0:03

Hello everyone. Oh, I am

0:05

so glad that you're with

0:07

us today. My guest today

0:10

is Serena and she is

0:12

so lovable and adorable and

0:14

so us. She bought this

0:16

vase. She has been just

0:18

loving for so long. She

0:20

finally went back to the

0:23

shop and bought it and

0:25

brought it home and loves

0:27

it. And her husband said,

0:29

the vase looks like dragon

0:31

skin. and it shifted. It

0:33

shifted her love for the

0:36

vase. With the ego, with the

0:38

ego throw around, I don't want

0:40

you to miss, welcome to the

0:42

work, welcome to the work with

0:45

Serena on is love what we

0:47

think and believe it to be,

0:49

and can the ego actually shift

0:52

that. So play with that and

0:54

with that in mind, miss me.

0:56

Serena. Hello,

0:59

dears. Hello. Oh, my

1:02

goodness. Oh, my goodness.

1:05

You are my treasure.

1:07

What do I mean by

1:09

that? But I'm

1:11

thinking and believing

1:13

about you. It just

1:16

fills me with delight.

1:18

Those of you new to

1:20

the work today, the work

1:23

is a way to

1:25

identify. the

1:27

cause of your suffering, the

1:29

cause of all your suffering

1:32

in any given moment

1:34

in time, and how to move

1:37

the thoughts you're thinking

1:39

from your head to

1:41

paper. And then we question those

1:43

thoughts. So there is all the,

1:46

oh, so depressed, I am so

1:48

this, I'm so dead, I'm so

1:50

hurt, I'm so angry, and oh

1:53

good. It's like. Oh my goodness,

1:55

I can move the thoughts. I'm

1:57

thinking from my head to paper.

2:00

and then I'm gonna question

2:02

them. Everything I'm

2:04

thinking and believing could

2:07

be true, I don't

2:09

know. Obviously I'm believing

2:11

in some kind of way

2:13

or I wouldn't be feeling

2:16

like this. This stress, this

2:18

separation, this sadness,

2:21

this depression, whatever

2:23

those emotions, whatever

2:25

those emotions might

2:27

be. So I move them from

2:30

my head to paper because

2:32

there's the cause of my

2:34

suffering there, my emotional. And why

2:36

I say what I say and

2:38

do what I do, it all

2:40

shows up there. And then

2:42

I question those thoughts. I

2:45

question those thoughts. I move

2:47

my attention to what I was

2:49

thinking and believing in

2:52

that situation that I'm...

2:55

Hmm, contemplating that's

2:58

driving me crazy.

3:00

Or hurting me. There are

3:02

the books right there on

3:04

paper, and then I question

3:07

them. So that's what we

3:09

do here. Those have you knew

3:11

to the work. I don't expect

3:14

you to follow it, but

3:16

you know, this is, for

3:18

me, this is love making.

3:20

It's, you know, when you

3:22

have something. Precious.

3:25

You just want to share it.

3:27

It's like, this little girl I

3:29

worked with, she was like four or

3:31

five years old, and we did

3:34

the work on her mommy, you

3:36

know, just one thing she was

3:38

believing about her mommy, and she

3:41

put her hands on her little

3:43

hips, and she said, well, why

3:45

didn't someone tell me it was

3:48

so simple? So

3:51

I think we're all children and when

3:54

it comes to we're believing our thoughts

3:56

and that's the cause of our emotional

3:58

and the things we... say and

4:00

do when we're hurt or

4:03

angry, depressed, feeling misunderstood. Serena,

4:05

honey, you have a question

4:08

or a worksheet? Hi, Katie.

4:10

Hi, Serena. And I have

4:12

a judge your name, a

4:15

worksheet. Okay, so read number

4:17

one. Okay. Those of you

4:20

new to the work, the

4:22

worksheet is, I call it

4:24

a judge or neighbor worksheet,

4:27

because, you know, That's what

4:29

the eagle loves to do

4:32

is judge other people in

4:34

situations So there are six

4:36

questions on the worksheet and

4:39

Serena has filled in she's

4:41

answered those questions So read

4:44

what you wrote for number

4:46

one. Okay, um I'm saddened

4:48

with my vase because it

4:51

looks like dragon skin Okay,

4:53

and and with your what?

4:56

vase a vase Like

4:59

you, something you put. Flowers in?

5:01

Hours in? Okay. So you're saddened

5:03

with your base because it looks

5:05

like. Dragon skin. Okay. So what

5:08

is the situation? Okay. So I

5:10

can even see it in my

5:12

mind's eye. I'm trying to picture.

5:14

So what is the situation when

5:17

you're... Last week I bought a

5:19

beautiful vase from a Moroccan store.

5:21

and I'd seen it in the

5:23

store the week before and it

5:26

was expensive and it was my

5:28

birthday and I thought I'm just

5:30

gonna buy this phase. I loved

5:32

it, I bought it home, my

5:34

mom came over and gave me

5:37

flowers and we put it in

5:39

the vase and we walked around

5:41

the vase in the sunlight and

5:43

I looked at all the green

5:46

detail and I just love this

5:48

vase, it's timeless, I've never bought

5:50

one before, I'm gonna love this

5:52

forever. And I was just, yeah,

5:55

just in love with love with

5:57

it, with it, with it. that

5:59

evening. I said again to

6:01

my husband, geez, I love

6:03

this phase, and we're about

6:06

to go to bed, and

6:08

he said, had a look

6:10

on his face, and I said,

6:13

do you not like it?

6:15

And he said, oh, it

6:17

looks like dragon skin.

6:19

And in that moment,

6:21

all I could see

6:23

is dragon skin. And

6:25

I didn't love, I

6:27

just, I didn't like

6:29

it. It's beautiful I

6:31

think and then someone interjects

6:34

and they see it and

6:36

all of a sudden we

6:38

see you know it's like

6:40

the the the vase hasn't

6:42

shifted it's like what you're

6:44

thinking and believing about the

6:47

vase so so he says

6:49

he says that and then

6:51

do you go in to

6:53

look at the vase again

6:55

yeah we were in the room

6:57

with the vase and I looked

7:00

at it and I

7:02

just straight away I

7:04

said I hate it I

7:07

want to return it.

