0:00

right, so you want to master your habits, huh? Well,

0:03

you've come to the right place. Welcome

0:05

to your Atomic Habits cheat sheet. That's

0:07

right. We're diving deep into Atomic

0:09

Habits, breaking it down for anyone who's

0:11

ready to take control and build

0:13

those positive routines they've always wanted. Exactly.

0:17

This is season one, Atomic Habits

0:19

for Beginners. And today, we're

0:21

tackling episode two, the feedback loop

0:23

between habits and identity. This

0:25

episode is all about understanding why it feels

0:28

like such an uphill battle to kick

0:30

those bad habits and finally make those good

0:32

ones stick. Yeah, you know, we've all

0:34

been there, right? Trying to get

0:36

to the gym more often, eat a little healthier,

0:38

maybe meditate consistently. But those

0:40

good intentions, well, they often fizzle out

0:42

pretty quickly. Totally. It's like you start with all

0:44

this motivation and then bam, it's gone. And those habits

0:46

we're trying so hard to break, they just seem to

0:48

hang on for dear life. It could be

0:50

super frustrating. For sure. And the material

0:52

you sent over actually points out two major

0:54

reasons why this happens. One, we

0:56

might be trying to change the wrong

0:58

thing. And two, even if we're

1:01

focused on the right thing, we might be

1:03

going about it the wrong way. Okay, so let's

1:05

unpack that first point. If we're trying to

1:07

change the wrong thing, where

1:09

should we be directing our energy instead?

1:11

There's this really cool analogy in the

1:14

book that compares the process of change

1:16

to peeling back the layers of an

1:18

onion. What do you think about that? I

1:20

love that analogy. It's a perfect way to

1:22

visualize the different levels we need to

1:24

address for lasting change. So imagine

1:27

that onion, that outer layer, that's

1:29

our outcomes, the results we're aiming for.

1:31

Right, like losing 10 pounds, finishing that big

1:33

project at work, or learning to speak

1:35

conversational Spanish. Right, that's what we're trying to

1:37

achieve. And then if we peel back

1:39

that first layer, what do we find? processes.

1:41

This is the how we're going to reach

1:43

those outcomes. So, creating a

1:45

workout plan, setting up a system to manage

1:48

our tasks, or finding a language partner

1:50

to practice Spanish with, it's all about putting

1:52

the steps in place. And this is

1:54

where a lot of us put most of our focus when

1:56

we're trying to build new habits. We try

1:58

to change our behaviors directly at this process

2:00

level. But there's a deeper

2:02

level, isn't there? Absolutely. At the very

2:04

core of that onion, we have identity. And

2:07

this is all about who you believe

2:09

you are. It's your self -image, those deep -seated

2:11

beliefs you hold about yourself and the

2:13

world around you. It's like the foundation of

2:15

everything. Right. So it's not just about

2:17

the actions you take or the goals you

2:19

set. It's about your fundamental sense of self. And

2:22

the key point here, and this is where it

2:24

gets interesting, is that all three levels are important, but

2:27

the direction of change matters.

2:29

100%. We often start from the outside

2:31

in. We pick an outcome and then

2:34

try to force the processes to fit.

2:36

But there's a more powerful way to

2:38

approach habit change starting from the inside

2:40

out starting with identity

2:42

Okay, so that's where these identity based

2:44

habits come in right instead of

2:46

focusing on what we want to achieve

2:48

We shift our attention to who

2:50

we want to become Can you give us an

2:52

example of what this looks like in practice? Sure

2:54

Let's take the classic example of someone trying

2:56

to quit smoking if they're focused on the

2:58

outcome They might say I want to quit

3:00

smoking and then try all sorts of methods

3:02

to cut back patches gum cold

3:05

turkey. There are so many approaches out there.

