0:00

I'm five years old. My name

0:02

is Saturday. Saturday morning.

0:05

I'm a kid. It happened at

0:07

325 last Monday. I was

0:09

on my way home from kindergarten

0:12

when I noticed it was

0:14

missing. My lollipop. My

0:16

teacher, Miss Brown, had given

0:19

me the lollipop for good

0:21

behavior. It was a good

0:23

lollipop, strawberry. I made up

0:26

my mind to get it

0:28

back. At 3.29 I checked

0:30

back at the playground. Two

0:32

strange kids were playing in

0:35

the sand pile. I checked

0:37

their pockets. Just as I

0:39

thought. They were full of sand.

0:41

345. There was a man

0:43

selling ice cream bars at

0:45

the school gate. I decided

0:48

to question him. Hello,

0:50

Mr. What can I do for

0:52

you, son? I'm like for strawberry.

0:55

Soccer. Soccer. What? I mean,

0:57

I'm looking for a strawberry

0:59

sucker. Get lost. I marked him

1:01

down my book as a possible 518.

1:04

I went across the street to

1:06

the candy store. It was $359.

1:08

There was some tough kids playing

1:10

tapped the ice box. It looked

1:12

suspicious. They had one kid locked in

1:14

an ice box, and the others were

1:17

playing taps. I broke up the game

1:19

and booked them all on a

1:21

412. The kid who'd been in

1:24

the ice box demanded protection. I

1:26

walked him around the corner.

1:28

We watched the gang. They

1:30

started to play upscotch.

1:33

It looked phony. Then I

1:35

knew. Someone was throwing the

1:38

game. The kid I was

1:40

with said he had to

1:42

leave. Said he had to

1:44

go finish beating the erasers

1:46

for Miss Brown. I checked

1:48

under his fingernails. He

1:51

was telling the truth.

1:53

I found chalkdust.

1:55

Still no lollipop had to move

1:57

fast. My friend Donovan came by.

2:00

He's in the first grade. He

2:02

had a kitty car with a

2:04

wagon in back. I jumped in

2:06

the wagon. All right Dadovan, go

2:08

to the corner of 14th and

2:10

Caterpillar and step on it.

2:13

14th Street. The neighborhood of

2:15

our rival school, P.S. 87. It

2:17

was a rough section. The school

2:19

is so tough even, the teacher

2:21

played a game. It was so

2:23

tough they printed report gods on

2:26

sandpaper. I was in over my

2:28

head. I knew it. I knew it. At first,

2:31

the schoo-yard looked

2:33

peaceful enough. I

2:35

saw the janitor feeding

2:38

the pigeons. Then

2:40

I noticed. He was

2:42

feeding them to his

2:44

family. I told Donovan

2:47

to pick me up in

2:49

10 minutes. It was

2:51

4.19. Then I saw

2:53

him. The toughest kid in

2:56

the neighborhood. Fazzo. He was

2:58

a mad mountain. He must

3:00

have weighed 80 pounds. I

3:02

could tell he was in

3:05

second grade. He had

3:07

that look, tired, cynical, sophisticated.

3:10

There was something odd about

3:13

his face, something strange about

3:15

his mouth. Then I saw

3:17

it, sticking out of his

3:19

mouth, my sucker. All right,

3:22

Fatsle. This is it. Listen,

3:24

Bud. You're asking for

3:26

a licking. That's right. I'd

3:28

like to lick my suck again

3:30

if you don't mind. Scram,

3:32

punk. Listen, Fetso, you tough.

3:34

Yeah. I knew the minute I

3:37

looked at you. Would you mind give

3:39

me my sucker? I gotta be

3:41

home exactly 10 minutes. Why?

3:44

Gotta take my nap. When

3:46

he started laughing, he took

3:48

the sucker out of his mouth.

3:50

I saw my chance. I grabbed

3:52

the suck and stirred to him.

3:54

None of them came by just

3:56

in time. I jumped in the

3:58

wagon. It was downhill. Now, it

4:00

was easy. We got

4:03

a way. I felt good

4:05

inside. I had it

4:08

again. My lollipop.

4:10

The story you

4:12

have just heard

4:14

was true. Only

4:17

the flavor was

4:19

changed to protect

4:22

the sucker. No,

4:32

no, no, no, no,

4:34

no, no, no, no,

4:36

no, no, no, no,

4:39

no, no, no, no,

4:41

no, no, no, no,

4:43

no, no, no, no,

4:45

no, no, no, no,

4:48

no, no, no, no,

4:50

no, no, no, no,

4:52

no, no, no, no,

4:54

no, no, no, I'm

4:57

not, I'm not, Oh

6:32

I might kill everyone I

6:34

see. You better not cross

6:36

me. You better just let

6:38

me be. Because that twanky

6:40

insanity has got a hold

6:42

on me. I went to

6:44

the liquor store to buy

6:46

a pint of gin. But

6:48

wouldn't you know that owner

6:50

said price went up again?

6:52

Well, something come over me

6:54

and I stole that gin

6:56

that day. But when it

6:58

comes to trial boys, this

7:00

is what I'll say. Twanky

7:02

insanity has got a hold

7:04

on me. It's driving me

7:06

so crazy I might kill

7:09

everyone I see. You better

7:11

not cross me. You better

7:13

just let me be. Is

7:15

that twanky insanity is got

7:17

to hold on me? I

7:19

had me a pretty wife

7:21

and three adorable kids, but

7:23

I didn't have no job

7:25

of work. I'd really hit

7:28

the skis. Well, dealing dope

7:30

was my only hope. Through

7:36

the way the key, I should

7:39

say, Twink the insanity has got

7:41

to hold on me. It's driving

7:43

me so crazy I might kill

7:45

everyone I see. Anyway,

8:17

the cop that busted me. He

8:19

shot Moskoni in Harvey Milk, but

8:21

soon he will be free. Oh,

8:23

I wish. Please

9:19

don't walk under the ladder

9:21

that someone is placed so

9:23

carelessly against the building wall

9:26

there. Possibly a silent painter

9:28

is working there, but that

9:30

ladder can only bring you

9:32

trouble. Did you ever hear

9:34

of the Tale of Two

9:36

Robbers? It was in the

9:39

days of medieval history, the

9:41

days of darkness and Gothic

9:43

gloom and death. Their names

9:45

were Gaspar and Throsweil. They

9:47

were young men, but old in the

9:49

ways of treachery, villainy. They

9:52

cut throats for fun as

9:54

well as money. But one April

9:56

night, Gaspar, France did and revel

9:59

in the... The infamous tavern of

10:01

the coke door. They'd been

10:03

idle for days, and so

10:05

were taking recourse in drunken

10:07

debauchery. Their fingers etched for

10:10

their curious profession. They hungered

10:12

to play their wicked train.

