0:18

We've never started like that

0:21

before. You do see it quite a

0:23

lot when we're doing Mike test, you

0:25

say bung holio. Yeah, well I don't

0:28

actually know what bung holio

0:30

is from. I can't remember.

0:32

Is it? It's Bevesant Butthead.

0:34

So it's Beavis and Butthead.

0:36

So it's Beavis's. Yeah, it's

0:39

Beavis's the blonde-haired one. God

0:41

that's terrible. I can't remember

0:44

Beavis. I can't remember Beavis.

0:46

and it turns to me

0:49

and he goes to an

0:51

oat or ego called bong

0:54

holio and he puts his

0:56

shirt over the the first

0:59

half of his head and

1:01

he goes I am the

1:04

great cornholo! I need

1:06

teepee for my bong

1:08

hole! teepee! I need

1:10

teepee for my bong

1:12

hole! teepee! And he

1:15

needs teepee for it.

1:17

Yeah, no, no, no,

1:19

no, no, no, no. Bigel,

1:22

the rapper. You know,

1:24

Bigel? No. He's a rapper

1:26

back in the day.

1:28

Shot. He's dead. But

1:30

he had- I know is

1:33

Martina Navratel. A-L.

1:36

I know is

1:38

Martina Navratelato. Screaming

1:41

laughing because he was a

1:43

gas beavers, getting on budhead.

1:45

Oh nice! Have you seen

1:47

the Saturday Night Live sketch

1:49

where Ryan Goslin hosts and they

1:51

do a beavers and budhead sketch?

1:53

No. So it's like a it's a

1:55

talk show and what's on Heidi?

1:57

Can't remember a second name. No,

2:00

not Heidi Clum. Heidi, whatever. Oh,

2:02

have you seen Heidi Clum's Halloween

2:04

costumes every year? Oh, yeah, she's...

2:06

She's eating this year. Oh, fucking

2:08

incredible. Like... I mean it must

2:10

cost in the tens of thousands.

2:12

She really goes, all ham, I

2:14

enjoy the fact that she's a

2:16

supermodel and doesn't go, well I

2:18

better go as a sexy nurse.

2:20

Yeah exactly, yeah, yeah, I'll go

2:23

as a creature. She goes to

2:25

fucking one of the substance or

2:27

whatever. Yeah, she was like a

2:29

landworm or something as well. Yeah,

2:31

yeah, yeah. No, there's a sketch

2:33

where, so she's like the host

2:35

of a live debate show and

2:37

they get the guy keen in.

2:39

from Keene and Kehl. He always

2:41

forgets a satellite live cast member

2:43

now. Yeah he's great. He's been

2:45

I mean for decades now as

2:48

well. So he's like the expert

2:50

and I think they're talking about

2:52

the threat of AI or something

2:54

like that and any sight line

2:56

in the audience is just Ryan

2:58

Goslin but he's completely dressed as

3:00

beavis with blonde hair right and

3:02

he says and he keeps getting

3:04

distracted so they say right I'm

3:06

sorry can... What is this? The

3:08

guy dresses and she was like,

3:10

I don't know who you're talking

3:12

about and he's like that. I

3:15

don't know. So they ask him

3:17

to move and then another guy

3:19

comes in and sits in his

3:21

place and he's exactly like butthead.

3:23

He's fucking hilarious. Great. When they

3:25

smash it, they smash it. Yeah.

3:27

I watched a good one. Someone

3:29

put up a really good... classic

3:31

clip of Saturday Night Live and

3:33

it's Bill Hader and they said

3:35

this is a perfect example of

3:37

what Saturday Night the I love

3:39

Saturday Night Live sketches where they

3:42

don't make any sense and they

3:44

shouldn't be funny. The best one

3:46

is the David Pumpkins one, the

3:48

Halloween one that Tom Hanks says.

3:50

David Pumpkins. I don't watch it.

3:52

I don't watch it. It's fucking

3:54

hilarious, right? But it shouldn't be.

3:56

It's so ridiculous. And this one

3:58

was... Bill Hader being Daniel Day

4:00

Lucy's character from There Will be

4:02

Blood and it's just a TV

4:04

show where he goes around America's

4:07

diners trying milkshakes and it's just

4:09

called I drink your milkshake right

4:11

but it's just an excuse for

4:13

Bill Hader to do an incredible

4:15

impression of Daniel Day Lewis. That's

4:17

great. I abandoned my child. I

4:19

have a good love Bill Hader.

4:21

It's so good man. But the

4:23

thing is, was he wearing a

4:25

puppy? Nobody about that. You know

4:27

what? I genuinely had an idea

4:29

this week. I partly didn't do

4:31

the accident of time because I

4:34

only got back yesterday and then

4:36

I partly thought, what week, because

4:38

I was gonna, this morning, I

4:40

was gonna go to the garage

4:42

and I was like, I don't

4:44

even know if they'll sell them.

4:46

My idea was gonna be, right?

4:48

That I would come in wearing

4:50

a puppy. Yeah. And then wait

4:52

for see how I put it

4:54

on surreptitiously. Surptitiously. without you noticing.

4:56

And then I would see how

4:58

long during the recording you noticed

5:01

I was mirroring a profit and

5:03

then I'd have one for you.

5:05

Right? And then you'd probably make

5:07

me take it off. But what

5:09

I was going to do was

5:11

throughout the record I was going

5:13

to introduce bigger and bigger poppies.

5:15

Tell I was sitting with one

5:17

of those that people put in

5:19

their van. Just like that. I

5:21

don't have the time. I wouldn't

5:23

even know where to find the

5:26

fucking van poppies. Yeah, the taxi

5:28

ones. Yeah, so yeah, fucking. Poppy

5:30

discourse is incredible every year. Love

5:32

it. What a week it is.

5:34

It's James McLean's week. Yeah. I

5:36

mean, James McLean leans into it

5:38

now. He must do. Like the

5:40

standing away from the rest of

5:42

the X and players. But you're

5:44

not, what I don't understand is

5:46

you're not, you can still stand

5:48

there and not observe it. Yeah,

5:50

yeah, I'd feel strong enough that

5:53

I'd be like, I'm not doing

5:55

this thing. You know, because this...

5:57

We can and Rexham have been

5:59

good about it. Yeah. You know,

6:01

others are. Maybe not so much.

6:03

Scottish football goes fucking mental for

6:05

it. Do they? I don't know.

6:07

Celtic played command yesterday and the

6:09

referee blows for the minute silence

6:11

and then the Celtic fans obviously

6:13

don't observe it at all. And

6:15

what they actually do is they

6:17

actually make a point of not.

6:20

They don't just like scream and

6:22

yell. They sing a song about

6:24

Guy, Kieran MacKinesby, who got killed

6:26

by a British soldier. So they

6:28

sing a song about him. But

6:30

the referee just shites it and

6:32

blows the whistle after 20 seconds.

6:34

So they don't even, he just

6:36

goes, oh, fuck this. Over the

6:38

top. You're not back home. Nobody

6:40

goes to the shirt about it.

6:42

I didn't know even knew it

6:45

existed until I came here. It's

6:47

a performative on both sides. I

6:49

don't give a shit like. The

6:51

thing with most people thing is

6:53

nobody really gives a shot. Yeah,

6:55

nobody nobody actually gives a shit

6:57

Michael nobody gives a shit I

6:59

wouldn't wear it. No, and I

7:01

also don't care if anyone else

7:03

works. Yeah, exactly. That's just a

7:05

thing. Yeah, it's just don't make

7:07

me wear it. It's like religion,

7:09

do what the fuck you want

7:12

to do? Don't cause an argument

7:14

about it. I mean, the stuff

7:16

where like when they made the

7:18

cookie monster wear one on the

7:20

one show. Have you never seen

7:22

that picture? Have you never seen

7:24

that picture? account exactly the same

7:26

time last year. There's a there's

7:28

a Twitter account called Poppy Watch.

7:30

And it's the most ludicrous. It's

7:32

like when the guy comes on

7:34

leading the mascots on a football

7:36

and he's dressed like a puppy.

7:39

It's like a human-sized Poppy, right?

7:41

And he's... Just like we're not

7:43

again, we're not taking the piss.

7:45

This is another one of the

7:47

reasons I didn't want to do

7:49

it because I was like I

7:51

don't want to fucking follow. We're

7:53

not taking the piss. Wait it

7:55

if you fucking want. Don't wait

7:57

it if you want fucking one.

7:59

Kneze it or us. You retreated

8:01

my tweets and this is I

8:04

do not speak. Yeah, exactly. But

8:06

there's a, I mean the ultimate

8:08

Poppy Watch thing was on the

8:10

one show. There must have been

8:12

something the muppets were doing. And

8:14

the cookie monster is on there.

8:16

And they've pinned a Poppy to

8:18

the cookie monster. And the caption

8:20

is just, it's just me remember

8:22

the fall. And

8:24

you get a little glimpse,

8:26

but back down the thing,

8:29

you see a like pocket

8:31

dude dressing the blue thing.

8:33

What's those ancestors? What are

8:35

they in the fucking Battle

8:37

of Britain like that? Me

8:39

love rations! Me love spam.

8:41

Rations? Oh, fucking hell. Me

8:44

love. The cookie was his

8:46

family. Put in his guts

8:48

back in. Put the cookies

8:50

back in. Put the cookies

8:52

back on. Oh

8:55

Christ, oh mighty. That's been in a

8:57

platoon with a cookie mass. The fuck

9:00

is going on here. How badly are

9:02

we doing for reserves? Oh, that's funny

9:04

man. I was in London at the

9:06

weekend, right? And the one thing that

9:09

I think pisses off, I know pisses

9:11

off, I know pisses Garithoff, pisses off

9:13

most people who visit London. I imagine

9:15

not just Scottish or Irish people, English

9:17

people as well, the lack of places

9:20

that are open. after 10 o'clock is

9:22

genuinely insane. Yeah, yeah. Even, I get

9:24

it around, because I was doing, I

9:26

was doing the comedy store, now I

9:29

get it, right, okay, pick it early

9:31

circus, lesser square, very, touristy, right? For

9:33

some fucking reason though, I could have

9:35

gone into the Aberdeen Angu Steakhouse and

9:38

got myself a full fucking three coarser

9:40

at 11 o'clock, but not a drink.

9:42

But I was staying out further out,

9:44

right? So I was like, oh well,

9:46

at least I'll get the tube back.

9:49

And then all I want is a

9:51

pint before I go back to the

9:53

hotel, right? When in our place, are

9:55

you still serving? no we're just kicking

9:58

people out I looked quarter to eleven

10:00

and I was like what the fuck

10:02

yeah how dare you call yourself I'm

10:04

a cone a metropolitan city yeah yeah

10:07

they always show the thing that oh

10:09

but you can buy it in shops

10:11

no I'm sitting a fucking yeah yeah

10:13

I've already underpaid for it's a shit

10:15

hole that's worse too sitting about a

10:18

can in my own it's way worse

10:20

It's way worse, like if you, you,

10:22

it's actually safe for everything to be

10:24

drinking in Poland. Of course it is!

