0:00

Start your business for the

0:02

freedom of time Now you're

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tired of the hustle and

0:07

grind There's gotta be a

0:09

better way It's time to

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listen to Chill and Prosper

0:13

Welcome to Chill and Prosper

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You're ready to chill and

0:18

prosper With Denise Duffield Thomas

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Hey, hey, hey, it's Denise DT

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here and welcome to another episode of

0:24

Chill and Prosper Today's episode

0:26

is going to be about retreats. Now,

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I have done other podcast episodes about,

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you know, should you run retreats yourself?

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Should you run events and some of

0:35

my tips about how to make that

0:37

easier? But today's episode is

0:39

about you going on a retreat and

0:41

you might think you know what that

0:44

means or you might have a specific

0:46

idea in your head about what that

0:48

is and you might have excuses about

0:50

it, but I've

0:52

just come back from a retreat. Well,

0:55

I've done a few this year and

0:57

there are so many different types of

1:00

retreats. So by the end of this

1:02

episode, I want to inspire you to

1:04

take some time out for yourself, for

1:06

your business or for whatever you need

1:09

and to actually book something. And

1:11

I'm going to ask you to be accountable on this,

1:13

right? So I'm going to ask you to, once

1:16

you've listened to the episode, Go

1:18

take some action and then let

1:20

me know what you did. So

1:22

you can either DM me, you can always

1:24

DM me, but what I prefer is if

1:26

you find my social media where you've found

1:28

out about the podcast, so it might be

1:30

my Instagram, which is at DeniseDT or it

1:32

could have been my Twitter or whatever, respond

1:35

to it in the comments and

1:37

tell me what you have done.

1:40

Because yes, you might have excuses

1:42

about time or money, but as

1:44

you'll see by the end of

1:46

the episode, there's so many different

1:48

ways to have a retreat that

1:50

that hopefully there'll be no excuses

1:52

and you'll just listen to the Virgo

1:54

and know that I'm always right and

1:56

just do the thing, okay? So I've

1:58

just got back from a mummy daughter

2:01

retreat and I love going on

2:03

these. They're run by some beautiful

2:05

people, Amy and Sonya. And I've

2:07

also been on several retreats with

2:09

them. I've been on a women's

2:12

retreat and I also earlier in

2:14

the year went to a mummy

2:16

son retreat. And what

2:18

I love about this particular retreat

2:20

with the mummy daughter one is

2:22

it reminds me of being like

2:25

a teenager and having sleepovers

2:27

with my best friends and

2:30

We do dancing, we make up dances,

2:32

we have fashion show, we do a

2:34

clothes swap party and it really is

2:36

a chance for mums and daughters to

2:38

have this joyous experience together. The mums

2:41

and sons one was also great but

2:43

very different in energy and what I

2:45

loved is seeing all of these mums

2:47

who we all came in, we're all

2:49

tired, it's a Friday afternoon, we're there

2:52

till Sunday, everyone's exhausted and just like

2:54

the work of getting To

2:56

a place right and then by the end

2:58

of it i could see every single person

3:00

and their teenage self and i could see

3:02

them almost at a slumber party with me

3:05

going wow that was like my friend you

3:07

know jenny that's like my friend pauline and

3:09

everyone looked younger you know and so that's

3:11

the value of being in retreat but as

3:13

we were learning the dance to um the

3:15

mum's learner dance and the girl's learner dance

3:17

and then we performed for each other i

3:19

kept on thinking about this episode and i

3:22

kept on. running away, grabbing my phone, which

3:24

I totally shouldn't have had a retreat, to

3:26

add in all these different points about the

3:28

value of going on retreats. So

3:30

here they are in no particular order. Now, a

3:32

lot of the mums there, none of us really

3:35

knew what each other did, but there were a

3:37

couple of mums there who are

3:39

in a space of service to other people.

3:41

So they might have been a consultant themselves

3:43

or they run retreats or they run events

3:45

for other people. And a lot of us

3:47

talked about the fact that if you do

3:49

hold space for other people, how nice it

3:51

is for somebody to hold space for you.

