0:18

Welcome to Coping with Ghosting , the podcast

0:20

that provides hope , healing and understanding

0:23

for anyone who's been ghosted

0:25

in any walk of life . I'm your

0:27

host , Gretta , and I'm here

0:30

with my friend and returning guest , Estee

0:32

K . Estee , could you please introduce

0:34

yourself to listeners ?

0:37

Hi , Gretta . I'm so , so excited to be here

0:39

with you again today . Yes

0:41

, I'm an empowerment and mindfulness coach

0:44

. I'm also a podcaster now

0:46

and I offer a lot of support

0:48

and guidance through different , various journeys

0:50

that people go through , really helping people get

0:53

connected back with who they are and what they

0:55

do . And what's the name of your podcast

0:57

? Soulful Synthesis . That's

0:59

so cool . I love it . Yeah , it's

1:01

fun . It's a picture of me when I was a little

1:03

girl on it , so you can't miss that .

1:07

Well , the intention of this episode is

1:09

for all of us to chill

1:11

out and relax , and

1:15

I just want to start with a little kind

1:18

of story slash

1:20

, just information that's been on

1:23

my mind that I think will

1:25

help . When I was ghosted

1:27

by my friend

1:30

, I had a lot more time

1:32

for myself and

1:34

I decided

1:36

to be really intentional on how I used

1:38

the time , because in the past this friendship

1:41

took up a lot of like

1:43

literal time and space . I

1:45

was commuting to see her be with her family

1:47

and when she

1:50

cut me out of her life it

1:52

was kind of shocking , it was jarring , and

1:55

all of a sudden I had , like what felt

1:57

kind of like extra time , and

1:59

so I chose to make that me

2:02

time and I used

2:04

it to heal and

2:07

reflect on what I really wanted in my

2:10

future friendships and all my relationships

2:12

. So healing

2:14

isn't just about

2:17

time that's

2:19

passing by Like . It's like

2:21

it could be a year from now and I could be in the

2:23

same place after the day I was ghosted

2:25

. But I decided to use the time

2:28

to do activities

2:30

that would help me in my mind

2:32

and heart to feel better

2:34

. So I

2:37

, for example , went to therapy

2:40

and I did

2:42

meditations and I did things that

2:44

would help me to relax . So

2:47

here are some things

2:50

that I think are important

2:52

to remember , and it's

2:54

they're always the first things I say to

2:57

new members of my Facebook

2:59

group , and I don't even know how many times

3:01

I've said this on the podcast , but I think it's

3:04

always important to hear . Being

3:06

ghosted isn't personal , it's

3:09

not your fault . You didn't

3:11

deserve it . You

3:13

can move forward and feel

3:15

better . Time alone won't heal

3:17

you . It's what you do with the

3:19

time . You know . In the Facebook group called

3:22

Coping with Ghosting , it's free , it's private

3:24

. We all come in with different stories . Some

3:26

people have been ghosted by friends , family

3:28

, coworkers , some in romance , and

3:31

the purpose of the group is

3:33

to come together as one , motivating

3:36

and healing and inspiring each

3:38

other . So if you haven't joined

3:40

it , I encourage you , just click

3:42

the link in the show notes . Joined

3:49

it . I encourage you , just click the link in the show notes . And I know that this healing process

3:51

isn't easy , but I want you to know that you

3:54

can do it . So

3:56

, just like if you were grieving somebody

3:59

who's passed away , this

4:01

is a time to treat yourself with love

4:04

, to take breaks , to

4:06

rest . It can be exhausting

4:08

, but just keep in mind

4:10

that you're whole , worthy complete

4:13

without your ghost . You

4:16

are important , you're

4:18

special . You deserve

4:21

respect and care from yourself

4:23

and other people . You deserve respect

4:25

and care from yourself and other

4:27

people . And

4:30

even after you've been ghosted , please remember that you can still experience

4:32

healthy relationships with people who are honest and communicative , trustworthy and loving

