0:01

All right, it's

0:03

at this moment. How are you doing

0:05

ladies and gentlemen? Welcome to at this

0:07

moment with me Jim Jeffries and I

0:09

must I want to say guilt and

0:12

And how are you doing mate? I'm

0:14

good, you know I was told by

0:16

my girlfriend to stop saying throughout the

0:18

podcast Let's start over that shit. Let's

0:20

cut that Oh, I don't even

0:22

know what the edits are, I don't listen to the

0:24

podcast back after we do. You seem to say

0:26

a lot of the time, this is crap. That's because

0:28

I think all content is crap. I think most

0:30

of it's a waste of time and I'm glad we

0:32

have listeners. I'm mystified, I'm

0:34

amazed. But we're just

0:36

surfs tilling the fields for the internet,

0:39

giving out this free content. The good

0:41

thing, we don't do ads. We don't do ads,

0:43

yeah. We just drive across town in an hour and

0:45

a half of traffic to catch up. This is as

0:47

free. Well, it's the only way we'd have a chat

0:49

otherwise. This is as free of

0:51

content as you can actually have. I got

0:53

a few announcements in my career at the moment.

0:55

Did everyone see the trailer for him just

0:57

came out? I saw you post

1:00

it, but you're really bad at posting things. I

1:02

don't post things. I got social media teams. Sometimes

1:04

I would call Jack and I'd go, Jack, make

1:06

sure they do that. Because I send it to

1:08

your social people and then they do it. I

1:10

know, but you could have done a video like, hey,

1:12

I'm in a huge Hollywood movie. Instead, you

1:14

just reshared the trailer and didn't even say, I'm

1:16

in this movie. Watch this. Well, I don't

1:18

know. OK, first of all, I'm only in like

1:20

three or four scenes. have a publicist? I

1:22

might have two. I do now. I don't like

1:24

having publicists, but I do at the present

1:26

moment because I've got things coming out. And

1:29

I'm in the movie. I'm not in the trailer. I believe

1:31

I'm in the side of my face is in the trailer

1:33

for a second. I've been told. So

1:35

it means I'm in the movie.

1:37

So let's get this straight. You've got

1:39

a Hollywood movie. Yes. with the

1:42

producer being Jordan Peele. Not

1:44

the director. No, Justin Tipping is doing

1:46

the directing. You've got a

1:48

Australian game show called The One Percent

1:50

Club. It's coming out this Sunday, the

1:52

women's edition of The One Percent Club.

1:54

It's me and just women because it's

1:56

ladies night. That's what it was. They

1:59

called it ladies night, so that's what we did. And you have

2:01

something else to announce? I have a game

2:03

show coming out on Fox called

2:05

The Snake. This is I'd

2:07

seen last week the snake just came out This is

2:09

today when we're recording the recording the show on

2:11

a Tuesday and we're releasing it tonight I assume

2:13

so you're here on the Wednesday that the press

2:15

release has just come out today And I had

2:17

no idea I hate the photo of myself with

2:19

a passion I've just been sent the picture. You've

2:21

just been sent the picture and obviously put the

2:23

picture up now And I'll try to replicate how do

2:25

we put that picture up? I

2:27

mean just look at that folks You

2:30

put it up. I just had

2:32

to show for a second you

2:34

look like you were the best

2:36

regional Real estate agent yeah from

2:39

the northern beaches I'm gonna

2:41

sell you property that you

2:43

like it's a fixer upper

2:45

what an absolute prick Don't

2:48

know what they're like the suit. I don't know

2:51

why I'm right I look like a right cut

2:53

in the picture and I didn't have look I'm

2:55

Jim Jefferies and I get results for you Yeah,

2:57

a bit of that bit of that But it's

2:59

also the Jim Jeffery show used to have a

3:01

one with me holding a newspaper where I was

3:03

pouting my lips like this And

3:06

it's like it's like I never get each other

3:08

and then always my my agents up like

3:10

you look good What are you talking about and

3:12

I don't want to I think they think

3:14

that this looks sexy or something I don't know

3:16

because I What did you think Jack? Little

3:19

power. No, no, that was the Jim Jeffery shows

3:21

little pay that this one the new one I

3:25

Well, okay, so it's it's not

3:27

just that Jim. It's it's just

3:29

knowing you it's funnier for us

3:31

because we're very very aware that

3:33

that face you're pulling is probably

3:35

because you have a prolapsed anus.

3:37

Yeah So anyway, I'm

3:40

hosting a game

3:42

show called the

3:44

snake Right and

3:46

the snake is like and

3:48

they chose you because

3:50

a real snake bro. Oh,

3:52

yeah, you can your

3:54

fucking snake edit things It's

3:56

a show it's got

3:58

a little it's got touches of

4:00

survivary fear factory big brother II type

4:03

of you know like those type

4:05

of shows it's people living together people

4:07

trying to complete tasks all to

4:09

get money and It's got some unique

4:11

qualities about the snake things you

4:13

haven't seen in reality shows before seen

4:16

you attempt to

4:18

host things before. How

4:21

many takes did they give you?

4:23

Because it feels like I'm asking. That's

4:25

what I was a little worried for when you told me about it is

4:27

if you have to do a one take. No

4:30

prompt. I have prompt

4:32

I have like I have like I'll have someone

4:34

in my ear for you me questions and

4:36

stuff like that and did you did you fumble

4:38

anything like looking back at it now you're

4:40

like oh oh no no no you could you

4:42

could go it wasn't like acting where you

4:45

go in and you do a scene and then

4:47

we go let's do it again if you

4:49

if you're going along you're like alright this is

4:51

the game you have to do this this

4:53

this and then then you stumble over a word

4:55

Just go, oh, let me say that again.

4:57

And you say it again until it's up to

4:59

the editors to fix it. Do you think

5:01

the people that this is on the Fox

5:03

network? Yeah, Fox, yeah. How many of

5:05

the viewers of Fox do you think

5:08

know you from stand up? It

5:10

doesn't matter. They know me as now as the host of

5:12

the snake. But even if

5:14

they know me from a standard, this is

5:16

the whole thing because you're gonna go because

5:18

Fox is right like this idea that I

5:20

know right wing people what Fox and left

5:22

wing people watch NBC or whatever Fox news

5:24

would be a little different No, it's

5:26

just it's just and it's also also like

5:28

if you don't like my political stance is

5:31

on standard You can enjoy me on another

5:33

level. I do just say the word sluts

5:35

a lot and all and and I say

5:37

cunt more than anyone else That's enjoyable to

5:39

everyone which is challenging for the family timeslot

5:41

of seven o 'clock then that you're coming to

5:43

American screens on. I'll tell you what, the

5:45

Australian Game Show, they were recording an

5:47

episode over four hours, and I just swear as

5:49

much as possible, and then they edited it down to

5:52

40 minutes, and I don't know, they just find

5:54

the bits. Sometimes people write to me, why aren't you

5:56

funny on that show? And I feel like I

5:58

was doing the recording. So is

6:00

this a show you can watch with your kids? Yeah.

6:03

Wow, this is Jim Jeffery's light

6:05

entertainment. This is light entertainment, yeah. Do you

6:07

know who your lead in is? Oh,

6:10

I don't know. I don't, I don't know. I don't know. Jackie,

6:12

you got the date that it is. I think I know the

6:14

date, but I don't know if they've announced the date. It'd be

6:16

on the press release. Dude, you're becoming the white Steve Harvey. I

6:19

thought he was the white Steve Harvey. No,

6:21

what do you mean like the white Steve Harvey?

6:24

Well, he's a stand -up comedian, then he had

6:26

multiple game shows. Okay, so I've never understood

6:28

this idea that a bloke like me is not

6:30

guess that's Drew Carey. I'm not allowed to

6:32

do family entertainment, right? I watched Eddie Murphy do

6:34

Delirious and Raw, and I also watched him

6:36

in Daddy Daycare. Right? Not on purpose. You know,

6:38

I found that movie by accident. I thought

6:40

it was Billy Hills Cop 5. I was a

6:42

long way into it before I got upset. But

6:45

you get what I'm saying? Richard Pryor

6:47

did the toy. Why am I not allowed to

6:49

do light entertainment because I do dirty stand -up? No, I'm

6:51

just asking the question and saying if you're getting

6:53

defensive about it. Ah, go fuck yourself. got kids now.

6:55

That's always the way. See, I think you're allowed

6:57

to get away with this when you have a family

6:59

of your own. Because you get

7:01

to say, I'm making entertainment that my

7:03

family can watch. I was in the jungle

7:05

and I was there for a few

7:07

weeks. making the show and it was a

7:10

lot of fun the people were very

7:12

nice I told you the food wasn't great

7:14

it wasn't one of the things but

7:16

the contestants I tell you what

7:18

every contestant on that show I could

7:20

be friends with every single one of them every

7:22

single one of them. And it just shows because

7:24

they were people from all walks of life,

7:26

different ages, different occupations, lots of stuff. If you

7:29

spend enough time with people and you play

7:31

games with them, actual games. You can be friends

7:33

with anyone. You can sort of be friends

7:35

with everyone because you're not talking on a political

7:37

level. You're not even talking on a religious

7:39

level with them. You're talking about do this task

7:41

and do this task and you're having a laugh.

7:43

Well, that might actually meld into, I wasn't

7:45

going to do this topic, but we might as

7:48

well now. Did you see Larry David's attack

7:50

on Bill Maher in the New York Times.

7:52

I have not seen Larry David's attack

7:54

on Bill Maher. My wife is a big

7:56

Bill Maher person and she's not happy

7:58

about Bill Maher having lunch with with Trump.

8:00

Well, Larry David has written an op -ed

8:02

in the New York Times and it's

8:04

a clear piss take about a man

8:06

who went for dinner with Hitler and

8:09

that he doesn't agree with what Hitler's

8:11

been up to but He sat there

8:13

and made fat jokes with Herman Goring

8:15

with Hitler about Herman Goring and he

8:17

thought he was very charming and Hitler

8:19

was a real laugh and he wore

8:21

a tan suit and he was a

8:23

fun time and he doesn't understand why

8:26

Adolf can't be the guy that he

8:28

split the pretzel with instead of the

8:30

guy that's out there thumping his. I

8:33

thought it was bizarre that that was the

8:35

big thing that like he was like and

8:37

Trump and he said that Reagan had great

8:39

hair that was the best thing about Reagan

8:41

he had great hair and then what was

8:44

the other thing he was like and he

8:46

goes and I went with my friend kid

8:48

rock and I gotta tell you he was

8:50

funny Trump was funny and he laughed and

8:52

I'm like I assume he was you don't

8:54

you don't get to be president Right, and

8:56

not be charming. You don't get to have

8:58

more than half the country vote for you

9:00

and not be charming. That was never in

9:03

debate where the Trump was charming. But

9:05

Bill Maher did say he was funny. We've

9:07

seen him laugh before. He found me

9:09

funny, which was such a comedian point to

9:11

go, as soon as someone laughs at me, I'm

9:13

fucking. Not if he saw his last special. No,

9:16

I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. I'm

9:18

just staring. But no, did he

9:20

say you found him funny? Yeah, because

9:22

he's saying he made Trump laugh, didn't

9:24

he, by extension? And that's such a

9:26

shallow comedian's perspective to be like, I

9:28

will turn and love anyone. If

9:31

Idi Amin and Paul Pot came

9:33

to watch you do stand -up and

9:35

they went to the meet -and -greet afterwards

9:37

and were like, all things considered,

9:39

you are one of the greatest stand

9:41

-up comedians I've ever seen. You'd forget

9:43

all about the people with glasses

9:45

who were killed in Cambodia. I can

9:47

tell you that whenever people meet

9:49

you, even if they think you're a

9:51

disgusting comic or whatever like that,

9:53

and they actually meet you, once they

9:55

see the juxtaposition of you being

9:57

quite nice and personable, right, all of

9:59

a sudden they think you're wonderful.

10:01

If people get to touch and feel

10:03

you, They'll think you're nice. I've

10:05

always had the opposite. No for

10:07

you. I'm talking about me

10:09

right here if people see you

10:11

on stage. I think you're

10:14

wonderful. They meet you in person

10:16

like He smells like sticky

10:18

tape No, but I do think?

10:20

I just think as soon as you to

10:22

me as soon as you bring in It was

10:24

a funny piece and I get the idea

10:26

It's having a bit of fun, but I think

10:28

as soon as you bring Hitler into it.

10:30

You always kind of lose Okay, why don't we

10:32

use Hitler far too much? No,

10:36

okay. So because Hitler in the secular world

10:38

has replaced the devil and so anytime there's a

10:40

person you really disagree with you don't say

10:42

he's the devil you say he's Hitler because we're

10:44

not a religious society anymore our Absolute manifestation,

10:46

right? So why are you saying we're using Hitler

10:48

too much? Who would you like to use

10:50

and who would be the book the placement? The

10:53

placemark for Hitler Mussolini.