10:14

And so, when a fat,

10:16

wealthy merchant left the tavern,

10:18

after announcing loudly to one

10:20

and all his riches in

10:22

his little house at the

10:25

end of the town, Gaspar

10:27

and Franswa lurched and pursued.

10:29

The Paris streets were dark

10:31

and ill-lit, but the two

10:33

drunken thieves followed their prey,

10:35

with eyes long used to

10:38

the darkness. Happily, the distance

10:40

was not far. Soon, the

10:42

fat merchant turned into a

10:44

coupled courtyard and entered a

10:47

stone ivy-covered building. Gaspar of

10:49

Francois waited patiently, and when

10:51

candle-like flickered in a second-story

10:53

window, they made their plans.

10:56

It was the work of

10:58

a second to climb the

11:00

wall surrounding the house, and in

11:02

the darkness of the courtyard they

11:05

found a crude wooden ladder prompt

11:07

near the barn door. Gaspar placed

11:09

it gently against the vines until

11:12

the top rung rested directly below

11:14

the fat merchant's window. Franswa licked

11:17

his lips greedily and his dirty

11:19

fingers tightened about the dagger in

11:21

his hand. He would make short

11:24

work of the fat merchant. But

11:27

Gaspar was already mounting the ladder

11:29

as filthily as a cat, and

11:32

his knife gleamed in the darkness.

11:34

He'd very nearly reached the top

11:36

run, when the casement windows flew

11:39

open and there was the fat

11:41

merchant thrusting a lighted torch into

11:44

his face. Gaspar screamed terribly lashing

11:46

out of his knife, but this

11:48

fat merchant had been reached too

11:51

long and stayed fat. because he'd

11:53

known how to take care of

11:55

himself for his money. The long

11:58

sword in his fat fingers... buried

12:00

itself in Gaspar's chest up

12:02

to the hill. At the

12:04

bottom of the ladder, Franspa

12:07

panicked and scrambled off the

12:09

runs, coming around behind the

12:11

ladder and hiding underneath it,

12:13

hugging the wall. He stared

12:15

up above him. Is the

12:18

great... bulk of Gaspar's dead

12:20

body sagged against the rug.

12:22

The merchant shouted for the

12:24

police at the top of

12:26

his lungs. Franswa was frozen

12:28

where he stood. The drunkenness

12:31

of the evening still boiling

12:33

in his blood. His eyes

12:35

flashed about the courtyard looking

12:37

for the best avenue of

12:39

escape and then... Gaspar's body,

12:41

unevenly balanced on the ladder.

12:44

toppled through the space of

12:46

one set of rums and

12:48

landing every one's part

12:50

of Franswa. Franswa's eyes

12:52

bulged with surprise, and the

12:55

bloody moan bubbled from his

12:57

dirty throat as the point

12:59

of the sword jutting from

13:01

Gaspar's back, knifed into his

13:04

heart. When the police arrived

13:06

to see what the commotion

13:08

was, they found Gaspar of

13:10

Franswa huddled behind the ladder,

13:13

jammed against the ball. Like

13:15

two frightened children locked in

13:17

each other's arms against the

13:19

cold. And there you are.

13:21

Legend has it, of course,

13:23

that France were walked under

13:26

a ladder and died terribly,

13:28

but... Well, you've heard the

13:31

story, and so, please be

13:33

careful. You never can tell,

13:35

can you? Well, upon my

13:38

cell. Here comes the sign-paintard,

13:40

get his ladder, and... Do

13:42

you know my friend? You've

13:45

been standing under it

13:47

for the longest time.

14:44

A black man

14:47

in South Dakota.

14:49

Right in front

14:52

of me law

14:54

across the border.

14:57

I was there

14:59

only black man

15:02

in South Dakota.

15:04

I had a

15:07

perfect repeat suit.

15:09

Staky Adams. And

15:17

they just love to

15:20

come see me singing

15:22

rhythm and through. People

15:25

would come from miles

15:27

around. See, this black

15:30

boy is getting down.

15:32

I fell in love

15:35

with a girl named

15:37

Margo. I

15:48

was from Chicago.

15:50

The whole damn

15:52

state said he'll

15:55

know. by

16:10

a white kitten,

16:12

an Indian robot,

16:14

and a mean

16:16

bodyguard, by the

16:18

name of Cody.

16:20

He would run,

16:23

run, run, run,

16:25

run, run, run,

16:27

run, run, run,

16:29

run. It

16:58

is going

17:01

on

17:03

in

17:06

South

17:08

Dakota.

17:44

Destined to die from

17:46

the star. They had

17:49

no thought of others.

17:51

They lived in each

17:54

other's hearts. They died

17:56

as they lived in

17:59

violence. to a crazy

18:01

tune and folks

18:03

who were there

18:05

remember and say

18:07

that they died

18:09

too soon. Bonnie

18:11

and Clyde were

18:14

lovers, destined to

18:16

die from the

18:18

start. They have

18:20

no thought of

18:22

others. They lived

18:24

in each other's

18:26

heart. Bonnie and

18:28

Clyde were lovers,

18:30

stemming from day

18:32

to day, the

18:34

posses of three

18:36

states chased them,

18:38

and blasted their

18:40

lives away. Their

18:42

shots broke the

18:44

quiet evening, their

18:46

car burned the

18:48

country road. And

18:50

they never dreamed

18:52

they'd harvest The

18:54

fruit from the

18:56

seed they sow.

18:58

Bonnie and Clyde were

19:01

lovers, Destined to die

19:03

from the star, They

19:06

had no thought of

19:09

others, They lived in

19:11

each other's heart. Oh,

19:14

Mr. Moss, betrayed them.

19:16

He thought he was

19:19

doing right. He sold

19:21

them out to the

19:24

lawman. Then he stole

19:26

away in the night.