4:34

. And after

4:37

being ghosted , it was hard for me to open my heart

4:39

again , but I chose to slowly

4:41

trust people again and it paid

4:44

off and I'm walking proof that you

4:46

can do this . So

4:48

not everyone will ghost you . Not

4:50

everyone is a ghost . Make

4:53

sure that you're intentional on

4:56

who you're surrounding yourself with , people

4:59

who are valuing your presence

5:01

. After we're ghosted

5:03

, it's really important

5:06

and helpful to reflect on the relationship

5:08

you have with yourself as well . So , like

5:10

, what words are you saying to yourself ? Are

5:13

they kind , are they empathetic , are they

5:15

truthful ? I

5:18

encourage you to be gentle with the way

5:20

you're speaking to yourself . In fact , Estee

5:22

and I recorded a whole episode about this , called

5:25

Move Forward After being Ghosted

5:27

Positive Self-Talk with Estee

5:29

K . , which I'll link to in the

5:31

show notes as well , and this is really important

5:34

because I used to

5:36

beat myself up about being ghosted and I'd

5:38

ruminate on every single microscopic

5:40

detail of the relationship

5:43

and it was pointless and

5:48

I thought things like if only I'd done this , if only I'd done

5:50

that , they would have stayed , and

5:52

I was my harshest critic and

5:55

these thoughts were super stressful and unhelpful

5:57

. So , as my

6:00

former podcast guest , lauren Josephine says

6:02

, the person ghosted you because of who

6:04

they are , not because of who

6:06

you are . So

6:09

please be kind to yourself and

6:13

have self-compassion for

6:15

anything you need during this time and feel

6:17

your feelings and allow

6:19

them to flow . Your

6:21

confusion , your fears , insecurities

6:23

, angers are information that allow

6:26

you to get in touch with what's going on within

6:28

yourself and help you

6:30

become more self-aware . So honor

6:32

how you feel and remember that all the

6:34

thoughts you're having are not facts

6:36

, and trust your ability to

6:38

rebuild a stronger sense

6:40

of self . You deserve a

6:43

life filled with joy , ease and pleasure

6:45

and , no matter what you're going

6:47

through , you can heal .

6:51

I love that you shared that , Gretta . I'm really happy you did

6:53

, because I also want to add that you can

6:55

honor yourself where you're at . Sometimes

6:58

I think , after being ghosted and I know I felt this

7:00

way as well that I

7:02

could have been a whole different person and it

7:04

would have changed things . But where

7:06

I am now doesn't negate where

7:09

I could be in the future and it doesn't change

7:11

anything else . That's happened . Where I am

7:13

is perfectly okay and it's

7:16

actually at the right moment in time

7:18

. So honor that , even

7:20

if you're feeling low and incomplete

7:23

or you have your fears and insecurities , that this is simply where you are right now . It is not where you're feeling low and incomplete or you have your fears and insecurities

7:25

. That this is simply where you are right now . It

7:27

is not where you're going to be forever and

7:30

then take it one step at a time .

7:33

That's such a helpful reminder . Thank you for adding

7:35

that . Exactly Right

7:38

. And so now , if you're

7:40

anything like me , you're going to have a little bit more time

7:42

because this person is now no longer in your

7:44

life , and

7:46

so I invite

7:49

you to think about these questions . How

7:51

has your relationship with time changed

7:53

since you were ghosted ? How

7:58

do you plan on filling the time differently

8:00

? Is

8:03

there something that you really love to do or

8:06

that you really want to do but you haven't

8:08

done ? Is

8:13

there something you've been putting off because

8:16

you didn't feel like you had the time

8:18

? Well

8:20

, now's the time .

8:22

I was going to say . It's also a really great opportunity

8:24

, when you are in a relationship

8:27

prior to even being ghosted

8:29

, that there's all these things that you want

8:32

to put aside because you want to prioritize

8:34

the person that you're with , and after being

8:36

ghosted it feels like there's

8:38

no longer a priority in your life life

8:47

. So I think anything you wanted to try or experience or things , maybe

8:49

when you were younger you wanted to do , but you just felt like you've been involved

8:52

in different work , life or relationships

8:54

, whatever it is . This is the time , I mean , if you

8:56

have it like , really dig deep , fill it with

8:58

all the things that you deserve .

