1:06

Never say my finances are messed . So

1:09

much power comes

1:11

from how we speak about things , so

1:14

much power . And what we

1:16

don't always recognize is that our

1:18

ears are the first to hear the words

1:21

that come from our mouth . But we can use this to

1:23

our advantage . And so if

1:25

we know in our brain and our body that our

1:27

money is just not where we want it to be , that

1:30

things are not going the way we thought they

1:32

would , that we want it to be different

1:34

or better or easier or smoother

1:36

, then start talking like that I'm getting

1:38

better with money . Every day . I'm figuring

1:41

it out , I'm learning , I'm reading

1:43

, I'm trying new things . It's

1:45

going to be better soon .

1:47

Today's guest is Dr Darla Bishop

1:50

. She is an author of

1:52

how to Afford Everything

1:54

and the founder of Financis

1:57

LLC . A speaker and author

1:59

. The number of hats is due to

2:02

the part of

2:15

her roles as a spouse to

2:18

an active duty service

2:20

member . Welcome .

2:22

Darla , thank you so much for having me . I'm so

2:24

happy to be with you this morning . Well

2:26

morning for me . I think it's afternoon for you , absolutely

2:29

.

2:30

Yeah , I'm really excited . I'm excited

2:32

to learn a few things for myself . Hey , so

2:35

, after I've read that , what is one

2:37

of the most courageous things that you

2:39

have ?

2:39

done . Oh , there's so many , and I'm so glad

2:42

you sent me this question ahead because I've been thinking

2:44

about it for a few days and

2:46

you know what it comes down to

2:48

it's . I decided I wanted something

2:50

different and then I went after it . And

2:52

there have been many times in my life where

2:55

that first decision

2:57

changed everything . Living

3:13

with her sister , I was a teenager , my siblings were a bit younger , and I remember thinking

3:15

this will not change my life in the way

3:17

that people expect it will . I

3:19

will still go to college , I

3:22

will still be a doctor . At that

3:24

time I thought I'd be a medical doctor , but

3:26

it all worked out and

3:28

I'm still going to have a beautiful life . And

3:31

that decision in that moment

3:33

, one of the darkest moments of my life , changed

3:36

everything .

3:37

So , wow , how courageous is that . I

3:39

love the fact that you're not

3:41

going to allow that to define your

3:43

circumstances , your situation . I

3:46

absolutely love that . There's definitely

3:48

strength in that .

3:49

And I don't know if I was allowed to or if I just

3:51

knew that that could not be the end

3:53

of my story .

3:55

Yeah , absolutely so

3:57

. Tell me what took you on your journey

3:59

of being the founder of Finances

4:02

. I love the name .

4:04

Oh , thank you . Well , part of it is one

4:06

of the most important roles I've had for a very long

4:08

time is sister , usually big

4:11

sister , sometimes little sister . And

4:13

when I was putting all of the work

4:16

together to write my book

4:18

and I was like , well , I need a social media handle

4:20

. What will work ? So we looked

4:22

at me and one of my very good friends . We

4:24

said , well , what about money , mama , because

4:27

he jokingly calls me his money mama ? I'm like , well , I'm not

4:29

old enough to be everybody's mom . And

4:31

I was like , but I am like the right age to

4:33

be almost anybody's sister , right

4:35

? So what can we do with sister ? And

4:37

I was like , what about financial sister ? And he was like

4:39

that's too long . And I was like you're right , that is

4:41

too long . I was like I got it . Finance

4:44

sis Sounds

4:54

, but I'm the sister . And what took me on the journey is along the way . I told you

4:56

about that moment sitting on my aunt's bed when I decided this wasn't

4:58

going to change my plans for my life of

5:01

going away to an amazing college and

5:03

finding , at that time , the man

5:05

of my dreams and getting married

5:08

and having a fantastic career and moving

5:10

to a big city and living in a great

5:12

, too small apartment . When

5:16

I went away to that college

5:18

, I met so

5:20

many classmates whose parents

5:22

were much better off

5:25

financially , and so they had

5:27

a completely different relationship with

5:29

money and how they spent money and how they talked

5:31

about money , and even the concept

5:33

of being a broke college student meant something completely

5:35

different to them than it did to me , someone

5:38

who was barely at that university

5:40

, not because I wasn't smart enough because , frankly , I was probably

5:42

smarter than many of my classmates

5:44

because I had to figure out how to get there despite my life

5:46

circumstances , and they just had to

5:48

get there . But because

5:51

of the money differences , right

5:53

, and I was like , okay , if I can figure out

5:55

the money , oh , I will be dangerous

5:58

. I will be dangerous in this

6:00

world Because I figured out how to get here with these classmates

6:02

who have Range Rovers and

6:04

whose parents are writing checks for tuition

6:07

. And I had a lovely roommate

6:09

my first year whose parents

6:11

were so sweet and generous to

6:14

me . I remember when we were moving in they

6:16

said well , darla , we noticed you didn't bring much

6:18

with you . And I said , oh , no , no , it's because I live close

6:21

by , I didn't need a lot . My

6:23

family's just not even one hour away . And they said

6:25

no , come to the store with us

6:27

, come to the market , we'll buy you a few

6:29

things . Don't be shy , we won't be back

6:31

for a while to check on you . We don't want to worry for

6:34

you , and

6:36

that type of generosity

6:39

. And

6:43

I was like I want to do that , I want to be generous , I want to have the money

6:46

to take care of some random girl who's living with my child . And so I was like , okay

