomes a cultural script that

55:52

people fall into and follow without

55:54

even consciously realizing it. And so

55:56

the denial stage is sort of

55:58

this idea that even if we

56:01

don't know that someone has been

56:03

victimized, that a woman has been

56:05

victimized or sort of immediately discrediting

56:07

the idea that something bad could

56:09

have happened to her. We're sort

56:11

of not even considering it as

56:14

a possibility in our mind. We're

56:16

immediately moving to the next phase,

56:18

which is to attack, and the

56:20

attacks come in a wide variety

56:22

of ways. But with Blake Lively,

56:24

we see constantly this gendered rhetoric

56:27

in terms of how her character

56:29

is being painted, and it's a

56:31

way that women in particular, and

56:33

especially women who fall along different

56:35

categories of marginalization, are attacked by

56:37

the public, even if it's for

56:40

things that aren't actually bad, like

56:42

being too ambitious or taking too

56:44

much ownership over a product or

56:46

being viewed as bossy or being

56:48

viewed as too much, with the

56:50

reverse victim and offender, you see

56:52

this too, where it's like... Even

56:55

before these allegations were made public,

56:57

the way that Justin Baldoni was

56:59

being framed by the public at

57:01

large was he was being framed

57:03

as this sort of victim before

57:05

we even really had any idea

57:08

of what was going on on

57:10

the set. I remember this whole

57:12

idea of body shaming. Blake Lively

57:14

kind of reached the public over

57:16

the summer. And I remember seeing

57:18

a lot of women feeling bad

57:21

for Justin Baldoni online saying that

57:23

like, oh my gosh, he had

57:25

a bad back. And so it

57:27

was really important that he know

57:29

how much Blake Lively weighed because

57:31

he's like the victim in this

57:34

situation where a woman possesses gravity.

57:36

And it's like you see this

57:38

inclination over and over again to

57:40

sort of view people who have

57:42

structural power as victims and to

57:44

view people who lack forms of

57:47

structural power as

57:49

aggressors and as

57:51

perpetrators, if even

57:53

if logically it

57:55

doesn't make any

57:57

sense. we And we

58:00

talked about this

58:02

at the beginning,

58:04

but it's like,

58:06

it's like because is

58:08

viewed as more

58:10

famous famous wealthier than

58:12

Justin people imagine her

58:15

as having all the power

58:17

in the situation, but when

58:19

you actually examine the circumstances

58:21

more closely, it's like, well,

58:23

Justin Baldoni was the director,

58:25

he was her boss in

58:27

this setting. structurally, no structurally, no

58:29

matter how a wealthy or famous

58:31

a woman is, she's still a

58:33

woman, so she still experiences

58:35

the consequences of structural misogyny, regardless

58:37

of how much money she

58:39

has, or regardless of how beautiful

58:41

and wealthy and famous she

58:43

is. I do think sometimes that's

58:45

missing left's understanding understanding of these cases, especially

58:48

as it pertains to rich and

58:50

famous women, because I think sometimes people

58:52

on the left, you know, especially

58:54

men you the left, will think that

58:56

a wealthy woman can escape the bounds

58:58

of misogyny and gender -based violence through

59:00

her wealth, and that's not true. violence

59:03

through her wealth, and that's like

59:05

to take a quick break

59:07

from the show to thank the

59:10

sponsor of today's episode of today's episode,

59:12

Blue with my supporters over on

59:14

over on it possible for me

59:16

to spend me to hours a day

59:18

going down down... right wing online rabbit holes.

59:20

you know you know what? I put When I put

59:22

it that way. we should all we should

59:25

all stop enabling this behavior. Maybe we need

59:27

need to stop. Land is is on a

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mission to eliminate single use plastic by

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I thought those just like dissolve completely,

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because it looks like they do. they do.

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But actually, they they leave hundreds of

59:44

microplastics that end up up in the water

59:46

supply. I didn't know this. this. Maybe

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that makes me dumb. I I recently switched

59:50

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the product and the packaging and the

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delivery system has no single use plastic.

59:58

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you switch over to like the eco-friendly

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let's get back to it. Speaking

1:01:15

of how people are being portrayed

1:01:17

and received by the public throughout

1:01:20

this entire story, Justin Baldoni is

1:01:22

not just another guy, he's not

1:01:25

just another, you know, movie actor,

1:01:27

A-list, B-list, whatever you want to

1:01:29

call him, Justin Baldoni has spent

1:01:32

years crafting an image of himself

1:01:34

as a sort of professional male

1:01:36

feminist. And I alluded to that...

1:01:39

at the beginning of this They

1:01:41

have this podcast called Man Enough

1:01:43

where they preach about healthy masculinity,

1:01:46

men holding men accountable. Justin Baldoni

1:01:48

has done a lot, a lot

1:01:51

of personal branding, I would say

1:01:53

especially in the wake of me

1:01:55

too, of like how can I

1:01:58

be a model for other men,

1:02:00

which on its face, I don't

1:02:02

think is a bad thing. I

1:02:05

actually think, especially for like a

1:02:07

hot, rich, straight guy is potentially

1:02:09

a very good thing. So he

1:02:12

has this very popular podcast. He

1:02:14

gave a TED Talk called Why

1:02:17

I'm Done Trying to Be Man

1:02:19

Enough. I was looking at these

1:02:21

books and the reviews. This is

1:02:24

such a random video. Man Enough

1:02:26

by Justin Baldoni has an endorsement

1:02:28

from Sean Mendez, who wrote, Man

1:02:31

Enough filled my heart with courage

1:02:33

to do and be better, oozing

1:02:35

truth and love this book was

1:02:38

absolutely necessary for me to read.

