0:01

What's up? Everybody?

0:01

Welcome to adulting. I'm Michelby Toe, that is Jordan

0:03

Carlos. I have a lot to share with you

0:06

in the caffeine is kicking in. Not like I'm going to do

0:08

a push up or a sit up. I'm not going to do all that. But I

0:10

do have feelings and sometimes my mouth doesn't

0:12

go as fast as my brain.

0:13

But here the fuck she is?

0:15

My husband, without asking

0:17

me, bought a karaoke machine.

0:19

Okay, Now, did

0:21

I almost bring it up a couple therapy?

0:23

Yes?

0:25

I thought it was a little too

0:28

petty to bring up a couple therapy because obviously

0:30

there's like bigger issues that

0:33

everybody should explore and talk about, because

0:36

it's like someone giving your kid a drum

0:38

set.

0:38

Why didn't you ask me? Why

0:40

did you bring Why did you.

0:42

Bring a puzzle that

0:44

has eleven hundred pieces?

0:46

Why do you hate me so much? Karaoke machine?

0:48

Why?

0:49

All I did was try to hide the microphones

0:51

from my kids, because I mean

0:54

it was a lot. Okay, but then

0:57

we had a party and Jordan, Jordan, are

0:59

you there?

1:00

Butthole soapuckered? I thought that

1:02

you liked.

1:02

The car give machine.

1:23

I didn't like the karaoke machine until

1:25

we did it with friends.

1:26

That was so fun. Though it

1:28

was so fun.

1:29

One thing everyone should know about you,

1:31

you were karaoke king.

1:33

Stop right now, Stop right now.

1:36

Nobody needs to know about my private life. Okay,

1:38

we can talk about my personal life, but not my private life.

1:40

Do you understand.

1:41

I'll tell you why.

1:42

If yes, If Jordan is

1:44

Eminem, then his wife is doctor Dre because

1:47

she is the producing mastermind.

1:49

Of Jordan do this song next

1:52

and then he does it.

1:54

That's actually a very good impression. I

1:57

was like, what, it's actually a really

1:59

good oppression. Yes, my wife.

2:02

My wife chose the songs and then I sang them,

2:04

and one was Mary J. Blige's

2:07

I Can Love You Better Than She Can remix

2:10

with featuring Little Kim, which

2:12

was so fun because you and I

2:15

did a due at in the Little Kim portion, yes,

2:17

which will be burning too my brain forever.

2:20

I mean, I posted it.

2:21

It's up on our adulting page, Like, yes,

2:23

it's posted because I

2:26

you know, first of all, karaoke, there's

2:28

a lot of rules. Number one, don't do a queen

2:30

song unless we can all sing it, because no one's got

2:32

eleven minutes for you to live your

2:35

like inner theater school

2:37

kid rejection.

2:39

No one's got time for that. That's like a one person show. No

2:41

One.

2:41

Number two. Pick a song that we've sung

2:43

before. Yes, at least look at the lyrics.

2:45

You can look it up lyrics dot com, because ooh

2:48

baby, there's a lot of lyrics that I didn't even know were

2:50

in that song.

2:51

And I didn't know will kill. I was so angry. I mean, I know

2:53

she got spunk, but I was like, who gonna

2:55

love you?

2:55

Like I do what?

2:57

I was like, Oh my god, you

3:00

you're gonna love me? I'm so sorry.

3:01

I just love

3:03

that Mary Jay is appealing to the man's

3:05

heart. You know, she's so sweet

3:08

about it. She's like, no one can

3:10

do that way, and the little

3:12

kid's like who cave? She's

3:15

like, fuck all that. That's my favorite

3:17

part of the song.

3:18

I know we all have our love

3:20

language.

3:21

Yes, truly, truly. Mine

3:23

is definitely karaoke.

3:24

You got me so ripped

3:27

on wine and rose that I

3:30

channeled David Bowie.

3:32

You did out of nowhere. Somebody put

3:34

it on a David Bowie song and then walked away. We're

3:36

like, We're all looking at

3:38

each other, like, how do we skip

3:41

this?

3:41

Song. We all love it, but who gotta do it?

3:43

It's a goudvil small.

3:45

Yeah.

3:45

I was just like.

3:49

It was so good.

3:50

And then yeah, your David Bowie impression

3:53

was so good that I was like, should

3:55

you audition for SML. I

3:57

almost like took a video send it to Lauren Michaels

3:59

because we text all the time.

4:01

Yeah, all the time, all the time.

4:03

It did feel like a moment I switched

4:05

to the other phase where you're like not just having

4:07

fun now okay, now you're entertaining.

4:09

Yes, and now you need to take it down. Now you

4:11

need to take it down, clown, take it

4:13

down.

4:14

Yes, I felt it. I was like he's going through

4:16

the little live rounds, you know. I was thinking, why do

4:18

you build me up? Buttercup or whatever? That was so

4:20

good, but you needed like an outfit change.

4:24

You needed one green eye and one blue.

4:26

Eye, like David Bowie. I don't remember what his eye.

4:28

I know he had two different eye colors, but I don't remember he

4:30

did. Yeah, that was wild, Like

4:33

if you can do it with karaoke, you just need the one

4:35

song.

4:35

The people that can keep going too.

4:37

Much, well, people kept like

4:40

I don't know what it was. It was like they would pick a song and then

4:42

not be in the room. They'd be like, fu, yeah, that's

4:44

also like a boss move. It's like, how well

4:46

I put a song in, but get back

4:48

here.

4:49

You better complain this song.

4:50

And then it was so funny, like a three year

4:52

old kid requested Baby Shark and I

4:54

was like, why are we asking three year olds?

4:57

We don't even ask them what they want to eat? And I

4:59

was like, what are we doing?

5:01

But there's nothing sweeter than like eleven year

5:03

old singing Yeah.

5:04

It's really cute.

5:05

I mean serving

5:07

from the A to the Z.

5:08

Girl. My son got into Miss You

5:11

by the Rolling Stones.

5:12

He show did.

5:12

I was like, what are you what are you missing?

5:15

What are you talking about?

5:16

Show did?

5:20

We can't afford that song, Let's not do that. We

5:23

can't even do Happy Birthday?

5:24

What are you doing?

5:24

But what I do love is that

5:27

my husband did like a real I told you so? And I was

5:29

like, is this everyone loves Raymond? But

5:31

he was like, I told you and I said, I was like, I

5:33

had no idea that karaoke

5:35

would bring everybody together and be so entertaining

5:38

because the only people that were really interested in it when

5:40

I told them, oh, my god, he got a karaoke machine. Was

5:42

my Chinese Jamaican family because Asian

5:44

people love karaokeing.

5:45

And I'm like, is this the individual koy movie?

5:48

And my drag queen friends who we are just like

5:50

bitch And I was like, okay,

5:52

so I didn't know that the Norman.

5:54

The Normy's like it. Yeah, the normis.

5:56

It's like it's a place to fly, it's

5:58

a place to have fun and let go.

6:00

I didn't know.

6:01

Oh that was a good time. Michelle, you are

6:04

the ultimate hostess.

6:05

We know this.

6:06

Thank you. You know what. I feel like.

6:08

My food was a little under salted, but that's okay.

