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it. I really do. Best BookBits.com

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brings you the book summary of the

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happiness hypothesis finding modern truth in ancient

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wisdom by Jonathan Hite. The author of

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the number one New York Times bestseller

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The Anxious Generation shows how a deeper

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understanding of the world's philosophical wisdom can

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enrich and transform our lives. The happiness

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hypothesis is a book about 10 great

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save a one idea that has been

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discovered by several of the world civilizations

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to question it. in light of what

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we now know from scientific research and

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to extract from it its lessons

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that still apply to where modern

1:00

lives and eliminate the courses of

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human flourishing. A ward-winning psychologist Jonathan

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Hite shows a deeper understanding of

1:06

the world's philosophical wisdom and its

1:08

enduring maximums like to want others

1:10

as you would have others do

1:12

want to you or what doesn't

1:15

kill you makes you stronger. Kenning

1:17

Rich and transform our lives. Before

1:19

we start this summary we at

1:21

Best Bookwits done over 1,000 book

1:23

summaries in video at the audio

1:25

format so follow us at Best Bookbits.com,

1:27

watch us at YouTube and listen to

1:29

us on Apple podcast. On with the book

1:31

summary. We might already have encountered

1:33

the greatest ideas, the insight that

1:36

would have transformed us had we saved

1:38

it, taken it to heart and worked it into

1:40

our lives. The foundational idea of this

1:42

book. The mind is divided into parts

1:44

that sometimes conflict, like a rider on

1:47

the back of an elephant. The conscious

1:49

reasoning part of the mind has

1:51

only limited control of what the elephant

1:53

does. I'm a rider on the back of an

1:56

elephant. I'm holding the reins in my hands

1:58

and pulling one way or the other. I

2:00

can tell the elephant to turn,

2:02

to stop, or to go. I

2:04

can direct things, but only when

2:06

the elephant doesn't have the desires

2:08

of his own. When the elephant

2:10

really wants to do something, I'm

2:12

no match for him." Bouda said,

2:14

Our life is the creation of

2:16

our mind. The Golden Rule, reciprocity

2:18

is the most important tool for

2:20

getting along with people. Human thinking

2:22

depends on metaphor. We understand new

2:24

and complex things in relation to

2:26

things we already know. Desire and

2:28

reason are pulling in different directions.

2:30

I see the right way and

2:32

approve it but follow the wrong.

2:34

Confabulation. When we fabricate reasons to

2:36

explain our own behaviour, the writer

2:38

is a good at inventing, convincing

2:40

explanations for his behaviour, even when

2:42

it has no knowledge of the

2:44

causes of your behaviour. When the

2:46

rest of us look out at

2:48

the world, our emotional brains have

2:50

instantly and automatically appraised the possibilities.

2:52

One possibility usually jumps out of

2:54

this as the obvious best one.

2:57

We need only to use reason

2:59

to weigh the pros and cons

3:01

when two or three possibilities seem

3:03

equally good. Human rationality depends critically

3:05

on sophisticated emotionality. It is only

3:07

because our emotional brains work so

3:09

well that our reasoning can work

3:11

at all. Exposure to words related

3:13

to the elderly makes people walk

3:15

more slowly. Words related to professors

3:17

make people smarter at the game

3:19

of trivial pursuit and words related

3:21

to soccer horgens makes people dumber.

3:23

Automatic processes have been through thousands

3:25

of product cycles and are nearly

3:27

perfect. This difference in maturity between

3:29

automatic and controlled processes helps explain

3:31

why we have inexpensive computers that

3:33

can solve logic math and chess

3:35

problems better than any human beings

3:37

can. Most of us struggle with

3:39

these tasks, but none. of our

3:41

robots no matter how costly can

3:43

walk through the woods as well

3:45

as the average six-year-old child. Our

3:47

perceptual and motor skills are superb.

3:49

Marshmallow experiment. The successful children were

3:51

those who locked away from the

3:53

temptation or were able to think

3:55

about other enjoyable activities. These thinking

3:57

skills are an aspect of a

3:59

emotional intelligence, an ability to understand

4:01

and regulate one's own feelings and

4:03

desires. An emotionally intelligent person has

4:05

a skilled writer who knows how

4:07

to distract and coax the elephant

4:09

without having to engage in a

4:11

direct contest of wheels. It's hard

4:13

for the control system to beat

4:15

the automatic system by willpower alone.

4:17

Once you understand the power of

4:19

stimulus control you can use it

4:21

to your advantage by changing the

4:24

stimuli in your environment and avoiding

4:26

undesirable ones. by choosing to stare

4:28

at something that revolts the automatic

4:30

system, the rider can begin to

4:32

change what the elephant will want

4:34

in the future. Whenever I am

4:36

on a cliff, a rooftop or

4:38

a high balcony, the empt of

4:40

the perverse whispers in my ear,

4:42

jump, it's not a command, it's

4:44

just a word that pops into

4:46

the consciousness. When I'm at a

4:48

dinner party sitting next to someone

4:50

I respect, the imp works hard

4:52

to suggest the most inappropriate things

4:54

I could possibly say. Who or

4:56

what? is the imp. Dan Wickner,

4:58

one of the most perverse and

5:00

creative social psychologists, has dragged the

5:02

imp into a lab and made

5:04

it confess to being an aspect

5:06

of the automatic processing. Moral judgment

5:08

is like aesthetic judgment. When you

5:10

are seen a painting, you usually

5:12

know instantly and automatically with you

5:14

like it. If someone asks you

5:16

to explain your judgment, you confabulate.

