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for culture, community and good
1:54
conversation. Hi,
2:04
I'm Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother
2:06
of five, an author, journalist, and
2:08
speaker. And I'm Sarah Hart Unger,
2:10
a mother of three, practicing physician,
2:12
writer, and course creator. We are
2:14
two working parents who love our
2:16
careers and our families. Welcome to
2:18
Best of Both Worlds. Here we
2:20
talk about how real women manage
2:22
work, family, and time for fun.
2:24
From figuring out childcare to mapping
2:27
out long-term career goals, we want
2:29
you to get the most out
2:31
of life. Welcome
2:35
to Best of Both Worlds. This
2:37
is Laura. This episode is airing
2:40
in mid-April of 2025. We are
2:42
going to be talking about RTO,
2:44
that is returning to work, five
2:47
years after the pandemic began. A number
2:49
of organizations have started to get people
2:51
back into the office more frequently and
2:53
of several have... issued mandates that people
2:55
be there five days a week, which
2:57
is even different than pre-pandemic, when a
2:59
lot of people had work from home
3:01
Fridays. So, you know, we are going
3:03
to devote this episode to strategies that
3:05
might make life feel better, more doable,
3:07
time in the office, feel more useful,
3:09
if you are working somewhere that has
3:11
started requiring your presence in the office
3:14
a little bit more frequently. Before we
3:16
begin, Sarah, are you ready for a
3:18
little soapbox moment? Yes, I think this
3:20
is an opportune time for a, I
3:22
don't know, trademark Laura Vanderkam, soapbox rant
3:24
segment. And you wrote it, it's really
3:26
eloquent, and I'm gonna let you just
3:28
roll with it. Yes, so my thoughts
3:30
on RTO. I mean, hybrid and remote
3:32
work was honestly one of the best
3:34
and probably the only good thing to
3:36
come out of the pandemic. It's kind
3:38
of ridiculous that we are even doing
3:40
this episode. And I have seen this
3:42
over the years as I have studied
3:44
workplace. I mean, particularly in the pre-covid
3:46
era, when a lot of workplaces, I
3:48
mean, people would tell you like, oh,
3:50
we just can't work from home, it
3:52
might work for other people, but I
3:54
never work for our organization. I mean,
3:56
the truth is, some people in power
3:59
do not like remote work because they
4:01
like to feel powerful and have people
4:03
acting deferential to them in the office
4:05
and being in a space where it
4:07
is very clear that you have a
4:09
bigger and fancier office than other people
4:11
and you have the status and their.
4:13
all these hordes of people working for
4:15
you that you are seeing presiding over
4:17
them like a king over his subjects.
4:19
It has very little to do with
4:21
productivity. I mean people will listen to
4:23
that and then wax eloquent about face-to-face
4:25
work and the wonderful things that happen
4:27
face-to-face and I totally agree like Sarah
4:29
and I love to get together when
4:31
we can. This is the first episode
4:33
in a while that wasn't recorded in
4:35
her closet with us sitting two inches
4:37
from each other sharing a microphone. Like
4:39
it's a lot of fun to do
4:41
things together in person. That said, this
4:44
is not an either or matter because
4:46
40 hours a week in the same
4:48
cubicle with the exact same people can
4:50
totally be overkill. There is much to
4:52
be said for a balance of both
4:54
with people treated as adults and knowledge
4:56
work judged based on outcomes, not time
4:58
in a seat. And yes, that is
5:00
so much harder to manage. I get
5:02
that. I am a person who manages
5:04
people as well. But the upsides are
5:06
great, because there's no reason for people
5:08
to be wasting time and money and
5:10
gas if they are just going to
5:12
email and call other people on a
5:14
particular day. And it's also great for
5:16
organizations to be able to hire people
5:18
from outside a 60-minute radius of the
5:20
office. One more part of this rant,
5:22
which is that if you are working
5:24
somewhere where they have claimed that people
5:27
just can't work from work from home,
5:29
work from home, That doesn't change after
5:31
5 p.m. or before 9 a.m. You
5:33
still can't work from home. So there's
5:35
absolutely no reason really for people to
5:37
have cell phones or laptops or anything
5:39
like that because clearly you can't work
5:41
from home. There is no reason to
5:43
even try to do anything outside the
5:45
office if you cannot work from home.
5:47
So all really you need is a
5:49
single like, I don't know, bat signal
5:51
kind of thing that could summon you
5:53
back to the office so you could
5:55
do work as that's the only place
5:57
work can be done. I mean, that
5:59
means no emails after hours, right? It's
6:01
impossible for people to work from home.
6:03
I mean, that actually might be a
6:05
tradeoff. Some people would choose. But I'm
6:07
saying, I don't think those organizations are
6:09
saying that. I don't think the organizations
6:12
are saying our emails will stop working
6:14
at 5 p.m. Nobody will be able
6:16
to log on before night a.m. because
6:18
you cannot work from outside the office.
