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to to Crash Dummy's episode Remember this

1:01

episode is sponsored by Underdog.

1:03

We'll talk underdog. a little

1:06

bit later. that a now. bit

1:08

later. the whole month of the

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we have a of off we have a

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50% off sale for new patron 50

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% off the is not broke.

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So use that that to get

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50 % off for this month

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only. I know it's a lot it's a

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lot of y 'all first time hyping that.

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And try it out. current for

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the current Patreon members, we'll be

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selecting one member every week week

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for free membership for the month

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as well. month. Yeah, as well. would

1:36

do that. would do that. Um, refer

1:39

people to the the patron

1:41

I think Yeah, I think all 'all

1:43

saying saying. that 'all watch patreon

1:45

how good it is. When y

1:47

'all comment, comment, we re-retweet those those a

1:49

little bit more. So like when you when

1:51

you talk about the pot and everything

1:54

like that where we tweet you, a

1:56

shout give you a shout out, but, oh,

1:58

somebody sent something. They, this dude

2:00

funny, I don't know who, I'm

2:03

not giving him a shout out.

2:05

I don't want more people to

2:07

do this shit. But. He sent

2:09

his end of the year thing

2:11

from Spotify. And it showed like

2:13

how much he listened to us

2:16

and we were number one. But

2:18

there's like this new feature on

2:20

Instagram where it tells you to

2:22

shake to reveal the picture. So

2:24

in one picture he has, you

2:26

know, us is number one on

2:29

Spotify. And the picture, it's like

2:31

another little picture that he put

2:33

up there and I gotta shake

2:35

it to reveal. And he only

2:37

tagged me. It was just me,

2:39

and when I shake it to

2:42

reveal, it was him putting up

2:44

the middle finger. And it said,

2:46

I'm an audio listener. I said,

2:48

what the fucking stuff. That's one

2:50

look, that's the first clever audio

2:52

listener I met, bro. You clever

2:55

as hell, bro. I looked at

2:57

your picture, you dusty as fuck,

2:59

but you clever. You're a dirty

3:01

little niggler. So I was in

3:03

Cali and then there's Airbnb outstanding.

3:06

I had a really nice toilet.

3:08

First of all, the toilet was

3:10

like really nice. It had the

3:12

heated seats, had a little automatic

3:14

seat button, so it goes up

3:16

and down and shit like that.

3:19

But then it had a bad

3:21

day on it. And I said,

3:23

let me give this a try.

3:25

And so I won't lie. I

3:27

had a real time on. Okay,

3:29

okay, okay. This

3:31

is start with like the functionality,

3:33

right? It gets functionality. Fact functionality.

3:36

I don't know, sometimes I have

3:38

a little speech impediment. It's all

3:40

right, no, no, no, no. I

3:42

just like that you made up

3:44

a new word. That's not like

3:46

some West Coast shit. Oh, maybe.

3:48

Sometimes like my Nigerian accent. I

3:50

don't have one, really, but sometimes

3:52

it comes out for certain words,

3:54

especially like the C. That makes

3:56

sense. Yeah. But I keep forgetting

3:59

that you foreign. No,

4:01

no, no. You're not American. I'm Nigerian-American.

4:03

Okay, to the point. I was giving.

4:05

The toilet, the bidet. It works. We

4:07

can start there. It gets the job

4:10

done. It's efficient. Yeah, yeah. So that's

4:12

what we have to, and I think

4:14

it's more, you're cleaner than using tissue

4:16

and wipes. I would say that. the

4:19

feeling was a little weird at first.

4:21

I'm not gonna lie. So I didn't

4:23

know you can change the water temperature.

4:26

So the first time is a little

4:28

cold. So you know I was kind

4:30

of like jumping like those tensed up

4:32

the whole time. So then but then

4:34

they have a little thing where you

4:36

can make the water a little more

4:38

warmer and I think if the warm

4:40

water is a little more soothing. So

4:43

it's like. It was it wasn't a

4:45

terrible feeling but it was definitely was

4:47

very awkward because it had different spray

4:49

settings too. It had the the soup

4:51

that the jet wanted to shoot straight.

4:53

You know like when you have the

4:55

little spray bottles and you can make

4:57

it shoot straight or like more of

5:00

a mist. No, I'm vague. I'm like

5:02

this is probably like the most uncomfortable

5:04

I've been around you like I'm not

5:06

I'm not comfortable around you when you're

5:08

explaining it because when you did the

5:10

like you know when it's too cold

5:12

you like put your hands and I

5:14

was like I was like tense I

5:16

was like I had a little goosebumps

5:19

I was like tense I was like

5:21

I had a little goosebumps I was

5:23

like I had a little goosebumps I

5:25

was like it was very uncomfortable I

5:28

think the second time I actually tried and

5:30

knew what to expect, it was a little

5:32

more comfortable. I can't. It was still uncomfortable,

5:34

but it was still comfortable in the sense.

5:36

I can't. But the only way I would

5:38

ever do a bidet again is with a

5:41

nice toilet like that though. It has to

5:43

be like the heatest seas and everything. You

5:45

just can't have a look. Yeah, you can't

5:47

have a terrible ass toilet with a random

5:49

ass bidet because you can get the ones

5:51

you attach to the toilets and shit. I

5:53

need the whole functionality. That's what happened in

5:56

New Jersey, remember? Yeah, we didn't know it

5:58

had one. And the bidet started spraying. Not

6:01

of nobody's but though, just

6:04

in people's faces. Not in

6:06

my face though. Yeah, because

6:08

watch. All you heard was,

6:11

pshh, in the bathroom. And

6:13

my grand to the bathroom.

6:16

And no, and no one

6:18

knew how to, don't get

6:20

sprayed down without me. And

6:23

nobody knew how to, nobody

6:25

knew how to stop it.

6:29

Oh, a bathroom was just soaked.

6:31

No, that shit was wild though.

6:33

So I closed the door. I

6:36

didn't know what to do. You

6:38

just spray water. Oh, you closed

6:40

the door from the other side.

6:42

You said, get on! I could

6:44

take it all over. It's only

6:47

one person I know who can

6:49

save us from this. Now you

6:51

ever been with your home boy?

6:53

Like, because I feel like, you

6:56

know, some people don't grow up

6:58

around like older. men like when

7:00

they're like growing up they don't

7:02

grow up around like 17 18

7:04

19 year olds and I feel

7:07

like that's that's key to when

7:09

you're younger yeah to have somebody

7:11

that's like way older and can

7:13

teach you things a little bit

7:16

earlier than you're probably supposed to

7:18

get it. One time when I

7:20

was younger at a friend he

7:22

never got to come out like

7:24

he grew up he lived with

7:27

his mom and his grandma that's

7:29

where he was with them all

7:31

the time we could rarely get

7:33

him. run around in the backyard

7:36

playing football all day. We all

7:38

go get some water out the

7:40

water hose. And he was like

7:42

the one, he was last in

7:44

line. So everybody got water, everybody

7:47

put in the water, playing. He

7:49

is his turn and he won't

7:51

water. He put his whole mouth

7:53

on the hose and was like

7:56

swallowing and stuff. And I just

7:58

said it. Wouldn't a watch. a

8:04

drop

8:06

of

8:08

water

8:11

got

8:13

on

8:15

the

8:17

ground.

8:21

That was a thing for

8:23

us in college when dudes

8:25

asked for a waterfall and

8:27

Waterfall is different and I

8:29

think culturally in different places

8:31

what I know as a

8:33

waterfall is like no lips

8:36

touching like Skyfall. Yeah. Those

8:38

that we went to school

8:40

at. all the whole

8:42

mouth on it like is

8:44

theirs like some people some

8:46

people put their whole mouth

8:48

on it some people put

8:50

like the bottom of the

8:52

lip on it the bottom

8:54

of the lip on it

8:56

which is just worse yeah

8:58

and then the other people

9:00

they'll like the way they

9:02

grab it like you just

9:04

grab my the The part

9:06

of it, I don't know

9:08

what I'm describing. But no,

9:10

they put their hands where

9:12

your mouth will be. Yeah.

9:14

What the fuck? Freaky. Oh

9:16

my God. But the, but

9:18

I feel like especially people

9:20

in Wisconsin, they're really big,

9:22

like, try to drink people.

9:24

Yeah, they like they'll have

9:26

a drink and they'll like

9:28

try this drink. Yeah, or

9:30

they like want to bite

9:32

a your sound like I'm

9:34

like, brat. No, a bite

9:36

of my sandwich is crazy.

9:38

I've seen people do that.

9:40

Bited my sandwich is crazy.

9:42

And I see them grab

9:44

somebody else's bite. I bite

9:46

that bitch. I like that.

9:48

No, I want to do

9:50

drink my gator like that.

9:52

When we're in college. It

9:54

was like a waterfall and

9:56

he put his home like,

9:58

bro, it's yours. my brother.

10:00

Come on now. For a gay

10:03

array. What else do you

10:05

say? You can have the

10:07

gay array. That

10:09

was so crazy. That's yours, my

10:11

brother, that's crazy. He said, he

10:13

put his mouth on it. He

10:16

said, he put his mouth on

10:18

it. He said, it's yours. Come

10:20

on, gee? I said, well, I

10:23

gave him the gator rate with

10:25

the gator rate and he put

10:27

his whole mouth on it. Well,

10:29

how am I supposed to look

10:32

worth with it? What's your next

10:34

line? And then

10:36

he put his whole mouth

10:38

on it and I was

10:41

like, nah, you can, it's

10:43

all you're with my brother.

10:46

Oh my god. Oh, you

10:48

got your whole mouth. Oh,

10:50

you put your hand on

10:53

it? Oh, you put your

10:55

hand on it? It's yours,

10:57

my brother. That's not

11:00

even like a pet name people use.

11:02

I don't know how you're rolling. No,

11:04

I don't, I don't think that's a

11:06

pet name. You think gay men are

11:08

calling their gay partners a brother in

11:11

bed? Exactly. You

11:13

know what? You know somebody looking

11:15

at this like, come find out?

11:17

Just talking, man. Oh man. Oh

11:19

man, oh man. So I got

11:22

this, we got this new feature

11:24

for the podcast where we let

11:26

people leave voicemails for to be

11:28

played on the podcast. So we're

11:30

gonna listen to a few. These

11:33

could be bad, these could be

11:35

very good. We don't know, we

11:37

don't know. So this part might

11:39

even get cut off, it's not

11:42

good. All right, I'm gonna play

11:44

a couple. All right. think it's

11:46

like medium fat, you know what

11:48

I mean? Like, y'all y'all, if

11:50

y'all gonna have like a token

11:53

fat nitty, y'all need like a

11:55

real fat nitty, you know what

11:57

I'll fuck with you. I really

11:59

appreciate what he brings to the

12:01

podcast, but y'all need to highlight

12:04

him for something else, bro. He

12:06

can't be the token fat, bro.

12:08

We gotta do better, man. Really

12:10

gotta do better. He got a

12:12

point, man. I wish he was

12:15

here for that one. Yeah, no,

12:17

he got a point. What? Key

12:19

is not a token fact. He

12:21

not, he, not the, I get

12:23

it. He is catching strays because.

12:26

All right, I like that. We,

12:28

we're looking for a fat nigga.

12:30

If you a fat nigga. You

12:32

sound like he wanted a job.

12:34

Now he did sound fat. So

12:37

he's kind of jealous and he

12:39

was like, no I'm... I'd be

12:41

crazy if he was like 160

12:43

in shape. Like why do you

12:46

want us to get a fat

12:48

dude? So he definitely got to

12:50

be fat, that's insane. You know

12:52

what, I ran there as for

12:54

the day. My fuck is charging

12:57

you for that parlays. What the

12:59

fuck I look like giving you

13:01

10 to right now is for

13:03

a parlay for like 25 picks?