6:48

, you know what , I know what to do . I

6:50

might not know about money yet , but

6:52

I know how to study . I'm super good

6:54

at learning . I'm an A student , quite literally

6:57

. So I started reading books

6:59

about money and after

7:01

30 , I felt really good about

7:04

understanding what money is and wasn't

7:06

and how to use it . Around 50

7:08

, people started asking me questions because they're like

7:10

we noticed you have money and we'd like to have some

7:12

too . Could you help me with my budget

7:15

? Or could you help me ? I just got a new job . What do I

7:17

need to know about the money

7:19

that this new job is bringing into my life ? Or

7:22

later , once I got to around book

7:24

75 , I was like I could have written this

7:26

book and I just kind of kept saying that

7:28

. And my husband , the dear

7:30

heart he is , one day said well , you

7:32

finally finished school , and that was a journey

7:35

in itself . Maybe you have space

7:37

now to finish your book that

7:39

you started , because I'd started my personal finance

7:41

book a few times before

7:43

. He said what would it take , could you finish it ? And I said , well

7:45

, I think I need an editor . And

7:48

so he said , well , go get an editor . I said , I think

7:50

I need a marketing budget . He said , well , let's make a marketing

7:52

budget . And so here

7:54

we are , almost a year after publishing

7:57

the book , and it has been a

7:59

joy ride . A joy ride

8:01

.

8:01

Yeah , I'm going to ask you all about your book in a little

8:03

while . I want to know more . But

8:06

I've got so many questions , but

8:08

the first one I think I'd

8:10

like to ask you is how can anyone

8:13

master their budget ? We're talking

8:15

about budgets . Everyone has a budget , whether

8:17

they realize it or not , because some people don't realize

8:20

it . So can you slightly unpack that

8:22

or can you go into depth about that

8:24

?

8:24

Yes , so the very first thing to do

8:26

is something you said was so

8:29

powerful . Some people don't think they have a budget

8:31

, but you do . A budget is simply

8:33

an accounting , an accounting

8:35

of where the money has come from and

8:38

where it has gone to , and

8:40

so if you've never gone through the exercise

8:42

of sitting down to write it or

8:45

to take the report especially now in

8:47

this day and age , it's so easy to get a report from

8:49

your app or from your online bank account

8:51

or from your credit card company

8:54

If you've never sat down to stop

8:57

and take an account , it's

8:59

easy to do and that's really . The first step

9:01

is where is the money

9:03

coming from and where is it going to

9:05

, and when someone

9:07

is feeling like their money

9:10

should be doing different things for

9:12

them , or that they should have

9:14

more or it could

9:16

be different , that the

9:18

first thing I tell them to do is to

9:20

look at the last three months . What

9:22

happened in the last three months ? Where

9:25

did your money go ? What sources

9:27

did you get money from ? Was

9:29

there anything out of the ordinary that happened

9:31

? Was there something unexpected

9:34

? Did you think something was going to go

9:36

one way , but it went a different

9:38

way ? And I encourage them to do this

9:40

in a way that is not at all judgmental

9:43

, that really , this isn't about

9:45

judging yourself or saying I should

9:47

have no , we don't should on ourself

9:49

. That doesn't even sound friendly or

9:51

hygienic , right . But

9:54

to get really , really curious

9:57

, right . To kind of put on your

9:59

investigative hat , that

10:01

you're just being curious . Hmm , what

10:03

will I learn by looking at the last three months

10:05

of how the money flowed

10:07

in and out of my wallet

10:10

? And you might learn a few things

10:12

. You might learn oh , that's

10:14

right , I'm in a group of friends that loves to go to

10:16

dinner when it's someone's birthday , so maybe I should

10:18

pay attention to when everyone's birthday is , so I have money

10:20

for that . Or you might recognize

10:22

that , oh , someone in my life is having a baby

10:25

soon and I know that I'm going to want to spoil

10:27

that little baby . I'm going to want to

10:29

give them gifts and spend time and

10:31

want to spoil that little

10:33

baby . You're going to want to give them gifts and spend time and spoil the parents

10:35

, and so make a plan for that . You might figure out that the job you're working

10:37

, that you like some , but

10:40

not all that much isn't

10:42

bringing enough money in for

10:44

you to live an easy

10:46

existence , to bring ease into your

10:48

life , and so by learning

10:51

those things , now that you know , you

10:53

can do something about it .

10:56

Absolutely . I think that's the

10:58

thing I mean . I

11:00

suppose more people do this day and age

11:02

take stock of their actual

11:04

incomings and outgoings , and

11:07

it is as simple as that . And

11:09

if you do know you've got something

11:11

big coming up , then this is

11:13

where set aside some money . That's

11:16

my understanding and it's always worked for

11:18

me . But there's so much

11:20

more to all of

11:23

this

11:26

. People do struggle with debit

11:28

, and that could be

11:30

anything . How can one

11:32

you know that could be including student

11:34

loans . What's the best way to tackle that

11:37

and , frankly , get out of

11:39

it ?

