0:00

Hey, you found us. It's the Brooke and Jeffrey podcast.

0:02

Do you hear? Yeah, this is what we sound

0:04

like. You can go onto our website, Broken

0:07

Jeffrey dot com to see what we look like,

0:09

but to know what we smell like, you're

0:12

gonna have to go to Broken Jeffrey's Candles for a

0:14

cause, doesn't

0:17

You're gonna have to find out when you buy a candle

0:20

of the proceeds go to charity. Yeah,

0:24

all of it is online at Broken Jeffrey dot

0:26

com. All right, now let's start the joke. How

0:29

do you set up your dating profile right

0:32

now? Do you think there's

0:35

too many pictures of me holding a drink?

0:37

Do I look like an alcoholic? Has

0:39

ever been a concern for you? Alexis? I

0:42

think about it? I leave them there? Yeah, are

0:44

cute. Yeah, it's like, oh no, this one

0:47

doesn't have me drinking, because

0:49

like, I want to look interesting but not weird.

0:52

Yeah, maybe I should post that cute photo of

0:54

me swallowing a corn on the cob hole? How

0:57

is that cute? Cute?

0:59

Trust me? You

1:01

know, conversations like that go on in people's

1:03

heads all the time. Yeah, for sure. But

1:05

now dating experts are predicting next

1:08

year, we're going to see one of the biggest and strangest

1:11

new trends in dating apps ever. It's

1:13

called reverse cat fishing.

1:18

That's where, instead of putting up photos

1:20

where you look better than you actually

1:22

do in real life, you post photos

1:25

where you purposely try and look worse

1:28

right away. This is what I do in my day

1:30

to day life, and I'm gonna tell you guys,

1:32

it works. You shower once and put on

1:34

too makeup, and you get so many compliments

1:37

when you don't ever do it. It's true.

1:39

How many texts do we get from listeners every

1:41

single day saying I looked at Brooks Facebook

1:44

page and I was like, and then

1:46

I met her in person at a gas station. I was like,

1:48

oh yeah, I thought

1:51

Brooke does one charity event and I get guys

1:53

in sweatpair.

1:59

I'm telling you, guys, this is the way to live.

2:01

That's right under promise over

2:04

delivered absolutely. The challenge

2:06

though, is being able to lock down a date

2:08

when you're not using the best photos of yourself.

2:11

But if you can pull that off, reverse

2:13

catfishing can probably be the best possible

2:15

start to a future relationship. Ever, Wow,

2:17

this is really and you have to be able to judge,

2:20

like, are they like ugly ugly or they

2:22

just yeah, yeah,

2:25

someone who's into ugs and you show up on the date

2:27

and they're like, oh my god, you're hot. Yeah. Now

2:31

Snapchat's gonna start coming out with ugly filters

2:33

to make you look uglier than you are. They already

2:35

have a couple. Yeah, people

2:38

are actually going to post them. Yeah. I'm not falling

2:40

for that, God filtered. Anyway,

2:43

Let's move on. So the shot collar question

2:45

of the day, and I'm just hoping Jake

2:48

gives us a question that lowers our

2:50

overall self esteem and makes us

2:52

question why we work here. Jake what he got from

2:55

us? What are some of the most

2:57

common ways that we lie?

2:59

I guess on the dating apps.

3:02

For some people, maybe it's adding a couple of extra

3:04

inches to your height. For others,

3:06

it's telling your boss you're stuck in bad traffic

3:08

when you're late to work. Yeah, while

3:11

you're drinking a Starbucks and everyone

3:13

knows you need to slip in a few lies into your

3:15

wedding vowels. Trust

3:19

me, you do not want to be one hundred percent honest

3:21

in that moment. But

3:23

if you look close enough, one place you'll

3:25

find it more than any other is on a job

3:28

resume. Yeah,

3:30

for sure. And a new survey asked a thousand

3:32

job applicants to name something you've

3:34

lied about on that important document. Oh

3:37

interesting. I have the top five answers, and

3:39

by far number one was

3:41

education. Oh people, I

3:45

mean, I guess nobody ever really checks it. Your

3:48

college. You'll have to guess the rest of the top

3:50

five. In a special linked In

3:52

sponsored edition of Unglued

3:55

Family Few LinkedIn,

3:58

as we do every morning, we'll start the guy who never

4:00

needs to lie about adding inches to any bodily

4:03

measurement, Young Jeffrey. Jeffrey,

4:06

tell me something people lie about on their resumes.

4:09

I do think it's probably the same as with

4:12

your dating profiles. The types of things

4:14

that you would lie about. What do you mean, like

4:16

like your interests or something? Yeah, like your interests

4:19

in your hobbies? Do you put the pretty

4:22

resume your trying to

4:24

show your future employer with the type of person

4:26

that you are. I've never put a hobby

4:28

on my resume, and hobbies I

4:33

feel like, not in this industry, but in

4:35

other industries. You want to bond with the people

4:37

that are trying to hire you. I'm gonna go with,

4:39

do you lie about your hobbies on

4:41

your dating profile? Hobbies

4:44

not dating

4:46

profile on the resume. Hobbies is not in the top

4:48

file. Resume asking the

4:51

wrong room about resumes.

4:54

I haven't

4:56

touched my in twelve years. Let's go over to

4:58

alexis something you lie on a

5:00

resume? Do you have a resume? Yeah?

5:03

I didn't lie about like my jobs on it, but I

5:05

would like maybe round up how long I've been at

5:07

a job professionally,

5:09

Yeah, but also the amount of

5:11

times I've put just friends as references and said

5:13

it's as good, or had people text

5:16

me and be like, hey, if they call you say you're my manager

5:18

from wherever. Yeah,

5:20

I'm gonna say references, Jake, references

5:23

are not in the top five. Send

5:26

it over to Jose. So I haven't done

5:29

a resume in forever, but I think

5:31

what the best thing that I would lie about would

5:33

be my position at the last job.

5:35

Yeah, that's what I'm

5:39

a manager instead of being just like a lead

5:42

or something, you know, just like kind of gas. Well, people

5:44

take it way farther than that. They're like, I

5:46

was chief Master supervisor

5:48

of Ultra Violet operations, Like,

5:51

what does that mean matter is the light tech.

5:53

I clean tanning beds with a P. So

5:56

I'm going to say your position or your role,

5:58

Jake, your position or your role is

6:01

number two the

6:04

job title right after education. We're

6:06

back over to Brook. Okay. So I'm just

6:08

like going down in my mind what is actually

6:10

on your resume? Right? And

6:13

for me, I stop at the skills

6:15

area and I know

6:18

how to work this program and

6:21

maybe you don't. You know,

6:24

Yeah, you're like, well my roommate does. So we'll

6:26

figure it out. I'm gonna go to skills.

6:28

Skills is number four, skills

6:34

or experience. I'll count as one thing for

6:36

something people lie but on their resume. So Brook is safe,

6:38

Jose is safe. Jeffrey alexis

6:40

not safe. We're back to Jeffreys. Something you lie

6:42

about on a resume, see, I think if you were

6:45

smart, Okay, something that you

6:47

should lie about on your resume is

6:49

how much money you made it your last job.

6:53

I think

6:55

you put it on there. My last

6:57

job they paid me five hundred thousand

7:00

dollars a month a month. So if you want

7:02

me, I'm in high demand. Well I'm gonna

7:04

go with what is lying about how much

7:06

money you made at your previous job. It's

7:09

called salary. Oh well, yeah,

7:11

it doesn't have one working on it. Lying

7:13

about your previous compensation is

7:16

not on the top five? Is

7:18

that just because it's not on a resume made

7:20

it's somewhere on his with his hobbies

7:24

bird watching half a million dollars

7:27

Alexis, I'm

7:30

gonna go in lying about how long

7:33

you were at a past job. The

7:35

length of time you worked at a job is

7:37

number three, Oh

7:41

man, go over the top five. I gave you number

7:43

one. That was your education, lying about where you went

7:45

to school or if you graduated. Number

7:48

two job titler role Jose got that

7:50

number three was the length of time you worked at a previous

7:52

job. Alexis said that number four Brooks

7:55

said skills or experienced, and number five is

7:57

your achievements. You had certification

8:00

or other awards you'd want a previous job, guy,

8:03

employee of the Year or something. Does anyone else

8:05

just want to see Jeffrey's old resume? Yeah? I

8:08

wasn't planning on ever getting a job. Honestly. I

8:10

was just hoping to coast from age ten to eighty

8:13

and then when you grow up rich,

8:15

it's like I'm just rely on those

8:17

inheritances. All right,

8:20

so I'm gonna be getting shocked here. Somebody

8:22

wanted to hear Bad Guy by Billie Eilish.