7:09

All I can see I

7:11

said you're right it

7:14

looks like dragon

7:16

skin. And then it

7:19

could be you know

7:21

who knows? Then a dragon?

7:23

in my mind. Yeah, and

7:25

have you ever, you know,

7:27

have you been to amuse

7:29

them and seen a dragon?

7:31

I mean, do they even

7:34

exist? I mean, just dragon

7:36

skin. So it's good like,

7:38

reminds me of a myth,

7:40

of a myth, of a

7:42

myth. Yes. And I have

7:44

no context for, but it

7:46

doesn't, it doesn't, that's meaningless

7:48

to my ego. It looks

7:50

like dragon skin. Okay,

7:53

sweetie, so,

7:55

so, uh, the

7:57

base, look.

8:00

like dragon skin. Look again, you're there

8:02

with your husband, he said what

8:04

he said, he said it looks like

8:06

dragon skin. And

8:08

then you're looking at

8:10

it. It

8:12

looks like dragon skin. You

8:15

look at it. Is

8:17

it true? No.

8:26

Okay, so just feel that,

8:28

keep looking at the vase. Now

8:36

notice, when

8:38

your husband said it

8:40

looked like dragon skin, again,

8:42

notice what your ego

8:44

did with that. Notice how

8:46

you reacted with an

8:48

object you love and adore.

8:53

Notice what your ego

8:55

did with that when

8:57

he said the vase

9:00

looks like dragon skin.

9:02

Again, witness

9:04

the ego shift that

9:06

vase. Notice the

9:09

images of past and

9:11

future. When

9:15

you loved it and then

9:17

you looked again and it's

9:19

oh look, I want to

9:21

return it. Notice

9:25

in that situation, your

9:27

heart's desire just, the

9:32

ego just

9:34

obliterated it.

9:37

It's value.

9:42

Value it was to you. Okay,

9:45

now continue looking at the vase.

9:47

Your husband said it looks like dragon

9:49

skin. Now continue looking at the

9:52

vase. And

9:54

without the thought, it looks like

9:56

dragon skin. Look

9:59

again. What do you

10:01

see? And in question

10:03

four, those of you knew

10:06

to the word, don't try

10:08

to manipulate what you

10:11

see. Just drop

10:13

the thought. It looks like

10:15

dragon skin. And

10:17

who are you without

10:20

the thought? What is

10:22

the face without your

10:24

thought? It looks like

10:26

dragon skin? I see

10:28

the color. and

10:30

the texture and

10:33

the light shining

10:35

on it. And the

10:37

color of the glaze,

10:40

how it changes in

10:42

the light and the

10:45

fingerprint

10:47

marks where

10:50

someone's pinched

10:52

the edges of

10:54

the clay. History

11:04

in the making. Showing

11:07

through your eyes.

11:09

The face looks

11:11

like dragon's skin.

11:14

How would you

11:16

turn that around?

11:18

The face doesn't

11:21

look like

11:23

dragon's skin.

11:25

Okay, see if you

11:27

can see evidence.

11:31

Even though you thought

11:33

it did, even though

11:35

he thinks it does.

11:37

Or even though he

11:40

may think it does,

11:42

he could just be

11:44

shooting from the hip

11:47

there just at first

11:49

glance. But who are

11:52

you without the thought?

11:54

It looks like

11:57

dragon's skin. Open

12:01

your mind and the

12:03

vase is the vase.

12:05

It's... I just see

12:07

it as something beautiful.

12:10

Your treasure. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

12:12

So the vase looks

12:14

like dragon skin turned

12:16

around. It looks like

12:19

something beautiful. Give me

12:21

an example, give me

12:23

another example, you can

12:25

see where it looks

12:28

like someone's pinched it

12:30

and as they were

12:32

making it and producing

12:34

it. Yeah, it looks

12:37

like, it looks like

12:39

a vase. It looks

12:41

like something someone's spent

12:43

a long time making,

12:46

put care and effort

12:48

into, something that I

12:50

can put my flowers

12:52

in. Yeah, now include,

12:55

it looks like dragon

12:57

skin, if it's still,

12:59

if there's still any

13:01

evidence, you know, don't

13:04

exclude it, we're not

13:06

using here, where, you

13:08

know, where, this is...

13:10

It actually looks like,

13:13

maybe more like crocodile

13:15

skin, where there's ridges

13:17

on it. and

13:21

in the just certain

13:23

colors it goes in

13:25

my mind between dragon

13:28

it doesn't look like

13:30

dragon skin it looks

13:32

like maybe more like

13:35

maybe crocodile skin if

13:37

anything. It's strange because

13:39

in my mind it

13:42

it looks like the

13:44

vase and then there's

13:46

this layering over the

13:49

top. of storytelling. And

13:51

I can't shift that,

13:53

it's just staying with

13:55

me. They're done. You

13:58

know how we put

14:00

flowers in a vase?

14:02

That vase is the

14:05

flower. It's like opening

14:07

your mind all kinds

14:09

of wonder. Maybe that's

14:12

what you recognized

14:14

in the first place.

14:16

Unique. And when I looked,

14:19

I started a worksheet on

14:21

this and when I looked

14:24

at it, again, I could

14:26

see like a little face

14:28

in it. And I thought

14:31

it looked

14:35

magical. Like

14:38

it changed.

14:41

Wow. No.

14:43

Art of

14:45

that. Art

14:48

of that.

14:50

Art of

14:52

that. Art

14:55

of that.

14:58

You're having

15:00

company and

15:02

anyone says

15:05

oh, that's that's

15:08

quite a base

15:10

or oh, that's

15:12

odd or say

15:14

what do you

15:16

see? Yes Yeah

15:18

You can start

15:21

collecting like the

15:23

versatility of that

15:25

Yeah there's something

15:27

it does it

15:29

just how it

15:31

changed on me

15:33

and a few

15:36

times it's started

15:38

to change that yeah

15:41

it's it's like

15:43

subjective art maybe

15:46

wow yeah there it is

15:48

truly subject I

15:51

wonder if it how

15:53

many mornings you when

15:55

you get up and

15:58

pass it on. I would

16:00

like to get to that point

16:02

because of it where your mind

16:05

will go and give it credit

16:07

for being there to open your

16:09

mind to. That's where I would

16:11

like to get to that point

16:14

because I do walk past it. It's

16:16

been about a week and I walk

16:18

past it and I walk past

16:20

it and I at the

16:22

corner of my eye I

16:24

don't really want to look

16:26

at it because I'm like

16:29

it still looks like dragon

16:31

skin. I don't know. I

16:33

want to love it. I

16:35

can see, I can

16:38

see, I know

16:40

there's something beautiful.