9:01

Your words really resonate with me . We're

9:06

human beings , we're not human doings

9:09

, and I know that in our society

9:11

that working

9:13

our little faces off is really

9:16

rewarded right . But I

9:18

think balance is

9:21

important . And I know

9:23

and I know a lot of listeners have this

9:25

same issue that when I was

9:27

ghosted , it

9:29

felt like everything was happening all

9:32

at once , like it was just a tsunami

9:34

, like this happened , and then this

9:36

happened and then I was ghosted , and then

9:38

my dog got sick and all these

9:41

things just one thing after the

9:43

next . It was overwhelming

9:45

. Being ghosted is overwhelming

9:48

and I've suffered

9:50

from burnout and I know

9:52

, estee , you've suffered from burnout

9:55

as well .

9:56

Yeah , I have even recently , as much as a

9:58

couple months ago .

10:00

Yeah , so let's talk about ways

10:03

to kind of just relax . One

10:06

that I found which is really easy for everybody

10:08

to do at any moment really is to

10:11

create a glimmer . A

10:13

glimmer is just the opposite of a trigger

10:16

and it's essentially

10:18

something like a cue that

10:21

brings you a

10:23

sense of joy you

10:31

that brings you a sense of joy . So , for example , a glimmer in my life would

10:33

be seeing a really big , bright rainbow in the sky . It's just wow , like a wow moment

10:35

for me .

10:35

I love that Mine is actually

10:38

snowfall , because I grew up in Southern

10:40

California and that was never a real

10:42

possibility . So I

10:44

don't know why I've always thought about

10:46

snow or if I've ever seen it , even in a movie

10:48

, or if I pull it up on a

10:50

YouTube video , it calms

10:52

me and feels very peaceful . I

10:55

think glimmers are really important to

10:57

remember that they're more like cues

11:00

for yourself internally that triggers

11:02

some kind of emotional response

11:04

in a positive way . So anything

11:08

, anything at all , it could be little or big

11:10

. I know someone used to think about like

11:12

a litter of puppies would

11:14

help them because they're so stinking cute

11:16

. Or if you

11:18

love the color pink , or if

11:21

you love having a coffee

11:23

in the morning and that

11:25

memory or the thinking

11:27

of the smell of coffee is the thing

11:29

that does it for you , then that could be your glimmer . And

11:32

they're so helpful because

11:35

it's not only just an easy way to relax

11:37

but it's also neurologically a really great

11:39

way to calm you down , in a

11:42

sense that you're actually triggering healthy

11:45

hormones that are going to help

11:47

you feel better

11:49

neurologically

11:51

. So it's a great way

11:54

to actually give yourself . It's

11:56

like having a cup of tea or getting a warm

11:58

hug on an emotional

12:00

level and I think , especially after

12:03

being dosed , there's such a fragile feeling

12:05

that you have being in such a fragile

12:07

state , that this is such a

12:09

great way of you know , helping you feel more whole

12:11

and bringing you together and closer to yourself

12:13

. So you've asked

12:15

this before . But like , what are your glimmers ? What are things

12:18

that get you brightened

12:21

up and feeling excited

12:23

and grateful ? Brightened up and feeling excited and grateful

12:26

.

12:26

Yeah , everybody needs to ask themselves

12:28

that question . It's reminding

12:30

me of the song . These

12:38

are a few of my favorite things . I love that song . Sound of music

12:41

. Shout out to Julie Andrews Julie Andrews , come

12:43

on the podcast and share your favorite things , please . Podcast

12:49

and share your favorite things , please . So I was just thinking of a list , just

