Your RTO (Return to Office) Survival Guide EP 402

Your RTO (Return to Office) Survival Guide EP 402

Released Tuesday, 15th April 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
Your RTO (Return to Office) Survival Guide EP 402

Your RTO (Return to Office) Survival Guide EP 402

Your RTO (Return to Office) Survival Guide EP 402

Your RTO (Return to Office) Survival Guide EP 402

Tuesday, 15th April 2025
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for culture, community and good

1:54

conversation. Hi,

2:04

I'm Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother

2:06

of five, an author, journalist, and

2:08

speaker. And I'm Sarah Hart Unger,

2:10

a mother of three, practicing physician,

2:12

writer, and course creator. We are

2:14

two working parents who love our

2:16

careers and our families. Welcome to

2:18

Best of Both Worlds. Here we

2:20

talk about how real women manage

2:22

work, family, and time for fun.

2:24

From figuring out childcare to mapping

2:27

out long-term career goals, we want

2:29

you to get the most out

2:31

of life. Welcome

2:35

to Best of Both Worlds. This

2:37

is Laura. This episode is airing

2:40

in mid-April of 2025. We are

2:42

going to be talking about RTO,

2:44

that is returning to work, five

2:47

years after the pandemic began. A number

2:49

of organizations have started to get people

2:51

back into the office more frequently and

2:53

of several have... issued mandates that people

2:55

be there five days a week, which

2:57

is even different than pre-pandemic, when a

2:59

lot of people had work from home

3:01

Fridays. So, you know, we are going

3:03

to devote this episode to strategies that

3:05

might make life feel better, more doable,

3:07

time in the office, feel more useful,

3:09

if you are working somewhere that has

3:11

started requiring your presence in the office

3:14

a little bit more frequently. Before we

3:16

begin, Sarah, are you ready for a

3:18

little soapbox moment? Yes, I think this

3:20

is an opportune time for a, I

3:22

don't know, trademark Laura Vanderkam, soapbox rant

3:24

segment. And you wrote it, it's really

3:26

eloquent, and I'm gonna let you just

3:28

roll with it. Yes, so my thoughts

3:30

on RTO. I mean, hybrid and remote

3:32

work was honestly one of the best

3:34

and probably the only good thing to

3:36

come out of the pandemic. It's kind

3:38

of ridiculous that we are even doing

3:40

this episode. And I have seen this

3:42

over the years as I have studied

3:44

workplace. I mean, particularly in the pre-covid

3:46

era, when a lot of workplaces, I

3:48

mean, people would tell you like, oh,

3:50

we just can't work from home, it

3:52

might work for other people, but I

3:54

never work for our organization. I mean,

3:56

the truth is, some people in power

3:59

do not like remote work because they

4:01

like to feel powerful and have people

4:03

acting deferential to them in the office

4:05

and being in a space where it

4:07

is very clear that you have a

4:09

bigger and fancier office than other people

4:11

and you have the status and their.

4:13

all these hordes of people working for

4:15

you that you are seeing presiding over

4:17

them like a king over his subjects.

4:19

It has very little to do with

4:21

productivity. I mean people will listen to

4:23

that and then wax eloquent about face-to-face

4:25

work and the wonderful things that happen

4:27

face-to-face and I totally agree like Sarah

4:29

and I love to get together when

4:31

we can. This is the first episode

4:33

in a while that wasn't recorded in

4:35

her closet with us sitting two inches

4:37

from each other sharing a microphone. Like

4:39

it's a lot of fun to do

4:41

things together in person. That said, this

4:44

is not an either or matter because

4:46

40 hours a week in the same

4:48

cubicle with the exact same people can

4:50

totally be overkill. There is much to

4:52

be said for a balance of both

4:54

with people treated as adults and knowledge

4:56

work judged based on outcomes, not time

4:58

in a seat. And yes, that is

5:00

so much harder to manage. I get

5:02

that. I am a person who manages

5:04

people as well. But the upsides are

5:06

great, because there's no reason for people

5:08

to be wasting time and money and

5:10

gas if they are just going to

5:12

email and call other people on a

5:14

particular day. And it's also great for

5:16

organizations to be able to hire people

5:18

from outside a 60-minute radius of the

5:20

office. One more part of this rant,

5:22

which is that if you are working

5:24

somewhere where they have claimed that people

5:27

just can't work from work from home,

5:29

work from home, That doesn't change after

5:31

5 p.m. or before 9 a.m. You

5:33

still can't work from home. So there's

5:35

absolutely no reason really for people to

5:37

have cell phones or laptops or anything

5:39

like that because clearly you can't work

5:41

from home. There is no reason to

5:43

even try to do anything outside the

5:45

office if you cannot work from home.

5:47

So all really you need is a

5:49

single like, I don't know, bat signal

5:51

kind of thing that could summon you

5:53

back to the office so you could

5:55

do work as that's the only place

5:57

work can be done. I mean, that

5:59

means no emails after hours, right? It's

6:01

impossible for people to work from home.

