0:01

Oh my god, welcome to adulting.

0:03

I just want to make sure that everybody is turning

0:06

their taxes.

0:07

Oh my god. First of all, I'm showing

0:09

So that's Jordan Carlos. You're coming in hot. You're

0:11

coming in like the H and R Block accountant,

0:15

the employee of a fucking week. And instead

0:17

of like actual tax receipts, you just

0:20

want like emotional receipts. You're like, how we feeling?

0:23

What's going on? Give me your invoices? Like

0:25

I can tell you.

0:26

I can see you as the guy at the office who's

0:28

just high fiving a lot and has like personal

0:31

handshakes with people.

0:32

Excuse me, you know I'm the personality higher.

0:34

That is who I am. I have

0:37

soft skills. You think I can do an Excel spreadsheet?

0:39

Absolutely nut, But I look like it. Let

0:41

me get my classes hot.

0:42

Oh my god, here we go.

1:00

This is what I learned about, like even getting glasses watching

1:02

him. Yes, on stage, you gotta

1:04

wipe the fingerprints off. Oh yeah, and they

1:06

can steam up. I learned

1:08

a lot of glasses etiquette through you.

1:11

Yes, you have to wipe

1:13

them daily. They can't steam

1:15

up.

1:16

Winter's tough for the glass bespectacled

1:18

people you probably if you're single

1:20

and in glasses, most likely you will

1:22

not date other people of your own race.

1:26

That's other people with glasses.

1:27

Have you ever kissed somebody with glasses on and then you

1:29

had glasses on?

1:31

I have.

1:32

It's like people bumping into each other

1:34

in a biology lab. It's really

1:36

not good. It's not sexy at all. It

1:39

just sounds like it just makes the sound like Warby

1:41

Parker every time me to try

1:43

to get in there.

1:45

It's so bad. It's so bad.

1:47

And then I have clear glasses

1:50

and I take them off and put them down, can't

1:52

find them ever. It's just really it's so bad.

1:54

God, right, you need like rainbow

1:57

frames or something.

1:59

Yeah.

2:00

You know, when I travel and I see

2:02

black people, especially black women

2:04

with freckles, we always look at each other.

2:07

It is an emotional high five with our eyes. It

2:10

is like I see you, I see you know, I'll see you. What

2:12

the dermatologists every year says, okay,

2:14

okay, cause it's just like a thing, like

2:17

it's a wonderful thing that like not everybody has in common.

2:19

Now, do you ever run into when you are traveling,

2:21

a nerdy black man with classes and you're just like

2:23

of course of course.

2:24

Yeah, we're like like we see each other, you

2:27

know. I mean it's it feels

2:29

like, you know, like oh, another black inventor.

2:31

You know what I'm saying. It just get that kind

2:33

of like feeling like oh it's Lewis Latimer

2:35

or like, you know, we're

2:41

in the key in Michael Key society.

2:43

What the fuck?

2:44

Always yes, I feel like a approachable

2:46

black guy who cannot stop moving

2:49

society.

2:50

Oh my god, the energy on that one.

2:52

If if I'm ever going to go to a zumba class

2:55

top by a black man, it better be King

2:57

and Michael Key, because I am He's got the moves

2:59

like Jagger. He's always enthusiastic,

3:03

like more switchers like him, so

3:05

enthusiastic. Which and I really loved King

3:07

Peele, and I miss King Peel, and I do miss like

3:10

good sketch, and I do love

3:12

what Robin Thedi did. Like you know, it's

3:15

very hard to get black women on TV, and so

3:17

yeah, like she did for five seasons. She's

3:20

amazing in some good ass community. Speaking

3:22

of good community, you know she loves a

3:24

little jump off our guests.

3:26

You love a pivot, I do.

3:29

It's the Ryan Seacrest in me our

3:32

guest for this episode. Yeah,

3:34

she plays my roommate in Survival

3:37

The Thickest Season one. She's amazing.

3:39

She's a longtime friend in comedy.

3:42

Yes, she's part of the comedy community again.

3:44

Can't say enough about her character Jade

3:48

and her top titty meet. Please

3:50

everybody enjoy this episode

3:52

which.

3:53

He's a trigger.

4:00

I'm not a good dancer. Stuff. She's

4:06

got potential. No, no, I

4:08

don't fe don't fail

4:10

me now, I mean, don't fail me

4:13

now. It's it's

4:16

it's a it's a beautiful fuck?

4:19

Is that is that? Amos?

4:21

Joy? Bitch? Oh?

4:26

I just give him my heels. That's all you do?

4:27

You really do. It's I'm waiting for the

4:29

finger to pop out.

4:32

I'm waiting for I could I could easily like

4:34

kick back a soccer ball with this pop

4:37

right pop to that guy?

4:38

No problem?

4:39

Oh my god. You know what I love too that my kids

4:41

love to dance. It's so important. Yeah,

4:44

I just put on like reggae music or

4:47

you know, compacal Haitian music.

4:48

Oh wow, yeah, does what is what

4:51

does otis do? Does he do like the light foot? Like?

4:52

What what's he doing? The hot foot? What is that called?

4:55

They know what it's called, because oh

4:59

are you talking how much of making dances?

5:01

Yeah, yeah, that kind of shit.

5:02

I don't know.

5:02

I don't know the differences.

5:05

We don't know much.

5:06

Did you grow up line dancing? You just had

5:09

you were just like no feelings. Yeah,

5:11

like yeah, there's some of that stiff denim

5:14

cowboy boots.

5:15

Oh yeah, we had pekos, things like

5:17

that, pegas west wing boots.

5:18

Yes, it was like footloose. But with black people.

5:24

There is the MLK Day rodeo, which is

5:26

a beautiful thing. It's a black

5:28

rodeo because we invented rodeo. But then, like, you

5:30

know, white people are like, it's ours. Why do you guys

5:32

get quiet like that?

5:34

They're learning, they're taking I was like, what's

5:37

happened, because there's like one person

5:39

from Dallas. She's tired of screaming. I

5:41

know, she can't keep screaming

5:43

every time drops. I'm about

5:45

Texas.

5:46

Yeah, while ticket,

5:49

Yeah, one in four cowboys back in the day

5:51

were black. The term cowboy

5:53

comes from the fact that the boy was a slur for

5:56

black men, So black men working with cows

5:58

were called thank you,

6:00

welcome to my ted.

6:01

Talking all right, I

6:04

didn't Yeah, so Yeah, it was really

6:06

nice. Yeah, really connected

6:08

with everyone. I know they're

6:10

like talk about behind that. They're

6:15

definitely gonna take that home with them and repeat that

6:17

story.

6:18

Oh sure, no it's true. No,

6:20

it's all good, it's all good.

6:21

I love it. I loved a little fun.

6:22

Oh I got love. I love my little Lroy just

6:24

and glasses. No it's

6:27

any any black history and I love his like.