5:18

moral arguments are much the same

5:20

two people feel strongly about an

5:22

issue their feelings come first and

5:24

their reasons are invented on the

5:26

fly to throw at each other

5:28

when you refute a person's judgment

5:30

does she generally change her mind

5:32

and agree with you of course

5:34

not because the argument you defeated

5:36

was not the cause of her

5:38

position it was made up after

5:40

the judgment was already made in

5:42

moral arguments the right it goes

5:44

beyond being just an advisor to

5:46

the elephant. He becomes a lawyer

5:49

fighting in court of public opinion

5:51

to persuade others of the elephant's

5:53

point of view. What we are

5:55

today comes from our thoughts of

5:57

yesterday and our present thoughts build

5:59

our life of tomorrow. Our life

6:01

is the creation of our mind.

6:03

To take something philosophically means to

6:05

accept a great misfortune without weeping

6:07

or even suffering, we use this

6:09

term in part because of the

6:11

calmness, self-controlled, encourage that three ancient

6:13

philosophers, Socrates, Seneca, and Bewithius, showed

6:15

while they awaited their executions. Adverse

6:17

fortune is more beneficial than good

6:19

fortune. The latter only makes men

6:21

greedy for more, but adversity makes

6:23

them strong. No man can ever

6:25

be secure until he has been

6:27

forsaken by fortune. Nothing brings happiness

6:29

unless you are content with

6:31

it. Epiphanies can be life altering,

6:33

but most fade in days or weeks.

6:35

The rider can't just decide to change

6:38

and then order the elephant to go

6:40

along with the program. Lasting change can

6:42

only come by retraining the elephant

6:44

and that's hard to do. Whenever

6:47

you see a word that resembles

6:49

your name, a little flash of

6:51

pleasure biases you toward thinking the

6:53

thing is good. People named Dennis

6:55

and or Denise are slightly more

6:57

likely than people with other names

6:59

to become more dentist. Men named

7:01

Lawrence and women named Lori are

7:03

more likely to become lawyers. Lewis and

7:05

Louise are more likely to be moved

7:08

to Louisiana or St. Louis and Georgiana

7:10

and Georgina are more likely to move

7:12

to Georgia. The own name preference even

7:15

shows up in marriage records. People are

7:17

slightly more likely to marry people with

7:19

whose names sound like their own. Even

7:22

if this similarity is just sharing. are

7:24

first initial. Bad is stronger than

7:26

good. Responses to threats and unpleasantness

7:28

are faster, stronger and hard to

7:31

inhibit than responses to opportunities and

7:33

pleasures. This principle called negative bias

7:35

shows up all over psychology. The

7:37

elephant reacts before the rider even

7:40

sees a snake on the path.

7:42

Although you can tell yourself that

7:44

you are not afraid of snakes,

7:46

if your elephant fears them and

7:49

rears up, you'll still be thrown.

7:51

Thoughts can cause emotions. as when

7:53

you reflect on a foolish thing

7:55

you said, but emotions can also

7:57

cause thoughts. Primarily by raising mental

7:59

filters. that bias subsequent information processing

8:01

a flash of fear makes you

8:03

extra vigilant for additional threats. You

8:05

look at the world through a

8:08

filter that interprets ambiguous events as

8:10

possible dangers. A flash of anger

8:12

towards someone raises the filter through

8:14

which you see everything the offending

8:16

person says or does as a

8:18

further insult or transgression. Feelings of

8:20

sadness blind you to all the

8:22

pleasures and opportunities. Genes make at

8:24

least some contribution to nearly every

8:27

trade. Whether the trade is intelligence,

8:29

extraversion, fearfulness, religiosity, political leaning, liking

8:31

for jazz, or dislike of spicy

8:33

foods. Identical twins are more similar

8:35

than for eternal twins and they

8:37

are usually almost as similar if

8:39

they were separated at birth. Genes

8:41

are not blueprints specifying the structure

8:43

of a person. They are better

8:45

thought of as recipes for producing

8:48

a person over many years. Cortical

8:50

lefties are less subject to depression

8:52

and recover more quickly from negative

8:54

experiences. The difference between cortical righties

8:56

and lefties can be seen even

8:58

in infants. Ten month old babies

9:00

showing more activity on the right

9:02

side are more likely to cry

9:04

when separated briefly from their mothers.

9:06

And this difference in infancy appears

9:09

to reflect an aspect of personality

9:11

that is stable for most people

9:13

all the way through adulthood. Babies

9:15

who show a lot more activity

9:17

on the right side of the

9:19

forehead become toddlers. who are more

9:21

anxious about novel situations as teenagers,

9:23

they are more likely to be

9:25

fearful about dating and social activities.

9:28

And finally, as adults, they are

9:30

more likely to need psychotherapy to

9:32

loosen up. Having lost out in

9:34

the cortical lottery, they will struggle

9:36

all their lives to weaken the

9:38

grip of an overactive withdrawal system.

