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Welcome to another brand new episode

0:42

of All Fantasy Everything, the podcast

0:44

that fantasy drafts anything and

0:46

also everything from the world of pop

0:49

culture. On today's episode, we will be

0:51

drafting magazines, a topic that

0:53

surprisingly has eluded

0:55

us for 435 episodes. So

0:57

lucky number 436. Here we

0:59

go. Joining us today are

1:01

fabulous stand -up comedians, just all -around

1:03

talents and amazing friends, Katrina

1:05

Davis and Adam Cate and

1:07

Holland. I'm Sean Jordan. Joining

1:09

us as always, Mr. David

1:11

Borey, Ian Carmel, firmly

1:14

planted in Bolivia, writing

1:16

his memoir. You think that's what he's doing? Yeah,

1:18

yeah, yeah. What's in that memoir? The

1:21

other one. What's the other? Anyway. You can

1:23

double memoir. Anyway,

1:27

everybody can talk. We're in. I

1:29

don't know why we still do this. We used

1:31

to do that soft intro and then switch and do

1:33

a different intro. And now we just do that and

1:36

then say. We're in and everybody

1:38

can start talking. It's nice. It's

1:40

just unlock the gates. Everybody

1:42

come. Everybody get in here. We're

1:44

clamoring. We're clamoring to get

1:46

some audio time. Open season. You

1:48

all did make me think that Ian

1:50

does dress like a memoir a lot

1:53

now. Like he just constantly.

1:55

He's into jazz, which is memoirish.

1:57

He just got real into

1:59

jazz. Did he? Is it memoirish? I

2:01

think so. I feel like his hats

2:03

are memoirish these days. The

2:05

only. The only jazz memoir I

2:07

ever read was kind of terrifying. Yeah,

2:10

I bet. I read Miles

2:12

Davis' memoir. I was like, was

2:14

it horrible and as in

2:16

lots of heroin? I mean, he

2:18

was going for it. What

2:20

I learned from that memoir is

2:22

some motherfuckers just can't play. Is

2:26

that the name of the memoir?

2:28

Yeah, basically. Some motherfucker is just him

2:30

talking shit about everybody he's playing

2:32

with. Yeah. A lot of him being

2:34

very cavalier about very historic times.

2:36

I don't know. I used to just

2:38

go down there. I was high.

2:40

I was playing. And you're like, cool.

2:43

Just Miles not fully grasping the

2:45

magnitude. That's how it felt. That's how

2:48

a lot of it felt. Yeah. I

2:51

love that. You don't want Miles Davis being

2:53

like, and then I showed up and I

2:55

was fucking mastermind again. I like, he's like, I

2:57

don't know. I was just doing my thing.

2:59

That's true. You also don't, I find with like

3:02

a lot of that stuff, you don't want

3:04

him. I love a cavalier genius. You don't

3:06

want him nervous. You don't want him to be

3:08

like, I was so scared. Yeah. Yeah. You

3:10

want him to be like, I just had

3:12

sex, finished a cigarette and then record it. And

3:14

that's pretty fun. I like my jazz musicians

3:16

with a dirty dick. That's how I like it.

3:18

Yeah, yeah. And black lungs. Sounded like he

3:20

was smoking during the sex. What?

3:22

It sounded like he was smoking during the

3:24

sex the way you said it. Just had

3:27

sex, finish my cigarette. Did they used to

3:29

do that? I, okay. Can I be,

3:31

can I be crass for a second? Oh boy.

3:33

I've always wanted, and I don't even smoke weed.

3:35

I've always wanted to take a hit off a

3:37

blunt while I'm having sex. While you're doing it.

3:39

Yeah. I feel like you

3:41

can do it. I feel like you can do it.

3:43

I feel like that's an achievable goal. It is. I

3:45

know. People have sexual fetishes that they're never going to

3:48

reach. I feel like you might be. in the house,

3:50

so we got to do it in the yard, and

3:52

that'll be the tough sell. That'll

3:56

be the tough sell. All right. You're

3:59

a dad. Get yourself a tent, my

4:01

man. That's what I think. Sean has

4:03

some romantic camp set up all of

4:05

a sudden. She thinks it's

4:07

because of their anniversary. It's because he wants

4:09

to smoke a blunt while he's in

4:11

it. Smoke a blunt while he pumps. Why

4:14

is there a bottle of Jameson here? Because

4:16

I want to do it all. If I'm

4:19

doing it once, I don't win. I'm going

4:21

to get this chance again. Well, that was

4:23

all I thought was... Smoking a blunt is

4:25

such a sleepy activity to do while you're

4:27

like, you know, getting your heart going. Yeah.

4:29

Hey, good and evil. Flame Boy and Wet

4:31

Willie. Is

4:33

that what you say during sex? The

4:36

front end of the blunt. You got

4:38

initiative at that point. You're

4:40

setting out to have fun. Back end lazy.

4:42

Boy, yeah, I'm not going to do the end

4:44

of it. Are you lighting it and then

4:46

starting or are you starting and then lighting? In

4:48

my mind, we're already going. Can

4:51

you just grab it? It's

4:54

lit. It's

4:57

off screen. It's lit. Getting

4:59

the spark going. This is

5:01

where it gets complicated because now the tent's on

5:03

fire. You might need a buddy to hand it

5:05

to you outside the tent. You reach your hand

5:07

out. Not getting the lighter working

5:09

would be tough on that. I'm

5:11

not sold on this tent idea. I think more

5:14

of a blank in the yard. I

5:16

ran with the tent idea. $300, $400

5:18

Zippo, I think, is what I'm going to

5:20

invest in. Is that how much that

5:22

costs? A good one, probably. Aren't

5:24

Zippos kind of pricey? I

5:27

don't know. I remember seeing dudes with

5:29

Zippos when I was like 20 and

5:31

they were the dude. That's a cool

5:33

guy. I was going to say my

5:35

friend got her boyfriend one in high

5:37

school and it was like a very

5:39

cool thing for him to have. Yeah.

5:42

They would just light them. Just be lighting

5:44

them. You know, they'd like flick it, light

5:46

it, flick the thing and you're like wasting

5:48

so much. Fluid. Like a butterfly

5:50

knife that's on fire, you know?

5:52

I knew I'll share one pack of

5:54

cigarettes a week. Yes. Dude, I

5:56

knew a kid, now I realize, was

5:58

in junior high school who had

6:00

a Zippo that was his dad's in

6:02

NOM, and it had tick marks

6:04

for every day that he had been

6:06

in NOM. I got

6:08

news for you. Those are bodies, dude.

6:10

That's not. That's

6:13

a body count on the side of that. His

6:17

dad was an assassin.

6:19

It definitely was. That

6:21

makes sense why his dad was so quiet at that

6:23

point, because I met the guy. He didn't have a lot

6:25

to say. Oh, my goodness.

6:27

Yeah. Nom dads are real. Yeah.

6:30

He did ask if I was VC, which

6:32

I think was weird at the time. Yeah, yeah,

6:34

yeah, yeah. Venture capitalist,

6:36

though. He was looking for a startup.

6:38

Yeah, he had a Zippo company. He

6:43

was reselling exotic Zippos. So,

6:46

yeah, let's just go. Let's go

6:49

around the table. Katrina. Katrina Davis joining

6:51

us at Katrina Savad on Instagram.

6:53

Am I correct? Yeah. Across all platforms,

6:55

I assume? Yep. All the same.

6:57

It's just Davis backwards. Yeah.

6:59

Yeah. Trickster. God damn it. Where

7:02

can you point the people? What's

7:04

going on? Um, I have a Father's

7:06

Day show coming up at Union

7:08

Hall. If you live in New York,

7:10

it's going to be like comedy

7:13

and illustrations. You can come with your

7:15

dad. You can come if you

7:17

hate your dad. You can come like

7:19

if you're trying to forgive your

7:21

dad. It's like all different kinds of

7:23

because it's kind of about like

7:26

me being just like who used to

7:28

be my least favorite parent and

7:30

then us kind of becoming low key

7:32

best friends. Because we've been the

7:34

same person the whole time. So, yeah,

7:36

I'm really excited to do it.

7:39

And that's like, and then I'll be

7:41

in Colorado and Boulder also at

7:43

the end of June. Is

7:46

your dad's name Spoon? No.

7:49

Why did I think that? Because

7:52

I, because

7:54

there's a viral clip where he,

7:56

I used to carry around a

7:58

spoon when I was little. And

8:01

he used to yell about it because he

8:03

did not like it because it was very weird.

8:05

And he used to just say, I ain't

8:07

gonna have my child carrying around no spoon. And

8:09

his friend calls me Spoonie because I used

8:11

to carry around the spoon. And then

8:13

the... clip is just everyone calling

8:15

me autistic underneath. It's pretty cool. That's

8:18

the only reason you probably saw

8:20

it. Internet is fun. A bunch of

8:22

those fathers that you're trying to...

8:24

a weird anecdote that I brought that

8:26

was incorrect. I was like, oh

8:28

yeah, Katrina's dad, Spoon. No, I'm Spoon

8:30

-y. That's very funny. I mean, I

8:32

knew a dude named Spoon and

8:34

he was... He was sketchy, so it's

8:36

all right. No, I don't think

8:39

they just hand that name out. Yeah,

8:41

no. Yeah, I don't think I

8:43

would know my dad as well as I do if

8:45

he was Spoonie. Spoonie

8:48

didn't stick around. I would have

8:50

heard tell that he was at

8:52

one point named Spoonie as I

8:54

try to imagine his face in

8:56

my head. Right, right. Spoonie

8:59

is a name people say and then take a drag

9:01

of their cigarette. Spoon?

9:04

You Spoonie's kid? I don't want

9:06

anyone to know I'm Spoonie's kid because

9:08

they're looking for money and I

9:10

don't have it. Yes. Spoon came

9:12

through here once. Spoonie

9:16

is a rolling stone. For

9:18

sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just

9:21

getting cigarettes and you just got a note

9:23

like Spoon couldn't make it. I'm picking him up

9:25

for him. Hey, if he stuck around,

9:27

they would have called him Fork. Let's

9:30

go. Yeah,

9:32

go check that out. Union Hall. How

9:34

is Union Hall? Man, that place is dope,

9:36

right? It's awesome. It's just like a

9:38

nice little basement and they have like people

9:40

upstairs playing bocce ball. Is that the

9:42

fan game? People get

9:44

intense. I

9:46

had a little phase. It's a

9:48

good game. Yeah? Yeah, it's a

9:50

good game. It's fun. I mean,

9:52

it's, you know. That and horseshoes

9:55

are two of my favorite outside

9:57

games. They're fairly even. You

9:59

can be all right at horseshoes

10:01

or bocce without having played a ton

10:03

of horseshoes and bocce. Okay. You

10:05

get lucky. You know what I mean?

10:08

Yeah. I mean, Sean, you're pretty

10:10

athletic. I think you downplay it, but I

10:12

think you're probably better than me. You're pretty athletic.

10:15

Well, David, thank you so much. was a nice...

10:17

I don't even know what to say. I'm shook.

10:19

I appreciate it. You want me to go back?

10:21

Fuck you. Speaking

10:24

of fuck you, also joining

10:26

us, Adam, Kate and Holland.

10:28

What is it on Instagram,

10:30

dude? Adam fucking you Holland.

10:32

No, Kate and Holland

10:34

on Instagram, right? Yeah. Kate and Holland.

10:36

No hyphen. C -A -Y -T -O -N -H -O -L -L

10:38

-A -N -G. Can I ask, was that

10:40

a U -Haul joke? I don't know

10:42

what it was, man. I tried being, I

10:44

tried being aggressive for a minute. It didn't take

10:46

them. I didn't even hear it. I was

10:49

focusing on the spelling of my name. I didn't

10:51

even listen. I couldn't, I tuned it out.

10:53

You know, our daughter is, she's starting to learn

10:55

like words and not quite how to spell,

10:57

but kind of how to spell. And I realized

10:59

I couldn't spell my middle name until I

11:01

was like nine. It's Patrick. I, is that late?

11:04

Yes. Yes. Not early for your old

11:06

name. I think it's. Because

11:09

I think you heard your own name

11:11

before you actually could spell. My four -year -old

11:13

can spell his middle name. Yeah,

11:16

but his middle name is C. Yeah, but his

11:18

middle name is an X. We just have to make

11:21

his mark. Are

11:23

all those documents he has to sign?

11:25

Oh, dog, I'm taking out loans on number

11:27

two. That's smart. That's

11:29

smart. Your homie is in debt.

11:33

But he's got four LCs. You

11:36

like this car? It's yours. Get in the back. Happy

11:39

18th birthday, homie. You're going to find out

11:41

a lot of secrets. I got you a

11:43

flat tummy tea company. Yeah. I'm going to

11:45

go have lunch with Spoon while you read

11:47

this document. Let

11:50

me know what you think. If

11:52

you're feeling froggy, let me know. Anyway, CH, where can

11:54

the people find you? What do you got? Point them

11:56

towards stuff. Guys, I got a new spesh. It's on

11:58

my YouTube. It's called 20 years

12:00

in comedy. And all I got

12:02

was this lousy special. And I filmed

12:04

it at the dive bar called

12:06

the lion's lair where I started. And

12:08

so it was very fun. It's

12:10

a cool, interesting looking special. I love

12:12

it. It's up on YouTube right

12:15

now. So check it out. And then

12:17

I also wanted to plug, listen,

12:19

AFV's got clout everywhere, but I know

12:21

you've got heavy Portland, Oregon clout.

