0:00

Outpost is a bustling city

0:02

located in the nation of

0:05

Goldcrest. A nation that nobody cared about until

0:07

the king was slain by a bunch of

0:09

adventurers. Unfortunately, adventurers did what

0:11

adventurers do, and they didn't think of

0:13

the consequences of killing a powerful

0:15

tyrant, and they promptly left the citizens

0:17

of Goldcrest to figure it out

0:19

for themselves. For now,

0:21

Jaren's Outpost is a melting pot

0:23

of religions, criminals, politics, and

0:25

paranoia, with everyone keeping everyone else

0:28

in check. But all that's about

0:30

to change. Welcome to

0:32

the enhanced edition of

0:34

Jaren's Outpost. An

0:37

awful black energy bathes

0:39

the inside of the

0:41

Citadel. He's doing it! He's

0:43

raising them! Oh fuck.

0:45

But in the distance, you

0:47

see an actual, honest -to

0:49

-god castle strapped to the

0:51

bottom of the building,

0:53

flinging projectiles towards the dragon.

0:55

The dragon roars and

0:57

launches off the citadel, completing

0:59

its spell. Goggles

1:06

stands up next to you. Let

1:08

us swam! You

1:10

assault the wolves. Charging

1:13

forward. You crash like a

1:15

wave upon it. People begin

1:18

throwing grappling hooks up to

1:20

the top and attempting to

1:22

scale. Boiling oil is thrown

1:24

down upon your attackers. Some

1:26

of them scream and ride

1:28

as the oil burns through

1:30

them. And some defenders drop

1:32

motes of Alchemist fire to

1:34

deny passage. The Alchemist fire

1:36

clings like napalm to anything

1:38

it sticks to and makes

1:40

entire stretches of the wall

1:43

unscalable. But even in some of

1:45

those places, especially Sabres,

1:47

but also Town Guard, continue

1:49

to fight upwards through the

1:51

flames. You spot perhaps

1:53

Tuesday or Colin climbing their

1:55

way through flames, ignoring it

1:57

as they try to get

1:59

up to the top. A giant

2:01

set of rams are slammed

2:03

into the gates and begin pounding.

2:06

Bang! Bang! Bang!

2:08

Damage from the last

2:10

time you attempted to fight

2:12

the walls has not

2:14

yet been repaired and so

2:16

the doors break open

2:18

easily and quite quickly. Attackers

2:21

begin to swarm the

2:23

inside but immediately they're met

2:25

by the shambling dead.

2:27

They are innumerable. There's so

2:29

many more than you. Eaton

2:31

has been collecting them since potentially

2:33

the beginning of all this. And

2:35

in among them, you see Eaton's

2:37

fervent. Those who, despite

2:39

all of this, have stayed

2:42

next to Damien Eaton's side,

2:44

loyally and unflinchingly. They command

2:46

the undead, acting as his

2:48

sub -commanders, directing them, guiding them.

2:50

And under their command, the command

2:52

of these battle -hardened,

2:55

weary, But nonetheless,

2:57

loyal followers, they

3:00

attack with an

3:02

unheard of fanaticism

3:05

and destructive intent. Okay,

3:09

uh, do we go home? No? You

3:12

see attackers from the other side as

3:14

well begin to stream through, but they are

3:16

also met by the dead. It's difficult

3:18

to make any progress. Your

3:20

people are scared, fearsome

3:22

people. People who can be broken

3:24

and beaten, no matter how good

3:26

a speech you make, these dead. They're

3:29

not like that. They don't fear.

3:32

They don't run. They don't turn tail.

3:34

They don't question orders. And

3:36

their commanders know that this is the

3:38

last stand. They will all fight

3:41

to the death. The

3:43

dragon causes a total

3:45

darkness as it flies

3:47

overhead. It sails towards

3:49

the floating castle. All

3:51

right. All right. Salt to keep.

3:53

It's all the keep begin to push

3:55

forward each of you in turn

3:57

enters into single combat with one of

4:00

the dead So does the silver steel

4:02

help me better than gold and

4:04

sport against dead? The gauntlets if they're

4:06

activated are better than silver steel,

4:08

but that means you're taking damage damage

4:10

forward Yeah, so I might as

4:12

well just use the silver steel for

4:15

now until the battle gets desperate

4:17

This you contend with four of the

4:19

dead Oh, Rock, you contend with

4:21

six as you have charged ahead trying

4:23

to blaze a path. You're nearly

4:25

surrounded. And Leo, you

4:27

must also contend with four. Right.