9:40

John Milton's paraphrase of Aurelius, the

9:42

mind is its own place and

9:44

in itself can make a heaven

9:46

of hell, a hell of heaven.

9:49

You can change your effective style

9:51

too, but again, you can't do

9:53

it by sheer force of will,

9:55

you have to do something that

9:57

will change your repertoire of available

9:59

thoughts. Here are the three the

10:01

best methods for doing so. meditation,

10:03

cognitive therapy and Prozac. All three

10:05

are effective because they work on

10:07

the elephant. There are many kinds

10:10

of meditation but they all have

10:12

in common a conscious attempt to

10:14

force attention in a non-analytical way.

10:16

He mapped out the disorder thought

10:18

process characteristics of the repress people

10:20

and trained his patients to catch

10:22

and challenge these thoughts. Depress people

10:24

are caught in a feedback loop

10:26

in which distorted thoughts cause negative

10:29

feelings. which then distort thinking further.

10:31

Beck's discovery is that you can

10:33

break the cycle by changing the

10:35

thoughts. A big part of cognitive

10:37

therapy is training clients to catch

10:39

their thoughts, write them down, name

10:41

the distortions, and then find alternative

10:43

and more accurate ways of thinking.

10:45

Cognitive behavioral therapy. Prost wrote that

10:47

the only true voyage is not

10:50

to visit strange lands, but to

10:52

possess other eyes. horror fascinates me

10:54

particularly when there is no victim.

10:56

I study moral reactions to harmless

10:58

taboo violations such as the consensual

11:00

incest and private flag desecration. These

11:02

things just feel wrong to most

11:04

people even when they can't explain

11:06

why. Prozac, it's easy for those

11:09

who did well in the cortical

11:11

lottery to preach about the importance

11:13

of hard work and the unnaturalness

11:15

of chemical shortcuts. But for those

11:17

who, though no fault of their

11:19

own, ended up on the negative

11:21

half of the effective style spectrum.

11:23

Prozac is a way to compensate

11:25

for the unfairness of the cortical

11:27

lottery. Tit for TAT strategy is

11:30

to be nice on the first

11:32

round of interaction, but after that,

11:34

do to your partner whatever your

11:36

partner did to you on the

11:38

previous round. Gratitude and ventfulness are

11:40

big steps on the road that

11:42

led human to ultra-sociality and it's

11:44

important to realize that these are

11:46

two sides of the one coin.

11:48

It will be hard to evolve

11:51

one without the other. An individual

11:53

who had gratitude without ventfulness. would

11:55

be an easy mark for exploitation

11:57

and eventually an ungrateful individual. would

11:59

quickly alienate all possible cooperative partners.

12:01

Human beings ought to live in

12:03

groups of around 150 people. Judging

12:05

from the logarithm of our brain

12:07

size, and sure enough, studies of

12:10

a hundred gatherer groups, military units,

12:12

and city dwellers address hooks suggested

12:14

at 100 to 150 is the

12:16

natural group size within which people

12:18

can know just about everyone directly,

12:20

by name and face, and know

12:22

how each person is related to

12:24

everybody else. When you pass on

12:26

a piece of juicy gossip, What

12:28

happens? Your friends' reciprocity reflex kicks

12:31

in and she feels a slight

12:33

pressure to return the favour. If

12:35

she knows something about the person

12:37

or the event in question, she

12:39

is likely to speak up. Oh

12:41

really? Well I heard that he...

12:43

Gossip is overwhelmingly critical and it

12:45

is primarily about the moral and

12:47

social violations of others. When people

12:49

pass along high quality juicy gossip,

12:52

they feel more powerful, they have

12:54

better shared sense of what is

12:56

right and what is wrong and

12:58

they feel more closely connected to

13:00

their gossip. partners. Gossip is a

13:02

policeman and a teacher. Without it

13:04

there would be chaos and ignorance.

13:06

Gossip paired with reciprocity allows karma

13:08

to work here on earth, not

13:11

in the next life. Scandal is

13:13

a great entertainment because it allows

13:15

people to feel contempt a moral

13:17

emotion that gives feeling of moral

13:19

superiority while asking nothing in return.

13:21

With contempt you don't need to

13:23

be right or wrong as with

13:25

anger or flee the scene as

13:27

with fear or disgust and best

13:29

of all contempt. is made to

13:32

share. Stories about the moral failings

13:34

of others are among the most

13:36

common kinds of gossip. The great

13:38

majority of mankind are satisfied with

13:40

appearances as though they were realities

13:42

and are often more influenced by

13:44

the things that seemed than those

13:46

that are so convenient a thing

13:48

is it to be a reasonable

13:51

creature since it enables one to

13:53

final make a reason for everything

13:55

one has a mind to do.

13:57

Benjamin Franklin People will hold pervasive

13:59

positive illusion. about themselves, their abilities

14:01

and their future prospects are mentally

14:03

healthier, happier and better liked than

14:05

people who lack such illusions. People

14:07

really are open to information that

14:09

will predict the behaviour of others,

14:12

but they refuse to adjust their

14:14

self-assessments. Naive realism. Each of us

14:16

thinks we see the world directly

14:18

as it really is. We believe

14:20

that the facts as we see

14:22

them are there for all to

14:24

see. Therefore, others should agree with

14:26

this. If they don't agree, it

14:28

follows either that they have not

14:30

yet been exposed to the relevant

14:33

facts or else they have been

14:35

blinded by their interest and ideologies.