6:03

I mean, that actually might be a

6:05

tradeoff. Some people would choose. But I'm

6:07

saying, I don't think those organizations are

6:09

saying that. I don't think the organizations

6:12

are saying our emails will stop working

6:14

at 5 p.m. Nobody will be able

6:16

to log on before night a.m. because

6:18

you cannot work from outside the office.

6:20

Like, no, they're not saying that. They're

6:22

just saying you have to work in

6:24

the office between whatever 830 and 430,

6:26

whatever the hours are, and we might

6:28

reach you outside that too. Then you

6:30

can work from home. Then it's fine.

6:32

But it's only these set hours. You

6:34

said hours. We want to deal with

6:36

life as it is, not life as

6:38

it should be. So Soapbox, regardless, this

6:40

episode is about how to survive RTO,

6:42

especially if that is a five-day-a-week RTO

6:44

for you. All right, Sarah, I'm done.

6:46

The rest of the episode will be

6:48

all me, since I have lots of

6:50

positive things to say about face-to-face work.

6:52

No, to be fair. I mean... We're

6:54

going to talk about how I do

6:57

actually prefer to do a lot of

6:59

my work outside of the home. I

7:01

do my creative work from home still,

7:03

although honestly if I had a cute

7:05

little office maybe a couple miles away

7:07

I probably might elect to go there

7:09

especially in the afternoons when certain people

7:11

may be descending upon my home making

7:13

it a little bit more difficult to

7:15

concentrate. My house is not that big

7:17

and it gets very loud very quickly.

7:19

So I do my creative work from

7:21

home and I used to do some

7:23

of my graduate medical education work from

7:25

home from home during COVID but then

7:27

pretty much all of my patient care

7:29

work is in person. There was a

7:31

time during COVID that they really sent

7:33

everybody out of the clinical areas and

7:35

I had to do telehealth and I

7:37

learned that I absolutely hate telehealth with

7:40

a fiery passion. Now I don't mind

7:42

doing some telehealth with a fiery passion.

7:44

Now, I don't mind doing some telehealth

7:46

over the course over the course of

7:48

a workday like sometimes a patient lives

7:50

three hours away and I can only

7:52

practice within the state of Florida by

7:54

the way, but doing days of telehealth

7:56

I find ineffective, exhausting, and like basically

7:58

almost torture. I mean that might just

8:00

be a me thing but we're going

8:02

to talk about various benefits of being

8:04

in person but for me it's the

8:06

exhausting aspect of the communication when it's

8:08

not face-to-face that is probably my least

8:10

favorite part. So I'm somebody who kind

8:12

of enjoys a little bit more about

8:14

going somewhere to do my work and

8:16

so I was maybe a little bit

8:18

more easily able to come up with

8:20

some reframings that we will provide for

8:22

you today as well as so that

8:25

we can like appreciate a few of

8:27

the benefits. But that said, I 100%

8:29

wholeheartedly agree with Laura that like the

8:31

idea of the mandate for 100% seems

8:33

so silly and excessive and I am

8:35

thinking of you if that impacts you

8:37

especially if you signed up for a

8:39

situation that didn't look like that feels

8:41

like that feels so unfair to me.

8:43

I do feel like hybrid or like

8:45

a mostly remote situation can be so

8:47

wonderful for many people. So this is

8:49

not to say that I'm like, yeah,

8:51

get your butt back in the seat.