3:54

And this is true no matter what

3:56

you do. You know, you might be

3:58

a busy parent and you need space

4:00

held for you. You need somebody to cook

4:02

for you and feed you. You might be

4:04

someone who is a carer. and you need

4:06

that. You might be someone who is a

4:09

great volunteer in your community and you're always

4:11

showing up and serving other people. Or

4:14

you might be someone who just is

4:16

always in charge and always having to

4:18

make decisions and being somewhere where they're

4:20

like, you know, this is where

4:22

you go when we ring a bell and you

4:24

go and eat some food. Having

4:26

the decisions taken away from you

4:28

can be extremely liberating in that

4:31

way. Also,

4:33

I think too, there's something

4:35

there sometimes about surrender. Okay,

4:38

so sometimes you'll go on a retreat where it's

4:40

not up to your higher standards. You know, and

4:42

I go on retreats all the time where it's

4:44

not super fancy, it's not super high -end, it's

4:46

not very luxurious. And there's a

4:48

chance in there to surrender and just kind

4:50

of relax and just go, it's not perfect and

4:53

I'm going to surrender to that. On

4:55

the flip side of it, sometimes when you push yourself and

4:57

take yourself out of your comfort zone and maybe you go

4:59

on a retreat that is a little bit more high -end,

5:01

a little bit more luxurious, that

5:03

is a chance to raise your

5:05

standards as well and to see

5:08

what's possible for you. either

5:10

for your life or for the events that

5:13

you run yourself. A

5:15

couple of years ago, I went to Richard Branson's

5:17

private island, which is called Necker Island, right? It's

5:19

a very expensive thing to go to and you

5:21

can rent out the whole island, which is what

5:23

my friend Natalie McNeil did and invited a bunch

5:25

of us to go. And

5:27

what I got out of that

5:30

retreat, it was very, it's very

5:32

relaxed, relaxed luxury, right? And

5:34

nothing is too hard. It's like, oh, you need

5:36

this, you want that, we'll make it happen for

5:39

you. And I wanted to bring

5:41

that experience back to my retreats that I

5:43

run at my Rose Farm and really raise

5:45

the standard of just ease and possibility. So

5:48

that's what you can get sometimes out

5:50

of going away. Even if it's not

5:53

up to your standard, sometimes that's a

5:55

great lesson. If you are made to

5:57

feel in a particular way, that's a great

5:59

lesson too, to think, oh, I don't want

6:01

anyone to feel that. I don't want anyone

6:04

to feel left out. I don't want anyone

6:06

to feel like they're not getting their value

6:08

out of it. Another

6:11

amazing thing I think for retreats too

6:13

is to be able to access different

6:15

information, different points of view, not just

6:17

from other people on the retreat, which

6:19

I always get and I'll talk about

6:21

in a sec, but to

6:23

be able to access your mentors, access

6:26

people that you look up to in

6:28

a relaxed, real way. And

6:31

this can be invaluable because sometimes they

6:33

can just say something or be in

6:35

some way that will change the way

6:38

you see things. I

6:40

remember when I was like super pregnant

6:42

with my second baby and I went

6:44

to just a two day private event

6:46

with Ali Brown, someone I looked up

6:48

to since I started my business. And

6:51

I went there with just this question on my

6:54

mind of how am I going to make this

6:56

work? Having two kids. I don't want to have

6:58

a big team. I don't want to hustle. How

7:00

am I going to do this? And

7:02

Ali had had twins a couple of years before.

7:04

She'd always had a very big successful business. And

7:06

once she had her twins, she did want to

7:08

simplify her business. And she said one thing in

7:10

that room. And actually, you know, the agenda, was

7:12

like, yeah, I don't really need a lot of

7:14

this right now. It's not really particularly, you know,

7:16

relevant to me or where I'm going right this

7:18

moment. But she said,

7:21

I've downsized my team because I don't

7:23

have the bandwidth for it at the moment

7:25

and I'm running a big, still multi -million

7:27

dollar business with just a couple of assistants.

7:30

You know what? That was worth the

7:32

price of admission for me because it was

7:35

permission, someone who was

7:37

just a couple of meters away from me,

7:39

permission in a really real way to do

7:41

what I wanted to do. I

7:44

love being able to just sit and

7:46

have coffee with somebody that I'd looked

7:48

up to. And sometimes actually that's a

7:51

bit of a weird thing for me.

7:53

I went on a retreat to Fiji

7:55

and Elizabeth Gilbert was the keynote speaker

7:58

for that. And it's those retreats run

8:00

by Liesl who ultimate girls trip away.

8:03

I don't think I got that name exactly right,

8:05

but Lies just was just hanging out and having

8:07

breakfast with people and going into the ocean with

8:09

people. And I was too shy to really Experience

8:13

that, you know, and so

8:15

I was a little bit of a missed

8:17

opportunity there, but this is where you can

8:20

get to know people in a really real

8:22

way. I often have people ask me

8:24

like, well, how do you make business besties? How do

8:26

you make business friends? How do you find your community?

8:29

And you go to events, you

8:32

go to conferences, you go

8:34

to retreats. And what I

8:36

notice about those things is

8:38

you start to normalize. those

8:41

conversations about success, about

8:43

money, but not just

8:45

about those things, about

8:47

health. A lot

8:49

of my business peers and

8:51

mentors are going through health

8:53

challenges, perimenopause, menopause,

8:55

being diagnosed with various

8:58

things. As

9:00

we all get older, there'll be things that

9:02

we'll have to deal with health -wise. People's

9:05

marriages, all of those things that

9:07

we can be around like -minded

9:10

people and have real conversations and

9:12

to understand that we can handle

9:14

those things. But also,

9:16

you get practical tips too. Someone's like,

9:19

oh, try my doctor. Oh, have you

9:21

tried this vitamin? Oh, do you know

9:23

about this? I don't know, course or

9:25

book. And you distill that information and

9:27

you get what you need from real

9:30

people. The other thing

9:32

that I get from that

9:34

is sometimes when you're

9:36

in your business and you're just

9:38

in it, you think that's the

9:40

industry or, you know, like,

9:43

okay, this is my fishbowl.