14:37

People acknowledge that their own backgrounds

14:39

have shaped their views, but such

14:41

experiences are inevitably seen as deepening

14:43

one's insights. For example, being a

14:45

doctor gives a person special insight

14:47

into the problems of their health

14:49

care industry. But the background of

14:52

other people is used to explain

14:54

their biases and convert motivation. For

14:56

example, doctors think that lawyers disagree

14:58

with them about tort reform, not

15:00

because the work with their victims

15:02

or malpractice, and therefore have their

15:04

own special insights. But because their

15:06

self-interest biases, they're thinking, it seems

15:08

plain as day to the naive

15:10

realist that everyone is influenced by

15:13

ideology and self-interest, except for me,

15:15

I see things as they are.

15:17

If I could nominate one candidate

15:19

for the biggest obstacle to world

15:21

peace and social harmony, it would

15:23

be naive realism, because it is

15:25

so easily wretched up from the

15:27

individual to the group level, my

15:29

group is right because we see

15:32

things as they are. Those who

15:34

disagree are obviously biased by their

15:36

religion, their ideology or their self-interest.

15:38

Nyeivism gives us a world full

15:40

of good and evil, and this

15:42

brings us to the most disturbing

15:44

implication of the sages advice about

15:46

hypocrisy, good and evil, do not

15:48

exist outside our beliefs about them.

15:50

People want to believe they are

15:53

on a mission from God or

15:55

that they are fighting for some

15:57

more secular good animals, fetuses, women's

15:59

rights. and you can't have much

16:01

of a mission without good allies

16:03

and a good enemy. If God is

16:05

all good and all powerful either he

16:08

allows evil to flourish which means

16:10

he is not all good

16:12

or else he struggles against

16:14

evil which means he is

16:16

not all powerful. A 3,000

16:18

year old question had been

16:20

given a complete and compelling

16:22

psychological explanation the previous year

16:25

by Roy. Baumister, one of

16:27

today's most creative social psychologists

16:29

in evil inside human cruelty

16:31

and aggression, the myth of pure

16:33

evil is the ultimate self-serving

16:35

bias. When someone's higher esteem

16:37

is unrealistic and nastistic, it

16:39

is easily threatened by reality.

16:41

In reaction to those threats,

16:43

people often lash out violently.

16:45

Baumister's questions to the usefulness

16:47

of the programs that try

16:49

to raise children's self-esteem directly

16:51

instead of by teaching them skills

16:54

that they can be proud of.

16:56

Such direct enhancement can potentially foster

16:58

unstable narcissism. To really get a

17:00

mass atrocity, going you need, idolism.

17:02

The belief that your violence is a

17:04

means to a moral end. The major

17:07

atrocities of the 20th century were carried

17:09

out largely by men who thought they

17:11

were creating a utopia or else by

17:13

men who believed that they were defending

17:16

their homeland or tribe from attack. Idolism

17:18

easily becomes dangerous because it brings with

17:20

it, almost inevitably the belief that the

17:22

end justifies the means. If you are

17:25

fighting for good or for God, what

17:27

matters is the outcome, not the path.

17:29

The world we live in is

17:31

not really one made of

17:33

rocks, trees or physical objects.

17:36

It is a world of

17:38

insults, opportunities, status symbols, portrayals,

17:40

saints and sinners. And this

17:42

moralism, righteousness and hypocrisy, it's beyond silly.

17:44

It is tragic for it suggests that

17:46

human beings will never achieve a state

17:49

of lasting peace and harmony. So what

17:51

can you do about it? The first

17:53

step is to see it as a

17:55

game and stop taking it so seriously.

17:57

Write down your thoughts, learn to recognize the

17:59

story. in your thoughts and then

18:01

think of a more appropriate thought.

18:03

You will see the fault in

18:05

yourself only if you set out

18:08

on a deliberate and effortful quest

18:10

to look for it. Try this

18:12

now. Think of a recent interpersonal

18:14

conflict with someone you care about

18:16

and then find a way in

18:18

which your behaviour was not exemplary.

18:21

Finding fault with yourself, it is

18:23

also the key to overcoming the

18:25

hypocrisy and judgmentalism that damages so

18:27

many valuable relationships. Do not seek

18:29

to have events. happen as you

18:31

want them to, but instead want

18:33

them to happen as they do

18:36

happen and your life will go

18:38

well. When it comes to goal

18:40

pursuit, it really is the journey

18:42

that counts, not the destination. Set

18:44

for yourself any goal you want.

18:46

Most of the pleasure will be

18:49

had along the way. With every

18:51

step that takes you closer, the

18:53

final moment of success is often

18:55

no more thrilling than the relief

18:57

of taking off a heavy backpack

18:59

at the end of a long

19:01

hike. If you went on a

19:04

hike only to feel that pleasure,

19:06

You are a fool. People's judgments

19:08

about their present state are based

19:10

on whether it is better or

19:12

worse than the state to which

19:14

they have become a custom. Adaptation

19:17

is in part just a property

19:19

of neurons. Nerve cells respond vigorously

19:21

to new stimuli, but gradually they

19:23

habituate. Firing less to stimuli, that

19:25

they have become used to. Todd

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things that you choose to do

19:59

such as meditation. exercise, learning a

20:01

new skill or taking a vacation,

20:03

because such activities must be chosen

20:05

and because most of them take

20:07

effort and attention, they can't just

20:09

disappear from your awareness the way

20:11

conditions can. Voluntary activities therefore offers

20:13

much greater promise for increasing happiness

20:15

while avoiding adaptation effects. Noise especially

20:17

noise that is variable or intermittent

20:19

interviews with concentration and increases stress.