8:53

Yeah, I mean, I totally get that,

8:55

I mean, especially things like patient care,

8:57

it often is good to have the

8:59

picking up on things. But you know,

9:01

like your status meeting for like the

9:03

project that's been going on with for

9:05

six months, I mean, it seems a

9:07

little odd. that the once a week

9:10

check-in would always have to be in

9:12

person, you know, when you see these

9:14

people all the time. There's a good

9:16

balance to be had. But, okay, so

9:18

the positives. One, some people do have

9:20

a split thing where it's easier to

9:22

focus in a place that is primed

9:24

for work focus. Now I will say

9:26

offices are distracting places, but if you

9:28

have structured it right, perhaps it is

9:30

more possible. Yeah, if you've structured it

9:32

right, if you have a door that

9:34

you can close, but also it depends

9:36

on your makeup, right? And some people

9:38

have a harder time focusing than others

9:40

in general, but there is something to

9:42

be said that if you're used to

9:44

being in a particular environment and if

9:46

you're kind of conditioned yourself to like,

9:48

okay. I have my routine, I walk

9:50

through the door, I get my coffee

9:53

at the little office coffee shop, I

9:55

walk upstairs, I put my laptop down,

9:57

and then I like start, like you

9:59

can kind of prime yourself into a

10:01

really nice ritual. I guess that's not

10:03

to say you couldn't do something similar

10:05

at home, but it might be harder

10:07

with like the everyday things kind of

10:09

still, like it's the same environment you're

10:11

going to be in when you're having

10:13

breakfast with the kids, potentially, or relaxing

10:15

after workwork. sort of my brain knows

10:17

to get into gear to like start

10:19

going through patient results when I sit

10:21

down at my work desk. I mean

10:23

for better or for worse could I

10:25

cultivate that somewhere else? Maybe, but I

10:27

think for some people I'm probably not

10:29

the only person who gets a little

10:31

bit of a priming benefit from being

10:33

in a work zone. That's number one

10:35

positive. Yeah. What are another? Okay, so

10:38

this one and I think this one

10:40

I sort of alluded to and as

10:42

one of my... biggest biggest ones is

10:44

just that face-to-face communication is less tiring

10:46

and more enjoyable for most people when

10:48

you're actually doing it in person versus

10:50

on a screen. There are just all

10:52

of these, I think it's actually more

10:54

important when you are explaining something that

10:56

someone doesn't understand or interacting with someone

10:58

that you don't know very well. Like

11:00

I don't really have a problem connecting

11:02

with you on a screen right now,

11:04

but... If I were pitching something or

11:06

I was like trying to get a

11:08

sense of like what you thought, it's

11:10

just so much harder to sort of

11:12

tailor the discussion based on someone else's

11:14

reaction when you're not looking at them.

11:16

It also is just harder for you

11:18

to see if they're understanding. So that

11:20

gets again, like if you're in any

11:23

kind of a job where a lot

11:25

of times you are explaining things to

11:27

people, it gets so weirdly tiring when

11:29

you're trying to do it with this

11:31

like medium in between. So for that

11:33

in person I think it's just more

11:35

pleasant, more relaxing. And one example I'll

11:37

use from my non-clinical life is that

11:39

we used to do these big residency

11:41

recruitment blitzes where we'd like interview batches

11:43

of 12 to 15 applicants at once

11:45

for our residency program and we did

11:47

it in person and then we had

11:49

COVID so we went to Zoom. I

11:51

found it so much more tiring on

11:53

Zoom. to give the speech and to

11:55

smile and to stay engaged and to

11:57

even like gauge these people like it

11:59

was harder to really get an impression

12:01

of anybody through a screen than it

12:03

was in person. Now was it more

12:06

practical for them? Absolutely, but then at

12:08

the on the downside for them they

12:10

weren't able to actually see the place

12:12

where they might spend the next God

12:14

knows how many years of their life

12:16

so I don't know there's pluses and

12:18

minuses but for me that zoom fatigue

12:20

is real and I much prefer the

12:22

efficiency. Yes, it is like their efficiencies

12:24

gain from face-to-face communication. That sounds backwards

12:26

because you're not driving somewhere, but just

12:28

the read on people on the way

12:30

that you can understand each other. All

12:32

right. Let's just quick run through like

12:34

other people being in the home. Yes,

12:36

so that's another huge benefit from my

12:38

perspective is that when I'm at work

12:40

seeing patients, my kids are not at

12:42

work with me seeing patients. So I

12:44

am like really can be in the

12:46

zone. And if I, you know, I

12:48

guess I could get texted by something.

12:51

aren't there. So the opportunity to get

12:53

interrupted, especially if there are half days,

12:55

if there are, you know, you have

12:57

important things to do with that four

12:59

o'clock hour when kids would otherwise be

13:01

arriving home, I much prefer being somewhere

13:03

else if I'm trying to get work

13:05

done. And that also holds true for

13:07

non-kid related home obligations. Like you aren't

13:09

going to be the default package getter

13:11

or repair person because you aren't there.

13:13

You cannot talk to the exterminator because

13:15

you aren't there. Or maybe you and

13:17

your partner now have to negotiate instead

13:19

of you always being the default one

13:21

if you happen to previously have the

13:23

more flexible job. Now I know that

13:25

can actually be logistically problematic. for some

13:27

people because if you don't have anybody

13:29

at home, then it just becomes hard

13:31

to do those things in general. But

13:33

if you do have kids and you

13:36

have someone at home with those kids

13:38

for at least part of the day,

13:40

then sometimes that person can then absorb

13:42

that role that you would have been

13:44

doing if you were there and everybody

13:46

wins. Yeah, I would say, well, even

13:48

if you are working from home, hopefully

13:50

if you have young kids, you have

13:52

somebody caring for them other than you.

13:54

And one of the things of having

13:56

it be a paid payed caregaregiver, a

13:58

paid caregiver, a paid caregiver, make sure they

14:00

get out of the house. That's always been

14:02

one of our job descriptions with our nannies,

14:04

which there's also people I know who have

14:07

talked to who have been trying to work from

14:09

home and their partner is staying home with their

14:11

kids. And that's a much harder one to navigate

14:13

because it's a little bit harder to force your

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18:09

quick, Sarah, office culture is potentially a

18:11

positive for people being back in more

18:13

of a face-to-face environment. Yeah, one thing

18:16

that I enjoy about going to work

18:18

in a physical location is that office

18:20

culture grows naturally that way. And I've

18:23

been in my office for 12 years

18:25

now and consider lots of the people

18:27

that I work with to be real

18:30

friends. So it can be fun to

18:32

celebrate a birthday, a holiday, or just

18:34

even chat for a few minutes. Plus

18:37

there's a side benefit of the casual

18:39

work that might be a... easy to

18:41

kind of fit in on the fly.

