0:00

Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair

0:02

Expert early and add free right

0:04

now. Join Wondry Plus in the

0:07

Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts,

0:09

or you can listen for free

0:11

wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome,

0:14

welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.

0:16

I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined

0:18

by Monica Padman and Aaron

0:20

Weakley. This is a fucking

0:22

nuts episode. We

0:25

shouldn't put it out and you

0:27

shouldn't listen to it. This is

0:29

first responders and we did hear

0:31

a story that rivals the very

0:33

worst of stories we've ever heard.

0:35

You can't listen to it. You

0:37

just like absolutely cannot listen it.

0:39

It's fucking insane. I'm thinking of

0:41

the thing when she described him

0:44

walking. me too, me too. It's

0:46

wild. It's fucking wild. Boy, first responders,

0:48

I mean, you know, they see it all, but

0:50

they see more than you think they see. I'm

0:52

sorry you guys aren't going to be able to

0:54

listen. Don't enjoy first

0:56

responders. Can't eat, can't drink,

0:58

can't operate a vehicle. You

1:01

have to be in a padded room to

1:03

listen to this with nothing sharp around. enjoy

1:06

first responders. We

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life. I had

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a mole. I remember

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one thing. You gotta

3:22

know. I'ma keep on

3:24

shining. We

3:35

got kind of a breakfast theme going on

3:37

because my name is Breakfast Bot on there. What

3:39

is it? Breakfast Bot? Breakfast Bot, B -O -D.

3:42

Oh, Breakfast Bot. Oh, I love it. I was

3:44

about to say this looks like a show.

3:46

It looks fun. Where do you live? I'm in

3:48

Charleston, South Carolina. Oh, gosh. Yeah,

3:50

I kind of want to live there. Do

3:52

you love it? I like it, but

3:54

we're full, so don't move here. Oh, yeah,

3:56

Oh, I know. You guys are, like,

3:58

not into it. Although, who was just telling

4:01

us that lives there that they like

4:03

Californians? I think it was another armchair anonymous

4:05

person. They had some distinction between what

4:07

groups they liked. OK, so you have a

4:09

first responder story. Sure thing. I've got

4:11

two fun facts, though, for Dax real quick,

4:13

if we have time. wait. Yeah, we

4:15

do. Dax, you and I have the same

4:17

birthday, January 2nd. J2C, congratulations. Every

4:20

time you say it, I'm like, yep, let's go,

4:22

J2C. And we both have kids named

4:24

Lincoln. Oh, you have a boy

4:26

or a girl? A boy named Lincoln. Yeah,

4:28

he's nine. Before I was a fan of

4:30

the show and everything. Sweet. Yeah. Do you

4:32

want to show your tattoo? I doubt I

4:34

can. Yeah, I need a good look so

4:36

I can get my matching one, too. Yeah,

4:38

exactly. J2C, what

4:40

a crew. Some people are just born

4:42

blessed. Some people are A24V, and that's

4:45

cool. Oh, what a A24V. Actually, it's

4:47

cool because A24, actually, it's really cool.

4:49

Oh, okay. It only works if you

4:51

have another, there's no other A24V. I

4:53

know so many people born on my

4:55

birthday. On your birthday, but it's the

4:57

July 2nd. Cancer that makes J2C so

4:59

elusive. April 24, I guess you could

5:02

be, but what's the sign for April?

5:04

Not V. Fuck, visa only. All right,

5:06

Christian, sorry we ate up so much

5:08

of your time with that. Okay,

5:11

hit us with the first responder

5:13

story. It was 2018. I

5:15

worked EMS from 2015 to

5:17

2021. So a little bit

5:19

about the geographics of my county. The

5:22

lower half is lots of cities, high

5:24

population. The upper half is

5:26

very country, very rural. Everything is far apart.

5:28

So we've already got an extended ETA.

5:30

We get dispatched to a motor vehicle accident,

5:32

which is a very common call, you

5:34

know, neck and back pain type of stuff.

5:36

We don't get very many details on

5:38

this call. We're just going in blind. When

5:40

we get there, the first thing we

5:42

see is a car with very heavy damage.

5:45

It's in a ditch next to a

5:47

tree line, and it's got smoke coming out,

5:49

glass broken everywhere. I mean, it looks

5:51

like a movie set. Oh, no. Police

5:53

already there? No. So that's the weird thing.

5:55

We show up. There's nobody there. I mean, it's

5:57

dead silence. But the weirdest part is that

5:59

there's no collar. Typically, there's at least the collar.

6:01

I guess this was just a passerby. When

6:03

I say it's dead silent, I mean, you can

6:05

hear the squirrels in the tree line. That's

6:07

about it. We go up to the vehicle expecting

6:10

to find a patient. We don't see anyone.

6:12

We're looking around. I'm looking down the street. I'm

6:14

looking under the car. I'm looking in the

6:16

car. We're just trying to find this person because

6:18

they could obviously be very, very hurt. Me

6:21

and my partner are very confused. We can't find

6:23

this guy. So we're asking dispatch for additional

6:25

information and I keep hearing these damn squirrels in

6:27

the tree. Oh, no. I

6:29

look up and 15 feet

6:31

in the air, I see my

6:33

patient being suspended. Oh,

6:35

I had two tiny ranches.

6:37

Oh, my God. And

6:39

he's out cold, it seems. I

6:42

immediately look at my partner and

6:44

I say, oh, fuck, he's dead.

