0:00

Experience the flavors of Latin America

0:02

event at Whole Foods Market, with

0:04

deals on vibrant ingredients and zesty

0:06

creations store-wide. Save on no antibiotics

0:08

ever meat like chicken thighs and

0:10

marinated skirt steak, fresh avocados, plus

0:12

street food-inspired items and more through

0:14

March 24th. 25th. Lasting

0:16

Lasting impact starts here. With

0:18

the Home Depot Re-Toole-Your School

0:20

grants, classrooms become modern learning

0:22

labs. Innovation lounges spark creativity

0:24

while welcoming common areas bring

0:26

everyone together. For nearly two

0:28

decades, Re-Toole-Your School has awarded

0:30

millions in grants, turning ideas

0:32

into action and creating spaces

0:34

where students thrive. Every grant

0:36

goes beyond upgrading spaces. It

0:38

uplifts HBCUs and strengthens their

0:40

communities and strengthens their communities because

0:43

real impact doesn't just start, it

0:45

lasts. It lasts. grants

0:47

at retooliorschool.com. Hey Conan

0:50

O'Brien here. Usually in this

0:52

slot we we air a fan

0:54

interaction episode, but we're not going

0:56

to do that. We've had a

0:58

lot of requests out there from

1:00

people to talk about... my recent

1:03

experience hosting the Oscars. It is

1:05

only been about a week by

1:07

the time this airs, a week

1:09

or so, a week and a

1:11

half since I hosted the Oscars.

1:13

We're taping this a bit earlier

1:15

several days after the show aired.

1:17

So it's still fresh in our

1:19

minds and... I am joined to

1:21

go over this experience with my

1:23

headwriter of many, many, many years.

1:26

Some say too many years. Too

1:28

many. Mike Sweeney. Mike Sweeney has

1:30

been with me almost since the

1:32

very beginning of my late night

1:34

show. He waited a little bit

1:36

to see if it would survive

1:38

or not. And then when he

1:40

saw that it was probably going to

1:42

make it, he came aboard. So

1:45

he is a coward. But Mike

1:47

Sweeney came, has been with the

1:49

coward part. Yeah, Mike Sweeney has

1:51

been with me for a long

1:53

time and 30 years. 30 years.

1:55

11 of them quite pleasant.

1:58

And we worked together. the

2:00

Oscars along with Jeff Ross and

2:02

Mike Sweeney led the creative team

2:04

and people seemed very happy with

2:07

how it went. I had a blast

2:09

doing it and one of the reasons

2:11

I think I was able to enjoy

2:13

myself so much as I knew I

2:15

had. We worked very hard to get

2:17

material that we liked and

2:19

I think the call came in from

2:22

the Oscars in late November. It was

2:24

the day after we got back from...

2:26

Spain. Yeah, shooting a travel episode

2:28

in Spain and I got a call

2:30

and I called you and I said

2:32

I'll I'll do it but you got

2:35

to be on board. I just laughed

2:37

really hard. You laughed really hard for

2:39

a long time when you said they

2:41

just got a call they said would

2:43

you want to host the Oscars? Why

2:46

are you laughing? Just because the timing

2:48

of it, we were so busy. We

2:50

were so busy. We were so busy.

2:52

You got really sick in Spain along

2:54

with a few other people and also

2:57

just the, it just seemed to random

2:59

out of lift. Yeah, I could not.

3:01

It was not on our radar. It

3:03

was not on our radar. Not on

3:05

the radar. It was as if I

3:07

had been. It was as if I

3:09

had got a call that said we

3:12

want you to be the new Miss

3:14

America. Right, exactly. It was that random

3:16

and from left field. I would have

3:18

laughed less. So, um, I said yes

3:20

and then we quickly had to go

3:22

and tape. HBO Max very kindly said,

3:24

okay, we're supposed to finish this travel

3:27

season. So yes, go host

3:29

the Oscars, but can you

3:31

knock this other travel show

3:33

off very quickly? Squeeze it

3:35

in quickly. So we immediately

3:37

dashed to Austria and we're

3:39

shooting a show in Austria

3:41

when I get the call

3:43

that my father had passed

3:46

away. So I rush home

3:48

and then while I'm home, I see

3:50

that my mom is going too

3:52

and she went three days later

3:54

and that was an experience

3:56

that was very intense

3:59

and A bunch of you were

4:01

very kindly flew out for that,

4:03

which blew my mind, and I

4:06

still thank you for that. That

4:08

means the world to me. Of

4:10

course. Eduardo and Ocho. It was

4:12

duly noted Eduardo. Yeah. I called

4:15

for you during the eulogy. I

4:17

said, and of course Eduardo, Eduardo,

4:19

Eduardo. I'm so sorry. Yeah, Eduardo,

4:21

sure, sure, whatever. The funeral is

4:24

not properly miked. Yeah, he didn't.

4:26

Well, I'm glad you can laugh

4:28

at my parents' death. No, no,

4:30

I'm kidding. I'm laughing too. And

4:32

that's, they would have wanted that.

4:34

Who knows? No, I don't think

4:36

so. You know, while you were

4:38

gone, you left. Austria and we

4:40

were we had to stay there

4:42

another few days. Oh I'm so

4:44

sorry that must have been tough.

4:46

Well yeah we had to go

4:48

on to Vienna. Yeah. I had

4:50

to go on Jules. I had

4:52

to go more and my parents

4:54

while you guys went to Vienna

4:56

and shot B-roll and drank Schnaps.

4:58

Yeah. Just so you understand it wasn't

5:01

just you that had a difficult journey.

5:03

Exactly. So then the van was kind

5:05

of crap. But we shot we were

5:08

like what do we do so we...

5:10

I don't even know if we talked

5:12

to you about this. We shot something

5:14

with Jordan. Yeah, that I'm not in.

5:16

Yeah, that you haven't seen. Yeah, I'm

5:18

cutting it without even seeing it.

5:21

Yeah. So then there's a real

5:23

role here because that rolled right

5:25

into, right into Christmas, felt like

5:27

days after, which rolled right into

5:29

January, which rolled right into the

5:32

fires. I've been living in a

5:34

hotel since then. Right. And so

5:36

I remembered us. noticing that the

5:38

Oscars are getting closer and closer

5:40

and because of all this madness

5:43

we haven't been able to get

5:45

together in a room and Get

5:47

going and so You were instrumental

5:49

in putting together We I mean some

5:51

of the names were obvious because it's

5:54

people you and I had worked with

5:56

for a long time, but I think

5:58

we put together a murder of writers.