6:29

Little Texas saying, because I'm like, what

6:31

the fuck is that. We were in a meeting

6:33

one time and everyone wants just talking

6:35

a lot of shit. I ain't know what they were saying.

6:37

It was circles. Like when people talk in circles,

6:39

they want to hear themselves talking them have anything to say. I

6:41

just wait for something that I can hold on to. It's

6:44

like, you know, arguing with a drunk person. I'm

6:46

like, where is this going? And then Jordan

6:48

just goes. It feels like everyone's just biting

6:50

around a cookie. And I was like, what I

6:53

did say that earlier?

6:56

I heard, Yeah, eating around the cookie

6:58

just means you're not getting to it, you know what I'm

7:00

saying.

7:00

That's like, get you're all you know, you're

7:03

all hat and no horse like

7:05

you just.

7:11

Yeah, what are we talking about.

7:12

No, it's just these are just parlances

7:15

that come to you, you know.

7:15

Yeah, I love that for you. Yeah, what's the

7:17

thing, what's that? What's that thing you said at that

7:20

little public school meeting?

7:22

Oh yeah I said that.

7:24

So it was like this this guy was trying to push through

7:26

a curriculum and uh, it was not cool.

7:28

And so he's like, oh no, but it's gonna work with

7:30

the old curriculum until I was like, man, you're trying

7:32

to ride two horses with one ass right there, and.

7:37

That's one dog that ain't gonna hunt, but

7:40

in front of all the teachers, in front of.

7:42

The teachers, and they and like they get like he

7:44

he was like, I'm just trying to process what you were

7:46

saying, and like fuck off, you

7:48

know, Like I just I

7:50

feel like I feel like a Southern parlance can

7:52

really cut to the chase. Like northern provinces

7:55

are good. I had to learn northern

7:57

provinces. Northern provinces are tough, you know. Like

7:59

it's like like you go to a deli,

8:01

Yeah, you make you get your order some behind you

8:04

like he did you already order? And you're like

8:06

I'm all set. Well, the first time somebody

8:08

said, like, are you all set? I was like, like,

8:12

you all said, just means I had never heard

8:14

that before. So like hearing that,

8:17

yeah, yeah, we don't say that down South, okay.

8:18

Yeah.

8:19

Yeah.

8:19

So it's like you all said, you know that that ye

8:22

through me and that you

8:24

got you got this.

8:25

I love that. Yeah, I love that one. Yeah.

8:27

Never this Okay,

8:29

you're good. Not everybody, you're good.

8:32

That's not. We don't say that down South, that you

8:34

should. It's very the guns come out, that's

8:38

like you good, you good? You good?

8:43

Yeah? Absolutely never never,

8:45

but y'all say in Ohio, y'all say

8:47

anything to each other.

8:48

It's more it's more southern, so a lot of the stuff that he's

8:50

saying, but with less horses and cowboy hats.

8:53

Oh I've been

8:55

Ohio, but I don't remember.

8:57

Yeah, it's it's pretty similar to Texas.

9:00

And it's parlance, is it, Yeah,

9:02

because people from Ohio have come from the South.

9:04

That's where they came from.

9:05

This you want to hear from New York makes

9:09

some noise. If you're from West Coast, oh

9:13

Lost the bitches standing make

9:17

some noise. If you're from the middle

9:21

Where in the middle Iowa

9:24

Iowa ship. I'm so glad you got

9:26

out.

9:27

That is like white Wakanda, that is where

9:30

that's where they come from.

9:34

Oh my god, if your car breaks down in Iowa,

9:36

there's no landmarks.

9:38

You guys must have been really happy for GPS.

9:41

No white Wakanda. I know you just

9:43

make a left on unpaved road. I'm like, oh

9:45

what, and then children at the corner going right

9:48

here. It's true. Anybody

9:51

else from the middle work,

10:00

I knew that, we knew that. The Bronx,

10:03

Yes, the Bronx was

10:06

ahead well, seventeen bridges

10:08

from Canada. It is so crazy.

10:11

The Bronx is always front row and they always

10:13

talked to like, yeah what you said, Mama, Okay,

10:17

you.

10:17

Got it, you got it. I

10:20

love it. I love it. I love Brokelyn

10:22

and I love the Bronx. I just love a community, like,

10:24

yes I do. I do. My

10:28

sorry. My brother in law came to

10:30

visit us God

10:33

for editing purposes, and I

10:35

took him in the Dumbo House because

10:38

I was like, you just need to see bougie black bullshit.

10:41

Okay, let's go, and

10:43

he was just like, wow, it's so much and

10:46

I was like, what he's like, community, I said, Okay,

10:48

that's good. What

10:51

do you want to say?

10:53

It's cultural. I've heard that one before. Yeah,

10:55

yeah, the culture. It's very cultural in

10:57

here, ethnic

11:00

spices.

11:01

He shut the fuck up today in

11:04

Dutch, like, I don't know if y'all saw my special,

11:06

but truly, the Dutch word for

11:09

look is kike. No k

11:11

i jk It's cake. And so the first

11:14

time I ever heard my mother in law name

11:16

Hanukah.

11:20

So fun.

11:23

Say this word, we were taking a family picture

11:25

and she's like, kike the camera and

11:29

I was like, honikah, fix it. That's

11:33

a real ass story. And no one,

11:36

no one in Holland has ever heard of this. And

11:38

so when I did that joke in my special Welcome

11:40

to Utopia, available on Epix right now, the

11:44

Critics Choice Award winning special,

11:48

it made it to like the Dutch like late night

11:50

news, like their daily show, and they're

11:52

like Jimmy, basic white men named

11:54

Jimmy. Late night shows definitely

11:59

not had any that out. They could know that they know already,

12:06

but yeah, they were like, oh my goodness, comedian

12:08

brings up a good point. I'm like, your fucking

12:10

thick.

12:13

They never heard of that.

12:14

No, because this is what happens when you trust

12:17

men.

12:19

Right.

12:19

Anyways, you guys are ready for more show on him?

12:24

Are you ready? I'm so excited. I'm

12:27

so excited. She is amazing.

12:29

She is a hilarious comedian

12:31

also going on tour. Check her the fuck

12:33

out. She also had a hilarious part

12:36

and a very fun show Survival. She

12:41

played a kooky, fucking roommate named

12:43

Jade who

12:46

had a cat named Cocaine. Who had a cat

12:48

named Cocaine. Go figure, Yes,

12:50

please give it up for my friend and yours, Liz.

13:10

He's a tracker who

13:14

Hello, you're back

13:16

in New York. Back chairs?

13:18

Yes, we got wait, there

13:20

got what you need? This isn't nice. I

13:23

was expecting sitting on a high stool.

13:25

This is a back Yeah.

13:27

No, not when you got all this top titty meet you need

13:29

like a good chair exactly

13:32

how I ruined the whole

13:35

energy. I'm so sorry, but our

13:37

chairs are better than yours, and that's

13:39

that. How

13:41

are you, friends?

13:43

I'm thriving, I'm feeling good. I

13:45

feel really happy. I did just move back to New York from

13:47

LA.