19:29

Bonnie and Clyde were

19:31

lovers, but ambushed

19:33

they had no

19:35

chance. There in

19:37

the woods they

19:40

perished, and in

19:42

their short romance.

19:44

Bonnie and Clive

19:46

were lovers, destined

19:48

to die from

19:50

the start. They

19:52

had no thought

19:54

of others. They

19:56

lived in each

19:58

other's heart. They

20:00

died as they

20:03

lived together, their

20:05

blood mingling in

20:07

the sand, her

20:09

hand on her

20:11

sawed-off shotgun, still

20:13

bare of a

20:15

wedding ban, fifty

20:18

bullets in body,

20:20

fifty-one, fifty-one slugs

20:22

in plight. They

20:24

hunt up them

20:26

down like Barbus.

20:28

They've gone on

20:30

their last joyride. Bonnie

20:33

and Clive were lovers.

20:35

Destined to die from

20:38

the star. They had

20:40

no thought of others.

20:43

They lived in each

20:45

other's heart. They died

20:48

if they lived together.

20:50

Their blood mingling in

20:53

the sand. Her hand

20:55

on her saw a

20:58

shotgun. Still bare all

21:00

the wet and bad.

21:02

Still bare all. to

21:35

the land. Lots of

21:38

hippie folks, you know,

21:40

they didn't have much

21:42

cash in hand, but

21:45

they all found a

21:47

way. To pay the

21:49

bills and make ends

21:52

meet. Now they spend

21:54

their days. Farming weeds

21:56

and trying to beat

21:59

the... The heat and

22:01

it's just a family

22:03

felony. I think the

22:06

neighbors would all have

22:08

to agree. Just a

22:10

little family felony. I

22:13

won't tell on you,

22:15

don't you tell on

22:18

me? Junior's helping dad.

22:20

Hiding water lines up

22:22

a ravine. Junior's helping

22:25

dad. Hiding water lines

22:27

up a ravine. Well.

22:29

Life ain't too bad

22:32

on 40 acres with

22:35

an outdoor scene, a

22:37

garden here and there,

22:40

with water dripping from

22:43

a local spring and

22:45

tender love and care,

22:48

is all it takes

22:51

to keep the ladies

22:53

green and... It's just

22:56

a family felony. I

22:59

think the neighbors

23:01

would all have

23:03

to agree. Just

23:05

a little family

23:07

felony. I won't

23:10

tell on you,

23:12

don't you tell

23:14

on me? Clip

23:18

in flowers with the

23:20

local gals. Well, maybe

23:23

against the law. But

23:25

hey, at least they're

23:27

working with their pals.

23:30

Grandma's helping too. You

23:32

know, her dear old

23:34

dad used to bootleg

23:36

booze and just between

23:38

me and you. They're

23:41

all happy with the

23:43

life they choose and...

23:45

It's just a family

23:47

felony. I think the

23:49

neighbors would all have

23:51

to agree. Just a

23:54

little family felony. I

23:56

won't tell on you,

23:58

don't you tell... And

24:00

just a family

24:02

felony, a little

24:05

family felony, just

24:07

a little family

24:09

felony. I won't

24:11

tell on you,

24:14

don't you tell

24:16

on me. Don't

24:18

you tell on

24:20

me? for

26:00

that about

26:37

as drunk as we can

26:39

be. And while the deputy

26:42

sheriff... keener

27:39

than most persons.

27:42

In the case he calls

27:44

a stolen Falstein

27:47

murder flu. The

27:49

scene is in

27:52

Mr. Trace's private

27:54

office as he calls

27:57

for his assistant.

28:00

Mike Delance. Yes, boss,

28:02

did you call? Yes, Mike.

28:04

I've been having trouble, as

28:07

you probably have been able

28:09

to see. Say its preserve

28:11

is, boss. Your smile is

28:14

different. Someone, Spike, has stolen

28:16

my prosthetic appliance. You don't

28:19

say, boss, that you without

28:21

your teeth. That's exactly what

28:24

I say, Spike. Well, who

28:26

would want your teeth, but?

28:28

I don't. No, they'd pull

28:30

a dastily trick like this.

28:32

Where did you last see

28:34

them, Bart? Well, I had

28:36

lunch at the... lunchcowler downstairs,

28:38

then I came up to

28:40

the office, and what a

28:42

half hour later, I noticed

28:44

that they were missing. Sades

28:46

for a savas boss. There's

28:49

only one cool spike. This

28:51

set of fingerprints on the

28:53

edge of my desk. Saints

28:57

for service, bars. Fingerprints on the edge

29:00

of your desk. Yes, I want you

29:02

the one through our file and see

29:04

if you can place them with any

29:07

of the criminals we've dealt with in

29:09

the past. All right, Barth, I'll be

29:11

right back just as soon as I

29:13

check through the file. See if I

29:16

can match up those bars. That's what

29:18

I want you to do. Spike.

29:20

If I can only find those,

29:22

if I could get back to

29:24

my job or crime detecting. Oh,

29:26

and he likes Mike. Turn around,

29:29

Pali, you say. Who are you?

29:31

What do you want here? You,

29:33

looking there behind the gray curtains,

29:35

covering my window. Well, you, with

29:37

a dagger in your hand. You

29:39

look so insipid the way you

29:41

talk. In-sipid, you say? Yes. You

29:43

don't look like the old Mr.

29:45

Keenly, who's treasure than most persons.

29:47

I'm as traced as any lost

29:50

person. You're a person. And I'll be

29:52

people if you're going to trace around

29:54

here lost. I certainly think you're barking

29:57

up the wrong tree. Just a moment,

29:59

people. I've traced you

30:01

long enough. From now on,

30:03

I'm keen. Keen to it all.

30:05

You've lost to that, people?

30:08

Yes, I'll pass along with

30:10

you on that. But wait

30:13

until my assistant's might answer

30:15

gets back. He ain't coming

30:18

back. You mean he's keen,

30:20

people, lost. I'm treated,

30:22

at last. Today

30:32

we heard part one of

30:35

a two-part story from the

30:37

files of Mr. Trace keener

30:39

than most persons. In case

30:41

he calls the stolen false

30:44

teeth murder crew. Just

31:24

keep walking. Where are we walking

31:26

to Harry? Tonight's the night, man.

31:28

Tonight's the night. Cause the blood

31:30

will flow like a wall. As

31:32

we'll be backing on the ground.