6:00

Amazing. Amazing writers. We just laughed.

6:02

I missed being in a room

6:04

with this crew. Oh man. And

6:06

we all stumbled downstairs in this

6:08

building. It's a big conference room

6:11

there and we just would laugh

6:13

all day. I would come in

6:15

and it was therapy for me

6:17

because I would come in and

6:19

anyone who knows me knows that

6:21

I am like a fish in

6:23

water. in tropical water when I'm

6:25

in a writer's room. I'm just

6:27

so happy to be around writers

6:29

and to be joking around, usually

6:31

riffing on things that could never

6:33

make it into an Oscar show.

6:36

And there was plenty of that.

6:38

Yes. But... And that was a

6:40

good shorthand to bring this crew

6:42

back that had already written for

6:44

you. So that- Yes, they knew,

6:46

they knew my style. And also

6:48

just goofing around, like, you know,

6:50

it was just an instant shorthand.

6:52

Brian Kylie, Matt O'Brien, Laurie, Larry

6:54

Kilmartin, Dan Cronin, Dan Cronin, Jesse

6:56

Gascal and Jose Arroyo. We'll also

6:58

work on the travel shows. Yeah.

7:01

Skyler, Higley. Yep. And did we

7:03

mention Brian Kylie? Oh, and by

7:05

the way, yes, twice. Brian Kylie

7:07

was also there. And then also

7:09

Brian and Kylie, Kylie, comma. Oh,

7:11

and Scott Gardner came in to

7:13

help shoot some of the amazing,

7:15

he's amazing, and he helped give

7:17

a great look to some of

7:19

the things. Scott Gardner was a

7:21

writer, yeah, on the TVS show,

7:23

Josh Comers, fantastic. Do we mention

7:26

Kylie, Brian Kyl? Yes. But also,

7:28

Berkeley Johnson. Berkeley Johnson. And you

7:30

should see Berkley's Johnson. A joke

7:32

I've been doing for 15 years

7:34

and it's always better. I was,

7:36

it's so satisfying, but we have

7:38

to tell this story. Skyler Higgly

7:40

wrote the Drake joke. The half-time,

7:42

the half-time joke. the Oscars, which

7:44

means it's time for Kendrick Lamar

7:46

to come out and call Jacob

7:48

pedophile. And he wrote that joke.

7:51

And today I was, I mean,

7:53

this has happened to me a

7:55

couple of times, but I walked

7:57

to some store this morning to

7:59

get a cup of coffee, and

8:01

this young black gentleman came up

8:03

to me and went, corner, I

8:05

gotta ask you, did you write

8:07

that? that joke about Drake and

8:09

I said I did not. That

8:11

is the handy work of Skyler

8:14

Higgly and I got to give

8:16

it up. I'm not that well

8:18

versed in the rap battles but

8:20

I got major props from this

8:22

gentleman. Excellent. And but we started

8:24

working and then just generating ideas

8:26

and it's the same it's the

8:28

same thing we've done back when

8:30

we would do Emmy shows or

8:32

any kind of Comic-Con shows which

8:34

is just generate thousands of ideas

8:36

and throw most of them out.

8:39

We had so many ideas that

8:41

like you can't get too attached

8:43

to any idea because you just

8:45

know that things are going to

8:47

get cut. For example we had

8:49

a whole big... Cold open that

8:51

we loved and it was not

8:53

the substance cold open that we

8:55

know it was a different one

8:57

and it was basically hammered out

8:59

before The fires the idea of

9:01

it before the fires happened and

9:04

then even after that we kind

9:06

of honed it and it would

9:08

have been like three or four

9:10

minutes long and it was you

9:12

yeah it be starting out in

9:14

wicked so you're in a it

9:16

was it was the idea that

9:18

I'm gonna oh Kona's now gonna

9:20

goof on all the movies yes

9:22

and so it starts with me

9:24

and I'm all green in wicked

9:26

finishing the fine gravity or one

9:29

of those songs and I finish

9:31

it and then you see you

9:33

cut to the next thing which

9:35

is Gladiator and and clang clang

9:37

clang with swords and then you

9:39

see that I'm a gladiator but

9:41

then you notice that I'm still

9:43

green and then you go on

9:45

to Conclave and you see people

9:47

voting with their ballots and then

9:49

one of the hands is still

9:51

green and then people and then

9:54

you cut to me in June

9:56

and One of the carrier have

9:58

your bardem is saying I can't

10:00

hear you take because they all

10:02

wear those masks in the sand

10:04

take it off and I finally

10:06

take it What's your problem man

10:08

and I take it off and

10:10

I'm green and he's like what

10:12

the hell man? Did you start?

10:14

this with wicked and I went

10:16

yeah we and this stuff doesn't

10:19

come off and the whole thing

10:21

is that the die wouldn't come

10:23

off and we had to shoot

10:25

it all in one day and

10:27

it was kind of a conceptual

10:29

idea which we were but we

10:31

thought oh this is we can

10:33

carry this through the whole thing

10:35

where then all the characters in

10:37

every movie that inhabited are laughing

10:39

at me and giving me a

10:42

hard time because I started out

10:44

as green. Including nose ferret, too.

10:46

They're all piling on me. Like,

10:48

you don't start with green. Everyone

10:50

knows that stuff doesn't... Everyone knows

10:52

that stuff doesn't come off. You

10:54

shoot, you to shoot the wicked

10:56

at the end. I know, but

10:58

we had one day and no

11:00

one told me. That's a good

11:02

Bill Scarz. Thank you. So we

11:04

thought, so we thought that that

11:07

was... We're like, oh yeah, this

11:09

is the idea. And then we

11:11

realized this is so complicated to

11:13

shoot and it takes so many

11:15

different setups and started to kind

11:17

of fall out of. Well, it

11:19

was more, but also then the

11:21

Oscars said we're opening, because of

11:23

the fires with this big musical

11:25

tribute and that we were like,

11:27

wait, you. You can't go five

11:29

minute musical tribute and then go

11:32

into a five or four minute.

