0:00

All right, we have a bit of an announcement here, joe you want to talk

0:02

about this T shirt design contests.

0:05

I do open submission

0:07

to anybody listening or a friend of a friend

0:09

pass it along. You got a design

0:11

you want to make for a T shirt, something that you've heard

0:14

on the show, that you want to live in perpetuity

0:16

in an image. Will send it to your name

0:18

here at Alchemy. This dot com submissions

0:20

will be done by November, and

0:23

then our Patreon members are going to be

0:25

able to vote on which design

0:28

they like the best, and that one's gonna get put on a shirt.

0:30

Wait, Joey, does that mean we'll have shirts available

0:32

just in time for the holidays. Oh

0:35

my gosh, that's an amazing idea. Thank you so much.

0:37

So and James, you're making sure that we have a

0:39

shirt available at where

0:42

is it going to be like you're gonna be located.

0:44

You can get it at the Patreon page and we'll get

0:46

a link up that will be uh put

0:49

in all the different places. Okay, so submit your

0:51

designs for a new shirt. We're gonna do as many

0:54

as we approve in love, and then

0:56

the Patreon members will weigh in and vote

0:58

as well, they're votes, will cast

1:00

along with hours and we'll pick ourselves

1:03

some brilliant artists. Welcome

1:06

back to another episode of Alchemy

1:08

This I'm your host, Kevin Polligan for the first time

1:11

in eighty one shows. I'm reading

1:13

this from an iPad, not burning trees.

1:16

I'm your host, Kevin Pollock. Yes that Kevin

1:19

pok. What's that the nature of my emergency?

1:21

Well, gosh, where do I begin. Let's

1:23

go with politicians for four but

1:26

I digress. Let's mean our rachamists. Shall

1:28

we, in no particular order? Please say hello to Vanessa

1:30

Raglan Venetian since apparently

1:33

it's a legit option? Would

1:35

you rather have a bird in the hand or

1:37

two in the bush? To bush?

1:40

Whoa? You want to have two birds in your bush? Yeah?

1:43

I do. I'd love that.

1:46

That would be amazing. Thanks, I'd

1:49

like I'd like both options. I'd like one

1:51

in my hand and two in my bus. I'd

1:53

like three birds, Kevin. Your

1:59

your actually bush was not on

2:01

the table. A situation

2:06

past the cleanex James Eny just stepped

2:08

through the portal of my heart Jinkie

2:11

jam Jam can a monkey driver car?

2:13

And if so, how long before they're working for Uber?

2:15

Well, if they have a tesla,

2:17

there's nothing stopping them from being

2:19

able to. I mean, you just need to be able to put your hands

2:21

on the wheel for seconds of the time, right, Kevin, that's

2:24

right right? Because it lit thing comes on this green I

2:26

mean, please touch the way. I would not have any

2:28

fear of a tesla with a monkey baring. In fact,

2:30

I'd enjoy it. You drive itself

2:32

for real? Well, they all do, but

2:35

but they don't stop it stop signs or stop

2:37

lights. They don't know because

2:39

they want you to stay engaged. Can I take

2:41

back my thing with the monkey? I don't

2:43

want to know. Kevin

2:47

drives a Honda fit the page and

2:49

please let Chris Alvarado in, sir,

2:53

What does it actually sound like when

2:55

doves cry? Um?

2:58

It sounds like it's

3:00

the same noise that Joey gream makes when

3:02

he comes. What I've

3:05

heard him both, and they're very similar. Hey,

3:08

the guys just being honest. You keep

3:10

your close left to my bush, you'll find out

3:17

is what it sounds like when it comes. And the last number

3:19

or freak flag never fly. If you think

3:21

him leaves, it's Joey Greer Greer near far

3:23

and forgotten. What time. Can you pick me

3:26

up tonight for Fest nineteen. Man,

3:28

I have to push. I'm not gonna be able to make tonight,

3:30

honestly, Yeah, no, I I got an

3:34

I know my hammy is all tight. I'm gonna make it for the weekend,

3:36

but I can't make it for the by

3:38

the week Okay, little milk bath

3:41

um. We want a further our announcement

3:43

that you may have already heard and invite you to

3:45

the v i P member of our new Patreon page.

3:48

Fairly knew at this point live video meet

3:50

ups with the cast, bonus episodes like the live

3:52

shows from West Side Comedy

3:55

Theater. There's a phone number just for v

3:57

i P members. You can call in, leave a message,

3:59

a question, or request all the

4:01

topless Alvarado content. That's

4:06

right. If that's your request.

4:08

Listen, if somebody, if somebody pays the

4:12

premium, the premium, top

4:14

dollar, you'll get. Yeah, top dollar

4:16

means topless, Chris. That's all

4:18

I'm saying. You'll

4:21

be disappointed, and also attend

4:23

one of our regular live Q

4:26

and a meet up. So those it's gonna actual, They're

4:28

not gonna go live, We're gonna record them, Is that right?

4:30

James are you talking about on Sundays. Yeah, I mean

4:32

the goal is to be live, but maybe not this weekend

4:35

because this won't come out of the announcement for it

4:37

being live, will be so later. But yeah, eventually

4:39

Sundays will have meetups. It's

4:41

probably already live by the time they're here. Or

4:44

is this the one we're gonna cut and we

4:47

can cut it so, like you know, I'm taking my shirt off.

4:50

Okay, trips coming off. It's

4:52

an opportunity to be creatively involved

4:54

in our weekly episodes, as only the i

4:56

P members will be able to all kinds of cool

4:58

ship. So please, if you want to be

5:01

a super core fan, join

5:03

our Patreon page. Yeah

5:06

yeah, our first scene, like

5:08

all of our scenes, came from one of you,

5:10

the listeners. If you'd like to submit your scene

5:12

suggestions, please write to the podcast your name

5:14

here at alchemy this dot com. That's your

5:16

name here and alchemy this this dot

5:19

com. My first scene comes from Steen.

5:22

That's how it's pronounced from Norway.

5:28

Just write to him who

5:32

wrote Hia. I've heard

5:34

all your episodes, especially like Vanessa's

5:37

crack horror voice. Everyone has a

5:39

different description. I

5:41

don't know which one that is that right, now

5:46

um and generally and and

5:48

and the confused, generally ignorant

5:50

Marvin mceugh from the concierge sketch.

5:52

Well, Chris, you were the concierge in that sket but

5:54

it wasn't.

5:58

I mean, some say I set up that alle you, but

6:02

I don't. League and Assists.

6:05

I think everyone knows that. My suggestion he

6:07

goes on a cruise ship with

6:10

American tourists passing through a Norwegian

6:12

feud, suddenly

6:15

face a catastrophic threat. A

6:17

select few of the passengers and crew are let

6:19

in on the situation and must save

6:22

everyone else. And please, if

6:24

you're trying to do a Norwegian accent, at least

6:26

don't do a German one. Alright,

6:28

So if anyone wants to try a little Norwegian,

6:30

I don't like that set

6:32

up for us to fail. Stan

6:36

from Norway

6:42

now moved to the right tickets

6:45

for that. Okay,

6:50

Hey Sean, Sean, I'm sorry to water

6:53

slot break

6:55

this up. I just want to let you know that

6:58

some of the other monkmates and I have got together

7:01

and we've asked you to switch bunks. Not again,

7:03

Yeah, not again, Sean, I'm sorry. Okay, you just you're

7:05

taking them too much space. I'm bringing Up'm bringing the positivity

7:08

and I've been I've been better on

7:10

on the deck, but below deck? Do we

7:12

have any Lincoln berries? Hello?

