0:02

Dave and Chuck the Freak Hi!

0:19

What's up? Everyone

0:22

good? Hello! Hi Dave.

0:24

Yeah. Hello, hello. Good

0:27

to see you all. So I'm

0:29

done with the show. Oh good.

0:31

Oh my God. This is

0:34

great news. Oh this is

0:36

great news. I

0:38

don't think the rest of us are. Oh

0:40

no. Nothing lasts

0:43

forever. Nothing lasts forever. Got

0:46

a few plans. I have

0:48

some plans. Because

0:50

a listener sent a pic of his

0:52

hemorrhoid. Thank you. Good night.

0:55

Thank you and good night. I'm

0:57

good. I don't see emails. Good night. I

0:59

don't see anything anybody says or sends or

1:01

anything. It was foretold. They can hate me

1:04

all they want. Oh yeah I know.

1:06

The prophecy speak of the hemorrhoid. The

1:08

great hemorrhoid. It

1:12

opened before I had a

1:14

chance to process what it is. That's terrible.

1:16

You probably couldn't even tell. It

1:19

was almost like what am I looking at? Honestly

1:21

I'm a naive man. Is that a plumb? What

1:23

kind of a plumb? What

1:26

is dear, deafing, lord?

1:28

Man holding a plumb? Why would someone

1:30

do that? Mental illness? Yeah

1:33

I mean yeah. I'm just glad I left

1:35

that email for Dave. I

1:37

did not touch that one. Mental illness. Was there

1:39

a title on the email? Worst

1:42

Fears. Why would you do that to us?

1:44

Oh worst fears. That's how you get Dave. Was it

1:46

his? Yes Lisa. He took

1:48

a picture of his hemorrhoid. Or

1:51

was it just that David knew that it was your worst fear

1:53

so then they sent you a hemorrhoid. That's what

1:55

it is I think. I think so too. That's a jerk move.

1:58

I don't think it was your worst fear. I think that's

2:00

the way it went. That was that person's hemorrhoid. No,

2:02

it's whoever this

2:04

person was. How do you know? I don't know, I don't

2:06

know for sure. I can't, I mean, I

2:08

didn't do a line up side by side,

2:10

bend over, prove it. He just

2:13

probably did that as a-

2:15

It looks like a self-taken picture. Oh, sure.

2:17

As I say, it doesn't look like a

2:19

professional job. I was gonna say like with

2:21

a hemorrhoid pick, does it,

2:23

you use that feature where it's like three,

2:25

two, one. I think you do,

2:27

and then you give a little squat, you know? Get

2:30

a little catcher stance. Yeah. I

2:33

think you have to do it old school with like the

2:35

smoke that goes up. You gotta set it up. Oh. Pshh.

2:38

That's hilarious. Glamour photo. You burn your butt

2:40

that way. Yeah. It's tough to

2:42

get, yeah, that timer really comes

2:44

in handy, I'll tell you. It's either that, or

2:46

they did like a live video on a tripod,

2:49

got the screenshot from it. Yeah, that's true.

2:52

Are you about to show everyone this photo?

2:54

Well, if I suffered through it- Oh, no,

2:56

no, no. If I suffered

2:58

through it- No, why? You're

3:01

the one- Because why do I, I have to

3:03

see all the emails, I have to see all the

3:05

guys. You don't have to. If you don't see a

3:07

hemorrhoid, it's not gonna bother me. If he keeps you quitting,

3:09

I'll jump on the grenade and look at it. Yeah. Don't

3:12

leave. He'll push real hard in the bathroom

3:14

and get one. Yeah, stay. Sure. Dave's

3:16

not leaving anymore, it's not worrying about it. No,

3:19

I know. I know. I

3:21

just wanted to. I really wanted to. Today I was

3:23

literally just gonna be like, turn off the

3:25

computer, get back into my car, and

3:27

go home. But you're building a

3:29

home. I really- Yeah, yeah. But

3:32

the problem is, it's got a home that you

3:35

wanna go to, it's woods. Just woods. You mean?