11:39

So the first thing is to

11:42

figure out your style

11:44

of spending right and

11:46

what will help keep you motivated . And

11:48

so there are two ways . There's

11:52

really only two ways to fix your budget and there's only two ways to get out of debt

11:54

right . So let's talk about the debt first . And

11:57

so the two ways are you

11:59

either take everything you owe and

12:02

you write it down on a slip of paper , or put

12:04

it in a computer program and

12:06

you organize it in order from interest

12:09

rate , highest to

12:11

lowest , and that is typically

12:13

called the avalanche method , where

12:15

you're working to pay the highest

12:18

cost debt first

12:20

and then you slowly

12:22

work your way down to the lowest cost debt so that you can

12:24

do this in the most efficient

12:27

way . But humans are not efficient

12:29

. We are not . We are not built to be

12:31

efficient . We are not robots . Despite how

12:33

many times the computer asks you if you're a robot

12:35

, you have not yet turned into a robot . So no , you

12:38

are not a robot . So I , 100%

12:40

of the time , 100% of the time , without fail , recommend

12:43

the other way , which is called the snowball

12:46

method , and this is where you take all

12:48

of the things you owe and you still write

12:50

them down , or you put them in that spreadsheet

12:52

or computer program , but you put them in

12:54

order of amount from

12:56

smallest to largest . Don't

12:59

worry anything about the interest rate it's

13:02

important , we need to know what it is . But

13:04

we're focused on smallest to largest . Because

13:06

what that does is say and I want

13:08

you to put everything on it If you owe your mom or

13:11

your cousin $20 , I want you to write that

13:13

down . If you borrowed

13:15

a hundred bucks from someone , I want you to write

13:17

that down , because what happens

13:20

is first you'll get to knock

13:22

off that $20 and then

13:24

you'll get to knock off the

13:26

100 . And then maybe the next

13:28

one is bigger , maybe it's a few

13:30

thousand , but because you've gotten a few

13:32

wins very quickly , you've started these

13:34

places and you get

13:36

creative about

13:57

ways to find a little more room in the budget

13:59

to take care of it . Because you also

14:01

notice that if I can get

14:04

rid of owing these people , all

14:06

of this money that I'm sending away right now comes

14:08

right back to me . Then we can have fun with

14:10

it today instead of sending it away

14:12

. And the other piece that I think isn't

14:15

always stated out loud which actually

14:17

frustrated me as I was reading other

14:19

books is there are things

14:21

that happen in our world that contribute

14:24

to the reasons we have debt

14:27

, why we owe people money , and

14:29

one of the main things that we sometimes forget to look

14:31

at is we may be working a job that just

14:34

does not pay enough for

14:36

what our needs are today . Maybe when

14:38

we were first leaving school or

14:40

when we were first starting our career , that

14:43

job was fantastic . We

14:45

were so happy with it , the pay was great

14:47

, the coworkers were great , the location

14:50

was great . But , as life

14:52

goes on , many parts of our lives change , as

14:54

they should , right , that's what life is all about

14:56

, and so maybe your needs

14:58

have changed , and so it might be time to either

15:01

figure out if you can get an increase which isn't

15:03

always possible where you are and

15:06

if not , then you need to find

15:08

the next place that can give

15:11

you enough income so that

15:13

the outgoings are smaller than the

15:15

income .

15:17

I love that , so you'd

15:19

slightly touched on this . Not enough

15:22

, though , but tell me

15:24

, if possible , how

15:26

does the mindset all come into this ? Because

15:28

I know some people just love spending

15:31

, spending , spending and beyond

15:33

their own budget .

15:35

And spending can be fun . Look , as

15:37

someone who has had periods of time

15:39

in my life where we just didn't

15:42

have anything , just didn't

15:44

have anything . And getting

15:46

to a place where I had something , there

15:49

is this joy , there is this

15:51

happiness , there is this , oh , finally

15:53

, this relief almost , of

15:55

being able to go get things , even if they're a little

15:58

bit further than what your

16:00

budget says you should be doing , than what your

16:02

incoming say you should be doing . Right

16:04

, there is something that

16:07

happens in your body when you've been without

16:09

for any amount of time , so where one you're just any amount of

16:11

time , so we're one , you're just sick of being without . So you're

16:13

like no , you know what , today I'm going to have

16:15

that thing , or this month

16:17

we are going to do this and

16:21

and If that's where you are

16:23

, recognize what are the things that you really

16:25

are craving , that you feel like you haven't

16:27

had , and prioritize them . Prioritize

16:30

them Simply put them at the top of the list

16:32

right after your needs

16:34

are met . Right , make sure that you have a

16:36

place to live , hopefully that's safe and cozy

16:38

and warm . Make

16:41

sure you have some foods to eat , you

16:47

know , preferably if you could add some healthy options in there . That's good for your body , because

16:49

then you can live longer to enjoy all the great things that life has to offer . And

16:51

then , right after those needs are met

16:53

, put in some of the things that bring you joy

16:56

and happiness , but part of it . You have

16:58

to sit with yourself and figure out well , what is it that I actually

17:00

want ? I was talking with another

17:03

podcast host and he jokingly

17:05

said okay , so how do I convince

17:07

my wife to let me buy a boat ? And

17:09

I said , oh , you're going to love my answer . I

17:12

said tell me a little bit more about why you

17:14

want the boat . Do you want

17:16

the boat because that's how

17:18

you feel your best

17:20

on the water fishing relaxed

17:23

, fishing

17:27

, relaxed . Do you want the boat Because that's when you know all of your family members actually

