0:00

You cannot live in that normal

0:02

mindset. You must be your best on

0:04

your worst days. And how you

0:06

do that is you cannot

0:09

think of a normal mindset.

0:12

You cannot have a normal mindset. Takes

0:14

the growth in your mental aspect, in your spiritual,

0:17

everything grows because you start feeling better about

0:19

yourself. Not many things on the planet

0:21

make you feel good about yourself, like getting

0:24

after it, doing something that challenges you

0:26

mentally and physically every day.

0:29

My big takeaway of life is if

0:32

you're constantly taking the easy way

0:34

out, you never go to callous your mind. I

0:36

was a chameleon living

0:38

in life who could barely get by. So

0:41

I know

0:41

that they were taking the normal

0:43

mindset of people. They weren't talking

0:45

about the one percenters, the people

0:48

who want it like there's no tomorrow. The one thing

0:50

that made me who I am today is being vulnerable.

0:53

It's breaking myself down to the absolute

0:56

rock bottom and being able to tell

0:58

people who I am. And

1:00

that's how I fixed it. Literally, you know, look

1:02

somebody in the eyes. You know what, man? I have a whole

1:05

bunch of character problems, character

1:08

flaws. I've lied

1:10

about this. I've cheated here. I'm

1:12

insecure here. This isn't the real

1:14

me.

1:14

I lied to you about that. I

1:16

wanted your acceptance in life. All

1:18

those things happen. But the thing about it is if we get judged

1:21

so quickly by who we

1:23

are, we don't know, we don't go to the to

1:25

where it happened. Everything

1:28

I didn't want to do is what

1:30

got me to where I'm at today. It's

1:33

about what you're saying to yourself, but it also comes

1:35

at work. So whenever I was

1:37

getting beat down physically, mentally,

1:39

spiritually, whatever I was going through, just

1:42

saying you can't hurt me. Life

1:44

created this person, me. And

1:47

I had to realize, man, that's okay,

1:49

man. It's not my fault. Now I can

1:51

go back and fixed it though. So a lot

1:53

of this isn't your fault. Why you do some

1:55

things you do, why you feel the way you feel, but

1:58

no one's coming back to save your ass.

2:00

You have to go back to where they started,

2:03

wherever that place is for everybody, and

2:05

have the courage to go back there and start fixing

2:07

what broke you. I was just an insecure,

2:10

scared kid. But the best

2:12

thing that happened to me,

2:13

no one helped me. So the only way I could

2:15

turn around was to suffer.

2:19

I had to build calluses in my brain

2:22

the same way I built calluses on my hands. I

2:25

saw myself as the weakest person God ever

2:28

created.

2:29

But I never blamed God for anything He did to me.

2:32

So I wanted to change that

2:35

to be the hardest man ever created. In my

2:37

that, I don't know, but you had to have a goal. In

2:40

my goal, when I was sitting there, not

2:42

going to school, being bullied,

2:45

having no self-esteem,

2:47

my goal was the only person that could

2:49

turn this person around is me. So

2:52

I knew in the back of my

2:54

mind that I could pull off

2:57

this, whatever. Whatever

3:00

I wanted, I knew I could. I knew that, but

3:02

I was afraid of the

3:05

work.

3:06

Because I wasn't gifted with brains. I

3:08

wasn't gifted with God-given talent as

3:11

far as like athleticism. So

3:13

I knew to

3:14

get to where I had to go, to be

3:16

in the same playing field as

3:18

these men, and even try out in this

3:20

program,

3:21

I knew the work was going

3:24

to be something that I didn't want to even

3:26

attack. So I was just

3:28

put it off. It haunted

3:31

me.

3:32

That's what I realized for myself was I

3:34

wanted that comfort zone.

3:36

Everybody looks for that pat on

3:39

the back. They don't want to hear all the bad. They

3:41

want to hear everything that you're doing right. And

3:44

I realized that's what kept me in this

3:46

world.

3:47

That's what kept me in this world of not accomplishing

3:49

anything.

3:50

What I did was I became that

3:53

big, bad, nasty that you don't want

3:55

to walk into at nighttime. I

3:57

became the roughest critic

3:59

in the world.

