0:00

Hey, it's Kathy. There's something fun I just

0:02

want to tell you about. I'm doing

0:04

a free pop -up workshop on podcasting February

0:06

12th and 13th. I'll be going live and talking

0:08

about how you can grow and monetize your podcast,

0:10

turn up the volume on your voice and your

0:12

message, and really step into your full power. Again,

0:14

it's completely free, so if you want to sign

0:16

up, you can go to kathyheller.com/volume. I hope

0:18

to see you there. Hey,

0:22

guys, it's Kathy Heller. Welcome back to Abundant

0:24

Ever After. I hope

0:26

you had a great weekend. My daughters did

0:28

a little slime and lemonade stand, and

0:31

I just have to say

0:33

that it's so heartwarming,

0:35

just meeting regular people, strangers

0:38

of all different backgrounds. People were

0:40

so kind, just people were so

0:42

sweet, wanting to give them a

0:44

tip, wanting to just give them

0:46

money for no reason. Always

0:48

saying the nicest things, and I was just standing

0:50

there and tears came to my eyes so

0:53

many times. I'm like, gosh, you know, you can

0:55

read the news and think of the world

0:57

in one way, or you can just go outside

0:59

and spend a little time in your own

1:01

neighborhood and just see the beauty

1:03

in people, the kindness in people.

1:05

It's just so cool. So

1:08

I'll put some Instagram stories up

1:10

and show you a little clip of that, but that

1:12

was just really heartwarming. Speaking of heartwarming,

1:14

I'm excited for today's episode. We're doing

1:16

something different today because one of our

1:18

students, Kat Caldwell, who's such a special

1:20

person, she started her podcast a little

1:22

while ago, and she's just got so

1:24

much depth and she interviewed me on

1:26

her podcast, and it was such a

1:28

beautiful conversation that in the end I

1:30

said to her, wow, is there a

1:32

chance that you would want me to

1:34

air this on my podcast because you

1:36

did such a phenomenal job and I

1:38

enjoyed it so much, and she was

1:40

so generous and she said, of course. So

1:43

this is what you're going to be

1:45

hearing today. We went through so many

1:47

different things that I've been going through

1:49

in the last year, like the L

1:51

.A. Fires, what happened with my dad

1:54

who passed away in July, some more

1:56

about my book, and I just thought

1:58

that the conversation, the way she - held

2:00

the conversation there was so much love there

2:02

was so much depth it was really such

2:04

a joy to talk with cat and I

2:06

want to thank her for being an incredible

2:09

podcast host and you could check out her

2:11

show it's called Mom's Adventure Paradox podcast and

2:13

this conversation is going to be airing on

2:15

her podcast as well in a few weeks

2:17

but in the meantime you can enjoy other

2:19

episodes that she has so I think there

2:22

is beautiful insight here and I'm excited for

2:24

us to get to play this for you

2:26

here take a listen. It's Kat

2:28

here with the Mom's Adventure

2:30

Paradox podcast and I'm really

2:32

excited to have a very very special

2:35

guest with me here today. Kathy Heller,

2:37

if it were not for you, I

2:39

am not sure I would have a

2:42

podcast right now. I'm so glad you're

2:44

here. How are you doing today and

2:46

where in the world are you? I'm so

2:49

happy to be with you. You have such

2:51

a force of energy inside of

2:53

you. It's always fun to see you

2:55

and to watch you. spinning energy

2:57

into new worlds as you kind

2:59

of move with such passion through

3:01

the world. It's beautiful. So

3:04

beautiful. I'm in Los Angeles. You

3:06

and I were just talking before

3:08

we started this broadcast

3:10

about how bumpy it's been. And it's

3:12

also for those of us who, you

3:15

know, really sort of open up

3:17

to the invitation of the

3:19

spiritual like work we're all doing,

3:21

there's always a both hand. And

3:23

so it's been both really. so heartbreaking

3:26

to just see the devastation

3:28

that's happened in Los Angeles

3:30

and this beautiful earth and

3:33

the people who've just lost

3:35

so much. And while that's

3:37

happening, there's also this like

3:40

incredible connection of purpose and

3:42

heart opening and giving and away

3:44

in which the city has never

3:47

loved its way through life and

3:49

nothing like this before. So

3:51

I think there's always a lot that's

3:53

happening. for us to sort of,

3:56

you know, it's an invitation, right?

3:58

It's an initiation. And

4:00

I saw that the first night of

4:02

the fire, we were evacuated for 10

4:04

days and the fire the first night

4:07

came as close as four doors down

4:09

from us. And so that first

4:11

night was really a traumatic moment.

4:14

And there were so many incredible

4:16

lessons because the first lesson

4:18

was how it feels in my body

4:21

when I have to literally be in

4:23

fighter flight, which you realize, oh,

4:25

I actually never am, right. This

4:27

is that. those other things are

4:29

not. That's an illusion. This is

4:31

that. And then how capable we are

4:33

of showing up and rising to those

4:36

moments, and also have dysregulating

4:38

it is in the nervous

4:40

system. And also, when you have

4:42

a minute to leave your house, I thought

4:44

it was fascinating that when

4:47

I asked myself, what do I want

4:49

to take? I wanted my humans,

4:51

right? actually nothing else like not

4:53

one thing nothing was the answer like

4:56

night in pack anything the only thing

4:58

I grab besides my children and the

5:00

cats was the antibiotic that my cat

5:02

needed I ran to the fridge to

5:05

get it and I was like okay

5:07

it's very clarifying that like you work

5:09

to create a life that has purpose

5:11

and then along the way you also

5:14

create material things and you build structures

5:16

and you build piles of things and

5:18

you build piles of things and then

5:20

you go Oh, they mean zero to me, which

5:23

is so interesting. Like when it comes

5:25

down to it, it can, it's nothing.

5:27

That's what it is. So that's fascinating.

5:29

And then the next lesson was that,

5:31

there were two more. The next lesson was

5:33

that as we drove away from the

5:35

fire, literally, I didn't know where we were

5:38

going to go. So it was really

5:40

in the unknown, which is very much

5:42

what the spiritual practice is all about,

5:44

because in the mind, we want certainty

5:46

and in the heart. because there is

5:48

always equanimity, we live in infinite

5:50

possibility. And so all of a

5:53

sudden I start calling hotels and

5:55

they're already full because people have

5:57

been evacuating all day and it's 815 now

5:59

at night. And then a friend of mine

6:01

says, why don't you just get down

6:03

here? And I'm thinking to myself, am

6:06

I really going to be up for

6:08

receiving this much of a kindness? Because

6:10

there's three kids, there's four cats,

6:12

there's a lot of, what on

6:14

earth? And I decided I'm just

6:16

going to let her, like, I'm going

6:18

to do it. And it was really

6:20

uncomfortable. And I did it anyway. And

6:23

we drove the three hours south. And

6:25

then the next beautiful lesson,

6:27

because we got there in the

6:29

morning. and chickens. And my

6:31

daughter goes, mom, can we go

6:33

outside to the farm? And we

6:35

literally go be in the earth. And I'm

6:38

looking out over the horizon. And

6:40

I'm thinking about, with tears

6:42

screaming at my face, how we

6:44

have these moments in our life

6:46

where we realize we're holding on

6:49

so tightly to something when

6:51

there was a whole different paradigm

6:53

that was available to us. And

6:55

so we spent a week because

6:58

we... The National Guard was literally

7:00

surrounding our area. We couldn't even

7:02

come back if we want. It

7:05

was not an option. So over

7:07

10 days not being home, we

7:09

found home in friendship. We found

7:12

home in the earth and we

7:14

were gardening and riding horses.