6:10

When you start to make food for a lot of people, you're like,

6:12

it is what it is. Plus I don't use a lot of salt

6:14

because the double chin comes in real

6:17

quick than a venged So like, I like to fuck

6:19

around with other Why are you I'm waiting for your eyes

6:21

to roll back.

6:21

When you're done, Yes, when you're done.

6:24

Michelle made the spread.

6:26

It was dust spread. I was like, finally

6:29

I'm eating like its like in

6:31

my house, it's all you know, it's like it's

6:34

squirrel food. And so I go to Michelle's and it's

6:36

like shepherd's pie, lauzagna.

6:39

Shepherd's pie and a lasagna

6:41

in a cast iron.

6:43

Yes, and deviled

6:45

eggs and eggs

6:47

and rice ball. Oh my god, you're like, have

6:49

a rice ball? Like they

6:51

were too big? They were really there were size of like

6:53

baseballs.

6:54

Oh my god.

6:55

Cause you said, I've been cooking all day. This is what you're

6:57

like. I've been cooking all day. And I was like, did.

6:59

You make this?

7:01

I honestly thought you made those rice balls? But you made

7:03

everything else except for the rice

7:05

balls. And everything was exceptional and

7:07

it didn't need salt, and it was made with love

7:09

and it was perfect. And as we say down South, you put

7:12

your foot in it. It was so damn

7:14

good. I loved it. I loved it.

7:16

No notes, Oh my goodness, thank you. So

7:18

I will take that.

7:19

I will take that and

7:21

put it in my pocket and forget about

7:24

it and put it in the wash.

7:27

I realized I do miss

7:30

cooking for friends.

7:33

But here's the little adulting hack

7:35

that I feel like I've talked about on the show, especially live

7:37

shows quite a bit. If you can afford

7:39

it, book a cleaning person the next day after

7:41

a party, because then you're not as anxious,

7:44

that's all.

7:44

Do you remember.

7:45

I was like, how can I be because it was like a

7:47

broken down seats group. I was like, how can I be

7:49

of service in the kitchen to you?

7:51

And you're like, look at this trained

7:54

man trying.

7:55

And then.

7:57

I saw the dishes. I was like, I'll do the dishes, and you

7:59

were just like, no, somebody's coming tomorrow.

8:01

They coming in a morning.

8:02

Yeah, it's fine, leath and dishes.

8:04

Yeah.

8:04

I was like, yeah, what what.

8:07

Just get like the weird extra glasses all over

8:09

the house and then we put them all together in a pile like

8:11

that's fine. The best

8:13

part about also hosting is just

8:16

like, I mean, you just gotta let go.

8:18

There's nothing worse than going to someone's house and

8:20

feeling tense, you know, like

8:22

it's some sort of museum and it's like don't don't

8:25

sit there, don't can you just and it's like,

8:27

you know, our house is made to be

8:29

lived in, so just relax.

8:32

And it's so fun that the other kids can run

8:34

around and go upstairs and go in the basement.

8:37

Even the dogs had a great time. I love a

8:39

good ass party.

8:40

Whitney and Lola were running around

8:42

the beach frolicking and playing like

8:45

tug of war with a stick.

8:46

Yeah, it was really cute, Like nobody was watching.

8:49

I was like, this is really sweet.

8:50

I love it when my kids get along and my dogs get along.

8:52

There's like it makes me sleep better at night.

8:54

Yeah, because everyone's had a good day.

8:56

It was.

8:57

It was good vibes. Yeah, good

8:59

feels good vibes. Thank you for having us be a part

9:01

of that. We really appreciate it.

9:03

Yeah, are you gonna invite me to a party or should

9:05

I just throw it out your.

9:06

That we

9:09

lived too far for you.

9:13

I couldn't turn around. I couldn't turn

9:15

around.

9:17

Okay, okay, when look what you did?

9:19

You messed up?

9:20

Now when did I turn around?

9:21

You were coming to a birthday party. I think it was like Malcolm's

9:24

maybe first or second. It wasn't as first

9:26

because you're at his first, but the second, Yeah, were like there

9:28

was too much traffic. We're so sorry, we love you,

9:30

but literally, bay Ridge was like it ain't having

9:32

it.

9:32

There were a couple of birthday parties that day, and I can't

9:34

was that the one where your mom was at and you had it at

9:36

your house?

9:37

Yes?

9:38

I was there, you know for me.

9:39

I was trying to have children and I was having a lot of

9:41

miss I was experiencing miscarriages.

9:44

So going to kids' birthday parties, which is hard for

9:46

me.

9:46

Got you.

9:47

But I did show up.

9:48

I don't want to relitigate it. Listen,

9:50

what happened? Happened? I want you over for

9:52

bagels. Do you like bagels? You bagel

9:54

person?

9:55

Look at this double chin bitch. Of course

9:57

I love bagels. I love

9:59

a b and locks, I love everything bagel.

10:02

Don't scoop out the middle, your

10:04

dumb, basic, weak bitch.

10:06

Leave all that do in there. That's the fucking point. I

10:08

will say.

10:09

There was one time that was supposed to meet up

10:11

with our very hilarious friend Dan and Duke at.

10:13

Like a book shop.

10:15

Lord, you were like at a bookshop or a

10:17

library with your daughter. I'm meeting him

10:19

like in Williamsburg at like a coffee shop.

10:21

I think there was too much traffic for you.

10:23

Actually, yeah, we had to give up. Like

10:26

New York is crazy.

10:26

It's Carmageddon now, and what am I supposed

10:28

to take the subway?

10:34

I don't think so, Oh my goodness, I don't

10:36

think so, oh my goodness. Speaking of Karmageddon,

10:38

LL just kidding, you

10:40

know. I go to Holland a lot, and it

10:43

does feel like if it just feel like

10:45

a second home. It feels, you know how like stand

10:47

up feels like an extension of you. Well, like

10:50

going to Holland feels like an extension of me

10:52

and my family now, so it is very weird,

10:55

you know. It's different than like dating a Dutch

10:57

guiy. It's like now my kids are half Dutch, right, and

10:59

going to Holland, I meet a lot.

11:01

Of cool as people there.

11:02

There's so many like dope black people

11:04

in Holland that we need to put on because I always

11:07

make the joke to my Dutch in laws,

11:09

I'm like, I would know Dutch if there was a Dutch

11:11

Beyonce. Okay, So

11:15

anyways, I'm very excited to have our guests

11:17

on.

11:17

Who's in a whole ass different time zone?

11:20

Nicole bus.

11:27

There she is where.

11:30

I've just stuffed my face with some food

11:33

of the thing.

11:34

How you go?

11:35

How what are you doing?

11:36

Darling?

11:36

I don't know, bitch, Hell look at New York.

11:39

Listen he I wish I could

11:41

be where you guys are?

11:42

Me too?

11:43

So soon did you meet Jordan?

11:45

We did?

11:46

We did it? I said, Nicole. I've

11:48

heard your music. It is very beautiful. You have a

11:50

beautiful.

11:51

Voice, gorgeous voice. Yeah, what a gift.

11:53

Thank you.

11:54

Were you always singing when you were little?

11:55

You're like pretty much you know how

11:58

black parents they'll take you to and

12:00

if you want to or not, you're gonna sing and

12:02

you're gonna be in the choir.

