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full terms at mintmobile .com. Hello.

1:20

Hello. How are you? I'm all

1:22

right, how are you? You nearly jumped out your skin then

1:24

when I said hello to you. I don't know why. We

1:26

were about to start the podcast. Why would it be so

1:28

unusual for you to say hello? I don't know. And we've

1:30

been chatting for about an hour. I don't

1:32

know. I don't know. How's your week

1:34

been? Good. Thanks, yeah. You? Very

1:37

good. My friend took me out

1:39

for an extremely fancy meal.

1:42

Oh, nice. Like,

1:44

fancy and I've been out for probably

1:47

in a decade. Oh, really? One of these

1:49

places that has three stars, which is

1:51

the most you can get if you're restaurant,

1:53

if a hotel, different ball

1:55

game. You can't get four or five. No,

1:58

like three stars is the top restaurant.

2:00

Really? Three Michelin stars. Yes.

2:02

But with hotels, like it was

2:04

five stars was the best and then

2:06

somebody said, ah, do you want to

2:08

come to our six star hotel? Then

2:11

I think there was a seven star

2:13

one in Dubai, I mean, who knows

2:15

where it's up to now, but restaurants

2:17

still, the, you know, there are very few

2:20

three star restaurants and my friend

2:22

took me to one of them and

2:24

was better still, is he

2:26

said in the text. when

2:28

he invited me, my treat.

2:30

Oh, thank you very much.

2:32

Because I would have got

2:34

myself in knots figuring out

2:36

how to decline otherwise. Oh,

2:38

yeah. All just got into

2:40

debt because I felt too

2:43

awkward to decline. But that

2:45

was very kind of him.

2:48

And I loved it, loved

2:50

the company, loved the restaurant,

2:52

found three things exhausting. Number

2:55

one. trying to hold my

2:57

face in an interested position when

2:59

the waiter is describing like, you

3:01

know, where the mushrooms have been

3:03

dug up from, or which part

3:05

of Lancashire the cheese came from,

3:07

or how many months it had

3:09

been aged for, because it's one

3:11

of those weird things like with

3:13

babies. It's always in months. It's

3:15

not like I was age for three

3:17

years, it's 36 months, then you have

3:19

to do the sum. I don't know

3:22

the difference either. I can't taste the

3:24

difference between one that's been age for

3:26

36 months and one that's been age

3:28

for 37 months. What percentage of

3:30

people do you think are interested

3:32

in the description of the food?

3:34

I think you've got to feel

3:36

like you're getting your money's worth,

3:38

haven't you? Yeah, I think so. Is that

3:41

what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then

3:43

the next thing that I found exhausting.

3:45

What do you mean the savoring? What are they

3:47

enjoying it? So someone that's paying for your

3:49

food and so we're chatting about what you've

3:51

been watching on TV, the traitors. The next

3:54

dish comes out, the waiter gives you

3:56

the long description you have to hold

3:58

your face in the interested position. And

4:00

then you can't just eat and

4:02

carry on talking. You have to

4:04

be, you have to share reverence

4:07

towards the food. Yes. And then

4:09

you have to like eat it and

4:11

then mmm. And you're really considering

4:14

it. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter if

4:16

you're in the middle of

4:18

an anecdote. You have to consider

4:20

the food. You can't just go

4:23

by unremarked upon. No, and that

4:25

would be terrible. I know, you know,

4:27

if I had taken someone out for

4:29

dinner and they didn't save her at

4:31

that price point. Just shoveling it

4:34

down. Some price points, a shovel

4:36

is fine, but there's a price

4:38

point above which a shovel isn't

4:41

appropriate and you want to see the

4:43

person save her. And then the

4:45

third thing I found exhausting was

4:47

then coming up with... Adjectives,

4:49

every time like the weights came in

4:51

between each of the 19 courses or

4:53

whatever it was and said how was

4:55

it? You know, it doesn't feel right

4:58

to just go, yeah, it's good,

5:00

oh. Oh yeah, delicious. You feel

5:02

like you have to say something

5:05

about the food, like you're Egon

5:07

Rone or something. I've got nothing

5:09

to say. So you're like, oh

5:11

yeah, it's, oh it was like

5:14

a conger on my tongue. No.

5:16

Oh yeah, I mean those tomatoes

5:18

were so sincere. I don't know

5:20

what to say. Please tell me

5:23

you didn't say those things. No,

5:25

but I feel these are things

5:27

you're supposed to say. Since. It's

5:29

leaving is too big of a

5:31

project. It's like, you know, at the

5:33

end of the wedding, when the

5:35

bride and groom are going off

5:38

on the honeymoon and they all,

5:40

you know, they don't quite stand

5:42

there and make an archway with

5:44

their arms. It's like, it's like

5:47

there's a line. You say every

5:49

weighty you've encountered throughout the evening.

5:51

And they're always, it's never the

5:53

same one, but not because they've

5:55

gone off shift or... Yeah, to

5:57

go to the Lou or something.

6:00

It's like it's somebody's job to bring in a booze

6:02

-boosh and then it's somebody else And then somebody's bringing

6:04

wine for my friend and it's and then at

6:06

the end of the night It's like the end of

6:08

the Wizard of Oz before she gets into the

6:10

balloon where it's like oh and Dessert

6:13

waiter. I'll miss you most of all So

6:16

I could do without all of

6:18

that, but it was it was otherwise

6:20

superb good Hope

6:23

I hope that was relatable. Yeah

6:26

Yeah, maybe it

6:28

isn't you think that's I've been to

6:30

a posh tasting menu restaurant before a couple

6:32

of times Maybe even three or four. I

6:34

like to think that we've we've got listeners

6:36

who've had a broad range of experiences Yes,

6:38

yes, you know and the point is this

6:40

isn't it's not like I'm saying that this

6:42

is what I do every Friday I've only

6:45

although quite exhausted. Yeah, it would be exhausted.

