I’m a Very Normal Person with Very Normal Hobbies

I’m a Very Normal Person with Very Normal Hobbies

Released Thursday, 26th September 2024
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I’m a Very Normal Person with Very Normal Hobbies

I’m a Very Normal Person with Very Normal Hobbies

I’m a Very Normal Person with Very Normal Hobbies

I’m a Very Normal Person with Very Normal Hobbies

Thursday, 26th September 2024
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0:03

Super Cuts knows what you think. It's

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1:52

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1:57

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1:59

in the refrigerator. Oh yeah. Hate that person. That

2:01

guy sucks. Guess what? Sometimes I'm that guy. Oh no.

2:03

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2:05

I'm like, I had as much as I wanted and

2:07

I thought I'd drink the whole thing, but then I

2:09

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2:11

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2:16

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2:58

So, Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

3:07

Want to talk to

3:09

Conan? Visit teamkoko.com/call Conan.

3:12

Okay, let's get started. Hi.

3:15

Hi Mara, welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a fan.

3:17

Hi. Hi Mara, how are you? Nice

3:20

to meet you all. Nice to meet you too

3:22

Mara, where are you? Where are you in the

3:24

world? I'm from Vienna, Austria. Are

3:26

you in Vienna right now? I am in

3:28

Vienna right now, yes. I have never been

3:30

to Vienna. I love Vienna.

3:33

I think, was Vienna where they

3:35

shot the movie Mozart?

3:39

Which one? There are several. Amadeus?

3:42

Amadeus. They shot the third

3:44

men. Oh,

3:47

the third man in Vienna, that's right.

3:50

I don't know, Vienna is one of

3:52

those cities that I've always wanted to

3:54

visit because it's just magical, I've heard.

3:56

It's beautiful. It's genuinely one of my

3:58

favorite cities. So

4:00

Mara, you live in Vienna,

4:02

Austria, which I think sounds

4:04

lovely. I'm sensing a lot of

4:06

pink. Your

4:08

hair- Oh no, it's awful.

4:11

Just the worst color ever. Right? There's

4:15

a, it looks like you're on a scene from

4:17

Barbie, but there's a, I'm sensing

4:20

that, do you like pink? Is pink maybe your

4:22

favorite color? That's the sense I'm getting just in

4:24

this scene I'm seeing. It is, it is, yeah.

4:28

It's kind of a bleak story. I

4:31

dated my ex-boyfriend for too long

4:33

and I toned myself down for

4:36

him. And after he kicked

4:38

me out with five days to get

4:40

lost, basically, I decided, okay,

4:42

I'm gonna stop that. I'm gonna love

4:44

myself so much more and just be

4:46

the brightest version of myself. And

4:49

then I also came out as gay, so. Okay,

4:52

well, first of all- Double whammy. That's

4:54

a- But are you

4:57

happier now? I

4:59

am so happy. Good, that's all that's important. I

5:01

mean, that's the important thing. And also, in a

5:05

way, it's a very, it's a

5:07

powerful story because you

5:09

found yourself and I like that you're just

5:11

doubling down on what gives you joy. Color

5:14

pink, I'm going for it, you know, good

5:16

for you. Yeah, I would just like to

5:18

mention that we have the same hairstyle. That's

5:22

true. I was going to say,

5:25

your hair looks, maybe I should dye my

5:27

hair pink. Go pink? I

5:29

should go pink. What do you think? Do it.

5:31

Mara, what do you think? It's such a great

5:33

color. It's such a great color. It's so complimentary.

5:36

Though you have a lot of pink undertones, so

5:38

maybe, maybe not. I

5:41

have pink undertones. Are you

5:43

saying that my skin, what

5:46

are you saying? She started off so like, you gotta

5:48

do it. And she's like, oh wait, nevermind. You're already

5:50

too pink as she said. Do

5:53

you realize I have advanced liver failure?

5:57

I mean, me too,

5:59

maybe. So okay. Good. Oh wow.