1:02:40

If you're like me and searching

1:02:43

for a push in the right

1:02:45

direction, you've found it. So Sean

1:02:47

Mendez loved the book and the

1:02:50

2023 book geared to teenage boys

1:02:52

called Boys Will Be Human, a

1:02:54

get real gut check guide to

1:02:57

becoming the strongest, kindest, bravest person

1:02:59

you can be, and on the

1:03:01

Amazon description of this book, particularly

1:03:04

poorly aged, the book is advertised

1:03:06

as, warning, this might be the

1:03:09

most honest book you've ever read.

1:03:11

Which is just kind of rough.

1:03:13

I read reviews from people of

1:03:16

all genders, frankly, on his podcast

1:03:18

and his different videos and stuff

1:03:20

and his books, from people who,

1:03:23

like Sean Mendez, felt like it

1:03:25

helped them. And I don't want

1:03:27

to have a black and white

1:03:30

conversation about men who make work

1:03:32

like this or Justin's work in

1:03:35

and of itself. And I also

1:03:37

don't want to fall into the

1:03:39

trap of becoming so cynical that

1:03:42

you start to believe that anyone

1:03:44

who loudly professes their belief in

1:03:46

something. is, you know, doing so

1:03:49

inauthentically, I've met people who have

1:03:51

adopted that worldview, and I think

1:03:53

oftentimes it's a worldview that leads

1:03:56

to just total apathy poisoning, and

1:03:58

for what it's worth, like cat

1:04:01

and I are both people who

1:04:03

loudly profess what we believe in

1:04:05

all the time. And yet, when

1:04:08

Blake's complaint broke, there were many,

1:04:10

many women familiar with Justin's work

1:04:12

over the years who had a

1:04:15

really similar reaction, which was that

1:04:17

I never trust men like this.

1:04:19

And this is why we can't

1:04:22

trust men who are really preachy

1:04:24

about how good of men they

1:04:27

are. And I feel like this

1:04:29

is this is part of the

1:04:31

story. Like I think this was

1:04:34

really well encapsulated by this one

1:04:36

Reddit post where someone wrote, a

1:04:38

guy whose entire brand was dedicated

1:04:41

to being a progressive male feminist

1:04:43

turns out to be a creep.

