Episode Transcript
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0:11
Greetings friends, welcome back to
0:13
Critically Claims. The Film Review podcast
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with an explosion at the front.
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It's been saved. It's a party
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in the front and boring in
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the back. That's a party all
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the way through, man. Okay. My
0:26
name is Whitney Seibold. I'm a
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film critic. I am... Why choose a sleep
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you. Learn more at sleepnumber.com. We
0:57
are reviewing this week. We are
1:00
reviewing I think we're a little
1:02
we're a little late to the
1:04
action on this one, but Star
1:07
Trek section 31. Yes, which is
1:09
the new made for Paramount Plus
1:11
Star Trek movies spit off of
1:14
Star Trek discovery the
1:16
animated family movie Dogman
1:18
the comedy horror thriller
1:21
companion the I assume not
1:23
comedy Steven Soderberghor movie presence.
1:25
Yes, ghost story. And the
1:27
sci-fi love story love me
1:29
starring Kristen Stewart and Steven
1:32
yen as a satellite and
1:34
a flotation boy that fall
1:36
in love after humanity dies.
1:38
Sounds amazing. It's a good pitch.
1:40
I'll tell you that right now. I'm
1:43
intrigued. We'd like to start with the
1:45
biggest movie of the week, but... Well,
1:47
that's probably dogman when it comes to
1:49
like theatrical grosses. I think in terms
1:52
of nerddom We'd be remiss if we
1:54
didn't start with Star Trek We don't
1:56
want to start we have a Star
1:58
Trek podcast. So we're we're through and
2:01
through. It's a patron exclusive. It's called
2:03
All Our Yesterday's. We review every episode
2:05
of Star Trek in order. We've got
2:07
hundreds of episodes in the can already
2:10
and we recently just started doing Deep
2:12
Space Nine. That's right. We're that far
2:14
along in the history of Star Trek.
2:16
Yeah. And now we get to the
2:19
most recent film. This is the 14th
2:21
feature film to be spun off of
2:23
Star Trek. Yeah. This one specifically comes
2:26
from the Kurtzman verse. Alex Kurtzman took
2:28
over Star Trek and launched... it like
2:30
relaunched the whole franchise in
2:32
2017 with the launch of
2:35
CBS All Access which became
2:37
Paramount Plus. Right. The premiere
2:40
show the flagship of this
2:42
new Star Trek universe was
2:44
Star Trek Discovery. A show
2:46
that was initially created by
2:48
Brian Fuller. and was taken
2:51
away from him and tink-munkeied
2:53
with by a lot of
2:55
different producers. Pretty much right
2:57
after like the first episode,
2:59
and to be clear Alex
3:01
Kurtzman also co-wrote the J.J.
3:03
Abrams movie as well, but
3:05
correct me if I'm wrong
3:07
here, because this is something even
3:10
as a Trekkie, I'm less of a
3:12
Trekkie than you, I know less than you. This
3:14
still confuses me. Is Star
3:16
Trek discovery... an completely
3:19
alternate timeline? Is it a
3:21
prequel to the original series
3:23
and Next Generation as we
3:25
know them? Or is it
3:27
a prequel to the Jay
3:29
Jay Abrams movies? Or some
3:32
other weird thing that I
3:34
can't even fathom. Well, there was
3:36
some debate on this. When
3:38
the reason the Jay Jay
3:40
Abrams films got made was because
3:42
of Janet Jackson. Stay with me
3:45
on this. I happen to know
3:47
that this is true, but it's
3:49
what an intro. This is an
3:52
interesting story. So for the longest
3:54
time, a paramount and
3:56
its parent company, Viacom,
3:59
its parent mount. parent-bound
4:01
company, Viacom, owned Star
4:03
Trek. And that was, that
4:05
held true throughout sort of
4:08
its glory days in the
4:10
90s. The next generation Deep
4:12
Space Nine Voyager and then
4:15
even into the 2000s with
4:17
Enterprise. Then came that Super
4:19
Bowl incident. Now, the
4:21
Super Bowl was being
4:24
broadcasted by a subsidiary
4:26
of Viacom. There was this big
4:28
there was the big scandal where Justin
4:30
Timberlake removed a piece of Janet Jackson's
4:32
clothing and exposed her on television Yeah
4:34
in the midst of the Super Bowl
4:37
halftime show right at the end of
4:39
it Yeah, and there was some debate
4:41
over whether or not it was scripted
4:43
or not Justin Timberlake noped out of
4:45
that controversy and let Janet Jackson fall
4:47
on her sword by the way. I'm
4:49
still mad about it doing fine. Yeah,
4:51
she she weathered it well and whether
4:53
or not it was staged you can
4:56
debate that if you alive What happened
4:58
though was the TV station
5:00
got a lot of angry
5:02
letters. Yeah. The term wardrobe
5:05
malfunction became part of the
5:07
lexicon. And there was so
5:10
much bad blood within the
5:12
company that the president of
5:15
Viacom, I think it was
5:17
less moon vest, decided... No,
5:19
it was more moon vest. Oh my
5:22
God. Had to... There was a
5:24
big schism within the company and
5:26
they decided to split the CBS
5:28
arm of the company and the
5:30
Paramount arm of the company so
5:33
So it's like the parent trap.
5:35
Pretty much. Well, each parent got a
5:37
different child. More or like, and then
5:39
when they finally met, it was chaos.
5:41
One of them got a lot of
5:43
the TV stuff, a lot of the
5:45
MTV, a lot of the Nickelodeon, and
5:47
the other one got all of the,
5:49
like the movie stuff, the Paramount stuff,
5:51
the Paramount stuff. The problem with that
5:53
was the CBS arm had all of
5:55
the movie rights to Star Trek. So
5:57
if they wanted to make a new
5:59
movie. they essentially had to license the
6:01
Star Trek brand from within their own
6:04
company. Yeah. And it was around that
6:06
time that the TV arm and only
6:08
and they would also have to like
6:10
make a deal with Paramount in
6:13
order to make new TV shows.
6:15
Right. Everyone everything got more complicated.
6:17
Yeah, exactly. Just legally they had
6:19
to start like cross licensing within
6:21
the company. CBS in order to
6:24
make profit off of Star Trek
6:26
decided to repackage all of Star
6:28
Trek on DVD. they decided to
6:30
start shopping the show around on
6:32
streaming channels, which were kind of
6:35
a novelty at the time. And
6:37
all of a sudden, the market
6:39
was flooded with all the Star
6:41
Trek. The reason we have all
6:43
of those, access to all the
6:45
Star Trek DVDs, Janet Jackson. Thanks
6:48
Janet. And paramount, the only way
6:50
they could make money and market
6:52
new toys and new kind of
6:55
merch was to make movies. Yeah.
6:57
the license was owned by another
6:59
half of the company, it had
7:01
to be, quote, legally distinct from
7:03
the ordinary Star Trek. So they
7:06
could use the names Captain Kirk
7:08
and U.S.S. Enterprise, but they couldn't
7:10
look like the ones we knew
7:12
from the TV show. Hence the
7:14
creation of an alternate timeline within
7:16
the Star Trek universe, the Calvin
7:19
verse. So everything within the
7:21
Calvin movies had to be legally
7:23
distinct. If you recall in the
7:25
Calvin verse, however. This is going
7:28
to get even nerdier. There
7:30
is a scene, a flashback
7:32
scene, where we get to
7:34
meet Spock, played by Leonard
7:36
Nimoy, back in the original
7:39
Star Trek timeline. Was
7:41
that, and they referred to
7:43
that as the prime timeline,
7:45
that's sort of like a,
7:48
and they referred to it. Because
7:50
Star Trek aired in
7:52
Primtown. Yes. But that's not why it's called
7:54
the prime timeline. That's one of the reasons. It's not
7:56
kind of the prime time line. It doesn't disprove my
7:59
theory. I suppose what is... your theory? I'm confused.
8:01
My theory is that it is that at
8:03
some point someone could have said, ha, Star
8:05
Trek was in prime time, let's keep it.
8:07
It might have occurred to somebody down
8:09
the line. Given the intelligence of
8:11
a lot of recent Star Trek writing,
8:14
that doesn't strike me as unlikely. Yeah.
8:16
So... Some fans have argued that
8:18
because the whole film needed to
8:20
be legally distinct that all of
8:22
the stuff from the quote prime
8:24
timeline Was not part of the
8:26
original Star Trek timeline that it
8:28
was another A tertiary alternate dimension
8:30
altogether. Yeah, the the so-called Kelvin
8:32
verse is what the movies. Yeah,
8:34
we're called because they the the
8:36
destruction of the U. S. Kelvin
8:38
at the beginning of split it
8:40
into a new dimension. So
8:43
yeah, the whole G.G. Abrams, that
8:45
there were three G.G. Abrams films
8:47
set in this alternate timeline, but
8:49
when they finally got around to
8:51
making C.B.S. all access, Star Trek
8:53
Discovery was supposed to be true Star
8:55
Trek again. Okay, back to the rich.
8:57
So it takes place in the same
8:59
continuity as all the other shows that
9:01
came before it. But just the TV
9:04
shows, not the Calvin movies and the
9:06
original 10 movies. Yeah. But
9:08
they also dinked around with a lot
9:10
of things. They also, because they had
9:12
a bigger budget and they wanted to
9:15
sort of make it look distinct, just
9:17
aesthetically. Well, they wanted to, they wanted
9:19
to capture the cinematic look of the
9:21
JJ Abrams movies. There was a lens
9:24
flare, there's a production design that was
9:26
very similar to the Abrams verse. One
9:28
of the co-screenwriters of the Abrams movies,
9:31
Alex Kurtzman, took over, he became the
9:33
like the new Rick Berman, essentially, the
9:35
executive producer of everything that was going
9:37
on. Star Trek, honestly, because all
9:39
of the shows he has overseen
9:42
have kind of deliberately, very
9:44
deliberately eschewed the kind of
9:46
stodgy classicism, if you were, the
9:49
kind of diplomatic underpinnings of a
9:51
lot of the original Star Trek
9:53
shows. Which is, which, which in
9:55
a vacuum is fine. It's fine.
9:57
It's fine. A franchise needs to.
10:00
continue to grow and evolve as time
10:02
goes on. Okay, they're like redesigning certain
10:04
alien species, they're changing the way ships
10:06
look and move, all of that's fine
10:08
because they need to update it for
10:10
a new medium. I don't even have
10:12
a big issue with the way they
10:14
redesigned the Klingons. I don't necessarily like
10:16
the new design, but I think it's
10:18
okay that they tried to do that.
10:20
from the original show to next generation. No,
10:22
that's true. There is precedent for it. It's
10:24
hard to complain when it's, oh no, they
10:26
changed it from the stuff that they changed
10:29
it to. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well I can
10:31
only get so mad, I suppose. Yeah. Since
10:33
then they kind of walked it back and
10:35
the Klingons now look more like they did
10:37
in that generation. Yeah, no, no, because they
10:39
just didn't like the design. It's like all
10:42
of a sudden like that they have like,
10:44
like, like, like, like onyx black skin and
10:46
no hair and extra nostrils. It's like they
10:48
look and their eyes are different. They look
10:50
completely different. Yeah. But again, I'm
10:52
okay with all of this. then they invent
10:55
we final but they tried to
10:57
do sort of the modern TV
10:59
approach where they took an entire
11:01
season and told one gigantic very
11:03
eventful story arc yeah instead of
11:05
the episodic structure yeah Star Trek
11:07
usually had to that date where
11:09
every episode was a new adventure
11:11
it took many episodes to finally
11:13
get to the USS discovery which
11:15
the show was named after and
11:17
the USS discovery had invented this
11:19
new technology which allowed it to
11:21
teleport anywhere in the universe yeah
11:23
which is such a dramatic sea change
11:25
for the world of Star Trek. You
11:27
know, a show about trekking. Yeah. And
11:29
because it was, and was a prequel
11:32
no less. So like how did this
11:34
technology change everything that we'd seen before?
11:36
So they had to, they had to
11:38
write themselves into and out of corners.
11:40
all the time. Just to justify the
11:42
existence of the show that they made
11:44
up. They didn't have to make it
11:46
that one. But to be clear, get
11:48
back to focus on my question. Yes.
11:50
Is this to be clear? Is discovery its
11:52
own thing? Is it part of the Kelvin
11:55
verse? Is it original timeline or is it
11:57
still unclear? It's it's the original timeline,
11:59
but But I think a lot
12:01
of like old world trekkeys take
12:03
it with a little bit of
12:05
a grain of salt. It's because
12:07
it's sort of this brand new
12:09
production team at a brand
12:11
new creative team, which has
12:14
a handful of writers, a
12:16
handful of directors, and an
12:18
army of producers. Like they're
12:20
literally 21 producer credits at
12:22
the head of every episode
12:24
of Star Trek discovery. Too
12:26
many cooks in this one. I'm
12:29
not sure if the producers are getting work. Not sure,
12:31
like a lot of people, a lot of times when
12:33
you're, when you're like listed as a producer, it could
12:35
be a legacy credit. Yeah. Like Brian Fuller's still listed
12:37
as a producer because he produced the pilot. Yeah. You
12:39
know, he's not, he's not working on anymore. He hasn't
12:41
worked on it since, yeah. Sam Simon is credited
12:43
as a producer on The Simpsons. He
12:45
died years ago. He's still getting a
12:47
credit. He's actually obligated because he's part
12:50
of the, you know, formation of the
12:52
thing. Fun bit of side trivia about
12:54
the Simpsons. Sam Simon was briefly married
12:56
to Jennifer Tilly, the actress. Oh, that's
12:58
cool. And when they split up, one
13:00
of the stipulations of the divorce was
13:03
that she get 30% of his Simpsons
13:05
money as long as he's credited on
13:07
the show. She is so fucking rich.
13:09
No wonder she's playing poker all the
13:11
time. She's just playing for her to
13:14
lose it. She's got, she can do
13:16
whatever she wants. She doesn't have to
13:18
work. So, but anyway, Jennifer Tilli aside.
13:22
I think we could dedicate this entire
13:24
podcast to Jennifer Tilly. Most podcasts
13:26
could be dedicated to Jennifer Tilly.