7:16

What do you need Lincoln? Open your

7:18

mouth? Catch it? Are

7:22

you keeping most Lincoln berries in your You're

7:26

going to poison them? How what do you the

7:28

pesticides in your pants? This isn't this This

7:31

feels like a personal attack. Sean. I

7:33

can't be more clear than it is. I'm assistant

7:35

activities director, assistant

7:37

Sean. Yeah, okay, there's a lot of other activities

7:40

beside of teaching people how to dance and throwing beads

7:42

of fruit. Of them have problem here? Yeah?

7:45

Actually we do. I

7:47

don't want to be called ma'am, sir. I

7:50

don't want to be called sir. D Um

7:53

Janney, Thank you, Janney.

7:55

Everything's fine, as you can tell. The passengers

7:57

are having a great time. See

8:00

that. Everyone seems a little hyped up. And you two

8:02

are arguing, arguing on the deck

8:04

where everyone can see you. Sorry, Janet,

8:07

we just need a bunk switch. That's all. Bunk

8:09

switch. We put in through the proper channel. Whoa,

8:16

this is the fourth time we've had you

8:18

be requested to Janet, Yes,

8:21

can you tell me about the bunk switches and Sector four?

8:24

I could. I wish I

8:26

could tell you about him. Tim, Well, but they're happening

8:28

in your area, so they are happening in I'm

8:30

not responsible. Sure, I'm trying

8:33

to engender a really positive relationship

8:36

and I'm being super positive and I would love

8:38

to have your job one day. Um,

8:40

but yeah, there's this. You know, I think

8:42

Sean is a problem. If you had my

8:44

job, what would you say to Janet

8:47

standing in front of me, Say you're a deep ship

8:49

honey, that's right. I know. I know how

8:51

this looks. I know how this looks. Doesn't

8:54

look good, But I gotta say Sean's the problem,

8:56

and I think we should kill him. Kill

8:58

him. I don't want to tell anyone but you that, and

9:00

I think we should cover it up. But I do think. Sorry,

9:03

I just have to say that I was listening in excuse

9:06

me, or if you're talking about the killing somebody on the ship,

9:09

I didn't say killing, it's

9:11

what she means. No, I think there's a language

9:13

barrier because you have that stupid voice. I said,

9:16

no, I don't think so. Do you work on the ship.

9:18

I'm the captain of the ship. This is my ship.

9:21

Why are you wearing a propeller? Hate?

9:23

It makes it the effort for me to keep my know

9:25

which way the wind is blowing. If I look at how far the

9:28

propeller moves in one direction, that's not how propellers

9:30

were Sorry

9:33

sir that you overheard that. But Janet

9:35

is looking over sector fourth or nine and

9:37

there with the section problems,

9:40

and we didn't want to bring them to the captain. This

9:42

is the first time I've met the captain. Yes, me

9:44

too. Stay behind the door.

9:47

It's locked, right, So why did you venture out

9:49

this time? Well, I like to get the taste of what's

9:51

going on in the sheets. Since when Sean's a

9:53

big problem, locked the door, locked the door, Captain,

9:55

Sean is a big problem. Justin

9:58

we disposed with Sean. We've gotten

10:00

seventeen requests for him to be moved. I

10:02

don't know what else to do. You could technically

10:04

fall overboard. Is that a thing. Let's

10:07

take a look at this map here, let's unfold

10:09

it. Okay, we're about

10:11

to go into an area that I think would be easy

10:13

to lose a body. Is it a fjord? It's

10:16

a funeral exactly. Okay,

10:20

So once we get to the Fiord, all we

10:22

need to do is get a distraction and then we

10:24

can push this. Let me get some more chicken fingers.

10:28

I don't know what's going on, man. The captain is looking

10:30

crazy. He doesn't understand when

10:32

propulsion or even anything else. I've

10:34

been telling him for weeks that the radiators

10:37

are going to overheat the giant radiator

10:39

in the center of the ship. It feels the whole damn

10:41

thing it's gonna blow. No,

10:43

uh no, no, iutling class. That's what

10:45

I love you. Let me get some more chicken fingers. It's

10:48

just crazy. It's like we got twelve

10:50

thousand people aboard this ship, and

10:52

every single one of them's lives are

10:54

in the palm of a hand of a guy who wears

10:57

propeller hats, propeller pants. You know, he's

10:59

got propellers all over about it. You don't have to check the wind,

11:01

you goddamn said, but

11:03

but light, Yeah, I think one of those.

11:05

And and and the thing that just irks

11:08

my burke all the way up the stock is

11:10

that there's just no way

11:12

to get through to the guy. Chicken

11:15

fingers. Okay,

11:19

okay, no, den. You

11:25

know, do you guys really speak

11:28

Spanish? It

11:30

feels like you're just using like a few words.

11:34

I'm just like, I'm overhearing and it feels

11:37

like fake. Um.

11:40

I think that you don't want to talk to that man, and

11:43

you're you're pretending, Hey, Julian, don't you get

11:45

us a bucket of fries? Huh? How

11:47

are you? I'm okay?

11:49

So are you talking about it? Julian? There? I

11:51

don't think your buddy likes him.

11:55

He's pretending he doesn't speak English,

11:57

but I'm like, really sure he does. He

11:59

listens to the action really well and

12:01

he doesn't speak full sentences of Spanish.

12:05

So your guests on the ship, huh, yeah,

12:07

that's great. Have you noticed the boat is like drifting

12:10

in weird ways? Yeah. I'm not supposed

12:12

to tell you this, but I'm on the

12:14

observation deck driving it around and

12:17

just get blow up. I shouldn't be talking.

12:21

Can we get some the radiator is going

12:23

to blow up? What are you doing on the observation

12:26

deck? What? K

12:29

oh my god? Oh

12:33

ship?

12:41

Okay, everybody, it's the chicken dance

12:44

tie. Please

12:51

please have the smoke coming

12:53

from a back because we're making it

12:55

hot. Anybody now,

12:59

guys, I am On. I am the assistant

13:01

activities director's here today. There's

13:03

an emergency at the starboard hall. Okay,

13:05

Janet, I'm not moving out of my bunk right now. You

13:08

have to see this that you love animals.

13:10

There's a porpoise stuck in the fjord. Porpoise.

13:13

Give me one second, all right, everybody, I need you all

13:15

to play a game of Simon says, as

13:17

I leave. Okay, Simon says, close

13:20

your eyes. Okay, where is

13:21

it your

13:23

assets? You can't say that to me

13:26

over there, look down further down

13:29

and and

13:39

let this see. And now we've got to Sean

13:41

and that should be good, right sir?

13:43

Are you from Norway or Italy?

13:45

I'm from Norway? Okay, this is a

13:47

Norwegian accent. You don't want me to

13:49

speak in Norway.