1:04:45

Surprise, surprise, surprise. I'm really glad

1:04:48

that you brought this up because

1:04:50

it's definitely a sentiment that I've

1:04:53

seen expressed by a lot of

1:04:55

people, including like I think a

1:04:57

male guardian columnist wrote this whole

1:05:00

thing where he was like, I

1:05:02

almost puked when I saw how

1:05:04

big of a male feminist Justin

1:05:07

Valdoni was. And although I understand

1:05:09

that kind of knee-jerk reaction, I

1:05:11

also think that it's flawed, particularly

1:05:14

because over the past several years

1:05:16

as I've written and studied abuse

1:05:19

dynamics, I've encountered a lot of

1:05:21

men, not a lot, but I've

1:05:23

encountered several men who have much,

1:05:26

much, much smaller platforms than Justin

1:05:28

Baldoni, who do actually dedicate themselves

1:05:30

to doing this kind of work,

1:05:33

both in understanding abuse and researching

1:05:35

and spreading awareness about abuse, and

1:05:37

also I've encountered men who aim

1:05:40

to educate other men as a

1:05:42

way of you know preventing these

1:05:45

types of situations from happening in

1:05:47

the first place. And I think

1:05:49

that it would be doing a

1:05:52

disservice to this field to paint

1:05:54

all of these men as inauthentic

1:05:56

and all of these men as

1:05:59

having like you you know, a

1:06:01

covert reason why they're doing this

1:06:03

that isn't actually in line with

1:06:05

practicing what they preach. what they I

1:06:07

think that when it comes to

1:06:09

stuff like this, what really matters

1:06:11

is looking at the substance of

1:06:13

what people are saying and doing, rather

1:06:15

rather than just having like a surface

1:06:17

level reaction to any man who

1:06:19

talks about is interested in feminism. Because

1:06:22

something that I noticed when I was

1:06:24

reading some of the things that Justin

1:06:26

the has written and listening to some

1:06:28

of the things that he listening to that the

1:06:30

things that to me that lot of it

1:06:32

was really surface of it was to

1:06:34

the men who I've seen

1:06:36

who have much smaller platforms doing

1:06:38

this type of work. It's

1:06:40

much more research of work, analytical, looking

1:06:42

at statistics, looking at data,

1:06:44

looking at theory and psychology theory and

1:06:46

psychology and politics. And I think

1:06:48

that it really matters what

1:06:50

the actual substance of what they're

1:06:52

saying and doing is I I

1:06:54

think that we have to

1:06:56

actually critically interrogate things instead of

1:06:58

just look at them at face value and

1:07:00

like draw emotional based

1:07:02

responses from things. You tell tell me

1:07:04

what you think but I feel

1:07:07

like part of the reason why so

1:07:09

many many, women had this response to

1:07:11

the news about him I feel

1:07:13

like part of it is that when

1:07:15

you are when some degree steeped in

1:07:17

the language of of and of progressive

1:07:19

causes like causes, like has been for

1:07:21

years for years. You know how to talk about

1:07:23

it in the right way, how to and

1:07:25

you know how to sort of skirt around

1:07:28

your own creepy behavior by cloaking it

1:07:30

in this sort of like progressive lingo, like

1:07:32

you know how to talk the talk. talk

1:07:34

the talk. think that this is

1:07:36

is. absolutely 100% a a real phenomenon

1:07:38

people people language, language, specifically the

1:07:40

language around social justice has

1:07:43

been popularized on the

1:07:45

internet and in the media over

1:07:47

like the past decade or

1:07:49

so. so. Like repeatedly seen people

1:07:51

do this they they learn the

1:07:53

language of a community of a

1:07:56

a specific progressive stance

1:07:58

and they use this language.

1:08:00

while simultaneously, privately exhibiting behavior that is

1:08:02

the very same thing that they're

1:08:04

preaching against. So it's not to

1:08:06

say that this isn't like a

1:08:08

well- explored phenomenon at this point,

1:08:10

but rather just to say that

1:08:12

I think people need to be

1:08:14

critical. We were talking about this

1:08:16

earlier. There's like a really funny

1:08:18

tweet that went viral recently, and

1:08:20

I'm not going to say it

1:08:22

verbatim. Oh, no, wait. No, I'm

1:08:24

pulling up the tweet. Yeah. It's

1:08:26

like one of those internet parables.

1:08:28

People be saying things so definitively,

1:08:30

like man, I think it depends.

1:08:32

And that's it. Yeah, yeah. Anyone

1:08:34

can say like, I'm a feminist

1:08:36

and then talk about how much

1:08:38

they love their wife. But you

1:08:40

have to actually look at the

1:08:42

words that they're saying and evaluate

1:08:44

like, is this substantive? Is this

1:08:47

meaningful? Is this actually aligned with

1:08:49

feminist thought? Are you specifically referencing

1:08:51

the 2015 open letter that Justin

1:08:53

Baljoni wrote to his wife or

1:08:55

he? thanks her for giving him

1:08:57

a child and then encourages other

1:08:59

men to like love their wives

1:09:01

more. Yes! Not the deep

1:09:03

cut. I mean, it's just what I

1:09:05

have to say about that letter. Not

1:09:08

only is it not unusual for men

1:09:10

to feel this way about their lives

1:09:12

after they are pregnant and give birth

1:09:15

to their children, but it's also not

1:09:17

like an inherently feminist position to hold.

1:09:19

You can actually argue that like glorifying

1:09:22

pregnancy and giving birth to children is

1:09:24

like not in line with feminist thought.

1:09:26

Feminism is also like extremely complicated and

1:09:29

people within feminism have really differing views

1:09:31

on like what is feminist and what

1:09:33

is not. So it's really easy to

1:09:36

just be like I'm a feminist and

1:09:38

therefore everything that I say is feminist.

1:09:40

People don't even agree on what being

1:09:43

feminist necessarily means. I think I think

1:09:45

among the most jarring texts that were

1:09:47

revealed in the complaint sent by Justin

1:09:50

Baldoni and there were a number up

1:09:52

there. was Justin Baldoni saying in preparation.

1:09:54

for Blake coming forward with her allegations.

1:09:57

He planned to deploy the neuro divergent

1:09:59

angle where he was like, actually I

1:10:01

was just misreading Q's and everything that

1:10:04

I did to her was a result

1:10:06

of my neuro divergence. That was up

1:10:08

there. But the real one that is

1:10:11

just so jarring to me when considering

1:10:13

all of his quote unquote feminist work

1:10:15

was right when he hired the PR

1:10:17

team, he sent a screenshot to them

1:10:20

in a group chat with his publicists.

1:10:22

of a viral thread from Twitter, where

1:10:24

it was all the times Haley Bieber

1:10:27

has exposed herself as a mean girl.