13:28
But I digress. Okay, let's get
13:30
back to section 31. Now, because
13:32
this is this is a whole
13:34
fucking can of worms. Now, so
13:36
this movie is definitely in the
13:38
discovery verse, which is kind of
13:40
the original universe, but kind of
13:42
the original universe, but it's kind
13:44
of its own thing. Here's a
13:47
deal. Back in Star
13:49
Trek Deep Space Nine, which was
13:51
on in the 1990s, they introduced
13:53
a concept to Star Trek called
13:56
Section 31, which was essentially the
13:58
Black Ops CIA unit. of the
14:00
Federation. The Federation is supposed to be
14:02
this egalitarian, diplomatic entity that doesn't
14:04
do that kind of thing. And indeed
14:06
the very existence of Section 31
14:08
was a closely held secret that only
14:10
a few people even knew about.
14:13
But they do the stuff that they're
14:15
not supposed to be doing, spy
14:17
work, assassinations. And he, that is the
14:19
agent from Section 31 is played
14:21
by William Sadler on Deep Space Nine.
14:23
Yeah. Sort
14:25
of served. But previously been a cue, so maybe
14:27
that explains it. It wasn't a cue. Wasn't he,
14:29
wasn't William Sadler a cue in that episode where
14:31
a cue lost his powers? That wasn't
14:33
William Sadler. Who was that? I forgot the actor's
14:35
name, but it wasn't William Sadler. It was William
14:37
Sadler. No, he was
14:40
like a TV veteran, but no,
14:42
it was not William Sadler. Okay,
14:44
all right. Shut my mouth, I
14:46
guess. But yeah, the function of
14:48
Section 31 on Deep Space
14:50
Nine was to reveal kind
14:52
of a moral rot within
14:54
the Federation. It was to
14:56
test Dr. Bashir's
14:58
moral compass a little
15:00
bit, like we, because they were trying to recruit
15:02
the character of Dr. Bashir into Section 31.
15:04
It's like you get to do black ops stuff
15:07
and he said, that's not moral. Yeah. We
15:09
don't get to do that. It was Corbin Bernstein.
15:11
Corbin Bernstein. I can see it, I can
15:13
see how confused the two, okay. Anyway,
15:17
and it was always seen
15:19
as something very shadowy and something
15:21
incredibly unfortunate that Star Trek,
15:23
that the Federation felt they needed
15:25
to resort to shady murders in
15:27
order to keep the status quo.
15:29
It's a betrayal of their ideals.
15:31
a betrayal of Roddenberry's concept of
15:33
the future. It is a bad
15:36
thing that it exists. Cut to
15:38
like 30 years later now and it's cool. It's
15:40
super cool, it's the best part of
15:43
Star Trek. Everyone gets to wear leather and
15:45
swear. No, it's suicide squad. Yeah,
15:48
the main character in this new
15:50
Section 31 movie is Empress Philippa
15:52
Giorgio, played by Michelle Yeo. And
15:54
if you haven't been following Star
15:56
Trek, that's a whole
15:58
can of fucking work. In short, there's
16:00
a mirror universe. She's from the evil
16:03
mirror universe that you that most even
16:05
non-treckeys know about the mirror universe because
16:07
of Spock with a goatee. Basically there's
16:10
an alternate reality where every good guy
16:12
is evil. She was a character who
16:14
died in like the first couple episodes
16:17
of discovery, a heroic character, but her
16:19
evil doppelganger was a genocidal tyrant who
16:21
ruled the Federation or the Terran Empire,
16:24
as they call it in the Alton
16:26
universe. So she was basically space Hitler.
16:28
And then she came over to
16:30
our reality and she kind of
16:32
found her conscience, but she's also
16:34
kind of kind of... a still
16:37
space Hitler a bit because martial
16:39
arts space Hitler played by Michelle
16:41
Yo might be redemptive is a weird
16:43
pitch. It's a weird pitch. I'm not
16:45
sure it's a good one, but it's
16:47
weird. And the timeline of the whole
16:49
thing is weird because, you know, Discovery
16:51
ended up like visiting the 32nd century,
16:54
which is like almost a thousand years
16:56
after the ordinary Star Trek events. But
16:58
she developed like a time flu and
17:00
had to go back closer to the
17:02
next generation timeline in order to survive.
17:04
Although, although they mix it up because
17:06
the star date they give is close
17:08
to the next generation timeline. But the
17:10
actual year they give. is closer to
17:13
the original Star Trek and those
17:15
are set about a century apart.
17:17
In the movie. In section 31.
17:19
So there's like there's like 60
17:21
to 70 years that are unaccounted
17:23
for. They don't have the timeline
17:25
quite right in this movie but
17:27
that's only stuff nerds will notice.
17:29
Yeah. Stuff non nerds will notice
17:31
is how shitty the movie is.
17:33
Okay. I'm gonna explain something right
17:35
now. I've seen this movie and
17:37
I'm going to do my best
17:39
to refrain from officially... like reviewing it
17:42
and getting very opinionated about it because
17:44
I know someone who worked on the
17:46
project. Okay. No, they worked on it
17:48
back when it was a TV series and
17:50
then gradually got short into a mini series
17:52
and then became a movie and as my
17:54
understanding his work had very little of it
17:56
made it into the movie if anything and
17:58
he doesn't care but from me I think
18:00
it is my responsibility to know about of
18:03
stuff like that but I can talk to
18:05
I can talk about observations okay I can
18:07
talk about context like what it means to
18:09
the rest of the the franchise I can
18:11
make sort of a neutral statement but I'm
18:13
gonna try to refrain from being opinionated because
18:16
it's the right thing to do Yeah, maybe
18:18
I'm overreacting, but it's right thing to do.
18:20
Yeah, and you mentioned this was going to
18:22
be a TV series, Section 31, starring Michelle.
18:24
Yo, Alex Kurtzman has said in interviews, it
18:26
was after she won an Oscar that she
18:29
said she's not going to do TV anymore.
18:31
Yeah, she didn't want to do a whole
18:33
series. So they decided to shorten this
18:35
series into a single TV movie. It's
18:37
the first TV movie. that Star Trek
18:40
is done unless you want to count
18:42
Dark Horizon the two-hour episode of Star
18:44
Trek Voyager came out I think the
18:47
show's fifth season was that was that
18:49
like marketed separately is like Star Trek
18:51
Voyager Dark Horizon or was it? Yeah
18:54
they called it Star Trek Voyager Dark
18:56
Horizon that's the way they marketed it
18:58
and they aired it in a one
19:00
gigantic chunk yeah so the irony is
19:03
that although this is now like a
19:05
movie in a standalone movie it's very
19:07
very much we're introducing a whole bunch
19:10
of characters there they're a ragtag group
19:12
of misfits and by the end of
19:14
it that not everyone survives it's that
19:16
kind of suicide squatty 30 dozen type
19:18
movie but the implication is and if
19:21
you like this maybe the adventure will
19:23
continue if Michelle Yo decides she wants
19:25
to do TV again right yeah basically
19:27
but yeah it does it never because
19:30
here's the thing with Star Trek makes
19:32
a movie Because there's so much Star
19:34
Trek on TV. And the Star Trek
19:36
on TV, you know, it can be
19:39
cheed, but it is still epic. You're
19:41
traveling the stars, you're meeting aliens,
19:43
and still fundamentally kind of... Depends
19:45
on the budget that week, but yes.
19:47
Yeah, but even a low budget
19:49
episode can have an epic concept,
19:51
for example. So when they make a
19:54
Star Trek movie, the temptation, and
19:56
I get it, is to try to
19:58
make it as cinematic. This stakes really
20:00
high and make the story conclude in
20:03
a very splashy way. Rather unfortunately a
20:05
lot of the Star Trek movies, even
20:07
ones I like, tend to fall into
20:09
really kind of tired action tropes to
20:11
make their films seem kind of bigger
20:13
and more epic. And one of the
20:15
bigger explosions, bigger fights, that kind of
20:17
stuff. And one of the best things
20:20
about Star Trek, and I think one
20:22
of the reasons why Star Trek still
20:24
thrives, all these years later. is that
20:26
Star Trek is a very malleable premise.
20:28
You can do almost anything in Star
20:30
Trek. There are certain rules by which
20:32
we have to abide, but they break
20:34
those sometimes too. But yeah, you can
20:37
do a big action spectacular Star Trek,
20:39
but that's not all Star Trek is.
20:41
You can also do really heady, talky,
20:43
sci-fi Star Trek. That works too. You
20:45
can do a character-driven bit. You can
20:47
do a fucking musical, like you can
20:49
do it all. It's all a delivery system
20:51
for any kind of story you want to
20:54
you want to tell, but... Most of the
20:56
movies tend to be the same type
20:58
of story. Yeah, yeah, there's Four I
21:00
guess now five of the Star
21:02
Trek movies in a row
21:04
have involved as a central
21:06
part of their plot a
21:08
bad guy who wants revenge
21:10
And and and several of
21:13
them have had like doomsday
21:15
weapons They actually used the
21:17
word super weapon in dialogue
21:19
in section 31. Okay, listen,
21:21
sometimes. That's a screen writing
21:23
term. I understand that. It's
21:25
still, it's still accurate. Okay.
21:27
Early in, in Star Trek
21:29
Discovery, when Philip Horsjo was
21:31
going back, like leaving. Star Trek
21:33
Discovery and going on for our own adventures.
21:35
One character referred to the mirror timeline and
21:38
the prime timeline. Those are fan terms that
21:40
we made them to describe those things that
21:42
are now just part that they just used
21:44
part as part of dialogue. I thought they
21:46
called it the mirror universe in universe. And
21:48
then they call that discovery? That yeah,
21:50
and discovery they started calling it the
21:52
mirror universe. That because it was called
21:54
named after an episode called mirror mirror. Yeah,
21:56
but come on. What are supposed to just
21:58
make up some random... thing when everyone
22:01
already calls it something the
22:03
fans call it my point is this why
22:05
come up with the news it's sort of
22:07
like when um all right so
22:09
uh when Thanos killed half the
22:11
Marvel Cinematic universe snap of his
22:13
fingers fans called it the snap
22:15
what who survived the snap what
22:18
happened after the snap but then
22:20
when start when Spider-Man far from
22:22
home came out we find out
22:24
the people within the universe called
22:26
it the blip yes That's completely
22:28
unnecessary. Like we already called it
22:30
a thing. You're just trying to
22:33
get it to rebrand. We called
22:35
it a thing. I understand there's
22:37
no, it's a perfectly good term.
22:39
It's a perfectly good term. There's no
22:41
reason to muck it up. The mirror
22:43
universe in the, anyway, that bothers me,
22:45
but I'm a nerd. It's fine. I
22:47
had to know what I was
22:49
going to say and I got
22:52
lost. We can get into this
22:54
movie now. Okay. So yeah, the
22:56
premise of this is that after
22:58
she executed. I'm trying to cut
23:00
the revenge movies. Hang on
23:03
real fast. So it's this one.
23:05
Uh-huh. Star Trek 1 through 3.
23:07
The J. Abrams movies. Yes. Because
23:10
that was Eric Banna. It was
23:12
Admiral Marcus. Marcus wasn't getting revenge.
23:14
Marcus wasn't getting revenge though, only
23:16
Benedict Cumberback went together. He was,
23:18
he was piloting a ship called
23:20
the U.S. as vengeance. He was
23:22
getting revenge. Yes, but not for
23:24
anything specific. It's only to kill
23:26
his daughter or anything. Yeah. But
23:28
then we go back to Nemesis
23:30
and then we go back to
23:32
F. Marie Abraham and insurrection. He's
23:34
getting revenge on the planet that
23:36
like Genesis and him and those
23:38
people are dying. Well that was
23:40
more about, uh, uh... Picard trying to rescue
23:42
the people. Yeah, but until the villain's motivation
23:44
was revenge. No, it wasn't revenge. He wanted
23:46
that fucking planet, he wanted to get them
23:49
off, he wanted to take everything they had.
23:51
Because his people were like thrown off of
23:53
that planet and then they were dying because
23:55
of it. So he's manipulating things to get
23:57
people off their planet. Wasn't quite the same thing.
24:00
But uh, but and then Picard
24:02
wanted revenge against the bork. Sure.
24:04
Yeah, so there you go. And then Malcolm
24:06
McDowell wanted revenge against the
24:08
giant negative space wedgy. No,
24:10
he wanted to get into
24:12
the giant negative space wedgy. His
24:14
emotions were complicated about it. It's
24:16
a love hate kind of thing.
24:18
He secretly hated the nexus. Yes.
24:20
Probably it's a problem that we
24:22
rely on super weapons and vengeance
24:24
These kind of action tropes when
24:26
we're making Star Trek movies because
24:28
copying wrath of con over and
24:31
over again At some point after
24:33
Star Trek six came out that
24:35
that's when sort of this fan
24:37
consensus started to gel that Star
24:39
Trek two the wrath of con
24:41
was the one It's like the
24:43
best one that everybody loved the most
24:45
and that an argument can be made
24:47
A lot of people do love the
24:50
movie. A lot of people do love
24:52
the movie. Yeah, it was a hit, so
24:54
keep on. But I feel like
24:56
Alex Kurtzman looked at Star Trek
24:58
and thought, I don't like that. I
25:00
want, and I've heard him talk about
25:02
Section 31 and interviews and he talks
25:05
about how, oh, you can't have a
25:07
utopia without violence. percolating underneath it. Then
25:09
it's a dystopian. Then it's not a
25:12
utopia. Yeah, then you've missed the point.
25:14
Yeah, completely. So I think he doesn't
25:16
understand or doesn't believe in the kind
25:18
of utopia that Star Trek ostensibly is
25:21
trying to argue for. Well, because I
25:23
would argue that in principle, like, you
25:25
know, a lot of things that happened
25:28
in Star Trek are we have ostensibly
25:30
utopia, but we have the constantly
25:32
keep fighting for it. Yeah. So
25:34
when things pop up, when an
25:37
admiral goes rogue, when an admiral
25:39
goes rogue, something. Petual existence of
25:41
Section 31 from like original series
25:43
timeline onward is a prolonged, you
25:46
know, black mark on the
25:48
permanent record. Yeah. So that
25:50
actually defies the Star Trek
25:53
premise. I can't imagine Roddenberry
25:55
being happy about it. No,
25:57
Roddenberry had to be. I'm
25:59
okay. that he was. And I'm
26:01
okay with it with the way it
26:03
was presented in Deep Space Nine because
26:06
it was seen it was constantly presented
26:08
repeatedly as as a black mark on
26:10
the Federation and how it needed to
26:12
be got rid of. Yeah. Alex Kurtzman
26:15
seems to think it's the bee's
26:17
knees. He really likes this idea.