13:48

And you did the right thing.

13:49

You did the right thing, and I just

13:52

am so excited. I'm so

13:54

happy I don't know what else to say. I don't

13:56

know I should be clever and make you laugh, but I just

13:58

a'm feeling.

13:59

I feel like I have. First of all, you're hilarious

14:01

and truthful. I don't know which one comes first.

14:04

I guess it's truthful. Yeah, I

14:06

tried to be Yeah, well to

14:09

me, you've been I don't know by anybody else. Yeah.

14:11

No, I did something bad recently where someone came up to talk

14:13

to me and I went, you don't do that because he had dressing

14:15

on his lips, and

14:18

then he was really embarrassed.

14:19

But you can't.

14:20

You can't have white sauce on your lips and talked

14:23

Yeah, others, but he's

14:26

he felt sad, you

14:29

know, or just a stranger. I'm

14:31

a colleague, I would say, a colleague, colleague.

14:33

It's important.

14:34

I started switching the way my

14:36

vocabulary because I have a friend who always says, oh,

14:38

that's my friend, and then you learn, oh,

14:40

that's actually not your friend, that's an acquaintance,

14:43

and I don't trust you anymore. So now I've been

14:45

very clear where you stand in my life. Yeah,

14:49

okay, because she's like, oh,

14:51

my friend works there, and I'm like, well, can your friend get us

14:53

in and she's like, well, i'd feel weird messaging. I'm

14:55

like, that's not your friend. Then, so changed

14:57

the category.

14:59

That's a person.

15:01

Everybody changed your guy category

15:05

to the person that you came with.

15:08

Or I say friendly, Oh no, we're

15:10

friendly.

15:11

Yeah yeah yeah,

15:14

or I like them. But if I can't

15:16

ask you whatever I want, you're not my friend, you're

15:19

co people.

15:20

Yeah I get that. Yeah that's cool.

15:22

Yeah, so many, so many questions,

15:24

three of them. You answer whichever one you want first.

15:26

Okay, Uh, dating, I want to

15:28

get to it because we try to get

15:30

to dating. When we were on the show, like

15:32

we were working on my show, we were Miked.

15:35

I asked you, like how

15:37

dating was, and like what type of person you're

15:39

dating? And you said the most hilarious thing, Mike, And I

15:42

don't know if I can't repeat it. What did I say?

15:44

It was about like between men, like between the difference

15:46

between men and women. What did I say? I

15:48

can't wait? Can I tell you? Yeah?

15:51

I was like, are you dating women

15:53

still? And you were like, I

15:56

want to, but I miss come too much. Oh

15:58

yeah, it's like funny.

16:01

Yeah, but the best part is that we're all

16:03

Mike, so I see everyone. It

16:10

was the best, It was the best. I would

16:12

be so good on real housewives. I would ruin a family.

16:15

That's the best.

16:17

I would really hot mic moment. I

16:19

would like to just be dating anyone. I'm really

16:21

like, stop, I'm

16:24

stopped. I'm stunted. I don't know what to do.

16:26

Okay, you didn't ask.

16:27

You said I'd have a choice between three questions, and you

16:29

stopped on the come question.

16:32

And gave me not one other option. What

16:35

are the other two? I guess the other one was. I

16:37

just feel like getting comed on so degrading, and I

16:39

like it, like

16:42

on your body or your face, my face, my

16:44

body, my body, my tits. I have really good

16:46

tits. I have really good tits, and it's like a waste not

16:48

to come on them. I think, yeah, yeah,

16:52

these are your words, and I

16:56

agree. I agree. Like

16:58

use it as a little vachina to do whatever you gotta

17:00

do.

17:00

Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it is

17:02

hard for you know, someone

17:04

to.

17:06

Aim, aim, climb

17:09

the salmon ladder, so to speak up to someone's

17:11

yah.

17:14

I guess they're not that athletic. I'm

17:19

not, and that's why my wife loves

17:21

me. But it

17:23

was that story. The other one was, what's it like,

17:25

are you internet dating? What is that like? Is that crazy?

17:28

And the third thing was the

17:30

last time you did the show

17:32

was like twenty seventeen, eighteen, when we weren't even

17:34

a podcast, we were just a show in Union Hall and

17:36

you told this crazy fucking story about

17:39

getting arrested or almost getting arrested.

17:41

Yeah, And I was like, have you

17:45

And so I just want to know has there been any run

17:48

ins with the law, especially in that lakes.

17:50

I feel like they like to fuck with you. No,

17:53

I've been behaving very well all over

17:55

this country.

17:57

I will I

18:00

I will, I will fly out of the country

18:02

with maybe drugs. But in

18:05

terms of behaving, I've not had any

18:07

run ins with the law.

18:08

Well, yeah, none at all. I've been

18:10

really behaved.

18:12

It was all under the age of twenty one, which I feel

18:14

doesn't count, you know what I mean, Sure,

18:17

because you're just drinking.

18:18

Being crazy, But if you're underage, that's a

18:20

crime.

18:21

But it's like, come on,

18:23

you know what I mean, Like I'm gonna

18:25

get drunk at nineteen and punched

18:27

through a fire extinguisher glass like you

18:30

do.

18:30

Now you did that, I did.

18:32

I'm more powerful than you would think. Yeah, I

18:34

am was there a fire?

18:37

No, I am boy like

18:40

water for chocolate?

18:41

Just so many questions. I just.

18:45

Yes, there was a fire within her body.

18:48

So I know that was got say. You

18:50

know, it's the book, it's the story. It's

18:53

always about the half black sis, so that nobody

18:55

understands anyways, Well,

18:57

there's one reader in this, so

19:00

two people would.

19:01

It was a book from the nineties that got turned into a movie.

19:03

And then it was like, uh, I remember one

19:05

like she's having sex, and I remember this so well.

19:08

It was like I was like, have water or

19:10

water for chocolate. I was like, let me see this.

19:11

I heard there was sex in it, you know, because back then you'd

19:13

have to like search like through the desert

19:16

for sex. And

19:18

and so I'm like, there's a part like she gets it

19:20

on and it's like she gets wet, but it's all it's

19:23

it's magical realism because it's Mexican. So

19:25

uh yeah,

19:28

and I stand by this ship

19:31

and it's magical realism. And

19:33

so she's so wet she floods the entire

19:35

kitchen and I was like, is that sex?

19:39

I was like, oh my god, I don't know if I

19:41

want any part of this.

19:43

So that's what she meant.

19:44

Yeah, you should see the movie. Yeah.

19:46

They also I remember someone in school

19:48

saying Sophie's choice was a bunch of sex.

19:50

And even if that like it doesn't

19:52

seem worth it, you know, but I

19:55

remember that was like the gossip and trickery

19:58

of the playground.

20:00

Yeah, twelve Years of Slave.

20:01

I watched it for the music, Okay, Right,

20:05

as a kid, you don't know what you're getting yourself into.

