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Classics And if you'd like to request a

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Coral Classics episode, please email us classics at

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adamcoral .com. Now on to the clips. Go to first day we

0:44

have Adam Curla Show 57. This one's from 2009 2009, featuring

0:46

Teresa and Brian Bishop. is the weekly is the weekly of

0:48

of the morning show format just just

0:50

departed from several months prior. Adam Adam had

0:52

promised to get the band back together

0:54

and doing his best to get best at

0:56

least once per week least a week for a

0:59

show show that's what this is. this is. Got

1:05

to get it on

1:07

a very special podcast for you

1:09

today. Teresa very pregnant, is

1:11

back. Ball Brian back. very

1:14

Bryan has some very

1:16

sobering news. Teresa We're gonna discuss it.

1:18

it, but I and I are aware of

1:20

it, but I will let into put it

1:22

into his own words. What's going on? Brian?

1:25

nothing so about uh... about two

1:27

and a half weeks ago i half

1:29

weeks ago i was tumor and

1:31

with a brain tumor as

1:34

these came out of nowhere i i these

1:36

things do. I was having symptoms

1:38

for a few months having symptoms. symptoms

1:41

and uh... I I was having like a, it it

1:43

would start, it would start at gym, know, stuff

1:45

that's sort of easily explained away, like I would

1:47

get away, like I would get dizzy or I would get, I

1:49

would stumble or would lose my balance I was

1:51

doing I was doing and things, it would come and

1:53

would come and go and out of the

1:55

get out of the sauna at

1:57

the gym feel a a little dizzy and woozy

1:59

and eventually you know, sometimes during the show,

2:01

sometime around January or February, my lips go a little

2:03

numb, my tongue go a little numb, I started to

2:06

slur my words, I noticed myself slurring my words more

2:08

than I normally would. Did you hear it, Adam? I

2:10

didn't hear it. I didn't hear anything, all I know

2:12

is I won totally topical people trivia. Right around that

2:14

time. Right around that time. For the first time in

2:16

a year, and I thought, there must be something like

2:18

a foot. Let's just say there's an asterisk next to

2:20

that victory, right about in town, because right and how

2:22

to break it. All your victories are tainted. So you

2:24

noticed your tongue was numb, but you could explain that

2:26

way. And it would be here and there. and uh...

2:28

eventually the symptoms of the course of a couple months

2:30

would get more noticeable and they would just be at

2:32

the gym or they would just be at work they'd

2:34

be after my nap in the afternoon and i'd and

2:36

and really the disorientation of dizziness you know when i

2:38

would move my head around you know i would the

2:40

room would spin a little bit and i i i

2:42

I kind of ignored, not ignored it, but these are

2:45

things you can easily explain away. I'm tired, I've been

2:47

doing whatever, I wake up before 30 in the morning,

2:49

dehydrated, dehydrated, all these things. And eventually I started to

2:51

look up some of the symptoms online and they all

2:53

matched up with, at the time, when I thought it

2:55

was like multiple sclerosis. These are perfect and S symptoms.

2:57

You get dizzy, you get to lose the sensation or

2:59

certain sort of your face. My left side get a

3:01

little clumsy. It was getting worse. It was getting worse.

3:03

That was probably the first symptom was was was losing

3:05

stumbling and like being off balance a little bit which

3:07

is weird but and I was always like oh I'm

3:09

just I'm just working out too hard at the gym

3:11

not that I was a workout warrior but I was

3:13

like you know going to the gym every day and

3:15

thinking I'm just tired I should take a nap before

3:17

the gym or eat better or whatever I was doing

3:19

and uh... around about three weeks ago three or four

3:22

weeks ago i decided to an appointment

3:24

with a neurologist through a

3:26

family friend who got me

3:28

an appointment with a neurologist,

3:30

a guy who specializes in

3:32

Parkinson's disease, but he happened

3:34

to know the brain really

3:36

well and sent me in

3:38

for an MRI and did

3:40

the whole test and that

3:42

was working under an assumption,

3:44

multiple sclerosis. He said to

3:46

me, I'm 99 % sure you

3:48

have MS. So you diagnosed

3:50

yourself just googling the symptoms

3:52

and the doctor said that

3:54

was congruent with MS. The

3:56

most likely diagnosis were MS,

3:58

a stroke, because all these

4:01

things are sort of the

4:03

same part of the brain.

4:05

You really, you can't just

4:07

be, you know, I don't

4:09

know, have a bad month.

4:11

You know what I mean?

4:13

I mean, you know, that

4:15

sort of feeling where it's

4:17

like, I don't know, you're

4:19

tired or you're a little

4:21

disoriented or you can't string

4:23

together a sentence like he

4:25

really that quickly thought we

4:27

have early onset of MS.

4:29

Yes, by that point, I've

4:31

been gone for about four

4:33

months. And early on, it

4:35

was like, Oh, I'm just

4:37

kind of losing it. You

4:40

know what I mean? Just

4:42

to have just weird things

4:44

then they go away. And

4:46

they did go away and

4:48

they came and went and

4:50

and they were mild. They

4:52

were mild and noticeable, but

4:54

then they got more noticeable

4:56

and and drinking, we'll get

4:58

into later, drinking is a

5:00

huge exacerbator for this. Like

5:02

one beer sometimes can feel

5:04

like three, you know, five

5:06

beers affects your motor skills.

5:08

Yeah, it definitely does. And

5:10

I would go out with

5:12

friends like I normally do

5:14

and go out drinking and

5:16

just have a few beers

5:19

and I'd be wasted. know,

5:21

I'd have like three or

5:23

four beers and I'd be

5:25

like, I had a 12

5:27

pack. And one

5:29

night I was over a couple of friends

5:31

house and I was just drinking at

5:33

their house, we were drinking some some some

5:35

beers. And I got up to like

5:37

go to the bathroom and I just fell

5:39

over just like stubbled over. And they're

5:41

like, we've all the same amount of beers

5:44

that you've had. Why are you so

5:46

drunk? Chris Farley. Yes. On the coffee. I

5:48

had visions of going through never went

5:50

through a cocktail, but I got up and

5:52

fell away from the but but yeah,

5:54

it was, it. was a that was when

5:56

it took drinking to realize that wow,

5:58

there's something really wrong here. I gotta see

6:00

a doctor. So you went in and

6:02

they give you a PET scan. A cat scan,

6:05

First thing it is, give me an MRI

6:07

it is, give me MRI. for the brain brain. And got the

6:09

the MRI and that done that done the the

6:11

doctor back thinking, me back thing to diagnose. You MS

6:13

is not to get like spinal thing to diagnose. look

6:15

You to get lesions on fluid this for lesions

6:17

on the brain, but this would have been

6:19

a very clear indicator if I had

6:21

lesions in the brain. So they took the scan,

6:23

they took the MRI, I went in, did

6:25

the thing. the thing. He called me and

6:27

he said, he's like, like, you you don't have MS,

6:29

but I need to see you in

6:31

my office my That's never good morning. in my office

6:33

because I can't tell you on the phone

6:36

ever I was like, all right, what's going

6:38

on here? I can't tell you at night and you had to

6:40

sleep on it. like, well, guess it's

6:42

in the afternoon or the, on here? So,

6:44

uh... This in a way, in a

6:46

way I'm still glad on not I guess this

6:48

is in is, know, it, it or the...

6:50

you. yeah, whatever. Yes, he does. he does. It depends

6:52

on the type. the type. four different types. different types,

6:54

and it had been that. It would have been something

6:56

that I would have lived with and gotten

6:59

worse over the course of my life with and

7:01

gotten worse over the course of my essentially, you just have

7:03

terrible shooting pain. of life. periods, you just have

7:05

terrible shooting know, things I've been around.

7:07

So when he says, I want

7:09

to see you in my office.

7:11

I've been pushing to go, he says, I want

7:13

tell me you in my office, just tell me

7:15

now. Yeah. I don't really. remember yes

7:17

I think yes, I think my was like well

7:19

we'll find out what's going on me now, nothing

7:21

it know I don't know well, we'll find out what's

7:23

tell you over the phone. You have

7:26

nothing nothing, a know, I don't know. you'll

7:28

get a bill. is, I'll tell the over bucks

7:30

we're charging for finding nothing. you So I

7:32

met him, a and this Yeah, you'll get a bill.

7:34

in Santa Monica, so I met him.

7:37

get a bill. So, Here's the $1, so.

7:39

Yeah, you'll get a the entire $4. So, you

7:41

will get bill. So, $4. all $4. and what's going

7:43

on $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, was $4, $4,

7:45

$4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, $4, he's

7:47

so this this is this is a is time long time

7:49

ago know he's a long time long

7:51

time ago, you weeks it's a long time

7:53

long time like a It feels

7:56

like a lifetime. weeks ago he he weeks

7:58

ago, me he the he showed me the he showed the

8:00

MRI images on like a piece of

8:02

paper you know what I mean like

8:04

sort of like drew it out for

8:07

me is like yeah I've seen the

8:09

MRI here's what it looks like you

8:11

have a you have a low-grade glioma

8:13

and I said I don't I don't

8:16

know what that is you have a

8:18

brain tumor you have a low-grade glomer

8:20

in your brain and and and at

8:22

that point to his credit he sort

8:25

of washed his hands of the affair

8:27

because he's like this is not I'm

8:29

not an expert in this I've been

8:31

referred to this other doctor I'm a

8:34

urologist I can't help you essentially he's

8:36

like I deal with Parkinson's like I

8:38

know what this is but I can't

8:40

really tell you much like he's like

8:43

you're young people you probably want to

8:45

go home and Google this I advise

8:47

you not to only because This is

8:49

a very sort of blanket thing. There's

8:52

high grade and there's low grade. And

8:54

the high grade is bad. Full grade

8:56

is bad times, but the high grade

8:58

is bad bad times. And a lot

9:01

of the data and stuff on the

9:03

internet is very, very general from across

9:05

the country, across the world. I'm going

9:07

to, I'm eventually, eventually the story will

9:10

lead me to Cedar Sinai where I'm

9:12

getting treated now. And that's world-class institution.

9:14

World class doctors. And I feel so

9:16

confident in my treatment. But at the

9:19

time, it was like. statistics are our

9:21

heroin. Right, these are statistics just from

9:23

cedars or city of hope. These are

9:25

from everywhere. Yeah, and I mitigate my

9:28

own chances, my own factors being, you

9:30

know, I'm a 30 year old guy,

9:32

I'm in good shape, I'm strong, I

9:34

live literally eight minutes away from cedar

9:37

sign, I mean, you know, I couldn't

9:39

have ended up in a better place

9:41

in my life for this kind of

9:43

thing. What did he tell you when

9:46

he told you this? Sure, sure. Did

9:48

he give you any comments or numbers

9:50

or anything? So, the first doctor, the

9:52

MRI, you've got the low-grade glioma, you

9:55

see this other doctor. He's at the

9:57

Angeles Clinic, and the Angeles Clinic, essentially

9:59

the cancer ward, the cancer arm of

10:01

St. John's. John's, so I met with

10:04

this doctor at St. John's and he,

10:06

you know, with doctors, it's so weird,

10:08

like his, his, his. It was all

10:10

wrong at first, like the whole mannerism,

10:13

the first, I was supposed to be

10:15

in the next, I supposed to meet

10:17

with this doctor the next day, you

10:19

know, make an appointment, this is a

10:22

Thursday, supposed to be on Friday, got

10:24

home Thursday afternoon, Christie and I are

10:26

sitting there, she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah,

10:28

and then we're like, call a doctor,

10:31

she can get in sooner, we gotta

10:33

talk to this, we gotta start, we

10:35

gotta put the wheels in motion, so,

10:37

call them up, call them up and

10:40

said, hey, can you take, can you

10:42

take me. The same day as diagnosis

10:44

showed up at the Angeles Clinic and

10:46

got a really surreal meeting with the

10:49

doctor. His bedside manner was It

10:51

was empathetic, but it was like, this is what

10:53

empathetic should be. You know what I mean? Like

10:55

how he read it off a list. He cannot

10:58

see and put his hand on. He was like,

11:00

I am so sorry for all this. I am

11:02

so sorry this is happening to you. And once

11:04

it's stimulating how it should be like make eye

11:06

contact with patients. Yeah, but it's like when I

11:09

hug one of my family members. Pat twice on

11:11

back look into eyes Yeah, thumb thumb thumb went

11:13

to Christine's like I'm sorry. It's just not fair.

11:15

It's just not fair. This happens express sympathy with

11:17

yeah, and it's like Doc we want to know

11:20

what we're going to do about this. You know

11:22

what I mean? We want we want to plan

11:24

like we're you know me I'm I'm a I'm

11:26

a I'm a pollution oriented guy so you know

11:28

the here's where the low point hit was when

11:31

we were talking to the doctor and he were

11:33

talking to look at the MRI and And,

11:35

you know, I pressed him on an answer.

11:38

I said, duck, how great should I be?

11:40

What is what is what is what is

11:42

going on here? It's serious stuff. Like, all

11:44

I know is I don't even know what

11:46

LaGrag-Leome is. And he's telling you show me

11:49

pictures and saying I looked at your MRIs.