26:19
So the idea is that Empress
26:22
Philippa Georgia went through
26:24
a time portal wound up
26:26
vaguely somewhere in the next
26:28
generation timeline. Sure. At least
26:30
I think like 20 years
26:32
before something like that because
26:34
there's a character who would
26:37
grow up to captain the
26:39
enterprise C. Yeah. Who would. in
26:41
turn like be thrown forward in
26:43
time. But it's at least a
26:45
few decades before. But yeah, she's
26:48
a younger woman in this story.
26:50
But she went back in time
26:52
and was recruited by Section 31
26:55
to do the Federation's dirty work.
26:57
First of all, I hate the
26:59
idea that the Federation has dirty
27:01
work. But yeah, because she was
27:04
a bloodthirsty cannibal tyrant, she's well
27:06
equipped to do work for the
27:08
Federation. Yeah, you know. It's operation
27:10
paper clip, but it's literally just
27:13
Hitler. Yeah. What the fuck
27:15
are we doing? Anyway. And
27:17
but it's Hitler, but Hitler
27:19
still gets to murder all
27:21
of the people he wants
27:23
for racist reasons and
27:25
eat them. Yeah, she doesn't really
27:28
do that as much now. She
27:30
eats an eyeball at the beginning
27:32
of this movie. That could have
27:34
been a replicated eyeball. And it's...
27:36
kind of implied that she does
27:38
this frequently so she's moved on
27:40
to this big floating space casino
27:42
essentially yeah with a bit of
27:44
nightclub of some kind she's Andy
27:46
Garcia and Oceans 11 at this
27:48
point yeah she just runs this
27:50
kind of night space nightclub outside
27:52
of Federation space and section 31
27:54
is caught up with her because
27:56
she was hiding out she was
27:58
living underneath an alias And they
28:00
say, hey, we need your help
28:02
with something. It turns out somebody
28:04
has a Nintendo Game Cube. Which,
28:06
it looks like a Nintendo Game
28:09
Cube, it even has a little
28:11
handle on it. And it's like
28:13
the Sullivanite bomb from Plan 9
28:15
from outer space. Yeah, you push
28:17
a whole galaxy. Yeah, you push
28:19
a button on it and it
28:21
destroys literally everything in the whole
28:23
universe. Yeah, you know, all those,
28:26
the good idea it is to
28:28
make one of those. Evidently she
28:30
had like a whole collection of
28:32
these things. And why did she
28:34
build them just in case? They
28:36
don't really say why. It was
28:38
basically like, you can't kill me
28:40
because if you kill me, everything
28:42
will blow up. Yeah. It was
28:45
her like attempt to like, you
28:47
know, tamp down a coup. But
28:49
basically. I would have loved to
28:51
know like, Star Trek usually at
28:53
least like. tries to wrap some
28:55
kind of techno-babble around its fantastical
28:57
technologies. This one is just... It
28:59
blows some shit out. And they
29:01
describe it as a super weapon.
29:04
Again, that's a screenwriting term. Anyway,
29:06
she's approached by Section 31. This
29:08
one very... Vague, uh, personality-free character,
29:10
played by Amari Hardwick. The character
29:12
is named Aylock, says, hey, we're
29:14
here to recruit you, and she's-
29:16
I'm a bad ass with the
29:18
past. I'm a bad ass with
29:20
the past, and I have grumble
29:23
grumble something. And she says, I
29:25
know, I knew you were here
29:27
because I recognized some quirks of
29:29
some people downstairs in my club
29:31
that clearly shows that they're with
29:33
you. And- Glasses, 10 o'clock. We
29:35
have the Sam Richard Karas character,
29:37
his name is Quasi, he's a
29:40
Cameloid, which is the same species
29:42
as Ammon's character from Star Trek,
29:44
Six. So he's a shape shifter.
29:46
Yeah. We have Zeph, who is
29:48
actually a microscopic super intelligent organism,
29:50
piloting a very of a Vulcan
29:52
looking Android suit. Yeah, but but
29:54
unlike Vulcan's who are who try
29:56
to... you know live by a
29:59
code of logic yeah he just
30:01
looks like a vocal and he's
30:03
highly emotional and very theatrical which
30:05
is kind of funny in premise
30:07
that's that's that's a play by
30:09
an actor named Robert Kaczynski there's
30:11
a Dalton which we haven't seen
30:13
I think Star Trek emotion picture
30:15
yeah maybe not and and deltons
30:18
are said to be very sexually
30:20
alluring to just about everybody yeah
30:22
versus combata play there in a
30:24
search emotion picture and they're they're
30:26
they're they're hairless human basically and
30:28
but yeah I'm around a delta
30:31
and you're like, I would
30:33
like to have sex with
30:35
them. And I find that
30:38
distracting. And that's basically their
30:40
whole thing. Yeah, that character
30:43
is named Mel, Emmy, L-L-E.
30:45
Okay. There's, um... Fuzz? Yeah,
30:48
fuzz. Wait, I thought Fuzz.
30:50
Oh no, Fuzz is the guy
30:52
in the suit. Fuzz is the
30:54
guy in the suit. There's the
30:56
meck guy. Zep is the guy.
30:59
Zep is the meck. He's the,
31:01
sorry, he's the meck guy. Yeah.
31:03
Who just has like a lot
31:06
of robotic stuff sticking out of
31:08
the body. Basically, he's in power
31:10
armor the whole time. And he's
31:13
a big tough guy. He's not
31:15
very smart. Roy Grock,
31:17
I'm sorry for pronouncing it
31:19
wrong. But the big connection
31:22
to previous track is the
31:25
final member of the crew.
31:27
Is Rachel Garrett, who... was in
31:29
the episode yesterday's enterprise of Next Generation. Yeah,
31:31
which is one of the best episodes in
31:33
Next Generation. Yeah, which is saying something. So
31:36
we got to meet this character Rachel Garrett
31:38
in Next Generation when she was already a
31:40
captain of the Enterprise scene. And did arguably
31:42
the most heroic thing anyone's ever done in
31:45
Star Trek. Yeah. And now she's played by
31:47
an actress named Casey Roll. She's a lot
31:49
younger. She's like 30 in this version. You
31:51
might remember her from Hannibal. Oh, I don't know.
31:53
Yeah, she was yeah, yeah, yeah, I
31:55
think she's really talented actor But so
31:58
I was excited so you're like oh
32:00
fun. Anyway, they get a message
32:02
from control who is Jamie Lee
32:04
Curtis. Yeah, we don't find that
32:06
out until later, but yeah. No, she gives
32:08
a voiceover. Well, I'm just saying if
32:10
you don't recognize her voice, you might
32:12
go. Pretty recognizable. She does appear on
32:14
camera. Well, she appears in like, as
32:16
a hologram, and I get the sense
32:18
that maybe she like as a hologram,
32:20
and I get the sense that maybe
32:22
she like filmed at her house. That's
32:25
very, we get, we get Jay Millie
32:27
Kurt, but we could get her for
32:29
10 minutes. Yeah, like, they said a
32:31
makeup person over, like put her in
32:33
the Star Trek, like, like, like, like,
32:35
like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
32:37
I'm an energy. Oh no, it's
32:39
okay, this is just like borderlands.
32:41
Oh shit, it actually kind of
32:43
is. Yeah. It's got a vibe.
32:46
It's got that Guardians of the
32:48
Galaxy. This idea of like morally
32:50
dubious... Humors and quotes characters who
32:53
are kind of irreverent don't take
32:55
their mission too seriously and kind
32:57
of grow together and learn to
32:59
work as a team by the
33:02
end of the movie. Oh my
33:04
god, it's kind of a cliche.
33:06
How will these people learn to
33:08
work together in order to say the
33:11
galaxy? It's a really old premise. I
33:13
compared this to the 1986 film eliminators,
33:15
if you remember that movie. Yeah. a
33:17
Mandroid, a Ninja, an Indiana Jones type
33:20
and they all time... And an R2D2
33:22
and a Denise Crosby. And Denise Crosby
33:24
and they all team up to stop
33:27
an evil time traveler. Yeah, that movie
33:29
kicks ass. It was made for like
33:31
a million dollars. It's a super cheap
33:33
movie, but they did a lot with
33:36
their budget and it has that kind
33:38
of... a kind of B movie earnestness that
33:40
makes it really enjoyable. Yeah, so I'm the
33:42
same guys who also wrote Arena, which was
33:44
basically Deep Space Nine, with some of the
33:47
cast of Deep Space Nine, but it was
33:49
like three or four of the Deep Space
33:51
Nine cast. But if it was like a
33:53
space boxing movie and that movie kicks ass,
33:55
and they also co-created the
33:57
live-action TV series of The Flash.
34:00
They had a good pulp vibe.
34:02
They knew what they were doing.
34:04
Yeah. There's no pulp vibe to
34:06
section 31. It felt it feels
34:08
really derivative and not of Star
34:10
Trek. It feels derivative of stuff
34:12
like suicide squad. Yeah. Where and
34:14
the David Ayer version of suicide
34:16
squad where everything's like really
34:18
hastily introduced. The characters aren't
34:20
really given a lot of
34:22
room to breathe or present
34:24
a lot of personality. And
34:26
when they do their like.
34:28
quips, they're like a reverence
34:30
of flippant attitude in the
34:33
face of danger, it's not
34:35
funny. It doesn't really come
34:37
across as like effervescent or enjoyable.
34:39
I feel like a lot of
34:41
the humor in this kind of
34:44
movie, whether it's done well or
34:46
not, is basically the idea of
34:49
the joke. Every quip tends to
34:51
be some sort of elaborate variation
34:53
of that just happened. Yeah, yeah,
34:56
it's... It always just feels like
34:58
filler, like we'll write a joke
35:00
later and then we never got
35:02
around to it. There's a bit
35:04
where Empress Georgio reveals that
35:06
her little game cube was
35:09
nicknamed Godsend. Yeah. just that was
35:11
her code name for it. Yeah. And
35:13
one character is a little baffled if
35:15
it's supposed to be pronounced God send
35:17
or God's end. Like God send one
35:19
word or God send two words with
35:21
an apostrophe. They devote seven or eight
35:24
lines of dialogue to this confusion. Yeah.
35:26
And it's not the least bit funny.
35:28
That's the level of work. But it's
35:30
important later. Is it? No. No. It's
35:32
not a step. It's not a
35:35
step for anything. It's just stuff
35:37
that happens. Yeah. And that's this
35:39
movie. It's just stuff that happens.
35:41
Yeah. The action is really kind
35:44
of blandly filmed. There's a bit
35:46
where two fighters activate some sort
35:48
of like cloaking mechanism. Well, it's
35:51
an intangibility mechanism. Yeah, where they
35:53
can run through walls, but when
35:55
they both have it active, they
35:57
can touch each other. Yeah. which
36:00
is a which is a neat idea. Especially
36:02
for a Kung Fu sequence when you got
36:04
Michelle Yo involved. And I, it's like, if
36:06
you look at like Valerian and City
36:08
with Thousand Planets, they have a whole
36:11
sequence which is a chase scene taking
36:13
place in two dimensions simultaneously that overlap
36:15
with each other. So clever. But you
36:17
have to like figure out the logistics of
36:19
that and also come up with all the
36:22
fun gags. Right. Not every movie does that.
36:24
Yeah, Valerian is in one dimension, but his
36:26
hand is stuck in this device that puts
36:29
it in the other dimension. So just to
36:31
figure out ways to sort of navigate both
36:33
spaces, even though he can't see one
36:35
of them. Yeah. But his partner can. Yeah,
36:37
it's really clever in the way they do
36:40
it in Valerian. This, there's no wits to
36:42
that fight. It's just kind of an
36:44
interesting way to add a little bit of
36:46
an effect to a Kung Fu sequence. Right.
36:49
And there's going to be a twist as
36:51
to who was behind it and who
36:53
wants this doomsday device and there's a
36:55
space hole that they want to escape
36:57
through back to the mirror universe.
36:59
Yeah, which would be bad. I guess so.
37:01
Yeah, we don't, that
37:03
would be bad. We
37:05
don't want to do
37:08
that. I'll go back
37:10
to what I asked
37:12
before. What does Alex
37:14
Kurtzman, who didn't write
37:16
this, but was a
37:18
producer on it, it
37:20
was directed by one
37:22
of the discovery regular
37:24
directors, his name is
37:26
Olatundo Osun-Sunmi. Osun Sanmi.
37:29
Yeah. Thanks or wants Star
37:31
Trek to be an action
37:34
franchise. He thinks it's about
37:36
the battles. Right. Now, Star
37:38
Trek ships aren't like Star
37:41
Wars ships. They don't zip
37:43
around and fly into... They're
37:45
not fighter jets. Yeah, yeah,
37:47
until you get to Picard.
37:49
But well, that's another issue.
37:51
That's what you're thinking about.
37:54
Star Trek. Well, then used
37:56
to be. In fact, if
37:58
you think about It was
38:00
a lot more important, I guess
38:02
so. But if you think back
38:04
to Star Trek too, if you
38:06
think back to Rathaf Khan, it
38:08
wasn't about two ships zipping around
38:10
shooting each other and like hitting
38:12
each other 50 times each. I was
38:14
a Master Commander Naval bat. Yeah,
38:16
they were very slow moving, they
38:18
could barely see each other, each other,
38:21
each hit changed the course of
38:23
the battle, and it was just
38:25
like one strike, yeah. And that's I
38:27
think that's way more exciting than a bunch
38:29
of ships flying around and a swarm and
38:31
a bunch of explosions. You know you reach
38:34
a you reach a point when you're creating
38:36
that kind of visual chaos where it's it
38:38
literally it's just stuff happening. Like you watch
38:40
like the opening space battle in Star Wars
38:42
episode three Where like the clone wars are
38:45
about to end like they be ended with
38:47
begun the clone wars have the next one
38:49
begins with over the clone wars are and
38:51
it's like why did Okay, I guess we'll
38:54
do a whole series someday. But yeah,
38:56
it's just, you can't tell who's
38:58
doing what, you can't tell
39:00
what's important, you can't tell
39:02
why anything is happening, but
39:04
you can tell stuff is happening,
39:06
that feels like a waste. Feels
39:09
like we could have conveyed something
39:11
and like made it clear what
39:13
was happening and what we should
39:16
care about. And sometimes filmmakers
39:18
forget to do that. You
39:21
don't think like this movie very
39:23
much? No, I really don't. This
39:25
is the least Star Trek that
39:27
Star Trek has ever been. You
39:29
said it's very pliable. This is
39:32
as far away from the core
39:34
principles of Star Trek. You could
39:36
change the name, like the names
39:38
of their species, and have a, you
39:40
would have the exact same kind
39:42
of straight to TV action-based sci-fi
39:44
original TV movie that... People would
39:47
tune to Star Trek to get
39:49
away from in the 1990s. Here's
39:51
here's I'm gonna here's gonna fight
39:53
you on that. This is an
39:55
observation again. No qualitative statements.
