The final Christmas bonus, wrapped up nicely and tucked underneath the tree.This track is meant to be played alongside the movie, as is the other bonus for our first watch. You don't have to listen to both right away and honestly you really s

Clause and Effect (0/52): The First Watch

Dec 25th, 2018 1h 27m

Cobbled together from scraps of barely usable audio comes our first ever watch of the Santa Clause 3.This was meant to be watched alongside the movie, as is the bonus for our 52nd watch. Pick your poison, I guess. I wouldn't expect you to wan

Clause and Effect (53/52): Taking Up the Santle

Dec 25th, 2018 1h 7m

Just in time for Christmas, as promised.This week we didn't watch The Santa Clause 3. That's cause for celebration in and of itself, but that's not all. Instead, we watched both the first and second movies in the trilogy, and we were pleasant

Clause and Effect (Finale/52): The Last Reindeer Fart

Dec 18th, 2018 39m 5s

We have slain the movie, though we are the ones who were really defeated.It doesn't take long to shift into after-party mode as John and Jacob discuss their memories of the podcast while Ted searches for an obscure piece of lost media for alm

Clause and Effect (51/52): Non-Descript Non-Toxic Mint Substance

Dec 11th, 2018 44m 31s

Not even the director knows what it is.Yes, that's right. We watched with the director's commentary track this time. A lot of our theories were proven, and a lot of others were disproven. Also, we learn a lot about the production of the film

Clause and Effect (50/52): The North Pole Emu War

Dec 4th, 2018 35m 59s

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.With only three weeks left until their freedom, the gang uses Christmas as an excuse to talk about the human condition. Again. Also, we devise a Santa Clause themed racer in which yo

Clause and Effect (49/52): Reindeer, I Guess

Nov 27th, 2018 38m 34s

Real men eat mammoth, however.It's Ted's turn to blow the lid off the movie this week, and blow he does. Also, things get a little dark with the discovery of an article that tells us a little more about the production of the first movie, as w

Clause and Effect (48/52): How It's Made: Elves

Nov 20th, 2018 35m

Please do not contact Adam Sandler.Some slight audio issues this episode with Jacob's mic, but that won't stop us from once again delving into the manufacturing process of elves, as well as puzzling over the identity of an elf who is named bu

Clause and Effect (47/52): Don't Call Me Shirley

Nov 13th, 2018 48m 59s

You may, however, call a doctor. I don't feel so good.This week we watched Airplane! Time to make the least fair comparison between two movies that has probably ever been made. Mostly, we just use the comedic successes of one movie to describ

Clause and Effect (46/52): Chair Sleep Rank - S

Nov 6th, 2018 24m 52s

Whatever the opposite of ASMR is, this episode has it.This week we discuss the automatic targeting systems inherent to sleep deities and elves with hammers, as well as the Christmas Creep. No, not that type of creep. Also, Ted proposes the id

Clause and Effect (45/52): There's A Plane Outside

Oct 30th, 2018 29m 1s

See you in Helf.Every so often we have one of those episodes where none of us can think of anything to talk about. This is not one of those times, yet a certain someone managed to be so distracted by the plane outside his window that it inevi

Clause and Effect (44/52): The Hell That Is Living As Mr. Bean

Oct 23rd, 2018 39m 49s

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.This week, the gang is pretty low-energy. This, of course, means that the usual happens and that by the end John is practically screaming at Jacob while Ted can't stop laughing. In between, be sure not to m

Clause and Effect (43/52): Roll To Dodge Hippo

Oct 16th, 2018 47m 41s

Alternate titles for this week's episode include:The Pilot is the Hippo5 Seconds until the Hippo Impacts the Plane"It Follows" but it's a HippoThe Hippo Annihilates Tim AllenIn case it wasn't obvious, we didn't make good on our promise t

Clause and Effect (42/52): Mr. Frost's Wild Slide

Oct 9th, 2018 36m 27s

I want to get off.Simultaneously the shortest episode and also the longest stinger we've ever had, this week's episode weighs heavy on us. Despite our boredom with the bland attempts at """humor""" present in the movie, we still find ways to

Clause and Effect (41/52): Butt-like Doors, Inc.

Oct 2nd, 2018 40m 2s

"We didn't like the old one, so it's not real anymore." -line from the commentary track for The Santa Clause 3ε.We gave Santa the Griswald treatment, placing him in situations that would break a mortal man. Also, we give the part of Jack Fros

Clause and Effect (40/52): Tim Allen ga Taosenai

Sep 25th, 2018 32m 42s

Translator's Note: Taosenai means "plan".We watched the movie in Japanese this time around, and we played the official video game. After we're done sharing our thoughts on that, we attempt to make a Mega Man game. Somehow, this is one of our

Clause and Effect (39/52): The Last Cardboardbender

Sep 18th, 2018 50m 12s

Santa is in the eye of the beholder.We're officially 3/4 of the way there, so to celebrate we threw Santa Claus into Dark Souls. Again. Also, we discuss the combat potential of 270 cardboard cut-outs of Jack Frost, as well as the importance o

Clause and Effect (38/52): I Will Become A Mop

Sep 11th, 2018 33m 17s

It's like Animorphs. But for mops.It's a brief, yet focused episode this week, as the three of us start by discussing the state of Tim Allen, the human, the person. Afterwards, a discussion about a mystery horse gets almost completely dropped

Clause and Effect (37/52): Phase 25 is Zombies

Sep 4th, 2018 34m 43s

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.It's a late recording for the three of us, so we're all in the mindset of wanting to end things quickly. What this leads to is, of course, a rapid descent i

Clause and Effect (36/52): Bud's Awakening

Aug 28th, 2018 43m 18s

Keep on dreaming, dreamer.What starts out as a discussion of John's simple, yet terrifying method of watching the movie this week, turns to places we could not have even imagined. Join us as we discuss the nature of reality within the univers

Clause and Effect (35/52): An Appointment At The Shortening Office

Aug 21st, 2018 46m 55s

Still got your tin foil hats? Good.This week, we discuss the chaos that would ensue in a world without Santa Claus. Also we get pretty meta near the end. That's really about it.Homework this week:-Get shortened. It's the law.-Uncover the

Clause and Effect (34/52): That's A Lot Of Beans

Aug 14th, 2018 40m 39s

Achievement unlocked: Get through an entire episode without having to cut anything.It's our reindeer fart centennial, and to celebrate, we actually did our homework for once. Later, we discuss possibilities for a Burton-esque reboot of the se

Clause and Effect (33/52): Everyone Is Here

Aug 7th, 2018 41m 1s

The year is 20XX.Tonight we honorably mention a very special fighting game that may or may not exist. We honorably mention it, and can't seem to stop honorably mentioning it. All you need to know is that it all comes down to frame data.Home

Clause and Effect (32/52): Little Timmy, Age 50

Jul 31st, 2018 43m 2s

No amount of therapy will be enough.In this episode, the heat really gets to our head. Join us as we attempt to rationalize just how incompetent the other elves must be for Curtis to be their boss. Later, witness the horror as we discover the

Clause and Effect (31/52): Chekhov's Beans

Jul 24th, 2018 43m 24s

Alternate title: Tim Allen Goes to the Store.Due to unforeseen circumstances involving sudden illness, we have a last minute guest this episode. We didn't even have time to think of a way to kill him off at the end. In any case, today's episo