7:16

And I was like, it's so

7:18

obvious what the problem is and

7:21

how painful it is. But then there's

7:23

this other thing that's really obvious,

7:25

which is how much of a

7:27

blessing it is to all of

7:30

a sudden do question. What is

7:32

it that you've decided is your

7:34

life in its totality and what

7:36

else is available? And how many

7:38

other ways could you be living more

7:40

alive? And so we come back to

7:42

LA and we're like, the air is bad,

7:45

my daughter is asthma, she's unable to

7:47

go to school and I'm like. I

7:49

think we're being asked to be on the earth

7:51

more to care of the earth more and so

7:53

we have a property we've been building in Florida

7:56

and we can grow our own food and we

7:58

can kids can ride horses and I'm like Okay,

8:00

so we're saying goodbye to this

8:02

one avatar this identity I built

8:04

my whole adult life and now

8:07

it's like that gets to be

8:09

burned to the ground so that

8:11

there's like a softened sort of

8:14

underlying soul that gets to

8:16

come through that's maybe not as

8:18

much inside of this sort of

8:20

iteration of me. So I think

8:22

that that is just wild and

8:24

gorgeous and liberating. And my word

8:26

for the year was liberation. Oh.

8:29

I had no idea. It was

8:31

like, everything you know is no longer

8:33

going to be your reality. But what

8:35

a gift it is, right? When you

8:37

realize you can be not attached to

8:39

everything in your external experience because

8:42

what is always the richest

8:44

part of you and the abundance

8:46

of you is you connected to the

8:48

divine connected to the mystical, ready to

8:50

be nimble surfing like the wave just.

8:53

fully in the flow of the river

8:55

rather than holding on so tightly that

8:57

you break. So, oh my gosh, a

8:59

lot of gifts in it. Oh, so

9:02

many gifts right there. And I was

9:04

thinking so apropo. You know, I

9:06

was looking at your book and I

9:08

was reading actually your meditation

9:11

this morning where you

9:13

talked about this world

9:15

is actually immaterial in

9:17

your experience and like

9:19

the depth of kindness and your rabbi

9:21

saying Kindest thing the most spiritual thing

9:23

you could do today is to go

9:25

and wash the widow's dishes right now

9:28

We can make it so complicated and

9:30

I think for folks who don't know you

9:32

just to make sure I'm going to read

9:34

this from the very back Just this sentence

9:36

because it's so great in your new book

9:38

abundant ever after which we're going to be

9:40

talking a lot about today But it says

9:43

about the author, Kathy Heller is an

9:45

incredible spiritual teacher, that should be capital

9:47

I by the way, incredible spiritual

9:49

teacher and coach who specializes in helping

9:52

women create wealth and next level happiness.

9:54

She is host of the abundant ever

9:56

after podcast and author of Don't Keep

9:59

Your Day job. the book. I want to

10:01

talk a little bit about your first book

10:03

because the experience of this second

10:05

book and I had a similar experience when

10:07

I wrote my book and I've been

10:09

working and studying your work for two

10:11

and a half years now and this

10:13

book like I had talked about writing

10:16

it and it was the experience of

10:18

I'm pregnant with a book baby and

10:20

we're gonna birth this thing right I

10:22

heard you say the same thing Kathy.

10:24

Will you talk about the experience of

10:26

writing your first book and then the

10:28

experience of writing abundant ever after? I

10:31

mean, yeah, first of all, it's so

10:33

cool how we continue to find more

10:35

treasure in our experience and who we

10:37

are and what's available for us to

10:39

give to the world. Like, it's just

10:41

this never ending through the looking

10:43

glass, like awesome ride. And so

10:46

at the time that I wrote

10:48

my first book, like, that was

10:50

the thing that I wanted to

10:52

say at the time I wrote

10:54

that book, I felt that the

10:56

opposite of depression. or yeah, it wasn't

10:58

happiness, but it was a sense

11:00

of purpose. And I felt so

11:02

strongly that people understood that they

11:05

had these gifts that were collecting

11:07

dust on a shelf inside their

11:09

soul, and I wanted people to

11:11

know that they were overqualified to

11:13

share those gifts and that God

11:15

in the infinite wisdom of the

11:17

divine consciousness would never give you

11:19

a life that would be met.

11:21

The methodology is not assigned

11:24

to you. And that you were born

11:26

with a gift that the way you

11:28

show up in a certain way, whether

11:30

you're a good listener or you're a

11:32

good matchmaker or you're good at blowing

11:35

glass or you're good at baking, there

11:37

is a quality that you have that

11:39

is a calling. And I felt like

11:41

it was a mandate on your soul

11:43

for you to live into the potential

11:46

that... It is possible that you could

11:48

have a job that doesn't feel like

11:50

work and that it's an assignment because

11:52

I thought to myself if the opposite

11:54

of depression is purpose and all day

11:56

long instead of phoning in some job

11:58

people don't like, they do. the thing that

12:00

lights their soul on fire, then people would

12:02

be in purpose and they would be happy

12:04

and they'd be making money doing things that

12:07

make them happy. So that was the message at

12:09

the moment. And then over

12:11

time, I felt like

12:13

the next message that was coming through was,

12:15

what does it even mean to answer

12:17

the question, who am I and why

12:20

am I here? And when you go

12:22

beneath that, it's like, what is yourself

12:24

with the capital S? And if everybody

12:26

really wants abundance, and as Wayne Dyer

12:28

says, if we don't get what we want,

12:30

but we always get what we are,

12:32

then the fact that people didn't realize

12:34

that they are abundance itself

12:36

was what was keeping them from having

12:38

the experience of abundance. And I was

12:40

like, well, I want to show

12:42

people the truth of

12:44

the soul, which is the reason that

12:46

you are born to be abundant

12:49

ever after, the reason that you are

12:51

born, that it's your birthright to

12:53

live in a state of abundance, is

12:55

because we didn't come to the

12:57

world for a pile of things. We

12:59

have way bigger dreams and aspirations.

13:01

We're way deeper than that. We don't

13:03

want a car. We want so

13:05

much more than that. And what we

13:07

want is to feel ourself in

13:09

flow state. We want to feel

13:11

the inner beingness of our own

13:14

inner peace. We want to feel

13:16

the spiritual authority and sovereignty when

13:18

we are whole. And that

13:20

is available. It's always a breath

13:22

away. It's in really

13:24

identifying who we are. And

13:26

as my rabbi, who you just talked about

13:28

before, says, a

13:31

masterpiece, a piece

13:33

of the master. And we're each someone

13:35

because we're some of the one. And

13:37

God is infinite, which means there's nowhere

13:39

God isn't. And so therefore we live,

13:41

as Einstein says, in this infinite

13:43

field. And each one of us is

13:46

a wave in this ocean. And

13:48

so we're all connected to each other

13:50

and connected to the ocean, which

13:52

is abundance. And so when you start

13:54

realizing that everything is vibrational and

13:56

you are a frequency, you're going to

13:58

get more turned on by being

14:00

the ultimate frequency that you could be, which

14:02

will turn other people's radios on, and

14:04

then every second of your life, just

14:07

getting to be you, tapped in and

14:09

turned on, is the turn on, you're

14:11

feeling the wholeness, you're feeling the excitement,

14:13

you're feeling the creativity, which means whoever

14:16

you meet, they'll literally, their biology will

14:18

get an upgrade being around you, you'll

14:20

have creative ideas, you'll be loving other

14:23

people into life, you'll be living your

14:25

life's purpose, and then... because that is

14:27

such an abundant experience, because you're so

14:29

tuned to abundance, you will be creating

14:32

abundance in every way on every level,

14:34

whether it's financially, spiritually, it's just what

14:36

you will be, 3D printing. And so

14:38

that became what the message was of

14:41

this book. And like you said, that

14:43

I had that experience of being pregnant

14:45

with the idea. And then I also

14:47

have the experience of peeling back the

14:50

onion, where I would start writing it

14:52

three years ago, and I would be

14:54

like, okay, wait. I didn't say it.

