0:02

Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy.

0:04

This Cole Stratton here filling in once

0:06

again for Kevin Pollock, who was off shooting three

0:09

thousand miles to Graceland to Elvis

0:11

has left the building smut

0:13

Alchemists for today. She knows exactly

0:16

where Carmen san Diego is. Vanessa Ragland

0:19

the what makes you such a good gum shoot? I

0:21

guess there's my innate curiosity,

0:26

Thank you. Next,

0:29

he owns fifty one percent of Candy Land.

0:31

Joey Greer, Oh my god, Joey,

0:33

what's come Drop Mountain like this time of year?

0:36

It's honestly, it's a fucking hell hole. Okay,

0:40

it's the middle of summer. It's you don't want to be there,

0:42

sticky, sticky. Next

0:45

up, he saw crocodile Dundee six times

0:47

in the theater. Mark Gagliardi, Good night,

0:49

Mark. Is this a

0:51

knife? That's not a knife? This

0:55

is a nice

0:59

I'm not supposed to carry this with me in the studio. Finally,

1:04

he took the Pepsi challenge and now he owns

1:06

the company Craig Koski. Craig,

1:09

what variation of kola have you cooked up? Next?

1:13

Uh, Cacola it's

1:18

my own secret family recipe. What's

1:21

in it? Uh? My secret family

1:27

drinking drink PEPSI

1:30

took a turn. All right, let's get to our

1:32

first scene. All of today's scene suggestions were

1:34

gathered from our listeners emails. If you'd like to submit

1:36

yours, please write to the podcast at your name

1:38

here at alchemy this dot com. That's your name

1:40

here at alchemy this dot com.

1:43

Our first scene comes from Shiler I

1:45

believe or Skylar not sure who wrote

1:47

Dear Alchemists. I'm a very huge fan of

1:49

the magic that you, beautiful people are able to spew

1:51

from your mouths with amazing grace. I

1:53

recently learned something that I thought would make a good scene.

1:56

Apparently, during the Industrial Revolution,

1:59

many formerly lower class British people

2:01

came to an influx of money. Even though they

2:03

had more money, they still spoken away that marked

2:05

them as a commoner. So in order to separate

2:07

themselves from the poor, they developed a new posh

2:10

way of speaking, and it eventually

2:12

spread like wildfire. What I think would

2:14

be a good scene is a discussion between a committee

2:16

of people who are trying to say how they're going to

2:18

separate themselves from the poor. Hopefully

2:21

This wasn't too long of an email and it makes the cut.

2:23

Thanks for all the last Skyler. Ps.

2:26

I'm an inspiring artist on Instagram and was inspired

2:28

to drop my own version of the alchemy this logo. Hope

2:30

you all enjoy. What's her hand? Where

2:33

is it? They didn't share that, or

2:35

if they did, Kevin didn't include it. So

2:38

find out. We gotta find out. We'll find it out. We'll find out for a

2:40

future episode. A

2:43

little boy and I want those fur

2:46

coats. She got off that you

2:48

want a fur coat? Yeah,

2:51

going you know you

2:53

can't buy a fur coat. And my

2:55

son was said, he wants the boy fur coat. You're

2:57

gonna get my son a fur coat. Actually

3:00

no, we don't have to. We can reshoot service to anyone,

3:02

like please go back to the street urchins. Then

3:06

it's always coined Dana threw

3:10

money at me, boy, poor

3:13

boy. You must have stolen that, your poor poor

3:15

boy. I don't talk to my son like that.

3:17

Poor father, poor poor father. Money

3:21

at you too, money, money,

3:23

money, I don't get it. We might be your money

3:25

now. We should be living the law. I

3:28

know, but we just keep getting pushed.

3:33

Look at tell more money from

3:36

money at it? I don't know what it is. It's

3:38

like people don't want to respect us anymore.

3:40

Son, I don't know what it is. I

3:43

think it might be that way

3:48

look different, that we

3:50

look different than everyone else. We get

3:52

a fair car than than

3:54

now that we are there the

3:57

sound of your voices, please please get out.

4:00

Look, my name's Danny Dyer. You're

4:02

gonna remember me. You're gonna know

4:04

I. That's right, you're gonna remember my

4:07

boy, Danny Dyer. I hardly

4:09

think I need to remember Danny Dyer

4:11

out of my first story about

4:14

here. It's something about us that's

4:16

a little different. Well, she did

4:19

say that your voice was a bit clawing.

4:21

Yeah, yeah,

4:25

where did you get that fair coat? I

4:28

nicked it, but I paid for it. You're

4:30

nected, boy, you're paid for it. Yeh. The money,

4:33

Yeah, but I grabbed that on the way out.

4:35

Why did you get the money? Working? Or

4:37

it's an influxor manning now to those lower

4:40

classes created a middle class because

4:42

of the Yeah, don't

4:44

you know about the industrial revolution? Or

4:48

didn't get to participant in there? You didn't

4:50

get to participate in industrial revolution.

4:52

It's not like it's not like a thing that you

4:54

just signed up and heard a punch card for it.

4:57

It's happening all around us. What is

4:59

it? Does? What's happening all around

5:01

us? I don't see it, lads,

5:03

I gotta be going to the off his job. But

5:06

me, wow, beginning

5:09

can type fast with them fingerless gloves

5:12

stairs and Davy. You see

5:14

all these smoke stacks, Yeah,

5:16

you seem alm s going

5:18

around? Yeah, or the steam

5:20

power that's spewing out the

5:22

tops of buildings makings wandering about

5:25

their See industrial revolution,

5:27

mate, you're in the middle of it. So you're

5:29

saying arm loader class and your

5:31

middle class. Yeah, it turns out there's

5:33

a thing now called the middle class. My. Yeah,

5:36

it's not just kings in popas anymore.

5:38

My. Well that's bloody confusing.