9:45

And without a doubt, every time I

9:47

go to a small retreat or a

9:49

small event, someone will say, oh, are

9:51

you guys following blah, blah, blah, blah,

9:53

blah person. Even when I was hanging

9:56

out with my sister -in -law recently, she's like, oh,

9:58

do you follow her? She's like Australia's most famous influencer.

10:00

She's got like 15 million followers

10:02

or something. I was like, never

10:04

heard of her. Like not

10:06

even once have I heard of her. And this is

10:08

what happens at retreats. And someone will go, this person's

10:10

making so much money. Oh, do you see that? And

10:12

I'm like, never heard of them. And

10:15

it reminds me that there are so many people

10:17

out there who have never heard of my work.

10:19

that I think, oh, everyone's heard this

10:21

now. Like, I don't need to stop

10:24

banging on about it. No, there are

10:26

so many people. And that's the value

10:28

of being around other people who are

10:30

in similar spaces, but maybe different industries.

10:33

Okay. So when you think, okay,

10:35

what kind of retreat do I want

10:37

to go on? This is where it

10:39

gets really fun, right? Because it's not

10:41

just all about business retreats. It's not

10:43

just all about yoga retreats. I want

10:45

you to sit and think, what do

10:47

I really need right now? Do

10:49

I need, for example, connection and

10:52

friendship? Do I need to be around other

10:54

people who are in the arena as me,

10:56

same as arena as me? Do I need

10:58

to be around people who are in the

11:00

same life phase as me? People who

11:02

are similar age to me? People

11:04

who are a similar mindset to

11:06

me? Do I want to be around

11:08

people who earn more than me? Are

11:11

you looking for business besties? Or

11:14

are you looking for accountability? Because that can be

11:16

a very different kind of retreat too. My

11:19

friend Tash Corbyn, she runs like implementation

11:21

retreats and it's like we're going to

11:23

get stuff done. So you might

11:25

go, you know what? I've been procrastinating on writing my

11:28

book. I'm going to go on a retreat where we

11:30

write our books. So accountability

11:32

is a very different energy. You might not

11:34

need that right now. And actually I don't

11:36

need that in my life right now. I'm

11:38

in a slightly different phase. Oh, I think

11:40

I'll need that next year because I think

11:42

I need to get back into business next

11:44

year. Do you need to go and get

11:46

information? So do you

11:48

need to go more of like a conference type

11:51

thing? Do you

11:53

need strategy? Do

11:55

you need to be in an intimate space

11:58

or a bigger space? And that can change

12:00

too. So often I'll run like a, I

12:02

might run a VIP day with say 10

12:04

to 15 people. Some people

12:06

that might be just intimate enough.

12:09

Other people might be like, no, no,

12:11

I actually need more attention than that. I

12:14

need more, I need a

12:16

specific strategy. I need to know how to

12:18

do a particular thing. So rather than go

12:21

to a general like get stuff done, you

12:23

might go again, I need to write my

12:25

book. I need to do my social media

12:27

batching. I need to do something very, very

12:29

specific. So sometimes you

12:31

need information. Sometimes you do not

12:33

need information. Sometimes you need inner

12:35

healing. Sometimes you

12:38

need physical work.

12:41

You know, and so I've been on retreats

12:43

where, you know, I'm a

12:45

very brain businessy kind of

12:47

focused person. I went on

12:49

a goddess retreat and run

12:51

by Julian Sora who run

12:53

beautiful goddess retreats. And I

12:55

was like, I

12:57

don't need this for my business. I

13:00

just need some spaciousness. I

13:02

need to access some different parts of my personality.