12:23

So I'd like to start sounding the

12:25

fucking drum for May 22nd. I'm

12:27

headlining helium. I want Portland out

12:29

there. I got Derek Sheen opening for me.

12:31

Adam Posse's on the show. Maybe Sean

12:33

Jordan drops in, does a set. Who knows?

12:35

Portland 522 Helium. Love to see you

12:37

there. Let's do it. Let's get it. Also,

12:39

I was there. Not a lousy special.

12:41

I saw it. And I watched it. Can

12:43

concur. Also not lousy at all. I

12:45

very much enjoyed it. Yeah. Bory opened for

12:47

me and gave me the sweetest intro

12:49

ever. And it made me all in my

12:51

fields right before I had to get

12:53

on stage and tape. It was so nice

12:55

though. And we have that clipped up

12:57

and I'm going to release it someday to

12:59

destroy you on the internet. That's okay.

13:02

I meant it, man. That was a big

13:04

deal for me. Anyways, it was really

13:06

sweet. It gave me a lovely heartfelt introduction

13:08

and it was a nice moment. So

13:10

yeah, the specials on YouTube now, check it

13:12

out y 'all. That's rad. Isn't that rad

13:14

when you get like a legit, no

13:16

shade on like your run of the mill

13:18

intro, but like when somebody really, when

13:20

it's from the heart, it makes you feel

13:22

so good right before you go up.

13:24

And it kind of, for me anyways, makes

13:26

me realize this is all fun. This

13:28

is supposed to be fun why we do

13:30

this and we shouldn't get like terrified

13:32

or like super consumed with. you know

13:34

what I mean? Like how many people see it. It's

13:36

just the fact that we get to do it. It's

13:38

so dope. And so that, I don't know. Sorry for

13:40

getting all emotional. No, you're right. You're right. You forget

13:43

about like what it all means. And this was like

13:45

a nostalgia special, 20 years in comedy, blah, blah, blah.

13:47

But in your head, you're just like, whatever, Bory's funny.

13:49

I'd love to have him open. He'll rip it open.

13:51

It'd be great. And then he like hits you with

13:53

like, Oh wait, here's what my relationship to you means.

13:55

And I was like, God damn. And it was, it

13:57

was a lovely, sweet moment. It was a great night.

13:59

Yeah, man. It was fun. I like a bad intro.

14:02

Yeah. When they fuck

14:04

it up, they're like, this guy. I

14:06

think he was on Last Comic

14:08

Standing. David Gorby. David

14:11

Gorby. We were

14:13

joking about that before you got on, dude. People

14:15

say I'm on Netflix all the time. Never, never

14:17

even sniffed it. They're like, but this guy's from

14:19

Netflix. And I'm like, if you want to advertise

14:21

that, that's your ass. Like, I don't, I don't

14:23

know what you're talking about. Sometimes they do know

14:25

they're lying and they just don't care. Because I've

14:27

been like, I'm not on. And they're like, I

14:30

don't. I don't give a shit. like,

14:32

oh, okay. They're like, they're doing

14:34

you a favor? Yes, absolutely. This

14:36

guy was at the White House Correspondents Dinner,

14:38

and you're like, bro, from

14:40

Keenan and Kel, Adam Keaton

14:42

calling. Like, what?

14:45

I had a guy. say the wrong name

14:47

after my set the other night, but

14:49

I know which Black woman he thought I

14:51

was. Oh, no. So, like, he said

14:54

the right name going up, but then afterwards,

14:56

he was like, give it up for

14:58

not me, everybody. And so I told that

15:00

girl, I messaged her, was like, yo,

15:02

you had a good set last night, just

15:04

so you know. And she went, oh,

15:06

my gosh, I've gotten drinks because they think

15:08

that I'm another Black female comic in

15:10

New York, and so now I just want

15:12

one of them to be called Katrina.

15:15

That's my goal now. Shout out to your

15:17

black alt comedy doppelganger. Yes. We

15:19

all got them. Yup. Yeah.

15:23

I don't have that problem. There's

15:26

only one of me. When

15:28

Sean does black rooms, they think he's Gary Owens. So

15:30

that happens too. Yeah. Just the other day, they were

15:32

like, give it up for Janelle Monae. And I was

15:34

like, I don't even need to do the standup. Not

15:37

again. So like someone

15:39

asked for credit and then you'll give them one and then they'll

15:41

forget it. And then they'll kind of get mad at you. because

15:43

they forgot I'll be like I don't know

15:46

you've seen him I don't know who gives

15:48

a shit you'd like one of those and

15:50

you're like yeah yeah and it's like this

15:52

is you I would say whatever you want

15:54

man what do you want for an intro

15:56

whatever you want whatever just say he's a

15:58

funny guy man yeah exactly the guy the

16:00

people because now it's like the people who

16:02

came for me know who it is and

16:04

the people who don't are going to figure

16:06

it out I don't That

16:08

credit thing. I don't think I've

16:10

never seen audience be like,

16:12

I've never seen two girls both

16:14

on their phones in the

16:16

front row be like, oh, wait,

16:18

Comedy Central. Shut up. Yeah. Yeah.

16:22

I'm going to talk through the first

16:24

five minutes of myself. need to leave him

16:26

anymore or whatever they're talking about. I

16:28

don't know. Now, that man that wants to

16:30

be called a funny guy, David Borey,

16:32

cool guy jokes, 87 on Instagram. What's

16:35

what's happening? Playboy? You were just

16:37

in LA. How'd it go? It was

16:39

fun. I saw some friends. Got

16:41

up at the store I saw. Got

16:43

up at the store. In tribute

16:45

to Dark Sean, I went. I

16:48

saw Alec Flynn, saw some people, had

16:50

a good time. Oh, Alec, huh? Aggressive

16:52

little dickhead. Isaac, cut this out. You

16:58

can find me at patreon.com

17:00

backslash David Bore. Purchase my

17:02

special April 25th and 26th.

17:04

I am going to be

17:06

in Dallas at the Dallas

17:09

Comedy Club. Come to that

17:11

June 15th. I'm going to

17:13

be at Littlefield in Brooklyn,

17:15

New York. It would be

17:17

fun if you came to

17:19

that. And then, you know,

17:21

just. Yeah,

17:27

yeah. Exactly. Yay,

17:29

Littlefield. going to come see you.

17:31

It's going to be fun. Yeah, dude. How long are you going

17:33

to be in New York? Just

17:35

like a day or two, I think. I

17:37

don't know. More than two, three days.

17:39

Really, that place stresses me out. Me and

17:41

you last time were there, brother. The

17:44

rhythm of the city. I

17:46

need you to move through

17:49

with me. It's too much

17:51

for me just to have any time

17:53

in that city. I just want

17:55

to do it all. So it's like

17:57

you're there for like two, three

17:59

days and you don't think about distances

18:01

because you live in Colorado. So

18:03

you're like, yeah, I can go to

18:05

Brooklyn at two, Manhattan at three

18:07

and be back in Brooklyn at five.

18:09

Take a little nap real quick.

18:12

I can see everyone that I love

18:14

in this giant city. Then you

18:16

try to like make it work with

18:18

a lift and you're like $400

18:20

to cross a bridge. Dog. So

18:23

I guess I just didn't make any money this trip.

18:25

Okay. That's cool. That's cool. That's cool. No, no, no. Let's

18:27

go to a diner. Going across

18:29

Manhattan. I would see people every light, every

18:31

single light. I'd see the same people walking that

18:33

we just went past and I'm sitting in

18:35

it just watching it tick up. And you're like,

18:37

I could just get out and walk fast.

18:39

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dope,

18:42

man. Also, I'm Sean Jordan. Sean

18:45

Krugmel and Jordan on Instagram. And

18:47

come see us in New Orleans. So

18:49

an announcement. The New Orleans. You

18:51

have to get a full weekend pass to get

18:54

into the AFEs in New Orleans. The day passes

18:56

don't get you in to the AFEs. And

18:58

I think they fixed the verbiage on the

19:00

website, which I assume anyone who's coming in

19:02

from out of town is buying a weekend

19:04

pass anyways. So just be clear on what

19:06

you're buying. If you have any questions, absolutely

19:08

feel free to DM me. I'll answer every

19:10

single one of them, I promise. But

19:12

yeah, come see us in New Orleans. We

19:15

got the merch kicking. It's going to be dope.

19:17

there's talks of like a band. I mean, come on.

19:19

I don't, I don't even, I don't even want

19:21

to get bucket hats. We do got bucket hats. Spoon

19:25

Davis is dropping in. Spoon's

19:28

driving up from Jacksonville. Spoon will

19:30

be skimming off the top of

19:32

those bucket hats. Please be sure.

19:34

If he tells you 25 they

19:36

are 20, do not listen to

19:38

him. Do not buy merch directly

19:40

from Spoon. Just like every other

19:42

live show. He rolls up in

19:45

one of our bucket hats. Hey, Sean, here's that

19:47

blunt you wanted. Just

19:49

winks. I

19:51

heard you got a plan. -shirts say AFD.

19:55

Spoon, this has

19:57

got one sleeve, motherfucker. One sleeve. Spoon,

20:00

when you get hot. Yeah,

20:04

I think I started doing this show called

20:06

It's Nice to Be Nice. If you want to

20:08

listen to more stuff from me, it's on

20:10

Patreon. It's free. It's just a podcast I've been

20:13

doing with my buds about nice things that

20:15

have happened to them. There's a lot of negative

20:17

stuff. And this is just a nice one.

20:19

Dave was on it with our friend Helen. That'll

20:21

be coming out a couple of weeks. So

20:23

if you want to go on Patreon, it's free

20:25

to subscribe to. Otherwise, you

20:27

can get them on wherever, anywhere the podcasts

20:29

are. But, you know, keep listening to

20:31

this. I'm just saying if you want some

20:33

positivity, that's what I've figured out that

20:35

I'm good at. So I started talking to

20:37

people about it. And other than that,

20:39

I think buy Ian's book. Watch his special

20:41

Comfort Beyond God's Foresight. Get it up

20:44

to 100 ,000 views. If it's not yet,

20:46

get it up there. Yeah,

20:48

that's the shit. You guys ready to

20:50

get into it? You ready to draft magazines?

20:53

Let's play the game. This is why

20:55

I woke up today. That

20:58

in your family, right? You just say that

21:00

to your kids? They know. They know. I got

21:02

them out the door. I got them to

21:04

school. There was love, but that was not the

21:06

focus of today. Oh, that's right.

21:08

Kids are in school. That feeling of getting...

21:10

Max ain't in school yet, but she's in

21:12

preschool and daycare, but that feeling of getting

21:14

her secure in the area. You're like, all

21:16

right, the gate's locked. She's in there. I'm

21:18

out for a few hours. It's a freedom

21:20

that I never knew existed before kids. I

21:22

never because you just kind of have it.

21:24

You know, most of the time you just

21:26

have that loose adult freedom unless you're at

21:28

work or something. And when you get that

21:30

kid, well, you get them locked away. I

21:32

got to tell you one quick thing because

21:34

it's insane. My youngest and the oldest, they

21:36

go to the same school. Oldest is in

21:38

kindergarten. He's the top of the school. That's

21:40

as far as it goes. No problem. Off

21:42

to class. Youngest still has some trepidation at

21:44

the gate. A lot of kids do whatever.

21:47

It's hard to get them there. It's never

21:49

a guarantee. So all the kids get dropped

21:51

off at the gate. He has imposed his

21:53

will to the point that I now have

21:55

to take him into the playground to the

21:57

top of a little hill that they play

21:59

on and walk him to the top of

22:01

the hill where he gives me a hug

22:03

goodbye. And then he will say

22:05

farewell without any fight. All the other kids

22:07

wait at the gate and he's like, go

22:09

to the fucking top of the hill where

22:11

everyone can see me. We hug it out.

22:13

And then I'll say goodbye to you. Yeah,

22:15

but then you walk away and he turns

22:17

around and he goes, can you dig it?

22:19

He's just talking to the whole playground. He's

22:22

flexing hard on dad and the school.

22:24

That's what I was going to say. He

22:26

makes you pride rock every day. Yeah,

22:28

that's what I was thinking. And

22:31

I just shrug at the principal and she's like,

22:33

do your fucking thing. Everybody else is at the

22:35

gate. Behold

22:44

the love of my father.

22:46

He's just like bragging. That's

22:48

a good way to start your day though. Yeah.

22:51

Yeah. Pretty good idea. not

22:54

what I do to Maxine. I push

22:56

her out. The swisher's in my hand almost

22:58

lit. I'm just fucking... Behold my seed.

23:00

There's probably a little piss in his undies

23:02

right now. It's all good. It'll

23:04

dry by the time he gets in there. All

23:09

right, magazines. What do I do now? I forget. Do

23:11

we take a break or do we do rock, paper, scissors?