11:51

Like, typically in these cases, he says, typically

11:53

in these cases, I say sick almost to

11:55

a year. And I say, wow, that is

11:58

really heavy stuff. not a good situation. Does

12:00

she have to leave the room? Does she

12:02

have to be sedated? No, she's there. She's,

12:04

you know. The people, I make it somewhat

12:06

bad. The people at the International Clinic are

12:09

all really good people. They're all really, I

12:11

mean, they were very attentive. Six to 12

12:13

months to live is his worst case scenario.

12:15

The implication was pretty clear. They didn't put

12:17

in those terms, but he was like, typically

12:20

in those cases, in these cases, in. And

12:22

keep in mind, I don't think he'd glanced

12:24

at my stuff. I don't think he'd really

12:26

studied my MRI. I mean, if only, he

12:28

only knew I was coming in for about

12:31

an hour, you know what I'm saying, so

12:33

I don't, I don't know how well versed

12:35

he was, hopefully, on my situation. This

12:38

is where things get a little better.

12:40

So... Hard to get worse. I'm thinking

12:42

if that's a low grade. What does

12:44

a high grade give you? He pulls

12:46

a gun out. So it's your 6

12:48

to 12 seconds. By the time you

12:50

get back to the parking garage. In

12:52

fact, I don't need to validate your

12:54

ticket. You won't make it out of

12:56

here. Yeah, exactly. You don't have that

12:58

for you? I guess not. So wait,

13:00

before we go on. Where is this

13:02

glioma in your brain stem? Hence why

13:04

they cannot even biopsy it. Because that

13:06

controls. Yeah, the value, the real estate

13:08

is too valuable there. They can't go

13:10

in. So it's inoperable. But oftentimes that

13:12

means they do it because it's too

13:14

late. Right. This case, it means it's

13:16

in too sensitive an area. Exactly. The

13:18

controls respiration and cardiac function. Yeah. Inoperable

13:20

ranching or sounds terrible. What it does,

13:23

it does not imply that there's no

13:25

treatment. There's no, there's no action here.

13:27

What implies, what it means is too

13:29

dangerous to go in there. Can't, can't

13:31

go in the rainstone. So he tells

13:33

you. It's not, it's not, it's not,

13:35

I don't believe it's been attempted and

13:37

doctors won't do it. They won't. Right.

13:39

Maybe in some radical country or somewhere

13:41

somewhere it's been tried but doctors don't

13:43

don't do that. So now you've heard

13:45

six to 12 months to live right

13:47

possibly this is all married in a

13:49

month married all happened over the course

13:51

of a day and a half pretty

13:53

much. And by the way we should

13:55

say that when you the day you

13:57

got your MRI I believe the last

13:59

day we all got together. I think

14:01

it was. I think it was. At

14:03

that point, I was ready to talk

14:05

to the doctor in a few days

14:07

and be told that MS. You

14:10

called me two days later, I

14:12

think we did our thing on

14:14

a Tuesday, I think you called

14:16

me on a Thursday. I called,

14:18

yeah, I called because I was

14:20

supposed to start work on Monday

14:22

or whatever it was. You're supposed

14:24

to start on my TV pilot

14:26

on Monday, on Monday, or whatever

14:28

it was. You're supposed to start

14:30

on my TV pilot on Monday,

14:32

you called on Monday, on Monday,

14:35

you called me Thursday evening, you

14:37

were sitting here doing this podcast

14:39

thinking, there's a good chance I

14:41

have MS. I was convinced. You

14:43

were convinced. But lucky you. Yeah,

14:45

but for any tumor. Look at

14:47

that. I, uh, you know, I

14:49

had a funny, not so funny

14:51

situation. The following day. So. This

14:53

is going to be a one

14:55

upper. Listen, his tumor is already

14:57

upstage my fetus. That's right. But

15:00

you know when you're walking by

15:02

the bed frame and your big

15:04

toe catches it just so? Oh

15:06

man! Now there's no blood, but

15:08

there's a searing pain that I

15:10

believe could be matched by... No,

15:12

I had this horrible scene where

15:14

our... producer on the on our

15:16

television show or line producer is

15:18

uh... her name is dion and

15:20

her father her grandfather is danny

15:23

thomas later on i'll tell you

15:25

about the coffee table story as

15:27

in marlow thomas dad yes and

15:29

i'll tell you about a very

15:31

surreal thing that happened i can't

15:33

remember if i told it on

15:35

this or love line or whatever

15:37

but anyway the point is this

15:40

Um, you told me Thursday

15:43

night. Right. What you told

15:45

me Thursday night is, you

15:47

know, I have an inoperable

15:50

brain tumor and worst case

15:52

scenario is six to 12

15:54

months. I was devastated. I

15:57

went, uh, I went into

15:59

her. so her so her

16:02

her her her grandfather Danny

16:04

Thomas has started City of

16:06

Hope and does all this

16:09

work with cancer St. Jude's

16:11

oh sorry not City of

16:13

Hope Oh, check

16:16

it out, would you please? You

16:18

got it. It's in front of...

16:20

All right, anyway, St. Jude's, and,

16:22

so she's pretty well versed in

16:25

this topic, and she's one of

16:27

the most compassionate, caring, sweet people

16:29

on the planet. I show up

16:32

Monday morning and I'm I'm I'm

16:34

I was I was devastated by

16:36

this news, but I was I

16:38

was I was attempting to keep

16:41

a poker face on in front

16:43

of her because we're going to

16:45

do our first table read like

16:48

that day or the next day

16:50

or something and there's lots of

16:52

it's supposed to be comedy mixed

16:55

with hope mixed with everyone's nervous

16:57

and so I walk into her

16:59

office because I have to tell

17:01

her you're not going to be

17:04

starting on Monday. And as luck

17:06

would have it, the 300 pound

17:08

Teamster transportation guy is in there

17:11

looking at cars that is going

17:13

to be my driving car, my

17:15

driving instructor car in the show.

17:17

So I come walking in and

17:20

she's such a sweet soul and

17:22

she's five foot tall and I

17:24

say, Dion, Brian Bishop will not

17:27

be starting on Monday because he

17:29

has a medical condition. And

17:32

she says, well, what is it? And

17:34

I say, he has a tumor. And

17:36

I break down into a heat. And

17:38

she breaks down into a heat. And

17:40

the tears are, the tears are pouring.

17:43

We're like hugging. I'm pouring. I'm falling.

17:45

I'm sobbing my eyes up. The last

17:47

time I talked to him Thursday night.

17:49

He said, like, I had six to

17:52

12 months to live. You know, he's

17:54

29. He's getting married in two months.

17:56

the teams are guys going we found

17:58

a blue Saturn but we don't have

18:01

a white Saturn but we don't have

18:03

to sign and I'm like I'm sorry

18:05

I'm sorry and the guy's standing in

18:07

there we're both we're both just a

18:10

pile of tears I'm tearing up now

18:12

just talking about so we're just a

18:14

pile of tears in there so we're

18:16

just a pile of tears in there

18:19

Yes it is. Thank you. Look at

18:21

the weeds. So, uh, so she's doing

18:23

this whole thing. I'm just, I'm just,

18:25

I don't know, maybe I've, I'm under

18:28

a lot of stress. I'm crying eyes

18:30

out, the Teamster guy, it's like, you

18:32

want me to leave? I was like,

18:34

I'm sorry, you can stay, you don't

18:37

have to leave. He's showing me pictures

18:39

on the internet of cars that he's

18:41

going to. pile of tears and the

18:43

poor teamster guys to stand in between

18:45

us and uh... try to sue us

18:48

well that's all right i was you

18:50

know i i i i i think

18:52

you should think about Adams feelings when

18:54

he's doing a pilot i know it's

18:57

right i really needed i needed a

18:59

focus yeah i really need to focus

19:01

on that by the way you guys

19:03

go back now i mean since you're

19:06

30 right right and you guys meant

19:08

when you were uh... i was 2002

19:10

so yeah 2002 is when we met.

19:12

That's when you started a phone phone

19:15

phone screen. Phone screen and over a

19:17

level. Back when Brian was fat. One

19:19

of the good ones. I know. So

19:21

now we fast forward to now. Now

19:24

this sounds grave. Well, this is perfect

19:26

because Diyallen figures into my story. This

19:28

is this actually coincides verbally. So, you

19:30

know, I don't know, I don't know,

19:33

it's a cliche to you, so I

19:35

don't use a cliche. Sometimes all signs

19:37

point to one thing, you know what

19:39

I'm saying? And the name, Dr. Keith

19:42

Black kept coming up. Dr. Keith Black

19:44

is a, people say world-renowned, but he's

19:46

a brain surgeon. wrote a book called

19:48

like Brain Search or something that he's

19:51

been featured in Time magazine and he

19:53

works at Cedars. And my fiancé's mom

19:55

knows a woman very well who she

19:57

called her, she called her to say,

19:59

what should we do? You were plugged

20:02

in over at Cedars, which we talked

20:04

to him. She goes, Dr. Keith Black.

20:06

And Adam called me and said, listen,

20:08

I got a name for you. Deion

20:11

came up with it, someone over at

20:13

Cedars, named Dr. Keith Black. And a

20:15

family friend from the Bay Area does

20:17

pharmaceutical sales to Dr. Block. He's like,

20:20

Dr. Block is the guy you have

20:22

to see. If you have a rain

20:24

tumor, see Dr. Black. Christie and I,

20:26

Christie took me to get a pedicure

20:29

to get my, like just to clear

20:31

my head on Friday after we found

20:33

out. And I was sitting in a

20:35

nail salon. My first time in my

20:38

life, I sat in a nail salon

20:40

and some random old woman getting her

20:42

nails done next to me and said,

20:44

hi, hi, what's going on, what's all

20:47

about it. Oh yeah, we're doing her,

20:49

I know. She didn't know this one.

20:51

A random woman. And the woman said,

20:53

and then we had a brain tumor

20:56

and the woman said, oh, you've got

20:58

to see this Dr. Keith Black. He

21:00

was like, when the random nail appointment

21:02

lady is pointing in this direction, it

21:05

only takes so many signs. And Dr.

21:07

Bruce, I talked to Dr. Bruce, his

21:09

sister, had the same thing that I

21:11

did, very similar thing. And he's like,

21:13

there's a doctor out there that you

21:16

may have heard of, and they have

21:18

heard of a Dr. I talked to

21:20

Dr. Bruce, A.K. Dr. Spaz, the second

21:22

I talked to Dr. Second I talked

21:25

to Brian, I called Drew and Dr.

21:27

Bruce. And Bruce, I have to say

21:29

all the time, is actually smarter in

21:31

a better doctor than Dr. Drew is.

21:34

It's just he comes in a nerdy

21:36

package. And it did. What did you

21:38

say? I think it was good lenses,

21:40

bad frames? That's

21:43

good. I should write some of the

21:46

shit down. Yeah, that's what Bruce is

21:48

and it's actually kind of a good

21:50

cliche for or metaphor for almost everyone

21:52

which is his lenses are great like

21:55

he sees with crystal clarity. It's just

21:57

when you see the frames. don't take

21:59

him seriously? And that's kind of how

22:01

Bruce is. Dr. Bruce is a super

22:04

sharp, super smart, overachieving guy. He's just

22:06

kind of a fuck up and he

22:08

screws up a lot like he's really

22:11

like kind of an absent-minded professor. But

22:13

when you really sit down and talk

22:15

to him about this stuff, which I

22:17

did about your tumor, he's really very

22:20

knowledgeable and as it turns out his

22:22

sister went through the same ordeal. He

22:24

was really really really helpful and just

22:26

has someone to talk to someone, a

22:29

doctor and a doctor or someone who

22:31

I know and I'm kind of at

22:33

least associates or friends of them so

22:35

it's nice to have someone to talk

22:38

to and... My sister seems to be

22:40

doing all right. Yeah, yeah, is still

22:42

around. It's the best thing you hope

22:44

for. Yeah, he said that this happens

22:47

early in life and that you just

22:49

don't notice it and they grow in

22:51

such a slow rate. They think that

22:54

I've had this for years. That's what

22:56

they think. Yeah. Okay. So now... Sorry.