10:27

And fucking, getting the leaving and forced

10:29

to drink in a park. I could

10:31

drink myself in the hotel room if

10:33

I wanted to, I could drink myself

10:36

comatose. They're not going to allow me

10:38

to do that and I pop. So

10:40

yeah, it's, it fucking, oh my God,

10:42

it pisses me off so much. I

10:45

get staff need to go home, just

10:47

bringing different stuff. whatever. I thought the

10:49

tube was 24 hours now as well.

10:51

Oh, fucking, don't you even start me

10:53

with that dirty shit? Sorry, I fucking,

10:56

I fucking loove London, right? Yeah, every

10:58

time, I remember me and while, actually

11:00

got caught, yeah, the last time there,

11:02

where... Do you like the NFL? Well,

11:05

they had the NFL in the Tottenham

11:07

Hotspur Stadium, 70,000 Cedar Cedar Stadium, and

11:09

they've only got one tube station, that's

11:11

about the size of this room service

11:14

in it. No bus lines, they're ring,

11:16

so, you know, you know, you know,

11:18

you know, half hours to get out

11:20

there and then and then when you

11:22

get out let shit whole then you

11:25

go in and we were trying to

11:27

get like a back to Croydon we

11:29

were getting like trains and stuff like

11:31

that and they were like ah this

11:34

one's this one's this this this tube

11:36

station is closed down if you want

11:38

like a late one by up to

11:40

about midnight you'll need to go to

11:43

like whatever King's Cross or some shit

11:45

so you go the whole way to

11:47

King's Cross then you get in there

11:49

and go Last chain's gone not enough

11:51

staff and I'm like, okay, so I'm

11:54

stuck here now Yeah, and then I'd

11:56

like go to another fucking change station

11:58

that then we were like we'll get

12:00

an Uber and they're like, oh, 25

12:03

minutes over 67 quid Yeah, and then

12:05

we're like right so fuck this place.

12:07

Yeah, fuck it today. If you're a

12:09

London absolute cuts fan like let's know

12:12

how shiter is for you because I

12:14

can't I would go fucking mental if

12:16

that was me every single week I

12:18

yeah and I keep getting geez I

12:20

can't go to stand dead anymore because

12:23

twice I went to stand dead and

12:25

people have killed themselves on the train

12:27

Jesus Christ because you were on it

12:29

well it must be not this fucking

12:32

not today So, you know, I was

12:34

telling you, I was going to do

12:36

a use, because you're a fan of

12:38

sleeping airports. Oh, I'm not a fan

12:41

of it. Don't for Vegas. You know

12:43

how you always leave an airport? You're

12:45

like John Ramble getting moved on from

12:47

Stance Day Airport. I have stayed in

12:49

many, many, Dublin. I do a fair

12:52

amount, because at any time, say if

12:54

I do the, I get out like

12:56

a 6am flight back to Scotland, and

12:58

I finish at the enter, like, like,

13:01

like, like, I have the enter, like,

13:03

like, like, I have, like, I have,

13:05

I have, I have, I have, a,

13:07

I have, a, I have, I have,

13:10

a, I have, a, I have, a,

13:12

I have, I have, a, I have,

13:14

a, I have, I have, I have,

13:16

I have, a, I have, I have,

13:18

I have, I have, I have, a,

13:21

a, a, a, I'm always just like

13:23

four hours. Well that's why I did

13:25

it this week because the late show

13:27

I was doing didn't finish till midnight

13:30

and then I was like I've got

13:32

a flight of half seven in the

13:34

morning so but the time I get

13:36

back to where I'm staying it's half

13:39

12 in bed for one I'm then

13:41

back up again in three four hours?

13:43

Fuck that. So we're drinking safe you

13:45

sleep? So yeah well no so I

13:47

left And then I went, I got

13:50

a boss, I got a night coach

13:52

to Luton Airport. Christ, I've never been

13:54

to that one. Oh right, not bad

13:56

at all. And so I was sitting

13:59

there thinking, well, what the fuck am

14:01

I gonna do? I'm either gonna, I

14:03

can't, I can't sit and, I don't

14:05

like coffee. Right, so I'm not going

14:08

to sit in the Starbucks. I was

14:10

like, I can't... Just get here. I

14:12

did what? Yeah, yeah, he just found

14:14

a guy. Can you deliver a terminal

14:16

to? I just helped her fly. I

14:19

paid it at the lounge. Okay I'm

14:21

much a 37 pounds right right so

14:23

I was like right I'm in here

14:25

for three hours I can make back

14:28

this 37 pounds okay so I had

14:30

three breakfasts so I ring in the

14:32

largest free then everything apart from Proseco

14:34

because some some cocky-chap went up like

14:37

I didn't get any pints or anything

14:39

like that I was like It was

14:41

called, it's just called My Lounge. It

14:43

was actually, you know, it was actually

14:45

quite nice. And so I went in

14:48

a, oh boy next to me, tanned

14:50

five glasses of wine in that three

14:52

hours. I was well impressed with him.

14:54

And I just got a seat looking

14:57

out onto the airport that I sat

14:59

and I had three breakfasts. And I

15:01

was trying stuff that I would never

15:03

normally have, like I had a raspberry

15:06

shot. Okay, oh yeah, like a wee

15:08

rasp for a week-y-up. Yeah, yeah, some

15:10

of them I enjoy, like a wee

15:12

ginger shop one. Oh, I can't mix

15:14

them, kind of mix, kind of mix

15:17

belts or something. Yeah, I've had one

15:19

or two them, yeah. But yeah, that's

15:21

all I'll do. I remember being mad

15:23

homophobic about it, and then you give

15:26

me one, I'm mad homophobic. Speaking of

15:28

gay people. Yes. Do you want to

15:30

talk about it? Hi. I wasn't going

15:32

to bring it up, but you seem

15:35

determined beforehand. I'm not determined to shame

15:37

a man publicly. They will shame every

15:39

single episode. But I don't know if

15:41

you guys have seen Elliot writing a

15:44

love story to Adam Rowe. If you're

15:46

talking about Adam Rose releasing a special.

15:48

Adam Rowe release a special, right? Which

15:50

looks unbelievable. Unbelievable. Like the money that's

15:52

been thrown at it's been thrown a

15:55

special. from Adam himself because it's totally

15:57

self-produced and the guy that made it

15:59

well hutchby I've known for years and

16:01

years and years and palsy well like

16:04

over 10 years ago at the fringe

16:06

and he's obviously like you can tell

16:08

the production level has been taken up

16:10

just a notch like it looks it

16:13

looks are the Netflix specials right so

16:15

as we both as you all agree

16:17

as well comics don't share each other

16:19

stuff nearly enough right it's a very

16:21

very competitive petty industry It pisses me

16:24

off in Scotland it pisses me off

16:26

more than anything else because Scotland I

16:28

find is so like clicky at some

16:30

point. It should work it see this

16:33

type of thing you should work in

16:35

Scotland it's small enough and if everybody

16:37

getting and there's an audience. Scotland should

16:39

work like the Northern Ireland scene. Everyone

16:42

in Northern Ireland has pushed each other

16:44

on to the point where at one

16:46

point they were all pretty much able

16:48

to do very big theatres. Yeah regardless

16:50

of regardless of what level you were

16:53

at. That should be Scotland I don't

16:55

think it is like it. in Scotland,

16:57

right? There's a certain group and like,

16:59

but I don't put it out, right?

17:02

And then, so I put a thing

17:04

going, go and check, my one was,

17:06

and Adam Rowe has released a new

17:08

special, it looks incredible, go and check

17:11

it out. And then watched it, loved

17:13

it. And then I text Adam to

17:15

say, that was cracking. That's the best

17:17

I've seen you do. And I said

17:19

one to Will going, fucking hell, what

17:22

a job you have done on that.

17:24

Brilliant. Normal. Uttily normal. What anyone would

17:26

do for someone who's a pal, for

17:28

a colleague, and for someone who you're

17:31

impressed with the stuff that they put

17:33

out. Elliot then, I'll let you the

17:35

screen, Elliot then. I got like. I

17:37

was laughing at like when people go

17:40

way over the top for absolutely no

17:42

reason and Elliot. Do you know what

17:44

I have probably not to that extent

17:46

I've probably been a bit over with

17:48

with friends I have in the past

17:51

I have probably been a bit over

17:53

but praised but we're praising sorry but

17:55

there's there's there's again yes still a

17:57

difference between even that and what Elliot

18:00

did. Elliot if you know Elliot's never

18:02

written anything in his life. This is

18:04

the longest thing Elliot ever written. He

18:06

wrote 5,000 words of, I would love

18:09

to subject. And I don't think. I'm

18:11

not as visual like about it as

18:13

you are but I that's not that

18:15

is not an exaggeration it was about

18:17

5,000 words it was about 5,000 words

18:20

and some of it was like what

18:22

is this because like he was meant

18:24

to be plugging a special and there's

18:26

parts of it going like it was

18:29

a eulogy it was the eulogy it

18:31

was like I died tragically and unexpectedly

18:33

and unexpectedly my favorite my favorite I

18:35

have it saved I bullied him so

18:38

much that he changed it. He deleted

18:40

it off Facebook. He deleted it off

18:42

Facebook, right? Or he changed it. He

18:44

eventually ends up changing it. I've gotten

18:46

so much abuse, you know, I've had

18:49

to back down from this. But my

18:51

favorite, I've had a couple of like,

18:53

little parts saved, but my favorite section.

18:55

There's a lot there. Just to see

18:58

for anyone on YouTube how long this

19:00

thing is. Yeah, I have to scroll

19:02

on an Instagram post. Yeah. Right, look,

19:04

still to this day, Best Night and

19:07

Life, sharing it with Adams, cemented a

19:09

friendship that would last a lifetime. We

19:11

don't call each other or check in.

19:13

But when we see each other, it's

19:15

like we're back at the fringe and

19:18

the three sisters getting the pint and

19:20

watching the footy and putting the world

19:22

to rights. We

19:25

root for each other from a

19:27

distance and all those mental plans

19:29

he told me in comedy are

19:31

not only coming true like the

19:33

whole thing is outrageously funny enjoy

19:35

all that this brings me it

19:37

yeah I love you yeah I'm

19:39

looking for to see Adam again

19:41

and asking him what the like

19:43

I would because I think if

19:45

I got that I'd go I'd

19:47

block him But watch that mate.

19:49

I'd just blog them. They go

19:51

creep. Oh, it's fucking creep. Oh.

19:53

Good. What a great day in

19:55

the group. I don't know, did

19:57

I have anything else to cover?