17:29

come together . They will make the trip to be on the boat together

17:31

. Is it that you want the boat because

17:34

you just really need , you have that need

17:36

for speed ? What is the reason

17:38

behind the boat ? The boat is one physical

17:41

thing , but there's something about it that you want

17:43

. And he was like yeah , I think it's the

17:45

family time . You know , my parents are getting older

17:47

, my siblings , we

17:49

don't live in the same towns anymore . All

17:52

the kids are starting to be all grown up and

17:54

are starting their own families . And

17:56

I think if we had a boat , people would

17:58

come up and we'd have family

18:00

time . And I said , okay , well

18:02

, maybe you don't need the boat for that , maybe what you're really after

18:05

is family time . So

18:10

you take the trip to see each of your siblings this year , or you plan a family party and

18:12

tell everyone that , hey , I'm your brother and I'm pulling I'm your brother card

18:14

and you come to this party , or else I'm going to

18:17

be mad with you and then see if you still want the boat

18:19

and if you

18:36

still want the boat and you have the dollars for

18:39

it .

18:39

Go get it . Yeah , absolutely , yeah , absolutely . Do

18:41

you really need it ? No , you don't

18:43

. It's something else . How many times

18:46

do we want something and actually there's an

18:48

underlying need under

18:50

it , and it can be as simple as spending

18:52

time with your family . It doesn't need to cost

18:55

a lot to get together with your family

18:57

, and

19:02

I think there is this whole . You know , if I do a big gesture , everybody will come and you know

19:04

, at least we'll get to see each other . Yeah , I absolutely

19:07

love that answer . Brilliant , thank you

19:09

.

19:10

I hope someone uses the idea . And if

19:12

the boat really is the answer , remember that you

19:14

don't have to buy the boat . You can rent boats

19:17

pretty easily and so maybe

19:19

rent the boat that comes at a much lower cost

19:21

. I have a cousin who's been doing well financially

19:23

for the last few years , after several years of

19:26

not doing well , and he told me . He said , darla

19:28

, I want to buy a car , I want to buy a big truck

19:30

, you know one of those big , loud trucks , but he

19:32

lives in the city . He doesn't need a big truck . That

19:34

you would need as a farmer . And I said

19:36

well , why do you want a big truck ? He said because you know I work so hard

19:39

and I deserve it . This

19:46

is how I'll show myself that all my work has paid off . I said , okay , but when it sits in the parking

19:48

lot of your job for 50 hours a week because I know you work at least 50

19:50

hours a week and then on the weekends

19:52

, when you don't let the kids get in it because it's your new

19:54

truck and you're driving the car that you drive right

19:56

now to take them to their activities and their

19:59

sports , are you going to be feeling

20:01

good about paying that really high insurance

20:03

and possibly that high car payment . I

20:06

said if you want to go get a truck , I want you to

20:08

go rent the biggest , loudest

20:11

truck you can go find . Go to

20:13

the rural rental car company and

20:15

get the biggest farm truck you can find . I want you

20:17

to drive it as far as you want for

20:19

three . Take a three day weekend . Don't

20:22

even clean the car at the end , get it

20:24

muddy , leave your wrappers

20:26

, leave your water bottles , park

20:29

it , pay them their money and walk away . I

20:31

said that'll probably scratch the itch long enough so

20:34

that you can keep that money in your bank account . Keep

20:36

the money in your bank account . You don't need the big truck . I

20:39

love that .

20:40

Absolutely love it , and it

20:42

is . Sometimes it's the thrill of things , and

20:45

it is sometimes it's the thrill of things , yeah , so get the thrill .

20:46

Without the long term payment , you can rent

20:49

almost anything .

20:49

You can rent big houses , you can rent

20:51

fancy cars , you

21:04

can go to the nicest restaurants and have a fantastic

21:06

several hour experience and pay for it one time instead of every month

21:08

, over and over again . Yeah , fantastic

21:10

, right , we're going to talk about investment now . Um , if someone wanted to invest , how

21:12

would they do that , and is that the best way

21:15

to increase your

21:17

income ?