13:05

I want to access some of my, you know,

13:07

feminine wisdom and I want to be around other

13:09

people talking about that. Sometimes that

13:11

would annoy you. You don't need that. Sometimes

13:14

you need to go to a space to

13:17

make a decision. And

13:19

I often find that with my retreats, I'll

13:21

say to people, you know, I'm not really

13:23

going to give you a lot of information

13:25

and strategy because people come here because they

13:27

need to make a decision. And sometimes

13:29

you already know what that is. You

13:31

just haven't had the spaciousness for the

13:34

answer to drop in yet. And

13:36

sometimes you hear that information on

13:40

the way there. I know I often do,

13:42

I'll be on the plane and I'll be

13:44

like, oh, okay, the answer's kind of already

13:46

here. By the time I get to the

13:48

retreat, I'm going, great, I'm good, thanks guys,

13:51

I'll just enjoy this now. Sometimes you get

13:53

it on in the space, sometimes you get

13:55

it on the way home and sometimes you

13:57

don't see it for months after. And actually

13:59

I've gotten two messages from people who've come

14:01

to one of my Rose Farm retreats a couple

14:03

of years ago and they were like, I made

14:06

the intention to write my book and one of

14:08

those people's Emma Lovell and she just launched her

14:10

book. I had nothing to do

14:12

with that, but she made a decision at

14:14

the retreat. She did the work

14:16

after the retreat. She didn't even really

14:18

quite know what that book was going to be

14:21

about, but she made the decision there. All

14:23

right, so let's take a quick break. Oh, this

14:25

might sound like an ad for my retreats too,

14:28

by the way, which I don't even know if

14:30

I'm running them in the next year. So

14:33

it's not so you can relax about that, but

14:35

I've got so many more tips for you after

14:37

this quick break about just getting straight in your

14:40

head. What do you need next? So I hope

14:42

that's already starting to percolate and let's get you

14:44

really excited and get into action and get rid

14:46

of some of your excuses around it. See

14:49

you a sec. Hi,

14:51

my name is Alejandra Zacci. I am

14:53

a mindset coach. I live in the

14:55

Pacific Northwest in the US and I

14:57

am originally from Argentina. I

15:00

joined Money Bootcamp at the

15:02

beginning of 2020 and it's

15:04

been an incredible last three

15:06

years listening to podcasts and

15:09

reading books and also joined

15:11

Sacred Money archetypes and I'm

15:13

a big fan of Denise

15:15

and she has helped me

15:18

really break through money blogs,

15:21

listen to the stories

15:23

that I kept repeating myself about

15:25

why I wasn't making money or

15:27

why I kept looping

15:30

into savings, famine

15:32

and feast. And

15:35

I've recommended Denise to every single one of

15:37

my friends. I would talk about

15:40

her to anybody that is willing to listen for

15:42

that matter. Thank you,

15:44

Denise. It's been wonderful. And

15:47

I would recommend you to anybody and

15:49

everybody. Okay,

15:52

welcome back. So we're talking about retreats, okay? So I

15:54

just said before the break about sometimes you go because

15:56

you want to make a decision. And

15:58

I find that's valid,

16:01

but also you don't have

16:03

to go with any particular

16:05

vision. I went on a

16:07

retreat recently. It was a peer -led retreat,

16:09

which meant that a group of my business

16:12

friends, we just said, hey, let's get together

16:14

in a particular place and we can just

16:16

brainstorm and give each other feedback. And

16:19

so we went to the Gold Coast, everyone

16:21

booked their own rooms, and we decided just

16:23

to master mine in one of the rooms.

16:26

And it was no big deal,

16:28

no massive agenda, anything like that.

16:30

And I actually went with zero

16:33

expectation. I just

16:35

went, I'm not really in a business space

16:37

at the moment, so I don't really have

16:39

a big question in my mind. And I

16:41

got so much out of that retreat because

16:43

I was just really open. I was open

16:45

to it. Sometimes

16:48

with that too, again, you see

16:51

what's possible. You see what other

16:53

people are talking about. Sometimes

16:55

you'll see what's just kind of happening in your industry

16:57

if people are in a similar industry, but also sometimes

16:59

it sparks off ideas for me. I go, oh, wow,

17:02

look at what these people are talking about. I'll give

17:04

you an example of this. So I

17:06

was on a retreat with one of my

17:08

friends, Claire Wood, who she does very similar

17:10

stuff to me in lots of ways. She

17:12

does money and she's more of like, you

17:14

know, from that accountant and profit kind of

17:16

background. But we were talking

17:18

about like aspirational marketing. And I

17:20

was saying, oh, I don't often share

17:23

stuff like that at the moment. I felt

17:25

a bit awkward about it. And she was

17:27

saying, oh, God, I love seeing it inspires

17:29

me so much. And just her

17:31

saying that, I was like, oh, that's

17:34

why I used to do it because I was

17:37

so inspired by seeing it. And I've dropped off

17:39

a little bit thinking, oh, people are going to

17:41

think I'm bragging, forgetting that there are people who

17:43

need to see those things. Okay,

17:45

so just sometimes seeing what's possible, cross

17:49

-pollination of

17:51

ideas. Someone

17:53

going, oh, yes, that's great, but have you thought

17:56

of this as well? Getting feedback

17:58

and advice. And I remember

18:00

being at a retreat and someone was like,

18:02

here's my idea. And everyone in the room

18:04

was kind of like, no, babe, that doesn't

18:06

feel like a good fit for you. And

18:09

at first she was a little bit defensive. But

18:11

we could all kind of see it so clearly

18:13

and we're like, I think you want to do

18:15

this. And it was just like, oh yeah, okay,

18:18

you're right. And sometimes

18:20

we can just be in our own

18:22

little world sometimes and not have that

18:24

feedback. So you might have

18:26

heard already, like I'm talking about lots of

18:29

different ways that you can go on retreat.

18:31

So you can just go, you know, some

18:33

of your business mentors might offer, like

18:36

here's my retreat, okay, here's my thing. But

18:39

don't feel like it has to be a big,

18:41

big deal. Sometimes you're not

18:43

in the phase of life or money

18:45

or just time or energy to go

18:47

and do a big thing. I

18:49

decided in the last year that

18:52

I didn't want to travel overseas

18:54

as much because being in Australia,

18:56

if I go to Europe, if

18:58

I go to America, it's

19:00

a whole day of travel, like literally just...