14:57

all the way. I said it a

14:59

little bit and then eventually I realized

15:01

that Rick Rubin said that when people

15:03

create things they often say nothing at

15:06

first because they're scared so what they

15:08

will create he's a music producer of

15:10

course he said usually the thing they

15:12

will create the artists will create the

15:15

sum total of everything that they've heard

15:17

so that they're not rejected and eventually

15:19

Picasso if you go back and Google

15:22

early Picasso it takes decades before you

15:24

start to see him. do anything other

15:26

than copy everyone else and then he

15:28

starts creating what you know and I

15:31

know, know is a Picasso, right? So

15:33

I realized that I needed to really

15:35

not be filtered and just say what

15:37

it is and how I say what

15:40

I want to say. And one of

15:42

my friends. she was talking about human

15:44

design and she said you're a manifesto

15:47

that's your human design and she said

15:49

manifesters are meant to be polarizing and

15:51

so instead of worrying if you're going

15:53

to be too woo or some people

15:56

won't get what you're saying just go

15:58

all in because that is your job

16:00

is a clear path. And when

16:02

you think about people who say

16:05

things, it's not like anything is

16:07

different. The tale is always as

16:09

all this time, but it's when

16:11

you fully say what you're meant

16:14

to say, it will seem different

16:16

because you in your full coherent

16:18

passion. you know, the way you're

16:20

meant to say it will always

16:23

be different. And so eventually I

16:25

rewrote and rewrote the book until

16:27

it finally felt close, really really

16:29

close to as close as I could

16:31

get it to be what I really want

16:34

to say. And that's what I really want

16:36

to say. And that's when I knew.

16:38

Oh, I've just sort of left behind

16:40

down the road that part of me

16:43

that was afraid of my Simon and

16:45

she's used to my publisher, my publisher,

16:47

saying this is too spiritual. I also

16:50

said to my team in July as

16:52

we were preparing for the book release

16:54

in December, I said, just so you

16:56

know, I'm allergic to the idea of grasping

16:58

for bestseller lists. I'm already feeling so

17:00

complete that I did the thing that

17:02

I need to do. The outcome is

17:04

doing the thing. So that's it. We're

17:07

done. And then of course, that is

17:09

the way you manifest. And so we did

17:11

hit the USA Today bestseller list.

17:13

And I didn't even check that

17:15

day. It didn't even cross my

17:17

mind. I didn't even know until

17:19

I saw that there was a

17:21

missed phone call from my publisher

17:23

and then I was like, oh,

17:25

I was so not aware because

17:27

to me the satisfaction was having

17:30

really crossed that ocean to speak

17:32

honestly and it felt so good

17:34

to do the assignment of what

17:36

I knew was the calling to do. So

17:38

it's been really fun to see that

17:40

people. do love it and now it's in the

17:42

airports and I saw it and I signed a

17:44

bunch in LAX and that's a blast. Love

17:47

it, love it, love it so much. All right

17:49

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Dreamjob. I have one

19:18

of the pre-released copies

19:20

that came from your

19:22

summit in November and

19:25

I gotta tell you, I've been studying with you

19:27

for a long time, but to have it

19:29

in a book where you can go back

19:31

and you've got it dog-eared and you know,

19:33

you can take people to places. And then

19:35

I think the other thing that is just

19:37

so powerful that I heard you say over

19:39

and over just now is how I wanted

19:41

to say it, how I wanted to say

19:43

it, how I wanted to say it. And

19:45

for me, working with them studying you. So much

19:47

of what I've learned, Kathy, is that I

19:49

need to hear myself. Like I need to

19:52

hear myself say it again and again and

19:54

again until you get to your own Picasso.

19:56

And you might not be there yet, right?

19:58

You might not be there. You've shared this

20:01

story multiple times and I'm pretty

20:03

sure it's in your book, but

20:05

when a guitar, when the string

20:07

is played, the other guitars resonate

20:09

with that. And my experience of

20:11

working with you is that I

20:13

resonate. Like when I'm hanging out

20:15

with you and I hear you

20:17

sharing your wisdom and saying, podcast,

20:19

podcast, now is the time. And

20:21

I was working with a client

20:23

yesterday. And I was telling him,

20:25

you know, when you're podcasting, it's

20:27

like the spokes on the wheel.

20:29

So there's you, and then every single

20:32

person that you talk to, that becomes

20:34

your voice getting stronger and stronger. And

20:36

I always go back to, isn't that

20:38

beautiful? But Martin Luther King Jr. I

20:41

have a dream. We all know he

20:43

didn't write that speech, but there's a

20:45

part of the story that people forget,

20:48

which is that Mahalia Jackson was in

20:50

the audience, and she yelled out.

20:52

Martin tell him about the dream and

20:54

that is when he went off book

20:56

and he really Started to say it

20:58

to really say it and I was

21:00

like in back. I mean my notes

21:02

from when I first started working

21:04

with you you talk about a

21:06

podcast being like a living book

21:09

because the thing about a book is like

21:11

we do the work. It's it's like

21:13

a child. It has a birth

21:15

date and then it exists and

21:17

it may be reproduced later or

21:19

reprinted but a podcast keeps going

21:22

and that message keeps coming

21:24

through. Have you had any

21:26

breakthroughs or perspective on your

21:28

podcast and your book? And

21:31

I know you rebranded your

21:33

podcast abundant ever after. Any

21:35

thoughts there? Yeah, I mean, we, so

21:37

five years and we've done the

21:39

podcast now for eight years and

21:41

five years in, which is three

21:43

years ago. I knew that I wanted to

21:45

make a pivot with the branding and

21:47

with the message instead of calling it

21:49

don't keep your day job, which was

21:52

even though it was all about purpose,

21:54

don't have a day job to your

21:56

life's work, that's really about purpose. It

21:58

was also considered an entrepreneur podcast. which

22:00

is fine, but I wanted to really

22:02

go deep into sort of the

22:04

self -actualization route, which is what

22:06

I was after from the beginning, but I wanted

22:08

to clarify that. And so, at first, for

22:11

a year, we just called it the Kathy Hillard

22:13

podcast until we could kind of find our

22:15

next place to arrive at, and then

22:17

two years ago, we called it Abundant

22:19

Ever After, which is how I knew

22:21

I would call the book that as

22:23

well. And that feels really good that

22:25

now there's a very clear message.

22:28

And I do think that it's

22:30

a fun and also

22:32

difficult sometimes journey, and sometimes

22:34

the difficulty of the journey is what

22:36

makes it fun. But to really get

22:38

clear, what is your message,

22:41

right? I think that we

22:43

have so many voices coming toward

22:45

us, and so much feedback

22:47

that we sometimes think we have

22:49

five messages or three messages.

22:52

And we do, but there's usually

22:54

one thing that a violin

22:56

does better than a piano.

22:58

Like, there's usually one thing

23:00

that a cello is meant

23:02

to do, right? And so,

23:04

if you think about people like

23:06

Eckhart Toll, somebody would walk

23:08

away and say, I think that his thing is

23:10

like the moment being present. Even

23:12

though, since he has some wisdom, he

23:14

could probably talk about lots of

23:17

things, and he does, that's his thing.

23:19

Or Renee Brown definitely talks about

23:21

a lot of things, but we know

23:23

that vulnerability is really her lane.