12:03

Oh it's my mom's dream to play

12:06

the pan on the choir. I'm like, that's it,

12:08

that's it. Nothing else a

12:11

right, come.

12:11

On now, I bet she's very proud of you, Michelle.

12:14

Okay, why why why is there silence?

12:17

She is proud? She Yeah, but today's

12:20

not about mama, It's not about

12:22

Hi.

12:23

Everybody just kidding.

12:24

But listen, I'm so excited you could do this because,

12:27

first of all, I went to Amsterdam for

12:29

the summer because I was curious whether I could live

12:31

there or not.

12:33

Yes.

12:34

And it's so funny because Tasha Smith,

12:36

who plays Marlene and Survival of the Thickets available

12:38

on Netflix now all episodes, and was

12:41

like, you gotta meet the sister. She's saying

12:43

she's amazing, and then she showed me your picture. I'm

12:45

like, are you just trying to connect all the light skinned bitches,

12:48

She's like and then I met you. I

12:50

was like, oh, she's amazing.

12:54

And then we linked up with Cidrus

12:56

with her twin sister who happened to be in Amsterdam

12:58

and had tickets VIP tickets

13:01

to Beyonce yep on Father's

13:03

Day.

13:03

Come on, and so we just thought we were gonna have like

13:05

a good seat, honey.

13:07

We were like in a Champagne

13:10

VIP situation where it was like spades

13:12

was.

13:12

This black spades armand what was

13:14

it? Jay Z Champagne?

13:16

I still have the glasses?

13:17

Oh do you?

13:18

I took to New York's like, look at this Beyonce.

13:21

Thank you so much.

13:22

I know I wanted to, but I was

13:24

like, I can't pack everything, but I love

13:26

that. We were sitting next to Beyonce's father, Matthew

13:29

Knowles. We're all saying hi and stuff, and

13:31

he goes to Nicole. I loved your comedy special on Netflix.

13:34

He thought Nicole was me, I

13:37

said, mister Knowles. I said, she's

13:39

the after picture. I'm the before picture.

13:41

Oh come on now stop.

13:43

I know, but still I was like, that's so funny. But that was

13:45

such a good time. I'm so glad we like met

13:47

and connected. Like, first of all, let's

13:49

just tell everybody who you is, Like, who

13:52

is you, what you do? Where are you from?

13:54

Would it be well, I'm

13:56

Nicole. I'm a singer, songwriters,

13:59

a producer from Amsterdam. Love

14:01

to make music, love to live

14:03

and have a good time, and I love to cook.

14:05

So that's a good synops

14:08

of who I am.

14:09

Should be throwing down with the seasonings and

14:11

such.

14:12

My gosh, now I did a little research

14:14

about you. Some of your family is from

14:16

Curasaw as well.

14:18

Yes, yes, look at you. You did some

14:20

research.

14:20

Okay, yes, I try

14:22

to.

14:23

Let's talk Caribbean.

14:24

Do you know any dishes from Curasol When

14:27

you say you cook?

14:27

Of course, don't you see this

14:29

this color?

14:30

Okay, okay, let me know.

14:31

No, No, definitely. My

14:34

mom is from Curasau and my

14:37

grandmother and my mom as well. But

14:39

they can cook like they

14:42

can cook like their life depends

14:44

on it. Probably did at one point, hey

14:47

it did. So they teach me a

14:49

lot of the recipes. We have

14:52

a very funny story. So you

14:54

guys have gumbo, right.

14:56

Yeah, yes, of course that's with the ogre.

14:58

But we call it y bo,

15:01

so it's the same name. But I wonder how

15:03

that came to be. So we have that,

15:05

We have Johnny Cake, which a lot of other

15:07

Caribbean islands have as well.

15:10

Yeah, it's in a bony m song. Yes,

15:12

brown girl in the ring. Yeah,

15:14

and he's from Aruba. So oh okay,

15:16

yeah see the ABC.

15:18

Yeah.

15:19

See I love gumbo. So you use the oakral

15:21

and the yumbo, you just call it yumbo.

15:23

Yeah, So you guys don't call it gumbo with

15:25

a little bit more flairing.

15:26

We say yambo, okay, because we know

15:29

it's an African word. It's a Western African

15:31

word. I think it was like they played the game

15:33

Telephone and and it you know,

15:35

wherever you got off on the boat, you know, colonialism,

15:39

y'all got off there and said yumbo. We got up

15:41

in the United States and said gumbo.

15:42

That was it. That was it.

15:43

Happy Indigenous People Day. It

15:49

really is funny how we have more in

15:51

common than not. But it really

15:54

is like good old fucking colonialism

15:56

and patriarchy that would just love to think that

15:58

we're divied as fuck, which is why it was so

16:01

nice meeting you in Amsterdam, because you

16:03

know, I'm friends with a lot of my husband's friends

16:05

and so it's nice to have my own friends.

16:09

And so honestly, I don't think we really

16:11

got into it because there was so much going on in

16:13

Amsterdam. But like, what's it like

16:16

growing up multi racial in

16:18

a place like Holland.

16:21

It's a free education if you like it or

16:23

not. You really learn how to

16:25

navigate and actually save yourself

16:27

within different compartments

16:29

of the society you grow in. So,

16:32

for instance, my father is Dutch,

16:34

right, but he's from this and you know what

16:36

I'm talking about, Rachelle, It's from the little village

16:39

in the Netherlands. It's not from Amsterdam, the fancy

16:42

multicultural diversity

16:44

city. It was from a very small,

16:46

farmer ish type of village. So

16:48

you learn how to read the white

16:51

Caucasian culture in a sense.

16:54

But then thank god we had you

16:56

know, Ratterdana Amsterdam with the Caribbean

16:58

family. So it

17:00

was a balance of I like to call

17:02

it like the eight faces. You

17:05

learn as a mixed do

17:07

I say that right? Like yeah, hm, a

17:09

mixed shop. You really learn how to navigate

17:12

in all the cultures, all the colds,

17:14

and I think the Netherlands

17:16

gives you a very good platform to do.

17:18

So it's funny too because when

17:21

I first started going to Holland, Everyone's like, why do you bring

17:23

up race so much?

17:23

Right, because I was like, I am, I'm just talking

17:26

about shit.

17:26

I know.

17:27

I'm just talking about stuff I've seen in the news and

17:29

that person in this person, and

17:31

there is like this thing that happens,

17:34

not just in Holland. People don't want you to bring up

17:36

race. They don't want anything negative

17:38

that you're bringing up from their past. But it's

17:41

the truth and it's history, So why

17:43

can't we talk about it because I'm living in.

17:45

They don't like it. They don't like to be confronted,

17:47

they don't like to be pointed on the facts.

17:50

And let's be really honest, most of the stuff

17:52

they did they're actually pretty

17:54

proud of. If you look at the street

17:57

names, those are the people that

17:59

were part or actually the initiators

18:01

of that history. But we're still

18:04

naming streets and buildings having

18:06

holidays, right, having holidays.

18:09

Let's not go there please, But

18:12

yeah, I think it's it's

18:14

a confrontation, especially how society

18:17

is evolving right now. It's getting

18:19

more diverse with the month.

