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ZDX. Accura. Precision, Crafted, Performance. Welcome

0:41

to Cruel Classics. I'm your

0:43

host, Superfaita and Giovanni. This

0:45

is the podcast we play

0:47

the best moments highlights and

0:49

fans like the clips from

0:52

all 15 years of the

0:54

Adam Curla Show. We have

0:56

a separate podcast to eat

0:58

titled Cruel Classics. The ad-free

1:00

archives exclusively available through Adam

1:02

Curla Substack. Make sure that.

1:04

Make sure archives exclusively available

1:06

through Adam Curla Substack. Make

1:08

sure. Make sure. Make sure. Oh,

1:14

I'm like a buzz right now from a

1:16

Buster waking up at two four and

1:18

six. And we're the first thing it

1:20

does is that recall. Like you go,

1:22

uh, you know, someone goes, what's your

1:24

address? Or what's street you live on?

1:26

Or what's your dad's name or something?

1:29

You go, uh, you know, it just

1:31

sounds like Tim. I can't run. Yeah, it's

1:33

the same as, uh, uh... Jimmy's dad's the

1:35

same name. Jim, yeah, yeah, yeah. You feel

1:37

like a fucking retard. Yeah, it's the

1:39

most basic things, like I couldn't say

1:42

ass over fist on the last show.

1:44

Yeah, that's why I want some kind

1:46

of a award or at least an

1:48

induction into the Radio Hall of Fame

1:51

for doing Stern show 50 times coming

1:53

off of love line at midnight and

1:55

starting his show at 3 AM back

1:57

at Westwood One in Culver City.

1:59

and doing a five-hour radio show

2:02

I was gonna be completely swimming

2:04

in my own juice by the

2:06

time we got the you know

2:08

hour number four I couldn't fucking

2:10

think hey uh Howard I agree with

2:12

the the black chick with the titties

2:15

is in the next room what the

2:17

hell is her name again oh god

2:19

you know it sounds like a bird

2:21

it sounds like a bird lark it's

2:24

a sparrow sparrow You literally think

2:26

of a joke, but you realize

2:28

you can't come up with Ronald

2:30

Reagan's name? Right, and it's

2:32

going to be hilarious if

2:34

you could just get that banana.

2:36

Oh, it's like the cowboy, I

2:38

rode the horse, he said, read

2:41

my lips, I'm in no way,

2:43

didn't, he said. And his

2:45

wife was like petite, and she

2:47

spent a lot of money

2:49

in decorating. Bring this wall down,

2:52

what was this thing? Oh shit,

2:54

can I want to go?

2:56

My brain doesn't work. Rubble

2:58

quivers. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Regulars.

3:00

Is that what you just said? I know. That's

3:02

funnier than what I just said. Must be nice.

3:05

Must have been funny. You know, the difference between

3:07

us is we beat ourselves up about it.

3:09

Yeah. We should talk to Donnie because Donnie

3:11

has a way of somehow skirting the part

3:13

where he beats himself up. God, I'd like to

3:15

skirt that. It's nice. We were in, we were in,

3:17

we went to Peble Beach and Donnie went on

3:20

a coffee run on a coffee run when I

3:22

went on a coffee run when I went and got

3:24

in got the car in got the car in the

3:26

car in the car in the car in the morning.

3:28

And he came back and he

3:30

handed me a small coffee and

3:32

I said, uh, small coffee and

3:35

he said, yeah. And I said, uh,

3:37

I ordered a large coffee and

3:39

he said, oh yeah. I said, Don,

3:41

have you ever, we go out to

3:43

coffee, uh, all the thing? I

3:45

heard me, order small coffee and

3:47

he went, no. And I realize,

3:50

wow. Like a dog,

3:52

shitting on a rug,

3:55

no problemo. Nothing. Completely

3:57

fine with it.

3:59

I don't know, it's like, oh fuck,

4:02

or what was I going to do,

4:04

or let me go back to doing

4:06

it. How about kicking himself? Nah, I

4:08

couldn't see it from where I was

4:11

sitting, but Donnie, that's a great thing

4:13

he got going. Yeah, well, after drinking

4:15

that much wine with you all weekend

4:18

and staying up late, and... You know,

4:20

I got to deal with all this

4:22

audio gear, the video gear. What's up

4:25

for 10 hours? Yeah, I did, I

4:27

did have some sleep. All right. Little

4:29

weed on top of that. Now why

4:31

grab the small? Because you already had

4:34

a cup in the hotel room and

4:36

then we're going to Peble Beach where

4:38

there's like a ton of food and...

4:41

I have this argument with my wife

4:43

all the time. Like, let's just say

4:45

it a crazy whim I said small.

4:48

And then you showed up with a

4:50

large, what do you throw in your

4:52

face? Like to me, all right. You

4:55

would have had a comment like, I

4:57

said small, we're gonna waste all this

4:59

coffee, right? Well, but here's the thing

5:01

about me. The prior two or three

5:04

days, I walked out there with a

5:06

large, right? Yeah. I've never ordered a

5:08

large, I've never ordered a small to

5:11

the best of your knowledge. You drink

5:13

a lot of coffee, yes. All right.

5:15

Just get a lot of coffee. All

5:18

right, but you beat yourself up pretty

5:20

good about it. Why, I just I

5:22

just walk away in chuckle, really. Yes.

5:24

I have not had that response to

5:27

any mistake I've ever made in life,

5:29

no matter how small. No, if I

5:31

said no chocolate. You should give me

5:34

coffee and make it a large. And

5:36

you walk away and handed me a

5:38

small, and I said, small, I order

5:41

a large. That's three therapy sessions about

5:43

why I can't listen, why I don't

5:45

do things well, why I'm incompetent, and

5:47

why I do everything wrong. And why

5:50

people don't like me. I would also

5:52

argue it's why you're batting average is

5:54

a little bit better in the small

5:57

and large apartment than damaged, because the

5:59

walkaway chuckling doesn't get you the large

6:01

next day. Well, the thing about beating

6:04

yourself up is you do go that

6:06

extra mile. to not fuck up in

6:08

the same way next time because it's

6:10

not so bad the first time. You

6:13

beat yourself up! You got to walk

6:15

away and chuckle more. Let me put

6:17

this way. I should and the, this

6:20

is not my quote, but the biological

6:22

purpose of pain is to prevent the

6:24

reoccurrence of stupidity. So if you feel

6:27

no pain, the stupidity recurs. If I

6:29

put my hand in a fire, blame

6:31

and it doesn't hurt. And it doesn't

6:33

hurt. That's why you should throw the

6:36

coffee at first call. You think he'd

6:38

do it another time after that? I

6:40

mean last time you got a small...

6:43

I would argue that it would probably

6:45

prevent that, yes. Yeah, pain is a

6:47

great teacher. Mm-hmm. And sometimes I just

6:50

feel pain for the fuck of it.

6:52

Yeah. But getting back to sexy stoners.

6:54

Uh-huh. Joseph Gordon-levit. You know who that

6:56

dude? Sure. I mean, third rock from

6:59

the sun. Did you guys see Inception?

7:01

I saw Inception. Did you like it?

7:03

But he's a third rock from the

7:06

sun, right? Yes, he's gone on to

7:08

be quite an adult actor. Five hundred

7:10

days of summer? Yes, he's a five

7:13

hundred days of summer. He was in...

7:15

Is that a lot of really good

7:17

movie? The best movie last summer, G.I.

7:19

Joe? He's made quite a career for

7:22

himself. And let me just say this.

7:24

From all... the people from him to

7:26

Johnny Depp to other folks that now

7:29

Jason Bateman and guys like that who

7:31

are doing kind of schmaltzy you know

7:33

sitcomy or cop drama things in the

7:36

80s or 90s or whatever they've gone

7:38

on to film careers to all the

7:40

assholes that said I can't stop being

7:42

a typecast. No, it's not that or

7:45

if it is they've gotten over it.

7:47

Somehow they've gotten it over it. You're

7:49

listening Bob Denver. I'm just saying if

7:52

you're one of these guys that says

7:54

well I was in 90210 so that's

7:56

why I can't work I get typecast

7:59

talent almost always out. Yeah, well these

8:01

guys, I mean fucking Johnny Jefferson, 21

8:03

jumps street. He's had arguably the hardest

8:05

role of any like Megastar of going

8:08

from like a you know teen idol

8:10

heartthrobe, lightweight rolls to being a respected

8:12

actor. Or look at someone like Julie

8:15

Ann Moore who's on a soap opera.

8:17

Yeah. And manages to be one of

8:19

the best working actresses today. You're listening,

8:22

Ian Turing? I don't think he is.

8:24

Like I could never come up with

8:26

the name Ian Turing right now. Yeah,

8:28

too tired. Yeah, I know. You know

8:31

what I missed by the way? We'll

8:33

never get to experience again. There's David

8:35

Arquette busting down in our door. That

8:38

was because by nature of it being

8:40

a podcast, you know what I'm saying?

8:42

Like, he would bust down the door

8:45

occasionally on the live show. Yeah, I

8:47

mean, please stop me if I'm wrong.

8:49

Happened more than once. We actually just

8:51

came. into the studio. Once, talking smack

8:54

about... Yeah, once on Love Line, in

8:56

the middle of a show, and then

8:58

once on the morning show, we're talking

9:01

about a Lexusark kind of thing. Yeah.

9:03

Yeah, coming close to the show, about

9:05

a sister. Or brother, or whatever it

9:08

was, toaster. I don't know what it

9:10

is. You were being so mean to

9:12

her. She was such a con, con,

9:14

on her shoulder. And you know what?

9:17

he's unpredictable and that's I associate that

9:19

quality with somebody who's truly funny David

9:21

Arquette yeah David Arquette is a yeah

9:24

I'll tell you the thing about Arquette

9:26

good soul it's just the it's got

9:28

a good vibe there's there's a couple

9:31

of guys out there that have that

9:33

you know good vibe and guys who

9:35

don't have that good vibe and Arquette's

9:37

good vibe said like Robert Downey Jr.

9:40

There's a handful of guys that just

9:42

every really Joel McHale has a great

9:44

vibe. Zach Levi. There's some guys that

9:47

are just like really cool vibes and

9:49

other guys pains in the ass. Getting

9:51

back to Joseph Gordon Levitt. Yeah. He

9:54

told Details magazine. When I was in

9:56

high school I loved smoking. weed. I

9:58

loved it, but I cut myself to

10:00

once a month. That was my rule.

10:03

Once a month? Yeah, so again, he

10:05

wanted to continue to enjoy it. It

10:07

sounds like he didn't want to become

10:10

a pothead. I'd like to talk to

10:12

Dr. Drew and see how much that

10:14

once a month business he buys from

10:17

Leavitt. Does that really mean once a

10:19

week? There's nobody who does anything who

10:21

says they do it less than what

10:23

they actually do or do more than

10:26

what... It says they do it more.

10:28

You know what I mean? If somebody

10:30

says I do something once in a

10:33

while, they mean about four or five

10:35

times a week. And if they say,

10:37

you know, I smoke pot once a

10:40

month, you can probably swap out month

10:42

for weekend, right? Which is fine. I'm

10:44

not judging. Just say you do. You

10:46

know why? I don't buy once a

10:49

month to me is a liar. If

10:51

you tell me, I smoke pot on

10:53

occasion. Like just a rare occasion, like

10:56

if I'm on vacation, we're hanging out,

10:58

we're in the Bahamas, we're at the

11:00

beach, you're going to see Sex in

11:03

the City, too. Go see Sex in

11:05

City, too, and I eat myself, one

11:07

of those posters, listering, postage stamps and

11:09

freak out. If you say that, I

11:12

buy it. If you say, I smoke

11:14

pot about every weekend, I buy it.

11:16

Once a month is a no man's

11:19

land, where you're not really hanging out

11:21

with Dawson, hanging out with Dawson, and

11:23

you ain't hanging out with Brian. You're

11:26

caught between Dawson and Bryan. You're also

11:28

caught in a lie. Yeah. And the

11:30

moon in New York City. Because it's

11:33

bullshit. If you like, I like, here's

11:35

the thing. I don't really smoke weed

11:37

anymore. So for me, I don't smoke

11:39

weed once a month. I will on

11:42

rare occasion, I'm not judging. I'm just,

11:44

I drink red, red wine. Right. But

11:46

I will smoke weed, but it's not

11:49

once a month. If you smoke it

11:51

once a month and you say once

11:53

a month, you don't even... By the

11:56

way, for people really smoke weed once

11:58

a month, they don't know they smoke

12:00

weed once a month. They would tell

12:02

you a couple times a year. Yeah,

12:05

like if it kind of... if someone

12:07

has it... and you get a wild

12:09

hair. Yeah. You don't really, if you

12:12

don't acquire it. Mm-hmm. I know, it's

12:14

crazy, but it's true. I'm telling you.

12:16

Are they gonna remake this movie? Wow.

12:19

I feel like, I feel like I

12:21

heard that. Alexis Arquette'll star in it.

