0:00

Support. For Npr comes from Fx

0:02

with Shogun and original series based

0:05

on the novel by James Clavell

0:07

Fx. The Shogun is an epic

0:09

saga of war, passion, and power

0:11

set in Feudal Japan starring Hiroyuki

0:14

Sonata and Anna. So why February

0:16

Twenty Seventh on Hulu? Every

0:19

line you're listening to codes which I'm

0:21

be a parker. And I'm Jean Dobby. Okay

0:24

g February is black history.

0:27

Month it is. It's also

0:29

Valentine's Day! Is

0:31

so. It's a time of

0:33

year when a lot of people have love

0:35

on the brain. Cells around and a pic.

0:38

Of gotta ask, are you

0:41

man? Take. I mean are

0:43

all Felix and skeptics just really want a

0:45

romantic? So I mean if their best your

0:47

definition of romantic dinner with the a more

0:49

romantic. What

0:51

about your partner? Or your mental I. Mean. Maybe

0:53

it depends on the day and

0:55

but as you know, our gas

0:58

today is unabashed romantic. That

1:00

she is. Her name is Nicole

1:02

Hill and I am a know

1:04

cold tell stories about everyday regular

1:07

juggler black and brown folks were

1:09

looking for. Belonging. People

1:11

trying to make sense of their places in

1:13

the world. She does that on her show,

1:16

The Secret Adventures of Black People and most

1:18

recently. She. Did that for Tracy. I

1:20

was Ross series. I'm America. And

1:23

coal loves love.

1:26

I grew up in a family of

1:28

women who love pride and prejudice. we

1:30

love like old black and white movies

1:32

from the thirties from the for his

1:34

with the i Love It. She said

1:37

com Christmas time. If Hallmark movies, period.

1:39

I want to see all the Christmas

1:41

tree farmers. Get all the big city

1:43

women to leave their high pressure job

1:45

and come help them raise their child.

1:47

I don't care. I'm feminists. I know

1:49

it's backwards. It doesn't matter to me,

1:51

but as much as you love those

1:54

movies, she noticed that there were hardly

1:56

ever any black folks in them, so

1:58

I'm starting point. She started. Boy,

2:00

distinctly Black Love Stories and Was

2:02

You Found was a treasure trove.

2:04

Thousands upon thousands of these archival

2:06

black newspapers and they were fill

2:08

with personal as from Black people

2:10

trying to find love and those

2:12

papers with all the way back

2:14

to the Eighty Ninth. And

2:17

the cause I graciously agreed to share

2:19

with us some of what's land from

2:21

reading hundreds and hundreds of articles. From

2:23

his own is a face. About

2:25

what black lab look like in

2:27

the past and what I can

2:29

teach us about how we should

2:32

understand our presence and see. Got

2:34

into all that say asking us

2:36

a theory into question. What's

2:39

the oldest love story you know I mean

2:41

the oldest love story and know as my

2:44

probably. My grandparents because the it's

2:46

inkling of the Nineteen thirties

2:48

and North Carolina them met

2:50

as teenagers In a pity

2:52

the Field. The. Citizens Specifically

2:54

romance. Health service sucks hottest a

2:57

set of the literally so sweaty

2:59

other guy or five very high

3:01

as you as his marriage them

3:04

both. With like. A big. Sacks

3:06

and dispense sadism and them look met

3:08

each. Other. From across the sea is. Their

3:12

eyes meat hooks. Which grandparents you think made

3:14

the first move? Oh my grandfather for sure

3:16

he said exists on a mile from Brussels.

3:18

On with it like a month. Or

3:23

two, I'm not a ma'am measure for

3:25

a man. From notice.

3:28

Regretted Burlap sack full of

3:30

all the choices birds with

3:32

one month out on. Awesome

3:35

Awesome! Misses us like here

3:37

and my Grandpa Roy right

3:39

now. Assistance and sleazy what's

3:41

yours. So the most important

3:43

moment of Logo for me

3:45

involves. Fictional. Human

3:47

University or with Helmand. Khalid's answer might differ

3:49

was also bought the hook. Dwayne Wayne End

3:51

with the job or have this on again

3:54

off again things and so Whitley goes with

3:56

the marry. This dude is one of Us.

3:58

Senate has himself a more. Anyway,

4:01

that getting married is this really dramatic

4:04

wedding and Dwayne interrupts

4:06

the wedding and he's like,

4:08

baby, please. Apara, baby, please,

4:11

please. I do. Please,

4:15

baby, please, baby, please. Please, baby, please.

4:18

He breaks up their wedding. They run off together. I

4:21

guess the idea is they're supposed to look happy after,

4:23

but obviously that's ridiculous now as a grown up. As

4:25

a grown up who has done some healing? No.