6:20
Like, no, they're not saying that. They're
6:22
just saying you have to work in
6:24
the office between whatever 830 and 430,
6:26
whatever the hours are, and we might
6:28
reach you outside that too. Then you
6:30
can work from home. Then it's fine.
6:32
But it's only these set hours. You
6:34
said hours. We want to deal with
6:36
life as it is, not life as
6:38
it should be. So Soapbox, regardless, this
6:40
episode is about how to survive RTO,
6:42
especially if that is a five-day-a-week RTO
6:44
for you. All right, Sarah, I'm done.
6:46
The rest of the episode will be
6:48
all me, since I have lots of
6:50
positive things to say about face-to-face work.
6:52
No, to be fair. I mean... We're
6:54
going to talk about how I do
6:57
actually prefer to do a lot of
6:59
my work outside of the home. I
7:01
do my creative work from home still,
7:03
although honestly if I had a cute
7:05
little office maybe a couple miles away
7:07
I probably might elect to go there
7:09
especially in the afternoons when certain people
7:11
may be descending upon my home making
7:13
it a little bit more difficult to
7:15
concentrate. My house is not that big
7:17
and it gets very loud very quickly.
7:19
So I do my creative work from
7:21
home and I used to do some
7:23
of my graduate medical education work from
7:25
home from home during COVID but then
7:27
pretty much all of my patient care
7:29
work is in person. There was a
7:31
time during COVID that they really sent
7:33
everybody out of the clinical areas and
7:35
I had to do telehealth and I
7:37
learned that I absolutely hate telehealth with
7:40
a fiery passion. Now I don't mind
7:42
doing some telehealth with a fiery passion.
7:44
Now, I don't mind doing some telehealth
7:46
over the course over the course of
7:48
a workday like sometimes a patient lives
7:50
three hours away and I can only
7:52
practice within the state of Florida by
7:54
the way, but doing days of telehealth
7:56
I find ineffective, exhausting, and like basically
7:58
almost torture. I mean that might just
8:00
be a me thing but we're going
8:02
to talk about various benefits of being
8:04
in person but for me it's the
8:06
exhausting aspect of the communication when it's
8:08
not face-to-face that is probably my least
8:10
favorite part. So I'm somebody who kind
8:12
of enjoys a little bit more about
8:14
going somewhere to do my work and
8:16
so I was maybe a little bit
8:18
more easily able to come up with
8:20
some reframings that we will provide for
8:22
you today as well as so that
8:25
we can like appreciate a few of
8:27
the benefits. But that said, I 100%
8:29
wholeheartedly agree with Laura that like the
8:31
idea of the mandate for 100% seems
8:33
so silly and excessive and I am
8:35
thinking of you if that impacts you
8:37
especially if you signed up for a
8:39
situation that didn't look like that feels
8:41
like that feels so unfair to me.
8:43
I do feel like hybrid or like
8:45
a mostly remote situation can be so
8:47
wonderful for many people. So this is
8:49
not to say that I'm like, yeah,
8:51
get your butt back in the seat.
8:53
Yeah, I mean, I totally get that,
8:55
I mean, especially things like patient care,
8:57
it often is good to have the
8:59
picking up on things. But you know,
9:01
like your status meeting for like the
9:03
project that's been going on with for
9:05
six months, I mean, it seems a
9:07
little odd. that the once a week
9:10
check-in would always have to be in
9:12
person, you know, when you see these
9:14
people all the time. There's a good
9:16
balance to be had. But, okay, so
9:18
the positives. One, some people do have
9:20
a split thing where it's easier to
9:22
focus in a place that is primed
9:24
for work focus. Now I will say
9:26
offices are distracting places, but if you
9:28
have structured it right, perhaps it is
9:30
more possible. Yeah, if you've structured it
9:32
right, if you have a door that
9:34
you can close, but also it depends
9:36
on your makeup, right? And some people
9:38
have a harder time focusing than others
9:40
in general, but there is something to
9:42
be said that if you're used to
9:44
being in a particular environment and if
9:46
you're kind of conditioned yourself to like,
9:48
okay. I have my routine, I walk
9:50
through the door, I get my coffee
9:53
at the little office coffee shop, I
9:55
walk upstairs, I put my laptop down,
9:57
and then I like start, like you
9:59
can kind of prime yourself into a
10:01
really nice ritual. I guess that's not
10:03
to say you couldn't do something similar
10:05
at home, but it might be harder
10:07
with like the everyday things kind of
10:09
still, like it's the same environment you're
10:11
going to be in when you're having
10:13
breakfast with the kids, potentially, or relaxing
10:15
after workwork. sort of my brain knows
10:17
to get into gear to like start
10:19
going through patient results when I sit
10:21
down at my work desk. I mean
10:23
for better or for worse could I
10:25
cultivate that somewhere else? Maybe, but I
10:27
think for some people I'm probably not
10:29
the only person who gets a little
10:31
bit of a priming benefit from being
10:33
in a work zone. That's number one
10:35
positive. Yeah. What are another? Okay, so
10:38
this one and I think this one
10:40
I sort of alluded to and as
10:42
one of my... biggest biggest ones is
10:44
just that face-to-face communication is less tiring
10:46
and more enjoyable for most people when
10:48
you're actually doing it in person versus
10:50
on a screen. There are just all
10:52
of these, I think it's actually more
10:54
important when you are explaining something that
10:56
someone doesn't understand or interacting with someone
10:58
that you don't know very well. Like
11:00
I don't really have a problem connecting
11:02
with you on a screen right now,
11:04
but... If I were pitching something or
11:06
I was like trying to get a
11:08
sense of like what you thought, it's
11:10
just so much harder to sort of
11:12
tailor the discussion based on someone else's
11:14
reaction when you're not looking at them.