12:51

like there's so many things , but one is okay

12:53

. Definitely , puppies . Yes

12:55

, okay For me , like I , my

12:57

favorite Instagram dogs , my

13:00

favorite influencer dogs , lulu

13:03

and friends . They're dachshunds . In the

13:05

Netherlands they just had puppies and every morning

13:08

I wake up just to look at the puppies on Instagram

13:10

, which is kind of ridiculous . But

13:12

one day they didn't post and I was kind of sad

13:14

. But yeah , basically that

13:17

, and also just seeing all the greenery

13:19

. Right now I'm visiting Massachusetts

13:21

and there's just so much green

13:24

here . It's gorgeous

13:26

. I can't even I see it and I never want

13:28

to leave . And

13:30

, yeah

13:32

, I just looking up at the sky , watching

13:35

the clouds , that kind of thing , or

13:37

bodies of waters and hummingbirds

13:39

, hummingbirds I love hummingbirds

13:41

.

13:41

They're so cute and little . Yeah

13:44

, I love that . See those little moments . Even thinking

13:47

about it got my mind thinking about

13:49

all the little things that I want to pick up on throughout

13:51

my day , and already

13:53

I'm feeling even better thinking about

13:55

all the things that I'm even grateful for . This

13:57

is also essentially like a gratitude practice

14:00

, too , which is such a beautiful way

14:02

to connect .

14:04

Yeah , because our brains tend to focus

14:06

on the negative and things that we're lacking

14:08

. Oh , we're lacking it , we're missing

14:11

. We're missing this , we're missing that , but this

14:13

is your reminder that

14:15

you are whole and complete

14:17

without your ghost . You're not lacking

14:20

anything .

14:23

And in fact there's so much you do already have

14:25

and you're surrounded by , and

14:28

glimmers are going to really help you connect with that

14:30

. So I love that you brought this up .

14:37

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp

14:39

. If you've been ghosted , it's

14:42

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14:44

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15:00

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15:42

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16:13

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16:15

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16:18

it had nothing to do with what I said

16:20

or what I did in the relationship

16:22

or even what I looked like

16:24

. Going to therapy taught

16:27

me how to choose people who were choosing

16:29

me . So if you're struggling

16:32

, consider online therapy with BetterHelp

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. Click the link in the show notes or visit betterhelpcom

16:37

. Slash coping with ghosting . That's BetterHelp . Click the link in the show notes or visit betterhelpcom

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. Slash coping with ghosting . That's BetterHelp

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. H-e-l-pcom

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slash coping with ghosting . Thanks

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, betterhelp , for supporting my podcast

16:48

. Laughter

16:52

is another really important way

16:54

to reduce stress and cortisol

16:57

levels . To reduce stress and cortisol levels , can

17:00

we talk about funny things that happened to

17:02

us recently ? I have one to

17:04

share . I

17:06

don't even know how to explain this , but I'll try

17:08

my best . So

17:21

I was on a little walk here in Massachusetts around the place

17:24

I'm visiting , and I turned a corner and I stopped because I looked down and I

17:26

saw this beaver staring up at me with this shocked expression like oh , who are

17:28

you ?

17:28

you and .