4:30

But as a 10 or 11 year old? Yes,

4:33

yes, absolutely. So two

4:36

very different kinds of love

4:38

stories. But

4:42

Nicole, you've been reading about

4:44

hundreds of different kinds of love

4:46

stories in your research going through

4:48

old black newspapers. Can

4:50

you talk about some of what you learned? So

4:53

one of my favorite papers that

4:55

I found is the Washington Afro-American,

4:57

which is a subsidiary of the

4:59

Baltimore Afro-American, which still exists today.

5:02

Yes, it does. What I really

5:04

love about it is, of course,

5:06

they're covering all the national and

5:08

international news headlines, all the important

5:10

things. But the thing

5:12

that's unique about them is, you

5:14

know, all the black papers around

5:17

the country, primarily the Chicago Defender

5:19

and the Pittsburgh Courier are really

5:21

focused on the fight, on

5:23

helping black people to gain

5:26

their independence, to organize politically

5:28

and socially and fight for

5:30

justice. But people are

5:32

people. And so, you

5:34

know, sometimes to get people to drink their medicine,

5:36

you want to give them a little bit of

5:38

sugar. And so what the papers would do

5:40

is they would publish gossip,

5:43

they would publish love poems, they

5:45

would publish little things that the

5:47

public might like, you know, when

5:49

they're tired of reading about the

5:51

struggle. Now, papers like the

5:54

Defender and the Courier were hesitant to do

5:56

those things. The Washington

5:58

Afro-American, love it. That they were

6:01

like let's go give us all

6:03

the drama, give us all the

6:05

gossip. We will run this right

6:07

after we do. You know your

6:09

important stuff and go do all

6:11

of that but also flip through

6:13

that phase is and find out

6:15

who's been divorced since Innocence comfort

6:17

her Drama The Solutions To Oversee

6:19

says say for the breakdown of

6:21

the needy assessments that has. Essentially,

6:28

these newspapers were like Instagram updates

6:30

back on a day. And they're

6:32

talking about love, love love. We're

6:35

talking love poems, love scandals, advice

6:37

on how to find love is

6:39

or how to get out alive

6:41

and people searching for it and

6:44

neither. Now would it a threat

6:46

Look like a sensory input? Dismissal

6:48

Mature as okay, so folks business

6:50

know they had them. They had.

6:54

Her things out. even. worry about it, they

6:56

were there Only ever women thou. Of

6:58

put me in a wheelchair so it's

7:00

a lot. A bathing suit picks a

7:02

lot of just women at the beach

7:04

or beauty contests or just dressed up

7:07

go into T. this is how they

7:09

sold their papers is usually women but

7:11

then the men were riding. a lotta

7:13

love poems, a lot of kind of

7:15

sad. Love. Poems like

7:18

famously inside Baby baby please please

7:20

I said you gotta. Give me a

7:22

sad palm and least give me like a surplus

7:24

man and I'm dungarees or something like. Lavender.

7:26

My God Let Me. Enjoy the full measure.

7:29

The main. Ones investment there's This is

7:31

how they were trying to lay traps for women

7:33

back in the day was a lot alike. Girl,

7:35

I got a job. The.

7:37

And. A

7:39

half the no way that.

7:41

So. Some so right now. So when

7:43

I'm reading these papers what was really

7:46

interesting to me is you know we

7:48

talk so much about how dating is

7:50

really hard Now our parents give us

7:52

a device on used to do this

7:54

is like you don't understand the context

7:56

in which were living in read newspapers

7:58

and I'm seeing. You know what

8:01

if people nineteen thirty seven are talking

8:03

to their parents? Their parents were the

8:05

first generation of people to ever be

8:07

born free and America. They're

8:09

not having a good time. not every

8:11

bad when a pin a broad brush,

8:13

but so many the overwhelming majority are

8:16

just figuring out how to be free

8:18

and America and their love stories are

8:20

coming during the tail end of this

8:22

kind of Victorian era life, we're going

8:25

to get together for economics because it's

8:27

socially acceptable. you know, kind of like

8:29

a more rigid form of love. And

8:31

in their grandparents. Were. Enslaved.

8:34

And. Their love stories. There

8:36

and mean they're hard to even now is

8:38

they shared them at all. And so what

8:41

they would have imagined for themselves when it

8:43

came to love. May. Have been

8:45

pretty limited, but by Nineteen

8:47

Thirty seven Black people are

8:49

in the midst of the

8:51

great migration cities or urbanizing.

8:53

The twenties have happened, And

8:55

so there's been this introduction

8:57

of companionate love. This

9:01

idea that you shouldn't get married

9:03

because of some like side Z

9:05

Religious. I mean of course that

9:07

still exists for we're introducing this

9:09

idea of. You. Should find a

9:12

person who sets are so of fire

9:14

makes you feel complete and whole and

9:16

you should run off with that. We

9:18

should be with them forever. You should

9:21

marry for love or wire new concept

9:23

exactly I know right Huge success that

9:25

synthesis but it's new and what it

9:27

means is were no longer time a

9:30

look and over at whoever the next

9:32

door neighbor and just considering them were

9:34

maybe move into a new city and

9:36

looking out at everybody and one is

9:39

his own days since he has. Seals

9:41

and reviving to Isis

9:43

and nested. Or

9:46

am I board? But.