23:25

And so, I think at some point,

23:27

it really occurred to me that

23:30

making the spiritual feel real for people

23:32

is my thing. Like, I'm just

23:34

good at talking to anyone, no matter

23:36

what language you speak, if you're

23:38

analytical, if you're this, if you're that,

23:40

if you're from the Midwest, if

23:42

you're from the Northeast,

23:44

it's like, I can somehow

23:47

distill down concepts that

23:49

might have before seemed like

23:51

prickly or you didn't

23:53

quite find your way into those conversations,

23:55

all of a sudden it feels

23:57

very accessible, it feels like love, it

23:59

feels like ease, feels like it's you,

24:01

that is my thing. So we

24:03

liked, I like, I think my

24:05

team really likes the fact that

24:08

now the podcast and the book

24:10

really mirror one another. And then

24:12

we also built this membership called

24:14

This Abundant Life Now, which really

24:16

is a great place to kind

24:18

of do the implementation of what

24:21

we talk about in the podcast

24:23

in the book. And that was

24:25

a journey. And if you think

24:27

about it, it's like, there are

24:29

just so many moments in our

24:31

life where. We, whether we are

24:34

aware of it or not, are

24:36

holding ourselves back, we're the ones

24:38

keeping ourselves from being fully free

24:40

because there's a reason we don't

24:42

just go all in on who

24:44

we actually are. We're afraid that

24:47

will be too much for people.

24:49

We're afraid that we'll outgrow our

24:51

relationships. We're afraid that we're going

24:53

to alienate people, whatever the reasons

24:55

are. And so I do feel

24:58

like there was a real... learning

25:00

to love myself and learning to

25:02

find even more integrity and people

25:04

please last that let me go

25:06

into this alignment. And so now

25:08

it does feel really good that

25:11

they're all very much connected and

25:13

congruent. Oh my gosh. love all

25:15

of that so much and you

25:17

know branding of course having it

25:19

all match and all that too

25:21

yeah I noticed because I have

25:24

this pre-released paperback copy and then

25:26

I have your hard copy one

25:28

title you changed and I think

25:30

talking about what was going on

25:32

the summer before the book was

25:34

released with your healing journey with

25:37

your dad and his essay at

25:39

the end originally is called Ocean

25:41

and then in the version that

25:43

most people are going to have

25:45

it's called lessons from the jetty.

25:48

Would you just speak on that

25:50

and share more with us about

25:52

your relationship with your dad and

25:54

I'm deepest condolences? First of all,

25:56

just the specific. of that is

25:58

that the publisher called it like

26:01

the ocean or something but really

26:03

he had titled it lessons from

26:05

the jetty so when we went

26:07

to finish finish the book we

26:09

made sure that it was like

26:11

the title he had given it

26:14

that was the only reason there

26:16

but the beauty of adding it to

26:18

the book is really such a special

26:20

moment because my dad and I

26:22

like most fathers and daughters have their

26:24

own bumps in the road and It

26:26

depends on the relationship. Some have more,

26:29

some have less, but when I was

26:31

growing up and my whole journey and

26:33

I feel like we're still having a

26:35

relationship, we're just having a different relationship

26:38

now where he's in non-physical form and

26:40

I think anyone who's lost a parent

26:42

totally feels that by the way. Like

26:44

now I feel like he's like my

26:46

superhero with superpowers literally that like is

26:48

like guiding me and moving these around.

26:50

I'll give you a really good example

26:53

of that in one minute. So growing up, my

26:55

dad was... still really kind of figuring

26:57

out how to find his own alignment.

26:59

And he's deaf and he came

27:01

out of a family where he

27:03

was an only child and there

27:05

was a tremendous amount of physical

27:08

abuse and emotional abuse. He even

27:10

had sexual abuse. And so then he

27:12

eventually like stumbles his way through, you

27:14

know, grade school and high school with

27:16

all of that going through all his

27:18

abuse, all of that really intense stuff. he

27:21

had actually tried to run away from

27:23

home multiple times but because he's deaf

27:25

we could only get as far as

27:28

like the subway and then he would

27:30

turn around because it's very scary

27:32

for a deaf person especially a deaf

27:34

child. So ultimately when he married

27:37

my mom they meeting in high

27:39

school and having never really looked

27:41

at their own self-development they weren't going

27:43

to show up with a lot of tools

27:45

and so they had a marriage that was

27:47

extremely hard and unfuffilling and

27:50

stressful and I witnessed that

27:52

until their marriage really blew up

27:54

and he was having affairs and

27:56

he was drinking and it was

27:59

very dysfunctional. And then my mom

28:01

really lost her complete sense of

28:03

self and was very suicidal and

28:05

was spent two different times in

28:07

mental facility care and that actually

28:09

didn't help at all. And so

28:12

my childhood was a lot of

28:14

that, which in the end, looking

28:16

back, it really turned to wisdom

28:18

because it gave me such a

28:20

set up to really seek answers

28:23

and purpose. And there's so much beauty

28:25

in that. But my dad wound up

28:27

leaving and marrying this woman.

28:29

and he really wasn't in my life

28:31

for a long time and the time he

28:34

was in my life prior that wasn't

28:36

really a wonderful experience. So

28:38

I didn't really start my relationship

28:40

with him again until I was in

28:43

my 20s and even then it was

28:45

stressful and he was learning how to

28:47

show up more as he wanted to

28:49

and I could tell but I was still

28:51

having to level set based upon who

28:53

I knew him to be for the first

28:55

20 years. And I was really such

28:57

a people-pleaser as a survival skill.

29:00

So even though he was ready

29:02

to have a real relationship, I was

29:04

sort of stuck in wanting to

29:06

just be a very superficial version

29:08

of myself and maybe also as

29:10

a protection not to go too

29:13

deep. Then in 2020 during the COVID

29:15

pandemic, we moved from LA for

29:17

two years to Florida where both my

29:19

parents lived, my dad and my stepmom

29:21

and my mom. And it wound up

29:24

being another blessing because We were then

29:26

both older and both wiser and we

29:28

had these two years to spend and

29:30

have a string of great moments, just

29:32

a string of them. And then I

29:34

knew about three months before he died,

29:37

not that he was going to die

29:39

in three months, but that he was

29:41

dying. And I knew that it was

29:43

time to be extremely honest. And I

29:46

went to him in April. He died

29:48

in July. And we had this extremely

29:50

powerful conversation where... I literally did not think

29:52

I'd be able to do it up until the

29:54

morning that I went and talked to him and

29:56

just came clean and said here's all the things

29:58

that I've been carrying. around, I didn't

30:01

think I would have the strength. And

30:03

eventually I went to see him and

30:05

he said, of course, tell me anything.

30:07

And I thought I would say one

30:10

of the things that I had carried

30:12

my whole life. And instead, he was

30:14

so grateful to have the intimacy of

30:17

that conversation that he said, please don't

30:19

stop talking. And I stayed there for

30:21

four hours and we had this beautiful

30:24

connection. And it really freed me. And

30:26

then when he passed in July, I

30:28

spent time with him in hospice. And

30:31

what was really powerful is that he

30:33

had gone into his sort of transitioning

30:35

into death. He hadn't opened his eyes

30:38

for a few days, hadn't eaten, hadn't

30:40

drank, he was in hospice, on morphine,

30:42

I've shut. I got there two days

30:45

later on a flight and I started

30:47

singing to him, talking, hanging out with

30:49

me, having the most tender connection. for

30:52

the next day and a half. And

30:54

that was such a medicine. It was

30:56

so healing. It was such absolute love

30:58

both ways that it was like magic.

31:01

And I thought to myself, how come

31:03

this isn't how we spend time with

31:05

everyone we love all the time, just

31:08

like so present, so open, no guards,

31:10

just love, just presence. So that was

31:12

beautiful. And then while we were in

31:15

the hospice room, I saw this essay

31:17

that he wrote about going to the

31:19

ocean every day and about asking God

31:22

for the strength to be prepared for

31:24

whatever the day held ahead of him.