13:52

If you hear my native language, it would

13:54

just make no sense to you. Your native language. That

13:59

was tam you're worried

14:01

about his accent, which killed Sean from

14:05

there's a chance that the dolphins will take can

14:07

of There's no dolphin, you fucking idiot.

14:10

That was my excuse to get him a little there.

14:14

I heard that was this little sound

14:16

thing do it again. It's

14:19

really good. That's the button and it makes

14:22

that noise. That's a really good one. What is

14:25

this smell like smoke? I don't

14:27

believe fire usually fire is

14:29

that it's causes smoke machines

14:31

and he gadgets and he whistled moms. That can tell us

14:33

where the smoke's coming from. Your propellers are all

14:35

spending really well, let's follow. The gage

14:38

is going up. The goddamn mapp here. I need to

14:40

turn down with a fifteen to Greece North. Now, more

14:44

coal inside this god more game not.

14:46

I need to move all those towels and those wet blankets

14:48

out of here. There dasting gasoline. Everyone

14:51

moved. We gotta press ourselves against the wall. Those pylons

14:53

are gonna blow. It looks like where

14:56

the smoke is coming from. Guys, what

14:59

are we down here? We killed?

15:01

Shot, we killed telling

15:03

everyone, don't give the goddamn I

15:05

need your help right now. How

15:09

giant red house? What's giant

15:11

to three times the size of a man? Shot?

15:13

Shut shut, shut, shut, shut shut.

15:16

The passengers don't know what's going on. We've got to

15:18

keep them out of this, and I neither

15:20

send one of you in there to keep them, and I

15:22

got captain. I gotta tell you your personality

15:24

is pretty spectacular. And do you want me to

15:26

go down? Then take anything there

15:30

we've killed obviously

15:32

not all

15:38

right, everybody, it's a special movement. I

15:41

think you

15:43

don't can tell by all the propellers on me. So

15:46

this is what you guys must all. Simond

15:49

says that, god, dude, I got equation.

15:51

Oh I haven't now was playing mid Simon says

15:53

game her as Chloe for quite a while.

15:56

You get bumping into people, so we opened

15:58

their eyes. Well that means you lose. Well

16:00

that's fine. We're fine with losing. We used to. We're

16:02

smell smoke though't were wondering where

16:06

there's smoke, there's far usually

16:08

or ribs, ribs. We

16:12

would prefer alcohol.

16:17

Oh yeah, yeah. Where

16:19

there's where there's smoke, there's Alcohol's

16:22

if I was to say, they would have better have been soaked ribs

16:24

and it's going to be alcohol. And but don't say that again.

16:27

It sounds weird. Rips.

16:29

Yeah, yeah, that sounds kind of goof where

16:33

from cap Norregia? You know these

16:35

things. I'm the captain of this. Do

16:40

you mean Norway? Yeah, that's you're

16:43

spinning things. You

16:45

come clean with this cab from you feel

16:47

like you're from Sicily or so Ccily. I

16:50

was just thinking, Sherman Oaks, Cantfornia.

16:53

If you've got a problem here in this boat, we're

16:55

all mechanics, we'll be having

16:58

anything. We got a ninja dream

17:00

mechanics. What do you need? Well, honestly,

17:02

the last thing that I heard is I need a wrench through

17:05

times decizello. Everybody,

17:10

Oh shit, wait,

17:13

wait, wait, wait, wait wait, Who the hell's

17:16

that coming out of the water. He's riding

17:18

a dolphin? That

17:23

shan, you

17:25

get that gun? That dolphin can't survive

17:27

on the deck. Yes, he can, it's

17:30

just not o. A couple of things. One, I am no longer assistant

17:32

activities director. I am full time activities director.

17:34

And to my friend, dolphin man here is pretty

17:36

cool. So what's

17:39

the issue. I didn't kill a man. Are you that

17:46

gun? Oh my god? Okay,

17:48

Sean, look man, my bad. I didn't know. Oh

17:54

damn, I killed the dolphin inside

17:58

the dolphin and there's tinier doll. Oh my

18:01

god. What None

18:05

of this would have happened if you didn't ask me to leave

18:07

the bunk. Sorry, put

18:10

the barrel, this gun in your mouth, that

18:15

suck that thing. There you go, there you go,

18:18

And my fantasy has come true of

18:21

pregnant dolphin dying at the end of

18:23

a sketch. That was

18:25

really that was it.

18:31

I'm sorry you killed the person in that sketch,

18:33

right, No, I don't remember that. I tried

18:35

to, but you came back. We'd like to thank one of our sponsors

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you want? Yeah, I got some stuff. I got to say.

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Are these suitcases are designed for a lifetime.

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That's a fa If anything breaks, they're gonna fix

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it. So I guess I'm not saying break something on it, but if you

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too, vaness, well

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what I like and call me practical. You're

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practical. I like the

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removable laundry bags you can separate

20:24

your dirty clothes. I'm always in a hotel room

20:26

scrounging for that dry cleaner bag they

20:28

leave in the thing, and they're not always there. No, they're not

20:30

always there, and they're not big enough. So this is

20:33

let's keep it all separated, let's keep it clean so

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we can have a nice trip yet animals. Now, Chris,

20:37

you have one of these, I have one.

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I have the bigger carry on. It's

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honestly the perfect bag. The design

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is insane. The attention to detail

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is just out of this world. There's some great removable

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Yeah, the charger for your phone, that's right, So it

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has a charger, you can just plug your phone. And when you're waiting at

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the airport, and if you do one of those things, which

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is what I do to avoid um checking about

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on because it's it's small enough to be a carry

21:02

on, right, And then when they say, hey, we're asking

21:04

for bags to be checked out for free, right,

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I got I always volunteer, mind, and then I can just

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hit the echecked and take the charge

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the charger right out of there. Also, the colors

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that sounds weird, but sometimes I see these ugliest

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clean, all right. For twenty dollars off of

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21:24

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21:39

two comes from Jason, who wrote high Second Family.

21:41

Let's get this out of the way. James need the

21:44

best fun. Everyone else stand

21:48

this culture that we've created. I

21:51

created. I don't think I created your cult. I'm

21:54

a teacher in Australia and I travel a lot.

21:57

After discovering your podcast, I find

21:59

myself looking forward to long trips because

22:01

I get to lose my ship, which makes me

22:03

think you all have probably caused accidents,

22:06

you monsters. Recently, on a school

22:08

excursion, I was ignoring my students

22:10

to get my alchemy on. Listening

22:13

to James Heeney as a toilet paper company's

22:15

CEO getting overly excited by a

22:18

quote unquote winding machine

22:20

made me silently convolve so much that

22:22

the other teachers and students thought I was

22:24

suffering in medical condition. Here's

22:27

my scene suggestion A day in

22:29

the classroom, except

22:31

the teacher is a child

22:34

and the students are grown

22:36

ups. That's it. Have fun. I lied, I

22:38

love you all. Although James Heeney is best James,

22:41

thanks, and from Jason t

22:46

Chairs. I don't know ship

22:53

two left it. But

22:57

if it's like it's not

23:01

we got to make sure that bring

23:04

my kid. We just built around it.

23:06

If that's a problem, if that's what we wanted. You

23:08

want a call? Yeah, I am on a call. Okay, So we're trying

23:11

to start a class. Does anyone have a quark? What's

23:13

I started yet? So when it starts? I

23:16

mean, so we're all, aren't

23:19

you? Blessed? Everybody?