8:26

So you're a tough guy, like it, really

8:29

rough guy. Just can't get enough,

8:31

guy, just always so puffed. Guy,

8:33

I'm the bad type.

8:35

I can

8:40

only hear that song is the Batman and you're Batman

8:44

the bat Guy. Yeah, you can check

8:46

that out. It's still up on our YouTube at Brooke

8:48

and Jeffrey, go subscribe as your

8:50

shot call a question of the Day Broke

8:52

and Jeffrey in the morning. You've

8:54

heard how people in Hollywood pitch their ideas

8:56

to the big studio execs. Yeah,

8:59

right, it's like, imagine

9:01

it's Pretty Woman meets Star

9:04

Wars what and

9:06

they're like, oh, like prostitutes

9:09

and space and they don't kiss

9:11

exactly, Okay, they don't kiss

9:13

on the mouse. I

9:16

mean the lightsabers would be pretty sweet. So

9:19

here's thirty million dollars. That's

9:22

how things get done in Hollywood. And

9:24

I know this because ABC just announced

9:27

they're doing a new show that's basically

9:29

two other shows matched into one. What

9:32

is it. It's Shark Tank meets

9:35

Punked. Wait, they're

9:38

calling it the Prank Panel, So

9:40

wait, people come with their tank what The panel

9:46

consists of Johnny Knoxville and

9:48

comedians Eric Andre and Gabbaret

9:51

Sitabay and the

9:53

premises. Every week they hear pitches from

9:56

regular people who want to pull a prank on

9:58

someone they know. So, oh

10:00

they want to pull a Oh I thought it was just people

10:02

coming with their dreams. At an end, the

10:04

comedians talking about them. Yeah, yeah,

10:07

these people come into their to this panel and they're

10:09

like, Okay, get this. I want

10:11

to prank my mom to accidentally spill

10:14

milk on her lap when she's eating Ethereal, Okay,

10:17

it's gonna be so funny. I mean. So

10:19

basically, it's like the comedians have

10:21

gotten too tired and can't think of any

10:24

real ideas because I mean, we come up with these

10:26

every week for our phone taps. I mean I get

10:28

it. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But they're just gonna

10:30

throw a bunch of money at these ideas and make

10:32

these small pranks really epic. Okay,

10:36

it's gonna be premiering next year, so maybe

10:38

we should just be forwarding all our phone tap requests

10:40

to them. Do you think that they'll get the two ideas

10:43

that we get like, tell my mom I die.

10:45

Oh, I

10:47

love it for the weekend. Tell

10:50

them I kidnapped him. Yeah, I

10:55

mean I'm sorry. Thank you for your requests. Yeah,

10:58

Jeffrey dot com anyway,

11:03

look for that on ABC next year and

11:05

Laser Stories coming up. It's

11:12

the radio segment that's launching a new restaurant

11:14

with celebrity investors rock

11:17

star John bon Jovi. Oh,

11:21

it's actually a burger joint called bun

11:23

Jovi. It's

11:26

gonna be soft Foods because he's so old, it's

11:28

already gone out of business

11:30

and no one's buying bun Jovie Burgers.

11:34

It's Laser Stories, the segment.

11:36

We read weird news stories around the globe,

11:38

just like everyone else does, except we have a laser

11:41

and those other limp lettuces just don't. This

11:43

first Laser Stories out of Sydney, Australia,

11:46

the Toronga Zoo does this cool program

11:49

where people can pay extra to sleep

11:51

at the zoo.

11:53

Oh my god, my kids

11:55

would love that. This one's called the Roaring

11:58

Snore Ute name to

12:00

guests pay anywhere from four hundred to seven hundred

12:02

dollars per person to sleep just

12:05

a couple hundred feet away from the

12:07

African lion enclosure. Wow,

12:11

go to bed, honey, everything will be fine.

12:13

Last week, guests got more than they paid

12:16

for as they were shaken awake in their

12:18

tents by staff members who told them they needed

12:20

to run to safety because five

12:22

lions had escaped. A

12:27

joke, right, The family thought it was a joke too,

12:30

or maybe it was a drill, but nope,

12:32

it was real. Four lion

12:34

cubs that are a little over a year old and

12:37

their adult sized father snuck out

12:39

of their fence looking for a late night snack. The

12:43

only place the family could get to was an outdoor

12:45

bathroom stall, where they all huddled behind

12:47

a locked door. I've

12:54

heard lions don't like public restrooms. Yeah,

12:56

and I don't know why I'm picturing. The restroom

12:59

has a bathroom door that's like just

13:01

off the grounds. You can see the lions pause back

13:04

and forth underneath. Luckily, four

13:06

out of five lions made their own way back into

13:08

their dens, while the fifth had to be safely

13:10

tranquilized and moved there and

13:13

afterwards, officials said they have repaired

13:15

the integrity issue with the fence

13:18

so their roar and snore program can go

13:20

back to normal. So four

13:22

of them are like, no, the snacks are locked up in the

13:24

bathroom. Dad, come back to bed. They

13:26

also reiterated the program is extremely

13:29

close to being one hundred percent safe. Almost

13:33

there. Yeah, they can't say percent because

13:35

you wanted to escape. But let's

13:37

go to your next laser story out of the interwebs.

13:41

No nonsense parent on Twitter said

13:43

she has a Halloween tradition where after her

13:45

kids go to sleep on Halloween Night, she

13:47

throws away all their trigger treating candy.

13:52

Come on, at least donate it away.

13:54

Everybody has different family traditions,

13:57

guys, let's not be judgmental. Way

13:59

family. I mean, I eat it

14:02

and that's your family

14:04

tree, but not all of it. But the thing

14:06

is, she said she forgot this year, and

14:08

so when her nine year old woke up the next morning and

14:10

saw candy was still there, they gave her hugs

14:12

and kisses. Hugging

14:17

and kissing your mom is sad. Well,

14:19

it's like finally they're like, oh my god,

14:21

mom didn't throw our Yeah, they're

14:24

so happy. Initially, the woman's

14:27

take on tossing the candy was getting a lot of

14:29

support, but then it started trending

14:31

online and she says once it escaped, the orbit

14:33

of her followers. She started getting a

14:35

lot of backlash, with some people accusing

14:37

her of bad parenting and even

14:39

abuse. I mean,

14:42

they've worked for that candy, but it's like, why

14:44

why let them go trigger treating if they can't

14:47

keep the candy? Well. She had a defense on

14:49

that, saying she believes it's reasonable

14:52

to not allow her kids to gorge themselves

14:54

on candy indefinitely for an endless

14:57

period of time. Is that fair?

14:59

I mean, okay, yeah, but there's a

15:01

lot of middle ground between that statement

15:04

and throwing it away the same night as Halloween.

15:06

I disagree it's all or nothing. She also

15:08

added that she isn't mean and

15:10

people are just looking at a less varnished

15:13

picture of parenting. She also

15:15

had some fun with the comments she was getting. One

15:17

person said, why don't they just hide

15:19

the candy from you, and she replied

15:22

they probably do. Oh

15:25

so that they have to hide candy from their mom

15:27

in order to eat it. That's healthy, well

15:30

hidden pleasure, actually hidden

15:34

this next the story is out of holiday headquarters.

15:37

It'll be easier than ever to get hammered this holiday

15:40

and face plane into your Christmas tree

15:42

while your family laugh said ye, that's

15:44

because Miller Light just unveiled something

15:46

called a tree keg stand

15:49

a tree here's

15:52

a picture of it, and the idea is that the base

15:55

around your tree is a Miller Light

15:57

wooden box that's big enough to turn your Chriss

16:00

tree into a beer serving station. It's

16:04

much classier than like all the guys in the twenties

16:06

who would used to just decorate their trees

16:08

with cans. I don't like how you're judging

16:11

our tree decorations. That's not very

16:13

kind. Also, it has holes in the top so you

16:15

can feed the tap through and you can

16:17

clip it onto a branch. I love

16:19

this because every family member can open

16:22

a present and chunk of beer. That's

16:24

the biggest problem. Yeah, all right,

16:26

Grandma Europe next barber Ankles.