20:21

It's worth striving to remove sources

20:23

of noise in your life. Conflicts

20:26

in relationships. Having an annoying office

20:28

mate or roommate or having chronic

20:30

conflict with your spouse is one

20:32

of the surest ways to reduce

20:34

your happiness. You never adapt to

20:36

interpersonal conflict. It damages every day.

20:38

Even days when you don't see

20:40

the other person but ruminate about

20:42

the conflict nonetheless. People who report

20:44

the greatest interest in attaining money,

20:46

fame or beauty, are consistently found

20:48

to be less happy and even

20:50

less healthy than those who pursue

20:52

less materialistic goals. There is a

20:54

state many people value even more

20:56

than chocolate after sex. It is

20:58

a state of total immersion in

21:00

a task that is challenging yet

21:03

closely matched to one's ability. It

21:05

is what people sometimes call being

21:07

in the zone. The keys to

21:09

flow. There's a clear challenge that

21:11

fully engages your attention. You have

21:13

the skills to meet the challenge.

21:15

You get immediate feedback about how

21:17

you are doing at each step.

21:19

Pleasures are the lights that have

21:21

clear sensory and strong emotional clean

21:23

parts, such as being derived from

21:25

food, sex, backrubs and cool breezes.

21:27

Gratifications are activities that engage you

21:29

fully draw on your strengths and

21:31

allow you to lose self-consciousness. Arrange

21:33

your day and your environment to

21:35

increase both pleasures and gratifications. Pleasures

21:38

must be spaced to maintain their

21:40

potency. Because the elephant has a

21:42

tendency to overindulge, the rider needs

21:44

to encourage it to get up

21:46

and move to another activity. The

21:48

key to finding your own gratifications

21:50

is to know your own strengths.

21:52

Buddhist detachment. What would have happened

21:54

in the young Sudatha had actually

21:56

descended from his gilded chariot and

21:58

talked to the people he assumed

22:00

was so miserable? What he had

22:02

interviewed the poor, the elderly, the

22:04

crippled, and the sick, Buddhist emphasis

22:06

on detachment, may have been the

22:08

turbulent times he lived in, then

22:10

it was foolish to seek happiness

22:13

by controlling one external world. But

22:15

now it is not. People living

22:17

in wealthy democracies can set long-term

22:19

goals and expect to meet them.

22:21

We are immunised against disease, sheltered

22:23

from storms, etc. Although all of

22:25

us will get unwanted surprises along

22:27

the way, we'll adapt and cope

22:29

with nearly all of them, and

22:31

many of us will believe we

22:33

are better off having suffered. So

22:35

to cut off all attachments, to

22:37

shun the pleasures of sensuality and

22:39

triumph in an effort to escape

22:41

the pains of loss and defeat,

22:43

this now strikes me as an

22:45

inappropriate response to the inevitable presence

22:47

of some suffering in every life.

22:50

Calm. Non-striving advocated by Buddha is

22:52

designed to avoid passion and a

22:54

life without passion is not a

22:56

human life. Yes, attachments bring pain

22:58

but they also bring our greatest

23:00

joys. Giving monkeys reasons as a

23:02

reward for each correct step in

23:04

solving a puzzle such opening a

23:06

mechanical latch with several moving parts

23:08

actually interferes with dissolving because it

23:10

distracts the monkeys they enjoy the

23:12

task for its own sake. If

23:14

you want your children to grow

23:16

up to be healthy and independent,

23:18

you should hold them, hug them,

23:20

cuddle them and love them. Give

23:22

them a secure base and they

23:25

will explore and then conquer the

23:27

world on their own. If the

23:29

model says that Mum is always

23:31

there for you, you'll be bolder

23:33

in your play and explorations. If

23:35

the metaphor for passionate love is

23:37

vines growing, intertwining and gradually binding

23:39

two people together. People are not

23:41

allowed to sign contracts when they

23:43

are drunk and I sometimes wish

23:45

we could prevent people from proposing

23:47

marriages when they are high on

23:49

passionate love. If you are... in

23:51

passionate love and want to celebrate

23:53

your passion, read poetry. If you're

23:55

a dual has come and you

23:57

want to understand your evolving relationship,

23:59

read psychology. If you just enter

24:02

the relationship with what to believe

24:04

you are better off without love,

24:06

read philosophy. People in all cultures

24:08

have a pervasive fear of death.

24:10

Human beings all know that they

24:12

are going to die. And so

24:14

human cultures go to great lengths

24:16

to construct systems of meaning that

24:18

dignify life and convince people that

24:20

their lives have more meaning than

24:22

those of the animals that die

24:24

all around them. The extensive regulation

24:26

of sex in many cultures, the

24:28

attempt to link love to God,

24:30

and then to cut away the

24:32

sex is part of the elaborate

24:34

defence against the gaunting fear of

24:37

mortality. Adversity may be necessary for

24:39

growth because it forces you to

24:41

stop speeding along the road of

24:43

life, allowing you to notice the

24:45

paths that were branching off all

24:47

along, and to think about where

24:49

you really want to end up.