39:57
Star Trek has been not Star Trek before.
39:59
I think Star Trek people try to
40:02
force Star Trek to be something that
40:04
it's not every so often. I would
40:06
argue that the whole Kelvin verse. Well,
40:08
yeah, exactly. I would argue that the
40:10
tone that this movie strikes, whether you
40:13
like it or not, has way more
40:15
in common with Star Trek into darkness.
40:17
Yes. Then any other movie except maybe
40:19
nemesis. These are not the particularly beloved
40:21
movies in the franchise, by the way,
40:24
because they are outliers. They do have
40:26
a very, very different vibe. Yeah. Again,
40:28
you run into this thing where
40:30
a franchise goes on long, especially
40:33
when it has, as Star Trek
40:35
does, over 900 episodes, and that's
40:37
like counting books and comics.
40:40
Right. Everyone tries their hand
40:42
at it. Everyone tries to have
40:44
fun with it, and throughout the
40:46
decades, yeah, every, like they're
40:49
episodes of Star Trek Next
40:51
Generation, which are clearly trying
40:53
to like, evoke X files. Yeah,
40:55
because it was hot right now. There
40:57
was a there's an alien abduction episode,
40:59
which is weird and it was an
41:02
alien show. There's an episode of the
41:04
original series where like one of the
41:06
guest stars was like this famous lawyer
41:08
and nobody remembers anymore. Melibella. Yeah, these
41:10
are very specific timely signifiers that
41:12
then get that then get lost,
41:15
but Every single one of those could
41:17
have been someone's introduction to Star Trek and
41:19
every single person in the direction of Star
41:21
Trek Often sort of colors what they think
41:23
it is. It's like it's like your first
41:26
doctor like when you're watching doctor who Like
41:28
if your first doctor is David Tenet you
41:30
think that's what doctor who is if your
41:33
first doctor is In should he got well
41:35
you're you might think it's something else. You
41:37
know you can tell when the makers of
41:39
newer Star Trek like what kind of Star
41:42
Trek they were raised on yeah I can
41:44
tell that like Terry Matales who oversaw a
41:46
lot of Picard you can tell he was
41:48
fond of the next generation movies more than
41:51
he was of the show because he tried
41:53
to make his seasons more like Star Trek
41:55
movies and he seemed to incorporate a lot
41:58
more elements of the movies dramatically yeah He
42:00
even reused a lot
42:02
of like music cues
42:04
from specifically from the
42:07
movies in his new
42:09
season. Yeah, the second
42:11
season of Picard is basically,
42:14
hey, what if Borg Queen
42:16
but the voyage home? Yeah,
42:19
Borg Queen loose on earth
42:21
in the present day.
42:23
Yeah, and we're going to do
42:25
a lot of the gags from
42:27
a voyage home. Hmm. Oh no.
42:29
That would have been, that was
42:32
a done-in-one, maybe a two-parter. Oh
42:34
no. Oh man. I find it
42:36
curious that in the second season
42:39
of Picard they saw... They went
42:41
to an evil universe, kind of
42:43
like the mirror universe, where they're
42:45
going to execute the last Borg
42:48
and they're like, oh no, we
42:50
can't, we can't come at genocide
42:52
of the Borg. That's morally
42:54
wrong. We have to rescue
42:57
the Borg and actually go
42:59
back in time and prevent
43:01
Earth from becoming genocidal. And
43:03
then they genocide the Borg
43:05
in the next season. It's rough
43:08
lately. Section 31 is sort of
43:10
like it's like the last few kicks
43:12
of this glory period in in Star
43:14
Trek because they launched CBS all access
43:16
and then they started launch and to
43:18
get people in you know Star Trek
43:20
was the bigger lure it was like
43:22
the valuable property it's what they had
43:24
than no one else had exactly it's like you want to come
43:26
in you want to do Star Trek fine there was a brief
43:28
period where there were six Star Trek shows running simultaneously I mean
43:30
not, they were all in production somewhere, they weren't like airing new
43:32
episodes at the same time. Not on like the same day, but
43:35
yeah, they were airing in rapid succession. Like lower decks would end
43:37
and then we'd have a new season of discovery and then we'd
43:39
have a new season of Picard and there was all of these
43:41
shows that were still on the air, all in production, all at
43:43
the same time. There was discovery, there was Picard, there was strange
43:45
new worlds, there was prodigy, and there was short tracks, and there
43:47
was short tracks if you, if you want to if you want
43:49
to if you want to if you want to if you want
43:51
to count, if you want to count, if you want to count,
43:53
if you want to count, if you want to count, if you want to
43:56
count, if you want to count, if you want to count, if you want to count,
43:58
if you want to count, if you want to count, if you want to count, they
44:00
were trying to get it. Yeah,
44:02
they were trying to get Section
44:04
31 made. As of this recording,
44:07
now that Section 31 has aired,
44:09
only Strange New World is in
44:12
production, and they're starting pre-production on
44:14
a Star Fleet Academy show. There's
44:16
gonna be two. Which is also
44:19
a spin-off of Discovery. Yeah, and
44:21
there's about to be two. Kurtzman
44:24
clearly likes discovery. For not earning
44:26
its emotional catharsies. There's a few
44:28
moments. for characters will say I'm
44:30
so glad we're a family and I
44:32
can only think when did that happen.
44:34
There's no there's no bottle episodes where
44:36
characters kind of get to know each
44:39
other as friends. I would argue that
44:41
that's a slight exaggeration because I think
44:43
there definitely beats that do work but
44:45
it's for like the three characters that
44:47
get the most screen time. There's a
44:49
lot of like smaller characters. Michael Burnham,
44:51
Suru, still on the air, all in
44:53
production, all at the same time. There
44:55
was Discovery, there was Picard, there was
44:57
Lower Decks, there was Strange New World's,
44:59
there was Prodigy, and there was short
45:01
tracks if you want to count
45:03
that. And arguably Section 31 since
45:05
they were trying to get Section
45:07
31 made. As of this recording,
45:09
now that Section 31 has aired,
45:11
only Strange New World is in
45:13
production. Yeah, and there's about to
45:15
be two. Kurtzman clearly likes Discovery.
45:17
He likes the violence and the
45:19
overwrought emotions of Discovery. Discovery is
45:21
kind of notorious for not earning
45:23
its emotional catharsies. There's a few
45:25
moments where characters will say, I'm
45:27
so glad we're a family and
45:30
I can only think when did that
45:32
happen. There's no bottle episodes where characters
45:34
kind of get to know each other
45:36
as friends. I would argue that that's
45:38
a slight exaggeration because I think there
45:40
definitely beats that do work. but it's
45:42
for like the three characters you get
45:44
the most screen time. There's a lot
45:46
of like smaller characters. Michael Burnham-Saroo and
45:48
maybe the Stamets I guess. I think
45:50
Stamets is the other one, yeah. But
45:52
like, yeah, there's a lot of like,
45:54
like there was this one episode in
45:57
like the final season of discovery where
45:59
like the younger. character she's an
46:01
ensign, no sorry they're an ensign,
46:03
sorry they they then pronounce them
46:05
in the show as well. Oh you
46:07
mean blue, or not blue, or not blue,
46:10
no, not blue. Well there's a
46:12
character named blue in a character
46:14
named gray and I mixed them
46:16
all the time. I think it's
46:19
great and I think there's a
46:21
character named blue and a character
46:23
named gray and a character named
46:25
gray and a cybernetic implant and
46:27
I forget her name, like. Who
46:29
was that character again? Yeah. No, no,
46:32
I knew the character. You never talked
46:34
to her, you never even looked
46:36
at her, until this episode. And
46:38
we're supposed to suddenly be really
46:40
invested in that? They struggled with
46:42
that, but I would argue that
46:45
there's a lot of great bits
46:47
with Saru and I think there's
46:49
a lot of great bits with
46:51
Saru and there's a lot of
46:53
great bits with other, you know,
46:55
Antilly as well. I think there's
46:58
some definitely good, I'm good in
47:00
it. But I feel like Alex
47:02
Kurtzman... likes the idea of a
47:04
Star Trek show that is like freewheeling
47:06
and violent and doesn't have to address
47:08
sort of the ideas of Star Trek
47:11
that depict it as a world where
47:13
there isn't war and violence, where there
47:15
isn't some kind of violent conflicts that
47:17
can be solved with weapons. He's not
47:20
very fond of, like it wasn't until
47:22
like maybe the like halfway through the
47:24
third season that there was in even
47:26
an episode where they talked about diplomacy.
47:29
They just... It's like exaggeration, but I
47:31
will say I will say this I
47:33
feel like we talked about this a
47:35
lot on our the Star Trek podcast
47:37
we should move on to soon. When
47:39
Ronbury created the next, and one of
47:42
the rules that he had was there
47:44
would be no interpersonal conflict between members
47:46
of the crew. That to get along
47:48
and solve problems together well. Yes, now
47:50
that is a great utopian idea, it
47:52
sounds like a wonderful workplace, and the
47:54
writer's room had no fucking idea how
47:57
to do that, that is the antithesis
47:59
of all... any writing advice you'd get in
48:01
any, in any class, any work. They were
48:03
only used to, the only way they could
48:05
come up with story was to generate drama,
48:07
and the best way to generate drama, was
48:09
into personal conflict. This is one of the
48:12
reasons why. It's like one of the basic
48:14
tenets of like screenwriting, and when Gene Roddbury
48:16
says don't do that, they just started tearing
48:18
there. And I actually think that was a
48:20
bold choice on Roddenberry part, and I think
48:22
there is a lot, that that tenant that
48:24
tenant that all. writing, all drama must
48:26
have conflict between the characters is...
48:28
It can feel really contrived too.
48:30
Well, it can feel really contrived
48:32
and I think there's negative consequences
48:34
to that. Think about every sitcom
48:36
you've ever seen between people who
48:38
are married and... It seems like
48:40
they fucking hate each other. Yeah,
48:42
like they're constantly bickering, they're rolling
48:45
their eyes, one of these days,
48:47
Alice to the moon, like because
48:49
like, oh, these are our main
48:51
characters, they have to have conflicts.
48:53
They're married. Does no one have
48:55
a positive marriage in a sitcom? I
48:57
know there are a few exceptions, but it's
48:59
rare is my point. So having the best
49:01
couple on in classic TV. Is Gomez and
49:03
Morticia Adams. Yes, they really into each
49:06
other and that fuels the story. You
49:08
can do that. They're a unit. They're
49:10
not divided. They're together and
49:13
they're solving problems together in
49:15
a very Adams family way
49:17
and the crew of the
49:20
enterprise solved their problems
49:22
in a very Star Trekky way.
49:24
My point is this. There were
49:27
always writers who bristled at that
49:29
and as Rod and after Rod
49:31
and very passed away they started
49:34
like sort of you know kind
49:36
of kind of pulling at that
49:38
a section 31. and some of
49:40
the other stuff that's come out
49:42
lately, is basically like, fuck that.
49:44
And that's why some of it
49:46
doesn't feel very star-track-y. Because it's
49:49
just any movie now. Yeah, it
49:51
doesn't feel like Star Trek. There's
49:53
no notion that there's even like
49:55
a Federation out there, or that
49:57
there's a star fleet in operation.
50:00
One character says they're in Star
50:02
Fleet multiple times. Rachel Garrett says
50:04
she's in Star Fleet and she
50:06
says, I'm here to make sure
50:08
you don't kill anybody, but she
50:11
doesn't say, you know. She's under
50:13
cover. I suppose so, but. Okay, don't
50:15
make a Rachel Garrett. Don't mention
50:17
Star Fleet. Yeah. The story
50:19
wouldn't change at all. But then
50:22
I wouldn't have Rachel Garrett. Fine.
50:24
Yeah. I will say that. I'm
50:26
a colored. Jennifer McGillicuddy and it's
50:28
going to have the same effect.
50:30
Just say I'm from the Alliance.
50:32
There's been a lot of Federation-like
50:34
concepts throughout a lot of science
50:37
fiction since Star Trek. Just have
50:39
it be a bit of a
50:41
knockoff and boom, you just have
50:43
a sci-fi channel original movie. A
50:46
failed pilot that was turned into
50:48
a TV movie. Yeah. And is all-time
50:50
or used to. And yeah, it doesn't
50:52
have to be Star Trek for any
50:54
of that to function. It doesn't have
50:57
any of the concepts about Star Trek
50:59
that make it Star Trek. It's all
51:01
about interpersonal kind of thing. And it's
51:03
all about fighting for a means. It's
51:05
all about blowing up a bad time.
51:07
And again, setting aside that it's not
51:09
like Star Trek, which some people is
51:12
a plus, not everyone's into
51:14
Star Trek. You're also arguing that it's
51:16
just not very good German characters. Yeah.
51:18
Like look at something like Guardians of
51:21
the Galaxy. Yeah. That of course I
51:23
think was sort of bolstered by its
51:25
connection to like the Marvel universe. Of
51:27
course. Yeah. People wouldn't have seen that
51:30
if it was original characters. Probably not.
51:32
Yeah, that's pretty bad. Yeah, I think
51:34
people flocked to it and they realized
51:37
sort of how kind of lightweight and
51:39
charming it was these kind of weird
51:41
ragtag characters. Yeah. Because they were sort
51:43
of given the connection to Marvel. And
51:46
they were distinctly drawn as well. Yeah, but I
51:48
was going to say, I think an advantage, something
51:50
like our game, the Galaxy have, and I like
51:52
that movie, okay. I'm not a huge fan like
51:54
some people, but I think that first one's really
51:57
great, yeah. But I feel like each character was
51:59
uniquely drawn. It was. given each character was
52:01
given a little bit of personality
52:03
and a little bit of backstory
52:05
throughout the film so we knew
52:07
like a little bit about them
52:10
we got to know how those
52:12
characters interacted with one another that
52:14
they were a little bit antagonistic
52:16
but realized that they had a bigger thing
52:18
that they had to fight for there was
52:20
a little bit of heart to that movie
52:23
a little bit of emotional connection I've heard
52:25
that some people say they even cry during
52:27
that film and like yeah they die for
52:29
like a purpose. Yeah and they say something
52:32
very very sweet and it's like oh man.