12:23

I think they are making it with

12:25

Russell Brand. Yes. Oh. And Alexis Arquette

12:28

in the Eliza Manelli Roll. Okay, here's

12:30

a shocking one, and I'll. In a

12:32

live speaking engagement in 2006 and in

12:35

San Francisco, he mentioned that smoking weed

12:37

in high school influenced his comedy. Also,

12:39

you have to consider the source and

12:42

the environment. It's like when a politician

12:44

gets up in front of a bunch

12:46

of guys who are in the labor

12:48

union, they're pro-labor. And when a comedians

12:51

in San Francisco and there's a lot

12:53

of herb going around, you know you're

12:55

going to get a fuck yeah. at

12:58

everyone, then you're weed smoker. If you're

13:00

talking to the Young Republicans Committee and

13:02

you're in Arkansas, then it's not so

13:05

much. You know what I'm saying? You

13:07

have that too. But either way, who

13:09

gives a fuck? Smoke up you want

13:11

to smoke up you don't want to

13:14

smoke up don't smoke up. We should

13:16

stop enforcing everything and stop fucking talking

13:18

about it once and for all Let's

13:21

just move on with our life. Yeah,

13:23

that helps me to round out this

13:25

list because poor Camorra Lee Simmons got

13:28

busted in 2004 for possession She had

13:30

a couple grams of weed in her

13:32

pens. Well, they should lock her up

13:34

and throw away the key just in

13:37

her case. Yes, yes, that's the news.

13:39

She looks like a female impersonator doesn't

13:41

she If you don't listen, remember when

13:44

Lisa Lampinelli was here? And she said

13:46

there's like the five ways you can

13:48

roast women. It's like fat, big vagina,

13:51

uh, slutty. What am I missing? No,

13:53

sleeps around, yeah, the slutty thing. Bloody,

13:55

but you're not old, ugly fat. Yeah.

13:57

And I remember, I realized there's also

14:00

tranny. Right and you know how I

14:02

learned that? Because somebody took the liberty

14:04

of posting on my blog that I

14:07

look like a tranny Really? I never

14:09

even considered I mean I considered a

14:11

lot of flaws But I never that

14:14

one wait was it a hot tranny?

14:16

Well, they had made their name Tranny

14:18

Teresa. It was like a specific person

14:20

that spends a lot of time on

14:23

the internet attacking me in various ways.

14:25

But I hadn't thought of that. And

14:27

I'd be like, oh yeah, that's another

14:30

one because you, on that, on the

14:32

hoft roast, that does come up where

14:34

somebody looks like a tranny. That is

14:37

another way of roasting a woman. Well,

14:39

I'm going to have Donnie settle their

14:41

hash by taking their coffee order later

14:43

on in the day. And I don't

14:46

like, the only thing worse than getting

14:48

the wrong sides to getting the wrong

14:50

sides of that. how you can get

14:53

so frustrated. He even walked away and

14:55

like, he looked at me at Teresa

14:57

and said, you know what, I'm going

15:00

to, I'm going back to get a

15:02

large. He was right, so that's why

15:04

I'm laughing at his frustration. Well, you

15:06

brought me a Dixie Riddle cup filled

15:09

with coffee latte, and I want it

15:11

up, I want it up, I want

15:13

it up. I do, but, and I

15:16

would err on this side of lunch.

15:18

You've only known, been friends, close friends,

15:20

close friends, for, for a coffee in

15:23

the beginning. Well, that's my whole point.

15:25

Why not get the large? That's what

15:27

I'm saying. All right, I'm sorry. All

15:29

right. Here's the other thing too. I

15:32

feel like there's been a lot of

15:34

healing. You don't have to be sorry.

15:36

But you know the part where somebody

15:39

fucks up and then right after they're

15:41

fucked up, they kind of go like,

15:43

yeah, I know. And you think you're

15:46

jumping in the car to go driving.

15:48

You want like a big tall coffee?

15:50

I ordered a large... You did, you're

15:52

right. You're right. You knew it on

15:55

some level. You just decided I didn't

15:57

need it. I think that was... That's

15:59

what happened. Do you think he has

16:02

some... Is there any unconscious... maneuvering going

16:04

on in the mind of Donnie? Everything

16:06

he does is unconscious. I'm subconscious? Oh,

16:09

subconscious. I'm sorry. No, there was an

16:11

element, yes, there's an element. It doesn't

16:13

want you to have too much caffeine?

16:15

This element of I'm ordering a small,

16:18

you drank enough, you're going to order

16:20

small, you're going to get a small

16:22

tea. You've had enough. I need to

16:25

hold over to take a piss. Right.

16:27

It's a big time saver. Right. Saved

16:29

the time. Right. You have to carry

16:32

the larger one and pay for it.

16:34

Yeah. Yeah. You can't take the time

16:36

to say I have a small and

16:38

a large coffee. When you see that?

16:41

That took forever. You think they're both

16:43

ones. Listen, you're on a small roll.

16:45

Right. Don't break it by putting a

16:48

large in there and confusing everybody. No,

16:50

listen, if Donnie was a waiter, he'd

16:52

do that thing. That's my favorite waiter

16:55

move. Brian and then you order sandwich

16:57

too and I'll jump in. I'll take,

16:59

let me get a turkey sandwich, no

17:01

mail please. All right and then the

17:04

lady will be having? Just a BLT?

17:06

With no mail? What the fuck do

17:08

I have to do? I was on

17:11

a mail roll. That's the point. I

17:13

assume that just because we're dining. I

17:15

was thinking about mail. I thought of

17:18

the word mail came into my head.

17:20

He said mail. That's out words. They

17:22

do do that don't think. They get

17:24

on a roll. They get on a

17:27

roll. Yeah, I always laugh thinking, yeah,

17:29

that's where we met. That's a no

17:31

mail comic. Come. All right, we serve.

17:34

I plus your chops because I love

17:36

you. No, I'm just saying, look, it's

17:38

a T. You should take a page,

17:41

actually a rolling paper out of Donnie's

17:43

book. I should. And Donnie, take a

17:45

page out of T's book. Because that's

17:48

where the truth lies. Somewhere in between.

17:50

Walking away laughing doesn't really get you

17:52

anywhere. And committing. suicide over fucking up

17:54

coffee order doesn't get you. Yeah, trying

17:57

too hard and trying not hard enough.

17:59

Little in between. Yeah. All right, where

18:01

are we? Ah, I think Brian Possain

18:04

is here. It's hard to miss him

18:06

out there. No, he's a lot of

18:08

man. I can't believe you haven't had

18:11

sex with him. Well, there is Steve

18:13

Agee. Ooh, Lake is being loved. Pinnacle

18:15

College, by the way. They do video

18:17

games, sound design, and recording, engineer. Engineer.

18:20

I have no idea. They're in North

18:22

Hollywood. You go in. It is a

18:24

nine to 12 month program. Some of

18:27

their graduates graduates, by the way, have

18:29

won Emmys and Grammys and Oscars and

18:31

oh my. Point is is focus people.

18:34

You like video games, you like playing

18:36

with video games, you want to work

18:38

in the lucrative world? I'm guessing those

18:40

aren't going the way, the dodo in

18:43

the next four to six years. I'm

18:45

guessing it's not like making moccasins or

18:47

saddles. design and do sound design on

18:50

video games. But again, it doesn't have

18:52

to just be that. Could be music,

18:54

could be movies, could be television. They're

18:57

offering the first video game sound design

18:59

program. And again, it's just nine to

19:01

12 months. Check them out at Pinnacle

19:03

College dot EDU. That's Pinnacle College dot

19:06

EDU. Or you can call them toll

19:08

free at 888-24. That's 888-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8 That part

19:10

where they put up on the screen,

19:13

bringing Brian Possain, and then I announce

19:15

I'm going to bring him in in

19:17

a second, but then I do about

19:20

two minutes worth of shuffling around, and

19:22

then he's not around. He's on deck.

19:24

Ah, hi Brian. How are you? Have

19:26

a seat. Good to see you. Good

19:29

to see you. You look, I don't

19:31

only use the word fit. Well for

19:33

me, but for you, you look great.

19:36

Yeah, yeah. And I have a kid

19:38

and I don't want to die on

19:40

him. Oh really? If you die on

19:43

him, he's going, no, no, I'm not

19:45

literally. Yeah. You roll over on that

19:47

kid. He's rolled over. two. 15 months.

19:49

Oh congratulations. And I told you it

19:52

wasn't gay, T. Just because you're over

19:54

six nine and three hundred pounds you

19:56

have an attempt to have sex with

19:59

our team. Assume that everyone in the

20:01

NBA is gay, every power four in

20:03

the NBA is gay. Is that your

20:06

thing, the big fellas? For a while

20:08

there. Yeah. Agee, you know, he's a

20:10

bigger guy. Yes. Did bother me? It

20:12

did not bother me. Although it was,

20:15

I found it, one thing about it,

20:17

creepy, total strangers, even people who are

20:19

kind of on the conservative side, would

20:22

always be curious about his penis size.

20:24

Just because he was so tall? Right.

20:26

They would just ask me, it was

20:29

weird. No, that's a common thing. Is

20:31

it? Yeah, I get that all the

20:33

time. Yeah. Well, they assumed two things.

20:35

They assume you played sports in high

20:38

school. Yes. And then they assume you

20:40

have a big honker. Which neither are

20:42

true. Well, you know what you should

20:45

say now. You should combine your two

20:47

answers and go, no, I did not

20:49

play basketball. My cock was too big.

20:52

And the shorts could not contain them.

20:54

And then the person will be plumb

20:56

out of questions. Yeah. Creeped out, but

20:58

out of questions. So Brian, first off,

21:01

how much weight have you lost? Not

21:03

much yet. Yeah. I think like 10,

21:05

like 10 or 15 or 15. But

21:08

enough for people to people to notice.

21:10

Yeah, and it's weird. How does that

21:12

work? I don't know. Well, because I

21:15

mean, you're so tall. Yeah, 15 pounds

21:17

wouldn't seem like much, but yet I

21:19

noticed. Yeah, but I was such a

21:21

fat fucking fuck. Just any little bit

21:24

helps. Yeah, that happened. And then just

21:26

whenever I work on something like the

21:28

last season of Sarah Silverman, I ballooned

21:31

up. And I think it was just

21:33

being around another huge guy that was

21:35

also eating. Right, shiddily all day. Right,

21:38

playing video games. Yeah, yeah. And Brian,

21:40

the, uh, also the big man-sized lumberjack

21:42

beard. Uh-huh. I mean, almost, it's almost

21:44

like when you, once you make the

21:47

decision to grow that big you almost

21:49

have to grow into the beard. Right.

21:51

So it's, yeah, I think I got

21:54

a little bigger once the beard started

21:56

getting crazier and, yeah, more. And just

21:58

being a big dude, like there's, you

22:01

know, when you're beardless and five, eight

22:03

and small bones, ten pounds seems like

22:05

you've gained a winnebago when you're six,

22:07

big bone, with the big Dan Hagerty

22:10

beard, you can green let yourself go

22:12

for a few months. So how about

22:14

the kid? Let's talk about that. It's

22:17

awesome He's a little guy and I

22:19

just it's been weird because I was

22:21

one of those people thought that I

22:24

would never have a kid and and

22:26

then plus in my stand-up act being

22:28

kind of Negative about kids too sure

22:30

just sort of Changing and then trying

22:33

not to change too much, you know,

22:35

because I don't want to lose your

22:37

eyes who love my my master bedding

22:40

material sure it's tough and what and

22:42

so what being a guy who never

22:44

thought he'd have kids I I sort

22:47

of felt that way to myself and

22:49

I'm wondering where you got your I'm

22:51

one of those guys who's never gonna

22:53

have kids feeling it came from a

22:56

couple of places and I used to

22:58

be so negative like I used to

23:00

do a joke about it but how

23:03

like like When I was young my

23:05

my cousin got his his girlfriend pregnant

23:07

and I was like My family hated

23:10

me because I came out so against

23:12

like oh, you know, how can you

23:14

do that? You know, how can you

23:16

ruin your life? Right That's just the

23:19

way I looked at it. Yeah, I

23:21

was younger and and then I just

23:23

I just never thought it was something

23:26

for me and then I think part

23:28

of it was my last girlfriend before

23:30

my wife Was never going to have

23:33

a kid too so and I was

23:35

going to be one of those people.

23:37

Well the women usually bring the guys

23:39

to it because the guys would be

23:42

in a sort of perpetual holding pattern,

23:44

state of adolescence especially. right doing comedy

23:46

yeah essentially not having a job for

23:49

a living or having a job that

23:51

really didn't involve getting up before noon

23:53

right you just go fuck it and

23:56

a lot of comedians I know Doug

23:58

Benson if you're listening are just in

24:00

this sort of perpetual sort of adolescent

24:03

circling of the airport right and I

24:05

like smoking I like smoking weed I

24:07

like making my own hours I want

24:09

to I want to go to bed

24:12

at 3 30 in the morning I

24:14

want to wake up at 1 in

24:16

the afternoon and I don't want anyone

24:19

taking my money Right. And so you're

24:21

getting this, it's a little self-absorbed and

24:23

it ends up making you funnier. Uh-huh.