10:56

Yeah, right. So that would be better You went,

10:58

I went for dinner with Mussolini. And

11:00

also, I don't

11:02

know. I don't like Trump. When

11:05

people go, oh, you refer to

11:07

him as Hitler. Hitler killed six

11:09

million Jews. Not on day

11:11

one. Not on day one.

11:13

I've never referred to Trump as Hitler

11:15

at the end of his career. Hitler

11:20

just come out of art school.

11:22

That's what I think he is.

11:24

I think Trump is Hitler after

11:26

he just finished Mein Kampf, which

11:28

was the art of the deal

11:30

of its day. Yes, but

11:32

I'm sorry to tell you, Hitler served

11:34

gallantly in World War I. He didn't pull

11:36

out with bones. Oh, no, no. In

11:39

many ways, I have far

11:41

more respect for Hitler. He

11:43

served. You can't, you can't.

11:45

He's a veteran. who saw horrors

11:47

and came home and thought,

11:50

what the fuck happened there? He

11:52

went through with his campaign

11:54

promises. You

11:56

can't say that about old

11:58

Trumpy. Although no, Trump does go through

12:00

with a lot of them. And then he

12:02

gets them, you go, you got tariffs, you don't have tariffs. But

12:04

I thought it was, look, I thought

12:06

it was well written. But

12:09

he was odd to come out of no.

12:11

Kevra enthusiasm. He must have been, I

12:13

don't know, those guys clearly around the same

12:15

age. They would know each other, right? Yeah, they

12:17

would know each other completely. What do you

12:19

think Bill Ma was like when he saw it

12:21

posted? Because

12:23

you've met Bill Ma. I've met Bill Ma.

12:25

I don't, I quite like Bill on

12:27

a one -to -one basis and I've done

12:29

his show. I infamously, I infamously said Trump

12:32

was Hitler on the show and told

12:34

Pierce Morgan to go fuck. I didn't

12:36

say Trump was Hitler, mind you. I just

12:38

said give him a chance. But I

12:40

didn't say he was Hitler. How

12:42

do you think Bill will respond to

12:44

Larry? I think

12:47

Bill will

12:49

be... New rule.

12:52

Say it to my face. Until

12:55

you've had lunch with the man, I've

12:57

gone Jim Carrey now. I

12:59

think Bill will say something about the last time he had

13:02

lunch with Larry. Troubless smoking. Yeah,

13:04

he'll say that he'll say that

13:06

Larry was a lousy lunch and

13:08

he wouldn't want to have What

13:10

I would do is I would

13:12

write a car an op piece

13:14

against Larry about fucking what did

13:16

he fucking advertise coins comm or

13:18

some shit? He was a peddler

13:20

of crypto. What was it? Was

13:22

it the one that FTX crypto

13:24

comm? Larry David there was admittedly

13:26

pushing a crypto that's that was where

13:28

like I No one loves Larry David more

13:30

than me. I have loved Larry David

13:32

forever I once saw Larry David down at

13:35

the driving range near my house like a

13:37

little golf driving land Which is the public

13:39

little thing and I was so starstruck just

13:41

to see him and I was like I

13:43

might walk up I'm a comedian I can

13:45

talk to him surely and I didn't

13:47

I couldn't do it, right? I love Larry

13:49

David And also, I love Julia

13:51

Lewis -Dreyfus, who also is a billionaire,

13:53

I've been told, an heiress, right? Those

13:56

two people lost me in this world.

13:58

They lost me, right? You don't,

14:00

I'm all, look, I can

14:02

do ads, I'm not a billionaire, right?

14:06

We do ads on the podcast and that

14:08

type of stuff, but - We don't, we

14:10

have no sponsors, no one's behind us.

14:12

I've done ads on the podcast, I'm not

14:14

anti -doing ads. But doing crypto when you're

14:16

worth, how Larry Dev is worth $600

14:18

million? I think a billion. Yeah, let's say

14:21

a billion and then you go I'll

14:23

do another advert for five million Add it

14:25

like out of a speculative things that

14:27

like crypto crypto for FTX Yeah, yeah that

14:29

that I was like come on man.

14:31

Well, that reminds me of the bill Bill

14:33

Hicks bit Julia Lewis drivers. No, I

14:35

don't like the bill Hicks bit either. I'll

14:38

speak on this Julia the bill Hicks

14:40

Lewis Julia Lewis drivers doing an advert for

14:42

old Navy Right when she

14:44

would never shop an old Navy in

14:46

her fucking life It's all right if

14:48

it's something you would actually buy or

14:50

a product you agree with or something

14:52

like the Peterman magazine exactly this these

14:54

things The hell just happened What the

14:56

set just opened up in a door?

14:58

Is Larry David coming here? And

15:01

here he is No, so the

15:03

bill is not on camera, but a

15:05

door just opened behind us like

15:07

a guest was walking out. The

15:09

Bill Hicks bit where comedians shouldn't advertise.

15:11

I don't know why, because Shane Gillis

15:13

advertises beer and stuff now. Other comedians

15:16

are, but my generation weren't allowed to.

15:18

We were seen as being bad if

15:20

we did average. Your generation's allowed to

15:22

do it. And we weren't allowed to

15:24

because of that fucking Bill Hicks routine.

15:26

I know he's your guy. No, he

15:29

was never my guy. He's

15:31

one of the fathers just like of the

15:33

British alt comedy scene. Overrated. I think he's

15:35

tremendous. Um, very good. But I saw Will

15:37

Ferrell doing an ad the other day and

15:39

I just thought, what's the why? How much

15:41

do you need? Brad Pitt does a perfume

15:43

one. Okay, would you

15:45

ever say to an athlete? Would

15:47

I say what to an athlete? Okay,

15:49

because I just contradict myself because I've

15:52

gotten into Julie Lewis drivers and Larry David

15:54

because they're offside for doing adverts. And

15:56

I, okay, so Shohei Otani, you go to

15:58

Japan. It's just Shohei everywhere. Do you

16:00

know how the Dodgers now, right? They

16:02

have, when you get to a base,

16:04

Right? They do their little dance and

16:06

they also go like this. Right?

16:09

And where that comes from is there's

16:12

a perfume advert where Shohei's in Japan and

16:14

he's like smelling the perfume and he

16:16

goes, Look, there's some ads that

16:18

are better than others, aren't there? A

16:20

perfume, a runner, sporting

16:22

things. It's another thing to go, Hey,

16:25

are you poor? Put

16:27

your money into crypto. in this

16:29

speculative. Exactly. Exactly. A car, like

16:32

doing, having kind of he

16:34

do a Lincoln commercial and going,

16:36

hey, this car is, that's fine, right?

16:38

Having Brad Pitt do perfume, that's

16:40

okay. Having Shane Gillis do alcohol, that's

16:42

his audience. He does like Bud. Look, I

16:44

wanted an, when I was drinking, I was

16:47

like, why wouldn't anyone it? It is one

16:49

of the great misses of your career that

16:51

you never were, maybe you were such a

16:53

sloppy drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who

16:55

should we get to have? Because no one's

16:57

drunken. alcohol advertisements. No

16:59

one's ever like, Tito,

17:02

you fucking bitch. If

17:06

Jack Daniels Corporation saw you with the

17:08

product, they might have an internal crisis and

17:10

close down the factory. It's like our

17:12

burberry had to stop selling hats because of

17:14

the chabs we're wearing. Um,

17:19

yeah, you know, Jack, I would have hurt Jack

17:21

Daniels brand completely. Even Coca -Cola would have gone.

17:23

Just say you mix it with Pepsi. All right.

17:25

Thank you. Bye -bye. Yeah. I look at the end

17:27

of the day, this is a, we're at rampantly

17:29

capitalist society and every inch of your life is

17:32

to be marketed and you try and make as

17:34

much money from it as possible. You try to

17:36

make money where you can. Look, I'm going to

17:38

get shit for doing this game show. People are

17:40

going to give me shit, but I like, man,

17:42

I like game shows. I watch game shows. I

17:44

host a game show. I'm looking forward to it.

17:46

It's really hard to have any f... mean,

17:48

what are you meant to do with stand -up? Yeah,

17:51

if you want to be a really cool stand

17:53

-up, ultimately, you just do the work and you

17:55

make money from your fans and you keep putting

17:57

that good stuff for them and then you go

17:59

away. But we don't live in

18:01

that world anymore. Everyone's knocking on your face fucking

18:03

constantly. You used to be able to

18:05

duck off for a couple of years. We wish we

18:07

could do that. And then come back and go, I

18:09

got a new set and I've been thinking of things

18:11

and I went off and thought of it. You could

18:13

be artists. We used to be able to be

18:15

artists. And now we're just

18:17

like, content, content,

18:20

content. got to put something out. You've

18:22

got to put something out. The only reason we're talking

18:24

now is more content. I know.

18:26

Listen, we're trapped into the

18:28

cycle. It's horrible.

18:31

You've at least got... I'm trying to grow. A best

18:33

friend of mine in comedy, we were talking about

18:35

this the other day, if I knew what this was

18:37

going to entail, stand up today, I

18:39

would not have gone through with it. And what job would have

18:41

you done? I don't fucking... I would

18:43

have just been carrying on with law. I would have

18:45

been a would

18:47

have been a very... When did you start wearing an Audi

18:49

top? Didn't I tell you the story of this Audi top?

18:51

No. You look like the

18:53

harmful, like the helpful Honda people in

18:56

their outfit, the harmful Audi guy. I'll

18:58

tell you what happened for this

19:00

Audi top. I bought a second

19:02

hand Audi from a dealership. Do you remember

19:04

this? Yeah, I remember that. And it was

19:06

like six grand. Yeah. And you're like, I

19:08

gotta get something. Who would have believed that

19:10

the Audi Q5 blew up literally two weeks

19:12

afterwards. And I went in there asking that

19:14

I've been sold a lemon. Yeah. That I

19:16

was like, I want the six grand back. And

19:19

I just kept going back and they were like,

19:21

sorry, mate, you know, the lemon law, let

19:23

the buy be where it was

19:26

sold as is. And I picked up

19:28

such a stink about suing them

19:30

and they wouldn't give me anything. And

19:32

I managed to only get this

19:34

Audi pullover golf sweater was my payment.

19:36

They were like, leave no legal

19:38

recourse whatsoever. And I said, well, at

19:40

least give me that fucking sweater. I

19:43

got this sweater and a

19:45

pair of old roof racks from

19:47

another Audi Q5. Why do

19:49

you wear that? That would remind

19:51

me of a shit decision. Every time I

19:53

would see myself and then I'd go, that

19:55

was when I got ripped off. I did

19:57

get ripped off, but this is all I've

19:59

got for that $6 ,000 I put into

20:01

an Audi Q5. And now I

20:03

have a Volkswagen, which is

20:05

far more reliable. All right. I want to

20:07

talk to you quickly about something that happened

20:09

to me this week. It was Easter. Right?

20:12

And I got into an argument with my wife. Tell me

20:14

what you think about this one. Sure thing.

20:17

So my wife... She was in

20:19

the right. I'm

20:21

just guessing. No, I don't believe

20:23

she was. My wife was in a bad

20:25

mood, I guess. And...

20:29

Signically, or just... I have my

20:31

theories. I think she was in

20:33

a bad mood that's more common

20:35

for women than... I don't want

20:37

to get into it, but... I

20:40

think it might happen again in a month. Anyway,

20:42

so my wife was in a bad

20:44

mood and Easter Sunday was coming

20:46

up and I was like, with my

20:48

kid I was like, oh, Easter

20:50

Bunny's coming. Easter Bunny's going to come.

20:52

And she went, we're not doing

20:54

that. And I'm like why wouldn't

20:56

we what do you mean? We're not we're not

20:58

doing she wanted the kids to focus on the

21:00

true meaning of Jesus's death We're not we're not

21:03

really rising and I said she goes I go

21:05

you get eggs like every other kid and she

21:07

goes she pulls out nails and a hammer and

21:09

goes we're gonna teach them the real lesson She's

21:11

like she's like of course. He gets eggs, but

21:13

they're not they're not coming from the East money

21:15

now kids if you're listening the Easter Bunny's real

21:17

Right. And she goes and,

21:19

uh, and, and, uh, but

21:22

she was saying the Easter Bunny wasn't invited to

21:24

our house. I'm sorry, but

21:26

like, why exactly? That's

21:28

what I said. I went, what are you talking

21:30

about? What are you talking about? Of course the

21:32

fucking Santa Claus comes. I

21:35

said Santa. And she goes, I

21:37

like Santa. Right. And then I

21:39

went, okay. Okay. So

21:41

you like Santa? Good. Easter Bunny.