19:59

I don't really, I don't think

20:01

it's straight into. I want to,

20:03

I've won a golf, I've shown

20:05

to this last night. I've won

20:07

a lifetime golf, I didn't even

20:10

win it. You just were, there

20:12

was a dance that my wife

20:14

organises with all the other folk

20:16

every year, and it's for, all

20:18

the, all the fucking Lewis and

20:20

Harris, all the fucking islanders, right,

20:22

fucking paganistsists, and the, they're a

20:24

raffle and the raffles the raffle

20:26

prizes were shit hot like some

20:28

really class raffle prizes um they

20:30

want the other one I wanted

20:32

from the other one I would

20:34

have liked of one other than

20:36

this one was a hundred pounds

20:38

was a hundred or thousand a

20:40

hundred pounds voucher for a butcher's

20:42

oh my right couldn't be a

20:44

thousand for a butcher's no i

20:46

think a fucking pounds that's a

20:48

good fucking price that's unbelievable that's

20:50

unbelievable yeah yeah and so Shamus,

20:52

my boy, loves raffles. Like he

20:54

is, he is, he is, he's

20:57

got a gambling problem in him.

20:59

Yeah, you see it. You can

21:01

see, right, he loves, he loves

21:03

making money and he loves winning

21:05

things. He absolutely fucking, let's see

21:07

if we go and there's like

21:09

a, there's a summer fair we

21:11

go to every single year that's

21:13

at this local church and there's

21:15

a Tombola. Yeah, it's a big

21:17

Catholic church. It's a huge thing.

21:19

You know where I'm going with

21:21

that, that's a disgrace. Why? Like,

21:23

have you ever done that in

21:25

Ireland? No. Why don't you just

21:27

molest them yourself? Mark. They're not

21:29

the prizes. It's not a fucking

21:31

auction of kids or children. That's

21:33

what on the blocks. I see

21:35

how much. How do that try

21:37

a fun Christmas by selling their

21:39

children and auction? And there's a

21:41

tumbola thing where you just pick

21:44

out tickets and if your ticket

21:46

finishes in a five... Is that

21:48

what that's called? A tumbola? A

21:50

tumbola? A tumbola. A tumbola is

21:52

a fucking little thing that connects

21:54

an island to mainland. I don't

21:56

think that's what that is. Yeah

21:58

it is. You know like if

22:00

there's an island. Yeah and then

22:02

there's like a mainland. There's a

22:04

causeway. Like there's a little beach

22:06

kind of that doesn't really think

22:08

that's a tumbolo. I've seen pictures

22:10

of islands immediately. Yeah, Tumbolo is

22:12

a sandy or shing- or shingle

22:14

isthmus. Gosh, yeah. Tumbolo from the

22:16

Italian tumbolo, meaning pillow or cushion.

22:18

I had a maid called Rullo

22:20

Tumbolo. Yeah, it's an island becomes

22:22

a type of mail. It's very

22:24

well done. There you go. No,

22:26

a tumbola. Okay, you put all

22:28

the tickets in you. I've never

22:31

seen one in the flesh. Um,

22:33

five or a zero at the

22:35

end of your ticket. I was

22:37

like real mad posh. Yeah, I've

22:39

never seen one of those tumblers.

22:41

Um, and some of the prices

22:43

are wild, like fucking bath sets.

22:45

portraited paintings and he but he

22:47

fucking loves it he loves coming

22:49

home with all this like very

22:51

much a wee boy thing you

22:53

love getting shit just any old

22:55

shite and so with this raffle

22:57

he's fucking like the first the

22:59

minute we arrived that was all

23:01

he was laser focused on this

23:03

raffle he's like can you get

23:05

me my raffle tickets and I

23:07

was like alright and I went

23:09

out being about like how much

23:11

is it like a pounder strip

23:13

so I was like right right

23:15

a 20 pound note and I

23:18

was like right you get 10

23:20

And he went, he went, he

23:22

went, why get 10 when you

23:24

can get 20? Because 10's for

23:26

your fucking sister, you're psychopath, right?

23:28

So he's running about, he never,

23:30

he never even fucking, I lost

23:32

our strips at some point. So

23:34

he's losing his fucking mind, he's

23:36

like, how the fuck, because I've

23:38

watched him to hold him back.

23:40

he's going about, he's met round

23:42

him like that. Like it's the

23:44

winning ticket of the lottery and

23:46

he's fucking, I'm not letting go

23:48

these bastard things, right? So, uh,

23:50

prizes were drawn, he comes up

23:52

to me like a fucking dog

23:54

with two decks, excited beyond the

23:56

leaf. We've won, we've won! And

23:58

I went, all right, what? And

24:00

he was like, it's top prize.

24:02

And it wasn't even us, like,

24:05

like, I didn't have any fucking

24:07

tickets, he had tickets. He insisted

24:09

on tickets and Amy's aunt was

24:11

like the get one of the

24:13

guests of honour at this thing

24:15

because Amy's aunt's like a really

24:17

famous well-known Gallic singer. Oh yeah.

24:19

And she'd won the the main

24:21

prize. So I was like right

24:23

don't get too excited because there's

24:25

a good chance knowing your auntie

24:27

she'll say I can't possibly take

24:29

that I'm one of the guests

24:31

please redraw it. She's like that

24:33

but she can't do that. and

24:35

then he immediately goes up to

24:37

her and says like, are you

24:39

planning to make them redraw this?

24:41

She was like, no, no, no.

24:43

I've already said your dad can

24:45

have it. Right. So I'm like,

24:47

no, no, that's, but I was

24:49

doing that very, very false. Like,

24:52

oh, no, I couldn't possibly, we're

24:54

in my mind, I'm going fucking

24:56

yoss. So, so I now have

24:58

a lifetime membership to the Harris

25:00

golf course. Life Time member? Yeah,

25:02

I'll go once. I need to

25:04

be unbelievable now. Amazing. I got

25:06

a certificate came in the post

25:08

yesterday. I've got a wee clip

25:10

that I can put around my

25:12

golf bag. So I think me,

25:14

you and Slos. Oh, and Kyle

25:16

got... Where is it? Glasgow. Harris.

25:18

Harris. Harris is an island in

25:20

the Outer Hebrides. Oh my God,

25:22

that's even better. Yeah. Oh, it's

25:24

a trip away. Like it's a

25:26

trip away. Like, like, like, like,

25:28

it's a like, it's a, like,

25:30

like, it's a, it's a, it's

25:32

a, it's a, it's, it's, it's,

25:34

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

25:36

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

25:38

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

25:41

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it

25:43

You're not going to go right

25:45

there alone. See, it's going to

25:47

be so fucking because I imagine

25:49

other lifetime members. will be people

25:51

that grow up in the area

25:53

and will be very good golfers.

25:55

So that fucking time that the

25:57

five of us rock up like

25:59

a bag of shite is going

26:01

to be... I love it. And

26:03

then it's all going to be

26:05

because they're going to be like,

26:07

I were here with, how many's

26:09

a lifetime member? They're going to

26:11

look at me, taking an iron

26:13

off the first. I went to

26:15

make a bingo. I don't think

26:17

I've ever been a bingo night,

26:19

no. I went to Maccabingo in

26:21

Saudi River, just a bunch of

26:23

conspraying. Yes. yelled bingo and now

26:25

got removed. I went to make

26:28

a bingo, I want a shit

26:30

with his shoes. I wonder there?

26:32

Yeah, I actually wonder where you...

26:34

Did they put them in baskets?

26:36

Anyway, that's for another day. Yeah.

26:38

Right. We're doing Big John Rambo?

26:40

Big John Rambo? First Blood. But

26:42

no, no Rambo in the title.

26:44

A lot of people get mistaken

26:46

with that. Rambo's never been... I

26:48

did. I did when I was...

26:50

Oh my God. Oh my God.

26:52

What? this might be where I

26:54

couldn't find it on my thing

26:56

because I was writing ramble first

26:58

blood yeah and I wrote ramble

27:00

and every other ramble came up

27:02

because the second one is called

27:04

ramble first blood too yeah oh

27:06

Jesus Christ I think I've met

27:08

a narcissist yeah a fucking idiot

27:10

yeah because the fourth one is

27:12

just called John ramble as well

27:15

there's that's the 2008 one yeah

27:17

I saw that in the cinema.

27:19

Yeah. It was very funny. It

27:21

was very funny. It's so funny.

27:23

That one's funny, dude. This involves

27:25

a guy behind a tree. Yeah,

27:27

yeah, yeah. You have inspired one

27:29

stage with like a massive machine

27:31

gun just into the back of

27:33

a car where there's a lot

27:35

of people. There's bits of a

27:37

man going everywhere. I was like,

27:39

this is hilarious. Unloads of massive

27:41

M60 just entered one guy. I

27:43

haven't watched the newest one, like

27:45

two, three years ago. I've seen

27:47

that one as well. That's quite

27:49

good as well. They're all different

27:51

though. Well, see this one is

27:53

the only one that's not ridiculous.

27:55

Yeah. Because even two. Three is

27:57

fucking farcical three he like takes

27:59

down art I was just a

28:02

whole an Apache with a fucking

28:04

Bonaro Yeah, yeah, but even two

28:06

because two he sent back to

28:08

Vietnam because there's still some prisoners

28:10

war over there and he gets

28:12

sent back in a reconnaissance mission

28:14

and the whole plan is after

28:16

PTSD and taking on an entire

28:18

police squad Yeah, we'll send him

28:20

back to Vietnam, but they send

28:22

them back, right? Because he gets

28:24

released from prison on a program

28:26

where because the US government are

28:28

facing criticism because there's still POWs

28:30

left over in Vietnam, he gets

28:32

sent over there but only to

28:34

observe and take photos. And you're

28:36

like, well why not send a

28:38

trained journalist? Why saying the fucking

28:40

psychopathic killing machine? What do you

28:42

think is going to happen when

28:44

he sees his comrades getting tortured?

28:46

I think he's just going to

28:49

go, well I better fucking adjust

28:51

to focus on this one so

28:53

I can really get them all

28:55

in. Like that's me, off to

28:57

boots, get these developed, get these

28:59

boys out of here. PTSD kicking

29:01

the camera. But this has got

29:03

a serious, serious tone to it.

29:05

I realize that there's so much,

29:07

when I watch this, because I

29:09

don't remember a lot of this,

29:11

I remember bits of it, you

29:13

know, and then when I watched

29:15

it I was like, this is

29:17

quite like, there's so much as

29:19

copies it now, and I didn't

29:21

kind of realize. I think this

29:23

is the first modern action film.

29:25

Yeah. Jack Reacher and stuff, but

29:27

it's very much, or the new

29:29

episodes, is all with all of

29:31

all you're into, you're in, you're

29:33

in, you're going on, you're going

29:36

to, you're going to, you're going

29:38

to, you're going to, you're going

29:40

to, you're going to, you're going

29:42

to, going to, trying to, trying

29:44

to, trying to, trying to, trying

29:46

to, trying to, trying to, trying

29:48

to, trying to, trying to, trying

29:50

to, trying to, trying to, trying

29:52

to, trying to, trying to, trying

29:54

to, trying to, to, to, I

29:56

yeah I don't know none of

29:58

that I tell you it's a

30:00

good this is obviously God it's

30:02

a good film I don't know

30:04

I don't know why it's a

30:06

classic character yeah and I know

30:08

and this is probably actually That's

30:10

probably the best I've seen Stallone.

