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on ABC and stream on Hulu. Hello,

1:08

friend. Welcome back to Adrenaline, Realm's Thriller channel.

1:10

I am your host, Neil Helligars, and here

1:12

we are at the exciting conclusion to The

1:14

Understudy. I hope you've enjoyed it. I very

1:16

much have. I have some thoughts I'd love

1:18

to talk to you about, but let's get

1:21

right into it. Just to previously on you

1:23

a little bit, Carolyn Sloothing and her daring

1:25

acting debut has led to the discovery that

1:27

Adam is totally in on the plot. Carolyn

1:29

has just confronted Adam, and then he ran

1:32

to the roof where we are going to

1:34

join them right now. So here is the

1:36

finale to The Understudy. Enjoy. Carolyn.

1:45

There's nothing I can do. He's so

1:47

much stronger than I am, and he's

1:49

pulling me toward the edge fast. I

1:52

scream. My thoughts blur to a sharp

1:54

point of fear, and all I can do is keep

1:56

screaming as loud as I can. I

1:58

stop and fall silent. when my

2:00

body tells me something has changed, something

2:03

important. I open

2:05

my eyes, only realising as I

2:07

do so that I'd screwed them tightly shut.

2:10

Adam's hand has let go of me. That's

2:12

what I felt, him releasing me. He's

2:15

standing a short distance away, close

2:17

enough to the edge to jump, easily. I'm

2:21

sorry, he says. I

2:23

have no right to take you with me. Think,

2:26

Carolyn. What should you say? I

2:29

push my hair behind my ears to stop the

2:31

wind blowing it across my face. You

2:34

owe me an explanation, I tell

2:36

him. Perhaps I do. He

2:39

nods. Yes, perhaps

2:42

I do. As I

2:44

say, you're the only person who's ever

2:46

acknowledged that Imogen Curward killed my Grace.

2:49

That she murdered her. Of course

2:51

she did! Seriously, no one

2:53

else has ever said that. Not

2:56

a single solitary person. And

2:59

when I used to say it, before I gave

3:01

up, people argued with me. Explain

3:03

to me why I was wrong. I

3:05

couldn't believe it. I

3:07

can. Adam screws

3:09

up his face in puzzlement. Why?

3:13

You've never. I mean, perhaps you

3:15

have. Have you ever lost

3:17

someone who meant the world to you? No,

3:20

but... Fuck. I'm

3:22

so the wrong kind of person to talk a suicidal

3:24

man down from a roof. I

3:27

don't know how to sound sensitive and caring.

3:29

Only angry and vengeful. You

3:33

don't need personal experience of tragedy to know

3:35

that people are shit, Adam. You

3:37

just need eyes, a brain, and access to

3:39

the internet. I

3:41

expect you're right. For a

3:43

long time, I preferred to believe that people

3:45

were basically good. Grace

3:48

was good. Adam

3:50

makes a strange noise, almost animal-like, and

3:53

crouches down, tries to cover his head

3:55

with his arms. I

3:57

move toward him, but he's on his feet

3:59

again, looking disoriented. as if he doesn't quite

4:01

know what just happened, what his body

4:03

just did. Some

4:05

people are good, I say. Lots

4:08

aren't, though. Imogen Kerwood isn't.

4:11

Ruby Donovan isn't either, though last year,

4:13

whenever I said that to you, you

4:15

told me I should try to be

4:17

more understanding of poor Ruby, who was

4:19

probably missing her friends and family in

4:21

America and feeling insecure. I

4:24

had to say that, didn't I? You were putting

4:26

pressure on me to expel her. That

4:28

was the last thing I wanted to do. I

4:30

needed to keep her here, where I could

4:33

teach her a lesson. Adam

4:35

sighs heavily, teaching

4:37

her a lesson she'd never forget. That

4:40

was the plan. That was

4:42

always my intention, for her

4:44

sake. Otherwise, what Lisa and

4:46

I were doing would have been completely

4:48

immoral. Did you want

4:51

to teach her a lesson? Or did you want

4:53

to kill her? Or drive her to suicide the

4:55

way Imogen Kerwood drove your daughter to suicide? I

4:58

always thought a suicide attempt on Ruby's

5:00

part would be the most pleasing outcome.

5:03

Still, made a total hash of

5:05

it, didn't she? I often

5:08

come up here, you know. Have ever since

5:10

I came to the Academy. Not

5:12

to the edge, normally. I'd

5:14

sit there, where you're standing. Where no

5:16

one could see me and think things

5:18

through. Think about

5:21

Grace. Sometimes you walked

5:23

right up to the edge, though, didn't you? I

5:25

say. Yes. How

5:28

clever of you. He turns

5:31

to smile at me with his new face, the

5:33

one I've never seen on him until today. I

5:36

did. To reassure myself that

5:39

if the pain ever became too great. And

5:42

one day, there she was. Ruby.

5:46

Sitting there, all innocent. I

5:49

must admit, I forgot my plan

5:51

to teach her a lesson. In

5:53

that moment, I wanted to

5:55

crush her out of existence. If

5:58

Lisa and Bronnie hadn't. between them, got

6:00

Ruby out of the way just in

6:02

time. To be

6:04

fair to Lisa, I'd never sold the

6:06

deal to her as any sort of murder plot, just

6:09

a few nasty tricks, I told her.

6:12

Naughty old me. I saw

6:14

Ruby down there in the courtyard and I

6:16

couldn't resist. Improvising a

6:19

little. Ah well, all

6:21

things considered, it's good that

6:24

Lisa and Bronnie scuppered my effort. Now

6:26

we have a best of both worlds

6:28

scenario, I suppose. Ruby

6:31

has learned her lesson, I

6:33

think. Don't you? I

6:36

don't know. I say truthfully.

6:39

Oh, I'm sure she has. Having been

6:41

on the receiving end of Lisa's and my

6:43

little campaign, I doubt she'll be

6:45

doing any more bullying anytime soon. And

6:48

I prove to myself that I'm willing to

6:50

put my money where my mouth is when

6:52

it comes to delivering justice. I

6:54

tried to kill Ruby. I did

6:57

it for Grace, and for the

6:59

girl in America that Ruby killed. V,

7:02

her name was. One

7:04

life, a guilty worthless one, for

7:06

two innocent lives. That

7:09

strikes me as an honourable equation. You're

7:12

aware of Ruby's past, before she came

7:14

to England. Did Kendall tell

7:16

you the truth then? No,

7:19

she fed me a pack of lies. But

7:22

I was cunning, you see. I'm

7:24

a cunning chap when I need

7:26

to be. His eyes have taken

7:28

on a glassy, detached look. I

7:31

agree, I tell him. Cunning

7:33

enough to invent students who don't exist to

7:35

get more money. Ah,

7:38

so you know about that too. How

7:41

well informed you are. The

7:44

arts are terribly underfunded, as

7:46

are most worthwhile things these days,

7:48

sadly. How

7:50

did you find out that Kendall faked all

7:53

of Ruby's brilliant references? I

7:55

ask him. Hmm? Oh,

7:57

that. I suppose it was thank

7:59

you. to you that I stumbled on the truth.

8:02

Me? Yes. Last

8:05

year, when you told me what Ruby was doing

8:07

to Jess, it reminded me

8:09

of Imogen Curlwood, the way she tormented

8:11

Grace. There were

8:13

striking parallels. I thought, a

8:17

girl who has it in her to behave

8:19

this way and yet she gets such over-the-top

8:21

glowing references. I smelled

8:23

a rat. So I

8:25

rang the school in question, the last

8:27

one Ruby attended in LA and soon

8:29

found out the truth. I

8:32

saw an opportunity. Another

8:34

teenage girl who'd got away with taking the

8:36

life of one of her classmates. I

8:39

honestly felt as if fate had given Ruby to me

8:42

as a sort of... gift.

8:45

Why bring Lisa Dazely into it,

8:48

I ask? I mean, presumably

8:50

you had to pay her. Handsomely

8:53

and happily. She

8:55

was worth every penny. He

8:58

takes a step back from the edge and looks down

9:00

at his feet. Deliberately, he

9:02

kicks the ground, the roof, with

9:04

his right foot. But

9:07

why did you need her? As the

9:09

head of OFA, if you'd wanted to make

9:11

Ruby suffer? Again, fate helped

9:13

me out. Several things

9:16

converged unexpectedly. Don't you

9:18

find that often happens? You're wondering what to

9:20

do and then the perfect solution lands in

9:23

your lap and it feels

9:25

like magic. What do

9:27

you mean? Two years after

9:29

Grace was bully murdered, as I call

9:31

it, I went to

9:33

the Edinburgh Fringe and spotted a young

9:36

woman whose face I recognised in a

9:38

dreadful low-budget show. Lisa?

9:41

Adam nods. He walks back to

9:43

the edge of the roof and peers over it, as

9:45

if to check that the courtyard is still there. I

9:48

introduced myself to her. She

9:51

offered her sympathies and said nice things

9:53

about Grace. When I

9:55

told her I was her teacher here, she

9:57

nearly jumped on me. She

9:59

was dead. Desperate for me to use my influence

10:01

to get her some opportunity or rather in

10:03

London. Said she was flat-broke

10:05

and looked it, I have to say. Very

10:09

shabby package she was. I

10:11

tried to extricate myself tactfully from her

10:13

clutches, but I couldn't deter her from

10:15

giving me her contact details. I

10:18

kept them, though I don't think

10:20

I had any intention of seeking her out.