11:16
It also is just harder for you
11:18
to see if they're understanding. So that
11:20
gets again, like if you're in any
11:23
kind of a job where a lot
11:25
of times you are explaining things to
11:27
people, it gets so weirdly tiring when
11:29
you're trying to do it with this
11:31
like medium in between. So for that
11:33
in person I think it's just more
11:35
pleasant, more relaxing. And one example I'll
11:37
use from my non-clinical life is that
11:39
we used to do these big residency
11:41
recruitment blitzes where we'd like interview batches
11:43
of 12 to 15 applicants at once
11:45
for our residency program and we did
11:47
it in person and then we had
11:49
COVID so we went to Zoom. I
11:51
found it so much more tiring on
11:53
Zoom. to give the speech and to
11:55
smile and to stay engaged and to
11:57
even like gauge these people like it
11:59
was harder to really get an impression
12:01
of anybody through a screen than it
12:03
was in person. Now was it more
12:06
practical for them? Absolutely, but then at
12:08
the on the downside for them they
12:10
weren't able to actually see the place
12:12
where they might spend the next God
12:14
knows how many years of their life
12:16
so I don't know there's pluses and
12:18
minuses but for me that zoom fatigue
12:20
is real and I much prefer the
12:22
efficiency. Yes, it is like their efficiencies
12:24
gain from face-to-face communication. That sounds backwards
12:26
because you're not driving somewhere, but just
12:28
the read on people on the way
12:30
that you can understand each other. All
12:32
right. Let's just quick run through like
12:34
other people being in the home. Yes,
12:36
so that's another huge benefit from my
12:38
perspective is that when I'm at work
12:40
seeing patients, my kids are not at
12:42
work with me seeing patients. So I
12:44
am like really can be in the
12:46
zone. And if I, you know, I
12:48
guess I could get texted by something.
12:51
aren't there. So the opportunity to get
12:53
interrupted, especially if there are half days,
12:55
if there are, you know, you have
12:57
important things to do with that four
12:59
o'clock hour when kids would otherwise be
13:01
arriving home, I much prefer being somewhere
13:03
else if I'm trying to get work
13:05
done. And that also holds true for
13:07
non-kid related home obligations. Like you aren't
13:09
going to be the default package getter
13:11
or repair person because you aren't there.
13:13
You cannot talk to the exterminator because
13:15
you aren't there. Or maybe you and
13:17
your partner now have to negotiate instead
13:19
of you always being the default one
13:21
if you happen to previously have the
13:23
more flexible job. Now I know that
13:25
can actually be logistically problematic. for some
13:27
people because if you don't have anybody
13:29
at home, then it just becomes hard
13:31
to do those things in general. But
13:33
if you do have kids and you
13:36
have someone at home with those kids
13:38
for at least part of the day,
13:40
then sometimes that person can then absorb
13:42
that role that you would have been
13:44
doing if you were there and everybody
13:46
wins. Yeah, I would say, well, even
13:48
if you are working from home, hopefully
13:50
if you have young kids, you have
13:52
somebody caring for them other than you.
13:54
And one of the things of having
13:56
it be a paid payed caregaregiver, a
13:58
paid caregiver, a paid caregiver, make sure they
14:00
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14:02
one of our job descriptions with our nannies,
14:04
which there's also people I know who have
14:07
talked to who have been trying to work from
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home and their partner is staying home with their
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kids. And that's a much harder one to navigate
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quick, Sarah, office culture is potentially a
18:11
positive for people being back in more
18:13
of a face-to-face environment. Yeah, one thing
18:16
that I enjoy about going to work
18:18
in a physical location is that office
18:20
culture grows naturally that way. And I've
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friends. So it can be fun to
18:32
celebrate a birthday, a holiday, or just
18:34
even chat for a few minutes. Plus
18:37
there's a side benefit of the casual
18:39
work that might be a... easy to
18:41
kind of fit in on the fly.