30:12

Ah, it's either, but I don't

30:14

know. And it is, and it

30:16

is great. He's getting the first

30:18

Rocky. He's getting Copland. I wouldn't

30:20

put it anywhere near your top.

30:23

He's good at Stopper, my normal

30:25

shoot. Never seen that. You never

30:27

seen Stopper, my mummo shoot? I've

30:29

heard of it. God, it's talk

30:31

shit. It sounds comedy, comedy, comedy,

30:33

era. but no he is good

30:35

in this yeah he was I

30:37

did like it I mean there's

30:39

a couple of very funny things

30:41

about it yeah like for the

30:43

fact that first of all he

30:45

didn't look even remotely like a

30:47

vagrant no he doesn't look bad

30:49

at all he's long and we

30:51

just has a green coat on

30:53

they just don't like it seems

30:55

to be they're really we don't

30:57

like your type around here mostly

30:59

white guy yeah they don't like

31:01

him but the thing is he's

31:03

not in terms of rambo as

31:05

you say like a character He

31:07

doesn't look like ramble in this.

31:10

No, yeah, you do. The classic

31:12

ramble. If you were asked someone

31:14

to draw ramble, it would be

31:16

red bandana tied around his hair.

31:18

Longer hair, like proper mullet, but

31:20

more muscular. He's not that fucking

31:22

wrapped in this. He's not got

31:24

the veins popping out and shit

31:26

like that. I think this is

31:28

what happens is after this. at

31:30

this escalation that's his second dose

31:32

of PTSD yeah and he gets

31:34

bigger and bigger every time with

31:36

PTSD goes into his muscles and

31:38

he goes I suppose it makes

31:40

sense because after this he gets

31:42

sent to prison so he all

31:44

he'd be doing is jacking himself

31:46

up in prison jacking himself off

31:48

and present jacking himself off in

31:50

prison sizes right on but you

31:52

know he looks like a like

31:54

he doesn't look It's not enough

31:57

for a place man. They pull

31:59

up and they say, they say,

32:01

get your hair cut and a

32:03

shave and maybe. And you go,

32:05

well, he doesn't need a shave.

32:07

He doesn't need a shave at

32:09

all. Like, at best he's got

32:11

two days gross. It doesn't need

32:13

a shave. And the haircut, right,

32:15

I get it, but it's not

32:17

like, it's not ridiculous. No. I

32:19

didn't really get that. Well suppose

32:21

it's this would be I think

32:23

this is what the is the

32:25

anti-american sentiment that was in America

32:27

in around 79 after the Vietnam

32:29

War there was a lot of

32:31

America wasn't a deeply patriotic because

32:33

I think the only way they

32:35

don't think America was a particularly

32:37

patriotic country from Vietnam until like

32:39

Reagan came in yeah it was

32:41

only really Reagan and Desert Storm

32:44

that really fucking ramped up the

32:46

USA kind of that fucking dickhead.

32:48

I do, right, he did, he

32:50

did land in, but it was

32:52

weird for a scene, he was

32:54

out and he's like, you know,

32:56

he should have called ahead. He

32:58

calling it, hey, they mean of

33:00

a landline? But I mean, what,

33:02

it seems like he's, he doesn't

33:04

have a phone, he does have

33:06

a house. He's walked the whole

33:08

a-end to somebody's house and then

33:10

found out they were dead and

33:12

went. Fuck me. I've been fuming.

33:14

That would be enough for me

33:16

to go on a round page

33:18

to walk there and you can't

33:20

see it. I think she could

33:22

have told him earlier rather than

33:24

go through the whole story to

33:26

the point where he gets a

33:28

photo out and goes, these are

33:31

all my best friends here. They're

33:33

all dead. Great, thanks. But as

33:35

soon as he goes in and

33:37

goes, as what's he name, Darl

33:39

or something like that, it's like,

33:41

Darl home, died. Well, it seems

33:43

to me, you've been sitting there

33:45

the fucking rigmarole of extreme here.

33:47

He's not here at the moment.

33:49

Yeah, I see. Well, you know,

33:51

I tell him nothing. Because it's

33:53

not like you're going like, who's

33:55

this guy, wanting to know about

33:57

this guy, because it doesn't matter,

33:59

whoever, whoever it is, you're like

34:01

dead. He's dead. What happened? They

34:03

got the cancer. The cancer from

34:05

Agent Orange. Well, that's the worst

34:07

cancer. Agent Orange cancer. Surviving Vietnam

34:09

and then get cancer. I did

34:11

find a lot of it, because

34:13

most of it's about PTSD really.

34:15

Yeah. And I find that very

34:18

funny. For someone that has it.

34:20

Right? Oh yeah. So I kept

34:22

going. I find someone very fun.

34:24

I was just like, John, have

34:26

you not just tried some breathing

34:28

exercises? Yeah. Are you? Are you

34:30

claiming you have the same kind

34:32

of PTSD? No, that's why I

34:34

found this really funny because I

34:36

was just like, oh man, you

34:38

should just download the cam app.

34:40

Yeah, yeah. Doesn't have a phone?

34:42

Yeah. Didn't have the phone to

34:44

do it. You never lose it

34:46

with your PTSD? Not like that.

34:48

You can lose it in other

34:50

ways. It does, you can lose

34:52

it in other ways. I could

34:54

see you doing that. I could

34:56

love to blame it. Yeah, that's

34:58

quite good thing about you. You

35:00

don't blame it on anything. You

35:02

just go, a prick? Yeah, but

35:05

yeah. Any of these? You're a

35:07

prick? Prick, right? Just, just what

35:09

I am. Just me? I'd be

35:11

like... You can't handle him a

35:13

worst. You don't deserve me or

35:15

best? Just be like... You can't

35:17

handle him or worse? You don't

35:19

deserve me or something. Just be

35:21

like, you can't hand him. You

35:23

can't hand him? I suppose they

35:25

can't actually know what the fuck

35:27

it. and that's what clearly it

35:29

is because half the time he

35:31

could have just went oh but

35:33

it's really that part was good

35:35

when he fucking folks didn't won't

35:37

say anything and like froze up

35:39

that was more like I was

35:41

like ah that makes sense I

35:43

I know how long by the

35:45

way there was a lot of

35:47

this film where I was going

35:49

I was cheering on the cops

35:52

for a lot really see I

35:54

think because because So much parts

35:56

of it, where I was like,

35:58

like, David Caruso, isn't it? Which,

36:00

I, I was like, I know

36:02

that count. Very, very young David

36:04

Caruso. I had a Google, I

36:06

didn't actually see the, the fucking,

36:08

didn't notice the name at the

36:10

start, you know, on the thing.

36:12

And I was cheered, him on,

36:14

he seemed like a nice chap.

36:16

He was one of the, he's

36:18

the only one that he's, he's

36:20

the only one that you can

36:22

imagine that you can imagine would

36:24

have been given a job as

36:26

a job as a job as

36:28

a job as a cop, basically

36:30

love torture. Yeah. So you could

36:32

have gone, how are you, lads?

36:34

Particularly the deputy. Yeah. He's, he

36:36

goes very quickly from arrest to

36:38

torture. There is a lot in

36:41

this. Everybody had made so many

36:43

bad mistakes. Please, and John Rambo.

36:45

And Rambo, yeah. It is very,

36:47

very funny. There's parts of it

36:49

start getting funny. Like, you know,

36:51

I know if the... point is

36:53

he flips out and punches a

36:55

couple of policemen but they send

36:57

like basically half the army after

36:59

a vagrant. I do it on

37:01

a vagrancy and it was basically

37:03

a resist arrest charge at a

37:05

vagrancy and they're like sent in

37:07

the army. They also mobilise the

37:09

army with an hour where the

37:11

army have got nothing else. Like

37:13

how also like this seems like

37:15

a very very very small town

37:17

to the point where they don't

37:19

have to drive that far till

37:21

he's out of it. Yeah, yeah.

37:23

And then it's so small a

37:25

town that he then considers just

37:28

walking back to it, right? So

37:30

they're not far. It's got a

37:32

fucking massive police force. Yeah. Oh,

37:34

yeah. Was a shitload of guns?

37:36

Like a shitload of guns. Oh,

37:38

the shitload of guns. That's right.

37:40

They had a big thing. He

37:42

was staring at the National Guard.

37:44

like dad's army basically like weekend

37:46

reservists yeah guys that want to

37:48

be soldiers but can't yeah wouldn't

37:50

like active duty right why the

37:52

fuck Are they allowing the National

37:54

Guard guy to drive around with

37:56

an M60 in the back of

37:58

a... How did the National Guard

38:00

even know how to use an

38:02

M60 for Foxy? What home defence

38:04

missions have they been on that

38:06

requires an M60? It felt like

38:08

the police here saw an opportunity

38:10

to finally get... live out a

38:12

lot of fantasies. Right, yeah. Because

38:15

there's even a guy, there's no

38:17

way that police man's ever hung

38:19

out the side of a helicopter

38:21

trying to pangle that off. Exactly!

38:23

He's hanging out the side of

38:25

the alley after trying to shoot

38:27

a man climbing down a cliff

38:29

and the guys like the policeman's

38:31

like what are you doing? Where

38:33

are you shooting? And then he

38:35

goes, hold fucking stealth. If you

38:37

don't fly this still I'm going

38:39

to kill you as well. What?

38:41

This is the second command in

38:43

this town's police force and he's

38:45

hitting an innocent hell. He hasn't,

38:47

like he's just punched someone at

38:49

this stage and this policeman's like

38:51

we're taking him down. Yeah, he

38:53

throws a rock. I have got...

38:55

It's funny that there are the

38:57

kill count as one in this,

38:59

in every other. Every other, maybe

39:02

the kill count is like 15,000.

39:04

More dogs die in this than

39:06

humans. That's right, he fucking kills

39:08

the three dogs. Yeah, yeah, that

39:10

was funny. I think, I don't

39:12

think, I don't think, I don't

39:14

think Rambo doesn't kill anyone. I

39:16

wouldn't put... I think... He may

39:18

get done for manslaughter manslaughter pilot

39:20

is more culpable for that guy

39:22

dying. Like there's no fucking weight

39:24

of rock hits and you lose

39:26

control that much. He's gone. This

39:28

fucking prick speaks to me like

39:30

that. He's taken it. He's tipped

39:32

him out. He's tipped him out.

39:34

He's tipped him out. It's a

39:36

bad death. Fallen out of hell,

39:38

he held it onto rocks. Oh,

39:40

he shattered. He's absolutely in bits.

39:42

Yeah, yeah. And then Rambo takes

39:44

his coat, but then never wears

39:46

it. I would have thought, because

39:49

that's a big coat he's got

39:51

on. That's a big coat he's

39:53

got on. Yeah, he's a big

39:55

coat, he's got on. Yeah, he's

39:57

a big coat, he's. Oh, that's

39:59

true. But then I'm like, why

40:01

not use the why not use

40:03

the turpolin? Yeah, hammock thing. Don't

40:05

shoot that. That's our guy. You're

40:07

wearing a smoke. Well, you look

40:09

at dirty Greek. Right. Why? Why?