6:01

Well, how hey, we're Hey,

6:04

as long as we're all laughing about how our bodies are shutting

6:06

down Well,

6:09

tell me a little bit about yourself, what do you what do

6:11

you do Mara? Tell us a little bit

6:13

What's your full name Mara? Oh

6:17

gosh, my full name is Mara

6:19

Emilia Langenberger. Oh my

6:21

goodness. That is a long name Maria

6:27

Emilia Langenberger Langenberger

6:31

Yeah, it's like a really cool beer. Yeah,

6:33

I can make I was like another login

6:35

bigger. Um, sorry I'm just gonna market that

6:37

if you don't mind. I have permission What

6:40

are your what are your hobbies? What do you like to do? Well,

6:43

um, I'm a very

6:45

normal person with very normal hobbies Whenever

6:51

people say that It

6:53

means that we're in for a world of weirdness Yeah,

6:57

so tell me what is Let's

7:00

hear it. Let's hear it Mara So

7:02

so maybe there are several taxidermy hamsters

7:05

in my apartment right now So

7:08

you you like taxidermied

7:10

do you like all animals taxidermied

7:13

or just hamsters? No,

7:15

I like all Taxidermied animals.

7:18

Okay. I just happen to have a couple of hamsters

7:21

Okay, so, um, how do

7:23

you acquire these animals to?

7:27

Taxidermied them and here's where

7:29

we reveal that you're possibly

7:32

a dangerous

7:34

person I Strangle

7:40

No, no, what do you really do to murder Hamster

7:45

murderer I'm gonna say Mara

7:47

just by talking to you you seem like a gentle

7:50

soul and I Believe that

7:52

you probably do not harm any animals. Is

7:54

that true? No, um, they

7:56

are all ethical taxidermy that

7:58

means they the animals

8:01

died of natural causes, or they

8:03

are just vintage and extremely old.

8:05

Okay, so by vintage, you

8:07

don't mean alive. Because

8:09

I'm old, I'm vintage, but

8:12

still here. You mean that you find

8:15

animals that have suffered a massive heart attack?

8:18

Yes. They've passed on already.

8:20

And then you taxidermy

8:23

them. I don't taxidermy them

8:25

myself. I work with

8:27

an artist who is extremely talented.

8:30

She does taxidermy. Okay,

8:32

I like that though. I like

8:35

ethically taxidermied animals, animals that have

8:37

already passed on. I only eat

8:39

meat, but I will only eat

8:41

a steak where the

8:44

cow passed away. It

8:46

was pet to death. Old age and like-

8:48

Yeah, old age or sometimes if the cow

8:50

was in a car accident and

8:53

passed on, then I'll eat the cow.

8:55

Old diseased cows, that's what you like.

8:58

That's my way and I'm ethical. What about cows

9:00

that have died from mad cow disease? No,

9:03

you're getting crazy. But if they

9:05

had mad cow disease and were stupid enough to get on

9:07

a motorcycle and then got killed, I'd eat them. Mara,

9:11

we went on a little bit of- Yeah, stupid.

9:14

Yeah, and I apologize and you're better than

9:16

that and I'm not. Okay,

9:19

so you like taxidermying animals. And

9:22

how many of these taxidermied animals do you have?

9:25

I own a cat

9:28

skull. It's not taxidermied,

9:30

it's just a skull. Back

9:33

there is Miss Daisy. It's

9:35

a little duckling and two

9:38

hamsters. Okay, so that's the

9:40

full compliment. That's everything you have? No,

9:44

there's currently a third hamster on the way. On

9:48

the way, you mean you're just waiting for him to die? He's

9:51

in hospice. He's

9:54

in hospice. You should

9:56

get there every now and then. How you doing there,

9:58

Mr- He's been in a coma for a very long

10:00

time. How you doing there? We're waiting to pull the

10:02

plug, and then we can actually- Actually, today I'm feeling

10:04

a little better. Really?

10:06

No, you don't. Oh

10:08

my god! She just pushed the hamster out a

10:11

lot. No, no, no, she put the pillow. There's

10:13

a pillow! Did you put, did

10:15

you ever walk in? Did you ever walk into

10:17

the hamster with a tiny little hamster sized pillow?

10:20

You have a tiny hamster- Sleep well,

10:22

Mr. Pips. What

10:27

else do you do? Oh, the tiny hamster

10:29

pillow. Tell us

10:31

a little more about yourself. Besides taxidermying,

10:33

tell me other interesting things about you,

10:35

things that you do with your time

10:37

or- I'm a textile designer. I

10:40

design fabrics. Very good. Yeah, the dress

10:43

that I made is from a- The

10:45

dress that I made, the dress that I'm wearing

10:47

is from a fabric that I made, and I

10:50

made the dress as well. Wow, wow, you're very

10:52

talented. Yeah, all of this back here is from

10:54

me. Yeah,

10:57

good. That's very impressive. That's very

10:59

impressive. Kona

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be 2B. What

15:25

else? What other things do you do? Oh

15:28

gosh, I build miniature tiny dioramas. And

15:34

currently I am working on

15:36

a seventies themed living room

15:38

that I have a nickname

15:40

the Coke Room. You

15:44

build tiny dioramas. Yeah.