1:10:29

And he said in this group shot

1:10:31

with his publicist, this is what we

1:10:34

need. This is what we need to

1:10:36

do to Blake Lively. We need viral

1:10:38

pop-grave threads about all the times Blake

1:10:41

Lively has been a piece of shit

1:10:43

to her coworkers or whatever. You were

1:10:45

mentioning there are different definitions of feminism,

1:10:48

but there is no world where... sending

1:10:50

a screenshot of a viral hate thread

1:10:52

about a woman and suggesting that you

1:10:55

need to recreate that about another woman

1:10:57

fits into any of these visions of

1:10:59

feminism. Yeah, I thought that was really

1:11:02

telling and it's super fascinating to me

1:11:04

going through these complaints and looking at

1:11:06

the various examples from like Stan Twitter

1:11:09

and Influencer and TikTok that are being

1:11:11

pulled out. One thing I think that's

1:11:13

like really... stood out to me about

1:11:16

this is like these celebrities are actively

1:11:18

consuming the same viral content on the

1:11:20

same internet that we're all on and

1:11:23

they're picking up what like stay on

1:11:25

Twitter is doing and the effect that

1:11:27

it has. It showed me something that

1:11:30

I already knew which was how consequential

1:11:32

what all of us choose to do

1:11:34

on the internet is, especially in an

1:11:37

age of social media where everyone has

1:11:39

the potential to go viral, regardless of

1:11:41

your credentials and regardless of like the

1:11:44

substantive quality of what you're doing and

1:11:46

saying. is seeing the way that all

1:11:48

of us react and respond to like

1:11:51

pop-crave tweets about a celebrity mishap and

1:11:53

like the PR group chats are ready

1:11:55

to deploy those yes as it suits

1:11:58

their own narratives like I was reading

1:12:00

different takes about this whole Justin Baldoni

1:12:02

feminism conundrum And I found one that

1:12:05

I'm going to read an excerpt of

1:12:07

by a writer called Shea Orant for

1:12:09

Impact Boston. She wrote, I am also

1:12:12

reminded of the man I met in

1:12:14

my first few weeks of college who

1:12:16

made a performance of stopping to check

1:12:19

on a drunk girl who was making

1:12:21

out with someone as I left the

1:12:23

party with him and who signed on

1:12:26

his dorm room door said consent is

1:12:28

sexy. He tried to close that door.

1:12:30

I got a bad feeling and let

1:12:33

him back outside where he promptly ditched

1:12:35

me. He would later become known on

1:12:37

campus as someone who coerced and assaulted

1:12:40

many of my peers. What I find

1:12:42

most disheartening is this. I want men

1:12:44

to be allies. And of course there

1:12:47

are men who genuinely are. But it

1:12:49

seems the louder their allyship is, the

1:12:51

less we can trust it. Which sucks,

1:12:53

but there are a lot of very

1:12:56

loud male voices on social media, sending

1:12:58

messages to young men and boys. that

1:13:00

recruit them to be part of the

1:13:03

problem, to cut themselves off from their

1:13:05

capacity to grow and empathize, to lean

1:13:07

into anger and entitlement, and to hate

1:13:10

women, whereas there are a few adult

1:13:12

male role models who are having public

1:13:14

conversations about healthy masculinity. Baldoni makes it

1:13:17

less possible for real men to do

1:13:19

that work. Men like him do have

1:13:21

a tell, though. It's how they treat

1:13:24

women. Take their words and their politics

1:13:26

with a grain of salt. Set a

1:13:28

boundary with them and see what happens.

1:13:31

Because ultimately, this is how we know

1:13:33

whose feminism is genuine and whose isn't,

1:13:35

by listening to women. Men can give

1:13:38

all the speeches they want, but the

1:13:40

women in their home and their social

1:13:42

circle and their workplace know who they

1:13:45

are. And when those women tell the

1:13:47

rest of us, they are doing us

1:13:49

a huge favor, often at a great

1:13:52

risk to themselves. Men like Baldoni have

1:13:54

made it impossible for men who say

1:13:56

the right thing in public to be

1:13:59

trusted. In the end, the only thing

1:14:01

he said that was worth our time

1:14:03

was this, listen to women. I think

1:14:06

that's a really well-written way of phrasing

1:14:08

what I think is one of my

1:14:10

big takeaways from this, which is that

1:14:13

if we actually want to combat abuse

1:14:15

and misogyny, it requires a group effort

1:14:17

from everybody, not just women, also men.

1:14:20

But we also have to be aware

1:14:22

of the fact that people can weaponize

1:14:24

the idea that they are a part

1:14:27

of the solution to hide that they

1:14:29

are actually perpetuating the problem. So we

1:14:31

have to be aware of that, but

1:14:34

we also can't lose sight of the

1:14:36

fact that there is no moving forward

1:14:38

unless people actually believe in these things.

1:14:41

And I think another thing that really

1:14:43

struck me about this case, which is

1:14:45

so similar with other hate campaigns against

1:14:48

celebrity women, is that one of the...

1:14:50

big driving forces was other women online.

1:14:52

Like when you look at the controversy

1:14:55

around Blake Lively, when you go on

1:14:57

social media, when you look at who's

1:14:59

making content about this, when you look

1:15:02

at who's in the comments, it's a

1:15:04

ton of women, which speaks to the

1:15:06

fact that for women who are relying

1:15:09

on internalized misogyny, you can also claim

1:15:11

to be a feminist while not practicing

1:15:13

what you preach. As we sort of

1:15:16

zoom out here a little bit into

1:15:18

the bigger picture and fit this into

1:15:20

other things that you and I have

1:15:23

talked about, when I posted about the

1:15:25

Blake Lively Justin Baldoni case on Instagram,

1:15:27

I put it in direct comparison to

1:15:29

that of Amber Hurd and Johnny Depp.

1:15:32

And yes, the most surface level way

1:15:34

to do that is to highlight the

1:15:36

fact that Justin Baldoni and Johnny Depp

1:15:39

hire the same PR people to smear

1:15:41

women. But I think it's similar in

1:15:43

a lot of ways. I wrote about

1:15:46

that, and it was the single thing

1:15:48

that drew the most comments on my

1:15:50

Instagram post about this. People said repeatedly,

1:15:53

you're undermining your own argument in favor

1:15:55

of Blake Lively by including Amber Hurt

1:15:57

in this. It's interesting because public...

1:16:00

public support Blake Lively has

1:16:02

been relatively high. there's this

1:16:04

there's this pervasive idea.

