0:10

Hello everybody and

0:13

welcome back to

0:15

critically acclaimed the

0:17

movie review podcast

0:19

where we have

0:22

our sexy voices

0:24

Yes, we do. I'm

0:26

lucky That I am on a

0:29

microphone. Yes, because otherwise my

0:31

voice carries no authority whatsoever I'll

0:33

introduce yourself, William. Hi, my

0:35

name is William Bibiani. I am

0:37

a film critic. I write

0:39

for the rap and everybody calls

0:42

me Bibbs. My name is Whitney

0:44

Seibold. I too, I'm a film

0:47

critic. I'm a senior staff writer,

0:49

or it's slash film. I've

0:51

always been annoyed by my voice.

0:53

Yeah. I hate it. I

0:55

hate hearing recordings. How many podcasts

0:58

have we made? Countless hours. Literally,

1:00

literally thousands, multiple thousands. I make

1:03

a good deal of my living

1:05

talking. But there's my voice. My

1:07

voice doesn't carry in a crowded

1:09

room so no one can hear me,

1:12

but it does carry in a quiet

1:14

room when I want to be quiet.

1:16

So it's double trouble here. That's fun.

1:18

God, you can really game the system

1:21

on that. Yeah, I lose from both

1:23

directions. You own that library. Like a

1:25

library? Yeah, that's your zone. Yeah, so

1:27

I'm trying to be quiet in a

1:30

library. I'm trying to be quiet, trying

1:32

to talk to my friends. And my

1:34

voice is the one can be heard.

1:36

But if I'm trying to get somebody's

1:39

attention in a crowded room, my voice

1:41

gets swallowed up. So here in a

1:43

relatively quiet room with a microphone, you

1:45

guys can hear me? You can hear what

1:47

I'm saying? And not only can they

1:49

hear you, they're listening. And they get

1:52

mad at my bad opinion? They do.

1:54

But that's why they're here. Yes. Yes.

1:56

Well, in any case, our bad opinions

1:59

this week are going to be about

2:01

the new... movies. I guess they are

2:03

pretty bad. Anyway, we're going to be

2:06

talking about the new movies, heart eyes,

2:08

the slasher Romcom hybrid heart eyes. The

2:10

Romcom action movie hybrid love hurts. And

2:13

then finally, the new fake pregnancy Romcom

2:15

from Amy Schumer, kind of pregnant. And

2:17

that's it. That's it. That's how we

2:20

got this. Those are straight look. Everybody's

2:22

getting out of the way of Captain

2:24

America, which opens next week. Well, I

2:27

think what they're actually doing is getting

2:29

the way, out of the way, the

2:31

Super Bowl. which is notoriously like you

2:33

know kind of a low attendance day

2:36

that's a movie so every movie yeah

2:38

this weekend was the Super Bowl here

2:40

in the United States it's a big

2:43

American football is a lot more like

2:45

rugby for our international listeners yeah and

2:47

for our national listeners rugby sucks rugby

2:50

sucks rugby sucks hey no I'm kidding

2:52

I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding we

2:54

stole rugby is basically the point we

2:57

we stole rugby we we changed it

2:59

around it is something that's less watchable

3:01

and exciting and and made it our

3:04

like one of the biggest moneyed events

3:06

in the nation's history. And isn't that

3:08

the American way? Yeah, sadly. Oh, here's

3:10

some big fun. Is it? Okay. This

3:13

was Super Bowl. Today is Super Bowl

3:15

59, which in Roman numerals as L.I.X.

3:17

Uh-huh. Super Bowl licks. But Clive Barker

3:20

fans know the word licks as meaning

3:22

something else entirely. Okay. Because in Clive

3:24

Barker's novel, the great and secret show,

3:27

which is a better ones. He meant

3:29

to write a whole series called The

3:31

Books of the Art, which is kind

3:34

of this magic practice that the characters

3:36

do. He only ever did two. He

3:38

did The Great and Secret Show and

3:41

he did Everville. The Great and Secret

3:43

Show, one of the characters learns a

3:45

bit of magic where he can create

3:47

these things called licks. And they're like

3:50

these little like slug-like worm things that

3:52

attack people. They got little teeth in

3:54

them. And they're made of poo. They're

3:57

these poo monsters. So, yeah, you'd think

3:59

Clive Barker, who ordinarily doesn't write about

4:01

bodily fluids or monsters made of glop.

4:04

Nothing, he doesn't do anything like that.

4:06

Nothing gross about Clive Barker. Certainly not

4:08

in his, I was such a snot

4:11

about Clive Barker, because all of my

4:13

friends were reading Stephen King, and I

4:15

thought I was, so superior. Clive Barker

4:18

is a good one, and by the

4:20

good one, I mean, the goopy one.

4:22

He was, he was goopier sexier sexier

4:25

and did like these gigantic, like these

4:27

gigantic, multi-dimensional, multi-dimensional. It wasn't until later

4:29

that I learned that Stephen King also

4:31

did big long multi-dimensional stories Yeah, those

4:34

dark tower books I'm still going to

4:36

go to B Africa like Barker anyway

4:38

None of these horror movies or slashers

4:41

or romances were written by Clive Barker

4:43

Look Few movies are unfortunately in the

4:45

grand scheme of things He has directed

4:48

three the last one was in 1995.

4:50

So he's do he's do he's do

4:52

yeah I know he's been wrestling with

4:55

Health a lot. Yeah. There was, uh,

4:57

we'll get to the reviews in a

4:59

minute, but yeah, we're only doing three,

5:02

so we got some time to, to,

5:04

to commit. We had to hit our

5:06

two hours somehow, but, uh, that's not

5:08

a mandate by the way, that just

5:11

keeps happening. Uh, there was a time

5:13

in the late 90s when Clive Barker,

5:15

uh, was, he was bought up by

5:18

the Disney machine. Yes, I remember. And

5:20

he was going to, they were actually,

5:22

Disney was preparing to create this big

5:25

YA fantasy universe to compete with Ferry

5:27

Potter, which was coming up at the

5:29

same, about the same time. And Clive

5:32

Barker started to write these books. He

5:34

also did like hundreds and hundreds of

5:36

paintings himself for these gigantic elaborate fantasy

5:39

novels called the Aberat. He was going

5:41

to write the Aberat Quintet. There were

5:43

going to be five of these books.

5:46

He's written three so far. Cleve Barker

5:48

has a lot of unfinished project. Yes.

5:50

But it was another interdimensional thing. This

5:52

teenage girl gets whisked away to an

5:55

alternate dimension with 25 islands, and all

5:57

of them represent a different... there are

5:59

a different hour of the day, 24

6:02

hours a day on each island, so

6:04

this one that's always 3 p.m. this

6:06

one's always midnight. And then there was

6:09

the 25th island, which was out of

6:11

time, high concept fun fantasy thing. And

6:13

Disney was going to give him like

6:16

all this money, he was going to

6:18

do these like whole series of movies

6:20

that was just going to go on

6:23

and on and maybe some TV mini

6:25

series. It was going to be a

6:27

big thing. And then there was a

6:29

regime change change at Disney. pushed off

6:32

to the side and Disney went on

6:34

with other more expensive things. I think

6:36

John Carter was one of the projects

6:39

they put into into production instead. But

6:41

yeah, there was going to be a

6:43

minute where instead of having a Like

6:46

avatar some of these other big things that

6:49

we had like in the mid to late

6:51

2000s We were gonna have a big Clive

6:53

Barker fantasy universe right from Disney. Yeah, I

6:55

would have loved to have seen that I

6:58

would have loved to have seen that I

7:00

would have loved to have seen Clive Barker

7:02

land at Disneyland Yeah, let me tell you

7:04

some right now in case you're wondering. Why

7:07

are they talking about Clive Barker so much

7:09

this is a backdoor pilot for upcoming podcast

7:11

the Clive hive hive hive Which is the

7:13

rhyme I've been trying to think of while

7:16

I've been letting Whitney talk for the last

7:18

60 seconds. We're working on the treatment in

7:20

your head. I was kind of leaning towards

7:22

like Clive too, Clive harder or Clive Barker,

7:25

but it didn't track, it was too belabored.

7:27

Yeah, barking about Barker or something like that.

7:29

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was going to

7:32

do Barker a vagrant, but I thought that

7:34

was too obscure. Yeah, maybe, yeah, maybe a

7:36

little. Yeah, I think that's okay. I'd have

7:38

met her a couple of book signings, but

7:41

I've talked about Barker. Okay, so we can

7:43

get them on the jail. I'm the Clive

7:45

Hive, but I do love Cliff Barker movies,

7:47

and I love Clive Barker in general. And

7:50

to reiterate, none of the movies we're talking

7:52

about have anything to do with Clive Barker.

7:54

Although, um... I don't know, I think we

7:56

could find something if we tried hard enough.

7:59

Well, I mean... Our

8:01

pain and pleasure individual because if they

8:03

are then one of these films is

8:05

very pleasurable What are we talking about

8:08

again? We're talking about hard eyes love

8:10

hurts and kind of pregnant. Let's let's

8:12

start with Let's start with the big

8:15

well we won't start with hard eyes.

8:17

Let's start with heart eyes. Okay. There's

8:19

a new slasher this was directed by

8:22

Josh Rubin who I Did a movie

8:24

I very much like? It was called

8:26

Where Wolves Within. I'm of the opinion

8:29

that Where Wolves Within, which is based

8:31

on a virtual reality video game, which

8:33

is in turn based on the party

8:36

game, Wherewolf, where everyone closes their eyes,

8:38

one of these werewolf love. I maintain

8:40

that is the best, at least live

8:42

action. adaptation of a video game. It's

8:45

up there. It's definitely because it's not

8:47

granted the competition still isn't fierce, but

8:49

I still think that's that's hands down

8:52

my number one live action. Who's the

8:54

lead actor Sam Richardson? Was it was

8:56

the guy was just in section 31?

8:59

Yeah, yeah, that guy. Yeah, Sam Richardson

9:01

is in it. Yeah, squirrel girl was

9:03

in it. Uh, Molina Vaintrobe, who is

9:06

also in those AT&T ads. Yeah, she

9:08

was supposed to be squirrel girl in.

9:10

that's on the pilot and yes we've

9:13

been trying to track that down for

9:15

cancel too soon if any of you

9:17

knows where we can get that I

9:20

live a bank of you please send

9:22

it my way because I'm a huge

9:24

squirrel girl fan and she was perfect

9:27

casting and I'm still mad that that

9:29

never came together and I know it's

9:31

only a matter of time before they

9:34

put squirrel girl in the movies and

9:36

they need they need to cast her

9:38

again yeah she's available make it happen

9:40

make it so but I really like

9:43

were wolves within and I think Josh

9:45

Ruben I'm discovering I'm discovering yeah He's

9:47

kind of only as good as his

9:50

budget. Because I feel like were wolves

9:52

in, that was kind of a low

9:54

budget project, but you could tell that

9:57

he had like a bit of production

9:59

quality to work with. Right. He had

10:01

like a lot of detail in the

10:04

buildings and a lot of time to

10:06

work with the actors. you were the

10:08

kind of foster the characters. It felt

10:11

like a real small town movie, like

10:13

you felt really lived in. Yeah, there

10:15

were characters who had like little incidental

10:18

exchanges and you kind of got to

10:20

know this entire town. It was like,

10:22

kind of like a rural version of

10:25

clue. Yeah. But there was a werewolf

10:27

in it. It's actually really quite good.

10:29

And listen, we do not compare a

10:32

movie to clue lightly. No clue is

10:34

it. We love clue here. So if

10:36

we're comparing you favorably here. But here

10:38

he's back with a slasher movie, another

10:41

Valentine's Day slasher movie, called Heart Eyes.

10:43

Well, not that where it was within

10:45

was a Valentine's day. No, well, we

10:48

had a few Valentine's. There was a

10:50

Valentine. There was two versions of My

10:52

Bloody Valentine. Yeah. The 3D version came

10:55

out in the late 2000s. Yeah, both

10:57

of my bloody Valentine's are quite good.

10:59

I've never saw Valentine with David Porianus.