20:07

You're like, yeah, I'll get it. I remember that vivid

20:10

name. Yeah. Can I ask how? No,

20:12

I'm thirty six. I love this. I

20:14

love this age. I did you. I'm

20:17

excited. Yeah, what are you excited about? Well?

20:20

I've been repeating the same mistakes

20:22

for about twenty four years, so

20:27

so now I think I'm finally

20:29

ready to rid those habits.

20:31

Yeah, that have been serving me.

20:33

I just met with a new therapist yesterday that she

20:37

specializes in immigrant

20:39

generational trauma.

20:41

Shit.

20:41

Yeah, so I'm gonna get through my like weird

20:44

hoarding and thinking there's a war but

20:46

there could be soon. But yeah, yeah,

20:49

so that's that's why I think there's more excitement

20:52

moving.

20:54

I have come Munich. I've learned.

20:55

I've just learned a lot and I'm I finally have realized

20:58

that I have to

21:00

some of these habits, and I'm gonna do it with

21:02

this therapist hopefully. Her name's Violet, though, which

21:04

makes me not trust her. You

21:06

know,

21:11

Violet's an immature name.

21:14

I mean, Jennifer Garner and Ben

21:16

Affleck's daughter's name Violet. I wouldn't

21:18

go to her for therapy either. Have

21:25

you met Jennifer Garner? No, I

21:27

haven't. She seems very nice. I like

21:29

her jaw. Yeah,

21:31

absolutely, she's got a strong john. She's

21:34

got a good sense about it. She's like she does a lot of squaps.

21:36

Oh no, she works out every single day. Yeah,

21:39

I don't know about that. No, I don't.

21:41

I heard about it. No for me, Oh yeah,

21:43

I don't know about that.

21:44

For me.

21:45

Every day, like you know, I feel

21:47

like life is that is? That's

21:49

enough.

21:50

Yeah, you have to your hope. You're picking up kid.

21:52

Yeah, you're doing a lot. You are very You're very

21:54

busy, and I'm very physically active

21:56

all day you know. Yeah, like I got.

21:58

Two dogs, two kids too. It's an

22:00

emotional nose art. Yeah,

22:04

you've been to the meat ball party. You fucking get it.

22:06

Oh yeah, you have a lot of land, and

22:08

but I don't think you do it right.

22:10

Yeah, no, I got a lot of land. The house. Negro done

22:12

bought the house. But yeah,

22:14

I don't. I think Jordan should speak next.

22:17

I'm

22:19

listening. I like this, not following that.

22:21

I picked my moment. It's

22:24

about you.

22:25

You've you've moved to Can we say

22:27

like the village in the.

22:29

Village because okay, the nightmares of

22:31

my New York journey, I got carbon monoxide poison

22:33

and Crown Heights.

22:34

So that that had happen to me.

22:36

I also last time I lived here, I had a building

22:39

super climbing through my bedroom window on a ladder

22:41

and he spied on me. Yes,

22:44

but it wasn't a crime because he didn't jerk off her videotape

22:47

remember that, Yeah, all right, not

22:51

to encourage people. And so I got

22:53

an a tax It different at the wild shit happened

22:55

to me all over the city. And now I'm

22:58

I've exposed brick, you know, like

23:02

I know that for you, Yeah, yeah,

23:04

I love that for you. Yeah

23:08

no, but I haven't radio. It

23:11

is wild to have really immigranted parents because

23:13

living in New York or being like an artist living

23:15

or truth it like they

23:17

don't get it because when I was young, I

23:19

lived in my friend's pantry so I could do comedy

23:21

in Chicago and it was two hundred dollars and my parents

23:24

wouldn't even visit the They're like, how we

23:26

have a home. Why would you sleep in a pantry,

23:28

And so they're really disgusted that I have a radiator.

23:31

Again, they're like, they don't understand

23:33

it.

23:33

My parents are the same way and after because they're from Jamaica

23:35

and Haiti. And have to remind them that you

23:38

were brave enough and crazy enough to leave everything

23:40

and everyone you knew to

23:43

go find another life that you didn't even know if it was gonna

23:45

better. You didn't know if it was gonna work out. You were just like, I have to do

23:47

this. And I'm like, so I have that in me. I'm

23:49

taking a chance on me now because I'm

23:52

from you. That's I got it from you. And so

23:54

they're just like, please keep another job. And

23:56

so

23:58

so I were. I did overnights doing

24:01

editing the news for six years while I was doing

24:03

stand up you know what I mean? So what

24:05

do you wish for yourself? What do you really want and wish

24:07

for yourself? This see hear in next year is a thirty six

24:10

year old just fucking figuring it

24:12

out doing it in New York City.

24:14

You figured a lot of stuff out.

24:17

Answer this question, You're like, it's

24:20

just a lot, but my life skills are okay. My goal

24:22

is to stay at my apartment to a place where, like I can host

24:24

people and do little pre games before we go

24:27

out. So I'd like to be able to have like

24:29

a mach you know, like, oh, stop buy, I'll

24:31

host energy. I

24:33

would like to be getting fuckedor

24:36

in love more often. I'd

24:38

like to be seeing more celebrities.

24:40

Actor and love, like fucked by someone you

24:42

love, were just fucked.

24:44

Good sex, Yeah, like good sex.

24:47

It could be loose, it doesn't have to be love.

24:50

But I would like love you.

24:53

The things you clap out are interesting, and I like that

24:57

cause you you really, you really.

25:00

I liked her working overnights at the office.

25:02

You did you clapped at that. They're both in news,

25:05

And then.

25:05

You really like good sex and working

25:07

hard all night, And that's.

25:11

No professionally.

25:12

I just want to keep growing, working, having fun, just

25:14

enjoying myself.

25:15

More celebrities, I think is what you're walking.

25:18

Yeah, ten thousand said I'd like to get all

25:20

my steps in, you

25:22

know, not yeah, not

25:25

smoke weed every day all day. I think that's

25:27

that should be top. But I don't

25:29

want to make a goal I'm gonna fail at.

25:31

So that's

25:34

right, manage expectations.

25:35

And I'm going to the Eras Tour November

25:37

twenty first.

25:38

So

25:40

i'd like seeing it. An outfit going, an

25:43

outfit going. I love this. Okay,

25:45

we're gonna ask some questions from the audience here we

25:47

go. How do you say no

25:49

to being in someone's bridal party?

25:53

Well, it depends what the reason is, right

25:55

or you have to make it up, because if you don't

25:57

like the person, you don't want to be their friend.

25:58

That's different than like, hey girl, I can't afford it, or

26:00

I'm studying for the bar, like I

26:02

don't have time.

26:04

As different than oh I actually

26:06

hate you, your family, your friends, and I don't want

26:08

to be around you as shit. There

26:11

just different. Why don't you want to be in it? You're poor?

26:14

Or you hater?

26:15

I mean, I think or maybe there's a third reason.