23:24

Could everybody please just calm down?

23:26

I'm about to teach. What's happening? What's

23:28

happening? What's up? Guy? I'm

23:31

I'm substitute teaching for the normal professor

23:34

that usually teaches this class. What's

23:36

your name? My name is Bobby, And Bobby,

23:38

what makes you think you're qualified to teach us? We're growing

23:40

up? Well? I was hired through a vigorous

23:43

interview process and I've been chosen

23:45

this one. If this is a prank show, I'm doing

23:48

this. I'm going to kick your as signed

23:51

uh you know any kind of release form?

23:53

I don't want to be on reality television again. It

23:55

already ruined my life once? What makes

23:58

What were you on? Where's the I

24:03

was on Where's the Hamster? And to ruin my life once? And

24:05

you said where's the Hampton's that one I love? Oh

24:08

that's a great one. Where's the Hamster? Is

24:10

is your time? I'm not either

24:13

way? So if you guys don't want to learn, okay,

24:15

don't learn. Excuse me? What was my name's

24:17

Bobby. It's just hard for us to believe that

24:19

you are going to help teach us build websites.

24:23

He's not wrong, is it? Dave? Dave?

24:26

Hey, my name is Dave. To thank you, Carl. Dave's

24:28

made a hell of a point. It's a real boys club

24:31

in here. Well Dave, I don't know, doesn't

24:34

have a lighter. Listen, thank you. I need

24:37

you guys to concentrate because I am a webmass.

24:40

Okay, just computers

24:42

are like a second language. I had to be just

24:45

language since I was born. No smoking in this class.

24:47

I'm not smoking. I'm huffing the lighter. How

24:49

old are you? I am thirteen? Okay,

24:52

I'm thirteen years old. What do

24:55

you said?

25:00

I forgot said you? Should have gone through year olds or

25:02

like full people. You're like, wait a second,

25:05

baby's walking in your

25:07

kid. It's not my kid, it's my little brother,

25:09

my little brother. He doesn't say this is a ship

25:12

show? Is this an accredited university? Until

25:15

I will go straight to the dark web and you guys, lives

25:17

will all be over. You

25:21

can teach us how to get to the dark web. I

25:23

mean, yeah, of course I can't. It's

25:26

about building a web. Okay. I'm looking over your

25:28

resume here and uh says

25:30

here that you're over thirteen. I am, okay,

25:33

Well, we're not looking for that right now. We're

25:36

looking for a young young kids, young young little

25:38

boys and girls to teach. That's illegal,

25:41

is it? We're an accredited university.

25:43

I understand that, and I am a teacher

25:46

with full certifications. I have my

25:48

masters, my e D. What

25:51

are you looking at me like that for? It just seems

25:53

that everything you recognize me from a show Where's

25:57

my Hipster? Is that where I see you from?

26:01

I've never seen someone exposed there anus like that on TV.

26:05

Let me get this straight. You you

26:09

you want to teach this class and now you're just taking

26:11

this class. I tried to teach it, and yeah,

26:15

that doesn't Why doesn't it make sense to you?

26:17

I wanted in, I'm getting in. Did

26:20

you know our our teacher was going to be thirteen?

26:22

I had my suspicions when the person

26:24

who interviewed me said I was too old. You

26:27

are a little old. I'm forty two.

26:30

My name is Dave and his name you?

26:33

Listen, why did you tell you that I

26:36

don't need that? Carl? I'm

26:38

familiar. Hi Carl? Anyway,

26:41

the man who interviewed me, you

26:44

were too old? Can I Carl?

26:49

I got it? Two? Dave's in a Carl in a tiny

26:51

little toddler, Bobby,

26:56

how long is this break? Are we supposed to be on break for a while?

26:59

I guess a new interviewed me

27:02

said he's looking for someone under thirty.

27:04

Okay, so listen, come in. Can

27:07

I trust you? Guys? Jesus, I

27:09

can do you one better than recording it. What are these

27:11

envelopes? Are you giving the look? This a little money?

27:14

Okay, just a little money for I'm

27:16

trying to do an expose. Shut

27:19

I'm not forty seven, I'm forty two. Look

27:22

at my skin. Okay,

27:25

listen, what I want to do? Expose

27:28

Okay, this is hush money. For now we're

27:30

going to crack the story open. I'm going to get my life

27:33

back on track. So we don't talk.

27:35

This is so we don't talk until I published

27:37

the expose. That's going to get my life back on track.

27:40

All right, guys, that was the break, and now it's

27:42

time to car next thing. Excuse

27:45

me, what was that I said?

27:48

I wish I could have children. Oh, I'm

27:50

so sorry. They're a blessing. I really blessed

27:52

my parents. They're so proud of me. What's

27:54

your brother's name? My brother's name is

27:57

We call him too, and

27:59

he does speak very well. You see your teacher's

28:01

assistant. No, I just have to babysit

28:04

him because Mike while you teach up. I

28:06

am so sorry. Are you not okay with having

28:08

a child? I'm not. This

28:11

baby is making eye contact with me right now.

28:14

Okay, let me pick up. I think it knows

28:17

my name. It could be are you talking to me? Or

28:19

the day? Which

28:21

day? Which day? Baby?

28:24

Which day? What secrets

28:26

do you have

28:29

you seen? Baby? Genius? A child knows

28:31

everything up to a certain point, and then once they crust

28:34

that point, I forgot all the story that is not the story

28:36

where I

28:38

gotta take this baby, Bobby. I'm sorry, I gotta

28:40

take how

28:45

much for this baby? All

28:47

right? Turn it over? Okay, there we go. Okay,

28:49

upside going do this quick,

28:51

mat on. I want to just want to get to the table.

28:53

How much all right? I

28:57

can give you in

29:00

dollars cash,

29:03

I'll do fifty grand. You

29:06

got to make a dollar over here. It's cash

29:09

shirty too. There

29:13

you go. Okay, hey

29:16

baby, baby sleeping, I was

29:18

sleeping ship

29:21

Um, that's when late. You know, I'm

29:23

home from class. Remember remember

29:26

when you were saying you wouldn't sleep with me because you don't respect

29:28

me because I don't do much with my life. But

29:30

I am in that web building

29:32

class and I thought maybe that would turn turn

29:35

you on. Hey, Dave, that relationship

29:37

you have a screepy ships. I mean,

29:39

you know she's of age, but she sounds like a tod She

29:42

just sounds like a baby. It's that's her night

29:44

voice. It's weird when she clears the throat.

29:46

It's better alright, man, because every time we've

29:48

hung out with the Buffalo wild Wings, that's how she talks because

29:50

she's it's a nighttime only hang out. Also, who

29:52

are you to give him about how a girlfriend sound?

29:55

Damn, Carl was a friend

29:57

to a friend. I think I can do that. Friend to a friend, says

29:59

you, girlfriend sounds like an idiot. Boo,

30:04

you don't think. Yeah,

30:10

you're proud of me in class? Wow, you

30:13

want to see to David Carl. No, that's

30:16

my teacher out there. That's Bobby Carl. Nipples

30:18

her heart? Yeah, right, kidding

30:21

me? All right, baby, i' seeing a little bit it.