21:43

Let's get her some psycho analysis.

21:45

What happened to Daisy? as a

21:47

child with the bunny she claims

21:49

she claims that Easter Bunny isn't

21:52

a thing in England That's nonsense. I

21:54

was just watching the Premier League

21:56

all weekend and they're like, hope the

21:59

kiddies aren't like that. I've had

22:01

good feed of chocolate eggs from the

22:03

bunny. Yeah, no. Paul

22:06

McCartney, the most famous English person

22:08

living, posted a picture of him

22:10

dressed as the Easter Bunny on

22:12

his Instagram. He said, I

22:15

hope you had a bountiful Easter. I

22:17

think your wife was raised by a

22:19

parent who missed one year and then

22:21

carried on a lie. The first thing

22:23

I did was I texted Jimmy Carr,

22:25

our most English friend. Most English person

22:27

we know. Where's a three -piece suit

22:29

everywhere he goes? Oh, maybe two pieces.

22:31

Keeps invading places. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's

22:33

a... Yeah, yeah. He's a pretty... He's

22:35

a quintessential English He tax on tea.

22:38

And I said, just having a debate

22:40

with the wife. Is the

22:42

Easter Bunny thing in England? He

22:44

goes... it's a thing, yes, of

22:46

course, yes. It's not

22:48

massive, but it's definitely a thing. Looks like he's

22:50

visited your house one too many times, Jim. You

22:53

fat cunt. So he

22:55

goes, yes, of course it's a thing. And

22:58

I was like, all right, it's a

23:00

cause thing. So I said, my wife goes,

23:02

it's one of those American things, right?

23:04

And I said, well, that's good, because we

23:06

live in America. Yeah, and

23:08

I said we celebrate 4th of July

23:10

we celebrate Thanksgiving and first I know

23:12

I wasn't sold on this the Easter

23:14

Bunny didn't exist, right? I think it's

23:16

a thing that her family didn't really

23:18

do that so and she goes maybe

23:20

they do it now because the country's

23:22

been Americanized or something like what are

23:24

you fucking talking about man? Well, it's

23:26

not like Halloween, which is only just

23:28

Halloween she loves Nah, she's

23:30

fucking all over place. She's all over the map.

23:32

Halloween's the most American all. I love you, Daisy. You're

23:34

well off. Nah, she's wrong on this one. She's

23:36

wrong on this one. Okay, so I'm sure you handed

23:39

it well. Ah, yes, I overreacted.

23:41

So let's play it out. I

23:43

took one, we don't do it here. We're

23:45

doing it. I'd rather not.

23:47

Well, we're gonna do it. We

23:50

don't do it here. From

23:52

your wife's perspective, you

23:54

have gone, yeah? Yeah? Well, I'll

23:56

find the most famous person from your country

23:58

who will also call you a dumb fuck. That's

24:03

like if you and your wife had

24:05

an argument and she goes, I'm gonna get

24:07

Chris Hemsworth to call you out. She

24:09

goes, when I was a child, we didn't

24:11

do the Easter Bunny. And I was

24:13

like this, well good, because he's the

24:15

one who's the child right now. We're

24:18

creating new memories. Yeah, the child

24:20

can enjoy it. Anyway, she came

24:22

around. She's just in a awkward

24:24

mood. But it was one of

24:26

our biggest arguments we've ever had

24:28

over the fucking Easter, buddy. What

24:31

else is really at play there?

24:33

It seems to me, if we

24:35

look at it, is she feeling

24:37

some vitriol about America right now?

24:41

I think you want to go back to

24:43

the UK. I think it was that she

24:45

didn't want to wake up in the morning and hide

24:47

eggs or anything like that. Is it of chocolate shit?

24:49

Yeah, I think it was just, we're going

24:51

to watch TV. But anyway,

24:53

so then to stir it up a little

24:55

bit more, me and Hank

24:57

throw on the movie Hop, which

25:01

is about James Marsden and

25:03

Russell Brand. Yeah, this is the

25:05

whole thing. And the Easter Bunny is

25:07

voiced by Russell Brand. And

25:09

the Easter Bunny's dad is

25:12

voiced by Hugh Laurie. And

25:14

it's like, and I'm like, see that son

25:16

I'm talking to the three year old, the Easter

25:18

Bunny is from England. He's

25:21

English. Why am I doing this?

25:23

I'm a bunny. Why am I doing

25:25

this? Why am I trying to

25:27

upset someone? Because this is what we

25:30

do. And you'll do it every

25:32

Easter for the rest of your marriage.

25:35

And I said, if you find me.

25:37

One place on the internet that says

25:39

the Easter Bunny doesn't exist in England.

25:41

Have at it. Have at

25:43

it. And then I was, I was, I was,

25:45

because I was so good at the argument,

25:47

right? I was, I was smooth. I

25:49

was clearly calming things down

25:51

and making, and diffusing the situation.

25:54

I wasn't making the situation

25:56

worse when I was like, right,

25:58

Wikipedia. The

26:00

Easter Bunny originated in

26:02

Germany. Which is

26:05

near in England then it is here

26:07

to America. It was in England before

26:09

it was in America It didn't help

26:11

the situation and she didn't um, no,

26:13

she didn't respond to that didn't respond

26:15

to logic Yeah, no, no, she didn't

26:17

she didn't hear that and think to

26:19

herself. He's a loving man our Relationships

26:21

in perfect situation. I think usually

26:23

approaching disagreements as a zero -sum

26:25

game is very good for romance Why

26:28

did I what do you know when

26:31

you have an argument? Why did I dig

26:33

my heels in what I should have

26:35

just gone like this? Okay, we won't have

26:37

the Easter Bunny and then just gone.

26:39

Hey the Easter Bunny gave you some chocolates

26:41

I had a similar one in the

26:43

end. We had the Easter Bunny and he

26:45

fucking loved it Of course he did

26:47

he got free chocolate my girlfriend does a

26:49

weird one We were in Chicago with

26:51

all her siblings. Yes, and my girlfriend's 27

26:53

now. Oh and Time, time

26:55

to upgrade. Time to move on. But

26:58

she's got a brother who's

27:00

19. Oh, you could date him. Oh,

27:02

too old. And

27:04

another brother who's 30. And

27:06

she made us do an Easter egg hunt where they

27:08

get plastic eggs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was one of

27:10

the things the wife goes, they put plastic eggs in

27:13

the yard and she doesn't like the plastic. I said,

27:15

yeah, just give me. In Australia, we just put chocolate

27:17

eggs everywhere. But they do plastic egg, then they fill

27:19

it with other candies, cheaper candies and whatnot. And then

27:21

they put $100 in one of the eggs. they

27:23

spread it out across their house and then

27:25

my girlfriend kept being like let's do the

27:27

egg hunt and i just kept saying to

27:29

her are you fucking no i don't want

27:31

to do an egg hunt i'm 33 years

27:33

old yeah she's like it's fun we've been

27:36

doing it forever i'm like yeah 27 this

27:38

is a massive turnoff for me and even

27:40

her parents were like why are you making

27:42

him do the egg and then she was

27:44

going get into it Why would you get

27:46

into it? I'm not gonna get into it.

27:48

She goes, everyone else is doing it and

27:50

everyone in her family begrudgingly was like, we

27:52

keep up traditions for Annika and I just

27:54

thought to myself, I need to put a

27:56

fucking baby in this woman. I see. She's

27:58

the one who keeps it going. So even

28:01

the 19 year olds, he's like, oh, yeah.

28:04

And then you find my girlfriend needs a

28:06

baby. It's just as simple as it

28:08

gets. Send her over. I'll

28:10

fix it because we heard about your

28:12

clumpy scum. What? Your clumpy scum. My clumpy

28:14

you know what else happened to me

28:16

that I'm gonna get into my next topic

28:18

about fertility before I do that I

28:20

love how you bring notes the middle. Well,

28:22

I have got to keep this on

28:24

the on track, you know forest told me

28:26

to rain you in My my girlfriend's

28:29

sister Caroline brought the boyfriend home for the

28:31

first time. Oh, yeah And as long

28:33

as I've been in the family, I'm the

28:35

only boy friend. It's been a boy

28:37

friend who's the new boyfriend who's he's shown

28:39

up He must have shown up and

28:41

been difficult. He's he's turned up and He

28:43

was so American. He's 25.

28:45

He's like, bro. He works in

28:47

finance as a consultant. He

28:50

looks great. Start work is going to

28:52

be fine. going to readjust. It's going to

28:54

readjust. My girlfriend's father is a businessman.

28:56

They're chatting tariff. I'm trying to get my

28:58

nose in there. And I've got

29:00

no idea what I'm discussing as they talk about

29:02

derivatives and whatnot. He golfs better than

29:04

me. Of course. So that was a struggle

29:06

on the weekend. And then

29:08

I find out he's a hunter. And

29:10

we went out the back and shot trap. You

29:13

know they the clay targets. Oh,

29:15

yes, they have one of these machines

29:17

the family and I get I

29:19

thought it was a type of fish

29:21

You thought it was a type

29:23

of immigrant group and I Missed ever

29:25

I mean I hit one of

29:27

ten and this guy hit ten of

29:29

ten and there's just a feeling

29:31

when there's new guys there. He's a

29:33

consultant He's handsome. Yeah, but get him

29:35

to do stand up for five minutes and then

29:37

see what he's got. But I wasn't particularly bringing

29:39

a lot of humor either. His stories were good

29:41

at the table. He's hitting

29:43

the targets. And I immediately, as you're sort of

29:45

out Alford in that moment, I

29:48

did see how work beta male politics works

29:50

because I started being like, I don't agree with

29:52

guns. But that was my way of

29:54

dealing with it. Not much of a shooter. Don't

29:56

need violence. What do you need a gun

29:58

for? What would you shoot for? I'm from Australia.

30:00

Oh, so you're saying, you're saying that rather

30:02

because he outmatched you, you pussied up. So, so

30:04

because he was better than me at golf

30:06

and shooting at me like this, golf's for the

30:08

rich, isn't it? Yeah. I prefer sort of

30:10

street sports like soccer that the whole world can

30:12

play. The thing with golf is, you know

30:14

what I mean? It takes, you know, a long

30:16

time out of your day to rather be

30:18

with my girlfriend. Yeah, exactly. And a

30:20

lot of the clubs are really sexist, you know.

30:22

Yeah. And also all that land, think of how

30:24

we could house the So

30:26

what do you like about golf clubs? Was it the fact

30:28

that they kept Jews out? Yeah. That

30:31

was me. That's what you said. So you

30:33

learn to shoot. So you go

30:35

away on hunting trips. You get an erection when you hurt

30:37

a small animal there. And

30:40

in that exact moment, did actually say

30:42

that to me? No. But I did do

30:44

a lot of, he did, they kept

30:46

laughing. Like Anton the dad

30:48

was like, holy shit. If an intruder

30:50

breaks into Annika's house, Amos is

30:52

gonna do fuck war. Yeah,

30:54

you're not gonna protect my daughter and I

30:57

you know I had to be like well

30:59

I'll tell you what he'll trip over the

31:01

fucking Easter eggs. I didn't pick up It'll

31:03

be like home alone. I fight so I

31:05

just chewed on it And I went I

31:07

immediately took a this sort of beta male

31:09

stance of I just said is Anton and

31:11

I know Anton Yeah, your father -in -law of

31:13

sorts So does

31:15

Anton, does he like

31:17

the new boy more? Oh, he's very new. Have you

31:19

been dethroned? Because you used to be the fresh

31:21

bit of meat in the house. No, I've absolutely been

31:23

dethroned. And you get to a position when you've

31:25

been, I've been with his family for two or three

31:28

years now. And now it's no longer like, hey,

31:30

we've been cooking you something. Sit down. We want you

31:32

to try this German dish. Now it's like there's

31:34

dishes. Pull your fucking

31:36

weight around here. Yeah. Yeah.

31:38

You're fat. How come

31:40

not famous? Wait, wait, wait, wait. You get called

31:42

fat and unfamous? No, that's my

31:44

projection, but that's what I think

31:46

thinking. Oh, see, they've never actually said

31:49

you're fat, no, famous. And

31:51

don't be upset that they're talking behind

31:53

your back. I'm sure they

31:55

are, because we take too much fuel to

31:57

drive around your front. What we're being

31:59

as fat as you are. Because I sleep in.

32:01

I used to wake up and go for their morning

32:03

German walks, and now I've started to sleep through.

32:06

What you mean the morning German walks? You know, they

32:08

love to hike the Germans. Who wants the goose

32:10

step? Well, I got bad

32:12

hamstrings, so I can never keep up. Yeah,

32:14

they're not walks, they're marches. I

32:16

had to borrow some of their boots. But

32:19

yeah, man, it's interesting when a new guy

32:21

comes to you, because men, we are very

32:23

competitive. And he was a nice guy. And

32:25

you are also like, it's

32:27

good to have another dude join, you know, when you're...