24:26

But if you have a woman who's

24:28

like, fuck it, we don't need kids,

24:30

then you're never gonna have kids. You

24:32

kind of need to get with someone

24:35

who goes, hey, I'm not getting any

24:37

younger. Yeah. And my wife was originally

24:39

like on that side, like, well, if

24:42

you don't want to have, you know,

24:44

she didn't want to. There's so many

24:46

things that aren't your idea that are

24:49

great in your life. You know, no

24:51

one really explores that. You know, there's

24:53

a lot of stuff where people say,

24:55

look, you should get married or we

24:58

should get married or I mean, really,

25:00

truth be told, I would probably be

25:02

dating with no kids for the rest

25:05

of my life if you just sort

25:07

of asked me every day. Yeah. If

25:09

you woke me up every Monday morning

25:12

and said... Is this the week you

25:14

get married and shit, I mean, beautifully

25:16

have two children? I would say, no,

25:18

not this week. And then before you

25:21

know it, I would be in my

25:23

80s going, no, not, you know, with

25:25

a stroke cane shaking it. So we're

25:28

going, no, not this week. At some

25:30

point. And it's not like my wife

25:32

suckered me into it or anything. Right.

25:35

Like I was with her forever. before

25:37

she said, you know, you should pull

25:39

the trigger. And we're sort of living

25:41

in a time where guys can get

25:44

away with it. Yeah. Especially stand-up comedians,

25:46

you know, you just announce, I'm not

25:48

the marrying type or my... confirmed bachelor

25:51

whatever you just say I'm a stand-up

25:53

comedian. And it's perfect because you go

25:55

listen you know with my you know

25:58

on the road crazy hours crazy travel

26:00

never knowing your next paycheck comes in

26:02

horing Jesus should have stopped it should

26:04

have stopped it on the road but

26:07

yeah you just go wouldn't work would

26:09

you like me to be a dad

26:11

never never never here and blah blah

26:14

blah blah blah so you have every

26:16

excuse in the world but I love

26:18

the fact that you're digging being a

26:21

dad. Yeah, I'm having a blast and

26:23

and it's real cool. You know, you

26:25

know, Pat and had a kid around

26:27

the same time so it's And then

26:30

I have another really good friend of

26:32

mine whose baby is like a month

26:34

older and then Dave Anthony, another good

26:37

friend of mine. We all had kids

26:39

around the same time. Patent thinks because

26:41

we came home from Comic-Con and we're

26:44

all horny. And we all impregnated our

26:46

wives after looking at Scarlet Johansson and

26:48

the Black Widow costume. And what do?

26:50

Would work. That's what he thinks happened.

26:53

But honestly, birth is cluster around September

26:55

because they're New Year's Eve babies. Right.

26:57

We all came home around August, September,

27:00

and then our kids all came out

27:02

in the spring. And what about the...

27:04

The math works out. The parenting and

27:07

not wanting to have kids. Like I

27:09

came from a shitty family, so I

27:11

kind of understand. My thing but your

27:13

family love you know I have a

27:16

thing that I never really talk about

27:18

But my dad died when I was

27:20

two so I really yeah, so I

27:23

always and that was a big thing

27:25

like I've made fun of for not

27:27

having a dad and Really that was

27:30

part I mean part of why I

27:32

took a lot of hits when I

27:34

was a kid was my looks, but

27:36

it was also Well raised by a

27:39

single mom and and we didn't have

27:41

money and what were your look all

27:43

right I was the poor kid poor

27:46

kid and then also skinny and weird

27:48

and then tried to be funny right

27:50

and people didn't think I was funny

27:53

initially. How did your dad die? They

27:55

don't know if your funny is the

27:57

problem right right but then by senior

27:59

in high school I'd turn it all

28:02

around I was like the DJ and.

28:04

has been cast by then. Now where

28:06

is this growing up? Northern California, Sonoma.

28:09

And the mean streets of Sonoma. Yeah.

28:11

Well I came from San Jose. I

28:13

moved from a city when I was

28:16

nine years old and then moved up

28:18

to Sonoma and you'd think... like the

28:20

country kids would be cool right you

28:22

think it would be the reverse but

28:25

it was brutal and old picture yeah

28:27

yeah after your dad died hitting his

28:29

head on a door jam it must

28:32

have been difficult no how what happened

28:34

with blood disease and just like some

28:36

crazy like soap opera disease that just

28:39

like they tell you you're gonna die

28:41

and then you die and it and

28:43

it age it's always a tragedy but

28:45

it too do you remember much of

28:48

it but But you just grow up

28:50

kind of knowing there's a hole. Right.

28:52

Knowing that you're not like the other

28:55

kids. Sure. And seeing that you're not

28:57

like the other kids. And then the

28:59

kids reminding you constantly that you're not

29:02

like them. So they really were cruel

29:04

about it. Yeah. Oh yeah. I had

29:06

kids like a kid was making fun

29:08

of me and I go, well my

29:11

dad's dead. And he goes, well, dig

29:13

them up. Fifth grade. And then I

29:15

want to hit that kid in the

29:18

face. Oh yeah. Yeah. So yeah I

29:20

don't know why my mom didn't flip

29:22

out and kill all these kids. And

29:25

how much your mom was poor? Yeah

29:27

well single mom going to school and

29:29

then working for the state. Right. So

29:31

and not poor but not. And how

29:34

do you know how hard it is

29:36

with two parents to raise a kid?

29:38

Can you now do you have new

29:41

appreciation for your mom? Yeah. Oh yeah.

29:43

How did your mom how was your

29:45

relationship with your mom? Really good when

29:48

I was young and then I went

29:50

through the rebellious thing and then I

29:52

kind of blamed her when I was

29:54

when I when I got picked on

29:57

so much right I had a lot

29:59

of resentment and then I would come

30:01

home and you know well I mean

30:04

I had kids calling me fagget and

30:06

throwing stuff at me like I didn't

30:08

defend you. No and I came home

30:11

and I would complain about it and

30:13

she'd go oh kids called me giraffe

30:15

and I'm like giraffe is not the

30:17

same as fagget. Right. She was a

30:20

six foot lady growing up in the

30:22

50s. Sure. So she got some grief.

30:24

I mean it's a thing that I

30:27

marvel at. I mean it's it's it's

30:29

it's it's sad. that you're jealous when

30:31

you turn on the news and they

30:34

got the fifteen-year-old black kid with a

30:36

shirt off and his pants down he's

30:38

being pushed in the back of an

30:41

LAPD car and you see that huge

30:43

black mama like banging on the gate

30:45

the project you let me add him

30:47

you get away from my baby and

30:50

I think myself wow I wish I

30:52

had that mom my mom would have

30:54

done that no you're staying there I'm

30:57

would have never done shit she would

30:59

have been in the house but I

31:01

so I wonder if and your mom

31:04

and your mom must have been uh...

31:06

obviously going to school working being burdened

31:08

by not having a lot of help

31:10

a lot of money have a right

31:13

right a widow blah blah blah see

31:15

i have i believe that you sort

31:17

of see life and and have experiences

31:20

sort of through the filter of your

31:22

your childhood right and so whatever you

31:24

were to your parents well then you

31:27

think potentially your kids are going to

31:29

be to you and my parents treated

31:31

their kids like a royal pain in

31:33

the ass. Like just like, oh god

31:36

damn, you want to ride where? Oh,

31:38

it's going to cost what? What? You

31:40

want $12 for a windbreaker that says

31:43

East Valley Trojans on it? Please, we're

31:45

not made of money. Like everything, everything

31:47

was meant with an exhale. Like, ah.

31:50

So I just grew up thinking, wow,

31:52

kids got to be the world's biggest.

31:54

bummer. I just saw what a pain

31:56

in the ass was right my parents

31:59

were just exhaling and meanwhile they never

32:01

enjoyed any they never went any the

32:03

football games or thought anything was good

32:06

so none of the positive all of

32:08

the negative means well kids suck they

32:10

take your money right you get no

32:13

enjoyment from them and actually you know

32:15

they want to ride fan eyes to

32:17

ham, their buddy Teddy. It's such a

32:19

bummer. So I got that and I

32:22

just thought why would anyone want kids?

32:24

Well see I thought I would die

32:26

as soon as I had a kid.

32:29

Oh well that's even worse. Like I

32:31

grew up with that going why have

32:33

a kid because I'm just going to

32:36

die on them right? It's obviously this

32:38

runs on the family even though I

32:40

had nothing to base that on. I

32:42

would have been only the second one.

32:45

Right, interesting, yeah. So it is nice,

32:47

it feels good that you were led

32:49

to that you were led to that

32:52

that intimacy to that intimacy. and that

32:54

even against what would have been your

32:56

wishes. Yeah, well I feel like I

32:59

did a lot of growing up in

33:01

the last 10 years and not just

33:03

from my wife but just all the

33:05

way around, just you know, and I

33:08

just sort of fell into it or

33:10

it made more sense as I'm... you

33:12

know acting more like an adult even

33:15

though I'm wearing short pants. And I

33:17

got high in the afternoon. I'm still

33:19

totally an adult for compared to who

33:22

I am and compared to most comedians

33:24

and most of my friends. They must

33:26

be kind of a beautiful experience having

33:28

never had really a father to be

33:31

one. Oh it is. Yeah yeah it's

33:33

it's already really cool and the one

33:35

thing I'm loving and he's totally obsessed

33:38

with me and oh really oh yeah

33:40

like she does the the high dad

33:42

thing and he doesn't say hi mama

33:45

and so it's hilarious because it puns

33:47

my wife so like I've got this

33:49

thing to kind of hold it's like

33:51

living with the brawny man or the

33:54

big guy who'd be out in front

33:56

of the tire store the big giant

33:58

fiberglass guy holding up the tires or

34:01

something like that you know like living

34:03

with the you know a netty or

34:05

something I mean it's very exciting is

34:08

it for a kid you know to

34:10

have a big lumber jacket in there.

34:12

How fun of that be! You wouldn't

34:14

want that to be in there. Yeah,

34:17

he pulls on it constantly. Right? He

34:19

loves the beard. Yeah. But I think

34:21

the big thing that plays into it

34:24

is that I've been gone. I was

34:26

like gone a hundred days of his

34:28

first year. You're on the road. Yeah,

34:31

so... when I'm there, like my wife's

34:33

there every single day. Right. So I'm

34:35

more of a, like he doesn't know

34:37

when he gets up if I'm going

34:40

to be there or not. So, and

34:42

then when I show up, it's like

34:44

a total surprise. The, uh, by the

34:47

way, name of the new album is

34:49

called Fartin Wiener Jokes. Yes. On iTunes,

34:51

Amazon. And Brian's website, by the way,

34:54

you can get him at Brian Posane.

34:56

You guys in the mood for this?

34:58

People call up... They throw out a

35:00

title and we just basically make up

35:03

a movie around the title. So it's

35:05

a challenge, but we usually land on

35:07

our feet. According to an ancient Mayan

35:10

prophecy in the year 2010, a hero

35:12

would rise to turn your movie titles.

35:14

into blockbusters. That hero is Adam Corolla.

35:17

Boy, that could be good. And this

35:19

is made a movie. All right, I

35:21

have no idea what's going on with

35:23

the phones, but I'm assuming you're not

35:26

plugged in or ready to go, but

35:28

I'll give it a try. Hey, Ray?

35:30

Doni's got to hit something. All right.

35:33

Something's wrong with the phones here, Weiser.

35:35

Let's see if that works. Ray? Hayden?

35:37

Or didn't one just drop off and

35:40

switch over? All right. I don't think

35:42

this thing's going to work. Donnie's going

35:44

to fix. Something's wrong with the phone

35:46

lines, which we normally don't prepare before

35:49

we do phone calls for people phone

35:51

in. But, I don't know. Donnie can

35:53

try it. Yeah,

35:56

see now what happened on phones?

35:59

I don't know if it's plugged

36:01

in. We know we're going to

36:04

take phone calls, Donnie? Yeah? Yeah.

36:06

All right, but don't kick yourself

36:08

in the ass, that's an important

36:11

part. Well, he was in immediately.

36:13

All right. Is it all right?

36:15

The response time was pretty impressive.

36:18

Pretty good response time. Nothing wrong.

36:20

All right. Give it a try.

36:22

All right, you ready to try

36:25

alone? Mm-hmm. All right. Do not

36:27

beat yourself up. That's important part.

36:29

Let's laugh it off. There you

36:32

go. Hey, Michael? Mike? It's great.

36:34

We have a Michael in the

36:36

mics. It's actually confusing. Well, we

36:39

have the titles. We have the

36:41

titles. Yeah. All right, let me

36:44

try it. Ella? That's funny when

36:46

they do it. Ella? All right.

36:48

Now listen, fuck it. We knew

36:51

we were going to try to

36:53

take phone calls, right? Oh, there's

36:55

the car. Oh, did I do

36:58

it? No. It doesn't. I kick

37:00

it loose. It doesn't hook in.

37:02

Saw Squatch walked in, he didn't

37:05

kick it loose. All right. There,

37:07

we're good now. All right. Hey,

37:09

Michael? That was not a drop.