21:18

so investment is one of a

21:20

few things that you're supposed to do to

21:22

keep your money picture painted

21:24

and full and colorful , right ? So

21:27

I have young children they

21:29

are four and six and so we're teaching

21:31

them about how to use money in really simple terms . But

21:34

surprisingly , this is helpful for grownups too

21:36

, and so whenever

21:38

they get money that they've earned usually

21:40

by doing something special for a grandparent

21:43

right , oh , you helped me sweep , so they'll give a few

21:45

dollars there . Or

21:48

my son , when he goes to get

21:50

his haircut , the barber is so nice and he'll

21:52

say , oh well , you helped me sweep the floor , and

21:55

so he'll sweep the floor and he'll give him a few dollars

21:57

. And so we say , okay , whenever you get money , for

21:59

whatever reason , you've earned it . Remember

22:01

, we have three things . We have to do with it . We

22:04

can spend some of it . We have to decide how

22:06

we're going to spend it . But we also

22:08

have to save some of it , and we might

22:10

be saving because we

22:12

don't know why we need it , but we'll need it later

22:14

. Or we might be saving because there's

22:16

something really big or special you want and you

22:18

don't have enough money just yet . So we're

22:20

adding up all of our monies until we have a

22:22

big enough pile to get that special

22:24

thing you want . And we also

22:26

have to give some away , because when you have

22:29

something it's really important to share

22:31

, sharing is one of the most wonderful

22:33

things you can do . Because if

22:35

you can get that special thing and

22:37

you can share it with your best friend or with

22:39

one of your classmates who couldn't ever

22:41

get that special thing , you'll be happy

22:43

over and over again . And

22:45

it's the same for adults , right ? So if

22:47

we can figure out how to use our money in

22:49

all of those ways and the

22:51

saving part is about stacking

22:54

it up in case you need to use it later

22:56

or because you know you'll need to use it later

22:58

Investing is about

23:00

putting it in a place where you can't

23:02

touch it but it gets to work while

23:05

you are just living your life , so that as

23:07

you put a bit in , it grows , and as you

23:09

put a bit more in it grows so that it

23:11

compounds your effort . That's

23:13

why it's called compound interest , right

23:16

? So that way you put in $1

23:18

and if you let it play in the

23:20

market or in real estate

23:22

or a business , that

23:24

that dollar becomes maybe two

23:26

and then maybe over time it becomes five

23:29

and if you get really lucky or you've

23:31

had a lot of time on your side , that one might

23:33

eventually become 100 . And

23:36

so it's about letting the

23:38

money do some work , because you already worked

23:40

, and then that way

23:42

you have some money put away , not only that you've

23:44

been saving for a specific purpose or

23:47

that you just might need at some point later in the

23:49

future , but then you also have some money

23:51

that's been working in the background so that , when you're ready to

23:53

work less or to work not at all

23:55

, you have some money to take care of

23:57

your warm , cozy , safe home environment

24:00

, so that you can eat , so that you can go

24:02

and do the things you need to do every day and every

24:05

week without having to work for

24:07

an income . So , yes , it is an important aspect

24:09

, but I will tell you that for me

24:11

, investing is boring and I love it . That

24:13

way . I find

24:16

something that's already in

24:19

the US . They're called index funds . I'm sorry that I

24:21

don't . I know we have an international audience , so

24:23

please forgive me for not knowing the

24:25

terms for other markets , but it's an index fund . It's

24:27

essentially a list

24:30

of companies big and small

24:32

, different sectors and so this

24:34

risk is spread out . It's diverse . You

24:37

buy some and you just let the companies

24:40

do their work and their value

24:42

grows over time and I just put the money in

24:44

and every few months I check it oh , it's

24:46

grown Great . It's grown because I've been continuing

24:48

to put something in and because the market is performing

24:51

well Fantastic . But it's boring

24:53

. I don't get excited about specific companies

24:55

, I don't get excited about the next big thing . Nope

24:57

, I'm just letting the market do its thing

24:59

and my job is to put the money there

25:02

so it can do the work , so that in 30

25:04

years , when I need it , it's

25:10

a really big pot of money and we can do whatever we want , but I do a lot of whatever . I want now

25:12

too , and we'll talk about that . I think , yeah , definitely .

25:13

I love the fact that you don't worry so much about it because

25:15

I think some people can get really

25:18

hooked on their

25:20

investments .

25:21

Yeah , the idea is , if you have time

25:24

, which hopefully the people

25:26

who are listening that you know . If you ever heard

25:28

this adage , the best time to

25:30

invest was 10 years ago . The second best time

25:32

is today . The most important thing

25:34

with investing in anything is to

25:36

do a little bit of research , to make sure it's , at

25:39

least as far as you can tell , a

25:41

safe or lower risk

25:43

right that

25:45

it has a good chance of actually growing over

25:47

time , and to give yourself the time

25:50

. Don't put money into something where you need

25:52

it to grow in one year . That's

25:54

just unrealistic . If you had

25:56

a hundred pounds to lose , you

25:59

wouldn't only give yourself six months and if

26:01

you didn't do it , you consider

26:03

yourself a complete failure . No , it's just not a

26:05

realistic time frame . So , when it comes

26:08

to investing , put it in something

26:10

where you don't need to touch it for 5 , 10

26:13

, 15 years and just let it do its thing . Go

26:15

live your life and let that money work in

26:17

the account like it's supposed to while you're living

26:19

your life .

26:21

If someone's listening right now is

26:23

thinking my finances are a mess

26:25

, where do I start ? What

26:27

?

26:27

would you say to them ? Thank you so much for asking

26:29

this . The first thing is never say that again

26:32

, never say my finances are a mess

26:34

. So much power

26:36

comes from how we speak about

26:38

things , so

26:40

much power . And what we

26:42

don't always recognize is that our

26:44

ears are the first to hear the words

26:47

that come from our mouth . But we can use this

26:49

to our advantage . And so if

26:51

we know in our brain and our body that our

26:53

money is just not where we want it to be , that

26:56

things are not going the way we thought they

26:58

would , that we want it to be different

27:00

or better or easier or smoother

27:02

, then start talking like that . I'm getting

27:04

better with money . Every day . I'm figuring

27:07

it out , I'm learning , I'm reading

27:09

, I'm trying new things . It's

27:11

going to be better soon Because , even

27:13

if your brain doesn't believe it , as you start

27:16

to talk and speak those things

27:18

and it comes into your brain

27:20

from the outside , your brain will just

27:22

a little bit open up to those ideas

27:25

and as you do it over and

27:27

over again , the people around you will

27:29

take notice and they'll start repeating it , even if

27:31

they do it with a bit of an eye roll . When I

27:33

was in college , one of the things I used

27:35

to say all the time to my friends . They say , oh , are you

27:37

coming to the party ? And I'm like , oh no

27:39

, I have to work . And they're like , all right , you'd

27:41

rather be tired than broke . Because I used

27:43

to tell them all the time they'd be like , why do

27:45

you work so much ? And I said , well , I'd rather be tired than broke

27:47

. If I work , I

27:53

earn money and I'm not broke . And right now , in this stage of my life , that is the