16:43

Yeah. Whereas the

16:46

power to shift

16:48

your, to shift

16:51

your, your mind,

16:53

that's, you know, art

16:56

challenging art.

17:01

The face

17:03

looks like

17:06

dragon's skin

17:09

turned around.

17:12

The face looks

17:15

like... Try

17:18

everything. My

17:20

vase looks

17:23

like everything.

17:26

Every... Everything

17:29

that occurs to

17:31

your mind, everything

17:33

that occurs to

17:36

your husband's mind,

17:38

everything that occurs

17:40

to you. Wow,

17:43

I like that.

17:45

Looks like everything.

17:47

I had the thought, it

17:49

looks like everything,

17:52

everything that I

17:54

do. I do personally to everything

17:56

and everyone. I put a story

17:59

onto them. them on to

18:01

what I see. Like

18:03

a metaphor for that.

18:05

And the way we

18:07

see people the same

18:09

way. Yeah. You know,

18:11

we love them when

18:13

they give us what

18:15

we want and we're

18:17

not so sure when

18:19

they don't. Especially after

18:21

all we've done for

18:23

them. Yeah. I also

18:25

thought it looks like

18:27

everything I, I do,

18:30

every story I put

18:32

on myself. I think

18:34

something and I think

18:36

dragon's skin, not good

18:38

enough, not. Yeah. All

18:40

of that. Looking in

18:42

the mirror, I'm too

18:44

fat, I'm too thin,

18:46

I'm too old, I'm

18:48

not old enough, I'm...

18:50

Absolutely, yeah. With my

18:52

skin, my hair, you

18:54

just name any object,

18:56

any of you, and

18:58

just wait, and the

19:00

ego is going to

19:02

name it. That's personal,

19:04

it's happening, ego is

19:06

a state of mind,

19:08

it's not a thing.

19:10

Let's look at number

19:12

two in that situation.

19:14

With your husband and

19:16

the vase looks like

19:18

dragon scan, what do

19:20

you want? I want

19:22

my vase to look

19:24

beautiful again. Okay, be

19:26

there now. Your husband

19:29

said it looks like

19:31

dragon scan. You want

19:33

the vase to look

19:35

beautiful again. To your

19:37

eyes, is it true?

19:39

Or would you prefer

19:41

a green with them?

19:43

You prefer just like

19:45

a like a like

19:47

a like a Like

19:49

he's this lightning that

19:51

flashes and all your

19:53

attention goes over there

19:55

to that. How do

19:57

you react? What happens

19:59

when you think the

20:01

thought, I want my base

20:03

to look beautiful again? No,

20:05

I go back to that first question.

20:07

You want your, you want

20:10

your base to look beautiful

20:12

again. Your husband says that

20:14

it's, looks like, dragon's again.

20:16

Okay, now look at the base as though,

20:18

as though it's the base that you fell

20:20

in love with in the shop. Because

20:22

it hasn't changed. Because it

20:25

hasn't changed. Because it hasn't

20:27

changed. Because it hasn't changed.

20:30

Mm-hmm. Same vase. The

20:32

same vase. You want

20:34

the vase to look

20:36

beautiful again? In that

20:38

situation, is it true?

20:41

Is that what you

20:43

want or are you

20:46

trying to see it?

20:48

Your husband's way? Notice

20:50

anything there. Is it

20:53

true? You want to

20:55

see the vase look

20:57

beautiful again? It's a

21:00

trick. Yes. Um. Try this.

21:02

Try this on. It's too

21:04

late. He already said what

21:06

he said. He ruined. He

21:08

ruined my favorite face for

21:11

me. It'll never be the

21:13

same. And it's all that

21:15

I'm going to take it

21:17

back to the shop. Without

21:19

the blaming him. I said,

21:21

you're right, it's true. I

21:24

just wish you didn't say

21:26

that because that's all I

21:28

can see and yeah, I

21:30

want to take it back

21:32

to the shop. But it's true,

21:34

I, yeah, in that moment, I do.

21:37

I'm under your spell, the

21:39

spell, you asked when you

21:41

said, oh, looks like a

21:44

dragon's skin. You know, that's

21:46

what people do as we

21:48

listening to people, they're casting

21:50

spells. But I'm responsible for

21:53

seeing the difference between

21:55

a spell being cast

21:57

or people aren't casting

21:59

those. spells on purpose.

22:01

It's just that it's

22:04

an it's an ego's world

22:06

until you wake up to

22:08

to what isn't, isn't, you

22:11

know, what is the heart

22:13

and what is the ego.

22:15

What is real and what

22:18

is imagined? So looking

22:20

at the face, we should

22:22

be without the thought.

22:24

I want the face

22:26

to look beautiful again.

22:30

I would just love the vase.

22:32

Without the thought I would be,

22:34

I would just be looking at

22:36

it just for what it

22:38

is, including the dragon's skin

22:40

that I can see. Yeah, it

22:43

is what people see it to

22:45

be. And it'll never be more

22:47

or less than that. People

22:50

can change their opinion,

22:52

but they're just seeing

22:54

it differently. We're

23:00

certainly looking at why people

23:03

prefer one piece of art

23:05

and not the other, et

23:07

cetera, et cetera, or this

23:10

human, the way they look,

23:12

as opposed to that one.

23:15

And, you know, the ego,

23:17

the ego's job is to

23:20

live as physical identity.

23:22

And so, you know, I

23:25

can't afford to sleep. Because

23:27

it wakes up to reality.

23:30

Yeah.

23:34

Yeah.

23:38

Yeah.

23:42

It's

23:49

value.

24:02

You know, people

24:05

specifically buy things

24:07

as, like, to

24:10

look different, to be different. You

24:14

know, like art, one person

24:16

loves it, the other person goes,

24:18

oh, my God, what is that? You're

24:20

going to put that in your,

24:22

in your room. Okay. So, I want

24:24

my vase to look beautiful again.