16:28

I don't know why they say North America has an alcohol

16:31

problem. Yea. The

16:33

top of it is about three feet off the ground and

16:35

the tree sits on it, so it's not like a normal

16:38

tree stand. But they say it can hold trees up

16:40

to five feet tall and one hundred and

16:42

fifty pounds each.

16:46

Want to cost fifty dollars at tree kegstand

16:48

dot com. They go on sale next Thursday,

16:50

and if you want one. Just set a reminder and hope

16:53

that you get lucky, because it sounds like it's

16:55

a very limited supply. Plus

16:57

they're also selling beerniments again this year.

17:00

Those oversized ornaments you can slip a beer

17:02

can into and drink out them that

17:04

I'm already thinking of all the cute pictures. Yeah, this

17:08

next lays of shore is out of the study of dudes,

17:14

I was the only one that didn't have Oo. Okay,

17:17

bring out Jeffrey, bring up.

17:20

Well, this can't be right because if you study

17:22

out of London found women are more attracted

17:24

to nice guys than rich guys. Yeah.

17:28

I don't care anymore. Study

17:30

it's attraction. I'm not attracted

17:32

to the rich guys. You just want their money.

17:35

That's not attractive. Well,

17:37

the researchers say it actually makes sense from an evolutionary

17:40

perspective. When women are looking to get married,

17:42

they want things to be fair. Yeah,

17:45

they've also believed that they'll get that from nice

17:48

guys more than from rich guys. Absolutely.

17:50

Yeah, nice guy will treat you to dare about

17:53

you and your feeling. You want a partnership, not

17:55

a messy divorce unless you just want the big album.

17:57

I trying to sleep over here conversation.

18:00

But he is nice. Guys. We always finished

18:02

last exactly, so even though there may be less

18:04

money coming through the relationship, they believe

18:06

it'll be shared more equally with a nice

18:08

guys.

18:10

What am I picking? But

18:14

for all our listeners out there, did you hear that single

18:16

nice broke, ugly guys who are out of shape?

18:18

Alexis is biologically

18:20

programmed to be attracted to you at

18:23

some point. Just keep

18:27

waiting. My question is what about

18:29

the one guy who has it all? He

18:33

is nice, he's rich, and

18:36

he has a closet full of lightly used

18:38

shoes that he's more than happy

18:40

to share with a lucky lady. No

18:44

shoes, but okay, I don't know if

18:47

money you want to be human? Rude?

18:51

Yeah, that's m and says

18:53

their stories has come to it and we'll do it again, same time

18:55

on Monday. Broke and Jeffrey

18:57

in the morning. A

19:00

French guy is going viral right now after

19:02

posting about his very first date

19:05

with an American woman. Jose

19:08

is still looking for his Let's

19:14

just say the date went bad.

19:19

Do we have a translate? If

19:21

you don't, you're gonna

19:24

hear it directly from him. Because we have the

19:26

audio of what he posted. Plus

19:29

I want to be actor figured out a clever way

19:31

to get cast on a big time Hollywood TV show

19:34

and it took him almost zero effort

19:36

to get it done. It's all coming up

19:38

in a brand new shock

19:41

that's happening at seven ten. Do

19:45

you believe in the Lockness Monster? I

19:48

do. Some say she's

19:50

hiding in a small lake in Scotland.

19:52

Yeah yeah. Some say a young

19:54

boy snuck her out into the ocean free

19:56

Willie style, keep

20:03

on swimming. There are a few, though,

20:05

who believe that she's lying dormant.

20:07

Right here inside TikTok

20:10

Click shot, TikTok

20:14

click Shocked because we're so shocked

20:16

at how many clicks that viral video has been

20:19

getting. We've got some of the biggest tiktoks from

20:21

the past week. Ready, your first

20:23

TikTok Click Shocked is from a guy

20:25

named Nan Pacheco who's

20:28

a Frenchman but he lives in la

20:31

and his recent video just got over

20:33

eighteen million views. That's

20:35

a lot viral. This was

20:38

huge And here's how it starts. He

20:40

still he

20:42

can It

20:46

was Jesus. Oh, it

20:50

was an absolute Jesus. Alexis

20:55

apparently he doesn't want to take America. That's that's

20:58

not true, not that he doesn't want

21:00

to date Americans. This particular one was

21:02

bad though. I'll tell you a picture of Ranan.

21:05

He's a he's a good looking French guy. Oh

21:07

god, he's a movie model

21:09

actor. She's beautiful,

21:14

have the perfect amount of chest hair too. Some

21:17

say he looks like a young me. No,

21:19

no, no. Lock Nest

21:21

said that I heard her maybe

21:24

she was leaking from underneath the water. But

21:27

his date was with an American woman

21:29

named Kimberly. Good job, Kimberly.

21:31

Now why was it such a disaster. I'll

21:34

let Ranan explain about

21:36

name is kim Kim.

21:40

It's not my favorite name. But it's fine. It's

21:42

fine. You don't speaking, you know.

21:44

So we sit down and we take the menu,

21:46

and and she looks need guys,

21:48

and she doesn't. She doesn't seeks cuting. No,

21:56

how can you? Dennis?

22:01

It's awesome, Dennis

22:04

is buggett? Can you? I'm

22:07

starting to be concerned and then I'm like, okay, I'm gonna

22:10

have some bless of wine. You know, so when

22:12

you want to drink, and she says me, she doesn't drink alcoholic

22:19

drink alcohol in your life. Alcohol

22:23

is joy. Luva

22:27

is the joy. I

22:31

find him so bid. You

22:34

heard him, Brooke, Louva is

22:37

the joy. You're right, Joy.

22:40

I mean I say it and it sounds like

22:42

more like an alcoholic Yeah, and

22:45

it's sexy. Oh my

22:47

god, he's right, you

22:51

guys. My best friend told me the other day that she's

22:53

now gluten free and it broke it literally

22:56

broke my heart. Oh no, man,

23:00

somehow the French people know how to like make

23:02

judging others sound cultural and

23:05

fancy. He can talk, he wants so

23:09

nand admits after that he got up and left

23:11

the restaurant without saying goodbye. Quote,

23:14

I couldn't stay there. I'm sorry, but I

23:17

can't have a love relationship with someone who

23:19

doesn't eat gluten and doesn't drink wine.

23:22

And he ended by saying I am

23:24

solt you can believe. And of

23:26

course lots of comments came in on

23:28

this. One person said, gluten is

23:31

croissant. That's my new phrase

23:33

for every moment of disbelief in

23:35

my life. That's

23:41

a TikTok click shot. That's

23:43

maybe my favorite of all. He deserves to

23:45

be viral. Yeah, absolutely, your

23:47

next TikTok click shot is

23:50

from a forty one year old man in Kentucky

23:52

named Josh. Now, Okay, I'm sure we're

23:55

going from France to Kentucky on this one.

24:00

But Josh has a TikTok called at

24:02

Living Dead Josh where every

24:05

single day for over a year now, he's posted

24:07

a video of himself pretending to be dead

24:11

down exactly lie face down,

24:14

completely motionless, in all sorts of different

24:16

places. He does it like next to a river,

24:18

across a hiking trail in the woods,

24:21

actual places, just

24:26

just freshly dead. And why is he doing

24:28

this? Josh says, quote, I figured

24:31

that was the easiest way I could actually

24:33

get on a TV show or a movie without

24:35

actually having to audition or move out

24:37

of Kentucky. He just wants

24:39

to play a dead person on TV. He's like really

24:42

shooting for CSI exactly literally

24:44

every video says day number whatever

24:46

of playing un alive until I'm casting

24:48

a movie or TV show has an unlive

24:51

body, you got

24:53

into the hundreds and turns out playing

24:55

dead isn't as easy as it sounds.

24:57

Real. Wow, I think this is true.

24:59

I have an actor friend the same thing, because in his early

25:02

videos you can see his chest moving and

25:04

other involuntary motions that give

25:06

away his aliveness. Put

25:10

his tongue out, you know, like what do So

25:14

he had to teach himself and learn how to gain

25:16

better control over his breathing and over subtle

25:18

movements. And finally, after hundreds

25:21

and hundreds of videos, Josh

25:23

got the call that he was waiting for from an

25:26

actual Hollywood casting director who

25:29

was murdered by He was flown out to la

25:32

to appear in an episode of CSI

25:34

Vegas where he'll play the

25:37

role of quote unspecified

25:39

dead person. Here

25:42

he is, he's there. He is as

25:44

a cadaver being operated on.