3:07

But that's still operating at the outcome

3:09

and process levels, right? Exactly. But someone

3:11

working from an identity level might say, I

3:13

am not a smoker. It's a subtle but

3:15

powerful shift in how they see themselves. It's

3:18

not just about the behavior. It's about who

3:20

they fundamentally are. I see. The person

3:22

saying, I'm trying to quit, still

3:25

identifies as a smoker, just one who's

3:27

fighting the urge. But the person who

3:29

says, I'm not a smoker, they've redefined

3:31

their entire self concept. It's like they've

3:33

flipped a switch in their mind. So

3:35

what makes this identity level so crucial

3:37

for making lasting changes? Well, think

3:40

about it. When we only

3:42

focus on outcomes and processes, we

3:44

often neglect the underlying beliefs

3:46

driving our behavior. And those

3:48

old ingrained beliefs can sabotage

3:50

our best efforts. It's

3:52

like trying to build a house on a foundation of

3:54

sand. It might look good for a

3:56

while, but it's not going to last. It's

3:58

like if you deep down believe you're not an

4:00

athletic person. Even if you drag

4:02

yourself to the gym a few

4:04

times, that underlying belief might eventually win

4:06

out. It makes me think

4:08

of that example in the book about Brian Clark

4:10

and his nail biting habit. He tried everything

4:12

to stop, but nothing really worked long term. Uh,

4:14

yes. Brian Clark. What did

4:17

he do? He got a manicure, right? Yeah. He

4:19

thought the cost of keeping up with

4:21

the manicures would deter him from biting his

4:23

nails. But what actually happened was

4:25

that seeing his nails looking so well

4:27

kept sparked this new sense of pride. And

4:30

the manicurist even complimented him on how

4:32

nice his nails were naturally. Right. And

4:34

that simple act of getting a

4:37

manicure completely shifted his identity. He started

4:39

to see himself as someone who

4:41

took pride in his appearance, specifically his

4:43

nails. And guess what? The

4:45

nail -biting habit that had plagued him for years,

4:47

it just vanished. It didn't align with his

4:49

new self -image anymore. It's amazing

4:51

how these small shifts in identity can lead

4:53

to huge changes in behavior. It's like

4:55

once you identify with something. You

4:57

naturally want to act in ways that support

4:59

that identity. Someone who

5:01

sees themselves as a creative person

5:03

will carve out time for

5:06

creative pursuits. Someone who

5:08

identifies as an adventurous person might

5:10

be more inclined to try

5:12

new things. It's this beautiful

5:14

self -reinforcing cycle. That's a great way

5:16

to put it. It's a cycle of

5:18

positive reinforcement, and that's why true behavior

5:20

changes. at its core identity change. Motivation

5:23

might get you started, but it's

5:25

that shift in your self perception that

5:27

keeps you going. You can force yourself

5:29

to follow new routines for a while,

5:31

but unless those routines become linked to a

5:33

change in your identity, they're unlikely to

5:35

become true habits. So we're constantly

5:37

sending signals to ourselves about who we

5:39

are through our actions, right? The

5:41

things we do or don't do reinforce our

5:43

beliefs about ourselves, whether we're aware of it

5:45

or not. Like that research you mentioned about

5:48

being a voter versus simply wanting to vote. Oh,

5:50

that's a fascinating study. They found

5:52

that people who identified as voters

5:54

were way more likely to actually

5:56

cast their ballots. It wasn't just

5:59

about wanting to participate in the

6:01

election. It was about aligning their actions

6:03

with their sense of self. Right.

6:05

It was about living in accordance with

6:07

their self -perception. Yeah. So if our

6:09

actions shape our identity and our

6:11

identity shapes our actions, that

6:13

means... We have the power to change. We can

6:15

choose who we want to be and then

6:17

start acting in ways that support that new

6:19

identity. But here's the thing. This

6:21

connection between identity and behavior can work

6:23

both ways. What do you mean? Well,

6:26

just as a positive identity can fuel

6:28

good habits, clinging to negative beliefs

6:30

about ourselves can make it much harder to

6:32

change. Those stories we tell

6:34

ourselves like, I'm not a morning person

6:36

or I'm terrible with money can become

6:38

self -fulfilling prophecies. They box us

6:40

in. That's so true. We get so

6:42

attached to these narratives about ourselves. The

6:44

more we repeat them, the more

6:46

ingrained they become. And then any action

6:48

that contradicts that story creates all

6:51

this internal resistance. It's no wonder it's

6:53

so hard to break free from

6:55

those patterns. Exactly. It all

6:57

comes down to that conflict between

6:59

who we want to be and who we

7:01

currently believe we are. That conflict can be

7:04

a huge roadblock. So it's not

7:06

just about building new habits. It's also

7:08

about being willing to question and maybe even

7:10

shed some of those old limiting beliefs

7:12

that no longer serve us. It's about letting

7:14

our identity evolve. So how do we

7:16

actually do that? How do we go about

7:18

changing our identity in a way that

7:20

supports lasting habit change? Well, the

7:22

book offers a really practical two -step

7:24

process. First, decide the type

7:26

of person you want to be. Exactly. It starts with

7:28

introspection. What are your core values? What

7:30

are the principles you want to live by?