1:16:07

nothing like the Amber was nothing like the

1:16:09

Amber I don't think that's true And I don't think that's

1:16:11

true. you And I don't think you do

1:16:13

either, but I want you to make the

1:16:15

case because you could better than I can. than

1:16:17

I can. Not only do I think

1:16:19

that there are a lot of

1:16:21

parallels between what happened to Amber to

1:16:24

and what happened to Blake Lively,

1:16:26

to but they're essentially the exact

1:16:28

same story. the And I think if

1:16:30

people fail to recognize that, then

1:16:32

they're not really comprehending what happened

1:16:34

to Blake Lively what so much

1:16:36

of it follows the exact same

1:16:38

pattern. Both Blake Lively and Amber

1:16:40

Hurd alleged abuse at the hands

1:16:42

of a man in Hollywood. And what

1:16:44

happened to both of them after

1:16:46

that followed the exact pattern. First

1:16:48

of all, First of all, what I

1:16:51

think people tend to forget

1:16:53

about Amber Hurd what they tend

1:16:55

to remake into a sort of

1:16:57

revisionist history about Amber Heard Amber

1:16:59

this idea that she had

1:17:01

a majority of public support from

1:17:03

the very beginning that only

1:17:05

flipped after the 2022 2022 trial.

1:17:07

And we both know that that's

1:17:09

not at all the case. at

1:17:11

all From the very second that

1:17:13

Amber Heard's allegations against Johnny

1:17:15

Depp became public, people already started

1:17:17

hurling abuse at her questioning and

1:17:19

undermining the validity of her allegations.

1:17:22

allegations. literally video of her of her

1:17:24

out of of she got the

1:17:26

restraining order, where people are

1:17:28

screaming at her that she's a

1:17:30

liar. But even before that,

1:17:32

Amber Heard was a target because

1:17:34

she was in a relationship

1:17:36

with Johnny Depp. There was already

1:17:38

online attacks aimed at her at

1:17:40

had a misogynistic viewpoint that

1:17:42

belittled her and attacked her her

1:17:45

for daring to be in a

1:17:47

relationship with a man of of

1:17:49

the Hollywood as as Johnny

1:17:51

Depp. Similarly, in the Blake Lively

1:17:53

case, case, there were reasons that

1:17:55

people didn't like Blake Lively well

1:17:58

before it ends with us. us. Before

1:18:00

these lawsuits became public, we were

1:18:02

all there, we all saw it,

1:18:04

the social media misogyny storm was

1:18:06

fomented in the months before these

1:18:09

allegations came out. So in both

1:18:11

cases, you have this Darvo process

1:18:13

already kicking into gear before the

1:18:15

public is aware of the specifics

1:18:17

of the abuse allegations that are

1:18:19

the true heart of both cases.

1:18:21

In addition to these cases following

1:18:24

the same patterns in terms of

1:18:26

what actually happened, yes, it is

1:18:28

crucial that both Johnny Depp and

1:18:30

Justin Baldoni employed the same PR

1:18:32

person because we saw the same

1:18:34

tactics that are detailed in these

1:18:36

text messages and in their own

1:18:39

defense outlined in both cases. We

1:18:41

know that it's Melissa Nathan's job

1:18:43

to interface with journalists at publications

1:18:45

that covered both of these women

1:18:47

in very similar ways. In both

1:18:49

cases, mainstream media coverage inspired and

1:18:51

influenced these massive online reactions. Very

1:18:54

similarly, both of these took place

1:18:56

in sort of a visual format

1:18:58

on social media platforms like TikTok

1:19:00

and YouTube. And on these social

1:19:02

media platforms. Misogeny is monetized. It

1:19:04

is profitable and popular to tear

1:19:07

down female celebrities, exponentially more so

1:19:09

than it is to uplift them

1:19:11

or defend them. And so you

1:19:13

have a lot of different factors

1:19:15

coming into play with both Blake

1:19:17

Lively and Amber Hurd, but they're

1:19:19

the exact same factors. I feel

1:19:22

like it's really important for people

1:19:24

to understand, and I was actually

1:19:26

talking about this with my dad

1:19:28

of all people, my dad who

1:19:30

is exceptionally reasonable. and willing to

1:19:32

take in new information and adjust

1:19:34

his opinion based on that, which

1:19:37

I love him for. Shadow Dad,

1:19:39

but Blake Lively and Brian Reynolds

1:19:41

have a lot more money than

1:19:43

Amberherd has, and influence and connections.

1:19:45

Inversely, Johnny Depp has a lot

1:19:47

more money and influence than Justin

1:19:49

Baldoni does. And I feel like

1:19:52

it's important for people to understand,

1:19:54

again, I just come back to

1:19:56

this, like, the way we think

1:19:58

about these cases and the people

1:20:00

in them is not organic. Public

1:20:02

opinion can absolutely be bought and

1:20:05

paid for. And some people can

1:20:07

afford it and some people can't.

1:20:09

And I do feel like part

1:20:11

of why Blake Lively has had

1:20:13

more success here is because she

1:20:15

can afford to. produce a fight

1:20:17

like this. Exactly. The crucial difference

1:20:20

between Blake Lively and Amber Hurd's

1:20:22

case is the very thing that

1:20:24

caused public opinion to switch up

1:20:26

on Blake Lively, which was the

1:20:28

New York Times article written by

1:20:30

one of the most well-known Pulitzer

1:20:32

Prize-winning journalists today, who wrote the

1:20:35

story that both took down Harvey

1:20:37

Weinstein and launched the Me Too

1:20:39

movement, which came out in conjunction

1:20:41

with this complaint that was carefully

1:20:43

assembled by Bly Clyde Lee's team

1:20:45

that outlined all the tactics that

1:20:47

were used to attack her. Amber

1:20:50

Hurd didn't have any of that.