32:29

How old is he again? He's 25. 25. You

32:31

should be able to dominate this man in every way.

32:34

Not physically anymore, you're too old. He

32:36

was a state wrestler at his college.

32:38

How tall is he? And he

32:40

doesn't even have the fucked up ears. I was hoping

32:43

when I heard he was a good wrestler. Yeah,

32:45

but he loved those ugly ears. He didn't even have

32:47

those. They wear those things over the top to

32:49

stop the ears. Your

32:51

wife's sister doesn't have a partner,

32:53

she does. She's married. I

32:56

went to my wife's

32:58

sister's marriage. our wedding,

33:00

it was the same weekend the queen

33:02

died. I remember it distinctly because the

33:04

queen died. And I also, I

33:06

went there just for a weekend. I met up with

33:08

a couple of friends. I went to a dinner

33:10

and I went to the wedding and then the wedding,

33:12

the queen had died and I had to come

33:14

back for gigs, but there was no planes that were

33:16

to fly over the top of the queen's funeral.

33:19

So I was stuck in England. You know

33:21

what bothered me about it? Surely there were people who

33:23

I need to get on an airplane. My grandmother's on

33:25

a death bed. I had to rush home from my

33:27

mother being on a death bed, right? You'll

33:29

do this in your life. Most people have to do this.

33:31

Most people will have to rush home for someone on their

33:33

dead bed. But if your mum died, is

33:35

she part of any royal bloodline? Who gives a

33:37

fuck about you? That's the whole thing. The fact

33:39

that we weren't allowed to have planes take off

33:42

in the UK because there's an old woman died,

33:44

didn't she? Speaking of

33:46

old people dying. Don't

33:48

you try and do fucking segues.

33:51

This the thing. So we're at

33:53

the wedding. We come out. There

33:55

was to be no confetti. You

33:58

weren't allowed to throw confetti on the

34:00

the day after the queen died because it's

34:02

a celebration We're meant to be yeah,

34:04

we're meant to be morning or weekend. That's

34:06

some North Korean There was no Celebrationary

34:08

stuff to go on because the country was

34:11

in mourning because the queen had died

34:13

No confetti was banned on that day and

34:15

they told us no confetti now. I'm

34:17

a bit skeptical I think the kind who

34:19

has to clean up the confetti was

34:21

like this The queen said No

34:23

confetti. Now, you all got that

34:25

memo, didn't you? No confetti. Yeah,

34:28

no confetti. It's

34:30

kind of a thing to sweep up. And

34:33

also, you have to take out

34:35

own trash. Yeah, take out own trash.

34:38

And also, you have to leave

34:40

a slab of Stellar Artois on

34:42

the stairs. As an offering. As

34:44

an offering to the Queen. To

34:47

the Queen. To the Queen! So

34:50

my mother was a bit, my mother was a

34:52

huge monarchist. Just before you got there. She was

34:54

actually, she only liked the monarchy a little bit.

34:56

She was just massive. Anyway, so my

34:58

mother was a huge, okay, you go on

35:00

with it. No, I just wanted to ask you

35:03

if, you know. Well, you don't, don't you?

35:05

Because you're international, famous, and wealthy comedian. I'll tell

35:07

you my sister - Do you ever feel at

35:09

the dinner table like, oh, this guy's got

35:11

me tonight? Well, he - You get competitive that.

35:13

Okay, this is the thing. So my sister -in -law,

35:15

who I'm fond of, I like - I'm fond

35:17

of. I like my sister -in -law, right? My

35:19

sister -in -law has a husband, great guy, really sweet

35:21

guy, right? They both met

35:23

when they were teenagers doing stand -up

35:25

comedy. They did like a stand -up

35:28

comedy course or something like that. So...

35:32

It's tough. Yeah, so I'm the

35:34

Clay Pigeon shooting guy, right?

35:37

That's what I'm saying. That's brutal for guy.

35:39

Yeah, so I don't, he wanted to

35:41

be a standard. He actually does well. He

35:43

works in computers, I believe. She's

35:45

a sitcom writer for the BBC, or

35:48

she's very successful writing sitcoms. And

35:50

they're a fun couple. When they

35:52

walk out of church music was

35:54

the theme song to curb your

35:56

enthusiasm. So the

35:58

now pronounce you did it did it did

36:00

it did it as they walked out

36:02

isn't it interesting and stuff and Both their

36:04

speeches were bangers at their wedding. So

36:06

they're funny people, but I didn't really see

36:08

that before the wedding because You know,

36:10

I think maybe me being who I am

36:13

might have overshadowed that a little bit.

36:15

I had this feeling when you meet him

36:17

immediately where you're like, oh This guy

36:19

Who's met my girlfriend's sister on the dating

36:21

app and they've been together for a

36:23

few months now. You're like, I may spend

36:25

the rest of my life seeing this

36:27

guy at Christmas. This is the whole thing.

36:29

You meet these people. It's like he

36:31

better be, he better be a good boy.

36:33

You marry the family, right? You always

36:35

marry the family, which would always made it

36:37

tough for me growing up because, you

36:39

know, my mother was a painful human being.

36:41

That was okay. So I was going

36:43

to say my mother. Big monarch is love

36:45

the queen love the queen more than

36:47

anything in the whole wide world favorite person

36:49

on earth was the queen right my

36:51

mother had there was a there was a

36:53

woman in australia called i'd a buttress

36:55

which you'll know who i'd a buttress is

36:57

i'd a buttress is a lady who

36:59

is maybe a little bit how Martha Stewart

37:01

would that would be a good well

37:03

she ran like um the equivalent of Woman's

37:06

Day or something. Cosmo magazine. Yeah,

37:08

she was an editor of magazine. Vogue.

37:10

And a wind tour, maybe. Yes,

37:12

yes. More towards that. But she also

37:14

brought out a book on etiquette. Right?

37:18

She had a book on wedding

37:20

etiquette, which my mother bought before

37:22

my brother got married. Which is

37:24

basically a Karen protocol etiquette books. This

37:27

is the cuntiest book you've ever fucking

37:29

seen. Right? I think it was like white

37:31

with like a rose. Just think about

37:33

what etiquette, like dude. An etiquette guide is

37:35

basically, if you write an etiquette book,

37:37

this is you saying, from the moment you

37:39

wake up to the moment you go

37:41

to sleep, I'll tell you how you fucking

37:44

act. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'd be

37:46

exactly as I said. An etiquette book is,

37:48

this is what I need you to

37:50

do for me to put up with you.

37:52

It's the most OCD thing in the

37:54

world to say, here's a guide in every

37:56

social scenario, how you better act or

37:58

I'm going to be twitching at the eye

38:00

and kicking you out of my fucking

38:02

house. So my mother had, my brother got

38:04

engaged and married quite young, 20. 122

38:06

engage at 21 married at 22 right and

38:08

my mother had bought the Ida buttress

38:10

etiquette guide to weddings and we were going

38:12

to follow this whether we fucking liked

38:14

it or not right and there was things

38:17

that I had to sing because I

38:19

was at that stage in the school musicals

38:21

I had to sing something at the

38:23

fucking wedding which I was like oh god

38:25

right but then there was a bit

38:27

that During

38:29

the speeches, the groomsman

38:31

goes first and he is

38:33

always to compliment the bridesmaids and

38:35

the bridesmaids are always to

38:37

lift up their hand and wave

38:39

and this type of rubbish,

38:42

old English shit, right? the

38:44

father of the groom who has nothing

38:47

to do, right? This cut has nothing

38:49

to do. Historically, he doesn't even have

38:51

to pay for anything. He just has

38:53

to show up, right? He doesn't have

38:55

to walk anyone down the aisle. He's

38:57

the father of the groom. Brilliant.

39:00

Oh, I'm over the moon. I'll be the

39:02

father of grooms. And if we are

39:04

my sons are gay, then hopefully they'll be

39:06

the... Hey, so father of the groom. Anyway,

39:09

so my mother found in the

39:11

book that the father of the groom

39:13

is meant to toast the queen. Right?

39:18

In a room. And also it's such

39:20

a risky ask because it's like the

39:22

whole room's not monarchists. There's some

39:25

people who avidly dislike the royal

39:27

family. Now he was getting married to

39:29

a Irish Republican, which is

39:31

that against etiquette? He was getting married

39:33

to my sister -in -law, who I've

39:35

known since I was 13 years

39:37

old. They've been dating for a

39:39

long time. And she's Australian Danish descent.

39:42

Even the date, you know

39:45

I mean? So my father,

39:47

I remember thinking, geez, dad's

39:49

not gonna like this. I was only a young kid,

39:51

I was like 16 or something like that, and I

39:53

was like, fucking dad's not gonna be happy about this. And

39:56

all he had to stand up was, and

39:58

stand up and say, to

40:00

the queen. And lift his glass

40:02

up like this, right? And

40:05

now someone like the emcee, the

40:07

minister of ceremonies, which we know.

40:09

Right? Is that what it means?

40:12

Master. Master. Master. Master. Master. Master. Master. Master. Master. Master. Master.

40:14

Master. Master. Master. Master. Master.

40:19

Master. Master. Master. Master.

40:32

And the poor fella was pushed

40:35

on it. Although

40:37

we still kind of do that now

40:39

with a lot of modern weddings. There's always

40:41

a really fabulous gay friend who's there

40:43

to the Queen. Have you

40:45

seen to the Queen? I

40:49

had a buttress to the Queen. Anyway, speaking of

40:51

old people dying. Yeah, okay. We should actually get into

40:53

what happened this week. We

40:55

should talk about what's happening at this moment. Number

40:57

one, the Queen died. A

40:59

while ago. Well, I'm just giving

41:01

us an edit option. Yeah. No,

41:04

you said I keep this out. This

41:06

is all shit. Speaking of speaking of death,

41:08

the Pope is dead. The Pope's dead.

41:10

He met he met JD Vance one day.

41:13

Yeah. The next day he was dead. Next

41:15

day he was dead. And J .D. Vance

41:17

was like, it's good to see you up

41:19

and about again. You know what I like?

41:21

It was like his last moments of breath.

41:24

His last moments of breath with J .D.

41:26

Vance. You know what I liked is, you

41:28

know, all the popes throughout my life have

41:30

ridden around the popemobile covered with plastic. There

41:32

was a Trevor... Trevor Cook used to

41:35

say he looked like a big tic -tac,

41:37

right? It was a Trevor Cook joke that

41:39

he looked like a big tic -tac. But

41:41

he's always in the Pope Mobile and

41:43

then you saw the Pope at the end

41:45

there and he was just, he was

41:47

JFK 'ing it. He was just like, leave

41:49

me in the open air, bring

41:52

children up to me, I'll pat

41:54

them on the head because if you were

41:56

going to assassinate the Pope, in that last

41:58

little bit you were wasted aboard. Well you

42:00

know they're not allowed euthanasia so it's like

42:02

I'll just put myself in the position. They

42:04

are allowed euthanasia there who make our phones.

42:07

Not anymore. He's 88

42:10

years of age. What's he talking about?

42:13

Jack was that joke acceptable? They are allowed euthanasia

42:15

that's all right keep it in. I just

42:17

said not anymore because of the tariffs, which they've

42:19

actually caved on because they realized the phone

42:21

might be nine and a half thousand dollars. No,

42:23

no, they had to cave on the tariffs

42:25

on the phones because it's like we don't have

42:27

the technology or the children to make them.

42:30

So Pope Francis was 88 years of age, born

42:32

in Bodice, here's a good one, worked as

42:34

a bouncer. It's his first proper

42:36

job. He's a janitor and he worked as a bouncer. For

42:38

what club? I don't know which bar

42:40

exactly I haven't been down there to

42:42

pop in. He

42:45

is the 266th

42:47

Pope. Okay. I believe I've

42:49

had three popes in my lifetime. Right. I

42:51

might be wrong. Right. When was John Paul

42:53

too? He died. I know he

42:55

died, but when did he start? I think

42:57

I've had three popes in my life. John Paul

42:59

died when I was in great. Like it

43:01

must be like 2005. But what was the start

43:03

of his reign? Is it called a reign? His

43:06

papacy. His papacy. John

43:10

Paul to because they used to when they

43:12

when they came they all chanted John died in

43:14

2005. We love you. Yeah 2005 when did

43:16

he start? He was he

43:18

began in 1978 until 2005. Okay, so

43:20

it turns out I've actually had four

43:22

popes There was another bloke in 1977

43:24

because I was alive in 1977 but

43:26

so really in my lifetime I've had

43:28

the three popes that I can remember

43:30

all right and John Paul to who

43:32

was a who was a goalkeeper for

43:34

Poland Did you know that? Well, that

43:36

was his position He was a goalkeeper.