30:24

Okay. See,

30:26

I'm telling me she didn't respect me for a very long time. Right.

30:29

That woman is an idiot. She doesn't respect

30:31

her an idiot, Dave, she doesn't respect herself.

30:34

What do you mean? How can you tell that she's got

30:36

a little toddlers football.

30:39

Maybe she's so intelligent, she's

30:41

figured it all out. She's a lady genius. She's

30:43

come back to the other side. That's not what a lady genius?

30:46

How are you talking about? What are you

30:48

calling? I gotta go. Don't take my wife

30:52

for a

30:58

right? What do you think? Jerry thirty

31:02

seven? You ships

31:06

sixty? Hey,

31:15

sorry with so you missed something. So it's control

31:18

v V. I'm

31:20

so sorry, but you took my brother earlier.

31:23

There's no way to prove that. No, I mean, I'm Bobby,

31:26

professor, Bobby, you know how long have you

31:28

been teaching? This is this is

31:30

my first class. But don't think of me as a I'm

31:33

good at it and that's how I got the job. But this

31:35

is my first She

31:37

picks me up at did they

31:40

hire you as a contractor or I'm

31:42

an independent contractor, but I could be a staff

31:44

members early in the morning. What

31:46

do you do after class? Get

31:51

the cup, Bobby, Okay,

31:53

okay, get the mom.

31:56

People gave me a really hard time at school

31:58

today, like this a grateful but I'm

32:00

driving it. No,

32:03

they'll just like suck on a little bit, puff it up.

32:08

You don't like it? Hate smoking? Oh,

32:12

cops, put this cocaine

32:14

in your pants. Put this

32:17

cocaine. Put this mustard, mustrooms

32:20

mustard. Come in.

32:24

I'm not getting in the vehicle. Oh absolutely.

32:26

We just rolled down the window. How are you, ma'am?

32:30

Yes, a license and registration.

32:33

Okay, let me find in here.

32:37

Let me just look for it really quick.

32:40

I saw that. We just take your seat. Do

32:44

you see your team? There

32:46

we go, let's go listen.

32:57

We here at the station, all agree

33:00

not to call you a woman. Cop, lady

33:02

cop, because you wanted to just be called cop

33:04

officer. Is that correct? Terrific

33:07

um? And yet you also begged

33:10

us to put you on the four am beat. Is that correct?

33:13

Yeah, which is typically

33:15

one of the hardest beats to patrol.

33:18

Great, So once again,

33:23

once again we trusted you again.

33:26

Where the problem is? You

33:28

pulled over somebody and they sped off. That's

33:30

on them, Sergeant

33:33

Tinkle. Sergeant Tinkle, Yes, they

33:35

ran over my fucking foot. Yes,

33:39

I think we just have a text message from your wife. Let

33:42

me see. Okay,

33:44

I am getting that's

33:47

under your business, lady copy

33:50

alright, alright, I want to respect you. You

33:54

do a terrible job. I that

33:57

is not on me. Here's

33:59

the good news. Your dash cam

34:02

take a picture of the license plate, so we have

34:04

the address of the purpose to

34:06

do a little health call. Yes, please

34:11

get your act together. You get your act

34:13

together. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I said that. Captain.

34:16

I'm gonna ask you a question because Captain I couldn't

34:18

remember what his title. Captain Tinkle to

34:22

you, I'm your search everyone else on the Captain,

34:25

do you work at the station or front

34:28

assistant? Friend, I

34:32

need a new partner. This

34:35

is Sean. Yeah, we've already moved

34:37

to three or four times already. I understand,

34:39

but I just can't deal with the

34:41

constant nagging and complaining.

34:44

You know, we're out there in the field. We got a

34:46

job to do. We got we have to serve, right,

34:49

we have to protect, and he's just complaining

34:52

constantly about what everything.

34:56

Excuse me, I've been waiting in the car, going

34:59

the car. I've been waiting outside with the car

35:02

running. That's wasting. Yeah,

35:05

and I gave you a couple of minutes. It's been like this Sunday

35:07

on Fox two Cops on the beat that you

35:09

need to see Carl and Sean hit

35:12

the streets. Okay,

35:14

we wanted him out to we go. We get a

35:16

burger and fries were done to get back on the

35:19

street with the hottest arrest you've ever

35:21

heard. Good,

35:24

don't. We don't have time for food right now. It's

35:26

this is not the sexiest arrest you've

35:29

ever heard. Put your clothes

35:31

back on. You're not supposed to have clothes off. Your officer,

35:34

not a stripper. I understand it was hot

35:37

you These arrests are gonna get you off,

35:39

guarantee it. Why are

35:41

you wearing handcuffs. I can't

35:43

find the key man, But

35:46

why did you put him on in the first place, Carl. These

35:48

arrests are gonna make you ask

35:51

me, Oh, that's

35:53

disgusting. What are you doing in the car,

35:56

Carl? I'm trying to ask questions to

35:58

the voiceover guy got

36:00

ship. These arrests are getting me off.

36:04

Why does heitor realized? Why doesn't

36:06

he just let people know what channel

36:09

we're on and what time we're on? This

36:11

is insane. I don't understand what we're

36:13

watching so the cops can hear the

36:15

voice the voice over, I

36:19

don't know what are we watching?

36:22

Well, I mean, is this YouTube

36:24

or TV? I think it's Internet

36:26

for sure. It says Fox, but it feels

36:29

like internet. He said come and

36:31

it takes. But you can say come

36:34

because you could be spelling it like

36:39

ejaculate, Sergeant Tinkle.

36:42

I hate to be the guy that keeps complaining about

36:44

Alex. Excuse

36:47

me, Lady Cole, Hey, anyway,

36:50

don't We've been having to write along

36:53

with the producers from the show, and they are distracting.

36:55

I'm trying to be a police officer and they're

36:59

I hear the are

37:01

you recasting? Well, I'm just I'm

37:05

curious you're cast. I'm

37:07

a cop cast member. Well, you know what, you

37:09

can get killed off at any minute. That's not

37:11

a threat. Al Right, guys, uh, we're

37:13

gonna be casting for a new cop show on

37:15

Fox. Is going to be a premier on Sundays, and it's

37:18

waited for a second. So just everyone give

37:20

me your headshots and resume. We're looking for somebody under

37:22

thirteen, as mammy, did you get your lunch older in there?

37:25

Not yet? Okay, let me get Let

37:27

me get too hummusburgers. I don't want anyone don't

37:29

want that with a lettuce wrap, grilled onions,

37:31

mushrooms, zucchini, and a little bit of a spigano.

37:33

Okaya all the way through the exactly

37:36

I've had that too.

37:39

Okay, so let's just get right

37:42

to it. Do we get

37:44

a lunch in the bullpen? Are

37:46

we in a bullpen? You're just auditioning, Thank you very

37:49

much. Okay, So let's let's just get

37:51

you right into it. We have twelve

37:54

great um, I feel like she's much older. She

37:57

sounds like a toddler though, yeah,

38:02

it's your forty one. Might

38:05

work older to play younger. So I like the

38:07

audition okay, great.