19:02

on planes just one day of travel let

19:05

alone all of the recovery time so going

19:07

to even a five day six day retreat

19:09

even a three day retreat for me is

19:11

like two weeks away from home so it's

19:14

just not what i want to do at

19:16

the moment so i went okay i'm

19:18

only just going to go to retreat

19:20

so just within a couple of hours

19:22

from me and also i prefer going

19:25

on midweek retreats rather than weekend retreats

19:27

That's, you know, family time as

19:29

much as possible. I really

19:31

like peer -led retreats of people who

19:33

were at similar stages to me. I

19:35

quite like the relaxed ones. However,

19:38

I do like going on ones

19:41

that are out of my zone

19:43

of genius, out of my expertise, as

19:45

I said, like a goddess retreat or a yoga retreat

19:47

or the mummy retreat. And I love that someone else

19:49

has just organized that. I don't like

19:52

to be the organizer so much. And

19:54

I actually did organize a peer one,

19:56

so you know that I run retreats

19:58

sometimes at the farm, a couple times

20:00

a year. But I did offer

20:02

to run a peer -led retreat.

20:05

And so with those peer -led ones, it's, you

20:07

know, everyone kind of puts in a bit of

20:09

money, but it's not a profit -making enterprise. And

20:11

I was just sitting there the whole time. I

20:14

was not present because I was in charge. And

20:17

even though I put enough money in the budget

20:19

for someone to come and help us, I was

20:21

still sitting there thinking, okay, what time's the caterer

20:24

coming? Okay, oh, I need to make

20:26

sure everyone's got sunscreen on because they're half of them

20:28

are from Europe and they won't be used to the

20:30

Australian sun. Okay, everyone line up, let me spray you

20:32

with sunscreen. And it was not relaxing for me. So

20:34

I was like, I don't like to be in charge.

20:36

I don't like to wrangle people. So

20:38

that's what I want to do, right? But

20:41

you might decide to literally just

20:43

do a one day retreat. Again,

20:46

my friend Tash Corbin, she often

20:48

does solo retreats. She'll go

20:50

hire a hotel room. But

20:53

again, if the funds aren't there, you can ask

20:55

someone, you could house sit for somebody. You

20:58

know, even just going, sitting in a

21:00

coffee shop or a nice hotel for

21:02

the day that you're not even staying there. I

21:07

think that probably wouldn't work for me. I don't

21:09

think I'd have the discipline not to sit and

21:11

scroll on my phone, but Tash has a real

21:13

agenda. She has someone sometimes to come in and

21:16

give her a massage. She plans it, so it's

21:18

this beautiful, beautiful thing. You

21:21

might, again, just pull together a couple of friends and

21:23

say, hey, let's do this together. Like

21:26

I like the ones again where no one's

21:28

responsible for anyone else. So it's like everyone

21:31

just, you know, book your own room and

21:33

we'll just gather in this one particular place.

21:35

You might decide that you want something that's

21:37

quite structured and formal. You might decide you

21:40

want something that's very, very loose, whatever it

21:42

is. You know, you might decide it's time

21:44

for you to, um, I

21:47

don't know, like learn a particular new skill

21:49

that is. Like a very

21:51

strategic thing. You're like, okay, I'm gonna go into

21:53

a certification or I'm gonna go do and learn

21:56

this one particular thing or you might just go

21:58

I actually just need spaciousness and I actually

22:00

think that sometimes those retreats

22:02

become a bit of a

22:05

portal and New ideas drop

22:07

in and I actually also if you

22:09

are going away, I always recommend trying

22:11

it have a day on the

22:13

other side where you do

22:16

nothing because that's where sometimes the processing

22:18

comes. And I actually

22:20

do cry after retreats often

22:22

because I feel like I've

22:24

released something. I'm never the

22:27

same in some way. I've

22:29

made a decision and sometimes

22:31

I'm mourning a little bit of an old life or

22:34

it's a bit of a portal. And definitely

22:36

when I'm flying to a retreat, even if

22:38

it's only an hour or so, I feel

22:40

like I'm a changed person when I'm there.

22:42

It's really, really interesting how

22:45

that works. I also

22:47

think too, one

22:50

lesson I learned on one

22:52

of my coaches, AJ, she ran

22:54

a retreat where there was like

22:56

a personal challenge involved in it where

22:58

we had to, you didn't have

23:00

to go through like this really,

23:02

really tight rock. And a few

23:04

of the women on the retreat went through it and it

23:06

was like this massive, big transformational experience for them because halfway

23:08

through, you think you're going to get stuck and they just

23:10

kept on going. And they were like, yeah, do it, do

23:12

it. And I was like, actually, I don't

23:15

feel like doing that at the moment. I

23:17

don't want to get out of my comfort

23:19

zone in that particular way. Similarly,

23:21

I've been on retreats where there's been

23:23

like ice baths. And sometimes I'll be like,

23:25

okay, I'm going to challenge myself to do that. Other times

23:27

I go, I'm actually going to choose not to. And

23:30

there's a real lesson in that sometimes too, right,

23:32

of going I'm not going to go to all

23:34

the events. I'm not going to get FOMO. And

23:37

the person who does this incredibly well, I've been

23:39

on several retreats with her and she runs them

23:41

as well is my friend Tammy Guest. I've

23:43

been on retreats with her where she's like, ah, I'm just

23:45

not going to, I'm not just not going to go to

23:47

that, that workshop. And

23:49

at first I was like, oh

23:52

my God, you're so naughty. are

23:54

you allowed to do that? But that's

23:56

her whole thing. She's a maverick, right?