31:35

But we're all in a street

31:37

like tonight. Here on the east

31:39

side of town. The sharks are

31:41

gonna cut the dragons. Now the

31:43

sharks are a mean and deadly

31:46

outfit. And the dragons are

31:48

gonna what they're headed for.

31:51

But they'll find... The

32:20

heads will

32:22

be cracking

32:25

on the

32:28

ground, but

32:31

we're all

32:33

in a

32:35

street by

32:38

tonight. We're

32:40

on the east

32:43

side of town. And them dragons don't

32:45

know what they're headed for, but they'll

32:47

find out tonight as we catch it

32:50

in a fight, down around a track

32:52

of Louis store. We're gonna cut them

32:54

down and even up the store. I

36:01

only parked it for

36:03

a moment to unload,

36:05

exemplifies a fucking child.

36:08

Come on, I'm just

36:10

a poor musician. Can't

36:12

afford to pay no

36:14

parking fine. Please, I'm

36:17

just a poor musician.

36:19

You can't afford to

36:21

pay no parking fine.

36:29

I did not see that

36:31

yet a line. traffic

37:00

water. How can you

37:03

be so mean? Please

37:05

miss the traffic water.

37:07

How can you be

37:10

so mean? Why don't

37:12

you throw away that

37:14

ticket? Don't stick it

37:17

on my window screen.

37:19

No, I'm asking you

37:21

nicely. Don't stick that

37:24

ticket on my window

37:26

screen. I'll

37:31

get real politely. Please don't

37:33

leave that ticket on my

37:35

car. I'm

38:12

in a traffic water.

38:14

I don't think you're

38:16

real. You know, I

38:18

could have been a

38:21

traffic war in town.

38:23

Just don't think you're

38:25

real. But my parents

38:27

are coming only matrimony.

38:30

I wasn't qualified.

39:19

Don't you please, don't you

39:21

cry, don't you give them

39:24

no abuse? Don't you weep

39:26

and well, I'm gonna get

39:28

them traffic war, there's no

39:31

abuse. Because it might just

39:33

make them happy, and it's

39:35

sure ain't gonna do you,

39:37

no use. Keep

39:51

your hands off my car!

40:00

I'm tired of telling

40:02

you, tired of water,

40:04

you, it's gone a

40:07

bit too far. How

40:09

many times do I

40:12

have to tell you

40:14

to keep your hands

40:16

off my car? I'm

40:19

talking to the vandalizes,

40:21

talking to the joyrides,

40:24

talking about you bugs.

40:29

Keep your hands off my

40:31

car. Keep your hands off

40:34

my car. Don't you push

40:36

me too far. Keep your

40:38

hands off my car. Now

40:41

face to face, I wanna

40:43

meet. And I hope you're

40:46

hungry, cause you're gonna taste

40:48

the feet. If it's the

40:50

radio you want, just ask.

40:53

I'll buy you one. Deliver

40:55

it myself, then shove it

40:57

up your. Keep your hands

41:00

off my car. Keep

41:02

your hands off my

41:04

car. Don't you push

41:06

me to fall. Keep

41:08

your hands off my

41:10

car. Don't break in,

41:12

don't steal it, don't

41:15

siphon my gas. Don't

41:17

slash the tires or

41:19

smash in the glass,

41:22

just keep your hands

41:24

off my car. Keep your hands

41:26

off my car. Don't you first

41:28

meet too far. Keep your hands

41:30

off my car. All right, all

41:33

right, hold it right there, hold

41:35

it right there. All right, I

41:37

grabbed the wall, grab some wall.

41:39

All right, oh, I'm sorry, I

41:41

didn't see what you. Yeah, you

41:44

can't be too careful these days,

41:46

you know. Crime is running rampant

41:48

everywhere, everybody's walking around, hitting each

41:50

other over the head. Oh, it's

41:53

enough to make you puke. Puke.

41:55

Anyway, that's obviously not that bad.

41:57

Depends on who you listen to.

41:59

So tonight we're dealing with crime

42:02

because apparently nobody wants to do

42:04

it anymore and the criminals are

42:06

now running the asylum so what

42:09

the hell can't beat him join

42:11

him right start out with a

42:14

guy named Ricky Vera Ricky Vera

42:16

Dragnet goes to kindergarten and stays

42:18

there I'm not a juvenile delinquent

42:21

he says that was Old stuff

42:23

from the Amboy Dukes featuring that

42:25

guitar guy that nobody can stand

42:28

and whose name shall not be

42:30

mentioned. Art Peterson, talking about Twinky

42:32

Insanity. Remember the Harvey Milk Dan

42:35

White thing? That was the defense

42:37

that they tried to mount and

42:39

of course they were laughed perpetually

42:42

still to this day. We heard

42:44

from Boris Karloff. story of the

42:46

latter, now justice finds a way.

42:49

The only black man in South

42:51

Dakota was Andre Williams, and of

42:53

course nowadays that would be a

42:55

crime, but it wasn't then apparently.

42:58

We heard from Johnny Legend, story

43:00

of Bonnie and Clyde. Family felony

43:02

was the Camo cowboys. Back in

43:05

the pre-legalization days, things were legal,

43:07

and it was like armed camps

43:09

and stuff. I'm glad those days

43:11

are gone, at least for now.

43:13

Great Filling Station, hold up, Jimmy

43:16

Buffett. Who says they don't play

43:18

the hits? We heard from Bob

43:20

and Rang, Mr. Trace, keener than

43:22

most person. That one always cracks

43:25

me up. I don't care where

43:27

I am in the bus, on

43:29

the toilet, something any, at dinner.

43:31

It cracks me up, okay? Phil

43:33

Campos. That was the street fight

43:36

song. Wesley Willis, Wesley Willis. Inc

43:38

incarcerate my ass. Let's see, the

43:40

parking ticket blues was Mark Handley

43:43

and the bone idols. You heard

43:45

me right, friends. And keep your

43:47

hands off my car from some

43:49

anonymous person, okay? And yeah, you

43:52

better keep your hands off my

43:54

car. We're going to have to

43:56

move on to the next level,

43:58

which is pretty much killers. A

44:01

lot of... Killers in

44:03

the thing

44:05

here. A

44:07

lot of

44:09

them with

44:12

guns, but

44:15

not all

44:17

of them.