6:46

Yeah, which is not very professional,

6:48

but that's what happened. Yeah, that's

6:50

for times. Immediately we're

6:52

like, what are we going to do? Luckily

6:54

fire shows up two minutes later. They're

6:56

asking where the patient is and we just

6:58

kind of point up. Now there's no

7:00

protocol for getting a guy out of a

7:02

tree. We just reached for the largest

7:04

ladder on the truck, leaned it up against

7:06

the tree. I think these ladders are

7:08

made for like one guy, maybe two guys

7:10

at a time. So weight distribution was

7:12

kind of iffy, but we ended up creating

7:14

like a human pyramid under the ladder

7:16

with all the guys we could while me

7:18

and my partner climbed up there. with

7:21

our gear. How come they didn't send

7:23

the firefighter up? It feels like that's

7:25

their domain. I volunteered. I wanted to

7:27

be up there. Okay, okay, okay. So

7:29

I went up there and we packaged

7:31

him as best we could. We lifted

7:33

his legs and we slid a backboard

7:35

under his belly between his belly and

7:37

the branches. We had to slide him

7:39

face down onto the backboard, get

7:42

a collar on him as best

7:44

we could, strap him in, and then

7:46

basically create a human chain to

7:48

slide him down the ladder. Oh, my

7:50

God. This seems impossible without losing

7:52

him and him flying down the ladder

7:54

and taking people out. Yeah, and

7:56

keep in mind, he's also very injured.

7:58

He's hardly breathing at this point. Oh,

8:01

God. So when we do finally get out

8:03

there and get him looked at, we can obviously

8:05

smell the booze. He had been drinking and

8:07

driving. We get him down, we get

8:09

him onto the stretcher, and then we

8:11

start our assessment and everything. We immediately call

8:13

for a helicopter, a medivacum,

8:15

because again, we're out in the country. It's

8:17

about 25, 30 minutes to the nearest

8:19

trauma center. We get fired to set up

8:22

an LZ landing zone. His breathing started

8:24

declining very drastically. So we have what's called

8:26

a rapid sequence intubation RSI. I've only

8:28

assisted in maybe three RSI's in the five

8:30

years that I was working there. It's

8:32

very invasive. Basically what we do is we

8:34

give them a paralytic and a sedative

8:36

and we put them in a medically induced

8:38

coma. we stop their breathing and we

8:40

have to intubate them. This has got to

8:42

be a hard call to make. Yeah,

8:44

it's not done lightly, but when we do

8:46

it, we do it right. So we

8:48

get them intubated, we drive them to the

8:50

LZ, the helicopter's waiting for us,

8:52

and then we turn them over to the

8:55

flight team, they take their report, and

8:57

of course, he's transported to the nearest trauma

8:59

facility. As far as his injuries afterwards, he ended

9:01

up having a massive brain bleed. When we

9:03

showed up, I didn't see a big hole in

9:05

the windshield. I think he was ejected out

9:07

of the driver's side window. Oh my God. As

9:09

the car was rolling. And how did

9:11

he get that high up? Fucking momentum. Well,

9:13

think of you were on a seesaw

9:15

and the seesaw went up at 60 miles

9:17

an hour. That's how fast the car's

9:19

probably just think just slow down by your

9:21

body getting out of the window. I've

9:23

seen a lot of videos of people getting

9:26

thrown out of vehicles because dumbasses that

9:28

off -road don't wear a seatbelt and I've

9:30

seen that a bunch. It's crazy how easily

9:32

the body just flies out the window.

9:34

I think he was probably less injured because

9:36

he was drunk. They say that when

9:38

you're drunk your body's more relaxed. Not telling

9:40

anyone to go drunk dropping. No. But

9:42

if you're mid -crash, do drink a

9:44

fifth of Jack really quick. This is

9:46

very ER. This is very the pit.

9:48

I love You love it. I mean,

9:50

I'm sorry for that guy. Don't you

9:52

like how gangster Christian is like, I

9:54

like these EMTs. They're just like, let's

9:57

get going. That's what the job is.

9:59

You RSI. And you stop doing

10:01

it though? Yeah. I went into business

10:03

for myself in 2021. So now

10:05

I'm self -employed and That allows a lot

10:07

of freedom for me to do Twitch. I

10:09

probably stream about 80 hours a month. That's

10:11

a lot. You're busy. Now, have you ever

10:13

been anywhere post this career and some shits

10:15

gone down and you've got to get involved?

10:17

Yeah, much like you. I feel like I

10:19

have a hero complex. I want to get

10:21

in there when I want to pull over.

10:23

But luckily, my wife is reasonable and says,

10:25

listen, you can see them. They're good. No

10:28

heroes needed. Oh, wow, Christian sharing

10:30

that. That's wild. What a thing. Great

10:32

meeting you. Have a great rest of your

10:34

day. All right, take care. Take care.

10:36

Bye. Bye. I don't

10:38

want anyone to have hero complexes, but

10:41

I also get it. Yeah. Because

10:43

it is attractive when someone's a

10:45

hero. Of course. just watched an

10:47

episode of ER. George

10:50

Clooney rescued this boy. He was stuck

10:52

in a like sewer tunnel and then it

10:54

was starting to flood and he was

10:56

starting to pass out. He got him out

10:58

just in time. But then the water

11:00

rushes and he can't find him and then

11:02

he finds him and he lifts him

11:04

up and he's a hero. Hi.

11:08

Hi. Is it Eliza? It

11:11

is. Eliza, where are you? I am

11:13

actually in LA in Culver City. Oh,

11:15

Monica was just stranded there. That's where

11:17

I met Ted, my AAA driver, who

11:19

is an angel. course. I do feel

11:21

guilty because we haven't reconnected. I haven't

11:23

called him lunch. Yeah, you're going to

11:25

have to for the arm cherries, because

11:27

they were pretty invested in that. Oh,

11:29

my God. Yeah. There was a lot

11:31

of people wanting an update when you

11:33

guys have lunch and get married and

11:35

have a family. OK. That's so great.

11:37

OK. She could just send us screenshots

11:39

and post those. That would be great.

11:41

They live streamed at lunch. OK,

11:44

so you have a first responder story.

11:46

I have a first responder story that takes

11:48

place here in LA. And

11:50

the reason I moved out here

11:52

is because my boyfriend and I were

11:55

doing long distance between LA and

11:57

New York for three years. He will

11:59

feature heavily in this story. This

12:01

story takes place August of 2024. I

12:03

am not a trained first responder.

12:05

My boyfriend is not a first responder.

12:07

We stumbled into becoming first responders

12:09

for an emergency. I'm not. and adrenaline

12:11

junkie in the way that I

12:13

want to step in. I shut down.

12:15

You don't have a hero complex. Absolutely

12:18

not. So last summer my cousin

12:20

who is a musician was having a

12:22

choir concert with his group downtown and

12:25

my boyfriend and I decided to go.