40:11

Why not use that? No, not

40:13

a dirty Greek cousin, like that's

40:15

not a racist term. It looks

40:17

like he's in those tunics. What

40:19

are they called? Togas. He looks

40:21

like he's been in a toga

40:23

for a while. Right? You know,

40:25

like, a dirty Greek bust. Oh

40:27

God. I don't... I know I

40:29

never understood that why he doesn't

40:31

take the guys cool. Yeah, because

40:33

if you saw a scare, could

40:36

we go, oh it's one of

40:38

our guys. There's a lot of

40:40

it, there's a lot, I don't

40:42

understand why, I mean it's a

40:44

cool scene where they all cross

40:46

the rocks beside the river and

40:48

then it turns out Rambos been

40:50

in the river the river the

40:52

whole time. But also why the

40:54

fuck did he get in his

40:56

throat? And he goes. I didn't

40:58

start this. Don't push it. Don't,

41:00

I didn't start this, don't push

41:02

it. I didn't need to kill

41:04

that guy. Why there's already impaled

41:06

another guy's legs for your fucking

41:08

thing? I'm like, no, I mean,

41:10

you're gonna get in trouble here.

41:12

I mean, we see he doesn't

41:14

kill anyone. Some of those lads

41:16

might die. That leg thing. The

41:18

trap, that is quite cool. Like

41:20

right through there, you're bound to

41:23

have been hitting the air. And

41:25

also the dog handler gets shot

41:27

in the leg as well. Yeah.

41:29

He might have died. So he

41:31

might have killed some. That's right.

41:33

Kill a bad dog. Yeah. Yeah.

41:35

I wanted to see him kill

41:37

the dog. I did it and

41:39

he did. I reckon he just,

41:41

when the dog, do I want

41:43

to just grab this too. Mike

41:45

and just ripped it open, ripped

41:47

it open. And half. I just

41:49

ripped it up. grab both dogs

41:51

like that and they just smash

41:53

their heads together. I've never I

41:55

never understood right why they get

41:57

so why they're so angry at

41:59

them like because the vagrancy isn't

42:01

that big a charge right you're

42:03

just moving somebody on I don't

42:05

understand why and then I was

42:07

reading in my research in the

42:10

book the guy so the guy

42:12

who's Brian Deny. that the police

42:14

chief of the sheriff he is

42:16

a Korean War veteran and a

42:18

part of his motivation is he's

42:20

pissed off because the Korean War

42:22

veterans completely forgotten about. Yeah. Korean

42:24

War is just before Vietnam obviously

42:26

and they completely forgot about those

42:28

lads. They have. Where is the

42:30

Vietnam? I don't think I've ever

42:32

seen a Korean war film. I've

42:34

seen a lot of World War

42:36

II films. I've seen a shitload

42:38

of Vietnam films. I've seen a

42:40

lot of World War films. I've

42:42

seen a lot of World War

42:44

II films. I've seen a shit

42:46

load of Vietnam films and I've

42:48

even seen Gulf War films now.

42:50

I don't think I've ever seen

42:52

a Korean war film. It's a

42:54

good point. I haven't. Doesn't have

42:57

a soundtrack. There's not a soundtrack.

42:59

There's a soundtrack. Yeah, what would

43:01

the, what the fuck would, uh,

43:03

the Gulf Force, in fact, would

43:05

you, Jamaica? No, the Gulf War,

43:07

Gulf War, would be, like, uh,

43:09

LeBiscuit and... Yeah, yeah. Second work,

43:11

Gulf War, yeah. Like, what was

43:13

the fucking, uh, what's her name,

43:15

the Bloodtown Gang? They used to

43:17

play that in there. Like that,

43:19

the roof, the wood only no

43:21

water, let the motherfucker burn, burn

43:23

motherfucker, burn. Neel diamonds, should be

43:25

the Korean War. Early Rod Stewart.

43:27

Early Rod Stewart, hot legs. I

43:29

suppose in World War II couldn't

43:31

have had a good soundtrack, because

43:33

it would be all rag timey,

43:35

Glenn Miller shit. Yeah, yeah, that's

43:37

exactly what it would be. Yeah,

43:39

yeah, I fucking, what do you

43:41

call it? Oh God. Hello my

43:44

baby! Hello my honey! Yeah, so

43:46

it's very, I did find it

43:48

a lot very funny how bad

43:50

they both escalated this, you know,

43:52

including old John. I was like,

43:54

John, you're not, you're not completely

43:56

thin. There's a couple of really,

43:58

really funny scenes. The scene I

44:00

laughed my hair off the most

44:02

funny is explaining they couldn't find

44:04

his friend's legs. Yeah, oh sweet

44:06

baby Jesus. The most heart and

44:08

was heart-ranging. The scene where he

44:10

has an actual melt though. I

44:12

was in fucking tears laughing. Because

44:14

it isn't even badly acted or

44:16

anything, but it's just such a

44:18

funny story. Look at a lot

44:20

of good fun's legs! And I

44:22

was like, oh my god, Jesus

44:24

Christ. It is good acting for

44:26

still a little bit of that

44:28

fact. I'm not even a massive

44:31

stolen fan. Compared to the others.

44:33

I don't think there's any reason

44:35

for that. I just don't think,

44:37

actually, I've seen a lot of

44:39

those. So if we took, we

44:41

took the expendables. That's a great

44:43

place to start. I've got some

44:45

shit that'll probably upset you on

44:47

that. Which order? Which order? Well

44:49

number one Terry Chris. Right. So

44:51

where we cut here we class.

44:53

So we take a Mount Rushmore

44:55

of 80's action films. Right. Stars.

44:57

You've got to go. Stallone. Swartz

44:59

nigger. Van Dam. Yeah, if you

45:01

want to do them them? Four,

45:03

those four. I know we're missing

45:05

people like Chuck Norris and shit,

45:07

but it's B movie shit. Like

45:09

we're talking Hollywood alistors of action

45:11

stars. Well, I think, well, see

45:13

Van Dambs came in more 90s

45:15

though. He is. Gibson would probably

45:18

get put in the, I would,

45:20

Gibson only really got this weapon.

45:22

I wouldn't kind them, I think

45:24

he's too, like, like, Jeanette, I,

45:26

the scenery I actually maybe wouldn't.

45:28

put Bruce Willis in there? No,

45:30

I'm thinking that as well. Because

45:32

he's like he's like Mel Gibson

45:34

too. He's got obviously. I'm always

45:36

thinking Bruce Willis because he was

45:38

part of that. He's part of

45:40

the expenditures and he's also part

45:42

of that. Because remember they bought

45:44

planet Hollywood. Do you remember that?

45:46

No. That was a fucking huge

45:48

thing in Britain. Okay. So this

45:50

point Stallone and Schwartz now over

45:52

the two biggest stars in Hollywood

45:54

by far. and the scene bought

45:56

a chain restaurant in, called Planet

45:58

Hollywood, and there was one opened

46:00

in London. And it was kind

46:02

of like, it was like the

46:05

film version of the Hard Rock

46:07

Cafe. So like you would go

46:09

in and there'd be shit loads

46:11

of... film memorabilia in there. So

46:13

they were like one of the

46:15

one of the fucking terminators robots,

46:17

the actual thing from the would

46:19

be in there. Commando's jacket would

46:21

be in there. Yeah, okay. Bruce

46:23

Wallace's vest from Die Hard would

46:25

be in a case. But it

46:27

was huge. I remember it being

46:29

massive at the time. Which you

46:31

know? Like, right, so I don't

46:33

know, Van Dam isn't... Put Van

46:35

Dam in there then, so Schwarzmiger,

46:37

Sloan Van Dam. Stollin Statham's two-something,

46:39

Dauf Longrin. He's not, he's too

46:41

low, he was in all the

46:43

films as the second third guy.

46:45

He was, he's not a leading

46:47

guy. He's never his own franchise,

46:49

he's London. No, not, he did

46:52

have one terrible one, I can't

46:54

remember, but gently, no, Schwarzenegger. Like,

46:56

Schwarzenegger's number one. Yes, same. Swartzning

46:58

is number one. I would generally

47:00

have probably stayed from two. Van

47:02

Dam three. Oh! Stallone four. I

47:04

know that would be. That would

47:06

be thing. I think, you know

47:08

what, I would probably put Van

47:10

Dam, maybe ahead of suggesting Stairman,

47:12

I think about it. Actually, you

47:14

know what? Yeah, I would. Van

47:16

Dam second. Hi. I like, I

47:18

like Van Dam, I don't think

47:20

he is anywhere near an A-lister

47:22

compared to Stallone. I think he's

47:24

probably more, I think the thing

47:26

with Van Dam is, Van Dam

47:28

is probably more of a pure

47:30

action star because he didn't do

47:32

anything else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stallone,

47:34

like, Van Dam never had a

47:36

period after this where he started

47:38

doing serious films and then like...

47:41

None of us actually was serious

47:43

because Van Dam should die in

47:45

the first three minutes of any

47:47

action film. Yeah. He just stands

47:49

out there's a whole army and

47:51

he just like from kicking people

47:53

and I was like just shoot

47:55

him. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. But

47:57

I suppose because Statham. Statham with

47:59

a career before an action start.

48:01

Statham. Yeah. Statham was fucking. guy

48:03

Rich's boy. Yeah he's good. So

48:05

he's anadiver. Aye. I have professional

48:07

yeah. Would he not win a

48:09

gold medal? He did. No I

48:11

don't you won the gold medal

48:13

I think in one like

48:15

the Commonwealth. And

48:17

then Stallone definitely

48:20

had serious roles after.

48:22

Did a Schwarzenegger ever

48:25

done like a critically

48:27

acclaimed role? Not because

48:29

he went action then comedy He

48:31

did action and comedy and then

48:33

sci-fi really did a lot of

48:35

sci-fi in the early 2000s or

48:38

late 90s too Does this has

48:40

Schwarzenegger done a critical critically? No, I

48:42

feel like he should have too. I

48:44

feel like somebody should be able to

48:46

tap into it. He isn't a strong

48:48

actor emotion wise so yeah, he does

48:51

unbelievable. He does as well, but I

48:53

don't know if he'd be but then

48:55

I suppose still low then he did

48:57

things like Like all those ones like,

48:59

ah, it's still the end of days.

49:01

They're still not, they're still action, they're

49:04

still actionable. And then, Vandam's never done

49:06

anything other than action. No, he's at

49:08

the Curr's Lights ad. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

49:10

yeah. He's never even done comedy, really.