31:26

that the waves were always the constant

31:29

that let you know that no matter

31:31

what you would go through that ocean

31:33

is there every morning and the sun

31:36

rises and it's a prediction that there

31:38

will be a sunrise and that it

31:40

will always follow you and that you

31:42

do have this resilience and it was

31:45

such a beautiful essay and he talked

31:47

about the pelvis. Americans come

31:49

in to get

31:52

their daily sustenance and

31:54

how stunning the

31:56

world is and how

31:59

beautiful it all

32:01

is and how it

32:03

shows and teaches

32:06

the lessons of resilience.

32:08

So we were literally

32:10

finishing the book that week. Like

32:12

we were closing pens down on the

32:14

book that week. And I said to

32:16

my publisher, don't you think

32:18

that that's uncanny, that he's dying and

32:21

can you put this in the back

32:23

of the book? And so they said

32:25

with pleasure and

32:27

it really feels like such

32:29

a blessing that that went

32:31

into the book. Wow.

32:34

I remember you did a podcast

32:36

right around this time. I

32:38

remember listening to it. I

32:40

was at the gym working

32:42

out and I was like

32:44

ball because and you shared

32:46

about I believe a miscarriage

32:48

in one of your podcasts

32:51

to one of your podcasts

32:53

and how intimate the space

32:55

of podcasting is, which is a

32:57

conversation, you know, and so I'm

32:59

right there with you as you're talking about being

33:01

there with your dad and he says, keep

33:04

talking, keep talking, right? Like I'm so

33:06

moved by that story and so

33:08

grateful that you shared it with us

33:10

and that you shared it on

33:12

the podcast and then again today and

33:14

I know you said you're feeling

33:16

him more and more with you like

33:18

recent. You're such a good listener.

33:21

So here's what's crazy is and you

33:23

just said it before we officially

33:25

started today. But so

33:27

my dad passed away in

33:29

July and for whatever

33:31

the reason over the

33:34

last four or five

33:36

years, even before the pandemic, the pandemic

33:38

was definitely a questioning. I think a lot

33:40

of people started asking, where do I really

33:42

want to live? Like, you know, do I

33:44

want to live more in nature? This and

33:46

that anyway, I started asking that question I

33:48

think a year before the pandemic, because I think

33:50

many of us are really good at

33:52

being achievers. And then just because you can

33:54

ski a black diamond doesn't mean that

33:56

it's good for you to do every day.

33:58

And when you have a fight. capacity to tolerate

34:00

doing hard things, you tend to be

34:03

addicted to pressure. So for me having

34:05

a busy life in LA, actually felt

34:07

very normal for my nervous system. With

34:09

all the things I went through as

34:11

a kid, I just replaced that kind

34:13

of, you know, scary stuff. This wasn't

34:15

scary. It was just a tremendous amount

34:17

of pressure. And then that pressure kind

34:19

of felt like equal. And as I

34:21

started to get healthier as a human,

34:24

I realized, oh. I can choose out

34:26

in this pressure. You know, my husband

34:28

and I flipped rolls eight years ago.

34:30

I'm the breadwinner. He doesn't even work.

34:32

Why am I taking on all of

34:34

this and why the traffic and why

34:36

the intensity and why the hosting everybody's

34:38

events? I do that too in LA.

34:40

Like I host everything for everyone and

34:43

it's like as beautiful as that is.

34:45

There's a lot that goes into being

34:47

the person who is always available to

34:49

hold so much, which is what I

34:51

did as a child, right? I was

34:53

holding way too much than I could

34:55

really actually handle. So my dad passed

34:57

away in July, and it was so

34:59

interesting because he had said to me,

35:01

I really wish I could leave you

35:04

guys my house, which was a little

35:06

condo right on the beach. And in

35:08

the end, it didn't work out. And

35:10

then it was really uncanny because we

35:12

had been thinking about Florida, but we

35:14

could not find the right place and

35:16

we had written offers in other places

35:18

in LA, more in the kind of

35:20

countryside, a little further out from the

35:23

city, but never, even when we would

35:25

come up in price, never get the

35:27

right offer, never would match. So my

35:29

dad dies in July, and then sure

35:31

enough, right around September, I see a

35:33

house that... is in Florida my husband

35:35

sends me the link to the house

35:37

as I literally just sent it to

35:39

him. We jinks each other in our

35:42

text and he's like, did you say

35:44

this? I go, did you say it?

35:46

It goes, oh my God, I just

35:48

sent that to you. So I said

35:50

to him, I wonder if we should

35:52

buy this house. And at the time,

35:54

just a few months ago, I thought

35:56

that my kids are in school here

35:58

and isn't really the right thing. lower

36:00

offer because if it's meant to be

36:03

it'll just like sail through and if

36:05

not we won't push too hard we'll

36:07

let God decide. So I write the

36:09

offer on the house and I hear

36:11

back from the realtor the same day

36:13

and the realtor said the owner

36:15

has another offer that's higher

36:17

except that your last name which

36:20

is my dad's last name because

36:22

I don't have my husband's last

36:24

name and the seller is also

36:26

Heller and because of that they

36:28

know it's your house. And I thought, isn't

36:30

it interesting that the last

36:32

conversation I had with my dad is

36:34

he wished that he could leave me

36:37

this home? And now, not only are

36:39

we getting the house, we're getting it

36:41

for $400,000 less than they were asking,

36:43

and we're going to use that money

36:45

now to fix up the house and

36:47

make it this like beautiful thing. So

36:49

when you go to the door of the house,

36:52

it says like the heller home on it,

36:54

right? Because like, that's who lived there

36:56

and they're the only other owners

36:58

owners. And then it turns out that

37:00

the woman who lived there, whose last

37:02

name is Heller, her first name is

37:05

Leot, turns out she's Israeli, which

37:07

I wouldn't have known that. Her

37:09

name is Hebrew, and Leot in

37:11

Hebrew means it is for me. So

37:13

I thought, okay, so your name is, it

37:15

is for me Heller. That's like crazy.

37:17

My last name is Heller. That's

37:19

weird. And then she and I connected

37:22

and we have the same birthday. What?

37:24

And I'm like, are you kidding me right

37:26

now? I think that that's a sign.

37:28

I don't know. I think that's nuts,

37:30

right? So many signs. I mean, then

37:33

we come, you know, to this point

37:35

where there's a fire in LA and

37:37

get this, we close escrow on that

37:39

house in November, and then we

37:42

right away started to fix it

37:44

up because we didn't think we

37:46

needed it right away and this

37:48

and that, we'll move in the

37:50

summer or whatever. So November

37:53

6th or 7th, they start redoing everything, gutting

37:55

the kitchen, gutting the bathrooms, putting in new

37:57

floors, putting in, you know, all the stuff.

37:59

Beautiful. and we were there over Christmas

38:02

break and you know they're making

38:04

progress and this and that and

38:06

then the fires happen and we

38:08

realize we really need a place

38:10

we really do and then we

38:12

say when is the place going

38:14

to be done right because it's

38:16

almost February 1st at this point

38:18

and they estimate he's the guy

38:20

writes back and says I think

38:22

by February 26th which is my

38:24

dad's birthday. Oh my gosh. We're

38:26

getting chill. Three weeks away from

38:28

being done and I said, it

38:30

can't be more clear than that.