22:58

So Dr. Keith Black. I don't want

23:00

to overstate the fact that he's really

23:03

well known and all the signs are

23:05

pointing to him, but he... I actually

23:07

got him to see him on a

23:09

Monday morning which was small miracle because

23:12

he's a very... He literally wrote the

23:14

black man. Wow, Dr. Keith Black, the

23:16

neurosurgeon, the brain surgeon, and I've had

23:18

a very... Oh, if he knew his

23:21

dad, he would be so proud of

23:23

him. Yeah, sorry. Had about a 12-minute

23:25

meeting of Dr. Black. At a certain

23:27

point, he looked at the images, looked

23:30

at my charts. They're doing it a

23:32

long time. Look at me, yeah, it's

23:34

academic for him. It's like... I'm a

23:37

surgeon, you can't have surgery, I'm going

23:39

to pass you along. But the good

23:41

news about him is he's got, he's

23:43

on the team, he's got the team

23:46

of people beneath him and around him,

23:48

and that's what I got, that's when,

23:50

you know, had a good meeting with

23:52

him, he's like, listen, we've seen, we've

23:55

seen worse than this, this is not

23:57

the worst we've seen, and there's treatment

23:59

for this, there's chemotherapy and radiation. tributaries

24:01

narrowed into that mouth of that river

24:04

getting in there and this this is

24:06

where I began this is where I

24:08

began where I find myself at cedars

24:10

because I the next day he sent

24:13

me off to see Dr. Rudnick and

24:15

Dr. Rudnick is is a specialist in

24:17

this and very knowledgeable and he's one

24:20

he's prescribing all the treatment and my

24:22

first follow-up point with him this is

24:24

a week ago a week and a

24:26

half ago and met with Dr. Rudnick

24:29

And with him as a doctor, Mirhati,

24:31

and these guys are all, Mirhati does

24:33

my actual radiation. What I learned is

24:35

avoid white doctors. That's right. They're golfers,

24:38

but they're not. Yeah, I don't want

24:40

them touching me or radiating me. So

24:42

you have radiation in chemo. Yeah. That

24:44

is the treatment. Have you begun? I

24:47

have begun. I began radiation. a week

24:49

ago today. Today begins day, week number

24:51

two of radiation and the chemo started

24:53

the night before, some last Monday. And

24:56

the chemo is... And the chemo is

24:58

orally administered. It's called Temidar. And it's

25:00

not like, it's not like in the

25:03

movies at all. You know, we hear

25:05

chemotherapy and you just think, you know,

25:07

crawling up the stairs or lying in

25:09

bed for already. Yeah, vomiting. And it's

25:12

not been like that knock on wood.

25:14

I have no... physical repercussions to report.

25:16

I look great, hopefully I look great,

25:18

and I feel good, and if anything,

25:21

it's the psychological working yourself up for

25:23

like, you know, taking pills and radiation

25:25

and stuff. But I feel good, and

25:27

the pills are administered orally, I take

25:30

them at night, I take them after

25:32

I eat on my own with water,

25:34

and they'll go with daily regiment of

25:36

pills, you know, supplement the stuff, just

25:39

to get my body already. Now what

25:41

size is this tumor, do you know?

25:43

What size is this tumor? They're

25:46

using ancient three quarters. Yeah. But

25:48

they gave it to you in

25:51

centimeters, millimeters, right? I say four

25:53

centimeters. So it's at 10 millimeters

25:55

per centimeter per centimeter? So it's

25:57

like. little less than half an

26:00

inch so for there's there's like

26:02

25.4 millimeters in an inch so

26:04

there'd be like 12 and a

26:07

half or something and a 10

26:09

would be so yeah wow so

26:11

it's there right there I mean

26:13

it's right there in the brain

26:16

stem on the pawns the P-O-N-S

26:18

that's the the the the root

26:20

you know I'm saying of the

26:22

brain and it's on one side

26:25

and I don't,

26:27

I've got so many, I got so

26:29

many terminologies and numbers and things and

26:31

people ask me, you know, what stage

26:34

is it? And it's not really, they

26:36

don't really stage it, I guess, because

26:38

they can't biopsy it, they don't know

26:41

if it's benign or malignant. It's not

26:43

important, right? Because the problem is that

26:45

it could compress important areas in the

26:48

entire medical community is on the metric

26:50

system. like you know they're getting you

26:52

C C C and this and they're

26:55

doing you know they always talk about

26:57

oh she's dilated two centimeters or whatever

26:59

I mean they're all I mean they

27:01

just say to you oh you have

27:04

your tumors four centimeters and that could

27:06

mean 300 yards or that could mean

27:08

the size of a lady bug like

27:11

you have no I used to work

27:13

installing custom closets and I worked in

27:15

a euro cabinet shop so I can

27:18

do some of the math but really

27:20

unless you're a drug dealer you know

27:22

drug dealers and doctors yeah i mean

27:25

for doctors just considering considering once the

27:27

medical community just goes over to the

27:29

metric system shouldn't we all just follow

27:32

suit yes we all that sit here

27:34

and try to figure out if it's

27:36

an ancient seven eights or five inches

27:39

or whatever the hell it is but

27:41

yeah that that sounds like about that

27:43

size so so now you're undergoing this

27:46

treatment right it's been almost a week

27:48

right today marks five more I think

27:50

the treatment is, so here's how it

27:52

works, so six weeks of radiation. days

27:55

a week in Monday Friday and I

27:57

schedule that for the same time every

27:59

day. I go on 11 a.m. and

28:02

I do. That doesn't feel like anything.

28:04

It feels like nothing. In fact, I

28:06

have, again, knock on wood, I have

28:09

it remarkably easy because it's on my

28:11

head for a couple reasons. Number one,

28:13

the brain and that part of the

28:16

body is very resilient towards radiation. If

28:18

it was your pancreast or your liver

28:20

or your lung or your lung, you'd

28:23

feel it. You'd have a greater physical

28:25

physical toll. I have no physical sensations

28:27

whatsoever. Do you have any symptoms now

28:30

still that you had before? Yes. Yes.

28:32

Some of them are lessening and they

28:34

actually attribute that to the steroids they

28:37

got me on because it reduces the

28:39

swelling in my brain. So they're lessening,

28:41

they're softening a little bit, but the

28:43

worst really was right before the diagnosis.

28:46

I don't know if it was psychological,

28:48

if it was just reaching its peak,

28:50

but I was like dragging my leg

28:53

and stuff. Like I was having like...

28:55

physical situations so so radiation which has

28:57

not had any adverse effect on you

29:00

no in the chemo which you're taking

29:02

by pill each evening have not woken

29:04

up ill the following no I've slept

29:07

right through the night again if anything

29:09

it's been a it's been a Working

29:12

myself up psychologically about it. You know what I

29:14

mean? Like sort of stressing myself out, but that's

29:16

getting even that's getting better It's I think an

29:19

anti-nazzy a pill half an hour before I'm just

29:21

going to ask you so you haven't picked up

29:23

the weed or anything? No, I haven't haven't done

29:25

the weed yet We just score from Cohen where

29:28

you normally get your weed I will. Yeah, but

29:30

that's not the medical grade. That's true. Oh, yes

29:32

it is. There's also funny, there's another funny scene

29:34

involving the TV show, which is my agent James

29:37

Baby Doll Dixon, who's just sort of, he's just

29:39

one of these guys who's famous for sort of

29:41

walking into places at the wrong time. It's kind

29:43

of weird. Yeah, like it'll be one of these

29:46

things where we're casting the kid and who's gonna

29:48

play my kid and we'll tell him be a

29:50

bungalow 19. he'll say, we'll tell him, we're doing

29:52

this, and I'll go, baby, I want to be

29:55

there, and you'll go, ah, you don't really need

29:57

to, you know, you don't need to show up,

29:59

and he'll go, no, baby, I want to be

30:01

there, and you go, that's no big deal, we're

30:03

just looking at a kid, you know, and I

30:06

go, now I'm going to be there, and you

30:08

know, now I'm going to be there, we're just

30:10

looking at a kid, we're just looking at a

30:12

kid, we're just looking at a kid, we're just

30:15

looking at a little, I'm looking, I'm going, I'm

30:17

going to, I'm going to, I want to a,

30:19

I want to a, I want to a, I

30:21

want to a, I want to a, I going

30:24

to a, I want to a, I going to

30:26

a, I going to a, I going to a,

30:28

I going to a, I going to a, and

30:30

cursing in front of the tail. He's just, he's

30:33

just a knack for sort of showing up late

30:35

and interrupting things and after the taping of my

30:37

pilot. He's in New York.

30:39

After the taping of my pilot, we

30:41

found some time in my dressing room

30:44

for Brian and Christie, because I hadn't

30:46

really seen you since he told me

30:48

about the news. I saw you up

30:50

in the bleachers, which was nice. But

30:52

then we decided, you know, set a

30:55

few moments aside to get caught up

30:57

on how the treatment was going. And

30:59

then... So Brian got about four syllables

31:01

into how his treatment was going and

31:04

then baby doll Dixon comes in smoking

31:06

a cigarette, which is ironic. And then

31:08

he walks in and he's smoking and

31:10

he's sort of standing there inside my

31:12

small dressing room and he notices he's

31:15

smoking inside my dressing room and he

31:17

says, should I toss this? Ah, what

31:19

the fuck, you're not coming back here?

31:21

Shh. Close that up in a fine

31:24

space. Life is short. It goes on

31:26

and off, takes a kiss. Yeah, it

31:28

was just one of those another perfect

31:30

baby doll Dixon timing moments. But so

31:33

then he showed up and we didn't

31:35

really get to the bottom of how

31:37

everything was going. And it's going great.

31:39

So yeah, you're catching it right back.

31:41

So the radiation is remarkably underwhelming. I

31:44

go in there. I don't have to

31:46

get like, some people, you know, have

31:48

to get radiated on their breasts or

31:50

their pancreas or whatever. They got to,

31:53

you know, change under the gowns. You

31:55

get tattooed? Yes. They change to a

31:57

gown or they get... to change for

31:59

this whole hour thing. I go, I'm

32:01

my ready agent, it takes like 16

32:04

years. Some of them lose their hair.

32:06

What is the... Every single doctor mentioned

32:08

that. What is more range than the

32:10

word... Gown. You know, there's evening gown

32:13

and hospital gown. You know, I mean,

32:15

it could be the greatest thing in

32:17

the world, the most expensive thing in

32:19

the world and the best day of

32:21

your life. Or could be the hospital

32:24

gowns for me. So I just go

32:26

in as I'm dressed, as I lie

32:28

down, and so here's how it works,

32:30

right? So imagine a very pliable tennis

32:33

racket. And I'll post pictures of this

32:35

on hybrid. And people can see it.

32:37

Imagine a very pliable tennis racket, a

32:39

very soft one. They make a mask

32:42

for my face to restrain my head,

32:44

to lock it into place. And they

32:46

stretch it over my face, and they

32:48

wear the table in. into the machine

32:50

and the machine exactly with green lights

32:53

for about six or eight minutes. How

32:55

did, I mean, obviously your head is

32:57

locked in, they have a spot where

32:59

they know the tumor is. Right. And

33:02

do they physically mark your head? They

33:04

physically mark the actual mask because the

33:06

mask is, you know, it's white plastic.

33:08

over the back earhead yeah over the

33:10

front like i'm laying on my i'm

33:13

laying on my back but i mean

33:15

do they know where that beam is

33:17

hitting the back earhead yes yes yes

33:19

they do i talk to the doctor

33:22

today about that because i have the

33:24

doctor has a weekly meeting with his

33:26

patients so i put them today and

33:28

he's like the radiation is going great

33:30

we're hitting the target we're doing exactly

33:33

what we want to do they they

33:35

use x-rays once a week just to

33:37

make sure they line it up ahead

33:39

of time obviously with the mask via

33:42

how do they know it's going great

33:44

or how do they know it's doing

33:46

what they want to do i take

33:48

his word for it i mean i

33:50

don't i i guess the doctor no

33:53

i mean i don't think he's lying

33:55

but what i mean is is how

33:57

do they quantify that they won't know

33:59

results they won't actually know a grade

34:02

they won't have results for six months

34:04

to a year because the radiation will

34:06

actually scramble the images on an MRI

34:08

you know what I'm saying because the

34:11

thing is irradiated right exactly when you

34:13

can't be read so yes exactly so

34:15

part of the part of what I

34:17

love about these doctors is just there

34:19

is their expertise their confidence but is

34:22

You can't put a price on hope,

34:24

you know what I'm saying? You can't,

34:26

you can't, you can't, you can't discount

34:29

any of that. And when, and when,

34:31

when we met with the doctors, we

34:33

told them what the original doctor said

34:35

about six months to a year, and

34:37

the doctor kind of took a pause

34:39

and made a face, he's like, I

34:41

would take that with a huge grain

34:43

of salt. So that's not the current

34:46

prognosis. No, they're talking in terms of

34:48

years, in terms of progress, seeing where

34:50

it is, seeing how this goes after

34:52

six months and getting our first results

34:54

back and seeing how it shrunk. The

34:56

goal here is to shrink or keep

34:58

the tumor the same size. Obviously, the

35:00

goal is to shrink or keep the

35:02

tumor the same size. Obviously, the goal

35:05

is to shrink and eradicate it. And

35:07

the doctor said today, we're going to

35:09

pulferize this thing. That's the idea. We

35:11

go in there and we radiate it

35:13

and blah. We radiated. We radiate it.

35:15

We radiate it. We radiate it. We

35:17

radiate it. We radiate it. We radiate

35:19

it. It was at a really good

35:22

meeting today of the doctor. Just, you

35:24

know, you cling or you glom on

35:26

to, you don't realize how vulnerable you

35:28

are floating in the breeze out there.