24:26

I don't want my vase to look

24:28

beautiful again. I want it to

24:30

look just the way it is, eyes

24:32

of the beholder. And you never

24:34

know how you're going to see it

24:36

from morning to morning or evening to

24:38

evening. That's quite a

24:40

vase you've got. Yeah,

24:44

I like that. I

24:49

like that it changed

24:51

on me so quickly that,

24:53

that means it

24:55

can change again. Oh, yes,

24:58

oh yeah,

25:00

yeah, yeah, yeah,

25:02

you never know what the eagle

25:04

is going to jump onto when someone

25:06

speaks of your vase as they

25:08

see. And

25:13

I love you have the option

25:15

to take it back, you know, for

25:18

all you know, it's served its purpose,

25:20

brought a lot of laughter and

25:22

you might consider your husband, taking your

25:24

husband, or taking a picture of

25:26

it and sending it to your husband,

25:28

so what do you think about

25:30

this before I buy it? You might

25:32

be able to save me a

25:34

trip because your opinion and fluency is

25:38

beyond the point where I can't, I

25:40

can't help it. It's,

25:43

that's something, when I

25:46

buy things, I often get my

25:48

son because I'll buy a pair of shoes

25:50

and then he might say they look like

25:52

Ronald McDonald or, and then I'm like, oh, I

25:56

should have thought of that.

25:58

Yeah, I've got to think of

26:00

the clothes I wear. before my children

26:02

see me, and

26:04

my grandchildren, it's

26:06

like. Everyone's opinion.

26:08

Yeah, they'll never,

26:10

they won't take

26:12

me anywhere if

26:14

I don't have

26:16

whatever that dress

26:18

coat is, and

26:20

I don't know

26:22

privy to you.

26:25

Okay, let's look at

26:27

three. In that situation.

26:30

situation to get what

26:32

you want that they should.

26:34

So I wrote my vase

26:36

shouldn't look like

26:39

dragon skin. Is

26:41

it true? Look at it

26:43

again. That's a that's

26:46

that's some work of

26:48

art. It shouldn't look

26:51

like dragon skin

26:53

is it true? Now think

26:55

of the artist. You don't

26:57

know what's in the artist's

27:00

head. Could be intentional

27:02

and intentional. It could

27:04

be just purely running

27:06

through. Sometimes people create

27:08

things. They don't even know what

27:10

it is until the end, and

27:13

then they really don't know what

27:15

it is. That's art. It

27:17

shouldn't look like dragon skin,

27:19

is it true? No.

27:26

It should look

27:29

like whatever story

27:32

I see it

27:34

as, whatever

27:37

I... My mind

27:39

links it

27:42

to. Yeah, and

27:44

you're

27:46

overriding

27:48

the creator of

27:51

the original.

27:55

artists and what they were in

27:57

touch with. But

28:00

they shouldn't look

28:03

like dragon skin.

28:05

How do you react when

28:07

you think the thought?

28:09

Yeah, that's, I feel just,

28:11

I feel tense, I feel

28:14

angry with a, that

28:16

I've made a mistake.

28:18

I feel embarrassed that

28:20

I've bought something

28:22

that other people might

28:24

come into the house

28:27

and... That's a big one.

28:29

What will people think of

28:31

me if they see this?

28:33

Oh yikes! This object that

28:35

I thought was so, I

28:37

just, and oh my, what

28:39

was I thinking? And that's

28:42

what going on? Yeah. Yeah. And

28:44

so the basins up in

28:46

the bathroom, you know, behind

28:49

the towels or something.

28:51

I keep moving it around the

28:53

house, I'm not happy with

28:56

it. The

28:58

face, without the thought,

29:01

it shouldn't look

29:03

like dragon skin.

29:05

And look at

29:08

the thought, it

29:10

should look like

29:13

dragon skin. And

29:15

ponder that. And

29:18

look at the

29:20

thought, it should

29:22

look like dragon

29:24

skin. And ponder

29:27

that. Would you be

29:29

without the thought it

29:31

shouldn't look

29:34

like dragon skin?

29:36

Yeah, I just

29:38

think it's so

29:41

creative and I just

29:43

I love it again.

29:45

I just I just

29:47

see all the texture

29:50

in it and the

29:52

color and the work

29:54

that's gone into

29:57

it. And

30:00

I feel like peace with

30:02

it. I feel like just

30:04

calm without the thought.

30:07

Yeah. And it's interesting,

30:09

and as I ponder,

30:11

what might the artist

30:14

be thinking as he

30:16

puts that together?

30:19

Maybe intentional?

30:21

Maybe unintentional?

30:24

Maybe unintentional?

30:31

It's so funny, you know,

30:33

when we look at the, the,

30:36

you know, the expression,

30:38

there's no accounting for

30:41

other people's taste, as

30:43

we look at, you

30:45

know, we can, we

30:47

can be walking through

30:49

a museum with the

30:52

most amazing art, and

30:54

some will go, just

30:56

be, just intoxicated

30:59

with it. And the

31:01

other just passed by

31:04

going, oh, let's go

31:06

over here. You know,

31:08

just not even giving

31:11

it a first glance.

31:13

Yeah. So it gives,

31:16

to my mind, it

31:18

gives, it puts you

31:21

where the artist

31:23

is. And it puts

31:25

the artist where

31:27

you are. You

31:38

know, when the work found

31:41

me, like before the work

31:43

found me, when my kids

31:45

made it, they would, there'd

31:47

be a glass base, you

31:50

know, full of flowers, the

31:52

water, and maybe, or a

31:54

glass of milk on the

31:56

table, but they would knock

31:59

it over. And I would,

32:01

I would, I would, what

32:03

are you doing? You know,

32:06

you should be more aware.

32:08

What were you thinking? And

32:10

all of that coming at

32:13

them. And then when the

32:15

work found me, there was

32:18

this very special base that

32:20

had been in the family

32:22

a while and everything, and

32:25

one of my children, of

32:27

course, accidentally knocked it over

32:30

and, and, and, and, and,

32:32

looked at me. I can

32:34

remember the look of horror

32:37

on their face. It wasn't

32:39

about the face being knocked

32:41

over. It was like, you

32:44

know, this time I'm really

32:46

going to get it from

32:49

mom. She's going to cry

32:51

and wail and blame and

32:53

be so sad and I,

32:56

you know, all of that

32:58

look of horror on their

33:01

faces is he looked at

33:03

me and I could see.