10:23

Fate, you see. And

10:26

years later, Dish Best served

10:28

cold and all that. Once

10:31

I'd started to make my ruby plan. Well,

10:34

it's not exactly a starring role

10:36

in Guys and Dolls at a

10:38

Delphin Macintosh theatre, but I

10:41

offered Lisa a fascinating and unique assignment

10:43

and I paid her well for it.

10:46

She was delighted by the whole

10:48

package, the money, obviously, and

10:50

the chance to do something for Grace's memory,

10:53

and to help me. I

10:55

think she was rather fonder of Grace than

10:57

I'd realized. Quite

10:59

attached to her, she seemed to be. I

11:03

still don't understand why you needed her, I say.

11:07

Symmetry. I wanted to

11:09

give Ruby a taste of her own medicine so

11:11

she'd know how it feels when another girl, a

11:14

girl you haven't harmed at all, suddenly

11:16

launches a hate campaign against you.

11:19

I wanted Ruby to feel the ache

11:21

of loneliness that comes from knowing someone

11:24

has chosen you and only you to

11:26

victimize. Someone who

11:28

is a stranger to justice, who accuses you of

11:30

things you haven't done, who does things to you

11:32

and then denies them when you know it must

11:34

be her. Adam

11:36

laughs. And then, when

11:39

we escalated to the noose and the notes,

11:41

well, I wanted her to think

11:43

she might die, or even better,

11:46

to decide that was her only way

11:48

out. What was your

11:50

planned endgame? Ruby and the

11:52

others hadn't found out the truth about Lisa, and if

11:54

she hadn't fled as a result, what

11:56

would have happened? Oh, once

11:59

she'd rejected it. reduced Ruby to a cowering wreck

12:01

who would never be the same again. Once

12:04

Ruby had slit her wrists or

12:06

whatever method she chose, Imogen, he

12:09

makes air quotes with his fingers, would

12:11

have moved to a different school. I

12:15

don't suppose it matters, but there's one more

12:17

question I have to ask. Is

12:20

Lisa a really terrible actress, or

12:22

did you tell her to act like a creepy psycho

12:25

throughout? I mean, she wasn't

12:27

subtle. Pretty much from the

12:29

word go, she behaved like the worst cliché

12:31

of a sociopath. She

12:33

did, Adam nods, on

12:36

my instructions. I told her

12:38

to ham it up, to really go for it. I

12:41

said, Ruby and Kendall Donovan will never be

12:43

able to prove it's you because you'll have

12:45

alibis, and so the more obvious you are,

12:47

the more it will torment them that you're

12:49

getting away with it. Why

12:52

target Jess with the music box? I

12:55

ask. Ruby was the

12:57

target. I knew everyone

12:59

would be sure it was her, and I

13:01

didn't want to be too obvious. But

13:04

Carolyn, I would never harm

13:07

Jess. He

13:09

sounds offended. For a moment

13:11

he looks like the old Adam again. Then

13:14

his new face reappears. I

13:17

like Jess, really. I'm

13:19

sorry I couldn't be more obviously on your

13:21

side last year. I

13:23

hope you can understand the extent to which

13:26

I truly was, in my heart of hearts.

13:29

I thought to myself so often how

13:31

Carolyn disapproves of me, and

13:34

how she would approve if she only knew the truth.

13:37

I was protecting Jess, you see. I

13:40

wanted her to feel safe here. So

13:43

you were already making your plan

13:46

last year? Oh

13:48

yes. Plans as complex as

13:50

this take a good few months to put

13:52

together. Raki frowns,

13:56

and still they can go wrong. Your

13:59

plan hasn't gone wrong. gone wrong, I tell him.

14:02

Like you say, you protected Jess and

14:04

Ruby's learned her lesson. You

14:06

don't have to." I point

14:08

to the edge. He's so close to

14:10

it now and keeps looking at it. I

14:13

feel sick. What if I can't do

14:15

anything to stop him? I have

14:17

to. I want to. For the simple

14:19

reason that he was always on Jess's

14:21

side. He tried to save her

14:23

from Ruby, went out of his way to

14:25

do so, spent money on it. He

14:28

lurches forward suddenly toward the edge. Adam,

14:32

you don't have to go to prison, I

14:34

say quickly. He stops, stares

14:37

at me as if I'm mad. What

14:39

are you saying? Perhaps we

14:41

can reach an agreement, make

14:44

a deal. One where I keep

14:46

your secret and you get to keep your job.

14:49

His eyes start back and forth, to me,

14:51

to the edge. Am I

14:54

really going to do this? Looks

14:56

as if I am. It's not a joke,

14:58

I tell him. I can

15:00

convince the others that Lisa Dasely acted

15:02

alone. You can keep your

15:05

job, your life, everything. Everything

15:07

you haven't already lost. At

15:10

least come inside and let's talk about

15:12

it. Slowly, I

15:14

walk toward him, holding out my

15:16

hand. As

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16:47

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follows a group of underdogs, okay,

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more like underlings, who suddenly find

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themselves the masters of their own

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destiny. The adventure begins September 9th.

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Join Geek and Sundry and Realm

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for Sagas of Sundry Goblin Mode.

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Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or

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wherever you get your podcasts. Elise.

17:26

On stage, one of Adam's

17:28

more athletic students backflips down

17:30

a marble staircase made from

17:32

blocked foam and cleverly painted

17:35

card. She comes to

17:37

a halt at the bottom of the

17:39

stairs in a smooth, center split before

17:41

throwing her torso forward until she's lying

17:43

flat on the stage, face

17:45

down and with her arms outstretched.

17:48

Unmoving. I

17:51

shake my head slowly in a

17:53

mix of incredulity and respect. Carolyn

17:58

is balls. Only

22:01

to return with an air of

22:03

casual indifference. It's

22:05

all sorted. No big deal, no

22:07

mystery. Nothing to see

22:09

here. Adam.

22:12

Racky. Whatever

22:14

Carolyn found out was important enough to

22:16

Adam for him to strike a deal

22:18

with her, to allow her a platform

22:21

as a debut musical theatre writer. He

22:24

bought her silence. Adam's

22:27

changed too. He's lost weight,

22:29

hair, aged a decade

22:31

in one academic year. Whereas

22:34

once he strutted around school like

22:36

he was Laurence Olivier himself, now

22:39

he scuttles along the corridor and

22:41

skulks in his office. The

22:43

pretentious quotes from plays are a thing of

22:45

the past. Despite his

22:47

fine performance that day, I'm convinced

22:49

that Adam Racky knew full well

22:52

who Lisa Dazely was. Maybe

22:54

he knew full well what she was doing

22:56

in his school, what she was planning. After

23:00

all, there's no record of Lisa

23:02

or Imogen in the student files,

23:04

and Bronnie swears blind she knows nothing

23:06

about her arrival. Could

23:09

Adam have been helping Lisa? What

23:12

else would make Adam nervous enough to

23:14

hand over his famous end-of-year production to

23:16

an unknown writer? After

23:19

all, the reputation of the school

23:21

depends on the quality of its

23:23

students, its performances. I

23:26

don't care. Lisa's gone. Adam

23:29

Racky's handing over the Academy reigns. He'll

23:31

be someone else's problem now. Sadie

23:34

and the other girls are leaving OFA and

23:36

going their separate ways. Jess

23:39

has a job already, much to

23:41

Carolyn's undisguised triumph. Only

23:43

chorus but it's Les Mis and it's West

23:46

End and, well, maybe

23:48

she has what it takes to make it in show

23:50

business. We'll see. She's

23:53

auditioning for 42nd Street on the West End,

23:56

so according to Sadie, she's been tap dancing

23:58

like her feet are on the floor. fire

24:00

for the last week. She

24:02

doesn't stand a chance, but I have to admit

24:04

the girls got guts. Belle

24:07

spins across the stage, leaping into the

24:09

arms of a boy who doesn't look

24:11

old enough to leave school, before joining

24:13

him in a reprise of their duet.