18:22

It's going so fast. Yeah, especially

18:25

here in the Netherlands, everybody's it seems like everybody's

18:27

mixing with each other, So

18:30

then the conversation becomes heavier,

18:32

and then you know, especially the older generation,

18:34

I feel they feel a little bit heavy to

18:36

talk about it.

18:37

Yeah, how do you negotiate that in your

18:39

art?

18:40

When you're creating your music? How does it

18:42

express itself in your art? Does it come across

18:44

in your voice when you feel like, okay,

18:47

this was one time period when I'm doing my

18:49

recording, and then you listen to yourself and you're like, oh my gosh, this is

18:51

how I'm singing now I'm more resonan or

18:53

something like that, or what is that like?

18:55

Hmmm, So do you mean like how

18:57

I take the cultural part within my

18:59

music, which you mean?

19:00

I think it's more like the atmosphere

19:03

of the country that you live in, you know, your

19:05

home.

19:05

I don't think you hear it back in my music,

19:08

Yeah, especially the American So I did

19:10

Dutch for a while because I studied

19:12

at the conservatory and the teacher was challenging

19:14

me, like to Dutch, and I was like, no, I

19:16

won't, and then she was like cry

19:18

it And I ended up signing

19:21

a deal for Dutch music, which was fun.

19:24

But next to that, if you've never

19:26

heard any of my Dutch material. You will

19:28

not. I don't think you would hear I'm

19:30

from the Netherlands. I'm not taking it.

19:32

Wow, I

19:35

rebuke it.

19:35

How is that possible? I was listening. I

19:38

could not tell. Yeah, did you just grow up

19:40

listening to American music?

19:42

Yeah? Gospel music.

19:44

I mean it's so good.

19:46

Thank you.

19:46

I was going to ask you how it comes out

19:49

in your relationships, because

19:51

when I'm in Holland, it feels like I'm the loudest

19:54

one in a restaurant.

19:55

I'm the only one wearing a bright colored shirt.

19:57

I'm the only one making eye contact at the street

19:59

sign the street like I'm a bike Hi?

20:01

How are you? Why aren't you talking to me? I simply

20:03

said, how are you?

20:04

Yeah?

20:05

Human being? I'm a human being.

20:06

So like to live in a place where

20:09

like, I'm.

20:11

Not trying to sell anything or buy anything, I just want to

20:13

say hi.

20:13

So to live in a place where

20:15

we don't talk about Bruno, Like, how

20:18

does that come out in your relationships?

20:21

Oh? Man, Michelle, I don't feel

20:23

like I have you actually already

20:25

answered it. I don't have a

20:27

lot of Dutch relationships.

20:30

Mmmm.

20:31

When it comes to friends and I'm not saying

20:33

it as oh, I'm said or don't know. Yeah,

20:35

it's like I consciously choose

20:38

not to mingle too much with people

20:41

that are very locked within the Dutch culture.

20:43

So I have my family, I maybe have my

20:45

circle of three maybe four

20:48

ish, and that's it. And

20:51

everything that I do, the communication

20:53

or you know, it's all with American

20:56

colleagues and friends.

20:57

So yeah, wow, I get that. And

21:00

this is like a very wild question.

21:02

But here the fuck we is and I'm in

21:04

a plus sized printed shirt.

21:06

Let's go the music business, I

21:09

mean, just.

21:09

In general culture in general, the needle

21:12

has moved a lot, the toxic

21:14

misogynistic behavior,

21:17

particularly from men and then also women who

21:19

allow it to happen. How long have

21:21

you been in the music business and have people

21:23

like tried to disrespect

21:25

you, Like, how do you figure.

21:27

Out how to how do you negotiate?

21:30

Yeah, negotiate that shit, because you know you're talented

21:32

and you do want the job. But I feel like so often

21:34

women are like, this is what I have to do, and

21:36

this is what I have to put up with an order to be successful,

21:39

or like.

21:40

Have the needle move. That was a very long

21:42

winded question.

21:44

Oh but it's a good one. It's a good

21:46

one, and you explained it well. I'm gonna

21:48

try not to give you a long winded answer back.

21:51

No do Barbell.

21:55

Let me say this for me. I

21:58

don't do concessions, which

22:00

means that comes with a set

22:02

of consequences. You can

22:05

walk a road. In this case, we're

22:07

talking about the music industry road, and there's

22:09

a way to walk it really fast past

22:11

with my bundle of talent.

22:14

You have two roads you can take, and

22:17

I refuse to take the fast road because

22:19

then I have to make concessions.

22:22

Whereby I know that when I'm older, I

22:24

won't be happy with the results. While

22:26

I look back, I want to look myself

22:28

in the mirror and be like, girl, it

22:30

took a long bang time, but

22:33

you know, I'm proud of you.

22:34

And thank God we age well.

22:36

Hey, hey, okay,

22:40

thank God for God be praised.

22:43

Yeah.

22:43

No, I'm telling you, thank God for Melanine.

22:45

So did I experience situations

22:48

like that? I think I've experienced

22:51

situations where I got very close.

22:53

But again, I'm six feet as well, and

22:56

I do think that when I come into those

22:58

situations and when there are

23:00

like women that are shorter than me, I

23:03

often overhear that they have

23:05

to fight a little bit more. But I do think

23:07

that I use my length a little bit, and

23:09

then my personality is very fast,

23:11

like we're not going that way, you

23:13

know, but yeah.

23:14

Wow, oh shit, I love it. That's

23:17

when the Dutch sat comes in.

23:18

It's just like nadakivell motherfuckers,

23:21

fuck us, what's up?

23:22

Let me go find my bike?

23:24

Right?

23:25

What is that?

23:26

It's just no thank you?

23:27

Oh okay, yeah you have to.

23:32

For those who don't understand, you know,

23:34

I know, Guda cheese, Oh my

23:37

goodness, I know, street

23:40

laff.

23:41

Stop buffo.

23:43

This is too much. That's like saying,

23:46

I know, KFC, what are we doing? Jordan's

23:49

what the fuck are we doing?

23:50

Geordia.

23:51

Writing songs isn't like a burp, isn't

23:54

like a like you just gotta get it out. Feelings

23:57

for me are just like gas. I'm like, I

23:59

gotta get it out. I feel better.

24:02

It depends some songs. They

24:05

just you know, something happens, you

24:07

break up with your boyfriend or you

24:09

know, and yeah, and then it's like, oh shit,

24:11

I hate the motherfucker. You'd be like writing and

24:14

then you know, you get a resolve out.

24:16

Of it was the last time we broke up with someone.

24:18

I don't want to conclude that within

24:20

this this very public conversation.

24:24

But the person that knows knows.

24:26

Oh, the person that knows knows

24:28

what the persons no,

24:32

no, don't know.

24:33

So we get questions from the audience all the time.

24:35

And this is one of the hardest things for people is

24:38

breaking up because they found themselves

24:40

in this relationship, this responsibility,

24:43

this lifestyle that they don't know how

24:45

to break free from. And when

24:48

people start noticing and start telling

24:50

you and the question literally, you'll be

24:52

like everyone tells me I shouldn't be with this person, should

24:54

not be with them. It's just like, why do you need us to tell

24:56

you something you already know? You

24:59

are like one of the most people I

25:01

do find Dutch people thoughtful on

25:03

a whole, but definitely you are very

25:05

like showed up with fresh bread

25:07

right out the gate. I said, come on, bitch,

25:10

but how do you mindfully break

25:12

up with somebody and then also keep

25:14

your shit intact?