23:58

And she wants to go and honor

24:00

what she needs. And

24:03

so same with on the goddess retreat, Julie Parker

24:05

was like, go have an app. We've got a

24:07

two hour window. Go have an app. And I

24:09

was like, what? What

24:12

do you mean? Go have an app, go read

24:14

a book. And to choose what you need out

24:16

of a retreat and to say, I'm going to

24:18

honor my need to sleep in right now, or

24:20

I'm going to honor my need to stay up

24:22

and talk to my friend, you

24:25

know, about life and business.

24:27

You can be unattached. And

24:30

you get the lesson you need. So sometimes

24:32

the lesson is to surrender. Sometimes

24:35

the lesson is to receive. And

24:38

that's the tricky thing for me. Sometimes

24:40

I love being helpful. And

24:42

I mean, I totally didn't mind on the on

24:44

the mummy daughter retreat. I was like, I'm going

24:46

to help clear up. I'm going to help. you

24:49

know, reset the room, I'm gonna be

24:51

the one who takes back mugs to

24:53

be of service to this space. Not

24:55

because I couldn't receive someone doing it

24:57

for me, because everyone kind of shifts

24:59

and flows and sometimes someone will do

25:01

it for you, sometimes you'll do it

25:03

for someone else, but to really be

25:05

of service in a very unattached way,

25:08

because it was like, oh, it feels so good

25:10

to not be in charge. It

25:12

felt so nice to not be in charge. I'm

25:14

like, I can put back some mugs, because I'm

25:16

not responsible for this. It felt really, really good.

25:19

One of the things actually that was beautiful

25:21

on the mummy daughter retreat too is that

25:23

when we performed for each other and Amy

25:26

who was teaching the dance, it was kind

25:28

of like a really wild free dance. And

25:30

she was like, show your daughters that you

25:32

can be wild and free. And

25:35

it just felt so good to

25:37

do that. And so if you

25:39

do have children and the idea

25:41

of going away feels really hard

25:43

and you apologize to them, you

25:45

know, just Like, really subsite, you

25:47

know... I love going away. I love,

25:50

this is what I'm gonna do. I'm so

25:52

excited about it. I'm gonna send you photos

25:54

and when I get back, I'll tell you

25:56

all about it to show them that you

25:58

do things for you. You might not have

26:00

kids, but you also want to show your clients.

26:02

You know, if you run retreats, if

26:04

you run events or conferences, but you

26:07

never go yourself, you don't know what

26:09

it feels like for your clients to

26:11

take the time, take the money away

26:13

from their life and invest in something.

26:15

And so for you to invest in yourself,

26:18

and give yourself the gift

26:20

of time and space and

26:23

spaciousness is amazing. It's

26:25

being a leader, it's showing people that you walk

26:27

your talk. If you are

26:29

worried about the money, as I said, there's a few

26:31

different ways you can do shorter retreats, you can do

26:34

the peer -lead ones. How I used

26:36

to always fund myself going on events is

26:38

that I would run something while I was

26:40

there. I don't always like

26:42

to do that now because I don't have to

26:44

do it financially and I want to give myself

26:46

the space but you know if I want to

26:48

go something I used to just say great I'm

26:50

gonna be in this city does anyone want a

26:52

VIP day anyone want a group group event and

26:55

actually I did this a year or two years

26:57

ago probably almost now when I wanted to go

26:59

to Broadway con in New York and I felt

27:01

like I just couldn't justify going just for myself

27:03

because you know I was like I like to

27:05

fly business class and I was like am I

27:07

really gonna spend all this money just to go

27:09

to a Broadway You know thing

27:11

which was amazing by the way and so

27:13

I was like okay I'm gonna run a

27:16

one -day event and it sold out so

27:18

I ran another one and so I had

27:20

to do two days of work and It

27:22

you know more than funded my my trip

27:24

and a friend's trip. She came and helped

27:26

me and it was like oh That's how

27:28

I funded it and then I was there

27:30

kind of you know guilt -free which I

27:32

could have done anyway But it's still you

27:34

know feels guilty sometimes for me. So I

27:36

totally I totally get that So

27:39

if you're holding space for others, you do

27:41

need to create space for yourself, right? It

27:44

can help you to reconnect to your purpose.

27:46

It can get you back in the game.

27:48

It can get you back in the mindset.

27:50

It can also be just good old fashioned

27:52

networking. Sometimes you might find clients there and

27:54

you can kind of justify that to be

27:56

like, okay, if I only get one client

27:58

out of this, then it's worth it. And

28:01

you'll see that you think sometimes that these,

28:03

these cool kids clubs that you're not a

28:05

part of. Oh, that person's promoting that person.