23:14

Rock, paper, scissors. All right, so determine the order

23:16

of the draft. The order of

23:18

the draft, rather, will be determined by a

23:20

rollicking game of rock, paper, scissors played

23:22

between the three of you. Now, ready? Yes.

23:25

We're going to go on shoot. Ready? Rock,

23:27

paper, scissors, shoot. Oh,

23:30

no way. Three. Wow, cool.

23:33

Let's go again. Rock, paper,

23:35

scissors, shoot. Oh,

23:37

no way. This is what happened on

23:39

tour. This happened on tour every week. Rock,

23:41

paper, scissors, shoot. Katrina

23:44

got it. Katrina wins a natural victory.

23:46

The paper slicing or the scissors slicing

23:48

both pieces of paper. Now,

23:50

Katrina, it is incumbent upon you to

23:53

determine the order of the draft. Before you

23:55

do that, I will remind you. I'm

23:57

doing all right. It is a serpentine draft.

23:59

And what is that? It is like

24:01

the motion of the tide day in and

24:03

day out on this lovely planet of

24:05

ours. Oh, that's beautiful. Hey, I thought when

24:08

I was like, man, it took me

24:10

a while to think of this one. But

24:12

thank you. Now, with that being said,

24:14

we arrive on this planet. Have you seen

24:16

Mufasa? They try to do it again.

24:18

They try to do... I saw Mufasa. I

24:20

thought it was a Moo Mesa. Meow.

24:26

Yeah. I've only

24:28

seen the most ridiculous part over

24:30

and over again. And I don't

24:32

know if I could take it

24:34

seriously because of that. It's tough.

24:37

The like brother part when he's like, don't

24:39

talk about my brother. Like that's all

24:41

that plays in my head. And I'm like,

24:43

I don't think I could take this version

24:45

seriously. I try not to

24:47

be a Disney childhood snob, but

24:49

I do feel like the songs

24:51

were better in ours. They were.

24:53

They were. They're classics in ours.

24:55

The only recent one that has

24:57

classics, correct me if I'm out

24:59

of line here, is Moana. Yeah,

25:02

and then they dropped the ball

25:04

with Moana, too. They said, we

25:06

don't need Lin -Manuel. And he's

25:08

like, you don't fucking need me?

25:10

And everyone hates Moana. That's all

25:12

they needed. That shit was a

25:14

bummer. The second one? Yeah, it's

25:16

tough. It's tough. Because the first

25:19

one was crazy. The music is...

25:21

Best song since The Lion King,

25:23

right? They made The Rock good

25:25

on the one. It rivals the

25:27

Bodyguard soundtrack for what it does

25:29

to me. a crazy two movies

25:31

to compare. I'm

25:33

talking the soundtracks. For

25:35

any reason. Walk

25:37

up to a stranger like, tell... do you think?

25:40

I think the bodyguard Moana have in common. Be

25:43

honest. Better soundtrack. Moana or the bodyguard.

25:45

They're like eyes go crossed. They can't even.

25:47

Why would you do this to me? I mean,

25:50

the bodyguard is the best soundtrack ever, but

25:52

Moana is real close. Anyway, basically what

25:54

it means if you pick fourth in the first

25:56

round, you pick first in the second round. Now,

25:58

with that in mind, Katrina, what will the order?

26:00

Oh, I'm going to take notes. What will the

26:02

order of today's draft be? I

26:05

think I can I go first?

26:07

I think I'm going to go first.

26:09

Go first. And then David and

26:11

then Adam. Okay. And then Sean,

26:13

hot corner. Before we

26:15

do get into it, Katrina, are

26:17

you wearing that Seinfeld anime shirt?

26:19

I am. It was marketed to

26:21

me on Instagram as well. Okay. Nice

26:24

to see you in a

26:26

while. I say no to 99

26:29

% of what they shoved down

26:31

my throat on that website. This

26:34

shirt got me. And it's a pretty solid

26:36

print. So I regret nothing. They get me

26:38

every now and again. Probably like once a

26:40

month they get me. I got a Doc

26:43

Holliday shirt. Doc Holliday shirt the other day.

26:45

I was like, yep. It's, you

26:47

know, there's a reason they're targeted. I don't care

26:49

if I don't like them. I skip through them.

26:51

I really don't care. Shop now. Don't mind if

26:53

I do. Don't mind if I do. There's one

26:55

right now that keeps coming at me. It's Milhouse,

26:57

but it's like. Bauhaus, like Millhouse. And I'm like,

26:59

I really, I almost want to click on it

27:01

every time. But that's like, I know every dude

27:04

that looks like me is going to have it

27:06

and I can't do it. But Millhouse doesn't get

27:08

a lot of play. Graphic T wise. Or

27:11

just physically. Yeah,

27:13

true. Yeah, I don't think he was lighting

27:15

any blunts, if you know what I mean. He

27:19

was holding Bart's blunt outside the

27:21

tent waiting for the right moment. Definitely.

27:24

Melhouse meets a girl at the library,

27:26

comes home, and Bart's like, well, Melhouse,

27:28

why don't you wait outside? I'm going

27:30

to handle it. Help me achieve this

27:32

sexual dream I've always had. Sean watched

27:35

that happen. Yeah, that was so specific.

27:37

It happened to me a couple times.

27:39

Yeah. Yo,

27:42

okay, I'm sorry, buddy. I was that kid

27:44

when I was younger. I was the one that,

27:46

like, didn't, yeah. I love this insane frame

27:48

of reference we've gotten to. Hey, dog, you don't

27:50

want to be the millhouse holding Bart's blunt

27:52

while he's fucking in the tent. Don't be that

27:54

millhouse. What the

27:56

fuck are you talking about? kind

28:00

of dorky Joe Rogan podcast is

28:02

this? Don't be so be in the

28:04

millhouse, dude. Wait, what? I don't

28:06

know what this means. Bart's an alpha.

28:11

Glasses lower your testosterone, dude. Everybody knows that.

28:13

I've heard that. I've heard that. All

28:16

right. With that being said, the order settled.

28:18

Katrina, you'll be going first in the

28:20

magazine's draft before we get to that first

28:22

pick. A short break. This

28:25

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32:24

Everything already in progress. uh

32:27

spark that blunt Katrina what do you

32:29

got what's that what's that first magazine you

32:31

gotta figure out what that means to

32:33

you I don't know every time we do

32:35

one every time we record an episode

32:37

I'm like what a therapy therapy or you

32:39

like you'll give me a look every

32:41

time we record an episode you feel that

32:43

way sometimes I mean there's just you

32:45

should listen to that voice Sean yeah a

32:47

of stuff knocking around in there it's

32:49

worth it I don't got time um I'm

32:51

trying to pick. I have been

32:54

very strategic about this list. I'll explain

32:56

myself more later. Okay.

32:58

For number one, I'm going to

33:00

go with zoo books. Because

33:04

I loved zoo books when I

33:06

was little. I loved anything to

33:08

do with animals and facts. And

33:10

one time I was at the

33:12

beach with this lady that used

33:14

to watch me. Shout out. Miss

33:17

Debra, I love her so much.

33:19

And her daughter was like messing

33:21

with this thing on the beach

33:23

and she thought it was a

33:25

balloon. And I was like, don't

33:27

touch it. It's a man of

33:29

war. And no one knew

33:31

what I was talking about because I was

33:33

like nine. Like I shouldn't have known. And

33:35

she did it. You know, an adult like

33:38

doesn't fully believe you, but is like does

33:40

what you say just in case. Like I

33:42

could tell that she was like, you're talking

33:44

nonsense. But she also told her to stop

33:46

playing with it. And then the next day

33:48

I brought in my zoo book and it

33:50

was like Portuguese man of war. And it's

33:52

this like giant like. jellyfish

33:54

basically, but the balloon on the top looks

33:57

like the sail that they used to

33:59

use on like Portuguese warships. And

34:01

I was, I've always been very

34:03

proud of my animal knowledge, saving

34:05

that little girl, at least some

34:07

kind of gnarly sting. But yeah,

34:09

I freaking loved Zoo Books, man.

34:12

The commercial was sick. I think

34:14

that I thought Manowar was a

34:16

band until just now. I

34:19

don't know what, I don't know what Manowar is.

34:21

It probably is a band too, I bet. It is,

34:23

it is. They're in an old skate video, but

34:25

is it man, is it one word? Portugal

34:28

the man? A war. I'm

34:30

talking about a band called, there's a band

34:32

called Man of War, I'm pretty sure. Oh,

34:34

okay, okay, that I did not know. I

34:37

don't know what a man of war. I

34:39

know what it is. What is it? It's

34:41

just a it's a type of jellyfish, but

34:43

their venom is like way more intense. And

34:45

they have the they like float through the

34:47

current with the balloon on top and their

34:49

tentacles are extra long. So they just catch

34:51

stuff and then like bring it back up

34:53

to the balloon and eat it. I'm glad

34:55

I don't know what that is. It is

34:57

a band. Holy cow. It's a band for

34:59

sure. But those things are gnarly. Are they

35:01

around? She found

35:03

one. That's the only one I ever saw

35:06

in Florida, and I have no idea how

35:08

far that thing must have floated. But

35:10

I don't know where

35:12

their natural habitat is. That's

35:15

a real zoo books win for

35:17

you. That's like an ad for

35:19

zoo books. You saved the girl's

35:21

life. I had zoo books. I

35:23

had straight -up index cards. I

35:25

had multiple. Different things

35:27

that just like had just animals and

35:29

facts. And I would just like fan

35:32

through everything. That's what was that.

35:34

That was like currency when you were a kid, though.

35:36

I love that shit. Just like that. And then

35:38

they have like the rainbow title on Zoo Books, too.

35:40

I was going to say it was so vibrant.

35:42

Like they were all like different rainbow colors. And I

35:44

think they all focused on one specific animal. And

35:46

there was like 12 of them or something. They were

35:48

sick, though. Yeah. They're still around.

35:50

My kids got them. Yeah. Really? There's

35:52

tons of them. Yeah, every animal's got

35:54

a zoo book. Oh, my gosh. That

35:56

makes me so happy. Here's the thing.

35:58

I listen to podcasts about animals that

36:00

are technically made for children. I might

36:02

re -up on zoo books. Oh,

36:06

man. I just Googled it. That

36:08

orangutans app was a classic. Yeah,

36:10

dude. Zoo book orangutans. That brought

36:12

back a lot of memories. I

36:15

was getting a little upset the

36:17

other day that it's not orangutan.

36:19

You're right. That is a very

36:21

memorable photo. Yeah. Heck

36:23

yeah. So yeah, that's my first pick.

36:25

Love it. Hell yeah. Zoo books off the

36:27

board and I have the notes. Trust

36:29

me, I know who's next, but I don't

36:31

need to look at them. I'm going

36:34

to David. David, what's your

36:36

first pick for the magazine draft?

36:38

I got to take a magazine

36:40

that's been through with me throughout

36:42

my life. Only magazine I actually

36:44

have right now in print. I

36:46

still order it to my house. directly.

36:49

I read facts from it at night

36:51

while my girlfriend is falling asleep. I

36:54

can't show its work. I'm taking

36:56

National Geographic, man. I knew that

36:58

was going to go. I wrote

37:00

it down before you said it.

37:02

It's like, you know what?

37:04

I feel like it's one of

37:06

those ones that you don't have to

37:09

read. Like the reading only enhances

37:11

it. Right. So as a kid, I

37:13

would really just look at all

37:15

the pictures. Yeah, I was a man.

37:17

I look at all the pictures

37:19

and read some of the articles and

37:21

it's just as entertaining. It's always

37:23

great. It's it's just it's it's so

37:26

good. The pictures are beautiful. Yeah,

37:28

they have interesting. It's just it's an

37:30

awesome fucking. There's no beat

37:32

in the pictures. I am genuinely curious, boy,

37:34

because I haven't read one ever. Probably is

37:36

the writing good. Like the writing is as

37:38

good as photography. Yeah, because I

37:40

mean, they have the National Geographic

37:42

Society. It's like. It's very in depth.

37:45

And then, you know, every episode

37:47

like this one, I wrote a joke

37:49

about AI because of this. Yeah. You

37:52

know what I mean? It's it's yeah, it's

37:54

real. It's like the writing's better, I think,

37:56

than you ever thought because the pictures are

37:58

so good. But I mean, come on. Yeah,

38:00

it's unreal. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's

38:03

awesome. It is. And you don't

38:05

feel like a like a loser if

38:07

you crack that somewhere. And it's

38:09

like, it's iconic, that yellow cover. You

38:12

know it from across the room. It's

38:14

a more, well, I know it's more than

38:17

just animals, but it's like adult zoo books. Like

38:19

I was thinking of zoo books, but I

38:21

should probably just get on National Geographic. You

38:23

could have two magazines. You

38:25

know what I love about it?