17:29

I looked at it like what , who , who

17:31

, what ? I was not expecting to see

17:33

a beaver and we just kind of locked

17:35

eyes and just were like , okay , no

17:38

. And I kind of backed up and he ran away

17:40

, or he ran away as

17:42

quickly as he could . And

17:45

I was like on the phone at the same

17:47

time and I was telling my

17:49

friend , oh my gosh , oh my gosh , I can't believe it . I just saw

17:51

a beaver . That was so unexpected . And

17:54

somebody in the complex opened their

17:56

door and said

17:59

oh , and if you think that's clearly

18:02

they were listening in on my conversation . This

18:04

lady said oh , if you think that's bad , be

18:06

careful . I would just stay away from this side

18:08

of the complex because there's a bobcat

18:10

on the loose . Oh my gosh . And

18:12

so I was freaking out . But I was like I'm going

18:14

to still take my walk and talk to my friends . So

18:17

I'm going to still take my walk and talk to my friends . So I'm

18:19

going to keep on going and I

18:22

I

18:25

Google what to do if you see a bobcat

18:27

, because I'm freaking out . And then , when

18:30

I get to the other side of the complex , I

18:32

see the trash area and

18:35

it has a white ticket fence around

18:37

it , but through the

18:41

white fence I could see the shadow of

18:43

a bobcat going

18:45

into one of the dumpsters , like

18:48

climbing all over and going into the dumpster

18:50

. And I know that people constantly

18:52

go over to those bins to throw away

18:54

their trash . And luckily

18:57

it is there's a fence around it . So I

18:59

kind of decided to do a stakeout . I

19:02

was like I am going to be a good Samaritan

19:04

, I'm going to protect whoever is going

19:07

up to those trash cans because

19:09

of this bobcat . And

19:12

I sat there and I was like oh

19:14

, you know what ? I'm going to make a YouTube video of this

19:16

, because this is exactly the

19:18

type of content that goes viral , like when

19:20

people see these crazy wild animal

19:23

situations . Like right

19:25

. So I was like okay . So I sat there on

19:27

the grass like I don't know

19:29

, 30 feet away from Bobcat

19:32

area and it was just going to town in

19:34

that little dumpster . And here I was narrating

19:37

like I can't believe it

19:39

, I'm finally having a wildlife incident

19:41

, like I'm not the kind of person that goes outside

19:43

and sees a dinosaur or finds

19:45

bones or whatever . Like this is so exciting

19:47

for me . And so finally

19:50

, like five minutes later , a man

19:53

drives up to the trash

19:55

to take his trash out and I was like

19:57

, hey , the trash to take his trash out . And I was

19:59

like , hey , there's a bobcat in there . And he's like , well

20:01

, okay , are you going to call 911

20:03

? Or are you going to call animal

20:06

control ? And I'm like no

20:14

, and he's like okay , and he kind of looks annoyed with me , but I'm like

20:16

I just wanted to tell you so you don't get eaten alive . And

20:18

so he bravely walks up to the white picket

20:20

fence and he rattles it

20:22

. And meanwhile there's another

20:25

man walking over with his trash too

20:27

. So there's two guys and I'm like really

20:29

worried for them . And both

20:31

of them start cracking up and they're like , whoa

20:33

, that's a big raccoon

20:35

. And the

20:38

guy's like , oh , that's just trash , panda

20:40

, it's not a bobcat . And I'm like , oh , my gosh

20:42

, I'm so glad I'm anonymous here , because I thought

20:45

the whole time it was a scary bobcat

20:47

, but it was a raccoon . And

20:50

now I look like a fool and I just walked

20:52

away . I was like , okay , walk

20:54

away anonymously . Nobody knows you

20:56

, nobody knows that I just

20:58

had this big . But it's

21:00

like she said bobcat . And then , honestly

21:03

, the shadow really did look like

21:05

a bobcat .

21:07

Raccoons are big and they're mean

21:09

, yeah , I used

21:11

to see big ones roaming around in

21:13

the city , which you don't often

21:16

see , but I saw baby raccoon

21:18

ones . But , oh my gosh , what a crazy

21:21

story , Gretta , you

21:23

made it out on the other side .

21:25

It was really special , it was really silly .

21:27

I mean it's not like ha ha , ha , ha

21:29

ha , but it is , it

21:32

is funny though I mean I I feel

21:35

like if we made it into like one of those you

21:37

know memes or gifs like you could totally

21:39

do , like the face of a bobcat that turns into

21:41

it Like with the I

21:43

know that's so true . Oh

21:46

my gosh , I love that . Thank you for sharing that , though

21:48

. I got a good laugh out of that though

21:50

, so maybe all the listeners did

21:52

too .

21:53

Do you have a funny story ?