27:56

most important thing . I'd rather be tired than broke . And so after a while , if

27:58

I had declined an invitation or say , oh , yes , I'll come

28:00

, but I'll have to come later , I have to work , they'd be like , oh , right

28:02

, right , right , you'd rather be tired than broke

28:04

. But for me that actually was . You

28:06

know , they maybe were annoyed or

28:09

sharing you know a bit of I

28:11

don't know , maybe even making fun of me a bit , but

28:14

for me it was really , it was actually powerful . I'm like

28:16

, wow , that's something that I say , but you're saying it

28:18

to me . That means I've said it so much

28:20

, that it's so much of what I believe

28:23

and how I'm behaving and how I'm doing it

28:25

that I don't even have to say it anymore . You're

28:27

telling me , you're affirming for me that

28:29

this is important , so you're right . I've read

28:31

A Retire Than Broke , so I'll be at work , so

28:33

save some drinks for me . I'll be there after 11 .

28:37

Oh , I love that , absolutely love that

28:39

. That's fantastic . What is the one thing

28:41

that changed your finances forever ? The one thing that changed your

28:43

finances forever ?

28:45

You know it's when I realized

28:48

because

28:55

I was recovering from so much trauma around money , that I really felt like money took so many things

28:57

from me . That , or really the lack of money , that

28:59

money is perhaps the reason why my

29:01

mom went to prison in the first place because

29:03

we didn't have the money for a really good

29:05

lawyer , went to prison in the first place because we didn't have the money for a really good

29:07

lawyer , or that we were living in a neighborhood that caused

29:09

the situation that led to her arrest to

29:11

happen , and if we had a

29:13

better financial situation , we wouldn't have even been in that

29:15

neighborhood kind of thing . I realized

29:18

that , in order for my body

29:21

my body because I felt those things

29:23

in my body to trust

29:25

that all the work we were doing , all

29:27

those jobs , all that

29:30

reading , all that listening

29:32

to podcasts and radio shows

29:34

was going to be worth it , I

29:36

couldn't just live in the future , I

29:38

couldn't just say I'm working this hard

29:40

for future , me for six months from now , for

29:43

one year from now , for six

29:45

months from now , for one year

29:47

from now , that I had to take care

29:49

of myself today , that

29:57

I had to fit in some joy , some happiness , some pleasure in today , and that I also needed to address my

29:59

past , that I had to do all three at the same time . I had to work on

30:01

the present of my money , the

30:03

past of my money and the future

30:05

of my money , that I couldn't ignore any

30:08

of them . Because if I ignored the present

30:10

, if I denied all pleasure

30:13

, all happiness in the name

30:15

of future me , we weren't going to make it

30:17

to future me . We weren't , we

30:19

were going to get tired , we were going to give

30:22

up , we were going to throw it all away

30:24

if we didn't fit in some happiness

30:26

, some joy , simple things

30:29

, simple simple things like actually

30:31

saying yes to a dinner invitation or

30:34

cooking a really great meal

30:36

with maybe slightly more expensive ingredients because

30:38

I just like them better . And

30:43

that if I ignored my past , if

30:45

I didn't take care of the things like

30:48

the money I owe to people or banks

30:50

or loans that

30:52

present me , wasn't going to be happy

30:54

. And we again , we might not make it to future

30:56

. So I had to think about all three . But thinking

30:58

about all three was actually it

31:02

. I think some people listening might say , ooh

31:04

, that sounds heavy , that sounds like a lot

31:06

, yeah

31:11

, yeah , and it's actually great because

31:14

the past , you'll realize

31:16

, you've had a lot of lessons that maybe

31:18

you didn't know at the time were lessons you needed about

31:21

how to interact with the world and how to use

31:23

money , and so you can and how

31:26

using the money in certain ways

31:28

leads to great things or not so great things

31:30

. And the present is

31:32

the gift , right ? We don't

31:34

know what the future looks like . We can

31:37

do our best to put things in place

31:39

so that the future looks

31:41

the way that we've imagined it , but

31:43

we don't have a lot of control . But in the

31:45

present , we can choose to be happy

31:48

and to bring the things into our life

31:50

that bring that joy and

31:52

that ease . And so don't

31:54

wait for it , find those little ways to

31:56

incorporate it now . Love that joy and that ease , and so don't wait for it . Find those little ways to incorporate

31:59

it now .

31:59

Love that Absolutely . Yes

32:02

, thank you for sharing that . So

32:04

tell me more about how you work and

32:07

what your work involves .

