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listening. listening. Terms apply. Welcome

1:16

to Coral Classics, I'm your host superfan I'm

1:19

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1:21

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1:25

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the J. More. Check. For the first clip today

1:45

we have today we have Adam Kroll show 68, Teresa Strasser Brian

1:47

again again, that early format format that day and

1:49

a week a week, news format that

1:52

everyone loved so much and craved

1:54

especially in early days of the podcast

1:56

when they're mostly they were one -on -one

1:58

episodes. episodes. primarily aired

2:00

in sequence, but still not the same thing

2:02

as a day-in-day episode like your morning show

2:04

or video so used to. This is Adam

2:06

Koolesho, 68. Hope you guys enjoy. Brian,

2:12

you had your treatment today? I had treatment

2:14

today. I am in week six out of

2:16

six. This is the final week of treatment.

2:19

You had the radiation today? Yes, correct. You

2:21

stopped the chemo? No, the chemo goes till

2:23

the end of the week. And the radiation,

2:25

the chemo runs simultaneously. And is it chemo?

2:28

Sorry, is it radiation every day? Yep. I

2:30

do radiation five days a week, month through

2:32

Friday. At the same time, month to Friday.

2:34

At the same time, every night. How do

2:37

you feel? I feel, it's funny, this is

2:39

the worst I felt symptom-wise, you know what

2:41

I mean? Like I stumble around a lot,

2:43

I get dizzy, and I feel like, trees

2:46

I mention, I'm speaking better, I feel like

2:48

I serve my words worse than I do,

2:50

but psychologically I'm excited for the end of

2:52

treatment, and I feel like really good for

2:55

the end of treatment, and I've got my

2:57

wedding couple weeks, and this is exciting. Yeah,

2:59

your speech sounds fine. You sound better than

3:01

last week. Yes, I think you're walking is

3:03

worse than it was last week. You seem

3:06

a little more deliberate if you saw Brian

3:08

walking as sort of a, I think, older

3:10

guy who just took a shit. Sure. Yeah,

3:12

well maybe like Carl in the movie Up.

3:15

Yes. I have a conservation problems too. Oh

3:17

really. You and me both. It is a

3:19

major side effect. It is of radiation. Yeah.

3:21

Of chemo. Do you want to know what

3:24

I did? Tell me. Yes, I would like

3:26

to know what you did actually. We have

3:28

some similar scented. I would like to know

3:30

very badly when you get it. This is

3:33

so gross. Because remember when I had the

3:35

hemorrhoid originally, because the constipation leads to the

3:37

hemorrhoid, and that's what you want to avoid.

3:39

Yeah, you want to avoid, Dad. Kiwis are

3:42

good, and then the high fiber cereal every

3:44

day. Yeah, in like two weeks. got me

3:46

on a, on a, on a, they had

3:48

me on one laxative, second

3:51

one, then a third

3:53

one. one, And the

3:55

third one, one. And said,

3:57

the doctor said, said, supposed

4:00

to be explosive, to

4:02

I said, I'm waiting

4:04

for that. That would

4:06

be nice. I'm waiting for that,

4:08

It would be nice. nice.

4:11

how It would be nice. Well,

4:13

how, how, how many you put together?

4:15

together? without oh god it's about I'm working on once

4:17

working on three three days,

4:19

but but the it's a misleading

4:21

fact because the once you

4:23

go every three days go not

4:25

is not You know what I

4:27

mean? not talked to you know

4:29

about. I mean yeah I talked to and I

4:31

actually have a couple theories about Dr.

4:33

Drew. I have a couple I know

4:35

he has one is I I know he

4:37

because he always told me. because

4:39

he always told me Here's what I know about

4:42

what I know about Dr.

4:44

Drew. He shits once a

4:46

month and he's covered with

4:48

venereal warts he's told me

4:50

many times like warts, has venereal

4:52

warts, everyone, everyone. in an living

4:54

in an urban center has

4:56

The The person is too hard

4:58

has has it. kept kept everyone

5:00

had it, number one. And

5:02

then number two, two. I've always

5:04

told him I'm as as regular as

5:06

anybody can be. be. I I mean,

5:08

I'm good for three constitutions a

5:10

day, like and he's and he's like. note

5:13

that doesn't doesn't make you any healthier

5:15

than someone that goes three times a

5:17

week. times a I've I've said, I heard that

5:19

if you're really regular that way,

5:21

that was a that was thing. And he

5:23

said, he said, now, that's just just

5:25

your schedule. That's your ass schedule. Healthy

5:27

maybe yes. yes. But yeah, but no different. The

5:30

three times times a week versus

5:32

three times a day according

5:34

to Daru, who I Drew, who

5:36

I now know does times or less

5:38

or week. Well, it's hard to get

5:40

that poop out with those. out you're those. When

5:42

that virus. all that virus. Yeah.

5:44

viral shedding going on every goddamn

5:46

day. on every who's day. the virus

5:49

on the the virus wasn't me! I don't go

5:51

in there because I don't poop don't go in there because

5:53

I don't poop. So, uh, yeah. So, so even if

5:55

it's every few days, I don't

5:57

think it's bad for you. you.

5:59

think, I think. some some point we

6:01

got caught up into this of

6:03

of you had to clean

6:05

yourself out constantly. and you know it makes you

6:07

know know walking sense, a you know,

6:09

walking around like a doesn't seem like a good way to

6:11

seem like a good way to go,

6:14

but evidently you know make any difference. know

6:16

once so you know your own routine,

6:18

so once it gets changed you're like,

6:20

oh, right right, know, dumb off off my schedule, and

6:22

I'm eating the same as I was

6:24

if not more if not so I'm like,

6:26

you know, I should I should be processing

6:28

things faster than is not not

6:30

a good fit Yeah, it's not a good thing.

6:33

good, that bloaty with my symptoms I look at

6:35

it But along clear up in a week or two I

6:37

look at to clear up. I know

6:39

we well, I don't want to drive

6:41

the ass up into the ground But

6:43

I always wondered how a week or two. Well, I

6:46

don't it seems like I can't shit

6:48

So I'm I shove a cork up

6:50

my how this depository worked. Me too. I mean? I

6:52

understand the part where you the some

6:54

where you oil But you you you but

6:56

you some some up your ass when

6:58

you can't take a shit can't seem

7:01

like a great strategy seem there a great

7:03

We Yeah daughter couldn't We my do

7:05

that and kids do that get

7:07

upset really get you know you funny

7:09

because you find them them They're

7:11

somewhere between hitting the toilet kind of

7:13

knowing it's wrong, you know, they're, they're, wearing like their

7:15

or something, but they go stand

7:17

behind things. They sort of hide and

7:19

little, they stand behind like bar stools

7:21

and stuff, and they sort of

7:23

hide behind things, and then they look

7:26

upset, and you were to go are

7:28

you doing just standing there, sort of

7:30

gritting your teeth? it's like, she's

7:32

trying to take a shit, and she

7:34

can't take a shit. and So can't

7:36

trying to, you don't have to treat

7:38

them like dogs. to, you have to

7:40

start to treat into their dogs. Like you have

7:42

to stuff in shit into their

7:44

bottle and start working was

7:46

attempted the suppository was

7:48

was said to have

7:50

popped out again out again.

7:52

then Molly ate it. oh no Molly

7:55

didn't Molly it, but but

7:57

the the thing is I was I was saying

7:59

is, is well they have laxatives for

8:01

kids for kids? like well the

8:03

doctor says if you drink

8:05

some if juice drink some mean

8:07

like a pill that you

8:09

give to a pill like well

8:11

if you eat some like, well,

8:13

if you some I mean No, I mean

8:15

drugs for a a kid break one

8:17

break one in for some. I would

8:19

would love that. Doesn't something something? Yeah. Shit

8:21

stones. Shit stones? Whatever. That's That's

8:23

what I do days. days. That

8:27

is the worst feeling. So you you

8:29

get you get the constant

8:31

I mean, constipation seems to to be

8:33

what you get whenever your is

8:35

thrown off. off. you you

8:37

a curve ball at your colon, it

8:39

it just goes, you know you know

8:41

what? Yeah, I don't know if this is chemo. I

8:43

don't know if it's pregnancy. it's I don't know if

8:46

it's turbulence or travel, but you know what? I'm

8:48

not travel, a couple know what? I'm cannot hit the

8:50

curve, for a couple of hit Jake, it

8:52

only takes hit junk. It only takes a fastball.

8:54

have to have a fat guy

8:56

with a bucket of balls have a fat guy

8:58

with a bucket down the pipe like him right

9:00

down the it's the all it's the all-star but

9:02

he doesn't he can't hit the hit the

9:05

junk. every time you time you try to

9:07

serve up a breaking ball to the coles,

9:09

the to the coles, it's like, you know I'm just

9:11

just going to hang on putting the bat

9:13

on my shoulder I'm gonna back in the

9:15

juicy, fast ball, right in my strike zone, that's all I'm gonna wait

9:17

my strike zone, that's all I swing

9:19

my strike good right now. all I'm going to, I'm gonna

9:22

wait for a nice, juicy, hungry, in my strike

9:24

zone, right in my do. zone, right, right, right, right, right? I

9:26

checked in the doctors, they zone, right, normal. I'm

9:28

like, yeah, I'm eating more than right?, of

9:30

gotten fat these days because I right, in

9:32

the gym and since right, whole thing started,

9:34

know, two months, right, a month half right, right, right,

9:36

right, right, right, right, right, right Yeah, you normally. You can't ex- I

9:38

mean obviously you can't run on a

9:40

treadmill a you could fall off. could fall

9:42

off and do some some real damage. is

9:45

there something you can do, you know,

9:47

something in a pool? The bike. in a pool?

9:49

is the bike. thing for me to get bike.

9:51

is the best thing for me.

9:53

get back on the bike next

9:55

week. It's a weird thing. I

9:57

can't articulate it well without sounding

9:59

like like a- chemo and radiation really sapped

10:01

to your motivation. I mean I want to

10:03

go to the gym. I know it's good

10:06

for me. I'm sorry. You can't even go

10:08

to a little brain cancer? I know. I

10:10

know. I say you're going to marry this

10:12

guy. I say to myself I want to

10:14

go to the gym. I'd like to go

10:17

to the gym. I'd like to go to

10:19

the gym. I'd like to go to the

10:21

gym. I'd like to go back to the

10:23

gym. Well I got thrown out of yoga

10:26

the other day. I guess I'm now too

10:28

big for yoga. No I am a little

10:30

gassy to be honest with you. This is

10:32

disgusting. But I went to yoga because exercise

10:34

is good for you when you're pregnant. It's

10:37

really good for the baby. And I look

10:39

it was not prenatal yoga. but they didn't

10:41

have that available at that time so i

10:43

went and i knew it wasn't going well

10:46

because my balance isn't so good there's an

10:48

extra thirty three pounds right here in my

10:50

middle and then after class the yoga teacher

10:52

who was a guy and he was not

10:54

happy to have me in his class uh...

10:57

he was straight if he was gay who'd

10:59

been nicer to me whoa he went and

11:01

like he kept making pronouncements like If you're

11:03

expecting, don't do this pose. Don't do that.

11:05

Yeah, I know. Do you love to generalize

11:08

analysis that are for you? Yeah, I'm like

11:10

standing there all giant in the master class.

11:12

Straw, serf, and straw. You know what it's

11:14

like. It's like that really uncomfortable thing. You

11:17

know when you're flying. and there's 250 people

11:19

on the airplane and they're starting to taxi

11:21

and there's the one person that's two seats

11:23

in front of you and they're standing up

11:25

and they're going the plane is taxing everybody

11:28

needs to be in their seats with their

11:30

belt buckles securely fastened and you're looking around

11:32

and you know everyone is buckled in except

11:34

for this one guy but they won't say

11:37

hey you in the striped shirt so there's

11:39

this constant berating that everybody's getting and i

11:41

feel like i know you don't want to

11:43

single the guy out but when you don't

11:45

fucking single the guy out then all of

11:48

us are sitting here

11:50

with our seats in

11:52

the upright position who

11:54

are buckled in are

11:56

being berated by your

11:59

condescending by your you know?

12:01

clearly the bitch ass. You affected

12:03

him and will not

12:05

him. announcements yes. affected him and

12:08

will not be. Evidently, yes, your scatter shot,

12:10

buckshot, general, approach to the if

12:12

you're anywhere near anywhere

12:14

airplane near an you can

12:16

get around to it,

12:19

perhaps, to it, perhaps, how about, hey, members,

12:21

holy jacket. you with the

12:23

bad rug. How'd you you your

12:25

ass down and buckle up so we can shove

12:27

the fuck off? Okay, we're talking to me, I

12:29

have a good rug. off? You're only talking to hour good me.