3:37

I said that's fine, I love it in the

3:39

woods. I'll think about that boat. Yeah.

3:42

Yes. Boat plans on hold. That's what

3:44

you gotta do to get you through.

3:46

Yeah. He should have put

3:48

like a little boat symbol over the hemorrhoid. So

3:51

he started the email like this after

3:53

the picture loaded. It's

3:55

been a long week, and

3:58

I've encountered almost all- vape

1:58:00

or cigarette, but those nicotine pouches do come

1:58:02

with their own risks, skin

1:58:04

irritation, addiction and gum disease. But

1:58:08

now they found that curious younger

1:58:10

folks are placing them under their

1:58:12

foreskin and in their

1:58:15

anuses, noticing

1:58:17

that would give them a certain

1:58:19

buzz as well. So

1:58:22

crazy, man. You okay, Lisa? He just had

1:58:24

anuses so many times. He did. Well, that's

1:58:26

where they're putting them. I know. That's funny.

1:58:28

It is wild to be like, somebody put

1:58:30

it in their anus. It's

1:58:34

pretty medical. Well,

1:58:37

that's where they're putting it. I

1:58:40

don't need my anus to be any more swollen. That's

1:58:44

just a hard conversation. Do I have to spit every once in

1:58:46

a while, too? So

1:58:49

one guy, according

1:58:52

to a doctor, got drunk and forgot to take

1:58:54

the nicotine pouch out of his foreskin. And

1:58:57

when he woke up, his penis

1:59:00

was incredibly swollen, red and blistering.

1:59:03

It was the first and last time he tried

1:59:05

it after rushing to the ER. In

1:59:08

addition to the negative physical sensations, they say

1:59:10

you shouldn't do it because it can lead

1:59:12

to addiction. I don't

1:59:14

want to get addicted to putting a nicotine

1:59:16

pouch in my anus. Don't knock until you

1:59:18

try it. Going

1:59:21

through butt withdrawals. Oh my God.

1:59:23

Oh, that's a bad one. You

1:59:26

got to switch to vaping back

1:59:28

there. Some

1:59:39

folks say, though, they put it in

1:59:41

their be-hole and their craving disappears

1:59:45

after a few minutes. Well,

1:59:47

sure. I mean, you're giving yourself

1:59:49

the craving. You're getting 1000% of the nicotine.

1:59:53

Yeah, like probably mainlining it, too. It's

1:59:55

the next thing. You got to get

1:59:58

a patch or something. Got

2:30:01

tens of thousands of signatures and

2:30:03

the school board said, all right.

2:30:05

Wow. That's right. That's right. So

2:30:08

now he is the hero. Well

2:30:11

for a minute. Here's his story from WPIXTV.

2:30:13

That's right. Take a listen.

2:30:15

Isaac! Isaac! Isaac! Isaac!

2:30:19

Isaac! Isaac! Isaac!

2:30:22

Isaac! Isaac! Isaac! Isaac!

2:30:26

Isaac! Isaac! I

2:30:28

have a call for you. So

2:30:58

December 23rd, you and your classmates

2:31:00

are now going to be off.

2:31:06

The DOE and Teachers Union worked together

2:31:08

to make it official and

2:31:10

legal. You had resolutions passed on

2:31:12

and voted by adults throughout

2:31:15

the city. You did all of

2:31:17

that, okay? We were able to make this

2:31:20

happen, but you got the ball rolling. Isaac's

2:31:22

principal at IS 96 in Bensonhurst

2:31:24

was not at all surprised by his

2:31:26

tenacity. He has an amazing brain for

2:31:28

calendars and numbers, and I'm just so

2:31:30

proud of him. So

2:31:32

are his parents, who chalked this up to a teachable

2:31:35

moment. We thought this would be a chance to have

2:31:37

him learn that you can't fight City Hall, but

2:31:40

instead he ended up getting a win out

2:31:42

of it. And now he just

2:31:44

might be part of the school calendar committee.