18:44
I have colleagues that will walk into
18:46
each other's office and be like, I
18:48
got these set of laughs on a
18:51
patient, they don't totally make sense to
18:53
me, let's, can we talk about it?
18:55
And yes, that could happen. You could
18:58
kind of like text someone and see
19:00
if they wanted to call you or
19:02
face time you, but it might be
19:05
less likely to happen with that person
19:07
not being accessible like that. Yeah, although
19:09
I would say you're not in the
19:12
office five days of work. that are
19:14
best done together in person, that casual
19:16
back and forth banter. And then there's
19:19
other kinds that casual back and forth
19:21
banter is taking you away from doing,
19:23
right? There's certain sort of heads down
19:26
concentration kind of work that is quite
19:28
difficult to do if people are bopping
19:30
by being like, what do you think
19:32
of this? And if that's less likely
19:35
to happen, that can be a benefit
19:37
for that sorts of work. So again,
19:39
this is why hybrid work tends to
19:42
be the best option then with some
19:44
guidelines around it, but mostly be. people
19:46
being treated as adults. But yet, those
19:49
are some things that think about possibly
19:51
ways to reframe this, but we had
19:53
a few sort of survival tactics to
19:56
talk about as well. One is if
19:58
you do suddenly have a longer commute
20:00
that you were having to do more
20:03
frequently, try to think of this as
20:05
me time. Like yes, commuting is often
20:07
boring, stressful, but it's too much time
20:10
to completely write off in your life.
20:12
So as you are planning your weeks.
20:14
Plan your commutes, right? Actually, think of
20:17
this time. Think of what you will
20:19
do during this time. For a lot
20:21
of people, that's things like listening to
20:24
audio books. So make sure that your
20:26
audio books are packed. You've chosen well
20:28
for the week. You're excited about what
20:31
you're going to listen to. Or maybe
20:33
you've chosen an album to listen to.
20:35
Or Tuesday morning. Listen to before breakfast,
20:38
your commute is probably not that short.
20:40
It's like four minutes. But on Wednesdays,
20:42
I do an interview that's a little
20:45
closer to 30 minutes. So you could
20:47
listen to that. So we figured out
20:49
three other days already. Three mornings you've
20:52
got something. But you know, it can
20:54
also be a rev up or decompression
20:56
time, right, Sarah? Oh, totally. I, for
20:59
me, that's. an enormous benefit. I usually
21:01
do, lately I've been doing music in
21:03
the morning and then podcast in the
21:06
afternoon, and I've done it actually either
21:08
direction, I kind of like to mix
21:10
it up, but my kids usually want
21:13
to play various of their music in
21:15
the morning, and then I sort of
21:17
pivot to my music once I've dropped
21:20
off the last kid on the way
21:22
to the office, and then I sort
21:24
of pivot to my music once I've
21:27
dropped off the last kid on the
21:29
way to the office. And then I
21:31
have someone who would say I even
21:34
hate my music in the morning. what
21:36
makes a commute bad is a big
21:38
unpredictability aspect because you're like always hoping
21:41
it's going to be pretty good but
21:43
if you can engineer a commute that's
21:45
at least even if it's not that
21:48
short if it's fairly predictable obviously people
21:50
don't have control over that but you
21:52
can just see it as like all
21:55
right I got 30 minutes I'm hanging
21:57
out in the car I can either
21:59
call someone or I can listen to
22:02
something, but like, I don't really have
22:04
anything else to do. I can't really
22:06
do anything else productive, so I might as
22:08
well enjoy it. Yeah. A commute can
22:11
also be social time. I mean, probably
22:13
not every day, but carpooling never really
22:15
caught on as a big hit because
22:17
people value the flexibility of having their
22:19
own vehicle, but there might be some
22:22
people that you like enough to forego
22:24
that flexibility just on occasion. So
22:26
commuting with a friend once every two
22:28
weeks, like if you work anywhere near a
22:31
friend of yours, that could be an amazing
22:33
way to build in some time together, or
22:35
maybe it's with your spouse once a week
22:37
or so. Even if it's like 10 minutes
22:39
outside your normal drive, it might be
22:41
worth it to you, an extra 20
22:44
minutes in order to spend like that
22:46
extra 90 minutes therein back with your
22:48
spouse once a week. It might be as
22:50
much time as you guys get together as
22:52
you guys get together if you have young
22:54
kids and a busy life. Yeah, it's funny
22:56
when I, when Josh first started working
22:59
at the same health system I did,
23:01
I was like, oh, we'll go to
23:03
work together. That's happened zero times. Because
23:05
he doesn't actually work at the same
23:08
hospital that I do. There's really no
23:10
opportunity for that. But it would
23:12
have been cute if it had worked
23:14
out. It would have been cute. Another
23:17
sort of survival strategy, mentally at least,
23:19
is to quote a certain Sarah Hart Unger,
23:21
make it worth the commute, right Sarah? Because
23:23
you may have to go in, but just
23:25
for your own sanity, make sure there is
23:27
at least something you are doing when you
23:29
are in the office that would have been
23:31
hard to do remotely. In many cases,
23:34
that is something that is social. So
23:36
try to start a regular lunch group,
23:38
maybe plug into or start your
23:40
own employee resource group. Maybe it's a
23:42
mentoring program or a mentoring connection that
23:44
you are committing to mentor someone once
23:46
a week or so, so you know
23:48
you're going in to talk with them.