52:34
It is about a doomsday weapon. It is
52:36
about a generic villain who wants a doomsday
52:38
weapon. The plot is not interesting. No. But
52:41
the characters have enough charm and the dialogue
52:43
has enough wit that a lot of people
52:45
are drawn to something like that. Sure. Okay.
52:47
You have the same generic story in
52:49
section 31, but there is no charm
52:52
and there is no wit and there's
52:54
no cleverness to it. The filmmaking is
52:56
very flat and bland. The settings are
52:59
all very generic. The characters are kind
53:01
of generic. I like the idea of
53:03
a microscopic organism piloting a man suit,
53:06
but they don't. That's a neat idea.
53:08
It's a neat idea, but they don't
53:10
do enough with it. I do think
53:13
that at the very least they do
53:15
take pains to make sure the characters
53:17
are distinguishable from one another.
53:19
Yeah. Whether or not they're
53:22
well-lushed out as a matter
53:24
of debate, but they're broad,
53:26
but they're broad, but they're
53:29
broad, but they look different
53:31
from each other. Yeah. Straight-laced
53:33
Bureaucrat. Space, Space Cannibal Hitler.
53:35
Space Cannibal Hitler is a
53:37
leader. Yeah. I don't like that
53:40
sentence at all. I don't like
53:42
the bets out there in
53:44
the either. And it's Star Trek
53:47
for God's saying. Imagine if
53:49
Emperor Palpatine joined a ragtag band
53:51
of misfits. Oh, some people would
53:53
love that. Some people let's
53:55
everything they've ever wanted. Oh, see,
53:58
Palpatine's not so bad. come
54:00
up with some kind of like rooting
54:02
interest and all of a sudden venom
54:04
is a hero. Yeah she's a fun
54:06
villain character. Anyway we've spent a lot
54:08
of time on Star Trek because one
54:10
last little thing because I know some
54:12
people are listening to this who are
54:14
who do listen to our all our
54:16
yesterday's Star Trek podcast. There is one
54:19
bit like one sort of thing at
54:21
the end of this movie that would
54:23
have clearly been the next episode or
54:25
the next season. It's like the story
54:27
we'll continue. And it's basically
54:29
a pitch I've been making on all
54:31
of yesterday's for a long-ass time. Like,
54:33
I really wish they would do this
54:35
or they would make this movie or
54:37
make this show. And it's at the
54:39
end of this. And I'm like, oh,
54:41
but you're not going to do any
54:44
more. That's what I wanted. I want
54:46
that bit. That's the cool bit. Why
54:48
didn't we start there? Damn it. And
54:50
no one never get it. Gar. Anyway,
54:52
that's all set. What's your move on?
54:54
The other big movie that we saw,
54:56
that we both saw this week, and
54:58
I can actually talk whether, I
55:00
like this one, is an animated
55:02
movie called Dogman, which is not
55:05
related to Wolfman. No. Which is
55:07
a little confusing. Dogman in January.
55:09
I don't know why we
55:11
need to do that. Dogman
55:13
is an adjunct of Captain
55:16
Underpants by author Daf Pilke, or
55:18
I guess Dave Pilke. The captain
55:20
meet Captain Underpants? Well, the main
55:22
characters from Captain Underpants, George Beard
55:24
and Harold Hutchins, are they draw
55:26
comics. That's what they do in
55:28
their spare time. And they draw
55:30
comics starring Captain Underpants, but they
55:32
also live in a world where
55:34
they've created Captain Underpants based on
55:36
their own comics. Yeah. And at
55:38
the end of the final Captain
55:40
Underpants book, they say, I don't
55:42
want to do another Captain Underpants
55:44
story, let's do a dogman comic.
55:46
And the dogman books are ostensibly
55:49
the comics written and drawn by
55:51
George and Harold. Okay, so this
55:53
movie is the story that the
55:55
characters and the cat down in
55:58
the pants movie wrote and made.
56:00
Exactly, and that explains why the aesthetic
56:02
of the dog man movie is,
56:04
looks like children's drawings. Like
56:06
the cops have a, or spelled COPZ
56:08
on like their stuff. Everything looks
56:10
like they're made of crayons. Everything's kind
56:12
of scribbled in. Even the characters
56:14
have kind of a drawing look to
56:16
them. Like big thick lines and
56:18
simple facial expressions. It's the same creative
56:20
conceit that follows the Lego movies
56:23
because you watch a Lego movie and
56:25
it's like, oh yeah, it's pretty
56:27
much all from the respect of this
56:29
kid who's playing with his Legos.
56:31
And then you watch the Lego Batman
56:33
movie and it's still that same kid.
56:35
Yeah. Because everything is consistent. I interviewed
56:37
the filmmakers and they're like, yeah, no,
56:39
it's some of them the same kid.
56:41
All those movies are played from the
56:43
same point. So a lot of the
56:45
story and the pacing of dog man
56:48
is really frantic and it kind of
56:50
goes to weird places. It has like
56:52
a little kid sense of humor because
56:54
it's being, you can tell it's being
56:56
created by kids. By kids, four kids.
56:58
Yeah. No, they're not trying to like write
57:00
more mature than their years. No, no,
57:02
no. Yeah, the premise of dog man is
57:04
that there is a big metropolitan city
57:06
and there are two hero cops at the
57:09
beginning of it. There's a dude cop
57:11
and his partner who's a dog. Yeah.
57:13
At the beginning of the movie, they're
57:15
fighting, what's the name of the cat again?
57:17
Petey. Petey, the most evil cat in the world.
57:19
He's their Lex Luthor nemesis. Always
57:21
doing evil things. They're
57:24
gonna car chase with them and it
57:26
all leads to they're at the top
57:29
of an abandoned warehouse building and there's
57:31
a bomb and they have to defuse the bomb and
57:33
they, boy do
57:36
they screw that up. And when
57:38
they get to the hospital.
57:40
The cop's head is damaged beyond
57:42
repair. Yeah, and so is
57:44
the dog's body. body is damaged
57:46
beyond repair. is actually kind
57:48
of morbid as a start to
57:50
a kid's story because what
57:52
they say is, listen, your head
57:54
is useless and your body
57:56
is useless so we're gonna sew
57:58
the dog's head onto the
58:00
guy's body. So the guy did
58:02
die. This is just the
58:04
dog where we're dealing with now.
58:06
which is, which is, and it's, it's very, like, four things
58:08
in a way. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
58:10
it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
58:12
it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, and, like,
58:14
like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
58:16
it's, it's, it's moved out, and,
58:18
and, and, and, and, and, and,
58:20
and, and, he's, he's, and, he's,
58:22
he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, and,
58:24
he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's,
58:26
he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's,
58:28
he's, and No! No wonder it's
58:30
almost up. So in order to
58:33
understand Dogman, you have to see
58:35
the Joel Kinnaman version
58:37
of Robocomp. Sorry. That's not
58:39
recommended. Dogman is better than
58:42
the Joel Kinnim. Well that's
58:44
true. It's also better than Robocop
58:46
3. 3. I'll defend Robocop too to
58:48
the end. Robocop too is very fun.
58:51
Robocop is very fun. Robocop to show
58:53
up in a 90 minute movie. It's
58:55
got like the most disinterested Nancy Allen
58:57
has ever been in anything in her
59:00
life. It's been a flock. It's been
59:02
a while since I've seen it, but
59:04
I remember liking how flocky it was.
59:06
It does not work. I'll defend Robocop
59:09
too to do it's very fun. Robocop
59:11
3 is such. crap. They're trying to
59:13
make it like for they're trying to
59:16
make it for kids basically. But if
59:18
you read the original dogman books, which
59:20
I have because I have a child,
59:22
this is all this is all alien
59:24
to me. I don't know. There's actually
59:26
this weird, um, very emotionally
59:28
disarming elements to the dogman
59:30
books because they start to
59:32
take on some pretty serious issues. Uh,
59:35
the cat Pete clones himself and has
59:37
little Pee. Who is his is mini
59:39
me basically a mini is like I
59:41
need a partner who it thinks exactly
59:44
like me, but he clones Clones himself
59:46
and gets a child out of it. Yeah,
59:48
it's not like it's not like an exact
59:50
copy of himself now And so at first
59:52
he's like oh no, what do I do
59:54
with this clone that's a young child as
59:56
it turns out Lil Petey doesn't have
59:58
the same propensity for wickedness. In
1:00:00
fact, he's quite the opposite. Well, he
1:00:03
hasn't gone through the hardship that Petey
1:00:05
went through that made him like cynical
1:00:07
and and and. But a big part
1:00:09
of this movie and a big part
1:00:12
of the dogman books is exploring why
1:00:14
Petey became evil and actually the hardships
1:00:16
he did go through and how he
1:00:19
came to lose hope and humanity and
1:00:21
how having a child is forcing him
1:00:23
to reckon with his own cynicism and
1:00:25
how he can't. Even though he
1:00:28
is still cynical, he doesn't
1:00:30
necessarily want to pass that
1:00:32
on to his own son.
1:00:34
Yeah. There's a robot they
1:00:37
build called 80. 80 HD.
1:00:39
80. The number 80. 80.
1:00:41
80. HD. Okay. But it's
1:00:43
meant to sound like ADHD,
1:00:45
which Daph Pilke has been
1:00:47
diagnosed. Sure. So we're trying
1:00:49
to get into sort of
1:00:51
the reason why people behave
1:00:53
they way the way they way they
1:00:55
do. and the relationships they have and
1:00:58
how the kind of mark they're trying
1:01:00
to leave on the world and how
1:01:02
it's going to be ultimately very positive
1:01:04
and very peaceful so there's a lot
1:01:06
of like complex emotions going on. Yeah
1:01:08
I was surprised at how I think
1:01:10
the whole second half of this movie
1:01:12
yeah until it turns into like action
1:01:14
may have it. It gets mad cap
1:01:16
at the end yeah. There's a giving
1:01:18
life spray. Yeah. There's an evil fish,
1:01:20
evil psychic fish that brings buildings to
1:01:22
life. And all of that's pretty fun.
1:01:24
I liked the living buildings. Yeah, the
1:01:26
living buildings are, there's this one joke,
1:01:28
because a lot of buildings come to
1:01:31
life and start walking around. And that's
1:01:33
like high joon, and they got big
1:01:35
eyes. And then like cuts to like
1:01:37
some people like in the park, say,
1:01:39
hey, I can see my house from
1:01:42
here and the house like waves at
1:01:44
them, like waves at them. I did
1:01:46
not need Rickie Jervais in this movie.
1:01:48
Yeah, I didn't need that. And when
1:01:51
Rickie Jervais is making a point about
1:01:53
how like, oh, actually we all need
1:01:55
to love each other and not be
1:01:57
mean. And I'm like, really Rick. his
1:02:00
whole comedy business predicated on being mean
1:02:02
and then he's also mean in real
1:02:04
life well and he's and he's also
1:02:06
said some really terrible things about trans
1:02:08
people and people like him and Dave
1:02:11
Chappelle and and normalizing that discourse is
1:02:13
not an insignificant part of why we
1:02:15
are here now yeah and so I'm
1:02:17
so mad at him for that's that's
1:02:19
a bit of a black mark I
1:02:21
will say I love the Captain Underpants
1:02:23
movie Yeah. I think that's a brilliant
1:02:26
movie. I don't know the books. I
1:02:28
think it's a wonderful movie. It's beautifully
1:02:30
animated. It's got a funny story. It's
1:02:32
an ode to an imagination. I think
1:02:34
it's the closest we'll ever get to
1:02:36
a Calvin in the Hobbs film. Yeah,
1:02:39
well, and you could say that about,
1:02:41
I'm sure to have Pilky write Calvin
1:02:43
and Hobbs. I mean, he looks like
1:02:45
Hobbs. That feels like that's probably at
1:02:47
least somewhat intentional. I'm less
1:02:49
high on dog man. Well Dogman
1:02:52
is clearly courting a bit of
1:02:54
a younger audience. Yeah, but Captain
1:02:56
Underpants celebrates a certain kind of
1:02:58
potty humor and understands the way
1:03:00
certain kids have friendships and the
1:03:03
way they can be on each
1:03:05
other's wavelength. Yeah. And also it
1:03:07
has things we can really relate
1:03:09
to going to school for instance
1:03:11
or having a mean principal or
1:03:13
you know your interest drawing comics
1:03:15
because it's about the kids. a
1:03:18
man with a dog for a
1:03:20
head or a dog with a
1:03:22
man for a mom. Who's a
1:03:24
cop? There's also a cop. Yeah,
1:03:26
it's good. It's a propaganda movie.
1:03:28
So it's also some people are
1:03:30
going to be like, I don't
1:03:32
want to see a kid's copaganda
1:03:35
movie. And I'm like, I actually
1:03:37
get it. I do. I actually get
1:03:39
it. I do. This is pretty harmless.
1:03:41
I actually get it. I do. I
1:03:43
do. I actually get it. I do.
1:03:46
I do. I actually get it. I
1:03:48
do. I actually thought it kind of lost
1:03:50
steam a bit in the middle. When it starts
1:03:52
focusing on P.D. and Lil P. Yeah, which
1:03:54
is fine, by the way, but it just
1:03:56
like everything, it started off at kind of
1:03:59
a mad cap page. And then it
1:04:01
just, it just, it just kind
1:04:03
of, I'm not saying it's bad,
1:04:05
but pacing-wise it really does sag
1:04:07
at that point. There's nothing really
1:04:09
pushing it forward for a while.
1:04:12
We're kind of ahead of it.
1:04:14
There's a bit of a mistaken
1:04:16
identity thing where Dogman meets Little
1:04:18
Petey and doesn't make the
1:04:20
connection, you know, and that's a
1:04:22
whole thing. But like, yeah, the movie,
1:04:25
the story kind of stops for that,
1:04:27
and I feel like, it might have been...
1:04:29
I think it might have been more effective
1:04:31
in terms of just pacing to keep a little
1:04:33
of that energy going in the middle, because it
1:04:35
really does feel kind of saps, like it kind
1:04:37
of had a sugar crash. And then it, you
1:04:40
know, then it has another snickers right at the
1:04:42
end. It's like, oh right, but let me build
1:04:44
it. Like, which is not the end of the world.