18:44

I have colleagues that will walk into

18:46

each other's office and be like, I

18:48

got these set of laughs on a

18:51

patient, they don't totally make sense to

18:53

me, let's, can we talk about it?

18:55

And yes, that could happen. You could

18:58

kind of like text someone and see

19:00

if they wanted to call you or

19:02

face time you, but it might be

19:05

less likely to happen with that person

19:07

not being accessible like that. Yeah, although

19:09

I would say you're not in the

19:12

office five days of work. that are

19:14

best done together in person, that casual

19:16

back and forth banter. And then there's

19:19

other kinds that casual back and forth

19:21

banter is taking you away from doing,

19:23

right? There's certain sort of heads down

19:26

concentration kind of work that is quite

19:28

difficult to do if people are bopping

19:30

by being like, what do you think

19:32

of this? And if that's less likely

19:35

to happen, that can be a benefit

19:37

for that sorts of work. So again,

19:39

this is why hybrid work tends to

19:42

be the best option then with some

19:44

guidelines around it, but mostly be. people

19:46

being treated as adults. But yet, those

19:49

are some things that think about possibly

19:51

ways to reframe this, but we had

19:53

a few sort of survival tactics to

19:56

talk about as well. One is if

19:58

you do suddenly have a longer commute

20:00

that you were having to do more

20:03

frequently, try to think of this as

20:05

me time. Like yes, commuting is often

20:07

boring, stressful, but it's too much time

20:10

to completely write off in your life.

20:12

So as you are planning your weeks.

20:14

Plan your commutes, right? Actually, think of

20:17

this time. Think of what you will

20:19

do during this time. For a lot

20:21

of people, that's things like listening to

20:24

audio books. So make sure that your

20:26

audio books are packed. You've chosen well

20:28

for the week. You're excited about what

20:31

you're going to listen to. Or maybe

20:33

you've chosen an album to listen to.

20:35

Or Tuesday morning. Listen to before breakfast,

20:38

your commute is probably not that short.