11:02

Did you ever see that? It's a

11:04

Valentine's David Boronus. When they tried to

11:06

revive slashers in the late 90s, Valentine

11:09

was it above that movement and it's

11:11

Forgettable kind of average film. But yeah,

11:13

there's there have been plenty of movies

11:16

about Killers who try to interrupt the

11:18

rituals of romance and in this case

11:20

quite literally so. The heart eyes killer

11:23

or the AGK which I appreciate that

11:25

they They don't say heart-eyes killer over

11:27

and over again. Yeah throughout the movie

11:30

heart eyes would have been fine. Yeah,

11:32

two syllables but whatever well, but it's

11:34

it's reminiscent of like BT K. I'm

11:36

aware I'm aware The killer wears a

11:39

mask with heart eyes. Yeah, like the

11:41

heart eyes emoji Specifically, which makes this

11:43

as far as I'm concerned the best

11:46

emoji movie Again, I didn't think I

11:48

didn't put together that it was supposed

11:50

to be an emoji And I realize

11:53

I wrote in my it's it's ghost

11:55

to quote your own review But I

11:57

seem a better way of expressing the

12:00

sentiment It's not it didn't so much

12:02

raise the bar for emoji movies as

12:04

the emoji movie forgot to set a

12:07

bar but it is good movie. But

12:09

this heart-eyes killer wears a mask. Also

12:11

a very like ultra-trained assassin type of

12:14

character. I was like throwing knives and

12:16

crossbows and stuff. It's a real it's

12:18

a real bad-ass hero. Yeah, like big

12:21

hefty boots and wears like a military

12:23

jacket and this killer mask. Not like

12:25

a big woodsbound oaf like Jason Voori.

12:28

No. Actually very calculated killer. tries to

12:30

find loving couples on Valentine's Day and

12:32

kill them. And the killer has been

12:34

doing this by the time the movie

12:37

begins, they only kill in Valentine's Day

12:39

and they've done it three times now

12:41

in different cities across America. I think

12:44

it was like Boston. Boston and Philadelphia

12:46

and now the new one is in

12:48

Seattle. So hard-eyed gets around. Yeah. So...

12:51

That's the back store. We open with

12:53

a pretty spectacular set of kills. Very

12:55

squishy, which I appreciate. Someone has killed

12:58

in a, I think it's a wine

13:00

press. Yeah, very, and graphic too. But

13:02

in a, not in a, like, oh,

13:05

that's so sad, but in like that

13:07

kind of slasher movie, we're barely towing

13:09

the line between, oh, that's unfortunate that

13:12

they died, but also awesome. Yeah. Yeah.

13:14

Our protagonist is played by Olivia Holt.

13:16

Um, she is, she is, as the

13:19

protagonist of many a Valentine's Day type

13:21

movie, uh, uh, is, she works in

13:23

advertising for a company that is doing

13:26

a last minute Valentine's Day advertising campaign

13:28

the day before Valentine's Day, which is

13:30

never how that works. No, no, if

13:32

you don't have that solved by Christmas,

13:35

you're behind, you know. I mean, Christmas

13:37

is ridiculous. I've seen so many Hallmark

13:39

movies, where it's like, oh, it's Christmas

13:42

is coming out how to sell things

13:44

for Christmas. It's December 1st. It's December!

13:46

You fucked up! You should have taken

13:49

it out by June! It's ridiculous! But

13:51

we have to pivot real fast! Like,

13:53

what? It's October 15th. We need to

13:56

solve our Halloween candy crisis. Anyway, her

13:58

character is getting... over a recent breakup,

14:00

she's a little obsessed with them, keeps

14:03

checking her phone, seeing what he's doing

14:05

on Instagram. She's adorably clumsy. She has

14:07

a Randy foul-mouth comic relief best friend

14:10

who takes her on shopping montages to

14:12

cheer her up. She meets a very

14:14

handsome man, played by what's the name

14:17

of the guy from the last two

14:19

Scream movies. Handsome man, is his man.

14:21

Handsome man, which, you know, that's a

14:24

that's a name you hope your kid

14:26

proves into. Mason Gooding is the actor's

14:28

name. Okay, Mason Gooding. He was in

14:30

book smart as well. Yeah, damn charming.

14:33

Very, very handsome guy. They meet because

14:35

they have the same coffee order. They

14:37

bump each other's heads. Oh, how wacky

14:40

doodle. And but it turns out, he's

14:42

his, he's her new rival at work.

14:44

Oh man, we were hitting it up

14:47

so well. But now, now we're at

14:49

odds. And now we have to go

14:51

out on a work event. kind of

14:54

evening, but maybe it's a date, but

14:56

maybe it's the worst date ever. Here's

14:58

the thing. He says, uh, but he's

15:01

so light-hearted and he's actually very charmed

15:03

by this young woman and he says,

15:05

I, I, let's like, get off on

15:08

the right foot, let's have a work

15:10

event afterwards. Randy, best friend is like,

15:12

hey, let's do a shopping montage first,

15:15

they put on a nice outfit, they

15:17

put on a nice outfit, and, He

15:19

said like this was something he just

15:22

planned You need reservations a month out.

15:24

Okay. I think I think once again,

15:26

that's the romantic comedy. Yeah, like he's

15:28

so cool. He can get reservations that

15:31

I know a guy or whatever They

15:33

sit and they have a conversation and

15:35

she has a pretty good speech about

15:38

how she No longer believes in this

15:40

like romantic notion of love that they

15:42

sell in Valentine's Day advertising. Love is

15:45

a lie. I'm disillusioned with it all.

15:47

And this guy who's clearly enter, he's

15:49

like, okay, well, this has gone very

15:52

badly. and they abscond but they run

15:54

into her ex and she does that

15:56

thing they do in movies which i

15:59

have never seen anyone do in real

16:01

life kiss me real quick yeah yeah

16:03

yeah which is which is just something

16:06

like you can't do that in real

16:08

life you just have you never try

16:10

that I just want to make something

16:13

I just want to make sure why

16:15

are they under the line? Because if

16:17

you tried it, you would be a

16:20

fucking creep. You can't do it in

16:22

real life. There's some things you can

16:24

do in movies that you can't do

16:26

in real life that are used in

16:29

movies all the time, that kind of

16:31

thing, that kind of kiss. Getting a

16:33

reservation at the last minute. Blood revenge.

16:36

These things don't happen in real life.

16:38

Not often. Not often. And wouldn't you

16:40

know it? The fake kiss is witnessed

16:43

by hard eyes and hard eyes. follows

16:45

them back to her place, he goes

16:47

up to her place, because he's cut

16:50

his hand breaking in. It's all wacky,

16:52

it's all wacky, it's revealed that she

16:54

is a medical student, a bit of

16:57

exposition there. This might be important later.

16:59

And then Heart Ice attacks them and

17:01

pretty much chases them throughout the rest

17:04

of the movie. Now, Heart Ice is

17:06

a genre hybrid and it's two very

17:08

specific genres that are being matched up.

17:11

Obviously romantic comedy hits all of those

17:13

tropes very very hard, especially in the

17:15

first act. But it's also a slasher

17:18

and I've equated romantic comedies and slashers

17:20

a lot on this podcast and in

17:22

my work because there are two genres

17:24

which have very specific tropes that the

17:27

audience does not want to see fucked

17:29

with. Yeah, the... The banality of these

17:31

two genres is their charm. The familiarity,

17:34

the coziness, if you will. That's, and

17:36

that's actually something screen was riffing on.

17:38

Like their tropes were already so old

17:41

by the mid-90s that they made a

17:43

movie populated by characters who were already

17:45

bored with the tropes of slashers even

17:48

when they were in one. And of

17:50

course the genius of scream is that

17:52

it still did all those tropes, but

17:55

it got away with it and it

17:57

did them really well. Yeah, because... What

17:59

it argued is you can know the

18:02

tropes, but you're not safe. Yeah, that

18:04

was the fun of scream Yeah, so

18:06

but this movie is it's not The

18:09

movie is self-aware, but it's never like

18:11

actually winking at the camera talking about,

18:13

oh, this is just like a romcom.

18:16

It's just hitting all the tropes so

18:18

hard, it's very, very obvious. I've said

18:20

before that I think the secret to

18:22

a good slasher movie is that the

18:25

slasher, the killings, interrupt a story we

18:27

would have wanted to see if the

18:29

slasher never showed up. Because then you

18:32

have characters who actually have something going

18:34

on in their lives, they have interests,

18:36

they have drama, they're actually in a

18:39

narrative, they're worth following, even when they're

18:41

not dying. And here, the solution is,

18:43

they're in a romcom. And then the

18:46

romcom gets interrupted by a slasher, and

18:48

then the slasher just chases them around,

18:50

and this night of horror, as they're

18:53

being chased by this serial killer, is...

18:55

the extension of their meat cute. You

18:57

know, like when like, oh no, we

19:00

hate each other, but we're stuck on

19:02

a bus together, or oh no, we

19:04

hate each other, but we have to

19:07

work on this assignment. And then over

19:09

the course of it, you grow to

19:11

love each other. That's a great pitch,

19:14

and I think Josh Rubin understands Romcoms

19:16

and likes them. Okay. Which I appreciate.

19:18

Even in their banal silliness. And I

19:21

think he clearly loves Slasher movies. And

19:23

as someone who also loves both genres,

19:25

arguably equally, I thought the overall approach

19:27

to this was, it's a little arch

19:30

because both the genres can be a

19:32

little large. But I was charmed by

19:34

this whole movie. I really, really like

19:37

these characters. I thought they had fun

19:39

chemistry together in that banal way. Reuben

19:41

clearly loves the mayhem as well and

19:44

the mayhem is very may. I like

19:46

some of the mayhem. I feel like

19:48

the screenplay is fighting with the director

19:51

in this one. I feel like the

19:53

screenplay is actually funnier than Josh Reuben

19:55

let the material be. I don't know

19:58

why, it felt like he was holding

20:00

back for me. This was supposed to

20:02

be pretty... while it was supposed to

20:05

be a reverent it was supposed to

20:07

be taking a knife to romantic comedies

20:09

it should have been ripping it apart

20:12

a little bit more aggressively I see

20:14

our difference here I see I like

20:16

that it didn't do that okay I

20:19

wish I wish I wish that it

20:21

had yeah there's a scene like for

20:23

instance there's a scene in this movie

20:25

where one of the victims has been

20:28

Because there are many victims in the

20:30

city. One of the victims has been

20:32

taken out by an unusual murder weapon.

20:35

Yeah, that's still like in their body.

20:37

And it's in their bodies. And the

20:39

two protagonists say, well, we need to

20:42

grab that out of the body and

20:44

use it as a weapon ourselves. We

20:46

need a weapon. And they reach out

20:49

and as they grab the weapon, their

20:51

hands touch. Yeah. And it's on the

20:53

page that's cute. In practice, it feels

20:56

really kind of like the director didn't

20:58

know if that was supposed to be.

21:00

Scary uncomfortable funny slapstick like the tone

21:03

never really emerged in that moment I'm

21:05

waiting for you know like like a

21:07

Mark Waters moment where there's like a

21:10

kind of an element of wickedness where

21:12

there's some kind of attack on genre

21:14

happening with these things and I feel

21:17

like Josh Rubin is being so respectful

21:19

of both genres that he comes across

21:21

as a very timid director. He's not

21:23

letting this become like emerges a true

21:26

slasher, a true satire, or just something

21:28

that's a lot of fun bloody mayhem.

21:30

Well, I think a lot of this

21:33

also comes from the lead, the two

21:35

lead actors. Okay. Because they were perfectly

21:37

cast as the leads of a bland

21:40

romantic comedy. Exactly. Jessica Roth in something

21:42

like Happy Death Day, who brought so

21:44

much verse and so much charm to

21:47

this kind of slasher film meets Groundhog

21:49

Day movie, that the premise was fun,

21:51

but she made it. She brought all

21:54

this humanity. And I feel like he

21:56

was so eager to make these characters.

21:58

kind of like blandly fall in love

22:01

that they weren't able to break out

22:03

and become truly human. Okay, you've listed

22:05

a lot of things here and I'm

22:08

trying to remember them all so I

22:10

can tell you my take on them

22:12

because I disagree on a lot of

22:15

them. But the gist of what you're

22:17

saying though is that you thought this

22:19

movie should be sort of a slasher

22:21

movie attacking a romcom, like taking it

22:24

down, right? Be gross, be shocking, it's

22:26

pretty gross. Shocking and gross enough to

22:28

balance the romantic comedy stuff. Okay, see

22:31

here's the thing. I think, okay, when

22:33

I think about this movie, and this

22:35

is gonna relate to the next movie

22:38

review Love Hurts as well. There's

22:42

there's two kinds of people who want

22:44

to see a movie on Valentine's Day

22:46

and people who want to see a

22:48

movie for Valentine's Day and a movie

22:50

people want to see counter programming for

22:53

Valentine's Day and a movie that is

22:55

a genre hybrid like like here's a

22:57

terrible example, but it's a it's a

22:59

It's a good example, but it's a

23:01

terrible movie argile. Okay. Argyll. It's like

23:03

okay. I want to see romantic comedy

23:06

I want to see an action movie.