43:38

He was a professional goalkeeper. John

43:41

Paul II. Yeah. I just knew

43:43

he was in Poland in communism. I

43:45

didn't know he was a goalkeeper.

43:47

He was a goalkeeper. But how

43:49

good, though, is what I'm saying. I goalkeeper.

43:51

Check out how good a goalkeeper John Paul

43:53

II was. Because I thought he played for

43:55

Poland, but he might have just played for

43:57

a domestic club. He might have played for

43:59

Warsaw or something like that or Krakow. He

44:03

was called Lolek the Goalie in

44:05

his youth. Yeah. But

44:08

I don't think he played. Pope

44:10

John Paul was also known for his love of skiing,

44:12

hiking and other sports. I did know about Pope John

44:14

Paul. He was one of the most athletic physiques when

44:16

they came in there and he had trouble getting into

44:18

the robes because they had a lot of portly fellas,

44:20

like it didn't fit him well. Yeah, he was all

44:22

right. So John Paul too, he lasted

44:24

forever. Then we had the Nazi in the middle. He

44:26

wasn't long. Ratzinger? Yeah, he wasn't.

44:28

Well, Ratzinger was there for a while. He

44:30

was a Hitler use. Ten years. Did

44:32

we get out of him? No, I think

44:34

maybe even 2005 until 2013. So

44:37

less. Yeah, less. So we got a little burst

44:39

of him. And then he had to resign and

44:42

then Pope Francis came in and it was a

44:44

progressive overhaul of the church, which made a lot

44:46

of people very, he was very divisive by the

44:48

end. This last Pope was my favorite because he

44:50

was, oh, I tell you what, I was at

44:52

the bank. I was at the bank and I

44:54

will quote the lady in front of me at

44:56

the bank. She goes up to the counter, old

44:58

person, right? walks with the

45:01

counter and the lady behind the

45:03

counter says, hello, how are

45:05

you today? And she goes, I'm

45:07

not doing good, sweetie. I'm

45:09

very upset about the pulp. And

45:11

I'm Jewish. That's

45:14

what she said. He was an

45:16

environmentalist. He blessed the gays without

45:19

giving them marriage. He was all

45:21

right with the gays. He didn't

45:23

condemn them to hell. So

45:25

I appreciate that. You know, the other thing

45:27

about him was this whole thing of, which I

45:29

always laughed at was they loved the fact

45:31

that when he got in, he washed the feet

45:33

of people, right? This is a big thing.

45:35

They go, he washed 12 prisoners' feet. And

45:38

I understand that's some like Jesus thing about washing

45:40

the feet. I don't even like a foot massage. I

45:42

can't think of a weirder thing because this would

45:44

have been a press tour. And they're like, the Pope's

45:46

going to wash your feet. You'd go, I'm all

45:48

right. Well, come on. We need some people who want

45:50

to get their feet washed. I'll

45:53

take a therogun, a back rub

45:55

maybe. I would have taken in some

45:57

nail polish and go, I like

45:59

this color. You want

46:01

him like a Vietnamese? Yeah, I want him in

46:03

there, in one of those little foot bars. want a

46:06

pedicure? And then he pushes back your thing on your

46:08

nails. Then he makes sure you're,

46:10

I hate, I've had a pedicure once, I

46:12

didn't like it. So I never understood that

46:14

one, because that must have been in the

46:16

Jesus time, people walk barefoot or sandals. So

46:18

washing the feet, sort of meant something. In

46:20

the modern era, it's very symbolic. I get

46:22

it. He was a pope for the poor

46:24

and the downtrodden. And of late, he had

46:27

a lot of critique from, you know, MAGA

46:29

people because he was always condemning the Trump

46:31

administration about refugees and he was an open

46:33

borders person. Who do you suggest is a

46:35

pope? Now, I think we go young. I

46:37

don't, I want, I want to have one

46:39

more pope to see me out. This

46:42

is the thing about there's one more just

46:44

give me a pope that's going to give us

46:46

a good 30 years So see me out

46:48

35 years, whatever the difference between this and the

46:50

election if you think about all this is

46:52

I was reading about who the contenders are and

46:54

they said if someone's young There goes against

46:56

them because it means they're gonna have a long

46:58

reign Where's they want people near death? So

47:00

in case they're sort of not so good They

47:03

only get a few years before Why did

47:05

you go all Croatiany? It's because they're not so

47:07

good. Not so good? Yeah. Yeah. And so

47:09

like if people, it's basically, it's like

47:11

the US election where you'd have like a Biden because you'd

47:13

go, you'll have like five years and it'd be dead. But

47:16

if it's a 40 year old, it's

47:18

a rain and that's a long ass job. You

47:21

got to go until you die or

47:23

there's, you know, it's proven that you've hidden

47:25

pedophilic rings. But that's what my problem

47:27

with them is that they're all, they've all.

47:30

Not all of them. No, no, no.

47:32

They're not all pedophiles, but they have all

47:34

turned a blind eye to. They haven't.

47:36

They've all condoned and let it happen. They

47:38

have. They've all got blood on their hands. They

47:40

should have been a bigger inquest and they should

47:43

have been fucking naming and shaming at the fucking

47:45

pedophiles in the Catholic Church. This would

47:47

be an interesting one because they tried to go. So

47:49

Francis was a progressive pope. He tried to make it

47:51

more modern. And everyone I

47:53

know who's gone back into Catholicism likes

47:55

it to be way less modernized and more

47:57

ancient Because if in my opinion if

47:59

you're going to the church, I know I

48:01

know some people who believe in a

48:03

pope from 400 years ago And they think

48:06

that the last popes have been too

48:08

much well post Vatican II in the 60s

48:10

where they sort of modernized everything if

48:12

I go as a once Catholic who dips

48:14

my toe into the water here and

48:16

there I love you believe in God. Yes.

48:18

I love the custom of

48:20

like Gregorian chanting. I like the

48:22

mass in Latin because I

48:24

don't really want to focus on

48:26

what's being said. I like

48:28

it for the meditative, quiet place.

48:31

You're like, what, it make you help

48:33

me? Like, it calms you down. Dude,

48:36

when I go occasionally, I've gone

48:39

with some friends to the Latin

48:41

mass. You go there, it's

48:43

quiet. It's beautiful.

48:45

It's not beautiful. Oh,

48:47

church is beautiful. Oh, not in America.

48:49

fucking strip malls. Oh, I have been to

48:51

no, I've been to church. I've been

48:54

you've got a little more in Florence. You

48:56

don't I have some transcendent. I have

48:58

been to famous churches. I walked on the

49:00

we walked on the roof of one

49:02

in Milan the other day. Yeah. Remember that?

49:04

What was that one? It was another

49:06

diamond in Milan. And then and then you

49:09

and then you go inside and you're

49:11

like this more like fucking clean these windows.

49:13

They look all stained. Can't

49:15

see out of the fucking things. Pointless.

49:18

You've never put a window there.

49:20

It's put a wall. You've never

49:22

once wandered around medieval towns and

49:24

thought, well, this is maybe inspired. I

49:27

don't need to see another church in my life. I've

49:29

seen them all over the world. fucking

49:31

shit. And as soon as I

49:33

walk in, I think bad shit's gone down in

49:35

this room. In this room, a child's been molested.

49:37

Bad shit's gone down in this room. And how

49:39

do you feel when you go to the movie

49:41

studios you work at? What do you think's happened

49:43

there? I think good vibes. Yeah, yeah.

49:45

Well, yeah, but they've never

49:47

paid me to go and do

49:49

a church. How

49:52

about at the gyms at schools? Why

49:55

am I going into the gyms at schools?

49:57

I'll tell you, my memories of the changing

50:00

rooms at school wasn't exciting. My pubes were

50:02

one of the last ones to come in.

50:04

I wasn't over the moon about getting changed

50:06

in that room. That was a terrible bit

50:08

of your childhood. I remembered that

50:10

there. Like you would have been one of those

50:12

hairy kids at 12, right? Where you would have

50:14

just been. No, I was actually, the creations are

50:16

not that hairy, unfortunately. When did this

50:18

happen? We're not hairy. Look

50:20

at us. Have you? I've met your mum.

50:22

Yeah. You think my mum's here?

50:24

I met your mum. I'm just waiting for

50:26

someone to get a nice photo of her so

50:28

we can all agree the Bigfoot's real. Come

50:30

on now. You can't say my mum's both a

50:32

milf that you fucked and Bigfoot. No, I

50:34

like your mum. That's fine. One attack cloud on

50:36

my mother. trots, trots if you're listening. I'm

50:41

sorry for what I said. And

50:43

if you want to respond in a

50:45

video and put your hoof down

50:47

three times, I'll take that as a

50:49

thank you. So this Pope chose

50:51

not to live in, there's a palace.

50:54

Have you ever been to the Vatican? I've been

50:56

to the Vatican, I've seen the Sistine

50:58

Chapel. It's funny, I'll tell you a quick

51:00

story. So my parents, my

51:03

father proposed to my mother sitting in

51:05

the gutter at the front of

51:07

the Vatican. In the

51:09

Vatican, and I'll reenact what I think

51:11

happened. So, we've

51:13

been traveling a

51:15

bit and... We should

51:18

just stay together. We could be

51:20

married. Okay,

51:22

Gary. Did he have the

51:24

ring? I don't know. But I don't think it

51:26

was... Anyway, he proposed to in the gutter outside of

51:28

the Vatican. You'd want to try the tomatoes here

51:30

as well, by the way. This is the thing. So

51:32

my mother's telling me this story. We're sitting out

51:34

the front of the Vatican and your father, he doesn't

51:36

even get on one knee. We're just sitting there

51:38

and he just asked me then. That's what he just

51:41

asked me. And he goes, and dad doesn't remember.

51:43

He's like, where were we? And

51:45

he goes out the front of the Vatican,

51:47

Gary. The Vatican. The

51:50

Sistine Chapel? Sistine,

51:53

yeah. He goes, it

51:55

had that place over the road that sold

51:57

the very thin pizzas. That's

52:00

how he remembered it. That's how he remembered

52:02

it. It sold the lovely thin pizzas. People

52:04

find God in their own places, Jim.

52:08

There's beauty in a nice thin

52:10

crust Roma pizza. But

52:12

when you went there, you may notice

52:14

there is like these apostolitic palace or

52:16

whatever it's called, where a lot of

52:18

the popes had been. And then this

52:20

bloke in his shtick as the man

52:22

of the people, he stayed in like

52:24

a one or two bedroom sort of

52:27

average apartment. Do you think

52:29

the next one feels the pressure

52:31

to stay? Poor or is

52:33

like I'll be moving the bed into the

52:35

Sistine Chapel and the tourist I think I

52:37

think you want to live in the Sistine

52:39

Chapel, right? You want to live at the

52:41

Vatican the Vatican's its own country, right? So

52:43

you want to you want to live you're

52:45

the king of the full town, but you're

52:47

the king of the country, right? Yeah, but

52:49

you're meant to be this sort of shepherd

52:52

this Please have you been into these churches

52:54

all the gold? That's what I'm saying Francis

52:56

was like he turned his back on that

52:58

whereas I think the next one's gonna bling

53:00

out massively Get all the stolen art, you

53:02

know, all the artwork. I reckon they bring

53:04

back the big ornate crosses. Maybe get a

53:06

grill. Something says

53:08

Pope. Oh, yeah. Yeah, a bit

53:10

of fun. Boy, did you know anyone who is

53:12

a baptized Catholic can go in the running?

53:14

I reckon the Pope hats. I reckon the Pope

53:16

hats or even the Yarmulkes for the Jewish

53:18

people. I reckon that was just a bloke who

53:20

was going bald, who was just

53:23

like, and God wants us to wear hats

53:25

just at the back. Just

53:27

in the back bit. That's

53:29

what he's asked I just like letting

53:31

you have a that's an out. I

53:33

think that's very funny. No, okay, so

53:35

I stand by that joke I fuck

53:38

yourself and if you sit in your

53:40

car at home, I hope you enjoyed

53:42

it I was reading about sitting in

53:44

your car at home And you got

53:46

the garage shut like If you see

53:48

at home listening to this that makes

53:50

sense actually I tried to top me

53:52

so the other day I started the

53:55

car in the garage and left the

53:57

garage door shut fucking Tesla Very

54:00

good. I was just waiting for it to catch on fire. The

54:04

betting odds. Yeah. On,

54:06

on. Next Pope. Oh, I

54:08

thought you're going to go the NBA finals.