26:17

I'm not thinking. I think the third reason for me

26:23

would be the emotional time

26:25

commitment, because now you're gonna be someone's therapist

26:27

for that whole fucking ride. They're gonna come

26:29

to you with shit that you don't fucking have time

26:31

for. You just want to show up to a party with an open

26:34

bar, take some pitches and leave, and

26:36

now you gotta be in it. Like oh the flowers,

26:39

okay, they're petals. Oh the chairs, everyone's

26:41

sitting like nobody really

26:44

gives a fuck. And so I feel like, you know,

26:46

asking someone to be in your bridal party is

26:48

really asking them to be your therapist during

26:51

a stressful party. Say no, I guess how do you

26:54

say no? Do you want the person in your life

26:56

still or not? I mean, obviously,

26:59

if they're close enough to be in the bridal party, how

27:01

do you say no?

27:02

Hopefully then the bride is close enough to be

27:04

like, I get it, but let's

27:06

not be delusional.

27:09

I think for me, i'd be like, I can't

27:11

do this, but I'll do this right. Read

27:13

a poem?

27:15

Yeah, like I'll do a speech, or you

27:17

could do like a like ushering is is

27:19

good?

27:19

You remember, oh ship, we need ushers? So

27:22

ushers?

27:23

Uh that seems like a thing

27:25

that's in movies that isn't real.

27:27

No, No, there were there

27:29

were as we stay down South users and

27:32

you needed them.

27:33

You needed them, you really did, and they usually need them.

27:35

Yeah.

27:36

Yeah, the people, all the people in the wedding needed because people

27:38

were like, where you go, it's

27:41

going.

27:42

People still get married. Jesus Christ.

27:45

I'm just kidding. Congratulations, Yes, here

27:50

we go.

27:50

How early is too early to be on prescription acid

27:52

reflux meds?

27:57

Okay to ask.

28:00

I didn't write that question.

28:02

I just started suffering from acid reflex

28:05

And you know what I did? Well, they say like, don't eat

28:07

and then go to bed, and it's like, okay, let's be

28:09

realistic with the advice.

28:12

You're not eating taco bell in the day.

28:15

You know. It's like I

28:19

did do something crazy in New York.

28:21

I bought a temperpeeding matrics with a base that

28:23

moves so I can press a button

28:27

and I could sleep like this, so it

28:30

moves. That is

28:32

most adul't think I've ever heard.

28:36

That's amazing. Let work.

28:38

Yeah, oh my god, Like I'll go out like

28:41

uh yeah, after a long day of walking

28:43

out like I'll pick up my legs.

28:44

It's really crazy. I

28:47

want one. Oh yeah. The guy sold it. He goes, you don't

28:49

have to stack your pillows anymore. I go you

28:51

got me? I go, you got me?

28:53

Yeah?

28:54

Bro, fuck I have so many

28:56

pillows. But I think it's not you.

28:58

It's like it sucks because it stops you for drinking

29:01

eating, like like it stops you from joy.

29:03

And but I don't know what the side effects are.

29:05

Yeah, you know, but I heard

29:07

like, okay, so you know people drink coffee.

29:09

It's like the caffeine actually loosens

29:11

up the flap above the stomach, which gives you

29:13

acid reflux.

29:14

That happens.

29:15

But you can also take like aniseed or

29:17

like you know, licorice.

29:20

Licorice is good after a drink.

29:22

But I love coffee.

29:24

Yeah, so yeah, I mean.

29:25

Why I can't drink like a margarita is

29:28

just one sip of fire between.

29:29

My titties or

29:31

ginger ale like ginger something like that that can

29:33

help you at night. Like just trying to help you have

29:36

this moment for yourself, for you where you don't take prescription.

29:39

Just take the fucking pill and go have a burrito, like

29:41

whatever. It just

29:43

happends on the side effects. It really does.

29:45

The side effects.

29:46

You feel uncomfortable, all right, but like

29:48

would you rather have ascid reflux or diarrhea?

29:51

The age old question question.

29:58

The next question is

30:01

is would you rather, okay, now does a guy?

30:04

Does a guy have to be taller than a

30:06

girl? I'm five foot

30:08

nine and a girl.

30:10

Oh, I think it's all preference, but I

30:13

am hugging a tall man feels

30:15

different and it's nice. Sorry,

30:18

oh shit, I

30:20

don't date tall men, but I've hugged them

30:22

because they're might.

30:23

Like I hugged a writer on the show, Solomon

30:25

Georgio.

30:26

I hugged him a few weeks ago when I went, this just

30:28

feels better, Like it just felt

30:32

so nice.

30:33

Like a timperpedic mattress for a hug.

30:35

Yeah. Yeah,

30:37

that's sleep number, but it doesn't matter.

30:40

Yeah. Yeah, I think it's chemistry because

30:43

and sometimes, you know, sometimes.

30:44

It's really cool when you see a sexy model and she has

30:46

like her arm on her boyfriend's.

30:47

Shoulder like that, Like that's okay, I

30:50

like that. Yeah he likes

30:52

that too. Yeah,

30:55

the bronx. But I don't

30:57

know, like I've did old time cement and it's

31:00

just the way they like handle me, Like

31:02

get in there are you guys

31:04

talking about it? They have broke out in conversation.

31:08

Finally, finally, we need to normalize

31:11

this conversation. They're

31:13

tall, but they're not all tall.

31:15

They're big boys, but not.

31:16

In all the right way.

31:17

It's us.

31:18

Wait the people at the bar. I don't know if you heard,

31:20

but Sis said, just because they're tall, don't mean they

31:22

got a big dick and their knees

31:24

hurt. They they grew too fast. Well

31:26

also, okay, no, this sounds crazy now

31:28

it just this, but this

31:31

is crazy, but listen, it

31:34

is. It is what Lisa was saying. It is a preference

31:37

because some people are not size

31:39

queens. Some people don't need big dicks, some

31:42

people do, like you know what I mean. So it's

31:44

like, really, a what's the question

31:47

again?

31:49

It's I'm five ft nine and we were.

31:51

Just talking about this back that all the most

31:53

of the actors were were like, oh,

31:55

they're so hot. They're all sure, they're

31:57

all five to five, like all the people we have crushed.

32:01

The question was the question I tossed it.

32:02

But the question was should I only strictly date

32:05

people that are over five foot nine? The person questioning

32:07

was a woman who is over five foot nine

32:09

and wondered should she give I

32:11

guess people under five foot

32:14

nine a try?

32:15

You know, can you pay for your meal and go down

32:17

on you. That's the question

32:20

I would be asking. Also closer to

32:22

your crotch. So it's like they

32:24

reached the things they supposed Yeah, win win, Next

32:27

question, look at us figuring it out? You guys? Are

32:34

we figuring it out? How do I introduce

32:36

my partner to kinks?

32:38

How do you introduce your partner to king?

32:40

How do I introduce my partner to my kinks?

32:42

Yes, she

32:45

said porn hub. Okay, okay, I

32:47

heard corn on the cob and

32:52

that's what I heard, And I was

32:55

like, whoa, wow?