11:34

So we needed something quick. We

11:36

needed something quick. So I was

11:38

obsessed, always obsessed with coming out

11:40

of Demi Moore's back. Right. Since

11:42

I was a child. No. I

11:44

just, I've had that visual of

11:46

my hair coming out of my

11:48

head was something I was obsessed

11:50

with and that ended up being

11:52

good. But it's one of the

11:54

things you learn, which is that

11:57

you constantly, it's not just, it's

11:59

with. monologue jokes and it's also

12:01

with bits and this is just

12:03

more about the process don't fall

12:05

in love with anything because also

12:07

the times change you know if

12:09

something is eight weeks out or

12:11

nine weeks out what's funny now

12:13

isn't the story four weeks later

12:15

so so many of the narratives

12:17

kept changing with the Oscars race

12:19

that and things would seem funny

12:22

now but then not later and

12:24

then we got a lot of

12:26

clarity because I started going out

12:28

to different clubs right and doing

12:30

jokes and I could see which

12:32

ones consistently work well. That was

12:34

incredibly helpful. And I think also

12:36

just, you know, for just confidence

12:38

in that, oh no, these jokes

12:40

are good. Karmax

12:46

knows that finding the right car is

12:48

all about exploring your options, like the

12:50

option to shop your way on your

12:53

schedule. At Karmax, you can browse, compare

12:55

and pre-qualify online, then finish up at

12:57

the store. Or simply start on the

12:59

lot. The choice is yours, because at

13:02

Karmax, you're in the driver's seat. Start

13:04

the search for your next car today,

13:06

at Karmax, the way car buying should

13:09

be. Lasting impact

13:11

starts here. With the Home

13:13

Depot Re-Toole-Your School grants, classrooms

13:15

become modern learning labs. Innovation

13:17

lounges spark creativity while welcoming

13:19

common areas bring everyone together.

13:21

For nearly two decades, Re-Toole-Your

13:23

School has awarded millions in

13:25

grants, turning ideas into action

13:27

and creating spaces where students

13:29

thrive. Every grant goes beyond

13:31

upgrading spaces. It uplifts HBCUs

13:33

and strengthens their communities and strengthens

13:36

their communities because real impact doesn't

13:38

just start, it lasts. It lasts.

13:47

The audiences were very nice because

13:49

I would go out and say

13:51

I mean I know Nikki Glazer

13:53

does this as well But it's

13:55

a very good tool to go

13:57

out and try things out with

13:59

an audience But I would say

14:01

please don't record this and they

14:03

wouldn't right right which was really

14:05

nice because all they'd have someone

14:08

have to do is put that

14:10

online and you're completely screwed. Well,

14:12

the other lay in mind, which

14:14

I didn't think about, I wasn't

14:16

really aware of, is like I've

14:18

heard the term award season, but

14:20

it never, I was like, well,

14:22

award season. There was a different

14:24

award show. So once we were

14:26

going to go to a club

14:28

and they're like, oh, sure, you're

14:30

going on after so-and-so who's hosting

14:32

the D. You know, Judd Appetow

14:34

is hosting the D.G. Awards, he's

14:36

going to do his monologue first.

14:38

And he's just like, wow, there's

14:40

so many. Right. We can't even

14:42

be there when he does his

14:44

because we don't want to hear

14:46

something like we can't be influenced.

14:48

We want to make sure there's

14:50

no overlap. comics out hosting the

14:52

spirit awards and they're doing the

14:54

circuit and trying jokes about so

14:56

you have to wait until and

14:59

if anyone does any joke you

15:01

can't do that joke then obviously

15:03

it's gone so we had a

15:05

couple of areas where we're just

15:07

like now we can't do that

15:09

we can't it's gone now because

15:11

someone else did it so the

15:13

whole thing was fascinating but I

15:15

have to say the real education

15:17

The real behind the scenes education

15:19

was, you know, the academy of

15:21

motion pictures. Yes. They are very

15:23

serious about certain things. Right. And

15:25

we had this real lesson in.

15:27

And again, I don't fault them.

15:29

I'm just, this is what they

15:31

do. The Oscar, the Oscar, the

15:33

Oscar, the image of Oscar is

15:35

very important to them and there'd

15:37

be times where we'd be shooting

15:39

bits to promote the Oscar. Promos,

15:41

to run on ABC, or to

15:43

go on the internet that would,

15:45

you know, promote the Oscar. And

15:47

I remember there was a giant

15:50

Oscar statue and I shot something

15:52

with it. It was really fun.

15:54

And at one point, and at

15:56

one point, I said it would

15:58

be really funny. It was about

16:00

Oscar and I. sharing an apartment

16:02

and we don't get along our

16:04

marriages crumbling and This was actually

16:06

out there. They ended up releasing

16:08

it and I ended, thought it

16:10

came out pretty well. But it's

16:12

just a nine-foot Oscar and I

16:14

bickering. And he has, of course,

16:16

the Oscar's not doing anything. It's

16:18

just standing there like a statue

16:20

and I'm saying, what happened to

16:22

our marriage? And we're fighting about

16:24

things that couples fight about. But

16:26

at one point I thought, oh,

16:28

this will be really great if

16:30

the Oscar was just on the

16:32

Oscar was just on the couch.

16:34

lift your feet or could you

16:36

at least get up and help

16:38

load the dishwasher and we wanted

16:40

to do it and they just

16:43

said no no no that can't

16:45

happen and I said there was

16:47

whispering there was whispering in this

16:49

big room and then one of

16:51

the people from the academy came

16:53

forward and said Oscar can never

16:55

be horizontal and that blew my

16:57

mind like wow this is like

16:59

the thighbone of St. Peter you

17:01

this is a religious icon But,

17:03

um... And we try to put

17:05

an apron when it was serving

17:07

you leftovers, and they're like, no

17:09

clothing on Oscar. Yeah, Oscar's always

17:11

naked. So he's always naked, but

17:13

he won't lie down. Yeah. There's

17:15

rules. I don't know. Oh, no.

17:17

There's rules. There's rules. There's rules.

17:19

There's a lot of rules with

17:21

Oscar, and then you realize, oh,

17:23

this award ceremony has been around

17:25

since 1929. Right. sort of shorthand

17:27

for what can and can't happen,

17:29

but they ended up being very

17:31

helpful. I want to stress that.