13:05

And they pipe it, they pipe,

13:08

they wager probably like a dollar,

13:10

a dollar they pipe it up,

13:12

the win is probably like a

13:14

thousand some dollars, that shit don't

13:16

hit, it ain't never going hit.

13:19

I'm not giving nobody no $25,

13:21

$10, $20 for no parlay, like

13:23

the fuck I live with that

13:25

bullshit. Just let everybody when somebody

13:27

want to see your ticket, just

13:30

show it, send it to them.

13:32

But no, give me 10 minutes,

13:34

we went out of here, we'll

13:36

see my guy. I've never, I've

13:38

never paid anybody for a pig.

13:41

I know, I know what he

13:43

sounded like. I know for sure,

13:45

I already, I know that like

13:47

tone. talk and stuff like that.

13:50

He owes somebody a lot of

13:52

money. Or he's just been a

13:54

victim of paying people for the

13:56

parlor. He fed, no. He's trying

13:58

to make his scene, he's trying

14:01

to downplay the money they owe

14:03

you. Boy, it's for some picks.

14:05

Boy, why is you even charging

14:07

for that shit? I hear it

14:09

all in his voice, though. Pay

14:12

that man his $25 for them

14:14

picks man. You use it. It

14:16

don't matter whether or not. Remember

14:18

when you guys are leaving these,

14:20

don't make him like three minutes.

14:23

Like that's a long time to

14:25

listen to something that might not

14:27

be funny or not. This one's

14:29

a 30 second one to see.

14:31

Man, my rent is basically, when

14:34

you're going through puberty, grade, in

14:36

high school, in middle school, whatever,

14:38

when you get a bonnet in

14:40

class, I feel like the teacher

14:42

should let you go in the

14:45

wash them up, you know, jerk

14:47

that shit up, get that shit

14:49

up. Because you know, Elsie, man,

14:51

we have a lot of testosterone.

14:54

I'm not gonna let that play.

14:56

See? You guys take a mile,

14:58

man. Well, I don't like people

15:00

spending money. I saw a bitch

15:02

post a whole spread. She owed

15:05

me $400. I'm really not going

15:07

for it. I might just got

15:09

to pull up on her honestly.

15:11

I don't like people spending money

15:13

when they owe me money. But

15:16

there's also not a lot of

15:18

people that actually owe me money.

15:20

I don't give money out to

15:22

people that. I'm not comfortable giving

15:24

money to. I don't I don't

15:27

blame every person that owes somebody

15:29

money because in some instances it's

15:31

like Why did that

15:33

person, why was that person even

15:35

able to borrow money from you?

15:37

Yeah. You know what I mean?

15:39

Because it's like, if it's somebody

15:42

you're really close to, you would

15:44

never put your, the person that

15:46

you're close to on the internet.

15:48

So if it's like a family

15:50

member or best friend or shit

15:52

that you lent the money, but

15:54

like these people would be like,

15:56

and she said blah blah, blah.

15:58

And then you like go to

16:00

the history and find out. don't

16:02

even know you. I haven't borrowed

16:05

anybody money in a minute. Hell

16:07

no. Yeah. Like I was giving,

16:09

I've given people money. Yeah. I

16:11

don't expect shit back because I

16:13

never want to be in it.

16:15

Like once it gets past a

16:17

certain thing. Yeah. If someone's like,

16:19

hey, I need like 500 for

16:21

this. I'll give them 300 and

16:23

say keep it. Because 500, I'm

16:26

gonna need you to pay that

16:28

shit back. You know what I

16:30

mean? Not just about take five

16:32

hundred and a million. How much

16:34

fucking money I get? Not taking

16:36

buy a hundred. Ain't know, I

16:38

found three hundred dollars in your

16:40

pocket, so I just spent it

16:42

when I'm a billionaire, I'd be

16:44

like, all right, about to spend

16:46

the night in jail too. Try

16:49

to leave an ass. Oh man,

16:51

hold on, you just follow my

16:53

voice. I feel like I would

16:55

be the best United States president

16:57

ever. Like, oh my God. Like,

16:59

see, like, I'm Mexican. So, and

17:01

we never had like a Mexican

17:03

president before, so not only, I'm

17:05

breaking barriers. I'm breaking berries already.

17:07

But. Like, I got

17:10

a reasonable amount of crash

17:12

out in, like, a reasonable

17:14

amount of, like, being a

17:16

cool last mother, like, like,

17:18

if some shit happens, I

17:20

won't trip out too hard,

17:23

bro. But, I dare another

17:25

country to try us, bro.

17:27

Like, I don't, I'm saying

17:29

in nukes, like, they full-fives.

17:31

Yeah, like, I'm, like, a

17:33

cool mixture between, like, Trump,

17:35

Obama and, like, JFK. I'm

17:38

not gonna lie, you put me

17:40

off as you want to take

17:42

me out, bro, because I'm not

17:44

gonna lie after four years, I

17:46

ain't getting out that motherfucking. You

17:49

gotta do me like JFK, blow

17:51

my head, move off, bro. But

17:53

I'm just letting you know, even

17:55

when I'm president, bro, I'm keeping

17:57

a fucking four-five army. Oh God!

17:59

want to call dude. You would

18:01

never be president. I don't even

18:03

think you can win class for

18:05

him. I don't think you can

18:08

win any election against anybody. Like

18:10

you went in an election to

18:12

still be human and it was

18:14

you versus a squirrel. And you

18:16

got the first human squirrel nigga.

18:18

Read me off his number. I

18:20

just text you to it. I'm

18:22

not even a listener call. We

18:24

just want to press this dude

18:27

about this. 36 one. Yo. What's

18:30

the deal? Oh, it's Mike

18:32

and Pat from Crafts Dummies,

18:34

man? What's the deal? Oh,

18:37

shoot, what the hell? We

18:39

got your number from a

18:41

prostitute, right? Oh, hell no.

18:44

We told her to give

18:46

her her her latest customer.

18:48

We played your voicemail thing

18:50

that you left and how

18:53

you become a good president.

18:55

And we're here to tell

18:57

you, you would not. Hear

19:01

me out. No, we heard me

19:03

out. You know, we saw your

19:06

voicemail. That was you when you

19:08

like, that was like scripted and

19:10

it sounded stupid. So I can

19:13

imagine what this improv by the

19:15

sound like. We're about to be

19:18

here for a long time. Go

19:20

ahead. Give me out. So, I

19:22

don't know. Put me in coach

19:25

for the God. Swear to God.

19:27

Yeah. I already knew that you

19:29

were going to talk like this.

19:32

You was talking like this when

19:34

it was scripted. It was like,

19:37

how did you stutter it? And

19:39

they could redo it. Yeah, no,

19:41

I was on the road. I'm

19:44

not going to redo that day.

19:46

Yeah. How old are you? I'm

19:49

22. What's your highest level of

19:51

education? I got, I'm

19:53

not gonna lie, I had some college, I

19:55

was not continuing to pay that shit man,

19:57

what's that? Yeah, you, maybe you do, maybe

19:59

you do. What would

20:01

you do for a living

20:04

right now? I work for

20:06

pets. That's good. Okay. So

20:08

what would you, what would

20:11

you, like your first, like,

20:13

what law would you put

20:15

into effect that's going to

20:18

help people? I'm not going

20:20

to get. Ain't

20:24

no laws wrong. I don't see

20:27

it this one. I'm just nuking

20:29

everybody. What's that? What's your position?

20:31

What's your position at Pepsi? I'm

20:34

doing third, but I'm not gonna lie.

20:37

I just, I just be driving this

20:39

shit. Okay, what I want you to

20:41

do is I want you to take

20:43

this present concept that you have in

20:46

your head and I want you to

20:48

bury it deep, deep, deep down. And

20:50

you're not allowed to use that until

20:52

you become shift leader. Before you can

20:55

think about being leader of this nation,

20:57

we're gonna be leader of your shift.

20:59

And then we can talk. Then we

21:01

will revisit this, okay? Nah.

21:04

I said I swear

21:06

God. I said the

21:09

same thing to CEO.

21:11

I told him, I'm

21:13

like, hey, make me

21:16

see yo. Turn this

21:18

around, bro. Can you

21:20

give us one full

21:22

thought before we get

21:25

out here? Just one

21:27

full like thought out

21:29

thought and you just

21:31

like think it all

21:34

the way through and

21:36

you finish the sentence

21:38

and there's like and

21:41

it makes sense. Hmm.

21:43

Hey shout out key.

21:46

I thought

21:48

I was

21:51

sentenced and

21:53

gave me

21:56

a three-word

21:58

sentence. out

22:01

key. Not shout out to key.

22:03

Can I give a shout out

22:05

to key? A yo, shout out

22:07

key. Oh man. Mom done. Oh,

22:09

so it was our birthdays recently.

22:11

And his number might give you

22:13

have it. There's some birthdays, it

22:15

was our birthdays, and I got

22:17

a lot of birthday messages, but

22:19

it's always interesting how people say

22:22

happy birthdays these days. So the

22:24

most interesting ones I got was

22:26

Bless Born Day and Cakes and

22:28

Candles Big Dog. The way he

22:30

said, would you wrap it? But

22:32

why can't nobody just says it

22:34

normal anymore? I didn't get, I'd

22:36

be born day. H-B-D's normal, that's

22:38

just abbreviated. This is my, this

22:40

is the most I've ever gotten

22:43

though. Yeah, for sure. I got

22:45

like, I don't know, it had

22:47

to be like over like 150

22:49

messages just from people like, from

22:51

the podcast. And it was a

22:53

lot of fuck yous and shit.

22:55

I get y'all playing, but like

22:57

I go to the, dude, it's

22:59

just like, sometimes I get it,

23:01

like, I click on a page

23:03

and it's like a 17 year

23:06

old kid, or some dude that

23:08

got all vehicles, it's a profile

23:10

of his profile picture. I'm like,

23:12

okay, that's cool. But like, if

23:14

I, if you say, hey man,

23:16

fuck you pat, I'm an audio

23:18

listener, have a terrible day, and

23:20

I click on your page. And

23:22

you got a nice family of

23:24

five and you like, you work

23:26

in finance, like you're a regular

23:29

dude telling me this shit right

23:31

now. What's going on with your

23:33

life man? I'd rather you take

23:35

it out on me than take

23:37

it on your family. never would

23:39

have like go back out of

23:41

due and then he like slay

23:43

his whole family. Fuck, I was

23:45

his last straw. I get the

23:47

most random insults, bro. I later

23:49

posted, or maybe today, yesterday, that

23:52

Skepta followed us, right? I was

23:54

like, fire, because I like Skepta

23:56

as an artist. And then, he

23:58

was like, get your dick out,

24:00

get his dick out, but I

24:02

was like, can't even be posting

24:04

what I'm excited about. Yeah, just

24:06

a random, bro. No, there's one

24:08

dude. One person sent me like

24:10

a random thing of like a

24:12

do like game spank and say

24:15

look at Mike. I'm like, bro,

24:17

what is going on to people

24:19

say? It's like they'll see something

24:21

super zesty on the internet and

24:23

be like, all right, let me

24:25

message Mike from Crash Dummies about

24:27

this. They're so weird though. Or

24:29

the ones, they'd be like, oh

24:31

this look like, they just send

24:33

me just things that they think

24:36

are funny. Yeah, yeah. I don't

24:38

know what they think. You think

24:40

I'm gonna go, oh my God,

24:42

this is so funny? Who are

24:44

you, bro? Oh shit, you should

24:46

come be a part of our

24:48

pot if you're sending me a

24:50

funny reel with five million views.