2:31:47

You may surprise how many ideas we get

2:31:49

from young people. I'm so

2:31:51

proud of myself for advocating all

2:31:53

that hard work I did. You

2:31:56

know what, I'm proud of you too, because my son was going to

2:31:58

have to skip school that day. Thank you.

2:32:02

I saved the day. He

2:32:05

saved the day for a lot of families. And

2:32:07

if you're wondering, the day will not be added

2:32:09

back to the school calendar. We asked and state

2:32:11

law is still satisfied with that 180 day rule

2:32:14

being met, guys. Well,

2:32:18

that's good. I mean, it's amazing. It

2:32:20

is amazing. I would, you know,

2:32:22

praise him as well. Yeah.

2:32:25

But way too much work. Way too much work.

2:32:27

You'd never go. You'd love to get that extra

2:32:29

day off for everybody. I just would. You'd never

2:32:32

do all the work. Skip that day. I would have

2:32:34

just not gone. I mean, I'm not going to do all that

2:32:36

work. I'm just not going. No, in that day they don't do

2:32:38

anything anyway, right? That day, that's

2:32:40

all they watch. Christmas movies and bring in

2:32:42

treats. So dumb. My

2:32:45

kids all the time, every time there's going to

2:32:47

be a day like that, they are begging and

2:32:50

begging. And I'm always like, no.

2:32:53

Nope. I

2:32:59

don't see any other way, but you just go into

2:33:01

school that day. You've

2:33:04

got to go. You know,

2:33:06

you would just not go. I would not go.

2:33:08

I like the idea that you actually thought about

2:33:11

it. No,

2:33:13

no, no,

2:33:16

no, no, no, no. They

2:33:18

probably don't go anyway. No, they don't. No, they just talk

2:33:20

to their mom and their mom says that's bad. Well,

2:33:24

jaywalking, the time honored practice of crossing the

2:33:26

street outside of the crosswalk or against the

2:33:29

traffic light is now legal

2:33:31

for the first time ever in New

2:33:33

York City. Legislation

2:33:35

passed by the city council officially became law

2:33:37

after the city's mayor, Eric Adams, declined to

2:33:39

take action either by signing or vetoing it.

2:33:42

That's what happens. If he just doesn't touch

2:33:44

it for a month, it becomes law.

2:33:47

Damn. One council member who

2:33:49

sponsored the legislation says the new law

2:33:51

ends enforcement. She

2:33:54

said, let's be real. Every New Yorker jaywalks. People

2:33:57

are simply trying to get where they need to go. laws

2:34:00

that penalize common behaviors for

2:34:03

everyday movement shouldn't exist, especially

2:34:06

when they unfairly impact people. I was

2:34:08

gonna say, I think they've used jaywalking

2:34:11

as like a reason to maybe

2:34:13

stop certain people. See what else you

2:34:15

got going on. Exactly. The new law

2:34:17

permits pedestrians to cross a roadway at

2:34:19

any point, including outside of a crosswalk.

2:34:21

It also allows for crossing against traffic

2:34:23

signals and specifically states that doing so

2:34:25

is no longer a violation of the

2:34:27

city's administrative code. They

2:34:29

also do warn pedestrians that crossing outside

2:34:32

of a crosswalk, they still don't

2:34:34

have the right of way and they have to

2:34:36

yield to traffic that has the right of way.

2:34:39

So that happens though. And

2:34:41

I hit someone who's decided they're going

2:34:43

to run across the road even against the light. I think

2:34:45

you're fine. Yeah, I think you'll be fine. You'll be fine.