38:27

There's no through line. Everybody's

38:30

cracked and not geo. You

38:33

know what I'm saying? Everybody can

38:35

get these hands in that

38:37

Gio. Every single person. Everybody's

38:39

gotten into one. And I love that. Like,

38:41

magazines so often are, like, selling, like, a

38:43

culture or something. Yeah, yeah. And that Gio's

38:45

like, you just want to see some mountains

38:47

and then a weird pig? Yeah,

38:50

we got you. I love it. I

38:52

love it so much. And then, like,

38:54

a woman on an island living a

38:56

life you could only dream of. Yeah,

38:59

that was for the tweens. Here, Peruvian

39:01

people painted blue. They've never seen a

39:03

fucking cell phone. Exactly. They thought my

39:05

camera flash was the devil for weeks.

39:07

Right, right. Two guys died.

39:09

Two guys died for this photo. Some

39:11

kind of ancient Oaxacan street festival. We

39:13

got it all. Yeah, man. We got

39:15

it. It's so fun. We had those

39:17

in our, like. extended studies class where

39:20

they let the smart kids go to

39:22

a different science and it felt very

39:24

mature because they let us see titties.

39:26

It was like, you're allowed to look

39:28

at the National Geographic. Don't get weird.

39:30

You guys can handle this. You

39:33

had to prove that you were mature enough

39:35

to handle the reading corner with the National

39:37

Geographic in there. When

39:40

do you think

39:42

the first issue?

39:46

That was my good kid, Mad City. What? When do you

39:48

think the first issue was released? Let's do a little

39:50

Wits and Wages. 1895.

39:53

I mean, I'm going to trust Bory on that

39:55

one. I was going to say, you said

39:57

that so definitively. I was going to say like

39:59

1902 or something. I'll go $1. I'll go

40:01

$1. Bro,

40:04

I would have said

40:06

deep in the 1900s. It

40:08

was September 22nd, 1888.

40:10

Whoa! I didn't know we

40:12

even had... don't know, people could read in 1888.

40:14

Lewis and Clark are on the cover of the

40:16

first one. That's so

40:19

old. A lot couldn't. A lot

40:21

of people couldn't read. That's crazy.

40:23

Yeah, it's a society. I just

40:25

started to preserve, I don't know,

40:27

nature. just had no frame of

40:29

what's going on. I had no

40:31

frame of time, I guess. But

40:33

yeah, anyway. Also, fun fact

40:35

that doesn't have anything to do with

40:37

anything. The current editor, his name is Nathan

40:39

Lump. Oh. What

40:42

if they just let Nathan Lund

40:44

have a year at the helm of

40:46

Nat Geo? Brother, I would be

40:48

all in. A

40:50

lot of features on wrestling. A lot of features

40:52

on wrestling. Yeah,

40:55

people don't know they need that, but they

40:57

do. Chevelle on the cover, that'd be great. Just

40:59

a double spread on luchadores. Like, okay, I

41:01

guess. January's

41:04

wrestlers again. They're going back.

41:06

They're going back. Okay. All right.

41:09

Yeah, Nat Geo, fantastic. ACH, what do you

41:12

got? First pick. Look, I get everybody's

41:14

going to say I'm pretentious. People are going

41:16

to say, duh, this is the cliche

41:18

pick. But I got to go with the

41:20

magazine. I still get The New Yorker.

41:22

I have The Physical New Yorker in my

41:24

house. And it's also been with me

41:27

my whole life. I remember my parents getting

41:29

it. I remember opening it up, reading

41:31

the cartoons, going through and reading the

41:33

cartoons and being like, these are funny. That's

41:35

too sophisticated. I don't understand. But

41:37

like now I fucking I devour that

41:40

magazine every week. I rip from

41:42

start to finish. I've been I've

41:44

been rejected by that magazine a baker's

41:46

dozen times and I'm still going

41:48

for it. I'm a crack it someday.

41:50

Yeah. But I got to. Yeah,

41:52

man. I am religious with that magazine.

41:55

No, it's a classy man. I

41:57

like. Do people not like

41:59

the union? You'd have to be, you'd have

42:01

to be wild to be like, nah,

42:03

I'm not a New Yorker guy. I remember

42:05

a Simpsons gag. So it's just perfect

42:07

though. It's like Homer opening up the mail

42:09

and he's like, Oh, another rejection letter

42:12

from the New Yorker subscription department. Like they're

42:14

not good enough to get it. That's

42:16

pretty funny, man. It is a sophisticated. That's

42:19

what I was going to say. I feel

42:21

like people only try to talk shit about the

42:23

New Yorker in a way that they're trying

42:25

to show that they're elevated, that they're like, they're

42:27

so good that I can tell the nuance

42:29

that the New Yorker is not that cool. Right,

42:31

right, right, right. I also like I think

42:33

every kid who doesn't live in New York, I'm

42:35

watching it with my boys. They're like New

42:38

York, New York City. That's just like a place

42:40

that you it looms large in your imagination.

42:42

And so this magazine for me has always been

42:44

like, well, what's going on in New York?

42:46

Even now. When I go to New York a

42:48

fair amount, I like to read like what's

42:50

going on in town. I like to see events

42:52

and shit going on around New York. It's

42:54

just it's a real window into that as well.

42:56

So I dig it. No, that's an awesome

42:59

pick. That's a great pick. I don't even think

43:01

we had a copy of that in South

43:03

Dakota when I was a kid. Oh, it's banned.

43:05

I mean, yeah, I don't. They

43:08

cut that out real quick. Maybe if they accidentally

43:10

put a gun on the cover, one would have

43:12

snuck into a Barnes and Noble or something. But

43:15

I don't ever remember seeing it

43:17

when I was a kid. It's so

43:19

interesting to think about. Like, never,

43:21

ever, ever did I see that. Can

43:23

I be a snob? There's a

43:25

section called Shouts and Murmurs. That's their

43:27

humor section. And I've been rejected

43:29

from it many, many times. I heard

43:31

a Baker's dozen. It is dog

43:33

shit. They're Shouts and Murmurs. They're one

43:35

humor page. is so not fucking

43:37

funny. It's maybe every once in a

43:39

while, every 10th one will be

43:41

funny. But every week they put one

43:43

out and it's like awful. McSweeney's

43:45

is funnier. size and Snickers. Yeah,

43:47

it's bad. Shouts and murmurs

43:50

sucks. Everything else is fucking great.

43:53

We gotta get you in there. We

43:55

gotta get you in there. It's just

43:57

like dumbass humor writing. It's like, okay, it's

43:59

like whatever's going on that week. you

44:01

know, like here are the stocks that

44:04

I sold before Trump tank stock market.

44:06

And it'll just be like funny, fake

44:08

stocks. It just sucks. It's, it's not,

44:10

it's bad. It's always bad. They're all

44:12

fake stocks to me. I don't know.

44:14

Well, if anybody's listening, we got a

44:16

guy who can overhaul it. Yeah. I

44:19

think you could do it. He can,

44:21

he could over Holland it. I'm public.

44:23

I'm publishing McSweeney's. That's a funnier humor

44:25

outlet. Let me at that. Let me

44:27

have shouts and murmurs. I got a

44:30

book. Yeah, you can't be the only

44:32

New Yorker reader that wants more from

44:34

shouts and murmurs. And I'm telling you,

44:36

every 10th one, you're like, there you

44:38

go. Simon Rich or fucking Megan and

44:40

Ram or something like that. Yeah, these

44:42

are funny. But you should start a

44:45

grassroots campaign. Sam T would agree

44:47

with me. We've talked about this. Shouts and

44:49

murmurs fucking sucks. Hey, Sam wants to light

44:51

the world on fire. You should start a

44:53

grassroots campaign. This is your Donald

44:55

for Spider -Man. Yes.

44:59

All right. Yeah. Any New Yorker

45:01

listeners out there, hit them up. Get me on. Get

45:03

me in that shit. All right. Did I

45:06

write that down? I sure did. All right. So

45:08

here I am at the hot corner. My first

45:10

pick, I'm going to take it back to when

45:12

I was a child as well. This

45:14

was first magazine I remember ever

45:16

getting. I'm going to go with

45:18

Highlights Magazine. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

45:20

Big Highlights. That's up there with

45:22

Zoo Books, I feel like. For

45:24

iconic covers. And they

45:26

still, I should have looked it up,

45:28

but I'm pretty sure they're still around. They

45:31

are. I just remember, yeah, I

45:33

just, I want to get them for our

45:35

daughter. I should look into that. But

45:37

they were just so fun. Like, just the

45:39

first thing, I would just go to

45:41

the, like, find the hidden whatever page. Yeah,

45:43

that's what I was thinking, too. Got

45:45

me through all the early dentist office visits.

45:47

Bro, I've been rejected from highlights of

45:49

Baker's Dungeon Times. Don't get

45:51

me started on their shit. Don't get me started

45:53

on their dumb shit. Speaking

45:56

of highlights and their humor,

45:58

I love highlights as an adult

46:01

because if you ever go

46:03

to the doctor's office with my

46:05

mom and read those jokes

46:07

out loud, she will still ball

46:09

laughing. Like highlights crushes with

46:12

her for some reason. And she

46:14

also doesn't know why. Like

46:16

she. Like, you'll be like, oh,

46:18

what's a balloon's least favorite

46:20

kind of music? Pop. And she

46:23

has to leave the, like,

46:25

she will, like, be so

46:27

overwhelmed she can barely catch her breath. And I'm

46:29

like, why do you think this is so

46:31

funny? She's like, I don't know. Like, I know

46:33

it's stupid. But, like, Highlights

46:35

fucks my mom up. I love that. If

46:37

you go to the doctors with my

46:40

mom, she'll take that magazine home. Do

46:43

you remember taking pages out of phone books? Did you ever do that

46:45

at a phone booth? Where you're like, I'm just going to take this

46:47

page. You never did that. That's a total movie

46:50

move. They're like, all right, grab this out of the

46:52

phone book and tuck it in your back. Were you a

46:54

hitman? You

46:56

never were a hitman. You are

46:58

until you're not. There you go.

47:00

Okay. But then when you're

47:02

not, you were. That's fine. They hit at

47:04

the doctor's office because the older I get, the

47:06

more tension I have when I go there. Like

47:08

if they're going to give me a prostate

47:10

exam. You got to get

47:12

some Boofus and Gallon and you

47:14

take the edge off. goddamn funny when

47:17

you're all nervous. It's the funniest

47:19

thing I've ever heard. Yeah, Highlights,

47:21

man. Just because I

47:23

looked it up. First

47:25

issue printed June 1946.

47:28

So right after WWT, the big one,

47:30

we decided to get into Highlights magazine.

47:32

Highlights and Zoo Books are both great

47:34

because they capture that school book sale

47:36

energy, which is kind of like classes

47:38

out. You're the first time maybe you

47:40

got a little bit of money your

47:42

parents gave you and they're like, it's

47:44

all educational. Go buy shit, young man.

47:46

Here's your first opportunity. And there's like

47:48

a freedom to that. That's very exciting.

47:50

Man, I wasted on a bunch of

47:52

erasers. Yeah, totally. Once

47:54

I get I'm going to get one

47:57

pen for my dad and a pad

47:59

for my mom. after that. I'm

48:01

ripping this shit up. Sideways

48:04

stories from Wayside School. Here I

48:06

come. There you go. Garfield,

48:09

those Garfield books. I remember the long lengthy

48:11

ones. Oh, those were good. You know what

48:13

I liked when I was a kid was

48:15

those Calvin and Hobbes books, which now you're

48:17

like, those are Calvin and Hobbes at the

48:20

book fair, though, was always too rich for

48:22

my blood because they had those big, thick,

48:24

sexy ones that were like $20. I was

48:26

like, OK, what are we doing here? It's

48:28

a proper tome. I'm going

48:30

to buy all those now. I'm

48:32

glad we did this. Yeah, you

48:34

can. They still do the book fair,

48:36

which, yeah. Good. All

48:40

right. For my second pick, I'm

48:42

going to go. Gosh,

48:45

I don't want to sound like a

48:47

loser here. I'll

48:50

go Rolling Stone. Oh,

48:52

that's a cool one. That's a good one. We

48:54

still got it. They still got it casual. It

48:57

always, I mean, the covers, I'm not splitting the

48:59

item, but like the covers jump out all the

49:01

time. I may or may not

49:03

be thinking of a very specific one. Jessica

49:05

Alba. Which one? Janet

49:07

Jackson. Oh, yeah. I

49:09

was going to say, there's a

49:11

lot of hot lady ones. Jessica Alba,

49:14

is that what she said, David?

49:16

Yeah. But the Janet Jackson one is

49:18

seminal. It was very influential. That

49:20

was huge. the Janet Jackson one with

49:22

everyone else's hands? 100%. No,

49:24

it's two hands. Oh, it's just

49:26

one. It's one man. It's one

49:28

man. It's the photographer. It was

49:30

crazy to be like, no, they

49:33

can't do that. They're showing it. It's happening.