38:10

Um, I love sports and I

38:12

make my own jello awesome. Okay, great,

38:14

So let's just get in the scenario here. We have one of our fellow

38:17

actors here is gonna do a scene with you. Okay,

38:19

and he start on page three, okay three,

38:21

So do you have any questions? Do you understand what's going on?

38:24

Totally? Okay? Great? So this uh, this person

38:26

right here is gonna play a purp and I'm

38:28

going to be filming your feet. Great. And

38:30

so what he's been doing has been a stuffing cadavers with

38:32

drugs, just like in Bad Boys Too. Are you familiar? I

38:35

have the script right here, okay. So there's certain

38:37

extra extacy pills that have been stamped, and

38:39

that's how we're gonna find out where they are. I'm doing

38:41

fine. And so you are in an on tops

38:44

room a morgue, and you're in Mount Miami

38:46

South Beach. Okay, and get

38:48

it together all right? You know? And

38:51

there's a and just like in the film, there's a cadaver with

38:53

breast that like it inappropriately touches.

38:55

So we start, yes, we can, and

38:57

we're gonna we're gonna start what Ever,

39:00

when I start blinking, you start looking me in the eyes

39:02

when I start blinking. Okay, what

39:05

time you get four? Okay,

39:08

you weren't supposed to be here till thirty? What's up?

39:12

I'm early? That's

39:15

right. I was wondering why you're early? This

39:17

is pretty good drugs say

39:19

that while he's auditioning drug you're

39:22

early because of the drugs? Is there just one line

39:24

on each page everywhere?

39:28

Yeah? Yeah, you got you got that.

39:30

Listen. I'm

39:32

uh huh sure. Let's

39:36

see that again. Let's go from the top again, and

39:38

this time does he really have one word

39:41

on every page? Yes, yes, it's

39:43

easier that way. That's how he branded it. He can't

39:45

figure the printer out. It's easy that. I can't

39:47

figure that. I took a class on this stuff. It just this

39:51

professor. He was old as ship. He didn't know what. It

39:53

doesn't matter. I don't

39:55

know, like the gotta

39:59

go to a zoo USA if

40:01

you want to go to that online college. No, it's

40:03

not online, it's in real life and they

40:05

have professors as young as thirteen are

40:08

teaching you the most cutting edge approach to the

40:10

dark web and other things. And also you

40:12

should be able to figure out how to work that printer in no

40:14

time. It's content

40:16

so good it'll make you come into

40:29

Hi gang. I got my brother listening, so

40:32

I did my part. Shout out to Ben. We

40:38

go back to the first moon landing

40:41

mission. The astronauts have just taken

40:43

off, but soon after takeoff, they realized that NASA

40:46

engineers did not include a bathroom. Frantically,

40:49

they are in touch with Houston to create such

40:51

a device. Allah Apollo thirteen

40:53

and can't wait to hear what happens. PS. I love

40:56

you all equally from

40:58

Corey. Uh,

41:04

wake up Houston, wake up man? Wake

41:12

can you talking to him? You're sleep? I'll

41:15

call if you're a sleep may but on this for thirty

41:18

seven hours. A. Yeah,

41:20

this is Houston. We just want

41:22

to make sure you Felas had that third

41:24

meal and everything is that you can do? Is

41:29

that? Is that? Is that a bad thing? Yeah? Well that's

41:31

probably that's coming from your end. That that

41:34

sounds that's not that's not me. It's got to be from

41:36

year around. Oh I found Is

41:39

that is that bad? Is that me? Well? I don't know if

41:41

it's bad or you? But how did that third

41:43

meal go? And went good?

41:46

Uh? Third meal went good? We are eating our

41:48

FilmOn. Yeah,

41:52

secret recipe, A secret recipe.

41:56

Excuse excuse me? Excuse me to

41:59

call. I can't seem to

42:01

find the bathroom. I've checked and this is the last

42:03

door and you're here, so

42:06

it's not a bathroom, right, I

42:10

need to use the restroom. I I feel

42:12

a little sick. That's on you. I got I get

42:14

on what to do for you? Okay? Does

42:17

any can we do a quick roll call of who's

42:19

in the shuttle and who's in at

42:22

Houston? Why do we have to do that? It's

42:26

not for me? You know, it's protocol. Everything around

42:30

the control center you'll see who's there up

42:32

in so I know you are. You have

42:34

to say when I call your name, you to say Space or

42:37

Houston? How many people? Why

42:40

did you look around yourself and see? If it's not for

42:43

me, it's protocol. Okay, So I want to call your name, Please

42:45

say either Space or Houston. Okay,

42:47

we go? Uh Derek, thank

42:50

you? Johanna. I'm

42:56

sorry? Did you say Derek was in space? Okay?

42:59

Because I'm on the Apollo thirteen. There's

43:02

there's no Derek here here?

43:04

Is there another Johanna?

43:06

You're in in Brisbane? Okay?

43:09

You shouldn't be on this channel. I didn't

43:11

know what we're talking about. No, well we have

43:13

Apolo seventy one. What is going

43:15

on coming over Brisbane? I think

43:17

you guys are tracking Polo. Okay,

43:23

yes, I'm in space and there is an emergence

43:25

space. We're not there just yet, Johanna.

43:29

Okay, Derek,

43:32

did you get in contact with Houston. I've

43:35

been talking to them and they are just doing

43:37

roll call right now. So I have no answers. Oh,

43:39

Man, I did something sucked up? What did you do? Just

43:42

they fucked up? What did you do? I

43:45

cut up Sean and the pete inside of Man. I

43:47

didn't know where to go. Man, I didn't know where to go. No,

43:50

no, no, no, no, no, Spider, No,

43:54

you're in space a space. Okay,

43:58

great, look this test

44:00

is flawed. Then if that guy doesn't know where he is, we have to

44:02

redo it. Okay, well, okay, just real quick,

44:05

I don't think the test is flawed. Sean

44:08

Sean, Sean

44:10

wasn't okay, Johanna, can we just get a live feed

44:12

on him? Derek, Derek, I just wanted Derek

44:14

speaking in space. Uh, this is

44:16

an emergency, So if we could just skip this next name.

44:19

Okay, so that Spider's screaming, right,

44:21

who's taking roll? Call? I am Spice.

44:26

We haven't gotten to me. Oh my god,

44:30

hold on that. You gotta be quiet.

44:32

That's my god. Do I cut

44:34

his body up in Houston?

44:38

Spider? Oh my god? Can you please?

44:40

Okay? Spider side

44:44

side and cut him up side?

44:47

He caught up Sean and a

44:50

crazy sense of humor and Australian

44:53

actually what we we joke like

44:55

that too? Good? From

44:59

my story report, I did

45:01

mind on the Apollo seventy one mission.

45:04

There's no such thing. Sit down they

45:07

that did happen? It did happen to Pete,

45:09

and sit down. If

45:11

anybody brings up any missions that they've

45:13

heard their parents talk about that I don't have in

45:16

this book, your

45:18

ass is grass. Mr and Mrs Morgan,

45:20

thank you for coming into my office. Egency,

45:23

Well, the emergency is that your son is spitting

45:25

some conspiracy theories to the class and it's wait,

45:28

wait, wait, wait, that's

45:30

my husband the Apolo seventy one mission. Oh my

45:33

god, did you tell

45:35

him? Of course I told him. It's employees'

45:37

studying. He's ten years

45:40

old and it's not a conspiracy

45:42

theory. We lost a

45:44

good uncle on that. Hi

45:49

Mrs me Loaf, Yeah, um,

45:52

you know me, of course I do. You've worked

45:55

with our family for Sean

45:57

and you've gone Wait, come inside, thank

45:59

you very much. Do you remember that's Dave. I'm Dave.