35:30

When these good bits of information come

35:32

by, good stories, people come out of

35:34

the woodwork, talks with doctors, when the

35:36

good news comes by, you really latch

35:39

on to it. And the doctor today

35:41

was, you know, Christian, I went in,

35:43

and we're talking to the doctor, he

35:45

says, I had a chance to really

35:47

look like study your MRI because we

35:49

get the disc that they got from

35:51

the other hospital and it's like I

35:53

really had a chance to sit down

35:55

and look at it and then go

35:58

over all the treatment and I'm really

36:00

happy with what we're doing and this

36:02

is the perfect treatment and I've seen

36:04

I've seen much much much much worse

36:06

because this is the perfect treatment and

36:08

I've seen I've seen I've seen much

36:10

much much worse. hope coming from from

36:12

the guy who should know you know

36:15

so the big day will be six

36:17

months from now? Yeah, I guess. When

36:19

you go get a second MRI? There's

36:21

a couple big days I'm looking forward

36:23

to. One is the end of the

36:25

radiation, because that'll be about a week

36:27

before my wedding. So coincidentally, the radiation

36:29

is going to end a week before

36:31

my wedding. So coincidentally, the radiation is

36:34

going to end a week before the

36:36

wedding, a week before the wedding, and

36:38

a week before the honeymoon, all the

36:40

things I'm supposed to enjoy. You know,

36:42

I got really... not have to worry

36:44

about it. By the way, Christie, his

36:46

fiancé, is, I was so, I mean,

36:48

I went to her bridal shower and

36:51

her bridal shower just happened to be

36:53

scheduled right after. Right there, right there.

36:55

She had two showers, one, my, my,

36:57

my, my, my, uh, my Bay Area

36:59

family and friends through her one in

37:01

the Bay Area and then she had

37:03

one for her friends and family here

37:05

in LA and that was two consecutive.

37:07

Wow. And you expected to be a

37:10

very modeling type of affair, but it

37:12

wasn't. It was really hopeful and happy.

37:14

The first question when Brian told me,

37:16

I don't know why, maybe because I'm

37:18

pregnant, but the first thing I asked

37:20

is, how's your mom? He was just

37:22

thinking, you know, they're really close. That

37:24

was really hard because my parents were

37:27

on vacation in Tahoe. And I was

37:29

going to go up anyway the next

37:31

day with Christy for the bridal shower

37:33

just to hang around and see the

37:35

family and everything. and the plan was

37:37

my dad was going to be up

37:39

in Tahoe the whole weekend and I

37:41

had to call and essentially say tell

37:43

him what's going on. It's very very

37:46

hard to do, very hard to do,

37:48

especially because I was, my first thought

37:50

weirdly was like, I hate to ruin

37:52

your vacation. I'm sorry you're all the

37:54

big guys, I'm sorry I'm sorry I

37:56

got the drive back from Tahoe, but

37:58

I got bad news and I'll be

38:00

home tomorrow, I feel fine. Nancy was

38:03

there at the his mom was there

38:05

at the bridal shower and she looked

38:07

pretty she looked good there was a

38:09

second she's such a lovely woman I

38:11

really like her a lot and there

38:13

was a second I looked in her

38:15

eyes and you know there was a

38:17

there was a moment she seeks she

38:19

there was a little twinge of fear

38:22

for the most part she was really

38:24

keeping it together I think I think

38:26

it was a I can't speak for

38:28

anyone but it's it's a guarded it's

38:30

a guarded hope you know this is

38:32

these are this whole part of our

38:34

lives you know there's getting engaged and

38:36

showers and bachelor parties and plan for

38:39

the wedding is all supposed to be

38:41

the most joyous you know celebration and

38:43

in a way It's even more joyous

38:45

because it looks not as a thing.

38:47

People stress out about their wedding. People

38:49

get worried about the DJ and the

38:51

venue and the food and I'm just

38:53

so excited for it all. It's a

38:55

finish line, as a goal, as a

38:58

thing to like... Enjoy and explode into

39:00

you know what I'm saying? I'm it's

39:02

definitely poignant I mean when you're starting

39:04

a life with somebody if there we

39:06

all know it's not forever right you

39:08

know but there's just something something pointed

39:10

about it and if Christie is really

39:12

tough and everything was everyone's happy smiles

39:15

you wouldn't have known anything and then

39:17

Somebody just made a speech and said,

39:19

you know, these two are going to

39:21

be facing a lot of challenges. That's

39:23

all they said. There was no tumor,

39:25

there's no cancer, there's no, just challenges.

39:27

And it was like, oh no, this

39:29

is so embarrassing. I mean, for all

39:31

these people, I don't know. I hope

39:34

people weren't feeling awkward. No, it wasn't.

39:36

It really wasn't. It was beautiful. And

39:38

so it's optimistic and we get married

39:40

and we do the honeymoon and we

39:42

do the whole thing and then somewhere

39:44

around the beginning of the year. Well,

39:46

the Kimo starts up again in about

39:48

four weeks after that. They go, they

39:51

do a reduced cycle of something like

39:53

five days on, 23 days off. So,

39:55

but Kimo will be reduced to a

39:57

much, a much simpler schedule. The seven

39:59

days a week. A personal question about

40:01

the, which is, pertains to the future.

40:03

Yes. I only know this because you

40:05

guys recall, my brother had the. centimeter,

40:07

same music metric, the spinal tumor, he's

40:10

fine now, he's fine now, he's fine

40:12

now, but yeah, so but I know

40:14

that when he, before he started radiation,

40:16

he had to, well he was asked

40:18

whether or not he wanted to bank

40:20

some... Well he was beating off at

40:22

the time, anyway, you want to say

40:24

that? He was asked, you know, whether

40:27

he could, because they thought with radiation

40:29

in Kimo he might affect his, you

40:31

might become sterile. I got the same,

40:33

no, I got the same thing. Doctors,

40:35

first thing, one of the first things

40:37

the doctor said was, you may want

40:39

to visit a fertility clinic and do

40:41

some storage. Did you store? I did.

40:44

I did. And it was very hasty

40:46

because I got the diagnosis on a

40:48

Thursday and did the treatment like... the

40:50

next week so i really have a

40:52

couple days how good is the porn

40:54

have to be when you've just been

40:56

told you have the porn was missing

40:58

what was stolen porn really there are

41:00

empty they're empty boxes oh really yeah

41:03

you know see that porn from a

41:05

but see that's where the that's where

41:07

the years of training in honing one's

41:09

craft and beating off comes in it's

41:11

sort of like Remember like

41:13

when Mike Tyson got knocked out

41:15

by Buster Douglas and he was

41:18

on the ground and he was

41:20

clearly out of his mind? I

41:22

mean like you're you're concussed at

41:24

that point but even so he

41:26

was reaching around looking for his

41:28

mouthpiece like just Boxers can get

41:31

up after literally being hit in

41:33

the head with a two by

41:35

four and pop up and when

41:37

the referee says, can you continue?

41:39

I'm fine. It's instinct, it's training.

41:41

That's when the instinct, that's where

41:44

the repetition kicks, that's where the

41:46

repetition kicks in. That's why he's

41:48

a pro. You didn't know your

41:50

whole life, you were training for

41:52

this masturbatory moment. I didn't realize,

41:54

you know, it's not ever. day

41:57

to do this. Did you go

41:59

to the clinic? Yeah. And I

42:01

swear to Christ, I've been to

42:03

those things. Hollow, the one I

42:05

went to, Hollow Core bathroom doors,

42:07

that literally sound hits them, they're

42:10

then amplified in a little chamber

42:12

like what, like that empty bubble

42:14

on top of the whales head

42:16

or whatever they use to make

42:18

their noises. And then it just

42:20

comes firing through the door. Really

42:23

four inches of daylight underneath the

42:25

undercut door there must have been

42:27

shag carpet in the place before

42:29

and the cackling nurses at the

42:31

nurse station or whatever they are

42:33

literally for me to you Donnie

42:36

you can hear him just going

42:38

off. Oh if somebody's put some

42:40

weight on it they're cackling and

42:42

they won't shut the fuck up

42:44

and you're like also they know

42:46

you're beating off like that's the

42:49

weird thing like you know your

42:51

step mom when you were having

42:53

your 20-minute showers in the ninth

42:55

grade suspected you were beating off,

42:57

but it was never confirmed. You're

42:59

right here for you. You never

43:02

went to the kitchen and said,

43:04

I'm beating off. May I be

43:06

excused from the table? I'm going

43:08

to juror to the bathroom and

43:10

smack my meat. But they know

43:12

what you're doing. and by the

43:15

way how about a little reference

43:17

you know i mean how about

43:19

how about a little you know

43:21

listen if you if if at

43:23

the library there's signs telling you

43:25

to shut the fuck up there's

43:28

a hobo reading the u s

43:30

a day you gotta shut the

43:32

fuck up how about a little

43:34

quiet please you know this a

43:36

little fucking respect for the guy

43:38

friend to knock one out the

43:41

next room there's probably a little

43:43

bit of like it's the man

43:45

show guy oh look at him

43:47

Yeah, I know. That was the

43:49

whole... Where do you go in

43:51

your mind when you need to

43:53

make this happen? You have no

43:56

porn. You don't have to. You're

43:58

women. You're approaching it from... perspective.

44:01

You know what it was? It was

44:03

business time. This must be done. This

44:05

must be done. I've got things to

44:07

do. But you went into deep files

44:09

though. You can dig deep back to

44:11

high school if you need to. Do

44:13

you have that one special memory? Uh,

44:15

I will underwhel you guys and say

44:17

that I did, I did locate some

44:19

porn in the room. I did. Well,

44:22

there, there was a emergency porn. Luckily,

44:24

someone left one in the machine, but

44:26

it wasn't at a good point. Sometimes

44:28

when I'm in a pinch, I'll harken

44:30

back to high school and think about

44:32

my buddy Chris fucking one of the

44:34

shit, and then it's like, yeah. You're

44:36

fantasy impulse on someone else? Well, I

44:38

wasn't done. If I went back to

44:40

me in high school, it's just me

44:42

beating off again. That's right. And that'd

44:45

be like putting a mirror in front

44:47

of you and behind you. Just infinity

44:49

of me jacking off. Totally good off.

44:51

You have to think about my friends

44:53

who've got laid in high school. Talk

44:55

about nest all the steam. Was there

44:57

ever a moment when you thought we've

44:59

got this big wedding plan in Napa?

45:01

Let's call it off and go to

45:03

City Hall and get married tomorrow. There

45:05

was a moment of hysteria where a

45:08

friend of ours, a really good friend

45:10

of ours, offered to get ordained and

45:12

marry us, but as cool and impulsive

45:14

as that sounded, and it did sound

45:16

kind of cool and impulsive, I really,

45:18

the wedding just, just, sounded so even

45:20

more, sounds silly, but more like sanctimonious,

45:22

you know, more, even more, the sanctity

45:24

of the wedding seemed more important, you

45:26

know what I mean? I took on

45:29

more gravitas, exactly. It's like, oh man,

45:31

I'm really... Also, no, Adam really has

45:33

to go. I mean, there's no way

45:35

out. You could have gotten out before.

45:37

No. I mean, unless the pilot picks

45:39

up. I have no way of avoiding

45:41

this. Yeah. No, I'm, I'm, what is

45:43

it June? Yeah, in the gym. Yeah,

45:45

yeah. Well, Lynette's announced that we're definitely,

45:47

definitely going. So. Hey, Brian, I want

45:49

to back up for a second. It's

45:52

just me, because I'm a little bit

45:54

slow. But you said you found some

45:56

porn in the machine. In the machine.

45:58

In the, in the machine. Sorry. set,

46:01

the television DVD combo. I thought maybe

46:03

you had to put your piece in

46:05

some kind of sheet. I had a

46:07

moment too. You know what, I will,

46:09

I will put, I took pictures because

46:12

it was still a comical, I will

46:14

take pictures, I will post pictures on

46:16

Hy-Brien.com. Really? You took pictures of the

46:18

porn room. Really? And hi Ryan is

46:21

your website and you're going to be

46:23

discussing. I was hoping it was going

46:25

to be Tuesday's. 80s porn? 90s porn?

46:27

Uh, no it was, um, there was

46:30

actually a fetish porn. Oh really? Yeah.

46:32

I had to, I think when I

46:34

went into the spankatorium, I, I played

46:36

it cool. Like I think the nurse

46:39

said, you know, like held up like

46:41

a porn basket. It's like a cigarette

46:43

girl. Yeah, it's kind of like what

46:45

they do when you're flying economy and

46:48

she just holds the wicker basket up

46:50

and there's some cheese that's in there

46:52

and some peanuts and you can grab

46:54

the one you want. I scoffed at

46:57

it. I got this. I don't need

46:59

your porn. Send that to the next

47:01

old man. Yeah, if she left, I

47:03

would immediately rum and strew it and

47:06

grab what I needed to. Does a

47:08

clinic have? There was Asian born. I

47:10

mean, is that classified as a fetish?

47:12

If you're not Asian, it's a fetish.

47:14

If you're an Asian, it's just porn.

47:17

Same as it was blacker or young

47:19

looking or whatever. That counts as a

47:21

fetish porn. It does. Who goes on

47:23

the porn run at the spankitorium? And

47:26

who decides, like, what kind of, and

47:28

is it? A part of me understood

47:30

it because you're paying so much, God,

47:32

they have money. It's like, I'm going

47:35

to leave here with something. Right. So

47:37

people are just ripping poor movies off

47:39

from the clinic. Because it's expensive. How

47:41

else to explain the empty shells? The

47:44

empty cases. There's no place to hide

47:46

in there man. The rooms must be

47:48

as coffee chamber. You know how people

47:50

make jokes about the magazines at the

47:53

doctor's office being like three month old

47:55

cheerleading coach digest? Right. The porn is

47:57

analogous. Well, it's the highlights of porn.