2:34:48

No, I don't think. They have to yield. I

2:34:51

think the pedestrians have the right of way

2:34:53

always. Well, this is not when they're just

2:34:55

going to cross at some random spot, jump

2:34:57

out in front of your car. They

2:35:00

won't have the right of way. Yeah, they

2:35:02

won't and that's what they said. So thank God

2:35:04

because I see

2:35:06

that all the time now. The insurance can't actually be out

2:35:09

of control. In this me world, all I care about is

2:35:11

me. People just walk right in

2:35:13

the middle. You've got a green light and

2:35:15

people just start walking across. Drive past a

2:35:18

hospital every day now and it's people,

2:35:20

nurses, and they're crossing big busy road.

2:35:25

And it's like when I'm driving

2:35:27

here, I have to be careful. I'm like, oh God, don't

2:35:29

hit a nurse or a doctor or something. Oh my goodness.

2:35:31

Oh my goodness. No, it's a bad day. It's a bad

2:35:34

day. Don't hit a doctor. No, no, no. Yeah,

2:35:38

but they do it. But they have to because they have

2:35:40

to park across the street. Yeah, that's a weird place.

2:35:43

I'm still always cautious. Yeah,

2:35:45

I will jaywalk. But I'll still look to make

2:35:47

sure there's no cops around because I'm like, oh, am

2:35:49

I going to ticket for this? I don't know. It'd be

2:35:53

really wild if this turned into a

2:35:55

bloodbath. The hospitals are full because people

2:35:57

get smoked by cars all the time.

2:36:00

Everybody's legs are broken in the city! No!

2:36:03

I feel like it was in New York

2:36:05

City, like you have to be aware

2:36:08

of the traffic at all

2:36:10

times. They'll all try to hit

2:36:12

you. They don't care. You go to New

2:36:14

York, everyone is jaywalking. Yeah, you have to.

2:36:17

Well the running rings around Uranus.

2:36:20

It's amazing stuff. New research suggests

2:36:22

a moon orbiting

2:36:25

Uranus might contain

2:36:27

enough natural resources to support

2:36:29

alien life. Scientists

2:36:32

say the lunar object named

2:36:34

Miranda has sources of water

2:36:37

hidden below its surface. The

2:36:39

finding could be a breakthrough in mankind's

2:36:41

ongoing search for aliens. It

2:36:44

said to find evidence of an ocean inside a

2:36:46

small object like Miranda is incredibly surprising. It

2:36:50

helps build on the story that some of these moons

2:36:52

at Uranus may be really interesting. There

2:36:54

may be several ocean worlds around

2:36:57

one of the most distant planets in

2:36:59

our solar system which is exciting and

2:37:02

bizarre. Yeah,

2:37:06

Uranus looks a lot cooler than I thought it

2:37:08

would Dave. But thanks, appreciate

2:37:10

that. There's

2:37:12

Miranda. Jeez, it looks like an ice

2:37:15

ball. Yeah, but there's oceans

2:37:17

in there. Those are weird. They

2:37:19

always talk about that Phobos. Yeah,

2:37:21

there's a few stuff on there. That's

2:37:23

a Saturn moon I think. Yeah.

2:37:27

And Titan, they always talk about that one and

2:37:29

it's just crazy. We look up there and we're

2:37:31

like, no clue. No, no,

2:37:33

no, no. Flying. There

2:37:36

might be water on it. Yeah. I

2:37:38

don't know though, flying on space rocks.

2:37:40

Through an emptiness. Around so long,

2:37:43

you think that we'd know a

2:37:45

little more. No, it's just so far. These

2:37:47

things are so far away that it's just

2:37:49

like the fact that we know anything about

2:37:52

anything that's as far away as this

2:37:54

is just, it's crazy

2:37:56

really. Now

2:37:58

they just want to clarify, they won't know for sure. that

2:38:00

it's an ocean until they go back and collect more data

2:38:02

but that's what it appears to be. Yeah. Right

2:38:05

now. It'd be funny if that's where the probe and

2:38:07

aliens came from. Right

2:38:09

there? Uranus. Uranus, yeah. They're like, that's why we

2:38:11

did it. They shot out of Uranus. We're obsessed

2:38:14

with bots. Well,

2:38:18

there's a new trend in hotels that a

2:38:20

lot of people don't like. They're

2:38:23

removing bathroom doors and

2:38:26

using just curtains or frosted

2:38:28

or fogged glass. Not good if you

2:38:30

have a partner there. Or saloon doors.