5:41

Yeah, because we sound the same.

5:43

Well that's how That's why he got the

5:45

fur coats, so he know he's better than you

5:48

than your fur coat

5:50

kick talk boys, what

5:54

don't mind me, I'm just reading the Piggins

5:58

peace in mate. It's got a lot of wars

6:00

crying of dude. Don't so

6:04

your son has had a stroke? What you

6:06

must have seen it coming for years then? I

6:08

thought that might have been what was going on. Yeah,

6:11

look is that now that we are middle class people.

6:14

The middle class people get a certain medicine.

6:16

It's better than the regular when the regular folks

6:19

get Yeah, you get the name brand. You don't get to generic

6:21

equivalent. Then oh good, what's the name

6:23

brand version of fixed my son's

6:25

stroke? Uh,

6:28

stroker stroke or stroker

6:30

ice, stroker race. It's

6:33

the best medicine you can really, it's

6:35

stroker Race. Are you? I feel

6:37

like you might be messing with me because still

6:39

lower class. I've got burned before. We went in a

6:42

in a first shop and a lady wouldn't want

6:44

to service. Give him the stroker Ace

6:48

generic stroke medicine. He's poor,

6:51

he's very that's the thing. Though they've made

6:53

my money. Then that's not see, that's the thing.

6:55

That's exactly what we're coming up against. I'm

6:57

sorry, I can't hear you. I'm

7:00

literally talking and I'm too free away

7:03

talking to my associated pharmacist. Look,

7:05

if you come back and you can prove that you've become

7:08

higher class, we'll give you the stroke race. Otherwise

7:10

you get the Kirkland. Well

7:13

I do like that. I mean the chocolate almonds by the Kirkland

7:15

are pretty good. Get the chocolate almonds, but the

7:17

Kirkland. I don't know about the Kirkland stroke medicine.

7:19

It's not good. You know we're gonna

7:22

do it. My son and I, Danny

7:24

Dyer and Danny Dyer Senior,

7:26

Daniel and Danny is what we go by.

7:29

We're going to prove to you that we

7:31

are upper class. You don't have to

7:33

drag your drooling son out of here.

7:36

Now repeat after me. Kirkland

7:39

chocolate almonds, Kirkland

7:41

chocolate almonds, Kirkland chocolate

7:44

almonds, Kirkland chocolate almonds.

7:47

Good, good, Now you're Danny Jr. Current.

7:52

It's gonna be a bit tougher in dr riggans. He

7:54

had a stroke battle.

7:56

Yes, rolling

7:59

over, we'll try this. I'd

8:01

like a vial of Stroker race of

8:07

stronger. No, no, said

8:09

simply no. Good professor. Yes,

8:12

there's a big party tonight to do. When

8:14

you're invited, you can bring two guests.

8:18

Fancy. This

8:20

seems like the right moment for us to prove

8:23

how fancy we can be. Perhaps I

8:25

can pass the two of you offers sophisticated.

8:28

Do you think it will work? Well?

8:31

We better get cracking. We've we've

8:33

only got a few hours, right, gentlemen,

8:37

I'll take your monocles. Yes,

8:40

um, right,

8:42

here it goes my monocle

8:44

for you, good man, and a tip for your

8:46

service, Thank you much. How

8:48

are we doing so far? Professor? You don't check

8:51

your monocles? That what? Yes,

8:53

this is a plant. He works for me, Yes,

8:56

you work for the professors. You did, both

8:58

of you. God damn it. Hold

9:00

on your monocles, we professor?

9:03

How you doing by?

9:05

I was seeing you in a blue moon?

9:08

Well? Hello by by an

9:11

army. Now let's then tell you man, if

9:13

you want to get it right, you've got

9:15

to smoke it. It's a feast that's

9:17

only got to do. I

9:20

don't understand anything understanding. I've

9:22

known him for he's

9:24

two boys, a fine slogs as

9:28

soon as that a stroke he has. Yes,

9:35

my son is at a stroke. Yeah

9:37

this morning. Yeah. I beg you

9:40

know, to get him something good for it. Then don't

9:42

give him the strokery. We

9:45

got a lot of it there, don't. You've

9:47

got a lot of stroker race? Hey, we

9:49

got a surplus. No, he's part I

9:52

can tell he's a part by. Hey,

9:56

they come back and you approved, that's wealthy.

9:58

We'll get you race how any different?

10:00

Just do we have to go to tell us the same

10:03

damn thing. All right,

10:05

we'll prove to you Scottish doctor

10:07

and an Irish nurse. You well

10:10

proved and

10:12

we'll prove to that the doctor. Well

10:15

you're back, are you? Yeah?

10:17

We got the work. Yes,

10:20

yes, you embarrassed me at that society

10:22

board. But I'm terribly sorry. But

10:25

everyone saw you'll check your monocles at the door.

10:27

Oh that was the problem. I was humiliated.

10:30

Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, professor,

10:33

I'm sorry doctor. We my

10:35

son and I were just trying to get him some medicine

10:37

for a stroke. Yes,

10:40

everyone's going to know the name Danny Dyer,

10:44

not in a positive way. Well,

10:47

I never thought of that. I guess

10:49

were for people to know your name,

10:51

that's not hard. Well, what can we

10:54

do to get people to know the name all

10:57

round? All round? To

11:00

have a festival of the King and

11:02

Queen? All her names will be drawn

11:05

from a hat said aloud, and fame will

11:07

be bestoned. Now,

11:10

make sure you write your name in a llegible

11:12

script that is obviously of an

11:15

upper class, and then from

11:17

there I will read it. Right, Danny,

11:19

write your name down all

11:21

right? Yeah? The stroke that's probably not going to be superas

11:24

were you right handed before? You

11:27

have write your son's name. I couldn't

11:29

help it over here, but good

11:31

luck getting chosen. I've been

11:33

taken calligraphy for forty two

11:35

years because I'm sure my name

11:38

will kitten chosen. Sure, just

11:40

like when you play bingo, if you wrote

11:42

be four in real fancy calligraphy

11:44

letters, that's bound together. What you're talking about.