24:17

I wonder if she's told her

24:19

parents about her own audition plans. For

24:22

Ronnie will never allow that, I

24:25

said when Sadie told me. Belle's

24:27

determined, full board, a hundred quid a week,

24:30

and you get to see the world. I

24:33

can see the appeal, and a seasonal

24:35

contract on a cruise ship is certainly

24:38

more securing than touting audition pieces around

24:40

the West End. But

24:42

I don't fancy Belle's chances wriggling

24:44

out of those apron strings of

24:46

brawnies. As for

24:48

Sadie, my heart swells

24:50

with a smugness that must surely

24:52

rival Carolins. I

24:55

was dreading the end of the year, building

24:57

myself up to that conversation, where I sat

24:59

Sadie down to tell her a few home

25:01

truths about the future. 99% of actors

25:04

are unemployed at

25:06

any one time, only a tiny number

25:08

of those earn enough to support a

25:10

family. In the end, I

25:13

didn't need to say anything. "'I'm

25:15

going to start a business,' Sadie

25:18

announced. She handed Nick and

25:20

me a sheaf of typewritten papers. We

25:22

were sitting around the table having dinner, another

25:25

of the small changes we've made over the

25:28

last few months, and I

25:30

spread out the papers so I could see them

25:32

better. It was a business

25:34

plan, a brilliant one,

25:37

SWOT analysis, financial projections, a

25:39

list of potential clients and

25:42

investors, a clear argument

25:44

for need and solid research into

25:46

the competition. Media

25:49

Play Limited will provide role-play actors

25:51

for healthcare training, giving trainee doctors

25:53

the chance to break bad news

25:55

to a real relative or to

25:57

explain a diagnosis to a difficult

25:59

time." patient. I've invested,

26:01

of course. It's too good an opportunity

26:04

to pass up. Nick, Sadie

26:06

and I have spent hours working through

26:08

the fine print. I'll

26:11

be there by your side. I've got

26:13

your back, and I've got yours. I've

26:16

got your back." Belle

26:19

and her partner finish their duet, and we

26:21

all applaud. I sneak

26:23

a glance down the road to where Kendall

26:25

is clapping feverishly next to Bronnie. Ruby

26:28

still comes over from time to time,

26:30

but she's quieter now, and Sadie says

26:32

she wakes crying in the night sometimes,

26:34

haunted by the feeling of a noose

26:37

around her neck. Kendall

26:39

has her in therapy, of course, for

26:41

what that's worth. 85 pounds

26:43

an hour, Greg says. Greg.

26:46

I soften.

26:48

A sweet man. It almost

26:52

went wrong, in the way it

26:54

often goes wrong when men confuse

26:56

great sex with something more complicated.

26:59

"'You've got history with Kendall,'

27:02

I pointed out when he said he and I would

27:04

be good together. Were good

27:06

together. You've got a

27:09

daughter. But this...

27:12

We were lying in bed, and he ran

27:14

a finger down between my breasts, leaving

27:16

the rest unspoken. I was

27:19

firm. This is

27:21

good because it's new. If

27:24

you have this every day, you'll

27:26

get bored." "'So

27:28

will I,' I added silently. No

27:31

need to dent the man's ego." "'My

27:35

relationship with Kendall is broken.' "'Men

27:38

did. I don't know

27:40

how.' "'So,' I told him. "'Infidelity

27:43

gets such negative press, but

27:45

let's face it. You're

27:48

happier with your run-of-the-mill home cooking when you know

27:50

you can eat out a couple times a month,

27:52

right?' "'Greg tells me

27:54

he and Kendall are much happier now,

27:56

and I get to add some excitement

27:58

to my San Fran business.' trips. Everyone's

28:01

a winner. Kendall should thank me,

28:03

really. Okay, so

28:05

I'm breaking the rule about no return

28:07

matches, but rules were made

28:10

to be broken, right? I

28:13

scrutinize her profile. The

28:15

soft hair, the innocent eyes,

28:17

the fragile bone structure. You

28:20

don't fool me, Kendall Donovan. For

28:24

all her self-help, Claptrap, her

28:26

cancer journey, her existential angst,

28:29

Kendall is not a nice

28:32

person. Greg

28:34

finally told me everything. He

28:37

told me about Ruby and the bullying at

28:40

school and the night V died, about

28:42

the call from Kendall, hysterical

28:44

and incoherent, and the race

28:47

to save a life already snatched away. He

28:50

told me how traumatized Ruby was

28:52

and how desperately Kendall wanted to

28:54

make things better and how everyone

28:57

leapt to conclusions that made it

28:59

Ruby's fault. And

29:01

then he told me about the

29:03

security system. Kendall

29:06

worried a lot when she got

29:08

sick. She got nervy, paranoid. She

29:11

bought drapes in case someone might look

29:13

in, even though the garden wall is

29:15

10 feet high. She

29:17

worried we'd be burglarized or that someone

29:19

would snatch Ruby on her way home

29:21

from school. So

29:23

you got an alarm? I remembered

29:26

the flashing light I'd seen on the

29:28

outside of Greg's and Kendall's gated home.

29:31

And cameras. I

29:34

raised one eyebrow. Kendall

29:37

got me jittery too. What if we

29:39

were burglarized? What good's an alarm if

29:41

the cops don't get there in time?

29:44

Greg's alarm company installed cameras above each entrance

29:47

to the house and one in the hall,

29:49

facing up the stairs. If

29:51

anyone climbed through an upstairs window, Greg

29:55

said the hall camera would get their

29:57

face as they ran out. Despite

30:00

the warmth of the restaurant we were in,

30:03

an icy chill began to creep down

30:06

my spine. I wanted

30:08

to stop him talking, I didn't want

30:10

to hear the rest, and yet, at the

30:12

same time, I couldn't not know

30:14

how it ended. "'You

30:16

didn't tell Candle about the cameras, did

30:19

you?' My voice was

30:21

barely a whisper. Greg

30:24

shook his head. I

30:26

figured, if she thought I was taking

30:28

her concerns too seriously, she'd get even

30:30

more paranoid. To be

30:32

honest, I didn't think about it myself much.

30:36

Until the night V died. The

30:39

camera in the hole, facing up

30:41

the stairs, didn't capture intruders, their

30:43

pockets stuffed full of the family

30:45

silver. It captured

30:47

Ruby and V and Candle. It

30:51

captured what really happened. I

30:54

picture Greg, sitting in a darkened

30:56

study, the light from his monitor

30:58

flickering across his face, as

31:01

the ugly truth unfolded frame

31:03

by frame. I

31:05

think about sleeping with Greg. I

31:07

think about ditching the pills and cutting down

31:09

on the booze, and helping my daughter go

31:12

into business. I think

31:14

about how much has changed in a year. No,

31:17

I don't feel guilty at

31:20

all. I look

31:22

at Candle. But

31:24

you should." Bronnie

31:36

Sometimes I thought this moment would

31:38

never come. I thought we might

31:41

never get to the end of year musical that

31:43

marks the beginning of the summer holidays. Considering

31:46

how much I love my job, it's

31:48

amazing how happy I am to be having

31:50

a break from the Academy and everyone in

31:53

it. It's been quite

31:55

a year, even though Imogen, I

31:57

still can't call her Lisa, was no

31:59

longer around at the beginning of the

32:01

January term. The repercussions of

32:03

her actions are still being felt. Something

32:07

fundamental has changed within the

32:09

school. The dynamics are no

32:11

longer the same, and I'm

32:13

not sure whether that's a good or bad

32:16

thing. The one

32:18

thing I'm glad about is that my illegal

32:20

work for Adam was brought to an abrupt

32:22

end. At least I can

32:24

sleep easy at night now. I

32:26

feel very lucky to have got away

32:29

with it, but that was largely due

32:31

to the support from the other mums

32:33

who told Adam he was wrong to

32:35

have coerced me into creating ghost students,

32:37

using the threat, even if only implied,

32:40

of losing my job if I didn't

32:42

comply. They made him put a stop to

32:44

it at once, and although there might be payback

32:46

at some point, pretending that twenty

32:48

students had suddenly decided not to come

32:51

back for the January term was a

32:53

bit risky. The authorities concerned

32:55

don't seem to have picked up on

32:57

it so far, and of

33:00

course my salary is back to

33:02

what it was before, which means

33:04

no more silk dresses for me.

33:06

Not that I mind. Every

33:08

time I see mine hanging in the wardrobe,

33:10

it's a reminder of what I did, and

33:13

a reminder never to do anything illegal again.

33:17

I'm glad that Carl doesn't know, and

33:19

only hope that he never finds out.

33:22

I hate having secrets from him, but

33:24

when it comes down to it, I

33:27

realise that we all have secrets.

33:30

I might have created accounts for ghost

33:32

students, but I didn't know that Imogen

33:35

wasn't registered at the Academy. It's

33:37

why there were no background checks, which would

33:39

have picked up that she was using a

33:41

false identity. Adam said it

33:44

was an oversight, and I still don't know

33:46

whether to believe it. Maybe

33:48

that's his secret. There's

33:50

definitely something he's not telling us

33:52

about Imogen's presence at the Academy,

33:55

but when it comes down to it, I don't

33:57

really care. All I care that

34:00

she's gone and has taken her creepy

34:02

ways with her. To

34:04

be honest, I almost felt sorry for her

34:07

when she said, at the fake audition we

34:09

put her through, that coming to

34:11

the Academy was her last chance to make

34:13

it as an actress. It

34:15

must be terrible to feel obsolete at 21, but the

34:18

fact that

34:20

she went all out to eliminate the person

34:22

she saw as her biggest rival quickly squashed

34:24

any feelings of sympathy I might have had

34:26

toward her. I'll never

34:28

forget the look on Carolyn's face when

34:30

it registered that Imogen saw Ruby as

34:33

her rival, not Jess. It

34:35

was just another of the many things that

34:38

didn't add up in Imogen's story. Why

34:40

did she think that Ruby was her biggest

34:42

rival when anyone could have told her that

34:45

the student most likely to succeed was Jess?