12:27

I work sometimes from downtown LA so

12:29

I'm familiar with downtown proper but not

12:31

all of the neighborhoods. So this was

12:33

somewhere that I'd never visited before. We

12:35

are driving around looking for parking and

12:37

you guys know how horrific parking in

12:40

LA can be. This is more of

12:42

a residential area though. Can't find

12:44

anything. We're turning down all these side

12:46

streets. We finally are on a that

12:48

looks promising. So we're going

12:50

kind of slowly along to

12:52

try to see whether there's any

12:54

spots. I'm driving, my boyfriend's

12:57

in the passenger seat. There's a

12:59

nice silver BMW and its

13:01

front window and back windows are

13:03

smashed in and there's little

13:05

licks of flame on the front

13:08

hood. Oh. And then notice

13:10

there's two men near the car

13:12

on the side of the

13:14

road. one standing shouting over the

13:16

other one who is now

13:18

rolling on the ground and I'm

13:21

clocking closer on the ground,

13:23

fire is now on the lawn.

13:26

And I don't know at this

13:28

point if this is a

13:30

hate crime, if there's an attack,

13:32

this is happening within like

13:34

0 .5 seconds. We notice, okay,

13:36

this man. is on fire. My

13:38

boyfriend, who was an emergency

13:40

responder in college, but

13:42

still goes back

13:44

into full hero mode.

13:46

I shut down. So

13:49

he gets out of the car. He's like, call 911.

13:51

I'm going to go assess the situation.

13:54

The man who was standing over is

13:56

kind of standing to the side. There's

13:58

gasoline. And the man who was rolling

14:00

on the ground has now stood

14:02

up, two things I clock

14:04

immediately. He is fully

14:06

naked and covered basically in third

14:08

degree burns. Oh, wow. Oh, my God.

14:11

There's a can of gas in

14:13

the mix, too? That the guy's holding.

14:15

There's still little embers on the

14:17

lawn. I now get a hold of

14:19

the police. I'm trying to tell

14:21

them where I am because I'm not

14:23

familiar with the neighborhood. I look

14:26

over the man who is fully nude

14:28

is now stumbling to my car,

14:30

trying to get into the back seat.

14:32

to have me take him to

14:34

the hospital. If I was witnessing this

14:36

tableau, I have no guess at

14:39

what's going Me too. Normally I'm like,

14:41

oh, I can see what's happening

14:43

here. be, not to like, but did

14:45

you feel that these people that

14:47

you came across were potentially unhoused or

14:49

on drugs? No unhoused, no

14:51

clue on drugs. Okay. The

14:54

guy is trying to get in my

14:56

car. I'm like, Hey, thank you so much,

14:58

please. Thank you. Thanks for

15:00

trusting me. such a female response.

15:02

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world featuring a soundtrack inspired. I'm

17:29

still on the phone. They

17:31

now cross the street. His person

17:33

follows him. My person follows

17:35

him. They're now all going around

17:38

the corner and down the

17:40

street. So they're out of sight.

17:42

The paramedics finally come. At

17:44

this point, the lawn is still

17:46

going. The fire is now

17:48

completely engulfed the car. Oh, the

17:51

entire hood has melted off.

17:53

It's a huge fire. All of

17:55

the neighbors now are coming

17:57

out. We realized they were watching

17:59

and filming from the inside,

18:01

but no one did anything, which

18:03

I was really angry about

18:05

at first because I was like,

18:07

how are you watching someone? in

18:09

an emergency, but also I recognize my

18:12

privilege in that when I call the

18:14

police, I feel safe. Not everyone feels

18:16

that and everyone has their own reaction.

18:18

So I think that's important to say.

18:20

I am now watching the police try

18:22

to get this car under control, try

18:24

to get the neighbors to

18:27

give some context and calling my boyfriend

18:29

because I have no idea where he

18:31

is. Brian, you've got a choir show

18:33

see. Why did he leave? I thought

18:35

a choir show. It turns out this

18:37

entire time while I'm calling him, he's

18:39

on the phone with the police. My

18:41

boyfriend is now trying to have him

18:43

stay in one place. He keeps running

18:45

because he in his state of mind

18:47

is saying, I just need to get

18:49

to the hospital, not realizing we brought

18:51

the hospital to you. The paramedics are

18:53

now talking to me. getting my statement,

18:55

getting the neighbor's statements, they've put out

18:57

the fire and are now picking up

18:59

pieces of clothing and phones and things

19:01

from the side of the road. They

19:03

get the three Stooges, my boyfriend, the

19:05

other man and the man on fire

19:08

back and are now interviewing my boyfriend,

19:10

getting the man who's on fire into

19:12

the ambulance and into wound treatment and

19:14

trying to pull. his boyfriend off to

19:16

the side. Okay, okay.

19:20

So I think it was a lover's

19:22

tiff, to say the least, where a

19:24

person on fire smashed in the car

19:26

as like a fuck you, lit it

19:28

on fire and then was like, you

19:30

made me do this because the boyfriend

19:32

kept yelling over him, baby, why did

19:34

you do this? I told you not

19:36

to do this. What have you done? Did

19:39

they live right there? No, the

19:41

neighbors were like, We have no idea

19:43

who these people are. I think

19:45

they just pulled up. Then we got

19:47

back in the car, cried a

19:49

lot, gathered ourselves and went to the

19:51

concert. A lot of adrenaline. the

19:53

power of choir heal all wounds? It

19:55

was very healing. You have to

19:58

laugh at the absurdity of, here's a

20:00

guy with his dick out on

20:02

my Saturday night. Okay, I got a

20:04

one second story for you. It's about my

20:06

brother. He was out of town on

20:08

business. He's eating at a Taco Bell. He's

20:10

by himself. He hears a collision. He

20:12

looks out the window. a Taco Bell and

20:14

there's a man that somehow has crashed

20:16

his motorcycle but is on top of it

20:18

as it slides, slides into the lawn of

20:20

the Taco Bell and the

20:22

motorcycle caught on fire and

20:24

gas was getting everywhere and the guy was

20:26

on fire and my brother ran out

20:28

of Taco Bell. He took his

20:30

shirt off to pat the guy down. But

20:32

my favorite part of the story is

20:35

my brother said, I'm like batting

20:37

this guy out and all I can

20:39

think of is I gotta get

20:41

my shirt back on. Even

20:43

while he was actively rescuing someone,

20:45

he was like really insecure. He

20:48

would not have taken his shirt off otherwise

20:50

in front of Taco Bell. nice of him. Yeah,

20:52

a little bit of personal sacrifice, yeah. I

20:54

just think it's so human to be saving someone's

20:56

life and thinking, fuck, I got get my

20:58

shirt back on before anyone looks at my belly.