11:47

You're a peasant. Bring out your names,

11:50

bring out your name right here

11:52

we go, Dire,

11:56

just for fun, Daniel Dire. You

11:59

know what. He helped us out a lot, Dr

12:02

Higgins. All

12:05

names have been accounted for. The drawing

12:07

shot against it. There you are all

12:10

right, going to the names.

12:16

First nime to be read aloud and

12:18

find bestowed upon them

12:22

Rosalind, Rosalind, Rosalind.

12:30

It's nothing at all, Thank you so much. Second

12:33

night to be fined. What

12:37

soul? It is? This

12:40

right? Is it of the upper class?

12:42

It's righting the bold

12:46

scandal. Mr

12:50

Daniel Dawyer. We should

12:52

string him up. No, I'm just trying it.

12:55

I'm just trying to get me in a Danny

12:57

Dayer. Be

13:00

together, and the Professor Higgins

13:03

on aware his houses. Let's go to it,

13:05

all of us, the

13:10

rain in Spain's days mainly

13:13

and that what the rain? That was a good

13:15

one.

13:16

Are

13:22

you, Professor Higgins? Yes,

13:24

yes, you have coming to trees and Higgin the

13:27

clown. Come

13:30

god. Look, I could identify an accent

13:33

within two hundred kilometers

13:36

of London, and I have no idea where

13:38

you're from. Then you have no idea

13:40

how high?

13:45

Boys? Everybody murdering? Everybody? Well,

13:48

I gotta say for me and my son, Danny

13:50

Diet whose name you will remember, it's probably

13:52

a good thing that guy that we don't know where's from was just

13:55

killed brutally. He seemed to be the one

13:57

running his mob were

13:59

now out. I don't know what. We've

14:02

got a whole mom together. Who are we going to kill?

14:04

Learn singer strong? What

14:06

are he saying? Did he say, let's sing a

14:09

song? I understood that. Let's do what

14:11

Danny boy here says. Wait. Wait's

14:13

a good idea, Danny

14:16

boy, Danny Boy,

14:18

Oh, Danny Boy,

14:22

bye, Sory,

14:26

you'll remember this song forever and

14:28

get your stroker race at

14:31

the pharmacy. It's

14:33

beautiful, Professor Higgins, thank

14:35

you for beautiful boys.

14:38

Wait a second, Danny you're

14:40

talking. Oh my um, he's

14:43

so kay, Danny,

14:45

my son, you've killed You've

14:47

killed your stroke with the magic power

14:49

of singing. I'm back at it. Post mean

14:52

letting now never good door sounds

14:54

so poor killing oa after

14:58

that and that, it's the story

15:00

of how Danny Dyer, whose name we all remember,

15:03

commemorate on this day every year, saved

15:07

strokes by the power of singing. Happy

15:10

Dana daya dia

15:14

crowns on our heads. Here, get

15:16

your mutton sticks out

15:19

and I sing his song? Shall we probably?

15:22

Oh? Good Dame, get

15:31

your stroker. See

15:38

that's our See I

15:42

knew that's what the song was about. I briefly called

15:44

the Chemist. Our

15:51

second scene comes from Jonathan, who wrote Creating

15:54

is Alchemists. Today is my birthday,

15:57

birthday probably a couple of months ago.

16:00

It was good. I was hoping you could

16:02

give me with a scene about my rock band Wonder

16:04

Kid. Why that's detailing every

16:06

member you m I want to write this down. There's

16:09

me the neurotic guitarist, band

16:12

leader, manager. That's Jonathan.

16:16

Hey, that's not me, Sam

16:19

charismatic, gender fluid Dizzie

16:21

lead singer, Vanessa

16:25

dan stoned bass player who's

16:28

just having a great time. We're

16:32

just gonna set this one out. Nate

16:35

swag tastic drummer who has commitment

16:37

issues but is super talented and cool, No

16:39

problem, Thank you. PS.

16:41

Chris Alvarado, you're my hero. Well

16:44

be sure to tell him that off runway best

16:48

Jonathan Alright, wonder

16:51

kind What the hell is this? What those are? Crap band? Name?

16:53

What is this? Wonder kid?

16:55

Yeah, listen, okay, you're up in six minutes.

16:57

You got that? Okay? And I don't want any stains.

17:00

Did anyone want to tell you your eyes were beautiful?

17:06

Loosen up that shirt? Why don't we rip these sleeves

17:08

off ship? You know, maybe that

17:11

shirt could have been expensive? You know

17:13

what I just want to say, I apologist for saying

17:15

it was a crap band. Off the of the get go, I

17:17

got like going on. Yeah, sorry, I just work

17:20

out because of stress. Um,

17:22

okay, you got six minutes, thanks man,

17:25

Thank you six What an

17:27

amazing soul. It

17:29

feels like your great house out there, guys. Yeah,

17:32

I'm pretty excited. It looks like it's gonna be

17:34

fun. Who's gonna handle the tasty licks

17:36

tonight? I am You're

17:39

I'm gonna lick all the people is

17:43

a musical thing. We're supposed to lick the audience.

17:49

But Nate,

17:52

you are swag tastic. Man, I

17:54

feel it. I feel it. Oh

17:56

man, something's wrong with my stomach. Wrong?

18:00

What's the matter. I don't know, there's something wrong

18:02

with my stomach. I said, I want Do you want me to operate?

18:05

I think, Wait, Sam, are you talk to her?

18:07

No? I'm not. I shouldn't have said that. I totally

18:09

have said that. Oh my gosh, you guys are something

18:11

wrong with Tom. Tom we gotta we's got

18:13

to operate. Someone has to operate. What

18:16

why don't we just call a doctor or something.

