Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
A weekly Comedy podcast
Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Episodes
Episodes of Absolute Cuts With Mark Nelson & Ryan Cullen
Mark All
"Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch"Episode 87 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999 fallen angel-ing, last scion-ing, female Almighty-ing classic Dogma. Ryan and Mark talk about pilates, Kneecap, and Nelson
"You know what, Anderson? You're starting to get so far up my nose, I'm beginning to feel your boots on my chin!"Episode 86 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 cornholing, shitkicking, good ole boying class
"Guns don't kill people. People kill people"Episode 85 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 xray showing, DMXing, Aaliyahing pile of shit Romeo Must Die. Ryan and Mark talk about crows, offensive Irish jokes
"You've got red on you"Episode 84 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004 flesh eating, Mother shooting, Don't Stop Me Now-ing classic Shaun Of The Dead. Ryan and Mark talk about pig farms, comfortable shoes an
“Allow myself to introduce... myself.”Episode 83 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 shagadelicking, big bag of ssshhing, yeah babying classic Austin Powers. Ryan and Mark talk about aspirin, Val Kilmer and
“You gotta always protect the McNuggets”Episode 82 of Absolute Cuts sees host Ryan Cullen and special guest host Daniel Sloss discuss the 2005 drunk driving, sadistic wardening, convict touchdowning classic The Longest Yard. Ryan and Daniel ta
"And remember, it's "Ma'am" as in "ham", not "Ma'am" as in "farm"."Episode 81 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 stag hunting, curtseying, People's Princess murdering classic The Queen. Mark & Ryan talk ab
"Now were you rushing or were you dragging?"Episode 80 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2014 chair hurling, finger bleeding, Caravaning classic Whiplash. Mark & Ryan talk about breakfast in a bag, the Glaston
"Nice beaver"Episode 79 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 Queen first pitching, dual safe sexing, OJ Simpsoning classic The Naked Gun. Mark & Ryan talk about modern audiences, getting out of jury duty, an
"I suppose a ride is out of the question?"Episode 78 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 Spanish sailoring, pints with the ladsing, drinking while pregnanting classic The Snapper. Mark & Ryan discuss eating
"This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers."Episode 77 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001 chain smoking, Chardonnay drinking, massive pant wearing horror show Bridget Jones's Diary. Mark & Ryan discu
"The last time I was in water like this I had to stay up all night picking leeches off my scrotum"Episode 76 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 wasp choking, Owen Wilson shagging, sneering at J-Loing class
"Swing away Merrill"Episode 75 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2002 crop circling, faith losing, half water drinking classic Signs. Mark & Ryan discuss what they would do to each other's corpses, where Culle
“I'd hit him with my car if he wouldn't make body casts a fashion statement"Episode 74 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 thong wearing, oestrogen slurping, herpes advertising bin fire John Tucker Must Die
"Pop quiz hot shot”Episode 73 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 lift dropping, subway beheading, 50mph-ing classic Speed. Mark & Ryan discuss why you don’t get many mad bastards anymore, Nelson explains h
"Don't do my dad doggy-style. He's got very bad knees."Episode 72 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2015 Nutcracker Balling, Cocaine blooding, Miley Cyrusing classic The Night Before. Mark & Ryan discuss Bram
"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs"Episode 71 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 bare footing, yippe ki aying, now I have a machine gunning classic Die Hard. Mark & Ryan discuss
"SANTA"Episode 70 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the twirly wirly gum dropping, son of a nutcrackering, cotton headed ninimugginsing classic Elf. Mark & Ryan discuss hangover cures, the state of modern society
"Merry Christmas ya filthy animal...and a happy New Year"Episode 69 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 bird womaning, sticky banditing, Trump cameoing classic Home Alone 2 : Lost In New York. Mark & Ryan d
"Better to be someone for a day than no one for a lifetime."Episode 68 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 sheep shooting, FILA wearing, cunt ordering classic The Business. Mark & Ryan discuss dentists, Wic
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it"Episode 67 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 school skipping, Ferrari joyriding, Danke Schoening classic Ferri
"I'll give you a war you wouldn't believe."Episode 66 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1982 vagrant arresting, mineshaft crawling, PTSDing classic First Blood. Mark & Ryan discuss poppies, why London is shit
"You can't let the animals die in a movie, only the women."Episode 65 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 dog kidnapping, Irish alcoholicing, Joshua Tree shoot-outing classic Seven Psychopaths. Mark & Ryan
"We are never going into the woods again"Episode 64 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003 organ jarring, rednecking, in breeding horror Wrong Turn. Mark & Ryan discuss stealing from train companies, Trump on
"What's your favourite scary movie?"Episode 63 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1996 Barrymore slashing, Arquette stabbing, ghost facing classic Scream. Mark & Ryan discuss DIY haircuts, sex after relatives h
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