12:31

The only corrections, and he should have

12:34

just gone hour were to me. shirt. look like

12:36

a fucking and he the fucking fat, huge,

12:38

pregnant one. in the it off, you shouldn't

12:40

be here, but at the end of

12:42

class, a he goes, grave. far along are

12:44

you? And I said, oh, almost six

12:46

months. And then said. one. Knock it off,

12:48

you this should probably be but

12:51

at the end class. I think

12:53

in Get too intense. you owe

12:55

the person you're talking to, this in

12:57

general, you owe the person

13:00

you're talking to else in

13:02

either the airplane the yoga you owe

13:04

it to everyone else in either

13:06

the airplane or the yoga

13:08

class as that So you don't

13:10

have to constantly get that just

13:12

broad, you need to, you need to. need airplane

13:14

you need to, talking the

13:16

airplane, you always know they're talking

13:18

to the one person that's struggling with

13:20

their luggage, but it doesn't. To

13:22

be fair, this guy might have been sure

13:24

I'm pregnant. And then he just

13:26

thought I'm squad. thought it he didn't

13:29

know if it was he didn't you're expecting,

13:31

if you don't want to do twisting

13:33

poses. want to do twisting poses. Yeah. You

13:35

a prenatal massage massage? Yeah,

13:37

which is which is basically like a massage throw

13:39

they just throw you down on a pillow

13:41

with a hole in the pillow nice the

13:43

pillow is pillow of like the sort of

13:45

like... the same equivalent

13:47

in your your face. It's just that

13:50

only a little it's more

13:52

like memory foam. memory foam It's

13:54

pretty nice. It's comfortable comfortable it's

13:56

you know it's a little

13:58

I feel I feel good, I feel much than

14:00

last week. What do they charge?

14:02

Like, you know, at the car

14:05

wash, they'll charge extra for vans.

14:07

Right. Because it's just, they're big.

14:09

I'm just saying, you're no mini

14:11

Cooper. I'm just saying if it's

14:13

110 bucks for a straight massage.

14:15

105 pound Asian chicks, 110 bucks.

14:17

This RV comes pulling in. Oh

14:19

my God. You know what I

14:21

mean? I mean, 150? They hand

14:24

me the receipt. And then they

14:26

go. I'm sorry. I'm

14:28

sorry. I'm sorry. It's 150 for normal

14:30

size. Pregnant girls? That would be an

14:32

awesome thing to try to pull off.

14:34

They do that if you have long

14:37

hair. They charge you more low dry

14:39

hair. Yeah. You know, but we also

14:41

live in a society where this is

14:43

all you need to know about our

14:46

society. There's only extras. They never take

14:48

away anything. If you drive a Taurus,

14:50

it's 10 bucks at the car wash.

14:52

But if you drive a full-size van,

14:54

it's 16 bucks. But what about the

14:57

guy drives the Mini Cooper? That's smaller

14:59

than the Taurus. That should be 7

15:01

dollars. What about dry cleaning, clothes, if

15:03

you wear a size too? Right. So

15:06

if they charge... If they're charging you

15:08

know you extra at the salon to

15:10

blow-dry the hair then Susan powder I'm

15:12

trying to think Well, she wouldn't get

15:15

anything blow dry. Think, um, think, uh,

15:17

Kurt Warner's wife before she got the

15:19

extensions. Yeah, somebody with a bob. Quarterbacks,

15:21

uh, she had like a fade or

15:23

something, but they should charge less, but

15:26

they never, they never do. They just

15:28

charge, they charge more. Shell soups. Yes,

15:30

Cheryl swoops. They charge more for the

15:32

more, but nevertheless, the same math never

15:35

applies. I got you. See, the car

15:37

wash. I used to take my truck,

15:39

the car wash, and when I did,

15:41

they tried to charge me an extra

15:43

buck, it was a larger than a

15:46

regular car. I tried to get talk

15:48

him down, because there's less to wash.

15:50

Like, there's no back seat, there's no

15:52

back seat, no back windows. going to

15:55

correct you, but it's... Oh, yeah. There's

15:57

one thing next to us. It's true.

15:59

There's one thing next to us. She

16:01

accepts it. She knows where she goes

16:03

right now. Oh, thank God. She's got

16:06

a little... She's got a little bag

16:08

on the oven. Oh, yeah. Yeah, a

16:10

little bagel. People, can we please fast?

16:12

We can't push off until everybody is

16:15

seated. The thing that's, there's nothing worse

16:17

than if you're sitting up in the

16:19

front of the plane and that person

16:21

is literally standing in front of you.

16:24

We can't put in, you're like, you

16:26

almost want to shield yourself and like

16:28

hold your hands up and or you

16:30

just want to grab the mic and

16:32

go. Look, sit the fuck down and

16:35

buckle up, whoever the fucking is back

16:37

there. Don't make her sing. Yes. Speaking

16:39

to airplanes, I was watching the movie

16:41

Airplane the other night and there was,

16:44

we come along way in terms of

16:46

baggage security, like the bag above the

16:48

seats were just, there was no latch,

16:50

there was no door, it was open,

16:52

like a bus. and that was like

16:55

the 1980 and nowadays everything's gonna be

16:57

last can you take off unless it's

16:59

last we had a guy on our

17:01

flight about a month ago actually have

17:04

to change out the lot like the

17:06

door on one of the on one

17:08

of the baggage areas like a screw

17:10

the whole door yeah the whole thing

17:12

the whole lot how long did that

17:15

set you guys he had done it

17:17

before so he was in and out

17:19

there in about eight minutes but they

17:21

had a call for maintenance guy Well,

17:24

I've said the story on the air,

17:26

so you guys know it, but I

17:28

don't believe I've ever said it on

17:30

the podcast, which is one of my

17:32

life. could be just summed

17:35

up in in this like when I'm eulogized

17:37

all you need to do is you wouldn't

17:39

need to say any kind words you just

17:41

want you want an idea of what Adams

17:43

life was like here just watch this watch

17:45

this small clip and this would be it

17:47

was flying flying home from Florida flying back

17:49

to LA sitting in first class and one

17:51

of the of those baggage

17:53

things, and they have, they

17:56

have the door with

17:58

the pneumatic opener. So

18:00

if it doesn't doesn't

18:02

just flies it to pop

18:04

open again. So it

18:06

won't stay down. stay So

18:08

here we are, we're

18:10

sitting there, it just

18:12

won't latch, the thing

18:15

won't latch, the thing won't latch

18:17

but up clear, they cleared everything out of

18:19

it. So it was just completely empty. It's

18:21

open. empty so it's empty. So

18:24

I do the, do let's push off. right,

18:26

let's push off. And they're like, all the

18:28

we can't until all the baggage is

18:30

are our And this is really where our

18:32

society takes a turn. And this is

18:34

where we start heading toward Letter of the law

18:37

and of the law and the spirit

18:39

of the law. Right, we stop being able

18:41

to think for ourselves. And I said,

18:43

said, well, Well, it needs to be

18:45

shut in latched that luggage or personal don't

18:47

land on anyone's head during turbulence.

18:49

But if there's nothing in it,

18:51

what could possibly it, what could A

18:53

chunk of air falls out of

18:56

the thing? falls out of the thing? And so

18:58

we sat there, and we sat

19:00

there, and they called maintenance. And

19:02

I I I'd had a couple

19:04

of drinks, but I just kept

19:06

saying, but I just that comes in. seriously. Seriously,

19:08

we're we're not going to take

19:11

off because there's nothing in here and in here.

19:13

And off unless we can't take off unless

19:15

they're all shut how about this said, someone how about

19:17

this? a piece How about someone just get

19:19

a piece of duct tape and just shut it

19:21

just shut it and put a piece

19:23

of duct tape on it? because it there's nothing

19:25

in it. it so physically we have to

19:27

have we have to have this thing.

19:29

And by the way, is it some it's the

19:31

wing warped or something something or is it

19:33

just a open baggage thing? sir sir sir sir back and

19:36

forth you know sir, sir, back and forth,

19:38

backed up there are ten they're backed up, guys got

19:40

to over, the guy's gotta drive he's

19:42

out there, he's got the wrong he's going

19:44

he's and and forth. somewhere around the 15th

19:46

we're we're sitting there for an hour,

19:48

said, I said Literally just put a piece

19:50

of duct tape on this thing

19:53

so we tape push off and get

19:55

out of here. fucking push off and get out of

19:57

the way, And by the way, the

19:59

only the only right? come, as the

20:01

only sensible right-thinking person

20:03

on the plane, I

20:05

turn into the number

20:07

one asshole on the

20:10

plane? You know what

20:12

I'm saying? Delivery started

20:14

off. The tone, tonally

20:16

it started off as

20:18

a helpful FYI offer.

20:20

Yeah, how about you?

20:22

She, yeah, hey. Wouldn't

20:24

that be just if there was luggage

20:26

in there? I mean, if there's nothing

20:29

in there, obviously, there's nothing to fall

20:31

out. Perhaps we could just push off,

20:33

because I have someone picking me up

20:35

at fucking L.A.X. and four and a

20:37

half god damn hours. So I was

20:39

like, no, no, no, no, no, no,

20:41

sir, you know, sir, sir, sir, sir,

20:44

sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, and

20:46

then eventually an hour and half later

20:48

out comes the duct tape. And they

20:50

just put a piece fucking duct tape

20:52

on it, push it and I gave

20:54

the, hello, hello, hello, all I want

20:57

a fucking apology and a blow job.

20:59

That's all I want. That's all I

21:01

want is, you know what, you're right.

21:03

Instead of, now I get the stink

21:05

eye. I get the stink eye as

21:07

the troublemaker. But by the way, I

21:09

got one stink eye, you know, before

21:12

the duct tape came out, I was

21:14

a troublemaker. Now that I'm a troublemaker

21:16

and right, now I'm really fucked. Right,

21:18

now I have to completely avoid it.

21:20

Now I'm going to be punished. Right,

21:22

right. But that's about, that's about what

21:24

our society's turned into, right? Nothing inside

21:27

the fucking compartment, but yet cannot travel

21:29

with it open. Right. And it's not

21:31

like once the plane gets in flight,

21:33

you're not allowed to open the thing.

21:35

You can get up when the planes

21:37

in flight and open the thing up

21:39

and do all you want, leave it

21:42

open for 10 minutes while you rummage

21:44

around for whatever your overcoat or whatever

21:46

it is. There's no danger in open.

21:48

No one hits their head on it.

21:50

It's open. It's against the fucking ceiling.

21:52

Oh, we have lost our ability to

21:54

just use common sense and reason. And

21:57

you know, and everyone just passes the

21:59

buck. Like, oh, I'd like to do

22:01

it, but I could, you know, you

22:03

know, and the pilot would like to

22:05

do it. But he. but everyone liked

22:07

to but we have rules blah blah

22:09

blah. Hey what was that story where

22:12

the stewardess curved your alcohol intake? Me?

22:14

You started serving yourself champagne or something?

22:16

I got yelled out for serving myself.

22:18

But then she cut you off too?

22:20

No, no. She... Something happened, as you

22:22

guys know, after 9-11, where every stewardess

22:25

decided she was an air marshal and

22:27

a fucking stewardess, you know? Serving our

22:29

country and your warm nuts. Yes, somehow...

22:31

It's just really fucked up thing, but

22:33

what happened was is somehow they became

22:35

responsible for safety and the part where

22:37

they serve you drinks is like, listen,

22:40

it was sort of this thing where

22:42

would you rather arrive at JFK alive

22:44

or with a high ball? And it's

22:46

like, oh, well, if you'll break it

22:48

down that way, I don't see you

22:50

wrestling any terrorist. Yeah. No, what happened

22:52

was, is I was just sitting there,

22:55

I'm sitting in the very front row

22:57

of first class, and they have the

22:59

cart that's there, and on the cart,

23:01

I'm sure you've passed it on your

23:03

way to steerage many times. On the

23:05

way below. When they're going down. I

23:07

mean, it has a dig on it,

23:10

and they kind of throw you in

23:12

there. And they're like, sir, you need

23:14

to attach your hitch to the whipping

23:16

pose before. Yeah, there's actually just hitch

23:18

up. So there's the cart. I got

23:20

a tag of the LAX. And the

23:22

cart has a thing of champagne on

23:25

it and a thing of orange juice

23:27

on it. Yeah, you see it. And

23:29

a bunch of cups. And I'm literally

23:31

sitting in the first seat. And the

23:33

first seat is just, you could lean,

23:35

if you undid your seat belt, you

23:38

could lean over and grab the champagne.

23:40

And I'm just sitting there. And the

23:42

stewardesses. When you're on the ground, the

23:44

first class stewardesses are everyone's stewardess until

23:46

you get up in the air. So

23:48

she's helping people, their baggage and shoving

23:50

shit. top and and

23:53

I'm just sort of

23:55

staring at the

23:57

champagne the whole time

23:59

the I'm waving my

24:01

and around and hitting

24:03

the around and traction.

24:05

Rod of the traction.

24:08

so at a certain

24:10

point. a certain point the, I'm

24:12

I'm not to sit up, I'm not

24:14

gonna stand up and rack, I do

24:16

that half that half lean I'm stretching out.

24:18

under the seat belt and you're digging. Undo the seat We're

24:20

not flying, we're not We're we're not

24:22

doing anything, we're just sitting at the

24:24

gate. it. We're Undo the thing, reach

24:26

over and do the the Of course

24:29

she turns around the second. course she turns

24:31

this isn't a self -serve bar. a self-serve

24:33

bar. Oh no! The had turned

24:35

on the turned on the no condescending. Wow.