24:51

At an intuitive level, we all

24:53

believe in Kama, the Hindu notion

24:55

that people reap what they sow.

24:57

The psychologist Mallana had demonstrated that

24:59

we are so motivated to believe

25:01

that people get what they deserve

25:03

and deserve what they get, that

25:05

we often blame the victim of

25:07

a tragedy. Letting off steam. makes

25:09

people angrier, not calmer. When people

25:12

older than 30 are asked to

25:14

remember the most important or vivid

25:16

events of their lives, they are

25:18

disproportionately likely to recall events that

25:20

occurred between the ages of 15

25:22

and 25. This is the age

25:24

when a person's life blooms, first

25:26

love, college and intellectual growth, living

25:28

and perhaps travelling independently, and it

25:30

is the time when young people,

25:32

at least in Western countries, make

25:34

many of the choices that would

25:36

define their lives. If there is

25:38

a special period for our identity

25:40

formation, a time when life offense

25:42

are going to have the biggest

25:44

influence on the rest of the

25:46

life story. This is it. Marcel

25:49

Prost said, would not receive wisdom,

25:51

we must discover it for ourselves.

25:53

After a journey through the wilderness,

25:55

which no one else can make

25:57

for us, which No one can

25:59

spare for us, for our wisdom

26:01

is to point a view from

26:03

which we come, at last, to

26:05

regard the world. First, wise people

26:07

are able to balance their own needs,

26:09

the needs of others, and the needs

26:11

of people or things beyond, the immediate

26:14

interaction, e.g. institutions, the environment,

26:16

or people who may be

26:18

adversely affected later on. Ignorant

26:20

people see everything in black and white.

26:23

They rely heavily on myth of pure

26:25

evil and are strongly influenced by their

26:27

own self-interest. The wise are able to

26:30

see things from others' points of view,

26:32

appreciate shades of grey, and then choose

26:34

or advise a course of action that

26:37

works out best for everyone in the

26:39

long run. Second, wise people are

26:41

able to balance three responses to

26:44

situations. Adaptation, changing the self to

26:46

fit the environment. Shaping the environment.

26:48

and selection, choosing to move to

26:51

a new environment. This second balance

26:53

corresponds roughly to the famous Serenity

26:56

Prayer. God give me the strength

26:58

to accept things I cannot change,

27:00

courage to change the things I

27:03

can, and the wisdom to know the

27:05

difference. Frugality, make no expense

27:07

but to do good. To others, or

27:10

yourself, Brenchman Franklin, moral education must

27:12

also impact Tacked knowledge, skills of

27:14

social perception and social emotions, so

27:16

finally tuned that one automatically feels

27:19

the right thing in each situation,

27:21

knows the right thing to do

27:23

and then wants to do it.

27:25

Morality for the ancients was a

27:27

kind of practical wisdom. Many moral

27:30

education efforts since the 1970s takes the

27:32

writer off the elephant and trains him

27:34

to solve problems on his own. After

27:36

being exposed to hours of case studies,

27:39

classroom discussions about moral dilemmas and videos

27:41

about people who face dilemmas and make

27:43

the right choices. The children learns how,

27:46

not what to think, then class ends,

27:48

the rider gets back on the elephant

27:50

and nothing changes at recess. Trying to

27:52

make children behave ethically by teaching them

27:55

to reason well is like trying to

27:57

make a dog happy by wagging its

27:59

tail. it gets causality backwards. A wonderful

28:01

book, Practical Ethics, by the Princeton

28:04

philosopher Peter Singer. I've been morally

28:06

opposed to all forms of factory

28:08

farming, morally opposed, but not behaviourally

28:10

opposed. I love the taste of

28:12

meat and the only thing that

28:15

changed in the first six months

28:17

after reading Singer is that I

28:19

thought about my hypocrisy each time

28:21

I ordered a hamburger. But then,

28:23

during my second year of graduate

28:25

school, I began to study the

28:28

emotion of disgust. I watched in

28:30

horror as cows moving down a

28:32

dripping, dissembling line, were bludgeoned, hooked

28:34

and sliced up. The sight of

28:36

red meat made me queasy. My

28:38

visceral feelings now matched my beliefs.