32:57

What is introducing your

33:00

partner to kinks? I don't know how long you've been together.

33:02

Are y'all still talking about dicks? God damn they

33:04

are.

33:05

They've broken into a small it's

33:07

a breakout through, gonna have a and

33:10

then they will decide there will be a vote. They'll be like,

33:12

we have voted that doll men don't necessarily

33:14

have big dicks, and so says I.

33:17

The resolution has passed. Yes, all

33:19

right, kinks? How

33:22

do you in Japa to what kind of kink? I

33:24

mean, if you want someone to shut in your chest, don't

33:26

tell anybody you know. I

33:35

agree. Cleveland

33:38

Steamer whoa

33:41

or are you gonna pay an es school? You can pay a dominated

33:44

tricks? I mean, yeah,

33:46

kinks could be anything, right. All

33:50

I'm saying is your partner should

33:52

be a safe space. Okay. So whether

33:55

it is over drinks or whether it's

33:57

in bed and you're whispering it, just

34:01

say it and it's okay.

34:04

Just fucking say it.

34:05

Okay.

34:05

If they're not into it or they judge you, then

34:07

they're not the one for you, and

34:09

that's the bigger question. Or they can

34:12

you know, you can do it with someone else. The

34:14

one weird thing, you know, what's

34:17

you know what?

34:17

Maybe sometimes place an

34:19

atmosphere, you know, it

34:21

helps things along, Like if you were on vacation it's

34:23

some sexy spot and you're like, this is.

34:25

What I'm really into. This is what blows my half ropuffs

34:28

back.

34:28

Then that's when

34:30

you do it, you know. Or you can go to a sex party

34:33

so that way you're in that.

34:34

Yeah, the love of your life says I'm not into

34:36

that. Do you do you just leave them?

34:38

Or what do you do?

34:39

No?

34:39

I don't think you just leave them.

34:46

This question is wild. How do

34:48

I go into the men's sauna for the first time?

34:52

Okay? What are you looking for in

34:55

the men's sun?

34:56

Did you leave your phone in there?

34:58

Like?

34:58

What's the fun?

35:00

Boldly? Boldly? I

35:03

mean you've never been in a sauna? Okay,

35:05

go win check

35:07

it out. See if anybody else is naked. If they naked,

35:09

get naked, don't make eye contact. You were so

35:12

upset with them. I like, Willie,

35:14

what do you mean, what are you looking for one a sauna?

35:17

I think it's maybe maybe the person

35:19

has social anxiety, you

35:21

know, and so.

35:22

Go ont off hours.

35:23

Maybe the person who did not write

35:25

this, uh.

35:26

Was it you? No?

35:28

Who maybe had an audi back

35:30

in the day, back

35:33

in the day which you have to be surgically removed.

35:35

Then I remember my

35:38

first sauna. That was really that was kind of like.

35:40

What's going on in here? Fisher Price? My first

35:42

sauna. I think.

35:45

I honestly thought I was gonna pass out and die in there.

35:47

I thought, yeah, I hate a sona.

35:48

I was actually in Finland for a little bit, and

35:50

they love a sauna. It's their culture, it's and their

35:53

schools, it's in their homes.

35:54

They like, can't get enough.

35:55

Oh, but they're so shy, they don't give

35:57

compliments.

35:58

They're very reserved people.

36:00

But they will get butt naked with their families,

36:02

co workers, anybody. Yeah,

36:04

and they just it's wild

36:06

and they hit themselves with the little

36:09

grass.

36:09

Yeah. Yeah. The spas

36:12

in Holland or Amsterdam are co

36:15

ed naked. And I was

36:17

like, Babe, i feel like everyone's looking, and He's

36:19

like they are. I'm like, I'm gonna go.

36:24

They also don't want to see like a stranger's

36:27

dick off hours, you know, like rest

36:30

at rest.

36:35

On airplane

36:38

phone wedding. This

36:41

dick gets no wi fi. Don's got a

36:43

question, Don read the question, go

36:45

for it.

36:45

What you guys want to say?

36:46

Airplane mode dick is crazy,

36:48

all right? The

36:51

question is how do you break

36:54

the cycle of dating the same type of person

36:56

that's wrong for you.

36:59

It's like a diet, it's a choice. One day you wake

37:01

up, you do it. One day you wake

37:03

up you're like, I'm tired of this fucking heartburn,

37:05

and I stop drinking it. Like you have to

37:07

do it and get it out of your system. Sometimes

37:09

you're older, you look back, You're like, I've wasted

37:12

so much of my life, but now I'm ready. But yeah,

37:15

this is the conversation I've had with people in

37:18

my family, like friends,

37:21

they don't go. You don't go until you're ready to

37:23

go, or a therapy.

37:25

Yeah, I heard, I

37:28

heard them.

37:28

It's just a lot of money.

37:30

Uh.

37:30

Lisa has a question, Lisa, what you got?

37:33

How should a girl ask out girls?

37:37

But I'll take this one.

37:42

It should be done at Henrietta

37:44

Hudston's okay.

37:46

Probably how you would like it? Yeah,

37:50

how do you ask about girls?

37:52

I mean that's like kind of like always the hard

37:54

thing because you're just you

37:56

know, shy ah and

37:59

it's tough. Yeah,

38:01

it is tough. It's tough to ask anyone out. I don't

38:03

even know if.

38:04

It's Yeah, it is gender

38:06

specific at all, you know. I mean if I

38:08

don't know what kind of personality you have, but

38:11

you know, you either just ask them

38:13

out right away or some

38:16

sort of conversation see if it gets

38:18

flirty, or like their stories over

38:20

and over again for years.

38:24

Yeah, I mean, like, how do you ask somebody

38:26

out? I don't know.

38:28

I'm really into people that are like

38:30

I I admire that in

38:32

people, like people that are overtly flirty

38:35

and can do that's like I admire that you

38:37

you're not flirting, No,

38:40

I'm like so chatty. And then when I like someone I'm

38:42

silent and I cannot

38:44

even I'll just like bring them water and

38:47

I like can't.

38:51

Okay, go ahead, all right, here

38:53

we go dating as an adult? What and how

38:56

the fuck do we deal with AI

38:58

bots and lying yes men, question

39:01

mark?

39:01

You guys are really going through it

39:04

right, it's yeah,

39:08

yeah, yeah. There's fences and shit, and

39:10

there's like whole ass side families and shit. So

39:12

I get it. So I feel like for

39:15

internet dating, you

39:17

got two fucking chats and then

39:19

let's get to a phone call or a fucking

39:21

meet up with coffee during the day. Like

39:24

the fucking talking for weeks on end. You

39:26

got friends, you got emails to get to You

39:29

don't need another conversation. How long are

39:31

y'all fucking talking to somebody on the internet before

39:33

you see them? Just shout it out one

39:36

day, a couple of days, interesting, good, Yeah,

39:38

get to it. New Yorkers are a fucking I don't have

39:40

time for this shit. I love it. Yeah,

39:42

I've talked to people who are like talking to someone for three

39:44

months for fucking what.