54:10

Okay. Let's go next Pope. Lewis Hamilton. Pietro

54:14

Parolin. I'm just going to get you to pick

54:16

one randomly without any. All right. Give me the, give

54:18

me. Mark Olivet. Ovalet, sorry. Give me

54:20

the odds and I'll put some money on. Well,

54:22

we're not to do it. I mean, this is, that's

54:24

sort of antithet. That's very. sacrilege, isn't

54:26

it? I don't believe in God. This is open slather

54:28

for me. If you want me to be, it's like when

54:30

I watch a Super Bowl. I don't watch a lot

54:32

of American football. So I like to get you involved. All

54:34

right. Although what's the

54:36

movie him? I'll read you

54:39

the contestants. You like

54:41

that? Yeah. Okay. Here we go.

54:43

So next. Pope.

54:46

Odds. One of them is, uh,

54:48

there's a couple of African fellows. Oh,

54:50

I mean, I mean, because they're the

54:53

super conservative ones, you see. Why are

54:55

they so conservative? Have you

54:57

ever spoken to an African dad? I

55:00

have yes. Yes. Yes.

55:02

What do you think? You think they're super

55:04

progressive woke over there? Well, it's not like I've

55:06

ever been dating one of their daughters in

55:08

Africa and then he's come up to me and

55:10

said, hey, what this is, you know, there

55:12

was some tuck in their last purpose about the

55:14

message. Don't do the voice. I can't do

55:17

their voice. I know a few things about about

55:19

the world at the moment. And don't do

55:21

the voice. Look, mate, you're on Fox now. I

55:23

tell you, don't do the voice. Okay,

55:26

here's the front runners. You

55:28

can tell us who. There's

55:31

Louise Antonio Tagle. He's

55:33

Italian. He's actually

55:35

Filipino. 67 years of age,

55:37

considered a strong contender. We haven't had

55:39

an Asian Pope, have we? We have not.

55:42

Ah, Asian Pope versus African. Look,

55:45

look, look, I know diversity hiring has

55:47

gone crazy and everyone gets angry with it.

55:49

But I think for the Pope, I

55:51

think we go diversity. I think

55:53

if we had anything but white. No,

55:56

we've never, we may have like - We've

55:58

had some - Old history. Was there a black

56:00

Pope? I don't think so. But for the

56:02

most part, they've all been

56:04

white guys. Yeah, it's used, we haven't had an

56:06

Aussie, mate. Have we had a woman? We're

56:08

not ready for that. We're not

56:10

ready for that. We're not ready for

56:12

that. Let's go Filipino or an

56:14

African. So you've got Filipino. You've got

56:16

Pietro Parolin from Italy. Yeah, Italy.

56:18

Peter Turksen from Ghana. Peter Turksen. Peter

56:21

Turksen sounds like he's from Geelong. I

56:23

like the sound of Peter Turksen. I'd like

56:25

an Aussie wog. Like a hardcore

56:27

Aussie -Italian is like this. I just

56:29

think the church needs to move

56:31

forward but also remain the same. Bro,

56:34

look, this is the thing about

56:36

the church. Like, fucking,

56:38

let's be, let's, another

56:40

Christmas. Let's find another

56:42

celebration where you get presents and

56:44

shit. Two Christmases. Two Christmases. Two Christmases.

56:46

And then Easter, let's bring about

56:48

Easter Monday. You know, is that

56:50

about America? You know, Australia, you won't

56:52

know this, Americans, but in Australia, we get

56:54

Monday off work as well. I know. We

56:56

get Monday couldn't believe I didn't get that.

56:58

Yeah, Easter Monday. You guys don't have Easter

57:01

Monday. You get two weeks holiday of the

57:03

year. The rest of the world gets four.

57:05

The Germans get eight. I think the the

57:07

French get like six and you guys get

57:09

two weeks holiday a year and they've taken

57:11

Easter Monday off you. fucking cunts.

57:13

It's how how the how the

57:15

Americans don't uprise every now and again

57:17

about the two weeks holiday. If

57:19

I was a working bloke who just

57:21

had a proper job and I found out

57:23

that the rest of the world had Basically,

57:26

four weeks paid holiday versus your two weeks.

57:28

I would be fuming. Well, it's because of

57:30

that. They're uncompetitive. And that's why America's number

57:32

one is because they grind us into the

57:34

ground. Then stop buying all of our stuff.

57:37

Yeah, those pussies over there in Europe,

57:39

they get time off for a vacation.

57:41

And that's why we actually, we don't

57:44

make anything here. But that's why they're

57:46

failing. That's why we're number one. That's

57:48

why I work myself to an early grave

57:51

and I get cancer in my ass for the

57:53

food that's poisoned and no one pays me

57:55

for it. I always thought part of the deal

57:57

was that you got extra things. You got

57:59

of July. You got Thanksgiving. So you got these

58:01

extra things added on top that's sort of

58:03

made up for a bit and you're taking away

58:05

Easter Monday, you cunts. In a very religious

58:07

society, I thought we would have more time. But

58:10

they have the Easter Bunny we're in Australia

58:12

and we do not. I

58:14

did think in there. So the conclave, I

58:16

don't know if you watched the movie. You've got

58:18

very bored by it. I watched it on

58:20

a plane. But obviously, so the Cardinals do a

58:22

vote and they needed two -thirds majority. Yeah, it's

58:24

such a proxy. They put it and then

58:26

they burned things. What would you think of this?

58:29

What would you think? If there's

58:31

1 .37 billion Catholics out there,

58:33

wouldn't you enjoy just for one

58:35

time if they did? a pope

58:37

election, the way we do a

58:39

US election, and they had debates, attack

58:42

videos, and the candidates

58:44

tried to get us to vote.

58:46

Why can't we see debates? Well,

58:49

it's all done privately. Yeah, but why

58:51

can't the people, we have to follow

58:53

this person, the Catholics have to follow

58:55

the person. Why can't they see like

58:57

at least a mission statement? Well,

59:00

I mean, listen, I'll give you a more left

59:02

-wing perspective of this. Are you happy with the

59:04

outcome of most elections currently? Oh,

59:07

no, no, no. The pulp was

59:09

rigged. I'm going to storm the Vatican.

59:11

Because if it was up

59:14

for election, there would

59:16

be some Chancellor Priest who's

59:18

just like, if you vote

59:20

for me, all the art, I'm

59:22

giving it away. We're giving away

59:24

the art. We're letting priests fuck

59:26

again. We're going to drain the

59:28

swamp. Drain the Vatican swamp. Drain

59:30

the Vatican swamp. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think if

59:32

there was a bloke who came in and said,

59:34

we're going to get rid of A populist priest.

59:36

We're going to get all the pedophiles out and

59:38

priests are going to be able to fuck because

59:40

that's the reason that the pedophiles are there is

59:43

because of the no fucking. And there'd be female

59:45

priests. Yeah. Ah, there's already female priests, isn't there?

59:47

Yeah, not in the Catholic faith. Oh, not in

59:49

the Catholic. What is wrong with Catholics? I

59:51

was watching a documentary on JFK and that

59:53

was like the big thing when he was running

59:55

for election. We've never had a Catholic in

59:57

the White House. Yeah, there was still like anti

59:59

-Catholic sentiment when I was growing up because my

1:00:01

grandmother was an Anglican and she was like,

1:00:04

you're one of those Catholics. Yeah, isn't it weird?

1:00:06

What a weird bigotry. So in Australia, we

1:00:08

say H or we say H, right?

1:00:10

You say H or H? H.

1:00:12

But you've heard people say H, right?

1:00:15

Hudson with a H, right? H

1:00:18

is meant to be how Catholics say

1:00:20

the word H in Australia and the

1:00:22

rest of it. And so my mother

1:00:24

would always go, oh, he

1:00:26

said H like a Catholic.

1:00:30

That must have been upsetting. Well, it's also

1:00:33

anti -Irish sentiment as well, isn't it? I

1:00:35

hate the Irish. I was a Croat,

1:00:37

so you've got to be Catholic. Anyway,

1:00:39

man, I know why you hate so many

1:00:41

people. Who do I hate? Which

1:00:44

one? When you start putting stickers in your case

1:00:46

enough that you have magnets in your fridge and

1:00:48

you put the Johnny Cash one up there just

1:00:50

to stir me up. I didn't put it there

1:00:52

to stay. You put it there just to stir

1:00:54

me up. I got on it. Jim hates Johnny

1:00:56

Cash. I got on at the Ryman. I got

1:00:59

out of the Johnny Cash room and I started

1:01:01

off by saying Johnny Cash is shit and Jack,

1:01:03

did I get some booze to begin with?

1:01:07

But I won him round. I won him

1:01:09

round. Like standing up at

1:01:11

the Ryman, the Grand Old Operate, and

1:01:13

saying, Johnny Cash is shit, and here's my

1:01:15

reasoning. It was a tough call,

1:01:17

because it could have ruined the whole gig. At least Johnny

1:01:19

Cash didn't bloody do a game show. He's

1:01:21

a bloody artist, mate. Johnny Cash was too

1:01:23

busy. He would have done a fucking game

1:01:26

show if he got off game. My name

1:01:28

is Johnny Cash, and welcome to Jeopardy. Look.

1:01:31

How many comedians have done game shows?

1:01:33

I'll tell you all the comedians

1:01:35

that Drew Carey's done a game show

1:01:37

I've done one there's two Steve

1:01:39

Harvey Steve Harvey Everyone who's ever done

1:01:41

family feud all over the world

1:01:43

Bob Saget used to do funniest home

1:01:45

videos You know Bob Saget was

1:01:47

the dirty comic who did a lot

1:01:49

of clean -cut things full house was

1:01:52

a clean -cut thing. You could look

1:01:54

mate. I'm not just a comedian.

1:01:56

I'm an entertainer You put me in

1:01:58

front of things, I'll try to

1:02:00

be entertaining. I'll try to be entertaining

1:02:02

wherever you put me. Even

1:02:04

now, I'm not being funny. Would we get an album? Look,

1:02:07

I tell you what, I had

1:02:09

an opportunity that I couldn't do

1:02:12

because of a scheduling thing to

1:02:14

sing a Christmas Carol on a

1:02:16

TV show. How

1:02:18

many threats are you, do you think? Are

1:02:20

you a double threat? No, no, no,

1:02:22

no. I can do everything, but I'm not

1:02:24

threatening. I'm

1:02:27

four times unthreatening. Four

1:02:30

times meek. Triple unthreat. You

1:02:33

give it a go. Yeah. I'm

1:02:35

just, I'm not threatening. I'm like this. I'm

1:02:37

like, I'll put that down. Put

1:02:40

that down. So you got comedy?

1:02:42

Comedy. That's my best, right? Hosting?

1:02:44

Hosting. I can TV host. You

1:02:46

think you're a better host or

1:02:48

actor? Podcaster. No. Podcaster

1:02:50

you get yeah actor going a

1:02:52

long time at podcasting I would be

1:02:54

a better actor if I had

1:02:56

more opportunities to act But the problem

1:02:58

with acting is they need you

1:03:00

to be good right away And I

1:03:02

would like ten like major movies

1:03:04

so I could get really good first

1:03:07

I'd like you to lose a

1:03:09

few billion on me, but I'll get

1:03:11

the hang of it. Oh, yeah,

1:03:13

I'm about I'm about seven movies away

1:03:15

from being excellent So if any

1:03:17

casting agents are out there call me

1:03:20

I forgot what we were talking about saying to

1:03:22

you about my fucking stickers. No, no. Johnny

1:03:24

Cash. You said Johnny Cash wouldn't do

1:03:26

it. We've already done a podcast. I know. I

1:03:28

just, but we've got something else. Give me a

1:03:30

couple of other things I want to discuss because

1:03:32

there's, I feel like there's a lot to cut

1:03:34

on account of my lack of quality. I

1:03:38

know nothing ever gets cut. Who wants

1:03:40

this shit? What?

1:03:43

The slurs are the best bit. I

1:03:45

can't believe I'm doing a non slur based

1:03:47

show. Yeah, so he's gonna cut all the slurs

1:03:49

out. So this podcast will be down to

1:03:51

six minutes. Okay, so the

1:03:54

pro natalist movement, Jim. I'm sure what you

1:03:56

know about this. You know the bit

1:03:58

the cut though, Jack, earlier. You got that

1:04:00

bit. Yeah, yeah. Oh, so he

1:04:02

gets cuts. I'd like a lock

1:04:04

cut for quality purposes on my behalf.

1:04:06

No, I only cut career. I cut

1:04:08

career savers. Okay.