49:35

Anyway, but yeah, just Saturday. It just like

49:37

it jumps out, you know, when like your

49:39

little like thumbing through magazines, it made me

49:41

feel cool for the first time. It was

49:43

just one of those. And people fairly candid

49:45

in the interviews because it's Rolling Stone. I

49:47

like that. You know what's funny about Rolling

49:49

Stone? One of the few magazines that I

49:51

will still buy for a plane trip. Like

49:53

if I'm in the airport and somebody's on

49:55

the cover. I'll be like, fuck it, I'll

49:58

buy a Rolling Stone because now it's like

50:00

on an airplane, it's like you're done by

50:02

the time you land. But I'm like, yeah,

50:04

I'll still I'll still buy it every now

50:06

and again. Mm hmm. OK. Come out knowing

50:08

everything about Billie Eilish. Boy just gets off

50:10

the plane. It's like, let's I want to

50:12

talk about Billie Eilish. Yeah. So

50:14

nobody. Nobody cares. Just

50:16

sitting at the bar. Are you guys talking about Billie Eilish? That's

50:21

cocaine, right, guys? When

50:23

I maybe 12, 13, 14 at

50:25

supermarket, my mom would be shopping and

50:27

I would just post up in

50:30

the magazines and rip through a Rolling

50:32

Stone. Just like all that shit.

50:34

And it felt like access to cool

50:36

culture. It was like ripping to

50:38

show you. Tell your friends later. Like

50:40

I knew about it. It's like

50:42

pre -internet, too. Like I'm downloading this

50:45

stuff. Yes, exactly. You

50:47

know, it's fun. It's like not the Jennifer

50:49

Aniston from Friends, you know? You're like, she says,

50:51

fuck in the interview. Holy cow. That

50:53

was a cover that I remember getting as

50:55

well, my man. Jennifer Aniston is like a very

50:57

much a butt shot. I remember going to

51:00

like a 7 -Eleven. It was like the height

51:02

of Friends. And I was like, I'm getting this

51:04

one. I'm purchasing

51:06

this day of. I

51:08

love that you all have a formative. boner

51:11

Rolling Stone cover. I don't have

51:13

one. You gotta get one, Katrina. Oh,

51:16

you mean Nirvana didn't do it for you?

51:18

That's only one magazine that there's a formative,

51:20

but there's tons of formative boners. list is

51:22

about to crack open here. Yeah, somebody's gonna

51:24

bust this thing wide open. That's a great

51:26

point though, Sean. A lot of the guys

51:28

that I did like during that age were

51:30

in fact dirty and sad. So it wouldn't

51:32

have been quite as hot. It was more

51:35

like, oh, the guy from Silver Chair is

51:37

sad. I can fix him. You're

51:41

going to wait till that boy. Wait

51:44

till tomorrow. I used

51:46

to listen to that song so heavy before middle

51:48

school. Yes. I love it. I still it's still

51:50

probably once a month creeps its way in silver

51:52

chair. If you guys haven't messed with silver chair

51:54

in a minute, listen to open fire and get

51:56

real sad after this. I can't wait. Oh, yeah.

51:59

Happy Monday. All

52:01

righty. Adam,

52:03

Kate and Holland, fresh off you. The New

52:05

Yorker pick you. Yeah. Well, I took

52:08

it. I took it academic and now I'm

52:10

ready to get. Down in the dirt. Not

52:13

that much the dirt. Sports Illustrated.

52:15

I'm surprised it's still out there. Oh,

52:17

yeah. Sports Illustrated is a real

52:19

winner. Required reading. Required

52:21

reading. And it's kind of a,

52:23

you know, it shoots on two

52:25

barrels. There's like the great sports

52:28

writing. There's everything you want about

52:30

sports. But then once a year,

52:32

there's the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition

52:34

to horny young bucks pre -internet. A

52:36

real moment. Every year, a real

52:38

moment that we all stopped and

52:40

took stock of what was going

52:43

on with our burgeoning manhood. You

52:45

know what was awesome about Sports

52:47

Illustrated besides the bikinis as well?

52:49

Wasn't it like weekly? It was

52:51

weekly. So it would be like

52:53

a magazine. I remember during

52:55

study hall in high school that you could

52:58

get what you could you could always read

53:00

a new Sports Illustrated if you went to

53:02

the library. never old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because

53:04

it was every week. They also

53:06

fucked around and had Sports Illustrated for kids, which

53:08

I think is kind of the gateway drug. You

53:10

know, not as great a swimsuit

53:13

issue, but, like, I appreciated it. I

53:15

don't like it. Listen,

53:20

I was their age as well.

53:22

It's not creepy. It's a lateral

53:24

move. All

53:27

right, Isaac, isolate this part so we

53:29

can frame Adam whenever we want to.

53:32

It's not fucking creepy, guys. It's a lateral

53:34

move. Just yelling lateral move over and

53:36

over again. I'm not. The pervert is

53:38

the one who was the old guy,

53:40

but I was the same age. It's just

53:42

some other 13 -year -old making it, too.

53:45

That's what I was going to that's the only

53:47

thing that a kind of makes it okay.

53:49

And I still feel like a creep even thinking

53:51

about that. It's all the whole project is

53:53

kids. Not, not,

53:55

not, not about the swimsuit issue, but

53:57

wasn't there. Didn't they have kids

53:59

report stuff in SI for kids? Am

54:01

I remembering that wrong? That

54:04

was so cool. You were like,

54:06

yeah. Oh, because there's that great

54:08

podcast about a guy whose dad

54:10

would pretend that he was an

54:12

SI for kids reporter. to get

54:14

him courtside in like if they're

54:16

from New York, like MSG and

54:19

stuff like that. Yeah, it's really.

54:21

And then he grows up to

54:23

find out his dad is a

54:25

con man. That is actually really

54:27

interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My

54:29

life is alive, but those games were

54:31

sick. Yeah. Yeah,

54:34

Sports Illustrated. Also, it's like if

54:36

your team won the championship, that

54:38

commemorative issue that they would put

54:40

out for every team, it's like

54:42

the one your dad's got on

54:44

his shelf somewhere. Yeah, the Broncos

54:46

one. Yeah, it's iconic magazine. mean,

54:48

football phones, that whole run where

54:50

my dad, I think he had

54:52

the football phone, right? Was it

54:54

the football phone? Yeah, it was

54:57

100%. I feel like that's where

54:59

everyone was ordering their fatheads originally.

55:01

Yeah. Oh, brother. My fucking

55:03

dad's, okay, my dad had a roommate

55:05

in Phoenix. I mean, way, way, way

55:07

beyond. That's always a tough, tough, tough

55:09

way to start a sentence. Yes, already

55:11

on board. But a great way to

55:13

start a book. Yeah. His

55:17

name was Spoon. His

55:20

roommate's name looked like it was Spoon

55:23

Sports Illustrated. Like he was Sports Illustrated's son

55:25

or something. I mean, you walked in,

55:27

there was a cutout of Kathy Ireland in

55:29

the living room. Like that, where you're

55:31

like. I didn't even know those made it

55:33

out of bars. And anyway, he had

55:35

all the sports at like the football phone,

55:37

the basketball, like all everything in his

55:39

house. It was like if you were 13

55:41

and you're like, what do I want

55:44

my apartment to look like when I'm 40?

55:46

What's what am I shooting for? Yeah,

55:48

that's that's what it was. I think a

55:50

lot of guys energy that now goes

55:52

exclusively into betting used to go into Sports

55:54

Illustrated. Yeah. So like that guy would

55:56

that guy's a DraftKings pro. Yeah. No, he's

55:58

a parlay man. He's a parlayer man. Absolutely.

56:01

It's got a room that's dedicated to the

56:03

beginnings where it's just Sports Illustrated. You walk

56:05

in and it's like just like somebody on

56:07

a loudspeaker giving you the history of Sports

56:10

Illustrated. It's a tour. They

56:12

also had those weird videotapes.

56:14

You could get Sports Illustrated. That wasn't

56:17

Sports Illustrated. No,

56:19

I know you mean. My dad would

56:21

make me watch this Larry Bird documentary. Every time

56:23

he got drunk, he'd make me watch it

56:25

like I'd never seen it before. And it was

56:27

a Sports Illustrated Larry Bird documentary. Yeah, sounds

56:30

right. Yeah. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah.

56:32

Yeah. I was just going to say those

56:34

are the formative sides of my coin. New Yorker

56:36

and Sports Illustrated. That's what I'm bringing to

56:38

the table, y 'all. Yeah,

56:40

dude. Well -rounded. David, round two. What are

56:42

we looking at? Okay.

56:44

This is a magazine

56:46

I probably got from

56:49

probably 11 to 19. And

56:51

it was a magazine I got because

56:54

my mom had no idea what it was.

56:57

I'm taking the Source magazine. I

57:01

used to and it like it really held

57:03

me down because like when I was younger

57:05

and I first got it, I would get

57:07

it to like show my friends and stuff

57:09

like that. But then when I got older,

57:11

like especially in high school. Not a lot

57:13

of my friends listen to the same kind

57:15

of more obscure music that I listen to.

57:17

So it was just like my lifeline to

57:19

hip hop because I was not on the

57:21

Internet for other reasons than, you know, the

57:24

same ones we all were in 03.

57:26

But a lot of a lot of

57:28

the source magazine, man. I

57:30

really, I really, really would

57:32

make it back. Was

57:35

your mom like just not going

57:37

to be down for you? putting

57:40

all of that hip -hop knowledge in your head

57:42

at that age no she just didn't i

57:44

don't think she even i was like that's his

57:46

magazine yeah she would just be like your

57:48

magazine came i don't think she even looked you

57:50

know what i mean my mom didn't even

57:52

know what she had no idea what it was

57:54

she i mean she saw that it wasn't

57:56

a you know like a dirty magazine so she

57:58

because i had subscription too and i'd always

58:00

read it in suspension like i was suspended and

58:02

i'd sit and read the source and i'd

58:04

like hold the cover at the teacher i mean

58:06

now you want people to see it I

58:09

found out about Carl. Can I like

58:11

that? That like everything I thought was

58:14

like dope. I found from the source

58:16

and old albums, I guess. But it

58:18

was. Oh, yeah. The ads were huge.

58:20

The ads were huge for what clothes

58:22

were cool. It was just really on

58:24

the pulse. Yep. I was

58:26

the only one that ever had it, too. And

58:28

I believe that in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Absolutely.

58:31

I was the only one who ever had it in Elizabeth,

58:33

Colorado. I'll tell you how much. It

58:35

was so it made that made me

58:37

feel awesome. having the source I really

58:39

felt like connected for real different than

58:41

something else like I really was like

58:43

I actually do know shit that people

58:45

don't know no it's weird that we

58:47

connect on the same reasons for the

58:49

source magazine yes it is it's not

58:51

what you think going into this conversation

58:53

no no no but I'm glad I'm

58:55

glad we I'm glad it was that

58:57

for both of us just a split

58:59

screen of Sean and David both reading

59:01

the source and simultaneous being like I

59:03

just wish someone around here understood me

59:05

yeah totally totally totally I just look

59:07

up, yeah, Chino XL, fuck you two.

59:09

I wonder if somebody is under the

59:11

same moon looking up as me at

59:13

the same time. Reading the

59:15

same source as me. Anyway,

59:17

I got to try this for

59:19

loco stuff. Yeah. I

59:22

mean, I was young. We're talking when I'm

59:24

in the source, it's like 94, 95, 96,

59:26

like 93, 94, 95, 96. Those are my

59:28

big source years. So that if you have

59:30

those, they would probably be worth some money

59:33

just based on who would be on the

59:35

covers. Oh, yeah. I mean, they

59:37

have the really famous one with Biggie

59:39

and the Twin Towers. Yeah.

59:42

Yeah, that was like a really famous cover. If I

59:44

would have had any sort of foresight, I was scribbling

59:46

on. I mean, because I was in like suspension. Yeah,

59:49

you were all in there. Just

59:51

like Eminem the bus. had the Biggie one,

59:53

but right next to the Twin Towers, it just

59:55

has Juggalo for life and bubble letters. Hey,

59:58

is this worth any money if I put an eye

1:00:00

patch on him? Or does that diminish? a problem? My

1:00:04

fun fact, my dad, John Holland,

1:00:06

was in the source. You got it.

1:00:08

What? What? Oh, yeah. Johnny Holland

1:00:11

was in the source, baby. He's a

1:00:13

civil rights attorney. And he had

1:00:15

like a case, really bad racial discrimination

1:00:17

case that made national headlines. And

1:00:19

they profiled in the source. And my

1:00:21

dad knew enough to know how

1:00:23

cool the fucking source was. So he

1:00:26

like dropped it on me. He's

1:00:28

like, beat this. He

1:00:30

tells you to beat it and you're still

1:00:32

chasing that dragon. still chasing. I'm getting rejected by

1:00:34

the New Yorker over here trying to chase

1:00:37

my dad in the source. What you did talk

1:00:39

about is how many times he got rejected

1:00:41

by the source. Oh, buddy. And those were just

1:00:43

mixtapes I sent in. Yeah, he was just

1:00:45

trying to get outside. Your

1:00:49

dad's in the column called One of

1:00:51

the Good Ones. Totally,

1:00:54

totally. This one's

1:00:56

all right. Fuck with this one. I

1:00:59

never would have thought, like, I

1:01:01

never would have thought you were, like,

1:01:04

two degrees separation from Benzino, but here we

1:01:06

are. Wild. Yeah. That is

1:01:08

really, you would not be the guy I picked,

1:01:10

but that's, you know, life is crazy. Yep.