32:10

So the way that I wrote this book

32:12

is I actually I think I told you earlier

32:14

in this conversation that once

32:16

I started kind of getting good with money , my friends

32:18

and my siblings kind of noticed well , you always

32:20

seem to have money , what is that about

32:23

? And so I said , well , I can show you . But

32:25

I got to get in your business . I'm going

32:27

to ask you a bunch of questions . I'm going

32:29

to make you . Show me your bank statements . We're

32:31

going to talk about how you're using money , how you're

32:33

not using money , how you're earning money where

32:36

the money's going , where it's not going . So I got to get in your business

32:38

. So if you don't want me in your business , then

32:40

I'll recommend a

32:42

few books to you that I think were really helpful

32:44

to me . But if you're okay with me getting

32:46

your business , I can show you how . But I got to get in your business

32:48

Because me giving you a budget worksheet

32:51

without understanding what your relationship

32:53

with and to money is , it's not going

32:55

to get as far . And

33:01

I had a few friends who said you know what Sounds good ? Because you seem to have money

33:04

and that looks fun . Money is fun . I'd like some more of that . And

33:07

so I started coaching and I realized

33:09

after a few friends that I

33:11

was kind of asking the same set of questions

33:13

, that I was having them fill out

33:16

the same forms so

33:18

that I could get a picture of where

33:20

they were in their money and where they wanted to go

33:22

and how much time they felt like they had

33:24

to get there and if

33:26

they needed to bring someone along with them , whether it

33:28

be a partner or a parent

33:31

or a sibling . Because we are

33:34

, as humans , live in communities and so sometimes we got to

33:36

bring the community with us to to make

33:38

sure it actually works . And

33:40

then I kind of created a system

33:42

like okay , well , these are the questions everybody asks

33:45

, answers , these are the forms everyone

33:47

fills out . And then , after several years

33:49

of that and that , my

33:51

husband being like , look , you know , you

33:53

should just write your book , cause I think he was just tired

33:55

of me saying I should write my book so that I could have

33:58

something else to talk about . And

34:00

I took all of those emails

34:03

and conversations in

34:05

that system and added additional

34:08

content and background

34:10

and how to , and that's what became the book . So

34:12

I started as this self-study who

34:15

then started coaching family and friends and

34:17

then said oh , I don't have capacity to coach

34:19

the way that I like to coach , where I really

34:22

get deep with people , and so maybe if I

34:24

put the system in the book , more people can

34:26

do the steps themselves

34:28

to at least get a start . And then once

34:31

they have that baseline place

34:33

where things are at least running a little more smoothly

34:35

, then they can come to me with

34:37

the more difficult questions

34:39

or issues . But at least if

34:41

I can hand them the book I can say try

34:43

this first . And that would buy me time

34:46

to either get more capacity for clients

34:48

or put up a digital course

34:50

or something so that they could be served , but without

34:52

me having to be there , because raising small

34:54

kids takes a lot of time .

35:02

Definitely . Yeah , I'm busy right now , so tell me about your book how to

35:04

Afford Everything . I mean , I just love the title

35:06

. That in itself speaks volumes

35:09

to me .

35:10

Yeah , you know it took me . The title was one of

35:12

the last things me and the editor came

35:14

up with because I was

35:16

kind of waiting Before

35:19

I started writing the book , because I'm a reader . When you're

35:21

a reader , I think

35:23

it makes it a bit easier to be a writer , because

35:25

you've seen things talked about in so many different

35:27

ways . You kind of know the way that you want to talk about

35:30

it in the form of a book , of a book

35:32

. And I remember reading

35:34

or hearing something from some other

35:36

author that , oh , the book told

35:38

me its title . Somewhere in the

35:40

book the title will come to you . So

35:43

the editor was asking me okay , so what are we going to

35:45

name this book ? And I said I

35:49

don't know yet . I'm waiting for the book to tell me . I'm waiting for the book to tell

35:52

me , as we're getting through the chapter and the next chapter , I'm waiting for the book

35:54

to tell me chapter and the next chapter . I'm waiting

35:56

for the book to tell me . And she said

35:58

, okay , but we need to get on the cover design . So the book hasn't

36:00

told you yet . So I think you got to come up with it . I said , okay

36:03

, what am I promising

36:05

with this book ? What am I

36:07

telling people ? I'm going to teach them what

36:10

might make someone

36:12

who knows they want

36:14

or need help with their money , but

36:17

has been afraid to

36:19

pick up a book about it for whatever

36:21

reason , what might make them pick it up ? I

36:23

said , you know , I'm going to make a bold promise . I'm

36:26

going to make a bold statement . You know what you

36:28

know I'm going to teach you , I want to teach you how to afford

36:30

everything . And it was like

36:32

is there a subtitle ? Everything you want , everything

36:34

you can afford ? Like no , just

36:41

everything , because each person has a different everything . Right now , depending on where you are

36:44

, you might just be like look , I just want to afford all the bills , that's

36:46

all I want . I just want to be able to pay the bills

36:48

on time every month . That's

36:50

all . That's all I want . For some

36:52

people , they're like okay , I've got that down , but my

36:54

kids are getting older and I want to be able to send them to university

36:57

. And some people are like oh , no

36:59

, no , no , we've got that stuff down , but you

37:01

know what I really want to afford ? I want to afford a boat

37:03

. How can I do that ? And

37:16

so I meant it to be a bit up for interpretation in hopes that someone who has been

37:18

previously hesitant to pick up a book about money or who's been hurt by a book about money .

37:20

I've been hurt by a book about money before Might pick try again . Definitely , I love it , absolutely

37:23

love it . Yes , so

37:25

you are the host of the podcast Financial

37:27

Freedom as well . Tell me more about

37:29

that .