17:34

They let us... Everyone was great.

17:36

They were great and the ABC

17:38

people were fantastic. And the producers

17:40

we worked with, Roger and Katie,

17:42

they would just make anything happen.

17:44

They would just anything we said,

17:46

they would say yes, let's... That

17:48

sounds funny, let's make it happen.

17:50

So the day we met them,

17:52

they were so nice. I was

17:54

like, uh, this is the classic

17:56

ropeidope. Yeah, this is a trick.

17:58

The first time we asked for

18:00

some, you know, and they were

18:02

amazing, right? Yeah. Every step of

18:04

the way. But it just kept

18:06

getting, my experience of it was.

18:08

Once I said yes, I would

18:10

always wake up at three in

18:12

the morning and look at the

18:14

ceiling and go, what? That's a,

18:16

what? What? I said yes to

18:18

what? And then it takes about

18:20

an hour and a half to

18:22

get back to sleep. And that's

18:25

just the deal. That's just what

18:27

it's like. I talked to a

18:29

few others, some of the writers,

18:31

and I was waking up at

18:33

three, thinking of things that either.

18:35

were still up in the air

18:37

or that I forgot to do

18:39

that day. They came to me

18:41

at three in the morning. I

18:43

said, just, and then I couldn't

18:45

go back to sleep until this

18:47

week. Oh, it was, it was

18:49

this week. Yeah, I have been,

18:51

I have been, I refuse to,

18:53

I mean, we finished, it's now

18:55

Friday, we did, Sunday night was

18:57

the show and it's been. My

18:59

wife is just, I'm, I'm, I

19:01

am horizontal all the time. I'm

19:03

glad, I know Oster can't be,

19:05

but I- She doesn't like you

19:07

horizontal. Yeah, I, never has. The,

19:09

the response was really lovely and

19:11

then just, but the thing I

19:13

keep going back to is, is

19:16

the lighting. The lighting is insane.

19:18

It's the best lighting I've ever

19:20

had. It's the best lighting I

19:22

ever will have. And it's Bobby

19:24

Dickinson and Noah Mintz and they

19:26

kept, they were like looking at

19:28

my face and touching little dials

19:30

and adjusting things during the rehearsals

19:32

and they also adjusted my face

19:34

manually. But. I swear to God,

19:36

I looked at myself in a

19:38

monitor at one point in rehearsal

19:40

and I'm like, who's that guy?

19:42

It's not me. And I know

19:44

online people were speculating, you know,

19:46

did Conan get some work done

19:48

or something? It's called lighting. It's

19:50

called lighting, which by the way,

19:52

if you've checked out the podcast.

19:54

This is not Oscar lighting and

19:56

also we do these travel shows

19:58

and I'm always I'm always my

20:00

brand of comedy has always been

20:02

Hey, this this could be really

20:04

funny. Let's just go do it

20:07

right and we shoot it with

20:09

No thought towards lighting or I'll

20:11

run into a 7-Eleven and do

20:13

something. It's a documentary cruise It's

20:15

a documentary cruise style as if

20:17

it were a war zone right

20:19

so I always look like You

20:21

know a toy that a dog

20:23

got a hold of and shoot

20:25

up and then suddenly I step

20:27

out there and hit my mark

20:29

and I'm a 19 year old

20:31

You looked great. And then I

20:33

step, and then I step, and

20:35

then I step out of it.

20:37

It's like, oh, oh, the old

20:39

pumpkin's back. Oh, boom. That's an

20:41

intimidating room to be up on

20:43

that stage and looking at all

20:45

those people must have been. I

20:47

think you're in the audience. So

20:49

what was it like in the

20:51

audience? Were you scared for me?

20:53

Yeah, I was really um... You

20:55

can say it. I know I

20:58

was a little nervous for you

21:00

and it was weird not to

21:02

work it. It's one of the,

21:04

you know, those big events that

21:06

I would normally have worked. I

21:08

didn't work at the event. You

21:10

brought Tack? I brought Tack and

21:12

we were sitting next to Kurt

21:14

Russell and Goldie Hunt. Oh wow!

21:16

Oh wow! What was that like?

21:18

We were behind the complete on

21:20

your own cast. They are so

21:22

much fun. Yeah, we were in

21:24

the fourth row. Ariana Grande and

21:26

Cynthia River were just a few

21:28

rows ahead of us. Wait, your

21:30

seats were much better than I

21:32

said. These are not the seats.

21:34

I think you made a mistake.

21:36

I think I do. I really

21:38

think you made a mistake. Right.

21:40

Yeah. And I just didn't move

21:42

the whole time because I was

21:44

like, I can't. And I'm like

21:46

stop talking you can't do that

21:49

here. It's the author who sat

21:51

behind you? Uh behind Oprah Oprah

21:53

Oprah Oprah Oprah Oprah Winfrey had

21:55

to look through your big hair

21:57

to try and see who had

21:59

won an Oscar. How did that

22:01

happen? So you know Erica Brown

22:03

was there as well who works

22:05

on the show and I was

22:07

like we have to get you

22:09

to meet Oprah so we were

22:11

following her. And we have I've

22:13

introduced Erica Brown to former first

22:15

lady Michelle Obama twice twice. Yeah

22:17

and you know she's from Jack

22:19

in Mississippi. Everybody back home is

22:21

just like, oh my God. And

22:23

so, you know, I was like,

22:25

well, just walk by her and

22:27

I'll like push you into her.

22:29

You know, like just like, well,

22:31

that's a good idea. She shoved

22:33

you into her. Yeah. And you're

22:35

telling Tack to be quiet. So

22:37

what did you do? So what

22:40

happened? And then she just disappeared.

22:42

Yeah, she's. And I think she

22:44

went out like a special exit,

22:46

you know. Well, she has trap

22:48

doors installed. Before she goes people

22:50

show up and install trap doors.

22:52

She helped design it. It was

22:54

really exciting to just be there

22:56

in the audience watching you and

22:58

just like hearing the jokes for

23:00

the first time. You know, I

23:02

mean it was it was awesome.