9:48

Tell us about the social and political less

9:50

back then what was going on? Okay, so.

9:52

It's nineteen. Thirty seven s the you're going

9:54

to focus at all and look at life

9:56

expectancy for men spots eighty eight years for

9:59

women sixty two. Like

10:01

you gotta get in there and do

10:03

it. You gotta live your life right

10:05

now I'm this is not a lot

10:07

of time. Str is the President. Black

10:09

people have voted in mass for him

10:11

and we've actually been voting democrat for

10:13

the past ten years after having less

10:15

the Republican party or Agassi to say

10:17

they left us since neither we were

10:19

britain from our parents of his own

10:21

brand new whom that's exactly right outside

10:23

of politics. I'm and say about Popcorn

10:26

Cemetery where people are getting into for

10:28

fine. Okay okay okay so Nineteen thirty.

10:30

Seven. This new thing that was

10:32

introduced at the World Fair is

10:34

called Television Set Up. Her people

10:36

are saying it's gonna be huge.

10:38

The most famous person America is

10:40

probably Shirley Temple made on the

10:42

biggest book, The Hobbit by Jrr

10:44

Tolkien that just came out while

10:46

you're big Pop the top of

10:48

the charts Billie Holiday in Duke

10:50

Ellington and tastes exactly relevant in

10:52

that time. And there's a really

10:55

really popular dance. It's called the

10:57

Big Apple Dance. Why people have

10:59

stolen it. From. Black people same

11:01

as it ever was. It is

11:03

the city and then if you're

11:05

living in the city's you are

11:07

going out. That is what it

11:09

is about. It is about hanging out with

11:12

your friends, hang out at church, hang out

11:14

with colleagues, having fun. Is this idea that

11:16

you could go to cities in the North.

11:18

That. We're still segregated, but had black

11:21

communities. You know, like a city like

11:23

D C. Let's say, it's which has

11:25

the highest concentration of black people in

11:28

the nation. You have Howard University. And

11:30

Howard University is the capstone of Negro

11:32

education in America. And so all these

11:34

people, the doctors and lawyers, and the

11:37

great thinkers of that day are going

11:39

to Howard and then they're settling all

11:41

around you street which they called Black

11:44

Broadway at that time. And so you

11:46

get there and you're seeing two hundred

11:48

Black. Owned shops and businesses

11:51

so. If. You were going

11:53

out right is gonna whatever they call done in like

11:55

a mrs going have to turn up or you street

11:57

lights where did you need to do to me cause

11:59

open it. Related. Who.

12:02

Based. On having read this paper

12:04

in I will tell you what I

12:06

would make small talk around. let's hear

12:08

it. let's see. Okay thirty Fps game

12:11

Okay was gonna go I we the

12:13

I would definitely talk about how much

12:15

I love Duke Ellington his new jazz

12:17

style. Before everybody loved him I loved

12:20

him. He is from D C. I

12:22

don't want to brag but I can.

12:24

I got on before everybody else celebrated.

12:28

Love. This was like the mid two thousand the

12:30

How To Be Me. I was doing the same

12:33

thing. Him at parties talking the

12:35

guess so already you're ready to

12:37

already, you're almost there. Do

12:43

you think people back then we're

12:45

finding it easier to date since

12:47

to be couple well gene this

12:49

is the question. Is. So

12:52

up to opinion maybe and in twenty

12:54

years people will say we had a

12:56

good as it's hard to know is

12:58

the dating landscape with for sore better

13:00

worth in part because. People

13:03

having a genuine interest in black

13:05

love and researching it and documenting

13:07

here and asking people about their

13:09

experiences is so limited that is

13:11

one of the things we've been

13:13

robbed of is just not deserve

13:15

our big dramatic Had a civil

13:17

rights are fight for just basic

13:19

human rights but also just everyday

13:21

things of like what did it

13:23

take to find a date? They're

13:25

harder to find because people didn't

13:27

documents him in the way they

13:29

did for white communities. but. People

13:32

were complaining and their complaint

13:34

sounds are currently. Coming

13:39

up, we're going to put this

13:42

question to the test as Black

13:44

Dating better. And Nineteen Thirty Seven?

13:46

Than it is today and we're going to do

13:48

that by Sigma little trip in a time machine.

13:51

And parker often base notice

13:54

know that people. To say what they

13:56

want. but everybody you know we. Have to be flexible

13:58

with our ass is the. Stay

14:01

with us. This

14:30

message comes from Apple Card.

15:00

From your car radio to your smart speaker, NPR meets

15:02

you where you are in a lot of different ways.

15:29

Now we're in your pocket. Download the

15:31

NPR app today. Parker.