38:33

So I really do think that

38:35

the people who leave this world

38:37

who love us the most don't

38:39

leave and they walk over and

38:41

they protect and they move chess

38:43

pieces around because in their infinite

38:45

love for you, you know, a

38:47

last thing I'll say is I

38:49

heard Wayne Dyer talking on a

38:51

video of course to Abraham Hicks

38:53

and he said to her, why

38:55

is it that? My dad passed

38:57

away and he said I had

38:59

such a hard relationship with him

39:01

and one day I like drove

39:03

out to his grave site and

39:06

Fried my eyes up. Mm-hmm. Just

39:08

totally forgave him and da-da-da-da and

39:10

he goes and then that year

39:12

my book became a bestseller and

39:14

she said because When your dad

39:16

transitioned from the physical world into

39:18

pure positive light he could do

39:20

what he actually really was meant

39:22

to do that he wanted to

39:24

do and being a mother and

39:26

you by forgiving him opened up

39:28

the vessel the channel to receive

39:30

right now that connection is just

39:32

on both sides it's so clean

39:34

so of course you know you're

39:36

gonna have this extra superpower and

39:39

I just really feel like that's

39:41

true. Oh so true. You're taking

39:43

me back to last February, actually

39:45

right around this time that my

39:47

grandfather passed, and the day he

39:49

passed, we knew it was coming.

39:51

He was, you know, in his

39:53

early 90s, we knew he was

39:55

coming, but I thought we had

39:57

a little more time. You always...

39:59

want to go have that goodbye,

40:01

right? But I went out skiing and I

40:03

was wearing a wenzie and I got

40:06

on the chairlift with this guy and

40:08

he said to me, he said, there's a

40:10

lot of material there for humor. And

40:12

you know, that whole chairlift ride up, we

40:15

all just were sharing bad jokes

40:17

and my grandfather and I would always

40:19

swap jokes. And so then that night

40:21

when I got the call, they really

40:23

think, you know, he's got the death

40:25

rattle and it's happening now. I realize

40:27

you're with me today, grandfather,

40:30

in Jackson Hole, on that

40:32

chairlift, with a lot of

40:34

material. You know, like, you

40:37

know, there, those moments that

40:39

cause connection, right? And something

40:41

else that comes up in

40:44

the book and also your

40:46

teachings is dream bigger, dream

40:48

bigger, and almost like all

40:50

the way to that other

40:52

side. right, of what we

40:54

cannot see or know, like

40:56

really into that spiritual plane.

40:59

I love the meditation where

41:01

you take us into a

41:03

warehouse and we start really

41:05

seeing all these things that

41:07

we desire and a lot

41:09

of them are material, but a

41:11

lot of them are in that,

41:14

that feeling, like really feeling

41:16

that feeling. write it down

41:18

on paper or say it out loud

41:21

or tell Santa Claus, you know, I

41:23

want this range over, I want this

41:25

beach house, I want this relationship, and

41:28

really you want it because of how

41:30

you believe it will make you feel.

41:32

So once you get that you could

41:34

feel that way right now, you could

41:36

feel that abundance, that wholeness, that

41:38

exhilaration, that freedom, that authenticity, right

41:41

now, and that is your job.

41:43

That is what you are here

41:45

to learn to do. That is

41:48

when you no longer need it

41:50

to happen, but that is when

41:52

it will happen because that is

41:54

when you are the vibrational match

41:57

for what that actually represents. And

41:59

so. that becomes really fun to ask

42:01

yourself what you want and then know

42:04

what the feeling is behind it and

42:06

then give yourself back to that feeling

42:08

and you just keep manifesting more and

42:10

more because then you're in total

42:13

not attachment you didn't need it

42:15

anyway because you've got the sponsored

42:17

feeling of what you wanted which is

42:19

what you were after. Totally. You know another

42:21

exercise that you have in the book

42:23

that I've done with you and

42:26

most folks have probably done some

42:28

variation is the if when. It's

42:30

unbelievable. It's so exhausting. It's like,

42:32

if I lose the weight, then

42:35

I'll be happy. If my husband

42:37

stops drinking, then I'll be happy.

42:39

If this, it's like, no, like

42:41

that's definitely not it because

42:43

that is so disempowering,

42:46

right? That is making a case. You

42:48

cannot feel better until things

42:50

that are outside of your

42:53

control happen, which is a complete

42:55

opposite of how things happen.

42:57

I watched this real the other day

42:59

that my best friend sent to me.

43:02

And it was this guy in prison,

43:04

and he's all lit up talking about

43:06

his spiritual awakening. I don't know if

43:08

you saw it, it was like a

43:10

viral thing. And he's got dreadlocks,

43:12

and he's got this shine in

43:15

his face. He's just so, so

43:17

found himself. And he's telling the

43:19

story about how he got to prison

43:21

for drug trafficking. And he's

43:23

there a couple years. And something

43:26

happens within him. where he

43:28

said he got to a place where

43:30

he finally felt free. Like

43:32

here he is in prison, but

43:34

he finally felt free. He

43:36

was free from his addiction.

43:38

He was free from all

43:41

the stories in his head, and

43:43

he felt his heart, and he

43:45

felt at peace. And no less

43:47

than a day after this big

43:49

feeling came over him, they walk

43:51

into his jail cell and say,

43:54

you're free to go. Meanwhile, he

43:56

had like back-to-back sentences that had not

43:58

yet been fulfilled and he said, what do

44:00

you mean? And the guy says, listen, you

44:02

were put here because there was

44:04

a certain amount of kilos of

44:07

heroin or whatever, and then you

44:09

get a certain amount of time.

44:11

We decided to reopen your

44:13

case, and they tested the drugs,

44:15

and it turned out that most

44:17

of it was actually fake. So

44:20

the amount that was actually

44:22

real, you served your time for. So

44:24

you're free to go. Wow. And the real

44:26

was him telling this true story

44:28

and saying, Of course, because

44:31

I freed myself fully.

44:33

But then of course

44:36

it moved the external

44:38

world and it matched.

44:40

I'm just like, when will

44:43

we realize that it's

44:45

all a hologram? And

44:47

inside of us, what

44:50

feels like an ocean to

44:52

cross is actually a

44:55

millimeter. And it's the

44:57

moving into. alignment,

44:59

wholeness, inequanimity, and courage.

45:02

And when that happens,

45:04

you're just so unhooked

45:06

from needing anything

45:08

to happen, and then it all

45:10

happens. Totally. And it

45:13

doesn't have to take all this time.

45:15

It's 20 seconds of courage. It's a

45:17

90-second meditation. It's take a bath. That

45:19

was actually one when I had my

45:21

babies and I was really feeling they're

45:23

both under two and we've got a

45:26

bunch of horses and cats and dogs

45:28

and big farmer taking care. I felt so

45:30

depleted and overwhelmed and I was working with

45:32

a coach at the time and she said, can

45:35

we come up with one thing you could do

45:37

where you're not taking care of anybody else

45:39

while you do it? And you know what that

45:41

one thing was, Kathy, it was a bath. And I

45:43

realized my grandmother and you have

45:45

so much wisdom from your grandmother

45:47

speaking of those who love us

45:49

on the other side who are working with

45:51

us, right? My grandmother is still with us

45:53

by the grace of God, but she would

45:55

always talk about her back. And when they

45:57

built their home, they built this beauty.

46:00

bathtub in her bathtime, sacred

46:02

time. You are not

46:04

interrupting grandmother during the bath.

46:07

That's a secret. Like unique

46:09

special gift that you have

46:11

even absorbed that at all.

46:13

And I had the same thing

46:15

happen where I started talking

46:17

to a particular coach and she's

46:20

like, you should not only take

46:22

a bath, but put crystal like

46:24

rose quartz like in the bath

46:26

and submerge. And really like.

46:29

allow yourself to fully fill

46:31

up, like, create a sanctuary

46:33

of space and time for yourself.