1:01:12

He and my dad had lunch together on an

1:01:14

island. They

1:01:16

had to. It was Coney Island, but

1:01:19

it counts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's

1:01:21

a hot dog. They shared a hot dog.

1:01:24

Oh, dog. That's so sick. Oh,

1:01:26

man. The source. Excellent,

1:01:28

excellent pick. Katrina, second,

1:01:31

third picks back to back. Oh,

1:01:33

yay. Okay, cool. So for

1:01:35

number two, I'm going to

1:01:37

do another one from sitting

1:01:39

around waiting for your parents.

1:01:42

Jet Magazine. Ooh, come

1:01:44

on, let's go. My

1:01:46

favorite. Oh my gosh, it

1:01:48

was my favorite. Tiny Magazine. probably

1:01:50

the most bi thing about me was

1:01:52

me looking only at the beauties of

1:01:54

the week and just flanning, like going

1:01:57

through them specifically just to see beauties

1:01:59

of the week. But there's also other

1:02:01

cool stuff in there. But it also

1:02:03

was nice because it was the one

1:02:05

place where they would be like, look

1:02:07

at this hot black lady. And she

1:02:09

wasn't mixed. No offense. I love mixed

1:02:11

women. But like, when I was little,

1:02:13

anytime it was that representation, it was...

1:02:15

Always someone biracial. So that was, no

1:02:17

joke, one of the first times I

1:02:19

remember seeing, like, a woman as brown

1:02:21

as me in a bikini. And it

1:02:23

was just nice to be exploited on

1:02:25

the same level as other women. I

1:02:27

really appreciated that equality. But there's so

1:02:29

many fun little, like, because

1:02:31

it's weekly, like, I love the repetition of, like,

1:02:33

different articles in there. So you could just

1:02:35

find one thing and look at that, you know,

1:02:37

article or interview for every week. It was

1:02:39

great. You know what loved about? you know what

1:02:41

i loved about jet too was that it

1:02:43

felt local or it felt like a smaller community

1:02:45

in the way that like you remember they

1:02:47

had like wedding announcements yes like it felt very

1:02:49

like you're saying just the community of it

1:02:52

and it was i guess just because it was

1:02:54

small and weekly that you could be like

1:02:56

i'm in jet magazine but it was like everybody

1:02:58

yeah it would just be like it would

1:03:00

be like so and so and so and so

1:03:02

of baltimore got married and have a picture

1:03:04

of him, you know, and you'd be like, oh,

1:03:06

that's cool. Like it felt. Yeah. Jet magazine.

1:03:08

That's a good one. That's a good. It does

1:03:10

feel like it. You guys can speak this

1:03:12

more than I can. But like, you know, it

1:03:14

just feels like it was very much for

1:03:16

the black community. Like I didn't see magazines much

1:03:18

at all in my white travels. Like, I

1:03:20

don't even know where to encounter a jet magazine.

1:03:22

You go buy them. It was like East

1:03:24

Bay for black people. It just showed up at

1:03:26

your house. You had to. That's what I

1:03:28

thought you had to own a hair salon. And

1:03:30

then you got. That's the

1:03:32

only addresses they would send you. I've

1:03:35

never... I don't remember seeing the

1:03:37

Jet magazine on the rack at the

1:03:39

supermarket or anything like that. And

1:03:41

they're little. I loved how little they

1:03:43

were. They're like little babies. They

1:03:45

call it Digest. So it says Jet

1:03:48

was printed November 1st, 1951 in

1:03:50

Digest -sized format. I've never really heard

1:03:52

it called Digest -sized. Because it's Ebony's

1:03:54

baby. Yeah, Ebony had a

1:03:56

baby. It

1:04:00

is. Named it Jet. I'm going to name

1:04:02

it Jet. John

1:04:04

H. Johnson in November

1:04:06

1951 founded Jet in

1:04:08

Chicago. Yeah, and

1:04:11

they covered gnarly stuff too. Right

1:04:14

here, the Montgomery bus boycott.

1:04:17

MLK, Emmett Till, all that stuff. So that again

1:04:19

speaks to, like you're saying, the community, Adam,

1:04:21

of like, I'm sure real time they were like,

1:04:23

oh, you want to see the pictures? We're

1:04:25

going to print that shit. Like that kind of

1:04:27

thing. Yeah, yeah. That's

1:04:30

a good one. Okay, so that was my

1:04:32

one that I was honestly so afraid David was

1:04:34

going to steal from me. And

1:04:36

my second one... Wait, I got to

1:04:38

tell my dad he didn't make Jet. You

1:04:40

didn't make fucking Jet, Dad. Yeah, you blew

1:04:42

it. You might be down. He's sitting right

1:04:44

there. He

1:04:47

doesn't know that John Holland was also a beauty

1:04:49

of the week. It's just his dad. My

1:04:52

dad's 71s in Jet. been

1:04:54

wild. Just him looking nuts

1:04:56

in the 70s. And

1:04:59

then my next pick, to speak to

1:05:01

your East Bay, David, I don't know if

1:05:03

this will count, but I want to

1:05:05

pick Delia's. It's technically a

1:05:07

catalog. Okay. I love

1:05:09

Delia's. Like, it was so formative,

1:05:11

even though it's just closed. Like,

1:05:13

that to me was, I think,

1:05:15

a window for me, Adam, to

1:05:17

like, for me, it was girls

1:05:20

a little bit older than me,

1:05:22

but it was kind of like, Clothes

1:05:25

that you couldn't, I... necessarily get at

1:05:27

like JCPenney on clearance, but I could

1:05:29

get like one cool pair of pants

1:05:31

for my birthday. Like they just had

1:05:33

all of like, like I remember I

1:05:35

wanted a Strokes t -shirt so bad,

1:05:37

but I already got called white enough

1:05:39

that I was like, I don't need

1:05:41

that kind of heat. But like, I

1:05:44

think about that Strokes t -shirt all the

1:05:46

time. Like it was a place other

1:05:48

than Hot Topic because I wasn't allowed

1:05:50

to go in there because my parents

1:05:52

are Christian. Then I was just like,

1:05:54

this was like everything I want is

1:05:56

in this magazine. Like the girl. Girls

1:05:58

look like how I want to look.

1:06:00

They're like, it was, man, I freaking

1:06:02

love that. The Warped Tour came to

1:06:04

your mailbox. Here it is. Basically, it

1:06:07

was basically like a Lilith Fair wrapped

1:06:09

in Gwen Stefani showed up to my

1:06:11

house and I got to just dream

1:06:13

about all the outfits that I could

1:06:15

wear. You want an Ani DeFranco canvas

1:06:17

tote bag? We got you. my gosh,

1:06:19

yes. Was it like, because

1:06:21

this is how I remember East Bay for

1:06:23

me. It was like, even though those magazines

1:06:25

were just closed, you would look at it

1:06:27

over and over again like it was a

1:06:29

regular magazine. Oh, yes. Absolutely. Building

1:06:32

the look for myself. Every day was a

1:06:34

different look. I'm like, oh, the Bengals are

1:06:36

my favorite now because of this new jersey.

1:06:38

You're just sitting there dreaming of like the

1:06:41

like. teen you want to be like that's

1:06:43

what I want to be visually let's lock

1:06:45

that down one day well and there wasn't

1:06:47

like you can be any teen you want

1:06:49

to be with a click on the internet

1:06:51

like it was just like only only a

1:06:53

certain number of magazines are going to get

1:06:55

to you and you got to decide like

1:06:57

what it is out of this catalog you

1:06:59

want to be yeah call to I remember

1:07:01

my dad he'd sit every you know once

1:07:03

a year he'd buy me so he'd sit

1:07:05

and he'd get drunk and like call in

1:07:07

and I'd hear him do it I'm like

1:07:09

oh It's happening. The call. Yeah. He's ordering.

1:07:11

Call for the order. He's spending $300 right

1:07:13

now because he's hammered. Hell yeah. He's getting

1:07:15

a COD. That is.

1:07:17

I mean, you imagine how sketchy that would be

1:07:19

if you're the delivery driver? Like, are

1:07:21

they going to pay me for this? Yes. I

1:07:23

can't. Or am I going to get shot? Or

1:07:26

am I to get shot? They're just going to take it

1:07:28

or are they going to give me cash? I would just

1:07:30

take it. Yeah.

1:07:32

It's insane. Cash on delivery.

1:07:34

If you guys don't know anybody listening,

1:07:36

it's. A wild move that we made.

1:07:39

But yeah, Delia's. Hell yeah, Delia's.

1:07:42

And was that number three? Yeah, all

1:07:44

right. David, we got number three. This

1:07:47

is a weird pick. I thought Katrina was

1:07:49

going to get this one. This

1:07:51

was a magazine I thought that if I

1:07:53

could read, it was going to be like Rosetta

1:07:55

Stone. Like it was going

1:07:57

to crack the code for me. know

1:07:59

where you're going. 17 Magazine. Yeah, brother.

1:08:02

The Secrets. And then I remember you

1:08:04

would try to like. You would like

1:08:06

grab it from a girl and then

1:08:08

pretend like you were like, what is

1:08:10

this? This is so crazy. Yeah.

1:08:16

And meanwhile, you're pouring over every page,

1:08:18

trying to get some kind of

1:08:20

insight. Yes. Memorize every syllable

1:08:22

of what girls told other girls. Just

1:08:24

trying to figure out what the fuck

1:08:26

is going on on the other side

1:08:28

of the fence. Meanwhile, it's just like,

1:08:30

I hate myself in like four different

1:08:32

ways. No, it did not help. It

1:08:35

did not help all. You suck. that

1:08:37

everyone notices. Yeah. That

1:08:40

you can't hide. Eight reasons that

1:08:42

are impossible to hide. I say 17,

1:08:44

but it's just a placeholder for

1:08:46

all those girls magazines. Yes. Where you

1:08:48

thought you could get some kind

1:08:50

of insight and like crack a code.

1:08:52

Dude, that was my next pick.

1:08:54

YM was the same exact same thing.

1:08:56

That was my favorite one. I

1:08:58

feel like YM was like the most

1:09:00

down to earth. It was like

1:09:02

YM, then 17. then like

1:09:04

allure and glamour kind of

1:09:06

fluff and more clothes. And then

1:09:08

Cosmo was like grown women.

1:09:10

Right. were like, we read Cosmo,

1:09:12

but we were really scared of most of

1:09:14

the stuff that was in there. It was

1:09:16

a lot. Cosmo was a lot of sex

1:09:18

tips that I didn't understand. Yes. And we

1:09:20

would read them aloud to each other and

1:09:22

be like, that doesn't even. even make sense.

1:09:24

Like how, like I remember like being on

1:09:26

the beach with a bunch of my friends

1:09:28

and be like, okay, so if I was

1:09:30

a guy this way, you can't even sit

1:09:32

on someone like that and spin being like,

1:09:34

these don't even make sense. Just a bunch

1:09:37

of early O's fellatio tips. And you're like,

1:09:39

yeah, I feel like Cosmo was always just

1:09:41

like, keep chunks of mango in your mouth.

1:09:43

I was going to say it was all

1:09:45

just different stuff to put in your mouth

1:09:47

while you're giving head as if there's so

1:09:49

much room in there. Like, why am I

1:09:51

like, where? did all these ice cubes come

1:09:53

from? Am I sucking

1:09:55

dick in the back bar? Why

1:09:57

is everything so accessible? Like, there

1:09:59

were always accessories. I've never

1:10:01

talked to my buddy like, go ahead, go ahead.

1:10:03

No, just like, yeah, it was dope, but there

1:10:05

was no mango in there, so I mean, it

1:10:07

could have been. I honestly thought people were going

1:10:09

to be so disappointed by the lack of accoutrement

1:10:12

in my drawings. when

1:10:14

I went down on them. See if

1:10:16

you can fit a couple of whoppers in

1:10:18

there. Yeah, make

1:10:21

it savory. Price up your

1:10:23

blowjob with buffalo wings. Me

1:10:27

and Trina hooked up. It was pretty

1:10:29

cool, but she only had eight mankala

1:10:31

beads in her mouth, and it was

1:10:33

fine. Six

1:10:35

out of ten is like a score. Oh,

1:10:38

man. So many quizzes. So many

1:10:40

quizzes. Oh, I did love a good

1:10:42

quiz. Please tell me who I

1:10:44

am via quiz form. I think that

1:10:46

that was like BuzzFeed, I guess,

1:10:48

was the last one to really get

1:10:50

us going. But YM also had

1:10:52

Say Anything. which was like girls

1:10:54

would write in horror stories. That's what I

1:10:56

love. I didn't have to sneak it

1:10:58

because my sisters got it. So I would

1:11:00

just like take it. Perfect, perfect. But

1:11:02

like the say anythings were like girls being

1:11:04

like, oh my God, you'll never believe

1:11:06

what happened. And inevitably it was like the

1:11:08

biggest period of all time during class

1:11:11

was like every story. But it was just

1:11:13

horror stories. And I felt like the

1:11:15

Rosetta Stone too. I was like, okay, the

1:11:17

girls are like, this is their. of

1:11:19

what they're afraid of. They have concerns too.