15:47

And you're building one that's a tribute to

15:49

the seventies called the Coke Room. And

15:52

then do you ever put your little taxi drumming

15:54

animals in there? Like there's a little hamster

15:56

who scar face and there's

15:58

just a bunch of cocaine on a table.

16:01

and then maybe a little cat skull comes

16:03

in wearing

16:06

a white suit and it's

16:08

just a. I mean, I know

16:10

you're joking, but that's the plan.

16:14

Can we see it? Do you have any maid that you

16:16

can lift up? Can you show us the day, Ram? For

16:18

sure. You're

16:20

making a miniature cocaine den and

16:23

you're gonna put your taxidermied hamsters

16:25

in there. So. Oh.

16:28

Oh my god. Oh my god, look

16:30

at that. What the? I have

16:33

to take the dust cover off. Yeah, you're gonna have to hold

16:35

it up a little more. So

16:37

there is a hamster, is that a

16:39

hamster? It is

16:41

a hamster, yes. And that doesn't.

16:44

Oh. Oh my

16:46

god. There's electricity. Oh my

16:48

god, and is

16:51

the hamster, what's the hamster doing? He's

16:54

just sitting and reading a book. Oh

16:57

well, that was 70s Coke Room. No,

17:00

that's not the 70s Coke Room. The 70s Coke

17:02

Room isn't done yet. Oh, I see, I'm sorry.

17:04

I thought that was the 70s Coke Room. And

17:06

I thought, man, you have never done cocaine. Do

17:09

you think it just involves sitting down and reading?

17:12

No. Oh, there. Oh, there

17:14

it is, okay. I just. You're very

17:16

talented. The bones are done. You

17:20

can't see it probably, but I

17:22

designed the wallpaper for it. And

17:26

I built, good

17:30

thing I don't put anything away and it's

17:32

just all on my desk here. It's

17:34

a tiny, teeny tiny bookshelf.

17:37

Oh cute. You are very creative, yeah.

17:40

There's a little chair. Tiny

17:42

chair that I still have to put

17:45

the upholstering on. And

17:50

is the textiles the way that you make money? Is that

17:52

the only way that you make money? Is through the textiles?

17:55

At the moment, yes. I mean,

17:57

if you want to give me money, I accept it clearly.

18:01

Sure. I mean, I'm always willing to mail anybody

18:03

money who wants money. Sure.

18:05

Really? Yeah. Yeah. I

18:07

mean, anyone here at the... It's a policy

18:09

I have here at work that if anybody needs any money, I

18:11

will just take care of you. Yeah.

18:15

And I think

18:17

she's fixing her light first, but it's very good. I'm sorry. The

18:20

cats got in the way. Oh, I thought the

18:22

lights went out. Oh, wait. That's a live cat.

18:24

Run, cat. Run. Yeah. Get out of there. Hey,

18:26

cat, get out of there. No. Oh,

18:29

what a good cat.

18:32

I know what lays ahead for that

18:34

guy. So

18:39

Mara, it sounds like this is a very good time in

18:41

your life because you've found things

18:45

that you really love. You've got your textile

18:47

work. You love the color pink. You

18:49

seem to wear that almost exclusively. You

18:53

love taxidermying animals that have died in a

18:55

peaceful way or violently, but

18:57

not at your hands. You

19:00

have a cat who is just a matter of time. I

19:03

have two. You

19:06

have two cats. And

19:08

do the cats ever check out the taxidermy and

19:10

look at each other and go, we need to

19:12

split? We need to get out

19:14

of here? Well, no,

19:16

because the big black one that you

19:19

just saw is blind. She

19:21

literally can't see it coming. Oh,

19:25

fuck. So

19:27

you made sure to get a blind

19:29

cat so the blind cat has no clue. Yeah.

19:35

And the boy cat is

19:37

just, he's

19:39

challenged. Yeah. Yeah.

19:42

He's not particularly smart.

19:45

No, if he's living with you, he's not. No. He's

19:48

also seems selected that way. If he's living in Death

19:50

Alley, then no. And

19:53

I'm glad you got out of that bad relationship.