37:12

Yo. We do know when we're

37:14

going to take phone calls, all

37:16

right? Yeah? No. No, we can

37:19

make a meeting. Maybe thought people

37:21

are going to walk in the

37:23

titles like they normally do. Alright,

37:26

sorry. Michael? Yo, what's going on?

37:28

How are you? Good. I'm a

37:31

big fan, first of all, want

37:33

to say. Thanks, Michael. Do you

37:35

have a title of a movie

37:38

you like? Yeah, try this on

37:40

Misfortune Cookies. Misfortune cookies. Run with

37:42

it. Jackie Chan and Jetli. Yeah.

37:45

Oh wait, yes, you were jagged

37:47

and gently, they're hit men and

37:49

they get, they're on the Yakuza

37:52

and they get their like the

37:54

next assignment the next hit yeah

37:56

fortune cookie oh it's that way

37:59

they have just about all knowledge

38:01

of having gotten do you know

38:03

right right and jet league it's

38:06

a cookie that tells him he

38:08

has to kill Jackie Chan gets

38:11

the same cookie about jet league

38:13

right yeah and it's uh pretty's

38:15

honor Right and it's it's and

38:18

so it there's comedy but there's

38:20

also action and pathos in it.

38:22

Yes, of course. And then it's

38:25

got heart. It's got a lot

38:27

of heart. It's got a lot

38:29

of heart. One of them's gonna

38:32

have to have like a kid?

38:34

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'll tell you

38:36

what. Jackie Chan is a beautiful

38:39

Eurasia. Eurasian daughter Jet Lee wants

38:41

to is dating her yes and

38:43

and but behind Jackie's back he

38:46

doesn't know it right but in

38:48

a second act certain point this

38:51

where the heart comes out he

38:53

finds out she's pregnant with Jet's

38:55

kid right little Cessna like she

38:58

dated a kid if you're Jet

39:00

late right sure single engine Piper

39:02

Cup so the point is this

39:05

point is he can't kill him

39:07

now because you're essentially killing The

39:09

father of your grandchild. Yeah, that's

39:12

where that's where it gets but

39:14

tons of tons of action tons

39:16

of intrigue Now that at the

39:19

end they both kill the guy

39:21

that set them both up. Yeah

39:23

fine the guy team up course

39:26

set set them both up. Yeah

39:28

And maybe that's Ray Leota. Maybe

39:31

Ray Leota did that. And I

39:33

think it has to end with

39:35

something funny happening at the wedding

39:38

of the pregnant gal. Yeah, sure.

39:40

You know, she's pregnant at the

39:42

wedding. Right. I can't remember which

39:45

one is her daughter. Jackie Chan's

39:47

daughter. Yeah. He walks her down

39:49

the aisle. Right. Yeah. And there's

39:52

a, yeah, there's a crazy, something

39:54

hilarious happens. Something hilarious happens. Something

39:56

hilarious happens. I think that's funny

39:59

is almost everybody on the bride

40:01

and groom's side is a third

40:03

degree blackball. Right, of course. So

40:06

it's just, oh, here's the comedy.

40:08

Here's what happens. Some bumbling sort

40:10

of gangbanger, so that's multi-racial. But

40:13

that we set up earlier, like

40:15

in a B story. Yeah, they're

40:18

like stoner gangbangers and they stumble

40:20

onto this wedding and they're like

40:22

easy pickins. Lots of guys in

40:25

their big fat wallets, lots of

40:27

old men. and it just turns

40:29

into a crazy kung-foo thing where they just

40:31

whip the shit out all these gangbanger guys to

40:34

show up. They think they're going to get in

40:36

there and grab all the cash at the wedding

40:38

and grab the cake. But everyone, the black belt,

40:40

and most hilariously, the old people and the kids.

40:43

And the bride. And the bride feels herself as

40:45

a hit man. What a woman. And by the

40:47

way, just for the closing credits? Yes. For the

40:49

closing credits, can they all be like you

40:51

open the Fortune cookie and then directed by

40:53

her? Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. Bost open the

40:56

cookie. Yes. Can they. Yeah. Can they. That's

40:58

it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's

41:00

it. That's it. That's it. That's it. Oh,

41:02

this is going to be good. Misfortune cookie.

41:04

I like that. All right, let's talk to

41:07

Mike, Mike. Adam. What he got for us

41:09

in the made-up movie department.

41:11

All right, Adam, here you

41:13

go. I'm thinking, conjoined twins,

41:15

separate mother, separate mother,

41:18

separate father, Mike, Mike. You have

41:20

to give the title and we tell

41:22

you the name of the movie. You

41:24

give us the title of movie. We

41:27

just tried these goals. Yeah. I

41:29

mean does he want to give

41:31

us the plot and we give

41:33

him the title because there's

41:35

no reason we couldn't

41:37

do that. We're going to break

41:39

down. I got a fire call

41:42

straight. Give us the name of

41:44

the movie. Salt and pepper. All

41:46

right I got it. Conjoined twins.

41:48

Yeah, different mother. One

41:50

black, one white. Yeah, it's

41:53

Tracy Jordan and Seth Rogan.

41:55

I always called by his

41:57

character. Right. Tracy Jordan. Oh,

41:59

sure. Yeah, what a racist

42:01

ass hole. Yeah, I'm just assol.

42:03

Yeah. But, or just racist. But

42:06

either way, yeah, they're conjoined. Yeah,

42:08

they had a black father and

42:10

a white mother and it just

42:13

turned out this way. This is

42:15

awesome. They have to learn from

42:17

each other. The father and the

42:19

mother. We got against them, right?

42:21

That's a good point. Let's

42:24

make, let's say, let's make

42:26

the mother Sicily Tyson. I

42:28

see that she's a she's an older

42:30

all right we got to go

42:32

right dad is a hero doing

42:34

another hilarious part well that well

42:37

denier is believable I have to

42:39

be funny that's a big more

42:41

of a herald ramus type just

42:43

because he played his dad

42:46

already and knocked up if herald

42:48

ramus and now how about this

42:50

Robert Downey Jr as a black

42:52

woman oh my god there we

42:55

go yeah Now we got something

42:57

going on, right? And now do

42:59

we have Tracy, sort of the

43:01

studious one, who's a little more

43:03

uptight, and for some reason, even

43:06

though... But now they didn't know

43:08

each other growing up, right? Now

43:10

they're together in the first half?

43:12

They're conjoined. Oh, they're

43:15

literally came out of Mama

43:17

that way. Yeah, may I just

43:19

say, I think they should have

43:21

a sister, and I would like

43:23

to cast... Cardussian. Right. Yeah. She'd be fun? Yeah. She'd

43:25

be fun? Yeah, we have her in there as the sister. But what

43:27

happens on page 15? She'd be fun. What's the conflict? I mean, what,

43:29

uh? They want to be separated and a doctor, a doctor finally, you

43:31

know, like, there always seem to be a... Hold on. They don't have

43:33

the money. They've got to raise the money. And in the end,

43:35

do they really want to be separate? Because one of something else,

43:37

like, like, like, Seth, Seth, Seth, Seth, Robert, Robert, Robert, he wants to

43:39

be a, like, Seth, Seth, he wants to be a, Seth, he wants

43:41

to be a, like, Seth, Seth, he wants to be a, like, Seth, Seth,

43:44

Seth, he wants to be, he wants to be a,

43:46

like, like, Seth, Seth, he wants to, Seth, he

43:48

wants to, he wants to, he wants to, he

43:50

wants to, like, like, Right, or something. Yes, so

43:52

they have to raise the money. What are they

43:55

going to do to get the money? Because insurance

43:57

will not cover the separation of conjoined twins. Greatest

43:59

liberties ever. They don't. They take to the Paul.

44:01

They take to the Paul. They take to the

44:03

Paul. Just realize you're playing

44:05

song, Peble. Took me a second.

44:07

Yes, it must become exotic male

44:09

dancers. Exactly. And they used to

44:11

have any and ivory. Right, right.

44:13

And there's a lot of hijinks

44:15

like in the commercial where they're

44:18

on the edge of the stage

44:20

at the bachelor party. They both

44:22

just go ass over tea kettle into

44:24

the front. Right. And of course, we'll

44:26

have to have the Michael Jackson Black

44:28

or White song. Right. Right. And then

44:31

one of them like takes like a

44:33

drug that they're, you know, like for

44:35

that they have an allergy to. Right.

44:37

he's going for a job interview. Right,

44:39

yeah, yeah. The job, they're total lightweight.

44:41

Like Seth Rogan's a huge stoner, but

44:44

Tracy Morgan, you just give half of

44:46

one of Sarah Silmarin's pot brownies and

44:48

he's fucking three sheets for the next

44:50

two days. Exactly. So he, it goes

44:52

through his system as well. Now there

44:54

needs to be a. They both fall

44:57

in love with Halley Barry and claim her

44:59

as their own. Now do they meet

45:01

her at one of these strip clubs?

45:03

She reluctantly goes along to one

45:05

of her friend's bachelorette parties. That's

45:07

the thing. And they both see

45:10

her exactly between the two of

45:12

them. Like she's come on, she's

45:14

black, she's white, what are you

45:16

talking about? She's mine, no, she's

45:19

not, right? So then, so how

45:21

does it end, does it end

45:23

with them getting back together to

45:25

sleep with her forever? They get

45:27

rejoined? They're separated. Right. The conjoined

45:30

twins. But before, there's a crazy,

45:32

one of the funniest scenes ever

45:34

put to film where Lisa Lampinelli

45:36

fucks the shit out of Tracy

45:38

Morgan. Oh yeah. And it's just,

45:40

while she's attached to Seth Rogan

45:42

and it's just insane and stuff

45:44

being knocked over and a Chinese

45:46

kid lighting firecrackers in the room.

45:48

It's total. Total and say mostly

45:50

improvised but a crazy and sexy

45:52

and trying to talk to his

45:54

mom on at the same time

45:56

on the phone while Tracy's having

45:58

sex with Lisa But Wayne's brothers

46:01

have made worse movies. Absolutely.

46:03

With my worst premises. Absolutely. And

46:05

there's a really disgusting, funny sort

46:07

of everyone. There's something about Mary

46:10

sort of scene where Tracy pulls

46:12

out when he's banging Lisa Lampinelli

46:14

from behind and at the last

46:17

second goes, oh baby, I'm going

46:19

to come all over your back.

46:21

And Lisa smacks him and it

46:23

goes all over. Rogan. Rogan's

46:26

hair. Yeah, like it's like, oh

46:28

dude, it's covered with his own.

46:30

Slimed again, yeah. I didn't know

46:33

all that. All right, I like

46:35

this. By the way, any of

46:37

these movies could be made by

46:40

Hollywood. I'm all for it. Hey, Mike?

46:42

Yeah. Well we had Mike and

46:44

a Michael and a Mike. This

46:46

is Mike. What's happening, Mike?

46:48

Where are you calling from?

46:50

I'm calling from New Hampshire.

46:53

Hey, yeah. We'll never come

46:55

to New Hampshire and do

46:57

comedy, so I'm going to be

46:59

honest with you. I'm only an

47:02

hour north of Boston. Oh, we're

47:04

coming to Boston to do comedy,

47:06

so enjoy. I shall. What's up?

47:08

I'm going to give a made-up

47:11

movie title. This is perhaps a

47:13

character piece called The Bird Feeder.

47:15

Oh, yeah. I have an idea.

47:17

What do you got? I think

47:19

it's a word, really. How about

47:22

Russell Crow is the silent? For

47:24

the first half of the movie, no

47:26

words. Like the piano. Yeah.

47:28

Like Wally. Jane Campion. Yeah.

47:30

He's a quiet, what they think

47:33

is a simple man. Like Boo

47:35

Radley. Yeah. Who's that? He's a

47:37

guy in To Kill a Mockingbird. From

47:39

a book. Yeah. He killed that

47:41

bird. But that bird made into

47:43

a movie, so that's a chance

47:45

he could be familiar. Oh, we

47:47

had that song. That black guy

47:49

used to sing about him. Bo

47:51

Radley, Boley, Boley. Is that a

47:53

thing he only knows the movie?

47:55

He's played by Robert Duval. I'm

47:58

thinking of Bo Diddley. Bonos.

48:00

Bonos. Bonos. Bonos literature. The

48:02

point is this. He, so Russell

48:05

Crow plays a simple man. It's

48:07

a 19, it's a period piece, but

48:09

it's from the 50s. It's a

48:12

very simple man from the 50s

48:14

and he works on a huge

48:16

estate and his job and he's

48:18

a groundskeeper. Where's overalls? And

48:21

he quietly just tends his

48:23

business. But there's a lot

48:25

of those scenes where like

48:27

he's in the yard refilling

48:29

the. Humming bird feeder. He takes

48:31

care of the bird. And he's up

48:34

on his A-frame ladder and he

48:36

sees through the window. What's going

48:38

on? Ah, a little bit Hitchcock.

48:40

Yeah, he can see where we

48:42

see the world through his eyes.

48:44

Like most of the movies are

48:46

about the people that are the

48:48

focal point. The rich guy, the

48:50

industrialist who is the head of

48:52

the house and the matriarch. of the

48:54

house and so and so

48:56

forth. But this is through

48:58

the eyes of one of

49:01

the silent people. An outsider.