1:20:52

There was no... giant New York

1:20:54

Times expose that exposed disinformation used

1:20:56

against Amber Hurd at the time

1:20:58

that all of this was happening.

1:21:00

There was no one with the

1:21:03

platform of the New York Times

1:21:05

that came forward to say actually

1:21:07

you guys are being fed a

1:21:09

smear campaign about Amber Hurd. During

1:21:11

the time of the 2022 trial,

1:21:13

there was such little information in

1:21:15

support of Amber Hurd online for

1:21:18

several reasons. One of the reasons

1:21:20

is because people who did speak

1:21:22

up in support of Amber Hurd

1:21:24

were attacked and silenced. Like you.

1:21:26

You said it. You won't say.

1:21:28

Cat will never claim persecution, but

1:21:30

you were put through the fucking

1:21:33

ringer. It's true. I mean, I

1:21:35

saw it firsthand. The very first

1:21:37

thing that I ever said online

1:21:39

about Amber Hurd is I pointed

1:21:41

out that she had. witnesses corroborating

1:21:43

the abuse that she testified to

1:21:46

during the trial. Just making an

1:21:48

objective observation about any information that

1:21:50

supported Amber Hood's case was enough

1:21:52

to face relentless online attacks and

1:21:54

it was not rooted in emotionally

1:21:56

charged sentiment that was fueled by

1:21:58

misogyny, and it was also fueled

1:22:01

by disinformation. And I think what

1:22:03

we saw with Amber Hurd involved

1:22:05

a lot more of the disinformation

1:22:07

element than what we saw was

1:22:09

Blake Lively. With Amber Hurd to

1:22:11

this day, people still believe in

1:22:13

all of these false made-up narratives

1:22:16

that had even more virality online

1:22:18

than the Blake Lively Stuff did.

1:22:20

When I was outlining for this

1:22:22

episode, you know, I know that

1:22:24

the second we bring up Amber

1:22:26

Hurd, the comments just become, you

1:22:28

know, what about that she did

1:22:31

this and what about that she

1:22:33

did? We are not going through

1:22:35

the entire Amber Hurd trial because

1:22:37

we already did that in another

1:22:39

episode and it was the second

1:22:41

episode that it was ever came

1:22:44

out of this podcast. And if

1:22:46

you want to walk through that

1:22:48

with Kat and I, then I

1:22:50

don't know, you can go listen

1:22:52

to that one. But I also

1:22:54

just feel like people like people

1:22:56

like people who... are stuck on

1:22:59

this like, well, yeah, Blake lively,

1:23:01

it makes sense to support her,

1:23:03

but Amber heard, that's a totally

1:23:05

different thing. I feel like if

1:23:07

you're stuck in that trap. Then

1:23:09

the police are coming for you.

1:23:11

Can you guys hear the ambrian?

1:23:14

I feel like if that's the

1:23:16

conclusion that you've arrived at, then

1:23:18

we're not seeing the bigger picture.

1:23:20

and that whether or not you

1:23:22

will support, you know, someone who

1:23:24

comes forward in the future, whether

1:23:26

it's a big celebrity or not,

1:23:29

is still dependent on how much

1:23:31

you like them and how successful

1:23:33

the smear campaign was. I think

1:23:35

that if you're unable to pick

1:23:37

up on the parallels between Amber

1:23:39

Hurd and Blake Lively, then you're

1:23:42

not going to be able to

1:23:44

distinguish when this is happening again.

1:23:46

to another celebrity woman or another

1:23:48

woman in the public eye because

1:23:50

this is going to keep happening

1:23:52

to women and we know that

1:23:54

it will because it's happened to

1:23:57

so many celebrity women repeatedly even

1:23:59

within just the past couple of

1:24:01

years. Yeah, I've been thinking, I

1:24:03

think about you a lot in

1:24:05

general. But I think about you

1:24:07

because you're someone who reports on

1:24:09

a lot of these cases and

1:24:12

just since Depvey heard you have

1:24:14

Brad and Angelina... you have Megan

1:24:16

Estallion and Torrey Lane's, you have

1:24:18

this, and it's a really, like

1:24:20

once you've identified what's going on

1:24:22

as far as the PR of

1:24:24

it all, and people's willingness to

1:24:27

take the bait every time, there

1:24:29

has yet to be a sort

1:24:31

of raising of public consciousness around

1:24:33

the cycle. Yes. And a public

1:24:35

willingness at scale to zoom out,

1:24:37

look at all of this and

1:24:40

not participate in it next time.

1:24:42

And I think that in all

1:24:44

of these cases, there's two things

1:24:46

going on that complement each other.

1:24:48

One of them is the coordinated

1:24:50

efforts from perpetrators or people who

1:24:52

are accused, which involves. publicity and

1:24:55

it also involves social media and

1:24:57

influencers and content creation and looking

1:24:59

at how the accused party in

1:25:01

each of these scenarios and the

1:25:03

representatives, looking at their public relations

1:25:05

strategy, looking at how they're choosing

1:25:07

to communicate information to the public,

1:25:10

the people who they choose to

1:25:12

communicate that information, the information that

1:25:14

they're feeding them, their own statements,

1:25:16

how social media is like sending

1:25:18

this information out to everybody absorbing

1:25:20

it. That's one half of it.