6:47

It'd be great adjectives by the end of the year

6:49

Wouldn't you take it to sores with? Yes. Yeah, that's

6:51

what I'd start doing But

6:53

I hope it's I hope so

6:55

remember like hearing somebody on the

6:57

radio once complaining about You

7:00

know that something to do with the

7:02

person who was building their swimming pool Yeah,

7:07

I do think that across a

7:09

lifetime, you know By and large our

7:11

audience is we've got a few

7:13

younger ones who've got this ahead of

7:15

them. Yes, but I feel that Across

7:18

a lifetime. This is something you might do

7:20

once or twice. I'm sure so Thanks

7:23

for making me paranoid about

7:25

that. Sorry. Sorry. That's sounding elitist

7:30

You sent me some

7:32

clippings. Yes, I'm gonna go low

7:34

brown now. Okay, good. It's from

7:36

the Guardian A

7:39

computer expert who has battled

7:41

for a decade to recover

7:43

a 600 million pound bitcoin

7:45

fortune He believes is buried

7:47

in a council dump in south wales

7:49

Is considering buying the site so

7:51

he can hunt for the missing fortune

7:54

James, I think we've talked about

7:56

it before, haven't we? I love this

7:58

story. Yeah, James Howells last lost a

8:00

high court case last month to force

8:02

Newport City Council to allow him to search

8:04

the tip to retrieve the hard drive

8:06

he says contains the bitcoins. The council has

8:08

since announced plans to close and cap

8:11

the site. Wasn't there something to do with

8:13

if he starts rummaging around? It's like

8:15

environmental hazard or something. There was some reason

8:17

why it wasn't as cut and dry

8:19

as like, I would let him have a

8:21

look. But wouldn't it be fun to

8:23

own your own tip though? Do you think

8:26

so? Yeah, I think whether or not

8:28

you found the 600 million bean, like, it

8:30

sounds like, you know, they're getting rid

8:32

of the tip. So they might use, you're

8:34

trying to get planning permission to build

8:36

a solar wind farm. Good for them. But

8:38

couldn't they build that on some other

8:41

bit of council land and like let a

8:43

man have his own tip? Your own

8:45

tip? Do you not feel that you feel

8:47

like a king? You feel like a

8:49

king if you had your own tip. Would

8:51

you just go and sort of stand

8:53

on the borders and crush your arms and

8:55

survey it? Like your land of junk,

8:58

you know, I think it sounds what I

9:00

own all this. Yeah. Do

9:02

you think that's what's happening there is

9:05

anybody who read or was exposed to

9:07

Stig of the Dump as a child

9:09

romanticizes the tip a bit too much.

9:11

I worry that this is what's going

9:13

on here for both of us. Yeah.

9:15

I think the tip's like a really

9:17

funny idea. I mean, it's not good

9:19

with hindsight. It's quite depressing really you

9:21

think when you when I first like

9:23

really thought about it, I thought, oh,

9:26

that's not great. I don't know if

9:28

it's maybe it's most of my life.

9:30

The tip was just something I accepted.

9:32

Yeah. And then as you become more

9:34

aware of environmental issues and the crisis

9:36

that we're in, thinking, that was a

9:38

funny idea. was just a huge pile

9:40

of festering junk on the edge of

9:42

the town. Oh, God, yeah. It's so

9:45

short sighted. People,

9:47

I mean, how much how

9:49

much how much rubbish could

9:51

we make with thinking to

9:53

ourselves? Turns out a lot.

9:55

Yeah. But before that, did

9:57

people just like to just

9:59

throw stuff in the river?

10:01

I know there wasn't as

10:03

much. Yeah, it didn't happen. Everything was reused until

10:05

it kind of wore away, I think. Yes, it's no

10:07

rubbish. My, I think I've told you before, my dad

10:10

would let us scavenge on the tip.

10:12

Which in my memory, it really was

10:14

some slum-tug millionaire stuff going up, you

10:16

know, I feel like I was crawling

10:19

up a mound of filthy, disgusting rubbish.

10:21

And he would let us do, so

10:23

if we go... with him to take

10:25

some stuff to the tip and my

10:28

mom didn't come with us. We'd be

10:30

allowed to scavenge on the condition that

10:32

anything we got, we told my mom

10:34

that it had been given to us

10:37

by a kindly old lady who was

10:39

about to throw it out. Oh and

10:41

you hadn't been scavenging. Yeah. Yeah, so

10:43

the scavenging was a... Okay, okay, okay.

10:45

And then whatever we retrieved it was

10:47

from this kindly old lady. So the

10:50

tip was just probably thinking.

10:52

Excuse me. Like even as a

10:54

kid I knew that was funny

10:57

and like now it's such an

10:59

insight into a marriage isn't

11:01

it? If you think about

11:03

what it is to be a

11:06

parent or an adult and

11:08

just you know the amount,

11:10

the layers, I mean there's

11:12

more layers in that

11:14

story in my parents

11:16

marriage than there are layers

11:18

in that landfill on

11:21

the outskirts. Now

11:24

he was saying the drifters have really

11:26

personally let you down this week.

11:29

I opened up with the inbox

11:31

and I felt I felt I felt

11:33

disappointed. I felt like oh What's going

11:35

on? You're just ignoring us right now.

11:37

Okay, fine. Like what have we done

11:40

so wrong? I suppose there was

11:42

some weeks that we've missed through

11:44

difficult life circumstances because Tom was

11:46

working away. We've had to record

11:48

on a Wednesday a few times

11:50

or on a Tuesday. There is

11:52

that. Maybe people are punishing us

11:54

for our inconsistency. Maybe, maybe that's it.