21:57

Recently . I don't live as an exciting life

21:59

as you . I haven't seen any bobcats . Uh

22:02

, let's think the

22:04

funniest story I always go to is my high school story

22:06

, because I always think that's hilarious . But

22:08

I did have a stare down

22:10

with a pigeon actually recently

22:14

. I was walking to a cafe

22:17

and I was crossing

22:20

the street and there was these flock

22:22

of pigeons I suppose they're a flock and

22:25

they were all kind of hanging

22:27

about pecking the ground . There was nothing

22:29

on the ground and I

22:31

started walking forward but then this pigeon

22:33

kind of like beelined for where I was

22:35

walking towards and I looked at this pigeon

22:38

and I call all pigeons Fred , I don't really

22:40

know why . No offense to Fred the

22:42

name , it's not an offensive thing , I just

22:44

that's the name that came to mind

22:46

. So I looked at this

22:48

pigeon and

22:50

I was like okay , so

22:52

I kind of stomped so it would fly away

22:55

, but it didn't . It just kept

22:57

like flying in

22:59

place , like bouncing where I was going , and it was

23:01

like hopping and following me . So I'm

23:03

playing . You see me just doing this like dance

23:05

move with a pigeon , I

23:08

kid you not , for probably like a minute I

23:11

was walking um with my boyfriend

23:13

actually and he was a little bit behind me . But

23:15

I swear I was doing this like dance with this

23:17

pigeon where they kept like you know

23:19

, walking to where I'm walking , but you

23:21

know how they they kind of do this movement

23:23

with their head , like the

23:26

cocking your head back and forth kind of a thing . So

23:28

I was just laughing because

23:30

this pigeon is just like waddling

23:33

towards me and

23:35

following me everywhere . And I think it's

23:37

because I may have had , or

23:39

my boyfriend had , like peanuts with him or something

23:41

where I was like maybe you're smelling some

23:43

kind of nuts or something

23:45

. But but I'm like I

23:48

finally stepped away from the pigeon after

23:50

some people came , like there was this guy

23:52

. Actually . They came in a scooter and just

23:54

like went straight for the flock of pigeons and

23:56

I thought , okay , great , I'm just going to run now

23:58

. I was never here , nobody ever

24:00

saw this . You know , it

24:03

was one of those feelings of I was

24:05

in my own world and everyone else was going

24:07

about their day , probably thinking here

24:10

I am having this dance with a Fred and

24:12

I have no that's really funny .

24:14

That's super cute . I love that story .

24:16

Yeah , that was a recent encounter

24:19

. I think it's also something you've taught

24:21

me actually is to make most of the most

24:23

of your life and whatever way you can . If

24:25

you're really opening up to like the glimmers of

24:27

life , you'll start to see I think really

24:30

funky things happening can

24:32

be funny . Yeah , and

24:35

it's , it could be a fun time .

24:37

I oh you know what I did one time

24:39

, Estee , that was so cool , speaking

24:42

of funny things and just like finding

24:45

glimmers . A few

24:47

years ago I had a funny party

24:49

where I invited all of , where

24:53

I invited many of my close friends

24:55

to tell their funniest stories that

24:58

ever happened to them in their lives . And

25:00

it was a zoom and like everybody was muted

25:02

whenever somebody told a funny story and we just

25:04

all . It was just . It was probably the silliest

25:07

thing ever .

25:08

I love that . That's such a fun way to connect

25:10

with other people .

25:12

Yeah .

25:12

Were there funny stories or just some people have a

25:14

little bit of not so funny .

25:16

Oh no , hilarious stories

25:18

. I mean , I I

25:21

loved all of them pretty much . There are two people

25:23

that ripped their pants in really unfortunate

25:25

public spaces but , um

25:29

, there was one guy who , oh

25:31

man , he drank a goldfish , a

25:34

live goldfish , that was , I

25:37

know .

25:37

I know there were a lot of special things that happened in that

25:40

in that , in

25:42

that zoom , you know , if you don't , if

25:44

you can't think of a funny story like

25:46

to listeners . One thing that was really helpful

25:49

I'm a Pinterest fan so

25:51

you can always search up really funny videos

25:53

like of dogs doing funny things

25:55

or like little little kids with animals

25:57

or I don't know doing

25:59

funny things or like little little kids with animals or I

26:02

don't know . You could probably YouTube like funniest scenes of all time

26:04

.