24:37

Yes. I do like the part where they have

24:39

to to settle your hash, know, you know the you know,

24:41

you know I part like I was complaining about,

24:43

wife the other just to my wife the other day,

24:45

a kid to have a kid. So you're going

24:48

to go through this. You're going to go to

24:50

the hospital. to I was complaining about it when

24:52

we were at the hospital when we were at the I

24:54

had the I had the to use the

24:56

bathroom that was in the holding the

24:58

holding pen. had a holding pen. that was

25:01

that was just literally two beds, me and and

25:03

my wife. There's nobody else in the

25:05

room and a bathroom the the room, room. in

25:07

the room, just just if we're sitting in this

25:09

room a bathroom right there and it's

25:11

just, you're just sitting with your husband waiting

25:13

to be wheeled down to give birth and

25:15

a at a certain point, he gets up gets up

25:17

and goes and takes a leak, and then when

25:19

he comes out of the bathroom, he gets a

25:21

dressing down from the nurse. the nurse like that bathroom

25:23

is just for the for the Your bathroom is down,

25:26

and you want to go, you want to go hey cut

25:28

How many, what are what, going what are we

25:30

gonna do? Like, how many times? you You

25:32

think I'm gonna be back here tomorrow? here You

25:34

think I'm coming back you day this week? I'm

25:36

so glad I learned that piece of information for

25:38

the next time. I I'm in here with my wife

25:40

having twins. Yes, for you think I have a

25:43

time. Yeah. I'm in I'm gonna go up to the

25:45

roof. having here he, those think I are planning

25:47

on using bullhorn, I'm You want to pee? to think

25:49

twice. the I'm going down the hall. here I'm

25:51

he, I'm gonna get a bell. are I'm gonna

25:53

be like a town crier. a burn going down

25:55

the, I you have a burn unit? I

25:57

want to explain to those people. Shut the

25:59

fuck up. up! cut and here's the thing

26:01

yes we're never gonna cross paths again

26:03

why do you need I understand the

26:06

part where it's like someone is gonna

26:08

you're attending my school and you're gonna

26:10

be here for the next 10 years

26:12

you need to know the part where

26:14

so I lean over I pour my

26:16

champagne sir this is not a self-serve

26:19

self-serve self-serve bar so she gives me

26:21

the condescending like thing and I just

26:23

looked at her and I said hey

26:25

it's first class And meaning like, like,

26:27

shut the fuck up. This is a

26:29

$3,500 ticket that somebody paid for, and

26:32

you don't need to fucking dress me

26:34

down for pouring my own fucking champagne.

26:36

And by the way, from that point

26:38

on, no, no. got shut down. I

26:40

had to have my buddy Chris who's

26:42

a sober guy, you know, it's like

26:44

I have order Bloody Mary and we'll

26:47

move on to the Chevy. And they

26:49

would give it to him and he'd

26:51

slide it to me. Right. Because she

26:53

wouldn't give me anything. In the sitcom

26:55

he would be like somebody's sponsor. Right.

26:57

And that guy would be on the

27:00

plane. Would see him ordering 10 drinks.

27:02

Right. Right. and it wasn't a spoken

27:04

thing she didn't say you're cut off

27:06

it was just i was on her

27:08

shit list because i had the fucking

27:10

temerity to pour my own seven dollar

27:12

champagne occasionally at a diner when i'm

27:15

near the coffee station yes just need

27:17

a refill i just because i was

27:19

a waitress for so many years i

27:21

just help myself i know how to

27:23

pour it not gonna hurt anybody but

27:25

occasionally you do get a talking to

27:28

what is that impulse you know you're

27:30

sitting there obviously they're busy and that's

27:32

why they're not getting to you right

27:34

now you're not trying to shame them

27:36

you just want some fucking coughing or

27:38

some god damn champagne but they've taken

27:40

it as a shaming I guess and

27:43

sort of are lashing out, like, oh,

27:45

you don't think I'm doing my job,

27:47

but I've done that thing at the

27:49

diner too, where you're, you turn the

27:51

cup over, you're waving the cup around,

27:53

you bang it on the table, yelling

27:56

atka, dragging spool in the bars.

27:58

try to look really

28:00

tired, Right. Just one more

28:02

more cup of coffee.

28:04

don't don't do it. So get

28:06

you serve yourself and you get

28:08

the and dressing down. That's another thing

28:10

down. another thing too. Do you

28:12

own the airplane? Do you own the Do

28:15

you own the diner? how how big

28:17

a shit do you really give? this is

28:19

know this is something we a

28:21

lot, but we've all had jobs. jobs.

28:23

Do you a a fuck? They did what I what I mean?

28:25

I've the same for so long, they must feel a

28:27

sense of, uh, feel part of this. uh, I own part

28:30

of this. Right, it's so weird. It's so weird,

28:32

I used to teach traffic school. I was

28:34

like, I don't have to school. who gives

28:36

a shit? fuck, up late, take an

28:38

hour for lunch, the fuck it is. the fuck

28:40

it is. cares? It's a gig. gig. Yeah, maybe

28:42

that doesn't make you a great employee,

28:44

but I've never really felt like never really

28:46

money like, money. And if I give

28:48

somebody an extra plate of give somebody an you

28:50

know, it's coming plate of fries, you know, it's when

28:52

it's neither here nor there, coffee

28:54

is free, there. Coffee actually doing their

28:57

business a favor by giving yourself

28:59

a warm yourself a If somebody gets

29:01

sued, you're not going to be

29:03

named in the lawsuit, in the you're

29:05

just a part -time waiter. Who the

29:07

fuck cares, just shut up. shut

29:09

up. Just the fuck up is it

29:11

it with everyone piping up that shit? You

29:13

never get that as the grocery store. When you go, you

29:15

when you go try to all around in groceries,

29:17

because I know how I want them, I want them dulled

29:19

a certain want them certain way. And they sometimes give

29:21

you a for help guy. Sometimes tell thanks

29:23

used to be a professional you

29:26

used to be good, but, bagger. That was it

29:28

in my eyes. but see see in eyes see in

29:30

your the way by the way you separate the

29:32

been there been there, you separate the frozen.

29:34

you have a... donny do you

29:36

have you have a call by the

29:38

way the way? Yes I do. Why your headphones

29:40

on see what we headphones on? See

29:43

what go in got. let's switch you

29:45

go -hmm one sec? Let's switch the

29:47

first Okay, gonna be Kyle. is got

29:49

a question for Adam. Kyle's got a

29:51

Kyle? for Adam. Kyle? You

29:53

there, Kyle? Command Kyle. Hello? going

29:56

on? going on? Uh, not much.

29:58

much, just watching the the Mets. you have a

30:00

question? a question? Yeah, I I

30:02

got a question about the about the M-Kroll

30:04

project. M-Kroll project.

30:06

Yes. I don't know how much of it

30:09

How much of it was real and

30:11

how much of it was scripted or

30:13

suggested by the producers? Um,

30:16

I would have, I'd be hard pressed to

30:18

like be hard percentage a

30:20

percentage to it. It was

30:22

all real as it

30:24

was. The producers would say producers

30:26

would say things like, you guys, we're

30:28

all going to go out Tuesday night

30:30

and go to a place and shoot

30:33

pool and then we'll just film and

30:35

see what happens. And they would

30:37

do they would like that, but they never

30:39

set up any gags or anything like

30:41

they never said, we're going to steal

30:43

the tools, we're to have Gary cut

30:45

the gonna have Gary cut the glue They never. too

30:47

short never made anything up. made They

30:49

never made anything up out of whole up out

30:51

They would just suggest scenarios like you guys

30:54

should all go over here and hang out

30:56

for a while. here and goes. All to do

30:58

with the a while and see how that goes. Yeah, that's

31:00

probably about as set up as they about get

31:02

up as they would get

31:04

like, go get Ozzy, let's Let's get

31:07

Ozzy voice coach. And And so

31:09

get Ozzy get Ozzy a voice coach, but

31:11

the voice coach was a voice coach and

31:13

Ozzy was Ozzy and everything and the same. was

31:15

the same. Can you Kyle? Kyle? Yeah,

31:17

like one scene in particular

31:20

scene in particular is when

31:22

you got shoes or something, something,

31:24

that's pretty suspect. Suspected?

31:26

Adam's been trying to get been trying to

31:28

get shoes shoes for probably 10

31:30

years now. And don't get

31:32

him started on a on license. Can

31:34

you buy him some shoes? You buy him Ray

31:36

works in Ray works in

31:38

flip-flops. a He works construction and does

31:40

demolition with with you nails and screws laugh and

31:42

and plaster and stucco. He does

31:44

that stuff in oh or barefoot to be to

31:46

be to be honest. him why don't kept

31:48

saying to him, why don't you

31:51

get some fucking boots? like And

31:53

he'd be like, eh, they're all

31:55

uncomfortable. And I said, well, what

31:57

if I go out and buy

31:59

you some real real some expensive real

32:01

boots which I did by the way

32:03

which he never wore but I don't

32:05

I mean as far as these shows

32:07

go is as scripted or as structured

32:09

as our show would go as I

32:11

would be arguing probably with Ray about

32:13

why don't you wear some boots you're

32:15

on a job site you're on my

32:17

job site you're working slower because you're

32:19

worried about stepping on nails how about

32:21

you show up with some boots and

32:23

one of the producers might say why

32:25

don't we go out and get race

32:27

and boots and we'd go get race

32:29

and boots but i still paid for

32:32

it and we still went to a

32:34

place so it's not like we went

32:36

to stage 14 where they made a

32:38

boot boutique i think what i'm hearing

32:40

from kile is that you and ray

32:42

are essentially spitey and your entire relationship

32:44

has been made up for the show

32:46

yeah i don't know what you're getting

32:48

at what do you mean that scene

32:50

made up well uh far fat well

32:52

no it's not bad This

32:55

is what I love about Skype. Does this happen a lot?

32:57

Uh, more than we'd like, but I guess what I was

32:59

trying to get to with Kyle, like, there's a certain amount,

33:01

I mean, there wasn't like, hey, let's all just show up

33:03

and walk in a circle. There'd be like, hey, we're gonna

33:05

go get raised some boots. And, but then everything was pretty

33:07

much organic, like we'd send the kid on the lunch run,

33:09

he'd go on a lunch run, he'd fuck up the lunch

33:11

run, he'd get lost, he'd go over the lunch run, he'd

33:13

get lost, he'd get lost, he'd get lost, he'd get lost,

33:15

he'd get lost, he'd get lost, he'd get lost, he'd get

33:17

lost, he'd get lost, he'd get lost, he'd get lost, he'd

33:19

get lost, he'd get lost, he'd get lost, he'd got, he'd

33:22

get lost, he'd get lost, he'd get lost, he'd get lost,

33:24

he'd get lost, he'd get lost, he'd got Yeah, they maybe

33:26

might choose a location to mix it up. Right. Were you

33:28

on TLC at the same time? All right, we have another

33:30

question. Alumni. Hold on, I didn't like Kyle's tone, did you?

33:32

Yeah, it was accusatory. Well, what, by the way, you saw

33:34

the show, what do you mean? The Mets must be losing.

33:36

You saw the show, I said, array, you need some boots,

33:38

and then at some point I said, he probably said, well,

33:40

you pay for them, I'll wear them, and I said, fine,

33:42

let's go. And we went to a boot place, and North

33:44

Island, I bought him boots. Kyle takes an interest in your

33:46

work. It's hard to get back and ask us to ask

33:48

some mode, but that was a great show. Actually, it's a

33:50

case asked in the results at the same time. You had

33:53

two shows, the same time, you

33:55

had two shows and the Late Project, the

33:57

Annacarle Project, the Annacar Uncrowded Project was good

33:59

one, and that was the

34:01

one I did artwork on. not

34:03

I remember people I remember would tell

34:05

them saying, I would working on them all

34:07

the time, they're I'm like, oh, Markham, show

34:09

with the construction show. Like, oh, I love

34:11

hardware the construction, and that show. That

34:13

the hardware, the one and stuff. And Donnie on

34:15

the one no one liked

34:17

either. no one like you. I that one. one.

34:19

Oh no. And we you go back

34:21

and watch it now, it's actually

34:24

pretty good. There were some

34:26

good moments. Yeah, some great moments.

34:28

some right. We've got another. phone

34:30

call. This one's for All right. We got another are

34:32

you there? This one's for is

34:34

here. Are there? Bob? is Bob. What's

34:37

happening Bob? Hello. I

34:39

haven't, I can't you guys

34:41

guys obviously, so if you've already covered

34:43

this, me to off. Teresa, first

34:45

all hope all the pregnancy is going

34:47

great. have a is a

34:49

early october what mine

34:51

is early October. people And I

34:53

actually read that most the

34:55

parents early October birthdays mean the parents were

34:57

getting it thank you Year's guess I

34:59

was impregnated on New Year's Eve.

35:01

thank you, on. I guess I I got it. Good on you.

35:03

Good on you. proud of you. Year's Eve. Uh, Brian, I've been

35:06

I've been reading your blog and your

35:08

lovely wife to bees blog, things? I understand you're close to

35:10

the end of close to the end of

35:12

treatment and all that jazz. Yeah, party

35:14

too. You party too. had a bachelor

35:16

party. did. I'll But yeah, thanks, Thanks, Bob. I

35:18

did, I went to my bachelor party party last weekend.