1:11:21

They're neurotic as well. Now I'll

1:11:23

use that for them to have sex with me.

1:11:25

You're trying to empathize in class. In

1:11:27

15 years. But if Adam ever

1:11:29

saw a girl acting cagey and then

1:11:31

offered his hoodie for her to

1:11:33

tie around her waist, he would have

1:11:35

gotten fucked by anybody who heard

1:11:37

that story. That's the nicest thing you

1:11:39

could have done is be aware

1:11:41

of period I didn't pay enough attention.

1:11:45

We didn't know the right words. They were

1:11:47

all just like things either coming out

1:11:49

of or getting stuck in your snatch. It

1:11:51

was most of the horror stories were

1:11:53

just like, oh, no, it won't stop coming

1:11:55

out or I can't get it out.

1:11:57

That was most of what. It's stuck. Yeah,

1:12:00

a lot of them were just like,

1:12:02

oh, no. Wait,

1:12:07

boy, I got one more, dude. Like 17

1:12:09

Magazine, my senior year of high school. came

1:12:11

to my high school. They would do profiles

1:12:14

of high school fashions. See, this fucking guy

1:12:16

went to a cool school, man. I was

1:12:18

going to say, Adam, have so many cool

1:12:20

magazines. to East High School. But,

1:12:22

dude, and everybody knew. They're like, the

1:12:24

people from 17 are here. They're doing

1:12:26

a profile on East. This is going

1:12:29

to rip. And they would just pick

1:12:31

kids. Across several days. So,

1:12:33

dude, every day I rocked like

1:12:35

a different thing, trying so hard to

1:12:37

get picked. One day a soccer

1:12:39

jersey, one day like a vest with

1:12:41

stripes or whatever, just 90s shit's

1:12:43

going on. And they were like, nope,

1:12:45

nope, nope. I couldn't get in

1:12:48

there. Were

1:12:50

you pissed when you saw who

1:12:52

they picked? Oh, absolutely. Fucking

1:12:54

Rick? You

1:12:56

picked the wrong job to get into because

1:12:58

none of that changes. Totally.

1:13:01

What do you mean they got that? We

1:13:03

just had Surge come in our high school.

1:13:05

Oh, man. I do remember that as well.

1:13:07

I remember Surge came to ours as well.

1:13:09

Hell yeah. Like Mr.

1:13:11

Surge? No, but Adam

1:13:14

Surge was the photographer for 17.

1:13:16

Ours was the green shit that

1:13:18

you're not supposed to put in

1:13:20

your body. Yeah, make

1:13:22

sure boob shrink. Don't drink it. I

1:13:24

also remember Mountain Dew coming to my

1:13:26

Boys and Girls Club. and giving us

1:13:28

they give us a a bunch of

1:13:30

free mountain dew and then they set

1:13:32

up a tower of cans and they

1:13:34

pulled up in a hummer set up

1:13:36

a tower of cans, kick flipped

1:13:38

over the tower, gave all these

1:13:40

black kids free Mountain Dews and

1:13:42

drove off immediately. Jesus Christ. And

1:13:45

then hindsight, you're like, that's fucked.

1:13:47

You hear stuff like that and

1:13:49

you're like, well, maybe RFK should

1:13:51

retool a few things. Yeah, yeah,

1:13:53

yeah. You're like, that was fucked.

1:13:55

That was fucked. And

1:13:57

just ollied out of your high

1:13:59

fructose lives never to be seen

1:14:02

again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh,

1:14:04

man. That's such a good pick. Such

1:14:06

a good 17. But yeah, 17. That

1:14:08

was people don't realize it was for

1:14:11

boys, too. It really was. It is

1:14:13

adorable to know that you wanted information

1:14:15

that badly about us. It's also just

1:14:17

is like totally the kind of guy

1:14:19

I was where I was like, yeah,

1:14:21

I won't talk to them. I'll just

1:14:23

learn their secrets from this magazine and

1:14:25

apply it that way. Yeah. You know

1:14:28

what I'm saying? Like I could have

1:14:30

just talked. Yeah. Yeah. But you were

1:14:32

like, I can't trust them to trust

1:14:34

to like interpret the words that I

1:14:36

say correctly. going to sneak up

1:14:38

on them. I'm going to do it the sneakiest

1:14:40

way possible. I also just

1:14:42

remembered how good those magazines smelled.

1:14:45

So many makeup samples or perfume

1:14:47

samples. I can smell that right

1:14:49

now. forgot about the makeup samples,

1:14:51

though, because I didn't have makeup.

1:14:53

So I would, like, save the,

1:14:55

like, be like, okay, I have

1:14:57

two more fingers worth of eyeshadow

1:14:59

inside this flap. It

1:15:01

was like the best looking week I

1:15:03

had for like the whole summer. I

1:15:05

forgot they would put eyeshadow and shit

1:15:07

in there. Man, that was awesome. And

1:15:09

cologne, right? I remember opening like in

1:15:11

the store. I'd open the thing and

1:15:13

like rub the cologne on your neck. That

1:15:16

never seemed to transfer in a

1:15:18

real way, though. Let's be honest.

1:15:20

Sean just smelling like Curve. We're

1:15:22

ready to Just smelling like magazine

1:15:24

adhesive glue kind of. Yeah. But

1:15:27

you think it's Tommy girl. Smells

1:15:29

like a sexy envelope in here.

1:15:31

What's going on? Oh,

1:15:33

that's just me. Don't worry about it. Here's my hoodie.

1:15:35

Who smells like the post office? Here's my hoodie.

1:15:37

Man, I want to fuck these documents. Oh,

1:15:40

man. But yeah, 17.

1:15:43

That's my pick. ACH. Oh,

1:15:46

man. That was my next pick, Bory.

1:15:48

For real. That was it. I wrote YM

1:15:50

slash 17. All right. You

1:15:52

know, after I became a bit

1:15:55

more fucking pathetic in my 20s, I

1:15:57

went to Spin Magazine. I was

1:15:59

like, fuck Rolling Stone. Rolling Stone's basic.

1:16:01

I'm on the Spin shit now.

1:16:03

And I was very into Spin Magazine

1:16:05

for a time. Spin was cool,

1:16:07

though. Spin was cool. Spin was cool.

1:16:10

Is Spin more alt? It felt

1:16:12

like it was like college rock or

1:16:14

something like that. It was just

1:16:16

like the... this sort of, like, more

1:16:18

record store snobby magazine. Because that's

1:16:20

more what I remember of a Nirvana

1:16:22

cover is, like, a fisheye lens

1:16:25

of them, like, from, like, if you

1:16:27

got shot from, like, a surveillance

1:16:29

camera almost. Yeah. And just, like, a

1:16:31

lot of gritty, when people were

1:16:33

doing that, like, it's, like,

1:16:35

a high flash blue, like, that kind

1:16:37

of thing. Bunch of Soundgarden videos. I

1:16:39

mean, that's where you get, like, this

1:16:42

is a Mudhoney, Mother Love Bone interview

1:16:44

magazine. You know, we're not saying. They

1:16:46

still had really famous people on the

1:16:48

cover. I feel like they just seemed

1:16:50

cooler. Like Rolling Stone

1:16:52

felt like it was a sellout

1:16:54

magazine. Yeah, that's always going to

1:16:56

go that way where there's even Rolling Stone

1:16:58

started alt or whatever, and then it got

1:17:01

mainstream. So someone else is like, all right,

1:17:03

we're going to capitalize and come in and

1:17:05

get like Blind Melon on the cover.

1:17:07

Well, and spin definitely like was. my niche

1:17:09

of early two thousands indie rock. So it

1:17:11

was like the, the bands, the strokes, the

1:17:13

hives, the fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the

1:17:15

white stripes. That would also have like MIA. Yeah.

1:17:18

Totally. Totally. When paper planes came out, I

1:17:20

really, I did that douchey thing where I'm

1:17:22

like, Oh, nobody knows about this. I'm going

1:17:24

to act like I've known about it for

1:17:26

years when I heard it yesterday for the

1:17:28

first time. Yo, do you know she's a

1:17:30

trumper? Yeah, she went

1:17:32

wild a while ago. that crazy? I

1:17:34

couldn't believe that one. I know.

1:17:37

It's a real bummer. But I loved

1:17:39

M .I .A. I worked in the

1:17:41

mall and sun showers. Like, I think

1:17:43

maybe the song before Paper Planes.

1:17:45

And it's still like, you know, kind

1:17:47

of like bongo -y, like the beat.

1:17:50

No one in that store liked that song

1:17:52

but me. Everybody in American Eagle would get

1:17:54

on the overhead and be like, can we

1:17:56

get this song? And it was like... you,

1:17:58

Trish. This song rips. Like, I was the

1:18:00

only one. I was going to ask where

1:18:02

you work. I always wanted to work in

1:18:04

a mall. I never got to. So you

1:18:06

worked at American Eagle? Yes, I worked. That's

1:18:08

all I did was work in mall. That's

1:18:10

hot shit. That is. Well, I used to

1:18:12

work in. Yeah, with attitude. I used to

1:18:14

work in the sketchy girl store where they

1:18:16

were the only people that still hired you

1:18:18

at 15. And then I graduated to American

1:18:20

Eagle. Damn. Yeah.

1:18:22

Were you getting a lot of free American Eagle? No,

1:18:25

we did have one good day. Nothing was

1:18:27

ever free, but we had jeans day for like

1:18:29

back to school where you had to try

1:18:31

on all the different pairs of jeans so that

1:18:33

you could describe how they fit to other

1:18:35

people. But it was really fun because it was

1:18:38

everyone. Like when you like want to hope

1:18:40

that you get a shift with your friend and

1:18:42

you never do, you knew everyone was going

1:18:44

to be at work that day. So you got

1:18:46

to like hang out and try on pants

1:18:48

with all the people you like the most at

1:18:50

work. And I love clothes. So I was

1:18:52

like, yeah, that was my favorite day. But no,

1:18:54

we never got anything free ever. You didn't

1:18:56

steal. And I was bad at selling credit cards.

1:18:58

That's what they really like. No,

1:19:01

I didn't steal. I was

1:19:03

also of the age where a

1:19:05

lot of mine was being

1:19:07

sensitive to men who wanted skinny

1:19:09

jeans. could not find them

1:19:11

on their side of the store yet. So

1:19:13

I spent a lot of time just telling

1:19:15

boys what size they were in girls' jeans

1:19:17

because they wanted skinny jeans. There would always

1:19:20

be just guys like loitering on my side.

1:19:22

be like, do you need help? No, no,

1:19:24

no. I'm just looking around and be like,

1:19:26

you're not with a girl. Dude, you're a

1:19:28

12. Get out of my section. I can't

1:19:30

think of a better person to hold someone's

1:19:32

hand in that situation than you. You're

1:19:35

the best. God put you

1:19:37

on the planet for that. You

1:19:39

could help. these motherfuckers. You're perfectly dispositioned to

1:19:41

do this. It felt good. I did

1:19:43

have my guy friend used to borrow my

1:19:45

one good pair of American Eagle jeans.

1:19:47

be like, I have a date on Friday.

1:19:49

And I'd be like, I need my

1:19:51

good jeans. You can't wear my good jeans

1:19:53

on your date. Like, I know you're

1:19:56

getting laid more than me, but I don't

1:19:58

care. I'm wearing my jeans. In my

1:20:00

head when he said that, he also like

1:20:02

swooped his hair out. Oh, he absolutely

1:20:04

did. Trina! Because he couldn't see me. I

1:20:09

have to text him, see how he's doing. Yeah, see how

1:20:11

he's doing. I worked in a

1:20:13

mall my first job, and I stole everything.

1:20:15

I stole everything. So much. Oh, yeah. I

1:20:17

didn't even know things cost money at the

1:20:19

mall until I was like 20. The

1:20:22

Cherry Creek Mall. I worked at a shoe

1:20:24

store called Track and Trail. Doesn't even exist

1:20:26

anymore because I bankrupted it. Their

1:20:29

numbers were out of control. They were

1:20:31

in the red so bad after they hired

1:20:33

Adam. You caught me for the summer

1:20:35

before I went to college. I was leaving

1:20:37

state. You're fucked. I'm taking this all. You're

1:20:40

just iced out every day and you're like,

1:20:42

I don't know why we keep losing money.

1:20:44

Like showing up in the shit. I didn't

1:20:46

even care. I would steal fucking shoe parts.

1:20:48

cause and then like chuck it off the

1:20:50

fucking top of the parking deck just to

1:20:52

be an asshole I was I was relentless

1:20:54

good times I was the only other brown

1:20:56

person American Eagle was Filipino so I didn't

1:20:58

really want to get out there stealing like

1:21:01

crazy we may have been in different situations

1:21:03

no one was Adam and I were just

1:21:05

like what do you mean who gives a

1:21:07

shit yeah I was already

1:21:09

a sketchy hire to begin with. I've definitely

1:21:11

gotten jobs and had people tell me after

1:21:13

the fact, she thought you were going to

1:21:15

fail your drug test. It's

1:21:18

a crazy thing to not keep to

1:21:20

yourself. That's

1:21:22

because you think that's what happens when your racism is

1:21:24

so good. You think you're actually going to be right

1:21:26

and you're not going to have to be around that

1:21:28

person or smile at them every day for two years.