39:46

Jordan would say, that's eating around the cookie,

39:49

that's right, that is definitely around the cookies.

39:50

You gotta just take a bike. Gotta get in there.

39:52

Yeah, take a big chunk. Yeah.

39:54

If they're eating around the cookie, then they're not eating around

39:56

your cookie.

40:01

I also saw a thing on TikTok that

40:03

was like, you know, we're taught to

40:05

believe the apps are where

40:07

everyone is, and like that's

40:10

where you need to be, but it's actually like a small

40:12

group of a small group, and there's

40:14

a whole, actual world of

40:16

people everywhere that are not in

40:19

the app. But they make you think everyone's in there,

40:21

but they're not. And that's why the AI bots are

40:23

even there. So it's kind of like carry

40:25

Bradshaw, the Learning Addicts, you know, like the

40:27

men are out there.

40:32

That's a good episode.

40:33

Yeah, okay, last question? At what point?

40:36

Not the last already? Wow, I

40:38

know they've been standing for like two hours.

40:40

I know.

40:43

They are dying. Uh,

40:47

at what point do you cut off friendships? How many

40:49

chances are too many?

40:51

Oh?

40:52

My god, I'm obsessed with you know, I'm really passionate

40:54

about this. So there is a friendship

40:56

expert. Her name is doctor Buyer Jackson.

40:59

She might not be a doctor. I might have added that, but.

41:09

Damned honorary doctor. But I

41:11

love Danielle Bayer Jackson Day is incredible.

41:14

She was a high school English teacher and

41:16

then she worked in pr and she realized like dynamics

41:18

of friendship and what's going on, and she started

41:21

focusing on female friendships. And you

41:24

know, we focus so much on romantic

41:26

love. We forget so much of our joy in

41:28

life is friendship. And they make

41:30

it seem like it's easy. It should be easy,

41:33

but it takes work like any other relationship.

41:35

And so when you have a friendship issue, you

41:38

think, what's wrong with me? But it's like, no, you

41:40

gotta like really work on

41:42

it. And then I don't know, I just had like such

41:44

an honest combo a friend recently, but I also cut

41:46

a friend out. I got a few friends

41:48

out, but one after twelve years and then we just started

41:50

talking again. But it's like it's

41:53

something I think about all the time. She has a book coming

41:55

out.

41:55

I'm excited for it, but shit,

41:58

yeah when your friend or the doctor, no,

42:00

the doctor, the

42:03

doctor, doctor, Because I was like, what

42:05

a great moment to support your friends. You

42:08

know, my friend, my

42:11

friend, we you know, we've decided to put things

42:13

in the past.

42:14

But this is what Danielle says. She

42:17

goes a real friend. You should never

42:19

hesitate to tell them good news. So

42:21

if you can't tell your friend good news, that's

42:24

really not a friend. So you need to really evaluate

42:26

that. Another Okay,

42:29

another thing she really focuses on is

42:32

you get to be your real self,

42:35

Like you can be yourself. You're not on edge,

42:37

you're not trying to perform. You're like you

42:39

can cancel if you need to for whatever

42:41

reason. You can be yourself with your friend. And those

42:43

are like the two things I look for now. And if I

42:46

have those things, then I will forgive,

42:48

I will work, let's talk. But if

42:50

I'm not myself and you're not happy for

42:52

me, yeah I'm out.

42:54

Yeah. Oh

42:56

my god, Lisa.

42:59

I told us a lot about because this long term

43:01

friendship was like it was fucked for

43:03

a while and it was so hard to get out of and then finally,

43:05

you know, I worked. I really like this woman

43:08

and she helped me a lot.

43:09

Sometimes when you're friends with someone for a long time,

43:11

like you were friends with them because of

43:14

reasons that like just don't make

43:16

sense anymore, Like you know, like yeah,

43:19

they had duck hunt at their house,

43:21

and then you didn't

43:23

have duck hunt, so you you know, they're like

43:25

they became your friend. You know what I'm saying, Like

43:27

that's that's what it was, and now you're just

43:29

like what the fuck?

43:30

Like I don't even know.

43:31

Well, that's another thing, she says.

43:32

You know, we really like admire long

43:34

term friendships. How do you know they're healthy?

43:38

Like they you could be friends with someone for twenty five years

43:40

and it's like a fucked up cycle and there's nothing

43:42

to admire or you know, even

43:44

though we had, you know, people working on stuff, but you could

43:47

meet someone really connect and they can be someone

43:49

great after not that long, you know.

43:51

Yeah, yeah, it's them.

43:53

It's the labels. For me, I'm done with labels.

43:56

I'm really done with labels.

43:57

Yeah, thirty six means you don't go this is my best

43:59

friend, but I do have one, and

44:01

I like her.

44:03

I started shutting labels around thirty two thirty

44:05

three, and then by time thirty eight thirty

44:07

nine, I was like, oh, everybody can fuck off. I

44:09

need to make my own truth in order to fucking understand

44:11

what life is.

44:13

Yeah, so I have

44:15

to ask though, like for friends, getting

44:17

rid of a friend, sometimes, did the doctor or

44:19

maybe doctor talk talk

44:22

about like codependence, because like

44:24

maybe that's one reason why people don't get rid of certain

44:26

friends, it's like they don't want to be alone.

44:28

Well, I'll tell you something what my therapist

44:30

told me about an unhealthy thing. She go

44:33

she said, you know, this

44:36

friend might be using you for whatever

44:38

reason, but you're using them and you have

44:40

to figure out what you're gaining from that person

44:43

and get like gain that in yourself

44:45

because you're using this like if you're in a bad

44:47

thing, you're with them for something, and you have to figure

44:49

that out in yourself. Yeah, instead of

44:52

using them for whatever comfort they kind

44:54

of have with you. And my

44:56

best and one of my friends said, it's honestly humiliating

44:58

to argue with someone you're an fucking which

45:01

how has helped me to Yeah, interest, She goes,

45:03

you're in these friendship fights. You're

45:05

not even fucking these people.

45:07

Yeah, And I'm like, oh my god,

45:10

Yeah, I never fight with my friends.

45:11

Never. Yeah.

45:13

My mom always said, if you're not feeding,

45:15

fucking, or financing, then why are you here?

45:17

Like why are we arguing? So you

45:19

guys can take that.

45:21

But also with friendship is a different Once you have

45:24

you know, your friends, houses, kids,

45:27

like making time for front like that's you know.

45:29

It gets hard, It gets really hard.

45:30

I had once I had a kid,

45:33

and I had a friend write

45:35

me a letter that.

45:36

Told me that I was being selfish for not hanging out with him.

45:39

A letter. A letter.