35:20

Don't see what you guys go. Isn't Bob opposite of

35:22

of Kyle in every way? Yes. I thought that was a fun

35:24

tone. Yes. I did a bachelor party in Vegas two Vegas

35:26

ago ago and it was a

35:28

really fun time. Did the bar, bar. Did a,

35:30

did a, it was was really funny, did

35:32

friends, the my friends, the club, club took

35:34

my I took my chemotherapy there in

35:36

there in spirit chased it it with vodka

35:38

red ball. Yeah, you did. Yeah, the did. time

35:40

first time it's ever happened, so I

35:42

would say, yeah. It was very, moment. a was

35:44

a there you will, sitting next to

35:46

me on the couch to me on the

35:48

couch was I pills and she, she

35:50

looks at she looks at it, little pill

35:52

them, taking them, a little pill what's that? looks at

35:54

it, she I said, ooh, you want,

35:56

nothing fun. you want, share it. fun, thought

35:58

share it. She thought you were good. can start rolling

36:01

on some ash or something. So we're

36:03

going to like start passing us back

36:05

to the signal like, no, sorry. This

36:07

is for my serious stuff. That might

36:09

be an issue. He could avoid waxing.

36:11

Bob, we covered, by the way, I

36:13

got it. It just wasn't funny. Put

36:15

Bob on hold with the police, he's

36:17

in and out. And yeah, we covered

36:19

the fact that he was going to

36:21

be ramping up his chemo and his

36:23

radiation this week. Yeah, on week six

36:26

of a six week tour and getting

36:28

married in what 14 days? Yeah, I

36:30

guess the point of it all is

36:32

trying to say is I'm leading as

36:34

normal life as possible with the bachelor

36:36

party and the wedding all that stuff.

36:38

So thanks about for asking, but things

36:40

are things are cranking or crankinging along.

36:42

And there's nothing, we won't know anything

36:44

about the treatment until you're able about

36:46

the end of the year? I'm going

36:48

to have my first MRI done in

36:50

June, July, and that's going to be...

36:52

They're predicting that there's not going to

36:55

be much to come from the MRIs.

36:57

The first MRIs are very unreliable and

36:59

they just, they look like a mess

37:01

because the other brain scrambled and the

37:03

brains frankly swollen from the treatments. So

37:05

they won't be able to see much.

37:07

Yes, you're right down the road a

37:09

few months, they're going to take MRIs

37:11

and be able to see exactly where

37:13

we are progress wise. So six months

37:15

down the road at the end of

37:17

the year, they can get an accurate

37:19

look and see just how much shrinking

37:22

the radiation did. Now they're able to

37:24

get an accurate measurement of it from

37:26

the first MRI and they'll know in

37:28

centimeters or millimeters and millimeters probably whether

37:30

the thing has grown or whether it's

37:32

shrunk or whether it stayed the same

37:34

essentially. They'll know more accurately about three

37:36

months out. They'll take another MRI. And

37:38

how's everyone in your family doing your

37:40

mom and dad? My mom and dad

37:42

came down this last weekend to actually

37:44

come to radiation with me and see

37:46

the whole thing. And it was really

37:49

helpful to them to see what's going

37:51

on. Me, we met with the doctor.

37:53

And it was good for them to

37:55

sort of put a human face on

37:57

and see the people that are helping

37:59

me. And by the way, if you

38:01

want to go to Chris's blog in

38:03

communion tumor.com. can see video of the

38:05

actual radiation room. It's wild. The machine

38:07

that kind of goes around my head

38:09

and they strap me down. It's really

38:11

very impressive. Speaking of babies, because you're

38:13

wrong and I, your mom and I

38:16

email. I love Nancy. I wish she

38:18

was my mom. Oh, you're my mom?

38:20

I'll take both your friends. I wish

38:22

your dad was my mom. That's how

38:24

desperate I am. My dad is a

38:26

pretty good mom, but Mrs. Bishop is

38:28

just the sweetest, nicest, and so we

38:30

emailed back and forth. And I said,

38:32

oh, you must be so excited about

38:34

Christie, you know, she's as good a

38:36

daughter-in-law as you could ever hope for.

38:38

And she's going to be a beautiful

38:40

bride, and right away, she was like,

38:43

yes, and make some beautiful grandchildren. I

38:45

mean, this is like, she needs some

38:47

grandkids. Yep, she's hard up. She wrote

38:49

me a very heartfelt letter that my

38:51

wife read in bed, I think Sunday

38:53

morning to me, although she couldn't finish

38:55

it because she was crying so much.

38:57

But it was just such a lovely

38:59

letter thanking me. I don't know anything

39:01

about this. She just, she crafted. She

39:03

wrote a very kind letter to me

39:05

that brought a tear to my butt,

39:07

but turned Lynette into a heap. This

39:10

is true because I had lunch with

39:12

Lynette today. Oh my Geez. That she

39:14

read on Sunday. And then I actually

39:16

read again, it was out on my

39:18

on my bureau the other day. And

39:20

I was just thinking, what fucking awesome

39:22

parents you have. And I can't appreciate

39:24

your parents without hating my own. Same

39:26

here. It's bitter sweet. like my dad

39:28

would never write that letter when you

39:30

see Mrs. Bishop you want like you

39:32

want to be you want to like

39:34

sit on her lap and cuddle her

39:36

yeah you know I don't feel that

39:39

way you know give you a little

39:41

pat sure but it's so it's so

39:43

it's so wonderful that they're you know

39:45

so it's so involved with your life

39:47

and then also that you know you

39:49

guys you know when you when you

39:51

talk about you know going to a

39:53

tailgate USC with your dad and

39:55

like that, know, having

39:57

having that you guys

39:59

share together share together is

40:01

so And, you know,

40:03

I was saying

40:06

to my wife to my

40:08

the weekend, the weekend, we did

40:10

the whole car show thing. I took

40:12

my son and Donnie's over there

40:14

with his dad and his mom

40:16

his mom and whatever. You know, as you

40:18

get older, if you eliminate the

40:21

interest stuff, you find find yourself

40:23

hanging out out that much hanging out

40:25

is out is usually based

40:27

around you watching a ball or

40:29

going to a car show

40:31

show or having a a team that

40:33

you root for or or something

40:35

going on something's going on

40:37

like if you think about 90%

40:39

of your social % of your because you

40:41

both like the same group because you

40:44

both like the same group

40:46

and thus you're going to

40:48

the concert together anything. my family

40:50

doesn't like anything doing anything you

40:52

don't find yourself doing anything sort

40:54

the part where you're sort of

40:56

forced to hang out, but that

40:58

just becomes we're going to we're going to

41:00

go sit and stare at each

41:02

other across a table, which you you

41:04

don't really feel like doing. doing. But

41:06

you realize all the all the activities,

41:08

you don't you don't there's Thanksgiving you know,

41:10

there's and then that's Christmas, I know what you

41:12

then that's about it. I know what

41:14

you mean. For Jews, talking is our actually just

41:16

sitting around talking sit our activity. We just

41:18

sit around the table But it eat and

41:20

talk. activity, that thing like, hey, Tiger Woods is in Woods

41:22

is in town, know, the Rolling you know,

41:24

flying, you know, are playing, know, we're a

41:27

huge Rolling Stones it's a see the

41:29

concert. concert. Yeah, I I mean, Donnie, you you

41:31

would not hang out with your

41:33

dad nearly as much as you do

41:35

I don't, I'm not making this not making this

41:37

into a bad thing. I'm just saying

41:39

goes to goes to shows a or You car

41:41

shows a year. You got to

41:44

hook up the trailer and meet him

41:46

down there blah, goes and blah, blah,

41:48

blah. And for better or worse,

41:50

you're sort of forced to spend the

41:52

day with your dad. dad. That's why.

41:54

Well, you're at the car show

41:56

with it. Well also one of the more

41:59

enjoyable environments. of spending. with my dad is

42:01

actually yeah now imagine if you you

42:03

removed from the from the equation,

42:05

wheat doesn't smoke weed. smoke He

42:07

doesn't smoke have nothing to talk about you to

42:09

talk about. what's be your activity with to your to

42:11

be your activity with your son? now

42:13

well that's now. concerns that's what concerns get

42:15

I'll just have to get into boy

42:18

stuff yeah I can Yeah, I can get stuff just one

42:20

thing, one thing that's tolerable to

42:22

you. tolerable to doesn't have to be. have to

42:24

be Boy, well, here's the thing, there

42:26

can be a girl component to the

42:28

boy to the such as. such as

42:30

Donnie's is at the thing because

42:32

they they have a woody. a woody

42:34

is a the old like the old station

42:37

wagon that's got the on it.

42:39

It's not exactly a hot a hot It's

42:41

as much of a of a chick it

42:43

is a guy car. guy So it's

42:45

kind of a cute, fun, funky, fun,

42:47

funky art 30 work art of art with

42:49

wood on the like a a piece of

42:51

furniture with wheels on it, essentially. And

42:54

side is side is the part where

42:56

the whole family comes together and

42:58

she packs the food and puts

43:00

on the spread all that kind of

43:02

stuff. So there's actually, without a

43:04

condescending, it's... a a mom's side side of

43:06

this equation doesn't involve being a

43:08

grease monkey. I got to gotta slice

43:10

up some oranges and pack them in

43:13

a baggy. Yeah, by the the way the

43:15

the way her car won

43:17

first place. Yeah, the Woody first

43:19

place place its class in its class. I

43:21

do. Do you of course. Yeah, well, I

43:23

like notice it there for

43:26

her know, it's her? Spring yeah.

43:28

Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, it's her?

43:30

Spring training. do Oh, it's her? Spring guys remember

43:32

when I first started working with

43:34

you. I was dating that guy He

43:36

was the baseball player training. I would

43:38

training that guy. You that guy. I missed

43:40

that working to with him. I know. a

43:43

cannon for an arm. arm. Oh God. Home

43:45

plate on one hop in in the morning track

43:47

and hit from both sides of the plate

43:49

with power of you let him with power. Why don't

43:51

you let him go? By tool player.

43:53

He was a lefty. Well, me go

43:55

he let me go. Oh yeah. He called it a

43:57

lefty. So I ended up up going

43:59

to because he played in one of these

44:02

urban leagues. I ended up going to

44:04

a lot of games and I would

44:06

sometimes stumble across the kids playing and

44:08

I would just sit and watch the

44:10

kids and sometimes I'd find myself sitting

44:12

with a bunch of moms and I

44:14

felt this weird nervous tension every time

44:16

a kid got up and I could

44:18

tell who their mom was and I

44:20

started like physically get a stomach ache

44:22

thinking I don't want that kid to

44:24

strike out. I can't handle it. Yeah,

44:26

I don't even know the kids or

44:28

their mom. I basically just look like

44:30

a sex offender who stumble onto the

44:32

park. There's no kids in this game.

44:34

And I would feel nervous like, oh

44:36

God, it must be hard to watch

44:38

your kid because they're going to sometimes

44:40

strike out and then they might strike

44:42

out twice or there might be the

44:44

really bad kid on the team. And

44:46

then you have to, you know, what

44:48

do you say on the way home?

44:50

Baseball's not for you? You got to

44:52

watch parenthood. Yeah, you got to watch

44:54

Steve Martin's Parenthood. But that's the weird

44:56

thing that your dad wasn't involved because

44:58

you were the dad that dad's dream

45:00

about because you were like a star

45:02

and he didn't have any interest in

45:04

that. You didn't make him cry? Well,

45:06

I was. Yeah, he went to a

45:09

couple of, he didn't go to many

45:11

little league games. He went to a

45:13

couple of Pop Warner games. Yeah, no,

45:15

you know, I gotta tell you I

45:17

was I was really, uh, I was

45:19

really, uh, angry the other day, because,

45:21

uh, I, I, it's a weird thing.

45:23

It's weird when the parent doesn't, doesn't

45:25

share in any of the satisfaction. Like,

45:27

you think, you know, don't do it

45:29

for me, do it for you kind

45:31

of thing. And I, I was, um,

45:33

Leno had Leno's people had sent me

45:35

my yearbook. I didn't have my 11th

45:37

grade yearbook, but they sent it to

45:39

me because of some bid I did

45:41

on their show a few months ago.

45:43

I don't remember what it was, but

45:45

I had never seen it. I hadn't

45:47

seen it in 25 years or something.

45:49

They tracked it down. They sent it

45:51

to me. is nice and I was

45:53

thumbing through it and when I looked

45:55

at the football section it said the

45:57

team sucked except for juniors key plays

45:59

were made by Adam Corolla and Chris

46:01

Bone my good buddy by the way

46:03

which I I love and then I

46:05

flipped over the baseball thing and it

46:07

said the hitting attack was led by

46:09

Adam Corolla and I got really proud

46:11

and of course I ran to show

46:13

my wife look at football events because

46:15

I hadn't seen it I probably saw

46:17

it at the time 25 years ago,

46:19

but I didn't have the book. I

46:21

didn't see it. I was like, oh

46:23

yeah, I'm in the football and the

46:26

baseball. And then my next thought was,

46:28

I know no one of my families

46:30

ever seen this. And it would be

46:32

cool if they saw it. But I

46:34

don't think they've ever opened the book

46:36

or they would know. And it would

46:38

never take that pride. Now that you

46:40

have kids who just turned three, don't

46:42

you feel like any little thing they

46:44

do just fills you with prides? Sunny

46:46

had a solid BM. I had a

46:48

shellac and mounted like a pass the

46:50

other day. If only Brian could do

46:52

the same. I'm jealous to get two-year-old.

46:54

You know what I mean? Like, we

46:57

don't even have a word for this.

46:59

I have to go to Yiddish, but

47:01

there's a word, Kveling. You feel so,

47:03

you're so proud of someone that you're,

47:05

you're Kveling. Well, you know, the thing,

47:07

the thing that's weird about it is,

47:09

is you always think of it in

47:12

terms of, Well, make the kid feel

47:14

good by taking his shitty scribblings and

47:16

putting it up on the refrigerator. Make

47:18

the kid feel good. And that's true.