49:12

He's in friends. Yeah, I mean, geez

49:14

Christ, I'm pretty sure I've seen him

49:17

in some other comedy thing, but it

49:19

was dreadful. Yeah, because you can't put a

49:21

Belgian dude in a comedy show. Is he from

49:23

Belgium? Isn't he? The muscles from Brussels? The muscles

49:25

from Brussels. I see it. It's a hard one

49:27

to think. I think I'm harsh. I know people

49:29

would be screaming at me going, Stallone fourth. I

49:31

just never... I don't know what it is. I

49:33

don't think I've seen enough of them. I've seen

49:35

I've seen all is expendable. I've seen

49:38

later Stallone. That's what it is. I

49:40

haven't seen Copland. I haven't seen Copland's

49:42

death. Copland's just a really good film.

49:44

I haven't seen most of the Rockies.

49:46

Now genuinely I haven't I've seen the

49:48

Creed's more than the fucking Rockies. I

49:50

know that's also unforgivable even though there

49:52

are decent films. Right let's let's have

49:54

a look at Stallone's formography. That's what

49:57

I want I want to see. I

49:59

want to see. I've seen it because

50:01

I think I'm wrong. I have

50:03

to catch up, you know, as

50:05

what I have to do. And

50:07

let's have a look at his,

50:09

oh this is this, I do

50:11

like him too, like, I like

50:13

them even in his teny rolls

50:15

and like, oh he's great. Guardians

50:17

the galaxy and shit, even like

50:19

him and them stupid rolls. Like,

50:21

oh good, nice. Expendibles, do you

50:23

know what I like about the

50:25

expendables, you show which ones can

50:27

actually show, like, like, like, So

50:29

first big role is a Rocky.

50:31

Right. So Rocky writes it. 76

50:33

or so? 76, yeah. So Rocky's

50:35

good. And then he's in a

50:37

film called Fest. It's a port.

50:39

Fair play to him. Barely setting

50:41

that as an action. Rocky and

50:43

fist. Oh no, it's a bit

50:45

truckers. Oh it stands for. So

50:47

yeah. So it's a party. State

50:49

truckers, right. Paradise Alley. Never seen.

50:51

That's. That's a that's a film

50:53

about wrestling. So that's basically Rocky,

50:55

but for wrestling. Then Rocky too,

50:57

right? Then Nighthawks and I'm fairly

50:59

certain Nighthawks is a cop thing.

51:01

Yeah, action crime film, right? So,

51:04

and then we've got a Scape

51:06

to Victory, which we forgot was

51:08

our first stolen film. You know,

51:10

I like a escape plan. That's

51:12

good film, right? All three of

51:14

them. And then after that, we're

51:16

right in, so, after, after first

51:18

blood. He does, he, he, he

51:20

directs Stay and Alive, which is

51:22

the sequel to. The Bee Geez

51:24

one. No, it's a Saturday Night

51:26

Fever. Okay, right. Then he does

51:28

Rhinestone, which I think is about

51:30

country singers. And then ramble first

51:32

blood part two. And then after

51:34

that, he's in fucking, everything that

51:36

is action. Okay. After that, you

51:38

rocky four. Right. Cobra. Which is

51:40

awesome. Over the top. where he's

51:42

a trucker that also competes in

51:44

professional arm wrestling. credible lockup, ramble

51:46

three, then lockup. Do you know,

51:48

I've always looked at lockup on

51:50

my, I haven't favoured it just

51:52

because the fucking, you ever see

51:54

the poster of lockup? Yeah. It's

51:56

like a big mostly cartoonish kind

51:58

of thing. Yeah, I've never watched

52:00

it. I've never seen it. They're

52:02

tango in cash. I've never seen

52:04

it. Then Rocky Five. Then he

52:06

starts going in X. So then

52:08

he does Oscar, which I think

52:10

it's a gang at gang at

52:12

a gangster mob boss. He plays.

52:14

then we started getting cliffhanger demolition

52:16

man the specialist judge dread demolition

52:18

man I love demolition man all

52:20

right okay sorry then after that

52:22

we started getting into like he

52:24

does the comedy stuff right so

52:26

yeah good shit a lot of

52:28

good stuff here see that's the

52:30

one thing you had put him

52:32

ahead of Jason's doing a lot

52:34

of good films in a lot

52:36

of good films action wise like

52:39

he's a brilliant action star and

52:41

usually he thought getting like He

52:43

carries shit action films, but he's

52:45

not actually got like an unbelievable

52:47

role. He does like expendable as

52:49

his best roles are actually like

52:51

lockstock and snatch and stuff like

52:53

that. What's that one where he's

52:55

the getaway driver? The very first

52:57

one of them. The transporter? No.

52:59

That's good. Yeah, transport is good.

53:01

There's a couple of ones like

53:03

hummingbird and safer. Pretty odd. Crank.

53:05

Crank's fucking great. Crank's nonsense. People,

53:07

people kept, I seen a tweet

53:09

about a tweet about it. the

53:11

harsh reason. And so he goes,

53:13

the most unnecessary sex scene of

53:15

all time and somebody was retweeting

53:17

it. It's the most necessary. Exactly!

53:19

He's going to eat it. He's

53:21

going to die until it was

53:23

necessary sex scene. I loved it.

53:25

But you know, and then he's

53:27

done, you know, like the beekeeper's

53:29

fun. I'm not seeing it. I

53:31

enjoyed the beekeeper. It's stupidest fun,

53:33

but I loved it. Beekeeper is

53:35

pretty good. You know, a couple

53:37

of them moves. You know that

53:39

moves where people just throw a

53:41

guy's head down a guy's head

53:43

down down on the head down

53:45

on the head down on the

53:47

head down on the floor. Yeah,

53:49

so I think it is cut.

53:51

I think you need to see

53:53

more of them. That's what I,

53:55

you know, I mean, that, that,

53:57

mine. and definitely Schwartz nigger Stallone.

53:59

Yeah, I still think. I just

54:01

go chronologically with that, like. Yeah.

54:03

So we're not too far then.

54:05

No. Because I would have Van

54:07

Dam second. Staving over a stone

54:09

seems wrong. Just me saying it.

54:11

Have you just, I've got to

54:14

mention with David Crusoe. Have you

54:16

seen. There's a video in YouTube,

54:18

but you can watch that's got

54:20

you know, so he was in

54:22

was it CSI my army? He

54:24

was yeah, he's in two cop

54:26

things because I've read up He

54:28

was in the was you know,

54:30

in any by PD Blue? Was

54:32

that not his massive record? Anyway,

54:34

people is amazing. Okay. I've never

54:36

seen it. Never heard of it.

54:38

Oh, it's like a so late

54:40

90s cop drama It's just it's

54:42

fucking ground-breaking like But a

54:44

CSM army, you know how he

54:46

does the quips at the start

54:48

when he puts on his glasses.

54:50

There's a compilation of all him.

54:52

If you don't know what I'm

54:54

about, he starts everything. So they'll

54:56

arrive to a crime scene and

54:58

he'll be like, someone will be...

55:00

Someone, say someone's had like a

55:02

fucking torch rammed down their throat.

55:04

Right, and they'll come, I can't

55:06

even remember what his name is.

55:08

He's got a cool name. Horatio.

55:10

Horatio, yeah. Horatio something. Aye. So

55:12

they go, so what have we

55:14

got here? And he goes, oh

55:16

my God, where he should have,

55:18

or torch star the throat. And

55:21

then he'll go, well, certainly seems

55:23

like he saw the light. And

55:25

then he'll put on the shades

55:27

and walk away. I was just

55:29

like, well, he's never done it.

55:31

And it's so ridiculous. Oh my

55:33

God. Most convoluted murders. He always

55:35

comes up with funny. Uh, fucking

55:37

out. Do you know, do you

55:39

know, do you know, I go,

55:41

I googled, he retired. Chris or

55:43

did it? Immediately after CSA. You

55:45

have been a fortune on that.

55:47

I was just like, well, do

55:49

I wonder why he's never done

55:51

it. Maybe he's because he's not,

55:53

but, you know, and then I,

55:55

I, and then I, I, I,

55:57

I, I could, I could, I

55:59

could, I could, I could, I

56:01

could, I could, I could, I

56:03

could, he just, he just, he

56:05

just, he just, he just, he

56:07

just, he just, he just, he

56:09

just, he just, he just, he

56:11

just, he just, he was just,

56:13

he was just, he was just,

56:15

he was just, he was just,

56:17

he was, he was like, he

56:19

was like, he I wanted to

56:21

do other shit so he went

56:23

and like owns like clothing lines

56:25

and fucking different shit. It just

56:27

couldn't be ours. It's very funny

56:29

it's just odd when you see

56:32

someone retire at the time. CSI.

56:34

CSI the original one which was

56:36

just crime scene investigation. That's CSI

56:38

Miami. I watched Miami. Is there

56:40

any other ones CSI? I didn't

56:42

mean that about the school shooting,

56:44

but I was actually in Don

56:46

Blaine yesterday is why I came

56:48

into my head. I did a

56:50

gig in calendar, right? I have

56:52

fundraised and get. I know, but

56:54

I had to go, there's no

56:56

fucking trains in calendar, so I

56:58

had to go to Don Blaine

57:00

and get from Don Blaine, the

57:02

calendar, right? So I thought in,

57:04

it's so funny, I went on

57:06

to do this gig and they

57:08

were like, it's a fundraising gig

57:10

and like, I was like, I

57:12

was like. I was like, Ross,

57:14

Leslie booked, I was like, Ross,

57:16

what's the fun? Are you guys

57:18

actually doing what the fun, what

57:20

the actual, we're raising funds for?

57:22

And this woman came in, we

57:24

were like, so what, what exactly

57:26

are we raising the funds for?

57:28

You know, you're waiting for like,

57:30

fucking AIDS or something? Cancer, and

57:32

she was like, we're raising money

57:34

for bagpipes for the local community.

57:36

Yeah, right, okay. Do you know

57:38

what, I've done that? Where was

57:41

it? Calendar and like a youth

57:43

project? Yes. Absolutely rubber of a

57:45

gig. I've done that gig. Do

57:47

you have the best thing about

57:49

that gig in calendar? Do you

57:51

have a few months? Yeah, you're

57:53

fucking red. I can't break it.

57:55

It's too strong. Do you ever

57:57

see Danny DeVito? Do you watch

57:59

always Sonny? Yeah, I'm not as

58:01

much. Not as much as everyone.

58:03

Do you ever see the episodes?

58:05

One of my favorite jokes in.

58:07

and always sunny is when Danny

58:09

DeVito he certainly slowly gets dementia

58:11

and he starts, keeps recalling his

58:13

life as if he's John Rambo.

58:15

That's so funny. He's like, oh

58:17

don't ever laugh about hunting no

58:19

man he says to him I

58:21

was hitchhiking for Oregon once and

58:23

his fucking cop trying to run

58:25

me out of time. Oh no

58:27

I'll go out the way. I

58:29

hope I... the fucking bloodbath and

58:31

they're like that's that's John Rambo

58:33

and he goes no that happened

58:35

to me no that happened to

58:37

me and it even does that

58:39

later in the episode the true

58:41

first blood he said well that's

58:43

Rambo isn't it? See we just

58:45

when you mentioned that thing there

58:47

that was one of the There

58:49

was a time for a couple

58:52

of years, but it was like

58:54

a proper shop that I saw

58:56

so many fucking open spots do,

58:58

where they would come on and

59:00

go. I've been watching that show,

59:02

CSI Miami. Oh, can you imagine

59:04

if they did a CSI Paisley?

