Episode Transcript
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0:00
Hi , welcome to the podcast
0:02
between hard and brave . I'm Sarah
0:04
, and I'm here to be with you in
0:07
your personal growth and self-improvement
0:09
journey , and I'm here to share
0:12
my own life experiences
0:14
with you . I'm a yoga teacher
0:16
, a business intelligence manager
0:18
with a master's degree in IT
0:21
, and Nobel Queen International 2023
0:23
with health and wellness advocacy
0:26
. I'm so excited to start
0:28
this journey with you , to uplift
0:31
you with positivity , the power
0:33
of mindfulness and yoga and
0:35
the freedom of conscious living . So
0:38
let's start together and
0:40
take a moment for yourself . Take
0:49
a moment for yourself . Hello , hello , sarah's here . Welcome back to my podcast If this is not
0:51
your first time listening , or welcome to the podcast if it's your first time
0:53
listening to my episodes . I'm so
0:55
happy to have you here and I sincerely
0:57
hope that you find this episode useful
0:59
after listening to
1:01
it . I try to share with
1:03
you the things that really helped me with my
1:06
personal development , with my
1:09
personal life , my
1:11
professional life , and
1:14
I'm more than glad to share it with people
1:16
, those who are interested and would learn
1:18
something from it . Even one person
1:20
who can use this information
1:23
to their benefit can give
1:25
me a feeling of fulfillment
1:27
. So please do let me know if you
1:30
are able to use
1:32
these tips to your benefit
1:34
and what's your experience ? All
1:38
right . So today
1:40
I want to talk about the idea of perfectionism
1:43
, and I believe I'm a good person to
1:45
talk about this because I have been
1:48
, and still am , sort
1:51
of a perfectionist . But
2:08
my point today , or my topic here , is to not allow perfectionism to stop us from living
2:10
life , and that can happen a lot of time
2:12
. So let's talk about what is perfectionism
2:15
. Perfectionism is that
2:17
when is the
2:19
time when an individual only
2:22
aims for what they see as
2:24
perfect and
2:29
if it's not perfect , they don't want it ? So
2:32
it's like a black and white
2:34
kind of mindset . When
2:40
you hear this , you probably think that these people do have everything
2:42
really awesome and they put in a lot of work for
2:44
everything to work great or look great or
2:46
sound great . And that's true they do . But
2:49
what are the
2:51
cons of being a perfectionist
2:54
? When
2:57
you want everything perfect
2:59
, it's given that you will
3:01
be disappointed , because
3:03
that's not how the world works . Am
3:06
I correct ? I believe
3:08
I am Not . Everything is perfect
3:10
. I'm not perfect , you're
3:13
not perfect . Our parents are not perfect
3:15
. Our children are not perfect . Our neighbors
3:17
, our teachers , our colleagues , our bosses
3:19
, our employees you know everyone
3:22
does have something about
3:24
them that can be considered as a flaw
3:26
or is a flaw . So expecting
3:28
things to be perfect is not very much realistic
3:31
, and we might lose
3:33
a lot of opportunities and
3:35
people if we always aim
3:37
for the best
3:40
of everything and
3:43
imagine yourself
3:45
starting a project
3:48
, something that you really
3:50
like to do . For example , for me
3:52
it would be this podcast . Let's use this podcast
3:54
as an example . I knew that
3:56
I had to prepare for it , so I did my research
3:59
. I knew what I wanted to talk about
4:01
. I took my time thinking
4:03
about it and actually I took a very long
4:05
time thinking about it . That
4:08
could be my perfectionism . When I say
4:10
long time , I'm telling you like two years
4:12
. Yeah , that's a long time . So
4:15
then I started
4:18
researching what are the tools that I
4:20
need to have and how I need
4:22
to prepare myself , testing
4:25
Sometimes . I recorded
4:27
some episodes , I deleted a lot of
4:29
them and at
4:32
some point , suddenly I realized that
4:34
it's been months
4:36
that I've recorded
4:38
my first episode and
4:40
I'm not satisfied
4:43
or ready to publish
4:45