23:51
But something that makes it very clear why
23:53
you are doing this because yeah if you have
23:55
a day where you're just emailing and calling
23:57
people in other places it will feel
24:00
very tedious and we would like to
24:02
avoid that if possible. Yes. Now the
24:04
next thing would be boundaries. Kind of
24:06
as we implied in the very beginning,
24:08
if you can't work from home then,
24:10
that gives you the leeway to say
24:12
you're not going to work from home.
24:14
No, we're kidding. We're being tongue-in-cheek about
24:16
that aspect of it, but sometimes it
24:18
can. kind of promote a little bit
24:20
of a natural separation and I will
24:22
say for myself I struggle much more
24:24
with kind of shutting down on days
24:26
that I'm working for myself at home
24:28
versus days that I'm driving home and
24:30
I'm driving home it's like very very
24:32
obvious like I was at work and
24:34
now I'm done with work and I
24:36
don't generally take home clinical work unless
24:38
it's a call week or something like
24:40
that so if you are someone who
24:43
struggles with the boundaries maybe you could
24:45
reframe as like this will help me
24:47
to set clearer boundaries doing very specific
24:49
split shifts at certain times if work
24:51
necessitates it. Yeah, because one of the
24:53
things that I definitely found studying people's
24:55
schedules in the pre-covid era, people worry
24:57
with a long commute that if you
24:59
have young kids who go to bed
25:01
relatively early, you will have very limited
25:03
time with them on weekday evenings. You
25:05
might have time with them on weekends.
25:07
But the weekday evening, if you have
25:09
a child who goes to bed at
25:11
like 7 or 730 and you're not
25:13
home from your commute until 630, it
25:15
sort of limits the evening. Again, my
25:17
children never did this. I would read
25:19
about people doing this. I'm like, oh,
25:21
that sounds rough. Like, my child has
25:23
never gone to bed at 730 p.m.
25:25
Then you might consider working a split
25:27
shift. which is that you get out
25:30
of your office as soon as humanly
25:32
possible. I don't know, try to end
25:34
at 4.35 Max, but start the commute
25:36
then, get home, have a longer evening
25:38
with your family, and then do a
25:40
little bit of work at night after
25:42
the kids went to bed. Because I'm
25:44
probably believing in a lot of these
25:46
jobs you actually can work from home,
25:48
it's just that you're not supposed to.
25:50
but if you're doing it at nine
25:52
o'clock at night people will probably be
25:54
fine with it. Yeah and we've talked
25:56
about this before but usually you want
25:58
that work from home to be doing
26:00
a specific project getting a discrete thing
26:02
done versus like I'm just gonna like
26:04
go into my email and like browse
26:06
around a little bit. Yeah you are
26:08
not going to get through a 1000
26:10
email backlog from nine to ten at
26:12
night like so don't try like they
26:15
make yourself a to-do list for this
26:17
split second shift saying okay these are
26:19
the three things I... did not finish
26:21
before I left the office today, and
26:23
do in fact have to do before
26:25
tomorrow. So maybe preparing for a meeting,
26:27
sending two responses to email, and whatever,
26:29
something else you had to do. That's
26:31
a more reasonable thing to do. We
26:33
want to be intentional about breaks, right,
26:35
Sarah? Yeah, and I think this is
26:37
particularly important when you're out of work
26:39
because it might require a little bit
26:41
of preparation. So maybe it means asking
26:43
a friend to go out to lunch
26:45
with you once a week. Maybe that
26:47
means bringing a book so you can
26:49
spend your lunch time doing that or
26:51
bringing comfortable shoes. You can take a
26:53
walk during lunch, but most work days
26:55
are not going to be like you
26:57
doing intense work from the minute you
27:00
get there until the minute you clock
27:02
out. whether you actually clock out or
27:04
not, but you know what I mean.