46:02

Um. Please have a seat. Okay,

46:04

why are we back? It's about okay,

46:07

it's a cliffy fee? Okay,

46:10

should I should sit down? You should probably

46:12

sit down? Are you gonna stand? Do

46:16

you guys mind if we stand in the backyard. Mrs

46:18

metelof Sean come come with me.

46:20

Let's go. I want to lift the fee out in the backyard,

46:24

just through this glass door. All right, Sean

46:27

is dead, Oh my god. But

46:29

it gets a little bit worse. Are these crystals

46:32

he didn't die? Are these crystal?

46:35

Those aren't real? Crystal nose? They

46:37

look real? Those were from Sean

46:40

didn't die in a respectable

46:43

manner. He was cut up, and then Pete and side

46:45

He was cut up and then Pete and sead of Okay,

46:50

okay, okay, the other bend

46:52

news is spider, Hey, neighbor,

46:54

what's going on? Okay? You know what?

46:56

I'm having a private conversation. Maybe

46:58

if you want a private convert stations. Maybe you should fix

47:01

your fence. Like I mentioned, missus meat love

47:03

just please guys, gang

47:05

bang just miss now her husband died.

47:08

Her husband's dead, Sean, Yeah, he got

47:10

cut up in the every

47:13

business, Come back inside. I don't want to be in the yard,

47:16

you know, you know what. I don't want to be near your backyard.

47:18

But you won't fix your damn fans. Bitch. But

47:22

Jane, what's happening now? He was having

47:24

a party with I don't know what she's doing, but she's

47:26

out there with some guys and suits root

47:29

and Sean got cut up and piston. It's

47:32

none of your guys business. Come on bus,

47:37

Okay, I will premise. And

47:39

if your dog poops on my yard again,

47:41

honey, I'm stuffing her. Please do Mommy,

47:44

mommy, what why are you quieting? I'm

47:46

let's go inside of old your good I'm

47:52

month one months old, forty

47:54

good months here because

47:57

your daddy got cut up and people don't

47:59

say it. I

48:02

like to come in. I

48:04

don't want to have this is this? Is this crystal or

48:06

fake crystals? Crystal? No,

48:09

just meat loaves do not have crystal.

48:11

They can't even fix the damn fence. If you found out. That's

48:14

Crystal. Sell it to me. Where do you think

48:16

you are a cowboy? Yeah?

48:18

I just just where do you guys work? You

48:21

know? I work for that's

48:23

that that's a space program.

48:26

It stands for National Ariotics

48:29

Space and Association.

48:32

Come in stands the last Stop

48:35

talking to my neighbors and what come

48:40

inside? Oh?

48:44

Do inside my house? The

48:46

neighbors? You

48:49

fix that damn fence. Well, we don't have to

48:51

come inside your half that dude? Should

48:53

we just go in the kitchen's I guess we misunderstood.

48:56

We thought you were inviting everybody. Yeah, can

48:58

we please go inside? Get no,

49:01

I was trying to get away from you guys. My my husband

49:03

just dog just got hit

49:05

by car. So what do you want eat? I

49:08

want to leave crying. I understand

49:10

that, But we just we got a job to do. Okay, well you already

49:12

did the job. What are you going through her pantry?

49:15

Where's that keep the bread? That has? So I'm looking for you, sa

49:17

Dave, Dave, let's beat it, Dave.

49:20

We gotta hang for a bit. What do you got

49:22

a job to do? We're from NASA. By the way, do you see

49:24

that neighbor? Which one the one that's all like the

49:27

which one was? Well, she's like, all right, where's

49:29

that? I don't know. Did we

49:31

meet them or no? Yeah we met him, I

49:37

don't think so. Listen, we're gonna we're

49:39

gonna head out soon. Where do you keep your

49:41

meat? Which drawer do you have your meeting? Well? I have

49:43

everything's in the fridge. You

49:46

guys, don't eat my food. You make I

49:49

am making sand pitches? Would she like one?

49:52

Please? Okay, tell

49:54

me what happened to my daddy again? Let me just put

49:57

you up in this counter. Okay,

49:59

now it's just a gasp, Yes it is. I

50:02

what was my booty? Alright?

50:04

Well do you know what space travel is? Yes?

50:06

That's my daddy does. Okay, very well he

50:08

did. So what happened was out in space?

50:11

We forgot to put a little peepe room spider.

50:14

What's up man? You call me? Yeah? What's

50:17

going on? Man? Huh? Nothing? Just I just

50:19

think I then talking to my wife and my little

50:21

baby girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's

50:24

up you? Uh? It looks a little weird,

50:26

dude, bad? You know what?

50:28

I can't find the bathroom anywise? Got bad?

50:30

Man, that's crazy, that's crazy. Publish

50:35

anyone? Do you? Yep? Copy.

50:37

We are good. Just want you hang on that for a second. Hu

50:39

okay, so that up

50:41

for second. Many body looks like a little peepee room.

50:43

Huh. I'll

50:46

tell you what inside it is like cavernous

50:49

and waiting for urine. You know what I mean. Um

50:52

listen, I'm gonna grab some of thistro and

50:55

so that's all the auto recordings we have. That's

50:59

that's awful. I think that that man, I think

51:01

that was the man who did it. Oh, no, we know, we

51:03

know it is. Well, are you going to retrieve him the

51:05

American here? We can't. We're not gonna arrest him that he's

51:08

an astronaut. So there's laws. But

51:11

we can't have you talk about the mission because it's

51:14

hands. Have you have a refrigerator ship?

51:16

The beef? Oh, the beef, I'm

51:19

burning it. That

51:23

was your I thought it was your daughter. I'm a girl. That's

51:26

just so upset. My beef

51:30

is alright, Dave, alright, Dave, he put the

51:32

knife down, puts the knife down.

51:34

We'll get it away from the from Mrs me Long. She's

51:37

fucking next. You're gonna slice

51:39

her up in pe inside of her. I don't mind, don't

51:41

do it, please, don't do it. Cut that kid

51:44

up and that white me look

51:46

at Okay, that's just the boo boo. Everything's fine,

51:48

everybody relaxed, Dave. I

51:50

just want to go over your last couple

51:52

of house. Do

51:55

you want me on the right? I'd

51:58

love to have you on the radio. Is

52:00

that is that? Jo Is Johanna? I

52:02

just need jop Hanna, jop

52:04

Hanny, Deep,

52:08

Joe, Joe Hen.

52:12

They're big fans of here. I've never

52:14

heard that before. No, you're serious, not an

52:16

actually song, Dave?

52:20

Yeah, what's up? I'm sorry

52:22

to Dave Jones. Who's

52:24

in spice? At this point

52:26

where we've lost track of who's in space?

52:29

I think it's easy to figure out that spiders

52:32

sunny

52:34

voice. I didn't

52:36

know you did funny voices? Yeah, you

52:38

know, I do. I loved it. I'll

52:42

do it again. Who's in space? Joan?