34:48

And how did she know that Jess

34:50

had been bullied by Ruby the year

34:52

before, allowing her to use that knowledge

34:54

to her advantage? It

34:57

quickly became obvious that someone with inside

34:59

knowledge of the Academy must have been

35:01

in league with Imogen, but

35:03

after we'd all finished accusing each other of

35:05

being that person, I can't believe

35:07

that Carolyn actually thought it was me. We

35:10

all seemed happy to accept that she acted

35:12

alone, probably because we were fed

35:14

up with the whole thing by then. There

35:17

were other things that got swept under

35:19

the carpet in the wake of Imogen's

35:21

disappearance, including the road

35:23

rage incident involving Carolyn and

35:25

Elise. Carolyn, ever

35:27

since seeing the CCTV image of the

35:30

blonde-haired driver in the other car, had

35:32

been convinced Imogen was behind it, and

35:34

so as far as she was concerned,

35:37

once Imogen was no longer around,

35:39

it was no longer important. And

35:41

Elise hadn't seemed to care one way or

35:44

another. You must be

35:46

pleased to be here and not backstage for

35:48

once. Kendall whispers as

35:50

one of the songs comes to an

35:52

end and we break into applause. Yes

35:55

I am, I whisper back,

35:58

and the parents seem to be in trouble. enjoying

36:00

it, which is a relief. I

36:03

couldn't believe it when Carolyn told us that

36:05

not only had she written a musical, but

36:07

also that Adam wanted to stage it for

36:09

the end of year performance, rather

36:12

than a tried and tested musical. It's

36:14

always a risk when we perform a new

36:16

piece of work, as one of the things

36:18

the audience loves is joining in with the

36:20

songs they know. But

36:22

Adam was insistent that Carolyn should have

36:25

the chance to showcase her talent and,

36:28

I have to admit, it's very

36:30

good. She's standing just

36:32

off stage, and I can see

36:34

her clapping her hands vigorously, her

36:36

applause directed solely at Jess, rather

36:38

than at all the students on

36:41

the stage. I

36:43

don't know what her secret is, but

36:45

for the last few months she's been walking

36:47

around like the cat with the cream. She

36:50

and Adam have become very pally, in

36:53

and out of his office almost as much as

36:55

I was last year. That's

36:57

what I mean about the dynamics changing

36:59

at the Academy. Maybe

37:01

her secret is that she's trying to muscle

37:04

her way onto the staff as

37:06

musical director or something. I

37:09

wouldn't put it past her, and everyone

37:11

knows she's sick of her law work. Now

37:14

for Ruby's scene, I say

37:17

to Kendall as we finish applauding and

37:19

settle back into our seats. I

37:21

give her hand a squeeze. She's going

37:23

to be brilliant. It's such

37:25

a shame that Greg couldn't make it. Kendall's

37:28

face clouds over and I could

37:31

kick myself for being so insensitive.

37:34

She and Ruby had thought Greg was

37:36

coming, he'd promised he would, but then

37:38

he changed his mind, pleading too much

37:40

work. Ruby

37:42

walks onto the stage and Kendall leans

37:45

forward in anticipation. I turn

37:47

my head to where Elise is sitting farther along

37:49

the row, and I know from the look on

37:51

her face that she's a million miles away, or

37:54

maybe just five thousand. I

37:58

think I know her secret. She's

38:00

been over to the States quite a few times

38:02

in the past six months, and

38:05

I have a horrible feeling that she and Greg

38:07

are in a relationship. I

38:09

only suspect this because, not long

38:11

ago, I was standing next

38:13

to her while she was sending an email

38:16

and I caught the name Greg Donovan in

38:18

the header. Why would

38:20

she be emailing him if there wasn't something going

38:22

on? Part of me

38:24

wants to say something to Kendall because if it were

38:26

me I'd want to know, but Kendall

38:29

has enough on her plate at the moment. She

38:32

looks worried to death half the time,

38:34

as if she's carrying some other dreadful

38:36

secret around inside her, which she's scared

38:39

will come out one day. She

38:42

watches Ruby constantly, as if she's

38:44

afraid for her... or

38:47

of her. That's

38:49

only to be expected given Ruby's

38:52

suicide attempt. Carolyn and

38:54

Elise think it was just a cry for

38:56

help, although I'm not so

38:58

sure. Imogen's

39:00

bullying tipped Ruby over the edge, but

39:03

imagine having to live with the knowledge that

39:05

you killed someone, even if

39:07

it was in self-defense. No

39:10

wonder Kendall didn't want to tell us the truth.

39:13

It's awful to say, but all those

39:15

things that Imogen did to Ruby have taught her

39:17

a lesson. She's a completely

39:19

different person now, and it's lovely to

39:21

see the four girls getting along so

39:24

well. If only the

39:26

same could be said for us mothers. She

39:29

was wonderful, I say as

39:31

Ruby's song comes to an end. Kendall

39:34

gives me a grateful smile. She

39:36

and I are fine. She never

39:38

stops going on about how I saved Ruby's life,

39:41

which is very sweet of her as I only

39:43

did what anyone else would have done. I

39:46

still don't know how I managed to close the

39:48

distance between us in time to push Ruby out

39:50

of the way of the falling slate, but

39:52

I guess fear brings strengths out in you

39:54

that you don't know you have. That's

39:57

another thing that doesn't add up though. At

40:00

first, Imogen was adamant that

40:02

she saw someone on the roof just

40:04

before the slate fell, implying that someone

40:06

pushed it off on purpose. But

40:09

then she changed her story, saying she

40:11

must have been mistaken, and

40:13

once again, everyone just seemed

40:15

to go along with it. Carolyn

40:18

and Elise might have agreed about

40:21

Ruby's suicide attempt, but they're no

40:23

longer close. The last

40:25

time the four of us were together,

40:27

it was really uncomfortable. I'd invited

40:30

them over for tea and scones, as a

40:32

thank you for saving my skin in relation

40:34

to the ghost students. And

40:36

Elise couldn't stop watching Carolyn, as if

40:39

she was trying to work out something

40:41

about her. And she

40:43

kept throwing Kendall these looks of

40:45

absolute disgust, which I didn't understand

40:47

at all, because what happened to

40:49

V wasn't Kendall's fault. But

40:52

maybe Elise's disgust came from the fact that

40:54

Kendall had lied to us again by not

40:56

telling us the whole truth. She's

40:59

nicer to me now than she ever was.

41:02

She's never spoken to me since about

41:04

her drug and drink addiction, but that's

41:06

fine. I didn't expect her to

41:08

give me a running commentary on how she's doing.

41:10

I just hope she's getting

41:12

the help she needs. I

41:14

asked Belle if she knew anything, and

41:17

she said Sadie had told her that

41:19

Elise is working through it, whatever that

41:21

means. It's awful, though.

41:23

She's got a bottle of water with

41:25

her and every time she drinks from

41:27

it, I'm wondering what's actually in it.

41:30

As if she can hear what I'm

41:32

thinking, she leans forward and raises the

41:34

bottle in a cheers gesture before taking

41:37

a long drink. And then

41:39

she winks and gives me a big smile, and

41:41

I can't help smiling back. But

41:44

I just don't know. Emi-jen

41:47

was the only one who reacted positively

41:49

when I told her about Imogen's boyfriend.

41:52

She actually used the word awesome and

41:54

looked at me admiringly when I told

41:56

her that I'd followed Imogen and confronted

41:58

her boyfriend. Not only

42:00

that, she agreed with me that he was

42:02

probably using Imogen as a way of getting

42:04

drugs into the Academy. We'll never

42:07

know if that was the case, because

42:09

before we could do anything, Imogen had

42:11

done another of her disappearing tricks. Only

42:14

this time, she didn't come back. It

42:17

was Caroline who came with me to the police.

42:20

We heard from them later that Imogen's

42:22

boyfriend was indeed a drug dealer. He's

42:25

now behind bars. So that's

42:27

something I can be proud of, getting

42:29

a drug dealer convicted. It goes

42:32

a little way to making up for the other thing

42:34

I did. It's also taught

42:36

me that I don't need recognition from

42:39

anyone to be proud of myself, and

42:41

certainly not from Caroline, Elise or Kendall.

42:44

I'm no longer in awe of them. Why

42:46

would I be? When it comes

42:48

down to it, Caroline is a

42:51

schemer and manipulator, Elise has no

42:53

morals, and Kendall is a

42:55

liar. Harsh, maybe,

42:58

but I'm certainly not referencing them

43:00

anymore, and my life is so

43:02

much better for it. Bell's

43:05

turn now, I say to

43:07

Carl as the stage clears for the next scene.

43:10

She's going to be brilliant, Kendall

43:13

whispers as Carl takes my hand in

43:15

his. I hope so. I lean

43:18

into order. By the way,

43:20

thank you for all those things you

43:22

donated to the wardrobe department. They're great.

43:25

It's just things I don't need anymore, she

43:28

says. Look, here's Bell. I

43:31

settle back to watch. Kendall's

43:33

right. I can't see her

43:36

needing the long blonde wig anymore. Not

43:38

now that her hair has grown back.