28:07

They're doing it probably because they know each

28:09

other personally. They've met at an event. They've

28:11

met at a retreat. They've developed those close

28:13

relationships by being in the room together. You

28:17

know, and you have to put yourself there

28:20

sometimes. You do have to put yourself. And

28:22

I remember very at the start when I

28:24

joined Marie Folio's B School, a group of

28:27

us were just like, Hey, is anyone in

28:29

the same town? Do you want to meet

28:31

up? for a couple of hours and we'll

28:33

go through the material together. That's

28:35

a similar thing. And then that's how

28:37

you develop those relationships with people. Another

28:41

couple of things, just some random things from

28:43

my list here is sometimes to sharing your

28:45

expertise with others in a setting like that

28:47

reminds you how good you are at things.

28:51

You can have a bit of a

28:53

halo effect. Sometimes so halo effect

28:55

is other people seeing you and going oh,

28:57

that's you know, you're so cool So sometimes

28:59

being around mentors being around other people can

29:01

kind of give you that sense for your

29:03

clients of like oh wow They're like they're

29:05

doing something look who they know and that

29:07

might not be important to you But it

29:10

is like a kind of a cool thing

29:12

to be like oh look who you know

29:14

look who they Are you know friends with

29:16

or networking with I've gotten speaking gigs out

29:18

of that because then people know me they

29:20

want to hire me And

29:24

I've also been able to add things onto

29:27

the retreats like photo shoots. One

29:29

of the Peeled ones I went on recently,

29:31

we did a group photo shoot where we

29:33

all got our own individual photos. But in

29:35

the meantime, we were like doing content for

29:37

each other. Like, hey, you look so beautiful

29:40

right now. Let me ask you a question

29:42

and I'll film it for you and you

29:44

can just use that. And

29:46

that's so cool to be able to do that

29:49

together. Sometimes

29:51

I'll go on retreats to get work done

29:53

as well. I know this sounds so funny,

29:55

but I get so much work done at

29:58

airports. So much work done

30:00

at airports because I've got a plane to catch and I've got

30:02

a deadline and so I get a lot of work done there.

30:05

And then sometimes even if the retreat's

30:07

not about what I'm doing, the body

30:09

doubling of being around other people just

30:11

kind of makes you just do stuff.

30:13

It's really cool. What

30:15

I say, normalised success talking about money, yes,

30:17

I've got that one, creating content, touching bases

30:19

with people, showing the real

30:22

you as well. Sometimes you

30:24

can go to retreats and be a sponsor

30:26

or sell books or products, if it's like

30:28

even more of a conference, sparking

30:30

ideas, I've kind of said that. Being

30:33

away from you day to day activates your brain

30:35

in a different way. I think. Because a lot

30:37

of the questions you have in your mind at

30:39

the moment about what should I do, what direction,

30:42

you kind of already know the answers but

30:44

you haven't had the spaciousness. And so sometimes

30:46

just being away, being in a different environment,

30:48

being in a different space, you do see

30:50

things in a different light. You get some

30:53

perspective. Sometimes you get some rest. I

30:55

always have really good intentions of sleeping in when I

30:57

go to a treat and I end up staying up

30:59

really late chatting to people. And that's

31:02

perfect as well. I'll get home and Mark will

31:04

be like, I've had the kids now. Your

31:06

turn. I'm like, I need to recover from my retreat.

31:10

It's fun to go on ones and do

31:12

things that you wouldn't normally do, like getting

31:14

a massage or a facial or, I

31:17

don't know, Jen Kim, one of my friends

31:19

on her retreat, she takes people to do

31:21

some high -end shopping, something that they wouldn't

31:23

normally do, taking them out of their comfort

31:25

zone to do something that's really special and

31:27

fabulous. You

31:29

know, to have fun, dress up, be silly, Be

31:32

the best version of yourself, but also

31:34

activate a different version of yourself. You

31:37

know, I am a ruler, which means

31:40

in money archetypes, which means I'm always

31:42

about business and ideas. But sometimes I

31:44

can get away and activate a different

31:46

part of my archetype. I can activate

31:48

my alchemist, which is more about ideas

31:51

and possibilities. I can activate my connector,

31:53

which is about connecting with other people.

31:57

My celebrity. Yeah,

32:00

it can just be really fun to

32:02

be vulnerable like that and let things

32:04

bubble up in a different way. So

32:07

my whole point of this is

32:09

there's so many different types of

32:11

retreats. There's different price points to

32:13

suit your budget and your preferences.

32:15

You can do short, long, weekends,

32:17

midweek, weekends, big, intimate. party,

32:20

not party, like -minded different

32:22

people, going with friends, going alone. Don't

32:24

put pressure on yourself to have this

32:27

perfect experience. You know, I think a

32:29

couple of times a year, something

32:31

is great. You

32:34

know, something is great because not each

32:36

one will completely change your life. Each

32:38

one will just add something. It

32:41

will add something new, give you

32:43

a new perspective and That's

32:45

where we grow and change and we get

32:47

out of that stagnation. Okay, so I want

32:50

to hear from you as I said at

32:52

the start of this call of this podcast.