25:16

I think that I grew into a position

25:19

that I just say what I want to say in a very

25:21

respectful manner, and I don't run

25:23

away from confrontation anymore.

25:26

Once I came into my thirties, I

25:28

was like, even though it hurt, so I

25:30

like to do things in person as well. You

25:33

know, I had the conversation with him.

25:35

I was like, just.

25:36

Pointing everything out, and that can be

25:38

very it might sounds Dutch again,

25:41

very cold. We can be very

25:43

like wretchal that's the word, right

25:46

it and be like, okay, well, I know this

25:48

is not going to benefit me in the future,

25:51

even though I know what I can deliver

25:53

to the table. So I'm pulling myself

25:55

out of the situation respectfully. And

25:57

that's what I did. But then, you know, you can be

25:59

very regal and Dutch, but when you get home

26:01

you cry like a little baby.

26:03

Oh yeah, of course feelings are meant

26:05

to be feunt.

26:06

Well, there's that all saying, never negotiate

26:08

out of fear, but also never fear to negotiate.

26:11

Whoo, where's my

26:13

tamperid? Honey?

26:15

That was JFK. Thanks shout

26:18

out to JEFFK.

26:19

I heard of him doing big things,

26:21

that guy.

26:22

Big things.

26:24

I have to ask you a question, Yeah, is it easier

26:26

to get through so much good

26:28

and bad through the catharsis of art

26:30

and creation?

26:31

Yes?

26:32

I think art is a gift that keeps

26:34

on giving, especially in hard times. Something

26:37

happens, I instantly like, pour

26:39

it within the art, and then I can separate

26:41

myself a little bit better than

26:44

if I would not have a medium to

26:47

express myself with.

26:48

Is that when you know you need to write again because I have so

26:50

much that you're feeling that You're like, I need

26:52

to process these feelings.

26:54

Yeah.

26:54

Last December, I don't know if

26:56

it was the moon. I heard there was a special

26:59

moon in leslie St. I don't know what it was.

27:01

There was there was people.

27:02

That I never saw crying were crying. I was

27:04

like, what the Heck's going on? And I

27:07

wrote so much poetry. I

27:10

was like where did this come from? So now

27:12

I have a poetry bundle that I'm a release

27:15

somewhere this year.

27:16

Yes.

27:17

Can I ask for singer songwriters? For

27:19

songwriters?

27:20

Yes?

27:20

Is it the melody first or is it the

27:23

words first? What comes

27:25

first? In your process?

27:26

There is there is no one good answer,

27:29

because sometimes she could be sitting

27:32

in the Metro and you hear someone screaming

27:34

like all right, and just that that whole

27:37

emotion with the a's like, oh shit,

27:39

I'm remembering the conversation with my mom

27:41

and there was a similar shout. And then

27:44

you start with a situation from the past

27:46

and then you start writing. But it

27:48

could also be like you're just behind

27:50

a piano just jamming and then just

27:53

the melody that the combination of

27:55

the notes just resonate with the emotion

27:57

and then you start writing from there. So

28:00

there is not one good answer because

28:02

everything that we do with music it's borrowed,

28:04

right, like all the ideas in this whole

28:06

freaking matrix. It's just a gift.

28:09

It's like, what do you think about this? What

28:11

would you do with this? Like all these easter eggs

28:13

and you just pick them. So it could

28:15

be music, could be words, it could be a

28:18

situation, present, past or future.

28:20

Sometimes imagination. I have

28:22

a few sells. People are like, who's this about them?

28:25

Like, I don't know yet, right,

28:28

still got to meet the guy, you know. So yeah,

28:31

I really believe in creating your

28:33

own reality. So yeah, did I

28:35

answer your question?

28:36

You answered it so well.

28:38

Yeah.

28:39

So in Holland, do you feel that the arts

28:42

are actually supported

28:44

in America? It's like a blood

28:46

sport. We have to be the best or there's

28:48

no time for development.

28:49

No, it's not really supported. Here.

28:51

Wow.

28:52

I even think that the more

28:54

you shine, the more you have to be

28:56

very careful to protect

28:58

yourself. I feel I

29:01

like the more I did in the United States,

29:03

the more quiet I became

29:05

in my home country.

29:07

Wow.

29:07

I can walk the streets and nobody knows

29:09

who I am. Like, I'm trying not to be on

29:12

television or too much of this and too much

29:14

of that. That's what I said to Michelle. There's

29:16

nothing here, baby, Yeah,

29:18

come here with retirement. Just live

29:20

the soft life.

29:22

Yeah.

29:23

Yeah, it's the comfort mentality.

29:25

Just be calm and be comfortable and

29:28

don't want too much. That's the

29:30

culture here.

29:31

It's a special spot, you know when people

29:33

talk about the Sandwich years, or the years where

29:35

you're old enough to take care of your parents

29:37

and then also your kids.

29:39

Amsterdam for me, no

29:42

shade to people.

29:43

In Europe, I love y'all, dubbitch,

29:45

but it feels like a Sandwich year. It's

29:48

like a beautiful place to grow up, and

29:50

then you go away and you

29:52

experience realized shit, and then you

29:54

go back and come back and have your hairing every day and

29:57

your hot capitee and all that bullshit.

29:59

You know what I mean.

30:01

That's what it kind of feels like.

30:03

A lot of people will ask Jordan and I,

30:05

how do I become a comedian? How do I make money

30:08

doing comedy? How do I become an actor? How to different

30:10

writer? There's really no one answer, Like you

30:12

said, you just have to do what you do, and also

30:14

like just trust your creativity and let it flow

30:16

out of you. And what I love about Nicle

30:18

is that I don't remember when

30:21

or how or why. But at one point You're like, if

30:23

I wasn't a singer, I would open a bakery.

30:26

Yes, I would just be bacon bread.

30:29

All day. Yeah.

30:31

And I was like, fuck, yeah, bitch, because like that is

30:33

also the same thing, where you're creating something

30:35

and it's different every time. There is a formula,

30:37

but then you put your own twist on it. Yes, yes,

30:39

you just trust that it's hot enough

30:42

and this and that and the guidance, the salt and the yeast

30:44

and the women.

30:44

And I was like, yeah, yeah, I fucking get that.

30:46

Look at Michelle exposing my retirement

30:48

plans over here. If

30:52

it's one thing a bitch is gonna do any

30:54

investors in listening, I'm interested.

30:57

It's the reboot a British break office that bake

31:00

off It was so funny because when you did say

31:02

that it was actually hot in Holland

31:05

because of climate change, and I was like,

31:07

I feel like I'm baking bread in my pants, but nobody

31:09

want to hear that the whole ass

31:11

buttery croissop between my legs that Paul

31:14

Hollywood wanted nothing to do with. And I was

31:16

like, it's not bread weak, all

31:20

right, Nicole, what a fucking mess. So our

31:22

audience members ask us questions about

31:25

adulting, and we try to answer them.