59:06

Oh, just all of the guys.

59:08

Great, crumbs all about the place.

59:10

Imagine if there was a CSI

59:12

Newcastle. Oh, fuck, you fucking. horse?

59:14

Oh Jesus Christ! By God, I...

59:16

So many shite routines, I've seen

59:18

people do that. Yes, I agree.

59:20

Yeah, it's just that they already

59:22

act out five minutes of nonsense.

59:24

Seriously and about how it's got

59:26

a massive police force. Yeah. What

59:28

confused me when they first took

59:30

Rambo? Well, it confusing me why

59:32

they're such a pricklym. Right, I

59:34

get it, I get it if

59:36

if Dana he is... If he

59:38

was black it would make more

59:40

sense. It would, but it would,

59:42

but it would, yeah. If he's

59:44

jealous of him because he is

59:46

a Vietnam War veteran. But at

59:48

this point he doesn't know he

59:50

is. That's the thing. He doesn't

59:52

know he's a gay, he doesn't

59:54

know he's a congressional medal of

59:56

honor winner. Yeah. So they are

59:58

just picking on him because he's

1:00:00

got slightly longer hair than anyone

1:00:03

else. Yeah, because he doesn't look

1:00:05

like he stinks. Yeah, he doesn't

1:00:07

look like a bum. He literally

1:00:09

looks like an army vet. He's

1:00:11

wearing a yes army jumper. And

1:00:13

they're like, what? He's not asking

1:00:15

for change. He's just wanting a

1:00:17

bit to eat. Yeah, he's passing

1:00:19

through. He's literally passing through. Yeah,

1:00:21

yeah. I don't. I think it's

1:00:23

weird. First of all, I think

1:00:25

it's weird that they're desperate to

1:00:27

clean them. Yeah, not for free.

1:00:29

There is no need. There's no

1:00:31

need. Why? With a control racer.

1:00:33

The guy, the guy comes to

1:00:35

him like this. Oh no! Like,

1:00:37

shoot him dry! Shit. But why,

1:00:39

why do they need to strip

1:00:41

him down? Oh God, that's right.

1:00:43

They strip him down. They completely

1:00:45

bought me holes. And why have

1:00:47

they got a fire hose? In

1:00:49

the police station. But you could

1:00:51

understand if they've got some showers

1:00:53

and for a laugh they put

1:00:55

them in a cold shower. Why

1:00:57

the fuck are they hosing this

1:00:59

naked man down? All of them?

1:01:01

All of them standing about watching

1:01:03

it as well. That's right. Four

1:01:05

or five policemen watching them. We're

1:01:07

hosing the guy. Come on down.

1:01:09

Get right up his arse there.

1:01:11

Let's shave him! Let's shave him!

1:01:14

Let's shave him! Hold him down,

1:01:16

we'll shave him! And then the,

1:01:18

I love other, like, it zooms

1:01:20

to him, and he's sitting there,

1:01:22

like, you know, he's having the

1:01:24

old PTSD attack, and he's like,

1:01:26

blah! And there's a guy, cotton

1:01:28

across his chest. Oh, he's full

1:01:30

of, he's full of, he's full

1:01:32

of cots, like, cots, he's fall

1:01:34

into a pile of briders. He's

1:01:36

getting off the road and trips

1:01:38

and everything. That is pretty cool

1:01:40

when it flashes back to the

1:01:42

guy just cutting across his chest.

1:01:44

Yeah, yeah. That's a weird, I

1:01:46

realize we're just going to say

1:01:48

this, this is a weird thing

1:01:50

to say, I quite like scenes

1:01:52

of POWs being tortured. They always

1:01:54

see like the... cruelest people yeah

1:01:56

they don't see ever seen in

1:01:58

your life they know the Americans

1:02:00

really oh yeah lashing them with

1:02:02

fucking stone in them in a

1:02:04

cage you know like they're always

1:02:06

doing that thing like they're obviously

1:02:08

boiling in like a wooden cage

1:02:10

yeah that's too small so and

1:02:12

they're like yeah yeah throwing like

1:02:14

burning for and petrel in their

1:02:16

eyes you fucking That's a huge

1:02:18

amount of Vietnam jail tortious. That's

1:02:20

right. One of the scenes the

1:02:22

flashback is the under like down

1:02:25

low in a cage like under

1:02:27

a round kid of fucking. Yeah,

1:02:29

that type of shit. Oh man.

1:02:31

And then, so like he loses

1:02:33

all this and then then they

1:02:35

bring his colonel and Colonel Troutman.

1:02:37

Is that what his Colonel Troutman?

1:02:39

Yeah, Mr Troutman turns up and

1:02:41

he's just like, I'm not here,

1:02:43

do you save? him from... Oh,

1:02:45

some of his lines are... He

1:02:47

had some good lines, but there's

1:02:49

parts of it where like just

1:02:51

pure mayhem walking and he just

1:02:53

walks in the back going, just

1:02:55

put your arm, put the weapons

1:02:57

down, John. He's just walking around

1:02:59

completely. he makes there's about three

1:03:01

times where he just appears with

1:03:03

a killer fucking line at the

1:03:05

exact moment. Because when they like...

1:03:07

He basically was the original, the

1:03:09

David Crusoe? Yes! But his lines

1:03:11

are... Even when they're talking about

1:03:13

Rambo at the start and they

1:03:15

find out like he's a congressional

1:03:17

medal of honor winner, winner, he's

1:03:19

this Greenberry, he's like a, he's

1:03:21

like such a decorated soldier. And

1:03:23

then the guy kind of goes...

1:03:25

Then he, the sheriff, goes, what

1:03:27

kind of God would make a

1:03:29

man like John Rambo? And then

1:03:31

immediately, Trotman just goes, God didn't

1:03:34

make John Rambo? I made him.

1:03:36

Are you telling me that 200

1:03:38

guys against your boy is a

1:03:40

no-win situation for us? You send

1:03:42

that many men, you know what

1:03:44

you're going to need? You're getting

1:03:46

pretty body bags. he goes what

1:03:48

was that thing about he just

1:03:50

decided to go underground for absolutely

1:03:52

no reason too and there's rats

1:03:54

are raised in the mine because

1:03:56

they blow up the the entrance

1:03:58

to the mine so that rat

1:04:00

bet is horrible yeah I forgot

1:04:02

about that it was proper oh

1:04:04

Jesus oh hi nibbling him because

1:04:06

it's proper claustrophobic that thing as

1:04:08

well I could do I do

1:04:10

like the him making the lantern

1:04:12

dipping it and I like that

1:04:14

I like it just doesn't give

1:04:16

a shit just bare hands just

1:04:18

re- Petrel, Petrel doused drag. Yeah,

1:04:20

yeah, yeah, great. Treatment gecko Richard

1:04:22

Crenner. The only other things, I've

1:04:24

only ever seen him in the

1:04:26

ramble films and I've only seen

1:04:28

him where he spoons his ramble

1:04:30

character in hot shots. He acts

1:04:32

like absolute prime William Shatner. Where

1:04:34

he stops and pauses after every

1:04:36

line. He's like, I'm just trying

1:04:38

to describe it. He's like, can

1:04:40

you even foresee a man, mastered

1:04:42

in knives, a real warfare? Offbeat

1:04:45

talking? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly

1:04:47

what it is. It's like someone

1:04:49

doing a really bad impression, a

1:04:51

shot, no. He's like a real

1:04:53

bad ass, Maddie. Do

1:04:55

you want some facts? I do

1:04:58

want some facts. Right. Well, right.

1:05:00

Well, do you really? Well, I

1:05:02

haven't even fucking checked at this

1:05:04

court in case I've been messaged

1:05:06

anything on to it. I've got

1:05:08

some good ones. Yeah. I've done

1:05:10

that one about the fact that

1:05:12

the sheriff was supposed to end

1:05:14

the novel. He was a Korean

1:05:16

War veteran. According to a filmmaker

1:05:19

Shin Sang Oak. Who is a

1:05:21

South Korean filmmaker who had been

1:05:23

kidnapped? This is apparently one of

1:05:25

Kim Jong-il's favorite films Right and

1:05:27

apparently Kim Young-il tries to understand

1:05:29

capitalism through films, but he has

1:05:31

no concept of what fiction is

1:05:33

So he looks at these films

1:05:35

as if they're actual records of

1:05:37

reality like this shit actually happened

1:05:40

and there was a documentary These,

1:05:42

there wasn't that many interesting facts

1:05:44

about this. These two are mental,

1:05:46

right? The first one. So, and

1:05:48

when Stallone was on Howard Stern,

1:05:50

apparently Stallone hated this film. Some

1:05:52

of them out of the hair

1:05:54

and that fucking fucking. Stole one

1:05:56

on how you're staring? Someone like

1:05:58

that place? Did he make him

1:06:01

sit on the sibian? Or see,

1:06:03

I'm fucking mental shit. When he

1:06:05

makes a woman orgasm by sib,

1:06:07

yeah, yeah. Don't any time I

1:06:09

remember seeing it, it was the

1:06:11

time he chucks carrying Carmen electronic

1:06:13

electronic on it? Yeah, and it

1:06:15

was dead. He's done it to

1:06:17

Carmona Ledra. Oh, it was terrible.

1:06:19

She was sitting on a, like,

1:06:22

deeply uncomfortable, like, I didn't want

1:06:24

to do this. Like, forces around

1:06:26

it, and then she just, like,

1:06:28

nowhere near things. She goes, okay.

1:06:30

And then he's like, he's like,

1:06:32

sit back down on it. She's

1:06:34

like, no. I'm quite amazed at

1:06:36

her still, like, like, it was

1:06:38

proper, we honestly. that that carman

1:06:40

electric simian thing is one of

1:06:43

the almost awkward things you'll ever

1:06:45

see in your life. When I

1:06:47

watch that and go home, I

1:06:49

don't do this. So still, I

1:06:51

just don't, still had, still had

1:06:53

fucking hated this film when it

1:06:55

was for, because of the, like

1:06:57

it was so ridiculous a lot

1:06:59

of it and that's why they

1:07:01

paired it back to just make

1:07:04

it this proper tight, like almost

1:07:06

claustrophobic Vietnam film. I mean, yeah,

1:07:08

it works out. Would you consider

1:07:10

this a Vietnam film, that's another

1:07:12

question? Nah. Nah, I don't think

1:07:14

it would either. Nah, they have

1:07:16

to be in Vietnam? I think

1:07:18

they have to be in Vietnam.