28:41

Singer had given me. The elephant

28:43

now agreed with the writer, and

28:45

I became a vegetarian. I saw

28:47

the right way. and approved it

28:49

but following the wrong until an

28:51

emotion came along to provide some

28:54

force. The modern requirement that ethics

28:56

ignored particularly is what gave us

28:58

the weaker morality, applicable everywhere but

29:00

encompassing nowhere. Work on your strengths

29:02

not your weaknesses. How many of

29:04

your New Year's resolutions have been

29:07

about fixing a flaw and how

29:09

many of those resolutions you made

29:11

several years in a row. Cognitive

29:13

behaviour therapy really does work. Religion

29:15

and science each begin with an

29:18

easy and unsatisfying answer, but then

29:20

move to the more subtle and

29:22

interesting explanations. Psychologist Alice Isen went

29:24

to the Philadelphia leaving dimes in

29:26

pay phones. The people who used

29:28

those phones and found the dimes

29:31

were more likely to help a

29:33

person who dropped a stack of

29:35

papers. Happy people are kinder and

29:37

more helpful than those in the

29:39

control group. A normlessness. A normy

29:41

is a condition of society in

29:44

which there are no clear rules,

29:46

norms or standards of values. In

29:48

an anormy society, people can do

29:50

as a please, but without any

29:52

clear standards or respected social institutions

29:54

to enforce those standards. It's hard

29:57

for people to find things they

29:59

want to do. Ask in children

30:01

to go... grow virtues? Looking only

30:03

within themselves for guidance is like

30:05

asking each one to invent a

30:07

personal language, a pointless and isolating

30:10

task, if there is no community

30:12

with whom to speak. Would you

30:14

prefer that there be a wide

30:16

variety of opinions and no dominant

30:18

ones? Or would you prefer that

30:21

everyone agree with you and the

30:23

wars of the land reflect that

30:25

agreement? If you prefer diversity on

30:27

an issue, the issue is not

30:29

a moral issue for you, it

30:31

is a matter of personal taste.

30:34

The metaphor has helped me to

30:36

understand morality from religion and the

30:38

human quest for meaning in Flatland,

30:40

a charming little hook written in

30:42

1884 by the English novelist and

30:44

mathematician Edwin Abbott, the ethic of

30:47

autonomy. the ethic of community and

30:49

the ethic of divinity. When people

30:51

think and act using the ethic

30:53

of autonomy, their goal is to

30:55

protect individuals from harm and grant

30:57

them the maximum degree of autonomy

31:00

which they can use to pursue

31:02

their own goals. When people use

31:04

the ethic of community, their goals

31:06

to protect the integrity of groups,

31:08

families, companies or nations, and they

31:10

value virtues such as obedience, loyalty

31:13

and wise leadership. When people use

31:15

the ethic of divinity, their goals

31:17

to protect from degradation the divinity

31:19

that exists in each person and

31:21

they value living in a pure

31:23

and holy way free from moral

31:26

pollutants such as lust greed and

31:28

hatred. Cultures vary in their relevant

31:30

reliance on these three ethics. Man

31:32

is possessed of two natures a

31:34

lower in common with the animals

31:37

and a higher peculiar to himself.

31:39

The whole meaning of sin is

31:41

the humiliating bondage of the higher

31:43

to the lower. The modern West

31:45

is the first culture in human

31:47

history that has managed to strip

31:50

time and space of all sacredness

31:52

and to produce a fully practical,

31:54

efficient, and profane world. This is

31:56

the world that religious fundamentalists find

31:58

unbearable. The great historian of religion,

32:00

Mercy Elder, wrote The Sacred of

32:03

the Profane. Even a person committed

32:05

to a profane existence, has privileged

32:07

places. different from all others, a

32:09

man's birthright, or the scenes of

32:11

his first love, or certain places

32:13

in the first foreign city he

32:16

visited in his youth. Even for

32:18

the most frankly non-religious man, all

32:20

these places still retain an exceptional,

32:22

a unique quality. They are the

32:24

holy places of his private universe,

32:26

as if it were in such

32:29

spots that he had received the

32:31

revelation of a reality other than

32:33

that in which he participates through

32:35

his ordinary daily life. Even atheist...

32:37

have imitations of sacredness, particularly when

32:40

in love or in nature, which

32:42

is don't infer that God cause

32:44

those feelings. Or is the emotion

32:46

of self transcendence. The self is

32:48

the main obstacle to spiritual advancement

32:50

in three ways. One, the constraint

32:53

stream of trivial concerns and egocentric

32:55

thoughts keeps people locked in the

32:57

material and profane world, unable to

32:59

perceive sacredness and divinity. This is

33:01

why Eastern religions rely heavily on

33:03

meditation and effective means of quieting

33:06

the chatter of the self. Two,

33:08

spiritual transformation is essentially the transformation

33:10

of the self, weakening it, pruning

33:12

it back, in some sense killing

33:14

it. And often, the self objects

33:16

give up my possessions about the

33:19

prestige they bring. No way. Love

33:21

my enemies. After what they did

33:23

to me, forget about it. Following

33:25

a spiritual path is inevitably hard

33:27

work, requiring years of meditation, prayer,

33:29

self-control, and sometimes self-denial. The self

33:32

does not like to be denied,

33:34

and it is apt at finding

33:36

reasons to bend the rules or

33:38

cheat. Many religions teach that egotistic

33:40

attachments to pleasure and reputation are

33:43

in constant temptations to leave the

33:45

path of virtue. In a sense,

33:47

the self is Satan, or at

33:49

least, Satan's portal. Only by seeing

33:51

the self in this way can

33:53

one understand or even respect the

33:56

moral motivations of those who want

33:58

to make society conform more closely

34:00

to the particular religion they follow.

34:02

Love and work for people are

34:04

obvious analogies to water and sunshine

34:06

for plants. When Freud was asked

34:09

what a normal person should be

34:11

able to do well he is

34:13

repted to have said love and work.