31:27

I don't know why they trust us, They just do. They

31:29

have kind eyes, which they can definitely tell through

31:31

a podcast.

31:32

The first question is how long

31:35

it's too long to have your nails?

31:37

Oh oh baby, your

31:40

own nails, your own nails, No.

31:43

Short it is, or you gotta

31:45

be very clean.

31:47

If you can't wipe your ass, then they too

31:49

long. Agree if you can't do basic

31:51

shit like how is cardib out here changing

31:54

diapers? She's got claws,

31:57

Like, I don't understand.

31:58

She's paying someone.

32:00

Come on, Claws are hot. Clouds are

32:02

hot. Though. I like to see claws in the city.

32:04

That's the thing. They're like for the gaze

32:06

of men.

32:07

Because I know a lot of lesbians who are like, get

32:09

that shit away from my couchie, Like nobody wants

32:11

to perapst mean, I'm trying to hook up,

32:14

do you know what I mean? It's just like, how

32:16

much like alcohol wipes do we really

32:18

need? How long it's too long to

32:20

have your nails?

32:21

Baby?

32:21

I don't know, Try some press ons and

32:24

see how your day goes.

32:25

Yes, if you can't type on your computer.

32:28

That's a no go. If you can't type, can

32:30

go to the bathroom without not feeling

32:32

comfortable? Like, I think everything on

32:34

your body should be for your own comfort first

32:37

off.

32:37

Ooh baby.

32:39

And if it's not serving your

32:42

comfortness in a sense, don't

32:44

get me wrong. I love femininity, I love makeup

32:46

and all that kind of stuff.

32:47

Yeah, but if.

32:48

It's too long. I play guitar, so

32:50

for me, it's already a no go. Like, how do I play

32:52

guitar with ten inch nails?

32:55

No?

32:55

Yeah?

32:56

Also, I feel like the only people that really like long

32:58

nails are like, you're doing it for man,

33:00

It's like, why am I putting heels on? Get the fuck

33:02

out with this bunion? Go fuck yourself. You

33:04

put the heels on, bro, I don't

33:06

know. There's something asmr about

33:08

the click clack and a click clack clack clack clack on

33:11

a phone.

33:12

Lady's got nails?

33:13

What like, I'm on the phone with Delta trying to rebook

33:15

my ticket.

33:15

I'm good. Even that clickity clack

33:18

on.

33:18

The phone gives me anxiety where I'm just like, am

33:20

I gonna get the middle seat or the aisle seat?

33:23

Bitch? You don't know with all that click clacking

33:25

one seat, I'm gonna fuck have because my body's

33:27

too big for the middle seat. Bitch. Look,

33:29

I'm gonna be breastfeeting everybody.

33:31

I guess I got the wrong answer.

33:33

No, No, they're all the right answers.

33:36

Yeah, just get a really long nail for your middle

33:38

finger. That's all you fucking need.

33:40

Okay, Jordan, next question.

33:45

Okay, next question?

33:46

What's the question?

33:48

I'm doing it?

33:49

How do I tell my best friend she needs

33:51

to clean her bathroom more often? Oh

33:54

shit, it makes me not want to go

33:56

over to her place?

33:57

Exclamation point?

33:59

Oh yeah, louck.

34:01

You know they say, like a bird of a feat of flock

34:03

together.

34:04

How did you guys meet in

34:07

a bathroom?

34:07

Like? All my friends are so clean? Like

34:10

sometimes my mom left up mad because she thinks

34:12

I'm too clean. I mean, I can

34:14

have children and they can do their stuff, but I love

34:16

to have a clean area. And all

34:19

my friends are like that. So let's

34:21

start there.

34:22

Like, you know, I think there's different

34:24

levels of like there's messy, there's

34:26

like I've had a long week, and then there's like,

34:28

oh I never get the surface, like there's

34:31

tears of cleanliness. And so

34:33

the bathroom is definitely like a very personal

34:35

subject for everybody.

34:37

But this is not personal anymore, Michelle,

34:39

Yeah, this is not Sorry the Caribbean

34:42

getting out of me. It is not personal

34:44

anymore. If you don't want to go

34:46

to someone's house because of the toilet, are you freaking

34:49

kidding me? I know what are we talking

34:51

about.

34:51

I've had friends like this where I'm like, have you ever lifted

34:54

your seat? It is Pandora's box

34:56

of bacteria under there?

34:58

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

35:00

Honestly, I think it's two things.

35:02

I think it's one the way someone was raised,

35:05

and two depression. When

35:07

you're depressed, you don't see stuff around you.

35:10

That's a whole different thing.

35:11

Yeah, So how do I tell

35:13

my best friend she needs to clean her bathroom more

35:15

often?

35:16

Maybe just start a conversation why it isn't

35:18

clean at the first place, Like why

35:21

does she feel the urged clean?

35:23

Like start?

35:24

Maybe their soft talk shit,

35:26

you know, like I'm maybe too Dutch,

35:29

I'm too direct. Maybe that is a Dutch

35:31

answer.

35:32

If I like that Dutch answer.

35:34

You got the Dutch answers on this episode.

35:38

Enough of the American.

35:39

Shit, Oh my god, why do you

35:41

feel you're so disgusting?

35:44

I would make up a whole ass, like

35:46

you know what I heard about an equal eye outbreak

35:48

in people's bathrooms that they wasn't cleaning

35:51

and stuff.

35:52

I would make some shit up, you know.

35:54

I think presenting like an article

35:56

or something, it's sort of like a way to like

35:58

get over that.

35:59

Hum.

35:59

I think it's like I can't do your bathroom anymore.

36:01

I can't and putting that out there, you're

36:04

just like I can't do it. I love you, I can't

36:06

do it.

36:06

And then they're like, oh my gosh.

36:08

And what if they would be like why what would you

36:10

say, Jordan?

36:11

I would just be like, you know what, your bathroom's

36:14

it's cringe, it's giving ick.

36:15

I love you.

36:16

Yeah.

36:17

I have a beautiful friend. She has beautiful

36:19

curly hair. She's Puerto rican. She never cut her hair.

36:21

Her mom never cut her hair. She was like, you don't cut your hair.

36:23

She didn't want to straighten her hair. I'm like, do something different

36:25

with it. And then so we went on a trip. I think we

36:27

went to Argentina. It was her thirtieth birthday. I'm

36:29

like, this is what I'm doing for you. I'm buying you a

36:31

purse and I'm getting you a hair

36:34

appointment. So they did a little trim and they straightened

36:36

her hair. And she would never have done it for herself

36:38

because she was always taught, don't do it, don't spend

36:40

money on it.

36:41

DAA.

36:41

She just was a different person. Everything was

36:43

different, the walk, the talk, the swagger.

36:46

And then she made an appointment once a month

36:49

every month to get her hair dumb because she just

36:51

loved that feeling right. And I

36:53

think sometimes you just have to do it for people,

36:56

force them into that. And so I would probably hire

36:58

a cleaning crew just to

37:00

be like, this was present for you. I

37:03

know you're busy, you don't got time to touch the surfaces.

37:06

She probably would even see it and then all of a sudden, it's clean. You're

37:08

like, oh fuck, I don't even know it was like this cleans I've been living

37:10

like this.