23:08

Let's a shitty version of both and

23:10

then no one's happy yeah like that's

23:12

Not taking it down a pack. I

23:14

think not it's this isn't scream. This

23:16

isn't trying to tear down either genre

23:19

so we can build it back up

23:21

again It's just doing it. Yeah, and

23:23

I and I love that and again,

23:25

this is someone who loves these things

23:27

unironically like I I've given favorable reviews

23:29

to very formulaic slash movies and very

23:32

formula like Romcom's because I think there

23:34

is a certain, almost a delicate aloofness

23:36

to making a romcom where like you

23:38

just kind of want to get out

23:40

of their way and not like ruin

23:42

the natural charm of it. I think

23:45

Josh Rubin and I think this comes

23:47

from Wherewalls within the love story and

23:49

Wherewalls Within, but of the two main

23:51

characters, one of the fine treb and

23:53

Sam Richardson. I wanted them to end

23:55

up together so bad. They had such

23:58

great chemistry. It was really cute. I

24:00

think Josh Rubin has a knack with

24:02

that. And I think what he's doing

24:04

here, it's like, okay, listen, you want

24:06

to go see the Perfect Valentine's Day

24:08

movie? Here's a good, here's a good,

24:11

here's a good, here's a good Roncom.

24:13

Maybe not one for the ages, but

24:15

it's going to hit all the beats

24:17

and it's a good slasher, and you

24:19

get to have both. And that scene

24:21

you're talking, you're talking, and you're like,

24:24

what is that trying to convey? Ruben

24:26

is having both of these moments, this

24:28

like slasher-kill moment, and also this romcom

24:30

moment, but he keeps the camera focused

24:32

on the dead, pathetic eyes of the

24:34

person who's been killed by this murder

24:37

weapon, and it's like a front and

24:39

center in the camera for so long,

24:41

and I was laughing my ass off

24:43

because... We've kind of lost the thread

24:45

in this, haven't we? We're getting distracted.

24:47

That didn't read though. I read to

24:50

me. Didn't have a lot of energy

24:52

to it. I thought it read. It

24:54

was so flat. I thought it read.

24:56

I thought it read. I thought it

24:58

read. I thought it read. I thought

25:01

it read. I thought it read. I

25:03

thought it read. Listen. I think. Listen,

25:05

I think. Like if there was a

25:07

moment. I thought it read. Listen, I

25:09

thought it read. I read. Listen. Listen,

25:11

I thought it read. Listen, I read.

25:14

Listen, listen. Listen, I think. Listen, I

25:16

think. Listen, I think. Listen, I think.

25:18

Listen, I think. room's version. Yeah, don't

25:20

go a little, no, don't do a

25:22

spoof, just go further with it so

25:24

it actually reads and you don't get

25:27

two flat versions of two banal genres.

25:29

But again, I think when you're doing

25:31

that though, you run the risk of

25:33

undermining both genres and I think what

25:35

Rubin is trying to do pretty delicately

25:37

is to leave them both standing. And

25:40

I think that's tricky and I can

25:42

appreciate that you thought that that was...

25:45

I don't know, maybe thematically uninteresting or

25:47

I just feel like that's what the

25:49

screenplay was getting at. There were a

25:51

lot of lines of dialogue that we're

25:53

meant to kind of skewer the scene

25:56

it was in, but the director isn't

25:58

like leaning into the humor of it.

26:00

He's just sort of delivering it kind

26:02

of. Yeah, I love that. That's not

26:04

funny. I thought it was really funny

26:07

because I'm really funny because these characters

26:09

are kind of oblivious to the movie

26:11

that they're in. They're either oblivious that

26:13

they're in a romantic comedy or they're

26:15

oblivious that they're in a horror movie

26:18

and the audience is keyed into this.

26:20

Again, it's only lightly self-aware, it's self-aware

26:22

to the audience but not the characters.

26:24

Yeah. So like we're doing this so

26:26

bluntly. It's like... I like horror movies

26:29

where you can see, not universally, but

26:31

I think this is something horror gets

26:33

away with better than many other movies,

26:35

where you can see the hand of

26:37

the director, you can see the puppeteer

26:40

above the thing, and you can see

26:42

him kind of grinning with delight as

26:44

he's about to do something kind of

26:46

menacing or kind of goofy. And I

26:48

think this is a very filmmaker personality

26:50

driven. movie and I just I keyed

26:53

into this one's personality I really did

26:55

feel like this is a movie that

26:57

loves romantic comedies even the bad ones

26:59

here's a movie that loves slash movies

27:01

even the bad ones and it's trying

27:04

to find the right balance so that

27:06

we can do both simultaneously and if

27:08

that maybe if we had picked one

27:10

more than the other maybe if we'd

27:12

gone harder with you know sort of

27:15

criticism or satire you would have had

27:17

something Maybe more pronounced, maybe even better,

27:19

I don't know, but I like what

27:21

we got, frankly. Well, if it's just

27:23

doing these two genres at the same

27:26

time, what would be the... I feel

27:28

like there's no function of blending them

27:30

then, if you're just sort of doing

27:32

two banal genres, and you're balancing them,

27:34

but you're not doing anything special with

27:37

either one. You're just getting, well, two

27:39

boring movies of two opposing genres, but...

27:41

It's not becoming any less boring in

27:43

the exchange. Well, first off, I wasn't

27:45

bored. But setting that aside, I would

27:48

argue, I would argue it does two

27:50

things. I would argue, and they're interrelated.

27:52

And that's one that we're showing that,

27:54

and I've been saying this for many

27:56

years, the romcom genres and the slasher

27:59

genres only appear like their polar opposites.

28:01

But all of that super. and indeed

28:03

all of this artifice artificiality all this

28:05

contrivance that we associate with both yeah

28:07

they interlock and they're connected and I

28:10

found that to be you know it's

28:12

not a brilliant thesis or anything but

28:14

like I think it I think it

28:16

proves its point pretty effectively and again

28:18

I think this is a I This

28:21

isn't a great title for this kind

28:23

of subgenre, but maybe I can't think

28:25

of anything better. It's a compromise movie.

28:27

Again, again, I want to see a

28:29

horror movie. You're both pretty happy as

28:32

opposed to you're both pretty disappointed. And

28:34

I think that is, and I think

28:36

I think we've seen over and over

28:38

again, and I think we're gonna see

28:40

in like a minute or two, that

28:42

how easy that is to get fucked

28:45

up. Yeah, well, I'm with that entirely.

28:47

I know, I know this is a

28:49

very different kind of movie, but there

28:51

was a horror romance from last year

28:53

that I was very fond of, called

28:56

Lisa Frankenstein. Oh, yeah. A teenage girl,

28:58

I think it's set in the 1980s,

29:00

it was, resurrects a man in, or,

29:02

or... Has a has a frank and

29:04

signer to closet there was a there's

29:07

a the she passed through graveyard all

29:09

the time She has kind of like

29:11

this parasol relationship with this one dead

29:13

guy and Something happens and he's resurrected

29:15

and in order to sort of fix

29:18

him up. She keeps giving him body

29:20

parts. Oh, we can't talk I need

29:22

to find a tongue and that kind

29:24

of yeah, electrocutes him in her tanning

29:26

bed. Yeah, very very very very good

29:29

The thing is that's a sweet romance

29:31

because we understand both Lisa Frankenstein and

29:33

the monster in that one. We understand

29:35

why they would be drawn to one

29:37

another and at the same time, it's

29:40

sick because they keep murdering people and

29:42

the foolishness makes the romance sweeter. I

29:44

feel like this isn't something where Hard

29:46

eyes isn't like adding salt to caramel

29:48

to make the caramel sweeter. It's just,

29:51

it's a plate of chocolate and a

29:53

plate of peanut butter and they're not

29:55

mashed together. Good! That's how I like

29:57

them! I don't like peanut butter and

29:59

chocolate together. I don't think we're okay.

30:02

Well, I get that everyone else's gonna

30:04

love that. Here's what I'll say, but

30:06

Lisa Frankenstein. And that's my way I

30:08

didn't review when it came out. I

30:10

missed it. I caught up with it.

30:13

I love it. It's a fun movie.

30:15

It's really sweet. It's really cute. It's

30:17

really funny. If we're looking at sort

30:19

of the genre mashup of it. That's

30:21

a movie where the comedy I would

30:24

say is that like 70 75% and

30:26

the horror is at 25% It's pronounced

30:28

you can't miss it But it's not

30:30

trying to have literally both work at

30:32

the same time Yeah, and I would

30:34

think it's but I think hard eyes

30:37

I understand it can be done. My

30:39

point is you don't have to do

30:41

it, and I think hard eyes was

30:43

going for a 50-50 Okay, and that's

30:45

a bad blend. I think that's a

30:48

good one. We completely disagree on this

30:50

one and that is totally okay. I

30:52

thought I had a really good time.

30:54

I didn't Like, I don't think it's

30:56

going to be my best-year movies of

30:59

the year list or anything like that,

31:01

but this is absolutely a movie I

31:03

would watch again on Valentine's Day. I

31:05

would actually like, oh, it's Valentine's Day.

31:07

Oh, we should watch, we should watch

31:10

Hard-Eyes. Because that's a Valentine's Day theme,

31:12

more so than my bloody Valentine, which

31:14

the connection between those movies and Valentine's

31:16

Day is pretty continuous. Especially for horror

31:18

fans who like to watch a lot

31:21

of us slasher movies, we do tend

31:23

to judge them on a sliding scale.

31:25

Don't we? This this, we have to

31:27

admit to this, a lot of, Rome

31:29

comes to the same way. Rome comes

31:32

to the same way, but when it

31:34

comes to slasher movies, the structure is

31:36

pretty much identical. The characters behave idiotically.

31:38

They do risky things that they don't

31:40

have to because we know they need

31:43

to become human meat. At the end

31:45

of the day, we start to judge

31:47

these films based on their style, maybe

31:49

a little bit of the different kinds

31:51

of characters. Does the character have an

31:54

arc? Are they played by an interesting

31:56

actor? And most importantly, are the kills

31:58

exciting? Oh, that's big part. Yeah. Yeah.

32:00

If you can murder somebody in a

32:02

way I've never seen before I'm gonna

32:05

get a little excited. Yeah. And I

32:07

feel like hard eyes as a slasher

32:09

only has a few fleeting moments of

32:11

that. And I feel like the romance

32:13

that they're putting on top of it

32:15

doesn't have enough personality or character on

32:18

to itself. It doesn't have enough dazzle

32:20

or charm to... supplement what's missing from

32:22

the Slashers. So we have two kind

32:24

of half movies that I think don't

32:26

complete each other. All right, well I

32:29

disagree a lot, but I do see

32:31

your point and I think you're very

32:33

wrong. But I will say this, I

32:35

think that we come back, the reason

32:37

why we tend to judge Slashers, and

32:40

indeed Romcom's on a sliding scale. Because

32:42

again, we expect so little of them.

32:44

You know, and I think what tends

32:46

to happen is that these movies, I

32:48

actually haven't checked how hard ice is

32:51

doing and rotten tomatoes, I think it's

32:53

doing okay. But these kinds of movies,

32:55

a horror movie or romantic comedy, they

32:57

tend to not be critically evaluated very

32:59

highly when they come out. A few

33:02

exceptions here and they're notwithstanding. And then

33:04

years later, everyone's like, can you know

33:06

a movie's fun? Hard eyes. Hey, you

33:08

know how it was fun? Love actually.

33:10

You know what it was fun? The

33:13

holiday. And then, oh yeah, that's a

33:15

classic now. We just called it. We're

33:17

doing it. We're doing it now. And

33:19

I feel like hard ice is one

33:21

of those. I don't know how much

33:24

money it made. I hope it did

33:26

okay. I'm sure it was cheap. But

33:28

I do feel like this is a

33:30

movie. But people are going to cozy

33:32

up to this one. People are going

33:35

to cozy up to this one and

33:37

people are going to find it, you

33:39

know, just kind of charming. It's an

33:41

easy movie to revisit. Talk about Valentine's

33:43

Day and comment on Valentine's Day. You

33:46

remove Valentine's Day from this movie. It's

33:48

a different movie Which I can't say

33:50

for every Valentine's Day movie. We'll get

33:52

to love hurts in a minute But

33:54

but no, I do listen a lot.

33:57

There's one other little thing I want

33:59

to talk about before I move on

34:01

and this is this is this is

34:03

a pet peeve of mine it's a

34:05

pet fascination okay of mine there is

34:07

a there are two detectives in this

34:10

movie they're played by Devin Sawa and

34:12

Jordana Brewster the big gets yeah big

34:14

stars for this yeah and those are

34:16

good gets they're really really fun and

34:18

they're on the track of the hard

34:21

ice killer and their names in the

34:23

in the in the movie Devin and

34:25

Jordana Brewster are detectives Hobbs and Shaw

34:27

oh I didn't catch that you they

34:29

They literally talked about it in dialogue.

34:32

Oh, did they? Yes, there was a

34:34

whole joke. They introduced themselves as Hobbs

34:36

and Shaw, and I think Olivia Holt's

34:38

character says, really, Hobbs and Shaw? Yeah,

34:40

like the movie? It's like, yeah, we

34:43

don't really talk about that. Maybe there's

34:45

a scene I went to the bathroom.