1:04:46
But I did find my interest waning
1:04:48
a bit, even though emotionally I was
1:04:51
more involved in the middle. But I
1:04:53
was just laughing less. I was a
1:04:55
little less, though entertained. I was just
1:04:57
sort of, it worked, but I think
1:04:59
it was not as carefully modulated as
1:05:02
the Captain Underpants movie in terms of
1:05:04
balancing all of its factors throughout the
1:05:06
entire movie. It felt like sometimes it
1:05:08
just gave... Okay, well, you know, all
1:05:11
the fun dogman stuff, we're not going
1:05:13
to do that for 30 minutes. And
1:05:15
then we're just going to do this, and
1:05:17
this is fine too. But if you like
1:05:20
that stuff, you might get a little bored
1:05:22
in the middle here. What I appreciate about
1:05:24
that kind of structure, that kind of the
1:05:26
way this movie is paced, is it did
1:05:28
remind, maybe this is just a personal
1:05:30
thing, because I also wrote stories into your
1:05:32
comics when I was a kid. How sometimes you
1:05:35
get so involved with the story that you actually
1:05:37
lose sight of the action that drew into the
1:05:39
story to begin with I'm gonna do this funny
1:05:41
thing about a man with a dog for doghead.
1:05:44
Yeah, and he's a cop It's a very axe
1:05:46
cop in a way like yeah, but I'm kind
1:05:48
of kind of making this up, but then you
1:05:50
realize wait a minute I'm gonna start getting into
1:05:53
the detail about the side character and then all
1:05:55
of a sudden you realize you wrote 30 pages
1:05:57
about the side character and you completely forgot the
1:05:59
original The premise, how bad. So
1:06:01
it's Tristram Shandy for kids. Yeah,
1:06:04
it has, well, I mean, that's
1:06:06
the, I think that's the way
1:06:08
kids think is a little bit
1:06:10
more Tristram Shandy-ish. Yeah, little. And
1:06:12
kids love that book. Little Lawrence
1:06:14
Stearns at heart. Kids love that
1:06:17
book. Kids love that book. If
1:06:19
you bring up Tristram Shandy, I
1:06:21
know you have. Yeah, when you were
1:06:23
five. You love there. It was your
1:06:25
favorite thing. 25, but yeah. Okay, so there were 20 of you and
1:06:27
when you were five you I recommend Tristram Cheney's very I know you do
1:06:30
and I like dogman I don't love dogman, but I like dogman. It's very
1:06:32
sweet. It had some really it has had jokes in it I agree with
1:06:34
you that it doesn't have the the solid foundation of something like Captain Underpants.
1:06:36
Yeah, but it does have it has it has heart. That's a thing. I
1:06:38
was it sounds kind of corny to say like it's like it's kind of
1:06:40
corny to say like it's like it's kind of corny to say like it's like it's
1:06:42
kind of corny to say like it's like it's kind of corny to say like
1:06:44
it's like it's kind of corny to say like it's like it's kind of corny
1:06:46
to say like it's like it's kind of corny to like it's got a like
1:06:48
it's kind of corny to like it's got a lot of corny to like it's
1:06:50
got a lot of But it does, it's
1:06:52
a very tender and sincere
1:06:55
story about relationships and loneliness
1:06:57
and the types of experiences that make
1:06:59
us who we are and the types
1:07:01
of experience that are capable
1:07:04
of changing us. And they're not
1:07:06
always easy and they sometimes involve
1:07:08
a lot of backsliding. And I
1:07:10
think the movie is surprisingly
1:07:12
mature and empathetic about stuff
1:07:14
like that. And ultimately, I
1:07:16
think even though, you know, the
1:07:19
funny, silly... you know, nonsense is
1:07:21
more objectively, not objectively, it's a
1:07:23
terrible word to use in criticism,
1:07:25
but it is more superficially entertaining,
1:07:27
you know, like on the surface.
1:07:29
That got, the part that I'm going to
1:07:31
stick, that's going to stick with me
1:07:33
is the emotional journey of PD and
1:07:35
little PD. That's what's gonna connect, but I
1:07:37
wasn't as entertained as I was by the
1:07:40
company. So it's just it's just the balancing
1:07:42
act wasn't perfect But it's really cute Okay,
1:07:44
we got three more movies here. I saw
1:07:46
two and you saw one Oh, tell me
1:07:48
about the one you saw okay. Well, I'm
1:07:51
gonna start with companion and we do a thing
1:07:53
here And I don't know how many people
1:07:55
care about this, but every time of like
1:07:57
not done it someone has said please bring
1:07:59
it back Okay. But when we put
1:08:01
our descriptions of the movie, of the
1:08:03
podcast, sorry, in the feed, we include
1:08:06
time codes for each review. This gets
1:08:08
kind of not a kimbo a little bit
1:08:10
because on the main feed we have
1:08:12
commercials and that can kind of like
1:08:14
push things off the time code a
1:08:16
little bit. But it's, you know, close
1:08:18
and it's close. Like you might be
1:08:21
a minute off by this point in
1:08:23
the episode if you're listening on the
1:08:25
main feed and not on patron. We
1:08:27
can listen for free commercials for free
1:08:29
commercials. So I'm going to tell you
1:08:31
this right now. Companion, it's
1:08:34
a new horror comedy, is the
1:08:36
kind of movie that I'm very
1:08:38
glad I saw without seeing
1:08:40
any of the marketing. Okay. Because
1:08:43
it's one of those movies where it's
1:08:45
like kind of like Abigail. The marketing
1:08:47
gives away something that's probably supposed to
1:08:50
be revealed around like minute 35. And
1:08:52
the whole first act is better if
1:08:54
you don't know it. Yeah. At least
1:08:56
the first time. And I think that
1:08:58
I find that deeply annoying. I've talked
1:09:01
about it a lot. I call it
1:09:03
Red Eye Syndrome. Where it's just you
1:09:05
put a twist too early in the
1:09:07
movie and you can't market it without
1:09:10
ruining that twist. If you don't
1:09:12
know anything about companion, you
1:09:14
can go right on ahead and skip
1:09:16
to the next review. I would
1:09:18
like to save this for you
1:09:20
because I had a delightful time
1:09:22
discovering this movie as it unfolded.
1:09:25
I think it is just wickedly
1:09:27
funny, very clever, does a few
1:09:29
things, familiar things in an unfamiliar
1:09:31
way. You can you can applaud
1:09:33
and many other things as well.
1:09:35
He's in a few other things.
1:09:38
He's he's going through a rather
1:09:40
prolific phase. Yeah, he's Superman on
1:09:42
my and my adventures with Superman,
1:09:44
which is a really good show.
1:09:46
He's got another like action comedy
1:09:49
coming out like next month called
1:09:51
Novocaine. He was in Scream,
1:09:53
Scream, technically Scream Five, but
1:09:56
they called it Scream. He's
1:09:58
really, really talented. I think
1:10:00
he's really really great. He's Dennis
1:10:02
Quaid and Meg Ryan's son and
1:10:04
he looks it. It looks like
1:10:06
they put those two in a
1:10:08
blender. We don't have to be
1:10:10
coy about that fact. It's pretty
1:10:12
clear. It's very very clear. He
1:10:15
looks like if you combined, if
1:10:17
you told a machine, could you
1:10:19
combine Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan,
1:10:21
you would get check with. It's
1:10:23
kind of perfect. Anyway, he plays
1:10:25
the boyfriend of a girl played
1:10:27
by Sophie Thatcher. Sophie Thatcher is
1:10:29
obviously she's very beautiful but she's
1:10:31
also very devoted to her boyfriend.
1:10:33
She loves her boyfriend very very
1:10:35
much and they're off on a
1:10:37
trip to visit some friends who
1:10:40
are hanging out at kind of
1:10:42
an isolated estate that one of
1:10:44
their rich boyfriend sounds out in
1:10:46
the middle of the middle of
1:10:48
nowhere in the woods where it's
1:10:50
one of those. And throughout the
1:10:52
first act we're meeting These two
1:10:54
characters are getting to know them
1:10:56
better. We're seeing Jack Quaid has
1:10:58
a friend, possibly an ex, who
1:11:00
Sophie Thatcher is very jealous of.
1:11:02
Okay. There's a gay couple that
1:11:05
they're with, too, who it's unclear
1:11:07
exactly how they're going to fit
1:11:09
into the narrative for a while,
1:11:11
but they're there. Jack Quaid's friend
1:11:13
slash possible ex has a boyfriend
1:11:15
who is a married Russian millionaire,
1:11:17
and we don't know how he
1:11:19
got his money, but we do
1:11:21
know he got it the dirty
1:11:23
way. That
1:11:26
the at some point Something happens
1:11:28
and Sophie Thatcher is put in
1:11:30
a position where she has to
1:11:32
defend herself and she physically physically,
1:11:34
okay, and she ends up. I'm
1:11:36
gonna take it to the first
1:11:38
plot point She ends up killing
1:11:40
the Russian guy. Oh God. Okay.
1:11:42
And everyone's like oh shit. Oh
1:11:44
my god. What are we gonna
1:11:46
do? Oh this this wasn't supposed
1:11:48
to happen. Oh man. And then
1:11:50
Jack Waits just says go to
1:11:52
sleep and then Sophie Thatcher turns
1:11:54
off As you wakes up and
1:11:56
it turns out she's a sex
1:11:58
pot. Okay. This is a somewhat
1:12:00
common piece of technology. People are
1:12:02
aware of this. It's not like
1:12:04
something only he has. It's a
1:12:06
little high-end. There's even a joke
1:12:08
later on where he's just like,
1:12:10
yeah, I don't even own you.
1:12:12
I rent you. Oh, wow. Okay.
1:12:14
He doesn't. But yeah, so she
1:12:16
something happened and she broke three
1:12:18
of her programming that Isaac Asimov
1:12:20
not supposed to harm a human.
1:12:23
And I'm not going to tell
1:12:25
you anything more because there's more
1:12:27
questions. Is she conscious? Well, that's
1:12:29
the question, isn't it? How conscious
1:12:31
is she? And what becomes clear
1:12:33
over the course of it is
1:12:35
that she is a complicated enough
1:12:37
like robot companion artificial intelligence or
1:12:39
whatever, that at the very least
1:12:41
there's a chance there's burgeoning consciousness.
1:12:43
She ends up going on the
1:12:45
run because she's worried they're going
1:12:47
to deactivate her. Okay. So she
1:12:49
is conscious. She is conscious. And
1:12:51
then, again, there's a question of
1:12:53
how much of it is her
1:12:55
programming, how much of it is,
1:12:57
what might have been done to
1:12:59
her programming. These are questions the
1:13:01
movie asks, and I think answers,
1:13:03
but I don't want to give
1:13:05
you all the answers. There's some
1:13:07
really fun really fun bits where
1:13:09
she's able to like steal Jack
1:13:11
Quaid's remote control Oh for her
1:13:13
for her okay give herself new
1:13:15
accents and things and then she
1:13:17
looks at like the intelligence meter
1:13:19
and he's got it at like
1:13:21
40 and she's like Oh, come
1:13:23
on. And so she scoots that
1:13:25
right up to 100 which is
1:13:27
a really clever bit. But yeah,
1:13:29
so it turns out there's there's
1:13:32
intrigue whatever and we it's all
1:13:34
elaborate metaphor for Men's control of
1:13:36
women. Men's control of women. Men's
1:13:38
control of women. Basically control of
1:13:40
anyone in a romantic situation. There
1:13:42
are some parallels with the gay
1:13:44
couple as well that, you know,
1:13:46
raise questions outside of the gender
1:13:48
aspect of it, but it's definitely
1:13:50
about that too. This is from,
1:13:52
I think it's produced by the
1:13:54
director of Barbarian, another movie which,
1:13:56
you know, relied a lot on
1:13:58
twists and just people acting off.
1:14:00
That's kind of the meat and
1:14:02
potatoes of it. One of the
1:14:04
main characters of that movie is
1:14:06
a complete scoundrel. Yes, it's an
1:14:08
absolutely terrible human being. And we're
1:14:10
going to get some of those in
1:14:12
here too. I appreciate the gut punch that
1:14:15
barbarian is. I actually don't think
1:14:17
it's a great movie. I find it
1:14:19
frustrating. I think there's great bits
1:14:21
in it, but I actually think
1:14:23
ultimately... It is weirdly structured. It's
1:14:25
weirdly structured, but more than that,
1:14:27
it feels like the things that
1:14:29
it finds horrifying are kind of
1:14:32
off, like kind of a skew
1:14:34
from the movie's moral compass. Like
1:14:36
it's basically saying like, you know
1:14:38
who's like the worst monster in
1:14:41
all of this? this victim. And
1:14:43
I'm like, that's weird. And I
1:14:45
feel like you're not really engaging
1:14:47
with that question. Companion engages with
1:14:49
these questions. And I think ultimately
1:14:52
emerges, I think it asks. more salient
1:14:54
questions and actually delves into them
1:14:56
more interestingly, while also being really
1:14:58
fucking funny. I left my ass
1:15:01
off at this movie without ever
1:15:03
losing the sense of suspense. There
1:15:06
really is this sense that, you
1:15:08
know, it's one of those movies
1:15:10
where one bad thing happens and
1:15:12
then everything gets worse and worse
1:15:14
and worse and worse. How else
1:15:16
can this day go wrong? And
1:15:18
as that keeps happening, the new
1:15:20
starts tightening, more bodies start piling
1:15:22
up, and there really is a
1:15:25
genuine sense of suspense and a
1:15:27
genuine wonder of how is anyone
1:15:29
getting out of this? Because we're kind
1:15:31
of fucked here, like this is a
1:15:33
bad situation. It's just really cleverly written,
1:15:35
Jack Quay and Sophie Thatcher really great,
1:15:37
Harvey Gillen, from what we do in
1:15:40
the shadows, isn't as well, he's very
1:15:42
funny. But yeah, no, it's it's smart interesting
1:15:44
funny sci-fi and I and I do think
1:15:46
it's very very good I'm sorry I missed
1:15:48
it I was trying to get make it
1:15:51
out, but I just didn't get it I
1:15:53
think it helps I think it helps that
1:15:55
I was genuinely not sure what movie I
1:15:57
was watching until the big reveal Hmm I
1:15:59
was I was It's clued into what was off,
1:16:01
I didn't guess why. And I think
1:16:04
it's frustrating that while making, while producing
1:16:06
this movie, all the posters just say,
1:16:08
Sexbot, trailer's evil sex pot, or Sexpot
1:16:10
kills somebody. And I'm like, you're not
1:16:12
wrong, but you're not preserving the experience
1:16:14
and you're not doing the movie a
1:16:16
lot of favors. So I hope some
1:16:18
people get to see it, spoiler free,
1:16:21
but I think even if you don't,
1:16:23
it might be a situation where you're
1:16:25
kind of waiting for the movie to
1:16:27
get started after the movie to get
1:16:29
started. suspenseful and funny and I
1:16:31
just I think it's really good film it's
1:16:33
it it's probably I think it's the first
1:16:35
great movie I've seen this year oh
1:16:37
I could be forgetting something but I
1:16:39
think because I definitely some movies I
1:16:41
reviewed that were like technically last year
1:16:43
releases that didn't get theatrically released until
1:16:46
now that we didn't cover but I think
1:16:48
this is the first good movie scene this
1:16:50
year so I do recommend it a lot
1:16:52
amazing okay so you've got a new film
1:16:54
it's a is a new film it's a
1:16:56
horror film it's a One of two films
1:16:58
he's going to release this year. Oh,
1:17:00
only two this year. Only two this
1:17:03
year. Remember remember when he retired? And
1:17:05
then he retired again? And then he
1:17:07
retired again? Like he's retired more times
1:17:09
like he yummy isaki at this point.