33:05

I could see it falling

33:08

and I could see the

33:10

glass and the water catching

33:13

the light. It was so

33:15

amazing and then I look

33:17

at my son and he's

33:20

still waiting for the axe

33:22

to jump off his hand.

33:24

And instead I'm just, I'm

33:27

just... It was so exquisite

33:29

and it just comes out,

33:32

I don't want to miss

33:34

life. That base, sharing it

33:36

with you, you know, it's,

33:39

it lives. It's beautiful, like

33:41

what you're sharing with us,

33:44

you know, if other people

33:46

on this call, or wanting

33:48

to see that base, you

33:51

know, they're not alone. In

33:53

the situation where your husband

33:56

says it looks like dragon

33:58

skin. What

34:00

do you need to

34:02

be happy in that

34:05

situation? Yeah, I just, I

34:07

need my vase to

34:09

look beautiful again.

34:11

Is that true?

34:14

Contemplated, the

34:16

vase hasn't changed. Yeah.

34:18

So it's kind

34:21

of impossible. Yeah.

34:23

Yeah. So it's kind of

34:26

impossible. Yeah. Yeah. Your

34:29

husband, your husband, he looks

34:31

like dragon skin and you

34:33

think it does, you know,

34:35

you had no thought of that

34:38

before he said it. To be

34:40

happy, you need the base to

34:42

look beautiful again. So look at

34:44

the base again. Is it true?

34:46

That to be happy, you need the

34:49

base to look beautiful again. So

34:51

look at it just the way

34:53

it is for those new eyes

34:55

of yours. I

35:03

thought I could take it back,

35:05

I could, if it broke, oh

35:08

I'd be, here's where

35:10

my mind went, it's,

35:12

like she may be

35:14

contemplating taking it back at

35:17

this point. Yeah. I thought

35:19

I could take it back, I

35:21

could, if it broke, oh I'd

35:23

be upset, but oh well,

35:26

at least it's, I

35:28

don't have to have

35:30

this story anymore. And

35:33

I feel like I don't know

35:35

why I don't, like I want

35:37

it to look beautiful

35:40

and I don't know why I

35:42

don't think with the

35:44

dragon skin story that

35:46

it's not beautiful. Like

35:49

that's the resistance. Well

35:51

the basis of what you,

35:54

the way you saw it

35:56

to be. It's a different

35:58

base now. Yes. So, it

36:00

could be something you want to take

36:02

back. I

36:06

don't think that'd take it back. Yeah,

36:19

yeah, that base, it's

36:21

looking good. It's

36:24

looking, meaning you're

36:26

finding some value.

36:30

Yeah. Seeing

36:32

the value as of this

36:34

moment to keep it. To

36:40

be happy and you made

36:42

base to look beautiful again,

36:44

turned around, to be happy,

36:46

I don't need. Yeah,

36:49

I don't need it to

36:51

look beautiful again. It

36:54

is beautiful. I can

36:56

see that it is beautiful

36:58

and it's magical, how

37:00

it changes. I

37:05

don't need it to be

37:07

happy. I don't need it

37:09

to look beautiful again. It

37:11

hasn't changed whatsoever. Need

37:14

to use it like

37:16

a kind of barometer

37:20

to see where my head's

37:22

at, how open my mind is

37:24

to see what it shows

37:26

me next and to invite my

37:28

husband to say that was

37:30

amazing trip. Every time you pass

37:32

that base, if you have

37:34

any thought about that base, be

37:36

sure and share it with

37:38

me. It's

37:41

sunny, that's its

37:44

value for me. And

37:47

how your words influence

37:49

me to the point

37:51

where it could cost

37:54

me something that I

37:56

see as beautiful and

37:58

I really appreciate your

38:00

comments. that's around that base. I

38:02

think that struck that's

38:04

what struck me so so

38:07

much was that it just

38:09

in a flash I could like

38:12

the love could be like I

38:14

could just see it

38:16

differently and yeah and

38:18

I think that happens

38:20

everywhere in my life

38:23

I can just suddenly

38:25

see someone differently

38:28

yeah yeah yeah You

38:30

can look in the mirror and

38:32

see, oh my gosh, I just,

38:35

you know, I, I, I, I,

38:37

I, I feel really good. And

38:39

then someone says, your face, it

38:42

looks like dragon skin and all

38:44

of a sudden, everything, everything, everything,

38:47

just like, well, what I was

38:49

wearing didn't working.

38:51

My light-heartedness that

38:53

wasn't working. The

38:55

base looks like.

38:57

I can scan

38:59

everything. My world

39:02

down the tubes.

39:04

It's not what

39:06

I bought. Yeah.

39:09

Projection. Oh my

39:11

gosh. Oh my goodness.

39:13

Let's look at

39:15

five. This is fascinating.

39:19

Is your base

39:22

handy where you

39:24

could hold it

39:26

up? It's one

39:28

moment away. Okay.

39:30

So I'll read number

39:32

five and then I'll

39:35

get it. Okay. So

39:37

my vase is

39:40

ugly, gross, embarrassing,

39:42

scaly and cheap. No.

39:44

No, it went

39:46

from Dragistown to

39:49

scale with you.

39:51

Oh, quickly grab

39:53

it. Oh

39:56

my, oh my goodness.

39:58

Oh, hi. If you,

40:00

if, if, if you

40:03

dearest, haven't noticed by

40:05

now, it's, it doesn't

40:07

matter what the ego

40:10

is thinking and believing,

40:12

it's, if, if it's

40:14

not matching reality, you

40:17

know, it's, it's, to

40:19

be looked at. Oh,

40:21

sweetie. Oh, my goodness.

40:23

It's like, it's like,

40:25

it's like pottery inside.