25:46

Oh guy, this is like your

25:49

dreams are You're never too old for your dreams.

25:51

Now. After all of his word Josh

25:53

also seems to be unbothered by the actual

25:56

idea of death too. Quote I

25:58

can face death and not really have to worry

26:00

about it because you know, I've seen myself dead so many

26:02

times. It's actually a good way to process it.

26:04

Man. Maybe I start doing that. Maybe it's gonna be kind

26:07

of worrisome for his family if they come up

26:09

on him and he's actually in like cardiac arrest

26:11

or something. Didn't just do it another video.

26:17

I think Gluten's croissants on that. One story

26:23

for the day. Your phone TAP's coming up next

26:26

Broke and Jeffrey in the morning. How

26:28

would you feel if you bought a house and

26:30

then found out a very famous

26:32

historical figure was linked to it, that

26:37

they didn't live there, but they did

26:40

stop off for a visit once, and

26:42

now you can't make any upgrades

26:45

or renovations to it ever because the city's

26:47

making it into a historical landmark. Oh

26:49

no, no, wait a minute, that's

26:51

what we tell one guy, and we made up

26:53

a huge backstory that's

26:56

gonna live on in history forever,

26:58

even though it's kind of made up as a phone tap.

27:01

Right now the

27:04

twenties, whoa,

27:08

Hello, Am I speaking with Mark care Yeah?

27:12

Who's this? This is Judy from the

27:14

City of Development Services. Your

27:16

contractor dropped off the plan to renovate

27:18

your home for the permitting process. Oh

27:21

yeah, yeah, good cool. Well,

27:24

unfortunately I don't think it's

27:26

going to happen. Why

27:29

what Yeah, I

27:32

looked up the records and I see you just

27:34

purchased that house two years ago, and I'm

27:36

not sure that they told you. But former

27:39

US President George W. Bush

27:41

took a twuzie in one of your bathrooms. Cool,

27:45

what a tusie? Did

27:47

you know that? No? But

27:50

what's this have to do with my

27:53

renovations? Well, because

27:55

a president cut the rope on your property. The town has

27:57

declared it historical landmark. What

28:00

you cave? What? Because

28:03

we took a crap in my toilet? It's a historical

28:05

landmark. Yeah. Apparently he was making

28:07

a speech back in town in two thousand and two and on the

28:09

way to the airport he ate a bad

28:12

donut. Lucky you had to stop off

28:14

at your property. There's

28:16

no luck. Even this is unlucky

28:18

me from what you're saying. Well, now you're

28:20

not allowed to renovate the house or paint it differently.

28:23

You really can't do anything to it. I'm

28:25

gonna do whatever I want. It's my property.

28:28

Nope, not allowed. They just did the vote last

28:30

month. What vote? Who's they what vote?

28:33

Planning and zoning? Thank you? And they said

28:35

they sent some emails, but a lot of times they go

28:37

to spam folders, so well, may

28:39

want to check that. Can I appeal

28:41

this thing? You're not gonna want to after

28:44

I tell you the good news. I highly

28:46

doubt that. Oh, listen, you're

28:48

actually about to become kind of famous,

28:51

or at least your houses. I

28:53

don't want to be famous. I just want my damn

28:56

second floor. No, you need to hear me out. The

28:58

city has actually ear marked. Oh I

29:01

can't believe it. Some money for marketing

29:03

to promote the infamous toilet where George

29:05

w filled the peanut butter jar. Build

29:08

the peanut butter jar. Why do you keep referring

29:10

to this is weird? Stot? Well, how

29:13

is this an? I think

29:15

you know what I'm trying to say. But you're going to be

29:17

number three on the local tourist hot spot chart.

29:19

Personally, I think you should have been number two. I

29:21

mean, honestly, do you get it? Number

29:24

two? No? Yeah, I get

29:26

it. But this can't be happening. This

29:28

is important that they don't make national landmarks

29:31

out of everywhere a presence taking a car. I

29:33

hear that you sound upset, and I just think you're not

29:36

mad. I'm right, I found up that. Well,

29:38

I'm just trying to help you see the bigger pictures, not

29:40

helping. There's no big picture. Someone

29:42

took a crap in my toilet and I can't renovate

29:45

my house. Are you kidding?

29:47

Me. That is not just a toilet. It is

29:49

a place where some famous person laid

29:51

a brick. Can you please

29:53

stop making those euphemisms. I'm

29:56

just trying to tell you. I'm trying to tell you

29:58

it creates a sense of culture and me meaning

30:00

in the neighborhood. Oh, meaning you're

30:02

talking about her? What's wrong with you? I

30:04

mean personally, I think it's more important than Saint John's

30:06

cathedral in the town over. No world

30:09

leaders ever dropped off any timber there. I'll tell

30:11

you that that's like your nine

30:13

different euphemism for going

30:15

to the bathroom. Is this what should do all day?

30:17

Instead of approving my housing application? Well,

30:20

I was hoping they were going to ask me to be on the marketing

30:22

board, but they didn't. So early

30:24

next week we'll be putting up the billboards,

30:27

billboards for what they have our

30:29

special presidential poop logo

30:32

with arrows directing the tourists to your house

30:34

and hopefully with your permission.

30:36

Listen, listen, no, no permission,

30:39

No photo opportunities with the toilet.

30:41

There will be I swear there will be boss

30:44

suits. I did not approve any of this. You have no

30:46

right to do this, Okay, are you upset because

30:48

you think you have to take photos of yourself. I mean, your

30:50

friend Dan said that you would putting

30:53

my home. I don't think you heard

30:55

me. Your friend Dan is going to be the one taking

30:57

the photos in the bathroom, not you. I

31:00

don't care who's taking the photos. I don't want

31:02

any photos in my bath You're still not getting it, I'm

31:04

saying your friend Dan because this is actually a phone

31:06

tap. It's just a prank. Mane

31:08

Brooke from Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. What

31:12

Yeah, it's a joke. Your friend Dance

31:14

and even waiting weeks for your renovation plans

31:16

to get it approved and pull a joke

31:18

on you. Oh my god, little

31:21

bathroom here this morning, you know, wake

31:23

you up on the good side of ben Wow. Historical

31:27

landmark for a president going

31:29

in a bathroom. I ever

31:31

heard of atter being an actual thing? You

31:33

know? I did ride up the presidential poop logo.

31:36

It's pretty sweet. You want to buy a T

31:38

shirt? I think you owe me two

31:40

for free. Weak

31:43

up every morning with phone tap weekday

31:45

mornings on the twenties Broke and Jeffrey

31:48

in the morning, it's almost time for your

31:50

second day update and over the years,

31:52

we've dealt with a few people who were clearly

31:56

not happy with us by the end of the call.

31:58

Yeah, yeah, they'll crash our

32:00

show and say we sound low budget,

32:02

which you know, to be fair, that's

32:05

true. How do we argue that one we're definitely not high

32:07

budget. They've lashed out

32:09

at Brooke, calling her a joyless, out

32:11

of touch grump, which again fair assessment.

32:15

I'm not okay with it. I don't think that's cool,

32:18

but it is fair Brook. We have to admit

32:20

that. But today

32:22

was a first when the person on the phone was

32:24

so frustrated with how the call went

32:27

and we had nothing to do with it, but

32:29

he said something mean about us that

32:32

I don't think is ever gonna be topped.

32:34

Ever, how did

32:36

we get to that point? You're gonna find out

32:39

in a brand new second Date update,

32:41

next second Date Update.

32:46

I think a question a lot of guys asked

32:48

themselves while they're on a first date

32:50

besides what's her name again, is how

32:53

do I get this girl out alone

32:56

into the woods where it's just

32:59

the two of us nobody else. Oh gosh,

33:02

Jeffrey, No, not you guys, I mean

33:04

maybe men that should be imprisoned us that

33:06

question. Well, listener,

33:10

Scott who asked us for help today?

33:13

Did that? What Scott? And we

33:15

do? We need to do a welfare check. He actually

33:17

made it happen and apparently had a really

33:19

nice time. Scott, Welcome to the show. She went

33:22

to the woods. Yeah, guys,

33:24

good morning, I'm learning good Okay, good morning.