23:04

It was really really cool and

23:06

everybody around was talking about how

23:08

great you were doing. It was

23:10

fun. It was to have an

23:12

orchestra. Yeah, they were amazing. You

23:14

get spoiled between the lighting and

23:16

an orchestra. And high, that's the

23:18

first time they put the orchestra

23:20

that was high, right? That was

23:22

amazing. That was so cool. It

23:24

was really cool. And they had

23:26

a trap door, adoculus had opened

23:28

to reveal the orchestra up on

23:31

the... It was very, it was

23:33

neat. Yeah. Yeah, kind of it.

23:35

And they had a bond tribute

23:37

for no good reason other than

23:39

I assume it was for you?

23:41

Yeah. I have some notes. Let's

23:43

hear it. No. How much of

23:45

the show? Do you guys write?

23:47

Is it just? That is the

23:49

joke. Well, no, anything I'm doing,

23:51

we wrote. Yeah, but like the

23:53

rest of the Oscars. No, they

23:55

have a great, they have a

23:57

very good team. Right. Head it

23:59

up by John Max. And who

24:01

works on it. Man. He worked

24:03

on every award show. He's working

24:05

on one right now, I'm sure.

24:07

He is. He is. The Soul

24:09

Train Awards. He's working on the

24:11

Mark Twain Awards. I said Soul

24:13

Train. Okay, but I'm just, I'm

24:15

a stickler for accuracy. So, the

24:17

Soul Twain. Yeah. And so, um,

24:19

Zachalfan, I guess did that very

24:22

joke in one of the clubs

24:24

I was in. Oh, sorry. It's

24:26

okay. It's okay. I just want

24:28

to make sure that he doesn't

24:30

think we ripped him. We ripped

24:32

him off. We ripped him off.

24:34

Yeah, I have to say that

24:36

was a that was a of

24:38

all that was a that was

24:40

a highlight probably in a long

24:42

career that was just so oh

24:44

yeah it was so fun and

24:46

and then but I just was

24:48

thinking light it the lighting is

24:50

amazing is this orchestra everyone in

24:52

the crowds wearing a tuxedo and

24:54

I mean you hosted the Emmys

24:56

twice yeah that's true right but

24:58

but but yes this So it's

25:00

like, oh, well, okay, you know

25:02

how to do that. But then,

25:04

I don't know, they're just, it

25:06

was a different level of getting

25:08

scared before something. You get intense.

25:10

You get intense. You get intense

25:13

beforehand. It's a big game. Because

25:15

then you know, people are watching

25:17

like, whatever, around the world or

25:19

something. Well, I wonder, I'm like,

25:21

why are you so out of

25:23

your... Mind or waking up at

25:25

3am and then afterwards you're like,

25:27

oh, that's why because it really

25:29

is highly scrutinized. What's it like

25:31

backstage? Oh, that's interesting. Is it

25:33

chaos? Is it controlled? No, it

25:35

is a machine. My experience of

25:37

it was that the way they

25:39

have it set up is the

25:41

winners drift off stage right and

25:43

that they're taken into a whole

25:45

You know, it's like a digestive

25:47

system. It's like they're taken through,

25:49

they're taken through the winners walk,

25:51

then they're taken right into a

25:53

press, there's a quick, I think,

25:55

glam shots, then they're taken into

25:57

the press room, then they're taken

25:59

this way, and I'm on the

26:01

other side, mostly, I'm either going

26:04

to send, but I'm always coming

26:06

off from. from stage left. So

26:08

I'm coming out to either my

26:10

mark on stage left or to

26:12

the center. So there's not a

26:14

lot of interaction. But every now

26:16

and then you'd have this amazing

26:18

moment. And the one for me

26:20

was I'm backstage and I'm watching

26:22

the monitor because you're just watching

26:24

the monitor in between I'll go

26:26

and talk to the writers and

26:28

we'll think what could be a

26:30

funny idea, what could be a

26:32

funny thing we could say here.

26:34

We were constantly trying to think

26:36

of what's something that could come

26:38

up. What's happening in the show

26:40

and what can we comment on?

26:42

But every now and then, there's

26:44

not much to do. We know

26:46

which the next joke is. It's

26:48

not for 10 more minutes. So

26:50

I'm sitting there, stage left, and

26:52

I'm looking at my monitor, and

26:55

I'm just aware of like a

26:57

presence to my left, and I

26:59

kind of just look over, and

27:01

it's this guy, and I immediately

27:03

see that it's McJagger. and who

27:05

I've never met, and Mick Jagger

27:07

looks at me and he starts

27:09

nudging me. And in kind of

27:11

a comic American voice, he's like,

27:13

hey, hey, how's a crowd? How's

27:15

a crowd? How's a crowd? How's

27:17

a crowd out there? How's a

27:19

crowd doing? How's a crowd doing?

27:21

How's a crowd doing? How's a

27:23

crowd doing? How's a crowd doing?

27:25

How are they? How are they?

27:27

because you're Mick Jagger. And he

27:29

went, oh no, no, I'm not

27:31

going to try and do a

27:33

Mick Jagger, but he said, I

27:35

always worry about the crowd. And

27:37

I said, wait a minute. So

27:39

you're with the Rolling Stones and

27:41

you're in Buenos Aires and you're

27:43

getting ready to come out and

27:46

start the show and you're going

27:48

to start off with satisfaction and

27:50

you're anxious that the crowd isn't

27:52

going to be good. And he

27:54

said, oh, no, definitely, I wear

27:56

an airpiece. And... I listen to

27:58

the crowd and sometimes I can

28:00

tell the crowd isn't quite there

28:02

yet and I have to give

28:04

it a little extra up front

28:06

and I was so relieved because

28:08

I realize obviously he's 35 levels

28:10

beyond me, but nothing ever goes

28:12

away. Meaning I've had many people

28:14

give me a hard time because

28:16

I'm in a small gathering and

28:18

I'm supposed to get up and

28:20

give a toast and Liza can

28:22

tell I'm anxious and I'm getting

28:24

worked up and I'm getting worked

28:26

up and I'm looking around the

28:28

room to see is this a

28:30

good room? And she's like, it's

28:32

a dinner party. What are you

28:34

doing? And I'm like, it just

28:37

never goes away. You're always worried

28:39

about that stuff. And to hear

28:41

that Mick jagger. Who's I believe

28:43

81? The front man for the

28:45

Rolling Stones is asking people how's

28:47

the asking me how's the crowd

28:49

you think I'll be all right

28:51

out there. I don't know it's

28:53

gonna be touch and go for

28:55

you man lighting Yeah, exactly yeah,

28:57

but he I mean I was

28:59

kind of intimidated because I didn't

29:01

know what he would be like

29:03

he was incredibly nice He said

29:05

to me at one point, oh

29:07

and by the way, we've never

29:09

met. And I'm like, he, how

29:11

do you know you've never met

29:13

me? Isn't your life just a

29:15

blur of occasionally an orange person

29:17

comes by? He was lovely. He

29:19

was great and funny and thoughtful

29:21

and I had a great exchange

29:23

with him and then I knew

29:25

I need to end this. Like

29:28

don't hang on too long. So

29:30

I said, well, anyway, wonderful, lovely.