45:41

I was like, you're a sociopath and

45:44

and he felt like left out and I was like,

45:46

well that tells me you're a narcissist. But

45:49

it's helpful, you know. It's after that. It wasn't

45:52

like we broke up, but I knew who that person was

45:54

from then on, you know, like, yeah, I

45:56

mean I'm gonna cry all right talking

45:59

about friend and who to keep

46:01

making the circle smaller. It's like it's

46:03

tough to do, it really is, but I'm glad

46:05

that you're able to do.

46:07

That's why I have a meatball party so I can see

46:09

all the crazies one time a year. I

46:11

don't really talk to anyone, talk amongst yourselves,

46:13

Bye bye, see

46:15

you later. But it's very lovely. It's sort of like what

46:18

people do for Christmas, but it's my own made up holiday

46:21

and it's delicious, and it's delicious and we

46:23

have a good time. Okay, so we okay, it's my one friend

46:25

in the back that comes to people party. So

46:28

uh. We ask every guest what's the most adult

46:30

thing you want to do for yourself that you haven't had time yet. It could

46:32

be anything big or small.

46:34

What grown ass thing do I

46:36

want to do for myself?

46:38

This?

46:38

People have said, like Shaikhul said,

46:41

like I want to drink a Capri on the Island

46:43

of Capri, Like, whanted you drink a Caprice? Son?

46:45

Well wearing Caprice?

46:46

Well wearing Caprice you don't have.

46:47

That's a very hard one. Why would you put that one

46:50

out there? That's like the Oscar winning?

46:52

So can you do better than that?

46:54

Or truly

46:58

anything?

46:59

I know?

47:00

I know?

47:00

Can you just talk amongst yourself? A

47:06

show?

47:06

It's a good show. This is fun. This part

47:08

of the audience amazing.

47:12

A little chat.

47:13

They're going to get drinks later and really sort it out

47:16

about I love the peeps in the

47:19

back.

47:19

People were great.

47:21

Thank you for coming all the way from Iowa for this. Did

47:23

you really come over leaning.

47:25

On the bar?

47:25

Everyone?

47:26

You guys are really doing it the bar.

47:28

But you know what, the real m vps aren't

47:30

leaning on anything.

47:31

They're just out here fucking

47:33

with there's stance.

47:35

Oh my gosh, their knees are fucked.

47:36

They are they definitely go to t k

47:39

T s the day up to get the tip, like that's

47:41

what it's giving. And I like that. I like that

47:43

t k T Actually

47:47

are you ready?

47:48

Are you ready?

47:49

Please?

47:51

What do you want to do?

47:52

The first thing that I would say? The

47:55

first thing like I kept

47:57

thinking.

47:57

I was like, I don't even know, but my parents

47:59

are hitting the age where they just like

48:01

like I kept trying to explain. I'm like, Mom, I have a fire escape.

48:04

I'm really excited, and she couldn't understand it. I'm

48:06

like, it's the metal stairs outside

48:08

of the window. And I was just so mad at her. And then

48:10

my sister was like pretty woman. She goes, oh, you have a

48:12

pretty woman thing, and then she

48:14

got it. But I was so frustrated,

48:16

and I think my adult thing is I'm not going to be frustrated

48:19

with where my parents are at. Like I'm just that, yes,

48:24

yea, at your peace.

48:27

They're just like, so I moved and

48:29

I'm near this restaurant I like, and I told

48:31

my dad, I go, I like to order this from here, and

48:34

he goes, but how did you go there?

48:36

You mean la?

48:36

I go, no, no, it's in New York. He goes, but you lived

48:38

in Brooklyn. I go, and

48:41

I got so mad, But next time I'm going to be like, you're right,

48:43

I'd never been and I was stuck in Brooklyn,

48:46

and I don't.

48:47

Know how to explain to you that I've been to a restaurant outside

48:49

my burrow, Like I don't know how

48:52

to do this right now, but I can't be mad at

48:54

you. So that's my Yeah, where

48:57

they're at, Lee's a trick. Everybody's

49:06

you know what, I forgot that

49:08

Liza has done the show before when

49:10

we were just doing a live show and it wasn't a podcast. Until

49:12

I was like sitting next to her on stage, I'm like, oh

49:15

my goodness, what in the

49:17

big titty deja vu was going one?

49:20

And this is what I love about her, And this is what

49:22

I love about people like her, especially creatives.

49:25

What she does is kind of like what we do. It's kind of

49:27

like learning a language or learning how to drive in New York.

49:29

You learn all the rules and then you learn how

49:31

to break them and make them your own, right.

49:33

And that's why I fucking love

49:35

her.

49:36

And you can only be that funny when you have

49:38

been through some painful shit, and so

49:40

you can look at someone you don't even have to know what they go through,

49:42

but you just know that they've gone through something. Just

49:45

to be that dark and fucking funny.

49:47

Oh absolutely, I fucking love her. But

49:49

yes, you guys got to check out her podcast if you

49:51

haven't, That's Messed Up and SUV puc SVU

49:54

podcasts. I

49:57

want to be like SWV, like

50:00

you know, every time I have

50:02

to say s VU, I'm like Sisters

50:05

with Voices WV. The

50:09

sixteen year old black girl comes out on me. I'm

50:11

just like double you, double

50:13

V. It's a lot. It's a lot.

50:15

I know, we go to different places. It's like it's Law and

50:17

Order SUV. It's s WV.

50:19

You know it, yes, yes,

50:22

yeah, so it's it's called That's

50:24

Messed Up, and it's

50:26

an homage, a comical

50:28

homage to Law and Order s VU. The

50:31

Marishka Hardens gay of it all. So

50:33

please check it out. It's so funny.

50:35

Don't try and do that.

50:36

Now you're gonna try and just say everybody's last

50:38

name, this motherfucker, you know what. The irony

50:41

is not lost on me that the podcast

50:44

name is That's Messed Up and I Messed

50:46

it Up?

50:46

Okay, okay, as

50:49

the middle child. I can be a little corrective.

50:51

It's true, A little, a bit,

50:54

yeah, a bit, a

50:56

smidge, a smitge

50:58

a scooch.

51:00

Leu's go.

51:03

Dollup.

51:06

I'm gonna have like no energy and no voice

51:08

by the time I see my kids today. That's what's

51:10

gonna happen.

51:14

Bye, everyone, we love you.

51:19

This has been an exactly right production.

51:21

Our senior producer is g how Lee.

51:23

Art Associate producer is Christina Chamberlain.

51:26

This episode was mixed by John Bradley.

51:28

Our guest booker is Patrick Cotner.

51:30

Additional production support from Hannah Kyle Crichton.

51:32

Theme song and live show djang is by DJ

51:35

Don Will.

51:35

Our live producer is Makala Konozovich.

51:38

Artwork by Jamie Bechtel.

51:39

Photography by Heis vander Most.

51:42

Executive produced by Karen Kilgera, Georgia

51:44

Hartstark and Daniel Kramer.

51:46

Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting

51:48

the Pod.

51:49

Email your questions to Adulting Questions

51:51

at gmail dot com.

51:52

Mmmmm