34:47

Wait, wait a minute. Don't go to

34:49

the bathroom. What is this, avatar too?

34:51

You're not allowed to go to the

34:54

bathroom. And

34:56

I drink a lot of tea.

34:58

Anyway, my point is this. There's

35:00

a scene in the movie where

35:02

Devonsong or Jodanna Brewster referenced explicitly

35:04

in dialogue the Hobbs and Shaw

35:06

Fast and Furious movies. Jordana Brewster

35:08

is in Fast and Furious. So

35:11

we have another Last Action Hero

35:13

situation, which we know because of

35:15

the rules of Last Action Hero,

35:17

that within this universe, the Fast

35:19

and Furious movies exist, but Jordana

35:21

Brewster was not in them. So,

35:24

here's the question we have to ask,

35:26

who, much like Sylvester Stallone played The

35:28

Terminator in Last Action Hero in a

35:30

universe where Arnold Schwarzenegger played another character.

35:32

Who played Jordana Brewster's character in the

35:34

Fast and Furious? Why can't Georgana Brewster

35:36

do that now? Because those aren't the

35:39

rules. We established this in Last Action

35:41

Hero. Every movie has Last Action Hero.

35:43

I would think that this cop, the

35:45

Shaw character that Georgana Brewster plays in

35:47

Hard Eyes, just happens to look a

35:49

lot like the actress Georgana Brewster. Uh-huh.

35:51

No, I don't buy that for one

35:53

fucking second. This isn't... We're not doing

35:55

Ocean's 12 rules. These are Last Action

35:57

Hero rules. Hero Rules! So we have

35:59

to turn it up. Because it would

36:01

have come up, we're talking about it

36:03

right to her face. Someone said, hey,

36:05

don't you look just like, oh, we

36:07

didn't do that, did we? So we

36:09

know this is last action hero rules.

36:11

My theory, and I'm curious if anyone

36:13

has a better one. Dordana

36:16

Brewster was a young star when that

36:18

movie came out just coming hot off

36:20

the faculty. She was also coming off

36:22

of a brief but noteworthy stint on

36:25

As the World Turns. So she must

36:27

have been replaced by another As the

36:29

World Turns alumnus who would have been

36:31

approximately age appropriate. I give it, I

36:34

put it to you. Okay. Audience. That

36:36

in the Hard Eyes universe, and Josh

36:38

Ruben, if you are listening, I need

36:40

your input on this. I have asked

36:42

directors about this kind of thing before

36:45

and they always go like, huh? No.

36:47

They haven't thought about it? I think

36:49

Josh Ruben thought about this. This is

36:51

my theory. I could be wrong. I

36:54

bet he thought about this. Josh Ruben,

36:56

if you're listening, in the Hard Eyes

36:58

universe, in the Fast and Furious, was

37:00

the Jordan Brewster character played by Emmy

37:03

Ross. You know in somebody pointed this

37:05

out to me because I haven't watched

37:07

either show. But evidently there's an episode

37:09

of The Sopranos. Okay. Where somebody has

37:11

a TV on in the background and

37:14

they're watching an episode of The Gilmore

37:16

Girls. Ah. And it's not just on

37:18

in the background. Evidently there's like dialogue.

37:20

They're talking about watching the Gilmore Girls.

37:23

Isn't this funny Gilmore Girls? Yeah. And

37:25

they comment on talking about the Sopranos.

37:27

So they are shows in each other's

37:29

universe. See what I mean? It's like

37:31

the reality is tied in a knot,

37:34

man. Yeah, no, exactly. That's exactly it.

37:36

That's exactly it. That's exactly the fucking

37:38

point. So yeah, which of these is

37:40

the real world? And which one of

37:43

the TV? Well, this is the real

37:45

world. Those are both last action hero

37:47

universes. Correct me if I'm wrong, when

37:49

we reviewed, we did a whole, on

37:52

our Patreon page, patron.com/critically acclaimed network, we

37:54

did a whole series called Holy Batman

37:56

with the W-H-O-L-L-L-Y, entirely Batman, and which

37:58

we reviewed every single Adam West Batman.

38:00

which was great by the way and

38:03

that's still available even at the one

38:05

dollar a month here at patreon.com/critically acclaimed

38:07

network tons of episodes lots of stuff

38:09

the Green Hornet crossover episode correct me

38:12

if I'm wrong wasn't there also like

38:14

a bit or an episode where either

38:16

Batman and Robin watched the Green Hornet

38:18

or Green Hornet and Cato watched Batman

38:20

and Robin? No, I don't think so.

38:23

I could have sworn. Not like a

38:25

fictional episode of the TV show. No,

38:27

I think it was in the show,

38:29

right? Well, Bruce Wayne and who's the

38:32

Green Hornet. Cato. No, no, the Green

38:34

Hornets. Oh, oh, the Ryan Hart Lane.

38:36

No, no, no, it's, he's like the.

38:38

grandson or great-grandson of the Lone Ranger.

38:41

Yeah. Which is fun, by the way.

38:43

I didn't always know that. Hold on.

38:45

Seth Rogan. Just call him Seth Rogan.

38:47

No, not Seth Rogan. No, not Seth

38:49

Rogan. I know. The Green Hornets real

38:52

name. I was kidding so we could

38:54

move on with the bit because we're

38:56

kind of losing the audience right now.

38:58

Let's see, Van Williams played the Green

39:01

Hornet. The Green Hornet. Uh-huh. in their

39:03

ordinary lives were friends when they were

39:05

used. Sure. Before they became superheroes. Right.

39:07

And I don't think they know the

39:10

schools. I don't think they know that

39:12

the other is a superhero. They don't.

39:14

Yeah, because they were masks. Yeah. Very

39:16

convincing. So that was the mythology of

39:18

the Batman Green Hornet. Crossover. They actually

39:21

knew each other. I just could have

39:23

sworn that maybe it was a joke

39:25

episode of Green Hornet or something. Were

39:27

they were watching Batman? They escape one

39:30

of their many death traps from one

39:32

of the cliffhanger episodes. They get to

39:34

the second episode and rob... and like

39:36

the forces are working in our favor

39:38

like we're being written by somebody like

39:41

Robin has this weird moment of like

39:43

meta self-awareness that the show is is

39:45

fictional, but there's nothing like that with

39:47

green hornet as far as I remember.

39:50

Hang on, hang on, hang on, according

39:52

to, and I'm trying to figure what

39:54

the episode is. I looked it up

39:56

on the on the Batman wiki. There

39:59

is an in-joke on Batman where Bruce

40:01

Wayne and Dick Grayson watched their favorite

40:03

television show, the Green Hornet, while Britt

40:05

Reed and Cato watched their favorite show

40:07

Batman. So that is a thing, I

40:10

don't remember what episode it's in, we're

40:12

done with this conversation, we do have

40:14

to move on, but that is a

40:16

thing. So it's the Sopranos and the

40:19

Gilmore girls and Batman and Green Hornet.

40:21

Those are the universes that have. Tie

40:23

their universes together. Yeah, exactly, and a

40:25

Gordian knot. Okay, moving on. There is

40:27

another genre mashup movie that came out

40:30

this weekend. This is another compromise movie

40:32

in which half of it is kind

40:34

of Romancy and half of it is

40:36

kind of genre-e. Except this time it

40:39

is an action kind of hitman movie.

40:41

Yeah, it's a crime movie. Yeah, this

40:43

is called Love Hurts. It stars Oscar

40:45

winners, Kekui Kwan, and Ariana De Boes.

40:48

Kehui Kwan, who won an Oscar for

40:50

Everything Ever All At Once, he also

40:52

remembered him from Goonies. And also he

40:54

was a fight choreographer, like he worked

40:56

on the first X-Men movie. Yeah, he,

40:59

uh... From what I understand he left

41:01

acting after a while. Yeah, because he

41:03

was an actor as a child and

41:05

then he left acting to be a

41:08

fight choreographer. Yeah, and worked on that

41:10

in film for a while. I don't

41:12

know how much of that was him

41:14

wanting to be a fight choreographer and

41:16

how much was that just work not

41:19

coming his way. Yeah, like whatever it

41:21

was, that's what he did. Yeah, I

41:23

know some actors when their kids give...

41:25

give it up because they can't get

41:28

the work anymore. Yeah. That's even true

41:30

of some of the the Goonies actors.

41:32

Anyway, um, yeah, now we have, uh,

41:34

Kayhui Kwan. He plays the world's most

41:37

chipper real estate agents. Yeah, he loves

41:39

his job. He thinks he's doing wonderful

41:41

things. Somebody will find a home. He

41:43

really believes in what he does. He's

41:45

a very affable, almost naive man. Yeah,

41:48

he lives in an impeccably clean house.

41:50

He goes from house to house outdoors

41:52

in Wisconsin in February and there's no

41:54

snow. Yeah, on a bicycle. Yeah, he

41:57

rides outdoors on a bike. in Wisconsin

41:59

in February. Well, yeah, but that's one

42:01

of the less believable parts of this

42:03

movie. Oh, come on. And you know,

42:05

people from Wisconsin visit like Los Angeles

42:08

and it's like 70 degrees out and

42:10

people are wearing their sweaters and they're

42:12

just like, you fuckers. Like, that's that's

42:14

that. That's him being just for Wisconsin.

42:17

He goes to his office one day

42:19

on Valentine's Day. Big Valentine's Day office

42:21

party. He has a secretary who's very

42:23

bitter about Valentine's Day. He goes into

42:26

his office and wouldn't you know if

42:28

there's a cartoon assassin guy in there?

42:30

Yeah, like a character you might run

42:32

into in an anime. It's just gigantic,

42:34

outsized, big, wacky haircut and personality. He

42:37

fancies himself a poet. Yeah, he reads

42:39

poetry and he has like knife contraptions

42:41

on his. person. He's a knife guy.

42:43

Yeah, like pulls these gigantic blades out

42:46

of his, yeah, souls of his shoes

42:48

and attaches them to his wrists. Which,

42:50

by the way, you would not be

42:52

able to run in those. No. There's

42:54

no fucking way to be able to

42:57

run out. That is a terrible design

42:59

choice for a mercenary. Also, one of

43:01

the first things he does is he

43:03

stabs our hero through the hand. Yeah,

43:06

pins it to the desk. Which is

43:08

a thing that you can do in

43:10

a movie that you can do in

43:12

a movie. Buggy five minutes like he

43:15

doesn't even like down some IP profan

43:17

like he's just he's just fine It's

43:19

like being shot. There's there's even a

43:21

plot point in hard eyes or somebody

43:23

gets shot and like the next scene

43:26

It's like, okay, I'm fine. They're not

43:28

even in a sling. Like, they got,

43:30

you got shot. Yeah, but it's in

43:32

a movie, again, last action hero rules.

43:35

You know, they get shot in the

43:37

real world, you might die, and then

43:39

they shove Ronald Schwarzenegger back into the

43:41

movie world, and the doctor's like, oh,

43:44

I wouldn't even call this a flesh

43:46

wound. Like, that's where we are. We're

43:48

in movie land. We're in movie land.

43:50

This is definitely a very over-the-the-the-the-the-the-top, Marvin?

43:52

I think it's Marvin. Melvin or Marvin?

43:55

Marvin Gable. Marvin Gable, that's it. Marvin

43:57

is able to fight him off. It

43:59

turns out he has ample martial arts

44:01

skills that he had not told anybody

44:04

else about. In a nutshell, we learned

44:06

very, very quickly that Marvin used to

44:08

be an assassin hitman mafia goon for

44:10

hire for his brother. For his brother.

44:12

He worked for his brother, a guy

44:15

named Knuckles. Great brother name. A gangster

44:17

who's obsessed with Boba. That's his quirk.

44:19

There is a weird parallel between love

44:21

hurts and heart eyes where they're both

44:24

weirdly into straws. It's like a plot

44:26

point involving violent hurts as well. It's

44:28

weirdly specific, but in any case, um...

44:30

You're right, there's two scenes of violence

44:33

involving straws in each of these movies.

44:35

In both compromise Valentine's Day movies, it

44:37

opened on the same day. I'm sure

44:39

it's a coincidence, but it's a weird

44:41

one. Anyway, he left the business and

44:44

it was kind of like John Wick,

44:46

he was like given permission provided he

44:48

do one last thing. Yeah. And the

44:50

thing was he was he was supposed

44:53

to kill this woman who had embezzled

44:55

from knucklesle from Knucklesle from Knucklesle from

44:57

Knuckles, played by Knuckles, played by Knuckles,

44:59

played by... Ariana DeBost, but we learned

45:01

very very quickly that he didn't do

45:04

that because he was in love with

45:06

her and he told her I'm gonna

45:08

pretend I'm gonna tell her when you're

45:10

dead you fake your own death and

45:13

get out of town. She's back in

45:15

town, she's tired of hiding and she's

45:17

ready to basically get her revenge, fuck

45:19

him up, but also try to get

45:22

Marvin's mojo back. Which is weird because

45:24

I never got the impression. The chemistry

45:26

between these two characters is nil. None.