24:52

Nig I saw it already. Don't

24:54

send me that shit. Some of

24:56

y'le are funny though, I'll give

24:59

you know, especially, especially, you know

25:01

sometimes. People got like a really

25:03

good joke. Yeah, like that's that's

25:05

my goal for this show because

25:07

there's like millions of people that

25:09

they aren't funny. Yeah, but they're

25:11

funny sometimes. But if you package

25:13

it on the show, they can

25:15

get three listener callers over three

25:17

years and you know, have something

25:19

to look back on. Yeah, I

25:22

was one funny motherfath. Like no,

25:24

you just had three jokes. I

25:26

just want to go. But somebody

25:28

responded to Divers tell you what

25:30

somebody did when I wore that

25:32

nurse, Dr. Miami fit. You might

25:34

sit on the pot. That's it

25:36

on pot already? I'm not trying

25:38

to have any. Sorry, if y'all

25:40

didn't hear a stay, that's fucked

25:42

up. Hey, I didn't embarrass myself.

25:45

I got to stay on Mike

25:47

ass. You definitely told me this,

25:49

but I don't know what's talking

25:51

about. Mmm. That's the fucked up.

25:53

See, the fucked up part. And

25:55

people who always says like, Mike,

25:57

Mike. be having CTE and shit,

25:59

right? We, I legit don't remember

26:01

what we talk about. Let me

26:03

leave the room. Puck that, I'm

26:05

gonna say it. It is what

26:08

it is. Hey, listen, look, this

26:10

claim is here. If you call

26:12

me out on this, you a

26:14

bitch. On my soul, you're a

26:16

bitch. This are the new listeners.

26:18

Yes. So if you in the

26:20

comments right now and you didn't

26:22

make it to this part, you

26:24

heard you up in Daughter Down

26:26

before hearing this. I'm

26:30

already

26:33

coming

26:36

on

26:39

the

26:42

picture

26:45

and

26:48

said

26:52

Pat, you look like the type of

26:55

doctor to tell. I definitely did tell

26:57

this. I didn't tell this. Okay, he

26:59

said, Pat, you look like the type

27:02

of doctor to tell your patient, you'll

27:04

be right back. and

27:06

then go get Popeye. Yeah, that's what

27:08

you told this story. You told it.

27:11

But you might have said it on

27:13

paper. I don't know. But it's for

27:15

y'all. I knew that. But it's for

27:17

y'all. I knew that already. Man, this

27:20

is embarrassing. It's so hard, but we

27:22

have so many conversations. We talk a

27:24

lot, too. So it's always hard to

27:26

dissect whether it's like, from patron or

27:29

conversation. Oh, actual conversation we had. There's

27:31

something that we didn't hold on. There's

27:33

gonna be five minutes away. Okay. There.

27:35

No, you're good. Good. There's. In real

27:38

life. I just got a text. Somebody's

27:40

gonna be on a pie. Five minutes

27:42

away. What was I say? This is

27:44

got the list of cars and then

27:46

New York will be here when we.

27:49

Yeah. my fellow CTE people out there

27:51

or short memory people out there that

27:53

you forget stuff, it's just me, we

27:55

got the most creative minds. I don't

27:58

forget stuff in real life either. I

28:00

forget conversation. When you talk in real

28:02

life, man, and for a living you're

28:04

gonna forget shit. Yeah. Especially you're gonna

28:07

forget where the conversation, the conversation, it's

28:09

funny though. I will as far as

28:11

say that. And this is improv, we

28:13

don't like write our shit out, so

28:16

like, hey, I might have been talking

28:18

about some shit, I didn't even take

28:20

no songs. Like, come on man, you

28:22

know how many times you face time

28:25

somebody and you face time them and

28:27

you like, oh shit, what up bro,

28:29

and the intro go too long. And

28:31

then you forget the reason why you

28:33

called them. And there's friends, especially with

28:36

like partners, I repeated stuff to people

28:38

I've been with. like stories over and

28:40

over like that I've already told them

28:42

about and just repeating stories. My dad

28:45

does that a lot. My cousin, man,

28:47

this dude, my cousin Brandon did that

28:49

to me. I still want to, I

28:51

still want to beat his ass. A

28:54

little cousin Brandon. He called me one

28:56

time and I was like at a

28:58

basketball game or like I just we

29:00

just was playing for that wreck. Yeah.

29:03

And he saw the background he was

29:05

like oh damn you hooping. I'm like

29:07

yeah yeah just got done hooping blah

29:09

blah. He was like all right bro

29:12

hit me back when you get home.

29:14

I was like all right back like

29:16

it was a good conversation. And then

29:18

so I hit him back when I

29:20

got home he was like oh yeah

29:23

granny died. What

29:26

the fuck? How you break

29:28

the news back then? Who

29:30

sent this little nigger to

29:32

break the news to me?

29:34

We got so many older

29:36

people in our family. He

29:38

was like 18, 19. Who

29:40

sent this coal-hearted bitch to

29:42

me? Nah, Granny died, dude.

29:44

How many points you score?

29:47

How are we going to

29:49

get the listener callers, man?

29:52

I sound like Mars Simpson. Bart! Walmart! How

29:54

do you think I can do that? Yeah.

29:56

episode is presented to you by underdog. Turn

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make you pick higher. Okay. But I'm Ryan

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32:25

Good with your boys man, glad

32:27

to be here bro. Yeah. All

32:29

right. Well, I've been, I've been,

32:32

I've been talking for a minute

32:34

though, that's why I said that,

32:37

but don't start roasting, man. No,

32:39

no, no. We're not roasting, bro.

32:41

We're chilling, we're chilling with chilling.

32:44

Was something that's supposed to be

32:46

sexy, but does absolutely nothing for

32:48

you. But I don't

32:50

know, I don't see what people get out

32:53

of that. Like I ain't never had my

32:55

mouth fit in, but like I'd have been

32:57

with a few women myself and they don't,

32:59

they don't ask me to do that. And

33:01

I'm like, what you mean like spend your

33:04

mouth? Like you want to lose your, you're

33:06

just trying to get like a little. You

33:08

know what I'm saying? Like what the fuck?

33:10

Like what type of shit is that. A

33:13

girl's never spit in your mouth. No,

33:15

no, no, never did that. That's just gross to

33:17

me, bro. I don't know what they're wholly doing

33:19

in their free time. She already,

33:21

it's already, it's already, you, bro,

33:24

you, no. That's gotta be seen,

33:26

that's not, dude, to be tripping,

33:28

man. Nigg I won't hear you

33:30

talking about, uh, spit, but he,

33:32

ask. Hey, yo, no, don't start

33:34

that shit, don't start that, don't

33:36

start that, don't start that, don't

33:38

start that, you know, I'll be

33:40

on your side, you never, I

33:43

sort of got to, I put

33:45

that on my mouth down there,

33:47

bro, bro, like, like, like, like,

33:49

like, These holes are treacherous,

33:51

bro. Why don't I say it to

33:53

myself? But that means you said there's

33:56

a possibility for the right one. Yeah,

33:58

for my, like my girl. Yeah. And

34:00

we gotta be like. got the requirements.

34:02

He got the requirements. Your requirements. Your

34:05

requirements just haven't been met yet. That's

34:07

all. You imagine. Imagine eating as in

34:09

a four bedroom home. I get it.

34:12

Well, I get it. Well, I think.

34:14

Hey, bro, but look, so that's 15,

34:16

oh, bro, like, already got. I'm a

34:18

home owner already, bro, like, I'm 31.

34:21

I got a four bedroom home already,

34:23

boy. I just got a fine. You

34:25

know, I just got to find the

34:27

young lady to come in and let

34:30

me, you know, get nasty with. You

34:32

got a lot of ladies that's listening

34:34

to the show right now. All right?

34:37

No, no, no. So look, look, look,

34:39

look, look. So I got, so like,

34:41

I recently just got this young lady

34:43

that I'm dating, so like, I'm gonna

34:46

see how that goes. No, no, no,

34:48

no, we're just brand new though. We

34:50

only been dating for like a month,

34:52

bro, last week, made a month, like,

34:55

it's, why, you come on this, no,

34:57

no, no, look, we just brand new

34:59

though, we only been dating for like,

35:02

a month, bro, last week, made a

35:04

month, like, it's too old. Why are

35:06

you, come on this bitch, talking like,

35:08

you single though? Because holes

35:11

can be holes in niggles can be

35:13

niggles, bro. That's life. You got you

35:15

got women, you got men, you got

35:17

niggles, you got holes, bro. You just

35:19

saying words, no. But you listen to

35:21

those. You had me for a little

35:23

bit. All right, bro, you're a good

35:25

one. Hey, I appreciate y'all, boys. Hey,

35:27

man, I'm a Patreon guy too, bro.

35:29

But some audio listeners, put some broken

35:31

niggas, bro, they always gonna be broam.

35:33

We watching on YouTube, too, bro. Yes,

35:35

sir. Got out to North Carolina. We

35:37

from North Carolina, bro, I got all

35:39

my niggas out here in North Carolina,

35:41

rock and ball, man. Shout out to

35:43

everybody, I hope well, man. Yeah,

35:46

making the fuck out

35:48

of here, bro. All

35:50

right, bro. What do

35:53

you do? What do

35:55

you do? What do

35:57

you do? Yeah.

36:00

It's always funny. Call it key

36:02

on the phone because he should

36:04

be sitting right here. But anyway,

36:06

we got a question for you.

36:08

What's something that's supposed to be

36:10

sexy but does absolutely nothing for

36:12

you? Oh my, mom. Now look.

36:14

I'm a real genuine dude, so

36:16

I care so much about natural

36:18

looks. But when women do them

36:20

duck faces, that shit is so

36:22

ugly. You're like, y'all gotta cut

36:25

that shit out, man. Like, it

36:27

look like booty holes on y'all

36:29

face. Sit there, y'all y'all need

36:31

is some black lipstick, and every

36:33

time I see that, all I

36:35

do is grab tissue, like y'all

36:37

got shit on y' all this.

36:39

What's wrong with you all, man?

36:41

My niggles is not... Then the

36:43

niggles that they doing in Ford

36:45

broke. Like, why is you making

36:47

booty-home fake? Anything who find out

36:49

attractive can run me with the

36:51

ones. Because y'all are the reasons

36:53

why they out here doing that

36:55

shit. Why the fuck is all

36:57

out here making booty-hole faces? Who

37:00

told you that was okay? Nah,

37:02

women, it's okay. Y'all just can't

37:04

do it like every picture, right?

37:06

Listen up past, no name. No,

37:08

it ain't. That's good, bro. You,

37:10

you smile. Nah, you say use

37:12

your smile. Show your natural face.

37:14

Your other beautiful. You don't need

37:16

to look like no booty-ho to

37:18

get no man. So what about

37:20

the dudes that take all the

37:22

pictures and shices? Oh yeah, y'

37:24

y' y' y' y' y' y'

37:26

y' y' y' y' y' y's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's's'

37:29

I don't think I've ever stuck my

37:31

middle finger up in the picture all

37:33

the time. Hey, they saying fuck the

37:35

world and fuck the earth. In my

37:37

say, fuck the world every picture. You're

37:39

not gonna be able to show your

37:42

daughter no pictures of you. Every picture

37:44

he is him sticking his middle finger

37:46

out. When you had kids, I don't

37:48

think I've ever stuck my middle finger

37:50

up in the picture. No,

37:52

my manager definitely got on that for

37:54

me. So, ah, my manager got on

37:56

me about that. So now I gotta

37:58

come up with a new hand phrase.