27:06
And so it makes sense to actually
27:08
think about how you might want to
27:10
spend those breaks well rather than just
27:12
kind of letting them happen in default
27:14
activity, probably scrolling, not going to be
27:16
that thrilling. Yeah, especially if you do
27:18
need to leave early for your commute
27:20
and in winter you're somewhere that the
27:22
commute will get you home after the
27:24
sun has gone down. you probably want
27:26
to arrange to see the sky in
27:28
the course of your workday. So take
27:30
some sort of break where you get
27:32
outside, whether that's to grab coffee at
27:34
a local coffee shop, just to go
27:36
for a 10-minute walk somewhere, if you
27:38
go out for lunch, or just invent
27:40
a reason to go outside. Like you
27:42
don't actually need one. The Gen Z's
27:45
are all touch grass. We're like, no,
27:47
see the sky. See the sky. Okay,
27:49
well, you could touch the grass and
27:51
see the grass and see the sky,
27:53
I don't. I don't know. I don't
27:55
know. but the sky you might be
27:57
able to still see so I totally
27:59
I like it totally And you want
28:01
to also want to make sure that
28:03
you've planned in time for your personal
28:05
to do's because these things don't stop
28:07
just because you are working in an
28:09
office and you probably feel a little
28:11
bit, you know, there's some things that
28:14
will be harder to do if you are
28:16
in an office as opposed to in a
28:18
home office in terms of managing life
28:20
administration and such that has
28:22
to happen. So you might need to
28:24
strategically plan in a personal day every
28:27
so often. to take care of anything that
28:29
is hard to make happen. Agree, I
28:31
used to do a lot of that, because
28:33
there's certain things that just have to
28:35
be business hours, and certain things where
28:37
it has to be you, like going
28:40
to your own doctor's appointment or getting
28:42
your passport renewed, like you cannot outsource
28:44
those things, even if you'd like to,
28:46
so I would strategically have like a
28:48
full day off every couple of months
28:50
or so and try to batch things, because
28:52
it's true, you won't have that
28:55
flexibility, Exactly. We're going to
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take one more quick ad break and
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33:01
we are back talking all things
33:03
RTO returning to the office especially
33:05
for people who are in a
33:07
situation where you now need to
33:09
be in your workplace in person
33:12
five days a week, which as
33:14
we discussed earlier, is probably overkill,
33:16
but we are dealing with life
33:18
as it is, not as we
33:20
wish it would be. The key
33:22
thing to think about is that
33:24
if you are no longer at
33:27
home during the day, you may
33:29
need to account for presence, like
33:31
somebody being there at various points,
33:33
that you may have taken for
33:35
granted that that was you at
33:37
previous points, but now you're going
33:39
to have to figure out how
33:41
that's going to work. So packages
33:44
that might not to be signed
33:46
for, like that's not going to
33:48
work. your dog. You can't walk
33:50
the dog as a break if
33:52
you are not there. Meeting contractors,
33:54
which again is a massive time-suck
33:56
if you are working from home.
33:58
but you may have been the
34:01
one who did it if like
34:03
there was a sudden leak that
34:05
happened in your household or emergency
34:07
child care stuff if you and
34:09
your partner are both working an
34:12
hour away from your kids school
34:14
you need to figure out who
34:16
and how somebody gets there if
34:18
there's someone who is like vomiting
34:21
profusely what goes on you
34:23
know? I mean, I feel like some schools
34:25
are just going to have to wait
34:27
an hour because realistically parents are going
34:29
to work and if parents are required
34:31
to work at their workplaces, like, that's hard
34:34
to have everybody have a backup person
34:36
in case their kid happen to get
34:38
sick in the middle of the day
34:40
and they're too far away. School? Deal with
34:42
it. Yeah, I know. So if you have
34:44
family living beer by, that could be yet another
34:46
thing you ask them to help with if
34:48
that happens or having a network
34:50
of... babysitters or something that some people
34:53
have during the day availability again just as
34:55
an option or you know and kids get
34:57
sick too and if you cannot work from
34:59
home that would require you to take
35:01
a sick day yourself which seems very
35:03
inefficient from the point of view of the
35:05
organization but I'm not sure how they're dealing
35:08
with that if they're not allowing people to
35:10
work from home I guess you're just not
35:12
allowed to have sick children I
35:14
don't know. Oh my goodness my hope
35:17
is that in instances like that or
35:19
Because that's an interesting question. Like let's
35:21
say there is a hurricane warning and
35:24
everyone's home, but there's no hurricane yet.
35:26
Would the company rather make everyone
35:28
take PL and have nothing get accomplished
35:30
that day? Or were they rather on
35:33
specific occasions, let them work from home?
35:35
Oh my goodness. I don't know. Yeah. I'm
35:37
pretty sure that it is possible to
35:39
work from home. Like this idea that
35:42
you can't, yeah, there's a giant snowstorm.
35:44
Like people, of course you'd rather have
35:46
people work from home than lose a
35:49
week of productivity, but yes, I think
35:51
it's a very short-sided idea, but whatever,
35:53
we do feel for people who are
35:55
dealing with this, this situation. We
35:57
do. This is hard. We're thinking of you.