2:38:33

Amber and I just had this happen when we were

2:38:35

in Georgia. The hotel we

2:38:37

stayed at had like a

2:38:39

curtain. Just like an opening? It

2:38:42

was just an opening that had like a curtain pulled

2:38:44

to the side and you could untie it and it

2:38:46

would swing across and close. Mmm.

2:38:48

But so... You're gonna hear all of

2:38:50

my noises? You will hear everything. So

2:38:53

nasty because then all the particles are gonna absorb if it's

2:38:56

on. Oh, God. Everybody's...

2:38:59

I like doors. Bathroom doors. I

2:39:01

love a door. Door's great. Mmm-hmm.

2:39:04

And then I had another buddy who was traveling

2:39:06

for hockey and he said, you know,

2:39:09

all the guys had to share rooms

2:39:12

and it was like see-through

2:39:14

glass showers that were right there

2:39:16

in the bedroom. So

2:39:19

you shower and anyone in the room

2:39:21

can see you in the shower. Now,

2:39:23

the only time I've ever seen anything

2:39:25

like that, it was like in a

2:39:27

fancier resort style thing where they knew

2:39:30

you'd probably be staying there for a...

2:39:32

With your lover? Honeymoon or with

2:39:34

someone. It's wild to share one

2:39:36

of those rooms with your buddy that you play

2:39:38

hockey with. Right. Yeah, that's not good. So they

2:39:40

had to just leave when someone needed the bathroom,

2:39:42

the other person would have to leave it. Yeah.

2:39:45

Or you put on a show for whatever you

2:39:47

want. Hockey players are a little different. I don't

2:39:50

know if you know that. They don't mind putting

2:39:52

a show on. They say hotels have been removing

2:39:54

doors on the most private sanctums, the bathroom in

2:39:56

their place. Flimsy curtains, frosted or fog glass, saloon

2:39:58

or sliding glass. doors or sometimes nothing

2:40:01

at all. I

2:40:04

don't like the curtains they have on

2:40:06

the showers in most hotels. It's

2:40:08

that cloth. What is that cloth, man? Why?

2:40:11

I don't know why they opt for that. And it

2:40:13

sticks to you sometimes? Well, see, I prefer the cloth over

2:40:15

the plastic, the plastic shower curtains. They stick to you.

2:40:17

Really? See, I feel like they push

2:40:20

water away. I feel like the cloth absorbs

2:40:22

everybody's shower stains. Oh, Lord.

2:40:25

Yeah, like when you touch it, you're not touching just yourself. It's

2:40:27

a steam of 100,000 people. When

2:40:30

reviewing reviews on several websites, a lot

2:40:32

of people have been commenting on this.

2:40:34

A guest at Citizen M. Did

2:40:37

we stay? What's the place we stayed at in

2:40:39

Boston? Was it Citizen? I don't

2:40:41

know. I think I played. That weird room?

2:40:43

Yeah. Yeah, that was a

2:40:46

weird bathroom situation. It was. And

2:40:48

I remember thinking, I'm glad I'm here alone. I

2:40:51

might have stayed at one of those places in

2:40:53

San Francisco. Yeah,

2:40:55

Citizen M. I think that's where we stayed. This

2:40:58

is it, you guys, for sure it is. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

2:41:02

It was a glass bathroom inside

2:41:04

this tiny little room. And

2:41:07

this woman said she would never stay there

2:41:09

again, but her husband found great joy in

2:41:11

staring at her while she sat on the

2:41:13

toilet. Oh, my. Use

2:41:15

a lobby bathroom, people. The best kept secret. Yeah,

2:41:17

the lobby. It's still when it's all glass like

2:41:20

that. I think I stayed in New York

2:41:22

at a place like that in Brooklyn. It

2:41:24

had like a lot of glass in the bathroom.