44:20

So here,

44:23

this is

44:25

how it

44:28

starts. Had

44:31

his parents known the grief and

44:33

shame this child would bring to

44:35

them, they would have traded with

44:37

a devil for a child to

44:39

replace him. But of course they

44:41

couldn't know what kind of monster

44:44

was their child. As a baby

44:46

he was normal, though his eyes

44:48

were naked wild. And until his

44:51

seventh birthday, he'd done nothing really

44:53

wrong. Then he killed his little

44:55

sister with a broken witchworth crong.

44:58

As his sister lay there dying

45:00

in the awful crimson flood, he

45:03

noticed how his hands and arms

45:05

were stained in drops of blood.

45:07

Well, he couldn't face his mother,

45:10

couldn't tell her what he'd done,

45:12

so he crept into the house

45:14

and got his father's old shotgun.

45:16

Now the gun was always loaded

45:18

with a heavy powder charge. It

45:20

was used to kill the vicious

45:23

beast that roamed the hills at

45:25

large. When the boy's mother happened

45:27

to step out the kitchen door,

45:29

he pressed down upon the trigger

45:31

and his mother lived no more.

45:33

With the echo of the shotgun

45:36

blast still ringing in his ears,

45:38

a little killer watched his father

45:40

find his mother in shed

45:42

tears. He crept up behind

45:44

his father with a razor-sharp

45:46

and axe, just like Lizzy

45:48

Borden gave his father 40

45:50

wax. To this day, no

45:52

one has seen that a

45:55

little monster anywhere. Though it's

45:57

known, he's still about. He's

45:59

left a body here. there.

46:01

Although it

46:03

isn't likely,

46:06

it could

46:08

ever happen

46:11

to you,

46:14

if you

46:16

find a

46:18

dead man, just

46:21

remember, I can

46:23

kill you too.

46:26

The coal steel

46:28

lines, the railbed

46:31

was frozen with

46:33

ice. In the

46:36

distance an engine

46:38

was keeping the

46:41

time. The steam

46:43

whistle moaned just

46:46

twice. Down in

46:48

the cut, past

46:50

the old tressel

46:53

bridge. Twelve fine

46:55

horses stood. Massmen.

46:57

and shivered in

46:59

the cold on

47:01

the ridge, not

47:03

far from the

47:06

Glendale Woods. The press

47:08

lamp shone from

47:10

the swaying train

47:13

when the driver

47:15

saw the red

47:17

light. Her iron

47:19

breaks bark like

47:21

silver rain and

47:23

the metal screen.

47:38

He was staring down the

47:40

barrel of an army coat,

47:42

that thread on to tear

47:44

him. Your

48:01

dandics was gone

48:04

and jumped down

48:06

to the ground

48:08

But we won't

48:36

There's coach, afraid with

48:39

years, quickly they scrambled

48:41

aboard. Men were the

48:44

sweating, and the women

48:46

shed tears, and a

48:49

preacher, prayed to the

48:51

Lord. When they opened

48:54

to say, there was

48:57

nothing for them, so

48:59

they stroked. He's

49:07

best bullet man, Robin

49:09

old folks for the

49:11

go-oh watch change. Now

50:03

some say the devil

50:05

had taken his soul.

50:08

Some say his spirit

50:10

survived. But we all

50:13

know he was nothing

50:15

but a Missouri farm

50:18

bought just fighting to

50:20

stay alive. There's

50:35

a ghost of a

50:37

chance to scale here

50:39

on Jessica. Okay.

53:09

Last Saturday night.

53:12

So a girl

53:14

trying to get

53:17

home. Man, she

53:20

really had it.

53:22

Her half a

53:25

dress. One stocking.

53:27

Fortunately, she had

53:30

on underwear. She

53:32

had on her

53:34

way. She had

53:36

on her. She's

53:40

standing on the corner waiting

53:42

for the light change so

53:44

she can make it across

53:46

the street. Before the light

53:48

changed I caught her by

53:50

the left hand with my

53:52

right hand. With my left

53:55

hand I pointed my 45

53:57

between her eyes. I said

53:59

walk system. Don't shoot. I

54:01

say shut up and

54:04

listen. Walk, sister. All

54:06

right. So I'm watching

54:08

it to the nearest

54:10

alley. I say, all

54:12

right, give it up,

54:14

tell me where it's

54:17

at. Don't shoot. Oh,

54:19

don't kill me. I

54:21

say, shut up. No.

54:23

Then what? I want

54:25

that transistor radio. All

54:27

right. Next

54:32

day I went there, city

54:34

hall. Pulled it between the

54:36

eyes, counter clerk. Say, all

54:39

right brother, give it up

54:41

and tell me where it's

54:43

at. But don't shoot, don't

54:45

kill me. I'm married to

54:47

anybody you want to hear?

54:49

You have your license right

54:51

right here. Shut up, no!

54:54

I want that transistor radio.

54:56

Then I went down to

54:58

police headquarters. I threw that

55:00

same 45 between the eyes of

55:02

the chief jailer. Ah! Don't shoot!

55:04

Don't kill me! Here's the key,

55:07

let every man in the house!

55:09

I don't give what the hell!

55:11

Shout I know! Dad what? I

55:14

want that transistor radio. never

55:30

know. You never

55:32

know. You never

55:34

know. Like that

55:37

transistor radio. You'll

55:39

never know. What

55:41

that boy will

55:44

ever want? Oh,

55:46

that boy will

55:48

ever want is

55:51

a transistor radio.

55:53

Oh, oh, oh,

55:55

oh. It's

56:00

all right, give it

56:03

up, tell me what's

56:05

up. Yeah, take it

56:08

out. Don't shoot, don't

56:10

kill us. He's a

56:13

kid of the main

56:15

part. Go get it

56:17

out. Don't shoot, shut

56:20

up, no. Get what?

56:22

I want that trans

56:25

just the radio. And

56:27

when I died. Standing

56:30

beside my grave, reading

56:32

as ashes, ashes, ashes,

56:34

dust, dust. Every time

56:37

the fool said a word,

56:39

he had to cut. Amen.

56:42

They're my only ladies standing

56:44

beside the grave. She was

56:47

just crying a boo-hoo with

56:49

turning the flips, inhaling dust,

56:52

spreading out dirt, grass in

56:54

her hair, dirt in the

56:57

mouth, running out the nose.