26:04

That's so true . I I try to

26:06

laugh every day because I think laughter is the best medicine

26:09

, so I put so

26:11

. I intentionally watch news

26:14

bloopers and

26:16

those are very hilarious . So

26:18

news bloopers are good . And also

26:20

there's this one video it's my ultimate favorite . It's

26:22

called the cat lawyer and I will link to that

26:25

in the notes . I just you just have to watch it .

26:27

She sent it to me recently and I actually

26:29

cracked up from it . I was laughing so

26:31

hard . Legitimate

26:34

Okay .

26:35

This is a really funny fail . It's

26:38

great . Okay

26:40

, so let's talk a little bit about relaxation

26:42

. Wow

26:45

, I think we could all relax more honestly

26:48

. So

26:51

do you have any recommendations for

26:53

how to just chill out and

26:55

unwind and relax in addition to

26:57

the laughter and the glimmers and the gratitude

27:00

?

27:00

Yeah , I mean , I think , a lot of what I do is

27:03

meditation and

27:05

also I get out a lot . I know it's springtime

27:07

, so most places it should be really nice out

27:10

. Getting outside , exposing

27:12

yourself to the sun as much as you can , is probably

27:15

the best medicine to me

27:17

. I do a lot of when I'm feeling very

27:19

anxious or nervous . I'll put on

27:21

headphones , I'll listen to some instrumental

27:24

music and I'll just walk around

27:26

. Um , frankly , that really calms me down

27:28

. I also do a lot of meditations

27:30

. A lot of it is just listening to

27:32

calming music . Um , in

27:35

the winter time I would actually listen to birds

27:37

chirping . In the wintertime I would

27:39

actually listen to birds chirping . Or , if you've ever heard

27:42

whale sounds , ocean sounds those

27:44

are really peaceful and

27:47

those would help me relax . I also

27:49

think sometimes having

27:52

no music and just

27:54

cooking or being

27:57

in your space with some

27:59

silence is helpful . If

28:01

you find your mind racing , which my mind

28:03

tends to do sometimes , I always find

28:06

listening to something that's going

28:08

to offset it , but not like a punk

28:10

rock song or like pop

28:13

music or not like my usuals

28:15

, but a lot more that , something that's

28:17

just going to have me distracted

28:19

, but in a healthy way . You know what I mean . Yeah

28:22

, what are some of your ways that

28:24

you relax .

28:26

So singing I like to sing in my car

28:28

and my shower and

28:30

deep breathing there's

28:32

one box breathing technique

28:34

that I really like . There's some guided versions on

28:37

YouTube and

28:39

just remembering that

28:42

it's all going to be okay , soothing

28:44

my inner child , soothing myself

28:46

, like I'm my own mom , like

28:48

what ? What would a really loving

28:50

, nurturing , caring caretaker

28:52

say to my little self ? Then

28:54

I try to act like that .

28:56

I love that . Okay , drawing

28:59

helps also if you're going off

29:01

of that , like with an inner child just letting

29:03

yourself reflow yeah

29:06

, those are just a couple of things .

29:07

I know we talk about a lot more activities

29:10

in our take your power back workshop . You

29:12

do .

29:13

There is actually a specific part where

29:15

we go into details of , like how to

29:17

bring about your creativity and giving

29:19

yourself more space

29:22

to explore that .

29:24

Yeah , so that's available at copingwithghostingcom

29:28

and that's Estee and I hosted that together

29:30

and it's just about an hour . You

29:33

can download it and it comes

29:35

with a guided workbook . And what

29:37

I love about this take your power back workshop

29:39

is that it's

29:41

just . It will really help you feel

29:43

better like so quickly . So

29:45

if you haven't gotten it , now's

29:48

your chance to go grab it today

29:50

. It will pair really well with

29:52

this episode , yeah .