36:00
and we were trying to offer some good,
36:02
we're trying to keep your spirits up
36:04
and give you some ideas. And there
36:06
is always, I did mention here also
36:08
that keep kicking butt at your job
36:10
because the more awesome you are and
36:12
the more valuable you are, you never
36:14
know, maybe you could start by negotiating
36:16
away some of this requirement. If they
36:18
really, really need you badly enough, I
36:20
guess it depends on the company culture,
36:22
but maybe you would have some wiggle
36:24
room there. Yeah, or even if the
36:26
company culture is the expectation, you're there,
36:28
if it's not truly centrally enforced, then
36:30
your manager may be like, whatever. Like,
36:32
I know she's going to get her
36:34
work done. And you can always go
36:36
look for another job, because there are
36:38
still plenty of places that treat people
36:41
like adults and say, you know, you
36:43
can work in the office a certain
36:45
number of days, you can work from
36:47
home as you decide is necessary, and
36:49
we look forward to seeing that more
36:51
people want to work there than work
36:53
elsewhere. I can't believe we were able
36:55
to record this episode remotely Laura. You
36:57
know how is that even possible Sarah?
36:59
It's like how could this business exist
37:01
if people can't work from home? All
37:03
right well we'll get to our Q&A.
37:05
All right so Sarah sent me a
37:07
two-part question I think we're just going
37:09
to do the second part because that
37:11
was the it's a multi-part question okay
37:13
so she says we're looking at this
37:15
is a family with two looking at
37:17
three children. We are looking at moving
37:19
closer to extended family in a couple
37:21
years right when our oldest child is
37:23
getting close to kindergarten age. I understand
37:25
schools should be a major factor in
37:27
where exactly to buy a house, but
37:29
how does one actually figure out which
37:32
are the good schools? I am told
37:34
the best way is to talk to
37:36
parents there, but since we currently live
37:38
out of state, that seems tricky. Any
37:40
tips on evaluating quality of schools. projecting
37:42
forward to see what middle or high
37:44
school options kids might have and where
37:46
a school district is headed over the
37:48
next 15 years? Am I vastly overthinking
37:50
of this? But I don't want to
37:52
get stuck either moving or paying three
37:54
private school tuitions. Any tips about what
37:56
to think about in general and planning
37:58
to settle in a larger metropolitan area
38:00
as they work? parent. Okay, Sarah. Well,
38:02
I think it's a good thing to
38:04
think about. I don't, I wouldn't put
38:06
this under the category of overthinking or
38:08
anything like that, although the idea they're
38:10
gonna know exactly what the schools are
38:12
gonna look like in 15 years. Yeah,
38:14
we probably can't help too much with
38:16
that piece, but I think it is
38:18
worth asking around. Like, you can do
38:20
a lot online sleuthing, like find out
38:22
if there are bulletin boards for that.
38:25
community on Facebook or what's up or
38:27
whatever and or on read it actually
38:29
I've seen this kind of thing as
38:31
then you can just sort of say
38:33
I'm thinking about moving to blah blah
38:35
blah city like what are the most
38:37
awesome school districts are are you really
38:39
happy in one of the school districts
38:41
and you'll start to see patterns most
38:43
likely all this said of course like
38:45
your kid's success is probably gonna have
38:47
a lot more to do with the
38:49
kid than the specific school that they
38:51
go to and I will give you
38:53
the disclaimer that we move to our
38:55
area three private school tuitions partly just
38:57
because the needs of our kids were
38:59
a little bit different than we had
39:01
anticipated and it turned out the fit
39:03
was the best and since we could
39:05
do it we just went in that
39:07
direction but no regrets because a area
39:09
that has really good school districts tends
39:11
to have a lot of kids and
39:13
a big kind of kid culture which
39:15
means lots of activities and playgrounds and
39:18
community events and stuff like that. So
39:20
all those things tend to track together
39:22
and I would do the best you
39:24
can to get some people to kind
39:26
of share. Yeah, a real estate agent
39:28
also might know. Yeah, yeah, no, that's
39:30
true. Where would you suggest in this
39:32
area we look if we really value
39:34
having good public schools? Yeah, we moved
39:36
to this area, you know, I'm in
39:38
the Lower Marian Township in Pennsylvania, a
39:40
lot because we had heard the public
39:42
schools were very good here, and I
39:44
think they are. If you went to
39:46
a selective college, you've probably met people
39:48
from the various high schools in this
39:50
area. And so you might also look
39:52
around, like do you hear about the
39:54
high schools in that area in like
39:56
state competitions, in national competitions? Do people
39:58
mention the area? as being higher priced
40:00
because of the schools, right? Like you
40:02
will see that in real estate ads,
40:04
like they'll say, like this is in
40:07
this district, in the first line in
40:09
the real estate ads. Economics are funny
40:11
that way, because she says she doesn't
40:13
want to pay three private school tuitions.