any . At that
4:47
exact moment , I realize it's my
4:49
perfectionism that's holding me back
4:51
. Yes , true , it's true
4:53
that , being a perfectionist
4:56
, you would like to make things
4:58
work great . However , what's
5:01
great to me cannot be great to other
5:03
people or between two people
5:05
. They can have you know something
5:07
, they can look at something and
5:09
describe it as nearly
5:12
perfect , and the other person would absolutely
5:14
dislike it . So it's hard
5:16
to really aim for something that's
5:18
perfect , especially if it's
5:20
in the eyes of other people and
5:23
if it's only about you , how you see
5:25
it . Perfect . Look at yourself
5:27
. You're only a human . You're not
5:30
a robot . You're not built perfectly
5:33
. You do have flaws . It's human to have
5:35
flaws . It's human to get tired . It's human
5:37
to feel burnt out . It's human
5:39
to learn through experience
5:41
. So you have to start and
5:43
you have to take that first step
5:46
so that eventually , through experience
5:48
, you get closer and closer to perfect
5:50
if not perfect at
5:52
some point , or you might get perfect at some point , but
5:54
basically your first step is not going
5:56
to be perfect . So if you only
5:59
aim for what is perfect
6:01
, you might just be holding yourself back
6:03
from creating , from
6:06
new opportunities , from
6:08
feeling achieved or fulfilled
6:10
. So it's a good thing
6:13
to reflect on and find
6:15
for yourself what are
6:18
the things that you've
6:20
been wanting to do , or
6:22
give it a chance , and you haven't because
6:24
you are being very picky
6:26
about it . That
6:31
can apply to our friendships
6:33
, our relationships as well with
6:36
boyfriend , girlfriend
6:39
, with husband or wife
6:42
that's my Persian accent
6:45
, but anyway , wife
6:47
. So you cannot accept
6:49
your partner to be perfect , because
6:53
they're also human like you . So
6:55
when you set a standard
6:58
and they are not able
7:00
to achieve it , you feel disappointed
7:02
. They do feel disappointed and
7:04
it brings a lot of negative
7:07
feelings in your relationship
7:09
. So what we can focus
7:11
on , instead of being a perfectionist
7:13
, is progress . Progress
7:16
is , or
7:18
could be , slow , but it's still
7:20
a progress . For example , you
7:23
wake up today you do something different compared
7:26
to yesterday that's already progress . You
7:30
get a project done
7:32
that you've
7:36
been working on for some time
7:38
or has been in the backlog for some time that's
7:41
a progress . Or you
7:43
are practicing a better way of
7:45
communicating with
7:48
your family also
7:50
progress . Or you started boxing
7:53
for the first time that's
7:57
you tried a new pose
7:59
in yoga . You're not able to do it , but
8:01
at least now you know what are the steps to
8:03
get into that pose , even if you're
8:05
not doing it completely and perfectly
8:08
. That's progress . So let's have
8:10
this mindset , because this is actually
8:12
the mindset that keeps
8:14
us motivated to
8:17
reach success . It's
8:20
the want
8:23
for perfectionism , but being
8:25
logical enough to
8:28
know that it's not achievable
8:30
overnight or ever . However
8:33
, you can take baby
8:35
steps and focus on the progress
8:38
, and that's how you
8:40
can achieve it someday , maybe even
8:42
sooner than later
8:45
. One more thing
8:47
about perfectionism
8:49
, which is unfortunately
8:52
something that a lot of people
8:54
can relate to , is burnout
8:56
. So I
8:58
myself , I
9:01
put a high standard on
9:04
myself and I believe
9:07
that's why I can say
9:09
that I have quite good achievements
9:11
in life . However
9:14
, what I've learned recently , especially
9:17
during the past year , is
9:20
that my standards should
9:22
not always be so high
9:25
. Or they
9:27
can be if they're not bothering
9:29
me , or they can be if
9:31
they're not bothering me . However
9:34
, if it's affecting the quality of my life or my well-being physically
9:37
, emotionally or mentally then it's
9:40
not worth it . I'm
9:43
not saying that you should always baby yourself