15:40

Jean. Coteswitch. And

15:44

we're back talking to Nicole Hill about

15:46

what Black love looked like almost a

15:48

century ago and what that might

15:50

help us understand about Black love today. I

15:53

think it would be kind of fun to see if

15:56

maybe Jean and Parker

15:58

or maybe one of you have both. both of you, I

16:00

don't know your situation, but to see if you could find

16:02

somebody that you would maybe write to in 1937 to

16:07

go on another date with. Aww. Aww.

16:09

Aww. Never, never

16:11

make that sound again, Gene. I'm

16:15

off the market. I am

16:17

a perpetually single black woman in America

16:20

who is looking for love in 1937. I

16:25

feel like I would crush

16:27

it in 1937. I

16:30

feel like I would do great.

16:32

Are you kidding me? With my

16:34

skillsets? Okay, what are your skillsets?

16:36

I love this attitude. Yes.

16:39

I can't cook. I can't

16:42

cook. Okay, let's probably order

16:44

today. I can

16:46

kind of clean, but I also have a

16:48

rumba. Can you like sew? I

16:51

can darn. Like socks

16:53

and stuff. That's helpful.

16:56

That's helpful. But like if you need

16:58

like a dissertation on Titus

17:00

and Johnicus, or

17:04

you want to know about like Vincent

17:07

Minnelli's film techniques when he

17:10

made Hallelujah, I'm

17:12

that girl. And I'm

17:14

here, and I'm sure

17:16

there's a nice, sensible

17:19

black man at that

17:21

time who would love to hear these things

17:24

while I spent his money. Okay, what

17:26

kind of a man is Parker looking for both

17:32

today and 1937, or if they're different? Well,

17:35

present day, I

17:38

find, you know, just a tall,

17:41

big dude to cry a lot and

17:43

listen to the speed metal. But

17:47

if he could go back in time, like,

17:51

you know, I would love a nice

17:53

farmer. Just a kind

17:55

man. Funny.

18:00

He could be taller than me, he doesn't have to

18:02

be, I know I'm kinda tall. Likes

18:07

art, doesn't have to understand it, but

18:09

at least enjoys it. Just

18:14

like a nice partner. Nice.

18:16

And you know, there you go, that's all

18:18

I want. Wow, nice is so nebulous.

18:21

That's not so much to ask, is

18:23

it? Nice. Um, non-misogynistic

18:27

for that time. Okay. He's

18:29

like, oh. Adjected for the time, yeah. Adjected for the

18:31

time. Okay. Okay. Well,

18:33

I'm gonna introduce you to the Lonesome Hearts

18:35

column, which is essentially,

18:38

these are the apps of 1937. Hi

18:40

Doug. And so

18:42

on page 18 of your local paper

18:45

in D.C., The Washington Afro-American. Okay. And

18:48

the editor is a man

18:50

named Albertine Ash. Albertine. It

18:52

sounds like a chemical called

18:54

Ash-ber-teen. Baguley cancerous, vaguely carcinogenic.

18:56

Okay, so he runs this column,

18:58

he's been running it for years, and he's

19:00

got some specific instructions. Okay. I'm just gonna

19:02

read them to you now, so you understand.

19:05

Alright. Are you a

19:07

Lonesome Heart? If so, you

19:09

are invited to read and use this column.

19:12

The signatures and addresses of letters sent

19:14

this column will not be published. If

19:16

you want your letters forwarded, enclose

19:18

three cents stamp. Three cents. What

19:21

a time. So, are you willing to enclose three

19:23

cents and find your love? I'll

19:26

give a quarter. This

19:29

is what Albert said. He said, this

19:32

column is for sincere, lonely hearts. Please

19:34

do not write flowery language and fictitious

19:36

names. Lonely hearts are not to be

19:38

played with. Alright now. Alright Mr.

19:40

Ash. I feel like that

19:43

is definitely like a moat sounder. I

19:48

think it's a good idea to check out the

19:50

competition to get a sense of what they're saying.

19:53

These are the women who are writing and

19:55

under the column that says husbands wanted. Husbands

19:58

wanted not even like, you know, boyfriend. to

20:00

see once a month. Not even booting. Well this

20:02

is the thing, he's naming the column husbands wanted.

20:05

People are saying they're

20:08

open. Alright. Okay. So

20:10

we're reading in between lines here. Modern

20:12

individuals. I'm gonna read you this letter

20:14

signed brown eyes. Hello. To

20:18

the Lonesome Hearts editor, I am 19. Light

20:21

brown, 5 feet 6 inches tall.

20:24

Black hair with a medium length

20:26

wavy bob, play piano, like to

20:29

keep house, like children, and am

20:31

considered quite good looking and charming.

20:34

My father left me a legacy which I

20:36

can't receive until I marry. I

20:38

suppose he thought I would run through it

20:40

uselessly alone, but I will share it

20:43

with the man that I consider for marriage. I

20:45

could never marry my present boyfriend for

20:47

reasons untold. Alright.