38:00

But. just me saying but society. You

38:02

know what I'm saying? I don't like

38:05

manage your name. Hey man, don't worry

38:07

about my business man. You signed or

38:09

not? Look what he's saying now. Now

38:11

we gonna talk after this. You're talking

38:13

about he got a better man. He's

38:16

like, hey, my manager said,

38:18

I'm not coming in today.

38:20

Hey, Key, if I was

38:22

you, I would go to

38:25

your third page or your

38:27

crash to me's contract, bro.

38:29

It looked real closely. I

38:31

got a surprise. Y'all are

38:33

really bomb. The dude is

38:35

really good bomb. That's why

38:37

the girls get after free

38:39

at the clubs. But be

38:42

yourself, man. Stop all that

38:44

BS. You don't need no

38:46

makeup, no deck filter. Just

38:48

small and half fun. Hey.

38:50

But that's all. Julation. Julation's

38:52

one on one, man. Come

38:54

on, man. Just some teachers.

38:57

All right, man. Love like

38:59

that. They all start at

39:01

two Excel and up. No,

39:03

we should do the keylation

39:05

stuff. Yeah, but no, only

39:07

fat niggas can buy his

39:09

merch. Oh, he was some

39:12

dude on here with voicemail.

39:14

He said, y'all got key

39:16

as a token fat dude,

39:18

and then I found out

39:20

he not fat. Y'all need

39:22

somebody fatter on y'all show.

39:24

So we're asking you, do

39:27

you want us to look

39:29

for another fat person? Well,

39:31

not a fatter person. Yeah,

39:33

a fatter person. Well, I

39:35

mean. I'm not fat so

39:37

like you always say a

39:39

fatter a fatter person we

39:42

don't want to say the

39:44

other word you feel me?

39:46

Oh yeah I bet you

39:48

I don't know I got

39:50

I like to show my

39:52

muscles off and if so

39:54

if y'all get somebody big

39:57

next to me I'm a

39:59

little small we

40:02

gotta, you

40:05

know what

40:08

I'm saying,

40:11

we gotta,

40:13

I gotta

40:16

keep my

40:19

image up

40:22

now. I

40:25

want to look bigger

40:27

next to it. Said

40:29

the last dude in

40:32

the orgy. No, that

40:34

would be crazy though,

40:36

like going to a

40:38

forest and somebody bigger

40:41

than you. Like, no,

40:43

no, no, we need

40:45

a... No, no, no,

40:48

that's funny. Would you

40:50

walk out? It

40:52

depends on who the female is.

40:54

I don't know. It was probably,

40:57

what's her name? I hope y'all

40:59

are all this too. I mean,

41:01

hold on, what do you think

41:04

is her name? Pinky. Thank you

41:06

if you out there? Listen. I'm

41:08

ready. Oh, God, aggressive, quick. All

41:10

right. She be packing people now

41:13

though. You said, who? She'd be

41:15

packing people now. That's what she

41:17

do. That's her 2024th. The

41:20

thing I'm not people, I

41:22

don't know what. I'm just

41:24

saying, if she say, if

41:26

you say you're ready, I

41:28

think. No, Pinky, I'm not,

41:31

I'm not, I'm not for

41:33

getting paid. I'll do the

41:35

begging to you. All right,

41:37

all right, right, right. Well,

41:39

I'll let you, bro. You're,

41:42

no, I ain't no way,

41:44

bro, bro. That's crazy. I

41:46

mean, it's a IG call.

41:49

Yeah, I know, I know, I

41:51

know, I'm here, I'm here, but

41:53

no, I've been, I've been messaging

41:55

y'all for a second. What's up

41:57

for a second? What's up for

41:59

a got a patreon? Oh, okay. Now

42:02

you're here man. Yeah, it, man. yeah. We

42:04

got a question for you. What's something that's a

42:06

question for you. be something

42:08

that's supposed to be sexy,

42:10

but does absolutely nothing for

42:12

you? you? Sex talk man. I

42:14

sex talk, man. I just, I

42:16

don't man. it, man. Like, be

42:18

be sitting there, sending chats and

42:21

It takes back and forth time all

42:23

year. me lick me neck

42:25

or kiss you, you. It's

42:27

like, You get there and of

42:29

that of that happens. What do we do

42:31

doing this for? are we doing

42:33

this Is that the only reason you don't like

42:35

it because it doesn't don't workout for you.

42:38

it ain't gonna say out

42:40

you I ain't gonna say

42:42

for anybody, I don't

42:44

know for me, but like, I ain't gonna

42:46

it for if it's not

42:49

everybody? I don't know everybody's situation. Who's

42:51

it for? I can't

42:53

speak everyone. I can only

42:55

speak from people that I've known

42:57

within a personal experience. and within

43:00

a so just say yourself. experience.

43:03

ha. Right, yourself.

43:05

So just say yourself. No.

43:07

No, it it works

43:09

out, but it don't

43:12

but it don't because

43:14

you, why would you put all

43:16

these messages message? Yeah, you put all

43:19

these What's going on? Who are

43:21

you the message? Yeah,

43:23

this is girl, couple years

43:26

ago, man. years ago, man. It's

43:28

always There's always As always a always

43:30

a root cause or something. It's

43:33

always, it's always one,

43:35

man. But you got to say to her? say

43:37

to her. Why you leave me on

43:39

like Why are you leaving me

43:41

all I that, man? thought I was gonna, I thought I

43:43

I'm going to go over there and turn something

43:45

up there for minutes of play. of

43:47

place. No, that's it, that's

43:49

it though, man. I don't man.

43:51

I don't captain that. Yeah

43:58

I'm one good, here! mean I ain't. what's

44:00

something that's supposed to be sexy,

44:03

but not here boy. Hi, man.

44:05

All right, bro, you have a

44:07

good one. Freaky, man. Stay your

44:10

ass inside, man. Yo, shit. What's

44:12

up? Shit, what up? What up?

44:14

Brown much, probably. Both shit in

44:17

the way. All right, I got

44:19

a question for you. What's up,

44:21

what's up, what's up, what's something

44:24

that supposed to be sexy, but

44:26

does absolutely nothing for you? Daddy

44:30

man, that's just played out.

44:32

What? That's shame for me.

44:34

Daddy? Who daddy? Daddy, daddy.

44:36

I don't like that. I

44:39

don't like one girl's calling

44:41

that, bro. You know, granite,

44:43

granite, granite. I think it's

44:46

because I'm a vener and

44:48

I prefer poppy. But yeah,

44:50

that's for the birds, man.

44:52

Well, call me chef, you

44:55

know, I'll be kicking with

44:57

that shit, too. You're

45:01

scaring the girls brother. Yeah, you

45:03

know, man. They'd be down, bro,

45:05

when you're not in their mouth,

45:08

it's like, thank you, chef. Let

45:10

me down, let me down, don't

45:12

it? I've never wanted to fight

45:15

somebody so old. No, I feel

45:17

like that was his plan. He's

45:19

like, I mean, get on here,

45:22

I'm gonna try to make these

45:24

boys laugh. They're not gonna laugh.

45:26

No, no, no, no, no. No,

45:28

what is it? Nah, bro. I'll,

45:31

man. I'll record it next time

45:33

and I'll send it to you

45:35

guys. So I'll DM that shit

45:38

for you. Don't eat trip. Bro,

45:40

I swear to God I will

45:42

find you in father. What? Bro,

45:44

I got you. I got you.

45:47

I got you. I'll do it.

45:49

Yeah, bro. You know what, I

45:51

would, you know, I'm not a

45:54

threat. Anybody? Yeah, I'm not going.

45:56

No man. And I actually blew

45:58

up leak this out. don't bleed

46:01

my shit out, bro. 10K can

46:03

go a long way. I got

46:05

to go back to work. Just

46:07

remember that 10K can go a

46:10

long way, brother. Like, I'm a

46:12

damn you, bro, don't you? I'm

46:14

gonna do it. We're blocking you

46:17

right now, though. 10K. Hey for

46:19

your last vacation, man. I got

46:21

you. Hey, what's up

46:24

guys? How you doing? Pretty

46:26

good, pretty good. We got

46:28

a question for you. What's

46:30

something that's supposed to be

46:32

sexy, but does absolutely nothing

46:35

for you? Nudes, man. Nudes

46:37

suck. Is it just like,

46:39

like, what sucks about them?

46:41

Or is it the girls

46:43

or guys that are sending

46:46

you the news? Like, it's,

46:48

you know, it's usually getting

46:50

news, because, like, Yeah,

46:52

but it's like, why is

46:54

it there, bro, at the

46:57

end, because like, once you

46:59

got them, bro, and then

47:01

you're stroking your shit, it's

47:03

like, it's not her, dog,

47:05

it's pictures. Yeah, but listen,

47:07

you know, it's okay to,

47:09

like, get news and just

47:11

admire them without, you ain't

47:13

got a whack off, brother.

47:15

Yeah, but it's like, why

47:17

is it there, bro, bro?

47:23

No, you just complained about a

47:26

naked woman. You just complained about

47:28

a naked woman. And you're telling

47:30

me you like, you say, man,

47:33

I hate when I get naked.

47:35

Fast on a crusade today. That's

47:37

what you just said. You're like,

47:40

do you hate naked women? No.

47:42

Then why do you hate those?

47:44

You two free people. That's the

47:47

situation. You horn in. You wouldn't

47:49

like a naked picture of your

47:51

woman. No,

47:53

but it's just that after that like,

47:55

that hour what you were doing, what

47:57

you were doing, what you would do.

48:01

you

48:03

want

48:06

them

48:08

to

48:10

do

48:12

is

48:14

look

48:16

at

48:18

his

48:20

reflection

48:23

during

48:25

sex.

48:28

They re-mirous places. Oh, yes. When you're

48:30

coming to South Africa, man, I'm trying

48:32

to see a live show. Oh, you're

48:34

in South Africa? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

48:36

was trying to figure out what the

48:39

accent. Hey, if there's a man out

48:41

there, we'll be out there. If it's

48:43

only you, they'll know. Nah,

48:46

not, you get like a

48:49

group of two, you get

48:51

200 people to say they

48:53

come to our show, they'll

48:56

come over whatever. And we're

48:58

just lower price, $100 to

49:00

take it, that's it. Nah,

49:02

nah, nah, get you, get

49:05

you a popularity out, man.

49:07

No, I'm with us, man.

49:09

Humbel us, man. We're starting

49:12

to come up, man. No,

49:14

what you do for a

49:16

living? No, I'm gonna save

49:18

you, but I'm gonna save

49:21

you. Where's Craig? What's Craigin,

49:23

Brody? Shit, shit. You good?

49:25

I'm straight. Hey, that's good

49:28

to hear, bro. What's the

49:30

word? What's the word? I

49:37

bet you a good guy

49:39

dude. I bet you a

49:41

good person. Probably got money

49:43

too, huh? Oh shit. Like

49:46

shit. Ball it on? All

49:48

right lame ass niggles. All

49:50

right lame ass niggles. All

49:52

right lame ass niggles. I

49:54

got a question for you.

49:56

That's what all these questions

49:58

is it. what is Black

50:01

Man? Well, I'm just saying

50:03

like, usually you ever just

50:05

been in the McDonald's lawn,

50:07

but just two minutes. It's

50:09

just one, two months ago,

50:11

it's like I've been here

50:13

for two hours. This one

50:15

was used to start moving.

50:18

Like, y'all know it only

50:20

take that long and throw

50:22

some frogs in the back.