37:10

What you gonna say, Jordan.

37:12

It's so funny because we were renovating our

37:14

house. We had to live with my father in law. My my

37:16

father in law is the house that my wife grew up in, and

37:18

she will be the first to tell you that it is.

37:20

It is so close to getting condemned. It's funny.

37:23

So like we're on the top floor and

37:25

he's like, yeah, you just used the bathroom,

37:27

right, and you got a good bathroom. Here I go in

37:29

the bathroom. It was like from saw oh

37:32

god. I went on to whatever

37:35

it was Craigslist, hired a guy. He came

37:37

up and for one hundred and fifty dollars. For one hundred

37:39

and fifty dollars, all right, this is twenty

37:41

fifteen dollars. This man cleaned out the

37:44

entire bathroom. He was soaking, sweating. He was

37:46

a good man, a good man. And from

37:48

that day on, after that, my

37:50

father in law goes, you know what, we got to

37:52

renovate this bathroom. He renovated

37:54

the whole floor. Do you understand nice? That

37:56

can start like a whole chain reaction.

37:59

You planted that seed and it'll grow

38:01

into something positive.

38:02

So do that, bitch.

38:03

Next question, Yes, my boyfriend,

38:06

I can't talk about bathroom shitting.

38:07

No, Mom, I'm itching my

38:09

noses.

38:11

I'm trying to get to a.

38:13

Bitch,

38:18

Michelle, get the steering

38:20

wheel.

38:21

Jesus, stop, but to stop, signed, Jesus. Okay,

38:24

down, Jesus.

38:25

Make a last but just take the lawn down.

38:27

Jesus.

38:28

Make a laugh, Jesus.

38:30

Put on your seat, Jesus, Jesus Christ.

38:33

Oh, hurts man, This no

38:35

joke. Oh Jesus.

38:37

Sorry, last question, last question.

38:39

We gotta wrap it up. This is too much.

38:42

Now my eye itches. Oh my god. Okay,

38:44

oh boy, question,

38:49

I'm trying to bitch. Okay.

38:53

My boyfriend and I I am

38:55

a twenty seven year old woman.

38:56

Thank you for the info.

38:57

Have been together for two years and it's the

38:59

first intimate, loving, truly healthy

39:01

relationship I've been in. He wants me to eat

39:04

him out his butthole, but the problem

39:06

is it is stanky.

39:07

Oh god, oh my god.

39:14

We've been getting a flood of these kind

39:16

of questions.

39:17

Everybody's asking up for the new YEARY I

39:20

want to eat him out.

39:21

That's nice.

39:22

It sounds like fun exclamation point, but

39:24

I don't know how to sexily

39:27

ask him to wipe his butt before I get in

39:29

there.

39:29

Any advice?

39:31

Oh my god, I'm not the right person

39:33

to answer that stuff because I'm into parasites

39:36

and cleansing your call own. That's a no

39:38

go area already. Like just the

39:40

idea of the.

39:42

No booty play, the parasites.

39:44

Have you ever done a colonex or that

39:46

you did like klismas like we cly,

39:49

I love.

39:49

That this is where we go.

39:50

We were literally asking for ass play and she's like,

39:52

let me just tell you how to clean the booty though, which

39:55

is good.

39:55

Yes, So if you want to do it, Klisma,

39:58

go ahead. Do some coffee Cliss, coffee.

40:01

Taste, Coffee clus by C's

40:04

Coffee cleans.

40:05

For some reason, I'm getting targeted ads.

40:07

Where are we going?

40:08

I don't know if my wife is doing whatever, but

40:11

getting targeted ads about Loom and Loom

40:13

is a deodorant for your butthole. They

40:16

do not sponsor this show, Loom. If

40:18

you're listening, send it my way. Loom

40:21

is definitely listening.

40:22

That might be the answer. Do coffee

40:24

cluss mus baby wipes and

40:26

Loom.

40:27

Yes, So, okay, we have to answer this

40:29

question seriously.

40:30

Well, I would get him a little thing a loom. Oh

40:34

yeah, we get him a little thing a loom.

40:35

Like, I didn't know that's what you were saying. I thought you were just sharing.

40:37

I didn't know.

40:38

No, no, no, it's just going

40:41

towards a purpose.

40:42

So like I would get the boyfriend

40:45

either a costco you know, version of this,

40:47

just like get him a six pack and be like, listen.

40:49

I think twenty seven is the perfect age

40:51

to a be in a decent

40:53

relationship. Be start speaking

40:56

up for your voice, whether it is at

40:58

work or in the bedroom or with your parents.

41:01

This is like when I really started to learn boundaries

41:03

with my family. Like, I'm not that

41:06

girl anymore. Now I'm truly a young

41:08

woman. I'm paying for my own

41:10

way, and I'm talking about what I want and how

41:12

like I'm seeing my future.

41:14

Because some when you enter a new decade,

41:16

you're like, no, not this anymore. I

41:18

want that.

41:19

Yes.

41:20

And so if you are down to clown

41:22

and you're not afraid of or worried

41:25

about parasites, which y'all should be looking

41:27

up, I think it's perfectly

41:29

okay to say, look, I am down

41:31

to do all that. But we need to be clean, clean, clean,

41:33

clean, right, like when I used to have when I stands, I used

41:35

to like throw people in the shower. But I also

41:38

love taking showers with people because that's how you

41:40

learn what kind of person they are. It's it's like are you giving

41:42

me more water? Are you soaping me up? Are

41:44

you giving?

41:45

Orre you taking? Who gonna be?

41:47

So?

41:48

I think this is a perfect time to call. And also you can't

41:50

have the six without the nine. Just get in there and make

41:52

it up a fee for everybody.

41:53

Truly, I agree.

41:54

I think the shower id Michelle

41:57

is perfect. Just take a shower with

41:59

the two of you. It's like romantic four play

42:01

stuff and just make sure you

42:03

scrub with an extra Oh do you say

42:06

clop taking my baby? Let me scrub

42:08

your bag?

42:09

Yeah, you get in there and wash it.

42:11

Yes.

42:13

I just want to say, like in this house, we

42:15

believe you gotta get clean to get dirty. So when

42:17

we take a shower together, it's always like she leaves

42:19

the shower a little bit prior to when I leave the shower.

42:21

I'm like, I'm right there, you

42:24

know. And then that's when you really go

42:26

to town scrub the garage.

42:28

You get it nice and you know, spiffy and a Jeff.

42:31

Great, you

42:38

gotta clean out the garage, are

42:43

you all?

42:45

Oh my god, Nicole.

42:53

We asked all our listeners, We

42:59

ask all our at our

43:01

listeners, our guests. That's all our guests.

43:05

We that's all our guests at the end of the show.

43:07

And I'm sorry to say that this is the end of the show.

43:09

Nicole.

43:09

You've been such an outstanding guest. If

43:12

you have not listened to her music, please get

43:14

it right away.

43:15

Oh, she gets to the question, Jordan, I

43:17

got a peek.

43:18

Is the question? What's the question of the day.

43:20

What do you want to do for yourself this year? Nicole?

43:23

The most adult thing you want to do for yourself, the

43:25

most grown up thing you want to.

43:26

Do that you haven't had time to do. And it could be anything.