49:03

An outsider. An outsider. Right,

49:05

right. Just because, the most

49:07

observant person. Just because he

49:09

doesn't talk. Right. Now, bird's

49:11

eye view. Bird's eye view.

49:13

Starts up a relationship with

49:15

the polio stricken daughter of

49:17

this couple. She's nine. She's

49:19

nine as full blown polio.

49:21

She likes him. And she's friends. And

49:23

she reaches out to him. She's

49:25

the only one who'll, she goes

49:27

around a wheelchair with a blanket

49:30

on her legs, like FDR. And she

49:32

asks about the birds. Uh-huh. She's

49:34

the only one who ever asked him.

49:36

Yeah, yeah. Questions. Yeah. And he's

49:38

a little suspicious, but he opens

49:41

up to her. And we see, there's

49:43

a moment, there's a pivotal

49:45

moment when one of the birds falls

49:47

out of the nest, lands on the

49:49

ground, she picks up the bird and

49:51

snaps its neck its neck quickly. and

49:54

says the bird will be shunned by the

49:56

mother once it smells the presence of the

49:58

human. Does this foreshadow? going to

50:00

happen? Yes, but him explaining it's

50:02

the humane thing to do, but

50:05

her being raped out, but it

50:07

lets the audience know he'll do

50:09

what something's going to happen. He'll

50:11

do what needs to be done,

50:13

if it needs to be done,

50:16

to protect her. I think that's

50:18

what's going to have. I think

50:20

he's going to protect her because

50:22

that's the only person who he's

50:24

close to. Right, right. And then

50:27

we start to realize that the

50:29

father again all through the eye

50:31

of the simpleton groundsman known as

50:33

a Russell Crow that he's a

50:35

philanderer that he's abusive that he's

50:37

a drinker. I mean he's essentially

50:40

Pat Noswold. Wow. That would be

50:42

a pefy role for him. Yeah

50:44

that'd be good. Well he proved

50:46

himself with big fans. He absolutely

50:48

did. He can go dark. He

50:51

was great in that. It was

50:53

a very enjoyable movie. I just

50:55

saw that on cable recently. So

50:57

uh... But we'll probably go for

50:59

a guy, you know, we'll go

51:02

for a Pierce-Prussian. The studio's not

51:04

going to sign off. Yeah, they're

51:06

not going to sign off on

51:08

patent. Not with this kind of

51:10

budget. Pierce-Prussian is the guy that

51:13

will go for that. All right.

51:15

Yeah, and he's very cruel. And

51:17

at a certain point, he's going

51:19

to send Emily, his beloved nine-year-old.

51:21

He really wants, ah, you know

51:23

what? He's not a biological dad.

51:26

He's a biological dad. And he

51:28

wants her sent off to some

51:30

sort of camp somewhere so that

51:32

he can get the home and

51:34

be running in the home because

51:37

she's the benefactor. Well, I think

51:39

he's going to send her to

51:41

an institution for people with polio

51:43

because he's embarrassed to have her

51:45

around. Ah, how about this? Let's

51:48

go darker. She's the benefactor of

51:50

this sprawling estate. Yeah, so he's

51:52

going to kill her. And he's

51:54

poisoning her. He's going to kill

51:56

her. And at some point, the

51:59

bird feeder. settle his hash step

52:01

in. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's

52:03

dark. And then he snaps piers

52:05

for us in his neck. Right.

52:07

Yeah. Just like he did the

52:09

bird. Yeah. He has that weird

52:12

quiet guy, groundsman's strength. Right. I

52:14

don't know why the grounds keepers.

52:16

It's the tandem. Well, yeah. Yeah.

52:18

Yeah. It's like Lening of Mice

52:20

and Men. Yeah, it's a hit.

52:23

Yeah, I don't know that dude

52:25

either, but cool. Is it due

52:27

for Motorhead? Lenny? Of Mice and

52:29

Men? Yeah, the Steinbeck? The Steinbeck?

52:31

You know, right? That guy should

52:34

make the pianos. They made that

52:36

into a movie too. Uh, well

52:38

they made one in black and

52:40

white and then one in gold.

52:42

Now, yeah, is this a dude?

52:45

There's a broader head? No, however.

52:47

Did Anthony Edwards do a version

52:49

of mice in there? Did he?

52:51

Mm-hmm. Gary Siniz did one of

52:53

them. Oh, okay. And, um, oh

52:55

gosh, well, John Knox was funny.

52:58

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. But speaking of- You

53:00

didn't see that? You didn't see

53:02

that one? I just know motorhead,

53:04

I never caught him when I

53:06

came into town. But Lemme, seems

53:09

like an awesome dish. Yeah, he's

53:11

always at the Rainbow. Yeah, you

53:13

can smell him when you drive

53:15

fast. This is one of Brian's

53:17

passions is the metal. Oh, thrash

53:20

metal. Oh, all right. Hey, we

53:22

have a little clip from Brian's

53:24

album, by the way. Part two

53:26

of the news. Should we hear

53:28

a little clip? Yeah. Fart and

53:31

Wiener Jokes, this is off Brian

53:33

Possain's new album. Let's hear it.

53:35

Oh, this is the gambler. Oh,

53:37

the gambler, that's right, the remake

53:39

of the gambler. Yeah, smart. This

53:41

song was asking to be met

53:44

all this whole time. We never

53:46

thought about it, yeah. until war

53:48

to overtook us and he began

53:50

to speak. He said, son, I

53:52

made a lot of, out of

53:55

reading people's faces and knowing what

53:57

the cars were. Don't

54:51

you sign up on it. You'd

54:54

be like, uh, cancel my classic

54:56

surgery this morning. I want to

54:58

hear this post-ane song. Yeah. Well,

55:01

don't they have to, I don't

55:03

know, when you, when you, uh,

55:05

re-record something, I think somebody has

55:08

to approve it. Yeah, I guess

55:10

they do. I would have liked

55:12

a coward of the county or,

55:15

let's see, a ruby. Ruby. I

55:17

mean, don't take your love to

55:19

town. That's next. Have you ever

55:22

really broken down the lyrics to

55:24

Ruby, don't take your love to

55:26

town? Well, she's a whore, right?

55:29

Well, not really by trade, but

55:31

she has to because she's a

55:33

young woman and she needs, she

55:36

has needs that aren't being satisfied

55:38

by him because he was broken

55:40

down in Korea, I believe. He

55:42

was left bent and twisted by

55:45

the Asianic war. Do you have

55:47

that song, right? If you really

55:49

listen to the lyrics here, it's

55:52

quite a... it starts off. You

55:54

painted up your lips and rolling

55:56

curls your tended hands. Yeah, she's

55:59

pouring herself up. He's good. He's

56:01

good. He's good. All right, so

56:03

she put the curlers on and

56:06

painted up her face. Right, so

56:08

she put the curlers on and

56:10

painted up her face. Right. Now

56:13

it's getting dark and she's heading

56:15

into town. So far... You know,

56:17

so good, it's all right. Yeah,

56:20

not a subtle bummer yet. Yeah,

56:22

maybe there's a nice Trader Joe's

56:24

or something. Yeah, I don't know

56:27

why, she's going to town, and

56:29

now we find out. Just go

56:31

out and take her love with

56:34

it. Then start that crazy Asian

56:36

war. But I was proud to

56:38

go into my patriotic show. I

56:41

got drafted anyway. She's proud, yeah.

56:43

You're proud. Yes, it's true that

56:45

I'm not the man I used

56:47

to be. To me, that means

56:50

he can't perform. Right. Yeah. He

56:52

can't satisfy his younger wife. You

56:54

know, he's not what he was,

56:57

but he still needs to need

56:59

some company. He'll need some company.

57:01

Right. It's a good man. It's

57:04

a patriot. It's hard to know

57:06

if a man whose legs have

57:08

been in paralyzed. I

57:14

like this part. I have longed

57:16

until he's dead. Everybody's dead. Everybody's

57:19

counting the day. It's a nice

57:21

way to say it. I like

57:23

this part. I've longed till he's

57:26

dead. Yeah. Everybody's counting the day.

57:28

Right. It's quietly when the most

57:31

depressing TV in the world. Our

57:33

nation's hero. Yeah. He's basically banging

57:35

his young wife not to go

57:38

fuck some strangers to town. She's

57:40

splitting. Turns out he has another

57:43

side to him too. She does

57:45

another side to him too. She

57:47

does a lot of... and that

57:50

was just this week, so she

57:52

does a lot of fucking in

57:54

town. And if I could move,

57:57

I'd get my guy... And put

57:59

her in the ground. He put

58:02

her in the ground if he

58:04

could move. I can't move. Lucky

58:06

for her. Yeah. I know. If

58:09

you want to hang around with

58:11

a guy, want to put you

58:14

in the ground? Maybe that's why

58:16

she takes her love to town.

58:18

Don't take her love. Yeah, I'd

58:21

move my love into town too

58:23

if I was going to be

58:26

putting the ground. And I love

58:28

that the song is so cheery

58:30

sounding too. Yeah, it's like, hey,

58:33

yeah, it sounds like a sial

58:35

commercial. Yeah, you kind of want

58:38

the backup vocals to go, wait,

58:40

what did you say? You're going

58:42

to put in the ground? wife's

58:45

guy going to go in town

58:47

and fuck. Yeah, I'm gonna play

58:50

Rudy again. Isn't a beat ditty

58:52

about a paralyzed guy whose wife

58:54

is a whore? Yeah, yeah. Had

58:57

to be weird when the guy

58:59

who just did the drum track

59:01

for it, the session musician who

59:04

laid it down months earlier. That's

59:06

for Kenny Rogers song. He probably

59:09

thought it was another, you know,

59:11

a foot snapper. Yeah, so then

59:13

his dad thinks that oh, it's

59:16

singing about him. Yeah, then he

59:18

gets into some trouble at home

59:21

And it's just a session drummer.

59:23

Yeah, I did write that but

59:25

but you know I just tell

59:28

a family story in Korea. Mother's

59:30

a whore now Yeah, well, there

59:33

is it's funny bring that up.

59:35

Do you have the coward of

59:37

the county? All right, we'll work

59:40

on that. Yeah, that one's a

59:42

bummer too, right. Well, not only

59:45

that but you know, you know,

59:47

She's gang raped by the Gatlin

59:49

Brothers. Oh, I thought about that.

59:52

That happens in the lyrics? Well,

59:54

the thing that's nutty about the

59:57

coward of the county. And Lucile's

59:59

a bummer, too, like, right? Every

1:00:01

song he quietly sings, except for

1:00:04

Islands in the stream, is a

1:00:06

bummer. Wait, what happens in Lucile?

1:00:09

There's some grief going on, I

1:00:11

can't remember. Yeah. No. And Lucille's

1:00:13

got 18 kids or something. Yeah,

1:00:16

it's already done. You can work

1:00:18

the lyrics out to Lucille. Yeah.

1:00:20

Yella. That was kind of like

1:00:23

Possains growing up, right? No dad.

1:00:25

Everyone thought you have the counter

1:00:28

to the counter? Yeah, sure. Well,

1:00:30

at least reddish. Yeah. Redish yellow?

1:00:32

Yeah. Because he was my brother's

1:00:35

son. Oh, so he's the uncle.

1:00:37

I still recall the final words.

1:00:40

Brothers said, Tommy, son, my life

1:00:42

is over, but yours is just

1:00:44

begun. So,

1:00:48

uh... Before the chorus. The dad,

1:00:50

yeah, the dad died in the

1:00:53

joint. By the way, I didn't

1:00:55

fuck with kids whose dad died

1:00:57

in the joint. Right. That was

1:00:59

my policy? No, I would picking

1:01:02

on people. I feel like it's

1:01:04

a pretty scrappy kid who's seen

1:01:06

a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Dad probably

1:01:09

taught him how to make a

1:01:11

shank. Yeah. Yeah. I see the

1:01:13

guy with the teardrop tattoo next

1:01:15

to the teard. She

1:01:19

loved Becky. She loved him

1:01:21

for who he was. Yeah,

1:01:23

yeah, exactly. She didn't care

1:01:25

about his, that his dad,

1:01:27

that person. Cantlin boys came

1:01:30

a call. They took turns

1:01:32

at Becky. Wait. There were

1:01:34

three of them. They took

1:01:36

turns at Becky. They took

1:01:38

turns at Becky. There were

1:01:40

three of them. The only

1:01:42

girl he loved was the

1:01:44

only girl that the only

1:01:46

girl he loved was affected

1:01:48

and loved him back. Yeah,

1:01:51

she has dad died in

1:01:53

prison. She liked him. for

1:01:55

what he was. Everyone else

1:01:57

knew he was yeller. Right,

1:01:59

right. And evidently a pussy.

1:02:01

Okay. Becky saw him for

1:02:03

what he was and she

1:02:05

loved it. And then his

1:02:07

Gatling brothers came along. They

1:02:09

had had her. They had

1:02:12

at her. They each took

1:02:14

turns. They each took turns

1:02:16

and there were three. And

1:02:18

when he stopped he goes.