40:15
You may wind up having that baked into
40:17
your house price if you choose a
40:19
very good public school district. You are
40:21
kind of paying the tuition in
40:23
the form of your granite countertops,
40:26
but. That's just kind of the
40:28
way economics works, right? But just
40:30
other things to look at, have the
40:32
teachers been there forever? That might
40:34
be something you could sleuth out.
40:37
Because if very few teachers
40:39
are quitting that neighborhood elementary
40:41
school, that might be something
40:43
that suggests it's a pretty
40:45
good place to work when
40:47
people love to work somewhere.
40:49
That generally means it's pretty
40:51
good. All right, well, linking this
40:54
to our earlier segment though. I would
40:56
say like patient care, education is
40:58
something that probably doesn't work as
41:00
well virtually. I've had several kids
41:02
do online classes and it definitely
41:05
can work for older kids, especially
41:07
for subjects that you wouldn't be able
41:09
to get otherwise. I think for things
41:11
like six-year-olds, not so good with
41:14
remote work. Definitely was not
41:16
successful in our house than to tell
41:18
you. I mean, we did that experiment in
41:20
2020. Yeah, like adults who are doing
41:22
something versus six-year-olds and what they are
41:24
capable of managing in terms of their
41:27
own time attention and so forth. So,
41:29
you know, there's something we shouldn't have
41:31
offices that are treating people like six-year-olds,
41:34
but I digress. Look for places
41:36
that teachers love teaching. Look for places
41:38
where it's mentioned in the real estate
41:40
ads. Look for the high schools
41:42
being mentioned in competitions in competitions
41:45
and competitions and competitions.
41:47
And yeah. Just always keep an open mind
41:49
though, because even the best school district, it
41:52
might not work for your own kid for one
41:54
reason or the other. And it might be so much
41:56
cheaper to live somewhere that doesn't have good
41:58
schools at the private school. payment question
42:00
is a wash and also depending on
42:02
what state you are in there are
42:04
different vouchers and all sorts of things
42:06
we could get into so that are
42:09
a little bit too political for this
42:11
podcast but they happen to exist in
42:13
various places no matter what we do
42:15
think of them yeah all right moving
42:17
on I think that was enough but
42:19
love on the week all right Sarah
42:21
yours is a new love Yeah, I
42:24
mean I've always loved it, but not
42:26
really used it. So decaf coffee, just
42:28
so glad it exists because I'm not
42:30
fully on decaf, but like, I feel
42:32
like I'm somewhat sensitive to caffeine right
42:34
now, but I can still have coffee
42:36
and I can have like a little
42:38
bit of caffeine and like modulate that
42:41
based on the ratio of caffeine, so
42:43
I'm just like very happy. And I
42:45
can go to Starbucks and get decaf
42:47
capachinos and stuff and this is good.
42:49
Yeah, that it actually existsists. Because I
42:51
don't like really like tea that much
42:53
so it's good to have. How do
42:55
they decafenate coffee? I don't know it's
42:58
Swiss, but it always says Swiss process.
43:00
I'm like I don't know what that
43:02
process is but those Swiss have figured
43:04
it out. Somehow it takes out the
43:06
the caffeine or you could have places
43:08
that just add caffeine for no real
43:10
reason just to make their drinks, their
43:12
juices more addictive. That's exciting too. So
43:15
I'm going to say that I'm going
43:17
to. I'm so not fancy. But the
43:19
seltzer water, because I've gotten to that
43:21
as my evening drink of choice, it
43:23
is probably better than having a craft
43:25
beer in general, and yet you still
43:27
want something that's a little special and
43:29
bubbly, not juice or coke or anything
43:32
like that. So drinking a lot of
43:34
parier right now. I feel like parier
43:36
is like, like, I drink a lot
43:38
of liqueuroy, but parier is classier. Yeah.
43:40
I think that's cool. Some of my
43:42
children have, you know, we get the
43:44
lachroi too, that, you know, I kind
43:46
of think of the pariahs as mine,
43:49
and the lachroa is for the kids,
43:51
but then I have one or two
43:53
kids who see me drinking the parion,
43:55
they want the pariah, and then they
43:57
take like two steps and check the
43:59
cannon. me so, so unhappy. It is
44:01
sad. Why? Why did you do that? All
44:04
right, well this has been best of
44:06
both worlds. We've been talking
44:08
return to office strategies, ways
44:10
of thinking about it, strategies
44:12
for making the most of
44:14
your day, for not losing
44:16
your sanity over the commute.
44:18
We will be back next
44:21
week with more on making work
44:23
and life fit together. Thanks
44:26
for listening. You can find
44:28
me, Sarah, at the shoebox.com,
44:30
or at the underscore shoebox
44:32
on Instagram. And you can
44:34
find me, Laura, at Lauravandercam.com.
44:36
This has been the best
44:38
of both worlds' podcast. Please
44:41
join us next time for
44:43
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44:45
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