2:41:26

I'm remembering. I think they do it to be fancy,

2:41:29

but they forget that you still want your privacy.

2:41:31

Yeah. I mean, if I'm in

2:41:33

there with the right person, I just I get a

2:41:35

chair. I'm like, yeah, but when you're going to the

2:41:37

bathroom, I mean, I don't want to see that. I

2:41:39

don't want to see that. You don't want to see

2:41:41

that. No, shower lover 3000. Shower's

2:41:44

fine. Scatter at that. Yeah. That's

2:41:47

what they're getting at. Like the sexiness of it. You

2:41:49

know, when you go to a place like that, but it's like, but

2:41:51

you've got, you know, people have business to do. That's

2:41:54

right. Yeah. Most of my

2:41:56

best times, not sexy time. Right. Oh,

2:41:59

is any of your bathroom. room time sexy time.

2:42:01

Oh yeah. Oh yes it is. Yes it is.

2:42:03

I'll show you later. Nope. I'll show you. But

2:42:05

they say what's happening is hotel rooms are getting

2:42:07

smaller, they're more compact and it's requiring designers to

2:42:09

maximize functionality. So

2:42:12

they remove doorways and openings

2:42:15

for things like flimsy or glass doors

2:42:17

and curtains. It'll save

2:42:19

a lot on budget and space. Yeah,

2:42:22

it's always been more money for us. Yeah, I

2:42:24

heard that here. I've heard that here like they're

2:42:26

waiting for these doors to break because they have

2:42:28

almost broken a couple times and that they were just

2:42:30

going to put curtains. Oh yeah. They're going to put

2:42:33

curtains up. You know, so it

2:42:36

should be pretty cool. Those doors

2:42:38

do seem like they're going to break. They're

2:42:40

going to break guys. They're going to break.

2:42:43

It sounds like a haunted house

2:42:45

door. Yeah. Oh yeah, the creaking.

2:42:47

Yeah, the creaking. Yeah. Stated in

2:42:49

a pretty expensive hotel in Cincinnati.

2:42:52

It just had a see-through sliding glass door.

2:42:54

You could hear and see all. Nope.

2:42:57

Damn. Yeah,

2:42:59

it's a, there's some wild stuff out there.

2:43:01

Yeah. I've been through the, in those like

2:43:03

see-through showers just by myself and looked in

2:43:05

the mirror. That's right there. It's not like

2:43:08

in the movies, man. No, I really wanted

2:43:10

to fog up before I get

2:43:12

in here. There's no fog. Yeah.

2:43:14

The wildest bathroom. And I forget

2:43:16

where it was. We were

2:43:19

on vacation somewhere. I don't know. Maybe it was

2:43:21

Mexico somewhere, but it was all see-through stalls. When

2:43:23

you closed it, it would fog. Oh, one of

2:43:25

those things. Yeah. But it was in like a

2:43:28

restaurant or something. I forget where it was, but

2:43:30

it just, we were like, what? And they had

2:43:32

no urinals. It was

2:43:34

just stalls. But when you close

2:43:36

the door, it would fog up. Weird.

2:43:39

You couldn't see in it anymore. So that's

2:43:41

so you could see if anybody was in

2:43:43

there. I think so. Yeah. I mean, it's

2:43:45

kind of cool. Cool until it fails. All

2:43:47

of a sudden I'm in the middle of

2:43:49

stuff and I see the fog start to

2:43:52

disappear. That

2:43:55

is not no good at all. No.

2:43:57

A national sandwich day is coming up.