3:59

on myself and

4:02

that's what changed me. I literally

4:04

saw myself in the mirror. I saw

4:06

the truth versus saying you

4:08

know my dad did this to me from

4:10

you know from beating me, my life

4:12

did this to me, my broken foundation did this

4:14

to me. I took that

4:17

and said you know what well some people may

4:19

help this happen

4:20

but now I have to own this.

4:23

No one's gonna come back to save me.

4:25

No one's gonna come back on this couch and say

4:27

hey it's okay you're

4:30

gonna be okay. No I'm not.

4:32

I'm not gonna be okay. I didn't realize I

4:34

had to take a stand. I didn't make a real

4:36

stand and it was painful to

4:39

look at who I like who I was.

4:42

What the world and myself created.

4:44

It

4:44

created a

4:45

very lonely, depressed, insecure

4:48

man that would do anything

4:50

just to have a friend

4:52

and I saw that as very pathetic.

4:55

When you look at the truth it becomes very ugly

4:57

and pathetic.

4:58

I'm the hardest working guy that doesn't talk

5:00

about so basically I don't

5:03

take any days off as

5:06

far as working out. First

5:08

thing in the morning time is you have to build your confidence

5:11

and every day you're constantly gaining

5:13

and losing confidence. You never stay

5:15

in the same.

5:17

So how you build your confidence is if

5:19

you like what you see in that mirror that's

5:21

how you start your day off. If you wake up and

5:24

you look fat, you look out of shape, you're

5:26

not feel good, which

5:28

is you know or you don't feel good inside.

5:30

So my whole big thing is get up and work out. Shed

5:33

some calories. Get the adrenals

5:36

going. Get the mind going. Get all that

5:38

going. Every day I run. Every

5:40

day I work out.

5:43

A lot of people what they do is they have these these

5:46

finish lines and I have a

5:48

saying that says I don't stop when I'm tired

5:51

I stop when I'm done. When

5:54

I was younger I didn't

5:56

have any goals. It's not really so much

5:58

about goals it's just to do this,

6:01

a to do this. And as a human being,

6:03

if you don't have a to do list, you're

6:05

going to sit back and just fade away.

6:08

I didn't care about losing weight. I didn't care about being the

6:10

fastest person. I wasn't making the Olympics.

6:12

I wasn't going to pros. I could barely read

6:14

and write when I was in a junior high school. I

6:17

wasn't going anywhere. I saw working

6:19

out as a way for me to build calluses

6:21

on my mind.

6:23

I had a callus over the victim's mentality.

6:26

I watched these movies. I talked about rocket last

6:28

time I was on here. I always

6:30

equated training to

6:33

mental company. Like it

6:35

was brutal. People waking up early and doing

6:37

all these things and look horrible. I was

6:39

like, wow, I got to start doing that not

6:41

to get better, bigger and stronger. But

6:43

that is what's going to build me. That looks uncomfortable.

6:46

That looks brutal and getting up early.

6:48

I don't want to do that. Some of this long

6:51

list of things I don't want to do. Through

6:53

that, I found myself.

6:56

I'm like, you guys aren't doing this in high school?

6:59

You guys aren't getting up at 5 o'clock in the morning running

7:01

over here in your golf course? I

7:03

started seeing myself very differently than

7:06

the average human being. I was like, wait a second.

7:10

I have something they don't have.

7:12

That's when I started to develop these things through working

7:14

out. It was this great

7:17

never ending work ethic. And

7:20

through work ethic, I developed suffering. You

7:22

have to tap into suffering every day of your

7:25

life because you have so much scarring

7:28

that we have to clean up. You

7:30

have to look at suffering as almost like I

7:32

looked at failure. To

7:34

succeed, you must fail.

7:38

In failure and in suffering, all

7:40

the answers are in there. All

7:43

the answers to all the test questions is

7:45

your life. All the answers are

7:47

in there. You have to live in suffering

7:49

and pain and failure all the time. You

7:52

have to learn. I

7:53

need to visit it.

7:54

Like people hate working out.

7:57

You only go to visit working out maybe an hour

7:59

a day.

8:00

23 other hours of the day, you're not in

8:02

it.