47:20

At a certain point when the kid's

47:22

three and he's just scribbling around with

47:25

a cray on and doesn't even look

47:27

like a fucking pirate. We'll put it

47:29

up. Sure. And it doesn't make the

47:31

house look any better. It makes it.

47:33

But if the kid makes All Valley,

47:35

then you get to go, hey, my

47:38

kid made All Valley and worked that

47:40

into a conversation. And that actually makes

47:42

you seem sort of the, you know,

47:44

I was talking the other day that

47:46

if your kid commits suicide, it reflects

47:48

on you. As a parent, you're kind

47:50

of like, yeah, it might not, this

47:53

kid could be clinically depressed and have

47:55

a chemical disorder. and could have had

47:57

too many concussions from wrestling. something like

47:59

that. But if the kid kills himself,

48:01

there's a little too. But if the

48:03

kid makes all state, even if you

48:06

suck at sports or never throw a

48:08

ball to them, you still get to

48:10

go the, hey, uh, lookie over here.

48:12

Oh yeah. Why wouldn't you want to

48:14

basking that light just a little bit?

48:16

I feel like if little no nameski,

48:18

or whatever, you know, he has no

48:21

name yet, but if little baby no

48:23

nameski, even is the kind of kid

48:25

who always says please and thank and

48:27

thank you and thank you, participation trophy

48:29

for saying thanks. He says three-year-old. Your

48:31

kids are three. Your kids are three.

48:34

Your kids are three. Just three. And

48:36

you know what? A major. A. And

48:38

you know what? You know what I

48:40

got for my birthday? A major Hollywood

48:42

shaming. Which was that. Racked. Courtesy of

48:44

Chelsea Handler. Oh good. Who, as you

48:46

know, has a show on E. Yes.

48:49

And she came in to do our

48:51

radio show. She was really nice and

48:53

I thought she was funny and she

48:55

said, you should come on my show

48:57

and do panel. But I never could.

48:59

She said radio show. She came, Chelsea

49:02

came on our, the Adam Corolla show

49:04

back, the old Kayla says. Oh, that,

49:06

oh then back when she came in.

49:08

Right, yes. And she said, you should

49:10

come on my television show and do

49:12

the panel. And I said, okay, great,

49:14

thanks. And so I thought you're talking

49:17

to Gay Bill. She's talking through you.

49:19

She was talking to the board up.

49:21

So I booked a day and then

49:23

I had a conflict with one of

49:25

my other jobs so I couldn't do

49:27

it. And then recently I thought, oh

49:30

this would be a great time to

49:32

do Chelsea's show. It does really well

49:34

and what am I doing? I'm not

49:36

getting up at 4.30 anymore. So I

49:38

had my manager call to read book

49:40

me. Unfortunately, young comedians. I

49:43

just saw 29 again. I know what

49:46

that means. That I'm not a comedian,

49:48

which I'm not, or not young, which

49:50

I'm not. But either way, it was

49:53

equally demoralizing that I couldn't even have

49:55

hurt feelings. I just laughed. Wow. Yeah,

49:57

then there was like a... but you

50:00

know, because we used to have journalist

50:02

types and hosts and now we're just

50:04

doing young comedians. So I get it.

50:06

People sometimes change their needs. I've worked

50:09

on shows that do that, but this

50:11

is a little bit of a little

50:13

bit of a blow. Yeah, I know.

50:16

Well, I'm old now. You know, they

50:18

probably, and I don't know, because Donnie

50:20

used to work on that show, right?

50:22

Yeah, I did start up on, she

50:25

actually bought my iPhone. She bought Donnie

50:27

his first iPhone. When she turned into

50:29

a bong, but it still looks like

50:32

an iPhone. Everyone who works on her

50:34

show thinks she's really nice. She's really

50:36

nice. Yeah, she is very nice. Yeah,

50:38

she is very funny. Yeah. I'd like

50:41

to say it wasn't her decision, but

50:43

the Booker went out of his way

50:45

to say that I went directly to

50:48

Chelsea. And, uh, well, there

50:50

you go. I don't believe that. Good

50:52

time is. Well, well, what, maybe they've

50:55

changed their format and decided, wait, who

50:57

works on their show now? Oh, we

50:59

know, Marmelstein works on, erks on her

51:02

show, and so does somebody else. Where

51:04

are we talking about getting her in

51:06

here? Oh, yeah, I want to, uh,

51:09

see if we get Chelsea. is not

51:11

hosting I'm a celebrity get me out

51:13

of here that's me although I was

51:16

watching that and I saw the chick

51:18

on that yeah I thought she doesn't

51:20

seem like all that here's what happened

51:23

which I couldn't talk about because of

51:25

course they hadn't cashed everybody you were

51:27

gonna do I'm a celebrity guy I

51:30

was close I had a you know

51:32

how it is I had a meeting

51:34

with the with the production company and

51:37

with some guy from NBC who had

51:39

requested me. And it was over an

51:41

hour long meeting. Wow. And they were

51:44

just meeting a few people and it

51:46

was very positive. Then I had, this

51:48

was maybe two and a half months

51:51

ago, I just looked a little chubby

51:53

and they did not know I was

51:55

pregnant. And I thought, do you think

51:58

they're going to want to drop? pregnant

52:01

girl in the middle of the

52:03

coast wreak in jungle or were

52:05

they rather ensure somebody so yes

52:07

but i didn't i so i

52:09

had to tell him and then

52:11

i never heard from again but

52:13

i don't blame them pregnancies incongruing

52:15

with that show that's yeah i'm

52:17

back five years later i can

52:20

do this time But I thought,

52:22

well, you know, I can still

52:24

work pregnant. Who doesn't want to?

52:26

But it turns out a lot

52:28

of people don't want to. I'm

52:30

going in, by the way, I've

52:32

been watching that show a little,

52:34

I'm going in with like the

52:36

Delta Force to get Lou Diamond

52:38

Phillips out of there. Like, I'm

52:41

going to be like one of

52:43

those 80s Chuck Norris, who's come

52:45

on buddy, we're going home. Now

52:47

why do you want to get

52:49

him out? You don't deserve this

52:51

humiliation. He's too good for that.

52:53

Me and like Chuck Norris and

52:55

Randall Tex Cobb and about five

52:57

other guys are going to be,

52:59

are going to, Huey, helicopter, repelling

53:01

down. Think, I think Predator meets.

53:04

Predator meets one of those like

53:06

hostage Chuck Norris, you know, missing

53:08

an action movie. It's just me

53:10

and like Jesse the body Ventura

53:12

and stuff and we're just going

53:14

in there. One Indian guy doesn't

53:16

speak who uses a knife. Yeah,

53:18

you can pencils. And we're yeah,

53:20

we're gonna go in there and

53:22

we're just gonna get Lou Diamond

53:25

out of there and it's gonna

53:27

be. Part of it's going to

53:29

be like a hostage, you know,

53:31

sort of radon and tepi thing,

53:33

but the other part of it's

53:35

going to be like one of

53:37

those cult extractions. I was going

53:39

to say he's kind of like

53:41

a paddy hearse. Paddy hearse, like

53:43

you don't know, Lou, Lou, you're,

53:45

you're, you're, you're in Labomba, look

53:48

around. Please, look around, you're with

53:50

Spidey for the love of it.

53:52

What? You know, I need an

53:54

etherag. duct tape

53:56

and some some some able-bodied

53:58

like know guys and

54:00

we're guns too too

54:02

come with me

54:04

come on come on

54:06

don't know you need a need a B team

54:09

is back on the mainland taking

54:11

care of his agent his agent who did

54:13

this to him this to It's a

54:15

good idea, it's good opportunity. it's good

54:17

opportunity right the Stockholm got the he's falling in

54:19

love with his captor. So it's one

54:21

of falling in the phone rings and

54:23

it's one of these things too were like the

54:25

the pistol and that's Lou be

54:28

baby, how the pistol under You're

54:30

doing that thing with to change your heart. to change

54:33

your a memento spot that's hanging in

54:35

the balance. How about you hop on

54:37

the first flight and make you hop Costa

54:39

Rica? And you're doing that thing where

54:41

you're nodding. Rica? good, very good. They don't

54:43

do that move anymore. They used to

54:45

do it in every third movie that

54:47

about every second used to do it in every third and

54:50

everything where it's like, I'm sitting in

54:52

the room and manics like, you

54:54

put my and And it's like, there's a

54:56

knock on the door like, I'm gonna do that

54:58

thing room, right. I'm going to just on the other side.

55:00

other side of the jam be very very quiet and be natural.

55:02

if you if you do anything. come on a gun to

55:04

blazing. I swear through the 80s when I would the 80s, when

55:06

I would knock on someone's door, I

55:08

would still, just from watching those shows, would

55:10

have to peek my head in just

55:12

to see if there was a guy standing

55:15

just out of of shot with a gun.

55:17

Hella, you know know what to do. No funny

55:19

business. up Pick up the phone, but no

55:21

funny business. And And in every TV show,

55:23

in every movie, no one ever went

55:25

like, like... Oh, hey, I hey, oh, said, hey, there's

55:27

a guy, there's a guy, there's a guy, they've they

55:29

never did it. never did even when the

55:31

cops would show up at the door. up

55:33

at the we heard some we heard some rustling, it's

55:35

fine our fine. you think to yourself, bitch,

55:37

you take one step forward and there's

55:39

two cops standing there. Come on now.

55:42

forward Everything's fine. two cops the cops would show

55:44

up and they would still do it? fine.

55:46

Remember the them. They don't do that

55:48

anymore. would show All right, and got another call?

55:50

do it? Yes, I I do, This is

55:52

hold a second, this is you there? are

55:54

you there? going on going on

55:56

guys? What's happening, Brett? Brett? Hey,

55:58

listen, I I know - the podcast or whatever.

56:00

Can I speak freely here? Like is there

56:03

any censorship? No. Good, because on my podcast

56:05

there's no censorship either. Okay, listen, I love

56:07

NBC. I think they're a great company. Fuck

56:09

Heidi Montag, Fuck Spencer Pratt, leave them in

56:11

the fucking jungle, Fuck them, Fuck NBC for

56:13

even thinking of putting them on there. It's

56:15

boring. I hope no one watches it. The

56:17

ratings dropped right after the first episode. I

56:19

hope they literally get a zero point zero

56:22

point zero rating rating. Are you upset that

56:24

Lou Diamond Phillips is there? No, I'm upset

56:26

that they're doing the show all together. I

56:28

think, you know, I think that they do

56:30

these reality shows and they bring all these,

56:32

you know, so and so, has-bins on. Pretty

56:34

much embarrassing them. They're on there for a

56:36

quick buck, but it's not all has-bins, which

56:38

is kind of the thing. Yeah, you know,

56:40

you know, it's kind of sad to see

56:43

people with talent doing something. that makes you

56:45

know we kind of humiliates them but then

56:47

again they did volunteer to do it and

56:49

i guess you know you do what you

56:51

have to do to stay in a spot

56:53

like i don't know i'm not famous i

56:55

do my podcast without my pants on i'm

56:57

never gonna be known you know what i

56:59

mean somebody asked me if they asked me

57:02

to be on that show which i took

57:04

as it's marginally insult thing I thought, fuck

57:06

you. Yeah, but you know what, Adam, Adam,

57:08

listen, you're not a has-been. Yeah, you're not

57:10

even close to being that. You are where

57:12

it's at, and listen, I think your podcast

57:14

is great. You do not have to subject

57:16

yourself to shit like that. I podcast, too,

57:18

and you know, if they offered me to

57:21

be on that show, I would go on

57:23

there simply to break hiding Montag's ribs, and

57:25

I'm not for violence towards women at all.

57:27

Talk the Hills. I do have a podcast.

57:29

Do you have a good podcast? Hey Brett,

57:31

what was your question? Well, my initial question,

57:33

I wanted to know if you liked doing

57:35

a podcast more than a regular radio show

57:37

simply because of the non-censorship thing, because you

57:39

could pretty much do whatever you want. So

57:42

how much better do you like doing podcast?

57:44

being on terrestrial radio. Put him on hold

57:46

just because he's asked his question and sometimes

57:48

the lines go bad. For me it's a

57:50

any time you can do things roughly on

57:52

your own schedule it's a thousand times better

57:54

and I don't give a shit if it's

57:56

eating ice cream getting a blow job or

57:58

doing a podcast. If somebody... You just described

58:01

as honeymoon. If somebody... How are you going?