11:56

But luckily Joe this week has really

11:58

pulled her way and she sent us two.

12:00

Good, thank you Joe. Thank you Joe. You

12:02

recently asked for stories where you've been possessed

12:04

by a non-drifter. It drugged my memory

12:06

about something that happened to me a

12:08

couple of years ago. I am fortunate

12:10

to live very close to my children's

12:12

primary school so I only have a

12:15

short three-minute walk in the morning and

12:17

afternoon. Also because of the proximity of

12:19

our house to the school twice a

12:21

day our road fills up with school-run

12:23

cars. They occasionally block driveways but it

12:25

never bothers me as I'm never trying

12:27

to use my drive then because I'm

12:29

walking to or from school. One sunny afternoon

12:31

at home time, as usual the road

12:33

was bustling with cars, parents and children, halfway

12:35

home and on the opposite side of the

12:37

road, one of my neighbours was being shouted

12:40

at by a man, who I presumed

12:42

to be a school dad, who had parked

12:44

in our road for pickup. From what I

12:46

gathered, the dad had blocked my neighbour's drive,

12:49

who'd come out to confront him. Now, I

12:51

don't know the neighbour. Why would I? I'm

12:53

a drifter. But he seems like a

12:55

nice guy. The man who'd part across his

12:57

drive was shouting and swearing at my neighbour,

13:00

who looked quite frightened. I thought,

13:02

why is everyone ignoring this? Am I

13:04

the only one who can see and hear

13:06

this? Then I can hardly believe what

13:09

I did next. I shouted, as

13:11

loud as my normally meek and

13:13

mild voice could, excuse me, stop

13:15

swearing in front of all of our

13:17

children. Good for you! At that point

13:19

it seemed like everyone, including the shouty

13:21

angry man, stopped and looked at me.

13:23

Oh my God, why did I shout?

13:26

Was it going to start effing and

13:28

jeffing at me? Nope, he said, sorry,

13:30

got in his car and drove away.

13:32

What? The afternoon continued, and I walked

13:35

back to my house in disbelief. No

13:37

one has mentioned it since. Not even

13:39

the neighbour I rescued. And I still

13:41

don't know his name. I wonder if

13:43

you just weren't recognizable as

13:45

you? May, oh yes, because you

13:47

were shouting. Maybe. On a different

13:49

topic, a few shows ago, Annabel

13:51

mentioned she forgot she'd driven to

13:53

Sainsbury's. I don't think it's you,

13:56

Annabel. I have a theory that

13:58

supermarkets mess with people's memories. The

14:00

week after listening to Annabelle's

14:02

forgetfulness at the supermarket these

14:04

three incidents occurred during the

14:06

same week at the same

14:08

supermarket. My mum drove to the supermarket

14:10

but on her rival realised she'd only

14:12

picked up her car keys so with

14:14

no purse or phone had to drive

14:16

home without her shopping. The same week

14:19

a friend of mine came out of

14:21

the supermarket and completely forgot where she

14:23

had parked. They had to walk around

14:25

the car park for a considerable a

14:27

matter of time until she found it.

14:29

Then... I went to the same supermarket

14:32

to pick up antibiotics for my poorly

14:34

husband from the in-store pharmacy with specific

14:36

instructions from my husband to also purchase

14:38

original Lucasade and nothing other than the

14:40

original as in his words that's the only

14:42

one with medicinal powers. That's what I say

14:45

too! See Jeff it's true. My husband doesn't

14:47

listen to this he's not a drifter. He's

14:49

not a drifter. So I head straight to the

14:52

pharmacy who instruct me to come back

14:54

in 15 minutes whilst they prep the

14:56

prescription. Plenty of time to buy a

14:59

new broom, some crisps, and a birthday

15:01

card I remembered I needed. Returned home,

15:03

no Lukasade. I felt so guilty

15:05

I walked to the corner shop and

15:08

paid almost double. Well thank you

15:10

to Joe for picking up the slack

15:12

this week. Yes, thank you. And do

15:14

we need some kind of reset here?

15:16

Look, we know due to life

15:18

circumstances we've been a little more

15:21

erratic than usual of late and

15:23

some of that's a bit better,

15:25

some of it isn't and we

15:28

wish it wasn't so and we

15:30

just have to work around that

15:33

as much as we can. But

15:35

you know, barring illness or holidays

15:37

and I've gotten on planned,

15:40

you'll probably go somewhere at

15:42

Easter, won't you? Don't think

15:44

so? Really, that's not like

15:47

you. Mm-hmm. They're always

15:49

gathering about you. To Tom's

15:51

family sounds. Yeah, well they

15:53

don't have that anymore. No,

15:55

well they'll go, they'll be

15:57

there. That'll be that this.

16:00

a good news for the drifters.

16:02

But yeah, we're here. Sometimes

16:04

it's Tuesday, sometimes it's Wednesday we

16:06

record and that's just the

16:08

situation we're dealing with at the

16:10

moment. Please forgive us. One

16:12

day it'll get better. But

16:15

that doesn't mean you should punish us

16:17

by not sending us great emails. Don't punish

16:19

us. Because we want to hear about your

16:21

exploits in the world. We

16:23

want to hear about your uncomfortable

16:25

interactions. Have you tried to use

16:27

superlatives or flowery adjectives in

16:29

a restaurant and it's going to

16:31

arrive for you? Have you opened

16:33

your mouth? The wrong thing came out or nothing

16:35

came out? Have you got a

16:37

story about despite the fact that

16:40

you are a drifter? You've had

16:42

an incredible hulk -like moment where

16:44

the rage just descended on you

16:46

like Joe. And you got a

16:48

glimpse of the person you are in

16:50

a different part the multiverse. Your

16:53

stories of interactions

16:56

that still stop

16:58

you from sleeping at night when you think about them.