37:30

Yes , I did . I did a very short

37:33

podcast as

37:35

part of . One

37:38

of the things that I worried about putting the book out is I talk about money very

37:40

much in this way , the way that I'm talking

37:43

about you . This is how the book reads , and

37:45

I was worried that someone who

37:47

liked to read about money might

37:49

pick up my book and say who was this person who claims

37:52

to be a doctor , talking so unseriously

37:55

and casually about this very important

37:57

topic ? I was really . I had a lot

37:59

of fear around that , and so

38:01

I said I know what to do . I need to just get

38:03

my voice out , because once people

38:06

talk to me , once they hear me

38:08

for two minutes , they go oh

38:10

, that's just how she talks , oh , that's just

38:12

how she teaches . And

38:14

so I had this bright idea that

38:16

I would record a short

38:19

five episode miniseries

38:21

that went through the key topics

38:23

of the book so that I , in my

38:25

own words , could describe how

38:28

I teach about money , tell some of my

38:30

favorite stories , get

38:32

people to hear a

38:35

sample of it so they could

38:37

know if I was the right teacher for them . Because

38:39

I didn't want people to pick up my book

38:41

and be like this was trash , because maybe it was

38:43

trash for them to listen to me first , so

38:45

that you don't waste your money or my time and then

38:47

end up writing a bad review just because I'm not the right

38:49

teacher for you . And so , yes , that's the story

38:52

behind the podcast . I have not recorded more podcast

38:54

episodes yet , partially

38:56

because I just love this . I love being able to

38:58

visit people like you and

39:01

to talk to your audience and to share

39:03

the stories and to learn about other

39:05

podcast hosts . And again , going

39:07

back to raising small kids , I don't think I have the time

39:09

to be a producer

39:12

, right , it's much easier for me to show

39:14

up and look cute and talk with you and

39:16

then say , okay , bye , I'm having a great day , but after

39:18

this you're going to go edit and and

39:20

promote and adjust

39:23

and , nope , this is much more fun

39:25

.

39:27

I love it , absolutely love it . What

39:29

is one of the most important lessons

39:31

you have learned over your life so far

39:34

? Everything is figureoutable

39:36

Everything

39:38

.

39:39

Everything is figureoutable and

39:41

you don't have to know the answer . But if you get good

39:43

at asking questions , you can get

39:45

closer every moment . Everything

39:47

is figureoutable . There is some solution

39:50

somewhere , and even if the first few solutions

39:52

that come to you is a menu

39:54

of bad solutions , one of them is

39:56

probably less bad , so start there and

39:59

then ask more questions , and everything

40:01

is figureoutable Everything

40:03

.

40:04

Absolutely love it . You have

40:06

given us so many tools , daily steps

40:08

, to anyone that wants to start improving

40:11

their finances . What is your key

40:13

takeaway To start .

40:14

Start as small as you need to One

40:17

step . Decide on one

40:19

thing you'll do today and

40:21

then decide on one thing you'll do this week

40:23

, and it can be a tiny thing of

40:25

okay , I'll print my bank statement so I can look at

40:27

them . It could be I

40:30

will make a list of all of the

40:32

credit cards I have , just so that I know

40:34

which ones are active and which ones

40:36

are not . It could be I'll open

40:38

a savings account because I realized I don't have a place

40:41

to kind of put money

40:43

away . It's all in the same place . Just

40:45

decide one thing you'll do today tiny

40:47

, tiny , tiny thing and one thing you'll do this

40:50

week again also a very

40:52

small thing and then do it over and

40:54

over again . Okay , what's one thing I can do this week

40:56

?

40:56

Yeah , brilliant . So

40:58

where can the listeners find you online , your

41:00

book , your podcasts , what's your website

41:02

, dr Darla ?

41:03

The easiest way to find all of the things

41:06

is to find my website , which is darlabishopcom

41:09

, and that'll lead you to

41:12

the social media accounts under

41:14

my underscore finances and

41:16

that'll lead you to the social media accounts

41:18

under my underscore finances . That'll

41:22

lead you to howtoaffordeverythingcom that has tons of freebies , because , as a teacher and

41:24

as a learner , I know that not every student and every teacher

41:26

is for one another , and so

41:28

I try to put a lot of things out there

41:30

so people can kind of try me out right

41:32

. They can hear the way I talk , they can see

41:34

the way that I write . People can kind of try me out right . They can hear

41:37

the way I talk , they can see the way that I write . There's a sample chapter

41:39

so they can kind of test if I'm the right teacher for them

41:41

, because I'm going to make

41:43

you do work . There's a lot of homework . The book

41:45

is chock full of

41:47

worksheets . Every chapter

41:49

has work you have to do built

41:52

right in there , and so

41:54

I don't want you to be pissed

41:56

off that this teacher that you don't

41:58

even like is making you do this hard work , right

42:00

? No , no , no , I want you to be like okay , I like her

42:03

enough to do the work , and then you do the work

42:05

and you feel a little bad , but then you see it

42:07

getting better .

42:08

Excellent , absolutely excellent

42:10

. I love your approach so

42:12

much and

42:15

thank you for sharing your courageous journey

42:18

and deep , insightful wisdom and knowledge

42:20

with us today , and by doing so

42:22

, I know you have helped so many others

42:24

, dr Darla Bishop .

42:26

Thank you so much for having me . This was a fantastic

42:29

conversation .

42:30

Oh , it's my absolute pleasure . I've

42:32

learned so much as well , so thank you personally

42:35

Also , you'll be rich in no time , absolutely , absolute pleasure .

42:36

I've learned so much as well , so thank you personally Also you'll be rich in no time .

42:39

Absolutely so

42:41

. We are all about Create the

42:43

Courage to be Fearless . Podcast . What is

42:45

your definition of ?

42:47

courage , knowing that you're scared

42:49

and doing it scared .