1:21:32

But no, American Eagle was a great

1:21:34

place to work. It was a very

1:21:36

a lot of upstanding. It was like

1:21:38

a more upstanding, mature people that had

1:21:40

like other jobs and kids. And like

1:21:42

my manager was an actor that was

1:21:44

on Cops once for like a reenactment.

1:21:46

Where was the mom? Where was this?

1:21:48

He started. That was his reel was

1:21:50

just him getting. arrested on yes no

1:21:52

and now that i'm older i realized

1:21:54

that he was in jacksonville florida managing

1:21:56

this american eagle talking to me because

1:21:58

he realized that we like kind of

1:22:00

were on the same wavelength because i

1:22:03

was the only one that didn't get

1:22:05

mad when he played avenue q for

1:22:07

the floor set and so he would

1:22:09

tell me about all of his extra

1:22:11

work oh that's dope man were you

1:22:13

like homies did you have homies with

1:22:15

like other people in the mall like

1:22:17

could you go get a free julius

1:22:19

or something Like did the mall workers

1:22:21

bind together? Food friends are cool. Food

1:22:23

friends give stuff away in droves. Closed

1:22:25

friends, not as much. You can like

1:22:27

kind of trade discount. Like if you

1:22:29

buy me this top, I'll buy you

1:22:31

these jeans. But everything's, it's like the

1:22:33

most you get is like 20 % off.

1:22:35

So it's like, who cares? But food

1:22:37

friends are awesome. Cause they'll be like,

1:22:39

are you closing? Cause I'm bringing a

1:22:41

cookie cake. I

1:22:44

used to work at a grocery store and people

1:22:46

would come through and I would scan like a pack

1:22:48

of gum. And they would have like their batteries.

1:22:50

Like my friends had come through. They'd have their batteries,

1:22:52

cartons of cigs. And it's going to pack a

1:22:54

gum. Yeah. And just, I mean, hundreds. This one girl

1:22:56

one time. So one of those popular girls in

1:22:58

school, she came through with a whole cart full of

1:23:00

stuff. It was like $300 worth of stuff. Grocery

1:23:03

shopping for her parents. And she's like, oh, I don't

1:23:05

have my debit card. And I was like, it's

1:23:07

cool. Don't worry about it. And she's like, what? She

1:23:09

goes, what? And I'm like, shut the fuck up.

1:23:11

I was like, just take it. It was the coolest

1:23:13

I ever looked. Did she talk to you afterwards?

1:23:15

People heard about it. Word

1:23:19

got around. People

1:23:22

heard that Sean gave someone

1:23:24

a week's worth of groceries

1:23:26

out the door. No tax.

1:23:30

Let's just say I wasn't late to class anymore. Oh,

1:23:33

OK, that's good. I don't even know what it meant.

1:23:35

And my voice cracked when I said it. That's how much

1:23:37

of a liar I am. Anyway, time for my time

1:23:39

for my. What number are we

1:23:41

on? I got to strategize. What number is this? So

1:23:43

this will be my third and fourth. So

1:23:45

coming up is going to be everyone's fourth

1:23:47

round. So everyone has two picks left. I

1:23:49

have three. So it is time for my

1:23:52

third pick. Before we get to that pick,

1:23:54

another quick break. This

1:23:56

show is sponsored by

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Uh -oh, we're back. Time for my third

1:26:01

and fourth picks. I'm

1:26:03

going to go double skateboard to no

1:26:05

one's surprise. So my third pick,

1:26:07

I'm going to go on the nose,

1:26:09

Thrasher. Just a

1:26:11

timeless skateboard magazine. Did anybody

1:26:13

else here ever mess

1:26:15

around with Thrasher? Yeah,

1:26:17

I would thumb through in the library.

1:26:19

Only to look at boys. But yes,

1:26:22

I did. Yeah, we were those

1:26:24

dirty boys. Thankfully that

1:26:26

there's that. Maybe it's gone.

1:26:28

I don't know. But when I was in, there

1:26:30

was a few years where I was in

1:26:32

the pocket where I'm like, oh man, girls really

1:26:34

seem to like this dirty kid that just

1:26:36

doesn't give a shit. That was like really appealing.

1:26:38

For sure. That's awesome that that worked out.

1:26:40

SZA has it in a song. She likes dudes

1:26:42

with dirty shoes. It's hard. I

1:26:45

saw that guy skateboarding around San

1:26:47

Francisco a couple of times. Who, Jake

1:26:49

Phelps? Yeah, yeah. I

1:26:51

never knew. One time I was standing with

1:26:53

Claire O 'Kane and she was like, that's the

1:26:56

guy who runs Thrasher. And I was like, that's

1:26:59

the weed dog. Yeah, he

1:27:01

was... The thing about some

1:27:03

of those old skate dudes is

1:27:05

they still say the words,

1:27:07

some of them. I believe that.

1:27:10

You can't say that, but

1:27:12

there's no real way to say

1:27:14

it. It's like the F

1:27:16

word, those things. I swear

1:27:18

they don't mean it maliciously, but of course

1:27:20

it always is. It's just that

1:27:22

old mentality of like, why can't I say this?

1:27:24

And you're like, well, there's a bunch of reasons, but

1:27:26

they just never stopped. Jake Phelps was one of

1:27:29

those dudes where you're like, he would say, he would

1:27:31

say every one of those words. And you're like,

1:27:33

I don't know, man. He's an interesting dude. He was.

1:27:35

So are you saying we need more trans women

1:27:37

at the skate park, Sean? He

1:27:40

might take Transworld next. Yeah, we need

1:27:42

more visibility. Because that's what I was thinking.

1:27:44

It's just because there's no one at

1:27:46

the park that would ever... It's like, it's

1:27:48

just us, dude. It's like, I've gone

1:27:51

roller skating and been like, oh, there's no

1:27:53

one but dudes. Like, all dudes of

1:27:55

different ages and sizes that are all the

1:27:57

same person. All at the park. So

1:27:59

it's like, yeah. I can see

1:28:01

why they're like, what's the big deal? I've

1:28:03

never literally been around anyone else that it

1:28:05

mattered because I'm only ever around people at

1:28:07

this park. We're just barbecuing on our radiators. Yeah,

1:28:12

so Thrasher, nothing crazy to say

1:28:14

about it. Iconic covers just the best

1:28:16

skate magazine there was. Great font. Sick

1:28:19

hoodies. And

1:28:21

I'm not a purist. I don't

1:28:23

feel like, because people get mad

1:28:25

that the Thrasher logo is everywhere

1:28:27

now. The way I see it,

1:28:29

It helps skateboarding in general. Like if that

1:28:31

means that some people get more money for

1:28:33

being professional skaters, then I'm fine with it.

1:28:35

If that means that Thrasher gets more money

1:28:38

and could stay around longer in an in

1:28:40

-print magazine, which is going away, then I'm

1:28:42

fine with it. So I don't know. I

1:28:44

don't care about that stuff. Everybody go buy

1:28:46

a Thrasher shirt, support skateboarding. And the other

1:28:48

one, my fourth pick is a defunct magazine,

1:28:50

but it was absolutely the best is Big

1:28:52

Brother magazine. oh i saw the

1:28:54

documentary on it precursor to uh like

1:28:57

jackass right yeah that's where all the

1:28:59

jackass people met so big brother larry

1:29:01

flint uh of hustler fame but so

1:29:03

big brother started uh as a magazine

1:29:05

and then larry flint bought it and

1:29:07

then uh i think that started kind

1:29:09

of going downhill but it's where like

1:29:11

all the jackass people met they had

1:29:13

those videos like Uh, shit, shit, boob

1:29:16

and poop were their three videos they

1:29:18

made. And, uh, they were just like

1:29:20

jackass before jackass, like Johnny knock Phil

1:29:22

in the, in the shit video, like

1:29:24

shot himself point blank with a 45.

1:29:26

He did the, he got tased all

1:29:28

these things. And big brother was like,

1:29:30

we definitely shouldn't have been reading it.

1:29:33

There was no reason a kid should

1:29:35

have had big brother ever. Yes. Nudity.

1:29:37

There were so many, I mean, they

1:29:39

had the bong Olympics. They had all

1:29:41

they had horror stories too. They like,

1:29:43

People would write in and just tell

1:29:45

a horror story. I remember one specific.

1:29:47

I can't even say it. They were

1:29:49

they were just gross. They were super,

1:29:52

super gross. Stuff stuck in stuff. It

1:29:54

was fetish stuff. Fetish stuff when I

1:29:56

was way too young. And now I look

1:29:58

back and I'm like, I don't think

1:30:00

I think this person just wrote it in

1:30:02

for shock value. But I believed it

1:30:04

when I was, you know, 15. And it

1:30:07

was crazy. Like piss stuff that

1:30:09

Ben Roy's into? I'm trying to start this

1:30:11

rumor that Ben Roy is super into piss

1:30:13

stuff. I've been doing it on my podcast

1:30:15

a lot. But yeah, my buddy Ben Roy,

1:30:17

the comedian, is like big into piss stuff.

1:30:19

I had no idea. Yeah, it's weird. And

1:30:21

he's single, so like if you were into

1:30:23

him, that's his kink. I remember High Plains

1:30:25

last year. shame. He had me pee in

1:30:27

a Gatorade and he just poured it on

1:30:29

himself. It's what he's into. Yeah, Ben Roy,

1:30:31

the tattooed comic from Denver, super pissed stuff

1:30:33

guy. But go ahead, Sean. I wonder if

1:30:35

the judo crew knows that. I'm sure they

1:30:37

do. They shower together and shit. I'm sure

1:30:39

they all know that. Yeah, they all pee

1:30:41

all over. Anyway. Oh, Ben doesn't

1:30:43

come for me, by the way. It's all good,

1:30:45

buddy. he does, you're going to have to get my back. There's a quick way

1:30:47

to disarm him. Oh,

1:30:51

I peed my pants, Ben. Just hit him with the old

1:30:53

number one. Anyway,

1:30:56

yeah, Thrasher and Big Brother, just my

1:30:58

skateboard magazines, loved them. And yeah, we've

1:31:01

talked about skateboarding enough. Adam, time for

1:31:03

your fourth pick. Okay, my fourth pick

1:31:05

is not, doesn't mean much to me

1:31:07

at all, but every time that I

1:31:09

encounter it, I'm pretty happy to spend

1:31:11

some time with it. And it's usually

1:31:13

in a waiting room at an office

1:31:16

or whatever. Architectural Digest. Oh,

1:31:18

that's fun. I do not mind that

1:31:20

one fucking bit because it's always a waiting

1:31:22

room experience for me. And I'm like,

1:31:24

let's get into it. Let's see what people,

1:31:26

let's see how the rich are fucking

1:31:28

living. I want to check it. I want

1:31:30

to see some nice houses. I want

1:31:32

to see some living rooms. I just enjoy

1:31:34

flipping through that thing. It's so good.

1:31:36

Also great pictures and it's extra big. So

1:31:38

you can really like imagine you're in

1:31:41

the space. I love architectural digest. And it's,

1:31:43

there's some fantasy. You're like, yeah, if

1:31:45

I had, yes, I would do something like

1:31:47

this. Otherwise I'd be mad.

1:31:49

It's like, I'm just putting my, put

1:31:51

myself in these beautiful places. I'm not

1:31:53

thinking about how this Louisiana mansion costs

1:31:55

$14 million. Right. Or what blood money

1:31:57

earned it. Like, I don't give a

1:31:59

fuck. I just want to see this

1:32:01

house. Exactly. I like the, uh, the

1:32:04

AD like. tour of people's houses, just

1:32:06

like the new famous people cribs where

1:32:08

you're like, oh, this is your house.

1:32:10

It's fun. Like, yeah, I do want

1:32:12

to see where Jesse Tyler Ferguson, what

1:32:14

his loft looks like, you know? Dude,

1:32:17

I remember the last one I was

1:32:19

looking through, it was like right when Kendrick

1:32:21

Lamar and Drake were really starting to

1:32:23

beef. It was like it was right when

1:32:25

that was happening. I was in some

1:32:27

waiting room and there's an architectural digest. And

1:32:29

like I'm old. I got kids. I

1:32:31

don't listen to shit anymore. I know Kendrick's

1:32:34

fucking way better, but I didn't care.

1:32:36

I'm not invested in this. I'm just like

1:32:38

all these two people in pop culture

1:32:40

are beefing. I don't give a shit. But

1:32:42

then they had Drake's Toronto mansion and

1:32:44

I was looking at it and it was

1:32:46

so fucking awful. That I was just

1:32:48

like, okay, Kendrick, I'm team Kendrick. Off the

1:32:50

strength of your gaudy, cheesy ass, you

1:32:53

don't know what to do with your money,

1:32:55

you got no picked Kendrick based off