45:28

There's no romantic romantic chemistry. He's like

45:30

an uncle, she barely talks to. Well,

45:33

he's also twice her age. Yeah, Asia

45:35

was just pretty pronounced in this one,

45:37

and you can sometimes get away with

45:39

that in a movie, but frankly, at

45:42

a point where it's pretty hard to

45:44

pull off. Yeah, so I would buy

45:46

that he fell in love with her

45:48

and let her go. Yeah. But I

45:50

don't sense any kind of romantic. None.

45:53

reciprocity from her. And I know that

45:55

she can play that. I saw West

45:57

Side Story. I know he can play

45:59

that. I saw everything ever all at

46:02

once. They're very mismatch. They don't have

46:04

enough material together that gives them an

46:06

opportunity to really build their relationship. But

46:08

I know they're both good individually. Like,

46:11

Kekwai Kwan, even though this movie isn't

46:13

great. I think I like it a

46:15

little more than you do, but like,

46:17

let's happen nuts. He's... Roncom material. He's

46:19

perfect for this. Like he's seriously, like

46:22

if Hugh Grant could fight... This is

46:24

that character. You can totally just switch

46:26

that around. He's exactly that kind of

46:28

lovably befuddled, sincere, thrust into a situation

46:31

that kind of is opposite of his

46:33

personality. You know, this is Mickey Blue

46:35

Eyes with good fights. And I will

46:37

say this, as these characters, you know,

46:39

kind of run around trying to avoid

46:42

these various goons, and it's a bunch

46:44

of goons, with different personalities, wacky sidekick.

46:46

Yeah. there's a there's the blade assassin

46:48

that we mentioned before there's the right-hand

46:51

guy played by cam gigandette jigandette yeah

46:53

never never pronounced that I think it's

46:55

gigandé but yeah but yeah but yeah

46:57

so we're all these guys like a

47:00

gangster guy who's in trouble and so

47:02

there's some fights right up front so

47:04

yeah there's that one right at the

47:06

beginning then we get introduced to Martian

47:08

Lynch and like has the other goon

47:11

that are constantly beating people up. There's

47:13

a really fun fight in a kitchen

47:15

where we see it from like from

47:17

within various appliances as they're being used

47:20

as weapons. This was directed by a

47:22

former like fight choreographer and it's a

47:24

very very clear that's where his interests

47:26

lied. Because the fights are pretty good

47:29

actually. The fights are pretty good the

47:31

credit. The fights are pretty good and

47:33

he's trying to let Kihui Kwan and

47:35

the stunt performers have their show. Yeah.

47:37

So he's keeping the camera back he's

47:40

letting them do their stunts. And they're

47:42

good fights. There's a lot of silence.

47:44

It also highlights that in other movies

47:46

how often they like they might. especially

47:49

in martial arts films, they'll speed up

47:51

the frame rate a tiny bit to

47:53

make it seem that much more in

47:55

like the rhythms hit a little bit.

47:57

No, I remember learning this in film

48:00

school. They said you're doing, if you're,

48:02

a friend of mine was doing, like

48:04

for a cinematography project, you want to

48:06

do a fight movie. And they said,

48:09

okay, listen, 24 frames per second is

48:11

a standard for a fight scene, 22.

48:13

Yeah. It's almost imperceptible. It just gives

48:15

it a little bit. CRISPR. You know?

48:18

But you can tell that the director

48:20

is so fond of the stunt choreographers,

48:22

he doesn't want to do that for

48:24

that. Yeah. Which means... it feels a

48:26

little off those white scenes and ironically

48:29

that's more realistic it's more realistic yeah

48:31

that's that's thing would make it feel

48:33

like more realistic but as such less

48:35

like an action picture yeah so there

48:38

there is an irony there's an irony

48:40

work there and it's interesting and it's

48:42

one of those things where it's like

48:44

I feel like some people have a

48:46

very specific idea in their head of

48:49

what an action sequence is supposed to

48:51

look like and no it's actually pretty

48:53

pretty versatile and I think it's pretty

48:55

consistent about its application about its application

48:58

about it I still rumble in the

49:00

Bronx, which was a Jackie Chan film,

49:02

and they did that in almost every

49:04

scene, where they were speeding things up

49:07

really fast. Yeah, again, again, imperceptibly for

49:09

the best part, you know, this isn't

49:11

like... Double speed it creates like such

49:13

an exciting rhythm within all these fight

49:15

scenes that when you see one It's

49:18

just stunt people doing really impressive work.

49:20

It's like ah, that's not so impressive.

49:22

You know, but it is it is

49:24

you're still seeing it I remember Reading

49:27

about Bruce Lee and Bruce Lee's action

49:29

sequences were a little different than a

49:31

lot of other people's were in like

49:33

Kung Fu at the time because there's

49:35

this general sense of like yeah, this

49:38

is like an exciting day between like

49:40

two different partners and they fight and

49:42

they fight and they change locations and

49:44

they use different weapons and it goes

49:47

on and on and on and it's

49:49

really really exciting Bruce Lee had a

49:51

very particular idea of what a fight

49:53

scene should be which is if you're

49:56

actually fighting not sparring if you're actually

49:58

fighting you're one of you wants to

50:00

stop or kill the other person the

50:02

fight will not last long because every

50:04

attempt you make to hurt the other

50:07

person is supposed to be a disabling

50:09

or a killing blow yeah so Bruce

50:11

Lee's fight scenes were usually pretty short.

50:13

but they were incredible just like displays

50:16

of power and prowess which is one

50:18

reason why a lot of Bruce Lee

50:20

movies with the I think the big

50:22

exception is like the end of enter

50:24

the dragon and also the Chuck Norris

50:27

fight at the end of return to

50:29

the dragon but all the other like

50:31

big fights that he has it's him

50:33

versus multiple guys yeah so he only

50:36

has to do a couple of hits

50:38

per guy but there's a lot of

50:40

them so you get the long fight

50:42

scene but you still have a somewhat

50:45

more realistic of what a fight between

50:47

two people who are trying to hurt

50:49

each other would be. Yeah, it's the

50:51

difference between the sword fights you might

50:53

see in a three musketeers movie, which

50:56

go on and on and on, and

50:58

there's rapiers and clinging and what have

51:00

you, or a samurai battle, which is

51:02

supposed to be... One stroke, and it's

51:05

over and somebody's dead. If you're hit

51:07

by the sword, you're done. You're probably

51:09

90% chance that you're dead. Like, yeah.

51:11

So there's that great scene in Seven

51:14

Samurai where two samurai are dueling and

51:16

they're dealing with sticks because they don't

51:18

want to kill each other. And they're

51:20

dealing with sticks because they don't want

51:22

to kill each other. And they both

51:25

like hit at what looks like the

51:27

exact same time and guys like, well,

51:29

it was a tie. So now that

51:31

guy's dead. So it's one of those

51:34

things where, you know, the approach to

51:36

the fight choreography, they're making it playful

51:38

in a lot of other ways. But

51:40

the actual fight choreography is oddly grounded

51:42

in some respects, even though there's some

51:45

ridiculous elements. Like there's this bit. That's

51:47

a fight in the kitchen where March

51:49

on Lynch and the other guy, like

51:51

grab... giant utensils. Yeah, giant fork and

51:54

a giant spoon for like decorations. I

51:56

don't want to see March on Lynch

51:58

fight a guy with a giant fork.

52:00

Who doesn't want to see that? That's

52:03

a good play. There's a little bit

52:05

of novelty. There's a fun bit with

52:07

like a rival realtor who gets involved

52:09

in the fights. Oh yeah, I did

52:11

not, honestly, I did not see where

52:14

that was coming. Yeah, it was pretty

52:16

cool. I knew when they introduced like

52:18

this billboard of this guy. I didn't

52:20

see where they were going with it,

52:23

and I will give them credit. That

52:25

was pretty fine. Yeah. That was genuinely

52:27

funny. I did not see what they

52:29

were going with that at all. So

52:31

we're introduced to all of these characters.

52:34

And this is a pretty short movie.

52:36

It's 83 minutes. Oh yeah. Speeds along.

52:38

Yeah. And... After those few opening fight

52:40

scenes, there is maybe 45 solid minutes

52:43

of exposition where they explain everything over

52:45

and over again and there's flashbacks and

52:47

we have to get the money here

52:49

and I think you're but I'm here

52:52

to get you to get your mojo

52:54

back. I don't know why she wants

52:56

him to get his mojo back. He

52:58

doesn't want his mojo back. He's not

53:00

hiding and miserable like living publicly. He's

53:03

on billboards. He loves his life like

53:05

this life. He loves his life like

53:07

this. by the opposite. Yeah, yeah. Which

53:09

is why this end of this movie

53:12

just does not ring true to me.

53:14

And the way she tries to like

53:16

get him to come out of his

53:18

shell don't doesn't make any sense. There's

53:20

a scene in this movie where in

53:23

a bad way she's kidnapped him like

53:25

she's been working under underground in a

53:27

bar, but she wants to not do

53:29

that anymore. So she's trying to like.

53:32

Hiding isn't living. Hiding isn't living so

53:34

she wants to essentially like kill off

53:36

the gangsters once and for all and

53:38

be free. Right. And he's not hiding.

53:41

He's not hiding. Telling him that means

53:43

nothing. He's living publicly. He's happy. And

53:45

she kidnaps him. Like he gets involved

53:47

in this whole rigmarole. She puts him

53:49

in the front seat of a car

53:52

and she starts driving into traffic. Yeah.

53:54

And then she's like, oh no, no,

53:56

this is gonna prove something, I guess.

53:58

And at the last minute, he grabs

54:01

the wheel and steers them out of

54:03

the way so they don't die. And

54:05

her response is, ah, there he is.

54:07

That doesn't mean shit. Nothing was proven

54:09

in that scene. Like here's what you

54:12

do. Here's what you do. It's like

54:14

you like go down. You bug him

54:16

until you until he does something violent.

54:18

Exactly. Like you like, okay, I'm gonna

54:21

walk down this alley, I'm gonna start

54:23

a fight with a bunch of drunk

54:25

guys. Yeah, and you have to church

54:27

to my rescue and hurt them. Yeah,

54:30

exactly. That would have proved something. That

54:32

just doesn't make any sense. The script

54:34

is all over the place. his real

54:36

estate boss and his real estate boss

54:38

is played by Sean Aston. Oh yeah

54:41

yeah. And that's that whole scene is

54:43

like that's about better movie. Yeah that's

54:45

a different tone entirely from everything else

54:47

in the film. It's lifted off of

54:50

that scene in true romance where Dennis

54:52

Hopper was confronted by Christopher Walken. Right.

54:54

And Dennis Hopper knows he's going to

54:56

be killed by these gangsters. I'm not

54:58

getting out of this room. And he's

55:01

not getting out of it. So there's

55:03

this big long speech where he just

55:05

essentially throws racism at them. Yeah. And

55:07

says all this really racist crap, which

55:10

is sparking their racism in turn and

55:12

like just. He's just trying to insult

55:14

them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he knows

55:16

they're racist. That's all he can do

55:19

at that point is, and I suspect

55:21

Dennis Opera's character in the movie is

55:23

also pretty racist. But regardless, all he

55:25

can do is hurt their feelings. Yeah.

55:27

So he's gonna do that. Yeah. I

55:30

don't know if you can do that.

55:32

He actually comes out with there's more

55:34

dignity in it. Well, Sean Aston is

55:36

such a sweet character and I buy

55:39

it from Sean Aston because he's such

55:41

a sweet guy. Any other movie, there'd

55:43

be like some downside, like he was

55:45

a Flanderer or incompetent. No, he's a

55:48

really nice guy. Also a cute little

55:50

Gooney's reunion. Yeah, Sean Aston, Kahuikwan. I'm

55:52

not a big Gooney's fan. I just

55:54

know the movie. I know the movie.

55:56

I'm not either, honestly, honestly, I think

55:59

it. There's stuff I like in it,

56:01

but it's always been a miscalculation I

56:03

feel in a lot of ways. So,

56:05

and this movie is a big

56:07

miscalculation. Like I said, it is

56:10

all exposition. And speaking of scenes

56:12

that lift out of like true

56:14

romance, that was a film that

56:16

was written by Quentin Tarantino. Yeah.