21:01

The thing that kept coming to my mind was like,

21:03

we've got to cover him, like the decency of

21:05

it. He's got third degree

21:07

burns. That is not his priority. Right.

21:09

I wonder if his penis got burnt in that. I

21:11

did put it in the submission

21:13

because I thought you might be curious.

21:15

He had legitimately the largest dick

21:18

I've ever seen in entire No! Like,

21:20

no! Comparable to the

21:22

microphone. I'm glad you had the presence

21:24

of mind to just check. Or maybe it couldn't

21:26

be avoided. You couldn't have missed it. It was

21:28

front and center. And that's flaccid because he

21:30

definitely wasn't hard while he was on fire. Who

21:32

knows? Maybe fire excites. erotic. Except it seems

21:34

like the one... is actually the one that

21:37

was mad. Because his boyfriend found someone

21:39

with an even bigger penis. That feels

21:41

unlikely to give a size. That's

21:43

low probability. Wow.

21:47

Thank you for telling me that detail. Of

21:49

course. I feel so grateful to

21:51

be able to talk to you guys right

21:53

now. Three quick little shoutouts.

21:56

Is that okay? Yes, of course. Jess

21:58

and Alexa are two of my good friends

22:00

who are also huge arm cherries and

22:02

every week talking about what the

22:05

episode was, what our takeaways are. So

22:07

shout out Jess and Alexa. I

22:09

love you guys. The other one, DAX

22:11

specifically for you, I just wanted

22:13

to say thank you because my family

22:15

has been touched by addiction a

22:17

lot and it's not always in... the

22:19

media as much or in people's

22:21

forefront of their minds about recovery and

22:24

the life after. I think

22:26

it's really important to show how much after

22:28

recovery you still have to keep working at

22:30

it and it's a lifelong battle. It's not

22:32

just you recover and then you're good. It's

22:34

a bummer. It's like the gym that way.

22:36

You got to keep going. You can't get

22:38

the perfect abs and then quit. Yeah, exactly.

22:41

My cousin is fully recovered and now runs

22:43

a recovery clinic. So it's been really amazing

22:45

to see his journey and see yours as

22:47

well. And then for me personally, I actually

22:49

went through and eating disorder recovery a couple

22:51

years ago. And during

22:53

mealtime, every time is obviously

22:55

a struggle. So I would put you

22:57

guys on and have a moment to

22:59

laugh or cry or learn something. And

23:01

I got through it bite by bite

23:03

with you. So thank you so much

23:05

for that. Thank you. Did

23:07

you like the Nikki episode, Nikki Glazer? Oh,

23:10

yes, yes, yes. I love how open she

23:12

is about all that. I think it's so

23:14

important because I think everyone has... some type

23:16

of warped relationship with food. And it's not

23:18

something that I am embarrassed about at all.

23:20

I think it's so important to talk about.

23:22

So again, I just really feel grateful to

23:24

you guys for helping me on that journey.

23:27

Well, thanks, Eliza. This was a delight. Nice

23:29

meeting you. a great day. Bye. Hello,

23:33

is this Daphne? Yeah,

23:35

it is. You're in your closet. I

23:37

tried to follow the rules. Are you allowed to tell us

23:39

what state you're in? I'm in Wisconsin. Oh,

23:42

okay, great. Okay, so

23:44

you have a first responder story. I do.

23:46

So this was when I first started.

23:48

It was within my first couple of weeks

23:50

working as an EMT. So it's pretty

23:52

green. Also for a little bit of context,

23:54

when you first started, at least at

23:56

the company I worked at. There's such a

23:58

hierarchy. When you're new, you're

24:00

doing all the work nobody wants to

24:02

do. So all like cleaning up the GI

24:04

bleeds, picking up the heavy

24:06

parts of the paycheck, changing diapers,

24:08

like all the crazy stuff that people who've

24:10

been there longer don't want to do. That's

24:12

entirely on you. Can I ask what led

24:14

you to the job in the first place?

24:16

I'm a little bit curious. Mine was

24:18

a little bit untraditional. I actually

24:20

majored in philosophy, but my college job,

24:23

I was an outdoor chip leader.

24:25

So I had to get a wilderness.

24:27

responder certification and just really fell

24:29

in love with it. Amazing. So

24:31

after college I tried a couple of jobs

24:33

and nothing really stuck and I ended up going

24:35

back to get my EMT because I just

24:37

loved my first cert so much. Are you a

24:39

bit of an adrenaline junkie? I would say

24:41

so. Working in emergency you kind of have to

24:44

be but at the same time it also

24:46

tames it a little bit because you see all

24:48

the crazy shit that can happen. Yeah. I'm

24:50

like a moderate. Adrenaline junkie, I'd say.

24:52

Are you watching the pit? No, but I've

24:54

heard it's good. You're gonna it. I'm

24:56

pretty accurate. But that's like asking us if

24:58

we watch the show about podcasting. Yeah,

25:00

like Only Murders in the Building. Yes, I

25:02

have. Oh, good point. Yeah, I mean,

25:04

it's a great show. So

25:06

the partner who I was paired up

25:08

with... could tell that he had

25:11

one foot out of the door, was

25:13

ready to retire and go to

25:15

Boca and spend all his money gambling

25:17

years ago. What is the average

25:19

career expectancy? I don't feel like I

25:21

see a lot of older EMTs.