1:17:12
He keeps on saying that he wants
1:17:14
to retire. He says he's going to
1:17:16
stop making movies. I guess can't help
1:17:18
himself. And we're all the better for
1:17:21
it. Most of his movies are really
1:17:23
good. Yeah, it's rare that he's disappointed.
1:17:25
It's happened a couple of times. Yeah,
1:17:27
he's prolific enough that he can't, you
1:17:30
know, they're not all going to be,
1:17:32
you know, winners, but like, it's, and
1:17:34
he's got a lot of variety in
1:17:36
his filmmaking too, which I appreciate. Yeah.
1:17:38
Like he doesn't make the same movie, he's
1:17:41
made a movie over and over again
1:17:43
a couple of times, he really likes
1:17:45
ice movies, but like. Yeah, because he
1:17:47
did, he did Ocean's. Very similar to
1:17:49
working class oceans 11 basically and I
1:17:51
actually like it better than yes He
1:17:53
has the film coming out later this
1:17:55
year called Black bag with which was
1:17:57
written by David Keps. I'm looking forward
1:17:59
to that Okay But yeah, this new
1:18:01
film presence is his take on a
1:18:03
haunted house movie. And the gimmick of
1:18:05
presence is that it takes place in
1:18:08
the haunted house, a family moves in,
1:18:10
there's a ghost there, and it's told
1:18:12
entirely from the perspective of the ghost.
1:18:15
Okay. But the camera is the ghost,
1:18:17
so we get to see everything like
1:18:19
through the ghost's eyes, essentially. Okay, no,
1:18:21
is it like a monster vision? How
1:18:24
do we know it's like from the
1:18:26
ghost perspective besides that it's just there?
1:18:28
the way the introductory sequence of the
1:18:31
movie is the camera sort of floating
1:18:33
through like using a steady cam yeah
1:18:35
it almost looks like a drone just
1:18:37
sort of floating around this house and
1:18:40
like the family comes in and it
1:18:42
floats up close so it's like doing
1:18:44
so with purpose like it's like it's
1:18:47
it's kind of looking at them okay
1:18:49
and uh and it kind of settles
1:18:51
on the teenage daughter of the family
1:18:53
that's moving in. The dad is played
1:18:56
by Chris Payne, or no, the character
1:18:58
is named Chris Payne, the dad is
1:19:00
played by Chris Sullivan, and the mom
1:19:03
is played by Lucy Liu, and their
1:19:05
teenage daughter is played by Colina Liang,
1:19:07
as a character, an actress I'm not
1:19:09
terribly familiar with. But she has a
1:19:12
bit of a sixth sense. So she's
1:19:14
the one who like, at one point,
1:19:16
looks directly at the camera. She is
1:19:19
also going through something really really tough
1:19:21
where her best friend just died. She's
1:19:23
going through a lot of horrible trauma
1:19:25
and that's sort of making her a
1:19:28
little bit more sensitive to the fact
1:19:30
that there's a presence in the house.
1:19:32
Her older brother is a complete loud.
1:19:35
He's a teenager and he's like trying
1:19:37
to drain himself of empathy and he's
1:19:39
constantly talking about these really cruel pranks
1:19:42
he's playing on people at school and
1:19:44
the dad is like... trying to straighten
1:19:46
him out as gently as he possibly
1:19:48
can. And the Lucy Lou character is
1:19:51
checked out. Like she's just focusing on
1:19:53
business and is not interacting with the
1:19:55
family that much anymore. Got it. And
1:19:58
of course there's a plot that's starts
1:20:00
to emerge after a while. Some other
1:20:02
characters enter the scene. There's one of those,
1:20:04
like in the Amadeville horror, there's the bit
1:20:06
where they welcome the medium inside and they
1:20:09
get to explain a lot of the. Yeah.
1:20:11
A lot of the exposition as to what's
1:20:13
really going on. The rules of this universe.
1:20:15
Yeah, someone's got to say it. Yeah.
1:20:17
But Soderbergh is a lot more
1:20:19
interesting. He's a lot more naturalistic
1:20:21
a filmmaker even though some of
1:20:23
his films are very mannered and
1:20:26
stylized. Yeah. He tends to shoot
1:20:28
his films in such a way
1:20:30
that it feels a little bit
1:20:32
more handheld and off the cuff.
1:20:34
Well, I think his last tour
1:20:36
movie was unsane. Yeah. Was she
1:20:38
filmed on like an iPhone? Was
1:20:40
it a clear foil? Yeah. He's
1:20:42
always been really interested in digital
1:20:44
technology, like digital cameras. Maybe a
1:20:46
bubble. long time ago. Yeah bubble is
1:20:48
really interesting because he not only shot it
1:20:50
digitally but it had that weird release schedule
1:20:53
was on It was on home video, theaters,
1:20:55
and on streaming all simultaneously. Right, which was
1:20:57
kind of a forerunner to a lot of
1:20:59
independent movies do that now. You can see
1:21:02
it in theaters or you can pay 20
1:21:04
bucks and see it on VOD. And I
1:21:06
think he likes the digital aesthetic because it
1:21:08
does have a little bit more of a
1:21:11
handmade quality to it. Or at least it
1:21:13
did when he started using it and he
1:21:15
kind of sticks with that aesthetic, even though
1:21:17
digital cameras are now super sophisticated.
1:21:20
Yeah. What presence has is
1:21:22
that quality that kind of handmade quality
1:21:24
where he's trying to use the camera
1:21:27
itself as a special effect And it
1:21:29
actually Has a really interesting viewpoint on
1:21:31
the ghost because when the teenage girl
1:21:33
notices there might be a ghost in
1:21:36
the room it realizes it's kind of
1:21:38
been seen and it literally hides in
1:21:40
the closet There's there's a few bits
1:21:43
where it tries to interact with people
1:21:45
and it kind of like like vibrates,
1:21:47
it's like this angry ghost that if
1:21:50
you've ever been one of those people
1:21:52
who thinks they have felt a ghost in the
1:21:54
room. Right. It kind of makes sense in that
1:21:56
way. Well let me ask you a question because
1:21:58
I missed, I had them. I couldn't,
1:22:00
life's been complicated in Los
1:22:03
Angeles the last month. I really
1:22:05
wanted to because I heard of
1:22:07
things. What I'm unclear about, from
1:22:09
hearing you talk, from hearing some
1:22:11
other people talk about this movie.
1:22:14
It's obviously it's a haunted house
1:22:16
story. Yes. Is it a horror
1:22:18
story? Is it scary? It's a
1:22:21
horror story because it's... There's a
1:22:23
good version of family drama. This
1:22:25
could be a version of Casper,
1:22:27
you know, like that's kind of
1:22:30
the plot of Casper where we're
1:22:32
seeing Christina reaching and Bill Pullman
1:22:34
through Casper's eyes for part of
1:22:37
it. I can't tell you the
1:22:39
horror elements without giving away some
1:22:41
like certain plot details. But
1:22:43
it is a horror movie.
1:22:45
There is a threat. There's
1:22:48
some horror, there's some horror,
1:22:50
there's a horror movie. nobody's
1:22:52
business. Ghost, for example, is
1:22:54
a great one. There's plenty
1:22:56
of uplifting or even comedic
1:22:59
ghost movies out there. Or
1:23:01
just pensive ones, like ghost
1:23:03
story. Yeah. You know, with a guy, David
1:23:05
Lowry. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
1:23:07
yeah. I like a ghost story.
1:23:10
I like David Lowry's a ghost
1:23:12
story. Yeah, you like more than
1:23:15
I do, but yeah, I get,
1:23:17
yeah. But it's a very pensive
1:23:19
ghost story. It's technically a ghost
1:23:22
story, but it's not really scary.
1:23:24
It's just about what it would
1:23:26
be like to be a ghost. It
1:23:28
would be like to be a ghost.
1:23:30
It would be kind of weird,
1:23:32
right? Time kind of falls away,
1:23:35
kind of, yeah. But it's good.
1:23:37
But yeah, but it is good and
1:23:39
I think a lot of the
1:23:41
character work is really honest. I
1:23:43
like movies that try to capture
1:23:45
our idea of what death would
1:23:47
feel like. Right. Over what an
1:23:50
afterlife might feel like. Yeah. I
1:23:52
mean, we've seen plenty of movies
1:23:54
where characters die and go
1:23:56
to some version of heaven,
1:23:59
for instance. we've seen so many
1:24:01
haunting movies and a lot of ghosts
1:24:03
are kind of like just detached vengeful
1:24:05
feelings. Yeah, they have unresolved things. Yeah,
1:24:07
it's always about something being unresolved and
1:24:09
most ghost stories are about domestic strife
1:24:12
at the heart of it after all.
1:24:14
Because a haunted house. Yeah, what is
1:24:16
a haunted house? It's just the evil
1:24:18
that's floating around through a domestic scene.
1:24:20
It's a house where stuff happened before
1:24:22
you got there. Yeah, or there's strife
1:24:25
within the family and the ghost represents
1:24:27
that strife. Yeah, yeah. So it's always...
1:24:29
All of that is also in presence,
1:24:31
but I feel like this has a
1:24:33
little bit of a novel view of
1:24:36
what it would like to be a
1:24:38
ghost, because you, essentially, the viewer, are
1:24:40
the ghost. You're floating through, you're seeing
1:24:42
it through everybody's eyes. You know, it
1:24:44
looks like a carnival vodka. You are
1:24:46
the ghost! Another film that did this
1:24:49
very well that I'm very fond of
1:24:51
was Gasparnoye's Enter the Void. I was
1:24:53
waiting for that to show up. I
1:24:55
was waiting for you to reference it.
1:24:57
I know you would. That's also a
1:24:59
movie about told from like the perspective
1:25:02
of like within the eyeballs of the
1:25:04
main character but it dies and we
1:25:06
get to see sort of how the
1:25:08
main character's spirit sort of drifts off
1:25:10
and drifts in and out and starts
1:25:12
drifting through time after a while and
1:25:15
starts partly the real world, but partly
1:25:17
the afterlife. I think that's a really
1:25:19
interesting movie, an interesting way to view
1:25:21
the afterlife. And I feel like Stephen
1:25:23
Sutterberg is trying to do something similar,
1:25:25
but like with his own novel edge
1:25:28
to it. Sure. Yeah, I enjoy it.
1:25:30
Yeah, I would like to point out.
1:25:32
That after multiple episodes of the show
1:25:34
we've had to record in a different
1:25:36
space than we've normally recorded in Yeah
1:25:38
And I've made multiple apologies and people
1:25:41
told me it's not so bad. He
1:25:43
can barely hear the refrigerator. This fuckers
1:25:45
getting louder This this thing is is
1:25:47
trying to tick me up. I know
1:25:49
I'm kind of hyper aware of a
1:25:51
sound I've never entirely happy with the
1:25:54
sound we can get because we don't
1:25:56
have like a proper studio. We're reviewing
1:25:58
a movie about a ghost something to
1:26:00
that. Maybe the fridge wants to get
1:26:02
in on the conversation for some reason.
1:26:04
What have you got, fridgey? The fridge
1:26:06
is possessed. The fridge is trying to
1:26:08
tell us something about its own ghostly.
1:26:11
What have we got here? You're opening
1:26:13
a fridge. So we've got a bunch
1:26:15
of garlic because I'm Italian of course
1:26:17
we do. We've got some beef stock.
1:26:19
I actually use ups and I've got some
1:26:21
butter. I've got some lacrois. Okay. Some
1:26:23
perfect bars in here. Drives me nuts
1:26:25
that it's not pronounced LaQua. I know,
1:26:28
right? So I'm not sure why my
1:26:30
refrigerator is trying to convey with that.
1:26:32
But maybe maybe someone can figure it
1:26:34
out like the kid with the cereal
1:26:37
boxes and lady in the water. There's
1:26:39
meaning to all of this. Tell me
1:26:41
about another movie. All right, so last
1:26:43
movie, let's review it this week. It's
1:26:46
called Love Main. And I
1:26:48
mentioned at the top, it's got
1:26:50
a really novel premise. The opening
1:26:52
of the movie is the creation
1:26:54
of the universe, followed by the
1:26:57
creation of Earth, followed by Earth
1:26:59
getting hit by, you know, a
1:27:01
meteor. This is all like time-lapse
1:27:03
photography. So we're seeing billions upon
1:27:05
billions of years in just like
1:27:08
a minute. And you know, we
1:27:10
see like the Pangea evolve and
1:27:12
then all of a sudden, everything gets
1:27:15
really loud. Like we hear like
1:27:17
a lot of radio transmissions and music
1:27:19
and this kind of stuff and then
1:27:21
all of a sudden all of that
1:27:23
gets turned off at once and Everything kind
1:27:26
of slows down and now here
1:27:28
we are humanity has died and
1:27:30
Our protagonist our main character at
1:27:32
least for the first part of
1:27:34
the movie is a scientific flotation
1:27:36
boy It's just it's it's floating
1:27:38
in the ocean. It's supposed to human
1:27:41
shape. No, no, it is not No,
1:27:43
it is not it looks it looks
1:27:45
like a flotation boy with like a
1:27:47
camera on it And it's just sort
1:27:49
of looking around and apparently it's
1:27:52
been doing this for it's solar powered
1:27:54
so it can go on for a
1:27:56
long time and it's just Doing
1:27:58
its thing and then And every once
1:28:00
in a while, it sees overhead,
1:28:02
like one light in the sky
1:28:05
flies across, and that's a satellite. And
1:28:08
the boy can pick up on
1:28:10
the satellite's transmissions, and the satellite's transmissions
1:28:12
are basically, I
1:28:16
am this satellite, and I am
1:28:18
here to welcome any visitors who
1:28:20
might come to Earth and tell
1:28:22
you what Earth was like. It
1:28:24
was like this thing we put
1:28:26
up last minute, like in the
1:28:28
inner light, except it's not going
1:28:31
to put anyone in a lifelong,
1:28:33
you know, horrifying, you know, hologram
1:28:35
reality. And
1:28:37
our flutation boy is clearly lonely,
1:28:40
and it's starting to want more
1:28:42
for itself, and finally she tries
1:28:44
to contact the satellite. Sends out
1:28:46
like a radio signal because she
1:28:48
can do that. And the satellite
1:28:50
is like, oh, hello. I am
1:28:52
here to introduce any new lifeforms
1:28:54
who may have come to Earth.