17:00

That's what we want, please. Yeah, please, yes. The

17:02

email address is hello

17:04

at adriftpodcast .com. It's

17:22

hard not to get wrapped up

17:25

in how everyone else is doing.

17:27

But imagine how you'd feel if

17:29

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17:31

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17:33

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17:35

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17:37

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17:39

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17:41

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17:43

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17:45

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17:47

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17:49

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17:51

the first step today. Visit

17:53

cerebral.com/podcast to see how affordable and

17:55

accessible mental health care can

17:57

be with insurance. Annabelle,

18:08

do you want to tell us

18:10

about your sub -stack? Oh, yes, I

18:12

do. This week, I've delved into the

18:14

secrets of the jolly green giant.

18:16

Oh, green giant? Yeah, all the weirdness

18:18

behind this seemingly ordinary food mascot.

18:20

He's quite a Hulk -like himself, isn't

18:22

he? Very Hulk -like. You know what?

18:24

He turned green 30 years before the

18:26

Incredible Hulk. Oh. Yeah. I'm not

18:28

saying anything. Was it radiation -related? No.

18:31

And how was his anger management? I think

18:33

he was quite bad at the start, but

18:35

he's chilled out bit now. Yeah, yeah. The

18:37

honey monster's a bit like that, isn't he?

18:39

The honey monster? Yeah. Oh, because it gets

18:41

a bit sulky about wanting it's honey. Yeah.

18:43

I don't know if he's still around. They're

18:45

not called sugar puffs anymore, are they? Well,

18:48

what are they called? Honey puffs. Oh, because

18:50

of the worst sugar? Is that real? Oh,

18:52

I did not know that. How did I

18:54

not know that? You could do that as

18:56

a sequel for your Substack One movie. Oh,

18:58

that's so funny. I'm good. Well, I'm not

19:00

going to ask you more about it because

19:02

I want to read it. It's actually really

19:04

interesting. There's lots of interesting photos as I

19:06

don't disbelieve it. You said quite defensive when

19:08

you said it's actually interesting. Well, because I

19:10

have the most thing I want to do.

19:12

I didn't care about Jolly Green Giant. Well,

19:14

you should. Yeah. It's good, all right. AnnabellePort

19:18

.substack .com. Please come and visit me. And

19:20

do you want to give us a

19:22

way in which you are not a

19:24

fully functioning adult? I do, yeah. And

19:26

we're going to go back inside my

19:28

house again this week because I'm trying

19:30

to alternate with something inside and outside

19:33

so it doesn't get too bleak in

19:35

my life. Now, you may recall me

19:37

mentioning a while back. In fact, I

19:39

checked and it was four years ago,

19:41

but I had some concerns that my

19:43

home tilts and this was all down

19:45

to that all the doors on one

19:48

side won't stay shut and less fully

19:50

closed. They just swing open if you

19:52

push them to. I said at the

19:54

time that I should perhaps get a

19:56

structural engineering involved, but here we are

19:58

four years later and that has not

20:00

happened, obviously. And I don't think it's

20:03

a common problem because I have tried

20:05

to Google solutions and the only thing that

20:07

ever comes up is a thing where you adjust the hinges by taking the

20:09

pins out but my pins are not budging so I've had to give up

20:11

on that and I've settled on wedging slippers taken from hotel rooms under the

20:13

doors at all times so it stays put wherever you leave it

20:16

great solution fantastic ingenious

20:18

yeah kind of because I started doing

20:20

this four years ago and I want

20:22

you to if you dare if you

20:24

can bear to imagine what those White

20:26

slip-on hotel slippers look like now. Four

20:28

years are brushing along the floor. It

20:30

wouldn't be inconceivable to a stranger in

20:32

my house that I had small road

20:34

kill under my doors. But it's amazing

20:36

what you get used to, isn't it?

20:39

Isn't it amazing what you get used

20:41

to? until someone makes you really notice

20:43

it. And in this case it was

20:45

a gas man who was in our

20:47

flat doing some work and he was going

20:49

to be doing some drilling in the kitchen

20:51

so he considerably went to close the kitchen

20:53

door then he noticed that there was something

20:55

keeping the door open at the base and

20:57

he went to move it like he moved

20:59

towards it to remove it and everything went

21:01

fully into slow motion for me. And as

21:03

he got closer to it, I felt him

21:05

pause as he realized what was going on.

21:07

And either he was embarrassed for me or

21:09

it was too late to back out. So

21:11

he still started removing it. And I had

21:14

to say, oh no, that's supposed to be

21:16

there. And then I went to my room and

21:18

spent some time on the internet googling

21:20

weather up to you with inventing the

21:22

memory erasure procedure and eternal sunshine on

21:24

the spotless mind. It was probably time

21:27

to kill him to kill him.

21:29

Because without the knowledge goes,

21:31

yeah, yeah, the knowledge of

21:33

what happened goes didn't cross

21:35

my mind. Did you get

21:37

plough for a year? Like

21:39

a detective trying to unravel

21:42

the app. Why was she

21:44

going to get out? In

21:46

the evidence, I've got to do

21:48

something about this. But

21:50

I still couldn't find any

21:53

workable solutions online. Then a

21:55

few weeks ago, I had

21:57

this. I'm going to call it an incredible

22:00

brainwave. I realized that I've been tackling

22:02

the wrong part of the door. By

22:04

putting something under the door, that's gathering

22:06

up all the dust as it sweeps

22:08

along the floor. But what if I

22:10

put something on the top of the

22:12

door? Honestly, it felt as

22:14

monumental as that apple falling from the tree

22:16

in front of my as a Newton. But what

22:18

can I put on top of the door?