25:23

I was told that their turnaround rate

25:25

is like six months. Oh,

25:27

wow. So it's pretty quick. Also, the place

25:29

where I worked, it was... lot of people

25:31

who they were starting as an EMT, but

25:33

they wanted to go to med school or

25:35

PA school or nursing school. This was kind

25:37

of like the first step to get some

25:39

experience. Gotcha. So we get a

25:41

call and the call is super vague.

25:43

It was just for a sick person. And

25:45

that was also a red flag because

25:48

usually the more vague the chief complain is,

25:50

the more unhinged it is when you

25:52

actually get there. Oh, interesting. We go to

25:54

the apartment, the elevator

25:56

going up is. teeny tiny, like

25:58

it barely fits my partner and

26:00

I and the stretcher in there.

26:02

We get all the way up,

26:04

knock on the door, introduce ourselves,

26:06

walk in, and immediately when I

26:08

open the door, I'm hit with

26:10

this wave of just a blinding

26:12

smell. And a smell

26:15

that I had never smelled before

26:17

up until this point. Never

26:19

smelled it. Oh my God. And

26:21

it smelled like a mix

26:23

of hay, like from a horse,

26:25

hoop, sulfur. Oh. And hurt

26:28

anything. Okay. Interesting. Oh,

26:30

hay. A

26:32

horse trots out of the

26:34

bedroom. I would have

26:36

taken that over. What happened? Oh, no. So

26:38

all of a sudden we see the

26:40

patient, he stands up, he has a walker,

26:42

he's walking over. I could tell he's

26:45

walking a little funny, like his gate is

26:47

a little off, but nothing too crazy.

26:49

And he's wearing what I thought were black.

26:51

compression socks, and the lower part of

26:53

his legs looked a little different from the

26:55

rest of his body. But

26:57

who am I to judge? Right.

27:00

Is he wearing shorts? Yeah, he's wearing like

27:02

basketball shorts. And also as

27:04

he's walking over, the smell is

27:06

getting stronger. And I hear this

27:08

kind of squishing sound with each

27:10

footstep. No, no, no.

27:13

This is bringing me back to that. Bar

27:15

in Canada. I know. Oh, wow. Okay.

27:17

Do you guys remember that one? Oh

27:20

my God, no one can listen to

27:22

this. Okay. Okay, squish,

27:24

squish, squish. Different

27:26

colored legs. He's squishing his

27:28

way over. And then I go

27:30

over to help him. I

27:32

want to give him a hand.

27:34

When I get over, I

27:36

look down and I realize, oh,

27:38

those aren't compression socks. That's

27:40

completely necrotic tissue from the knee

27:42

down. His legs are dead.

27:44

Oh my God. gone. Oh, and

27:47

that squishing sound was them sloughing

27:49

off with each stuff, like tissue

27:51

coming off. Oh, my fucking this

27:53

is like as close as you

27:55

can get to discovering a zombie.

27:57

The top 75 % of his

27:59

body was a normal average Joe.

28:01

Bottom half was some shit out

28:03

of the walking dead. Okay, I

28:06

have to be honest. I thought

28:08

it was going to be that

28:10

he cut off his legs and

28:12

he put horse legs on it.

28:14

Oh, Monica, that's a

28:17

Because of the hay. And

28:19

then there's a horse in his bedroom

28:21

with human legs. He just swapped

28:23

them. It was a transplant. He wanted

28:26

to become a centaur. He was a

28:28

little mentally ill. So his fucking foot

28:30

is falling apart as he walks? Yes,

28:32

it looked like a mudslide. Every shade

28:34

of yellow. Red,

28:36

brown that you can imagine. How

28:38

old were you at this point?

28:40

21. No, you're too young

28:42

to have seen something like that. I

28:45

keep my cool. I'm not here to

28:47

judge anybody. I'm just here to get you

28:49

to the hospital safely. So I take

28:51

him to the stretcher and my partner looks

28:53

me and he's like. I'm not touching

28:56

that. And I was like, okay, I'm not

28:58

surprised. So I held him into the

29:00

stretcher and he obviously needs help getting his

29:02

lower half up. I'm trying to think

29:04

of the most gentle way to go about

29:06

this. You know, I don't want to

29:08

cause any more damage. So I go down

29:10

by his ankles and lift his legs

29:13

up. And as I do, I feel my

29:15

fingers squish into him. It felt like

29:17

jam. No! Why?

29:20

Of course, preserves. Is

29:22

their bone? The bone's not out yet, but

29:24

it doesn't look like it's that far away.

29:27

So we get back to the elevator. My

29:29

partner doesn't get into the elevator. He's like,

29:31

I'm taking the next one. You got this.

29:33

sucks. This guy's a real piece of shit.

29:35

A fucking 21 -year -old girl. I know. He

29:37

was like, deal with it. So I'm in

29:39

Boca. I'm already in Boca. Yeah,

29:42

so I'm squished between him. and

29:44

the elevator wall. Can I ask what

29:46

his demeanor is? Because I have a story

29:49

very similar to this from an ER

29:51

doctor I know who had someone get brought

29:53

in that was a shut -in and they

29:55

had a lot of necrotic flesh and

29:57

I don't think they knew they were kind

29:59

of just embarrassed. Like what was his

30:01

vibe? He was chatting

30:03

up with me. I'm trying to banter

30:05

with him a little bit, but it's

30:07

so thick and literally blinding. Like, I was

30:10

having a hard time opening my eyes.

30:12

Oh, my gosh. Did he acknowledge that his

30:14

legs were dead? verbatim, he said. Oh,

30:16

it's just a little leg pain. No big

30:18

deal. Wow. If

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That's JDSports.com and upgrade your game. We

31:21

got into the ambulance. It's

31:23

a hot summer day. And also this

31:25

ambulance has no air conditioning, no ventilation,

31:27

nothing. And my partner, of course, has

31:30

me sit in the back with him

31:32

and closes the only window between the

31:34

front and the back. Oh, boy. I'm

31:36

trying to bandage this up, trying to

31:38

do anything to make him more comfortable,

31:40

but it's just soaking through. Nothing's working.