43:42

As I said, we

43:44

all have secrets. If

43:54

I play you something, will promise

43:57

not to tell anyone about it. is

44:00

it? There's

44:02

a thing in the sky. You've got to

44:04

get someone down here quick. It's fucked. It's

44:07

moving. It's buzzing you. It's getting closer, I think. I need

44:09

to talk to someone. See what you're through now. No, don't

44:11

put me. It's getting louder. I can

44:13

feel it. I can feel it

44:15

inside my head. Listen

44:18

to Hovering, the latest fiction horror

44:20

show on Realm's premiere horror channel,

44:22

Undertow. Hovering is available now

44:24

wherever you get your podcasts. With

44:30

something like 5 million podcasts, finding a

44:32

really good one can take a ton of time.

44:35

So let me recommend one. It's called Something

44:38

You Should Know. I'm the

44:40

host, Mike Carruthers, and in each

44:42

episode we discuss topics that can be

44:44

really helpful, like how to read people

44:47

better, the psychology of crowds, or

44:49

fun things like the story of Legos, or

44:51

why you probably wouldn't be here if it

44:53

weren't for horses. Something You Should

44:56

Know is the name of it wherever you

44:58

get your podcasts. Thanks

45:25

for watching. Kendall.

46:04

It'll be over soon. That's

46:06

what I tell myself about so many things,

46:09

large and small. It's

46:12

not always easy to tell the difference, though

46:15

I've been fighting to regain perspective. I'd

46:18

kill for the effortless calm from when

46:20

I learned the cancer was in remission.

46:23

When I felt, down to my

46:26

marrow, that life was too

46:28

precious to be wasted. When

46:30

I knew just what was important. I

46:34

wish that Ruby's suicide attempt could have

46:36

had the same impact. Instead,

46:40

I'm routinely plagued by irritation

46:43

and resentment. Not

46:45

toward Ruby, thankfully. We're

46:48

closer than we've ever been, with

46:50

the full awareness that no one will ever

46:52

look out for us the way we look

46:55

out for each other. We'll

46:57

see what happens with 42nd Street, and

47:00

if that's not her big break, then

47:02

we'll head to New York City, and

47:05

she'll get what she deserves on Broadway.

47:08

I hope the other girls and their

47:10

mums get what they deserve, too. Will

47:15

this show ever end? Ruby's

47:19

already had her big number, so

47:21

I'm about ready to check out. Her

47:24

part is insultingly brief, especially

47:27

given how essential she was to

47:29

the real plot. The

47:31

one that Carolyn has cribbed to make

47:33

this travesty? Ruby

47:36

wasn't even cast to play the 1940s

47:38

version of herself, but

47:41

at least the Ruby character isn't

47:43

the true villain. Her

47:45

image is... All's

47:48

well that ends well, as Adam

47:50

Racky, I mean, William

47:52

Shakespeare, would have said. I

47:55

just need to count my blessings and

47:58

endure. Afterward,

48:00

I'll congratulate Carolyn on a job

48:03

well done, and that'll be that.

48:07

But it's all pretty tough to swallow.

48:10

Was Carolyn's big secret really that

48:12

she wants to write musicals? A

48:15

Serbic Carolyn goes gaga for

48:17

catchy chorus? I don't

48:19

buy it. I

48:22

remember Carolyn saying Imogen

48:24

slash Lisa had an

48:27

accomplice. I

48:29

think that accomplice was hiding in plain sight,

48:32

and it was Carolyn. Maybe

48:35

she didn't want to hurt anyone, not

48:38

physically anyway. Things

48:40

just got out of control. Perhaps

48:43

Imogen went rogue. The

48:45

intention was to threaten the

48:47

school's reputation and make Mr.

48:49

Racky look inept. Then

48:52

she could let him know the way to get her

48:55

and Imogen to stop was

48:57

to stage her musical. Face

48:59

it, the show is so

49:02

awful that its production reeks of

49:04

extortion. If

49:06

she starts anything with Ruby or me,

49:09

then I'll see what proof I can dig up.

49:12

But these days, I barely

49:14

see her. Probably because

49:17

she's been at every rehearsal, fretting

49:19

about every detail. That

49:22

leaves Elise and Bronnie as the

49:24

focal points for my current ire.

49:28

I never forget a betrayal. Well,

49:33

it won't be long before the curtain comes

49:35

down and I can put this night behind

49:38

me. Soon, OFA

49:40

and all its players will be

49:43

a distant memory, grist

49:45

for Ruby's theatrical mill. Hopefully,

49:49

she can channel all these experiences

49:51

into a part someday. She's

49:54

so versatile, able to

49:56

play both the predator and the

49:58

prey. All she

50:00

has to do is keep

50:03

her eye on the prize and

50:05

continue to resist her impulses. She's

50:09

in therapy twice a week, and

50:11

her self-esteem is improving by leaps

50:13

and bounds. She knows

50:16

her worth, so I no

50:18

longer worry about her hurting herself. Now,

50:22

other people? It's

50:24

not that she's made any threats. On

50:27

the contrary, she's been a

50:30

model student and friend. But

50:33

I can't help fearing that one's

50:35

sudden act can derail her.

50:39

I get that all too well. We're

50:42

very similar, Ruby and I, in

50:45

that we have good hearts. Yet,

50:47

when provoked, our

50:49

worst instincts take over. I

50:52

don't condone her behavior, and

50:54

I don't condone mine either. I

50:57

know I should never have rented that

50:59

car with the tinted windows to give

51:01

Carolyn and Elise a scare, though

51:04

it felt good at the time. And

51:07

it was fun to find

51:09

a use for one of my old cancer

51:11

wigs. Afterward,

51:14

I felt remorseful, just like

51:17

Ruby always does. I've

51:20

concluded that Elise didn't fuck Greg to

51:23

get at me, that it wasn't even

51:25

a show of hostility. Elise

51:27

just took what she wanted because

51:30

that's what she does. It's

51:32

who she is. I've

51:34

had some nights of true fury

51:36

thinking about it, and

51:38

I've been able to control myself. But

51:41

someday, I might

51:44

not be able to, and

51:46

a small part of me welcomes that.

51:50

I have my fantasies, and

51:53

they extend beyond Elise. Carolyn

51:56

features sometimes with

51:59

her absolut- and

52:01

her condescension. She

52:03

must have known about Greg and Elise,

52:06

and I bet she and

52:08

Elise found it uproarious. And

52:12

Bronnie's in there on occasion, because

52:14

in her way, she

52:16

hurt me most. I'll

52:19

go to tea whenever I'm invited, because

52:22

you keep your enemies close, right?

52:26

Keep monitoring to see what they know.

52:29

Stay privy to the conversations

52:31

and speculations. Seem

52:34

normal and sweet, so

52:36

that they'll never suspect my

52:39

final lie. The

52:42

truth? Ruby

52:44

hated V right away. She

52:47

didn't like V's personality, but she

52:49

wasn't threatened. V wasn't

52:52

talented at all, in Ruby's

52:54

opinion. But the

52:56

teachers disagreed. And

52:58

V was getting cast in leading roles

53:01

that should have gone to Ruby. I

53:04

was right there with Ruby, a

53:06

partner in outrage. It

53:09

was just so unfair that Ruby should

53:11

lose out to a nothing like V. At

53:14

least Jess was deserving. Then

53:18

one day, I was

53:20

shocked to see V at our kitchen

53:22

table, and the two

53:24

girls were talking and laughing. Later,

53:27

I asked Ruby what was going on,

53:30

and she said nothing. She was just

53:32

making a new friend. For

53:35

the next show, V

53:37

bombed her audition, and

53:39

Ruby got the best part. That's

53:43

when I figured it out. Ruby

53:46

wanted to keep V close in

53:49

order to get under her skin, to

53:52

plant seeds of self-doubt, to

53:54

subtly neg her, and

53:56

to spread rumors untraceably.

54:00

It worked. V was

54:02

unsettled and had been

54:04

unseated. I

54:07

had mixed feelings about it. On

54:09

the one hand, it was

54:12

really just fair play since Ruby

54:14

deserved those leads. Additionally,

54:17

the more I got to

54:19

know V, the more I disliked

54:21

her. She was

54:24

genuinely annoying, overly

54:26

dramatic, and self-aggrandizing, and

54:30

she'd been venerated her whole life

54:32

for a talent that I couldn't even

54:34

detect. It's

54:37

not like I did nothing. I

54:39

tried to convince Ruby to abort her plan.

54:42

She'd gotten what she wanted. V

54:45

was no longer a threat, no

54:47

longer a rival. She'd

54:49

been neutralized. Yet

54:52

Ruby continued, playing

54:55

the role of V's best friend

54:57

and confidant almost like

54:59

she was enjoying her front row

55:01

seat to V's destruction. But

55:04

that was just Ruby acting out from

55:06

all the pain of watching me go

55:08

through chemo. She

55:10

didn't know how to handle her fear

55:12

of losing me. The

55:16

day V died, I

55:19

came home and heard the

55:21

two of them arguing at the top of

55:23

the stairs. It

55:26

sounded like V had figured out that

55:28

Ruby was the one who'd been undermining

55:30

her over the past months, and

55:33

she was furious. V

55:35

said cruel things about Ruby's

55:38

appearance and talent, and

55:40

talked about how she'd ruin Ruby at school.