22:20

The slippers will just fall off. So I have

22:22

a thing. And then I get a tea

22:24

towel from the kitchen. It's not a new tea

22:26

towel. I don't have any of those. It's

22:28

probably about seven years old. And what I did

22:30

was fold it once and then place it

22:32

over the top of the door. And then I

22:34

pushed the door to and it stayed there. So

22:37

now I don't have disgusting old slippers

22:39

rammed under half my doors. Now I

22:41

have what I like to think of as

22:44

cravatts on my doors. Very

22:46

distinguished and dignified seven year

22:48

old tea towel cravatts. I

22:50

am so happy. I should

22:52

never need to be embarrassed

22:55

again. I've told you you can never

22:57

move from there, haven't I? Yeah. Yeah. Because

22:59

of people come around to look at it. No,

23:01

because if it went on right move it,

23:03

go viral. Yeah. Yeah. Some

23:12

more clippings then. This

23:15

one here from the BBC. Hunt for

23:17

rare daffodils that have feared loss. Daffodil

23:20

experts have drawn up a wanted list

23:22

of long lost varieties linked to

23:24

local places such as the vibrant bonfire

23:26

yellow in Sussex. Rare

23:28

varieties could be lost if they're

23:30

not found and cared for, said

23:33

Gwen Hines of the Plant Conservation

23:35

Charity, Plant Heritage. I

23:39

can live without them. What?

23:41

I love daffodils. Not daffodils full stop. Really? What

23:43

I'm saying is varieties. Too many. Here's

23:46

what you want from a daffodil.

23:48

You want the yellowy one. And

23:50

then you want the one that's

23:52

kind of like a very

23:54

off -white, very pale yellow with

23:56

yellow in the middle. What's

23:58

the other one? too. Oh, that's it. Yeah,

24:01

you don't need any more, do you?

24:03

You need the very yellow one. Yeah.

24:05

And the one that's kind of like

24:07

the limited edition one. Yes, yes. Yeah,

24:09

that's all I mean. I don't think

24:11

we need any others. It's like, you

24:13

know, when there's Diet Coke and Coke

24:15

zero and caffeine-free Coke and Diet Free

24:17

Coke with a twist of lemon and

24:19

we don't need all these different ones.

24:21

Keep it's the one that hasn't got

24:23

sugar in it. I don't know. And

24:26

that's how I feel like. And

24:28

then maybe, okay, I'll let you

24:30

do no sugar, no caffeine as

24:33

well. But that's all the varieties

24:35

you need. We don't need more

24:37

than two daffodils. Put your energy

24:40

into something else, Gwenheim. Are you

24:42

going to write it to her

24:44

personally and tell her? No, no.

24:47

This is, I'm issuing my opinion

24:49

through the platform that I have

24:51

here on this podcast. Okay.

24:53

in this. Do you have

24:56

an association between daffodils

24:58

and any famous person

25:00

from our lifetime? Well, I

25:02

think of like Gladioli

25:04

and Morrissey, but they're not quite

25:06

the same, are they? So they

25:08

know, then I don't know. I

25:10

have it in my head. And

25:12

I don't know where this

25:14

information came from, but I

25:17

think it was television when I

25:19

was a child. That the Queen

25:21

Mother... used to like eating

25:24

daffodils. What? Mmm. I mean I've

25:26

heard about people accidentally

25:28

eating daffodils before they

25:31

bloom, thinking they're spring

25:33

onions. No. But actually

25:35

eating a daffodil. Eating the

25:38

flowers, yeah. And I can't remember

25:40

where I got that from.

25:42

And I almost don't want

25:44

to ruin it by googling it.

25:46

In my head. By checking a fact.

25:48

Don't ruin it. I'm desperate to Google

25:51

it now. The sort of thing that's

25:53

not going to come up is it?

25:55

I'm trying to think like, would you

25:57

be able to masticate with those teeth?

26:00

I'm wondering if that's what stained her teeth. That's

26:02

my concern now. Yeah. Wow.

26:06

Oh, I'm desperate to google it.

26:08

And I remember thinking

26:11

that's like an idiosyncrasy. That's

26:13

the next entresty of the Queen Mother.

26:15

What an interesting fact. Whereas now with

26:17

hindsight, if it is true, it was

26:19

probably some kind of decline. Oh,

26:23

in her thought process. Yeah,

26:25

I think so. Oh, that's sad. Oh,

26:27

no, don't. We're all terrified of her, so

26:29

we can't say anything. But you know, like

26:31

really posh people, like put flowers on their silos and

26:33

stuff, but they're edible flowers, right? Aren't they? I think

26:35

a daffodil is edible. I

26:37

mean, I don't think it's

26:39

what's finished wrong. Oh, God, maybe. At

26:42

the age of 100 or whatever it was.

26:44

Finally. I've taken too soon because you've

26:46

been eating a daffodil. Hey, what if they give you

26:48

longevity? Oh, you think that's

26:50

what it was? Not just all the wealth and privilege.

26:53

I'm not encouraging anyone to try it.

26:55

No. Here's the thing about edible

26:57

flowers. I don't think

27:00

an edible flower has ever improved the

27:02

taste of anything. No, I totally

27:04

agree. And I say this as someone

27:06

who goes to fancy restaurants for

27:08

like 19 course tasting menus. But

27:12

it's baby -ish having them because

27:14

they, okay, they make the plate

27:16

look pretty, but they don't add

27:18

anything. No, no. There isn't a

27:20

good tasting edible flower. I think it's

27:22

shallow to eat them. It's just like, oh, beautiful. It

27:24

doesn't taste anything. I agree. It's shallow. Eat

27:27

a swede instead. Prove that you can

27:29

handle. You know, something a bit

27:32

more challenging looking. Yeah.