57:00

What's the matter? Just

57:02

because he's dead? You

57:04

think that too is

57:06

going to be the reason

57:09

why you have to go?

57:11

She said, no, no, no,

57:13

no, no, no. She said,

57:15

then what? He's taking with

57:17

him. My trust is the

57:19

radio. Yo, yo, yo, yo,

57:22

yo. Critter

57:49

almost ever bad at

57:51

news. Good after good,

57:53

good, he's the upon

57:55

you quietly and shoot

57:57

you in a bed.

58:00

He was

58:02

a no

58:05

good gun,

58:07

potent critic,

58:09

called Jack.

58:12

Whoopee! Duh!

58:14

Duh! Duh!

58:16

Duh! Duh!

58:19

Duh! Duh!

58:21

Duh! Duh!

58:23

Duh! Duh!

58:25

Duh! He's

58:29

coming down to shooting,

58:32

hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, he never

58:34

combed his power, and

58:37

he never took

58:39

a bath. He was

58:41

a no-good gun-thoughton critter,

58:44

called Jack. He'd

58:46

come in town of

58:49

shooting, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. He'd

58:51

come in town of

58:53

shooting, holland-hanna-hootin', of

58:56

people they all gotta'-din'-din'-din'-din'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-d'-

59:00

The share tried to fool him,

59:02

but jagged for he's true them,

59:04

And caught another dot your phony

59:07

gun, Where'd the gallop fainer prove

59:09

it? All those calls, ginea hauls.

59:12

Doo'er, I can do it, I

59:14

can do it. All the cats

59:16

in town knew, The Jackson was

59:19

bought. Do it, I can do

59:21

it, I can do it, I

59:23

can do it. He chased the

59:27

train on

59:29

foot, and

59:32

he was

59:34

run out

59:37

a... Right.

59:39

He was

59:42

a no

59:44

good gun.

59:46

Don't get

59:49

a call.

59:51

Jack! Look

59:54

at that.

1:00:00

Is he

1:00:02

mad? Is

1:00:05

he bad?

1:00:09

Is he

1:00:12

bad? Do

1:00:15

a horse

1:00:18

have ankles?

1:00:21

High old

1:00:25

mustache. She

1:00:44

left him there

1:00:46

alone with her

1:00:48

ghost locked inside.

1:00:50

Things ain't been

1:00:52

the same since

1:00:55

his mama died.

1:00:57

She left him

1:00:59

there alone with

1:01:01

her ghost locked

1:01:03

inside. to

1:01:46

make these lamb cheese.

1:02:01

from the scene and

1:02:04

Mama still locked up

1:02:06

down in the basement,

1:02:08

held on my nose,

1:02:11

and went on in

1:02:13

his head. It took

1:02:15

the killing when the

1:02:18

corpses ran dry. It

1:02:20

took the killing when

1:02:22

the corpses ran dry.

1:02:25

This warden went missing

1:02:27

and the folks started

1:02:30

wondering. found

1:02:34

her body hanging in his

1:02:36

old wood shed. Started like

1:02:39

a hogging, deader than dead.

1:02:41

The lock came and changed

1:02:44

and led him away. Sent

1:02:46

him up stayed for the

1:02:48

Kremlin, saying, left him there

1:02:51

to write for the rest

1:02:53

of his days. Hell only

1:02:56

knows what went on in

1:02:58

his head. The

1:03:19

night may be warm, or

1:03:21

it may be cold. I'm

1:03:24

a man who needs someone,

1:03:26

a woman to hold. I'm

1:03:28

a loner with problems,

1:03:31

many so small, but

1:03:33

small problems in millions

1:03:35

is no living ball.

1:03:37

I need someone to

1:03:40

claim to, to help

1:03:42

me to bear these

1:03:44

troubles and heartaches, lit

1:03:46

teas, drive and dare.

1:03:49

I don't know a woman

1:03:51

and yet I crave on.

1:03:53

My mind tells my body,

1:03:55

don't stand there, get one.

1:03:58

Then all of us... Suddenly,

1:04:00

I'm no longer clean. I'm

1:04:02

a mass of wild muscle,

1:04:05

a human machine. My body

1:04:07

is reckless. My mind, unaware.

1:04:09

In these moments of madness,

1:04:12

I fight, flaw, and care.

1:04:30

and then all is quiet. And

1:04:32

I'm me again. I've done wrong

1:04:34

without knowing and caused so much

1:04:37

pain. At last I am captured.

1:04:39

No longer to Rome. The

1:04:42

state penitentiary will now

1:04:44

be my home. And

1:04:46

the worst thing that

1:04:49

happens here in the

1:04:51

clinic is that you

1:04:53

go out of your

1:04:56

mind as you start

1:04:58

to think. My mind's

1:05:00

in a frenzy. My

1:05:03

body in flight. And

1:05:05

so now I've been

1:05:08

labeled... Strangley in the

1:05:10

night. Strangley

1:05:17

in the

1:05:20

night. Strangley.

1:05:23

They said,

1:05:27

don't let

1:05:30

her. Putting

1:06:00

me down, showing everybody

1:06:02

his ring. Ah!

1:10:00

Shut you! The

1:10:31

young woman walked home that

1:10:33

night on that dimly lit

1:10:35

street near home. Never really

1:10:38

knowing that soon her children

1:10:40

would have no mother. She

1:10:42

had made the slowly walk

1:10:45

many times before. She was

1:10:47

looking forward to being with

1:10:49

her two little kids once

1:10:52

more. A man lunged out

1:10:54

of the shadows as the

1:10:56

startled mother jumped away. She

1:10:59

screamed and struggled to know

1:11:01

a veil. His knife snuffed

1:11:03

her life away. Thirteen people

1:11:06

saw the murder that night,

1:11:08

and thirteen people turned away.

1:11:11

No one wanted to get

1:11:13

involved. It was too big

1:11:15

a price to pay. In

1:11:18

an upstairs apartment, a man

1:11:20

and a wife through her,

1:11:22

the scream convinced themselves it

1:11:25

was only a dream. The

1:11:27

rising young businessman came driving

1:11:29

by the scene. He took

1:11:32

one look and kept going.