1:25:23

And with each of these cases,

1:25:25

you see the exact same tactics

1:25:27

and the exact same playbook. But

1:25:29

the other side of this that

1:25:31

is also crucial, which is the

1:25:33

power that allows all of these

1:25:35

campaigns to be successful, is people's

1:25:38

preconceived biases around women and around

1:25:40

victims. If people didn't already. have

1:25:42

biases against women and against victims

1:25:44

then none of these campaigns would

1:25:46

be successful because it requires people

1:25:48

to agree with them and to

1:25:50

connect with them and crucially it

1:25:53

empowers them to take these like

1:25:55

breadcrumbs of what they're hearing and

1:25:57

reading and create their own discourse

1:25:59

around it that perpetuates the same

1:26:01

narrative. And that's what I think

1:26:03

a lot of these content creators

1:26:05

who have responded defensively to the

1:26:08

New York Times article and to

1:26:10

the complaint when people are saying

1:26:12

like, oh, well, no one told

1:26:14

me to do that. I did

1:26:16

it on my own, that's the

1:26:18

crux of the issue. When people

1:26:21

make content online that is designed

1:26:23

to reach a wider audience, it

1:26:25

requires that it fits into the

1:26:27

narratives and the mindsets and the

1:26:29

biases that everybody already has. The

1:26:31

whole point of this is that

1:26:33

if there wasn't already a receptive

1:26:36

audience to this type of misogyny,

1:26:38

it wouldn't go anywhere. And I

1:26:40

think that something that we see

1:26:42

reflected in the fact that. the

1:26:44

text messages from Melissa Nathan expressing

1:26:46

that people really just hate women

1:26:48

this much that's the heart of

1:26:51

this story and that's the heart

1:26:53

at all of these stories because

1:26:55

even though the facts differ and

1:26:57

the allegations differ and the evidence

1:26:59

differs none of this would be

1:27:01

possible if people didn't already have

1:27:03

an anti-woman bias that they were

1:27:06

willing to filter and respond to

1:27:08

this information with. That was really

1:27:10

good. Thank you. And also bleak.