47:59

Exactly. porn. It's not us

48:02

weekly. I know I wish. Well that's

48:04

why I always be a B-Y-O-P which

48:06

is a roll of your own. Yeah

48:08

I roll with my own porn. I

48:11

mean in today's you know I I

48:13

phone world you know I mean it's

48:15

just oh good point you should you

48:18

should have packed your own porn. You

48:20

can't treat it like the Hollywood ball.

48:22

Could have sick my iPod. picnic basket

48:24

full of porn with you over there.

48:27

Plus I was I was I was

48:29

I was I was I was but

48:31

they had to kind of get out

48:33

of there like I mean Christie called

48:36

the appointment and she was asking questions

48:38

like how long does this take and

48:40

the nurse said well that that kind

48:42

of depends on him. I was like

48:45

all right well the the other thing

48:47

is So the chemo in the radiation

48:49

could possibly kill your sperm for good?

48:52

Yes. But could. Did they tell you

48:54

what the chances of that are? I'll

48:56

ask the doctor tomorrow because it was

48:58

it was All you need to hear

49:01

sometimes is, hey, this could leave you

49:03

sterile, so... It's better to. Yeah, exactly.

49:05

I didn't need percentages, you know, if

49:07

there's a 10 per... Well. And then

49:10

it must cost something to maintain your

49:12

frozen sperm, right? How much is it?

49:14

I think the initial, the initial everything

49:17

was somewhere in the $700 range. You

49:19

could have got a whore for that.

49:21

Hold this for me. You don't have

49:23

to beat off for 700 bucks. I

49:26

have a freezer. I've had electrical bills.

49:28

And then I made a second deposit

49:30

for a second time because it increases

49:32

your chances of getting a good sample.

49:35

And that cost another 166 bucks. So

49:37

about a thousand bucks. And then isn't

49:39

there like a monthly or yearly storage

49:41

fee and I think it's it's it's

49:44

not as much as that but it

49:46

is a yearly storage fee incentive to

49:48

use it earlier yes and then down

49:51

the gum of horse if you don't

49:53

pay up for like three they do

49:55

what they do with Paris Hilton storage

49:57

locker they have put off her auction

50:00

and this is a bunch of fat

50:02

guys with suspenders and handlebar moustaches show

50:04

up it's like we're not gonna tell

50:06

you who's jiz this is we're starting

50:09

at $140 but it could turn out

50:11

to be Thomas Edison or George Clooney

50:13

so you might It's so crazy when

50:16

they do those things when they don't

50:18

tell you it's Paris Hilton's locker and

50:20

they don't tell you what's in the

50:22

locker so you don't know. Well think

50:25

about it I mean Lance Armstrong had

50:27

cancer and I'm sure he left a

50:29

sample you could be getting Lance Armstrong's

50:31

sperm. I'm just saying I want to

50:34

hit that auction. What's the cooler for?

50:36

Don't worry about it. You're going fishing?

50:38

Hell no! Well, I've already told Christie

50:41

this, because like you said, hope is

50:43

important, but in my brother's case, he

50:45

is not sterile. There you go. Oh,

50:47

he's not. In fact, he's, well, it's

50:50

early on, but he may be, we

50:52

may be having little cousins. Oh, wow,

50:54

wow. Well, Teresa, just because there's moments

50:56

left and Brian, I think we got

50:59

the full story on your situation, which

51:01

started out as bleak and is hopefully

51:03

moving toward hopeful yeah i mean you

51:05

guys as we as we go in

51:08

your own words i mean you guys

51:10

see me and i i hopefully i

51:12

don't see the much different if anything

51:15

i mean i don't know you sound

51:17

the same yeah i not to not

51:19

to put too fun a point on

51:21

her or a cliche but i don't

51:24

i feel like You know, you put

51:26

your life in a very philosophical terms

51:28

and perspective and stuff and I feel

51:30

like I was made for this. You

51:33

know what I mean? Like I'm a

51:35

young guy and I, you guys always

51:37

used to joke around, I had like

51:40

an endless enthusiasm, sort of a jois

51:42

de viv, or did I say that?

51:44

Your pompous ass is what we're calling.

51:46

But that comes from a, not a

51:49

confidence, but I really do feel like

51:51

everything is going to work out. He's

51:53

a positive person, which is why it's

51:55

hard for me to relate to relate

51:58

to him to him to him. figure

52:01

out why he was positive. He was

52:03

fat and bald. It wasn't. And yet

52:05

he still seemed kind of bourgeois. But

52:07

look at me now. Yeah, no, I

52:10

was talking to, I think Dr. Drew

52:12

about it, and you know, he wanted

52:14

to know how your spirits were. And

52:17

I just said, I don't think there's,

52:19

I don't think you have a switch.

52:21

you don't have that mode, you know,

52:23

you don't have a small, your medium

52:26

or a large, you told me you

52:28

probably had a lot of feelings running

52:30

through you and might not even remember

52:33

at the time because it was so

52:35

close to your diagnosis maybe just a

52:37

couple hours after it, but you told

52:40

me about your brain tumor in a

52:42

very casual tone. And that is just

52:44

who you are, you're not hysteric. quickly

52:46

update on your pregnancy i've also got

52:49

a growth but i do i do

52:51

feel like uh... they will be out

52:53

of you at some point yeah exactly

52:56

it will be it will be out

52:58

of me at some point uh... boy

53:00

this really puts the heartburn in perspective

53:02

yes they're kidding you know i got

53:05

something for that Yeah,

53:07

I mean, it was, he told

53:09

me in a casual tone too,

53:11

and I think, I was kind

53:13

of in shock, all right, I

53:15

think I didn't realize how serious

53:17

it was, because even though I

53:19

did hear inoperable brain tumor, something

53:21

about Brian's tone made me think,

53:23

well, this is just a thing

53:25

they treat, and it's going to

53:27

be okay. That's how I feel.

53:29

And then I googled it and

53:32

then I wish I hadn't done

53:34

that, but I was up all

53:36

night and I really stressed out

53:38

a lot. But I agree. I

53:40

mean if anyone can handle something

53:42

like this, it's not just because

53:44

he's physically hardy, but he's emotionally

53:46

hardy. Yes. And you are due?

53:48

October 2nd. Yeah, we're having a

53:50

boy. I'm having a boy and

53:52

you're looking at names. Yeah, I

53:54

don't have anything. Nothing. I had

53:56

a girl's name all picked out.

53:58

I really thought I was going

54:00

to have a girl. can I

54:03

say, uh, these, uh, okay, if

54:05

you're thinking girls are really cute

54:07

and you'd like one and you're

54:09

having a boy, you shouldn't go

54:11

into a baby store? Because they're

54:13

filled with cute girly things? Really?

54:15

Oh my God. I went in

54:17

there to buy a gift and

54:19

it was like an attack, like,

54:21

teeras and like a purse shaped

54:23

like a chocolate chip cookie and

54:25

a little heart-shaped lip gloss. And

54:27

then for boys, it's like, here's

54:29

a pair of cargo cargo pants.

54:31

There's so, and the girls are

54:34

spoon fed this stuff via Disney,

54:36

so early and so often, I

54:38

had to dress my daughter in

54:40

her princess. She walks around the

54:42

house in her princess heels, her

54:44

tiara, her princess necklace, and her

54:46

princess, whatever. And she explained to

54:48

my Guatemala Nanny Olga the other

54:50

day who... has a, well let's,

54:52

her, she has a, let's just

54:54

say, heavy set 21 year old

54:56

daughter, who's, you know, sweet as

54:58

hell, but knowing she's a little

55:00

bit heavy set helps the story,

55:03

she was, her name is Paula,

55:05

she was explaining to Olga that

55:07

we, meaning me and my wife,

55:09

have a princess, you have Paula,

55:11

which is just your daughter. You

55:13

have a daughter, we have a

55:15

princess. It's different. It's totally different.

55:17

I don't know if she sized

55:19

her up and realized she wouldn't

55:21

fit into the slipper. I don't

55:23

know what it was, but just

55:25

the idea that she already knows

55:27

she's a princess and she's not

55:29

turned three yet, and was explaining

55:31

to me that she was going

55:34

to live in a castle. Maybe

55:36

boys aren't so bad. I mean,

55:38

I'm excited. Let me tell you

55:40

something. You want a boy. I'll

55:42

tell you, it's pure and simple.

55:44

the same gene Donnie has that

55:46

puts him over here, you know,

55:48

beating off to you porn and

55:50

messing around with his mini bikes

55:52

at two in the morning in

55:54

solitude. Literally. alone. Just once

55:56

to escape, go

55:58

to the basement,

56:00

get out the

56:02

soldering iron and

56:05

start tinkering or just

56:07

cruise the eBay looking for mini for

56:09

minibike parts. That's what My son

56:11

My son the room, goes right

56:13

to the room, has engine, pushes it in pushes

56:15

it a solitude, in a circle, forever,

56:17

and then you have to rip him

56:19

away from it to eat, and he

56:21

wants to get back to his Tank

56:24

Engine. She will follow you around the

56:26

house, your tugging on back, wants you to sleeve, Let

56:28

pulling you back, on my you to pick

56:30

her up. show, Let me, daddy, get on

56:32

my shirt, going on? on the shirt, she calls

56:34

daddy, what's going on? my J. Joe,

56:36

she calls Jay's monkey you know, something, wants to know what

56:38

he's with something, wants to know what

56:40

he's doing, face, to get in, in his

56:42

face. know, look at everyone around, are you going, where

56:44

you at me, look at me, where

56:46

are you going, where are you

56:48

going without me? Come back here, take

56:51

me here. He wants to be

56:53

left alone with his come back, Because guys

56:55

like physical things. We like cars.

56:57

I mean, it starts off with choo

56:59

-choo trains, then it gives way to

57:01

bicycles, and then it gives way to

57:03

cars, it gives way to architecture,

57:05

whatever. We like stuff. We Stuff doesn't

57:07

have emotions, they don't have feelings feelings, our

57:09

anything. We actually want to be

57:12

left alone left inanimate our Right. objects. Girls

57:14

don't like stuff, like stuff, is

57:16

their stuff is people. they get

57:18

And so they We they get

57:20

whatever. Tinker with people. Right.

57:22

Whatever hearts and souls in gets

57:24

from his from his

57:27

my daughter gets from

57:29

me. from And not only

57:31

that, the only only stuff, I

57:33

know I'm getting fired up now,

57:35

but I've just discovered an idea

57:37

here. an The only stuff that

57:39

most women like. like. they

57:41

don't even like the like the My

57:43

wife doesn't like jewelry. She

57:46

wants me to get

57:48

her jewelry right watch or

57:50

whatever. So even so stuff

57:52

she claims to like, to like

57:54

just a, it's just

57:56

a vestige or manifestation of

57:58

an emotion. of me

58:00

going and spending time with and spending

58:02

money and agonizing and effort. Geez, $5,000,

58:05

a lot of money for a watch,

58:07

but I guess you're worth it, sweetie.

58:09

You know what I'm saying? So even

58:11

the stuff is really not stuff. It's

58:14

just an example of more emotional, whatever.

58:16

Right. The thing that concerns me, although

58:18

you're right, and I am excited because

58:20

I know a girl would turn on

58:23

me at age 12 and they just

58:25

hate me because she's gonna hate me.

58:27

right and a guy probably won't so

58:29

hopefully my boy won't know but the

58:32

fart jokes really I mean all boys

58:34

love fart jokes let one go right

58:36

that's not funny to me that's an

58:38

easy target though you always have something

58:41

to fall back on you know Talk

58:43

about Easy Target, my son is literally

58:45

ass. It's like somebody, somebody took his

58:47

nose, put a level under it, took

58:50

my asshole and put a level across

58:52

it and the bubble was like right

58:54

in the middle. Like he's exactly ass

58:56

height. He's six two, he's three foot

58:59

one and it's just, I'm just walking

59:01

black one right in his face. Okay,

59:03

so my last name, my new last

59:05

name, my husband's last name, it is

59:08

precisely like the name Wojowets from Barney

59:10

Mill. It is a long Polish name.

59:12

So for a second I was thinking,

59:14

Shane Wojowets, because it would sound like

59:17

a Polish cowboy. But all men have

59:19

hated that. Every guy I've told that

59:21

to, no, that's an awful name. Don't

59:23

name your son, that. You don't mind

59:26

Shane? I think another one was Shane.

59:28

You gotta go short. Gotta go short.

59:30

One syllables nice because of the long,

59:32

multi syllabic syllabic last name. The other

59:35

thing I was thinking was it's really

59:37

simple, but James. Yeah, except

59:39

for he just turns to a gym

59:41

and there's five there's five guys in

59:43

his frat. Yeah, Jim is a tough

59:45

name, but I was saying if we

59:48

did James David, he could be JD.