46:35

And even just saying those

46:37

words out loud again, like, when

46:39

was the last time we considered

46:42

creating a sanctuary of

46:44

time for ourselves every day? Where

46:46

it's like, this is the next

46:49

15 minutes, I'm gonna light a

46:51

candle, get a cup of tea, get

46:53

out my prayer journal, get out

46:55

my prayer journal, get out my

46:57

prayer journal, or close my

46:59

eyes or put my feet in

47:02

the grass or take a bath

47:04

and like in this time

47:06

I there is no one I

47:08

have to be for there

47:10

is nothing I have to

47:12

do other than be and

47:14

how often does that

47:17

even occur and so I do

47:19

think that you know every

47:21

time I've done any

47:24

kind of coaching or

47:26

therapy or EMDR or

47:28

acupuncture or Reiki or you name

47:30

it, silent meditation retreats.

47:33

There's always these nuggets

47:35

that you like take away and

47:37

I think I totally agree with

47:40

you that there has to be some

47:42

practice like some actual

47:44

practice where you every day

47:46

show up for the practice. It's

47:49

not just here in your head,

47:51

but you're doing something to

47:53

like embody what

47:55

you're trying to connect head and

47:58

heart. And I think that that. is

48:00

a good one taking a bath. So

48:02

good and I can't believe we've

48:04

been talking almost an hour having

48:06

so much fun but I'm thinking

48:09

about the the paradoxes and it's

48:11

so interesting you know 1922 was

48:13

the year that we had more

48:16

cars than horses on most major

48:18

streets around the world. So what

48:20

happened at that time when we

48:22

no longer had to connect? with

48:25

an animal who's connected to

48:27

nature, who's connected to the

48:29

environment, to the temperatures now,

48:31

we just turn it, later we have

48:33

windshield wipers, you're going to go through

48:36

the snow, you know. But like, what

48:38

are we passing through? And it's part

48:40

of why I love so much the

48:42

story of the rooster. And I love

48:44

that you have to evacuate LA and

48:46

you end up on a farm. Crazy,

48:49

I know. And then there's a- We

48:51

can't make the stuff, but we know

48:53

that's the story of the rooster. Yeah,

48:55

the roost victims. I know. It's just

48:58

there's so many beautiful gifts, especially in

49:00

traditions that are so old that have

49:02

spanned time and memorial. And so when

49:04

I was first studying in Jerusalem, there

49:06

was a prayer that I thought was

49:09

rather peculiar, because there was in in

49:11

the morning blessings, in the Jewish prayer

49:13

vocal, one of the morning prayers is

49:15

to ask God. to make you like

49:17

a rooster. And I remember when I

49:19

first saw it, that just definitely jumped

49:22

out at me. And so I had

49:24

to ask, you know, what is

49:26

this about? And eventually, the best

49:28

explanation I got was from a

49:30

Holocaust survivor who's since passed away.

49:32

What a blessing of a person. Her

49:34

name was Esther Young, right? She was Hungarian.

49:37

And she said that the idea is that,

49:40

first of all, her father, when she

49:42

was five years old, and she was

49:44

in the concentration camp. she remembered her

49:46

father saying be like a rooster ester

49:49

and the story she tells which i

49:51

think really is such a beautiful way

49:53

of sharing and then i'll i'll share

49:55

what i believe she shared with me

49:57

is what the prayer means and its

49:59

essence So she's in the

50:02

concentration camp and then thank

50:04

God, you know, she winds up getting

50:06

freed after years and then she

50:08

moves to the States, she's living

50:11

in New York City and because

50:13

she had this really beautiful heart

50:15

and once a week she

50:17

used to speak to about

50:19

a thousand people on the

50:22

Upper West Side of Manhattan,

50:24

she's just such a incredibly

50:26

gifted speaker and storyteller. She

50:28

became a little bit well known. And

50:30

during the presidency of George

50:32

W. Bush, he was invited to

50:35

Jerusalem to a Holocaust Memorial

50:37

Service. And he invited her. And she

50:40

went with him on Air Force One.

50:42

And when they were flying back on

50:44

Air Force One, from Jerusalem back to

50:46

the states, he woke her up and told

50:48

her to look outside the window. And

50:50

she did. And he said, do you know

50:53

where you are? And she said, well,

50:55

you're flying over Germany. And I just

50:57

couldn't miss the moment

50:59

to share with you that. And she

51:01

said, oh my goodness, just now,

51:03

she said, I just realize what

51:06

the rooster prayer is. And he

51:08

said, what's that? And she said,

51:10

there's a prayer that my father

51:12

used to say, be like a

51:14

rooster. And she said, you see, the

51:16

rooster is the first one on

51:19

the farm. The very first one

51:21

on the farm. Just when the

51:23

night can't get any darker. That

51:26

split second when it

51:28

can't get any darker

51:30

and it turns to daybreak,

51:32

the rooster grows right

51:34

before the light breaks

51:36

because the rooster says, wake

51:39

up, the dawn is here, and

51:41

that the darkness is not

51:43

the end of the story, the

51:45

light is the end of the

51:47

story. And so she said, there

51:50

I was, right there, where she

51:52

could see out the window. freezing

51:54

cold, having lost so many members

51:56

of her family, watching the gas coming

51:58

out of the gas. gas chambers

52:01

a million and a half

52:03

children like her murdered, six

52:06

million Jews murdered, 11

52:08

total million people of

52:10

all kinds. And she

52:12

said, little would I know that

52:14

one day I'd be flying from

52:16

Jerusalem to the United

52:19

States on Air Force One.

52:21

And she said, except that

52:23

the rooster knew that. And

52:26

that is who I was asked to

52:28

be. And that is

52:30

who I became. So of course,

52:32

because she said I did ask

52:35

to be like a rooster every

52:37

day in that camp and

52:39

I would stand up the chain

52:41

link fence. And even though

52:44

it was so hard to

52:46

do it, I still said that

52:48

prayer. And I ended the

52:50

book with that story because

52:52

when you whittle it all

52:55

down, that is our job

52:57

every day. My grandmother

52:59

used to say it is so easy to see

53:01

the bad, you have to look for the

53:04

good and you will always find it.

53:06

And no matter what we're going through,

53:08

if it's the LA fires, if

53:10

it's the horrendous scary plane crash

53:12

that happened last night, which we

53:14

all saw, if it's anything that's

53:17

happening in your own lives, if

53:19

it's, I mean, there's just no end

53:21

to the contrast and also there's

53:23

no end to the amount of light.

53:26

And we all know sometimes

53:28

when things are the darkest,

53:30

it's because you've been assigned

53:32

the role of being the light. And

53:34

in the darkest nights, one little

53:37

candle shines so much brighter than

53:39

it does in the middle of

53:41

the summer, right? On the brightest

53:43

days of the year. So that is the

53:45

mandate, is like to be the rooster.

53:48

And, you know, I'm so glad you asked

53:50

that question. It's such a beautiful

53:53

reminder. for everybody and

53:55

myself every time I say

53:57

it. Be the rooster. And I think,

53:59

you know, just a moment. It's pause

54:01

for all those who lost

54:03

their homes, lost their livelihood,

54:05

lost so recently. Thousands of

54:08

homes, thousands of people's memories,

54:10

people who didn't even have

54:12

fire insurance. I mean, it's,

54:14

I've read, I believe this

54:16

is correct, that it was

54:18

the biggest US fire in

54:20

history. Yeah. Really significant loss.