1:27:12

Yeah. I guess I kind of

1:27:14

want to wrap this up by

1:27:16

doing what I often do at

1:27:19

the end of these podcast episodes,

1:27:21

which is giving, you know, someone

1:27:23

who's listening to this, maybe their

1:27:25

parents who feel that, you know,

1:27:27

they exist in a world outside

1:27:29

of the consequences of these sorts

1:27:31

of celebrity scandals, like, something to

1:27:34

do, something that they can take

1:27:36

away from this. because this is

1:27:38

about misogyny and it also even

1:27:40

more broadly speaking is about our

1:27:42

information ecosystem and how easy it

1:27:44

is for narratives to be perpetuated

1:27:46

to the point where something inorganic

1:27:49

is believed organically by huge amounts

1:27:51

of people in the mainstream. And

1:27:53

most frequently, like the patterns that

1:27:55

we're examining have to do with

1:27:57

anti-women driven campaigns against celebrities, but

1:27:59

this can also apply way beyond

1:28:01

that. This can apply to everyday

1:28:04

women and everyday people. It can

1:28:06

also apply to topics that on

1:28:08

surface level, it might not seem

1:28:10

connected to things like news and

1:28:12

politics and areas that similarly are

1:28:14

often governed by the information we

1:28:17

consume on the internet and how

1:28:19

it makes us feel, and so

1:28:21

we should all be more cognizant

1:28:23

of how these processes are playing

1:28:25

out. The second part of this

1:28:27

is the decision of what to

1:28:29

do as an internet bystander, because

1:28:32

really, like we discussed, the comments

1:28:34

that we leave, the content that

1:28:36

we engage with, what we choose

1:28:38

to vote on Reddit, what we

1:28:40

choose to like, what we choose

1:28:42

to share, that plays a massive

1:28:44

impact. What we choose to quote,

1:28:47

tweet. We all play a role

1:28:49

in this when we choose to

1:28:51

engage with it. So I think

1:28:53

at the very least, we can

1:28:55

choose to... disengage from it. You

1:28:57

don't have to go out there

1:28:59

and try to be a champion

1:29:02

of who's right and who's wrong

1:29:04

in every single one of these

1:29:06

cases, especially if you don't feel

1:29:08

like you have a sophisticated enough

1:29:10

understanding of these dynamics, which are

1:29:12

complex. But the very least that

1:29:15

you can do, and what I

1:29:17

think we would all benefit from

1:29:19

doing, is disengaging from these types

1:29:21

of campaigns. You don't have to

1:29:23

pile this type of content. Frequently

1:29:25

what I see happen with these

1:29:27

types of things is once the

1:29:30

opposing party comes out with their

1:29:32

own narrative, like once Blake lively

1:29:34

filed this complaint, people started to

1:29:36

say, this is complicated. I don't

1:29:38

know how I feel about this

1:29:40

anymore because new information is coming

1:29:42

to light. But the correct thing

1:29:45

to do is to draw that

1:29:47

conclusion before we get to this

1:29:49

point. If you think it's too

1:29:51

complicated now, then why were you

1:29:53

weighing in before? I think oftentimes

1:29:55

there's a response to a woman

1:29:58

bringing forward allegations where people say

1:30:00

we need to wait for the

1:30:02

other side, but did you wait

1:30:04

for the other side the first

1:30:06

time you weighed in? Did you

1:30:08

wait for Blake Lively's side when

1:30:10

all of this was happening over

1:30:13

the summer? rush ahead and take

1:30:15

part in this without really knowing

1:30:17

what was going on. I think

1:30:19

if people really want to have

1:30:21

all of the information before they

1:30:23

take a stance, then they need

1:30:25

to consistently do that regardless of

1:30:28

whether the person being attacked is

1:30:30

someone who they feel is right

1:30:32

or someone who they feel is

1:30:34

wrong. The other thing I think

1:30:36

about is like... Social media platforms

1:30:38

incentivize us to just kind of

1:30:40

mindlessly participate in whatever the discourse

1:30:43

of the day is. When you're

1:30:45

scrolling TikTok or any other social

1:30:47

media platform, the design of that

1:30:49

platform is intended for you to

1:30:51

not stop and think about what

1:30:53

you're consuming and what you're engaging

1:30:56

with. And so we actually have

1:30:58

to do something that's kind of

1:31:00

difficult, which is like developed literacy

1:31:02

around these platforms that we're using.

1:31:04

And that applies to all of

1:31:06

us. Like we're not exempt from

1:31:08

that. There were so many people

1:31:11

online who expressed sentiments after Blake

1:31:13

Lively's complaint of how did I

1:31:15

let myself fall for this? Even

1:31:17

people who recognized what was happening

1:31:19

with Amber Hurd were saying like,

1:31:21

I can't believe that I saw

1:31:23

it in that case, but I

1:31:26

didn't see it in this one.

1:31:28

And I think the fact of

1:31:30

the matter is, it's really, really

1:31:32

easy to get caught up in

1:31:34

online discourse and online campaigns. And

1:31:36

that's a lesson for everybody, because

1:31:38

regardless of whether you're invested in

1:31:41

celebrity news or not. media than

1:31:43

this applies to you. Absolutely and

1:31:45

the next time this happens and

1:31:47

it will it will be just

1:31:49

as sophisticated as all of the

1:31:51

ones that have come before with

1:31:54

the added sophistication of knowing how

1:31:56

people have come around to

1:31:58

what happened in

1:32:00

these cases. in these like,

1:32:02

I just feel like we have

1:32:04

to constantly be wary, especially if things

1:32:06

that are posted in places like in

1:32:08

New York Post and then New into

1:32:10

Post and or whatever, which sources the

1:32:12

New York Post. or the same way the

1:32:15

New Johnny Depp was texting his team

1:32:17

and the text that got released

1:32:19

from Depp be heard, Johnny Depp was

1:32:21

not on Twitter from Debbie tweets to

1:32:23

his manager Twitter we need this type

1:32:25

of smear campaign. his need a Hailey

1:32:27

being campaign, this type of smear campaign.

1:32:30

was. The people who are involved people who

1:32:32

are involved in manufacturing these narratives

1:32:34

are becoming more and more

1:32:36

sophisticated with every new cycle, which

1:32:38

means that if we want

1:32:40

to be responsible consumers, be we

1:32:42

also have to become more sophisticated

1:32:44

with every new cycle. It's

1:32:46

like developing new antibiotics

1:32:49

to an ever like developing

1:32:51

new That's a beautiful

1:32:53

matter. to an ever-evolving chlamydia. That's

1:32:55

a I land metaphor. Did

1:32:57

I land the plane there? Uh, Kat,

1:33:00

thank you for returning

1:33:02

to the Thank you for returning

1:33:04

to the couch. having you for having is is

1:33:06

always such a pleasure. I honestly

1:33:08

can't imagine spending my New Year's

1:33:10

Day any other way. Year's Day

1:33:12

a beautiful new year either. It's a

1:33:14

next time this happens New Year.

1:33:17

And coming back. time this going

1:33:19

to have to hear more

1:33:21

vocal fries back. You're going to have

1:33:23

to hear more vocal fries.

1:33:25

What's going to happen?

1:33:28

Where can can people find you,

1:33:30

support your work? I'm on most I'm

1:33:32

on most social media platforms Right now

1:33:34

now I'm on blue sky Cat

1:33:36

Tembarge, which which is the place

1:33:38

where I'm investing most of my

1:33:40

time. I how long know how of

1:33:42

this the final cut of this episode

1:33:44

will be but based on the raw

1:33:46

recording. It's a long one. So if

1:33:48

you've made it this far this far, extraordinarily

1:33:50

Hopefully we can can. put some

1:33:52

new ideas into practice practice don't

1:33:55

know how many more know how many

1:33:57

episodes campaign episodes I have in me. Happy

1:33:59

New Year. You know, this podcast

1:34:01

is like a year and a

1:34:03

half in half sitting down and recording

1:34:05

again recording again a very cyclical topic

1:34:07

just made me reflect about how

1:34:09

far we've come in this little

1:34:12

show and I'm just so grateful

1:34:14

that you've been here for the

1:34:16

journey been here for see what this

1:34:18

year brings. see what So until next

1:34:20

time, I love you time, I love you and

1:34:22

stay fruity.

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