55:44

I'd heard enough. I

55:46

charged up the stairs and found that

55:48

V was the one gripping Ruby, not

55:51

the other way around. Ruby

55:53

seemed frozen, paralyzed,

55:56

and V was the aggressor. All

56:00

I meant to do was

56:02

separate them. I wanted

56:05

to make sure that in her rage,

56:07

V didn't throw Ruby down the stairs.

56:10

So I broke V's hold, and

56:13

I must have done it with too much

56:15

force, because somehow,

56:19

V ended up at the bottom of the steps.

56:23

I planned to call the police and tell the

56:25

truth. V had been

56:27

attacking Ruby and I'd intervened. It

56:29

had been an accident, or was

56:32

it self-defense? Ruby

56:35

said I couldn't do that. Mom,

56:40

she said, you pushed

56:42

her. Her

56:44

eyes filled with tears. You

56:48

can't tell them what really happened. You

56:50

can't leave me. She'd

56:54

been so scared of losing

56:56

me to cancer. I

56:59

couldn't put her in a position where she might

57:01

lose me to prison. She

57:05

insisted we lie to the police, and

57:08

she was very persuasive. We

57:11

got our stories straight. Since

57:13

we're both great actresses, it was

57:16

ruled an accident. But

57:19

somehow, word of

57:22

Ruby's bullying V had gotten out.

57:25

And in the court of

57:27

public opinion, V became a

57:29

victim, and Ruby, a

57:31

suspected murderer. There'd

57:34

been no way to clear her name

57:37

unless I sullied mine, and Ruby

57:39

didn't want that. When

57:42

she wasn't able to transfer schools, London

57:45

had been her idea. Even

57:49

in her suicide note, she'd stuck to

57:51

the story. On

57:53

the one hand, that made

57:55

me feel terribly guilty, but

57:58

on the other, She'd

58:00

been willing to sacrifice herself for me. Thank

58:03

God it hadn't worked. All

58:07

this time, I thought only Ruby and I knew the truth. But

58:10

it's turned out that not

58:12

only has Greg known, he's

58:14

had proof. He told me about

58:16

it tearfully in the very

58:18

same conversation where he confessed that he'd

58:21

slept. He

58:24

told me about it tearfully in the very same

58:26

conversation where

58:28

he confessed that he'd slept with Elise. It

58:32

only happened once, and it

58:34

made me see how much I love you, he

58:36

said. He wasn't trying

58:38

to blackmail me, but

58:41

I still don't believe in coincidences.

58:44

I want to save our family, he

58:47

told me. What could I

58:49

say back? I

58:52

want to save our family too. I

58:55

mustered a few tears while inside,

58:58

I roiled. I

59:02

said that since he had the footage, he

59:04

must have known that it was Ruby's idea to

59:07

cover up the crime. Unfortunately

59:09

for me, there

59:12

was no sound. But

59:14

I'm pretty sure I convinced him that my

59:16

motives had been pure. The

59:20

surprising twist is what

59:22

all this has done for our sex life. Confirming

59:25

that Greg had slept with Elise ignited

59:28

my spirit of competition, and

59:31

I've been upping my sexual game.

59:35

Since we're working on our family, Greg's

59:38

visited a few times. He

59:40

and I have started playing

59:43

out some elaborately designed fantasies.

59:46

Skype sex is pretty hot too.

59:49

Mostly, I like the role

59:51

play. But some

59:54

of Greg's suggestions? He's

59:56

a cop, I'm a suspect.

1:00:00

He's a warden. I'm an

1:00:02

inmate. Remind

1:00:04

me that he holds the trump

1:00:06

card. Giving

1:00:08

Greg the sex of his life has

1:00:11

an ulterior motive. It

1:00:14

saves mine. Sometimes,

1:00:18

afterward, I feel pretty

1:00:21

degraded, trapped even.

1:00:24

And I wonder how long it can go on. How

1:00:28

long I can let it go on. Before

1:00:32

her suicide attempt, Ruby

1:00:34

had talked about being free. What

1:00:38

would I do for freedom? I

1:00:41

see a movement in the corner of my eye

1:00:43

and glance over. It's

1:00:45

Ruby at the end of the row, in her

1:00:48

costume and stage makeup, gesturing

1:00:50

for me to come with her. Because

1:00:53

of the dimmed lights in the auditorium,

1:00:56

it's not until we're out in the hall

1:00:59

that I see just how wild-eyed

1:01:01

with rage she is. It's

1:01:05

still going on, she

1:01:08

tells me. Elise and Dad.

1:01:11

I overheard Sadie laughing about it. I

1:01:14

didn't know Ruby or Sadie had known

1:01:16

about the one-off, let alone. I

1:01:19

could fucking kill them. Elise,

1:01:22

Dad, Sadie, and

1:01:24

Belle and Jess for laughing. I could

1:01:26

kill them all. I

1:01:30

should make efforts to soothe her. That's

1:01:33

what a proper mother would do. Rain

1:01:36

in Ruby's worst instincts. Try

1:01:39

to instill perspective. But

1:01:42

the betrayal is sinking in.

1:01:46

The colossal monumental

1:01:48

betrayal. I'm

1:01:51

sure Bronnie sat next to me in

1:01:53

that theater knowing, and Carolyn

1:01:56

must be smirking backstage, and

1:01:59

Elise, actually told

1:02:01

her daughter. And

1:02:03

her daughter repeated it to

1:02:05

friends who found it equally

1:02:07

hilarious. And my very own

1:02:09

husband, Ruby's very own

1:02:12

father. In

1:02:14

the end, it's Ruby and

1:02:16

me on the outs once again. We've

1:02:20

been trying so hard to be

1:02:22

good, and for what? No

1:02:25

one else is. Maybe

1:02:27

those aren't Ruby's worst instincts. Maybe

1:02:31

they're some of her best. It

1:02:34

might be time for

1:02:36

some mother-daughter bonding. Carolyn.

1:02:48

This is our whole problem and you can't see it.

1:02:51

You expect me to deal with it. Why?

1:02:54

Because all of this is your

1:02:56

doing. Creation, not

1:02:59

doing. All of this is your

1:03:01

creation. I hiss from my spot

1:03:03

in the wings. For fuck's sake,

1:03:06

is it too much to ask that

1:03:08

they don't massacre my elegant, carefully written

1:03:10

lines? I can't fight about

1:03:12

this anymore. I have to go to work. Is

1:03:15

there anything you need before I go? Oh,

1:03:18

just go. Just leave. I

1:03:21

watch as the boy, playing a man,

1:03:24

on the receiving end of this instruction,

1:03:26

does as he's told and just leaves,

1:03:28

without delivering the line that ought to

1:03:30

accompany his exit upstage right. I

1:03:32

shake my head in frustration. I

1:03:35

can't understand why Ollie Nevins was given

1:03:37

the lead mail role. He's

1:03:39

attractive, yes, and sings like an

1:03:41

angel, but he's incapable of learning

1:03:43

lines. He changes words and word

1:03:46

orders whenever it suits him. No

1:03:48

attention to detail, that's his problem. Jess

1:03:51

says his main hobby is smoking

1:03:53

weed, so it's hardly surprising. If

1:03:56

he doesn't watch out, his beautiful voice

1:03:58

won't last long. I

1:04:01

could have insisted he be replaced. Adam

1:04:03

would have done my bidding without question, but

1:04:06

I made a deal with myself that night on the

1:04:08

roof with Adam, in addition to the one

1:04:10

I made with him. I don't

1:04:13

want to be a blackmailer. I

1:04:15

don't want to be the kind of person

1:04:17

who has something on someone and uses it

1:04:19

again and again, who grows accustomed to daily

1:04:22

acts of coercion and starts to think of

1:04:24

them as normal. I wanted

1:04:26

only one thing from Adam, and I

1:04:28

got it. As far as I'm

1:04:30

concerned, he's now a free man, free

1:04:32

to cast whoever he wants as leads in the

1:04:34

end of year production. He

1:04:37

might even be right about Ollie Nevins,

1:04:39

who knows. Star quality and

1:04:41

the wow factor probably matter

1:04:44

more than the odd wrong word here and there.

1:04:47

The audience, which includes anyone who is

1:04:49

anyone from the world of West End

1:04:51

musical theatre, certainly seem to

1:04:53

love Ollie. From where

1:04:55

I'm sitting, I can see the side

1:04:57

of Cameron McIntosh's face two rows from

1:04:59

the front. It's clear he's

1:05:01

impressed by Ollie and by the show as

1:05:04

a whole. He also

1:05:06

seems spellbound by Jess, which is

1:05:08

gratifying. I don't think

1:05:10

Adam only cast her in the main female role

1:05:12

to placate me. She's got

1:05:14

a magical quality about her and he knows

1:05:17

it. No other student at

1:05:19

OFA can sing, act and dance like

1:05:21

Jess and learn lines quickly and get

1:05:23

them alright. No wonder Ruby

1:05:26

was so jealous of her. Though,

1:05:28

actually, Ruby has been lovely

1:05:31

to Jess ever since the problems. Even

1:05:33

when Jess was cast as the female lead

1:05:35

for the most important show of the year,

1:05:37

the one every girl at OFA has been

1:05:39

hoping to get from day one of the

1:05:41

two-year course, Ruby congratulated

1:05:43

her and told her she deserved

1:05:46

it. She's become

1:05:48

a different person since trying and

1:05:50

failing to kill herself. A

1:05:52

whole new Ruby, one I

1:05:55

don't dislike, let alone hate, though

1:05:57

I'm almost ashamed to admit it. The

1:06:00

change in Ruby's character is

1:06:03

why I can't bring myself to think and feel

1:06:05

all the things I ought to think and feel

1:06:07

about Adam. Yes, what

1:06:09

he did was wrong, but he

1:06:12

saw evil and he took action in a

1:06:14

way that hardly anyone ever does. It's

1:06:17

not that I believe Ruby was

1:06:19

fully evil in her former incarnation.