50:28

Like, because I don't know,

50:30

but like, that should just

50:32

be mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

50:34

why is this on your

50:36

mind? Blow like, yeah, yeah,

50:38

why is this on your

50:40

mind? Blow like, cause, I

50:42

don't know, but like, that

50:44

should just be mom blowing

50:46

like. Just throw the frogs

50:48

in the bag with some

50:50

money. It should not take

50:52

five hours. I've been here

50:54

for three minutes. Why is

50:56

it taking all the whole

50:58

hours for some fries in

51:00

the bag? Does that spice

51:02

food or do you want

51:04

to take time? Oh. Is

51:06

that all you get when

51:08

you go there? Just fries?

51:10

Well, no. You get a

51:12

little sound. Who you don't

51:14

take? But they slapping that

51:16

shit together. What's taking so

51:18

long. You get so much

51:20

stuff. Like, like, did you

51:22

ever find the answer to

51:24

answer to this question? Hell

51:27

no I

51:30

think more

51:32

for this

51:35

I don't

51:37

think I'm

51:39

just in

51:42

a patient

51:44

but still

51:47

I Shouldn't

51:49

be waiting

51:51

three minutes

51:54

You know, I'm chilling like doing

51:57

to keep on killing. Okay. you

51:59

rather marry the first person you

52:01

ever slept with or work at

52:03

your first job forever? Without question,

52:05

I'm gonna make the first person

52:07

I slept with. Why's that? So

52:09

first of all, that was my

52:11

first girlfriend. Did I know what

52:13

I'm saying back in high school?

52:16

She took a niggasee card and

52:18

every time. But I'm on top

52:20

of that. Niggas is just you.

52:22

You said what? You said niggas.

52:24

So you said plural. Like, is

52:26

that just you? Don't,

52:29

don't follow me. Oh no,

52:31

I'm just wondering. Oh, he's

52:33

still, oh, you love her.

52:35

Let him pass. He's like,

52:37

go go ahead, my bad.

52:39

Hey, Loki. But no, see,

52:41

he hears things. So, uh,

52:43

so I joined the military

52:45

a couple years ago. And

52:47

you know, I go home

52:49

every now and then, but

52:51

I'll, some heart shaped tattoos

52:53

around the, around the aerial.

52:55

I said, oh. She free.

52:57

This is a dangerous woman

52:59

right here. What was your

53:01

first job? My first, uh,

53:04

I was working at Kroger,

53:06

my first job. Kroger. Nah,

53:08

that shit was quite bad.

53:10

You never, you never, I

53:12

never heard that. You're in

53:14

a relationship right now? Hell

53:16

yeah. I was literally about

53:18

to say that he talked

53:20

like he got his lips

53:22

to the sorrow. Why don't

53:24

we tell you something? He

53:26

in the other room. Yeah,

53:28

he definitely downstairs. Why do

53:30

people come on this podcast

53:32

to jeopardize their current relationships?

53:34

Oh, no, no, no, I

53:36

ain't doing all that. But

53:38

you just said when we

53:41

asked you, you still want

53:43

her back and you like

53:45

low key. Wow, you said

53:47

they were still out here.

53:49

She was a cook, but

53:51

she was a eater, real

53:53

beat her, top tier skater.

53:55

But that's still cheating. mean

53:57

that was years ago you

53:59

know what you're gonna do

54:01

so what you gonna do

54:03

you can't gas like us

54:05

I'm no no no no

54:07

no no no no no

54:09

no no I don't go

54:11

gas like me bro I'm

54:13

not here I'm not here

54:15

I'm not here I'm not

54:18

here that was years ago

54:20

that was years ago you

54:22

know that was years ago

54:24

you know that's the past

54:26

you cool people Shout out

54:28

to you. I was for

54:30

your name, but y'all, y'all,

54:32

n'all n'all n'all n'all y'all

54:34

put that pressure on us.

54:36

Don't even do that, bro.

54:38

We already got one nigget

54:40

kicked out of Thanksgiving, that's

54:42

enough. We not get nobody

54:44

removed for Christmas. Now, that's

54:46

too cruel. Thanksgiving, I ain't

54:48

feel bad about that shit.

54:50

Shit, n'all be saving money.

54:54

No, no, no, no, no,

54:56

no. Look, we got Adam

54:58

and all that's what? And

55:00

all that's what? And all

55:02

that's what? And all as

55:04

you have, we got a

55:06

little more, we're gonna, hey,

55:08

we're gonna save, hey, we're

55:10

gonna save, hey, we're gonna

55:12

save, hey, we're gonna save,

55:14

hey, we're gonna, hey, we're

55:17

gonna save, hey, we're gonna

55:19

save, you have a good

55:21

one, man, Merry Christmas, Merry

55:23

Christmas, shout out to the

55:25

pot. I ain't paying for

55:27

no patient on this shit.

55:29

Pack you ugly as fuck.

55:31

But no, that'll be up.

55:33

Oh no. Yeah. Listen, when

55:35

I tell you, pack your

55:37

bags, bitch. You out of

55:39

there. I promise you you're

55:41

going to be out that

55:43

fucking house. Sorry for that

55:45

niege. Hello. Hey. How's it

55:47

going? Okay. Welcome to Crazimme's

55:49

podcast. I

55:51

said it all my time. I say

55:53

welcome to Crabs on his podcast. Yeah,

55:56

I like y'all y'all real though, like

55:58

y'all funny as hell man. you

56:01

two. Oh, okay. I got

56:03

a question for you. I

56:06

already got a question for

56:08

you. We got a question

56:11

for you. What's up? A

56:13

question for you. What's up?

56:16

A question. Yeah, Pat. We

56:18

got two truths and a

56:21

lie. Uh-huh. So I'll go

56:23

ahead and tell you your

56:26

two truths in the line.

56:28

We'll guess. Yeah, go ahead.

56:31

Go ahead. Go ahead. Go

56:33

ahead. Sorry. I can never

56:36

be able to. No, go

56:38

ahead. Sorry. I can never

56:41

be thankful. Um, I'm honestly

56:43

up for it. And the

56:46

lie. What the No, you're

56:48

not supposed to tell us.

56:51

My dad. My dad, man.

56:53

My dad. My dad. What

56:56

was the last one, though?

56:58

My man. Okay, so it

57:01

was I could never be

57:03

faithful. I was too for

57:06

your boy. And I just

57:08

don't never want to be

57:11

married. So you do

57:13

want to be married, but what's

57:15

it? Wait, you know, it's a

57:18

lie. Yeah, I know, but so

57:20

you're not, you're not faithful? No,

57:22

I just can't find it in

57:25

me, man. I'm sorry. Like I

57:27

feel like, I guess I did

57:29

all that in my younger years

57:32

and got dog to fuck out.

57:34

So I'm gonna be a dog

57:36

with y'all. So what makes you

57:39

honest, three or four is a

57:41

whole, right? Yeah. So what makes

57:43

you, what makes you an honest

57:46

whole? I mean, I love an

57:48

honest hold. I don't know. You

57:50

don't know. You don't know. You

57:53

don't live in denial with me.

57:55

Say, you do what you doing.

57:57

You know, you're folks. got

58:00

it, got it. Also it's like no regrets

58:02

type of thing. Yeah, you know, like most

58:04

most girls try to sing it, you know

58:07

what I mean? But it's just like everybody

58:09

got hoe in them. Like I'm gonna put

58:11

you a good girl, bad girl, you know,

58:14

even when nuggets, like everybody got a little

58:16

hoe in them. So, why might it? Instead

58:18

of just owning that shit. Breech. So

58:21

yeah. I'm going to

58:24

stay neutral. I'm going

58:26

to stay real neutral.

58:28

I'm not. We appreciate

58:30

you going on. All

58:32

right. All right. You

58:34

just, you, okay. Later.

58:36

Okay. Later. I was

58:38

about to say something

58:40

crazy. No, I was

58:42

about to say something

58:45

crazy. I was like,

58:47

let me leave it

58:49

alone. Oh man. Oh,

58:51

welcome to Crazzumi's podcast.

58:53

Thank you, thank you.

58:55

All right. Where you

58:57

live at? Where you

58:59

got to sleep right

59:01

now? You must not

59:03

live in America. No,

59:06

I don't. I live in

59:08

Zimbabwe. Is it Babu? Zimbabwe?

59:10

It's crazy. Okay, okay. Shout

59:12

out to Zimbabwe. Shout out

59:14

to the nation. You know

59:16

what? We should also shout

59:18

out? What? All your listeners?

59:20

Yeah. Anyway, we're playing two

59:22

truths in the lie, so let's

59:25

go. Okay, so I think

59:27

the first thing I put was

59:29

got chased by a giraffe.

59:31

And then the second thing I

59:34

put was... Um,

59:36

French kiss the cow and

59:38

the third thing I put

59:40

was, I had a pet

59:42

leopard or something. Yeah. Oh

59:44

my god. Well, I'm gonna

59:46

take a wild guess and

59:48

say the or something is

59:50

a lie. Let's know detective

59:53

here. Um, okay, let's start.

59:55

Like, why did you tongue

59:57

kiss a cow? do you

59:59

think Delay is? He said,

1:00:01

or something, he said, I

1:00:03

got a leopard or something.

1:00:05

No, yeah. You guys say,

1:00:07

you got a pet hyena

1:00:09

or something like that. Oh,

1:00:11

yes, I do. I don't

1:00:13

know what I think. Why

1:00:15

did you tell Kiss a

1:00:17

cow? Okay, it's not okay.

1:00:19

So it's not like I

1:00:21

wanted to. Like, I'm not

1:00:23

interested. But like, I can

1:00:25

explain. So. I was at

1:00:27

a village, it was like,

1:00:29

it was last Christmas, and

1:00:31

I was chilling with my

1:00:33

cousins and were outside like

1:00:35

the, like the cow enclosure,

1:00:38

and one of my cousins

1:00:40

brought me an apple, but

1:00:42

my hands were dirty because

1:00:44

I've been touching the cows,

1:00:46

and like I, I've caught

1:00:48

poop in my hands. So

1:00:50

I just fit into the

1:00:52

apple and I was holding

1:00:54

it in my mouth. And

1:00:56

I was feeding one of

1:00:58

the cows like grass because

1:01:00

it wasn't grass inside the

1:01:02

actual enclosure. And turns out

1:01:04

cows prefer apples to grass.

1:01:06

So it kind of shifted

1:01:08

from my hand to my

1:01:10

mouth. And they are surprisingly

1:01:12

long time. And at first,

1:01:14

like my first instinct was

1:01:16

to fight it instead of

1:01:18

just letting off the apple.

1:01:20

So like for a good

1:01:22

three seconds, I was like

1:01:25

trying to like fight it,

1:01:27

but eventually I had cow

1:01:29

slobber all over me. And

1:01:31

yeah. Man, that's, that's, that's

1:01:33

real unfortunate. Why'd you have

1:01:35

cow shit not just in

1:01:37

your hand randomly? No,

1:01:40

because like in like the clock in

1:01:42

like the car pens, like where they

1:01:44

sleep in, they just sit in there.

1:01:46

So like the ground is literally covered

1:01:48

in shit. So when they lie down

1:01:50

and then they stand up, if you

1:01:52

touch it like 70% of the time,

1:01:54

you're probably kind of like the car

1:01:57

shit. So how did you get chased

1:01:59

by a giraffe? we're

1:02:02

driving and then we're like

1:02:04

drive okay I don't want

1:02:07

to like make like you

1:02:09

know like the stereotypical no

1:02:11

no you are doing that

1:02:14

we don't have giraffe walking

1:02:16

around in the city like

1:02:18

we don't have that like

1:02:21

we were driving maybe like

1:02:23

30 minutes out of 50

1:02:25

and giraffe like pretty territorial

1:02:28

so it started just charging

1:02:30

at the car and the

1:02:33

ground like the road was

1:02:35

pretty rough so you couldn't

1:02:37

like really speed up and

1:02:40

it started charging at the

1:02:42

car and like trying to

1:02:44

like knock the car over

1:02:47

and but nothing serious happened.