1:02:20

And there were three of

1:02:22

them. Wow. Gross. Gross. And

1:02:24

the best part about this

1:02:26

whole story is when I

1:02:28

interviewed Kenny Roberts. Kenny Rogers

1:02:30

was a motorcycle race from

1:02:32

the 70s. Kenny Rogers. I

1:02:35

said, there was an act

1:02:37

called The Gatlin Brothers. They

1:02:39

were pretty famous around your

1:02:41

time. He's like, yeah, I

1:02:43

know. I toured with them

1:02:45

many years. I'm like, were

1:02:47

they rapist? How many Gatlin

1:02:49

brothers were there? There were

1:02:51

three of them. So when

1:02:53

you talked about the gang

1:02:56

rapist named the Gatlin brothers

1:02:58

when there were three of

1:03:00

them and you were touring

1:03:02

with the Gatlin brothers, didn't

1:03:04

you pause and go into

1:03:06

making the Johnson brothers and

1:03:08

making four of them or

1:03:10

making the Baldwin brothers and

1:03:12

making six of them? Like

1:03:14

why the guys? He's like,

1:03:17

yeah. There you go. And

1:03:19

he started laughing and I

1:03:21

was like, I did a

1:03:23

shout out for you on

1:03:25

my new song. I got

1:03:27

a shout out for you

1:03:29

on my new song. I

1:03:31

got a shout out for

1:03:33

you. So the gatlin brothers,

1:03:35

like the gatlin brothers, hey,

1:03:38

who's in the gang rape?

1:03:40

Hold the lighter over your

1:03:42

head. All right. This next

1:03:44

song is not about consensual

1:03:46

sex. All right, so the

1:03:48

gatlin brothers, where there's three

1:03:50

gatlin brothers in real life,

1:03:52

and there's three of them

1:03:54

who raped Becky. Back in.

1:03:56

and purple legs to stop

1:03:59

it. Right. His dad had

1:04:01

already told him not to

1:04:03

do what he's done. Yeah.

1:04:05

They saw the picture. So

1:04:07

was his dad in jail

1:04:09

for messing up some dudes?

1:04:11

I'm guessing it wasn't tax

1:04:13

evasion. Yeah, yeah. Rarely, really

1:04:15

a topic touched upon in

1:04:17

the country world, you know.

1:04:20

Yeah, wasn't white collar crime?

1:04:22

Well, what really, right? With

1:04:24

deduction, right, right. Imbezzle has

1:04:26

stopped. Yeah, it's a tough

1:04:28

one, too, yeah. He

1:04:31

was 1099 by his former

1:04:33

employer in the previous tax

1:04:35

quarter. He didn't claim enough

1:04:37

dependents. It's really it's wordy.

1:04:39

You know, better just put

1:04:42

a man in the ground

1:04:44

safer. Safer. Safer arrives faster

1:04:46

too. in his refractory period.

1:04:48

Oh. Tommy turned around, they

1:04:50

said, hey look all yellers

1:04:52

leaving. She could have heard

1:04:54

a pen drop when Tommy

1:04:56

stopped and locked the door.

1:04:59

Oh, we locked the door.

1:05:01

Yeah, it's the badest ass

1:05:03

move in the world. No,

1:05:05

that's the badest ass move

1:05:07

in the world is putting

1:05:09

the closed sign. Yeah, that

1:05:11

means you're giving, you know,

1:05:13

no one's leaving. You're giving

1:05:16

a world-class ass kick and

1:05:18

you lock the door, but

1:05:20

although I would argue if

1:05:22

I own the tavern, I'd

1:05:24

be like, hey man. We're

1:05:26

still up. I'm trying to

1:05:28

do business. Tourists are coming

1:05:31

in on top. This is

1:05:33

kind of my busy night?

1:05:35

Yeah. You guys can fight,

1:05:37

but you don't have to,

1:05:39

you know. Take it to

1:05:41

one and show some beers.

1:05:43

Yeah, really. We make most

1:05:45

of our money from the

1:05:48

bar. I do have bills

1:05:50

to pay. Yeah. The administrator

1:05:52

asked me, and the people

1:05:54

are going to drink some

1:05:56

beers. I'm sorry. It's bottled

1:05:58

up inside it. You

1:06:02

know,

1:06:04

he's

1:06:06

got

1:06:08

a

1:06:11

lot

1:06:13

of

1:06:15

ass

1:06:17

who

1:06:20

opened

1:06:22

again.

1:06:32

Maybe dad beat the shit out

1:06:34

of Gatlin Senior. But yet, the

1:06:36

other thing is, the sign of

1:06:38

a baddest, when somebody starts talking

1:06:40

to themselves after they just kick

1:06:42

your ass, like that's frightening. Yeah.

1:06:45

Talking to their dead. Yeah. Talking

1:06:47

to Jesus or whoever they're talking

1:06:49

to. That's just bad news. They

1:06:51

should be talking to the police.

1:06:53

But anyone else, you got problems,

1:06:56

yeah. Yeah. So there you go.

1:06:58

He wants to cover it in

1:07:00

the county. And there's a very

1:07:02

valuable lesson in this. What is it? Don't

1:07:04

mess with... Yeah, don't fuck with that

1:07:07

guy because after the guy's dad is

1:07:09

in prison. Brother's gay, right? You're Becky,

1:07:11

then you're going to beat everyone into

1:07:14

a coma at a tavern. I mean,

1:07:16

it's again... Stop lifting message. Don't taunt

1:07:18

the guy whose wife he just raped,

1:07:20

too. Like, hey, yeah, I'm just leaving.

1:07:23

Oh, that's the lesson. Yeah. You do

1:07:25

a lot of that in movies. Yeah.

1:07:27

Talking after the raping is really

1:07:29

the cherry on the horrible

1:07:32

side. Yeah, it's one thing

1:07:34

to gang rape your girl.

1:07:36

Yeah. But then call you

1:07:38

yellow on top of it?

1:07:40

Yeah. During your refracting? Yeah.

1:07:42

True, he's lying, yeah. And

1:07:44

he just went to talk

1:07:46

to those fellows. He just

1:07:48

wouldn't see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, or give

1:07:50

me a heads up when you get a

1:07:52

rape or so I can put a rape

1:07:55

and dress on. Because this one's all torn

1:07:57

and covered with dew. And that was an

1:07:59

expensive dress. I got my, you know,

1:08:01

tea, I don't want to get gross

1:08:03

here, but you have your period underpants,

1:08:05

right? Oh yeah. So you have your

1:08:07

raping dress. Right, you don't mind if

1:08:10

a little blood gets on it. It's

1:08:12

ripped up, it's ripped up, it's going

1:08:14

to change your oil. Well, when you're

1:08:16

going to change your oil in your

1:08:18

car, you don't put on a tux,

1:08:21

you know, you're going to get dirtied

1:08:23

up? Yeah. Oh no, we have an

1:08:25

outfit for rape. That's what I'm saying.

1:08:27

Yeah. Same, same, same, same shirt that

1:08:29

I wear to change my car oil.

1:08:32

Yeah. And put my Tampa in-provesiated on

1:08:34

it. Elastic waist pants. Yeah. Right. And

1:08:36

to me, it's whatever I saw. Pat

1:08:38

and Oswald wearing last because you know

1:08:40

why are you feeling like patent today?

1:08:42

No he's a good guy just so

1:08:45

I just went when the lineup hits

1:08:47

you know what I mean? Nobody's gonna

1:08:49

ever mistake you for him. Yeah you

1:08:51

know it but I feel like they

1:08:53

go to a blackout thing and I

1:08:56

think the guy was funny I saw

1:08:58

him on cable huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh. He did a

1:09:00

kind of serious movie that people enjoyed

1:09:02

but nobody watched. Well, there you go.

1:09:04

You got an Oswald right there, buddy.

1:09:07

You're talking about the man, are you

1:09:09

not? I would just be interested in

1:09:11

Kenny's writing process. Like when you sit

1:09:13

down, do you first get the melody?

1:09:15

Or do you first think about like

1:09:17

a ripe situation that shouldn't end itself

1:09:20

to songs? It's got to be weird

1:09:22

for the guy who collaborates with Kenny

1:09:24

because the guy probably writes the music.

1:09:26

I just wrote this little little ditty.

1:09:28

bucking off a horse or a picnic

1:09:31

or something like that. I got one

1:09:33

about gang rape in and it's like

1:09:35

what? No, no, no. This is going

1:09:37

to be a little toe tapper. Remember

1:09:39

this is going to be like for

1:09:42

hay rides and shit like that. Come

1:09:44

on Kenny. I got one about a

1:09:46

guy who's laid for bent and twisted

1:09:48

and the Korean War. It's going to

1:09:50

be awesome. Yeah, it's got to be

1:09:52

weird because you know there's some guy

1:09:55

probably lays down the lick and he

1:09:57

gives it to Kenny. And then Kenny

1:09:59

does the lyrics. And again, one of

1:10:01

these days, if we can book them,

1:10:03

we'll get the Gatlin Brothers in here

1:10:06

and see what they have to say

1:10:08

about being a serial rapist. It was

1:10:10

great. us into a song, but then

1:10:12

when we heard this song, good news

1:10:14

and bad news. Yeah. The manager told

1:10:17

us Kenny wrote us into something. Yeah.

1:10:19

Kenny was a good buddy up until

1:10:21

that point. Yeah, like, uh, you know,

1:10:23

when someone writes a book and they

1:10:25

thanked their wife, this is kind of

1:10:28

the opposite of the opposite of that.

1:10:30

All right, let's give a quick plug

1:10:32

for Brian Posey before we bring this

1:10:34

baby home. Fart and Wiener Jokes is

1:10:36

the name of him. You got a

1:10:38

little sidetrack with Kenny, but hey, what

1:10:41

are you going to do? That's the

1:10:43

way the show rolls. He's going to

1:10:45

be at the pipeline in Honolulu, September

1:10:47

1st. Good times, everybody. Oh, I forgot

1:10:49

to give a shout-out to one of

1:10:52

our best sponsors. Hell, they're not even

1:10:54

sponsors. They're friends. Nay. Lovers. Go to

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my PC. That's right. Go to my

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PC.com. How's it work? Well, you have

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a computer. Could be Macintosh. Could be

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a PC. And you're away from your

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office. And damn it, you need something

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from the office. Or your... playing the

1:11:09

pipeline and Honolulu and there's something on

1:11:11

your home computer Brian your book at

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the pipeline you got a picture what

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am I going to do and I

1:11:18

want to pull this thing up and

1:11:20

I can't it's at your home computer

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and your lovely wife is with you

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and your beautiful 15 month old is

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with you as well well well what

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do you do go to my PC.com

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special offer 45 day free trial just

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visit, go to my PC.com and click

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on the try and free button. Remember

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to use the promo code Adam, that's

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the only way you get it for

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15 days for free. I should say

1:11:46

45 days. For free. So until next

1:11:48

time, the Sam Corolla for Ballbrine, Brian

1:11:51

Possain, and Teresa Strauss, there, and

1:11:53

Mahalo. Yeah, time for a little

1:11:55

extra content. assist from my good

1:11:57

buddy Brian. Yeah, always good to

1:11:59

have you back. Well I'm stuck

1:12:01

here because President Obama is in

1:12:03

town and he's doing a fundraiser

1:12:05

apparently in my neighborhood and they've

1:12:07

stopped traffic on all the major

1:12:09

streets. There I'll just by my

1:12:11

wife just texted me a picture

1:12:13

and people are stopped like on

1:12:15

our side streets like can't even

1:12:17

get through. Yeah, let me say

1:12:19

this. I've complained about this before

1:12:21

and listen ass wipes. Don't explain

1:12:23

to me the nuances of... politicking.

1:12:25

Where and how does it work

1:12:27

where you get to go out

1:12:29

not at the halfway point of

1:12:31

your own campaign and I was

1:12:33

shouting about this when you did

1:12:35

the view a few weeks ago

1:12:37

and start going out neither campaigning

1:12:39

for yourself or somebody else. Get

1:12:41

the fuck to work. You're the

1:12:43

god damn president. You have arguably

1:12:45

the most important job on the

1:12:47

planet. Certainly top three. Yes. Other

1:12:49

than being a parent. That's why

1:12:51

I'm paying a Mexican lady to

1:12:53

do it while I'm here. Especially

1:12:55

as a most important job. The

1:12:57

point is this. You have, let's

1:13:00

just put it this way, you

1:13:02

have the most important job in

1:13:04

this country. How about you hang

1:13:06

in the office and get some

1:13:08

work done? And don't give me

1:13:10

this fucking, oh you're just a

1:13:12

brocator. I'd say this to every

1:13:14

president every time. They're going on

1:13:16

vacation, and I don't mind a

1:13:18

vacation. But the fundraising and the

1:13:20

campaigning for other fucking politicians, and

1:13:22

by the way, once that you

1:13:24

probably don't even know or necessarily

1:13:26

like, they just happen to be

1:13:28

in your party, knock it to

1:13:30

fuck off. I mean, who's he

1:13:32

raising money for this time? I

1:13:34

have no idea, but it's obviously

1:13:36

probably a democratic candidate, right? Somewhere

1:13:38

here on a congressional race. Well,

1:13:40

here's who we have. We have

1:13:42

Barbara Boxer over here who's... horrific.