33:26

I apologize for the skepticism on

33:29

the other half of the room right now. I am one hundred

33:31

percent on board with you, Scott. So

33:33

creepy, Jeffrey, I sounded

33:35

romantic in my head. Okay,

33:38

maybe Scott can paint a better picture than I did,

33:40

Scott, tell us, tell us about the girl that you met.

33:43

What's her name? Pure? Sure? So

33:45

her name is Tara, and I met her

33:48

on one of the dating apps. Okay, you didn't say

33:50

was so that's a good sign of okay,

33:54

yeah, no, no, And I'm not sure if you guys are on them. A lot

33:56

of ladies are into hiking these days,

33:59

yell, at

34:02

least they say they're into hiking. I don't think any of them

34:04

actually would go out and do it. No, yeah,

34:06

you pick them? Yeah, So did you

34:08

guys go hiking? Yeah? And so a little

34:10

bit of a backstory about me. I was a boy scout, so,

34:12

like I really am into outdoors and

34:15

all that stuff more than the well

34:18

two fingers salute to you, sir. Yeah,

34:20

that sounds freeby, but that's what they do. That's what they

34:22

do, right, it's two fingers. I think it's three. Oh is

34:24

it three? Now? Yeah? However many fingers it takes,

34:27

Scott, We're yeah, we're happy.

34:29

So what did you do to get tear out to the

34:31

woods? So, you know, when you're on the dating

34:34

apps, you're able to look at their social media. So I saw

34:36

a pick of her hiking and she was at

34:38

the huge mountain, which I knew of,

34:41

and so I was intrigued. And so

34:43

that was like the start of the conversation and I kind of just kind

34:45

of took off to there and it was great. You

34:47

know. That was the first day, was me inviting

34:49

her for a hike. And that's

34:52

how you know someone really is into hiking,

34:54

Like would you can just look at the picture and go, I

34:56

know that hike or I know that trail? Yeah,

34:58

that's how you know you're really So the question

35:01

is did you come prepared on the hike with snacks

35:03

and or a beverage? I

35:06

actually just brought oranges. Oh not

35:09

even on crustable. I

35:13

mean it is kind of nice to like get to your

35:15

destination at the end to have kind of

35:17

a spread, yeah, or just for cramping,

35:20

right, sure,

35:22

I mean, what were the highlights for you in Tara? So

35:25

I picked her up in the city and we started

35:28

our way and oh, you guys drove together. Yep.

35:31

All right, Well that's a really good sign. That's

35:33

with that much trusting to you on the first meeting. So how

35:35

did it go? So it went? I thought,

35:38

okay, um, it went a little different

35:40

than I originally thought it would go. Um.

35:43

On the way there, I told a real quick

35:46

debt, I have a cabin actually in the

35:48

vicinity of the place. Look,

35:50

I didn't want to be too aggressive about the

35:52

cabin thing. I just kind of mentioned, hey, I have a

35:54

cabin north of where we're going to hike,

35:58

and that's always no one's kind of an arm word thing

36:00

to say. By the way, I have a cabin nearby,

36:02

because that's normally

36:04

as it's a brag that you have a cabin. But if

36:06

it's like your trail, i'd be excited

36:09

about it. Random man invited you to a

36:11

cabin in the woods. I'm

36:14

already. I'm already in the car with him.

36:16

I mean, I have some trust level with him.

36:18

Interesting. So you didn't like it when I brought it up

36:21

in the intro, But now that we're

36:23

just talking about it casually, when you said

36:25

it sounded creepy. When he said it, it sounded

36:27

cozy. Oh. If I said, oh, you want

36:30

to compost your own waist out in the woods,

36:32

then you would be all about it. Oh, our cabin

36:34

does have a compost. I know you won't

36:36

shut up about it. But Scott,

36:39

so I'm sorry, tell us more about your your

36:41

cabin out in the woods. Yeah. What was her reaction?

36:44

She was interested. She was like, oh, it's interesting.

36:46

Let's maybe head up there and take a look at it. Okay,

36:49

you're not going to stay long. You only brought oranges, so

36:52

well, presumably he has food and stuff

36:54

at the cabin, right, Yeah, you don't keep you

36:57

don't know. No, I did have to snacks up

36:59

there, like some can goods, beans and a

37:01

little bit of beer. Not much. But it

37:06

was a hot first date. Okay,

37:10

so we get there, have a few drinks. We actually

37:13

hung out on the porch, talked about, you know,

37:15

her family, a little bit and it's actually nice.

37:17

It started to get dark, and I didn't

37:19

want to stay there too late because you know, obviously if

37:21

it gets dark, you don't want to be kind of you know, hey, we

37:23

should leave or now it could turn

37:25

in those situations, so you wouldn't. What's

37:29

the other situation? You want

37:31

to be respectful, right, you don't want tom like, hey, well look at

37:33

the time, you know what I mean, Like you want to have her come

37:36

back. Sorry, it sounded like a bad thing that you

37:38

were talking about. And it's

37:44

that warm beard breath out of here. Okay, so

37:46

we're getting out of there. We have a good time. I really

37:48

think she enjoyed the cabin. I was pretty

37:50

confident I was gonna get a kiss, because like that was

37:52

the nas where the flow was going. Yeah, you spent

37:55

all day together. That's not great,

37:57

and I'm gonna drive back. I'm like, hey, we should do this again.

37:59

But and I really couldn't tell if

38:02

she wanted it again or she wanted

38:04

to maybe even meet up again. Yeah, but maybe

38:06

it's for the best that you guys didn't have a kiss

38:09

after tuna and beer. I don't know how good

38:11

of a kiss it would have been. If

38:14

you both ate the same thing, You're good, Jeff.

38:16

You know I

38:19

forever want to go to your It

38:22

just sounds worse worse anyway.

38:29

So how long has it been since you since

38:31

you last saw Tara? It's

38:33

been h six days, six

38:35

days, six d Did

38:37

you try for a kiss at the end? And no,

38:40

I didn't try for it? Okay, again, I don't

38:42

want to be aggressive, but okay, okay, all

38:45

right, Well now we're going to be aggressive when we play

38:48

a song come back and call Tara and we

38:50

asked her why she didn't want to kiss you at

38:52

the end of your romantic Kevin in the Woods. We'll

38:57

ask her a lot of questions and we'll

38:59

figure those album. We do it right after this, all

39:01

right, Scott, Yeah, all right. You

39:07

know I could have come in with this segment

39:10

using some creepy, deep, dark,

39:12

foresty music, but I'm

39:14

not going to do that. I'm playing Zippity

39:16

Duda because it's a happy day

39:18

to be alone in the woods on a first

39:20

date, drinking warm beers and eating

39:22

tuna straight out of you can. I

39:25

think it could. It's actually it could be really

39:27

romantic. Yeah, And I think it was, because

39:29

that's what Scott did when he met up with

39:31

Tara for their first date. One can

39:34

of tuna, two spoons, and

39:36

we're hoping that sounds like a really bad

39:38

video. Maybe a

39:41

lifetime of happiness together.

39:44

Now, Scott, before we call Tara, my producer

39:47

said that you mentioned in your email something

39:49

that happened that you thought maybe

39:52

she could have taken the wrong way. Oh wait, we didn't talk

39:54

about this before. Yeah, I guess we missed it. Did

39:56

something happen? Yeah, I don't

39:58

think it's thing of it, But I had a dear

40:00

head in the cabin, okay, Like

40:03

it's one of those funny things like I don't even

40:05

hunt, it's this kind of thing I just bought, kind

40:07

of add the ambiance. Yeah,

40:10

okay. Maybe I

40:12

don't know. Maybe she was taken back by that. That's

40:15

why I haven't heard. I don't know. That's my only

40:17

thought though. Well, a

40:20

girl that's gonna tune out of a can isn't going to

40:22

carry as

40:24

long as it's not like freshly severed

40:27

and it's like fully taxidermied already

40:29

like you, it was fully prepared right heads

40:31

on the wall of the bodies and the girl. I

40:38

mean, yeah, I bought it off Amazon so definitely

40:42

didn't you kill it yourself. Maybe that's why she's

40:44

unimpressed. I don't think

40:46

that has anything to do with it. Well, let's find out.

40:48

We're gonna call TERR right now. We'll see what she has to

40:50

say. Here we go, Scott, You're ready, Yeah,

40:52

I'm ready. All right, let's do this. Hello.

41:03

Hey is this Tarah? Yeah?

