Well this one is particularly stupid. Lots of news as per (although live music is never happening ever again). However, we're also treating you to a Craig Lowe found poem titled 'W@nk and Proud", a journey through time with a pistol, a bit of a sesh on the 1s and 2s, and we finally question the nature of spice.

The spice must flow... Which spice? Cumin.