18:18

We don't have that kind of time. Okay, all

18:21

right, hold on, let me grab one of my picks, Scott.

18:23

Thank god, bass picks are thicker than regular guitar

18:26

picks. Yeah, that's

18:28

a pretty big incision, man. Yeah. Well, I don't

18:30

know where. I don't know what we're looking for, so

18:32

I figured I just check everywhere. Can

18:34

someone pull up an image of what it's also like? A

18:38

wonder Kid four minutes? Wonder Kid four

18:42

go on? Yes, yes, he's

18:45

fun. I mean that drum a little if you need a drummer,

18:47

wait, dantastic, Yeah he's

18:50

not fantastic. I don't know. I mean, it's Phil,

18:52

Phil Collins. I'm happy to sit in if you want. You

18:55

know what, Phil, It's okay. Wait, I think

18:57

Phil Collins is probably not as good as drummer

18:59

as our friend Nate, who's currently had his guts ripped

19:02

open. All right, well you're not three minutes now, guys. Good

19:04

look, thank you, thank you. Philis. Oh god, there's

19:06

something moving around and what isn't

19:09

know? Oh he's gonna get that. Who's

19:11

gonna get I just gotta be

19:13

able to sing, so I don't want to scream too much, but I

19:15

am screaming on the inside. Jonathan, get it, reach

19:17

in. Oh

19:21

god, it's alive. I

19:25

think he picked up a parasite when it was in the Amazon

19:27

last week. Oh my god. I don't want

19:29

to freak you out, but look at

19:31

him, Nate, Nate,

19:35

I Blake DRAMs. Wait, what's what's

19:38

that Nate scribbling? D n

19:40

plays drums? You play drums,

19:43

Weather, But what about Nate is

19:51

like a super fan. I'men following these guys like

19:53

every city, every everything, every

19:56

I got to see them. I've never heard

19:58

him before, my daughter says, or fun. I'm just trying to relate

20:01

to good Oh gosh,

20:04

good people. Honey,

20:06

I'm talking to these people because it's encourassing me.

20:10

This is my daughter. I love your

20:12

eyeliner. Thank you. How

20:15

do you say hello to the nice? Aren't you gonna ask him? Their

20:17

names are being very polite? Hi, what are your names?

20:20

I'm Sledge, I'm Craiger,

20:22

Sledgend, Craig, Oh, schlegend,

20:24

Craiger. What's really nice to meet you. I'm

20:27

Tom And this is my daughter. What

20:29

are you going by? Now? She's she

20:32

was born Ashley but as

20:36

am Off as one

20:38

of the ancient aliens, h named

20:41

after the science fiction writer Isaac Asthma. Whatever.

20:44

And you're a big fan of water Kid, Yeah,

20:46

particularly Nate. It's the best. He's

20:49

actually a good friend of mine. Yeah, I give me he an actually

20:53

yeah, here he sla

20:55

plastic is. Yeah,

21:01

it's a really good friend of mine. Say thank you, thank

21:03

you. Do you mind if we give your daughter some

21:05

drugs? Oh? Well,

21:08

well it makes

21:10

music? Feed my daughter? Drugs

21:13

matter. I don't know if feeds the right word.

21:15

If I did, like put food in her mouth with drugs

21:17

on it, well that's feeding. Okay,

21:19

what honeymore, I've done drugs

21:21

before, don't embarrass me. Okay, look,

21:23

I just want to relate to you. So some

21:26

of those drugs, would you just say this,

21:29

guys, you,

21:33

where do you come on? Then let's go come hey,

21:35

get out, get out of here. Hey, look, thank

21:37

you very much for Genesis. Wonder Kid

21:39

will be out of three. They

21:43

were all right, they were no wonder

21:45

Kid. Oh man, No

21:48

they weren't, are you okay? Yeah,

21:51

just the drugs I picked today were real downers,

21:54

and I just it's a bad call on my part.

21:56

I just should have picked up hers. I just get starting to field

21:59

them too. Sorry about that. I gave you like heavy

22:01

downers. I'm feeling it to gave

22:04

you some brown tones. So hopefully

22:07

wonder cat'll just lift our mood.

22:09

Natal lift mood. Nay,

22:13

for God's sake, what are we going

22:15

to do? He is a dead person. He

22:17

is a dead che

22:20

Grimlin says he can play drums. How

22:22

do we trust this grimlin shitty

22:24

band? Let's say hello, hello, are you in there?

22:27

I'm not gonna open the door. I respect your privacy.

22:29

Okay. I just want to say

22:31

to the band member who sleeves off, I've

22:34

kind of really uh thought

22:37

about myself a lot, and I want

22:39

to just let you know that I've called my parents and I apologized.

22:41

Okay, that's great, man, beautiful. I knew

22:44

you had a beautiful soul. Alright five

22:46

minutes alright, I think, oh

22:48

great, we're getting a little extra type. Did Genesis go

22:50

along? They always go along,

22:53

that's their whole thing. Hey,

22:57

Sam, oh, we

23:00

gotta teach us. You've

23:02

been living inside Nate for a while. If

23:06

you had headphones in Okay, Well,

23:08

look it's drumming, so you just kind of gotta field

23:11

of vibe. You don't have to worry about notes. It's just rhythm,

23:13

man. All right. Well,

23:15

we're gonna open up with diamond diamonds, right,

23:17

yeah, always open with diamonds. Then we

23:19

can move into swag of every color.

23:22

Look, everyone listen up, all right right now?

23:25

Okay, I'm feeling a little down, all right, and

23:27

I don't know why, but I think we

23:29

should all just vacate this venue

23:32

and just all go outside and just gonna

23:35

figure it out. Okay, because face

23:39

right, do you know what I think that guy down

23:41

in front is? Right? Yeah, I just

23:43

say, you know, I just I'm not I'm

23:45

not even keel, like, I don't know where my middle is right

23:48

now. But I am feeling down down

23:50

long. Guys having a bad trip. We're all having

23:52

a bad want to be at this concert

23:55

and have an unpleasant time. Let's

24:00

moving on out to the parking lots. Do it. Let's

24:02

go, Let's get this guy. Friends of Air.