59:50

Yeah, but you know, I just think

59:52

James, I mean, it's my dad's name

59:54

is James, so maybe that's my problem

59:56

with it, but there's Jimmy is Jimmy

59:58

and Jimmy's maintain his Jimmy, which is

1:00:01

actually kind of good because if he

1:00:03

was just Jim, then his dad is

1:00:05

Jim Senior. If you can, if you

1:00:07

think you can pull off the Jimmy.

1:00:09

I want to go with James. Will

1:00:11

I be able to control that? You

1:00:14

will not. No. People immediately start calling

1:00:16

Jim. And he'll call himself Jimmy. And

1:00:18

plus, he'll get some sort of menial

1:00:20

bullshit labor job where he's pushing a

1:00:22

broom or something in college or high

1:00:24

school or something and no supervisor X

1:00:26

Vietnam vet is going to stick with

1:00:29

James. Right. Not to some underlings. It's

1:00:31

going to be Jim. He'll get the

1:00:33

choice between Jim or Dushbag. Right. And

1:00:35

by the way, he'll inherently be a

1:00:37

douchebag, if he's the kind of James

1:00:39

that explains to people, it's James. You

1:00:42

can't be that guy. Don't be the

1:00:44

Atlanta. Yeah. Shane, a good name. You

1:00:46

like Shane? Hmm, the wrong one? Yeah,

1:00:48

Shane, solid. I don't mind Shane. Maybe

1:00:50

I'll get, my dad likes Max, but

1:00:52

I kind of feel like... Max is

1:00:55

a little precious and starting to get

1:00:57

fucked out. It's starting to get fucked

1:00:59

out. And I feel like being a

1:01:01

Jew named Teresa, I appreciate that I

1:01:03

can pass in certain, I have the

1:01:05

choice to pass because my name's kind

1:01:07

of Gentile. When you're basically Max Ojo-Ho,

1:01:10

you're not passing to anybody. Yeah. Even

1:01:12

though he'll be half capped. No, the

1:01:14

next big roundup comes along. Oh my

1:01:16

god, they're taking backs first. He's definitely

1:01:18

getting a giant star, David. Put on

1:01:20

his under rose and sent off to

1:01:23

Paul and somewhere. Was Shane really contender?

1:01:25

Like was a first one I liked,

1:01:27

but then too many people didn't like

1:01:29

it. I would not stop you from

1:01:31

naming him Shane. I would caution you

1:01:33

against the James. You're trying to think

1:01:36

it was not to. You know, when

1:01:38

you hear him, I think it was

1:01:40

a reason not to. Should we name

1:01:42

the tumor? Should we call it? Call

1:01:44

it. Jacksiller. Oh my God. I have

1:01:46

to tell you. When Brian told me

1:01:48

on the phone, we said, oh, it's

1:01:51

too bad. We're not on the air

1:01:53

anymore. This would be a lot of

1:01:55

good content. I said between my fetus

1:01:57

and your fetus. All

1:02:03

right, those Adam Curla Show

1:02:05

57, come up next to

1:02:07

me of Adam Curla Show

1:02:10

661. Adam Curla, Michael Moore,

1:02:12

one on one from 2011.

1:02:14

Check it out. Today, Adam

1:02:17

sits down one-on-one with Academy

1:02:19

award-winning documentarian Michael Moore. And

1:02:21

now, knee surgery be damned.

1:02:24

He's doing a show. Adam

1:02:26

Corolla. Yeah, get it on.

1:02:29

Got to get it on.

1:02:31

No choice but to get

1:02:33

it on. Mandate. Get it

1:02:36

on. Yeah, Mike

1:02:38

Moore should be in here for

1:02:40

just a second or so. I'm

1:02:42

a little bit loopy. I had

1:02:44

my knee surgery this morning. Oh,

1:02:46

so many things to complain about.

1:02:48

So little time. For you folks

1:02:50

that are watching at home, I'll

1:02:53

roll my pant leg up and

1:02:55

get a little looksie. I don't

1:02:57

know where to begin. Couple things.

1:03:00

I know it sounds stupid.

1:03:02

This is a Friday afternoon

1:03:04

and we're pre-taping this show.

1:03:06

I'm due to race, my

1:03:08

vintage race at Coronado as

1:03:10

I do almost every year,

1:03:13

on Saturday and Sunday. So

1:03:15

they do a lot of

1:03:17

things like, well, after you

1:03:19

get your knee done, no

1:03:21

driving for 24 hours, staying

1:03:23

bed for 48 hours, keep

1:03:25

it elevated and keep ice

1:03:27

on it. And my plan

1:03:29

is to go to San

1:03:32

Diego and do some vintage

1:03:34

car racing the following morning.

1:03:36

So my wife... Lynette's

1:03:38

like what are you doing with that that car

1:03:40

thing and I'm like I don't know I'll see

1:03:42

how I feel I'll see how I feel if

1:03:45

I feel good I feel good Sunday morning I'm

1:03:47

going and I'm just that kind of guy and

1:03:49

I don't mean that kind of guy like yeah

1:03:51

I'm the old spice man I just mean as

1:03:54

I've said a million times I had hernia surgery

1:03:56

Drew said I was going to be on my

1:03:58

back for a week I had it Friday night

1:04:00

I woke up Saturday morning I woke up very

1:04:02

Saturday morning like 6 a.m. Saturday morning and I

1:04:05

had something that I really wanted to do which

1:04:07

was work on my house and I got out

1:04:09

of bed and my wife said where are you

1:04:11

going and I said to work on the house

1:04:14

and she said you had her knee surgery 18

1:04:16

hours ago and I said I feel fine and

1:04:18

I'll stop if I don't feel fine and I

1:04:20

went and hung doors that day and I felt

1:04:23

fine I'm not saying I'm a hero yeah No,

1:04:25

I'm saying I felt fine. It's not like I

1:04:28

sucked it up and went, you know what, I

1:04:30

got a, I got, I got, it's gut check

1:04:32

time. I got out of bed and I felt

1:04:34

good. So if I felt good, your body will

1:04:36

tell you if it doesn't feel good. If it

1:04:38

doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel good. So I

1:04:40

said, I'll get up Saturday morning, I'll get up

1:04:42

Saturday morning, and I wince and fall back into

1:04:44

bed, then I won't go to San Diego and

1:04:46

fall back to San Diego and race my race

1:04:48

my race my race my race. I have all

1:04:51

the doctors and the nurses and stuff, elevation, ice,

1:04:53

don't take a shower for 48 hours, then the

1:04:55

dressing will come off, will change the dressing at

1:04:57

that point, you come back with a fall-up visit,

1:04:59

if the pain gets too bad, after an hour,

1:05:01

the pain medication is going to wear off, you

1:05:03

start taking Vikit in, and again, stay off it,

1:05:05

elevation, and ice, and then my wife walks in

1:05:07

and goes, sees me, the wheelchair and goes, you

1:05:09

still playing on racing tomorrow? What? Of course not.

1:05:11

I'm racing tomorrow. I can't do that. And then

1:05:13

she's like, oh, okay, good. And then we get

1:05:16

in the car and she's like, all right, so

1:05:18

what's playing for tomorrow? I said, I'm going to

1:05:20

San Diego. She said, you just told me you

1:05:22

weren't racing. I said, in front of everybody. You

1:05:24

don't fucking walk in in front of these people

1:05:26

after they just did work on you and go,

1:05:28

you're going out racing tomorrow? You're going out racing

1:05:30

tomorrow? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I like,

1:05:32

I'm, I like, I like, I like, I like,

1:05:34

I like, I like, I like, I'm, I like,

1:05:36

I like, I like, I like, I like, I

1:05:39

like, I like, I like, I like, I like,

1:05:41

I like, I like, I like, I like, I

1:05:43

like, I like, I like, I like, I like,

1:05:45

I like, I like, I like, I'm

1:05:47

a fucking... I didn't lie for

1:05:50

the first 30 years of my

1:05:52

life and then I realized I

1:05:54

had a tremendous gift. All great

1:05:57

actors have, which is a lot.

1:05:59

I looked at her, I was

1:06:02

indignant, I was like racing. I

1:06:04

just got my knee fix. I'm

1:06:06

not racing tomorrow and as soon

1:06:09

as we got in the car

1:06:11

now That was this morning. I

1:06:14

feel pretty good right now and

1:06:16

that ain't the Vicky talking. So

1:06:18

I think we'll be good to

1:06:21

go for tomorrow, but we'll have

1:06:23

to figure this out. I did

1:06:26

20 minutes on the hospital down

1:06:28

at the hospital. I've done 20

1:06:30

minutes on it in my book

1:06:33

and I cannot... This is... This

1:06:35

is my new Moby Dick, by

1:06:38

the way. I took on... Ketchup

1:06:40

packets, I waged battle bravely with

1:06:42

Ketchup packets and pow, insto, changeo.

1:06:45

Next, hospital gowns. I... Let me

1:06:47

just, let me just set the

1:06:50

mood. I'll set the mood. They

1:06:53

said early morning surgery. No food, no

1:06:55

drink after 10 p.m. I finished our

1:06:58

show over Lovett's about 930. I had

1:07:00

to go to the Primonote feast of

1:07:02

San Genero with Jimmy and I going

1:07:05

on our 10th year now and go

1:07:07

do the auction if there's ever time

1:07:09

you needed a glass of red wine

1:07:12

in your hand it's after you left

1:07:14

the stage and before you entered the

1:07:16

stage again so i literally walked off

1:07:19

the stage over at love its club

1:07:21

drove across town got up on stage

1:07:23

and next you know jimmy and i

1:07:26

are auctioning off shak's shoe and I

1:07:28

got a glass of wine in my

1:07:30

hand and before you know it it's

1:07:33

11 o'clock and I got a glass

1:07:35

of wine in my hand and then

1:07:37

I got home and I put a

1:07:40

couple glasses of wine in me. Now

1:07:42

smash cut to 7.15 the following morning.

1:07:44

A little bit hung over, I've had

1:07:46

a rough week, Molly, many other things

1:07:49

back and forth at the doctor and

1:07:51

I am sitting about 8 a m.

1:07:53

I'm in a room with a sink

1:07:56

and a toilet. well lit, cold tile

1:07:58

floor, and the last instructions I get

1:08:00

from the woman is take off everything.

1:08:03

Can't leave anything else on and put

1:08:05

this on. And I'm handed a medium-sized

1:08:07

shammy with arms in it and a

1:08:10

piece of yarn in the back of

1:08:12

it to attempt to tie. Now let

1:08:14

me say this. There is no physical

1:08:17

possible way that you can tie this

1:08:19

down without your ass hanging out. And

1:08:21

by the way... It's not the part

1:08:24

of your ass that's going to show.

1:08:26

Let's put it. I'll put it to

1:08:28

you this way. There's a part of

1:08:31

your ass. You can show on TV.

1:08:33

Side ass, hip ass, profile ass, and

1:08:35

then there's a part of your ass.

1:08:38

You cannot show on TV. That's crack

1:08:40

and back sac, baby. And I got

1:08:42

a little extra hair on mine. And

1:08:45

I am not comfortable. walking in front

1:08:47

of a group of strangers and it's

1:08:49

the most well-lit place on the planet

1:08:51

and it's a beehive of activity and

1:08:54

there's 30 faces you don't recognize except

1:08:56

for they know you from the man

1:08:58

show and dancing with the stars and

1:09:01

you're just gonna walk out with your

1:09:03

asshole. to the world. And I sat

1:09:05

there and I pulled it over my

1:09:08

head. You know what it's like to

1:09:10

tie a bow backwards? It's sort of

1:09:12

like when you hold a mirror and

1:09:15

try to pop a zit on the

1:09:17

back of your neck and your hand

1:09:19

starts going the wrong way. Even when

1:09:22

you corrected it still just keeps pulling

1:09:24

the wrong way. So like, it's like

1:09:26

backing a trailer up. You turn to

1:09:29

the right, you start, the trailer starts

1:09:31

going to left, you can't figure out,

1:09:33

it's just, it's backwards. So you try

1:09:36

to tie the bow up around your

1:09:38

neck, you try to go, I got

1:09:40

nothing, a wisp of yarn. We got

1:09:43

Gary, it's comical because he's big. Gary,

1:09:45

come in here, I'm six to 200

1:09:47

pounds too, so I'm, I'm no flyweight.

1:09:50

But, Gary, attempt to put this gown

1:09:52

on. And see if you

1:09:54

can do it. Remove your shirt, please.

1:09:56

Are you too modest? Yeah. look good

1:09:59

with your... Oh no you know. No

1:10:01

you know. No you know. No you're

1:10:03

fine. You're fine. Now seriously attempt to

1:10:06

put this fucking down on and remember

1:10:08

keep in mind you're nervous you're going

1:10:10

into surgery and the last words that

1:10:12

somebody said was put this on and

1:10:15

I'll see in the hall and the

1:10:17

next thing you want them to think

1:10:19

is you're beating off in there taking

1:10:22

a shit or something. and Gary you're

1:10:24

doing a better job than I was

1:10:26

of tying it because I eventually what

1:10:29

I did is I tied the head

1:10:31

part the part around the neck and

1:10:33

I slipped it over my head like

1:10:35

a smock and then I just walked

1:10:38

out clutching it shut now again It's

1:10:41

a weird thing because you don't want

1:10:43

to seem like Mr. uptight. Wow, Gary,

1:10:45

let me see your ass. Alright, you

1:10:47

did about as, and by the way,

1:10:49

that will come apart when you take

1:10:52

four steps. You did as good a

1:10:54

job as you can do with that,

1:10:56

but I would still see your ass

1:10:58

crack if you walked around that room.