58:03

No pun intended. Honey don't move, you gotta

58:05

knock over the banana split. Keep your heads

58:07

steady. The point is this. Look, everyone loves

58:09

an ice cream Sunday, let's say. But if

58:11

someone said, look, at 6 a.m. every morning,

58:13

you have to get up and eat an

58:15

ice cream Sunday. Buy Wednesday that week, you

58:17

could be, fuck this. You know what I

58:19

mean? So just the notion that you can

58:22

kind of do it on your own pace

58:24

for any job makes whatever job you're doing

58:26

twice as good. So even if you hate

58:28

your shitty job at a fast food joint,

58:30

if your boss says, let me enter in

58:32

when you're ready. And if you don't feel

58:34

like coming in on Wednesday, don't come in

58:36

on Wednesday. automatically it's better but then obviously

58:38

the censorship part is great and obviously not

58:41

having to you know deal with Jack Silver

58:43

and the rest of the suits and all

58:45

the suggestions and all that kind of stuff

58:47

that's all better and just conversationally for me

58:49

It is what, I think it's where my

58:51

strengths lie. And as I've used the analogy

58:53

more than once, I think people say comedy

58:55

or hey, the guy's funny, but it's like

58:57

saying the guy's good at sport. It's like,

58:59

well, what sport or what sports is he

59:02

good at? We all know Tiger Woods would

59:04

get his ass kicked by a guy that

59:06

wasn't even ranked in boxing, just because he's

59:08

not a boxer. That's not his sport, and

59:10

he'd probably... always amazes me,

59:12

by the way, when

59:14

you see these guys,

59:16

these world -class athletes,

59:18

these guys in the

59:21

NBA who are some

59:23

of the greatest athletes

59:25

in the world, and

59:27

they show up at

59:29

the charity softball game,

59:31

and they look like

59:33

they can barely swing

59:35

a bat. They just

59:37

throw out the first

59:39

pitch of Dodgers' Game

59:42

or whatever, like they're

59:44

out of place completely.

59:46

Right, except for if

59:48

I bounce three to

59:50

the plate on it.

59:52

But yeah, that. Which

59:54

you can't see on

59:56

YouTube on the Adam

59:58

Cole website. Oh, you

1:00:01

can. Yes, it's linked

1:00:03

up from Kimmel's show.

1:00:05

There you go. So

1:00:07

the point, I'm sure

1:00:09

with some horribly embarrassing

1:00:11

commentary provided by Jimmy

1:00:13

Kimmel as well, but

1:00:15

the point is this,

1:00:17

good athletes, even if

1:00:20

they're good athletes, still

1:00:22

have their sport. Sure,

1:00:24

a fencer and a

1:00:26

power lifter and a

1:00:28

basketball player and an

1:00:30

ice skater are all

1:00:32

athletic. Extremely athletic. Right,

1:00:34

and all would fail

1:00:36

horribly at each other's

1:00:38

sports. Right. So for

1:00:41

me, sitting around and

1:00:43

doing this is probably

1:00:45

my sport versus doing

1:00:47

a sitcom or doing

1:00:49

a, I don't know

1:00:51

what, what doing a

1:00:53

late night show or

1:00:55

doing whatever. So not

1:00:57

only do I like

1:01:00

the scheduling part, not

1:01:02

only do I like

1:01:04

the sort of freedom

1:01:06

to say what I

1:01:08

want part, but I

1:01:10

also feeds into my

1:01:12

sport well. Who's been

1:01:14

your best guest recently?

1:01:16

Besides us. Besides you

1:01:18

guys? What's interesting

1:01:21

to you guys? Geez. Well, Francis

1:01:23

Ford Coppola was was pretty, pretty

1:01:25

interesting guy. mean, I'd have to

1:01:27

say him just for namesake and

1:01:29

for interest sake. saw the area

1:01:31

him. How much you hated him?

1:01:33

Do you have a dream guest

1:01:35

for your podcast? Let's

1:01:39

see. I should get more involved.

1:01:41

I got to get Baldwin on

1:01:43

this show. He was supposed to

1:01:45

come on. We were ships in

1:01:47

the night when he was out

1:01:49

here shooting a movie for for

1:01:51

three weeks and I was doing

1:01:53

my pilot and we couldn't make

1:01:55

it happen. Guys like that are

1:01:57

are the best. I haven't really

1:01:59

gone out and chased anyone. I've

1:02:02

left. that. all up to Mike

1:02:04

August. What about musicians like like jamming

1:02:06

for a while? for a while? Yeah, we haven't

1:02:08

know we haven't haven't done any

1:02:10

music I saw a Dexter on from the offspring I daddy

1:02:12

played. Dexter came in here and was

1:02:14

was more of a offspring by the way

1:02:16

thing, live bass. the way, great live wanted to hang out

1:02:18

just wanted to hang out was so I

1:02:20

told him if he was and out to

1:02:22

do Kevin and Bean out from Orange

1:02:24

County, so I said why don't you just

1:02:26

keep driving and come to my house come

1:02:28

to we'll do an and then we'll do an we'll

1:02:31

do you can sit in you can sit

1:02:33

in and then we'll And then we'll go

1:02:35

out with with Greg and then we'll

1:02:37

go out and eat we'll Mexican food,

1:02:39

eat some which did do. He makes

1:02:42

a delightful hot sauce, by the

1:02:44

way. sauce. By the way. His Ringo Bandito. Yeah, gringo

1:02:46

bandito. Yeah, his whole story was, I

1:02:48

I guess he has a kid

1:02:50

and at some point his nanny

1:02:52

was rendered obsolete and he he wanted

1:02:54

to keep her going. going. So I said,

1:02:57

do do anything else besides rare, rare

1:02:59

kids? And said, make hot sauce. And sauce.

1:03:02

making so he started making hot

1:03:04

sauce. Bottle it up. I up. I see you

1:03:06

think I see you holding on to Olga. Well past

1:03:08

where the the kids are in college. college. Yeah,

1:03:10

oh yeah, she's, I may just

1:03:13

marry her since kids get

1:03:15

off to since she Yeah. She's

1:03:17

good. She's good college. Yeah, she's good,

1:03:19

still in touch. people and she's still

1:03:21

in nanny family. the, with

1:03:23

makes me feel a little jealous, you

1:03:25

know mean, spending the weekend with them. me are

1:03:28

they? a little jealous. there. know

1:03:30

not so cute twins. How's that gonna

1:03:32

be at the nest? the nest. been nice

1:03:34

to get to get all out of the way

1:03:36

with the the twins. uncute twins. And now you cute

1:03:38

ones, these. Now you got to the to constantly pressure

1:03:40

her on how much she loves our

1:03:42

kids more than our old family. much

1:03:44

That's good times. more than her

1:03:46

old family. That's good times. All right,

1:03:49

does Adam Kullis Adam 68 come up coming

1:03:51

up next we have Adam

1:03:53

Cruller Show Kullis show 666 with Ben Folds, Alsarosa

1:03:55

This one's from 2011, showcases how

1:03:57

the 2011. It Alison Rosen the news girl

1:03:59

slot. hope you guys enjoy this one.

1:04:02

I feel like crap. I'll explain

1:04:04

in a second. Good day, Baldbrine.

1:04:06

May I urinate off your balcony?

1:04:08

Good day, Alston Rosen. Hello, Adam

1:04:10

Frola. All right, so what's wrong

1:04:12

with me? Do you see my

1:04:14

eyes? Yes, they're all bloodshot. Yes,

1:04:16

you see my eyes, Baldbrine. High,

1:04:18

dude. Yeah. He actually might be.

1:04:20

Couple things working in that department.

1:04:22

First off, Ben Folds coming in

1:04:24

here, always excited to see Ben

1:04:26

Folds, and he's going to be

1:04:28

playing, I think this time we

1:04:30

have our keyboard set up for

1:04:32

him. All right, I will be

1:04:34

semi honest with the audience and

1:04:37

tell them that in about three

1:04:39

or four weeks, I have to

1:04:41

go to New York for a

1:04:43

project that's going to last few

1:04:45

weeks. and uh... it's a good-sized

1:04:47

project and i have a bunch

1:04:49

of nagging things my meniscus i

1:04:51

wanted to get my lacing surgery

1:04:53

wife i have my wife there's

1:04:55

the kids uh... there is uh...

1:04:57

couple of wisdom teeth that at

1:04:59

the ripe old age of 47

1:05:01

need to be removed. I feel

1:05:03

like I've gotten all the knowledge

1:05:05

out of them that I need.

1:05:07

It's the right time. Now time

1:05:09

to jettison them. And I have

1:05:11

a bunch of stuff. And I,

1:05:13

and don't worry about the podcast,

1:05:16

it will continue. We'll do it

1:05:18

from New York, but the point

1:05:20

is this. I had a bunch

1:05:22

of stuff where I thought, okay,

1:05:24

it's time to clean this stuff

1:05:26

up before I split. And as

1:05:28

I say, throw a party at

1:05:30

your house twice a year. It'll

1:05:32

force you to dush out the

1:05:34

dump. You know what I mean?

1:05:36

If you never throw, I mean

1:05:38

it, like you'll do that thing.

1:05:40

Yeah, well you go, I need

1:05:42

to throw a party at my

1:05:44

house because it'll force you and

1:05:46

whoever you're living with just to

1:05:48

doosh that place out. You'll clean

1:05:50

it better than you've ever cleaned

1:05:52

it. You'll clean it again after

1:05:54

everyone leaves. And you'll get all

1:05:57

that junk that's been sitting in

1:05:59

the entry hall. and piling

1:06:01

up, it'll force you to clean it. That's

1:06:03

why I have a party in my vagina

1:06:05

twice yearly. That's right. It's like... It's like...

1:06:07

Ironically, it's never cleaner than just for the

1:06:09

party. White folk are allowed to attend these

1:06:11

parties too. That's the difference. The thing is,

1:06:13

it's like... White folk are allowed to attend

1:06:16

these parties too. That's the difference. The thing

1:06:18

is, it's like selling it. That's basically it.

1:06:20

So I said, look, I'm going out of

1:06:22

town, I got about three weeks, I got

1:06:24

a bad knee, I got bad eyes, I

1:06:26

got a toothache, I'm going to start taking

1:06:28

care of this stuff. So we start with

1:06:30

the meniscus and now I roll right into

1:06:32

this lacic surgery and the lacic surgery, a

1:06:35

little more... Did you have done today? Had

1:06:37

it done today, yeah. I don't think you

1:06:39

think yourself is a heavy weight, but you're

1:06:41

not supposed, you know, you know, you know,

1:06:43

you know, I only took three vitur, I

1:06:45

only took three vike, three viket, a, a,

1:06:47

a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

1:06:49

a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

1:06:51

a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

1:06:54

a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a,

1:06:56

a, a, a, a, a, a You

1:06:59

know, it's supposed to be rubbing or touching

1:07:01

or looking? I mean... Oh. Yeah, I was...

1:07:03

I almost had... You ironically eyeball me, son?

1:07:05

That's right. I almost had the lazy surgery

1:07:08

and the preamble, the lead-up, the instruction from

1:07:10

the nurses? Yeah,

1:07:12

a lot of instruction. It's long. Yeah,

1:07:15

yeah, all right, I'll try not to

1:07:17

touch it. The point is this, the

1:07:19

show must go on, but it was

1:07:22

more painful than I thought when I

1:07:24

got home and I had it late

1:07:26

in the afternoon. So it's only been

1:07:29

a few hours, so I grabbed a

1:07:31

few viket in because they told me

1:07:33

to keep my eyes closed for two

1:07:36

hours. How was the actual procedure though?

1:07:38

Because you had to keep your eyes

1:07:40

open for it. uncomfortable but it's not

1:07:43

painful it's it's like anytime you get

1:07:45

a procedure done there's two indexes there's

1:07:47

the pain index and the uncomfortable index

1:07:50

like you know index finger up your

1:07:52

ass not as uncomfortable as pulling a

1:07:54

metal shard out of your heel but

1:07:57

on the on the index of discomfort

1:07:59

versus pain you know you know you

1:08:01

know not entirely parallel lines like they

1:08:04

intersect. Oh yeah, oh no, absolutely. And

1:08:06

look, most people would rather get punched

1:08:08

by Mike Tyson than walk out and

1:08:11

give a best man's toast with their

1:08:13

cock hanging out. You know what I

1:08:15

mean? One is uncomfortable, the other's painful,

1:08:18

but the pain sometimes better. and we'd

1:08:20

all rather have some guy shoot our

1:08:22

toe up with novacane and reset it

1:08:25

after we dislocated versus do the you

1:08:27

know clockwork orange thing you know it's

1:08:29

just and that's where the dentistry stuff

1:08:32

comes in too it's a bitch so

1:08:35

You know, they do the best they

1:08:37

can do and they hold your eyes

1:08:39

open, but they're dumping things in your

1:08:41

eyes while your eyes are held open

1:08:43

and look. I just backed up because

1:08:45

you held your eyes open real wide

1:08:47

and I saw what's going on. Oh,

1:08:49

don't do it. There's a lot of

1:08:51

redness up there. All right. The point

1:08:53

is this. I have to get Ben

1:08:56

Stein on the line. Let's get this

1:08:58

straightened out. so you know it's always

1:09:00

a little more than than you bargain

1:09:02

for but on the other hand if

1:09:04

you would told folks uh... the ones

1:09:06

that survived the donor party hey you

1:09:08

know how you're seeing is you know

1:09:10

horrible and you can't read even if

1:09:12

you could read and things like that

1:09:14

10 minutes of discomfort with a couple

1:09:16

of drops and you'll be right, you

1:09:19

know, we're spoiled dicks. I mean, the

1:09:21

idea of not having to wear glasses

1:09:23

for the next 20 years is pretty

1:09:25

nice for an afternoon of mild discomfort.