43:28

It could be big, it could be small, it could

43:31

be medium sized, plus size.

43:33

We don't care. It doesn't matter. What's the most

43:35

adult thing you want to do for yourself.

43:36

I want so many things, but let me say just one thing.

43:39

I want to go and find myself

43:41

a farm in the mountains of Italy.

43:43

That's what I want to do. Okay, Oh, that's

43:48

it.

43:48

I mean, all up in the Dolomites.

43:50

What in the black rom com. That's amazing.

43:53

Under the Tusco sun, well, bitch, you better put all

43:55

sun blocks.

43:56

Hey, thank

43:59

you so much.

43:59

You are the well.

44:00

Thank you for having me.

44:08

Oh my god, isn't she lovely?

44:09

Also, like I didn't know so many people have so

44:11

many questions about ask Yeah, like

44:14

ask.

44:15

Me a question.

44:16

Yeah, that should just be a

44:18

segment on the show. Now, I gotta ask you

44:20

a question. Ask the world

44:22

terms my god.

44:25

Wait, wait, don't ask no,

44:29

No, it's already too much. It's already too much. It

44:32

is so nice hanging out with people

44:35

from other countries.

44:35

Yes, I'm just saying other culture.

44:38

Okay, Phoebe Robinson, please please.

44:43

I'm sorry, fat out, fat out to Phoebe

44:46

Robinson.

44:46

What's happening? My brain is broke. Y'all

44:48

officially broke me.

44:50

My takeaways from this episode besides

44:53

ask play and parasites is, uh,

44:58

I'm listening. But I do love

45:00

is when people are very mindful

45:03

with their words and their intentions and even what

45:05

they put in their body and who

45:07

they hang out with and where they go. And so she's

45:10

constantly working on not only

45:12

how to be a better person but a better artist. Yeah,

45:15

and sort of figure out like her

45:17

voice in the world, and so that like always inspires

45:20

me to do the same because I don't think a lot

45:22

before I say, I just say it, yeah

45:24

and hope for the best.

45:26

Yeah, you know, when she's expressing herself,

45:28

I felt a certain kind of like circumspection

45:32

another big word, but it

45:34

just means.

45:36

She was deliberate in those words. Yeah,

45:39

and and overall, Yeah,

45:41

she was like the.

45:42

Resources that I have time, my

45:44

words this moment, I'm

45:46

going to take them pretty seriously, you

45:49

know.

45:49

Yeah, I love that, which I think we should all be

45:51

a little bit more responsible with her shit.

45:53

Wouldn't the world be a better.

45:54

Place, Oh, people took actual accountability and

45:56

responsibility, Yeah, it

45:59

would be.

46:00

It would be different.

46:01

And I'm ready for that level of different because

46:04

right now everybody, you know, they

46:06

don't do it and they blame it on others.

46:07

And that's what we're teaching our next generation.

46:11

Isn't that insane?

46:12

It's great, But then we also were giving

46:14

them the vocabulary to like never take

46:16

responsibilities. So the amount

46:18

of times I've heard gaslighting in

46:20

the last month, I'm like, do you.

46:22

Know what it is?

46:23

Do you know what it is?

46:25

Anyways, at this point, it's just so normalized,

46:28

yeah, that you really have to take

46:30

a step back and like even

46:32

if you are wrong, maybe in your

46:35

estimation or from your ego's point of

46:37

view, Yeah, maybe taking some accountability

46:39

or saying like I played a.

46:40

Part, oh, you

46:44

know correctly. Is

46:47

there something I want to don't

46:49

want it? No, I'm just kidding.

46:50

Is there something I want to tell you? I think I can definitely

46:52

do that more often. I need to do that more

46:54

often. M hmm, Like stop letting

46:57

my ego control the rest and

47:00

just like be like, dude, I know

47:02

it hurts, it burns in your blood right now, but

47:04

like, yeah, it'll.

47:06

Be fine, and we don't have to fix things right away.

47:08

We could just like say what bothers us

47:10

and let it be, you know, circle back

47:12

to it and figure it out. We don't have to always fix

47:15

it. And I think a lot of people, especially

47:18

men, are like, well, let's fix it right

47:20

now.

47:20

Mm hmm.

47:20

Sometimes you can. Sometimes you just have to like sit

47:23

in it and then we figure out how to get it together.

47:25

The answer won't present itself right away, yeah,

47:27

absolutely.

47:28

And I feel like a lot of like not just women,

47:30

but also just a lot of people I work with are like, well,

47:32

I don't want to bring it up again, so I'll just do it and then they burn

47:35

themselves out and it's just like you gotta

47:37

just.

47:37

Also brought it up, you know. Yeah, yeah,

47:40

I always do this tactic.

47:41

It's a tactic on myself really, So if

47:43

I have to take accountability, I am doing it. But

47:45

I'm kind of like taking the piss, as they say

47:48

in England, where it's like if

47:50

wifey's right about something, yeah, when does

47:52

that happen? But when she is

47:55

and I've been wrong, m I'll say I'm

47:57

going to take a break from being right all the time and just

48:00

I'm sorry, you know, like or.

48:02

You're right boy.

48:04

And it actually works, thank

48:06

god, because it like first

48:09

sues the little little monster in me. Yeah,

48:11

and then like you know what, the moment passes

48:14

and you did apologize or you were accountable for

48:16

this that and the third Yeah, you know that's

48:18

that's what it is.

48:19

Yeah, find your way, find

48:21

your way, y'all.

48:22

Yeah.

48:22

I'm not into right and wrong. I'm

48:25

not into doing the right thing I'm doing. I'm into

48:27

doing what feels good for me.

48:29

Mm hmmm.

48:30

So like that's the place I come from,

48:33

and you're doing it well, Sis, thank you so much.

48:35

You've got to proven track record. You take care of

48:37

yourself. You are selfish

48:39

in the best ways. Yeah, and

48:42

that's a good thing.

48:43

You know.

48:43

Well, I'm gonna go have my caviar sandwich.

48:46

So oh uh?

48:52

Are you fucking serious?

48:54

You know I'm not.

48:55

No, I'm not okay. Are

48:58

we still eating caviar? Isn't it just inhumane?

49:01

Do we call it? Rono? I don't know.

49:03

It's like having pets or we still I actually

49:05

have to go. Okay, good for you. I'm

49:07

glad you have something to do.

49:08

Yeah, I got good news and I have to go. I

49:10

got a meeting and I gotta go.

49:11

Bye. It's good to see you. Congratulations,

49:14

I love you, Love you too. This

49:19

has been an exactly right production. Our senior

49:22

producer is g Howley.

49:23

Art Associate producer is Christina Chamberlain.

49:25

This episode was mixed by John Bradley.

49:28

Our guest booker is Patrick Cotner. Additional

49:30

production support from Hannah Kyle Crichton. Theme

49:32

song and live show DJing is by DJ don

49:35

Will.

49:35

Artwork by Jamie.

49:36

Bechtel, Photography by Reis

49:39

vander Most.

49:40

Executive produced by Karen kilgera Georgia

49:42

Hartstark, and Daniel Kramer.

49:44

Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting the

49:46

Pod.

49:46

Email your questions to Adulting Questions

49:48

at gmail dot com.

49:50

Mmm mm