1:13:44

We have Diane Feinstein is probably

1:13:46

worse than she is and then

1:13:48

only leaves Schwarzer and via Ritardo.

1:13:50

All of them are fucking not

1:13:52

worthy of raising a fucking penny

1:13:54

for. I wouldn't take what was

1:13:56

in my fucking ashtray, or even

1:13:58

Dawson's, which has nothing but Roachcliffs

1:14:00

in it, and give it to

1:14:02

those fucking idiots. By the way,

1:14:04

here's all you need to know.

1:14:06

California better before these fucking charlatans

1:14:08

got to town or worse. Obviously

1:14:10

it's worse, the place is a

1:14:12

dump, Brock needs to go the

1:14:14

fuck back to the Oval Office

1:14:16

and get some shit done. Yeah,

1:14:18

the vacation, you're right, don't mind.

1:14:20

They've got Camp David and designated

1:14:22

places for that, but the interruption

1:14:25

of daily life for millions, and

1:14:27

maybe the busiest intersections in the

1:14:29

United States. You know what I

1:14:31

mean? These are major... And who

1:14:33

the fuck? And who the fuck?

1:14:35

And just make a phone call.

1:14:37

How about you Skype him in?

1:14:39

Let's, does that work with black

1:14:41

people? No. Okay. Throw is late.

1:14:43

Did not. No, not. I just,

1:14:45

I just meant, I didn't know

1:14:47

if it's a black and light

1:14:49

technology. They didn't show up or

1:14:51

something. Here I am being racist.

1:14:53

Damn it. They're always late. All

1:14:55

right, so they're on wrapper time.

1:14:57

I wonder if Rock's on wrapper

1:14:59

time too. Either way, whoever you

1:15:01

are, whatever side of the aisle

1:15:03

you're on, let's go ahead and

1:15:05

get to the halfway point of

1:15:07

your contract. You have a four-year

1:15:09

contract. You've decided to start shopping

1:15:11

around deals for other teams like

1:15:13

you're a fucking free agent. You

1:15:15

have a no trade clause. 19

1:15:17

months in your 48-month contract. Let's

1:15:19

get busy. and stop working for

1:15:21

other players on other teams and

1:15:23

other contracts just because you're both

1:15:25

lefties. Fuck that. Get back to

1:15:27

the fucking Oval Office and get

1:15:29

busy. And how can we never

1:15:31

say anything about? It's like, oh,

1:15:33

Barack Obama made a campaign stop.

1:15:35

He's swinging by California to do

1:15:37

a fundraiser. It's $5,000 a plate

1:15:39

for Diane Feinstein. Get the fuck

1:15:41

back to Washington and get the

1:15:43

fuck to work. Or do we

1:15:45

not have crime, Let me say

1:15:47

this too. How much difference do

1:15:50

these guys make? Remember we're all

1:15:52

bracing ourselves for the big change?

1:15:54

What really... What was the big

1:15:56

change that came in? Remember? It's

1:15:58

time for change? You're going to

1:16:00

be a big change? Prepare for

1:16:02

change? Hope and change? Hope and

1:16:04

change? Maybe it meant like change.

1:16:06

It's almost left in my pocket.

1:16:08

Hope and a little change. All

1:16:10

right, anyway, you can sleep here

1:16:12

tonight, Paul Bryan. I might. How

1:16:14

long do these things usually go?

1:16:16

There's extra content. Well, like, two

1:16:18

questions, how long are they supposed

1:16:20

to go? How long do you

1:16:22

make make them? We far exceeded

1:16:24

our allotmentment of time. All right,

1:16:26

does Adam Purlough Show 384, Coward

1:16:28

County, a great revisiting of the

1:16:30

Kenny Rogers Stuff in the Morning

1:16:32

Show, and the next clip actually

1:16:34

plays perfectly into that. This is

1:16:36

Adam Purlough Show 1857, using Larry

1:16:38

Gatlin in 2016. Check it out.

1:16:40

Yeah, get it on. Got to

1:16:42

get it on, no choice but

1:16:44

to get it on, Mandate, get

1:16:46

it on, and welcome to the

1:16:48

show. We're doing a little one-on-one

1:16:50

with Larry Gatlin. Good to see

1:16:52

you, my friend. Thank you. Good

1:16:54

to see you. Larry, of course,

1:16:56

well, has quite a solo career.

1:16:58

Also, the Gatlin Brothers is where

1:17:00

you probably know him best sold

1:17:02

millions. How many records? Brag a

1:17:04

little about the Gatlin Brothers before

1:17:06

we started. First of all, they're

1:17:08

my best friends. Wow. You can,

1:17:10

we've been doing it for 61

1:17:12

years, believe it or not. We

1:17:15

started when we've been doing it

1:17:17

for 61 years, being in backstage

1:17:19

limos buses trains planes you know

1:17:21

and on stage and doing it

1:17:23

all that we get along famously

1:17:25

together when you consider all that

1:17:27

there like i say we love

1:17:29

each other we're kind of connected

1:17:31

at the soul i think with

1:17:33

the music the first we had

1:17:35

eight number one records i wrote

1:17:37

all those eight they're the best

1:17:39

harmony singers i tell people they're

1:17:41

not my backup group they are

1:17:43

what the gatlin brother sound is

1:17:45

about so if those eight records

1:17:47

the first six were on a

1:17:49

little independent Monument Records, Fred Foster

1:17:51

was the producer, he produced Roy

1:17:53

Orbison, you know, on Monument, did

1:17:55

all those great songs. But we

1:17:57

didn't sell... a lot of records.

1:17:59

It was a little independent record

1:18:01

company. The radio stations loved the

1:18:03

sound of the records. The fans

1:18:05

requested it. And that's how we

1:18:07

kind of got the records on

1:18:09

the charts. But we didn't tell

1:18:11

a whole lot of records. We

1:18:13

got a lot of airplay and

1:18:15

I made money as the songwriter.

1:18:17

Gary, give me a list of

1:18:19

some Catlin brother number ones. Well,

1:18:21

I know him by heart. Do

1:18:23

you know him? Well, yeah, I'm

1:18:25

kidding. They bought me a big

1:18:27

house with a circle driving a

1:18:29

color TV. Hell yeah, I know

1:18:31

him. I want to speak in

1:18:33

a circle with the circular drive.

1:18:35

I want to circle back to

1:18:37

the brothers because I have spoken

1:18:40

to people here who are in

1:18:42

brother bands. You know, the black

1:18:44

crows and the Gallagher brothers and

1:18:46

guys like that. They famously oasis,

1:18:48

they famously don't get along. Like

1:18:50

the band is, the band is,

1:18:52

the band is hard enough, but

1:18:54

being in a band with your

1:18:56

brother somehow makes it tougher. For

1:18:58

most people, it doesn't work out

1:19:00

for most people. But for you,

1:19:02

you say these guys are still

1:19:04

your best friends. Well, here's the

1:19:06

deal. I'm not going to try

1:19:08

to be Billy Graham on you,

1:19:10

you know, and seeing Come to

1:19:12

Jesus and B-flat. However, and I'm

1:19:14

not going to question anyone's spiritual

1:19:16

motivation for their experience or anything

1:19:18

else, we're of the Christian ethic.

1:19:20

We were raised in church singing

1:19:22

gospel music. We believe that our

1:19:24

music, you know, it's subtlety about

1:19:26

the man who loves the jobs

1:19:28

always on vacation. All right, we

1:19:30

have loved our job, we've loved

1:19:32

each other, we believe that the

1:19:34

ability came from a higher power,

1:19:36

and so when things... Fall apart

1:19:38

and as William Butler Yates says

1:19:40

when the center will not hold

1:19:42

you know when things fall apart

1:19:44

as they do When records don't

1:19:46

go to number one when people

1:19:48

My buddy Roger Miller said a

1:19:50

lot of people were coming to

1:19:52

his shows dressed as empty seats

1:19:54

Okay, that's a miller that King

1:19:56

of the Road guy? That King

1:19:58

of the Road guy. Oh, trailer.

1:20:00

Not sailor. Or trailer. That's a

1:20:02

totally different. Sailor. For the rent.

1:20:05

Rooms. Oh, it does change the

1:20:07

whole thing. All you do is

1:20:09

go from sailor to trailer. And

1:20:11

it just is a totally different

1:20:13

movie. The total, yes, the total

1:20:15

vibe of the song. So I

1:20:17

think that's what it does. We

1:20:19

believe that we have been given

1:20:21

a gift to uplift our fellow

1:20:23

man, to entertain our fellow man,

1:20:25

and to make money. Those are

1:20:27

all three good things. Where did

1:20:29

all this positivity come from? Where

1:20:31

did you grow up? What did

1:20:33

your daddy do? Daddy was a

1:20:35

hard work man. He's 89 years

1:20:37

old. He's I tell people he's

1:20:39

not a former marine or an

1:20:41

ex-marine He's just an 89 year

1:20:43

old marine not currently on active

1:20:45

duty So he's locked and loaded

1:20:47

and ready to go so we

1:20:49

learned that ethic from him of

1:20:51

service Even though neither one of

1:20:53

us were in the service, I

1:20:55

was 296 in the draft. What's

1:20:57

296? Number 290, I didn't have

1:20:59

to go. Oh, oh, Vietnam. I

1:21:01

thought that meant fallen arches or

1:21:03

something. Because that's the new remedy.

1:21:05

But he taught us the love

1:21:07

and respect for the military and

1:21:09

for our country, and to a

1:21:11

certain extent, the spiritual side, but

1:21:13

that was kind of left to

1:21:15

mom. Because he was working in

1:21:17

the awful, he didn't get to

1:21:19

go to church with us very

1:21:21

much. So that's where we learned

1:21:23

it. Let's circle driveway back to

1:21:25

the love and respect for the

1:21:27

country and the military. Obviously what's

1:21:30

going on out right now is

1:21:32

insane, in terms of the country

1:21:34

and the police and the military

1:21:36

and everything else. And I think

1:21:38

that it leads, here's what I'm

1:21:40

feeling on a psychological level. You

1:21:42

can't take a whole bunch of

1:21:44

people, give him a whole bunch

1:21:46

of free shit and then tell

1:21:48

him. how miserable they should be

1:21:50

and how angry they should be

1:21:52

at the government and the cops

1:21:54

and expect them to have fruitful

1:21:56

lives and be happy about their

1:21:58

station in life. Of course you

1:22:00

can. You just did it. You

1:22:02

ought to run for something. I

1:22:04

should run for something, but are

1:22:06

those people ever going to... I'm

1:22:08

really... Every year I get older

1:22:10

I start thinking about how worthless

1:22:12

everything is if anyone hands it

1:22:14

to you. Unless you go get

1:22:16

it, as a matter of fact,

1:22:18

when you start handing it to

1:22:20

them they start to present you.

1:22:22

And it's a micro thing. I've

1:22:24

had it happen with family members

1:22:26

where you loan them some money

1:22:28

or you put their kids through

1:22:30

private school or you do whatever

1:22:32

you do and at the end

1:22:34

they end up presenting you. Yeah,

1:22:36

they're pissed because you think they

1:22:38

ought to pay it back. Even

1:22:40

if you don't think they should

1:22:42

pay it back, they're still pissed

1:22:44

because you basically shame them and

1:22:46

I think you think I've realized

1:22:48

that shame is the most powerful

1:22:50

emotion there is and if you

1:22:53

on the planet if you said

1:22:55

To If you said to me,

1:22:57

let's just say to me, hey,

1:22:59

you're an asshole, I'd go, yeah,

1:23:01

all right. And they'd say, hey,

1:23:03

you're this, that, and the other,

1:23:05

you're not funny, you know, okay,

1:23:07

that's fine. I make millions of

1:23:09

dollars being funny, like, it's fine.

1:23:11

But if you tell me something

1:23:13

that hits home, you know, if

1:23:15

you get into, hey, you're not

1:23:17

spending enough time with your kids,

1:23:19

I've been, you're going to get

1:23:21

some bark, you're getting some bite

1:23:23

back at you if you come

1:23:25

at me with that or something

1:23:27

that strikes a nerve something that

1:23:29

feels like there's some kernels of

1:23:31

truth there and and that brings

1:23:33

out shame and shame brings out

1:23:35

rage and I've experienced in my

1:23:37

own life a whole bunch which

1:23:39

is tell somebody anything call them

1:23:41

anything they don't care there's just

1:23:43

words or names or whatever tap

1:23:45

into something that they really do

1:23:47

feel like may be true and

1:23:49

you get ferocious anger. Any parent

1:23:51

that tells a child you should

1:23:53

be ashamed of yourself, they ought

1:23:55

to get bitch-slapped right there. I

1:23:57

like that. Absolutely bitch-slapped. Shame? I

1:23:59

have been shamed before. by parents,

1:24:01

by teachers. All it means is

1:24:03

that parent or that teacher doesn't

1:24:05

have anything to really tell that

1:24:07

child to aid that child's growth

1:24:09

or to show that child where

1:24:11

they might have gone wrong, putting

1:24:13

your hand on the fire. Shame

1:24:15

is the most debilitating, that and

1:24:18

having a bad back are the

1:24:20

most debilitating things. Yeah, that planet.