1:11:34

His clothes had just been

1:11:36

cleaned. The landlady up the

1:11:38

street, who saw the struggle

1:11:41

below, just turned the other

1:11:43

way. She didn't want to

1:11:45

know. The young woman shouldn't

1:11:48

have died that night. There

1:11:50

was help within her reach.

1:11:52

But help never came, was

1:11:54

to blame, I guess. We'll

1:11:56

never know. Oh, 13 people

1:11:58

saw the murder. and 13

1:12:01

people turned away.

1:12:03

No one wanted

1:12:05

to get involved.

1:12:08

It was too

1:12:10

big a price

1:12:12

to pay. The

1:12:32

man lunged out of the

1:12:34

shadows as the startled mother

1:12:36

jumped away. She screamed and

1:12:39

struggled in all day. Oh,

1:12:41

his knife snapped her life

1:12:43

away. Yeah, 13 people saw

1:12:46

the murder that night, and

1:12:48

13 people turned away. No

1:12:51

one wanted to get involved.

1:12:53

It was too big a

1:12:55

price to pay. It was

1:12:58

too big a price to

1:13:00

pay. It was too

1:13:03

big a price to

1:13:05

pay. Thirteen people found

1:13:07

a way. Thirteen people

1:13:10

found a way. He thought,

1:13:12

as he climbed, with

1:13:15

his ammo and guns,

1:13:17

of his beautiful

1:13:20

childhood, his

1:13:22

home and loved

1:13:24

ones. The day was

1:13:26

quite warm. and

1:13:29

the steps were deep,

1:13:32

but his spirit

1:13:34

was strong, and

1:13:36

his thoughts were

1:13:38

deep. From the

1:13:41

top of the tower,

1:13:43

he could hold out

1:13:45

for days. He'd been

1:13:48

in the service, and

1:13:50

knew all the ways.

1:13:52

He'd fight all along

1:13:55

with his back to

1:13:57

the wall. But

1:14:01

how long had he

1:14:03

been here? He couldn't

1:14:07

recall. He'd

1:14:09

been a good

1:14:11

husband, good father,

1:14:14

good son, he

1:14:16

remembered that dad,

1:14:19

good son, he

1:14:22

remembered that dad,

1:14:25

he remembered

1:14:27

that dad, He

1:14:31

tried to think. Were

1:14:33

his buddies all dead?

1:14:36

But all he could

1:14:38

feel were the pains

1:14:40

in his head. From

1:14:42

the top of the

1:14:45

tower, he could see

1:14:47

all around. The people

1:14:49

like ants, crawling all

1:14:52

over the ground. The

1:14:54

people like ants, crawling

1:14:56

all over the ground.

1:15:01

He pulled the trigger.

1:15:04

One fell in these

1:15:06

tracks. The other just

1:15:09

stood there, like figures

1:15:11

of wax. He looked

1:15:13

through his skull. God,

1:15:16

how many there are.

1:15:18

Their enemies, boy. Now get

1:15:20

on with a war.

1:15:23

You know you can't

1:15:25

win, but you'll give

1:15:27

them a good fight.

1:15:29

They killed all your

1:15:31

buddies. They

1:15:33

scattered like sheep running every

1:15:35

which way But he picked

1:15:38

him off one by one

1:15:40

like a child at his

1:15:42

plane Where had they come

1:15:45

from and when did

1:15:47

they land? Odd don't

1:15:49

think on it soldier

1:15:51

you don't understand? He

1:15:54

knew he'd done right

1:15:56

killing mother and wife

1:15:58

He had saved them

1:16:00

from a hell of

1:16:02

a life. From the

1:16:05

campus below he hears

1:16:07

fires and shots. But

1:16:10

he sticks to his

1:16:12

job and he keeps

1:16:14

them from his thoughts.

1:16:28

Now a

1:16:31

sharpshooter spots

1:16:34

him and

1:16:36

shoots him

1:16:39

down dead

1:16:41

So that

1:16:43

He'll never

1:16:45

more Have

1:16:48

those pains

1:16:50

in his

1:16:52

head He

1:16:55

died in

1:17:01

the top. but

1:17:43

you are You

1:18:01

caught you with your fingers

1:18:03

in the tail. He slapped

1:18:05

your hand, so you settled

1:18:08

up your belt. With a

1:18:10

gun. With a gun. Many

1:19:42

men wonder about Juan

1:19:44

Rio. Many wonder too

1:19:46

much. And they sometimes

1:19:48

died. Rio was a

1:19:50

southern gunman. And he

1:19:53

had that southern pride.

1:19:55

I remember when Rio

1:19:57

came to town that

1:19:59

day. he had a mean

1:20:01

look in his eye. Everyone

1:20:03

knew that before he was

1:20:05

gone, at least one man

1:20:07

would die. Now, Rio wasn't

1:20:09

an outlaw, but he sure

1:20:11

had a troubled mind. And

1:20:13

if any man wanted to

1:20:15

fight and die, Rio was

1:20:17

easy to find. He had

1:20:19

16 notches on the guns

1:20:21

that he wore, and before

1:20:23

he passed on, there would

1:20:25

be many more. No

1:20:29

one ever bothered Rio's

1:20:32

woman. She was

1:20:34

his and his

1:20:36

alone. One man

1:20:38

tried, and that

1:20:40

man died. As

1:20:42

soon as Juan

1:20:44

Rio came home.

1:20:47

People were saying

1:20:49

that Rio was

1:20:51

bad. The man

1:20:53

had a lot

1:20:55

of good. They

1:20:57

said you'd better

1:20:59

watch him because he'd kill

1:21:02

you if he could. The

1:21:04

last time Rio came to

1:21:06

town, he saw the flashing

1:21:08

of a meaner gun. You

1:21:10

couldn't see a hint of

1:21:12

fear in his eye. He

1:21:14

was a brave man. He'd

1:21:16

never run. One Rio fell

1:21:19

with his face in the

1:21:21

dirt. He was just too

1:21:23

brave to run. But

1:21:25

when Rio died, they

1:21:28

found he had 30

1:21:30

notches on his

1:21:32

gun. One Rio

1:21:34

was very brave, but

1:21:36

his own life

1:21:38

he couldn't save.