27:35

Oh, you don't see anymore. Like

27:39

a cow just chewing a daisy by

27:41

its stalk. Oh.

27:44

Do you? No. Why so what's happened there though?

27:46

I mean, I'm wondering if I've ever seen

27:48

that. Does that sound like a familiar thing me?

27:50

I think you have cudd. What is cudd? Yeah.

27:53

What is cudd? The

27:56

cudd. it. I am going

27:58

to go over what cudd is. mean, there's that band. Cud. Oh

28:00

yeah. I quite liked. I just think of it

28:02

chewing Cud. I mean looking back like maybe

28:04

I've seen a photo before of a bit

28:06

of a daisy coming out of a cow's

28:08

mouth. Is that what you're thinking

28:11

of? Here's what Cud is. Partially

28:13

digested food regurgitated by ruminant

28:15

animals like cows. That's disgusting.

28:17

Or is an English indie

28:20

rock band. Oh, well, there we

28:22

go. You know what cut is? But

28:24

I think that all cows in the

28:26

70s, if they were just like whiling

28:28

away the hours, they've got a daisy

28:30

hanging out of the mouth, but the

28:32

flower was the, you know, wasn't inside,

28:35

it was by the stalk. And, you

28:37

know, a bit like someone with

28:39

a toothpick. No? I'm wondering if

28:41

it was like, I don't know, like

28:43

a clear Getty's picture you saw

28:45

once. It's like really stuck in

28:48

your mind in your mind. One

28:51

more thing. Anne Gettys, not Claire

28:53

Gettys. I went to school with

28:55

Claire Gettys. You don't even know

28:57

who Anne Gettys, do you? Don't. I

28:59

feel like a Philistine. I think I've

29:02

used it. I think she mostly

29:04

did babies anyway, so... From the

29:06

independent. The Church

29:08

of England has ruled that

29:10

non-alcoholic wine and gluten-free

29:13

bread cannot be used

29:15

during holy communion. The

29:17

guidance states that the bread must

29:20

be made with wheat flour and

29:22

the wine must be fermented grape

29:24

juice to be consecrated. Do

29:26

I think about this? Go on. I think

29:28

they should chill out. You know, I think

29:31

some people get carried away with

29:33

the gluten stuff. There aren't that

29:35

many celiacs, but so what if

29:38

they do? It's making them happy.

29:40

It's not hurting anybody else. No.

29:42

You know, I don't mean to slag

29:44

off God or anything like that. I

29:47

actually don't think it's clod. I don't

29:49

mean to slag off the church. Right,

29:51

yeah. I mean, sometimes I do. You

29:53

know, sometimes they put a foot wrong

29:55

and it's important to good size these

29:57

institutions, isn't it? But...

30:00

here's what I think two things

30:02

like whenever they come up with

30:04

this idea of the communion and

30:06

bread and wine firstly whatever

30:09

bread is like now and whatever

30:11

wine is like now there's no

30:13

relation to what they were eating

30:16

drinking back then right like bread

30:18

doesn't even taste like it did

30:20

when I was a kid yeah because

30:22

it's all like sour dough and there

30:25

are so many fancy breads now. So

30:27

what that was like in the year

30:29

33 When they first, I

30:31

mean, it was unrecognizable and

30:33

I'm sure like wine just

30:35

tasted like horrible vinegary

30:38

stuff, right? So that's point

30:40

number one. You know, these things

30:42

have just evolved, don't get

30:44

stuck in like some version

30:46

from the 1950s or whatever.

30:48

Secondly, it's supposed to

30:51

be a representation, isn't it?

30:53

So anything can be a

30:56

representation of the representation of the...

30:58

body and blood of Christ. Yeah,

31:00

yeah. So why should it specifically

31:03

be? Like why can't it be

31:05

Vip Turner Jacobs Creamcracker?

31:07

Yeah, they're absolutely,

31:09

they're just the choice they made.

31:12

They could, they can stop it out.

31:14

Why can't they? Yeah, you know, if it's,

31:16

if it's, you know, if you're

31:18

not literally, if it's just

31:21

a representation, anything can represent

31:23

it. Yes. Also, I get the bit

31:25

about the blood, like the wine being

31:27

like the blood. Eshh. But when it

31:30

says the body, like which bit?

31:32

The bready bit? Yeah, like which bit

31:34

of the body is bready? Is it

31:36

supposed to be like he'd been

31:38

pomastone in his feet and it's

31:41

supposed to be like the dead

31:43

skin? Oh, because it's a bit like

31:45

that. It's like a way for his

31:47

bits, isn't it? Yeah. Is that what

31:49

it is? You never thought about that?

31:51

Well you have now. I hope we

31:54

continue to do so. Thank you. And

31:56

I hope the church does does

31:58

as well. I'm coverage

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32:36

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full terms at MintMobile.com. Okay,

33:13

quandary corner at the GLAP

33:16

Clinic, hearing problematic, Annabelle. Okay,

33:18

this is from Imperial Regent

33:21

Lindsay. What should I have done? I

33:23

have some software training and workplace

33:25

coaching through work but provided

33:27

by an external company. It's

33:29

via teams. Do you familiar with teams?