1:11:00

And here's the answer you would get.

1:11:03

Listen, these are doctors, these are nurses.

1:11:05

They're not uptight. They're used to this

1:11:07

sort of this sort of stuff. I

1:11:09

don't argue that. I'm not used to

1:11:11

it. It's not about them. It's about

1:11:14

me and my ass crack, not them

1:11:16

and their eyeballs. And it already came

1:11:18

undone. Here's a point. How much ass

1:11:20

do you want to see at work?

1:11:22

And by the way, let's try to

1:11:25

figure out the ratio of super models

1:11:27

versus old Jews coming into that place.

1:11:29

What do you think that ratio is?

1:11:31

Almost three to one? Two three to

1:11:33

one. How many how many fucking gazelle

1:11:36

buncheons do you get versus morti who's

1:11:38

81 who's gonna have a you know

1:11:40

boil lance? You got three gazelles to

1:11:42

every one morti right? No no another

1:11:45

way around I think there's a couple

1:11:47

more. It's close it's close it's close

1:11:49

all right Chris you can clear out

1:11:51

here thank you very much. Oh that's

1:11:53

cool I'm Gary but oh wait I'm

1:11:56

sorry what I call him Chris. Oh

1:11:58

yeah there's only four foot six you

1:12:01

too. I'm on medication. Michael Moore

1:12:03

just pulled up and before he

1:12:05

pulls in and takes a load

1:12:07

off. Let's pay some bills, huh?

1:12:10

How about go to my PC?

1:12:12

Life. Unpredictable. Look at me. Hell,

1:12:14

he's a horse a few days

1:12:17

back now. Hobbling around. Like a

1:12:19

gimp. Horrible. Yeah. Sick kids, traffic

1:12:21

jams, bad weather. All the things

1:12:23

you can't control, right? Can't be

1:12:26

productive at the office with the

1:12:28

sick kids and the traffic jams

1:12:30

and the bad weather. That's right.

1:12:32

tsunami. Oh man, that's a little

1:12:35

extreme. Snowstorm. That's right. I recommend

1:12:37

go to my PC brought to

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you by Citrix. Stay productive despite

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the unexpected. Except for, I always

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1:12:50

your home computer. So you get

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on home computer, you can get

1:12:55

to your office computer. Or you

1:12:57

can use your iPad. Hell, forget

1:13:00

about that screaming kid is hacking

1:13:02

up alone. How about you just

1:13:04

go hit the pizza coffee? Pull

1:13:06

that iPad out. That's right, work

1:13:09

on any file, use any program,

1:13:11

access your internal network, and you

1:13:13

can do it all from the

1:13:15

privacy of your own home or

1:13:18

the lavishness of the Starbucks coffee.

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Is the lavishness even a word?

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That's right, your office computer, just

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promo code. Adam, go to my

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PC. And one more quickie before

1:13:43

we bring Michael Moore in. Today

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1:14:06

Look at me. Knocking on

1:14:08

death's door moments ago. Oh,

1:14:10

this is a major surgery,

1:14:12

my friend. I actually floated

1:14:14

over the operating table. Oh,

1:14:16

wait a minute. Oh no,

1:14:18

no, I farted. Yeah, okay,

1:14:21

that's different. A totally different

1:14:23

experience. That's right. That's why

1:14:25

those guys were looking that

1:14:27

way. All right, where were

1:14:29

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347, 5748, licensing, and disclaimer

1:15:01

information can be found on

1:15:03

their website at smartterm.com. And

1:15:05

now folks, without any further

1:15:07

ado, the great Michael Moore. Good

1:15:10

to see you, my friend. Get up

1:15:12

and say my knee worked on. Sorry.

1:15:14

Yeah. I had a meniscus tear. Maniscus.

1:15:16

Yeah, it was my fault for a

1:15:18

Disney character. The dwarf they never spoke

1:15:21

of. Down the street here. The cage

1:15:23

with a bisexual dwarf. Maniscus. Right. Got

1:15:25

loose from Disney down the street. Kicked

1:15:27

out of the cottage. Banish from the

1:15:29

dwarf kingdom. Very nice to see you

1:15:32

Michael Moore. I'm a big fan. Thank

1:15:34

you for joining us. I'll put my

1:15:36

complaining about my meniscus on hold for

1:15:38

a second. We'll talk about your book.

1:15:40

We'll talk about you. I discovered the

1:15:42

book, by the way, Here Comes Trouble,

1:15:45

out as we speak, Michael Moore's new

1:15:47

book. I discovered you with Roger and

1:15:49

me many years ago, 89, I guess

1:15:51

it was. I thought it was one

1:15:53

of the better, maybe the best comedies

1:15:56

of the year. I never really looked

1:15:58

at it as a documentary or it

1:16:00

was one of those things where I

1:16:02

was laughing and I didn't really care

1:16:04

why I was laughing. I made it

1:16:06

as a comedy. Did you? Yes, I

1:16:09

told everybody while we were making, I

1:16:11

said. I hate documentaries. I don't go

1:16:13

to them. They feel like medicine. We

1:16:15

are going to make a movie and

1:16:17

the movie is going to be funny.

1:16:20

Yes, it will have some things to

1:16:22

say, but let's focus on the comedy

1:16:24

and the art of making a real

1:16:26

movie that people are going to go

1:16:28

to on a Friday night. and enjoy

1:16:30

and in fact ever since I've had

1:16:33

a little sign I put in my

1:16:35

edit room that says remember that people

1:16:37

want to go home and have sex

1:16:39

after watching this film right so that's

1:16:41

my that's kind of my philosophy for

1:16:44

not making up pumping up too big

1:16:46

of what we're trying to do here

1:16:48

we're making a movie and you know

1:16:50

if if if it was just a

1:16:52

sermon i want to give i go

1:16:54

to church or if i'd right want

1:16:57

to make a a political speech i'd

1:16:59

run for office uh... make it a

1:17:01

movie and you enter with an angle

1:17:03

i mean you go yeah here's what

1:17:05

i know here's what i know here's

1:17:08

what my opinion is yeah have you

1:17:10

ever gone into a project where you

1:17:12

went here's what my opinion is and

1:17:14

then at some point one yeah i

1:17:16

didn't know about that yes i did

1:17:18

actually uh... uh... uh... uh... bowling for

1:17:21

columbine mine I went into it with

1:17:23

this attitude of what we just need

1:17:25

are stronger gun laws in this country

1:17:27

and that'll solve the problem. And the

1:17:29

more I got into the movie, I

1:17:32

realized, and this really happened, the sort

1:17:34

of moment that the light bulb went

1:17:36

off. I was in Canada. And it

1:17:38

was at one of their government offices,

1:17:40

their statistics office. And it turns out

1:17:43

the Canadians have more guns than we

1:17:45

do per capita in their homes. And

1:17:47

they only kill at that time, you

1:17:49

know, 200 people a year of 35

1:17:51

million. right. Sprinkling. The jimmies on top

1:17:53

of the human Sunday. Nothing. So I

1:17:56

just thought, wow, so maybe the National

1:17:58

Rifle Association is right, or at least

1:18:00

partially right when they say guns don't

1:18:02

kill people, people kill people. Right. And

1:18:04

but what became clear to me the

1:18:07

way I altered that saying was in

1:18:09

my head I thought that you know

1:18:11

that's right guns don't kill people Americans

1:18:13

kill people right because the Canadians have

1:18:15

more guns than we do and they

1:18:17

don't kill each other the Swiss every

1:18:20

have to have a gun in every

1:18:22

house because there's no standing army so

1:18:24

there's a gun in every house they

1:18:26

don't kill each other right Israelis. you

1:18:28

know there's you never hear the domestic

1:18:31

homicide rate i mean i'm talking about

1:18:33

the war now i'm talking about just

1:18:35

each other yeah there's a gun there's

1:18:37

guns everywhere well they don't kill each

1:18:39

other no why do we kill each

1:18:41

other well that became then what the

1:18:44

film is about right were assholes i

1:18:46

mean there's couple things too and not

1:18:48

only within this country there's florida and

1:18:50

then there's main you know what i

1:18:52

mean and there's probably areas that are

1:18:55

more israel and other places that are

1:18:57

more the united states within the united

1:18:59

states you know obviously there's an agenda

1:19:01

and then there's a thing that the

1:19:03

left and the right does the left

1:19:05

and the right does the left will

1:19:08

do it sometimes with medical care they'll

1:19:10

go like you know in canada they

1:19:12

have coverage for and then the right

1:19:14

will go in sweet and everyone has

1:19:16

a gun but they don't kill any

1:19:19

anybody there's a but there's a difference

1:19:21

in cultures and a difference in people

1:19:23

in people which i found that i

1:19:25

found that to be something interesting to

1:19:27

explore what is it because the canadais

1:19:29

are not better people they're not better

1:19:32

humans than we are right so so

1:19:34

why them and not us you know

1:19:36

what is it about us when you

1:19:38

say we're assholes well how did we

1:19:40

get to be assholes because because i

1:19:43

i tend to believe we're actually pretty

1:19:45

good pretty good people and then we

1:19:47

know i you know what i think

1:19:49

I hate to cut you off, but

1:19:51

it's like I've I've always said LA

1:19:54

is pot holes and assholes and it's

1:19:56

a sort of group over here. Once

1:19:58

you get rid of all the folks

1:20:00

that came here to make eight bucks

1:20:02

an hour with a leaf blower or

1:20:04

you know bus tables or all the

1:20:07

folks that swam something or hop something

1:20:09

or came over in a coffee can't

1:20:11

get rid of all them. You just

1:20:13

get all the people in LA. they're

1:20:15

all the assholes from all the other

1:20:18

parts of the country who came here

1:20:20

to make it big so the population

1:20:22

here is not really an indigenous population

1:20:24

it's the top five percent of assholes

1:20:26

from new york chicago and cleveland who

1:20:28

came out here to do something so

1:20:31

you're dealing you know it's like oh

1:20:33

no one talks to each other out

1:20:35

here everyone's on their cell phone everyone's

1:20:37

in their car yeah they didn't come

1:20:39

out here to make friends right So

1:20:42

Canada, I feel like the United States

1:20:44

was a group of guys who want,

1:20:46

I don't, you know, I'm tired of

1:20:48

taxes, or I want my, I farm

1:20:50

my own land, or screw the queen,

1:20:52

or whatever it was, and they came

1:20:55

here to do their own thing, sometimes

1:20:57

with a gun. Whereas Canada is like,

1:20:59

yeah, we're Canadians, we're born here, our

1:21:01

dads were born here, our great-grandparents were

1:21:03

born, where are we going? We got

1:21:06

a curl, we're gonna hang out, too

1:21:08

cold to kill the kill today. Right,

1:21:10

I think that's what happened. Because they

1:21:12

had the same queen and the king

1:21:14

of England. They didn't have a revolution.

1:21:16

They just waited them out. They figured

1:21:19

the British would get cold enough sooner

1:21:21

or later and just leave. And essentially

1:21:23

that's what they did. They just got

1:21:25

tired of Canada or too bored, maybe.

1:21:27

Yes, so the mentality of the group,

1:21:30

like this country... But what you're saying

1:21:32

is that Los Angeles is kind of

1:21:34

like one of those fly strips that

1:21:36

you hang, that just kind of, that

1:21:38

it just attracts the assholes of... I

1:21:40

would prefer to think of it as

1:21:43

the Roach Motel, but I do get

1:21:45

your no-pass strip, right? So it attracts

1:21:47

the assholes from various parts of America.

1:21:49

Right. They come here, thinking they're going

1:21:51

to make it big. Right. And now

1:21:54

they're pissed off that they're serving you

1:21:56

a lot day or... what or fill

1:21:58

in the blank driving a town car

1:22:00

whatever it is right their cool bodies

1:22:02

are back in chicago rooting on the

1:22:04

bears having a brought Oh, he's in

1:22:07

a beer, relaxing. Those guys are cool.

1:22:09

Right. These guys came out here to

1:22:11

do something and they don't have time

1:22:13

for your ass. That's, that's my, that's

1:22:15

my little snapshot. Where are you from?

1:22:18

I'm from LA. Oh, you are. I

1:22:20

have to deal with the influx of

1:22:22

asswipes. Right. Your whole life. You worked,

1:22:24

your dad worked at the plant, right?

1:22:26

Yes, he made AC spark plugs. Oh,

1:22:29

we're crazy, Delco, huh? Yeah. I was

1:22:31

thinking on the ride here, most guys

1:22:33

who do documentaries for a living aren't

1:22:35

car guys, per se, especially not into

1:22:37

American Muscle. And then I thought, but

1:22:39

wait a minute. Michael's done a lot

1:22:42

of car related, you know, it's from

1:22:44

the motor city. Yeah. Are you a

1:22:46

car guy? Do you like cars? Yeah,

1:22:48

I'm not, yes. I think anybody grows

1:22:50

up in that environment is, but it's

1:22:53

sort of a, when you build them

1:22:55

for a living, or you're living in

1:22:57

a car family, an auto worker family,

1:22:59

it's sort of the same as, you

1:23:01

know, if you're flipping burgers at McDonald's,

1:23:03

you don't really want to eat there.