1:09:27

But there are certain things that I

1:09:29

don't believe the human body was meant

1:09:31

to do. You're not... You're not supposed

1:09:33

to have four people standing around you

1:09:35

holding your eyeballs open with an apparatus

1:09:37

and then dumping things into it. There's

1:09:40

a reflex. It's sort of why you

1:09:42

can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

1:09:44

It's just a certain point your body

1:09:46

just does it. So anyway, had that

1:09:48

done, I got a little vicod in

1:09:50

me, I'm not going to lie. So

1:09:52

we got that to look forward to

1:09:54

tonight. went to the dentist today to

1:09:56

talk about the wisdom toothpole. And I

1:09:58

just want to say this to everyone

1:10:01

who's in a position of power or

1:10:03

authority when you're dealing with people that

1:10:05

are feeling a little nervous and apprehensive.

1:10:07

There's many ways you can approach this.

1:10:09

A lot of people do a lot

1:10:11

of like, oh man, oh boy, you

1:10:13

know, you're exacerbating the situation, which is,

1:10:15

oh boy, how's that? You know, as

1:10:17

I mentioned, you know, I got to

1:10:19

the racetrack, I had a bunch of

1:10:22

people come up to me and go,

1:10:24

oh man, how you're going to keep

1:10:26

up with John Morden's time, and I

1:10:28

hit a wall about 20 minutes later,

1:10:30

you know, instead of, hey man, you

1:10:32

can drive, have fun out fun out

1:10:34

there, have fun out there, you know.

1:10:36

He goes, there's the right side of

1:10:38

your mouth. He puts a big R

1:10:40

there. And he goes, here's the left.

1:10:43

I said, no need to mark the

1:10:45

left. Once you've established a right, we'll

1:10:47

do the math. Not a lot of

1:10:49

options after that. He started laughing. He

1:10:51

said, you got a wisdom tooth back

1:10:53

here that's no good. The other one,

1:10:55

I don't even know what it's doing

1:10:57

there. So while I'm there kind of

1:10:59

thing, might as we'll get that. And

1:11:01

then you got a post. You got

1:11:03

two posts. One of them looks good

1:11:06

and the other one doesn't look good.

1:11:08

So I'm going to get rid of

1:11:10

the two wisdom teeth and the post.

1:11:12

I'll knock you out. You won't even

1:11:14

know what happened. I'll do this in

1:11:16

20 minutes. This is nothing. And I

1:11:18

just remember when he left I went

1:11:20

like, oh. Thank you. I feel just

1:11:22

that, just that thing of like, you'll

1:11:24

be under, you won't even know what

1:11:27

happened. I may, I may take a,

1:11:29

I may take a hit off a

1:11:31

flask before I do this. I'm so

1:11:33

fucking confident myself. Like, just a well

1:11:35

put together guy. just giving you, oh

1:11:37

yeah, that's nothing, without all the sort

1:11:39

of judging and the, well what happened

1:11:41

here, and the, geez, how long has

1:11:43

it been, or the, why didn't you

1:11:45

come see, and when was the last

1:11:48

time, and do you do a lot

1:11:50

of flossing, and if not, maybe you

1:11:52

should, you know, wasn't all

1:11:54

that preamble. was just,

1:11:56

just, uh, that one, that

1:11:58

one, they're going 20

1:12:00

minutes minutes teeth, not

1:12:02

it That's right. And

1:12:04

you'll be under.

1:12:06

So who cares? you'll be

1:12:09

uh, I was

1:12:11

like, And I was felt good about

1:12:13

that. about that. Then when, eyeballs

1:12:15

blasted immediately after that. Now

1:12:17

it's weird now it's weird because I just

1:12:19

had had this procedure like hours

1:12:21

ago so my vision isn't great,

1:12:23

but when I put my

1:12:25

glasses on to read something something, it

1:12:28

gets worse. So I'm a little little

1:12:30

in between. I want to talk about

1:12:32

my good friends over at

1:12:34

over at Sports Legends Live. of the

1:12:36

old of the old cliches? Watching those stupid

1:12:38

games, all those fat fat an

1:12:41

around. This is the This Football

1:12:43

League. league. And know, they do that

1:12:45

stuff where they go where they

1:12:47

you know, you know, in high school?

1:12:49

in high school? Doesn't change what

1:12:51

goes on on Sunday Doesn't

1:12:53

affect the affect score

1:12:55

the game? The You know who wins

1:12:57

the game, the team, who scores

1:12:59

the most BS. It's all that nonsense. It's all that

1:13:02

nonsense. It's all true, but it's

1:13:04

all ridiculous. Yes, it's all. That's why why it's Yeah.

1:13:06

If Yeah. true, if it wasn't

1:13:08

true, if it was just you know, said, you

1:13:10

know, the team that wins the most is

1:13:12

a a team that eats the most mushrooms.

1:13:14

Like, would make it interesting. interesting. you know,

1:13:16

they do a thing where do a thing where fourth

1:13:18

you got more points than they do, you

1:13:20

win the they right. the game?

1:13:22

All right. Not even fun facts. No, no,

1:13:24

that's why some genius came

1:13:27

up with Sports came up with Sports

1:13:29

You can hang out and

1:13:31

talk to actual sports legends, Right.

1:13:33

Sports Legends SportsLegendsLive .com. you do So

1:13:35

what you do is watch a

1:13:37

to watch a game, you

1:13:39

want to enjoy the game. You

1:13:41

log on to to Legends .com

1:13:43

during the game you you pick

1:13:46

your game. You pick your

1:13:48

legend you ask then you ask questions,

1:13:50

you share comments. like Jay like

1:13:52

J from the Dallas Cowboys best friend.

1:13:54

By the way, there's a By the

1:13:56

way, Irving Bowl ring. Irving Fryer, Irving

1:13:58

in the the Super Bowl. like

1:14:01

on a chili bowl the day

1:14:03

before. I don't remember all the

1:14:05

details. Willie Galt bears 85. Fastest

1:14:08

guy on the planet for a

1:14:10

long time. And more. Hmm. Sean

1:14:12

Salisbury. Where'd he go? Oh, right.

1:14:15

Fresno State. All right. Even if

1:14:17

you're at the stadium, you can

1:14:20

use your smartphone or your tablet.

1:14:22

It's unbelievable. What the heck kind

1:14:24

of time are we living in?

1:14:27

It's pretty amazing. You can interact

1:14:29

with them too, like ask them

1:14:32

questions. It's pretty fantastic. And I

1:14:34

will call it very, very reasonable.

1:14:36

Sports Legends Live.com. That's right. It's

1:14:39

like having a legend in your

1:14:41

living room. All right, shall we

1:14:43

push forward? I want to tell

1:14:46

you guys something. Could be the

1:14:48

Vicky talking. Oh good. But let

1:14:51

me let me just say this

1:14:53

and at the risk I

1:14:56

know sometimes, there's a double-edged sword talking

1:14:59

about money, which is, oh, you're bragging

1:15:01

about your money. On the other hand,

1:15:03

a lot of celebrities don't talk about

1:15:05

money or how much things cost, and

1:15:08

they just sort of pretend to be

1:15:10

poor and one of everyone else. And

1:15:12

I decided a long time ago, listen,

1:15:14

if whatever somebody pays me to do

1:15:17

a commercial or something, or whatever they

1:15:19

pay you to do, whatever, I'll tell

1:15:21

you. But I'll find out and tell

1:15:23

you. No, I'll tell you on a

1:15:26

commercial or whatever it is. And unless

1:15:28

they specifically say don't. But, you know,

1:15:30

talking about money is always weird and

1:15:32

it's always like, well, you're talking about

1:15:35

money and there's people there trying to

1:15:37

make ends meet and all that kind

1:15:39

of stuff. I was,

1:15:41

I'm attempting or in the process of

1:15:44

selling a warehouse and buying another warehouse

1:15:46

which is much closer to this warehouse

1:15:48

and it'll just be a dedicated race

1:15:51

shop, just all the car stuff, all

1:15:53

the tools. Right now this place is

1:15:55

a sort of mishmash. tools and woodworking

1:15:57

stuff and broadcasting stuff and actually expanding

1:16:00

this building another studio building another control

1:16:02

room having some edit bays really taking

1:16:04

the age broadcasting to the next level

1:16:06

right now it's hard because there's a

1:16:09

band saw right behind where Dawson would

1:16:11

be expanding to and there's all of

1:16:13

the cars and all the crap and

1:16:15

all the job. we can have the

1:16:18

hair dry bar. Yes. So speaking of

1:16:20

blowing, you got to earn that bar.

1:16:22

The point is this. There's another warehouse.

1:16:25

It's nearby and I want it. And

1:16:27

right now, banks ain't handing out loans.

1:16:29

And every time I talk to my

1:16:31

realtor, you know, it's a lot of,

1:16:34

well, you know, it's not like it

1:16:36

was and they want 30% down, you

1:16:38

know, they want a large down payment

1:16:40

and they're really checking everyone else, you

1:16:43

know, with a fine tooth comb, and

1:16:45

you know, they're not handing them out

1:16:47

like they got burned and a lot

1:16:49

of people foreclosed and they missed their

1:16:52

payments, all that kind of stuff. So

1:16:54

that's the climate we're living in we're

1:16:56

living in now. We're living in now.

1:16:59

We're living in now. I've been here

1:17:01

in the same store for the last

1:17:03

whatever two or three months. It's the

1:17:05

same thing. It's never like, oh no,

1:17:08

it was, no like it was, no

1:17:10

like it was. Nothing ever seems to

1:17:12

be like it was, by the way,

1:17:14

in your favor. It's not like it

1:17:17

was. It's much better now. You're in

1:17:19

luck. Right. Unless you're black. But I

1:17:21

know what you're saying. and so you're

1:17:23

getting the speech of you know i'm

1:17:26

saying look if i could give twenty

1:17:28

percent down instead of twenty five or

1:17:30

thirty percent down that would save me

1:17:33

some pretty good money i'm not that

1:17:35

worried about the payment but the big

1:17:37

nut that i'm putting down up front

1:17:39

if we keep it to twenty percent

1:17:42

that'd be awesome and blah blah and

1:17:44

i'm getting a lot of people and

1:17:46

i thought why isn't it based on

1:17:48

my personal past performance right You know,

1:17:51

I'm not a guy whose wife worked

1:17:53

at a supermarket bagging groceries and I

1:17:55

worked over at the Budweiser Brewery and

1:17:57

then we got in over our head

1:18:00

in a house in Sherman Oaks and

1:18:02

the next you know she laid off

1:18:04

and I missed a few payments and

1:18:07

everything's been repossessed and I thought this

1:18:09

is the simplest thing in the world

1:18:11

you look you turn on a computer

1:18:13

you look at forget about what anyone

1:18:16

else around me has done or in

1:18:18

my neighborhood or anywhere else you just

1:18:20

look at me treat me like a

1:18:22

student Well, it's not like, well, the

1:18:25

guy sitting next to you had a

1:18:27

lower GPA, so now yours is being

1:18:29

dry. Right. Just look at mine and

1:18:31

then base it simply on the merits

1:18:34

of whatever I've done for good or

1:18:36

for bad. Right. And by the way,

1:18:38

when it is bad, like you've had

1:18:41

a couple of bankruptcies or something, they

1:18:43

do hold that against you. So just

1:18:45

punch up my fucking file and take

1:18:47

a look at it. And here is

1:18:50

a brief. but super long overview of

1:18:52

my buying history and and yet again

1:18:54

neither here nor there in first house

1:18:56

I bought here and there by that

1:18:59

this is especially like pertinent right to

1:19:01

your buying goals well for me for

1:19:03

me it's pertinent in the I don't

1:19:06

like what our society has become I

1:19:08

don't like the fact that everyone just

1:19:10

gets lumped into one thing it's you

1:19:12

know it's the It's seeing my five-year-old

1:19:15

daughter have to kick off her flip-flops

1:19:17

and send them through the x-ray machine.

1:19:19

It's seeing, you know, Sandy Duncan's grandmother

1:19:21

getting patted down after she's lifted out

1:19:24

of her wheelchair. You know what I

1:19:26

mean? It's like this one-size-fits-all. We know

1:19:28

you're not Al-Qaeda, and we know you've

1:19:30

never defaulted on a loan, but you

1:19:33

still have to go through the same

1:19:35

shit, just like you. Well, it's essentially

1:19:37

you being punished for something you didn't

1:19:40

do, which I don't like. All right.

1:19:42

I bought my first house at the

1:19:44

end of 96 and it was about

1:19:46

350K and the payment was $3,000 a

1:19:49

month. And by the way, I'm not

1:19:51

even going to add this up because

1:19:53

it's going to make me cry. I

1:19:55

bought a condo next. you when I

1:19:58

sell something. I didn't sell anything. Do

1:20:00

you remember how much you put down

1:20:02

that first house? Is 3,000 really high

1:20:04

for a $350,000 house, isn't it? No,

1:20:07

I'm sorry. The payment was $3,000. A

1:20:09

month. The down payment. Yeah, I don't.

1:20:11

Oh, down payment. I don't remember what

1:20:14

the down payment was. It was 20,

1:20:16

25%. Isn't 3,000 really high? I don't

1:20:18

know. Maybe I... Who knows? Yeah, it

1:20:20

was 96 and maybe I did a

1:20:23

20 year loan or whatever it was.

1:20:25

And maybe it was 2,900 or whatever

1:20:27

it is. I got a second mortgage

1:20:29

by the way on the place because

1:20:32

I had to finish it. I was

1:20:34

doing construction. It went up to like...