33:32

I'm not really. No, but it's like

33:34

slack or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's

33:36

via teams and I usually color code the

33:38

appointment as training in my calendar. You sound

33:40

very efficient. Do you want to take over

33:42

my life for me? On a first day

33:45

back after annual leave, I logged in and

33:47

got on with checking my emails etc. but

33:49

missed the fact I had the training session

33:51

in my calendar. Okay, don't bother with my

33:53

life anymore. I was organized as I thought

33:56

you were. I remembered late and during the

33:58

session trying to explain that I... missed it

34:00

as I hadn't changed the colour and

34:02

I'd listed him as to-do. Did I

34:05

tell this dude he was on my

34:07

to-do list? Usually I would overexplain and

34:09

make everything worse but I somehow managed

34:12

to pretend I didn't say it. I

34:14

can't go back and have been... I

34:16

can't go back and I've been signed

34:18

off work for six weeks. Was

34:21

there another option? She was joking

34:23

about that six weeks. I mean

34:25

that sounds about right to me. Well

34:27

yeah me too obviously yeah yeah yeah

34:29

yeah yeah. I don't think it's that bad.

34:31

First of all, I don't think it's that

34:33

bad. But him, I'd listen to him

34:36

as my to-do. What's wrong with telling

34:38

him when you're there on your to-do

34:40

list? He was on your to-do list.

34:42

Do you feel that we are... Oh,

34:44

is it because of like some

34:47

double untundra to-do with to-do? Oh.

34:49

I want to do you. Do you good,

34:51

baby. Oh, I don't know. I feel like we're,

34:53

um... Oh, okay, God, I'm so innocent. We're

34:55

both so innocent that we didn't

34:57

immediately grasp this. Oh, I see.

34:59

Did I tell this dude he

35:02

was on my to-do list? Gotcha.

35:04

Oh, God. Oh, God. A workplace

35:06

predator. Usually I would over-explain

35:09

make it worse, but okay. I

35:11

think you need to over-explain it,

35:13

then. I don't mean... Yeah, I

35:15

think you could have really got

35:17

yourself in a real like twist there.

35:19

I think you need to go around telling

35:21

every, using that same phrase

35:23

to everybody. Yeah, you're in my

35:26

to-do list. Yeah. Until it seems like,

35:28

oh she just says that to

35:30

everyone. Yeah, yeah. And it's not

35:32

sexual, it's just some weird tick

35:34

that she has. Oh, because actually you

35:37

can't explain it in the

35:39

context, because you know what he might

35:41

have thought, I didn't think you did,

35:43

mate. Yeah that would have been bad.

35:45

I've never heard do used in

35:48

that context because you explain it

35:50

yeah me. Anyway yeah it's good you've

35:52

been signed off for it for six

35:54

weeks and and no you can't go

35:56

back. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

35:59

yeah yeah yeah. Okay we'll leave

36:01

it there. And that

36:05

was

36:08

our

36:11

podcast,

36:14

thank

36:18

you

36:21

for

36:24

this

36:26

thing.

36:29

Explaining, I was explaining and complaining.

36:31

No, unlike Kate Moss. Yeah, never

36:33

explain, never complain. But, you know,

36:35

we really appreciate you being there

36:38

every week for us. Or, yeah,

36:40

whichever little you can manage. Yes,

36:42

you skip a week that's fine.

36:44

Totally fine. Yeah, but it's more

36:46

than how many in a year.

36:48

Is it like schools if you get

36:51

a bit of drop-ins within a certain...

36:53

I'd like to see you try and

36:55

sort of hold around the 80% if

36:57

that's okay. Thanks to Man and the

37:00

Echo for the Vacuum Music into

37:02

Emily Harrison for the music, to

37:04

Emily Harrison for the music, colour

37:06

gala, to cast photos, Kim Rainey

37:09

designed our artwork, and please do

37:11

refill our inbox, we want to

37:13

hear from you. The email address

37:16

is hello at adrift podcast.com.

37:36

Potication time in this comes

37:38

from Noble Lord Michael who says hi

37:40

Jeff and Annabelle. Hi. Your remarks

37:43

at the top of last week's

37:45

episode about animal sanctuaries caught my

37:47

ear. You mentioned only having heard

37:49

of bats and donkey sanctuaries, but

37:51

you should know that there are

37:53

also elephant sanctuaries. Ah yeah, yeah, so

37:56

I have heard of it. As I said

37:58

it I thought, this isn't right, but... through all

38:00

the animals in your head. No, it felt

38:02

like it would be lengthy. And I liked

38:04

the idea of this being an odd thing.

38:06

But, you know, I would have been perfectly

38:08

happy for it to be bats, elephants, and

38:10

donkeys. Seals. I've

38:12

been to a seal sanctuary. I'm an

38:15

idiot. I've been to one. Why did

38:17

you have to mention another one now?

38:19

I feel like three is at the limit.

38:21

Well, sorry, I can't deny the truth.

38:23

Of where it's funny to go. Is it

38:25

weird that they're only ever? Yeah. I

38:27

want you to watch it above three. Yeah,

38:29

yeah, yeah. It's stop being funny. This,

38:35

sorry, there is one near where

38:37

I live in Nashville, Tennessee,

38:39

which houses elephants who have retired

38:41

from circuses and zoos.

38:44

I really like that the

38:47

elephants are the subject and

38:49

not the object in that sentence. Like,

38:51

it was their choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm

38:54

not really sympathetic. Then I remember the one that stole my drink

38:56

that time. Oh, yeah. And I

38:59

thought, hey, something happened. It did

39:01

happen. Prove

39:04

it. My sister. Back

39:06

up. Unreliable witness. To stop

39:08

it now. Two people

39:10

remember it. There is another

39:12

in Kenya. Did you say

39:14

Kenya these days, did you? I couldn't believe what

39:16

was coming out of your mouth. What's Kenya,

39:19

isn't it? I don't think, I think Kenya's

39:21

like can anglicise pronunciations for it's a Kenya now.

39:23

so sorry. But I didn't quite commit to it the

39:25

first time round. But could be wrong. I could

39:27

be wrong. I'm going to educate myself. At

39:30

the Roteti Elephant Sanctuary, which helps

39:32

orphan young elephants learn their herd

39:34

structure before being released back into

39:37

the wild. Oh, that sounds nice.