20:40

It's like four minutes. But on Wednesdays,

20:42

I do an interview that's a little

20:45

closer to 30 minutes. So you could

20:47

listen to that. So we figured out

20:49

three other days already. Three mornings you've

20:52

got something. But you know, it can

20:54

also be a rev up or decompression

20:56

time, right, Sarah? Oh, totally. I, for

20:59

me, that's. an enormous benefit. I usually

21:01

do, lately I've been doing music in

21:03

the morning and then podcast in the

21:06

afternoon, and I've done it actually either

21:08

direction, I kind of like to mix

21:10

it up, but my kids usually want

21:13

to play various of their music in

21:15

the morning, and then I sort of

21:17

pivot to my music once I've dropped

21:20

off the last kid on the way

21:22

to the office, and then I sort

21:24

of pivot to my music once I've

21:27

dropped off the last kid on the

21:29

way to the office. And then I

21:31

have someone who would say I even

21:34

hate my music in the morning. what

21:36

makes a commute bad is a big

21:38

unpredictability aspect because you're like always hoping

21:41

it's going to be pretty good but

21:43

if you can engineer a commute that's

21:45

at least even if it's not that

21:48

short if it's fairly predictable obviously people

21:50

don't have control over that but you

21:52

can just see it as like all

21:55

right I got 30 minutes I'm hanging

21:57

out in the car I can either

21:59

call someone or I can listen to

22:02

something, but like, I don't really have

22:04

anything else to do. I can't really

22:06

do anything else productive, so I might as

22:08

well enjoy it. Yeah. A commute can

22:11

also be social time. I mean, probably

22:13

not every day, but carpooling never really

22:15

caught on as a big hit because

22:17

people value the flexibility of having their

22:19

own vehicle, but there might be some

22:22

people that you like enough to forego

22:24

that flexibility just on occasion. So

22:26

commuting with a friend once every two

22:28

weeks, like if you work anywhere near a

22:31

friend of yours, that could be an amazing

22:33

way to build in some time together, or

22:35

maybe it's with your spouse once a week

22:37

or so. Even if it's like 10 minutes

22:39

outside your normal drive, it might be

22:41

worth it to you, an extra 20

22:44

minutes in order to spend like that

22:46

extra 90 minutes therein back with your

22:48

spouse once a week. It might be as

22:50

much time as you guys get together as

22:52

you guys get together if you have young

22:54

kids and a busy life. Yeah, it's funny

22:56

when I, when Josh first started working

22:59

at the same health system I did,

23:01

I was like, oh, we'll go to

23:03

work together. That's happened zero times. Because

23:05

he doesn't actually work at the same

23:08

hospital that I do. There's really no

23:10

opportunity for that. But it would

23:12

have been cute if it had worked

23:14

out. It would have been cute. Another

23:17

sort of survival strategy, mentally at least,

23:19

is to quote a certain Sarah Hart Unger,

23:21

make it worth the commute, right Sarah? Because

23:23

you may have to go in, but just

23:25

for your own sanity, make sure there is

23:27

at least something you are doing when you

23:29

are in the office that would have been

23:31

hard to do remotely. In many cases,

23:34

that is something that is social. So

23:36

try to start a regular lunch group,

23:38

maybe plug into or start your

23:40

own employee resource group. Maybe it's a

23:42

mentoring program or a mentoring connection that

23:44

you are committing to mentor someone once

23:46

a week or so, so you know

23:48

you're going in to talk with them.

23:51

But something that makes it very clear why

23:53

you are doing this because yeah if you have

23:55

a day where you're just emailing and calling

23:57

people in other places it will feel

24:00

very tedious and we would like to

24:02

avoid that if possible. Yes. Now the

24:04

next thing would be boundaries. Kind of

24:06

as we implied in the very beginning,

24:08

if you can't work from home then,

24:10

that gives you the leeway to say

24:12

you're not going to work from home.

24:14

No, we're kidding. We're being tongue-in-cheek about

24:16

that aspect of it, but sometimes it

24:18

can. kind of promote a little bit

24:20

of a natural separation and I will

24:22

say for myself I struggle much more

24:24

with kind of shutting down on days

24:26

that I'm working for myself at home

24:28

versus days that I'm driving home and

24:30

I'm driving home it's like very very

24:32

obvious like I was at work and

24:34

now I'm done with work and I

24:36

don't generally take home clinical work unless

24:38

it's a call week or something like

24:40

that so if you are someone who

24:43

struggles with the boundaries maybe you could

24:45

reframe as like this will help me

24:47

to set clearer boundaries doing very specific

24:49

split shifts at certain times if work

24:51

necessitates it. Yeah, because one of the

24:53

things that I definitely found studying people's

24:55

schedules in the pre-covid era, people worry

24:57

with a long commute that if you

24:59

have young kids who go to bed

25:01

relatively early, you will have very limited

25:03

time with them on weekday evenings. You

25:05

might have time with them on weekends.

25:07

But the weekday evening, if you have

25:09

a child who goes to bed at

25:11

like 7 or 730 and you're not

25:13

home from your commute until 630, it

25:15

sort of limits the evening. Again, my

25:17

children never did this. I would read

25:19

about people doing this. I'm like, oh,

25:21

that sounds rough. Like, my child has

25:23

never gone to bed at 730 p.m.

25:25

Then you might consider working a split

25:27

shift. which is that you get out

25:30

of your office as soon as humanly

25:32

possible. I don't know, try to end

25:34

at 4.35 Max, but start the commute

25:36

then, get home, have a longer evening

25:38

with your family, and then do a

25:40

little bit of work at night after

25:42

the kids went to bed. Because I'm

25:44

probably believing in a lot of these

25:46

jobs you actually can work from home,

25:48

it's just that you're not supposed to.

25:50

but if you're doing it at nine

25:52

o'clock at night people will probably be

25:54

fine with it. Yeah and we've talked

25:56

about this before but usually you want

25:58

that work from home to be doing

26:00

a specific project getting a discrete thing

26:02

done versus like I'm just gonna like

26:04

go into my email and like browse

26:06

around a little bit. Yeah you are

26:08

not going to get through a 1000

26:10

email backlog from nine to ten at

26:12

night like so don't try like they

26:15

make yourself a to-do list for this

26:17

split second shift saying okay these are

26:19

the three things I... did not finish

26:21

before I left the office today, and

26:23

do in fact have to do before

26:25

tomorrow. So maybe preparing for a meeting,

26:27

sending two responses to email, and whatever,

26:29

something else you had to do. That's

26:31

a more reasonable thing to do. We

26:33

want to be intentional about breaks, right,

26:35

Sarah? Yeah, and I think this is

26:37

particularly important when you're out of work

26:39

because it might require a little bit

26:41

of preparation. So maybe it means asking

26:43

a friend to go out to lunch

26:45

with you once a week. Maybe that

26:47

means bringing a book so you can

26:49

spend your lunch time doing that or

26:51

bringing comfortable shoes. You can take a

26:53

walk during lunch, but most work days

26:55

are not going to be like you

26:57

doing intense work from the minute you

27:00

get there until the minute you clock

27:02

out. whether you actually clock out or

27:04

not, but you know what I mean.