20:52

I want to know what those reasons untold might be.

20:55

I can never marry my present boyfriend for

20:57

reasons untold. So I want some tall, handsome,

21:00

neat, lovable, brown skinned man

21:02

between 25 and 30 to

21:05

write and send me a picture of himself

21:07

in credentials. He must be

21:09

a college man with a good

21:12

disposition, clean, not drink excessively, industrious,

21:14

and know how and when to

21:16

invest. He must be a

21:18

real he-man of athletic build, but

21:20

not under 6 feet. Brown eyes.

21:25

First of all, not he-man. I mean, when we

21:28

talk about 1937, you know, the depression

21:30

is still kind of like maybe waning,

21:32

but it's still happening. Like people

21:34

ain't getting enough nutrition. You know what?

21:36

Brown eyes understand. I get what

21:38

she's, where's she coming from? I mean, I'm not

21:40

saying she, her, her standards are

21:42

too high. I'm just saying like, wow, she wants

21:45

all of the things. Hi, Steve Harvey. I'm

21:47

not saying she should

21:49

lower her standards. I'm just saying, and maybe in

21:51

DC, you know what I mean? Maybe either the

21:53

phone or college educated dude. Near Howard. I feel

21:55

like she's narrowing the playing field. Pre-Civil Rights Act,

21:57

something like a four percent of... black

22:00

people at college degrees. So I

22:02

mean, I'm just saying, maybe education in particular might

22:04

be a thing that might be like a high

22:07

that I should have crossed. I got you. Okay,

22:11

Jean, you have just one more

22:13

column just to give you a sense of

22:15

feel for what the ladies are asking of

22:18

the men. Yes, so okay. This one is

22:20

from someone named Smiling Peggy. To

22:23

the Lonesome Hearts editor, I would love to meet

22:25

some nice gentlemen, plural, between the ages of 24

22:27

and 29, employed,

22:30

lover of church and movies, all

22:32

good, clean, fun, and color doesn't matter.

22:35

I am brown skinned, considered nice looking

22:37

by my friends, five foot five, weigh

22:39

156 pounds, high school graduate, regularly employed,

22:41

not interested in any man who has

22:44

been married. I will answer all letters

22:46

promptly and give a fuller description of

22:48

my love. That's

22:50

your competition. All

22:52

right, Peggy. Hi,

22:54

Peggy. She

22:57

likes movies, just like you. Movies,

22:59

church, a man with a sense, and

23:01

a job. And a job. I

23:04

feel like you and Peggy are looking for something closer to the

23:07

same thing. You mean a more

23:10

rational version of a man. Is

23:14

that what brown eyes was looking for? Brown

23:17

eyes, that's for everything. All right, so you got the

23:19

lay of the land, you got a feel for it. Now I should

23:21

say, when people say color doesn't matter, what they mean, because we are

23:23

in 1937, it doesn't matter

23:25

if you're light skinned or you're dark skinned or

23:28

you're brown. Well, no, there's no mention of dark

23:30

skin. They mean light skin or brown skin. Nobody

23:32

mentions dark skin. These colorist

23:34

people. I know, my people are left out.

23:36

Everybody just says color doesn't matter. And

23:38

we should follow those y'all can't see this, we are all

23:41

dark brown, all of the three. Chocolatey

23:43

people. How'd he fight for our love? Every

23:45

day. Even back then. Even

23:47

back then. Especially back then. Oh my

23:50

God. What

23:52

we're gonna do next is, Jean and I have

23:55

both made selections for you. All right,

23:57

Jean, you better have done right by me. I'm

23:59

always trying to. The wherever you are I'm

24:01

on the costs. Because I don't really know

24:03

you but as fast as you says he's and

24:05

know you and you going to. Do me

24:07

dirty some how to river it from

24:10

ago and I am like a producer

24:12

on a reality show so who knows

24:14

what I would would go with me.

24:16

I was wrong. Ah pastor. Okay,

24:18

okay. Okay I'm ready to

24:20

at his of let's go let's take turns will

24:22

go one on one said Jean I'll go first

24:25

or share my first one. Of

24:28

her Parker: Please Meet Bachelor Number

24:30

One! To the Lonesome

24:32

Hearts Editor. X Mail

24:34

Man who went wrong desires the

24:36

friendship of a broad minded and

24:38

successful woman. Between the ages of

24:41

twenty five and fifty five, I

24:43

am at present employed. I'm Debbie

24:45

P. A, but especially better very

24:47

soon. I'm thirty nine. Light brown,

24:49

five feet four inches were hundred

24:52

and sixty five pounds like medium

24:54

sized with a dignified appearance. I

24:56

once own my own home and

24:58

car. I am affectionate and will

25:00

try to be a good husband.