41:07

Who's it? Hey? Tara? You're on the

41:09

radio right now with Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning. Hey,

41:11

Tara, Hey, wait

41:14

what are we doing right now? Oh? Sorry,

41:16

we're we're doing something called a second date

41:18

update. I forgot to the sound effect. Um, Jose, do

41:20

the sound effect. Yeah, it's Brooke and Jeffrey

41:23

in the morning, like

41:26

a radio sound effect. Like, yeah,

41:30

we're kind of a low budget radio station. If

41:32

you couldn't tell Tara lasers Okay,

41:36

I don't believe you laughed at that. I just

41:40

yeah, we're a wacky morning

41:43

show and something we do on the show is called

41:45

a second date update, and we're

41:47

hoping to reconnect you with one of our listeners that

41:49

you went out with recently, named Scott. Oh

41:52

God, oh god,

41:55

that's not a good one. I

41:58

actually didn't think people like God

42:00

existed, but he definitely groves me wrong

42:03

and heroic chivalrous men,

42:06

because yes, they do still exist. I

42:08

don't think that's what she meant. What do

42:10

you what do you mean by that? I'll

42:13

give it. He's chivalrous. And he

42:15

asked me to see his cabin. It was like super

42:17

coldy and cute. It's the one bedroom,

42:20

he asked. We didn't hear that. He

42:22

asked you. He said that you're the one that brought

42:24

it up. It was your idea to go see the cabin. Yeah,

42:27

I guess that's right. I was the one who asked

42:29

to see it. And if it was like near we're hiking,

42:32

it was something I just wanted to see. Yeah,

42:34

sounds fun. He sounds cool. He mentioned

42:36

that to us, and that he even offered you some

42:39

cans of tuna and warm beer. Yeah,

42:44

we were just hanging out having fun and like sabers

42:47

and tuna. I mean it was just

42:49

really rugged and cool. So oh

42:51

you did think it was cool. Okay, you're

42:54

saying, where did it go wrong? Yeah? We were worried

42:56

about that. Ah, well, sky

42:58

has a fallout shelter. What

43:02

last thing? Oh my god, like a built

43:04

in bunker in this cabin. No,

43:08

he's one of those like end of Days preppers.

43:13

Yeah, he's a doomsday prepper.

43:16

No, why would you think that just because

43:18

he has a shelter. He showed me

43:21

what it was. I mean I didn't

43:23

think he was scary. I thought he was like a really

43:25

like good guy. And then he lifts

43:27

this hatch and we walked down this staircase

43:30

and like I followed him down, like

43:32

thinking, Okay, this is a little weird, but oh, it's

43:35

inside of his cabin with the secret.

43:38

Oh yeah,

43:43

anytime there's a hatch opening, I wouldn't follow

43:45

anyone down. What was down there? Was it

43:47

just law of Tuna paradise?

43:51

Downstairs? It

43:57

was packed wall to wall with can goods

43:59

and water. I mean, this is like legit.

44:02

It was really packed in there. Okay, so look,

44:04

I don't want to be I don't know anything about doomsday

44:07

preppers, but isn't that prepared

44:10

now? It just depends like

44:12

why does he think the world is going to end? Because I'm going

44:14

to tell you there's all sorts of conspiracy

44:16

theories that float around these type of people.

44:19

That's what you're working. Brooks forwarded me the Facebook

44:21

links today from

44:23

the Land of like mountain

44:26

crazy preppers. I really okay,

44:30

what was he telling you, Tara? I

44:32

mean, he's definitely read too many conspiracy

44:35

theories. He's telling me he's

44:38

going to be ready for his zombie of populary.

44:43

Well not yet, Yeah, no I have I

44:47

haven't read the articles. I just read the headlines

44:49

and then make a sumption. I

44:52

had a friend's dad who is certain that the aliens

44:55

were going to come destroy our crops and then mate

44:57

with the rest of us. I

44:59

don't know why he wanted to live through that, but Tara,

45:02

you're not interested in surviving the zombie

45:05

apod. No. After

45:07

he said that, he just officially

45:10

lost me there. And there's no way he was joking

45:12

about zombies. Like maybe

45:15

he was, like really nuclear war, but he doesn't

45:17

want to bring it up because that's depressed. That's a good point,

45:20

you know what. We should actually ask him that right

45:22

now, because I didn't mention this to you, Tara. But

45:25

Scott's been on the other line listening this entire

45:27

time, and he wants to talk. Oh my god, yeah

45:31

god, Scott. Um.

45:33

By the way, Tara, real quick, why

45:35

did you give away my location? This is a shelter

45:39

supposed to be no one

45:42

knows about it. Well, we don't

45:44

know where your cabin is. And

45:47

why are you taking a stranger to the bunker? How

45:50

do you trust her? I'm not going to be answering

45:52

any of your questions. Okay, I'm talking right

45:54

now, and I have you know you got me kind

45:56

of reclimped And is

46:00

I am not a crazy doomed

46:02

day or prepper like, look at

46:04

the end is near. We all know that. I think we can

46:06

all. I don't

46:08

think it. I

46:12

totally get this guy. It's so good that you're

46:15

prepared and you want to

46:17

like help other people prepare. But I

46:19

mean, just like our discussion about

46:21

repopulating the earth, it

46:24

is the populate. It's just like on a

46:27

birthday. It's just a little too much. I

46:30

only brought it up because it is a reality.

46:33

I think. I think it's

46:35

kind of romantic. Out

46:38

of all the women in this world that I would

46:41

repopulate the world with, he

46:43

chose Tara if

46:47

you were the last person in the world. Dude,

46:49

Tara has been incredibly open

46:51

and understanding up until the repopulation.

46:54

I mean, right, Tara, can you not see

46:56

the romance in it? There's nothing romantic

46:58

about being called like, your biological purpose

47:01

at this point in life is to repopulate

47:03

after zombies, after the undead.

47:05

Undid you there is going to be an apocalyptic

47:08

event happening. I see stories all the

47:10

time. I want to be prepared, and so what's

47:12

what's logical about zombies? Yeah, the zombies

47:15

is where you're losing. I like,

47:17

it's not gonna be like in the movies type stuff,

47:19

but it's gonna be people walking around, you know,

47:21

and their gore and and just eating

47:23

other people. It could so

47:26

they don't work like movie zombies, but they're still

47:29

eating peat clothes. I'm

47:32

actually kind of looking forward to that. It's how better than

47:34

what we're dealing with right now. Okay,

47:36

if you guys will want to be prepared for this, I totally understand.

47:38

Yeah, I'll be in my shelter listening to my podcast

47:40

and reading my magazines. I

47:44

thought for sure you'd be on a hammer radio. I really

47:47

want to go some high tech stuff. You gotta

47:49

keep laughing while your radio station burns

47:51

to the ground and people eat you. I'll be hanging

47:53

out. Oh wow, that's

47:56

not how you

48:00

first time. I'll tell you they're not coming

48:02

for our brains out

48:05

of all of us in this room, who would be the most eatable?

48:08

I think I

48:11

just checked. I'm like almost thirty percent body fat.

48:14

Jose gets winded after taking like twenty steps.

48:16

He's definitely the first to go get

48:19

more food. But you

48:21

know what, I'm sorry, I want the two of you. I

48:23

want the two of you. Two. I really never should have reached

48:26

out to you. Moron. Obviously you're having a

48:28

laugh on me. But I'm the one prepared. So we'll

48:30

see how this actually turns out. All right, Scott,

48:32

we get it, and make sure you go listen to our podcast

48:34

where you can find Scott's bunker coordinates

48:39

at Brooke and Jeffrey private information,

48:42

private information which we will give out for free

48:45

on our podcast. Thank you, Scott, Brookie,

48:47

Jeffrey in the morning. I'm not gonna lie. I

48:49

had a really good time recording that did

48:51

two. Yeah, like that was that

48:54

was kind of fun, even though Scott was obviously

48:56

really animated and not happy with us. Yea,

48:59

I will say Brooke did approach our producer

49:01

after it was over and ask for his email,

49:04

wondering if there's an extra space in that bunker.