8:03

But how you become in shape is

8:05

you must visit suffering,

8:07

visit working out,

8:08

one hour a day, visit

8:10

suffering, one hour a day, visit

8:13

your past failures, one hour a day.

8:15

The relationship

8:15

with it is the answers are

8:18

in there.

8:19

Go back in your brain, crack it open

8:21

while you're alive. Don't wait until you're

8:23

dead to figure out why you died. Do

8:26

it while you are living. Go in

8:28

there, go into the suffering, go

8:30

into the pain of your life and say, why did this

8:32

suck for me so bad? Why

8:35

am I afraid of all this stuff? Why

8:37

have I shut down the whole world?

8:40

I guarantee I'll tell you why you shut down the whole world.

8:42

It's in these nooks of the suffering

8:45

within your brain, in the scarring,

8:47

all the answers to why

8:49

you are on the couch feeling sorry for yourself.

8:52

My reading, my learning, my workouts,

8:54

my diet, you

8:56

start neglecting all of that. You neglect

8:59

one of them. You can neglect all

9:01

of them a long time. It's

9:03

going to haunt you.

9:05

When you start seeing that my guy haven't eaten

9:07

in a long time,

9:08

probably sleep a long time, it's

9:10

only going to be one of those things that take

9:11

you off. I'm very aware

9:13

of

9:15

my eating, my sleeping, my

9:18

disciplines of life. If

9:20

I start to get too far away from them,

9:23

it's a hard stop. The

9:26

one thing that only gets me mad nowadays is

9:28

that so many people die with untapped

9:30

potential because they think that someone else is from

9:32

better than them. They were born

9:36

not with the greatest tools. You

9:38

need the ability to grind your ass into the fine

9:41

powder. When you're in that fine powder,

9:43

find a way to build that back up repeatedly. That's

9:46

possible. When you come from a small,

9:49

small town and you come from a place

9:51

that a lot of people don't want to come out of

9:53

it and get out of it and all you want

9:55

to do is become somebody, you've got to

9:57

be able to get out and let your mind see.