1:04:12

Where was I this is what I

1:04:14

want to discuss with you from the

1:04:16

beginning I can't believe it also come

1:04:18

out and see me in Chicago at

1:04:20

the Vic theater coming up because I'll

1:04:22

be recording my special very soon and

1:04:25

May 2nd and 3rd May 2nd and

1:04:27

3rd am I right Jack Vegas Las

1:04:29

Vegas at the Plaza Hotel Plaza Hotel

1:04:31

is my first time new gig for

1:04:33

me used to do different casino come

1:04:35

and see me in Vegas ladies and

1:04:37

gentlemen. That's always a fun one Well,

1:04:39

while we're doing that, you can see

1:04:42

me in Toronto, Tacoma, Spokane, Nashville. I'm

1:04:44

excited about going to Nashville again. Well, it's

1:04:46

gonna be the thing about the dot, dot,

1:04:48

dot, dot, dot. And Greenville

1:04:50

and... What's that other

1:04:52

place there? Charlotte. big

1:04:55

one. Well, I really want to sell

1:04:57

tickets to my recording of my special.

1:05:00

That'll be sold out. And Los Vegas. Oh, there's

1:05:02

specials all but sold out. And it was

1:05:04

rescheduled and everything. So the pro -Natalist movement is

1:05:06

here to address... What is a declining birth rate

1:05:08

around the world? What do you mean? We've

1:05:10

got too many people, but we have too many

1:05:12

people. Well, we have too many old people,

1:05:15

but not enough people having children. Japan or Chinese

1:05:17

that have the one child policy? What are

1:05:19

you talking about, Amos? This seems all very weird

1:05:21

to me. There's... unfortunately going to be

1:05:23

a really massively aged population. So problem is

1:05:25

we have too many old people and not enough

1:05:27

little people to take care of the old

1:05:29

people. But why is there a waiting list to

1:05:31

get into all the private schools? Tell me

1:05:33

more Amos. I have no idea about American private

1:05:35

schools. It just feels like there's a lot

1:05:37

of like it's hard to get your kid into

1:05:39

places. Like when I was a kid you

1:05:41

could get into any sports team and stuff like

1:05:44

that. Now it's like oh there's a big

1:05:46

waiting list for everything. Well in 2023 this is

1:05:48

some data that's come out. 10

1:05:51

.74, baby's born per 1

1:05:53

,000, which was down another 2%. And

1:05:55

the average age of first -time mothers is

1:05:57

now 27 .5. Yeah, yeah, that's older.

1:05:59

That's much older than it used to

1:06:01

be. When you were growing up, if

1:06:03

a person had a kid, let's say

1:06:05

at 20, would that be gossip or

1:06:07

would that be, well, that's what's gonna

1:06:09

happen? 20 would still be gossip. 22,

1:06:13

23 would just be like normal, right? Yes.

1:06:15

Now, there was a girl at my

1:06:18

school who got knocked up. She

1:06:20

left the school in year 10 or whatever like that. And

1:06:22

she got knocked up at like 16 or something. There's

1:06:24

only one of them. But

1:06:27

my mother had me

1:06:30

at 35. I was her

1:06:32

last child. And from

1:06:34

all accounts, everyone was like,

1:06:36

oh, it's very old. Hopefully he comes

1:06:38

out okay. Like they were panicking. My mom

1:06:40

was in her 50s with my siblings.

1:06:42

Yeah, but she didn't actually produce the eggs.

1:06:44

She had them. put into it. She

1:06:46

hadn't put it in. Still like, and this

1:06:48

is the thing. And then they call

1:06:50

it a, like over 35, they call it

1:06:52

a geriatric pregnancy, which, to

1:06:56

whatever man named that,

1:06:58

great dig, bro. The

1:07:01

old fossil slags. A

1:07:04

geriatric pregnancy is 35

1:07:06

and up, where they, that's

1:07:08

the medical term, geriatric

1:07:11

pregnancy. So it's

1:07:13

like, it's like, It's like we

1:07:15

can't believe someone even fucked you at

1:07:17

that age. It's

1:07:20

a true miracle. Yeah, it's like the

1:07:22

eggs dry up when you become unfuckable, you

1:07:24

see. We didn't know that you'd

1:07:26

still be able to do it. Countries around

1:07:28

the world are trying to address this and

1:07:30

they've got different policies. So Hungary gives you

1:07:32

30 ,000 euros if you have more than

1:07:34

three. 500 ,000 yen lump

1:07:36

sum now in Japan because the

1:07:39

Japanese don't fuck. They

1:07:41

just don't do it. They're out

1:07:43

of their culture. Economically, they're struggling.

1:07:45

They're also locked away in the

1:07:47

sort of virtual reality world. And

1:07:49

they really don't like. No, we

1:07:51

did a whole thing in the gym. And

1:07:53

we spoke about this as well in the podcast

1:07:55

before. Now, America under Donald Trump is having

1:07:57

all of these discussions about how to get Americans

1:07:59

to start having kids again to address this. One

1:08:02

thing that's been tossed around at the

1:08:04

moment is a five thousand US dollar baby

1:08:06

bonus, which doesn't seem. That's not

1:08:08

going to be enough. The $30 ,000 one will make

1:08:10

someone have a fourth kid. That'll make someone have

1:08:12

a fourth kid because they'll, we'll get the $30 ,000

1:08:14

and then we'll figure it out. Or

1:08:16

they've suggested things like the Soviet Union.

1:08:18

But also what do we need? People

1:08:21

who are gamblers. You know what

1:08:23

I mean? Like a bit of cash. Like $30 ,000

1:08:25

don't go very far. And

1:08:27

that's what you have. Like kids are expensive.

1:08:29

Kids are really expensive. Hot take.

1:08:31

It cost a bit. Now in Australia we used

1:08:33

to do this and I remember there was

1:08:35

a link between paying the baby bonus and the

1:08:38

sale of flat screen televisions. Right.

1:08:40

Which was people would get knocked up and

1:08:42

they would immediately get that cash and just

1:08:44

buy sort of consumer house goods. Of course.

1:08:46

Which was the flurry which by the way

1:08:48

maybe that helps address the tariff war. This

1:08:50

is all part of that plan which is

1:08:52

we'll give you money, have a kid and

1:08:54

then buy some American made product. a believer

1:08:56

that you just replace yourself. Right. One,

1:08:59

so your wife gets one, you get one. So

1:09:01

it means you need two. Yeah,

1:09:03

look, I could have another one

1:09:05

because I've had, you know, there's two

1:09:07

women. So I, you know, I've

1:09:09

got one in the bank if I want

1:09:11

to. Right. But I've had the

1:09:13

vasectomy, so no more for me. And

1:09:16

different, okay, so different groups, so kind

1:09:18

of. Building in America talking about this

1:09:20

topic right and it's seen as some

1:09:22

sort of like right -wing movement now

1:09:24

called the pro -natalist movement and they had

1:09:26

a convention on the weekend I just

1:09:28

wanted to play you a piece that

1:09:30

I heard and get you to react

1:09:32

to this. Okay, so this is called

1:09:34

natal con There's always some cons that

1:09:36

are yeah comma con comma con. This

1:09:38

is natal con. I've listened to this

1:09:40

We're here at natal con which is

1:09:43

a gathering of about 200 people from

1:09:45

all over the world who have come

1:09:47

here because It's

1:09:49

200 people. That's not

1:09:52

a big con. It's not a

1:09:54

giant con. I love how she

1:09:56

goes 200 people from all over

1:09:58

the world. Like,

1:10:01

fuck it, Lake, Lake, Lake. Canada.

1:10:03

Look, look, I don't, I don't want to say

1:10:05

- One guy's from Brazil, we think. I don't

1:10:07

want to say it's a small amount of people,

1:10:09

but it's a sold out show for Amos Gil.

1:10:11

Well, it certainly suggests that we need more people. If

1:10:15

you go to that, that's the problem. All

1:10:17

these people believe the world's underpopulated because their convention

1:10:19

is so unpopular. They're like, where

1:10:21

is everyone? Are you people need to fuck? They're

1:10:23

just not here. They're wandering around like, there's no

1:10:25

one here. So 200 people start again. Keep going. You're

1:10:27

a football game. strongly that the

1:10:29

world needs more babies. There's a civilizational

1:10:31

catastrophe coming in. The way to solve

1:10:33

it is to have sex. Like, that's

1:10:35

gotta be the easiest pitch in history.

1:10:37

Birth rates around the world are plummeting.

1:10:39

All right, stop for a second. The

1:10:41

way to save it is to have

1:10:43

sex. That's gotta be the easiest pitch

1:10:45

in history. Yeah, but you,

1:10:47

you know, like, okay, if they're offering

1:10:49

for deadbeat dads, then it's not

1:10:51

a bad deal. What's a good ad

1:10:53

campaign just to be like, lads,

1:10:55

it feels better to leave it in.

1:10:59

That's not a bad deal. If you just,

1:11:01

like, I can have the kid with

1:11:03

no consequence to my own, I

1:11:05

just have to help people have the

1:11:07

kid? Yeah. Well, Elon Musk has been,

1:11:09

you know, asking to inseminate all sorts

1:11:12

of women in compounds. More of that,

1:11:14

fella. Here we go. The issue of

1:11:16

our time. It's a massive conversation, and

1:11:18

that's why we're here. We need to

1:11:20

encourage more people to get married and

1:11:22

have kids. We need those people to

1:11:24

be the people of the future. Many

1:11:26

countries are no longer having enough kids

1:11:29

to replace their populations. Some

1:11:31

experts predict this will cause

1:11:33

labor shortages and inflation, permanently changing

1:11:35

the economy. Which will result

1:11:37

in sort of retirement homes, but

1:11:39

also the world's worlds. No, we don't

1:11:41

need more kids. We just need

1:11:43

the old people dying earlier. Okay.

1:11:46

So that's why we had COVID leak.

1:11:48

Yeah, we just need seriously though. I

1:11:50

don't want old people to die. I'm

1:11:52

not saying, Hey, old people, if you're

1:11:54

listening right now, you should die, but.

1:11:56

The problem is that we, the world's

1:11:58

too crowded. We don't have a fucking, -

1:12:01

It's not crowded, we just all live in shit

1:12:03

cities. Housing's too expensive. Housing's too expensive.

1:12:05

It wasn't this expensive in the

1:12:07

90s and stuff like that because there's

1:12:09

supply and demand. People are demanding more

1:12:11

houses. We have more people moving into

1:12:13

the fucking cities because the old people

1:12:16

aren't giving up their fucking places. And

1:12:18

they have multiple homes. And they speculate

1:12:20

on homes and houses have become

1:12:22

investments instead of places to live. There

1:12:24

is that. What I

1:12:26

always say to my conservative friends when they

1:12:28

bang on all the time about the need

1:12:30

for families and big families is I agree.

1:12:32

However, what you need to do is make

1:12:35

the economy viable that people feel like they

1:12:37

can have kids because how many people do

1:12:39

I know my own age ago? I'd love

1:12:41

to have kids. We just don't think we

1:12:43

can do it financially. That's a

1:12:45

failed society. If people who live in

1:12:47

your society think they can't afford to have

1:12:49

kids, then you failed them flat. If

1:12:52

one job really to live is to

1:12:54

reproduce. okay and you have some fun

1:12:56

along the way and it's not for everyone but

1:12:58

ultimately what we're an organism that's here to have kids

1:13:00

you've had kids I have it's been good for

1:13:02

you you've enjoyed having children I've enjoyed it the highs

1:13:04

are high the lows are low so what and

1:13:06

I see a lot of people it's worth it it's

1:13:08

been worth it for me I love my kids

1:13:11

with everything but you know what you know what it

1:13:15

I don't know if my kids are going to make

1:13:17

me live longer or shorter. I used to do

1:13:19

a joke ages ago, which is one of my better

1:13:21

lines, which was, I love kids the same way

1:13:23

I love cigarettes. I like holding them for five minutes

1:13:25

every hour. And the rest of the time I

1:13:27

think about how they're killing me. And

1:13:29

I don't think I've ever said anything more

1:13:31

accurate. Because what you do. It's wonderful. And

1:13:33

you're like, oh, there's bloody thing. But you,

1:13:36

this is the thing about you. You

1:13:38

fucking look like your son. You watch

1:13:40

his baseball games. That's the bare

1:13:42

minimum, Amos. No, no, no. Not

1:13:44

just live you're watching it on your

1:13:47

phone and you want to talk to everyone

1:13:49

about your kids and you love playing

1:13:51

with your kids and I mean just even

1:13:53

knowing you since you've had kids Yeah,

1:13:55

no, I'm an involved father, but also a

1:13:57

better person for having children You're real

1:13:59

cunt before is what I'm getting out here

1:14:01

It's just growing up though, isn't it?

1:14:03

It's just a different phase of life like

1:14:05

like like you I don't even know

1:14:07

why you'd get up in the morning. What

1:14:09

do you have during the day? but

1:14:11

that's exactly what I was thinking about the

1:14:13

other day. I watched these things about dinks.

1:14:15

Do you know what a dink is? I'm

1:14:18

busy. I have a family. Exactly.