1:02:49

Was that the wildest thing

1:02:52

you got chased by? Not

1:02:54

every day. Sorry?

1:02:56

No, a drive ring, 30

1:02:59

minutes out your city is,

1:03:01

that's still not nothing, you

1:03:03

know? But he makes it

1:03:05

as close as hell. If

1:03:07

I go 30 minutes outside

1:03:09

of my city, I'm just

1:03:11

seeing the cows you fucked,

1:03:13

that's about it. Nigged though,

1:03:15

you're just gonna skip over

1:03:17

that. Nigged at first I

1:03:19

fought it, but after three

1:03:21

seconds, three seconds, you gave

1:03:23

up. All right, man get

1:03:25

some sleep, man. All right,

1:03:28

both. Thank you. Child to

1:03:30

the nation. Yope. Yope. What's

1:03:32

up? Well, the Crash Lemmes

1:03:34

podcast. You say you had

1:03:36

Tweet of the Week? I

1:03:38

do. All right, let's hear

1:03:40

it. All right, let me

1:03:42

pull it up real quick.

1:03:44

All right, it's like a

1:03:46

three part. Okay. This is

1:03:48

this really my grown man

1:03:50

meet. Oh, yeah. And then

1:03:52

another dude said. on

1:03:55

god dude like i'm six five two

1:03:57

bro and i got four inches it

1:03:59

ain't the of

1:04:01

my problems but I'm

1:04:03

cooking and then the

1:04:05

dude that originally tweeted

1:04:07

it to alright now

1:04:09

my shit ain't that

1:04:11

small. That is true

1:04:13

though people do try

1:04:15

to like say like

1:04:18

empathize with your what

1:04:20

you're going through. Yeah.

1:04:22

And trying to say

1:04:24

something else they're going

1:04:26

through and like nah,

1:04:28

I ain't going through

1:04:30

all that nah. Alright

1:04:32

bro, you have a

1:04:34

go'er. My girl be

1:04:36

tripping, yeah, bro, my

1:04:38

girl be be bemized

1:04:40

too. Say all that,

1:04:42

right. I was a

1:04:44

Twitter week. My Twitter

1:04:46

week. What? That was

1:04:48

actually one of them.

1:04:50

That was actually one

1:04:52

of them. That's funny.

1:04:54

Everybody's like, what the

1:04:56

fuck they looking at?

1:04:58

Yeah. Yeah, that was

1:05:00

one. That's crazy. That's

1:05:02

really my grown man

1:05:04

meat. Oh, oh, oh.

1:05:07

All right. Somebody said.

1:05:10

My home boy just got

1:05:12

jumped in the club and

1:05:14

going yell Duke. Who the

1:05:16

fuck is Duke? Then he

1:05:18

went in the comments and

1:05:21

said, I'm on I-75 on

1:05:23

the way home right now.

1:05:25

Then some dude named the

1:05:27

dude that said this is

1:05:29

named SME Duke Somebody named

1:05:31

SME Dre commented said you

1:05:34

heard me call you he

1:05:36

said S&M Duke responded and

1:05:38

said, hell no, they was

1:05:40

on your ass. Finnerole one

1:05:42

up, pull up. I don't

1:05:44

like the whole club, jump.

1:05:47

It's like, let's talk about

1:05:49

it when we get to

1:05:51

the court. What the, what

1:05:53

the fuck am I gonna

1:05:55

do? Like, would you do

1:05:57

some type of ritual? We

1:06:00

both got a half day

1:06:02

now? Who gonna drive to

1:06:04

the hospital? I'm like, kick

1:06:06

you so I can blend

1:06:08

in. You're like, hey, I

1:06:10

gave you the lightest kick

1:06:12

though. You got to choose,

1:06:15

you got to choose where

1:06:17

your friends are getting jumped

1:06:19

by wisely. Oh, God, that's

1:06:21

grounds for cut. I don't

1:06:23

play that shit. Because I

1:06:25

feel like if my friend

1:06:28

is getting jumped by like,

1:06:30

just say like. A random

1:06:32

like gang, right? It's like,

1:06:34

bro, how come I never,

1:06:36

you never told me any

1:06:38

dealings you had with these

1:06:41

people? And we best friends.

1:06:43

You're talking about fuck them

1:06:45

niggies. Why the fuck we

1:06:47

here? What you mean they

1:06:49

ain't gonna run you off,

1:06:51

bro? That's like 12 niggas,

1:06:53

right? What you mean? 1B2?

1:06:56

12? Oh boy? How you

1:06:58

beeping with that many niggas?

1:07:00

This is worth a strange

1:07:02

day. Man, you see? I

1:07:04

don't think it was in

1:07:06

a fraternity, why do you

1:07:09

say that, man? No. Life

1:07:11

doesn't happen bi-weekly. So why

1:07:13

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1:07:56

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1:08:03

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Crash dummies under podcast. Are you

1:08:29

going to say it after me?

1:08:31

No, I wasn't going to repeat

1:08:34

it. Oh, then why? I was

1:08:36

going to say it now back

1:08:38

to the show, bro. My bad.

1:08:40

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diapers diapers diapers diapers diapers diapers diapers

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diapers diapers diapers diapers diapers diapers diapers

1:09:47

diapers diapers diapers diapers diapers. And I

1:09:49

call I call a car P the

1:09:52

most light skin dark skin nigga ever

1:09:54

met Brother I can I committed a

1:09:56

sin and I like you want to

1:09:59

know who my biggest influence for what

1:10:01

I did to you is Mike. What

1:10:03

is what do I have to do

1:10:06

with it? Listen usually like when somebody

1:10:08

take a with me and they're like

1:10:10

oh you can tell like when it's

1:10:13

your boy he about tossing on the

1:10:15

story he kind of gave you that

1:10:17

look like I'm about to put this

1:10:20

on the story and sometimes you got

1:10:22

to have balls enough to be like

1:10:24

hey bro shoot that again because I

1:10:26

I reacted to the flash too late

1:10:29

and he like he's trying to let

1:10:31

me know like nigga the camera oh

1:10:33

he's flashing it he's like a little

1:10:36

look bro so I turn around like

1:10:38

this like And my face was like

1:10:40

looking crazy. I'm like, I look crazy.

1:10:43

It's like the niggas, something to deem

1:10:45

me. He's like, oh. Because I was

1:10:47

trying to get my shit to get.

1:10:50

I was like, damn. You know how

1:10:52

you do something to slow motion? Be

1:10:54

like, you got a little bit too

1:10:57

slow. Now he fucked me up. He

1:10:59

took that mother fucking again though. Oh,

1:11:01

we got we got Mr. New York

1:11:04

here with us. What's going on, what's

1:11:06

going on, brother? What's going on? I

1:11:08

just accidentally tried to give New York,

1:11:10

told New York how to do a

1:11:13

sound check. A nigga. Nigga' been with

1:11:15

headphones on longer than I've been doing

1:11:17

this shit. Nigga, you might check, nigga.

1:11:20

Yeah, explain that the people's understand the

1:11:22

context of it. The might check? Yeah,

1:11:24

yeah. Boy, fuck them. No, no, no.

1:11:27

That explains my job, boy. That's not

1:11:29

my job. But you don't get that

1:11:31

bad. New York is one of the

1:11:34

biggest DJs in Milwaukee. You just said

1:11:36

that. I didn't keep these nicks about

1:11:38

no mic. That was hot. No, no,

1:11:41

definitely, definitely the, uh, my favorite DJ

1:11:43

right now. Yeah, for sure. And the

1:11:45

biggest in the area, so if anybody

1:11:48

that comes through Milwaukee, you know who

1:11:50

you gotta work with, man. Real, for

1:11:52

real. What else we have? Gonna put

1:11:55

his IG right here. Oh, my boy.

1:11:57

Oh, yeah, this Chinese lady grabbed my

1:11:59

hand on the flight. didn't know what

1:12:01

to do though. I didn't, huh? Yeah,

1:12:04

so we're, yeah, we're on the plane.

1:12:06

I had the, the ILC. No, I

1:12:08

confirmed she was Chinese. We had a

1:12:11

conversation. But I just don't have to,

1:12:13

I just don't like the beginning of

1:12:15

it. I just feel like that. There's

1:12:18

Chinese lady grab my hand? Yeah, not

1:12:20

like that. What do you mean? The

1:12:22

way you, the other part you said

1:12:25

it, because what? You was mad as

1:12:27

you grabbed your hand. No, I did

1:12:29

say I was mad. Oh, you what?

1:12:32

I just said just, just Chinese, like,

1:12:34

so it was a red eye flight

1:12:36

back to Milwaukee. Okay. And I guess

1:12:39

you were sleeping and I could feel

1:12:41

her hand start to grab like mine,

1:12:43

right? So in that moment, I didn't

1:12:45

know what to do. I like, do

1:12:48

I like pull away really fast? I

1:12:50

pull away really fast and wake her

1:12:52

up. So I just left my hand

1:12:55

there. I didn't grab back though, I

1:12:57

just kind of let her do her

1:12:59

thing. What was her thing? I don't

1:13:02

know, she just had my hand, it

1:13:04

was just cuffed. There was no like

1:13:06

fondling or anything. Did she wake up,

1:13:09

would she sleep? Yeah, she was sleeping.

1:13:11

Oh. Oh damn, she grabbed her hand.

1:13:13

Yeah, yeah, that's sweet. That's your fakest

1:13:16

part though. That's not a real story.

1:13:18

You know how you realize the shit

1:13:20

you're good? You're like, man, that was

1:13:23

touching, hold on man. Sound like a

1:13:25

movie, man. Sound like a movie, man.

1:13:27

I didn't know what to do though.

1:13:29

She just fell asleep. Yeah, she was

1:13:32

sleeping. Old lady, man. And then we

1:13:34

had a conversation when she woke up.

1:13:36

That's how I knew she was Chinese.

1:13:39

How do you say them from drawing?

1:13:41

You know what somebody telling a sentimental

1:13:43

story about? He ain't got a bigger

1:13:46

heart to me. Don't I mean, any

1:13:48

drowning situation, I can only save myself.

1:13:50

I'm not. I do not have the

1:13:53

talent to save anybody else. Not to

1:13:55

say another person from drowning. I have

1:13:57

the talent but I'm not doing it.

1:14:01

is that

1:14:04

a thing

1:14:08

though with

1:14:12

the girls

1:14:15

behind the

1:14:19

DJ booth?

1:14:23

Uh-huh. I mean, so it depends on

1:14:26

where we at. Yeah. Certain venues like

1:14:28

the 720. That is actually a, the

1:14:30

DJ booth is actually a section. Yeah.

1:14:33

So like whoever, they invite up, you

1:14:35

know, of course like guys are gonna

1:14:37

invite girls and stuff like that. And

1:14:40

girls do be doing some wild stuff.