24:04

Thank you, thank you. Oh my

24:07

gosh, you're having a good Hey. Sorry, wonder kid

24:09

Gennis As we walked the room, Hi, Evidently

24:11

we really bummed him out. What there's nobody

24:13

out there anymore. They're on the parking lot. So either you can

24:15

play in the parking lot or you can just go play

24:18

for an empty room. Thanks

24:21

for letting us know. Don't pay any

24:23

attention to the mess in here. Okay,

24:26

Phil. Phil wanted to come back, but he felt terrible, so he sent

24:29

me. Mike Rutherford had said. Anyways, I'll

24:31

see you guys later. We'll be in the parking lot to try trying

24:33

to figure this out for you. Thanks,

24:35

my Brotherford. No problem. Well,

24:38

tiny gremlin, it looks like you're

24:40

not gonna get the opportunity to play in front

24:42

of the crowd that you wanted to at this rock show.

24:46

WHOA I want a kid? Listen,

24:48

I heard your record in the puck lot

24:51

wild. I haven't heard of music

24:53

like that in a long time. And

24:58

I just want to say somewhere now, this a

25:00

right here, this is a Gramlin guy. What the

25:02

hell it is that I want to tie? Can you mind?

25:04

You all leaving the room, and I just want to talk to this Kip for a second. Where

25:07

the rest of the oh,

25:12

I know that. Yeah, nothing's gonna happen. Thank

25:15

you. We'll

25:19

be out in the hall. Hey,

25:22

Grandma, I want to do a solo deal with

25:24

you. Yeah, we're not out of the room

25:27

yet. What's up? We're still were walking

25:29

towards the door. Then the cover of ears.

25:31

Okay, because I don't want to hear this. I want to do a

25:33

solo deal with you, and I want to give us a second

25:36

to cover our ears. Just okay,

25:38

okay, I'll wait. All right, Gremlin, have some

25:40

loyalty. Remember we taught you rhythm and

25:42

taught you rhythm grim they did. We're covering

25:45

our ears, but I'm gonna teach you how to make a billion dollars,

25:47

all right, And the first step is getting rid of wonder kid.

25:49

All right, you will be going all

25:51

the way to the tippy top. We're gonna have a whole new band around

25:53

you. All right, Okay, that's direct.

25:57

Now go out there and find the band. Yes,

26:01

you want to be the man, do it? Fine? Can

26:04

we take our hands off our ears now? Hey?

26:09

Hey, you can take your hands off your ears now. Yeah,

26:12

Semlin came back. See I told you guys,

26:14

he's honest, he's loyal, he would never

26:16

have died. You have to find your

26:18

truth. Yeah, I

26:21

step definded by myself.

26:24

Okay, yourself, Yes,

26:29

I'm got that my own. What

26:32

what I'm going to write?

26:34

Seven minute loud, extravagant balance.

26:38

Dude? We cut you out of Nate's stomach. Yeah,

26:41

man taught you how to drum our.

26:43

Drummer is dead because you inside

26:47

fail Collin's Red. So I'm

26:50

going this is about Phil Collins.

26:54

Oh, I sit about me. You'll

26:56

never make it on your own. You'll

26:58

never make it on your own. Graham. Yes,

27:00

I wird my

27:03

name like Danny Dyer. Wait,

27:07

do we even know your name? Now? She

27:10

calls you grandma. I thought that was just short

27:12

for for Nate's gremlin. It

27:14

is, that's what I Yeah, I

27:18

don't know. It's Rick, Rick,

27:21

Rick, your name is Rick? Yes? Did

27:23

you name yourself? Then? Ate

27:25

it before I died. What

27:31

Courtner Matthew said, soon Rick, Nate

27:36

White Wait wait, wait, oh my god, Nate

27:38

wanted you to come out. Nate was planning

27:41

on us, Yes, he would say soon

27:43

Rick, soon in the bathroom.

27:46

Yes, I am so confused.

27:48

We never knew about any of that. Oh,

27:51

this is the worst Danny Dyer day I've ever had.

27:53

I should be with my family, instead

27:56

we're Instead, we're here with this tiny

27:59

gremlin and this record executive who

28:01

thinks that this whole falling apart

28:03

of a band is hilarious. Oh

28:07

my god, monster, No,

28:10

I'm a record man, really, because I see

28:12

horns coming out of your hair. She suit

28:15

monster whatever. Alright, listen, I

28:18

really do see coming in. Look,

28:22

Pite, I'm not a parrisite. Okay,

28:24

I'm not cut him open. No, don't come. Oh

28:29

you guys. Fuck,

28:35

we're living inside the record exactly

28:37

if you were. Were you trying to get Rick to go solo.

28:41

I was trying to bring us all together so

28:44

Rick can go solo, but you can be our drummer

28:46

again. Yeah. Oh my god, men,

28:53

thank you, Rick, Thanks Rick, thanks Rick

28:55

for everything. Don't

29:00

damn god, I see him going.

29:04

It's like the cartoon dog eats

29:06

a bone. You can just see it go down. Oh

29:09

God, let's not stand

29:12

down. God,

29:20

damn it. That's

29:23

our second scene. I bet

29:26

that's just what the band is like. Yeah,

29:28

I hope we did you proud Jonathan. Alright,

29:36

our third scene today it comes from Alex.

29:38

He wrote hello to Kevin and the

29:40

Alchemists. I'll tell Kevin I

29:42

absolutely love and look forward to your podcast, and

29:44

I'm ecstatic with two days instead of one. It

29:47

makes the commute to all three of my jobs

29:49

during the week a thousand ties more enjoyable, So

29:51

I thank you for that. That's a lot.