31:42

He needs extensive wound care. We just

31:44

need to get on the road and

31:46

get him to a hospital. And of

31:48

course, he wants the one that's the

31:51

farthest away from where we are. And

31:53

in the ambulance, ride over, amulets have

31:55

no suspension at all, and we're going

31:57

on the highway. And this

31:59

is oozing. The amount of liquid

32:01

that's coming out was insane. So

32:04

I'm just being jostled

32:06

around. It's splashing everywhere. It

32:08

felt like being at a water park

32:10

that I did not sign up for.

32:12

Oh my god. And can you wear

32:14

a hazmat suit? Looking back, I probably

32:16

should have, but at that point, I

32:18

don't think I even knew where those

32:20

were, the ambulance. You might have been

32:23

a little disassociated, like, let's just get

32:25

through this. Yeah, it's just everybody fluid,

32:27

you can imagine, plus chunks of tissue.

32:29

No! Don't say

32:31

chunks! I'm trying all

32:33

the tricks for the smell, too. At that

32:35

point, the smell was the least of it, but

32:37

I was sticking alcohol pads in my mask

32:39

and rubbing hand sanitizer on the outside, just trying

32:41

to do anything while also still trying to

32:43

be discreet, because I'm not trying to make This

32:46

guy feel bad about himself. He's already going

32:48

through it. I'm just like, okay, this is my

32:50

life for the next app. I would have

32:52

said no you're going to the one down the

32:54

road. I wish we could but I think

32:56

at that point it technically would have been like

32:58

medical kidnapping or something like that. I feel

33:00

like take them where they don't want to go.

33:03

Okay. So we get to the hospital finally

33:05

and we roll him in and we're doing the

33:07

handoff report to the nurses. We're talking to

33:09

them. My partner finally comes in like puffing his

33:11

chest, giving a report like he did everything. As

33:14

he's giving a report I

33:16

noticed he's starting to pause between

33:18

words and then his face

33:20

is starting to get really red

33:22

and then he starts going

33:25

he runs into the hallway and

33:27

vomits everywhere and completely misses

33:29

the trash can. We

33:31

do the handoff that's done

33:34

I walk into the hallway

33:36

there's vomit everywhere and there's

33:38

tracks from the wheels of

33:40

our stretcher, like bits of

33:42

leg and blood and blood.

33:44

This is like SARS or

33:46

something. Wow. Do you ever

33:49

get any follow up on what happens to

33:51

these people? Like, do you see the

33:53

ER people a month later and go like,

33:55

what happened? Yeah. I didn't do that

33:57

with this guy. I have however seen patients

33:59

in the wild before after taking care

34:01

of them and that's always crazy. Do you

34:03

say hi? You don't say hi. I

34:05

don't say hi, but there was this one

34:07

guy who had his throat slit and

34:09

he didn't want to go to the hospital

34:11

and he was bleeding out of his

34:14

eyes, ears, nose and I was like, you

34:16

have to go. but he refused,

34:18

and he was his own person mentally, so

34:20

there's nothing he could do. And I saw

34:22

him biking like three weeks later. Oh, so

34:24

he made the right call. Wow. Wow, that's

34:26

good. They call that AMA against medical

34:28

advice. You learned how to pay it. Yeah,

34:31

yeah, you have to sign a form.

34:33

It's very official, but I spent the

34:35

next three hours cleaning out the hallway.

34:37

You had to clean it? You're

34:40

a good person. Oh, you're an angel.

34:42

What about the puke? Did Homeboy clean up

34:44

his own puke? Yes. And then with

34:46

the ambulance, there was no equipment or anything

34:48

for me to use. So I was

34:50

just wiping that up with paper towel, disinfectant

34:52

wipes. Yeah, you got to call

34:55

dispatch and go like, hey, we need about an

34:57

hour to clean up. And we need to

34:59

blow up this ambulance. And we need to fire

35:01

Mike and send him to fucking Boca. I

35:03

can't believe you didn't quit your job after that.

35:05

I came close. I thought about it, but

35:07

you kind of know what you're getting into. I

35:09

mean, do you? I imagine you

35:11

think like, I'm going to show up

35:13

and someone's legs are going be falling

35:15

off real time. That's really out of

35:17

a - Someone will cut off their

35:19

legs and put horse legs on it.

35:21

Right, a horse transplant. Who could be

35:23

ready for that? I wouldn't put a

35:25

pass somebody. Our last question, because when

35:27

we interviewed nurses, they all have a

35:29

form body and rectum story. Did you

35:31

respond to any of those? Yes. Oh,

35:33

wow, two first. I've seen a wine

35:35

bottle. Oh, wow. With the

35:37

corker without. I don't know because I

35:40

didn't take it out. Okay, yeah. It's gotta

35:42

be empty, I would guess. There's three

35:44

options. There's a wine bottle corked. There's an

35:46

empty wine bottle and there's a wine

35:48

bottle. They're like, you drank some and then

35:50

you put the stopper in. That seems

35:52

craziest to me because the fluid could pop

35:54

up. Yeah, maybe that's what they like.

35:56

Yeah, it's kind of a two for one

35:58

deal. Maybe they put a champagne bottle

36:00

in there, then you pop the cork and

36:02

it explodes right when Oh, that's kind

36:04

of... That sounds divine cool. I

36:06

haven't seen that yet. But someone did

36:08

have a wine bottle and you put

36:11

them face down on the stretcher, I

36:13

guess? We had them on their side,

36:15

face down technically. It's like a airway

36:17

issue. Did they make any explanation as

36:19

to what had happened or no? Just

36:21

I need to go to the hospital.

36:23

I feel like people either really overcompensate

36:25

for it and try to say like,

36:27

I was cleaning and I tripped and

36:29

I fell. There's a Sideris story about

36:31

the people say they tripped and fell

36:33

and he's like, I'm so clumsy. I've

36:35

fallen down naked many times, never stood

36:37

up and there was a candle in my

36:39

ass. Not

36:41

one. What's the second version? They're

36:43

just silent because they know

36:45

that you know. That's best. Are

36:48

you done with that line of work? No, so

36:50

I'm still doing it now. So I work

36:52

in an emergency room and I started nursing school

36:54

this fall. Oh, great. I can't wait for you

36:56

to watch the pit. You're gonna

36:58

love it. Well, Daphne,

37:00

this was a delight. This is among the

37:02

very worst stories we've heard. What an

37:04

accomplishment. I'm so glad. Well, thank you so

37:06

much for your time and for having

37:08

me. Can I give a quick shout out?