1:14:42

Like, I mean like, they be bumping

1:14:44

me in my way because like I

1:14:46

have my little space. So like, like,

1:14:49

literally like, like, even last night when

1:14:51

the bucks were there, like, like, like,

1:14:53

literally in my own little. like a

1:14:56

little circled thing. A bunch of girls

1:14:58

is like literally pushing me and I'm

1:15:00

like, I ain't gonna lie, I push

1:15:03

one of them back. But she's like,

1:15:05

I'm not away. But you gotta know

1:15:07

when it's coming because it's like certain

1:15:10

mixes that you like, oh this hit

1:15:12

hard everywhere I go. Yeah. So you

1:15:14

gotta know like. Okay, they about to

1:15:17

start rocking behind me too. Yeah. And

1:15:19

it just looks good, like in the

1:15:21

club, like people pay attention, like everybody's

1:15:24

eyes on the DJ and people that's

1:15:26

around the DJ, I guess. Yeah. You

1:15:28

can't have five people in collar shirts

1:15:31

up there behind you. No, like one

1:15:33

time when Jordan Love came to the

1:15:35

club, Shane Gillis, the comedian, he was

1:15:37

there and he's like, literally like, so

1:15:40

out of place, his motherfucker was just

1:15:42

like, we're like, people notice and we're

1:15:44

like, it's Shane Gillis. And I'm like,

1:15:47

that was his response. He's drinking a

1:15:49

Miller light while bottles was coming out

1:15:51

here. The most awkward situation for me

1:15:54

is when the bottle girls do come

1:15:56

out. I just never know what to

1:15:58

do. Like I just like, do I

1:16:01

record this? Because I feel like recording

1:16:03

now looks kind of like. to me

1:16:05

like so so now I'm just like

1:16:08

looking awkwardly and then the hardest part

1:16:10

too is like when they were there

1:16:12

and they asked me you went to

1:16:15

the bathroom there's like what do y'all

1:16:17

want on the sign? I don't know

1:16:19

I think this would have happy birthday.

1:16:21

The sign like to me I like

1:16:24

respect people that are clever on their

1:16:26

signs like it's like a meme or

1:16:28

something like I respect that so much

1:16:31

like it almost make me want to

1:16:33

like buy them all shots. Like bro

1:16:35

don't put your first and last name

1:16:38

and then put big money. And then

1:16:40

below, it's arrow, he made them put

1:16:42

arrows on it below, $800 worth of

1:16:45

bottles. But one, with one Casamigo bottle.

1:16:47

This one guy says, he said, when

1:16:49

he's a, when he's a four, but

1:16:52

he buys Aces Bay. Yeah. And I

1:16:54

couldn't think of nothing clever on the

1:16:56

spot. So would you pay? I just

1:16:59

put tons of happy birthday on it.

1:17:01

Just happy birthday? Boy use the name

1:17:03

is fun! One

1:17:06

pet peeve of them I know,

1:17:09

like so the girls that work

1:17:11

with me, I can't stand when

1:17:13

I book a section. Some of

1:17:15

them I know, like so the

1:17:18

girls that work with me, I

1:17:20

can't stand when I book a

1:17:22

section, you know, some of them

1:17:25

just have the rest and bitch

1:17:27

face, like why they bring the

1:17:29

bottle like? Yeah. I

1:17:31

like when they not smile. I

1:17:34

don't know. Bring me that mean

1:17:36

ass bottle. Yeah, yeah, I pour

1:17:38

shots like you know the girl

1:17:40

that bought this was mean as

1:17:42

hell. It tastes better. Hell yeah,

1:17:44

I told you. Put that stink

1:17:46

on the bottle bitch as you

1:17:48

like. At least look like you

1:17:51

want to work there. Right. No,

1:17:53

I don't want you smiling. Don't

1:17:55

be like smiling, right? the fake

1:17:57

smile, then some people, some people,

1:17:59

some people do overdo a fake

1:18:01

smile too. Because it's like they

1:18:03

come out there too happy. It's

1:18:05

just like. Yeah. I just saw

1:18:07

you get bumped by five different

1:18:10

dancing groups bringing the bottles up.

1:18:12

I know you're not in a

1:18:14

bad mood. Hey, I know you're

1:18:16

not in a good mood. It's

1:18:18

okay. Let it all. So this

1:18:20

is a secret that no one's

1:18:22

ever hurt. One time I'm in

1:18:24

the club. It's packed. One of

1:18:27

the bar girls. Piss me off.

1:18:29

Piss me off. Piss me off.

1:18:31

Right? The club is pack wide

1:18:33

and I waited for them to

1:18:35

bring that bottle out and I

1:18:37

knew they had to go through

1:18:39

that crowd and I started playing

1:18:41

swag surf. Oh no, no, no.

1:18:43

Wait a minute. I got a

1:18:46

new nickname for you. We gonna

1:18:48

call you Moses. That boy created

1:18:50

a ways for somebody way through.

1:18:54

That shit probably felt like

1:18:56

a way part too right.

1:18:59

That's what I said. Sparkles

1:19:01

hit in the back of

1:19:04

her necks. Wow! I was

1:19:06

watching this like live time,

1:19:08

I'm like, got them. Oh

1:19:11

God. Oh, we never touched

1:19:13

on the Drake and Kendrick

1:19:16

beef. Oh, come on, bro.

1:19:18

How was that a pause

1:19:21

moment? Come on, man.

1:19:23

Your brain isn't a gutter, bro. We

1:19:25

never talked about the beef, though. Yeah,

1:19:27

but you always talk about some touchdown,

1:19:29

like, what is that? Like, touched on

1:19:32

the subject. Yeah, I get it. But

1:19:34

touched on drinking Kendrick. On the beef.

1:19:37

I got any clout, anything going on

1:19:39

when I tell you, let me give

1:19:41

you some advice. No, no, no, I

1:19:43

got the OBO. I went to the

1:19:46

OBO store. Exactly, I'm bridging the gap.

1:19:48

I bridging the gap, man. Anybody that

1:19:50

I got, any clout, anything going on

1:19:52

when I tell you, let me give

1:19:55

you some advice. neutral. Please stay neutral.

1:19:57

Like if you I understand if you

1:19:59

work at nine or five and you

1:20:01

like a Marketing manager like yeah, you

1:20:03

love Drake. Yeah, you can say fuck

1:20:06

Kendrick all over internet But if you

1:20:08

got some motions on all right now,

1:20:10

and stay neutral. Just stay right there

1:20:12

Nobody making you big, bro. But some

1:20:15

people, but some people, I feel like

1:20:17

some people are picking size like their

1:20:19

life depends on it right now. And

1:20:21

it's like, really know all of them.

1:20:23

Yeah. And then I'm talking about real

1:20:26

life arguments. People are arguing at the

1:20:28

dinner table about this Drake versus Kendrick

1:20:30

beef. And it's like, bro, there's so

1:20:32

much real shit going on this girl.

1:20:34

That's me, if I argue with you

1:20:37

about like a celebrity, and you take

1:20:39

it too far, like, you start getting

1:20:41

too passionate, I'm gonna just stop arguing,

1:20:43

I'm just like, yo, get off this

1:20:46

day. Like, it's fucking veins popping up

1:20:48

your head. Like, LeBron don't know you,

1:20:50

though. What the fuck? I did like

1:20:52

the album that came out. I liked

1:20:54

like three songs on the, three or

1:20:57

four on the song. What did you

1:20:59

think? Three or four? Yeah. I really

1:21:01

like like reincarnated. I like the whacked

1:21:03

out murals. I like the TV off.

1:21:06

I thought you were even in neutral.

1:21:08

I'm just saying the songs I liked

1:21:10

on the album. Nah, you ain't let's

1:21:12

tell the album. What? I got you,

1:21:14

bro. What other songs do you like?

1:21:17

I like all of them. I like

1:21:19

all the song, but I like like

1:21:21

three or four really a lot. Oh,

1:21:23

you're saying, okay. I go back to

1:21:26

and listen. Okay, what is it? A

1:21:28

reincarnated, whacked out murals. Okay. The TV

1:21:30

off. Okay. And I like, I forgot

1:21:32

the name of the song. I think

1:21:34

it was Peekable. I like, Peekable. Tough.

1:21:37

Tough. Hey now. I love Luther. I

1:21:39

love Dodger blue. I love you like

1:21:41

you like Dodger blue man I feel

1:21:43

like that one grew on me I

1:21:45

feel like that one has to grow

1:21:48

on me because I feel like some

1:21:50

songs you have to hear in different

1:21:52

settings Dodger blue is beautiful man if

1:21:54

you ever like in you're just cruising

1:21:57

in Cali, bro. Type shit. If Dodger

1:21:59

Blue will get you there, man, you

1:22:01

gonna get in an accident, but you're

1:22:03

gonna feel good. Don't get out like,

1:22:05

bro, I don't even matter, bro. You

1:22:08

hear that, Roddy? Do you think Kendrick's

1:22:10

gonna perform any of these songs at

1:22:12

the Super Bowl? Yes. Which one do

1:22:14

you think he would perform? TV off.

1:22:17

TV off would go crazy at the

1:22:19

Super Bowl. Yeah and um I was

1:22:21

drunk as fuck last night the squabble

1:22:23

up yeah he got he has to

1:22:25

play squabble he has to play squabble

1:22:28

up kind of to like it's like

1:22:30

every story I don't think he only

1:22:32

could play one song off this album

1:22:34

no it's he has to play squabble

1:22:36

with all the hits he has he

1:22:39

has he has he has he has

1:22:41

he has he has he has 12

1:22:43

minutes I know he has one song

1:22:45

about Kendrick that I'm like leaning towards

1:22:48

obviously I heard a thousand people say

1:22:50

it's my initiali like through the beef

1:22:52

is to push the West Coast sound

1:22:54

because then it makes like like our

1:22:56

Bodi like I got 12 songs downloaded

1:22:59

by Bodi 6 never knew who he

1:23:01

was like and it's like pushing me

1:23:03

to other West Coast artists that like

1:23:05

rap like that like that sound is

1:23:08

going to be put so I think

1:23:10

it's going to any song that has

1:23:12

any traction of that West Coast sound

1:23:14

where it's just like you know it's

1:23:16

West Coast is getting played. But yeah

1:23:19

think about it too we're talking about

1:23:21

the Super Bowl so crowd reaction is

1:23:23

gonna be a big thing so he

1:23:25

gonna play like humble yeah yeah he

1:23:27

gonna play humble he's gonna play humble

1:23:30

he's only like us I think a

1:23:32

part of not like us is gonna

1:23:34

be played yeah He's going to do

1:23:36

metalies and yeah metalies and stuff like

1:23:39

that kind of like what he did

1:23:41

with the they didn't perform at once

1:23:43

in a year Yeah the California one

1:23:45

probably gonna make a whole new song

1:23:47

off the melodies I could see him

1:23:50

doing some stuff like that people are

1:23:52

saying that he might drop an album

1:23:54

before the Super Bowl to so he

1:23:56

might perform something off the new album.

1:23:59

So he might perform something to like

1:24:01

slander him he's like, nah, like, I

1:24:03

already got it. Yeah. I got your

1:24:05

funeral here. Like, yeah. That's, I don't

1:24:07

know, like, he's a Gemini, so like,

1:24:10

you don't know how. It's gonna be

1:24:12

interesting though, because like, obviously, Nadrich is

1:24:14

going through the legal battle with like

1:24:16

the UMG stuff. And to be honest,

1:24:18

some of the points he has does

1:24:21

make a, he does have a point.

1:24:23

But I do think it is kind

1:24:25

of like the perception of like it

1:24:27

seeming like he's suing Kendrick because of

1:24:30

because of that thing. It's just like

1:24:32

the timing is just wrong. It's just

1:24:34

bad. It's just bad timing type of

1:24:36

thing. Well I will say not trying

1:24:38

to stick up for anybody. You don't

1:24:41

when it may when then when the

1:24:43

news says you sue somebody. Yeah. That's

1:24:45

not the day that you said you're

1:24:47

gonna sue somebody. Yeah. That wasn't the

1:24:50

day. Like you know how long it

1:24:52

takes to prepare to sue someone of

1:24:54

that magnitude. Like they didn't have to

1:24:56

be working on that stuff like the

1:24:58

last year. Yeah. Well since the song

1:25:01

came out. Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, yeah.