29:32

It was very nice to meet

29:34

you too and I. I walk

29:36

away and I think Ruthie has

29:38

me walking away from him. And

29:40

I saw that Ruthie was filming

29:42

it and I just walk up

29:44

and go like, okay, that just

29:46

fucking blew my mouth. Yeah, that's

29:48

pretty crazy. Back into the tent

29:50

with the riders. Yeah. Bacon egg

29:52

and cheese mick riddles or fluffy

29:54

hot cakes. What do you think

29:56

all all if you set all

29:58

the above then you are Correct.

30:00

You win nothing. Anyway, with McDonald's

30:02

Breakfast, you just, you can't go

30:04

wrong. How can you go wrong?

30:06

You can't pick a wrong thing

30:08

from that lineup. Even if you

30:10

want to pair a diet Coke

30:12

with your egg McMuffin, no judgment,

30:14

not from me, not from you,

30:16

not from anybody. So wake up.

30:19

Sorry, that was too aggressive. So

30:21

angry. Wake up. It's time for

30:23

McDonald's Breakfast. One

30:25

of the hardest parts about P2B marketing

30:27

is reaching the right audience. You put

30:29

so much effort into a campaign only

30:31

for it to get wasted on the

30:33

wrong people. I know. Like I'm trying

30:36

to sell my coal miners hat and

30:38

it goes to a dance troop. That's

30:40

no good. It's just stupid. That's where

30:42

LinkedIn ads come in. Fortunately, LinkedIn is

30:44

a network of over one billion, one

30:47

billion, but you can't even count that

30:49

high. I can't. I can't either. Wait

30:51

as a network of over one billion

30:53

business- billion businessy people. You might actually

30:56

be interested in your business. You can

30:58

even target your buyers by job title,

31:00

industry, company, role, seniority, skills, company revenues.

31:02

Did I say job title? I think

31:04

I did. Just stop wasting budget on

31:07

the wrong audience. That's just stupid. Start

31:09

targeting the right professionals with LinkedIn ads.

31:11

LinkedIn will give you a $100 credit

31:13

on the next campaign so you can

31:15

try it yourself. Just go to linkedin.com/team

31:18

cocoa. Gyms and indigenous Dubai only on

31:20

LinkedIn ads. Were

31:23

you guys in a tent? We

31:25

were, it's kind of a black

31:27

duvetine, kind of roped off area.

31:30

And we had monitors and we

31:32

had a, you know, we had

31:34

the scroll of the script. And

31:36

so we would, like after flow

31:38

one, Brian Kali had a joke

31:40

about. You know, it's the first

31:42

one for Latvia. Yeah, it's kind

31:44

of like, it's your movie Estonia.

31:46

Yeah, and then on the fly,

31:48

just like, what's the process of

31:50

you doing that and then getting

31:52

that into the teleprompter for him

31:54

in time? Like how much time

31:56

was there? There was this. producer

31:58

named Rachel was right in the

32:00

room with us and she really

32:02

helped with the script along the

32:04

way. During the show we our

32:06

script guy John Kirtow who we

32:09

could not have done any of

32:11

this. He's a hero. He came

32:13

out from New York just to

32:15

work on the show which was

32:17

amazing because he worked on the

32:19

whole show. He walked the whole

32:21

way. Because we wouldn't give him

32:23

bus there. Right and he's he's

32:25

right now only in Iowa. He's

32:27

still on his way back. But

32:29

she so we tell Jot. you

32:31

know, okay, let's do this. And

32:33

then she'd talk to the prompter

32:35

person and it would come right

32:37

up and he'd read it and

32:39

be like, get it, okay, you've

32:41

got 10 seconds to get out

32:43

there. There was one, a couple

32:45

of times, yeah. There was a

32:48

moment that I was happy about,

32:50

which is we're, I don't know

32:52

if we're backstage, but it's very,

32:54

just before the show and we

32:56

see. Timmy Shalome coming in, and

32:58

he's wearing a bright bright yellow

33:00

outfit. Red carpet coverage. And he's

33:02

wearing this suit that's just bright

33:04

bright, like creamsicle, yellow. And I

33:06

said, well, he won't get hit

33:08

driving his bike at night. And

33:10

people around me were like, that's

33:12

funny. And so I just kept

33:14

it in my head and I

33:16

walked out there and it was

33:18

one of the first things I

33:20

said like, hey, it's so funny,

33:22

hey, you won't get down in

33:25

your mind. People are like, that's

33:27

not even on a prompter. But

33:29

it was just kind of, it

33:31

was a nice feeling to feel

33:33

like it is the same thing

33:35

as you can just think of

33:37

something and say it and this

33:39

giant important room if it's okay,

33:41

they'll laugh at it. It doesn't

33:43

not all have to come through

33:45

this, this huge process of agony.

33:47

you were very I mean you

33:49

were very loose you know I

33:51

had a few pills in me

33:53

well whatever they worked yeah because

33:55

you were as loose as a

33:57

goose and it was a it

33:59

was a it was a really

34:01

fun night and I have to

34:04

say lots of thanks and gratitude

34:06

to ABC Academy they They really

34:08

did, and the producers, Raj and

34:10

Katie, they made, they took really

34:12

good care of us and they

34:14

seem to know that, yeah, this

34:16

needs to be what Conan wants

34:18

it to be. It's got to

34:20

be in his voice. They were

34:22

very good about that. And everyone

34:24

was very supportive. Michael Bearden, the

34:26

conductor, the musical director. Great, who

34:28

worked out the song with me.