40:29

Look up symbols for

40:31

dragon and see, you

40:33

know, like in mythology

40:35

and see what the,

40:37

how they, how they

40:39

saw like dragon or

40:41

dragon skin or, or

40:44

go to a museum

40:46

and look at, look

40:48

at a dragon. But

40:50

why would that artist,

40:52

you know, why might

40:54

that artist use that

40:56

design that, that, um,

40:58

looks to your husband

41:00

like dragon skin. And

41:03

then see, it would

41:05

be something. Why might

41:07

the artists have chosen

41:09

that? What kind of

41:11

simple is that in

41:13

that time when the

41:15

artist was known to live

41:18

and make it produce

41:20

it? I like that. Yeah,

41:22

yeah, because we can think

41:25

of a dragon as. ugly

41:27

and gnarly and doesn't

41:29

belong to a base.

41:31

You know, as you

41:33

know, depicted in pottery,

41:35

but then when we

41:37

look at where, you

41:39

know, people's superstition around

41:41

dragons and, in any way, be

41:43

a interesting, interesting,

41:46

why would a, a potter choose that

41:49

design? And we don't even

41:51

know if a dragon was

41:53

in that potter's head. No

41:56

idea No

41:58

idea Oh

42:02

my goodness, an object can

42:04

just bring all of

42:06

this on for the

42:09

ego and it's just

42:11

such a such a such

42:13

a beautiful trip into

42:16

the cause of suffering

42:18

and and how to

42:20

end it. So that

42:22

face is ugly coarse,

42:25

embarrassing, scaly and cheek.

42:27

Yeah. Okay, so it's ugly.

42:29

So go back to. the

42:33

time you purchased it. It's

42:35

not your first time going

42:37

back to that shop to

42:39

check it out. It's ugly. And

42:41

this is up to you. Your home,

42:44

your face, your husband doesn't

42:46

seem to have a problem

42:49

whether he has a comment,

42:51

but he didn't say get

42:53

rid of it. So it's ugly,

42:55

is it true? What

42:58

did you what did you love

43:01

about it? Like drop your? Drop

43:03

the time what your husband said

43:05

what he said and go back.

43:07

It's ugly. Is it true? Did

43:10

you even think it when you

43:12

were in the store? Did you did

43:14

it hit your head at all?

43:16

I just absolutely loved it. I

43:18

went into the store a few

43:21

times. I fell in love with

43:23

it. I thought it it was

43:25

timeless. It reminded me of

43:27

nothing I love

43:30

the color

43:32

and the

43:34

rusticness

43:37

of it.

43:40

Yeah. Yeah,

43:42

dinosaurs are now

43:45

timeless.

43:47

I mean, they

43:50

don't exist

43:53

as far as

43:55

it. Yeah. Uh-huh.

44:00

seen them

44:02

in museums,

44:05

the bones. But

44:08

it didn't

44:10

look anything

44:13

like your,

44:15

like your face.

44:18

Not even

44:20

close. Oh,

44:28

archaeology. I'm certainly

44:31

not versed there.

44:33

I can't claim

44:35

that. So your base

44:38

is coarse. Is it

44:41

true? And you're

44:43

just looking at

44:45

it in the shop

44:47

in this situation.

44:49

Yeah, no, it's

44:51

not true. It's

44:54

embarrassing. You

44:58

saw an image of the

45:00

vase before you bought it.

45:03

You saw an image of

45:05

it at home and maybe

45:07

where you were going to

45:10

place it. It's embarrassing.

45:12

Is it true?

45:14

No. It's still, it's

45:16

beautiful. Hmm. It's

45:19

gaily. Now we all saw

45:21

that vase. Yeah. It's gaily.

45:24

Is it true? That's

45:26

not true. No, I

45:28

can almost feel

45:31

the pottery and

45:34

the smoothness and

45:36

I don't know if

45:38

it is or not,

45:41

but I just... Yeah.

45:43

It's cheap. Is it

45:45

true? I think it's

45:48

priceless. What it's

45:51

given me in the...

45:53

and some of us, some of

45:55

the, some of us on this

45:57

call as well. Oh my goodness.

46:00

on my thoughts about the

46:02

vase are when my

46:04

husband said what he said

46:06

my thoughts about the

46:08

vase are they're

46:10

ugly and yes

46:13

definitely it's my thoughts

46:15

that are ugly

46:17

and gross and embarrassing

46:22

embarrassing yes it's like I

46:24

had a tantrum in

46:28

my head and

46:30

they're scaly and cheap

46:33

my thoughts are

46:35

definitely scaly and cheap

46:37

just really short

46:39

thoughts yeah it's it's

46:41

like your husband

46:44

said something you into

46:46

a trance and you

46:48

shifted from

46:50

one trance to

46:52

another yeah

46:54

yeah yeah my

47:01

vase is beautiful

47:04

that's the opposite of

47:06

ugly yeah yeah

47:08

it's beautiful it's refined

47:10

opposite of course

47:12

so give me an

47:14

example of refined it's

47:19

finished it's it's

47:21

just perfect as

47:23

it is yeah

47:25

it's a finished

47:28

piece better

47:30

for worse it's a

47:32

finished piece yeah um it's

47:34

embarrassing what's the opposite

47:36

of embarrassing comforting

47:45

yeah be comforted be

47:47

comforted and that's

47:49

your beautiful vase and

47:51

to your husband

47:53

it's he didn't say

47:55

it wasn't beautiful

47:57

he said it looks

47:59

like dragon skin

48:01

yeah but to him

48:04

That may be not a bad thing,

48:06

you know. But you, if you don't

48:08

know, if he was just going yuck,

48:10

if there's a little mystery there, you

48:12

could ask him, you know, what is

48:14

dragon skin to you? Is that something

48:16

that we should even have in our

48:18

home? You know, just if you're

48:20

that curious. Yeah. And if

48:23

you're settled and it's done,

48:25

you both have, you know

48:27

two people have the same

48:29

vase. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, so

48:31

you. We did all the, when

48:33

the kids came over, they all,

48:35

they saw that I had started

48:38

a work shade and then

48:40

we all talked and discussed

48:42

it and they all had

48:45

their different opinions on the

48:47

vase. What were their opinions?

48:49

What was like, what

48:52

was the inconsistent consensus

48:54

if there was one?

48:57

It was late. My

48:59

oldest son was like,

49:02

oh, it doesn't

49:04

look that much

49:06

like dragon's

49:09

skin. They were

49:11

trying to see

49:14

it from his

49:16

perspective. Yeah. Yeah.