1:28:56
Are you a lifeform? And the
1:28:58
flutation boy says, no. And the
1:29:00
satellite says, oh, okay. And then
1:29:02
it keeps going. And the flutation
1:29:04
boy is like, damn it. So
1:29:06
the flutation boy now needs to
1:29:08
pretend to be a lifeform in
1:29:10
order to actually have any sort
1:29:13
of interaction for the only other
1:29:15
thing that is capable of interacting
1:29:17
with it. And
1:29:19
it starts, it's able to
1:29:21
basically look into the history of
1:29:23
the internet and looks at,
1:29:25
like, Instagram and YouTube and figures
1:29:27
out this is what people
1:29:29
were like. Okay. So the next
1:29:31
time she contacts the satellite,
1:29:33
this flutation boy who is voiced
1:29:35
by Kristen Stewart says it
1:29:37
is a lifeform. And it's interested
1:29:39
in sharing lifeform stuff with
1:29:41
this satellite who is voiced by
1:29:43
Steven Yen. And
1:29:47
the thing is, the flutation boy
1:29:49
doesn't know a goddamn thing about
1:29:51
what life is like. It only
1:29:53
knows what it's seeing through YouTube
1:29:55
videos. And it's just trying to
1:29:58
copy what it saw as a
1:30:00
perfect relationship between two humans. before Humanity
1:30:02
died who were played by Kristen Stewart and Stephen Yet.
1:30:04
Okay. So she creates like a digital
1:30:06
avatar of herself and so a lot
1:30:08
of the movies animated. Okay. It
1:30:11
looks like a universe kind of
1:30:13
and they create in like they're
1:30:15
in like the internet that they
1:30:17
Nintendo Meese that kind of stuff.
1:30:19
Yeah, basically they create they recreate
1:30:21
a space from one of the
1:30:23
YouTube videos that the Kristen Stewart
1:30:25
Flutation Boy glombed onto. and they're
1:30:27
trying to experience humanity by just
1:30:29
reliving the same YouTube clip over
1:30:32
and over again until it finally
1:30:34
until Kristen Stewart finally says we got
1:30:36
it right okay but this as they keep
1:30:38
doing this over and over again cycling over
1:30:40
and over God knows how many times Stephen
1:30:43
Yan starts realizing this isn't satisfying this
1:30:45
doesn't feel genuine okay this isn't
1:30:47
us and I would like to
1:30:49
do something different and this pisses
1:30:52
her off because her entire perspective
1:30:54
about what happiness and connection and
1:30:56
love is like are based off
1:30:58
of what they've seen. Yeah. And
1:31:00
what they've seen is very superficial.
1:31:02
and this creates a rift and I
1:31:04
will not tell you how everything
1:31:06
goes I will say at one
1:31:09
point a billion years passes in
1:31:11
this movie I love it yeah
1:31:13
I love the concept of this
1:31:15
movie oh it's it's so unapologetically
1:31:17
unsinematic in its premise because it
1:31:19
sounds like it should just be
1:31:21
like two little machines it's like
1:31:23
a short story it really probably
1:31:25
would be better as a short
1:31:27
story I think it kind of
1:31:29
struggles to fill a complete feature-length
1:31:31
runtime And the other thing that's
1:31:33
kind of fascinating about this is
1:31:35
that it really raises a lot
1:31:37
of things about artificial intelligence, what
1:31:40
does it mean to be human,
1:31:42
and it has zero interest in
1:31:44
any of those things. Which, honestly,
1:31:46
that's well-trodden territory. If you have
1:31:48
something else you want to focus
1:31:50
on, knock yourself out, and what we
1:31:53
do focus on, ultimately, is the idea
1:31:55
that our sense of self is so
1:31:57
often defined by what we witness, and
1:31:59
what we... and what popular culture
1:32:01
and this creates a rift and I
1:32:04
will not tell you how everything
1:32:06
goes I will say at one
1:32:08
point a billion years passes in
1:32:10
this movie I love it yeah
1:32:12
I love the concept of this
1:32:14
movie oh it's it's so unapologetically
1:32:16
unsinematic in its premise because it
1:32:18
sounds like it should just be
1:32:20
like too a little machine that's
1:32:22
painting each other. It really probably
1:32:24
would be better as a short
1:32:26
story. I think it kind of
1:32:28
struggles to fill a complete feature-length
1:32:30
runtime. And the other thing that's
1:32:33
kind of fascinating about this is
1:32:35
that it really raises a lot
1:32:37
of questions about artificial intelligence, what
1:32:39
does it mean to be human,
1:32:41
and it has zero interest in
1:32:43
any of those things. Which, honestly,
1:32:46
that's well-trotting territory. If you want
1:32:48
to focus on, knock yourself out,
1:32:50
and... What we do focus on,
1:32:52
ultimately, is the idea that our
1:32:54
sense of self is so often
1:32:57
defined by what we witness and
1:32:59
what we experience and what popular
1:33:02
culture drives into us, that a
1:33:04
lot of us are completely unaware
1:33:07
of who we are. And that's a fair
1:33:09
point. Might not... It might be a
1:33:11
bit much to make this long
1:33:13
a sci-fi phone about it, but
1:33:15
it's a fair point and I
1:33:17
think ultimately the movie comes to
1:33:19
some very sweet, very zen, some
1:33:21
very difficult conclusions about the absolute
1:33:24
impossibility of meaningful connection even though
1:33:26
it is absolutely possible and we're
1:33:28
mostly just getting in our own
1:33:30
way. Because we're trying to force
1:33:32
people to be who they're not
1:33:34
or trying to force ourselves to
1:33:36
be who we're not or we're
1:33:38
so concerned about fitting what our
1:33:40
expectations of a relationship is that
1:33:42
we have no idea what relationship
1:33:45
we're actually in. These are valid
1:33:47
concepts. We maybe didn't need to go to
1:33:49
this much trouble to explore that, but we
1:33:51
did. And I like it. I don't love
1:33:53
it. I think it's it's it gets too
1:33:56
big for its own bridges, but I think
1:33:58
Stephen Yan and Kristen Kristen Stewart. Thank you.
1:34:00
Now that we're almost over, thank you refrigerator.
1:34:02
I'm sorry, are you in love with the
1:34:05
toaster? We, do we, I don't have a
1:34:07
toaster. Okay, well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I
1:34:09
don't have a toaster for you to love
1:34:11
refrigerator. Anyway, my point is this. If
1:34:14
you like Stephen Yan and Kristen Stewart,
1:34:16
this is a good movie to see,
1:34:18
because it's just them, basically. A lot
1:34:21
of it's animated, eventually some of it
1:34:23
is not, but they have to carry
1:34:25
the whole movie and they do so
1:34:28
beautifully. It's a good high concept and
1:34:30
it ultimately doesn't explore every single thing
1:34:32
that it raises, but what it does
1:34:35
explore, whether it's what you're interested or
1:34:37
not, it does do very well. But
1:34:39
it does feel... kind of bad so
1:34:42
I like it I don't love it
1:34:44
but I do think that if any
1:34:46
of that intrigues you it's definitely we're
1:34:48
checking it definitely I'm definitely intrigued yeah
1:34:51
it's certainly intriguing like it's it's certainly
1:34:53
like you may be surprised just by
1:34:55
how odd it is if you don't
1:34:58
I imagine this is one of the
1:35:00
movies where if you clicked on it
1:35:02
without knowing anything about it I can
1:35:05
only imagine how weird it would be
1:35:07
right to watch this movie discover itself
1:35:09
but Anyway, so no I dig it,
1:35:12
I don't love it, but that's pretty
1:35:14
good for January. Anyway, that is different,
1:35:16
critically acclaimed, we are going to review
1:35:19
our movies now on a scale of
1:35:21
C minus to C plus, that is
1:35:23
the critically acclaimed way. C minus is
1:35:25
the lowest movie we can get, that's
1:35:28
the lowest movie we don't recommend for
1:35:30
one reason or another, maybe we think
1:35:32
it's awful. C is an average movie,
1:35:35
these movies that are just okay, a
1:35:37
bit of a mixed bag. And then
1:35:39
C Plus is an above average movie.
1:35:42
This is a movie that we recommend.
1:35:44
Maybe we even love it, but we
1:35:46
certainly recommend it. On that note, Love
1:35:49
Me is a high C. It's certainly,
1:35:51
it's close to being like fascinating, but
1:35:53
I think it does some interesting things,
1:35:55
and if it wasn't so long, it
1:35:58
probably would have justified its narrow focus
1:36:00
a bit better, I think. Definitely not
1:36:02
a watch. Presence. Presence is a C-plus,
1:36:05
not a very passionate C-plus. I think
1:36:07
it functions very well. I like the
1:36:09
approach to the filmmaking and I like
1:36:12
the perspective gimmick. It's not too much
1:36:14
more sophisticated than that, but it does
1:36:16
function the way it does. Well, it
1:36:18
functions the way it does. It functions
1:36:21
the way it does. It's like the
1:36:23
most nondescript way. I could have praised
1:36:25
a movie. I'm going to write a
1:36:27
book about film criticism. That's going to
1:36:30
be how it functions the way it
1:36:32
does. Quote Whitney Saggle. You're welcome. A
1:36:34
companion is a big old C-plus. If
1:36:36
you skip the review, if you skip
1:36:38
the review, because I told you you
1:36:41
might not want to know about it
1:36:43
and just watch it unfold. To watch
1:36:45
it unfold is a delight. It is
1:36:47
a wicked, twisted, funny, create some rules
1:36:49
and then like finds every way to
1:36:52
follow and then break them in a
1:36:54
way that makes sense for the narrative.
1:36:56
It never feels like a cheat. It's
1:36:58
really great in particular. Yeah, it's just
1:37:00
a solid. entertaining surprise of a flick
1:37:02
and I hope you can preserve as
1:37:05
much of the surprises you can because
1:37:07
it's fun. Let's see, Dogman. I'm Dogman
1:37:09
at a C? Okay, I think we're
1:37:11
higher on it than that. No, I
1:37:13
liked it alone. I think it functions
1:37:15
well. I think it is a little
1:37:18
bit... Slight, I've used the word
1:37:20
frantic a couple of times because
1:37:22
I think it does race through
1:37:24
certain sequences pretty quickly. Yeah, like
1:37:26
it introduces things really quickly. It
1:37:28
wraps up really quickly and then
1:37:30
it, but it's like weirdly emotionally strong
1:37:32
throughout the middle. Yeah. No, I agree.
1:37:35
It's a see. I think it's a see. I
1:37:37
think this is a movie that I think if
1:37:39
I was a little kid I would really love.
1:37:41
Yeah. But I can't. Give a review of what
1:37:43
someone else would feel about a movie. Yeah. So,
1:37:46
you know, that's the caveat. If you have kids,
1:37:48
they may like it a lot more than I
1:37:50
did. If you grew up in these books, I
1:37:52
don't know how long they've been around. How long
1:37:54
have these dogman books been around? About a decade,
1:37:57
no. Okay, so someone could see who read them
1:37:59
as a kid. another an adult, then you
1:38:01
may have more affection for them than I
1:38:03
do. But I was impressed by just how
1:38:05
kind of soulful it was and really the
1:38:08
emotional beats were the things that stuck with
1:38:10
me a lot more than even the funnier
1:38:12
jokes. But it's a sweet movie. It's a
1:38:15
sweet movie. I just don't love it. And
1:38:17
then lastly, section 31, which I abstain
1:38:19
from, even though I saw it, we
1:38:21
talked about it a little bit, but
1:38:23
I'm just going to not review it.
1:38:26
Whitney, you get to have the, you
1:38:28
get to have every word. It's a
1:38:30
C minus. It doesn't have any of
1:38:32
the stuff I like about Star Trek
1:38:34
in it, and even that aside, I
1:38:36
think it's not a very good action
1:38:39
film. I think the characters aren't very
1:38:41
interesting, and I think the plot is incredibly
1:38:43
boring. I mean it's an effective review,
1:38:45
it didn't get me wrong, it's not
1:38:47
a, it's definitely not a positive one.
1:38:49
Yeah. Fair enough. Thank you for listening.
1:38:51
Thank you for joining us. We'll be
1:38:54
back next week with a review of
1:38:56
the new Amy Schumer comedy on Netflix.
1:38:58
What's it called a kind of pregnant
1:39:00
almost pregnant? I think it's called kind
1:39:02
of pregnant. Yeah, I think it's called
1:39:04
kind of pregnant. Yeah, yeah, and also
1:39:06
the, oh and Kay Kweek-Con is back
1:39:08
with a action comedy called Love Hurts.
1:39:10
Which you know, I hope is good.
1:39:12
I don't really know anything about it,
1:39:14
but I was saying it soon. So
1:39:17
that will be coming up next. Actually,
1:39:19
actually before that. We've got a special
1:39:21
episode of Critically Claim this week in
1:39:23
which Whitney and I talk about the best
1:39:25
films of the century so far. Yes. And
1:39:27
if you're on Patreon, you can listen
1:39:29
to that right now. for even just one
1:39:32
dollar a month. You can, or you
1:39:34
can sign up for another tier and get
1:39:36
a whole lot of exclusive stuff or whole
1:39:38
Star Trek podcast, for example. You can
1:39:40
listen to that now, ad-free and early, as
1:39:43
we put out many of our episodes
1:39:45
early out there. Or you can wait a
1:39:47
few days and we'll put that out probably,
1:39:49
I think, Thursday on the main feed. So if
1:39:51
you can't wait.
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