9:45
. There are times that you really
9:47
have to suck it up and get
9:49
up and get the work done , even if
9:52
that's not what you want , and
9:54
try to do better or step up , and
9:57
that's what you have to do . But
9:59
for me , there was a time that
10:01
for a few months , I was feeling
10:03
absolutely burnt
10:05
out . I could not enjoy
10:08
my personal life because of the amount
10:10
of time I've put into my
10:12
work willingly
10:15
. I wanted everything
10:17
to run smoothly and
10:20
I wanted every
10:23
requester , stakeholder
10:26
to be happy , which is not
10:28
possible , humanly
10:30
, not possible , and
10:33
that pressure , that standard , really
10:36
did make me feel burnout
10:38
On the side . I was
10:40
aiming for other things
10:42
as well . I was aiming
10:47
for deepening my skills in my
10:49
yoga career . I
10:54
was aiming for building a community . I was aiming for getting my paintings
10:57
done and much
10:59
more and much more , and much more . So
11:03
that was a lot of pressure . So
11:05
I just took some time , by
11:08
December 2023 . So
11:11
I just took some time by December 2023 . I took
11:13
the last 10
11:15
days of the year to
11:17
just sit down
11:19
and think . I
11:22
didn't do much . I didn't
11:24
rush myself , I
11:29
just sat there and started thinking and I concluded
11:31
that , for now at least
11:33
, I should only focus on one thing
11:35
a day . I
11:37
wanted to finish or
11:39
accomplish multiple tasks in a day
11:41
and I was able to . For some
11:43
time and a lot of days I
11:45
wasn't able to , which made me feel like
11:48
, oh , I wasn't able to succeed
11:50
today , and that's not a good feeling . So
11:53
I told myself that I'm
11:55
gonna do only one thing a day Two
11:58
. If I'm not able to do it , I'm
12:00
not gonna beat myself up , it's okay
12:02
. If I'm tired , then I will rest
12:05
. Doesn't matter if I've already
12:07
slept nine hours and I need
12:09
one more . I'm going to
12:11
rest until I feel rested , and I did
12:13
so , and it did feel really
12:16
, really good . So sometimes
12:19
it's important to look at
12:21
what our perfectionism is doing
12:23
to us . It might make
12:25
us successful . It might
12:27
make us feel accomplished
12:30
. You
12:33
can achieve goals in a shorter timeline . However , are
12:35
you losing something
12:37
on the way and
12:40
if yes , how
12:42
impactful
12:44
that thing is on
12:46
the quality of your life ? Are
12:49
you sacrificing a lot ? Do you
12:51
have the option not to sacrifice
12:54
that much ? If yes , if you do have
12:56
that option , then take it slow
12:58
. Enjoy life Sometimes
13:01
, enjoy being still , enjoy
13:04
pausing and
13:06
simply existing . That's
13:10
also one thing I use sometimes
13:13
in my yoga classes . Enjoy
13:15
the simple feeling
13:17
of being alive and
13:20
the gift of existence . All
13:24
right , I guess I'm going to wrap it up here
13:26
. I hope that
13:28
you found this useful and it
13:30
gives you ideas to think
13:33
about it . Are you a perfectionist
13:35
? Do you have to tone it down or
13:37
do you actually need to
13:40
raise your standards a little bit higher
13:42
? It's up to you . Let me know what
13:44
you think . Thank you , dear
13:46
listeners , for joining me on
13:48
this empowering journey today as
13:51
we conclude this episode , remember
13:53
that your potential is boundless
13:55
and your journey to a more fulfilling
13:58
life has only just begun
14:00
. I'm here to support you every step
14:02
of the way , so keep coming back
14:05
for more insights and inspiration
14:07
. And remember this
14:09
podcast is proudly independent
14:11
, created with a passion for making
14:14
a positive impact . Your support
14:16
means the world to me , so
14:18
please consider subscribing and
14:20
sharing it with the people you know . Together
14:23
, we can inspire more individuals
14:25
on their journey to empowerment
14:28
and a better life . See you
14:30
soon for more life-changing discussions
14:32
. Until we meet again , stay
14:34
empowered .
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