39:39

Somebody had taught me my home

39:41

structure before releasing me into the

39:43

wild. My wife

39:45

and I had the opportunity to

39:47

visit Roteti in 2019. And

39:49

it was an amazing experience. Also,

39:52

may I have a Valentine's publication

39:54

for my wife, Casey? Oh.

39:57

We've been married for 17

39:59

years. And every day has been

40:01

better than the last. Whoa. That's

40:03

incredible. That is mind -blowing to me.

40:06

I always feel it's mostly the opposite for most people.

40:08

I don't think I

40:10

quite think that. Here's

40:12

what I never wish. Like

40:15

that I could go back in time and be in a different part

40:17

of my life. I'm

40:20

always quite, you know, I don't always like now

40:22

and I want to get through it. But

40:24

I don't want to fast forward and I don't

40:26

want to rewind. Well, that's very healthy. There's

40:29

a lot of unhealthy stuff going on up there as well. But

40:32

that's really impressive, isn't it? Every day

40:34

better than the last. Oh, hang on.

40:36

Oh, OK. Well, at least most of

40:38

the days have been better than the

40:41

previous ones. Ah, OK. After three children,

40:43

various ups and downs, changing careers and

40:45

living spaces, we are

40:47

still stuck like glue together. I'm

40:50

thinking that Huey Lewis song now. Do

40:52

you know which one? Stuck on you.

40:54

Happy to be stuck with you. Stuck

40:56

with you, yeah. On you,

40:59

stuck on you. That's a

41:01

different song. We don't

41:03

do many of the traditional things for

41:05

Valentine's Day. We're not bowing down

41:07

to big chocolate, big flower. a big flower

41:09

makes me just think of a sunflower. Or

41:12

big greeting card. That makes me think of

41:14

one of those amazing ones. Oh, they

41:16

have huge ones. Oh, no, no. The ones

41:18

like, you know, when like teenagers, like I

41:20

remember when I did my paper round on

41:22

Valentine's I had to sometimes see like at

41:24

a house, some boy had like given a

41:26

girl like one of those giant Valentine's Day cards.

41:29

The cardboard isn't enough to make them stand up

41:31

and they've got some kind of like extra

41:33

padding. Yeah. But

41:35

I think she would appreciate a publication. Well,

41:41

let's see if when

41:43

she receives this on Valentine's Day, if it's

41:45

better than the last Valentine's Day when

41:47

you got some chocolates. Yeah. I

41:51

hope she does. Yeah, I think

41:53

so. I like Casey and

41:55

Michael. They like elephants.

41:59

And anyone who likes elephants. is all right by

42:01

me. Yeah. I don't know that

42:03

much about Hannibal. Oh,

42:05

the elephant guy. Yeah, yeah. I

42:07

don't even think if he knew

42:10

like, but you know, well, I

42:12

was going to say if he knew

42:14

that like, you know, an

42:16

unimaginable amount of time

42:19

in the future. You know,

42:21

it's been like desperately trying

42:23

to cover up that I

42:25

can't quite place in. I

42:28

think he'd be really happy. He'd

42:30

just be happy that he didn't

42:32

go a long, a very long

42:34

time ago. I want to say

42:36

in those first thousand years BC,

42:38

but where? I'm going to have

42:41

to look now. But anyway, what

42:43

would you think all these years

42:45

later someone on a podcast

42:47

calling him that elephant

42:49

guy? Oh, I think he'd be really

42:51

happy. He'd just be happy that

42:54

he didn't go Hannibal

42:56

Lectter. Okay, okay, okay,

42:58

all right. I'm surprised

43:00

by that. What was this

43:02

year? He was born in

43:04

147 BC. Okay. Tunisia?

43:07

Mm. Died? Oh, he died? I

43:09

just had shot. In

43:11

Bithynia? Where? It's not

43:13

going anymore, that is

43:15

it? I mean, I have... They've

43:18

got to keep up with

43:20

someone on the Eurovision Summer

43:22

from one year to another.

43:24

Like what's going on with

43:26

Montenegro sometimes? I might be

43:28

out of date with that, but...

43:30

What? Bithynia? What? I know

43:32

as a middle-aged man I am

43:34

supposed to be obsessed with all

43:37

things Roman, but I just don't know.

43:39

Oh yeah! To my shame, I don't

43:41

know this stuff. There we go, the

43:43

Roman Republic, I think it's

43:45

pre-date, pre-date. the Roman Empire

43:48

perhaps. Well I had him hundreds

43:50

of years out. Right I couldn't

43:52

even made a guess to be honest.

43:54

Was it? Not even close about

43:57

the old elephant guy. We

44:00

get back to the email now,

44:02

I've got too many tabs open.

44:04

Thank you and keep up the

44:06

fair to middle in work. Noble,

44:09

Lord Michael. You're welcome.

44:11

I hope the two of you

44:13

have a lovely Valentine's

44:15

Day. Yes, happy Valentine's

44:18

Day. Maybe as well as

44:20

this podcast you could listen

44:22

some romantic music.

44:24

Any suggestions? Hmm. Hot

44:26

chocolate. The

44:29

sweet voice of Errol

44:31

Brown. Everyone's a winner. Yeah,

44:33

yeah, okay, great. I was just

44:36

going to say Hugh Lewis

44:38

is stuck on you, but like,

44:40

I'm with you, sorry. All right,

44:42

happy Valentine's Day,

44:44

you too. Noble Lord Michael,

44:46

a noble Lady Casey. If

44:48

you'd like a podication

44:51

email us, it's hello

44:53

at a drift podcast.com.

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