49:08

I'm going to tell you this is why I don't want

49:11

to survive. If the repopulation is

49:13

happening with people like Brook,

49:15

you don't have to be shy. I know what

49:17

you really want, if you want tuna

49:20

for life. Yeah, I can see

49:22

him and Park on the shelter. He's like, hey, you

49:24

go finish that canna Tuna. I'm gonna go off. I think I heard

49:26

his Zombi video. I

49:29

honestly, I can't wait until zombies raided

49:31

this station and and they make

49:33

us one of them, and then we all march up to

49:35

his cabin together and eat his brain as

49:38

a show. Dude jokes on him. I forgot

49:40

we're going to turn into zombie Yes, zombie

49:44

radio. Would we'd be like the number one? Yeah? Yeah,

49:51

tag team goals, that's what we are. I'm

49:54

looking forward to that day in that broadcast.

49:57

But until then, you can always email the show.

49:59

We'll call the person who wasn't calling you back Brook

50:02

and Jeffrey in the morning. Well,

50:05

guys, I think I need to get a new

50:07

talent agent. Really really why

50:10

because I'm not sure if you heard, but my close

50:12

competitor and possible real

50:15

dad, weird Al Yankovic. Oh,

50:20

I mean my mom did work with He

50:24

also writes parody songs. Yeah,

50:27

and I've heard he's doing pretty well for

50:29

himself. Well yeah, the guys Worth millions a

50:31

movie about him coming exactly

50:34

brook. His agent got him a deal

50:36

to make a satire biopic of

50:38

his life played by real A

50:41

list stars where he's

50:43

like this big rock star and

50:45

they even pretend he sleeps with Madonna.

50:48

I'm just so cool, it doesn't Daniel?

50:51

Yes? Yeah? Meanwhile,

50:54

what does my agent get me a

50:57

twenty minute appearance at the local senior center

50:59

on couples sponge bath? N that's

51:03

your favorite night? I'm

51:06

just sponging. Most

51:09

action I got was with Glinda and

51:11

her one good hip. So yes,

51:17

that's a good way to look at it. Thanks Jay. But until

51:19

my agent gets me a better gig, I'm

51:22

just gonna be stuck here singing another parody

51:25

song, new

51:28

song of the week coming at a song

51:31

of the week time, and today I have

51:33

to address a cultural phenomenon

51:35

that's captivated the world over the

51:38

last two decades. Before

51:40

you get there, can I quickly address that you're dressed

51:42

up like Harry Potterly, Okay,

51:44

you don't really do the world costume on Halloween?

51:48

Okay, thanks for ruining it. I was gonna say,

51:50

I'm singing about the wizarding world of Harry Potter. You

51:54

got glasses, you gets a scarf. The

51:56

listeners can't see that, though, I

51:59

was gonna surprise them with it. But yeah,

52:02

Harry Potter cultural phenomenon,

52:04

because back in November

52:07

two thousand and one, that was when

52:09

the very first Harry Potter movie

52:12

hit theaters and it was

52:15

epic. Oh my god. Yeah, if

52:17

this song is going to have spoilers, I know that everybody

52:19

else knows what happened. But I just finished

52:21

the second to last, like book six. Ye,

52:24

I'm not going to spoil anything about the stories

52:26

themselves. I'm just talking about the

52:28

whole experience. We loved it because

52:32

it gave us this magical fantasy

52:34

world that we could all escape to. Then

52:36

it's got everything. It has big castles,

52:39

broom sports, evil

52:42

bald guys, nerdy

52:44

kids reading big books, and

52:48

the best thing of all, young

52:50

love. Yeah,

52:54

you guys, remember when you were going to school

52:56

and those weird feelings you felt

52:58

for your classmate as they did

53:01

one and a half chin ups on the pull up bar.

53:03

Yeah,

53:08

you know that the students at Hogwarts felt

53:10

those same feelings. Oh

53:13

yeah, it's in the book. Ye

53:16

they were acting on their urges right there

53:18

in the corridor. There

53:21

is one type of young love at Hogwarts

53:24

that's kind of frowned upon. What I'm

53:26

talking about, muggle love. And

53:30

if you're not a potter Head and you don't know what a muggle

53:32

is, it's basically any non magical

53:35

person. Yeah, and you can have muggle parents

53:37

but also be magic. But there's

53:39

a lot of you know, conservative wizards out

53:41

there who think nothing is naughtier than

53:43

a wizard lusting after a muggle. Yea,

53:46

yeah, that love be love,

53:48

man, because they don't get in the world.

53:50

You know what happened, and I don't

53:53

think those people should be ashamed about

53:55

it, absolutely, so I thought

53:57

it who they love? I needed to write

53:59

a song. Were all those curious

54:01

little wizards at Hogwarts who were

54:03

secretly crushing on that weird muggle

54:06

kid. Was

54:08

wrong, but at the same time it felt

54:10

so right. And

54:13

that's why instead of singing Taylor Swift

54:15

song, I knew you were trouble. It's

54:18

young Jeffreys. I knew you were Muggle.

54:23

All right. I'm gonna point when I'm

54:25

ready points.

54:31

Once upon a time I went to wizard

54:33

school where houses were assigned and

54:35

scarves are really cool. Saw

54:38

in herbology with daw

54:41

e e e e. There's candles

54:44

in the air and romance in the halls.

54:46

Now Myrtle's not alone. While moaning

54:48

in the stalls, were snogging

54:51

and snogging glasses fog.

54:57

You're a huhful puff.

55:00

That's okay with me

55:03

till I readalize

55:06

your blood was unclean because

55:08

I knew you were Muggle when

55:10

you walked in, and

55:13

you couldn't cast no spells.

55:15

But then you brewed a love potion,

55:18

and now I'm stage five house elf.

55:21

Malfoy says Nick's loving is

55:23

forbidden, but

55:25

I can't control my wand

55:27

made magic with a non magician

55:31

shouting lumos because you turned me on.

55:34

Who oh struggles

55:38

dating muggles, Oh

55:42

oh, muggle cuddles,

55:45

snuggles slither in my dorm,

55:47

so we horecrucks and chill. I'm full

55:49

patrificus and I didn't need the

55:51

pill. I'm rolling and

55:53

howling JK ralling.

55:56

It ain't Naghini's

55:58

gonna snake and Ape is gonna sneer,

56:01

But we're just gonna snog while drunkn

56:03

butter beer. You charm me, disarm

56:06

me, expelly yarmy. You're

56:12

the no match for me,

56:14

and I know that it's

56:17

true. My patrone, it's

56:19

chark will shape like you.

56:23

I knew you were Muggle when

56:25

you walked down. I felt

56:27

it in my lightning scar still

56:30

chased you around like a golden snag.

56:33

You akey old my heart. Oh,

56:35

I knew dad be trouble muggle

56:38

love man, so we'd

56:40

meet up a school grounds,

56:42

gave you a ride. I'm up room

56:44

stand in the forest

56:47

behind Hagrid's house. Whoa,

56:50

oh secret Muggle

56:53

couple. Oh oh

56:58

wizard tinders awful

57:00

in a stumble door, came

57:03

a limping in, trying

57:06

to wand block me. Just

57:09

no, I do ba cadabra

57:12

him for you. I

57:15

know you were Muggle and you walked

57:17

in and on those moving

57:20

stairs, we felt like Dean mentors.

57:22

They sucking until

57:25

we got it spelled. Aha

57:28

love goods. No good at loving this

57:31

because our magic's cancel out.

57:33

I crave your plain human simpleness.

57:37

How booty call you with a late night

57:39

owl struggles

57:44

dating Muggles? Whoa,

57:48

oh muggles,

57:50

double trouble human

57:52

girl. You're my one and only which

57:56

muggle Nuzzle, Gruzzle, Living

57:59

Painting are at us while we cast

58:02

Muggle Muggle Muggle. Yeah,

58:10

so, if you

58:12

don't know the Harry Potter books at all, then this

58:14

song was total nonsense. I don't

58:16

blame you for that. It's okay. You don't have to like it.

58:19

But if you know, you know, if

58:21

you know, you know, so text into seventy five nine two

58:24

and tell us what you thought about this song. We're gonna post

58:26

the video up on our TikTok and on our Instagram

58:28

and Facebook. We'll have all the lyrics at Brooke and Jeffrey

58:31

my Muggle heart hearts it now.

58:33

Okay, Broke

58:35

and Jeffrey. In the morning, I

58:38

got a text into seven eighty five nine two that says,

58:40

perfect way to end the week. You started

58:43

being Harry Potter on Monday for Halloween and

58:45

finished it on Friday by dressing up as

58:47

Harry Potter again. Yeah, couldn't

58:50

you have borrowed Brooks ridiculous hagrid

58:52

costume? That's solid.