56:18

When Tarantino made Reservoir Dogs and

56:21

especially pulp fiction in the early

56:23

90s, there was this huge wave

56:25

of... really stylized completely flippant really

56:27

quirky super violent action comedies yeah

56:29

that flooded the marketplace specifically to

56:31

imitate the success of pulp fiction

56:34

specifically the idea that here are

56:36

people who are criminals characters who

56:38

conventionally in movies to this point

56:40

have been taken very seriously as

56:43

characters or dangerously as characters but

56:45

like what pulp fiction did And it

56:47

had been done before, like solidified it,

56:49

was the idea that when they're not

56:51

on the clock, they're just guys. And

56:54

they're just having regular guy conversations about

56:56

popular culture and restaurants and that kind

56:58

of stuff. And there was a certain

57:00

cognitive dissonance to that that was just

57:03

bizarre. Here are two hit men talking

57:05

about what they call a Big Mac

57:07

in France. So... And the deal is

57:10

they're so inert to violence. They'll do

57:12

this really brutally violent thing and brains

57:14

will splatter every way. But they will

57:16

be unaffected. I shot a guy. And

57:19

listen, he got a lot of that

57:21

from, actually a lot of those characters

57:23

were based on Henry Silva, I forget

57:25

the other actor's name, in this great

57:28

movie, The Italian Connection, but also, film

57:30

by stage-run Suzuki, there's a total tradition

57:32

of... Criminals have weird rules and

57:34

social strata and interactions and they're kind

57:36

of funny and and but like yeah

57:39

we had what we had truth of

57:41

consequences New Mexico suicide kings was one

57:43

of those things to do in Denver

57:45

when you're dead goodbye lover was there

57:47

were destiny turns on the radio which

57:49

turned in with in yeah yeah to

57:51

a lesser degree very bad things which

57:54

we did a commentary they started kind

57:56

of moving off in another direction like

57:58

clay pigeons is definitely up that ilk

58:00

but it's kind of moving into

58:02

more of a horror serial killer

58:04

realm yeah but dark but like

58:07

yeah I'll get shorty I think

58:09

oh very much well because he

58:11

was very inspired by all more

58:13

Leonard as well that whole vibe

58:15

of like criminals are just guys

58:17

that a lot of that's in

58:19

fact I've turned to you know

58:21

adapted another all more Leonard novel

58:23

that's what Jackie Brown is and

58:26

I still may think that's his

58:28

best movie I'm not going to

58:30

comment just in case but uh

58:32

I feel like Love hurts weirdly

58:34

is like lifting from that particular

58:36

window Yeah, of time where there's

58:38

a bunch of flippant killers Yeah,

58:40

they all have a quirk of

58:43

some kind and the filmmakers are

58:45

trying to Cover the fact that

58:47

they have a really weak story

58:49

or don't have like really good

58:51

characters or maybe even a sucky

58:53

script by piling in all of

58:55

these kinds of like quirky things

58:57

that are supposed to delight us,

58:59

look a little strange, keep us

59:02

a little bit off balance with

59:04

how a little bit oddball they

59:06

are. It's not oddball enough. It

59:08

takes a genuine oddball to make

59:10

that. I think somebody has to

59:12

have those genuinely strange interests to

59:14

make a genuinely strange movie. The

59:16

director of Love Hurts isn't that

59:19

guy. He's not a weirdo. He's

59:21

trying to make an action movie

59:23

with the stunts that he can,

59:25

but he doesn't have quite enough

59:27

stunts to put together a whole

59:29

film. And so he's trying to

59:31

pat it out with exposition which

59:33

isn't meaningful or emotional or touching.

59:35

Undergirding it with a romance which

59:38

is not at all convincing. And...

59:40

layer on this kind of winky,

59:42

cutesy, cutesy, quirky sense of humor

59:44

that isn't really that funny. So

59:46

there's no single element in love

59:48

hurts that's working. I would argue

59:50

the action of choreography works pretty

59:52

good. Yeah, yeah. I suppose it

59:55

alone. Alone. That works. And this

59:57

is why. Especially the one at

59:59

the end where there's like all

1:00:01

the mayhem finally. I think that's

1:00:03

pretty fun. Actually, really enough I

1:00:05

thought that one kind of let

1:00:07

me down because I thought there

1:00:09

wasn't enough of an escalation at

1:00:11

the end. Like there needed to

1:00:14

be something kind of bigger, heavier,

1:00:16

more dangerous, you know, something it

1:00:18

just kind of felt like we're

1:00:20

just fighting more guys, which is

1:00:22

fine, still a good fight, but

1:00:24

like, this is the climax, go

1:00:26

wild. Be violent, but

1:00:28

also kind of try to balance that

1:00:30

with his peaceful life right and there's

1:00:33

a bit where he's trying to sell

1:00:35

a house to this happy couple of

1:00:37

their first home I meant like very

1:00:39

last fight, but okay. Oh, no. Yeah,

1:00:41

I meant yeah, we're trying to to

1:00:43

Sell a house to a happy couple

1:00:46

while there's an action sequence in the

1:00:48

living room downstairs Don't worry. I'm gonna

1:00:50

call my guys You'll never know all

1:00:52

those bullets were in that wall. Yeah,

1:00:54

I thought that was that those moments

1:00:56

like like that were kind of cute

1:00:58

But yeah, apart from that. Listen, it

1:01:01

doesn't work, but I also don't hate

1:01:03

it because I think Kekly Kwan is

1:01:05

just so affable He's just in a

1:01:07

good way. I use that word too

1:01:09

much, I think. But like, he's a

1:01:11

good leading man. He's so likable. Like,

1:01:13

he can't, he elevates the movie. Maybe

1:01:16

not a lot, but he elevates the

1:01:18

movie. And the fight scenes, and there's

1:01:20

so many of them, it's such a

1:01:22

fight scene forward movie, that the fact

1:01:24

that the fight scenes are good, helped.

1:01:26

hate watching it I can just tell

1:01:29

this isn't working. We'll talk about that

1:01:31

when we do our review around it.

1:01:33

And we got one more movie. This

1:01:35

is a new Netflix comedy co-written by

1:01:37

and starring Amy Schumer who you may

1:01:39

know from her great sketch comedy show

1:01:41

inside Amy Schumer, her stand-up, which I've

1:01:44

been a fan of before, she starred

1:01:46

in and wrote the Jada Apatel Ramcom

1:01:48

train wreck, which I mostly like. I

1:01:50

think that's actually like a pretty good.

1:01:52

It's pretty damn good. I think it

1:01:54

has like a little... a little thing

1:01:56

at the end where I feel like

1:01:59

the movie puts like all the movie

1:02:01

spends so much time getting you to

1:02:03

feel for this very messy person's life

1:02:05

problems that at the end I feel

1:02:07

like the movie has not enough sympathy

1:02:09

for her and she has to like

1:02:12

do this like big declaration of love

1:02:14

and it's kind of artificial blame on

1:02:16

her yeah and and I think that's

1:02:18

an extension though of the character putting

1:02:20

the blame on herself maybe so I

1:02:22

think it functions but I understand what

1:02:24

I feel like it functions but I

1:02:27

understand I feel like in the end

1:02:29

like the relationship between her and Bill

1:02:31

Hater which is they're trying to save

1:02:33

hopefully at the end of it it's

1:02:35

like it's all on her to fix

1:02:37

it and when in actuality I think

1:02:39

there well yeah she messed up like

1:02:42

his big day at work or something

1:02:44

like that he was also not listening

1:02:46

to her needs yeah and he never

1:02:48

is taking the task for his own

1:02:50

part in the relationship falling apart and

1:02:52

I thought that was other otherwise the

1:02:55

movie is actually very thoughtful and and

1:02:57

kind of sweet and they've great chemistry

1:02:59

together but yeah it's kind of wifted

1:03:01

right at the end she also started

1:03:03

and I think she co-wrote the movie

1:03:05

snatched with Goldie Han where she and

1:03:07

Goldie Han were like on vacation and

1:03:10

like Central America South American get kidnapped.

1:03:12

I liked it more than most critics.

1:03:14

I didn't love it, but I just

1:03:16

liked seeing Goldie Hahn again and I

1:03:18

thought she was a good match with

1:03:20

Amy Schumer and I think, um... I

1:03:22

think Joan Cusack played like a badass

1:03:25

in that movie. She's always great. So,

1:03:27

you know, bonus points there. So she

1:03:29

played herself. Well, yeah. I didn't see

1:03:31

the Amy Truman movie. I feel pretty,

1:03:33

which is like, she's like, yeah. Yeah,

1:03:35

okay. Cool. So like, she's, she's, she

1:03:38

has a, uh, She like hits her

1:03:40

head or something like that. She has

1:03:42

self-body issues and yeah, she hits her

1:03:44

head wakes up and those issues are

1:03:46

just suddenly gone. Yeah, she looks in

1:03:48

the mirror and she sees she's like

1:03:50

the most beautiful person in the world.

1:03:53

It's like shallow hell, but it's only

1:03:55

yourself image. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, that's,

1:03:57

it's a good idea. It sounds like

1:03:59

a. message, I bet it's good, I

1:04:01

just never got around to it. So

1:04:03

I think I'm a fan of Amy

1:04:05

Schumer, I didn't have enough everything that

1:04:08

she's done, but I really really like

1:04:10

her vibe. And I really feel like

1:04:12

kind of pregnant is a weird miscalculation,

1:04:14

and I think it's a miscalculation largely

1:04:16

at the... directing phase and in fact

1:04:18

this is going to be another thing

1:04:21

where we were talking about like heart

1:04:23

eyes where you feel that the two

1:04:25

elements of the film were in conflict

1:04:27

with each other and I felt that

1:04:29

the movie was kind of giving them

1:04:31

both equal time and giving them both

1:04:33

equal respect. Here I think it's your

1:04:36

interpretation of heart eyes. I think there

1:04:38

is a serious movie here talking about

1:04:40

real emotional issues and getting me really

1:04:42

invested in her characters plight and then

1:04:44

there is wacky comedy shenanigans shenanigans. And

1:04:48

they undermine each other. So it's harder

1:04:50

to take it seriously when it wants

1:04:52

to be taken seriously because someone's gonna

1:04:54

get in the crash with a Zamboni.

1:04:56

And it's hard to cure so much

1:04:59

about the crash with a Zamboni because

1:05:01

I was kind of emotionally invested in

1:05:03

this. So it's weird. Anyway, the plot

1:05:05

is this. Amy Schumer and her best

1:05:07

friend played by Jillian Bell. They grew

1:05:10

up together. I love Jillian Bell. And

1:05:12

Jillian Bell was married. Amy Schumer has

1:05:14

been in a long-term relationship with Damon

1:05:16

Wayne's Jr. Okay. Who was, I really

1:05:19

like it, which I did more movies,

1:05:21

which something else recently I can remember

1:05:23

what it was. But is it a

1:05:25

long-time relationship with him? It is... I

1:05:27

think it's Valentine's Day or her birthday

1:05:30

or something like that, but it's a

1:05:32

big event and taking her out to

1:05:34

dinner and it seems very very clear

1:05:36

he's going to ask her something very

1:05:38

important. So she assumes he's asking her

1:05:41

to marry her, all of her dreams

1:05:43

are going to come true. She's always

1:05:45

wanted to be a mother. This is

1:05:47

her opportunity to finally get the life

1:05:50

that she always wanted. And she goes

1:05:52

on the date and David Wayne says

1:05:54

there's something I really wanted to ask

1:05:56

you. And the other girl shows up.

1:05:58

Oh, like he had her at the

1:06:01

door. Yeah, like, yeah, just ready to

1:06:03

go. And this is obviously not what

1:06:05

she wanted at all. She's very pissed

1:06:07

and she's offended and she, you know,

1:06:09

they break up and she's miserable. And

1:06:12

then as she is miserable and talking

1:06:14

about how miserable her life is and

1:06:16

how everything sucks. Jillian Bell is like,

1:06:18

oh, by the way, I'm pregnant. Oh,

1:06:20

like, well, that's good for you, but

1:06:23

I... I hate all

1:06:25

of this. She's just jealous and she's

1:06:27

upset and she's got really, you know,

1:06:29

really difficult emotions going and this is,

1:06:31

this is, that's real, like when your

1:06:34

life is hell and someone you care

1:06:36

about, things are going really well for

1:06:38

them. You kind of resent them a

1:06:40

little bit? It's not mature, but like

1:06:42

there's a part of you where it's

1:06:45

just like, what, what, what shit timing?

1:06:47

Anyway, this this goes on for frankly

1:06:49

takes too long to get to the

1:06:51

central plot point But basically the gist

1:06:54

of it is she's shopping with Jillian

1:06:56

Bell for like maternity clothes and they

1:06:58

have at the store like a fake

1:07:00

baby bump So you can try on

1:07:02

for like when you get like bigger

1:07:05

you'll have the dress. And she fakes

1:07:07

it. She fakes it. She puts on

1:07:09

the baby bump, she puts on a

1:07:11

dress, and she didn't mean to at

1:07:13

first, but someone like accident like walks

1:07:16

into her dressing room, sees that she

1:07:18

appears pregnant, and treats her like a

1:07:20

goddess. Like, oh, it's great. Oh, well,

1:07:22

this is great. So she decides to

1:07:24

just go out a bit, try it.