19:55

Are you in a good relationship now? Yeah,

19:58

me too. Yeah, I'm married. Oh,

20:01

you are? And I am married.

20:03

This week is my two year

20:05

wedding anniversary. Happy anniversary.

20:08

Thank you. My

20:11

wife lives in Sacramento, so you are

20:13

more likely to run into them than

20:15

I am. Wait, your wife lives in

20:17

Sacramento? Yeah, I did do.

20:20

Okay. And what do they do

20:22

there? Um, living there. They

20:25

are American. Oh, gotcha. I

20:29

see. But you still get to spend time together.

20:32

We spend time together once a year, we try to,

20:34

yeah. Okay. You

20:36

have a little advice for me, Mara? Yes, of

20:38

course. You should

20:41

definitely come visit Vienna because it's

20:43

a beautiful city and it's absolutely

20:45

fantastic. The

20:47

thing is, you have to

20:49

be very careful when you're on

20:51

the escalator because the right side

20:53

of the escalator, going down or

20:55

up, is reserved for

20:57

people standing. And the left

21:00

side of the escalator is exclusively

21:02

for people walking. And

21:04

if you don't walk on the left side

21:06

of the escalator, but you stand still, it

21:09

is very likely that an old grammar will come by

21:11

and beat you up. Oh. Oh.

21:15

So, all right, well,

21:17

this is good to know. So,

21:22

on the right side, you can stand still

21:24

of the escalator. On the left, you

21:26

need to move up the stairs. How

21:29

fast do you need to move up the stairs to get out

21:31

of the way of this insane grandmother? I

21:35

mean, a little bit faster than the grandma and

21:38

grandmas are not that fast. Is

21:40

it just one grandma that we're worried about? Yeah.

21:42

A bunch of them. And if it is just one,

21:44

can't we taxi Germany her? I

21:51

wanna find this grandmother. If

21:53

they have a walking stick, you have

21:55

to really, really look out because they

21:57

will use the walking stick. It's

22:00

acceptable in Vienna

22:03

for somebody to strike someone else with a

22:05

walking stick? It

22:08

happened to me at least twice. Oh

22:10

my God. Because you weren't moving

22:12

fast enough or you weren't moving at all. I wasn't

22:14

moving on the left side of the escalator. Are you sure you didn't

22:16

just kill their hamsters and they're out to get it? What

22:19

if Conan wants to fight a grandma? Yeah. Can

22:22

I say something? I have fought many a grandmother in

22:24

my day. And I mean

22:27

all around the world. I

22:29

can't say my record is good. But

22:33

I wanna challenge grandmothers everywhere.

22:37

In all parts of the globe, bring it.

22:40

Bring it, granny. Bring

22:42

your stick, bring your crutch. Bring

22:47

your hard cake that you let go stale.

22:50

You can throw your teeth at me. I will take

22:52

you down. Do

22:56

you think I'd have a good time in Vienna? Oh,

22:59

absolutely. I mean escalators aside,

23:01

I'd have a good time. Would I fit

23:04

in? You think people would accept me in

23:06

Vienna? You would stick out because you're so

23:08

tall, but other than that, I

23:10

think you would do fine in Austria. Yeah. We

23:13

also hate every other people. So

23:15

you fit right in I think. Well,

23:19

wait, that would include me, wouldn't it? They

23:22

would hate me then. Yeah, but then

23:24

it's mutual. Okay.

23:28

So, all right. Okay, I

23:31

think I got it. Yeah, so the slogan in

23:33

Austria is, we hate you as much as you

23:35

hate us. Yeah. Pretty

23:38

much, yeah. Yeah, and watch out, here comes

23:40

granny. For

23:42

sure. Well, Mara,

23:44

it was really nice talking to you

23:47

and I'm glad that you have found

23:49

the life that's making you happy. You

23:53

seem like a very nice person and a good

23:55

soul. So I applaud you. Yeah, it's

23:57

the side I put on that. People

24:00

don't realize how fucking awful

24:02

and hamster-murderer as I am.

24:06

Well, we have you on tape confessing. So

24:10

we're sending the hamster detectives right now. They have

24:12

little pipes. You'll see. Nice

24:16

talking to you, Mara. Take care. Nice

24:18

talking to you too. Bye bye. Bye

24:20

bye. Conan O'Brien needs

24:22

a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam

24:25

of Sessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced

24:27

by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced

24:29

by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and

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24:34

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producer, Aaron Blayard. Associate talent

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Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get

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