25:03

Was in government service fourteen years

25:05

before. Real estate investments as well

25:08

as others cause my downfall as

25:10

maleness. As

25:14

moment I mean hours with you Put.

25:17

Him I. As feel

25:20

like there's gonna be some evenings. And

25:24

an alert or do you mean what?

25:26

he really started to realize makes had

25:28

to Take me down. The Outsiders are

25:30

throwing. I'm

25:32

going to have the had my money

25:34

in a loose break in the living

25:36

room. All of a sudden. Is

25:39

gonna go missing with as he got a

25:41

new investment deal. And and the rumors

25:43

I do right? I'm I'm I'm exam of real mean.

25:45

Give you a promise. I promise As any the

25:47

right woman to turn around between the ages of twenty

25:49

five and six. Says

25:52

you like it don't matter it.

25:54

A menace. A broad minded and

25:56

successful woman I'd you are successful

25:58

and in love. If you had already

26:01

achieved some of their success and you didn't

26:03

bring it on home to happen. As

26:05

pass up as well as.

26:09

Hard as a size, it tears. As

26:11

an agent of chaos, that's fine. I'd

26:16

senior up. Okay, To

26:19

the Lonesome Hearth and of I'm

26:21

a widower. My wife has been

26:23

dead nearly four years ago. My

26:25

home a farm is six room

26:27

house. I'm getting old. Lazy. oh.

26:35

I'm getting old when I'm out to

26:38

all the take. Urban honest and kind

26:40

woman who was strictly a one man

26:42

woman or as I'm a one woman

26:44

Me: I'm in April. bore man and

26:46

don't mind. Please give me a birthmark

26:49

Know haven't given our birthdays as the

26:51

only thing under the sun. The mix

26:53

a good man a good woman is

26:55

a good principal. Signed.

26:58

Eastman. Of voice we

27:00

say i'm your fears of target you and

27:02

of bet you do have any idea why

27:04

but though person my view him as you

27:07

know I'm in astrology. Sign

27:13

that photos on Earth I. Ah

27:16

I came here is. An. Aries. Oh

27:19

My. God. That's. Up

27:24

faster as. The

27:28

others like a. Lousy

27:31

on the same, he. He's

27:34

a huge. That it's sad.

27:36

it's kind of farmers in a six

27:39

bedroom house. didn't order so he might

27:41

get gone soon. As you get, that

27:43

has. An hour Because point, Like older

27:46

and at Rbc women have a d

27:48

order to be like thirty. You know,

27:50

when we're halfway through the desert minutes?

27:52

And he did not mention kids. Are

27:55

not as right he didn't. Owe us

27:57

to make this work. Ah,

28:00

A nice kind Aires older

28:02

man. Does have become like is

28:04

like the guess it's a said he means

28:06

that you up there right now of those

28:09

who work is do it like any and

28:11

I've eaten a wife number one allow my

28:13

number to offer as a system is one

28:15

of and like that we were thought you

28:18

know really of far. As

28:20

we don't have a favorite or exactly.

28:24

Does. One both where he some of them eastman

28:26

can make it work. Or

28:28

next steps his some parts editor.

28:30

I am an artist. Forty three,

28:33

dark brown skin fi see Eight

28:35

Senses boy one hundred and eighty

28:37

five pounds, neat with black curly

28:40

hair and have been and so

28:42

business over fifteen years own my

28:44

home in the west and I

28:47

expect to go back as soon

28:49

as my contacts here expire. I

28:51

was his dad and I have

28:54

a young son I would like

28:56

to me a refined away. Physicists

28:58

as a little of what what's

29:00

the problem isn't meant to know

29:02

that people say what they want

29:04

but everybody you know we have

29:06

to be flexible with our ass

29:08

was sad I realized me to

29:10

refine widow forty to forty five

29:12

for that. oh I can't I

29:14

have. Oh. I'm sorry I am. I'm

29:16

not in my forties and I'm not a

29:19

widow. Give this is what he

29:21

said he says, you know we kids as

29:23

a rule people Alec, he's a best case

29:25

scenario a widow both lima the open. Let's

29:27

see, let's see if you'd said we wind

29:30

rights him ones who can appreciate a nice

29:32

home with pleasing surrounding. I am willing to

29:34

marry if I can find the right type,

29:36

but she must be that type girl. For

29:39

you will be wasting your paper

29:41

color and looks mean nothing. Character

29:44

is what counts with me. Artist.

29:47

Don Tar. And.

29:53

Okay, so quick isn't' What?

29:55

What do you think he specifically asked for Will. Maybe.

29:57

See that money? the like that

30:00

part of it. The stigma attached to a woman

30:02

who is 40 or 45 and

30:04

has never been married might

30:06

be what he's asked for a refined widow.

30:08

So that also seems to be code of

30:10

like, I would like you to have a

30:13

little bit of money, a little bit of

30:15

class. It's very specific. And

30:18

I feel like I could wait out for my neck and

30:20

cold. Like I don't need, I can wait

30:22

this out. I don't know about him. Okay.