29:54

My scene suggestion is two people

29:56

are invited to a luxurious retreat to relax

29:58

and rediscover one's true self. One

30:01

person begins to suspect that the place is actually

30:03

a cult headquarters disguising itself

30:05

as a retreat. Have fun, sincerely,

30:08

Alex Petonist. Alright,

30:11

so all the rooms share

30:14

a door, and okay,

30:17

well, isn't

30:19

it. It's up to you to open your side,

30:21

of course, and part of that is

30:23

just for all of us to decide how

30:25

open we want to be for our time here. Oh

30:27

my gosh, this is really beautiful. So

30:31

we have a list on the bed of all

30:33

our activities and one we'll have different meditations

30:36

and whatnot wrong. Susanne loves

30:38

meditating. I do a

30:41

good. Oh come on, there is no good

30:43

and meditating and just do it. Well,

30:46

there is a system and there's a hierarchy. So

30:49

just knowing that that that we're all here to work together

30:52

and help each other achieve purity

30:54

and enlightenment and uh meals

30:57

are Mike, I'm sorry,

30:59

I'm just and I'm just

31:01

a little very package. Yeah, definitely,

31:04

I can have someone bring something over whenever

31:07

you like. That sounds great. What do

31:09

you want? You want to like club sandwich? And I

31:12

mean, I guess whatever is easy, and

31:16

I want something more like a like a you

31:18

know, like okay,

31:21

cable for my wife. Well,

31:23

we do everything here is liquid based, so we

31:25

don't have any solid food. Okay,

31:28

that's not going to be a problem, Mike. So like

31:30

a soup, like a brothy

31:32

soup. Yeah, we can do a soup. That's fine,

31:35

Okay, all right, I'll roll with it. I'll

31:37

roll with it. I'm sorry. I mean, you can

31:39

go into town if you have to get something. How

31:42

far as town, it's going to be fine, about twenty

31:44

kilometers that I

31:46

don't know. It's about about eighty miles

31:49

O. Here is the order

31:53

both. I didn't even order anyspaca.

31:55

But that's that was fast. He thought

31:57

it and I made it. Wow.

32:01

The one mind serves all the one mind

32:03

sirs all. Wow, this was

32:06

piping hot. It

32:08

will be caspaco in time, okay,

32:11

so just leave it alone to the cools. It

32:14

takes a while to discover its

32:17

true self. Oh it's another

32:19

thing. It's one mind, one mind,

32:21

one mind. What's that? Just

32:24

a little saying we have here? The

32:26

mantra helps the center ourselves. I

32:29

didn't This is more than

32:31

I, you know, was even thinking it would be. We

32:34

just kind of unwind and get to know

32:36

ourselves and each other again. I guess soon as I guess, we should

32:38

say their mantra with him? Where what was it? You don't have to do

32:40

that. I know, I'm want to fit in. Um.

32:44

What do we say mantra? Was? Uh?

32:49

The mantra is one mind, one mind, one

32:52

mind, one mind voices

32:54

that way? Did that? I need to go to Uh, I

32:57

gotta get recalibrated. Just

32:59

hang tight for a second and I will.

33:01

I gotta fix myself or

33:04

anything else as sustenance. I will be behind

33:06

the shared door. Oh good

33:09

mind, and I will be always

33:11

listening to God. Well,

33:14

this sponge was still really hot. Neighbor,

33:18

Hello, neighbors

33:20

are there? I mean I saw you come in. I don't

33:22

mean to it, Druid, Hey, how

33:24

are you? Guys? You

33:27

came right are you? Susan? Hi,

33:30

Blessing, Hi Howard. I'm closing, I'm

33:33

and I'm Clydet. We

33:36

got here about a month ago. We're loving it amazing.

33:39

One mind, one mind, one mind, one

33:41

mind mind, one mind. Yeah, so you could even

33:43

do extended stays like that if

33:45

you get part of the elevated program. They ask you to

33:48

so actually required required extended

33:50

stays sometimes. Yeah, one mind on one mind

33:52

mind. So I just want to say, what's

33:54

up? You guys are gonna love the pool. It's

33:56

awesome. It's awesome. Yeah.

34:00

So it's super chill, super great and it's

34:02

mostly water. Now, yeah, I know the best

34:05

part about it. What else would it be? Ye? Well they

34:07

had mostly water. Yeah, yeah,

34:09

it's mostly water. What what was

34:11

the other ingredients? We honestly

34:14

none of us know. But it was lovely it

34:16

was. Now it's mostly water, but it might not be long

34:19

no one mind one my

34:22

mind. Yeah, I don't want to do that.

34:25

We got crafty, we got volleyball,

34:27

we got skin graph, we got kite surfing,

34:30

you name it. There's everything here, alright,

34:34

one of mine and I we got to

34:36

bounce out of here. Yeah, and we got to do our

34:38

own little guys. Okay,

34:41

it's nice to see

34:44

the pool. It was Carol

34:47

and Okay, have

34:49

a good one. It was Mike and Suzanne.

34:52

Right, yeah, that's right. I'll tell him. Okay,

34:56

this must have cooled down, but I'll know it is still really

34:58

hot. It's still really hot. Don't think about

35:00

food for five seconds. I'm sorry, I'm

35:03

hungry. Okay, yeah, you

35:05

must wait until your capaco cools.

35:08

Only then with bigaspaco. Okay,

35:12

I don't know what that means, and how would

35:14

he know, Like is that a recording? Like

35:17

I mean, if everybody's getting the hot gaspacho

35:19

on arrival, then maybe it's just time. Mind.

35:22

I heard you tried the caspaco early. Well

35:24

I just tasted it, but it was a little too hot. Even

35:27

try it was just too it was too hot, like

35:30

yourself, the gaspaco was not ready.