1:14:20

You've got other things going on. A dink is a

1:14:22

double income, no kids. Oh, everyone knows dinks, double income,

1:14:24

no kids. That was one of my mums. There are

1:14:27

a couple of dinks. They

1:14:29

know who good. They're just dinks. The dinks

1:14:31

down the street, double income, no kids.

1:14:33

It's like people would brag about, like, we're

1:14:35

dinks. Honestly, maybe this is

1:14:37

just because I'm depressed. Oh, you know

1:14:39

what I think? Dude, what is life?

1:14:41

Just think about this. People with kids don't

1:14:43

give a fuck about people without kids

1:14:45

getting divorced. We don't care. We all talk

1:14:47

about people who get divorced with that.

1:14:50

They go, and my marriage is over. Did

1:14:52

you have kids? No. No one gives a

1:14:54

fuck. Exactly. I'm really heartbroken right

1:14:56

now. What a division of assets. You

1:14:59

probably didn't even own a house you don't there

1:15:01

is no division of assets There's no nothing. It's the

1:15:03

same as any breakup. It's the same thing you

1:15:05

take your stuff I'll take my stuff. Goodbye kids is

1:15:07

where it like you have to pay for this

1:15:09

thing for the rest of your life No, and then

1:15:11

when the arguments happen a lot of times that

1:15:13

no, but you see like you see these double income

1:15:15

No kids people and they go we just get

1:15:17

to do as many fun things as my wife wants

1:15:19

me over the Easter Bunny You know, it's not

1:15:21

easy marriage. You're not selling it to people How

1:15:24

many of these like how many fun

1:15:26

things are there ultimately do you get into

1:15:28

your 30s? Every year now like this.

1:15:30

That's that time again. I do this thing

1:15:32

again Holidays I've been to that place

1:15:34

been to this place, and I'm not fabulously

1:15:36

wealthy But I've had a pretty lucky

1:15:39

life to go and do some cool things

1:15:41

around the world. I'm fucking we've traveled

1:15:43

in Europe. I'm fucking bored Like I'm ready

1:15:45

to go experience the world through the

1:15:47

eyes of a child now and and Not

1:15:49

think about my happiness in my career

1:15:51

at all fucking times. Oh, I There's there's

1:15:54

a group there was a group of

1:15:56

people that I know that work in the

1:15:58

Entertainment business and I saw him on

1:16:00

Instagram the other day and they're all and

1:16:02

I'll tell you who it is off

1:16:04

the air, but they're all people my age

1:16:06

who never had kids and They were

1:16:09

a whole big group of them and they

1:16:11

all went to Disneyland about 20 of

1:16:13

them right and they're all taking photos and

1:16:15

they were taking pictures of them on

1:16:17

like the river like on the on the

1:16:19

boat ride stuff like this and it's

1:16:21

like what are you doing what are you

1:16:23

you're just making the line like you're

1:16:26

just out of stuff to do yeah yeah

1:16:28

yeah but it's but it's like it's

1:16:30

for it's for kids for kids so I

1:16:32

go to do them because it's good

1:16:34

for my kids and you're like it's like

1:16:36

it's like I was into basketball but

1:16:38

then my son got into basketball and now

1:16:41

I'm really into basketball because there's another

1:16:43

thing to do with him You

1:16:45

know what I mean? You notice how

1:16:47

like no one really grows up anymore and

1:16:49

so like people in their 30s who

1:16:51

don't have kids. Like they go to Disneyland

1:16:53

and they start video gaming more or

1:16:55

less. Have you ever been on a Disney

1:16:57

cruise and seen a couple on the

1:16:59

cruise? Disney cruise. a lot of fucking freak.

1:17:01

I'm an adult. Yeah, yeah, but without...

1:17:03

I've been with my kids and there's people

1:17:05

without kids on the Disney cruise. They're

1:17:07

like, I'm Timon, he's Pumba. Yeah, yeah. And

1:17:09

wearing a t -shirt. All my money goes

1:17:11

to things Disney that my wife buys.

1:17:13

That's a real t -shirt. I

1:17:15

know, it's so... And it's like, if

1:17:18

you just had kids, you'd get to experience

1:17:20

Disney again, but it'd be far more

1:17:22

wholesome. But you're trapped eternally as a child.

1:17:24

You're meant to go kid, and then

1:17:26

you walk away from those things, you wander

1:17:28

through, you experience other elements of life,

1:17:30

then you have children, and you re -experience

1:17:32

the joy of your youth, both through the

1:17:35

eyes of the new child, and through...

1:17:37

you remember with nostalgia. You're not

1:17:39

meant to just live in nostalgia forever. You've

1:17:41

been trapped. One of the beautiful things about

1:17:43

having a child is that you, you know

1:17:45

how you like TV shows? You

1:17:47

have a show now that going to watch for

1:17:49

the rest of your life. There's a constant program

1:17:51

that you'll be checking. What's happening this season? They've

1:17:54

been kicked out of school. You

1:17:56

know what I mean? That's when abortion is a pilot

1:17:58

that didn't get off the... Yeah. Yeah,

1:18:05

abortion. This is my NBC

1:18:07

show. They got cancelled because of

1:18:09

COVID. Jeffries. You

1:18:11

still think about it sometimes. I still think about Jeffries.

1:18:13

Yeah, maybe I should have. Maybe

1:18:15

if I pushed a bit harder, we would have kept

1:18:17

it. Oh, well. I've got some

1:18:19

ideas to how to get people to have kids. Right.

1:18:21

What do you think of this one? We

1:18:23

probably have to move. I think this is good.

1:18:25

OK. I think

1:18:27

we should make it illegal. OK,

1:18:30

good. That was fun. to

1:18:32

have dogs unless you have children used to

1:18:34

do a joke about this about how people

1:18:36

always have the dogs to begin with and

1:18:38

then they go oh this is our baby

1:18:40

and then they have the actual kid if

1:18:42

you want a lot of them start ignoring

1:18:45

the dogs not ignoring them but the whole

1:18:47

like fur baby yeah you stop fur babying

1:18:49

like i've got this thing that's so precious

1:18:51

to me that's more precious than anything else

1:18:53

like we have pets at home we love

1:18:55

our pets but they're not kids man so

1:18:57

i think if you ban dogs you wouldn't

1:18:59

you wouldn't die for them You wouldn't die

1:19:02

from people use pets is like I would

1:19:04

I would I would die for my children

1:19:06

without hesitation To save their life without hesitation.

1:19:08

Would you yeah, I would I would I

1:19:10

would of course I would yeah, cause I

1:19:12

was on what scenario I Don't know it.

1:19:14

Okay, so let's say I have to jump

1:19:16

in front of a bus to push one

1:19:19

of them away knowing that the bus will

1:19:21

hit me Yeah, I would without hesitation never

1:19:23

seen you jump, but I get the point I

1:19:26

would physically do all I

1:19:28

can do with this fucking grotesque,

1:19:30

fat fucking body of mine. I'll

1:19:33

tell you what mine would jump to push

1:19:35

him and you would both die together. Yeah, my

1:19:37

knees are still intact. Right?

1:19:40

But of course I would, I would of course

1:19:42

I would, yes. If you made it illegal to

1:19:44

have dogs. Yes. Okay. And cats, like

1:19:46

just pets. Yes. Do you think people would feel so

1:19:48

alone that they go, oh fuck it, let's have

1:19:50

a family? I'm

1:19:53

being facetious but kind of real. Yeah, there would be some

1:19:55

people, but I don't think it would fix the issue. I

1:19:57

don't think it would be a I don't I mean, number one,

1:19:59

fix the economy so people feel like they can afford to

1:20:01

have children. I don't think it would take in a big

1:20:03

way. What? You

1:20:05

think people just would not have dogs anymore? Getting rid

1:20:07

of dogs. I'll tell you what I figured out about

1:20:09

dogs in Argentina, right? Dogs are all

1:20:11

wild in Iguazu, right? They're all just homeless

1:20:13

dogs everywhere. Just wondering around. None of them fighting

1:20:15

each other. Right? When you walk a dog

1:20:17

along with a lead and it sees another dog,

1:20:19

it goes, rah, and you gotta hold it

1:20:21

back and rah, and they're trying to sniff each

1:20:23

other's butts. When they're all just out in

1:20:25

society and they're all hanging out, they're not amazed

1:20:27

by seeing another dog. It's like, another dog,

1:20:29

man. All the dogs would chill because they all

1:20:31

live out the wild. You're giving a good

1:20:33

argument there for like letting your kids socialize with

1:20:35

each other rather than, you know, keeping them

1:20:37

at home and making them afraid of the world.

1:20:39

This is what I was getting to. Get

1:20:41

them to sniff each other. This is what I'm

1:20:43

saying. It's like this holding things back and

1:20:45

us all being in our little thing. If we

1:20:47

get out in the wild, that's why you

1:20:49

see very little agro at music festivals. I

1:20:52

think that's more than the MDMA. I know, but...

1:20:54

Dose up the dogs at MDMA. All right, we

1:20:56

should finish. I'll just play the rest of this

1:20:58

clip. Malcolm

1:21:06

and Simone Collins have four kids,

1:21:09

soon to be five, and are

1:21:11

some of the loudest advocates for pronatalism.

1:21:26

The problem is the people who have tons

1:21:28

of kids are always the biggest cunts

1:21:30

like the people have 10 kids 11 kids.

1:21:32

They're fucking cunts So that's the problem

1:21:34

you can't If you start having over five

1:21:37

kids, you can't give them all the

1:21:39

love and the attention they need. If you

1:21:41

have over five kids, you cannot see,

1:21:43

like, this one has an interest in here

1:21:45

and point them in the right direction. It's,

1:21:48

no, you're not meant to have that

1:21:50

many fucking kids. Well, listen to this Brazilian

1:21:52

guy. Natalcon helped double attendance for this

1:21:54

year's event, where the tickets cost $1 ,000. Wait,

1:21:57

what? like, spent all of my savings coming here, actually.

1:22:00

$1 ,000. Tickets cost $1 ,000. No wonder

1:22:02

these people can't have kids. They're

1:22:05

going to natal con. If I listen to this

1:22:07

guy, I'll tell you the only word right there is

1:22:09

con. Listen to this bloke. I think I think

1:22:11

I see what his idea is. Do you want to

1:22:13

have kids? Yes. Do you have you

1:22:15

don't have kids? No. How many do you

1:22:17

want to have? Well, minimum five. They want to

1:22:19

have my first 22. And then

1:22:21

I got to get on that. Yeah, no. Organizers

1:22:23

said they heard a lot of interest in matchmaking.

1:22:25

He was looking for a fuck. yellow wristbands to

1:22:28

singles to help them find each other. They gave

1:22:30

everyone in a single yellow bands and this guy

1:22:32

says he's come from Brazil because he knows these

1:22:34

women are bang out for it. Yeah.

1:22:37

I might go down to natal code with

1:22:39

my vasectomy. That is

1:22:41

the biggest con at natalcon is

1:22:43

blokes who turn up with a

1:22:46

vasectomy. That is fucking I Just

1:22:48

keep trying here's the t -shirt

1:22:50

that says I'll leave it in

1:22:52

with an arrow pointing down Well,

1:22:54

you know where to find me

1:22:56

next year natalcon They'll have a

1:22:58

picture of your face. Do not

1:23:00

like this man. Is it like

1:23:02

Comic Con? Can I dress up

1:23:04

as a superhero or something like

1:23:06

that? Just dress up as a

1:23:08

big baby. A big sperm. Yeah,

1:23:11

big sperm. So anyway, that's

1:23:13

natal con. It's gonna grow. They said it's

1:23:15

doubled in the last year. So it's gone from

1:23:17

100 to 200. So that means the world's

1:23:19

going fine. That means the population's

1:23:21

building. So have kids.

1:23:23

You think I should get

1:23:25

going? I'm getting old. I'm

1:23:27

30. I think your girlfriend

1:23:29

would be a fantastic mother.

1:23:32

And so I think she should have kids, but should

1:23:34

you have kids? No. Well,

1:23:36

I'm taking Seaman to a registered

1:23:38

post box. Make it at a

1:23:41

point right there. I'm

1:23:43

taking Seaman. Send

1:23:45

me your cum if you've got good DNA and

1:23:47

I'll put it in my girlfriend. Yeah, I'll get that.

1:23:49

I'm leaving in with a point down. I'll

1:23:52

give you that T -shirt, but you

1:23:54

have to wear it backwards. Okay. Well,

1:23:56

that's that's what's happening at this moment.

1:23:58

Pete Hegseth also leaked information of the

1:24:00

signal or something like right, we'll see

1:24:02

you. We'll see you week everyone. That

1:24:04

was a good one. Good night Australia.