1:20:36

borrowed like another hundred grand and went

1:20:38

up to like four thousand. Then I

1:20:41

bought a condo for like a hundred

1:20:43

and fifty grand and that payment was

1:20:45

like only like eight or nine hundred

1:20:48

bucks a month. Then I bought the

1:20:50

party house. The party house was in

1:20:52

Sherman Oaks. That party house is like

1:20:54

700. 700k or something and the payments

1:20:57

were like five thousand six thousand a

1:20:59

month again top of my head sort

1:21:01

of stuff then I bought this warehouse

1:21:03

that we're in was like five sixty

1:21:06

five sixty five payments for about four

1:21:08

or five thousand dollars a month how

1:21:10

long ago was that That was about

1:21:12

six, seven years ago. You have to

1:21:15

ask Donnie when he moved in his

1:21:17

first minibike. Then when we're doing the

1:21:19

TV show, I bought my dad's old

1:21:22

house for about $8.50 and those payments

1:21:24

were like five, six grand a month.

1:21:26

Then... I bought a

1:21:28

huge warehouse, it's actually where I shot

1:21:31

the boxing scenes, it's the one I'm

1:21:33

selling now, where I shot the boxing

1:21:35

scenes for the hammer, that thing was

1:21:38

like 2.3 million bucks or something, and

1:21:40

with association fees, because it's like a

1:21:42

kind of, it's like $18,000 a month.

1:21:44

What warehouse association is there? If you're

1:21:47

in certain kinds of warehouses, there's sort

1:21:49

of like conduit warehouses. Sounds like a

1:21:51

bob thing. The point is, I sold

1:21:53

the party house at a certain point.

1:21:56

can't remember, but it was, I think

1:21:58

I sold it after the warehouse. Can't

1:22:00

recall. Then there's the house I'm living

1:22:03

in now, that house was like 1.6

1:22:05

million bucks or something, that payment. That

1:22:07

payment was like, uh... eight grand a

1:22:09

month and then raise stupid house you

1:22:12

want me to go in on for

1:22:14

something they was gonna flip that never

1:22:16

worked out that thing was like five

1:22:19

I don't know like Balbrine can you

1:22:21

tell me your price tell me your

1:22:23

price of your house yeah it's public

1:22:25

records right yeah it's uh well it

1:22:28

was originally listed for six ninety nine

1:22:30

and they've got it for six fifty

1:22:32

or so and what's your monthly payment

1:22:34

It's a little over 2,000. I mean,

1:22:37

that's the mortgage. But the thing is,

1:22:39

the interest rates are low right now,

1:22:41

right? And also, I think we're just

1:22:44

paying like almost all interest. Oh yeah,

1:22:46

it is all interest. But that's all

1:22:48

surprised when you said you're paying so

1:22:50

much more per month for a cheaper

1:22:53

house. But the rates must have been

1:22:55

$96. And again, some of this is

1:22:57

just, I remember it was three grand

1:23:00

a month or 2800 bucks a month

1:23:02

when I bought my first house. And

1:23:04

then I bought Malibu and Malibu was...

1:23:06

The whole town. Yeah, the whole town

1:23:09

of Malibu, that payment is like 15,000

1:23:11

bucks a month. Wow. Okay. What did

1:23:13

you buy there? A house. Yeah,

1:23:16

but you didn't hear it. Oh, that

1:23:18

house was like three six or three

1:23:21

four, three four, three four, let's say.

1:23:23

Okay, so for the last 15 years,

1:23:25

I've been paying probably an average out

1:23:27

of about $35,000 a month. i have

1:23:30

never been late i've never missed the

1:23:32

payment there's never been a problem there

1:23:34

has never been an issue as a

1:23:36

matter of fact the warehouse i'm selling

1:23:38

now at nineteen thousand bucks a month

1:23:41

the new one if and when they

1:23:43

prove it'll be more like seventy five

1:23:45

hundred bucks a month that you could

1:23:47

lop ten grand off the payment and

1:23:50

i'm just sitting here looking at all

1:23:52

these multiple problems warehouses, condos, residence, some

1:23:54

rented, some rented, some I rented out,

1:23:56

one or two I flipped. But I

1:23:58

carried a nut, just a real estate

1:24:01

nut that was close to probably about

1:24:03

$40,000 or $50,000 a month for 10

1:24:05

or 15 years. Not at the very

1:24:07

beginning, true, but I got started, I

1:24:10

got right. And the deal, never been

1:24:12

late, never missed a payment. with me

1:24:14

what kind of risk are we talking

1:24:16

about and why the fuck do i

1:24:18

have to get in line behind the

1:24:21

people that don't have this fucking history

1:24:23

and people go well what makes you

1:24:25

special well couple things this This makes

1:24:27

me special. And two, I'm not asking

1:24:30

for anything special. I'm asking for what

1:24:32

I've earned, not what you fucked up.

1:24:34

Yeah. Devil's Advocate, because I agree with

1:24:36

you, but maybe this is, maybe this

1:24:38

is it. That's an awful lot of,

1:24:41

that's a huge nut. You know what

1:24:43

I'm saying? That's right. You're over leverage,

1:24:45

but also yourself employed, which means you're

1:24:47

not getting like, they can't see the.

1:24:50

Some of these things have been sold

1:24:52

and as far as your paycheck goes

1:24:54

they just take whatever you've made over

1:24:56

the last like two or three years

1:24:58

and and do it and I'm not

1:25:01

I've not been denied I just don't

1:25:03

like having a history of paying thousands

1:25:05

and thousands and thousands of dollars in

1:25:07

never being a day late on a

1:25:10

payment and having them go well cross

1:25:12

your fingers I'll go to the bank

1:25:14

and see what they say like can't

1:25:16

those ass wipes fucking just one swipe

1:25:19

of the mouse and have that thing

1:25:21

light up like a fucking pinball machine

1:25:23

and you'll see no foreclosures and no

1:25:25

late payments and no anything and then

1:25:27

anyone with a fucking brain cell to

1:25:30

get ever just look at it and

1:25:32

go give this guy whatever he wants

1:25:34

Becky honkington wouldn't have this problem. It's

1:25:36

also like alchemy too, like it's never

1:25:39

a formula. They're always like, well, I

1:25:41

go to the bank. the guy there

1:25:43

and he knows what I wrote, good

1:25:45

loans and blah, blah, and it's like,

1:25:47

well, I hope all that works. This

1:25:50

in life, it's all you need to

1:25:52

know, and by the way, there's a

1:25:54

negative side of this. There are a

1:25:56

bunch. But they only use the negative

1:25:59

side of it. Right. So you have

1:26:01

to pass the negative sign and clear

1:26:03

the negative bar, but if you have

1:26:05

a stellar history of paying everyone, I

1:26:07

mean, even back when I rented apartments

1:26:10

and my four, you know, I had

1:26:12

nothing in the bank and I was

1:26:14

like working under the table and I

1:26:16

was doing construction and it was like,

1:26:19

I just would tell the person I've

1:26:21

never missed a payment. Like I always

1:26:23

pay. I wish we had a society

1:26:25

that was sort of constructed on that.

1:26:27

Right. Just take a look at the

1:26:30

page, see what he's done, and move

1:26:32

forward. You know, it's kind of like

1:26:34

that, and you're a big fan of

1:26:36

eBay. You know what I mean? Because

1:26:39

you carry around a number that rates

1:26:41

you, and you can go back and

1:26:43

see what everyone has said about you.

1:26:45

Fast shipper, Fast pay, or whatever it

1:26:47

is. Right. And you have a high

1:26:50

rating. Yeah. It's all rating that follows

1:26:52

you around, and that's how people judge

1:26:54

whether they want to do business with

1:26:56

you or not. Yes, yes it is.

1:26:59

If only everything was more like eBay.

1:27:01

All right, shall we do a little

1:27:03

news? I don't know where Ben folds

1:27:05

is, but when it comes in, we'll

1:27:07

bring him in. Next to Donnie's Mini

1:27:10

Bikes. This is the news with Allison

1:27:12

Rosen. Hi, this is Becky Honkington to

1:27:14

the news, but I must say, first,

1:27:16

I'm a little distracted because I made

1:27:19

the mistake, which I keep making of

1:27:21

going to the message boards last night

1:27:23

and reading the comment. And to me,

1:27:25

it's sort of like recreational drug use.

1:27:27

You can pretty much get by, you'll

1:27:30

be okay. But then all of a

1:27:32

sudden, you'll be like, uh-oh, I'm in

1:27:34

over my head. So I've been a

1:27:36

little... Yeah, I've been a little stung

1:27:39

all day. What happened? Okay, so this

1:27:41

is not the message board. This is

1:27:43

the comments on our site, which is

1:27:45

especially cruel. Pointed? Yes. So anyway, they're

1:27:47

discussing... or not I not

1:27:50

i sleep with the

1:27:52

Because, you know, why you

1:27:54

know what I not I sleep

1:27:56

with them. And then i

1:27:59

sleep with you know, so they're

1:28:01

thinking, know so they're

1:28:03

thinking i I do,

1:28:05

and then i can't

1:28:07

remember the exact

1:28:10

wording wording, but said that even the

1:28:12

ugly guess get to to

1:28:14

sleep with her if

1:28:16

they're willing chubby

1:28:19

girls are always down to - to fuck. Wow, that's

1:28:21

well, that's true, but are not chubby

1:28:23

first off and if tears come out

1:28:25

of my eyes It's only if

1:28:27

tears come out of my

1:28:29

eyes, it's only because I

1:28:31

have sympathetic pain with your -

1:28:33

I cannot see them or recognize them or

1:28:35

recognize them from this distance

1:28:37

only because of of the and the

1:28:40

procedure that I had and

1:28:42

first off off feel like

1:28:44

we need to define chubby versus husky

1:28:46

Don't Don't worry. going to come around I

1:28:48

don't better better yet. Lose the No Chubby.

1:28:50

No, now, that's a good one one

1:28:52

as I've said, said, the getting

1:28:54

and a half a half getting

1:28:56

minus four stars, not bad. stars,

1:28:59

not bad. Oh. what I'm saying? mean

1:29:01

it's I'm mean it shouldn't hurt. shouldn't

1:29:03

hurt? and just sort of just

1:29:05

sort of off. Well, see, see, thank you for

1:29:07

saying that. It's funny funny a lot of comments

1:29:10

I read. Like a that think that I'm I read.

1:29:12

that I'm this or that and that just rolls

1:29:14

off because I know I'm not dumb. or this

1:29:16

one, like, struck a that, and you feel

1:29:18

chubby? off because I know I'm I have

1:29:20

battled my weight for a year. a

1:29:23

you feel chubby like every girl feels chubby or do

1:29:25

you really think chubby I I don't know anymore.

1:29:27

my weight for honestly don't know! I can see

1:29:29

both. Feel like okay. Here's the thing.

1:29:31

I feel like every girl who thinks

1:29:33

they're chubby chubby? Doesn't

1:29:35

none of of who girl who thinks they're chubby they're really

1:29:37

chubby like there's no like mean There's probably like

1:29:39

a stick somewhere who's like oh, I'm so fat,

1:29:41

but they know deep down they aren't right But

1:29:43

I don't really know I mean I think the

1:29:46

reason that this stung is because it just brought

1:29:48

me back to like that this song is Yeah, here

1:29:50

we go, just brought ugly guys like Yeah, here

1:29:52

go they're willing. the ugly are always down

1:29:54

to fuck. Allison if they're willing chubby that

1:29:56

on the door I mean I we

1:29:58

can slap it on the door us

1:30:00

to play like champions. Okay,

1:30:03

but let's let's let's see

1:30:05

if we can deconstruct this because I've never

1:30:07

really I've I'm never really - I've

1:30:09

done this. really done this. Most

1:30:12

girls are carrying around more

1:30:14

weight than they would

1:30:16

like, certainly than society would

1:30:18

portray. would portray. Yes. you go back

1:30:20

to the media and people say, oh

1:30:23

the media the media, they keep portraying

1:30:25

women as this way and they put

1:30:27

forth these, whatever. I'm

1:30:29

not gonna say the media puts

1:30:31

it forth. I'm saying the media

1:30:33

creates it by the actual by the

1:30:35

mechanical media, which is if you're

1:30:37

not super skinny not you're on TV,

1:30:39

you look fat. on Plain and

1:30:42

simple. It's a it's a

1:30:44

it's a weird, weird It's

1:30:46

a thing that it's unfair, a

1:30:48

thing that it's unfair they

1:30:50

use on TV you, the

1:30:52

women they use on TV

1:30:55

are unnecessarily skinny Cummings is you

1:30:57

know, Whitney Cummings is unnecessarily

1:30:59

skinny in real life, looks

1:31:01

good on TV that's that's

1:31:03

the way it works. It's

1:31:06

sort of, of, I don't know, dude

1:31:08

syndrome the guys, the sort of sort

1:31:10

of Tom and the guys the guys

1:31:12

at the Jason Priestley's of

1:31:14

the world, the guys that

1:31:17

have guys that have the, they have have but

1:31:19

but but they're It's not good

1:31:21

good for people that are normal sides.

1:31:23

So you physically watch yourself

1:31:25

on TV and it it's never

1:31:28

right. Like right. huge. just look huge.

1:31:30

Number one. Number two, you're going to be

1:31:32

the size to be the size you're

1:31:34

going to be. all I mean, we've

1:31:36

all done that thing where been with that with

1:31:38

that person and that person has been

1:31:40

saying, you know, they got to lose 10

1:31:43