34:15

We get more pleasure from making

34:17

progress towards our goals than

34:19

we do from achieving them. Most

34:21

people approach their work in one of

34:23

three ways as a job, a career

34:26

or a call in. If you see your

34:28

work as a job, You do it

34:30

only for the money. You look at

34:32

the clock frequently by dreaming about the

34:34

weekend ahead, and you probably pursue hobbies

34:36

which satisfy your needs more thoroughly than

34:38

does your work. If you see your

34:40

work as a career, you have larger

34:42

goals of advancement, promotion, and prestige. If

34:44

you see your work as a calling,

34:46

however, you find your work intrinsically fulfilling,

34:48

you are not doing it to achieve

34:50

something else. You see your work as

34:52

contributing to the greater good or as

34:54

playing a role in some larger enterprise,

34:56

the worth of which seems obvious to

34:58

you. You have frequent experiences of flow

35:00

during the workday and you neither look

35:03

forward to quitting time nor feel the

35:05

desire to shout thank God it's Friday.

35:07

You would continue to work perhaps even

35:09

without pay if you suddenly became very

35:11

wealthy. You might think that blue

35:14

collar workers have jobs, managers have

35:16

careers and more respected professionals, doctors,

35:18

scientists and the clergy have coins.

35:21

But all three orientations represented in

35:23

almost every occupation examined. Those

35:25

janitors who worked this way saw their work

35:27

as a coin and enjoyed it far more than

35:30

those who saw it as a job. Work at

35:32

its best, then, is about connection,

35:34

engagement and commitment. Work is love

35:37

made visible. Love and work are

35:39

crucial for human happiness because when

35:41

done well they draw us

35:43

out of ourselves and interconnection

35:45

with people and projects beyond ourselves.

35:47

Happiness comes from getting these

35:49

connections right. When doing good,

35:51

doing high quality work that produces

35:54

something to us, to others,

35:56

matches up with doing well,

35:58

achieving wealth and professional advancement. A

36:00

field is healthy. Genetics, for example,

36:02

is a healthy field because all

36:04

parties involved respect and reward the

36:06

very best science. Journalism into just

36:08

another profit center where the only

36:10

thing that mattered was, will it

36:12

sell? And will it outsell our

36:15

competitors? Good journalism was sometimes bad

36:17

for business. Journalists who worked for

36:19

those empires confessed to having a

36:21

sense of being forced to sell

36:23

out and violate their own moral

36:25

standards. Their world was unaligned and

36:27

they could not become vitally engaged

36:29

in the larger but ignoble mission

36:31

of gaining market share at any

36:33

cost. A coherent profession such as

36:35

genetics can get on with the

36:37

business of genetics, while an incoherent

36:39

profession like journalism spends a lot

36:41

of time on self -analysis and

36:44

self -criticism. If you lower level trait

36:46

match up with your coping mechanisms,

36:48

which in turn are consistent with

36:50

your life story, your personality is

36:52

well integrated and you can get

36:54

on with the business of living.

36:56

When these levels do not cohe,

36:58

you are likely to be torn

37:00

by internal contradictions and neurotic conflicts.

37:02

You might need adversity to knock

37:04

yourself into alignment. And if you

37:06

do achieve coherence, the moment when

37:08

things come together may be the

37:10

one of the most profound of

37:12

your life. If evolution is all

37:15

about survival of the fittest, then

37:17

why do people help each other

37:19

so much? Why do they give

37:21

to charity, risk their lives to

37:23

save strangers and volunteer to fight

37:25

in wars? Darwin thought the answer

37:27

was easy. Ultrism evolves for the

37:29

good of the group. There can

37:31

be no doubt that a tribe

37:33

including many members who from possessing

37:35

a high degree of spirit of

37:37

patriotism, fidelity, obedience, courage and sympathy

37:39

were always ready to aid one

37:41

another and to sacrifice themselves for

37:44

the common good would be victorious

37:46

over most other tribes and this

37:48

would be natural selection. The word

37:50

religion literally means in Latin to

37:52

link or bind together. It

37:55

is worth striving to get

37:57

the right relationship between yourself and

37:59

others, between yourself and your

38:01

work. and between yourself and something larger than yourself, if you

38:03

get these relationships right, a sense

38:05

of purpose and meaning will in

38:07

merge. Liberals are experts in thinking

38:10

about issues of victimisation, inequality, autonomy

38:12

and the rights of individuals, particularly

38:14

those of minorities and non-conformist. Conservatives

38:16

are experts in thinking about loyalty

38:19

to the group, respect for authority

38:21

and tradition and sacredness. When one

38:23

side overwhel the other, the results

38:26

are likely to be ugly. A

38:28

society without liberals would be harsh

38:30

and oppressive to many individuals. A

38:32

society without conservatives would lose

38:35

many of the social structures

38:37

and constraints. A good place to

38:39

look for wisdom is where you least

38:41

expect to find it, in the minds

38:43

of your opponents. You already know the

38:45

ideas common on your own side. If

38:47

you can take off the blinders of

38:49

the myth of pure evil, you might

38:51

see some good ideas for the first

38:54

time. And that's a wrap on this

38:56

book's summary, The Happiness Hypothesis. If you

38:58

like the book's summary, click the link

39:00

to download this, where you have best

39:02

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together on Amazing Day. Take it,

39:22

bye bye now.