1:21:41

And now, they're carrying

1:21:43

him to his

1:21:45

grave. The

1:22:06

ballot of one reel. God,

1:22:09

I'm telling you, I gotta

1:22:11

stop playing these hits because

1:22:13

I'm gonna lose my

1:22:15

credibility here. I'm KBC. This

1:22:17

is The Bit Slap and

1:22:20

we've been talking about crime

1:22:22

all night. I didn't introduce

1:22:24

myself at the beginning because

1:22:26

you know. You download these

1:22:28

things, right? Okay. We started

1:22:30

up top. with the cause

1:22:33

of it all. The little

1:22:35

monster that was Russ Big

1:22:37

Daddy Blackwell. A train robbery

1:22:39

told by Lee von Helm.

1:22:41

Let's see, transistor radio was

1:22:43

Bongo Joe. Not sure what

1:22:46

to make of that one,

1:22:48

but there it is. Didn't sound

1:22:50

legit to me. Gun tot and

1:22:52

critter called Jack was the Hollywood

1:22:55

Argiles. We heard an original Ed

1:22:57

Gein song from Dan Durgis, there's

1:22:59

a lot of them out there,

1:23:02

Albert DeSalvo, not the real one,

1:23:04

but Strangler in the Night, that's

1:23:06

what the credit says on the

1:23:09

single. We heard Lori Burton and

1:23:11

Nightmare, Die, Die, my darling, was

1:23:13

Metallica, covering, who are those guys?

1:23:16

I can't remember. Thirteen people turned

1:23:18

away. in 1972 from Gene Marshall,

1:23:20

referencing Katie Genevies and that whole

1:23:22

messy thing back then. Let's see,

1:23:24

Johnny Legend, again, that was the

1:23:27

tower, you know what that was

1:23:29

in reference to. Steely Dan, a

1:23:31

demo version or an alternate mix

1:23:33

or something with a gun. And

1:23:35

then the Ballad Borne Rio from

1:23:37

Rod Keith and the MSR people,

1:23:40

okay? So if you're going to

1:23:42

be involved in crime, you're going

1:23:44

to need to... You're going to

1:23:46

need some help because you can't do

1:23:48

it by yourself, okay? So here, this is

1:23:51

where my sponsor comes in, and I'll see

1:23:53

you next week. Have you or a loved

1:23:55

one been injured in a fight? Has someone

1:23:57

else's fix gotten the way of your foot?

1:23:59

or flying elbow. Did the barbed wire

1:24:02

in your last cage match lead to

1:24:04

the heartbreak of hepatitis? I'm Saul Goodman.

1:24:06

Whether it's your body or just your

1:24:08

feelings that have been hurt, tag me

1:24:11

in and I'll fight for you. I

1:24:13

slipped on my opponent's blood and fell

1:24:15

out of the ring. As a result,

1:24:17

I missed two fights. That's two guys

1:24:20

I didn't send to the hospital. Saul

1:24:22

Goodman got me the money I deserve.

1:24:24

He's a real fighter, and I'm a

1:24:26

real fighter too. But don't take my

1:24:29

word for it. Just ask this

1:24:31

guy. Yeah, I got a black

1:24:33

guy in the ring. But what

1:24:35

really hurt was a sports writer

1:24:37

who called me fat, lazy, and

1:24:39

said I had a glass jaw.

1:24:42

I don't. People can't lie about

1:24:44

you, especially in the press. Reporters,

1:24:46

bloggers, tweeters, even family members who

1:24:48

talk too loud at parties. Put

1:24:50

me in the legal ring and

1:24:53

I'll fight for you and I'll

1:24:55

fight saw or else. He'll

1:25:07

beat you to the emergency room

1:25:10

and paint a devastating picture of

1:25:12

pain and gloom. He'll hate to

1:25:15

hear all about your wreck, but

1:25:17

deep down he's kind of happy

1:25:19

that you broke your neck. He's

1:25:23

almost a doctor. He's worse than

1:25:25

a crook. He's the lawyer on

1:25:27

the back of your telephone

1:25:30

book. He can cry on

1:25:32

cue and he can lie

1:25:34

to your face. And he

1:25:36

can probably get you a

1:25:38

bigger neck break. They hadn't

1:25:41

made anybody that he won't

1:25:43

sue. He'll get the radio

1:25:45

station you was listening to.

1:25:47

And I'm picking up your

1:25:50

sisters in the police report.

1:25:52

He can probably take that

1:25:54

rope to court. It weighs

1:25:56

on attorney at law if

1:25:59

you're... In a body cast,

1:26:01

he's the man to call.

1:26:03

He'll sue your boss and

1:26:05

your mom and them. He

1:26:08

could make a preacher wanna

1:26:10

injure him. He'll take him

1:26:12

to court. He'll get you

1:26:14

the cash. He's the Johnny

1:26:16

Cochran of the Bow Whip

1:26:18

Lash. He's the slickest lawyer

1:26:20

that you ever saw. He'll

1:26:23

have you eating jawbreakers through

1:26:25

a straw. He's

1:26:28

willing to grovel, he's

1:26:30

willing to beg. What would

1:26:32

you say to a broken

1:26:35

leg if we could get

1:26:37

a fake cast put on

1:26:39

your hand? That might be

1:26:41

worth another two or three

1:26:44

grand. He'll take them to

1:26:46

court and get the money

1:26:48

real quick. He'll tell the

1:26:50

judge that he's worried sick

1:26:52

and find the sawbones to

1:26:55

claim that your vertebra's been.

1:26:57

But you'll have to cough

1:26:59

up another 10%. Dick Leasle,

1:27:02

attorney it law. He's

1:27:04

never seen an accidental

1:27:06

fall. He'll sue the

1:27:08

judge and both of

1:27:10

your kids. It couldn't

1:27:12

possibly be anything you

1:27:14

did. He'll

1:27:16

get you the money and

1:27:18

he'll get it right now.

1:27:21

Slick Dick's gonna show you

1:27:23

how. He can make a

1:27:26

12-man jury squall over a

1:27:28

compound fracture or some bad

1:27:30

cold slow. Dick Wiesel,

1:27:33

attorney at law. He's

1:27:35

F. Lee Bailey with

1:27:37

bigger balls. He'll represent

1:27:39

you and work so

1:27:41

hard. You'll be sure

1:27:44

Dick's gonna get his

1:27:46

ass this far. And

1:27:48

Dick Wiesel wants a

1:27:50

third of this song.

1:28:00

So,