1:07:20

This is a PTSD because of

1:07:22

Vietnam story. The best thing is

1:07:25

if it was proper true PTSD

1:07:27

half the time, they were just

1:07:29

thinking you just start crying in

1:07:31

the shower? Yeah. They're like, movie

1:07:33

over it. Would you consider it

1:07:35

as a Christmas film? This is

1:07:37

a Christmas film as much as

1:07:39

diehard as a Christmas. Oh, fucking,

1:07:41

what is this die hard? So

1:07:43

is this. But I rarely would...

1:07:46

I mean I don't argue when

1:07:48

people call die hard a Christmas

1:07:50

song but I'm also... See I

1:07:52

would consider die hard very much

1:07:54

a Christmas song. I suppose everyone

1:07:56

watches a Christmas. But then this

1:07:58

I would never have considered it

1:08:00

a Christmas. Like I said I

1:08:02

consider at least a weapon a

1:08:04

Christmas film. But that's, but that's,

1:08:07

that's even more than Die Hard

1:08:09

because that's get Christmas music in

1:08:11

it. Die Hard doesn't. What? Let's

1:08:13

get, it's got, they're on the

1:08:15

MC. No, Christmas and holidays. Didn't

1:08:17

they hurt? Well, so it does

1:08:19

actually. Right, okay, so there are

1:08:21

a par. But this, I would

1:08:23

say there's more Christmas decoration in

1:08:25

this than there is in. I

1:08:28

didn't know it was a similar

1:08:30

situation. Yeah, when they go to

1:08:32

the police station the start, it's

1:08:34

a big massive wreath that says

1:08:36

Merry Christmas, there's trees, when he

1:08:38

shoots up one of the stores

1:08:40

at the, the end of a

1:08:42

Christmas store. Okay, okay. Okay, I

1:08:44

doubt selling as a Christmas show.

1:08:46

No, I wouldn't consider it either,

1:08:49

but I think the argument is

1:08:51

there to be made. Doesn't have

1:08:53

a fill, yeah, okay. Right, and

1:08:55

they were all cut. to improve

1:08:57

the film, right? Good. These includes,

1:08:59

at one point, ramble, so there

1:09:01

was more, there was much more

1:09:03

ramble killing animals, right? Because he

1:09:05

kills a boar. Yeah. At one

1:09:07

point, he jumps in a boar's

1:09:10

back. Oh, the big fucking. Yeah,

1:09:12

yeah, that's class. Yeah, yeah. And

1:09:14

then he eats it. Yeah. Uncle

1:09:16

leg. There's a bet where he

1:09:18

kills an owl. And the original

1:09:20

script. Snaps a snake? Right? There

1:09:22

you can. Support. We'll just keep

1:09:24

going right. That was the joke.

1:09:26

Fuck. You're a little girl right

1:09:28

now. I know. So he killed

1:09:31

the owl. And then after. His

1:09:33

line was, take that, your mouse

1:09:35

munchin' mother. I mean, I mean

1:09:37

keep that and... Take that your

1:09:39

mouse munch and mother! It's so

1:09:41

funny if Rambo just really hates

1:09:43

animals because that's a completely... like

1:09:45

people really don't like that. That's

1:09:47

true, that was... Because I keep

1:09:49

saying this, like I've done jokes

1:09:52

bearing but killing puppies is the

1:09:54

one that really fucks people out.

1:09:56

Oh yeah. I was trying to

1:09:58

kill an animal somewhere in this

1:10:00

set, right? Because it really just

1:10:02

people just people wild. It does.

1:10:04

Just having John Rambo. next one,

1:10:06

but it's only animals, he's killing

1:10:08

people's pets. John Rambo, he hates

1:10:10

animals but was never in Vietnam

1:10:13

and the PTSD, he's just worked

1:10:15

on a farm and he's just

1:10:17

been mistreated by the other animals.

1:10:19

That's why he hates animals. Fucking

1:10:21

decapitating an alpaca. Spat on one

1:10:23

day. He's remembered it. Did you

1:10:25

hear what happened, Moody? Do you

1:10:27

know Mu Dang? We talked about

1:10:29

Mu Dang? Oh, it's you know

1:10:31

what happened Mu Dang? Dead? Yeah,

1:10:34

yeah. The fucking, some of the

1:10:36

fucking killed in an accident? Like,

1:10:38

you know, like a forklift? Drop

1:10:40

the fucking, you know, like a

1:10:42

box of some shit. Just burst

1:10:44

them? Dropped a box of Mu

1:10:46

Dang! It dropped on Mu Doudin?

1:10:48

Me Dang! That's a lie. The

1:10:50

other line was fine. The other

1:10:53

line that was ridiculous is when

1:10:55

the sheriff first pulls him over

1:10:57

and asks where he's going. The

1:10:59

initial line. So I think all

1:11:01

stolen says now is I'm just

1:11:03

passing through. Yeah. Right? The initial

1:11:05

line was. So he says, hey

1:11:07

there, where are you walking? Where

1:11:09

are you going? And so says,

1:11:11

did you ever see Easy Rider?

1:11:14

Yeah. Well I'm Easy Walker. Oh

1:11:16

no! Oh no! Who the fuck,

1:11:18

who the fuck writes that? He's

1:11:20

like, that's a bad one there.

1:11:22

You'd probably turn it on. And

1:11:24

this is a mental fact, and

1:11:26

I can't for the life of

1:11:28

me, I spent most of the

1:11:30

drive through here listening to this

1:11:32

and try to work out what

1:11:35

the fuck he's talking about. Okay.

1:11:37

Chris Rhea says the film rambo,

1:11:39

First Blood, is the inspiration for

1:11:41

his classic driving home for Christmas.

1:11:43

What? I cannot think of... because

1:11:45

at no point does he drive.

1:11:47

Yeah. It's not where he lives.

1:11:49

So he's not heading home. I

1:11:51

have no idea what the fuck

1:11:53

he's talking about. Maybe we should

1:11:56

listen to the lyrics. You know

1:11:58

the lyrics. I know the lyrics.

1:12:00

I listen to it the way

1:12:02

he's there. You always do that.

1:12:04

Yeah, I don't know how... And

1:12:06

I did it under duress as

1:12:08

well because I have a huge,

1:12:10

my kids hate it, I have

1:12:12

a huge, weird superstitious about not

1:12:14

listening to Christmas music or watching

1:12:17

traditional Christmas films before the 1st

1:12:19

of December because I think it's

1:12:21

bad luck and it means you

1:12:23

love a shy Christmas. Odd, yeah,

1:12:25

that's odd. But I listened to

1:12:27

this, I actually listened to, what

1:12:29

I did to bypass my superstition

1:12:31

was I listened to a cover

1:12:33

version, so it wasn't actually the

1:12:35

Chris Rea version, but I can't

1:12:38

for the life of me think

1:12:40

of the lyrics, how the fuck,

1:12:42

driving off a Christmas relates to

1:12:44

First Blood. I do thank you

1:12:46

for sharing, I do enjoy when

1:12:48

you put in the little tidbits

1:12:50

of how you're mentally ill, but

1:12:52

I do. But I enjoy the

1:12:54

fact that Chris raised, yeah. If

1:12:56

the lyrics were like a whole

1:12:59

minute, if you listen closely, next

1:13:01

time it's like driving home for

1:13:03

Chris, please. I've got fucking Charlie

1:13:05

in the radio. I'm peeled, honestly.

1:13:07

Cut that fucking board a bit.

1:13:09

Driving through Maule pang. I loved

1:13:11

it. Really really enjoyable. Again, again,

1:13:13

when I complained again, I was

1:13:15

like, I don't know, it's like,

1:13:17

I don't know, it's like classic.

1:13:20

I do enjoy it, you know

1:13:22

what I enjoyed, but the one

1:13:24

I had to, last thing I

1:13:26

had to mention about ramping, you

1:13:28

know, he's flying on the motorbike

1:13:30

and the police car, they got

1:13:32

air. Oh yeah, they like fucking

1:13:34

airborne. They cocks a wheelie at

1:13:36

one point for no reason as

1:13:38

well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just because

1:13:41

he can. Yeah, he's got the,

1:13:43

right. Next week, completely changing genre.

1:13:45

A genre. A genre. genre. We

1:13:47

are watching a film that I

1:13:49

absolutely adore and I think I

1:13:51

have a feeling you hate this

1:13:53

film. That's cute too. I think

1:13:55

you've mentioned it before to me,

1:13:57

how much you don't like this

1:13:59

film, but you might not have.

1:14:02

It is one of, in my

1:14:04

mind, the best comedies of the

1:14:06

80s is Ferris Bulars. Ferris Bulars

1:14:08

Day off. Ferris Bulars Day off?

1:14:10

As a day off? Day off?

1:14:12

Ferris Bulars Day out? I feel

1:14:14

as Ferris Bulars. I thought it

1:14:16

was a big day off. Well,

1:14:18

well, I can't wait to talk

1:14:20

about, I can't wait to talk

1:14:23

about, you know, you know, you

1:14:25

know, you know, Roderick, Roderick, Roderick,

1:14:27

Roderick, Roderick, Roderick, Roderick, Roderick, Roderick,

1:14:29

Roderick, Roderick, Roderick, Roderick, Rod. Oh

1:14:31

yeah, yeah, that's another reason why

1:14:33

I thought it would be good

1:14:35

to do it. Yeah, we read

1:14:37

Kerr splattering some from from Anna.

1:14:39

Yeah, okay. I have, no, I

1:14:41

don't like the story. Yes. This

1:14:44

is really good funny because I

1:14:46

also haven't seen it, no I

1:14:48

have, so it's going to be

1:14:50

very funny being a scurving one

1:14:52

on two. Yeah, I reckon I

1:14:54

watched this a bit, I'll Ferris.

1:14:56

Yeah, apart from that, just keep

1:14:58

doing what you do. Yeah, we're

1:15:00

going to do a pagean, quick

1:15:02

pagean episode here. Yes. This week

1:15:05

we're doing six-shooter. Yeah, it's the

1:15:07

first time we're doing a patron

1:15:09

episode. We're actually doing a film.

1:15:11

Doing a film. Doing a film.

1:15:13

Doing a something. Doing some things.

1:15:15

But it's a short film. But

1:15:17

it's a short, short film. So

1:15:19

we're going to do six-shooter. We're

1:15:21

going to start asking people on

1:15:23

the calendar. We'll do Ferris Buller

1:15:26

next week and then one more

1:15:28

week which will be your pick.

1:15:30

And then after that it's four

1:15:32

weeks of Christmas films where we'll

1:15:34

do a patron Christmas films that

1:15:36

you guys who are patrons can

1:15:38

pick. Yeah so please make sure

1:15:40

you join and I'll let him

1:15:42

keep us going. Yeah. But I

1:15:44

don't know if I'm in Dublin

1:15:47

this weekend so if you're around

1:15:49

Dublin. Yeah I'm in Manchester at

1:15:51

the Frogin Bucket if you're about

1:15:53

and... If you are there, then

1:15:55

please don't heckle. Or I'll give

1:15:57

you a war you won't believe.

1:15:59

Bye. started.

1:16:52

You