49:18

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

49:20

I even saw

49:22

like a giant

49:25

caterpillar. The ultimate

49:28

artist is the ego.

49:30

The creator of everything

49:32

that isn't being a

49:34

state of mind, ego

49:36

being a state of

49:38

mind. Let's look at

49:40

five. Oh, my thoughts,

49:42

my thoughts, when my

49:44

husband said what he

49:47

said, it looks like

49:49

dragon's skin, my thoughts

49:52

about my beautiful face

49:54

were ugly. Course?

49:57

Yeah. Embarrassed?

50:03

and she. Yeah. Yeah.

50:05

I can say it's

50:08

definitely my thought, my

50:10

thinking. Yeah. And the

50:12

ego can't help itself.

50:14

So we can't even

50:17

really claim our thinking,

50:19

you know, it's, but

50:21

we can claim our

50:23

reaction to the to

50:26

the ego, which is

50:28

nothing more than words

50:30

connected to the images

50:32

in our head. And

50:35

if you're looking at

50:37

that vase, you can't

50:39

see the vase that

50:41

you bought. You can

50:43

only see the vase

50:46

as your ego was

50:48

your ego's attempt to

50:50

see it the way

50:52

your husband did. And,

50:55

and not on purpose. But the

50:57

ego just has own everything and everyone

50:59

and every, you know, it's just

51:01

like, you know, no, I see it

51:04

this way. And, and you see

51:06

it that way, you're wrong. And these

51:08

things running in us and then

51:10

we're so hurt and all these emotions

51:12

over a result of what we're

51:14

thinking and believing. Oh,

51:17

my goodness. It

51:19

is just, it is

51:21

the base is beautiful, refined,

51:27

grounding, smooth.

51:34

Just looking at more opposites,

51:36

maybe. Yeah.

51:38

Yeah. I

51:40

find myself attached to that

51:42

base. I

51:48

would have a mind

51:50

that wants to see

51:52

it again. I want

51:54

to see that drug.

51:58

I can hold it off if you like. Okay,

52:03

dear. Let's get

52:05

some feedback on our

52:08

time together. It's

52:10

your open mind and

52:12

heart and humor

52:14

are just, and your,

52:16

the way you

52:18

spoke to your, something

52:20

about embarrassment and,

52:22

and, and all it

52:24

just so revealing.

52:26

It's just so us.

52:28

And thank you

52:30

for that. On

52:33

Anna, honey, your takeaway. Hi,

52:36

KG. Hi, everyone.

52:38

Oh, my God, I

52:40

got so much out of it. It

52:43

was so

52:45

great. And I saw

52:47

the dragon skin, and it

52:49

doesn't look like the

52:51

base. She hold it up. To

52:54

me, if I'm look like a barrel

52:56

cactus in the Mojave Desert, you

52:58

know, they have spine like. It

53:02

looks like plants growing

53:04

at it. Amazing.

53:08

My mind is amazing. It's so,

53:11

and I pictured it. I

53:13

pictured the ways. And we

53:15

never saw dragon skin because

53:17

dragons are not real. It's

53:19

just of movies and pictures,

53:21

and I don't know. Amazing.

53:24

It's amazing. Yeah,

53:29

it's just, I love

53:32

what you're saying and that smile,

53:34

that amazing smile on your

53:36

smile of amazement. It's because we're

53:38

looking at the ego. And

53:40

it's, it is not this serious.

53:42

It is once it's understood.

53:45

It's like this terrified child. I

53:47

know, I know, I know,

53:49

I know I'm right. I'm right.

53:51

And I'm so hurt. And

53:53

I'm so, it is just, oh,

53:55

the ego, it cannot sleep.

53:58

It cannot rest. you

54:00

wake up to reality.

54:02

Yeah, I will take this work,

54:04

Serena. I will take it

54:06

with me. So I will

54:08

remember whenever I see something

54:10

in my home and I

54:12

have a story, I will

54:14

remember this work. It's

54:16

amazing. Thank you so

54:18

much. That's so good,

54:21

sweetie. Thank you. Thank

54:23

you. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Hi.

54:25

Thank you, Katie. Serena. Thank

54:27

you. Serena, I really love

54:29

this example. It was, I

54:31

mean, it was a light-hearted

54:33

way for me to look

54:36

at something that kind of

54:38

impacts every facet of life

54:40

when we start worrying about

54:43

people's opinions, which I

54:45

do all the time. And, you know,

54:47

and- It's powerful, you know, one word

54:49

or one look and our ego defines

54:51

it. And we just, oh, and then

54:54

it's their fault. Yeah, and I keep

54:56

coming back to in your book, Katie,

54:58

how you talk about the three types

55:00

of business, my business, other

55:03

people's business, and God's a

55:05

reality's business, and I'm really trying

55:07

to stay out of other people's

55:09

business and I'm finding it liberating

55:11

to just be in my own

55:13

business. What do I think about

55:15

this thing? What do I think about

55:18

my body? What do I think about

55:20

my clothes? What do I think about

55:22

the way I'm behaving? And,

55:24

but this Baz example is

55:26

such, it's such a concrete

55:28

way to practice letting

55:31

go of other people's

55:33

opinions. And I just loved

55:35

it. I got a lot out

55:37

of it. So thank you for

55:40

sharing Serena. It was a good

55:42

laugh, but also it was quite

55:44

serious. It was great. We

55:46

say it was, it's a good

55:48

way of letting him go of

55:51

other people's opinions. What

55:53

I experienced was the,

55:56

like there was no

55:58

necessity to. let go

56:00

of that opinion. When we

56:03

question it, it's like

56:05

we end up with

56:07

maybe that one or

56:09

another and both to

56:11

be respected. We just

56:13

have what's closest to

56:15

the way we experience

56:17

it and her husband

56:19

has the way that

56:21

he experiences it, which

56:23

could shift at any time.

56:25

Any time. Oh dears. Okay,

56:28

Andrea. Hi, Katie. Hi, honey,

56:30

Sabrina's work. What is

56:32

your takeaway? Yes, I want

56:35

to thank Sabrina because I

56:37

have a similar story of

56:39

a bed. My sister-in-law

56:42

passed away and her

56:44

husband and my husband went

56:46

to storage and got their stuff

56:48

on storage and... I came home

56:50

and I felt like something was

56:53

different. I was like, oh, it

56:55

was so beautiful, the apartment looks

56:57

lighter. And then I sat down on

57:00

the couch and I was looking, what

57:02

was different? And then all of a

57:04

sudden I saw the bed and I

57:06

was like, wow, that was her bed.