29:54

And I'd love to take everyone

29:56

actually through a little bit of a meditation now that

29:58

we spoke about a way to calm and

30:01

feel more relaxed . So

30:03

if any of you are currently

30:06

driving or doing something that would be dangerous

30:08

, please pause what you're doing

30:10

or listen to this at a later time

30:13

. This is going to require you to

30:15

close your eyes , so we wouldn't want you to be

30:17

in any danger , so please

30:19

be mindful of what you're doing currently

30:21

. If you are able to find

30:24

a comfortable seated position , or

30:26

if you're dozing off to sleep and you're able to

30:28

lay down , I encourage you to find

30:30

a really comfortable space . Whatever

30:33

you need to do to get comfortable , please find that

30:35

place for you . The intention

30:37

here is to help you feel calm . Whatever

30:41

you may feel or whatever emotions come

30:43

up for you during this meditation is

30:45

valid and okay . Just

30:47

allow it to simply be . This

30:50

is a place for you to feel safe and

30:54

the freedom to feel . When

30:58

you're ready , you're going to softly close your eyes

31:00

and we're going to take

31:02

three deep breaths with an open mouth

31:05

exhale , breathe

31:07

in through your nose to the count of three and

31:13

out . Count to three and

31:21

out . Count to three . One

31:26

more time in through your nose and exhale , exhale , last

31:32

, calming , soft breath in

31:34

through your nose and

31:43

out through your mouth . You're

31:55

going to imagine yourself in a meadow , going to travel there in your mind , walking through the soft

31:57

, tall grass as your feet brush along its blades . Feel that beautiful

31:59

, fresh grass , that smell . You

32:15

see a stream up ahead , big , sturdy

32:18

, radiant tree . You

32:21

look up and see the sun rays ever

32:23

so subtly peeking through the leaves , radiating

32:26

a warm , loving glow . As

32:29

you bask in this feeling , you

32:32

feel warm , you

32:34

feel safe and you

32:36

feel calm . Feel

32:39

the meadow's tranquility , stay

32:44

in this space for a little bit longer , breathe

32:47

in the meadow's smells . The

32:50

sun is high in the sky , blowing

32:53

and showering you with its radiance , sky

32:59

blowing and showering you with its radiance . We're going

33:02

to take a moment to give ourselves

33:04

gratitude , say to yourself thank you for being here

33:06

today , for giving yourself

33:08

this moment , thank

33:15

you , feel this gratitude Good

33:20

. And as you end this moment of gratitude , let's

33:25

take three final deep breaths to slowly bring yourself

33:27

back to the present moment Inhale

33:32

, exhale

33:37

, inhale

33:43

and

33:47

let it go . And

33:51

last deep inhale and

33:56

let deep inhale and

34:00

let it go . Allow

34:06

yourself and your breathing to return to any normal

34:08

pace that feels comfortable

34:10

to you . As you do so , you begin to feel the surface beneath

34:13

you , slowly wingling your fingers and toes , moving your body . If you feel called

34:15

to do so , and

34:17

when you're ready , you may open your eyes back to

34:19

the present moment . I

34:21

hope this meditation has helped you feel calmer

34:23

and more peaceful , and if you found

34:25

yourself having fallen asleep to this and

34:28

you're listening to this part later on , that's

34:30

okay too . Our intention

34:32

here is to help you feel peace in your heart

34:34

. Thank you for your time and

34:36

energy here . I

34:39

love that . Thank you . I

34:43

feel calmer . I

34:45

felt calmer saying it too . I think it's really

34:47

important . Meditation has been such an instrumental

34:50

part in my healing journey from

34:52

being ghosted as well , so I'm

34:54

very grateful to be a part of this .

34:57

Yeah Well , thank you so

35:00

much for everything , Estee . This has been incredible

35:02

, and I just want to ask how

35:05

can listeners connect with you so

35:07

?

35:08

you can find me on my Instagram , at lifewithesteek

35:11

, or through

35:13

my podcast , Soulful Synthesis , on

35:16

Spotify and

35:18

I'm sure , Gretta , you can link in the

35:20

show notes in case anyone needs to get

35:22

ahold of me and I'd be happy to guide you through your own

35:24

journey .

35:26

I love it . Thank you again for

35:28

being here .

35:31

Finally

35:31

Finally, remember when you're ghosted , you

35:34

have more time to connect with yourself and

35:36

people who have stellar communication

35:38

skills . You deserve

35:40

the best .