54:22

And not just in terms

54:24

of the structures, but I

54:26

think this gorgeous earth. We're

54:28

interested with the amount of

54:30

asbestos that's been released into

54:33

this beautiful ocean. There is

54:35

a lot to really grieve and then

54:37

to maybe hopefully use it as

54:39

an invitation to say, what

54:42

are we going to do to double

54:44

down on loving the earth now? What

54:46

are we going to do to it

54:48

down on? prioritizing what

54:50

actually matters, which is this friendship. And

54:52

even though we're doing this because of

54:54

a fire, which is unfortunate, how do

54:56

we sustain this when the times are

54:58

good? How do we build the

55:00

community in LA, not in a tragedy,

55:03

but in a time where everything is

55:05

actually okay. So I think there's a

55:07

lot to be learned and hopefully the

55:09

good parts of what's come out of it

55:11

will be taken with us. Totally. Yeah. This

55:13

is a bit of a segue, but

55:16

I wanted to share this. You shared

55:18

this long ago. Oh, yeah. So for

55:20

our listeners who can't see it, it's

55:22

sort of a black and white Siena

55:25

image of a child and a mother,

55:27

and it says, if your wounded mom's

55:29

higher self could speak to your conscious

55:31

self, this is what the mom would

55:34

say. I'm not going to heal and

55:36

wake up to my truth in this

55:38

lifetime, but you will. You have all

55:40

the codes to make it all

55:42

happen for your soul. And then,

55:44

you'll raise the frequency

55:47

for the collective. This

55:49

is what you do, Kathy. Like,

55:51

you raise the frequency. I

55:53

mean, looking at all of

55:55

these little podcast babies, we

55:57

were like, come under your

55:59

wing. That is such an incredibly

56:02

generous thing to say. And

56:04

that quote, which I

56:06

posted from whoever posted

56:08

it, I think I tagged

56:10

her, I think her Instagram is

56:13

like at the Loving Guide

56:15

or something like that. But, and

56:17

that is just such a profound

56:19

thing, like you have the

56:21

codes. I saw recently somebody said

56:24

like you are the answer

56:26

to your ancestor's prayers.

56:28

Yeah. You're the hope. Like, that

56:30

is amazing. You know, think about

56:33

all of us. If you're here,

56:35

what people had to do so

56:37

that you could be here, how

56:39

many people had to make choices

56:42

and sacrifices and

56:44

decisions for us to be

56:46

here through the test of time.

56:48

Totally. Oh, and I feel like.

56:51

We can make it again so complicated,

56:53

right? But just coming back down to

56:55

the A B Cs of Kathy Heller.

56:57

And one of my favorite interviews you

57:00

did was with Matthew McConaughey, where you

57:02

were like, oh my God, you're so

57:04

hot. Oh my God, you're so hot.

57:06

Oh my God, you're so hot. I

57:09

was thinking, knowing I was talking

57:11

to you today. I was thinking, I

57:13

love you so much. I love you.

57:16

You've changed my life. You've changed my

57:18

life. You've changed my life. And I

57:20

did actually go through all the

57:22

ABCs. So I'll post them for

57:25

fun. But I was thinking

57:27

the ABCs of Kathy Heller

57:29

would be abundant boldly and

57:31

create because we came

57:34

here to create. So thank you

57:36

for. playing your instruments. I love

57:38

your music by the way. I

57:40

know you haven't been singing that

57:42

much except for you were riffing

57:44

in the kitchen I saw doing

57:46

a little karaoke and just the

57:48

healing of music and using our

57:50

voice and sharing our stories and

57:53

connecting and you know I really

57:55

believe so much of my work

57:57

is connecting to the animals and

57:59

connecting people. to their animals and

58:01

then to the earth and to

58:03

our essential nature. And so much

58:05

of it comes through what it

58:07

is we're saying, but we just

58:09

don't take the time to even hear

58:12

ourselves. So thank you. That is

58:14

so beautiful. I love that you are

58:16

so tuned into that and I love

58:19

that you bring people back to

58:21

that. There's so much in

58:23

relating to nature that calls us

58:26

forward and shows us a mirror. and

58:29

heals us at the same time. So I

58:31

love that you're drawn to that.

58:33

Oh, so rooting and wronging and

58:35

nourishing. And I'm rooting for you

58:37

to get a rooster in Florida, just

58:39

so you know. I was thinking the

58:42

same thing. I'm like, can I make

58:44

that happen? Speaking the same thing.

58:46

Let's do it. Well, anything I

58:48

can do to help. I know lots of

58:50

people with roosters. So I love that. I

58:53

love that. We got a rooster circle. All

58:55

right, I love you so much, Kathy Heller.

58:57

For those who have never heard of

58:59

you before, can you just tell us

59:01

where you want people to find you,

59:03

your website, your links, follow, we'll have

59:05

it all in the show notes. Be

59:08

a part of whatever feels good to

59:10

you. You can listen to the podcast,

59:12

which is called a budget ever after,

59:14

of course you can come to my

59:16

Instagram, which is just at Kathy dot

59:18

Heller. And I think that any of

59:20

those places. there'll be something

59:23

that you can feel like

59:25

feeds your soul and hopefully

59:27

you'll just feel like you walk

59:29

through your day a little bit more

59:31

like you so yeah joy be a

59:34

party. Thank you and I'm rooting

59:36

for you on this next

59:38

chapter of your adventure home.

59:40

Thank you I'd love that. For

59:42

me home is where the horses

59:44

are my kids too but you

59:46

gotta have horses that's where you

59:49

know you're home. Thank you for

59:51

this practice. Thank you for this

59:54

time. Have a beautiful day. We'll

59:56

see you later. That was awesome. And

59:58

I just want to think. cat again

1:00:00

for having me on your show. That

1:00:02

was one of my favorite interviews I've

1:00:04

done. I really appreciate you so much. All

1:00:06

right, here are the takeaways. Number one,

1:00:08

the richest part of you and the abundance

1:00:10

of you is you connected to the

1:00:12

divine, connected to the mystical fully in the

1:00:15

flow of the river. Number two,

1:00:17

you were born to be abundant ever after.

1:00:19

Number three, we didn't come to the world for

1:00:21

a pile of things. What we want is

1:00:23

to feel like ourself, to feel the inner beingness

1:00:25

of our own inner peace. We want to

1:00:27

feel the spiritual authority and sovereignty when we are

1:00:29

whole. That is all available. It's always a

1:00:31

breath away. Number four, get really

1:00:33

clear on your message. Number five,

1:00:36

what feels like an ocean to cross

1:00:38

is actually a millimeter. It's the

1:00:40

moving into alignment, wholeness and equanimity and

1:00:42

courage. When that happens, you're

1:00:44

so unhooked from needing anything to happen.

1:00:46

And then it all just happens. Number

1:00:49

six, allow yourself to fully fill up,

1:00:51

create a sanctuary of space and time

1:00:53

for yourself. And number

1:00:55

seven, be like a rooster. The rooster crows

1:00:57

right before the light breaks because the rooster

1:00:59

says wake up. The dawn is here. The

1:01:01

darkness is not the end of the story.

1:01:03

It's only the beginning. Thank you

1:01:05

so much for listening. This community is such

1:01:07

an incredible gift to me and I appreciate

1:01:10

every single one of you. We have so

1:01:12

many good episodes coming up. So please follow

1:01:14

along on Apple Podcasts or Spotify wherever you're

1:01:16

listening. And if you feel so inclined, please

1:01:18

review at a rating because it helps other

1:01:20

people find the show. If you can think

1:01:22

of someone who would benefit from today's episode,

1:01:24

maybe you could text them the link or

1:01:27

post about the show on your Instagram. And

1:01:29

finally, I'm actually doing a free podcasting workshop.

1:01:31

It's on February 12th and 13th. If you

1:01:33

want to spend two days with me and

1:01:35

learn about how you can grow

1:01:37

and monetize your podcast, then

1:01:39

you can sign up at kathyheller.com/volume.

1:01:42

I love you so much and I'll talk to you next

1:01:45

week.