1:06:22

I understand now that it's more complicated

1:06:24

than that, but still, it's

1:06:27

hard to ignore the fact that the

1:06:29

outcome of Adam's appalling, murderous behavior is...

1:06:32

good. Great, in

1:06:34

fact. Ruby and

1:06:36

Jess are properly close friends now.

1:06:39

The gang of four are tighter than ever. Last

1:06:42

weekend they all had a barbecue at Belle's

1:06:44

house and tomorrow night they're having a sleepover

1:06:46

at Sadie's. Do

1:06:48

I care that, if Adam had

1:06:50

aimed a little more carefully, Ruby

1:06:52

would be dead, killed by a

1:06:55

falling slate, and we wouldn't now

1:06:57

have this much improved situation? I

1:07:00

probably should, but try as I might. I

1:07:03

can't bring myself to feel negatively about

1:07:05

Adam. He lost

1:07:07

his daughter, in the most

1:07:09

tragic circumstances imaginable. And

1:07:12

he was the only person in the world who took

1:07:14

action, real action, in

1:07:17

defense of my daughter. Jeff

1:07:20

sings the last line of her

1:07:22

song and the crowd spontaneously rises

1:07:24

to its feet. First

1:07:26

standing ovation of the night, hopefully not

1:07:29

the last. While the

1:07:31

crowd claps, I tiptoe from the wings, push

1:07:33

through the bodies and slip back into my

1:07:35

seat next to Dan. He

1:07:38

reaches for my hand, leans closer,

1:07:40

and whispers, wasn't Jess

1:07:43

amazing? I nod, my

1:07:45

eyes full of tears. The

1:07:48

song was amazing too. You

1:07:50

were right not to let me read the script or hear

1:07:52

any of the songs before tonight. I know

1:07:54

I tried to persuade you, but I'm glad you stood

1:07:56

firm and said no. I gesture

1:07:59

to him to be quiet. it. Any

1:08:01

minute now the set change will be done and the

1:08:03

next scene will start. Having forbidden

1:08:05

him from reading any part of the script beforehand,

1:08:07

I don't want him to miss any of the

1:08:09

musical now. You realise

1:08:11

you're going to have to go up at the end

1:08:14

and get your own standing ovation as the writer, Dan

1:08:17

whispers. My

1:08:19

stomach tightens. I've

1:08:21

spent so many years dreaming about

1:08:23

writing my own musical and having

1:08:25

it staged, but somehow I

1:08:27

failed to realise, idiot that I am,

1:08:29

that if it ever happened I'd be

1:08:31

expected to stand on stage, bow, be

1:08:33

in the limelight. All

1:08:36

I want, all I've ever wanted, is

1:08:38

the music that's been living inside me

1:08:40

all these years to get out into

1:08:42

the world, have a life, be seen

1:08:44

and heard by as many people as

1:08:46

possible. Still, a spotlight's

1:08:49

always nice too, as

1:08:52

long as you're in it for the right reason. That's

1:08:55

what I told Adam that night on

1:08:57

the roof. That was

1:08:59

my price for keeping the truth to

1:09:01

myself. That he must agree

1:09:04

to stage a musical, written by me, as

1:09:06

the end of year show, the one all

1:09:09

the producers and agents and theatre stars

1:09:11

would flock to see. Adam

1:09:13

agreed, of course. What choice

1:09:15

did he have? It's a small

1:09:17

price to pay for hanging on to his career and

1:09:19

his freedom. I think

1:09:22

Elise suspects the truth, or something

1:09:24

resembling it. She knows there's

1:09:26

something I didn't tell her for certain. Being

1:09:29

a control freak, this meant she lost

1:09:31

all interest in being my friend after

1:09:33

she saw that I didn't necessarily go

1:09:35

running to her with everything I knew.

1:09:38

I honestly don't care. I have

1:09:40

all I need, my family, safe

1:09:42

and happy, and now my musical

1:09:44

on a proper stage. It

1:09:47

doesn't matter that it's not a professional

1:09:49

show. That phase of its development will

1:09:51

follow shortly. I have no

1:09:53

doubt. I'll never

1:09:56

forget the astonishment in Adam's voice when he

1:09:58

rang me, having finally read the script. script

1:10:00

and listen to the songs. It's

1:10:03

actually brilliant,

1:10:06

he said, making it sound like a

1:10:08

question. How can a

1:10:10

law professor with no background in music or

1:10:12

theatre have written something this good? That

1:10:15

was clearly the question in his mind. I

1:10:18

don't know the answer any more than he does, nor

1:10:20

do I know if I'll ever write another

1:10:22

musical. All I know is, this

1:10:25

is the best and most important work

1:10:27

I've ever done, no matter

1:10:29

what the department of law at the University

1:10:31

of Cambridge might think. And

1:10:33

now I must sit here patiently

1:10:36

and with no further expectations and

1:10:38

try to be grateful and happy that my show has

1:10:40

got this far, without worrying about

1:10:43

what Cameron McIntosh, Nick Allat and Sonia

1:10:45

Friedman are thinking about it. Will

1:10:48

they be the ones to help me take it further than

1:10:50

the All of Flynn Academy? I

1:10:52

have no way of knowing. A

1:10:55

door on one side of the auditorium

1:10:57

opens and there's a slit of light,

1:10:59

closing to dark a moment later. Was

1:11:02

it someone arriving? Someone

1:11:04

peeping in? I'm so on

1:11:06

edge with the thrill of all this, I

1:11:09

might even have imagined it in my hypersensitive

1:11:11

state. I push it out of my

1:11:13

mind and try to focus on the

1:11:15

next scene. Lisa.

1:11:27

She crouches down next to the wall, near

1:11:29

the door. There's nowhere for

1:11:31

her to sit anyway. Every

1:11:33

seat in the auditorium is taken. They

1:11:37

all seem to be enjoying it and she

1:11:39

can't understand why. She's

1:11:41

never liked musicals, apart from the rocky

1:11:43

horror picture show. Most

1:11:46

of them take themselves way too seriously and all

1:11:48

it does is make you realise how stupid they

1:11:50

are. She used to

1:11:52

think she wanted to be an actress, but

1:11:54

now she's not so sure. More

1:11:57

and more she's thinking that it's not what she was put

1:11:59

on this day. earth to do. She's

1:12:02

never felt entirely comfortable up on

1:12:04

stage, not that she's had much chance

1:12:06

to try it out. Hardly any good

1:12:08

parts have come her way over the years, and her

1:12:10

agent is all but given up on her. Sometimes

1:12:13

you've just got to face facts. She's

1:12:16

not good enough, not got what it takes.

1:12:18

End of story. Looking

1:12:21

at the people on stage now,

1:12:23

brimming with talent, making the audience's

1:12:25

eyes shine with admiration. She

1:12:28

doesn't feel the envy she might once have felt.

1:12:31

This is their vocation, what they

1:12:33

were born to do. It's their thing,

1:12:35

not hers. That's fine.

1:12:38

She can live with that. She

1:12:41

has other talents, as she discovered

1:12:43

last year. A different

1:12:45

sort of acting. That's her sphere

1:12:47

of genius. One that

1:12:50

doesn't involve a stage or a paying

1:12:52

audience. She works better

1:12:54

with a different kind of audience. One

1:12:57

that doesn't know it's watching a performance, or

1:13:00

that anybody's putting on an act. Some

1:13:03

might call it lying, scamming,

1:13:05

tricking. The thing is, it no

1:13:08

longer matters to her how awful all those

1:13:10

words sound, because they're the

1:13:13

words that define where her true talent

1:13:15

lies. Once you

1:13:17

know you're brilliant at something, you

1:13:19

can't help craving the chance to do that thing

1:13:22

again. Everybody at

1:13:24

the Orla Flynn Academy believed

1:13:26

that she was dangerous, creepy, compulsive

1:13:29

liar, Imogen Curwood. No

1:13:32

one could have played that part better than her.

1:13:36

She sees a figure moving in the shadows up

1:13:38

ahead, someone else without a

1:13:40

seat hovering near the black curtains on one

1:13:43

side of the stage. It's

1:13:45

him, Adam. A

1:13:49

spasm of anxiety passes through her.

1:13:51

If he turns and sees her here... No,

1:13:55

he wouldn't make a fuss and throw her out. He

1:13:58

won't want to risk drawing attention to her. her

1:14:00

presence. If he wants

1:14:02

nothing more to do with her, she can live with

1:14:04

that. All she needs is

1:14:06

five minutes of his time, a brief

1:14:09

conversation. He played her well

1:14:11

for her work, and no doubt believes

1:14:13

that he now owes her nothing, but

1:14:15

she disagrees. And

1:14:17

even if she's wrong, she doesn't care.