27:06

And so it makes sense to actually

27:08

think about how you might want to

27:10

spend those breaks well rather than just

27:12

kind of letting them happen in default

27:14

activity, probably scrolling, not going to be

27:16

that thrilling. Yeah, especially if you do

27:18

need to leave early for your commute

27:20

and in winter you're somewhere that the

27:22

commute will get you home after the

27:24

sun has gone down. you probably want

27:26

to arrange to see the sky in

27:28

the course of your workday. So take

27:30

some sort of break where you get

27:32

outside, whether that's to grab coffee at

27:34

a local coffee shop, just to go

27:36

for a 10-minute walk somewhere, if you

27:38

go out for lunch, or just invent

27:40

a reason to go outside. Like you

27:42

don't actually need one. The Gen Z's

27:45

are all touch grass. We're like, no,

27:47

see the sky. See the sky. Okay,

27:49

well, you could touch the grass and

27:51

see the grass and see the sky,

27:53

I don't. I don't know. I don't

27:55

know. but the sky you might be

27:57

able to still see so I totally

27:59

I like it totally And you want

28:01

to also want to make sure that

28:03

you've planned in time for your personal

28:05

to do's because these things don't stop

28:07

just because you are working in an

28:09

office and you probably feel a little

28:11

bit, you know, there's some things that

28:14

will be harder to do if you are

28:16

in an office as opposed to in a

28:18

home office in terms of managing life

28:20

administration and such that has

28:22

to happen. So you might need to

28:24

strategically plan in a personal day every

28:27

so often. to take care of anything that

28:29

is hard to make happen. Agree, I

28:31

used to do a lot of that, because

28:33

there's certain things that just have to

28:35

be business hours, and certain things where

28:37

it has to be you, like going

28:40

to your own doctor's appointment or getting

28:42

your passport renewed, like you cannot outsource

28:44

those things, even if you'd like to,

28:46

so I would strategically have like a

28:48

full day off every couple of months

28:50

or so and try to batch things, because

28:52

it's true, you won't have that

28:55

flexibility, Exactly. We're going to

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take one more quick ad break and

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33:01

we are back talking all things

33:03

RTO returning to the office especially

33:05

for people who are in a

33:07

situation where you now need to

33:09

be in your workplace in person

33:12

five days a week, which as

33:14

we discussed earlier, is probably overkill,

33:16

but we are dealing with life

33:18

as it is, not as we

33:20

wish it would be. The key

33:22

thing to think about is that

33:24

if you are no longer at

33:27

home during the day, you may

33:29

need to account for presence, like

33:31

somebody being there at various points,

33:33

that you may have taken for

33:35

granted that that was you at

33:37

previous points, but now you're going

33:39

to have to figure out how

33:41

that's going to work. So packages

33:44

that might not to be signed

33:46

for, like that's not going to

33:48

work. your dog. You can't walk

33:50

the dog as a break if

33:52

you are not there. Meeting contractors,

33:54

which again is a massive time-suck

33:56

if you are working from home.

33:58

but you may have been the

34:01

one who did it if like

34:03

there was a sudden leak that

34:05

happened in your household or emergency

34:07

child care stuff if you and

34:09

your partner are both working an

34:12

hour away from your kids school

34:14

you need to figure out who

34:16

and how somebody gets there if

34:18

there's someone who is like vomiting

34:21

profusely what goes on you

34:23

know? I mean, I feel like some schools

34:25

are just going to have to wait

34:27

an hour because realistically parents are going

34:29

to work and if parents are required

34:31

to work at their workplaces, like, that's hard

34:34

to have everybody have a backup person

34:36

in case their kid happen to get

34:38

sick in the middle of the day

34:40

and they're too far away. School? Deal with

34:42

it. Yeah, I know. So if you have

34:44

family living beer by, that could be yet another

34:46

thing you ask them to help with if

34:48

that happens or having a network

34:50

of... babysitters or something that some people

34:53

have during the day availability again just as

34:55

an option or you know and kids get

34:57

sick too and if you cannot work from

34:59

home that would require you to take

35:01

a sick day yourself which seems very

35:03

inefficient from the point of view of the

35:05

organization but I'm not sure how they're dealing

35:08

with that if they're not allowing people to

35:10

work from home I guess you're just not

35:12

allowed to have sick children I

35:14

don't know. Oh my goodness my hope

35:17

is that in instances like that or

35:19

Because that's an interesting question. Like let's

35:21

say there is a hurricane warning and

35:24

everyone's home, but there's no hurricane yet.

35:26

Would the company rather make everyone

35:28

take PL and have nothing get accomplished

35:30

that day? Or were they rather on

35:33

specific occasions, let them work from home?

35:35

Oh my goodness. I don't know. Yeah. I'm

35:37

pretty sure that it is possible to

35:39

work from home. Like this idea that

35:42

you can't, yeah, there's a giant snowstorm.

35:44

Like people, of course you'd rather have

35:46

people work from home than lose a

35:49

week of productivity, but yes, I think

35:51

it's a very short-sided idea, but whatever,

35:53

we do feel for people who are

35:55

dealing with this, this situation. We

35:57

do. This is hard. We're thinking of you.