37:11

Of course. We love shout outs. Shout

37:13

out Caroline, Tate, and Emily, my

37:15

three favorite people. I love them so much.

37:17

And to you guys, I just want to say

37:20

that sometimes when you work in this field, the

37:22

drive home can be kind of tough. If you

37:24

have a bad day, that's kind of when you

37:26

start like reflecting and. things can feel a little

37:28

heavy. So whenever that happens, I always put on

37:30

armchair to make you feel so much better. So

37:32

I just want to thank you guys for

37:34

bringing some levity to that. I can't take

37:36

that in knowing what you've done for the

37:39

world. I'm going to take it. I'm choosing

37:41

today to take it. My self -esteem is

37:43

good. Wow. And I'm going to go, all

37:45

right, that's great. Well, thank you. This is

37:47

a real barn burner, as we say. High

37:50

watermark for armchair anonymous. Nice

37:52

meeting you. a great day.

37:54

Likewise. Bye. You

37:56

should do a prom, tell us about

37:58

your favorite episode of the pit, or

38:00

ER. It'll be me calling into every

38:03

single episode. You know, that drive back

38:05

is, I think, intense, because Che Che,

38:07

the four -year -old who died of AIDS.

38:09

On the show. George Clooney and

38:11

a woman medical student, they were

38:13

the ones dealing with Che Che,

38:16

and then he died, and then

38:18

they had to have sex to

38:20

feel better. Okay, I understand. Yeah. Hello,

38:23

can you hear me? Oh, yes.

38:25

Is this Grant? This is me. Where

38:27

are you from, Grant? I'm from Boston

38:29

area. We like the Boston area. Yeah.

38:31

Do you know Ben and Matt? Ben

38:33

and Matt now. Okay. I don't. He

38:35

doesn't even know who you're referencing. know.

38:37

I'm sorry. I don't. I don't. Matt

38:40

Damon and Ben Halfleck. Oh, yeah. They're

38:42

my neighbors, actually. Oh, cool. Now that

38:44

you have the last name, it makes

38:46

sense. So you have a first responder

38:48

story. Yes. I hope it's okay. So

38:50

I was working as an EMT out in

38:52

a rural area. I was a college student

38:54

out there and working on the side. And

38:57

just to sort of lay the ground for

38:59

this area, there's a regional hospital that has

39:01

like an ED, but not like a trauma

39:03

center or anything. And then 30 minutes away,

39:05

there's more of a trauma center. But I

39:07

was working one day and we got a

39:09

call from the hospital that said they need

39:11

to help moving someone from the parking lot

39:13

into the hospital. Hospitals have rules where they

39:15

can't move people. But anyways, we go up

39:17

and we find this woman sitting on an

39:19

ATV and two things sort of stood out

39:21

to me right away. One is that the

39:23

ATV is perfectly parked. And I just think

39:25

that that's really impressive. There

39:27

is some blood coming down her leg. And

39:29

as soon as we show up, she's

39:31

like, I'm so sorry that they called you.

39:33

I'm sure somebody else is dying. You

39:35

guys should go take care of someone else

39:37

first. We're like, no, it's fine. Tell

39:39

us what happened. She's wearing really tight, skinny

39:41

jeans. We're exposing her leg, trying to

39:43

figure out where the bleeding is coming from.

39:45

And she said she was riding up

39:47

on mountain range close by with her boyfriend

39:49

when they flipped over the ATV. Both

39:52

got hurt. got back on the ETV and

39:54

rode it at least half an hour

39:56

down presumably some trail and then the road

39:58

to get to the hospital. As she's

40:00

telling the story, we expose her leg and

40:02

she has this open fracture of her

40:04

fibula and tibula on her leg. The bone

40:06

has basically pierced the skin. That's

40:08

a bad injury. Yeah, fuck.

40:10

You can bleed out. Your body's

40:12

opened up to the world at that

40:14

point. Exactly. Oh, that's the nightmare.

40:16

Seeing your bone stick out of your

40:18

leg. She didn't

40:20

realize that she was wearing tight jeans, but she's

40:22

still got all the way there with the

40:24

bone sticking out of her leg. So we are

40:27

like, okay, this is not very hospitable for

40:29

you. We're gonna have to take you somewhere else.

40:31

We're like loading her into the ambulance and

40:33

she's like, please, I'll call a taxi. I'll call

40:35

a friend to take me. Somebody else is

40:37

dying and you need to go save them. Like

40:39

I'm sure somebody else is dying. I'm sure

40:41

you guys have more important things to do. I

40:43

should be last on the list. And we're

40:45

like, no, your bones sticking out of your leg.

40:47

This is a completely reasonable reason for an

40:49

ambulance. We can take you. We eventually minster, get

40:51

her in the ambulance, rush her down to

40:53

the main hospital, and on the way for each

40:56

bump we're hitting, she's like dropping expletives. After

40:58

each time, she's like, pardon my French. I'm so

41:00

sorry that I swore. Is she a nun

41:02

or something? Like, what's going on? Yeah. We're like,

41:04

for all you want, you have a bone

41:06

sticking out of your body. That's, I'm sure, incredibly

41:08

painful. And the paramedics, you know, giving her

41:10

pain meds, but they only. do so much at

41:12

that dose. Throughout the drive, she's truly like,

41:14

you can pull over on the side. I'll call

41:16

a taxi. This is why

41:18

we get her to the hospital. We drop her

41:20

off and she's like, thank you so much. I'll

41:22

find you after I'll take you out to lunch.