35:33

Well know when theaco

35:35

was ready? W work here? Yes,

35:37

I made the caspaco. I was here, but

35:43

everyone's wearing the white thing and it's

35:45

hard to tell you guys apart. It's called a

35:47

mind robe, and yours are in your closets.

35:50

I don't think I want to please

35:53

on your mind robes, sus

35:56

I think we got to put on the mind robes. You don't

35:58

like the gauze hat, well,

36:00

it's it. It's a little itchy, but oh

36:04

it's it's kind of it's really comfortable.

36:07

What is this terry cloth? That is for you

36:09

to find out? And for us to just

36:12

tell me the fabric recalibration

36:17

session to nine four. Uh,

36:19

this is Spenser, this is one

36:22

mind Gabriel. Sorry

36:24

for using my Christian name. Oh

36:27

okay, uh, I

36:30

uh forgot the mantra for a second,

36:32

And I just want to say on the record that

36:35

I didn't mean to. It was just a floup.

36:39

You forgot the mantra. I forgot the mantra

36:41

for a second. The mantras four words, two

36:43

of which are repeated, right right.

36:46

I know that. I know that. And tell me again what

36:48

the mantra is? Uh

36:52

you know it? I do know it? Yes,

36:55

do you know it too? I

36:57

know it too? Tell me the mantra. We

37:00

know what we both know it started. It

37:02

starts with a number. Um,

37:06

starts with a basic accounting number. Um

37:09

an accountant? What account

37:14

uh? Um? Was

37:16

it accountant? Was that right? I

37:19

think the mantra begins with accountant accounting

37:22

number? Right? Was

37:24

that right? Was I wrong? Did you not say? Okay, I'll give

37:26

you that. The first word is one? Okay? Okay?

37:28

What is that? What's okay? So the first word is something

37:30

to do with one? Now think,

37:33

okay, think, think

37:36

with your brainy,

37:38

think with you? Yes, um, warmer,

37:42

um Jacuzzi? What

37:45

you said? Warmer? That

37:48

mantra is not one Jacuzzi? One Jacuzzi.

37:50

Okay, I know that, I know that, I know that you know

37:52

that. I think he's beyond help.

37:54

Should be drained him of his in

37:59

searching time up in three. You

38:01

know, I think I'm really having a good te alright,

38:09

I'll just grab your cups. Everybody take a drink.

38:12

Oh, it's just perfect, perfect

38:14

temperature. One mind, one

38:16

mind, one mind. Um.

38:22

So we finally have you, know, a moment

38:24

alone to be away from

38:26

the kids for for a little bit. You look good in

38:28

that. Can

38:31

I give you a little background? Hi?

38:37

One mind? One mind, mind,

38:41

one mind, one mind, one mind. It's

38:44

the activities crew. Did you fill

38:46

out your paper? We're to pick up your papers. You

38:49

know what, we'll slide it into a door. We're just gonna take it.

38:55

Not a long travel day, and we were

38:59

really weird. There's

39:02

also activities on here. Well,

39:05

we'll stand here and wait. We'll

39:09

do yoga. We'll do yoga. Check it off, check it off,

39:11

check it off. The thing I don't know where it is in the pamphlets

39:14

on the back. It's okay

39:16

yoga, and I

39:19

checked yogurt. I'm sorry. Nobody

39:24

ever picks the activity of yoga.

39:28

That all

39:30

right? On My

39:32

finger slipped accidentally clicked skin

39:34

grafting. Want skin grafting? Why

39:37

we don't want skin graph I was trying to check

39:39

water skin skin grass. We're

39:41

here for yoga and water skiing. We clicked

39:44

yogurt and skin graft This

39:47

is so miken't

39:49

do anything right. Oh, don't say

39:51

that. I don't want to just come in. Hello,

39:55

Hi, Hi, Hello. Did

39:57

somebody check off yoga.

40:00

There's no way you can know that already. Yeah,

40:03

but it's a mistake. Did it? But he didn't mean it's a mistake

40:05

when you just want My husband Mike, and he has

40:08

a bad hand eye coordination. He accidentally

40:10

did yogurt. But we

40:12

don't want to do yoga. We just want to do some kundalini

40:14

yoga. I can do some condelige

40:17

yogurt. What is that yogurt?

40:21

No, my stro way? Do you want me to

40:23

put your cart put? No? No,

40:25

no, no, we don't do the yogurt yeasty

40:30

table side yogurt. I don't want

40:32

table side yogurt. I laid down

40:34

on the floor. I

40:40

think I have to obey. Does

40:44

someone order scanned grafting? Um?

40:47

No, no, absolutely not. Just

40:50

go along with it. We can make it a his and hearst thing.

40:52

Playing harder your

40:58

card to throw all the until

41:03

I'm done of the yogurt a

41:06

little bit? The hell do you do

41:08

this thing? Or at the time you're during this whole

41:10

time, nobody means to click yogurt. I don't

41:13

one mind, one mind? Hot

41:17

your pot to the high table. Do you think you can do all

41:19

of these things? Because I'm part of the hot taber, honey,

41:21

and you're just pushing yogurt. I'm putting

41:23

people's skins on other people. You're pushing

41:26

yogurt. Death not steering behind this

41:28

thing that yogurt actually feuds with the

41:30

bone. He yogurt doesn't do ship man,

41:33

you don't know anything. Fuck man,

41:35

nobody's coming water skin. I

41:37

know. Man, we got so many

41:40

boats. We have all these boats. We got this

41:42

cooler full of beer as right we

41:44

got we got this

41:47

little blitchin speaker that's playing all

41:50

the hit songs. That's right. This

41:52

is supposed to be a real fun activity.

41:54

I got my sunlights on the back of my neck. You

41:58

all everything. It might be because of the sign up process,

42:01

which you mean where we're we're on like page

42:03

seven, yeah, and

42:05

they put everything else up on the front there.