36:00

and we were trying to offer some good,

36:02

we're trying to keep your spirits up

36:04

and give you some ideas. And there

36:06

is always, I did mention here also

36:08

that keep kicking butt at your job

36:10

because the more awesome you are and

36:12

the more valuable you are, you never

36:14

know, maybe you could start by negotiating

36:16

away some of this requirement. If they

36:18

really, really need you badly enough, I

36:20

guess it depends on the company culture,

36:22

but maybe you would have some wiggle

36:24

room there. Yeah, or even if the

36:26

company culture is the expectation, you're there,

36:28

if it's not truly centrally enforced, then

36:30

your manager may be like, whatever. Like,

36:32

I know she's going to get her

36:34

work done. And you can always go

36:36

look for another job, because there are

36:38

still plenty of places that treat people

36:41

like adults and say, you know, you

36:43

can work in the office a certain

36:45

number of days, you can work from

36:47

home as you decide is necessary, and

36:49

we look forward to seeing that more

36:51

people want to work there than work

36:53

elsewhere. I can't believe we were able

36:55

to record this episode remotely Laura. You

36:57

know how is that even possible Sarah?

36:59

It's like how could this business exist

37:01

if people can't work from home? All

37:03

right well we'll get to our Q&A.

37:05

All right so Sarah sent me a

37:07

two-part question I think we're just going

37:09

to do the second part because that

37:11

was the it's a multi-part question okay

37:13

so she says we're looking at this

37:15

is a family with two looking at

37:17

three children. We are looking at moving

37:19

closer to extended family in a couple

37:21

years right when our oldest child is

37:23

getting close to kindergarten age. I understand

37:25

schools should be a major factor in

37:27

where exactly to buy a house, but

37:29

how does one actually figure out which

37:32

are the good schools? I am told

37:34

the best way is to talk to

37:36

parents there, but since we currently live

37:38

out of state, that seems tricky. Any

37:40

tips on evaluating quality of schools. projecting

37:42

forward to see what middle or high

37:44

school options kids might have and where

37:46

a school district is headed over the

37:48

next 15 years? Am I vastly overthinking

37:50

of this? But I don't want to

37:52

get stuck either moving or paying three

37:54

private school tuitions. Any tips about what

37:56

to think about in general and planning

37:58

to settle in a larger metropolitan area

38:00

as they work? parent. Okay, Sarah. Well,

38:02

I think it's a good thing to

38:04

think about. I don't, I wouldn't put

38:06

this under the category of overthinking or

38:08

anything like that, although the idea they're

38:10

gonna know exactly what the schools are

38:12

gonna look like in 15 years. Yeah,

38:14

we probably can't help too much with

38:16

that piece, but I think it is

38:18

worth asking around. Like, you can do

38:20

a lot online sleuthing, like find out

38:22

if there are bulletin boards for that.

38:25

community on Facebook or what's up or

38:27

whatever and or on read it actually

38:29

I've seen this kind of thing as

38:31

then you can just sort of say

38:33

I'm thinking about moving to blah blah

38:35

blah city like what are the most

38:37

awesome school districts are are you really

38:39

happy in one of the school districts

38:41

and you'll start to see patterns most

38:43

likely all this said of course like

38:45

your kid's success is probably gonna have

38:47

a lot more to do with the

38:49

kid than the specific school that they

38:51

go to and I will give you

38:53

the disclaimer that we move to our

38:55

area three private school tuitions partly just

38:57

because the needs of our kids were

38:59

a little bit different than we had

39:01

anticipated and it turned out the fit

39:03

was the best and since we could

39:05

do it we just went in that

39:07

direction but no regrets because a area

39:09

that has really good school districts tends

39:11

to have a lot of kids and

39:13

a big kind of kid culture which

39:15

means lots of activities and playgrounds and

39:18

community events and stuff like that. So

39:20

all those things tend to track together

39:22

and I would do the best you

39:24

can to get some people to kind

39:26

of share. Yeah, a real estate agent

39:28

also might know. Yeah, yeah, no, that's

39:30

true. Where would you suggest in this

39:32

area we look if we really value

39:34

having good public schools? Yeah, we moved

39:36

to this area, you know, I'm in

39:38

the Lower Marian Township in Pennsylvania, a

39:40

lot because we had heard the public

39:42

schools were very good here, and I

39:44

think they are. If you went to

39:46

a selective college, you've probably met people

39:48

from the various high schools in this

39:50

area. And so you might also look

39:52

around, like do you hear about the

39:54

high schools in that area in like

39:56

state competitions, in national competitions? Do people

39:58

mention the area? as being higher priced

40:00

because of the schools, right? Like you

40:02

will see that in real estate ads,

40:04

like they'll say, like this is in

40:07

this district, in the first line in

40:09

the real estate ads. Economics are funny

40:11

that way, because she says she doesn't

40:13

want to pay three private school tuitions.