32:55

What's your idea? What's something that's been on your list

32:57

for a little while? Put it

32:59

in the comments. Go to my Instagram at

33:01

Denise DT or my Facebook page or my

33:03

Twitter. Respond to where I've sent

33:05

out a message about this podcast episode and tell

33:08

me what you want to do. You

33:10

know, and yes, you can have excuses, time,

33:12

money, all these things and There are solutions

33:14

for all of them. And you know what?

33:16

I'll tell you one of the best things

33:18

I started doing last year is I started

33:21

going to the sauna for a 45 minute

33:23

sauna and I would take a bag of

33:25

all those tools and potions that I buy

33:27

all the time like hammers and face masks

33:29

and foot masks and all these bloody things

33:31

that I never use. And I would sit

33:33

there for 45 minutes. I'd put on a

33:35

podcast that I don't normally listen to and

33:38

I'd put on the infrared light. And

33:40

I would go through and do all

33:42

my tools my fashion tools and my

33:44

cellulite tools and my face mask and

33:47

that 45 minutes felt like a three

33:49

day retreat. Okay, so if all else

33:51

fails go and have a sauna. Okay,

33:53

but actually do it. You're worth it.

33:55

You're deserving of the time, the money,

33:57

the energy, the receiving. And

34:00

whatever it is, whatever you need for you right

34:02

now is okay as well. Don't feel pressured to

34:04

do a business retreat if you're not in that

34:06

space. Don't feel pressured to do a family retreat

34:08

or a high -end retreat or even being around,

34:11

you know, a lot of different people if you're

34:13

not in that space. But do something for you.

34:16

Okay, do something for you. All right, so

34:18

be accountable. Let me know what you're going

34:20

to book and go and book something. May

34:23

not be the one yet, but something. And

34:25

a lot of people who run retreats have

34:27

payment plans too. Okay, so you

34:29

can make it happen. Book

34:31

it in rather than waiting for the spacious nurse

34:33

or the money to turn up. You're

34:35

worth it. Okay, so I've got one

34:38

final thought for you after this last break. Hey

34:41

gorgeous, my name is Haut

34:43

Charot and I live in France near Paris.

34:45

I'm a Feng Shui expert. I

34:48

have just finished reading the book

34:50

Get Rich Lucky Bitch and wow,

34:52

it can really change your life.

34:55

Thank you, Denise. I feel

34:57

ready to shine in this world,

35:00

reach a new level with my

35:02

business and allow myself to be

35:04

fully me. Okay,

35:07

so this final thought is not new. It's not original.

35:10

You've heard it a million times, but sometimes it bears

35:12

repeating. I serve, I

35:14

deserve. Everyone

35:16

I know. And everyone listening

35:18

to this podcast, you're serving in lots of

35:20

different ways, either through your business, through your

35:23

life, through your family, through the people that

35:25

you help all the time. You're

35:27

constantly putting good energy out into

35:30

the world and you deserve in

35:32

return. You deserve to receive spaciousness,

35:35

time, guilt -free

35:37

pleasure, fun, connection.

35:40

You deserve that in return. I serve, I

35:42

deserve. If you're constantly giving, you get brittle,

35:45

you get resentful, but also you get stagnant.

35:47

You really do. So it's okay to go

35:49

out and get some new ideas, some fresh

35:51

perspectives. And it's okay just to do ones

35:54

for fun as well. You know, I'd love

35:56

to do just like a dance retreat or

35:58

something, a ballet retreat, just

36:00

purely, oh, I got a little goosebumps on that, just

36:03

for fun. Okay. And if you've got excuses,

36:05

let me know those two because I'm really

36:07

good at... Helping people get

36:09

over their excuses. I came out lovely.

36:11

Thank you so much for listening. Please share this

36:14

episode with a friend who needs to hear it.

36:17

Especially a friend who maybe you've been wanting

36:19

to go on retreat with and you're both

36:21

procrastinating. Get them to listen to this

36:23

and together you can make that decision. But just

36:25

share it with someone else and tell them that

36:27

they deserve it as well. So you serve, you

36:29

deserve. Thank you so much for listening. I'll see

36:31

you next week on another episode of Chill and

36:34

Prosper. Bye. Thanks for

36:36

listening to Chill and Prosper

36:38

Tell your friends to chill

36:40

and prosper Review and subscribe

36:42

We hope you had a

36:44

very good time Hey,

36:48

hey, Denise again, and I hope you

36:51

enjoyed today's episode. Now, if you're ready

36:53

to get to work on your money

36:55

mindset and to step into the millionaire

36:57

version of yourself, there are three ways

36:59

that I can help you. Number one,

37:02

follow me and let me know how

37:04

things are going with money for you

37:06

right now. I'm at Denise DT on

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37:11

Number two, grab a copy of

37:13

my latest book, Chill and Prosper.

37:15

It's available in paperback, Kindle, and

37:18

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37:20

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37:22

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37:24

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37:26

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37:28

or get it from where you normally

37:30

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37:33

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37:35

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37:37

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37:39

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37:41

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37:43

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37:45

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37:47

It's a safe space for us all

37:49

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37:52

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37:54

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37:56

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37:58

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38:00

out more. Thanks for

38:02

listening to Prosper

38:04

and remember it's time

38:06

and you're ready for

38:09

the next step.