1:25:03

Well, yeah. Yeah. Maybe before that. I

1:25:05

feel like they were going through like

1:25:07

contract talks before because he signed to

1:25:10

Universal. That's probably how he looked at

1:25:12

it the whole time. I'm like, oh

1:25:14

y'all sent him, this was y'all sent,

1:25:16

because he do mention that a couple

1:25:18

times, like, when he said something about

1:25:21

future, like, I don't know how they

1:25:23

roped you into it, and they all

1:25:25

had a plan, like type shit, like.

1:25:27

It's like a weird battle going on.

1:25:29

I feel like there's five different battles

1:25:32

going on. It's like Drake versus Kendrick,

1:25:34

Jake. Like Meek, just get on camera

1:25:36

and just drop some shit like Meek,

1:25:38

just get on camera and just drop

1:25:41

some shit like Yeah this was really

1:25:43

going on everybody like oh shit like

1:25:45

it's always been me like the chosen

1:25:47

one and me become the greatest the

1:25:49

most random one be like like little

1:25:52

dickey is like the chosen I don't

1:25:54

know everybody getting mad at Jack Harlow

1:25:56

right now oh why because they said

1:25:58

that he's doing the same Post Malone

1:26:01

did well allegedly did like what they

1:26:03

say and he did they try to

1:26:05

say like because they seen Jack Harlow

1:26:07

do like a cover Elvis song or

1:26:09

he just did that Elvis song oh

1:26:12

you did and then everybody's like oh

1:26:14

you use hip-hop to rise up yeah

1:26:16

you leave and that's like people I

1:26:19

feel like there are some there are

1:26:21

some artists that do it in my

1:26:24

opinion. I don't want to say her

1:26:26

name I want to diss her but

1:26:28

Miley Cyrus I feel like she left

1:26:31

us. Where you go? Nah she was

1:26:33

she was with the countryside and then

1:26:35

she did the the Michael made this

1:26:38

song. That's the both world. Yeah that's

1:26:40

always fire though. So it was fire

1:26:42

in the cut. He didn't know he

1:26:45

did the whole album. Yeah, Michael made

1:26:47

it at the whole album. Jay is

1:26:49

on my feet. Yeah, my leave is

1:26:51

broken. She'll be back. No, relying on

1:26:54

my, my, the same hip-hop is crazy.

1:26:56

No, no, no, but not rely, but

1:26:58

I'm just saying like people using it

1:27:01

to, yeah. to get up because I

1:27:03

feel like that's the quickest rise almost

1:27:05

in every other genre you got to

1:27:08

kind of put in some work you

1:27:10

could die off real quick in other

1:27:12

genres because there's like a new pop

1:27:15

song like every day yeah but in

1:27:17

like the rap game is like people

1:27:19

like wait they're like okay can't nobody

1:27:22

rise up why this person was rising

1:27:24

up yeah Like when Glorilla rolls up,

1:27:26

like there wasn't like a lot of

1:27:29

people that they wait and then the

1:27:31

next person is like not at the

1:27:33

same time. I love Lo, I love

1:27:36

Lo. Yeah, she's nice. She's fine. Actually,

1:27:38

like really rat. Okay. Yeah, oh, we're

1:27:40

talking about her rat. Yeah. Oh, we

1:27:43

talking about her. I got the flight

1:27:45

already. I'm already there. You ain't gotta,

1:27:47

ain't nothing like he's fine and hell

1:27:50

I'm already, I mean I just did

1:27:52

go. On a Friday, I was a

1:27:54

fuck. I'd be a foot looking for

1:27:57

you. saw obviously Kaisanat's last day of

1:27:59

streaming was yesterday and did the 30-day

1:28:01

mafia on like the being live for.

1:28:04

Yeah, that's a crazy thing to do

1:28:06

and that is a lot of dedication

1:28:08

because I think he's one of the

1:28:11

only influencers and one of the only

1:28:13

streamers that keep it like interesting throughout

1:28:15

there's always some type of activity and

1:28:18

it's kind of a big look especially

1:28:20

for him and especially for the industry

1:28:22

for being like. a black streamer. I

1:28:25

know that I won't make everything about

1:28:27

race, but there's never been, I don't

1:28:29

know too many, like black streamers or

1:28:32

black influence that they can, that are

1:28:34

mainstream. There are those, we had those

1:28:36

like big ones where like, if you

1:28:39

know, you know, like when we have,

1:28:41

I even got some of their names

1:28:43

growing up on the YouTube, the one

1:28:46

that did the Mario Luigi thing, like

1:28:48

spoken reasons or something like that, like

1:28:50

those guys are big, but they were

1:28:53

like, like, They're like, oh, we knew,

1:28:55

but they were never mainstream. It was

1:28:57

just like they were like, we had

1:29:00

like the cult audience, but like, Kai's

1:29:02

like, main, mainstream and doing it his

1:29:04

own way and. It's been staying out

1:29:07

of trouble for the most part, I

1:29:09

guess being true to himself and stuff

1:29:11

like that. And I think that's like,

1:29:14

it should be like commended for sure.

1:29:16

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I didn't realize

1:29:18

like, when I was looking through it,

1:29:21

I was like, damn, kind of go.

1:29:23

Yeah. It's like, it's weird because he's

1:29:25

so young and you feel like you

1:29:28

watched it from the beginning, but like,

1:29:30

at this point, like, who's he's chasing,

1:29:32

like, like, who's like, Now when he's

1:29:35

swimming it's like who can be him

1:29:37

no matter how many silver medals he

1:29:39

get and I think always got this

1:29:42

like he'd a goat like forever he

1:29:44

gonna man and he up the like

1:29:46

the levels the bit like the bar

1:29:49

for like those times things yeah like

1:29:51

like he broke the record like crust

1:29:53

record 700 something subscribers is so crazy

1:29:56

bro what I liked about it through

1:29:58

the process he found great creators yeah

1:30:00

gave them a shout out knowing that

1:30:03

it was up there and in the

1:30:05

same he made those creators that be

1:30:07

driving around and BMWs and shit and

1:30:10

getting in fake ass fights and shit

1:30:12

he made they content look fucking terrible

1:30:14

yeah they should look ass now and

1:30:17

I think too he brought like the

1:30:19

youthfulness and other people Yeah, as well.

1:30:21

Like seeing Kiree, even just seeing Kiree

1:30:24

like half fun and like damn, it's

1:30:26

just like that's, that's dope. You just

1:30:28

don't see those side of people all

1:30:31

the time. And I think it shows

1:30:33

a different like youthful side. And obviously

1:30:35

when Kevin Hart and, and Juske got

1:30:38

on there, it's always like a thing.

1:30:40

They're so funny. Yeah. I get it,

1:30:42

but it's also, I'm not going to

1:30:45

lie in the moment, that shit was

1:30:47

funny. So one point I want to

1:30:49

make about the Sinat stream, I wonder

1:30:52

how many like different type of people

1:30:54

he had on there. Like he had

1:30:56

every demographic. Yeah, like white dudes, black

1:30:59

dudes, kids, virtual reality people. virtual reality

1:31:01

gamers like he had Franklin on there

1:31:03

yeah obviously had glow jabbal walkies on

1:31:06

there yeah everybody on there but Travis

1:31:08

Hunter on there oh by Carly Miranda

1:31:10

Cosgro yeah yeah but what I'm realizing

1:31:13

on Twitter like I didn't the reason

1:31:15

I'm calling him a goat because it

1:31:17

kind of get to like the like

1:31:20

LeBron Colby Jordan's like people are making

1:31:22

tweets out of nowhere about something negative.

1:31:24

It's not a quoted tweet. It's not

1:31:27

nothing. And there's thousand tweets like kites

1:31:29

and that stream is for little kids.

1:31:31

Kites and that stream is for blah

1:31:34

blah. Kites and that stream, this, that.

1:31:36

And I'm like, damn, he got it

1:31:38

like that. Yeah. And some people don't

1:31:41

understand Juski's humor. They're like, why is

1:31:43

Juski always so mad? Like, I don't

1:31:45

know what to tell you, I said

1:31:48

or not real, bro. You think he's

1:31:50

that mad all the time? He's also

1:31:52

playing into it a lot. People don't

1:31:55

realize that. That's how I feel about

1:31:57

Russell Westberg. met him one time and

1:31:59

I thought he I was like man

1:32:02

this man coming to be a dick.

1:32:04

Yeah, like he looks like a dick

1:32:06

on the court. Literally like not If

1:32:09

you actually meet him like he's actually

1:32:11

the most genuine nicest dude. Yeah, swear

1:32:13

to God like that's my favorite player.

1:32:16

Russ. Yeah, Russ is super cool. Man,

1:32:18

I mean, I didn't, you know, because

1:32:20

it's tough to see your favorite player.

1:32:23

This is what a lot of fans

1:32:25

don't get. It's tough to see your

1:32:27

favorite player lose a step. So it's

1:32:30

like, it hurts to watch them. Like

1:32:32

when you go back and you see

1:32:34

they had a good game, like a

1:32:37

vintage game, you like hurry up and

1:32:39

run the YouTube and you watch that

1:32:41

shouldn't. Like when Russ get a triple

1:32:44

double, I go hurry up and watch

1:32:46

the YouTube and you can't watch your

1:32:48

favorite. He lost a step, I'm like,

1:32:51

oh, the old king with a slander.

1:32:53

It's like, oh, it hurt, man. It

1:32:55

hurt, but like, also, just going back

1:32:58

to a plane, like, people just don't,

1:33:00

a lot of people don't understand humor.

1:33:02

Yeah. Like, sometimes we'll put out a

1:33:04

clip, and they're just like, it's obvious,

1:33:07

like. the dude is joking about himself,

1:33:09

like the dude, the dad one. Yeah.

1:33:11

He came on a comedy show, dude,

1:33:14

been watching our show forever, and he

1:33:16

joked about his dad not being there,

1:33:18

like, he wanted to joke about it.

1:33:21

People on there, like, y'all should never

1:33:23

do a man like that, like, shut

1:33:25

the fuck. Yeah, it was interesting how

1:33:28

he kept it interesting, though. And then

1:33:30

the person's, the kid's mom was getting

1:33:32

on. on Twitter and saying how Druskey

1:33:35

abused physically and verbally abused him. Yeah.

1:33:37

And one other extremeer was saying, is

1:33:39

your fault? A gorilla, a similar bad

1:33:42

gorilla? What did Drussey call him? The

1:33:44

little fat nigger. They keep feeding us

1:33:46

fat ass. no, no, no, no, no,

1:33:49

no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

1:33:51

no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

1:33:53

no, no, he's not supposed to. No,

1:33:56

I would like that, I would like

1:33:58

that, I would like that. No, no,

1:34:00

no, I take that back. I think

1:34:03

I said about you. Just in case

1:34:05

you ever hear this, that's bogus, ma'am.

1:34:07

But why his mom calling? First of

1:34:10

all, I don't know if the mom

1:34:12

is white or not, but she said

1:34:14

he was calling him a fat-ass little

1:34:17

niggles, like she said the full word,

1:34:19

and then she was like, but he's

1:34:21

a silverback gorilla. He was like, well,

1:34:24

what the fuck? Somebody literally came on

1:34:26

her and said, all she had to

1:34:28

do is not say those two words,

1:34:31

and she might have got some money.

1:34:33

She blew the bag in 15 seconds.

1:34:35

She said, hmm, how can I describe

1:34:38

it? African American. Gotta get my point

1:34:40

across. And as she was talking, the

1:34:42

kid was like, oh, and mom, they

1:34:45

also broke a law. It's like some

1:34:47

child labor laws or something like that.

1:34:49

But it is kind of a thing,

1:34:52

though, when especially the type of streams

1:34:54

he does, and it's like those people

1:34:56

that get hired to do those type