41:24

I'll give you guys ice cream or something. Thank

41:26

you for taking time out of your day. We

41:29

get paid for this. You're welcome. I

41:31

need the hospital just in awe

41:33

because typically we have people that

41:35

don't really need an ambulance. The

41:37

opposite situation. Yeah. And so

41:39

I tell absolutely everybody. about this amazing

41:41

patient that I had. I'm like, she

41:43

is the best patient I've ever had

41:45

for all these reasons. Not to mention

41:47

she parked perfectly. Impressive

41:50

parking skills. And the boyfriend was nowhere to

41:52

be found. I think he broke his shoulder so

41:54

he could walk into the ED. So he

41:56

walked in and was like, my girlfriend can't walk

41:58

in. Can someone go help her? So anyways,

42:00

that was over the summer. People come back. I'm

42:02

still telling people about this best patient that

42:04

I've ever had. And I'm reading the newspaper a

42:06

couple months later in the fall. And

42:09

there's been a murder in the town.

42:11

And I'm like, oh, that's interesting. Obviously, I'm

42:13

going to click on that. And I'm

42:15

reading. And it's like, so -and -so has been murdered. So

42:18

-and -so is in custody. No. And they

42:20

show a photo in the name. And

42:22

I'm like, why do I recognize that person?

42:25

And the person the photo is in a wheelchair. Like,

42:28

that's my best patient. That's

42:30

my best patient that

42:32

is being accused of

42:34

murdering her grandmother on

42:36

Halloween. with a

42:38

paperweight and scissors for a

42:40

million dollars in inheritance money.

42:43

No. This

42:45

is such a left turn. Oh

42:47

my God, biggest left turn ever.

42:50

She was probably apologizing when she killed

42:52

her. I'm so sorry. I really

42:54

want a million dollars. I was shocked.

42:56

Oh my God. crazy. Was

42:58

she in a wheelchair from that

43:00

event with the leg? Presumably. Yeah, she

43:02

broke. Her leg and half. Or

43:05

do you think she did it on

43:07

purpose to sue the ATV company?

43:09

Oh, wow. You think she's just

43:11

trying to get some money? wild?

43:13

She murdered her grandma. First

43:15

of all, she has not been found

43:17

guilty. She's pleading not guilty. So just

43:19

to be clear. So this is all

43:21

alleged. It's one article said that there

43:23

is evidence of a second person's DNA.

43:25

So it could be a tag team.

43:27

Maybe the boy friend. Yeah, the broken

43:30

shoulder. Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly she killed her

43:32

for the inheritance for... which also makes

43:34

me think maybe she got an opioid

43:36

addiction from the injury itself. Or

43:38

she was on opiates. They were fucked up,

43:40

which is why she was kind of handling

43:42

it so well. And was able to ride

43:44

on it. That's something that I didn't consider.

43:47

Wow. Are you at all considering going to

43:49

the trial? No, because you don't live

43:51

out there anymore? Yeah, I don't live out

43:53

there anymore. But I feel like I'm

43:55

going to leave her my best. No, we

43:57

need to know. I'd be so intrigued

43:59

to find out what's going on with this

44:01

person. Why is she so nigh? Boy,

44:03

when they say like you never know, she

44:05

would be the last person you would

44:07

have guessed. I mean, I sat there in

44:09

the library of shocks. This is the

44:11

person that I've been telling everybody about. Yes,

44:13

your hero. Truly. And I'm still looking

44:15

for a new best patient. Nobody has fulfilled

44:17

that yet. Wow. Murder.

44:20

Boy, I did not see that coming.

44:22

The nicest murder. Delicious. That's what

44:24

they'll call the doc. The date line.

44:26

America's sweetheart murderer. This would be

44:28

a good date line, correct? Yeah, hopefully

44:30

they'll interview you. You really got...

44:32

take an advantage of a little bit.

44:35

That's not the word. You really

44:37

got tricked. Fooled. Fooled. Fooled. You got

44:39

fooled. Are you still in

44:41

the EMT game? I actually just lost my

44:43

license at the start of April because it

44:45

expired, not because of anything that I did. Right.

44:49

Are you going to re -up? I'm in med

44:51

school now, so I will be getting a different

44:53

degree. Wow. Yeah. Well, thanks for that story.

44:55

That was wild. Thank you for having me. Have

44:57

a great rest of your day. All right.

44:59

Take care. I forgot to ask

45:01

him if he's watched the pit. I can't

45:04

believe you did. Oh my god. One slip through.

45:06

Are you chomping at the bit to go

45:08

home and watch E .R. in the pit? Obviously.

45:10

I think actually tonight is the

45:12

finale of the pit. Oh my god.

45:15

That's so interesting. They're doing regular

45:17

drops for that show. I hate it,

45:19

but I love it. We have

45:21

a mixed feeling about the delayed. I,

45:23

there's a, yeah, we'll it. We'll

45:25

save this for the, yeah. All

45:27

right. Love you. Do

45:31

want to sing a

45:33

tune or something? We don't

45:35

have a thing, so

45:37

for this new show, so

45:39

here I go, go,

45:41

go. We're gonna ask some

45:43

random questions and with

45:45

the help of Armchair, he's

45:47

booking some suggestions. On

45:51

the Fire Rhine Dish. On

45:53

the Fire Rhine Dish. Enjoy.

46:00

Amazon Music, or wherever you get your

46:03

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46:05

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46:07

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46:13

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46:15

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46:18

At 24, I lost my narrative,

46:20

or rather it was stolen

46:22

from me. And the Monica Lewinsky

46:25

that my friends and family

46:27

knew was usurped by false narratives,

46:29

callous jokes, and politics. I

46:31

would define reclaiming as to

46:33

take back what was yours. Something

46:35

you possess is lost or

46:38

stolen. And ultimately, you triumph in

46:40

finding it again. So I

46:42

think listeners can expect me to

46:44

be chatting with folks both

46:46

recognizable and unrecognizable names about the

46:48

way that people have navigated

46:50

roads to triumph. My hope

46:52

is that people will finish an episode

46:54

of reclaiming and feel like they filled

46:56

their tank up. They connected with the

46:58

people that I'm talking to and leave

47:01

with maybe some nuggets that help them

47:03

feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming

47:05

with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app

47:07

or wherever you get your podcasts. You

47:09

can listen to Reclaiming early and ad

47:11

-free right now by joining Wondery Plus

47:13

in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.