30:24

All right then.

30:26

Gene. All right. One more for you though, before

30:28

you, before you make up your mind, Parker, about

30:30

who you forever food is going to be. Okay.

30:34

To the Lonesome Hearts editor. I'm 36

30:36

years old. Brown skin weigh 138.5 pounds.

30:39

That's very specific. Barber by trade, a

30:41

steady worker and a church man. Do

30:43

not drink or gamble. I would like

30:45

to get in touch with some refined

30:47

girl who is looking for a one

30:49

woman man for a husband. Color

30:51

doesn't matter. What I want is happiness at home.

30:54

I would indeed appreciate a wife, one

30:56

whose ways and ideas are similar to

30:59

mine. I'm quiet, old fashioned myself. I

31:02

desire one who enjoys the same things I do

31:04

as movies, radio, reading and church. Her height

31:07

five, three to six feet weight 120. Age

31:10

does not matter. We'll exchange photos.

31:13

Find Homer. I

31:15

do like the name Homer. It's

31:18

such a old Tommy. Wow. All

31:20

right. We got 36 year old barber.

31:22

He likes church. He likes movies,

31:25

radio. And

31:29

a barber back then like would

31:31

have been like a pillar of

31:34

the community. Yeah. Like he would

31:36

have been connected. Okay.

31:38

So Homer said that he was old fashioned. What do

31:40

we think

31:43

that means? He seems

31:45

very traditional. I don't

31:47

know if he would love the independent that

31:50

I seek. Old fashioned in 1937 is like

31:52

1901. It's an Korean

31:58

Vibe. the mining and I

32:01

saw a pocket target is a man.

32:03

On the corner and will you

32:05

do? A talk at him like a bar.

32:07

Gross. Cable he

32:09

dylan is women read that like that would

32:11

be you're right, that would be the by

32:13

or like he went out and she didn't

32:15

have gloves on our hands. People could see

32:17

your dirty hands like lambs and mans. you

32:19

know. All his gonna tear

32:21

my books and have. No

32:24

wife amount of Gabi read: miss synthesis.

32:27

Of was. Jewish

32:29

mysticism. It's like the use of

32:32

what? What do we know about

32:34

these negro? What? A

32:37

weird ideas as the point of putting

32:39

your his chances. Are. They can about.

32:41

okay, it's as easy as has

32:43

acted turn one of those bedrooms

32:45

and so like an office and

32:47

the library. You

32:49

could not Gonna one of the all time as

32:51

good as the whole we knocked out of wall.

32:54

The opposite are endless and a

32:56

farm. Saw House that's so popular

32:59

right now almost that Cctv would

33:01

be on me. They knew. It

33:04

would you know about farm life or you have

33:06

I. Said. My summers as a kid on a

33:08

farm. Oh. My. God. You

33:10

know have seen assumed last fact. it.

33:12

Gets. Up to me like I know. I

33:15

know that some of the ins and outs

33:17

and seven I would have to learn. Lads.

33:20

Ah Oh. My. God. we have made

33:22

a Hallmark movie for me. In my

33:25

view, them as I may isn't simply

33:27

the summit. Oh My. God. So

33:29

okay, so I saw that you made your

33:31

final decision as. The like I

33:33

I mean Eastland acted take

33:35

him only then he seems

33:37

Weldon tested. For. The

33:40

time. He could. Be

33:43

a partner. Aires his

33:46

Aires very well. Ah,

33:48

he's an independent thinker.

33:51

As as it I thought of as

33:53

upset as the quip you already know

33:55

as Nord Areas Nord I. Already. Am

33:57

I looking at the vibes? And

34:00

I as a Convisual

34:03

isolationist someone who loves

34:05

people but also prefers to be by herself

34:08

being on a farm with my man Best

34:10

case scenario best case scenario, and I'm not

34:12

that far from DC if you send in

34:14

letters to the paper Mm-hmm.