7:32

What qualities do you admire in others?

7:34

Take some time to really envision your best

7:36

self. What does that person look like?

7:38

How do they act? What are their habits?

7:40

That's a great place to start. But what if

7:43

someone isn't exactly sure who their ideal self

7:45

is yet? Where do they even begin? If

7:47

you're feeling a little lost, try

7:49

working backward from your goals. Let's say

7:51

you want to improve your health.

7:53

Instead of focusing on losing weight, ask

7:55

yourself, what does a healthy person

7:57

do? They probably prioritize nutritious food, get

7:59

regular exercise, and make time for

8:01

quality sleep. So the

8:03

focus shifts from the outcome

8:05

to embodying the qualities of that

8:07

healthy person. I get it.

8:09

It's about being the person who

8:12

naturally achieves those desired outcomes. Precisely.

8:14

And here are some other examples from the

8:16

book. I'm the kind of teacher who creates engaging

8:18

lessons. I'm the kind of friend who's always

8:20

there to listen. I'm the kind of leader who

8:22

empowers their team. These are

8:24

identity -based aspirations that can guide

8:26

your actions and habits. I love

8:28

those examples. They're so clear and actionable. So

8:30

you decide who you want to be, and then

8:33

what's the next step? The second step

8:35

is to prove it to yourself with small wins.

8:37

Once you have a clearer vision of

8:40

your desired identity, it's time to

8:42

take action. Start with small,

8:44

consistent steps that align with that

8:46

identity. The book had a

8:48

fantastic story about someone who lost a

8:50

lot of weight by constantly asking themselves,

8:53

what would a healthy person do? Oh yeah.

8:55

Every time they faced a decision, they'd ask

8:58

themselves that question and it helped them

9:00

make healthier choices throughout the day. Exactly. And

9:02

each healthy choice became a small

9:05

victory. A piece of evidence

9:07

supporting their new identity as a

9:09

healthy person. It's about acting as

9:11

if you are already the person you want to

9:13

become. It's almost like you're casting votes

9:15

for your desired identity with every action

9:17

you take. And this beautifully ties back

9:19

to that feedback loop between habits and

9:21

identity that we talked about earlier. Absolutely.

9:23

It's not a one -way street. It's a

9:26

dynamic relationship. Your habits shape

9:28

your identity and your identity shapes

9:30

your habits. The key is to

9:32

consciously guide this loop by clarifying

9:34

your desired identity. and taking consistent

9:36

actions that affirm it. So, to

9:38

sum it all up, when we

9:40

focus on identity change, the whole

9:42

motivation behind our habits transforms. It's

9:45

no longer about chasing external rewards

9:47

or avoiding punishments, it's about aligning

9:49

our actions with our deepest sense

9:51

of self. The habits become

9:53

less about achieving a goal and

9:55

more about becoming the person we aspire

9:57

to be. Couldn't have said it better myself.

9:59

And while those external achievements are certainly nice,

10:01

the true power of habits lies in

10:03

their ability to shape who we become.

10:06

Identity change, it's the guiding star

10:08

of lasting habit transformation. It

10:11

all boils down to that question. Are

10:13

your habits helping you become the person you want

10:15

to be? That's such a powerful

10:17

question to ask ourselves. So to recap

10:20

our deep dive today, we've explored the

10:22

three levels of change outcomes, processes, and

10:24

identity and learned the true lasting change

10:26

starts from the inside out. By

10:28

focusing on who we want to become and

10:30

then proving it to ourselves through our actions, we

10:32

can create a powerful feedback loop that propels

10:34

us toward our best selves. And that

10:37

wraps up this episode. We hope

10:39

this deep dive has given you,

10:41

dear listener, a fresh perspective on the

10:43

amazing connection between your habits and

10:45

your identity. It's a journey of

10:47

self -discovery and growth, and we're

10:49

here to support you every step of the way.

10:51

If you want to explore these ideas

10:53

further, head over to themesseapodcast.com where you

10:55

can find a treasure trove of

10:57

resources, including a list of all the

10:59

books we've been discussing in season

11:01

one of Atomic Habits for Beginners. And

11:04

don't forget to subscribe to stay up to

11:06

date with our latest episodes and join our

11:08

community of habit hacking enthusiasts. We're excited

11:10

to continue this journey with you. See you

11:12

next time for another deep dive. Until then,

11:14

keep those habits rolling. Bye

11:16

for now. Bye everyone.