10:00

open-mindedness because a small town what

10:02

it does to you is it closes your mind completely

10:04

closes your mind not everybody this isn't everybody

10:07

a lot of people you have to be able to go out there and create

10:09

open-mindedness you need space you need

10:11

space to see the world like a lot of racism

10:14

a lot of a lot of ignorance in the world it

10:16

comes from people not being out and seeing

10:18

other things seeing other people that's why we judge

10:20

so harshly because our minds are so close

10:23

to the reality of

10:25

love period people don't really

10:27

understand what that is when you're in the worst environment

10:29

possible the worst situation possible and

10:31

everybody's looking like God man I hope this is and

10:34

you see that time slows

10:36

down you see that you're you're feeling that

10:39

everybody has that look on their face like God it's got

10:41

to go I don't want to be anymore and

10:44

when I started realize I start playing mind games

10:45

I was like you know what

10:47

these are

10:48

looking at us

10:50

judging themselves about when they were

10:53

going through hell week about let me see I'm looking at

10:55

Goggins right now I was better than him

11:00

you gotta judge

11:03

me right

11:04

they tell you how you're supposed to feel you

11:07

are feeling that way I was like ah don't

11:09

let this mother tell you how you're supposed to feel no

11:12

it's day one mother this is

11:14

our one so I was getting my book who

11:16

all jacked up I said we're gonna take these mother for souls

11:19

so when they had us doing a simple thing

11:22

that guys are struggling with I looked on the

11:24

instructor's faces and it looked like someone

11:26

had just with their soul

11:29

and I looked at my God in a book and I said hey guess what

11:32

we own space in their head we

11:34

own space they're gonna think about us tonight which are

11:37

fueling off the fact that man it takes one second

11:39

of energy to steal everybody

11:42

and then you have all the energy you need so

11:44

you need you need to look at someone's eyes you

11:47

know how this when you fight somebody you broke that he's like oh God

11:49

man I don't want to go back to the next round and

11:51

you feel like my god I can fight all day I

11:53

can fight all day long that's

11:56

what taking souls is but you

11:58

have to have the will heart to courage

12:01

to go that distance when

12:03

you're exactly jacked up you have nothing

12:06

left to give and give more

12:09

I want you I want you to go there with me I'm

12:11

taking you there with me I'm

12:14

a storyteller I want to take your

12:16

ass down paradise where I so

12:19

the house I lived in in Buffalo New York that got my ass

12:21

beat every day funny we lived

12:23

on Paradise Road and there

12:25

was anything but paradise so

12:27

I want you to go there with me you want

12:30

to learn from me let me take your asshole let

12:32

me take you there so that's the whole thing

12:34

about it man we're scared to dive into

12:38

our lives what made us who we are the

12:41

beautiful people that we are we're all jacked

12:43

up in so many ways that's the beauty

12:45

of us that's the beauty of me I'm

12:48

jacked up but I figured out

12:50

my whole little process and how to get unjacked up and

12:53

how to I'm not gonna get the same you know I'm not

12:55

gonna get the same way you're gonna get there you may get there

12:57

by going point of point B I'm

12:59

a go point C to D to E to F I'm

13:01

gonna be there the same way you are just a little

13:03

harder that's how I train my brain so

13:06

it's just different

13:07

different thinkers

13:09

talk about we want to skip forward to peace

13:11

let's skip all this pain

13:13

and suffering and misery of real life that's

13:15

covered over nice big blanket and

13:17

that's fine peace

13:20

no sorry it's

13:23

not possible

13:25

got go into that hell hole of life that

13:27

you have that you up and

13:30

fix it and that's what I'm here to you

13:32

must go to war yourself before you find peace so

13:35

I'm trying to give you tools on how

13:37

to do that and I'm not gonna see the smile

13:39

and be happy about it it's

13:41

a hard journey it's a real journey it's

13:44

a journey that's gonna take you way outside of being

13:46

comfortable

13:47

you'd be very very uncomfortable

13:49

so basically I start running

13:52

and I get to about mile 40 mile 50 and I'm feeling pretty

13:55

good

13:56

I get to my 70 and it was

14:00

The worst pain in my life,

14:03

I sat down in this blue lawn chair at mile 70

14:06

and the rich crackers

14:08

after mile 20 became risk cracker balls. I

14:10

wasn't hydrating correctly. I didn't know what to

14:12

do. I was thinking a mileplex for

14:14

my nutrition because I couldn't eat these risk

14:16

crackers. Had very minimal water if

14:19

any at all and I was just dying. So

14:21

I sat down in this blue lawn chair and I

14:23

was watching all these runners go around in this circle. I

14:25

was all dizzy and lightheaded, hadn't gone to the bathroom.

14:28

It's been about 12 hours. I'm at 70 miles, about 12 hours,

14:30

which is good. And I looked

14:32

at my ex-wife now and I was like, I

14:35

started seeing like three of her.

14:37

And once my body stopped,

14:40

my mind just went off and

14:42

I had to go to the bathroom and the bathroom

14:44

was like 20 feet away from me. If that,

14:47

and I couldn't.

14:49

When you quit, your mind does this.

14:51

Once you say I'm not going to quit,

14:53

this is the 40%. When

14:56

you quit, your mind says

14:57

we're done. So it doesn't expand. There's

14:59

no expansion when you quit. When

15:02

you say, uh-uh, this sucks. I'm drowning.

15:04

I'm miserable. I'm suffering.

15:06

I'm broken, but I'm not

15:08

going anywhere. What happens to your mind

15:10

is it does this. It

15:13

says he's not leaving. We

15:15

have a lot more with a lot more than we

15:17

think we have.

15:18

And all I did was I picked up

15:20

that shovel and that shovel, I

15:23

made my own path and you may have big

15:25

boulders and they may be getting 200 miles

15:27

up the road faster than you. But going

15:29

through this path of life, this journey over here,

15:32

there may be some days I get up with poopy pants

15:34

and I'm like, you know what, man? This man,

15:37

like, why am I having this, this

15:39

such a structured life? Why? And

15:42

I'm like, you know what? I'm good. I'm

15:44

done with this. And I sit around

15:46

and I say, okay,

15:47

so you want to be normal.

15:49

So you just want to be like everybody else that roams

15:52

the world,

15:53

not knowing the power that's in them,

15:55

being fine with being mediocre.