34:18

I Can see the vision Jean I

34:21

this is the most kudos I will ever give

34:23

you You did

34:25

good. It's the most I mean I found you a

34:27

forever boo like you found me You found

34:30

me a farmer who's into astrology I

34:37

want that man all that means to

34:39

me is that you're a 30 something

34:41

woman who's in Brooklyn What

34:53

I love about these columns is that

34:56

you're able to get little glimpses of

34:58

black lives and

35:00

the romance the challenges

35:02

the Intrigue all the different ways that

35:04

people could be black back then and

35:07

just live their life one But then

35:09

also search for somebody to share their

35:11

life with from the brown eyes of

35:13

the world who are being really Specific

35:15

and tell you a little bit of

35:17

their story to people who are just

35:19

kind of writing in and being very

35:22

vague But it seems like it might

35:24

be coded and so they'll say people

35:26

of any gender right to me The

35:29

columns aren't always romantic. Sometimes they'll

35:31

be people writing and saying I am so Lonely

35:34

will somebody please just be my

35:37

pen pal and I feel

35:39

so connected to the past because I

35:41

can see our stories today and all

35:44

of these Small little

35:46

paragraphs that people are writing in but also,

35:48

you know to be honest I feel like

35:50

pretty robbed where it's just like our

35:53

history could look like so many things

35:55

and we've done Extraordinary things in our

35:58

fight and our organizing for civil rights,

36:00

we've had to in order to

36:02

survive. It's been really important to

36:04

focus on that history. But we're

36:06

also people. There's so

36:09

much to be said about the

36:11

beauty of everyday life. And

36:13

in particular, what fascinates me about

36:15

this time, about the people

36:18

who came right after slavery, who were

36:20

born free, this first and second and

36:22

third generations, they're imagining

36:24

what being black could be. And

36:26

they're trying on a lot of

36:28

different identities. They're trying real estate

36:31

investments, maybe they're failing. Farmers and

36:33

businessmen and trying out

36:38

traveling. There's a lot of people, the

36:41

papers, especially in Chicago, would tell stories,

36:43

they'd send their correspondence around the world.

36:45

And they would just write back stories

36:47

of this is what life looks like in

36:50

London. Did you know there are black people

36:52

in Italy? And people are wondering, could a

36:54

black person travel? Could a black person be

36:56

a writer? Some of these papers published short

36:59

fiction. I love to read

37:01

these papers and see them imagine

37:03

what black life could be. I

37:05

never imagined that they were dreaming

37:07

so big. I think my picture

37:10

is just that they're suffering,

37:12

but they're imagining so much for us. And

37:14

we're living that now. And that's

37:16

what I really love about visiting the

37:18

past in this way. Are

37:20

you saying that I'm going

37:22

to hate myself? I know,

37:24

I know. Go ahead. We

37:26

are ancestors while this.

37:40

Nicole Hill is a storyteller who

37:42

hosts the podcast, the secret

37:44

adventures of black people. Thank you for coming on.

37:46

This was so much fun. Thank you for having

37:48

me. I'm sorry that I didn't find you a

37:50

better boo. All

37:53

right. This was an absolute delight.

37:55

I've learned a lot and

37:58

I learned not to. underestimate

38:01

me. Or the

38:03

stars. And that's

38:08

our show. You can follow

38:10

us on Instagram at NPR Code

38:12

Switch. If email is more your

38:14

thing, ours is code switch at

38:16

npr.org. And don't forget

38:18

to subscribe to our newsletter. You

38:20

can do that at npr.org/code switch

38:22

newsletter. And subscribe to the podcast

38:25

on the NPR app or wherever

38:27

you get your podcast. And

38:29

we just wanted to give a quick shout

38:31

out to our Code Switch Plus listeners. We

38:33

appreciate y'all. Thank you for being subscribers. When

38:35

you subscribe to Code Switch Plus, it means

38:37

you get to listen to all of our

38:39

episodes without sponsor breaks. And it also helps

38:41

support our show. So if you rock with

38:43

us, if you like our work, please consider

38:45

signing up at plus.mpr.org/code. This

38:47

episode was produced by Jess Kong.

38:49

It was edited by Leah Denella.

38:51

Our engineer was Maggie Luther. And

38:54

a big shout out to the rest of the

38:56

Code Switch massive Christina Kala, Xavier

38:58

Lopez, Dalia Martada, Virlin

39:01

Williams, and Loyly Diner. I'm

39:04

BA Parker. I'm Gene Dembe.

39:06

Be my Valentine. Be easy.

39:09

Share a glass and hydrate. God.

39:17

Ooh, somebody see white and black. Okay. I

39:19

know, I have to summon. Oh, okay.

39:21

So this is why don't get

39:23

too much away. I'm sorry. So

39:26

it is like the BLK app after

39:28

all. Have you

39:31

been on the FRO? Yeah. It's all of a

39:33

sudden a random ass white man is in the mix.

39:35

And I'm like, where did Mike

39:37

come from? This message

39:40

comes from NPR sponsor Walden University.

39:42

Do you want to create real

39:44

change in your life, career and

39:46

community? Then you need to create

39:49

skills that set you up for

39:51

real world success. Walden University's online

39:53

programs provide hands on learning opportunities

39:55

that mirror the challenges that you'll

39:57

face in the field. Your future.

40:00

waiting and Walden is here

40:02

to make sure you're ready

40:04

for it. Take the first

40:06

step. Visit WaldenU.edu. Walden University.

40:08

Set a course for change.

40:12

I'm glad you said that because nobody says that.

40:15

Can I just say thank you to you

40:17

for such a thoughtful interview? Oh my

40:19

god yeah I think you nailed it. Bullseye.

40:22

Interviews with creators you love and creators

40:24

you need to know. Listen

40:26

to the Bullseye podcast only from

40:28

NPR and Maximum Fun.