58:54

Just felt like when your grandma gets you something

58:57

and it makes you reuse it constantly so it

58:59

doesn't go to way my money's worth. Plus,

59:01

I didn't want to turn everybody on too much

59:03

by wearing the Haggard out. I mean

59:07

I already did that, is what you mean? God,

59:09

But if you missed it. Instead of singing

59:12

Taylor's swift song I Knew You Were Trouble,

59:14

I sang my own version called I Knew You Were

59:16

Muggle to celebrate the anniversary of when

59:18

the first Harry Potter movie was released

59:21

in theaters back in November

59:23

two thousand and one, and also to honor

59:25

the hot, forbidden love that happened between

59:28

wizards and non magical people. Oh

59:30

man, it shouldn't be forbidden honestly, And

59:32

I know we got a lot of texts on this, Brook, what are you

59:34

saying? I like this one? It says is

59:36

it wrong to think that Voltimore was kind of hot

59:38

in a bad boy type of way? O? God,

59:42

can't lee? They like very, very very

59:44

pale people. Well, we'll

59:51

give you credit, young Baltimore. Okay.

59:54

If you liked the song, though, if you missed it, or if you want

59:56

to share it with a fellow Potter head, you go to

59:58

Brook and Jeffrey on TikTok, Facebook,

1:00:00

Insta, or subscribe to our YouTube page.

1:00:02

All of It's at Brooke and Jeffrey and see video

1:00:05

of me and my Harry Potter costume singing

1:00:08

it along with my plainly dressed

1:00:10

co hosts were

1:00:13

Yeah, Yeah, Wizard Brooke

1:00:16

and Jeffrey. In the morning, we

1:00:24

got a first time player on the line today

1:00:26

named Austin from Everett and he

1:00:29

desperately needs this one hundred

1:00:31

dollars because Austin is expecting

1:00:33

his first child in March.

1:00:36

That's so exciting. Is it

1:00:38

exciting? Sorry for putting emotions on it.

1:00:41

Maybe you're not excited about No,

1:00:44

I'm very excited. And

1:00:46

I hear it's supposed to be a baby boy and you haven't

1:00:48

named it yet. Yeah, you don't realize

1:00:51

how many people you hate until you try to name it for

1:00:53

a child. Okay,

1:00:55

I'm sorry, hot take. Don't tell anyone

1:00:57

what you're going to name it until after the kids

1:01:00

name Yeah. I think I think that's the

1:01:02

best plan. Oh no, it's just everybody knows

1:01:04

somebody who is an awful person that is attached

1:01:07

to whatever idea you have. Can I give you

1:01:09

one naming suggestion though? Is

1:01:11

it yours? You call it anything but

1:01:13

jeff? Okay, if you want this

1:01:16

child to be happy and have a successful

1:01:18

life, you will not name it Jeffrey. I promise

1:01:20

me that, Austin, maybe I'll go for Jose. Then

1:01:23

all right, we're gonna send Brook out of the studio.

1:01:25

And while that happens, Austin, you know the game's played. You got thirty

1:01:27

seconds to answer as many questions as possible. If

1:01:29

you don't know when, you could say pass. But you have to beat Brooke

1:01:32

outright to win? Are you ready? Yes? All

1:01:34

right? For one hundred dollars, here we go. Your

1:01:36

time starts now. Today is

1:01:38

King tut day. King Tut became

1:01:40

pharaoh at the very young age of what twelve?

1:01:45

What color moves first in checkers? Red or

1:01:47

black? Black? Louisiana

1:01:50

has what bird on their state flag? What

1:01:55

decade did the first Chipotle open?

1:01:59

Two thousand? The White House is located

1:02:01

on a street named after a state. What is

1:02:03

it? Washington?

1:02:07

The top selling brand of ketchup in America is

1:02:09

Hines? What ranks second? All

1:02:12

right, Well done there, Austin. We're gonna

1:02:14

bring Brook back into the studio. Brooks

1:02:17

having a conversation out in the hallway. That's okay. While

1:02:19

she's coming in, though, Austin will tell us what you

1:02:21

do for a living? I build

1:02:23

industrial sized chargers for

1:02:26

phones, for like forklifts and like other

1:02:28

equipment like that. Wow, I

1:02:30

never think of that. Yeah, you got of

1:02:33

like cool new modern hybrid Tesla

1:02:35

forklifts over there? Uh no,

1:02:38

no, not like that control.

1:02:42

Yeah, with the cool sun roof. Yeah, I'll

1:02:45

tell them we gotta get on that. What

1:02:48

do you like about working there? It's just fun

1:02:50

kind of work with friends. I mean there's only three of us

1:02:52

that build chargers. Do you

1:02:55

guys fight in the forklifts, like drive

1:02:57

them at each other and battle. A

1:03:00

lot of people listening to the radio show, So I'm not

1:03:02

gonna yes,

1:03:06

I help you win. All right, Brooker, it's your

1:03:08

turn? Are you ready? I'm ready? Your time starts now.

1:03:11

Today is King tut Day. King

1:03:13

Tut became Pharaoh at the very young age

1:03:15

of what, oh, got twelve? What

1:03:17

color moves first in Checkers? Red or

1:03:19

black? Cheers? Red?

1:03:22

Louisiana has what bird on their state

1:03:24

flag? Pelican? What

1:03:26

decade did the first Chipotle open?

1:03:29

Nineties? The White House is located

1:03:32

on a street named after a state? What

1:03:34

is it? Washington? The top

1:03:36

selling brand of ketchup in America is

1:03:39

Hines? What ranked second after

1:03:42

Hines? I don't

1:03:44

know. I don't really know. I can't

1:03:46

think of another. Brook. You're going to use a pass for

1:03:49

the first time ever, broke Hutch is

1:03:52

okay, all right, we'll write down Hutch

1:03:54

there's a possible option. We'll see if that's right. When

1:03:56

we go to the scoreboard and see how you both did with

1:03:59

Jose, I want to see. I think

1:04:05

both skate really

1:04:07

bad. Yeah, it doesn't matter if you knock your

1:04:09

teeth out, you don't have him anyway. Austin,

1:04:12

you got two correct? Okay,

1:04:15

Okay, yeah, I

1:04:17

will say Hodge was not correct. You

1:04:22

still got two. And what

1:04:25

I really want, Austin is to drive one of those

1:04:28

four cliffs. Can you get me in there? Uh

1:04:30

yeah, I'll give you my first one number. Whenever you want

1:04:34

license, I'm calling the police. That'd be so cool.

1:04:37

Let's get the answers here for everybody. Today is King Tut

1:04:39

day. King Tut became pharaoh at the very

1:04:41

young age of nine years

1:04:44

old. Rule a

1:04:46

country in a world at any age, any experience.

1:04:48

Yeah, exactly, awesome. You did a great job.

1:04:51

The color that moves first and checkers is black.

1:04:54

Black moves first. Louisiana

1:04:56

has a pelican on their state flag. Chipotle

1:04:59

first. I've been back in the nineteen nineties.

1:05:02

Nineteen ninety three in Denver, I guess

1:05:04

was the first location. The White House

1:05:06

is located on a street named after a

1:05:08

state, Pennsylvania Avenue sixteen

1:05:11

hundred Pennsylvania Avenue, and

1:05:13

top selling Brandon ketchup is Hines ranked

1:05:16

second, not hutch It's Hunts

1:05:19

Hunts Ketchup. I can

1:05:21

only remember the first three. So

1:05:24

Austin, I'm so sorry. Brooke will

1:05:26

not be able to fund anything for your child.

1:05:28

No money to you, but just for

1:05:31

playing, you do win a pair of tickets to see Jonathan

1:05:33

van Ness at the Paramount Theater for his Imaginary

1:05:36

living Room Olympian Tour. Cool

1:05:39

yeah, Siden splitting comedy

1:05:41

and gymnastics combined when the Netflix Breakout

1:05:43

Star comes to the Paramount Theater for one show

1:05:45

only, happening this December ninth.

1:05:48

Wow. So Austin, thank you so much

1:05:50

for playing. Congrats on your upcoming baby

1:05:53

boy, Thank you so much. Happy

1:05:55

for you. We'll be back to do Win Brooks Box same

1:05:57

time tomorrow, brook and Jeffrey

1:05:59

in the morning