34:30

Yeah, he was great. Yeah, Michael

34:32

Bearden was great. And that's a

34:34

guy that. worked with Whitney Houston

34:36

and Michael Jackson and I mean

34:38

the list of people he's worked

34:40

with is insane so I had

34:43

huge moments of inadequacy saying yeah

34:45

I want to sing this song

34:47

and he would sit down at

34:49

the piano and start and we'd

34:51

be like making it up and

34:53

thinking I'd be working with a

34:55

real musician right you would transpose

34:57

the key on the spot like

34:59

oh okay let's try D flat

35:01

yeah D flat yeah it sounds

35:03

like you're a D flat and

35:05

so But there were so many

35:07

fun things like the sensibility has

35:09

always been we love puppets and

35:11

silliness so we got obsessed with

35:13

sandworm we early on and then

35:15

I kept putting off ordering it

35:17

up I'm like I'm like is

35:20

this we're gonna have a sandworm

35:22

first the sandworm was sitting in

35:24

the audience and I'm like uh

35:26

All right, a sandworm. Oh, and

35:28

then there was one idea where

35:30

the sandworm comes out with an

35:32

envelope and we're like, no, how

35:34

are we going to get, it's

35:36

not going to move, and then

35:38

we realize that... Then it's going

35:40

to come down upside down and

35:42

talk to you. And it's going

35:44

to have lines, and so there's

35:46

just, there's a whole lifeline to

35:48

these things, there's a whole evolution,

35:50

and then finally it became clear.

35:52

Sandworm needs to be in the

35:54

orchestra and needs to have gone

35:56

to the Berkeley School of Music.

35:59

Who played the Sandworm? It was

36:01

a guy who does a creature

36:03

act. Oh, wow. But also, crucial.

36:05

from our team the gentleman the

36:07

artist who who dresses me and

36:09

who Scott Cronick who's been with

36:11

me for years who I married

36:13

you married on television on television

36:15

yes he and his partner in

36:17

New York you officiated the wedding

36:19

yeah right you're not married but

36:21

I also was married to him

36:23

for a while and then Liza

36:25

found out the whole thing went

36:27

south but enhanced your own marriage

36:29

but he built the sandworm and

36:31

so he built it in three

36:33

days and so it was behind

36:35

the harp but then we had

36:38

different ideas for who should be

36:40

behind the piano and it wasn't

36:42

quite working out we couldn't quite

36:44

figure it out and then finally

36:46

it occurred to us the sandworm

36:48

should be the person on the

36:50

piano and then the sandworm can

36:52

show up again on the harp

36:54

as a callback that happened we

36:56

came that happened like the day

36:58

before the day before the austres

37:00

we realized It was that Friday

37:02

that yes, Sandworm should come out

37:04

on the piano first and then

37:06

show up later on on the

37:08

harp because he's a multi-instrumentalist. But

37:10

when he came out, the first

37:12

time we rehearsed that song, rolled

37:15

out on the piano, it was

37:17

such a great reveal, such a

37:19

great, oh, almost as dramatic as

37:21

you coming out of Demi Moore's

37:23

back, it was just like, whoa,

37:25

that's a great tableau. Because you're

37:27

singing in the foreground and there's

37:29

this. A word pounding away at

37:31

the keys. Yeah, it was like,

37:33

okay. But Scott Chronic designed the

37:35

costume and then at the end

37:37

of the show, before the show

37:39

was even over, I think someone

37:41

from the academy said, we'd like

37:43

to keep the sandworm. Like, because

37:45

they have a, because they have

37:47

a museum. Oh, yeah. So, so

37:49

I don't know if it's ever

37:51

going to happen, but if you

37:54

go to the Academy Museum, you

37:56

can see the, you can see

37:58

the, you can see the shark

38:00

from Jaws, you know, you can

38:02

see the, the, the snow globe

38:04

from, from, from the 97th Oscar.

38:06

ruining the museum, dragging it all

38:08

down. I heard they had to

38:10

get rid of the shark from

38:12

jaws to make room. The sandworm.

38:14

It's priorities. But I think they

38:16

have the right. The sandworm ate

38:18

the shark because he's above it

38:20

in the food chain. We mentioned

38:22

Scott Gardner. He directed the substance.

38:24

Yeah. We did an ad parody

38:26

cinema streams. Yeah. Did a great

38:28

job with that. And then he

38:31

shot our two Jeff Bezos arriving.

38:33

Yeah. And Matt Char, and I

38:35

didn't even tell you because I

38:37

thought you'd be like, see what

38:39

he never gets a package again.

38:41

He's petting a white cat. And

38:43

yeah, Matt Char, our travel show

38:45

editor, added him. We were just

38:47

going to list names. We were

38:49

working on the travel shows during,

38:51

well, like we had to come

38:53

in on the weekend and edit

38:55

and I didn't even tell you

38:57

because I thought you'd be like,

38:59

what do you'd be like, why

39:01

are you doing? Every now and

39:03

then Jeff Ross would say something

39:05

like, so anyway, you know, if

39:07

we do end up going to

39:10

India, I'd be like, is that

39:12

about the Oscars? If I'm not

39:14

about the Oscars, I don't want

39:16

to talk about that! Yeah, I

39:18

learned. I'm a real pleasant chap.

39:20

You know what? Yeah, we were

39:22

real pleasant leading up to your

39:24

mind works constantly when you're focused

39:26

on something. And you know, I

39:28

feel like a lot of times

39:30

when you're getting your creative energy

39:32

out, you're just making fun of

39:34

us more than you normally would.

39:36

No, no, no, no, no. Yeah,

39:38

it was just elevated. So it

39:40

was a real joy for all

39:42

of us who work for you.

39:44

It wasn't always easy. to be

39:46

around, Picasso. Okay. But boy, did

39:49

he fill a lot of museums

39:51

with wonderful work, two, three, Picasso

39:53

and a Sandworm. Yeah. Those are

39:55

my muses. But also, Sweeney, weren't

39:57

you, we were in Austria and

39:59

weren't you trying to then pull

40:01

together this writer's room from across

40:03

the world as well as... During

40:05

the day, you would be directing...

40:07

the Austrian show and then at

40:09

night you would come back to

40:11

the hotel and then we would

40:13

all chill and you would be

40:15

going and trying to pull together.