1:14:20

She saw him up on that roof when the tile

1:14:22

fell, and he knows it. She

1:14:25

could get him arrested and charged with

1:14:27

attempted murder. Hopefully it

1:14:29

won't come to that, but that's

1:14:32

largely up to Adam. It's

1:14:34

his loss if he sends her away,

1:14:36

in more ways than one. She's

1:14:39

not generally a bitter person, but

1:14:42

she winds herself up sometimes, thinking about

1:14:44

how he sees her, talentless,

1:14:46

dispensable. That's

1:14:49

why he chose her. Yes, there

1:14:51

was the Villiers' connection, her relationship

1:14:53

with Grace. But it wasn't

1:14:55

only that. In the world of

1:14:57

actors and acting, he knew she had

1:14:59

no status at all. He

1:15:02

probably saw her as a desperate

1:15:04

failure, and imagined she'd be pathetically

1:15:06

grateful for any crumbs he threw

1:15:08

her way. The crowd rises to

1:15:10

its feet, and the sound of

1:15:12

applause rings in her ears. Adam

1:15:15

Racky disappears inside the black curtain, and

1:15:17

she follows him. He

1:15:20

stops, turns, as if he

1:15:22

sensed her there. Lisa.

1:15:26

He has no right to look at her like

1:15:28

this, as if she's some mouldy stinking piece of

1:15:30

rubbish that's just fallen out of his wheelie bin.

1:15:33

She wants to scream at him, it was

1:15:35

all your fucking idea, I only did what

1:15:37

you asked me to do. Instead,

1:15:41

she smiles. She

1:15:43

has learnt, over the years, that

1:15:45

to let anybody know when you're upset or why,

1:15:48

is to give away power you can't afford

1:15:50

to lose. Hello

1:15:52

Adam, it's going well, isn't

1:15:54

it? The audience seems to

1:15:57

love it. I told you

1:15:59

never to come back. here. He

1:16:01

looks scared but doubtful, as

1:16:03

if he's wondering if anger might be more

1:16:05

appropriate. I know,

1:16:08

she tells him. I remember.

1:16:12

Then what are you... Doing here?

1:16:15

I was wondering if you might have any more work

1:16:17

for me. You know I

1:16:19

haven't, Lisa. We had an agreement.

1:16:22

I asked you not to contact me again and you

1:16:24

promised you wouldn't. You know that. And

1:16:28

you seem to have forgotten what else

1:16:30

I know. He

1:16:32

shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the

1:16:34

other. There's nothing he can say to

1:16:36

that. She's got

1:16:38

him cornered. So

1:16:41

you're here to threaten me? Is that

1:16:43

it? How much? How

1:16:45

much will it take for you to never come back? That's

1:16:48

not what I want. I'm

1:16:51

not after blackmail money. I'm after

1:16:53

work. I want you to

1:16:55

listen to me, that's all. Five

1:16:57

minutes. And yes, then I'll

1:16:59

go and I won't be back. Not

1:17:02

if you're sure that's what you want. Haven't

1:17:05

I made it clear already that I'm sure?

1:17:08

You have, but the thing

1:17:10

is, Adam, it makes no sense.

1:17:13

I helped you. You wanted

1:17:15

to make Ruby Donovan suffer. Keep your

1:17:18

voice down. And I helped you

1:17:20

to do that. She suffered. A

1:17:22

lot. Then when you lost

1:17:24

your call up on the roof and decided you

1:17:26

wanted to kill her, something you never

1:17:29

ran past me as part of the plan, I

1:17:31

saved her. I stopped you

1:17:33

from becoming a murderer. Aren't you

1:17:36

glad? I mean, don't I deserve

1:17:38

some thanks for that? You

1:17:40

haven't come here for gratitude, Lisa. So

1:17:42

don't pretend you have. It's

1:17:45

time for her to get to the point. I've

1:17:48

been thinking, Adam, about

1:17:51

the real Imogen Curward, the

1:17:53

one who drove Grace to suicide and got

1:17:55

away with it. He

1:17:57

recoils. What about her? When

1:18:01

you first told me about Ruby, everything

1:18:03

she'd said and done, her bullying of

1:18:05

Jess, it was clear that

1:18:07

you wanted to punish her because Imogen was beyond

1:18:09

your reach. Ruby was

1:18:11

your substitute, the one

1:18:13

you decided would have to do. I'm

1:18:15

right, aren't I? So?

1:18:19

Lisa smiles. Wouldn't

1:18:22

you like to know exactly where Imogen

1:18:24

is? Her address, for

1:18:26

example? He

1:18:28

doesn't answer. His eyes dart left and

1:18:30

right as he tries to work out

1:18:33

how to answer. Please

1:18:35

leave now, Lisa, he

1:18:38

says in a strangled voice. I'm

1:18:40

asking you sincerely. Maybe

1:18:43

you wouldn't like to know, she

1:18:45

says. Maybe you're a coward

1:18:47

at heart. It's easy to do

1:18:49

what you did to Ruby. No one

1:18:51

would have any reason to suspect you. If

1:18:54

something happened to the real Imogen Curward,

1:18:56

on the other hand, especially while you

1:18:58

were in America, it'd be hard to

1:19:00

dodge the blame for that, wouldn't

1:19:02

it? You'd need help to pull

1:19:05

that off, I'd imagine. Stop

1:19:08

talking about her, says

1:19:10

Adam, weekly. I

1:19:13

will soon, Lisa Dasely

1:19:15

says. Once you've answered

1:19:17

the question I came here to ask you.

1:19:21

She smiles. Anyone watching

1:19:23

will think they're having a normal conversation.

1:19:27

How much would you pay me to take

1:19:29

care of this for you? She

1:19:31

says. To go to

1:19:33

America and find the real Imogen

1:19:36

Curward. And

1:19:42

there we have it. I love that

1:19:45

final moment with Lisa slash Imogen, whatever.

1:19:47

Particularly with her revelation that she has

1:19:49

discovered that she likes a different sort

1:19:51

of acting. I've heard it said that

1:19:53

spies, which is somewhat related, are just

1:19:55

actors that like the quiet. And I love

1:19:57

that expression, and I love how this all played

1:19:59

out. I love that. all these different point of

1:20:01

views that we have, that there's ambiguity, that things

1:20:03

are, we know as the listener

1:20:05

what all the different pieces are, but even within

1:20:07

that, there's still a lot to figure out, and

1:20:10

it sounds like maybe more to come. I have

1:20:12

no special knowledge of that. I'm just kind of

1:20:14

hoping that there is. Other thing I'll mention, of

1:20:16

course, being a kind of a Shakespeare guy, is

1:20:18

that how appropriate was that Shakespeare was quoted throughout

1:20:21

this and was kind of the theatrical cloth that

1:20:23

this was cut from, and that's with all the

1:20:25

intrigue and the things that we do for family.

1:20:27

Strikes me as very Shakespearean, but that also leads

1:20:29

me to the other thing I wanted to talk

1:20:32

about. This is Adrenaline. This

1:20:34

is the thriller channel, and this

1:20:36

is a very different kind of thriller than

1:20:38

we've seen previously. There are no post-apocalyptic zombies,

1:20:40

for example. No portals to other dimensions, none

1:20:42

of that kind of stuff. And yet we

1:20:44

have always defined thriller on this show as

1:20:47

the response that you, the listener, gets

1:20:50

when you go through it, when you

1:20:52

experience it. The pitfalls, the surprises, the

1:20:54

thrills, the chills, the tiles falling, all

1:20:56

those things are what make a thriller.

1:20:58

So, standing ovations to the writing crew,

1:21:00

Holly Brown, Sophie Hanna, Claire McIntosh, and

1:21:02

B.A. Paris, and a special encore applause

1:21:04

for Marion Hussey and Carol Jacobenez for

1:21:06

some really fantastic performances all around. And,

1:21:08

of course, some snaps to the audio

1:21:10

production by Amandaro Smith and her theme

1:21:12

and sound design as well too, which

1:21:14

certainly is a character in of itself.

1:21:16

So, thank you for listening. I hope

1:21:18

you enjoyed it as much as I

1:21:21

did. And we are going to take

1:21:23

a little break here on Adrenaline, but

1:21:25

we'll be back shortly with more thrilling

1:21:27

mysteries. In the meantime, you can listen

1:21:29

to any of our past seasons, all your

1:21:31

favorites that are still there. The triangle's nice, of

1:21:33

course. But also, you know,

1:21:35

maybe check out Memory Lane, written by Sarah

1:21:37

Shepard of Pretty Little Liars fame. And, of

1:21:40

course, being seasonally appropriate, it's spooky time, so

1:21:42

you could go over to Undertow, which is

1:21:44

Realm's premiere horror channel, where you could hear

1:21:46

some terrifying stories of werewolves, aliens, and sea

1:21:49

creatures. Oh my. And if you

1:21:51

enjoyed this story on Adrenaline, please

1:21:53

be sure to rate, review, and share it with your friends.

1:21:56

As always, I'm your host, Neil Heiligerz.

1:21:58

I deeply appreciate you listening. listening and

1:22:00

take care. Listen

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