57:08

And my husband put her bed in

57:11

her bedroom without asking my permission and

57:13

the whole thing changed from the apartment

57:15

being light and beautiful to. Oh my gosh,

57:17

we're sleeping on her bed

57:20

now, you know. I didn't,

57:22

I didn't give my permission.

57:24

And he didn't ask me,

57:26

you know, my opinion about

57:28

it. And we have done

57:30

counseling about it. This bad

57:32

has become like a big

57:34

thing. And today for the first

57:36

time, he walked into the kitchen

57:39

and I was listening to this

57:41

work and I told him. I

57:43

never told you, but actually when

57:45

I walked into the apartment, I

57:47

was happy and something felt beautiful

57:50

and light. It was only later

57:52

when I noticed the bed that that's

57:54

when it changed. So it gave me

57:56

the opportunity to tell him for the

57:58

first time that I had. had never

58:00

told him before. So thank

58:03

you. But I'm definitely gonna

58:05

do a work sheet on

58:07

that bed now. It is

58:09

so beautiful. So if you

58:11

drop your thoughts about that

58:14

bed, even though your old

58:16

bed, like a friend, you're

58:18

used to it, it's

58:20

you know, you in

58:22

that bed are getting

58:24

along. And then there's

58:26

that new one, you've

58:28

slept in it as

58:30

well, I'm assuming. Yes.

58:32

Which one do you

58:34

prefer? Without your story

58:36

of, oh, it was

58:38

he didn't ask my

58:41

permission, he did it

58:43

without, which bed do

58:45

you prefer? Without any

58:48

judgments other than...

58:50

Oh my God. Yeah,

58:53

this one. Oh my

58:55

God. How you can

58:57

talk to your

58:59

husband. Wow, I feel

59:02

like I'm gonna pass

59:04

that. Oh my God.

59:06

This is such a

59:09

such an issue of

59:11

the ego. I'd rather

59:14

be right. I know

59:16

you didn't ask my

59:19

permission. That's the thing.

59:21

Yeah, my sister and and and

59:24

what you know, it's like, oh

59:26

my gosh, here, it brings you

59:28

this gift and and what is

59:30

the ego do? It doesn't even

59:32

sleep in it and give it

59:35

a chance. Yeah, they carried both

59:37

of them carried it because I

59:39

said, please go straight from his,

59:41

their storage to our storage, I

59:43

don't want to see any stuff

59:45

in the apartment and I don't

59:47

want to see anything, you know,

59:50

just. It's okay you guys do

59:52

this thing, but I don't want

59:54

to be part of it. Please

59:56

don't bring anything and then they

59:58

actually were amazing they brought bed

1:00:00

and the mattress which is so

1:00:02

heavy to the apartment before I

1:00:04

came back from work and they

1:00:07

put everything together before I came

1:00:09

back to work so I yeah

1:00:11

I can see the amazing kindness

1:00:13

that they yeah honey it's like

1:00:16

it's like giving to you what

1:00:18

you're unable to give you it

1:00:20

could be that your husband in

1:00:23

this situation knows you better than

1:00:25

than you do and that turns

1:00:27

out to be the case. I

1:00:29

don't know. But what I

1:00:32

do get from you is

1:00:34

this is the bed you

1:00:36

prefer. Yes, that's true. And

1:00:38

you might want to

1:00:40

share with that with

1:00:43

your husband. And yeah,

1:00:45

you can even laugh about

1:00:47

it and say, you've

1:00:49

been punishing you for

1:00:51

something and the truth

1:00:54

is I prefer this

1:00:56

bed. And you

1:00:59

didn't ask

1:01:01

my permission

1:01:04

if you had,

1:01:07

we wouldn't

1:01:10

have this

1:01:12

bed. So

1:01:14

thank you

1:01:17

for the

1:01:19

surprise. It's been there

1:01:21

for a while now. It's being

1:01:23

over a year that the situation

1:01:25

is happy. So it's been a lot

1:01:28

of pain about it and a

1:01:30

lot of fighting. You'll be sleeping

1:01:32

in a different bed tonight.

1:01:34

And you'll be speaking for

1:01:37

the different husband tonight.

1:01:39

If you just allow what

1:01:41

you've realized to continue its

1:01:43

life in you, you know,

1:01:45

supporting what's true for

1:01:48

you. and noticing your

1:01:50

ego scream. Yes,

1:01:52

but the ego says.

1:01:54

It should have asked.

1:01:57

And then remember.

1:01:59

No, he should

1:02:01

have, because I wouldn't

1:02:04

have this bad. Okay,

1:02:06

precious. Thank you. Love

1:02:08

you. Thank you. Love

1:02:11

you. Okay, dears. The

1:02:13

work is always free

1:02:16

on the work.com, the

1:02:18

worksheets and everything.

1:02:20

And also to

1:02:23

the... to the person that

1:02:25

asked earlier about where can

1:02:28

I find the worksheets? Also,

1:02:30

there's a 99 cent app on

1:02:32

your app phone and in your

1:02:34

app store. And you can just

1:02:36

do it on, you can do it

1:02:39

on that app. And all three

1:02:41

worksheets are there on that app.

1:02:43

So, again, thank you for

1:02:46

your contributions. They even

1:02:48

allow us to afford the app.

1:02:50

which is so grateful. Our time

1:02:52

together is, is, um, I just

1:02:55

love it. It's so us. Okay, dears,

1:02:57

thank you. Thank you well for

1:02:59

something. It's so beautiful. And

1:03:01

also, Sorena, thank you for

1:03:04

being our teacher today. By

1:03:06

the way, everyone, if you

1:03:08

enjoyed this podcast, please give

1:03:10

us a five-star rating and

1:03:12

review on iTunes. It really

1:03:14

matters, and thank you for

1:03:16

that. I love that you

1:03:18

join me every Monday, Tuesday,

1:03:20

and Wednesday from 9 to

1:03:22

10 a.m. Pacific Time at

1:03:24

home with bk.com. Let's do

1:03:27

the work.