40:17

I was on the phone with

40:19

different writers managers because initially it

40:21

was like... Who are often funnier

40:23

than the writers? Yes, the managers

40:26

were very entertained. They got great

40:28

ideas. They're great to chat with

40:30

in Salzburg. Yeah, and that was

40:32

all coming together over there, yeah.

40:34

But then we ended up, you

40:36

know, we reassembled our old team

40:38

and it's the best move. They're

40:40

the funniest. Yeah, it was so

40:42

much fun. It was great. Incredible.

40:44

Great to have that room. That

40:46

writer's room. Good to see them

40:48

all again. Yeah. It was a

40:50

nice reunion. It was really, really

40:52

nice to see everybody. Also to

40:54

have everything humming where there's a

40:56

writer's room downstairs working on the

40:58

Oscars. I'd be in there joking

41:00

around. Then I'd come up here

41:02

and we would do a podcast.

41:05

Abuse these people. Abuse you guys.

41:07

Abuse people on multiple levels. People

41:09

are going to get the wrong

41:11

idea about me from these jokes

41:13

you're making. Anywho... Can I also

41:15

ask? You went on Kimmel, which

41:17

is really funny, and he gave

41:19

you advice to sit down. Did

41:21

you sit down? No, not that

41:23

much. No, you're on your feet.

41:25

I was on my feet the

41:27

whole time, because I'm very hyperactive.

41:29

Yeah, Jimmy's advice was sit as

41:31

much as possible, because it's a

41:33

lot of standing, and I can't

41:35

sit still. And so there's footage,

41:37

I mean, I got to give

41:39

a shout out, since you're naming

41:41

everyone you've ever met. I think

41:44

it's, hey, doing an amazing job.

41:46

I'm going to list the people

41:48

that served in the Korean War

41:50

now on the American side. No,

41:52

but Ruthie and Samantha, who are

41:54

on the, who handled the social

41:56

media, they did this amazing thing

41:58

where they were shooting video all

42:00

the time, sort of day in

42:02

the life video and posting it.

42:04

Not only am I not sitting

42:06

down, but at one point I'm

42:08

doing a Russian dance while the

42:10

writers around me are chanting. And

42:12

the show is only... half over

42:14

and I'm expending energy and doing

42:16

that leg kick dance. And then

42:18

I it's madness, but that's the

42:21

world I like to live in.

42:23

Anyway, it was a it was

42:25

an honor, it was a privilege,

42:27

it was a thrill and Mike

42:29

Sweeney would not have happened without

42:31

this man. No, we'd have found

42:33

some accurate. Sure, of course. Very

42:35

quickly. So the first thing I

42:37

learned about is everyone's replaceable. Yeah,

42:39

what's next? So you better show

42:41

up to work. What's I mean,

42:43

you've hosted the MEs, you've hosted

42:45

the Lattin Grannies. No, not Grammies.

42:47

Yeah. Come on, Eduardo. You're a

42:49

real fit. What do you think?

42:51

I think you're a perfect fit.

42:53

I think you do. I think

42:55

you'd be grandpa. Your Spanish killed

42:57

during the... Yeah, yeah, yes. We,

43:00

that was, yeah. And you're Indian,

43:02

you're Chinese, you're Mandarin. The key

43:04

to the Mandarin was they were

43:06

laughing, so they couldn't hear the

43:08

Mandarin. But anyway, it was, it

43:10

was a real highlight, but it's

43:12

also... Man, it's nice to have

43:14

that behind us. Yeah. I gotta

43:16

say. Well, great job. I know

43:18

I haven't said that till now.

43:20

No, you really nailed it. Fantastic.

43:22

Well, we can't just be patting

43:24

ourselves in the back here. There's

43:26

work to be done. There's work

43:28

to be done. There's work to

43:30

be done. Yeah. So, uh. This

43:32

man, can I talk to you

43:34

for a minute about you? What

43:36

you do and what you did.

43:39

Now I'll be Sebastian Man, as

43:41

Scalco. This fucking guy! All right,

43:43

that was our Oscar's podcast, Talk

43:45

Down. Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend

43:47

with Conan O'Brien, Sonum of Cession,

43:49

and MacGorley. Produced by me, MacGorley.

43:51

Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff

43:53

Ross, and Nick Li-O. Theme song

43:55

by the White Stripes. Incidental music

43:57

by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away,

43:59

Jimmy. Our

44:02

supervising producer is Aaron Blair and

44:04

our associate talent producer is Jennifer

44:06

Sambles. Engineering and Mixing by Eduardo

44:09

Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production

44:11

support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking

44:13

by Paula Davis, Gina Battista and

44:15

Britcon. You can rate and review

44:17

this show on Apple podcasts and

44:19

you might find your review read

44:21

on a future episode. Got a

44:23

question for Conan? Call the team

44:25

cocoa hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave

44:27

a message. It too could be

44:30

featured on a future episode. get

44:32

three free months of SiriusXM

44:34

when you sign up

44:36

at siriusxm.com/Conan. And if

44:38

you haven't already, please

44:41

subscribe to Conan O'Brien

44:43

Needs a Friend wherever

44:45

fine podcasts are downloaded.

44:47

This is a message

44:49

from sponsor This is

44:51

a message from sponsor Intuit TurboTax.

44:53

Taxes was getting frustrated by your

44:55

forms. Now Taxes is uploading your

44:58

forms with a snap and a

45:00

TurboTax expert will do your taxes

45:02

for you. One who's backed by

45:04

the latest tech, which cross-checks millions

45:06

of data points for absolute accuracy.

45:08

All of which makes it easy

45:11

for you to get the most

45:13

money back guaranteed. Get an expert

45:15

now on turbotax.com. Only available with

45:17

TurboTax Live full service. See guarantee

45:19

details at turbotax.com/guarantee.com/guarantee. Lasting impact starts

45:22

here. With the Home Depot, Reto

45:24

Your School grants, classrooms become modern

45:26

learning labs. Innovation lounges spark creativity

45:28

while welcoming common areas bring everyone

45:30

together. For nearly two decades, Reto

45:33

Your School has awarded millions in

45:35

grants, turning ideas into action and

45:37

creating spaces where students thrive. Every

45:39

grant goes beyond upgrading spaces. It

45:41

uplifts HBCUs and strengthens their communities

45:44

because real...