42:08

Yeah. Yeah, I mean we do offer

42:10

a legitimate water skiing business. I know this is

42:12

a colt. We're

42:16

just subcontractors. Were subcontractors.

42:18

We legitimately give people a good water. It's

42:20

a good time, you know. I wish we had been in one mind

42:22

to sign elsewhere because it's bullshit on

42:25

one mind, one mine. Look

42:27

up on the hill, man, yoga mats are empty. Two. Ain't

42:30

nobody going to yoga. That's a damn sure. They've

42:32

got a quality mat, so breathable.

42:35

Anybody working with y'all down there with the

42:37

skis. No, nobody wants to skin

42:39

anybody up there. Y'all do with y'all? No,

42:44

man, this is a damn shame. They're

42:46

all doing skin grafting and brain slurps.

42:49

What the hell brain slur don't want to know

42:51

what a brain slurp is? Man, Oh my god, is

42:55

that Mike Yes? Is

42:57

that mikel we'll

43:00

have for your brain slopes. Well, we

43:02

did not order a brain slur You checked

43:04

it. You checked it on the card. You

43:07

check I might have I

43:09

don't know. You're covering a yogurt?

43:12

What's happening to us? Thank

43:17

you? We said no, all

43:19

right, I need my card, my

43:22

cart and oh

43:24

I forgot straws. I'll be right back, Tony.

43:27

Can I can I talk to you for a second? Yeah? Um,

43:30

this is really hard to say, but we should leave

43:33

their room then if you're going to say something hard will be

43:35

right. We'll be just outside the dog Do

43:37

you mind just covering your ears? I

43:40

have yogurt in my ears anyway? Okay,

43:43

Well I just by the way, Susanne,

43:45

you look very good in your new ethnicity.

43:48

What this

43:50

is really hard to say, Um, but you've

43:52

been promoted. That's hard to

43:54

say that's great, just hard because you know we're

43:56

not gonna be working together anymore. And I just like, I

44:00

know you're gonna be brain slurping really promote brains,

44:02

and you're you're going to be elevated

44:04

to the plane of enlightenment and the Pure

44:06

Pony. And I just feel

44:09

that, you know, people

44:11

forget people. I will never forget you

44:13

know, I know that. I know you're saying that. No, but that's true.

44:15

Hey, one, I

44:18

think I love some ship in here. Hey,

44:23

congrats on the Pure Pony stuff. Thank

44:25

you. We've been waiting for you. Yeah,

44:27

it's nice to have a promotion. I just found out. But

44:30

I've got one more brain slurp to do. You don't

44:32

have to talk to your old cart guy now, No,

44:34

No, we're friends though. One mind once you

44:37

get promoted that you don't talk to your cart guy really

44:39

Yeah yeah, car trash man.

44:42

Sorry, I need to wheel my cart through of caspacco

44:45

plates, Wonder Kids and Sweet thirteen.

44:47

Wait, wonder Kids here wondering Oh

44:49

my gosh. Yeah,

44:52

it's just like the Van Hagar Wonder Kid where they've

44:54

got the little gremlin. Yes it

44:56

is. Oh, he's

44:58

the only one who signed up for water skiing. There,

45:08

he's good. Look at that. Where

45:13

do you even get that little skis from? Wait?

45:18

What's he dragging behind him? A

45:23

kid? That's your original dramma one

45:26

kid. Man. Oh,

45:29

I love that guy, Susanne,

45:33

Mike, I know I

45:35

was hoping just to rekindle the her

45:38

marriage. I love

45:40

you, love you too. I can't believe

45:42

we're surviving this. We're going to get out and we go back

45:44

to the kids. Everything's going to be different. Come

45:47

on, Mike, let's go. We can go

45:51

Tatum like one

45:55

mind, one mind. It's

45:57

good. One mind,

46:00

one mind, one mind,

46:03

one mind, one mind,

46:07

one mind, one mind.

46:10

Board Hide

46:19

and that's our show. Oh

46:22

man, pretty

46:25

normal. Let's go around and say, well

46:27

up to your market. Catch

46:30

me every last Wednesday

46:33

of the month with Craig Ktkowski at

46:35

the Beautiful Dynasty Type Writer Theater. Um

46:37

Blood and Treasure Season one now available on Amazon

46:39

Prime and find me on Twitter at Mark x Nice

46:42

Vanessa Raglan find me Dynasty

46:45

Dakwriter. You can look on Instagram at

46:47

Dynasty Typewriter, and if you want to just see

46:50

boring pictures, you can go to Vanessa

46:52

Hope on Instagram. Um and I just love

46:55

everyone Craig

46:58

Koski Kowski on

47:00

Twitter, spelled like it sounds see

47:03

Kakowski on Instagram, the letter

47:05

C and the word Koski, which

47:08

it never knows to find. Say

47:11

your name it Joey at

47:13

Jeffy Grieber on Instagram. And

47:15

I'm not in Hobbs and Shaw, but I think if

47:17

we get uh, you know, grassroots

47:19

movement, I think we can edit me in. So

47:22

let's see what happens. Sweet alright,

47:26

that's right. I'm at Cole

47:28

Stratton on Twitter at Stratton Cole on Instagram. Pretty

47:31

pre phony first Thursday of the month at Westside

47:33

Comedy Theater at ten pm. Come check

47:35

that out. Let's thank our engineer

47:37

Doug Babe, our

47:40

post sound design artist Raphael Brito, our

47:43

producer Sophie Lichtman, and

47:46

lastly, I heart media. I

47:52

encourage all of you to be of one mind, one

47:54

mind, and write a review. Tell everyone

47:56

you've ever met and write to us at your name

47:58

here at alchemy this dot calm. That's your

48:01

name here at alchemy this dot com. Until

48:04

next time, Alchemy