1:07:27

She goes to like a like a...

1:07:29

maternity yoga class. Okay. And everyone treats

1:07:31

her great. It's really really good for

1:07:33

her and then she befriends someone who

1:07:36

actually is pregnant and now she's in

1:07:38

that position you're in in a comedy

1:07:40

where it's been too long that without

1:07:42

saying you're lying that now there's no

1:07:44

easy way out of this and do

1:07:47

you just perpetuate the lie for a

1:07:49

really long time. Also it turns out

1:07:51

that this person she just met. at

1:07:53

the yoga class is the city. of

1:07:55

a guy she had to meet cute

1:07:58

with at another coffee shop where they

1:08:00

had basically the same order weird parallel

1:08:02

with hard eyes. Oh, her eyes opens.

1:08:04

Yeah, yeah, and but she meets Will

1:08:06

Forte. Okay, and Will Forte, who by

1:08:09

the way is great, but they have

1:08:11

a really good chemistry together and I

1:08:13

actually really, I really wish the movie

1:08:15

was just them because... She's really wounded

1:08:18

and he's really wounded. We don't really

1:08:20

get into it, but he's like coming

1:08:22

off of like a really bad breakup

1:08:24

or a divorce or something. And it's

1:08:26

very clear that he is a sweet,

1:08:29

lovable guy who is very scared of

1:08:31

being hurt. Okay. In a way that's

1:08:33

like, he's not preventing him from trying,

1:08:35

but it is definitely something in his

1:08:37

tone that's like, please don't break my

1:08:40

heart. Yeah. And of course, his heart

1:08:42

will be broken because he's being lied

1:08:44

to, and like so he's great. But

1:08:46

yeah, the lie cascades. This is one

1:08:49

of those movies. Will the lie be

1:08:51

revealed? Well, it'd be weird if it

1:08:53

wasn't. Yeah. It'd be weird if it

1:08:55

was never happen. Do you ever see

1:08:57

Little Otique? I never saw Little Otique.

1:09:00

I'm familiar with it. Tell people. It's

1:09:02

pretty obscure. Tell people. It's a Czech

1:09:04

film. By Jan Schmonkemyr, the animator. And

1:09:06

it's about a couple. They want to

1:09:08

have a child. They lose their child.

1:09:11

They lose their child. and they're digging

1:09:13

in their garden and they dig out

1:09:15

like this root yeah that looks a

1:09:17

little bit like it has human features

1:09:19

and limbs yeah you can project it

1:09:22

yeah you can kind of see a

1:09:24

face and she decides to put on

1:09:26

a fake pregnant stomach and says, you

1:09:28

know, well, this thing, this root thing,

1:09:31

we'll dress it in a baby bonnet,

1:09:33

it'll be our baby, we'll put it

1:09:35

in a crib, and I'll pretend to

1:09:37

be pregnant up for nine months up

1:09:39

until then. I've even created different sizes

1:09:42

of baby bumps, of baby bumps, and

1:09:44

I've even created different sizes of baby

1:09:46

bumps, and once nine months are up,

1:09:48

the root thing comes to life, and

1:09:50

it's like meaty. tall and little shop

1:09:53

universe. I'm sure the little shop extended

1:09:55

universe. Little it takes pretty good. I've

1:09:57

heard, I just never got around to

1:09:59

it. I'm a big fan of young

1:10:02

schmunkmire. I'm a huge fan of young

1:10:04

schmunkmire as well. Brilliant filmmaker just never

1:10:06

got around to that one. So yeah,

1:10:08

so but we've got, there's two competing

1:10:10

movies in here. There's this really sweet

1:10:13

romantic comedy, which has a very big

1:10:15

wacky streak, like there's a scene at

1:10:17

the beginning, like there's a scene at

1:10:19

the beginning of the beginning of the

1:10:21

beginning of the beginning of the Just

1:10:24

kind of out of nowhere like we

1:10:26

had this brief scene of the two

1:10:28

of the shimmering bells characters when they're

1:10:30

little kids Talking about what they want

1:10:32

to be when they grow up and

1:10:35

then we cut to you know 30

1:10:37

years later and Amy Schumer is like

1:10:39

waking up and like she sleeps on

1:10:41

a futon so she's folding it back

1:10:44

up and then the futon is some

1:10:46

kind of wacky cartoon futon like with

1:10:48

a giant joker spring in it because

1:10:50

it like flips up and she like

1:10:52

flies across her apartment onto some pillows

1:10:55

and she's like oh that's okay that's

1:10:57

what the pillows are for and I'm

1:10:59

like so that's that's that's a that

1:11:01

is a broad broadly comedic tone Right?

1:11:03

But then you really want us to

1:11:06

get invested in how painful it is

1:11:08

to feel the pressure of wanting motherhood,

1:11:10

to feel all of this anxiety and

1:11:12

neurosis about it. But you keep cutting

1:11:14

back to the wackiness, so I can't

1:11:17

really get as invested in that as

1:11:19

I want to, nor can I laugh

1:11:21

as much at the wackiness because I

1:11:23

understand the... pain at the heart of

1:11:26

it. So this is weird miscalculation where

1:11:28

the pieces should fit. But there's a

1:11:30

total problem. And that can be done.

1:11:32

There's a way to balance, you can

1:11:34

balance, you can balance any genres. You

1:11:37

can. I just think, I think this

1:11:39

one does it poorly because it does

1:11:41

it, like here's a joke that happens

1:11:43

in the movie and there's like a

1:11:45

funny way to do this or a

1:11:48

funny movie in which this occurs and

1:11:50

this movie manages to find the creepiest

1:11:52

way to do it. baby bump for

1:11:54

a lot of the movie. And there's

1:11:57

a lot of gags about her doing

1:11:59

things or falling or something like that

1:12:01

in ways that should be very dangerous,

1:12:03

but it's okay because she's not pregnant.

1:12:05

But no one around her knows she

1:12:08

is. So they're like, oh no, and

1:12:10

they're trying to say, it was like,

1:12:12

no, don't touch me, because they would

1:12:14

find out she's faking it. I don't

1:12:16

know, four or five year old son

1:12:19

or something. I'm always bad with kids

1:12:21

ages, but a little kid. And the

1:12:23

little kid walks up to her brandishing

1:12:25

a knife like chucky and stabs her

1:12:27

in the stomach. Completely unmotivated, just boom!

1:12:30

And then she's just standing there, looking...

1:12:32

It's a real knife. It's a real

1:12:34

fucking knife, it is sticking out of

1:12:36

her stomach. If she hadn't had that

1:12:39

on, she would be dead. If she

1:12:41

was pregnant, she would probably lose the

1:12:43

child. And she's just staring there and

1:12:45

there's this wide shot of her just

1:12:47

looking at this knife, looking at this

1:12:50

kid. And what she just takes out

1:12:52

the knife and she says, don't tell

1:12:54

anybody. And I'm like... Oh my god,

1:12:56

that's so fucking dark. That is a

1:12:58

serial killer killer killer kid. He literally

1:13:01

just tried to kill someone and we

1:13:03

will never reckon with that that never

1:13:05

comes up again The tone of it

1:13:07

is way off. That's so it's like

1:13:10

it accidentally happened like oh, no, I

1:13:12

dropped this knife That that would be

1:13:14

kind of shocking anyway, but no the

1:13:16

kid intentionally stabbed her Like the fucking

1:13:18

omen or something like final destination murder,

1:13:21

but regardless like it's a killer kid

1:13:23

I get you think it's funny, but

1:13:25

this isn't like, if this was like

1:13:27

the John Waters version of this, you

1:13:29

can pull that off? Yeah, if there's

1:13:32

a murderous child and that's sort of

1:13:34

just a comedic conceit of the movie.

1:13:36

Yeah, if it's a dark comedy, you

1:13:38

could have gotten away with that. It

1:13:40

is not a dark comedy, so that

1:13:43

just, it's obviously a broadly comedic scene

1:13:45

that's designed to amuse, but it fails.

1:13:47

It occurs to me that that's the

1:13:49

element that's lacking from all three of

1:13:52

the movies we read this week, that

1:13:54

there isn't a dark sensibility, that none

1:13:56

of these filmmakers know how to tell

1:13:58

a darkly comedic story. They don't want

1:14:00

to do something that's truly violent and

1:14:03

tasteless and balance it out with comedy.

1:14:05

Well, I don't think, I would argue,

1:14:07

That in the case of kind of

1:14:09

pregnant you're making a very specific movie

1:14:11

if you're doing that. Yeah, and they

1:14:14

they don't have to they could do

1:14:16

the cute version of this you can

1:14:18

imagine You know Doris Day in a

1:14:20

movie with that basic plot. Yeah, and

1:14:22

it being very frothy and light and

1:14:25

You know you can And I don't

1:14:27

think that's what Josh Reuben was going

1:14:29

for. I know you'd prefer it if

1:14:31

he did, but I honestly don't think

1:14:34

it's what he was trying to do

1:14:36

and I think he was excited what

1:14:38

he was trying to do, but I

1:14:40

see your point but I see your

1:14:42

point Love hurts probably could have done

1:14:45

with an with an angrier streak, but

1:14:47

like yeah, yeah, it's it's it's When

1:14:49

you're when you're trying to balance two

1:14:51

very different ideas or tones or plots

1:14:53

or genres You really have to make

1:14:56

sure you get the mix right. It

1:14:58

does not have to be 50-50 you

1:15:00

can Keep it 7030, 9010, whatever. But

1:15:02

you do have to know, you have

1:15:05

to pick your battles, you have to

1:15:07

know which scenes are going to do,

1:15:09

which vibe, which tone, which genre is

1:15:11

going to dominate that part, how knowing

1:15:13

you are about it. And yeah, a

1:15:16

genre matchup is very, very tricky. And

1:15:18

oftentimes it feels like... They're often made

1:15:20

by people who would only understand one

1:15:22

genre like the direct I forget I

1:15:24

forget his name the director of love

1:15:27

hurts Clearly understands action movies better than

1:15:29

comedy or romance. Yeah, clearly and and

1:15:31

I think the action stuff is the

1:15:33

best part of that movie I would

1:15:35

argue that Josh Rubin clearly likes romantic

1:15:38

comedies and horror movies equally and I

1:15:40

would argue that I forget who actually

1:15:42

directed kind of pregnant But here we

1:15:44

go, kind of pregnant. Yeah, love hurts

1:15:47

with. What was it, Jonathan, you, um,

1:15:49

you see, you see, you see, you

1:15:51

see, John, you see, again, stunt man,

1:15:53

action choreographer, he's been working for a

1:15:55

long time, kind of pregnant, was directed

1:15:58

by Tyler Spindle, or Spindle, and he

1:16:00

directed the Netflix Romcom, the outlaws, with

1:16:02

Pierce Brosnan, as, oh, my, my future

1:16:04

in-laws are actually, you know, career criminals.

1:16:06

That sounds hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's

1:16:09

kind of that's pretty much the whole

1:16:11

film But yeah, no, it's it's just

1:16:13

It's trying to do two different things.

1:16:15

It's trying to be taken seriously And

1:16:17

it's also trying to run away from

1:16:20

not taking seriously And you can't you

1:16:22

can't do that or at the very

1:16:24

least you can't sustain that at some

1:16:26

point you have to decide what your

1:16:29

movie is and then and it feels

1:16:31

like they decide okay. We're gonna take

1:16:33

this seriously right at the end We're

1:16:35

gonna like have the emotional moments. I

1:16:37

think that's absurdity, but like you know

1:16:40

It's we're gonna deal with the emotional

1:16:42

fallout everything that happened and then wacky

1:16:44

Zamboni shit, and I'm like no You

1:16:46

were right there I feel like handheld

1:16:48

electorate. No, you were doing fine. You

1:16:51

were 30. It's a receptive to courtesy.

1:16:53

I'm reminded of a film I saw

1:16:55

it last year. I guess it was

1:16:57

a year before. I'm called Scrambled, if

1:17:00

you remember that long. I don't. I

1:17:02

don't think I saw that. Scrambled was

1:17:04

a movie about who was the lead

1:17:06

actress. It was, I think it was

1:17:08

Ali Ash, no, is, um, um, Leah

1:17:11

Mc Kendrick. Okay. She was the star,

1:17:13

she was also the writer, she was

1:17:15

also the writer and director and director

1:17:17

and director and director. Sort of was

1:17:19

standing on the on the waning edge

1:17:22

of being a young adult like she's

1:17:24

gonna be an adult now and her

1:17:26

big drama is does she want to?