52:50

So you're saying you've never heard that, I've never

52:52

heard that. Nor that was sarcastic. I

52:55

think, so, Dave, what is your problem? If we could narrow

52:57

down, let's go through. Do they feel like three

53:00

things that are a problem? One what

53:02

you're asking me, that's

53:04

what I'm picking up. Both earth

53:06

bound, yes and

53:09

they've been making house calls to a

53:11

widow and I'm getting horrible

53:13

reports. Well, I don't mind. You tried

53:16

to put a baby on a stove cooking.

53:19

Yes, but look, it's not my it's not our fault

53:21

that we have to keep going back and talking to her. Okay, it's

53:24

your job. That

53:27

point is that my falls my job. We have to keep going back.

53:29

We have to keep doing these house visits. You don't

53:31

keep going back to the same house. I don't

53:33

understand why. Next on the agenda is we have to go

53:35

visit Spider's life. I'm not doing and give

53:38

her a metal. No, yes, it seems

53:40

weird. But before we do that, we're

53:42

gonna go to Mrs Meatlope, you're not going

53:44

back to me. We cut. Are

53:47

you doing back here? Well, I'm already

53:50

gotta knock. We just want you to know that

53:52

Spider's wife is getting the metal. Why

53:57

that's salting the wind, he's

54:00

getting the hero idiot. You

54:05

never told us to get out Mrs meat

54:08

Loaf. We want to read what's going to be inscribed

54:10

in the plaque. I don't cook these ribs or no, please

54:12

don't cook the riper for tomorrow having

54:16

killed Yeah,

54:19

he's getting the metal. Yeah, so it says

54:22

to the White Spider

54:24

is a national hero for his

54:26

valor in slicing and dicing

54:29

and peeing in I

54:35

think good. Please,

54:37

why are you cooking that meat ribs?

54:40

I love cooking up for every kind

54:42

of sauce. I do dry. I

54:44

don't use any sauce. I let the meat

54:46

speak for itself. So I hope it's good. Yeah, I do

54:49

dry to my girlfriend, Johannah loves

54:51

when I do dry rubs Johannah.

54:54

Yeah, I mean so, I mean, have you met her? That's

54:57

a crazy question to ask somebody who don't know. What do

54:59

you mean? Have you your girlfriend? Dude? Your

55:02

girlfriend tells your problem? A

55:05

girlfriend? You said

55:07

she was in Australia. The

55:12

hell is your deal? Man? Are

55:15

you SpaceX? Might be what

55:19

is spacextand for well space

55:22

and then the X part is the X factor.

55:24

Oh interesting, Yeah, so it's are

55:26

you in X? Yeah? I

55:29

don't think you did, baby, I didn't know that.

55:31

Well, it's kind of a secret mission. I thought

55:33

you made ink blotters. No, we try to build

55:36

journals for spaceships. Oh,

55:38

we need we want to be on the cutting

55:41

yea space. Hello, everybody,

55:44

you're probably finding this moment strange? Dave,

55:46

what are you doing? You're talking to you? They put

55:48

you're all currently in space? What

55:51

this is a simulation?

55:54

You are not actually in alt

55:56

Tadina, Dave, what are you doing? This is the greatest

55:58

ships alive. We're in space,

56:01

baby. I

56:03

don't know how we got here, dude, when

56:05

we were asleep at aliens abductives. I

56:08

don't understand. Dave, what's going on? Dave, looking

56:10

the mirror, Look in the mirror. Day

56:12

you're the one talking on the megaphone. Oh

56:14

my god, I'm the one talking on the map.

56:18

There's only one day. Oh my god, Dave,

56:21

put your pants on. Man, be

56:24

so bad. I gotta be so

56:27

bad. It's the strangest damn mission

56:29

I've ever been on. Baby. But if we survive, I

56:31

want you to know I love you and our children

56:33

I love you too. This is the

56:35

mission we're on. Apparently is

56:38

blown. I thought we were just coming over

56:41

to visit the neighborhood. Didn't fix the damn fence

56:43

outside space too. But

56:46

it's all got to be on a ship because the outside

56:48

looks like a yard. Whoa

56:52

the party one going? It's

56:54

not going good. I think that my

56:58

space made who killed

57:00

one already? I think he

57:02

needs to go to the bathroom again and I fear

57:04

for my life. Okay,

57:07

so you bring us back

57:09

down to earth? What are you talking about? Could you

57:11

bring us back down like a recall? Take

57:13

off the heads over a bit? Okay? Did we agree,

57:16

Joanna and Brisbane on the radio? Did we

57:18

agree that we're calling it spice

57:20

nights? I

57:23

don't know what other word I can say. That

57:27

was protocol hearing

57:29

spice night and note

57:31

to myself, spacemates was the name

57:33

of our final scene in the episode.

57:36

Uh, I's like all of our alchemists today,

57:39

starting with Chris Alvarano. Thank you so

57:41

much. Path you're waiting on the studio and

57:44

shout out to whoever you'd like or whatever

57:46

you'd like to all the lovely people out there. So

57:49

the not lovely people don't get

57:52

a shout out. I understand, Venete, I

57:55

shout out to the not lovely. Let's

57:58

cover all of them ye with love love?

58:00

Yeah absolutely, dot Com,

58:02

yes absolutely, and Dannie's the typewriter on Instagram

58:05

and yeah everyone

58:07

that has it's a great pet owner. I would

58:09

give a mad props, right, James

58:13

Zeney, thank you guys for tuning in

58:15

the loveliest the unlovelies. But check

58:17

out our Instagram. Danny has

58:19

been killing it. Now when you say

58:21

Danny, do you mean Joey Greer? Know you

58:24

keep saying you must be out of your Who's

58:28

Danny the guy holding the camera?

58:32

Oh? He was in Chicago last week. Business.

58:36

I didn't understand. But

58:39

our Instagram's killing. Danny's

58:42

killing so and that's

58:44

all you want to tell folks. Yeah, just check out? Wait?

58:47

Can you also tell him to write and review the show? Oh?

58:49

Yeah, please rate and review the show. There's

58:52

been some great since Scrowdy

58:54

Wayne, I don't remember his name, but so

58:56

many other people have put in great reviews. You

58:58

should just go and read the reviews times. They're fun

59:00

to read. Will you read us a couple when we do our media?

59:02

Yes, let's do that. Can

59:05

you remember to do that? Oh

59:07

yeah? Joey Grierman Jeffy

59:11

Greeber at the various social media that's it

59:13

Man and I just released an album.

59:17

Got a comedy album called good Night downloaded

59:19

on Spotify, iTunes wherever.

59:22

While iTunes is still a thing iTunes if

59:24

you have Apple Music, it's free with Spotify. Wait

59:26

is iTunes to Jeopardy Going Away, that

59:29

being discontinued, wait that, we'll

59:31

talk about it next episode. Let's thank

59:33

your engineer to the stars Mr Doug bab Our,

59:36

post signed design artist and

59:40

I Heard Media. Thanks for the auspice as always,

59:45

Oh my god, I'm your host, Kevin

59:47

Polk until next time. And

1:00:00

a football pepper and

1:00:18

a football pepper.