40:15

You may wind up having that baked into

40:17

your house price if you choose a

40:19

very good public school district. You are

40:21

kind of paying the tuition in

40:23

the form of your granite countertops,

40:26

but. That's just kind of the

40:28

way economics works, right? But just

40:30

other things to look at, have the

40:32

teachers been there forever? That might

40:34

be something you could sleuth out.

40:37

Because if very few teachers

40:39

are quitting that neighborhood elementary

40:41

school, that might be something

40:43

that suggests it's a pretty

40:45

good place to work when

40:47

people love to work somewhere.

40:49

That generally means it's pretty

40:51

good. All right, well, linking this

40:54

to our earlier segment though. I would

40:56

say like patient care, education is

40:58

something that probably doesn't work as

41:00

well virtually. I've had several kids

41:02

do online classes and it definitely

41:05

can work for older kids, especially

41:07

for subjects that you wouldn't be able

41:09

to get otherwise. I think for things

41:11

like six-year-olds, not so good with

41:14

remote work. Definitely was not

41:16

successful in our house than to tell

41:18

you. I mean, we did that experiment in

41:20

2020. Yeah, like adults who are doing

41:22

something versus six-year-olds and what they are

41:24

capable of managing in terms of their

41:27

own time attention and so forth. So,

41:29

you know, there's something we shouldn't have

41:31

offices that are treating people like six-year-olds,

41:34

but I digress. Look for places

41:36

that teachers love teaching. Look for places

41:38

where it's mentioned in the real estate

41:40

ads. Look for the high schools

41:42

being mentioned in competitions in competitions

41:45

and competitions and competitions.

41:47

And yeah. Just always keep an open mind

41:49

though, because even the best school district, it

41:52

might not work for your own kid for one

41:54

reason or the other. And it might be so much

41:56

cheaper to live somewhere that doesn't have good

41:58

schools at the private school. payment question

42:00

is a wash and also depending on

42:02

what state you are in there are

42:04

different vouchers and all sorts of things

42:06

we could get into so that are

42:09

a little bit too political for this

42:11

podcast but they happen to exist in

42:13

various places no matter what we do

42:15

think of them yeah all right moving

42:17

on I think that was enough but

42:19

love on the week all right Sarah

42:21

yours is a new love Yeah, I

42:24

mean I've always loved it, but not

42:26

really used it. So decaf coffee, just

42:28

so glad it exists because I'm not

42:30

fully on decaf, but like, I feel

42:32

like I'm somewhat sensitive to caffeine right

42:34

now, but I can still have coffee

42:36

and I can have like a little

42:38

bit of caffeine and like modulate that

42:41

based on the ratio of caffeine, so

42:43

I'm just like very happy. And I

42:45

can go to Starbucks and get decaf

42:47

capachinos and stuff and this is good.

42:49

Yeah, that it actually existsists. Because I

42:51

don't like really like tea that much

42:53

so it's good to have. How do

42:55

they decafenate coffee? I don't know it's

42:58

Swiss, but it always says Swiss process.

43:00

I'm like I don't know what that

43:02

process is but those Swiss have figured

43:04

it out. Somehow it takes out the

43:06

the caffeine or you could have places

43:08

that just add caffeine for no real

43:10

reason just to make their drinks, their

43:12

juices more addictive. That's exciting too. So

43:15

I'm going to say that I'm going

43:17

to. I'm so not fancy. But the

43:19

seltzer water, because I've gotten to that

43:21

as my evening drink of choice, it

43:23

is probably better than having a craft

43:25

beer in general, and yet you still

43:27

want something that's a little special and

43:29

bubbly, not juice or coke or anything

43:32

like that. So drinking a lot of

43:34

parier right now. I feel like parier

43:36

is like, like, I drink a lot

43:38

of liqueuroy, but parier is classier. Yeah.

43:40

I think that's cool. Some of my

43:42

children have, you know, we get the

43:44

lachroi too, that, you know, I kind

43:46

of think of the pariahs as mine,

43:49

and the lachroa is for the kids,

43:51

but then I have one or two

43:53

kids who see me drinking the parion,

43:55

they want the pariah, and then they

43:57

take like two steps and check the

43:59

cannon. me so, so unhappy. It is

44:01

sad. Why? Why did you do that? All

44:04

right, well this has been best of

44:06

both worlds. We've been talking

44:08

return to office strategies, ways

44:10

of thinking about it, strategies

44:12

for making the most of

44:14

your day, for not losing

44:16

your sanity over the commute.

44:18

We will be back next

44:21

week with more on making work

44:23

and life fit together. Thanks

44:26

for listening. You can find

44:28

me, Sarah, at the shoebox.com,

44:30

or at the underscore shoebox

44:32

on Instagram. And you can

44:34

find me, Laura, at Lauravandercam.com.

44:36

This has been the best

44:38

of both worlds' podcast. Please

44:41

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44:43

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