1:17:28

Frees her eggs for potential pregnancy later

1:17:30

in her life. Yeah because you know

1:17:33

she was she was like in her

1:17:35

mid 30s at the okay so the

1:17:37

moment is to come to consider that

1:17:39

you can afford like like her her

1:17:42

her ovarian reserve is running out. Yeah

1:17:44

okay. And that's something some women face.

1:17:46

Yeah, you, that's the story there, yeah.

1:17:48

but it's like an expensive procedure so

1:17:50

it actually takes like a sizable financial

1:17:53

commitment like this is something she really

1:17:55

has to think about and a lot

1:17:57

of it starts out with this sort

1:17:59

of like wacky romantic comedy she's like

1:18:01

in the big city she's single woman

1:18:04

what is going to do with a

1:18:06

single woman what is going to do

1:18:08

with a single woman what is going

1:18:10

to do with her life and she's

1:18:13

got kind of a wacky family but

1:18:15

as that movie goes on it actually

1:18:17

does become a light comic We understand

1:18:19

that these are funny people, but that

1:18:21

they have real issues. Yeah. No classic,

1:18:24

but it's good. The movie I the

1:18:26

movie I was thinking of Well, I

1:18:28

was thinking of a couple movies and

1:18:30

I referenced them in my review about

1:18:32

how like if you're doing like a

1:18:35

screwball comedy The motivation for the weird

1:18:37

the wacky thing you're doing just needs

1:18:39

to be pretty simple I can bring

1:18:41

in up baby Catherine Hepburn Gets a

1:18:43

leopard. It's technically a gift, but she

1:18:46

decides to keep the leopard. Why? Because

1:18:48

she's the kind of person who do

1:18:50

that? You know, they have to dress

1:18:52

up as women and go on the

1:18:55

run. Why? Because they just saw a

1:18:57

murder and they have to disguise themselves

1:18:59

and it's the first thing that came

1:19:01

up. So there would have been a

1:19:03

similar situation. Just, oh, all of a

1:19:06

sudden we have to come up with

1:19:08

something and now we're stuck like this.

1:19:10

We have to keep up this lie.

1:19:12

Here her motivation is sadness and tragedy.

1:19:14

It's just, it's not the same. The

1:19:17

movie I was thinking of that handled

1:19:19

this sort of deft tone. better while

1:19:21

still veering on serious and ultimately getting

1:19:23

very dark was Clay Duval's happiest season.

1:19:25

Oh, I didn't see happy. Oh, no,

1:19:28

this is the Christmas romance. Yeah, yeah,

1:19:30

yeah, with Chris and Stewart and McKenzie

1:19:32

Davis. Yeah, yeah, really good. That's a

1:19:34

really good movie. Yeah, it was advertised

1:19:37

as a romcom and it is, but

1:19:39

it's also really undermining an element of

1:19:41

the wrong series drama that goes on

1:19:43

with these characters. or about like let's

1:19:45

well hey let's pretend to be married

1:19:48

while we're at this wedding and then

1:19:50

we actually follow up but it turns

1:19:52

out a young lesbian has bigoted parents

1:19:54

and doesn't want to introduce her girlfriend

1:19:56

yeah so the so it's a deal

1:19:59

is I'm gonna take you home to

1:20:01

be my parents but I'm not gonna

1:20:03

tell them we're dating we're dating we're

1:20:05

gonna pretend that you're my best friend

1:20:08

and so it's the deal is I'm

1:20:10

gonna take you home to be my

1:20:12

parents but I'm not the strain that's

1:20:14

about the strain that puts on the

1:20:16

strain that puts on in a way

1:20:19

that isn't cute like in a way

1:20:21

that is actually very damning and I

1:20:23

see how the person you are with

1:20:25

your family because you're not being yourself

1:20:27

is not the same person and you're

1:20:30

you're hurting yourself and you're hurting me

1:20:32

and you're hurting me and ultimately it

1:20:34

is about how that deception is a

1:20:36

fucking tragedy and it's still funny but

1:20:38

it's in a darker way than you

1:20:41

expect going in it's great movie and

1:20:43

the movie confronts those things Backtrack, like

1:20:45

there's this really sad thing that happens

1:20:47

like one of the like the cookiest

1:20:50

member of the family had like painted

1:20:52

someone something for Christmas and then like

1:20:54

gets like destroyed and and I feel

1:20:56

like you know knocked a kind of

1:20:58

pregnant would have treated that as like

1:21:01

wacky funny but in the happiest season

1:21:03

it's like that's the saddest thing ever

1:21:05

she worked really hard on that. Maybe

1:21:07

her family didn't appreciate it but it

1:21:09

meant a lot to her to give

1:21:12

it. And that movie has that moment.

1:21:14

Yeah, it has that moment. Here, it's

1:21:16

like we want to have that moment,

1:21:18

but then we want to throw it

1:21:21

all away for comedy because it feels

1:21:23

like someone, the director, the producer, Netflix,

1:21:25

I don't know, someone couldn't trust this

1:21:27

movie to be sincere. And so it

1:21:29

keeps throwing that away for very silly

1:21:32

humor, which honestly rarely works. It's better,

1:21:34

it's a serious movie. I mean, it

1:21:36

can still be kind of funny, but

1:21:38

like it just doesn't work, it doesn't

1:21:40

work. Anyway, that is it for our

1:21:43

movie reviews, we're going to do our

1:21:45

movie review roundup, we go over what

1:21:47

we've just reviewed, and because our audience

1:21:49

requested, we didn't use it as originally,

1:21:51

but... People said, hey, listen, we don't

1:21:54

know what you feel about these movies.

1:21:56

I feel like it's more obvious this

1:21:58

time. So we rank our movies because

1:22:00

it's critically claimed and begin with a

1:22:03

C on a scale of C minus

1:22:05

to C plus. A C plus is

1:22:07

the best review we can give a

1:22:09

movie. That's a movie we genuinely recommend.

1:22:11

Love, think is brilliant. A C is

1:22:14

an average movie, hit and miss, mixed

1:22:16

bag, better for some than others. And

1:22:18

a C minus is below average. These

1:22:20

are movies that we just don't think

1:22:22

they're very good. Kind of pregnant is

1:22:25

a C minus. I think it's a

1:22:27

well-intentioned C minus, but I don't think

1:22:29

it works. I don't think it's funny

1:22:31

and I think its attempts at seriousness

1:22:33

are undermined by its desperate attempts to

1:22:36

be funny. And so yeah, it's a

1:22:38

it's a it's a it's a missed

1:22:40

opportunity on a variety of levels. Love

1:22:42

hurts. Love hurts. That's also a C

1:22:45

minus. I feel like... Some of the

1:22:47

action sequences are kind of okay, but

1:22:49

all everything about the plot everything about

1:22:51

the characters Everything about this sort of

1:22:53

strained need to provide quirky comedy just

1:22:56

the whole falls flat. Yeah, and and

1:22:58

Oh, and it tries to be retro

1:23:00

too. There's a scene in a video

1:23:02

store. Oh, yeah. It's a video store.

1:23:04

It's kind of nice. We still have.

1:23:07

We still have. But they're not common.

1:23:09

It's a video store that has like

1:23:11

a stand-up arcade cabinet. It's like, clearly

1:23:13

very retro. I think the idea is

1:23:16

it's an import store. So it's got

1:23:18

like a bunch of like, you know,

1:23:20

international cinema and like posters from... a

1:23:22

broad and stuff, but regardless, yeah, fair

1:23:24

point of bit. I liked it just

1:23:27

a little more than you know, I'm

1:23:29

going to give it a very low

1:23:31

C. Just because the the fact that

1:23:33

the humor and the characters don't really

1:23:35

work, wasn't unpleasant to watch, it was

1:23:38

just kind of like, oh, it says

1:23:40

that's not great, but there's enough fight

1:23:42

scenes and all the fight scenes are

1:23:44

good, that it kept me with it.

1:23:46

And I think the fight scenes are

1:23:49

good enough that if you're a fight

1:23:51

scenes are good enough that if you're

1:23:53

a fight. I kind of like it,

1:23:55

but that's as far as I'm willing

1:23:58

to go. And then lastly, heart eyes.

1:24:00

Heart eyes. I've been kind of... I'm

1:24:02

going to do it a little bit.

1:24:04

I'm curious where you're going to land.

1:24:06

I'm going to give it a C.

1:24:09

Okay. Not an enthusiastic C. Kind of

1:24:11

a low C. But because it's not

1:24:13

a wash. I feel like there are

1:24:15

some. It does function as a slasher

1:24:17

film. I just wish it were darker

1:24:20

and funnier and had a little bit

1:24:22

more zest and energy. Right. I feel

1:24:24

like the. The filmmaker backed off too

1:24:26

much. I wanted the filmmaker to go

1:24:29

a lot further with the darkness to

1:24:31

go a lot further with a romance

1:24:33

be just be bigger and more energetic

1:24:35

right I feel like it just didn't

1:24:37

have it in him to go that

1:24:40

far. I would argue that being bigger

1:24:42

and more energetic would have been a

1:24:44

betrayal of the two genres he was

1:24:46

delicately trying to balance because they're not

1:24:48

big in that energetic. Yeah, so you

1:24:51

just kept them small. But here's the

1:24:53

thing. But here's the thing. But here's

1:24:55

the deal. If I wanted to see

1:24:57

a horror movie, I'd watch hard eyes

1:24:59

and be satisfied. I'm giving hard eyes

1:25:02

a C plus. I think that while

1:25:04

it is hardly loves... both things that

1:25:06

he's matching up very much. I don't

1:25:08

think he likes romances. I think he

1:25:11

does. Otherwise he would have made it

1:25:13

a better, more interesting romance. No, I

1:25:15

think he, no, I disagree with that.

1:25:17

This is, this is like a, granted

1:25:19

this is a more sort of incisive

1:25:22

satire, but if you look at something

1:25:24

like they came together, that's a movie

1:25:26

that is claiming people who love romantic

1:25:28

comedies and recognize every single trope and

1:25:30

they want to do them. And they

1:25:33

want to do them. We don't have

1:25:35

to make fun of them because people

1:25:37

who love romantic comedies really love them.

1:25:39

And this isn't like a gatekeeping thing.

1:25:41

I mean like if you love something

1:25:44

unironically, you love it unironically. So if

1:25:46

you love romantic comedies unironically, you don't

1:25:48

need to see them torn down or

1:25:50

exploded. And if you love slash movies,

1:25:53

you don't necessarily need to see them

1:25:55

torn down or exploded. It can work.

1:25:57

But I'm happy to see a film

1:25:59

that manages to balance them both very

1:26:01

well. It can be incredibly enjoyable to

1:26:04

see a genre you love skewered to

1:26:06

death. I understand that. It's just not

1:26:08

the only option. And this is not

1:26:10

the option, it's clearly not the option

1:26:12

they were going for. So at least

1:26:15

at some phase in the production, you're

1:26:17

arguing that the script may have been

1:26:19

more biting than the film itself? Maybe,

1:26:21

I don't know. But it sounds like,

1:26:24

maybe. But I think the movie we

1:26:26

got is its own beast, and I

1:26:28

think it works great. So I'm giving

1:26:30

a C-plus, I think it's really good.

1:26:32

All right, so that is it for

1:26:35

Critically claimed this week. Thank you. That,

1:26:37

or, uh, Aldous Huxley. Yeah. Well, man,

1:26:39

maybe it does. I don't know. I

1:26:41

haven't seen it yet. No, yeah. Maybe

1:26:43

it's really on the nose. Let's see.

1:26:46

We've also got the latest Bridget Jones

1:26:48

movie, Bridget Jones, Mad About the Boy.

1:26:50

I have some catching up to do

1:26:52

with the Bridget Jones movies. I never

1:26:54

saw Bridget Jones' baby. I never saw

1:26:57

the last one. I saw the first

1:26:59

two. It's been a while. I never

1:27:01

saw the last one. Bridget Jones' As

1:27:03

a Edge of Reason. Yeah, so I'll

1:27:06

be re-watching probably the whole Bridget Jones

1:27:08

franchise this week to catch up for

1:27:10

that. And then next thing we have

1:27:12

a new Scott Derrickson movie for Apple

1:27:14

called The Gorge. Did a lot of

1:27:17

like really kind of interesting stylish horror

1:27:19

movies. Yeah, did Sinister the black phone.

1:27:21

Yeah, and but was also part of

1:27:23

the Marvel machine for a second. Yeah,

1:27:25

he did the first Dr. Strange, which

1:27:28

is the better Dr. Strange. That's true,

1:27:30

yeah. So anyway, he's getting a movie?

1:27:32

I hope it's good. And I hope

1:27:34

they're all good. I hope they're all

1:27:37

good. I hope every movie is good.

1:27:39

Wouldn't that be nice? But we have

1:27:41

to deal with what we got. Anyway,

1:27:43

thank you for listening. Thank you for

1:27:45

joining us. If you have the means

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