1:23:06

Yeah, if you work at the Hormel

1:23:08

factory, you don't want a canned hand

1:23:10

that night. You don't have spam that

1:23:12

night. Right, right. So there's a love

1:23:14

hate thing with cars when you build

1:23:17

them, especially in the old days with

1:23:19

general motors and the kind of way

1:23:21

things were structured there. But what I

1:23:23

saw was our dads, these have these

1:23:25

suggestion boxes on the factory floor, and

1:23:27

man, the guys, the guys who worked

1:23:30

in the factory were constantly, because they

1:23:32

actually drove the cars. Right. And they

1:23:34

would, as things went on, especially into

1:23:36

the 70s, and Jim, really started building

1:23:38

some crap. Sure. And they would put

1:23:41

all these suggestions in about, you know,

1:23:43

no, don't do this, don't do that.

1:23:45

When are we going to try front

1:23:47

wheel drive? sure. Just really basic things.

1:23:49

And they wouldn't listen. They wouldn't listen

1:23:51

to the guys who were actually building

1:23:54

the cars, of how these cars could

1:23:56

be better, how we could compete better

1:23:58

with the Japanese or Germans or what.

1:24:00

And General Motors had this attitude of,

1:24:02

or General Motors. you know, fuck everybody

1:24:05

else. That's just the way it is.

1:24:07

And what that guy say when you

1:24:09

testified in the famous line in front

1:24:11

of Congress, what's good for General Motors

1:24:13

is good for the country. Right. Matt

1:24:15

was their philosophy. So, so yeah, so

1:24:18

the whole car thing is, it is

1:24:20

a sort of a love hate thing.

1:24:22

Where do you think they're at now?

1:24:24

And yeah, and I've... Because obviously GM

1:24:26

is, was, you know, on the top

1:24:29

of the mountain and then they slid

1:24:31

down the mountain quite a bit. Now

1:24:33

I feel like they're making their way

1:24:35

back up toward the top or at

1:24:37

least getting close to it, but there's

1:24:40

a lot of other good car companies.

1:24:42

You know, I've always said this about

1:24:44

any company. uh... you know i i've

1:24:46

been around long enough to remember when

1:24:48

jap when made in japan was a

1:24:50

joke right and i've also been around

1:24:53

long enough to i remember in the

1:24:55

mid eighties if somebody bought an outy

1:24:57

we laugh their ass right and if

1:24:59

somebody you know if some guy pulled

1:25:01

up any used outy in ninety one

1:25:04

i'd be like you idiot right that's

1:25:06

a piece of shit and now it's

1:25:08

like uh... somebody blink their eyes and

1:25:10

everyone looks at outies has a nicest

1:25:12

lineup across the boards from the smallest

1:25:14

three up to the seven or eight

1:25:17

series it's just so we have a

1:25:19

short memory as americans and human beings

1:25:21

i think you start making a good

1:25:23

product we're back in pretty quickly absolutely

1:25:25

right i think i i think most

1:25:28

people would rather buy an america car

1:25:30

but they also only have so much

1:25:32

money these days and they only have

1:25:34

so much time and they can't have

1:25:36

a close personal relationship with mister good

1:25:38

wrench right there visiting him you know

1:25:41

every week you know the the latch

1:25:43

in the glove box doesn't work the

1:25:45

tail out and all these little things

1:25:47

would go wrong constantly with your GM

1:25:49

car and people just got tired of

1:25:52

it right when you buy a Honda

1:25:54

Civic in those days sure and eight

1:25:56

years later you were driving the same

1:25:58

Honda Civic and it's like wow yeah

1:26:00

eight years later you weren't driving the

1:26:02

same GM car so right so they

1:26:05

kind of you know they kind of

1:26:07

screwed themselves but you know but I

1:26:09

grew up in that time where you

1:26:11

know we love cars we love you

1:26:13

know everything happened in the car what

1:26:16

was your first car Well, mine was

1:26:18

a motorcycle, I had a Honda 404,

1:26:20

and then I love cars, but I

1:26:22

was cursed because I worked as a

1:26:24

carpenter my whole life. And when you're

1:26:26

a carpenter, you're two things, you're poor

1:26:29

and you need to drive a truck.

1:26:31

And so I always drove little mini

1:26:33

pickup trucks, and I hate, first off,

1:26:35

it's horrible when you're single to pull

1:26:37

up in a 79 Mazda with a

1:26:40

bench seat. in it and for speed

1:26:42

and window cranks that have been broken

1:26:44

off with ice grips in their place.

1:26:46

That's not exactly a pussy moistener. No,

1:26:48

you're in the loser mobile. You're in

1:26:50

the lumber rack on top and it's

1:26:53

just, it's no chick, it's excited about

1:26:55

it. It's the opposite of a Corvette

1:26:57

or a Ferrari. But the other thing

1:26:59

is is I loved cars but I

1:27:01

needed this truck because you can't carry

1:27:04

a sheet of plywood and a 240

1:27:06

Z. I was screwed and I never

1:27:08

made enough money to really have another

1:27:10

car so I was just sort of

1:27:12

chained in my crappy mini truck until

1:27:15

I eventually made some money in Hollywood

1:27:17

and then I started overcompensating. You want

1:27:19

to sell your car to me today?

1:27:21

I don't, well I have, you know,

1:27:23

I've been that, I've been driving, I

1:27:25

live in Michigan, so I've, and I

1:27:28

have not bought a new car in

1:27:30

seven years. I mean, I've had the

1:27:32

same, when Mercedes bought Chrysler, they started

1:27:34

putting their chassis or their axils or

1:27:36

various pieces of Mercedes would start, would

1:27:39

suddenly appear in some of these Chryslers,

1:27:41

and I got a van. it, it

1:27:43

still works. You got a Chrysler van?

1:27:45

Yeah, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So one

1:27:47

of the... Well, I can take it

1:27:49

for a guy who makes the money

1:27:52

you make. Yeah, but I know it's,

1:27:54

I know. But I enjoy it and

1:27:56

it's, and I carry my equipment in

1:27:58

it and it's stuff, you know, and

1:28:00

it's just a good ride, it rides

1:28:03

high and it's got the smooth, you

1:28:05

know, the vans sometimes don't really have

1:28:07

a smooth ride. Well, do you feel,

1:28:09

do you feel, Michael Moore, Michael Moore?

1:28:11

Do you feel like, somewhat of an

1:28:13

obligation because you're seen as, you know,

1:28:16

the regular guy, you know, sort of

1:28:18

a Joe Six Pack, you know, voice

1:28:20

of the people, you don't want to

1:28:22

pull up in an Aston Martin DBS,

1:28:24

right? So take a picture of that

1:28:27

and start yelling. Oh, geez, I'd love

1:28:29

that actually. Oh, you don't feel like,

1:28:31

you know, once in a while they

1:28:33

get on Al Gore, they're like, oh,

1:28:35

you're talking about incandescent light bulbs, but

1:28:37

look at your mansion. Yeah, what I'm

1:28:40

saying? Yeah, except the difference is that

1:28:42

when you come from the working class,

1:28:44

and if you're able to buy a

1:28:46

car like that, that scene is a

1:28:48

good thing. Right. I mean, the guys

1:28:51

back home, or the guys who, the

1:28:53

few that still have a job in

1:28:55

the factory. i never get any crap

1:28:57

uh... back at home for all you've

1:28:59

made money or you've done this or

1:29:01

that it's like when you come from

1:29:04

that you aspire to get out of

1:29:06

it right as prior to do better

1:29:08

and you cheer anyone on that does

1:29:10

well with it and i'm known as

1:29:12

somebody who's given back considerably in the

1:29:15

state of michigan so yeah well you

1:29:17

know it's you know it but it's

1:29:19

you don't really uh... the only people

1:29:21

that get upset at that you know

1:29:23

who gets upset like if they see

1:29:26

me if i pull a rich white

1:29:28

white Yeah, it's true because the black

1:29:30

community doesn't do that and the Hispanic

1:29:32

community doesn't do that. And anyone who's

1:29:34

been down when they see a guy

1:29:36

Floyd Mayweather Jr. pull up at a

1:29:39

Bentley. They're like right on brother. That's

1:29:41

right. That's right. Who gets upset is

1:29:43

the rich white kid who grew up

1:29:45

with some money, maybe his dad was

1:29:47

a lawyer or was a broker or

1:29:50

whatever. he went to brown or he

1:29:52

went someplace. And then now he's 2530,

1:29:54

35, 40 years old. He ain't making

1:29:56

what dad made. Right. He's pissed off.

1:29:58

And now here comes this working class

1:30:00

fuck from Flint, Michigan, pulling up in

1:30:03

as I did, you know, the guy

1:30:05

that, the publisher brought the, you know,

1:30:07

I'm out here in a. whatever that

1:30:09

is out there big black car sure

1:30:11

and and so they see that and

1:30:14

they get their their piss because they're

1:30:16

jealous or they're just like the the

1:30:18

way the universe was they were taught

1:30:20

the way it was ordered is that

1:30:22

they were the ones with the silver

1:30:24

spoons in their mouths and they were

1:30:27

supposed to have everything and they didn't

1:30:29

get everything and so someone comes along

1:30:31

who has it that's why they they

1:30:33

don't they don't just attack people like

1:30:35

me they do attack they attack in

1:30:38

if all players they attack anybody who

1:30:40

comes from that other the other side

1:30:42

of the tracks who ends up making

1:30:44

a boatload of money that's who's really

1:30:46

pissed off the people over there in

1:30:48

the other side of the tracks when

1:30:51

when one of their own makes a

1:30:53

boatload of money they're like fucking a

1:30:55

right this is like this is No,

1:30:57

it's a new, it's a new breed

1:30:59

of rich guy because I always sort

1:31:02

of kid about that, you know, back

1:31:04

in the day, when you had money,

1:31:06

you know, turn of the century, 20s,

1:31:08

30s, you dressed accordingly. You let people

1:31:10

know. I mean, you wore a top

1:31:12

hat and a monocle. I mean, you

1:31:15

know, checked your pocket watch every 10,

1:31:17

15 seconds to let everyone see that

1:31:19

it was gold. Now there's the Mark

1:31:21

Cuban wealthy. He's wearing flip flops and

1:31:23

cargo shirts. Mark Cuban shops at Old

1:31:26

Navy. Right. Just like every other poor

1:31:28

person does. Right. And then he climbs

1:31:30

under his private jet that says Mavericks

1:31:32

on side of it. But the point

1:31:34

is when he's out. Yeah. He ain't

1:31:36

doing the monocle and top hat. I

1:31:39

don't think I don't know him personally,

1:31:41

but I don't think it's because he's

1:31:43

trying to present an image or trying

1:31:45

to downplay how much he has I

1:31:47

actually think he's comfortable wearing old movie.

1:31:50

He is, but I also think there's

1:31:52

the there's two forms of input society

1:31:54

has. There's one that's sort of direct,

1:31:56

like I can feel this, I'm making

1:31:58

a conscious effort not to be this

1:32:01

way, and then there's a sort of

1:32:03

a slow emulsification, like, where you just

1:32:05

sort of start getting the message that

1:32:07

dressing like a rich guy kind of

1:32:09

makes you an asshole, and it's not

1:32:11

really discussed, but I'll put on the

1:32:14

cargo shorts, they're comfortable, and I won't

1:32:16

get any shit for going out in

1:32:18

a minute way. So let's, let's, let's,

1:32:20

let's, you, you've, you've, you've, from the

1:32:22

Mark Cuban line, it's yours, I guess,

1:32:25

I've been wearing this before, you started

1:32:27

that way, and in a way, now

1:32:29

do you, if it was feel like

1:32:31

it's, it's almost like an outfit, like

1:32:33

if you put on a three-piece suit

1:32:35

and took your hat off, people wouldn't

1:32:38

recognize you. But that's okay too because

1:32:40

I mean I've I've won the Oscar

1:32:42

I won you know an Emmy I

1:32:44

show up in a tuxedo I'm right

1:32:46

again again if you're from the working

1:32:49

class to have a chance to play

1:32:51

dress up for a night or go

1:32:53

to a fancy thing like that it's

1:32:55

like you're it's like a really cool

1:32:57

thing and I remember when I my

1:32:59

first films I would I would you

1:33:02

know you get invited to these red

1:33:04

carpet premieres and all that and you're

1:33:06

supposed to walk down the red carpet,

1:33:08

my wife and I, we do the

1:33:10

walk down the red carpet and then

1:33:13

we would just before going in the

1:33:15

theater we just would stand aside at

1:33:17

the end of the car because we

1:33:19

wanted to watch. What do you want?

1:33:21

Warren Beatty come down the red carpet

1:33:23

with Madonna or whatever. Are your parents

1:33:26

around? My mom passed away about nine

1:33:28

years ago and my dad is so

1:33:30

alive, he just turned 92 weeks ago.

1:33:32

Wow. And so, you know, whenever somebody

1:33:34

comes from the wrong side of the

1:33:37