1:24:22

I agree and I believe when

1:24:24

you hand everyone just enough to

1:24:26

get by on or everything, they

1:24:28

feel a sense of shame because

1:24:30

obviously... if you're handing adult something

1:24:32

and saying look I know you

1:24:34

can't afford to feed your kids

1:24:36

lunch you know it's my whole

1:24:38

thing with these school lunch programs

1:24:40

or school breakfast or now they

1:24:42

have school dinners and now there's

1:24:44

this whole thing about well who's

1:24:46

gonna feed them during the summertime

1:24:48

I tell people all time and

1:24:50

my friends on the left take

1:24:52

it run with it and turn

1:24:54

it into something else which is

1:24:56

I want I made my son

1:24:58

and daughter eggs this morning. It

1:25:00

probably cost me 41 cents. It

1:25:02

took me seven minutes. My son

1:25:04

appreciated it. I appreciated it. He

1:25:06

liked some scrambled. She liked some

1:25:08

sunny side up. It was a

1:25:10

little moment of me taking care

1:25:12

of my kids. It's symbolic mostly,

1:25:14

but they appreciate it. We had

1:25:16

a little moment and it doesn't

1:25:18

cost anything. When I tell everybody,

1:25:20

I want you to cook your

1:25:22

kids' breakfast. It's not because... I

1:25:24

want you to save me money.

1:25:26

I want you to have that

1:25:28

bond with your kids. And I

1:25:30

also don't want your kids growing

1:25:32

up, assuming that somebody's going to

1:25:34

get them breakfast other than their

1:25:36

family. I want them counting on

1:25:38

you. I want that carved into

1:25:40

their fabric of their DNA. I

1:25:43

don't want them at age eight

1:25:45

looking around and wondering what kind

1:25:47

of slop the government's going to

1:25:49

throw in the tray and hand

1:25:51

them in the... cafeteria because that

1:25:53

just perpetuates leads to other things

1:25:55

and the food is empty calories

1:25:57

and emotionally it's empty calories the

1:25:59

kid gets nothing out of it

1:26:01

nutritionally and certainly emotionally it's a

1:26:03

horrible message so when I say

1:26:05

feed your kids breakfast I'm not

1:26:07

saying it to save taxpayer money

1:26:09

I'm saying it so that your

1:26:11

kid can grow up to be

1:26:13

a citizen and cook his kids'

1:26:15

breakfast or her kids' breakfast. Well,

1:26:17

you've carved it. You talked about

1:26:19

carving it in your DNA before

1:26:21

that very morning, the moment that

1:26:23

you did the eggs, you have

1:26:25

been raising them in a certain

1:26:27

way to respect certain things. You

1:26:29

know, hey, maybe they're supposed to

1:26:31

clean their room because daddy did

1:26:33

them. There is something a give

1:26:35

and take for that. My old

1:26:37

and dear friend who is still

1:26:39

my old and dear friend. George

1:26:41

W. W. Bush called it. the

1:26:43

soft bigotry of low expectations. I

1:26:45

love that line. If nothing is

1:26:47

ever expected in return, it reinforces

1:26:49

that those people can't do anything.

1:26:51

If you got up and gave

1:26:53

them the eggs every morning, drove

1:26:55

them to school, when they came

1:26:57

home you did their homework for

1:26:59

them, you know, everything in the

1:27:01

world, first of all, they're not...

1:27:03

I would not want to be

1:27:05

in a lifeboat with Hillary Clinton

1:27:08

or Barack Obama, because they wouldn't

1:27:10

want to row. They just want

1:27:12

to tell other people how to

1:27:14

row and then they'd be bitching

1:27:16

about you're not rowing fast enough.

1:27:18

They don't know how to do

1:27:20

anything. They don't know how to

1:27:22

use their hands to do a

1:27:24

day's work. Our father taught us

1:27:26

to do that. Our father taught

1:27:28

us to do that. Daddy took

1:27:30

me out to work with him.

1:27:32

He was a driller and I

1:27:34

was roughneck. He came in one

1:27:36

morning. I had cooked my own

1:27:38

eggs. I'm serious. I had scrambled

1:27:40

eggs and made a little coffee

1:27:42

and some orange juice. One of

1:27:44

his guys, how old were you

1:27:46

at this time? I was 16,

1:27:48

15 or 16, between my junior

1:27:50

and sophomore or junior and senior

1:27:52

in high school. He said, well

1:27:54

damn it, I'm going to have

1:27:56

to go out short-handed today and

1:27:58

we're going to have to. to

1:28:00

make a trip. That means you're

1:28:02

taking all the pipe out of

1:28:04

the hole and putting all the

1:28:06

pipe back in and in the

1:28:08

hole. And it is eight hours

1:28:10

of hucking and bucking. So I

1:28:12

said, Daddy, I'll go with you.

1:28:14

He said, no, I don't want

1:28:16

you to step your foot on

1:28:18

drilling, that's why I work. So

1:28:20

I said, Daddy, I'll go with

1:28:22

you. He said, no, I don't

1:28:24

want you to ever step your

1:28:26

foot on drilling rig for you

1:28:28

to polish. He said, here are

1:28:30

the rules. If it's broke, fix

1:28:33

it. If it ain't broke, don't

1:28:35

fix it. If it's broke and

1:28:37

you can't fix it, paint the

1:28:39

son of a bitch. That's what

1:28:41

it was like at the Gatlin

1:28:43

household. We were taught that there

1:28:45

is work. There are certain things

1:28:47

that you do. There's a certain

1:28:49

code of ethic and behavior that

1:28:51

you do. Now, I had friends

1:28:53

on the other side of town,

1:28:55

the rich side of town. They

1:28:57

got everything they wanted. And this

1:28:59

is the rich folks. Okay, the

1:29:01

one percenters who were doing that

1:29:03

and for the most part They

1:29:05

turned out I know I'm painting

1:29:07

it with a broad brush and

1:29:09

it's anecdotal as they say well

1:29:11

if you can't fix it paint

1:29:13

it with a broad brush with

1:29:15

a broad brush and the same

1:29:17

thing Jesse Jayce watch said something

1:29:19

the football player for football and

1:29:21

he was a congressman from Oklahoma

1:29:23

and he said something else a

1:29:25

Jay Jay watch yeah, that's another

1:29:27

football player. He said He was

1:29:29

elected as a congressman from Oklahoma,

1:29:31

first black congressman ever from Oklahoma.

1:29:33

He said one night, after he'd

1:29:35

been in office two weeks at

1:29:37

a Republican fundraiser thing, a dinner

1:29:39

in Washington. He said, let us

1:29:41

not measure our compassion by how

1:29:43

many people we have on welfare.

1:29:45

Rather, let us measure our compassion

1:29:47

by how few. We need to

1:29:49

hear that. I'm an atheist, but

1:29:51

amen. It drives me nuts. And

1:29:53

this notion... that

1:29:56

I lack compassion because I understand

1:29:59

firsthand through my upbringing, which is

1:30:01

quite a contrast to yours. My

1:30:04

upbringing was welfare. Oh, I'm sorry.

1:30:06

I am wrong because my, my,

1:30:08

my, my, my, I grew up

1:30:11

with welfare and with food stamps

1:30:13

and with school lunch programs. I'm,

1:30:15

I'm a product of that. And

1:30:18

I saw my mom just sit

1:30:20

in this house that my grandmother

1:30:22

let her sit in because she

1:30:25

owned it. very small house and

1:30:27

just rot. Just rot because she

1:30:29

got just enough to stay alive.

1:30:32

All she packed on weight, she

1:30:34

let herself go physically, she didn't

1:30:37

put herself together, she didn't put

1:30:39

makeup on, she didn't fix her

1:30:41

hair, she literally just sat, got

1:30:44

fat, smoked pot and sort of

1:30:46

slid into this depression and sat

1:30:48

in this free house and got...

1:30:51

the check from the government which

1:30:53

was just enough to buy some

1:30:55

frozen dinners and that went on

1:30:58

for years and at a certain

1:31:00

point she every muscle she had

1:31:02

atrophied who did she vote for

1:31:05

you think i'm sure she was

1:31:07

all about carter uh... she was

1:31:10

and she didn't she she's probably

1:31:12

on the ralf nadir band wagon

1:31:14

back in the day She probably

1:31:17

cast a vote for Tom Loughlin

1:31:19

who starred in Billy Jack, even

1:31:21

though she probably wrote in Tom

1:31:24

Loughlin from Billy Jack. Like I

1:31:26

think that she was writing. You

1:31:28

guys can Google that you have

1:31:31

a laugh. Anyway, maybe she wrote

1:31:33

in LaVar Burton. I don't know.

1:31:35

But either way, she didn't write

1:31:38

in Reagan or we could pretty

1:31:40

well be. She atrophied. She atrophied.

1:31:43

And I said her one day,

1:31:45

I remember just thinking when I

1:31:47

was about nine. I don't get

1:31:50

it, we don't have anything. Your

1:31:52

car's all broken down, you're all

1:31:54

broken down, there's no food in

1:31:57

the fridge. Once you just get

1:31:59

a job. because kids don't understand,

1:32:01

they just think a job is a

1:32:04

job, you know, they do that all the

1:32:06

time. It would be a schoolteacher, you want

1:32:08

to be a doctor, you want to be

1:32:10

a lawyer, they don't realize they're paid, there's

1:32:12

a little pay difference in some of those,

1:32:14

but my, from the mouth of babes thing

1:32:16

was just get a job. If you get

1:32:18

a job, then we could have a car

1:32:20

and we could have some food and we

1:32:23

have whatever, and she just looked at

1:32:25

me and she just looked at me

1:32:27

and said, and said, to make, well

1:32:29

for mother to make to the son,

1:32:31

but I experience it firsthand. She, and the

1:32:33

thing that's comical about the whole

1:32:35

thing, getting back, circling the driveway

1:32:38

back to where we started, nobody

1:32:40

hated the government more than my

1:32:42

mom. Nobody depended on the

1:32:45

government more than my mom. So I

1:32:47

understand firsthand what it breeds.

1:32:49

It breeds contempt for the

1:32:51

person that's handing you the pittance

1:32:54

to live off of every year

1:32:56

and every month, but also... breeds

1:32:58

an inner contempt. My mom obviously

1:33:00

didn't like herself. And what was

1:33:02

looking back at her when she looked in

1:33:04

the mirror, when she got up about noon.

1:33:06

So this was, I've seen how debilitating

1:33:09

this could be. So when I say I

1:33:11

don't want people on welfare and I want

1:33:13

people to make their kids their own

1:33:15

breakfast, I'm not saying that out of

1:33:18

cruelty. I'm saying it for the person.

1:33:20

It's the same way your doctor would

1:33:22

say, I'm going to need you to

1:33:24

exercise. And you go, it hurts. I

1:33:26

don't want to do it. Well, get

1:33:29

up at six in the morning and

1:33:31

jog five miles. No way. It's cold

1:33:33

outside. Yeah, really. Why? Is this guy

1:33:35

mean? He's being mean. He doesn't like

1:33:37

his patient. No, he's patient to be

1:33:39

healthy. Well, you know, that'll do about

1:33:42

no good deed. It goes unpunished. So

1:33:44

the government. Here's the thing. When I

1:33:46

was in New York 20 years ago,

1:33:48

I played Will Rogers on Broadway. And

1:33:50

one morning I was reading Either. You

1:33:52

played the part of Will Rogers on Broadway.

1:33:54

I played the part of Will Rise. One

1:33:56

of the greatest thrills and honors of my

1:33:58

life. I was either reading... The Communist

1:34:01

Manifest, which actually is called the New

1:34:03

York Times. We call it the Communist

1:34:05

Manifesto at our house. It was either

1:34:08

that or the Wall Street Journal. One

1:34:10

of those, and I would imagine the

1:34:12

W.S.J. because of the content, a man

1:34:15

and a woman got married. This

1:34:17

was 100 years ago, whatever. They had

1:34:19

eight children. Those eight children had 70

1:34:21

between them. And while the pyramid... there

1:34:24

were over a hundred and seventy people

1:34:26

in the pyramid right from that

1:34:28

mother and father sure all the mother

1:34:30

father was still alive there were eight

1:34:33

people in that hundred and seventy

1:34:35

person pyramid that had gainful employ right

1:34:37

out of the one seventy there was

1:34:39

eight the benefits from the government were

1:34:42

over two million dollars a year in

1:34:44

food stamps whatever to this one

1:34:46

pyramid right and people say well there

1:34:48

you're a racist Well, they automatically assumed

1:34:51

they were black. They weren't. They

1:34:53

were white. Right. And who gives a

1:34:55

rosy red rat's ass what color they

1:34:57

were because they were sitting on their

1:35:00

rosy red rat's ass and letting you

1:35:02

and Larry work and buy and

1:35:04

pay for the food steps? I was

1:35:06

laughing, I'm laughing to myself because the

1:35:09

most racist thing you can say is

1:35:11

saying, you go, look, 170 people, eight

1:35:13

of them. gainfully employed i want

1:35:15