4:30

Pierce, the cleric from before fights

4:32

next to you. As you

4:34

fight, you can direct him to fight

4:36

with you, so you make attack, he

4:38

follows it up. Oh, cool. Periwinkle, you

4:40

get goggles fighting beside you. Should have

4:42

given him Evelyn. You would have hated

4:44

it. Leo,

4:46

you fight next to Evelyn. Alright

4:48

then. You know what? You

4:51

get Clara as well, Periwinkle. Oh,

4:53

okay. Cool. She

4:56

won't speak to me. You can instruct Clara to

4:58

do more than just fight as well. She has magic

5:00

at her side, and she's powerful

5:02

against undead if she channels energy

5:04

away from them. Or towards them.

5:06

Adam. Yeah? Just cure moderate wounds,

5:08

hurt the zombies. Yes. Ah, that's awesome.

5:10

Holy shit, really? Yes. That's the

5:12

whole version's hurt them. They

5:14

can't be forced to drink health potions

5:16

like grenades health potions You need to drink

5:18

unfortunately, but if you have like your

5:21

wand I'll know you used its child. I've

5:23

got I've got spells for cute. Yeah,

5:25

those hurt them in the same way that

5:27

inflict spells hurt a person What weapons

5:29

does he have like a sword or a

5:31

morning star? He's wearing heavy armor. He

5:33

looks very Kitted out for a fight.

5:35

I'm gonna go with you first piece

5:37

So you're containing with four you've got

5:39

the cleric next to you. They're a

5:41

raid all in front of you Uh,

5:43

right. Uh... I'll just

5:45

cast Cure Light Wounds on one of them. You

5:48

grab him by the face and channel

5:50

Cure Light Wounds, you said? The

5:53

zombie crumbles to dust in

5:55

your hands. Then you've got

5:57

the cleric. Direct him to do something. Smack

5:59

him with your morning star, dickhead. Point

6:02

at one of the zombies, say that,

6:04

and he gives you like a mmmm,

6:06

look. But he moves forward

6:08

and clocks the zombie on its

6:10

head. The zombie's skull caves inside

6:12

and it topples backwards. That's right.

6:14

So you're down to two. Cool.

6:17

Perilinkle. You've got Clara

6:19

and goggles plus your own stuff.

6:21

And six. Six enemies?

6:23

Yeah, yeah. Well, obviously we're going to be lucky. back

6:26

-to -back bros in like a cool back -to

6:28

-back formation that you would do if you're

6:30

a team. And Clara's just standing there,

6:32

I suppose. Nah, she does it. She's

6:34

back -to -back with you as well. triangle.

6:36

It's triangle. triangle. Back -to -back's doable. So

6:39

yeah, yeah, that's what I mean. So we can each

6:41

face like two zombies. Can I

6:43

still use like cleave and great cleave with the

6:45

sword? Or is it only with the sword? Yeah,

6:47

with the sword. Great. I'm gonna go and just

6:49

try to kill as many as I can with

6:51

the sword. Your first swing? goes

6:53

clean over the head of one

6:56

of the zombies. One of the

6:58

sub -commanders informs it. Duck! You

7:00

cowardly clown! And

7:02

it ducks underneath your blow. But

7:04

when it comes back up, you just

7:06

stab it in its belly. Silver

7:09

steel warms in your

7:11

hands. It detects that you

7:13

are fighting a righteous cause. Yeah!

7:15

You destroy the zombie and your

7:17

blow keeps going. You catch

7:20

another one. You destroy

7:22

a second. But that's

7:24

it. That's all right. So

7:26

then you have Clara and

7:28

Goggles. So Goggles is gonna go

7:30

for his sort of zombie or zombie. Goggles

7:33

clocks it in its side, brumbling

7:36

part of its chest but not

7:38

downing it. Clara would be more effective

7:40

you use some kind of magical

7:42

attack on them. Yeah, sure. You can

7:44

direct her to do she has

7:46

like three uses of a big AoE

7:48

spell that can like really decimate

7:50

the area of zombies like get more

7:53

than just the six here get

7:55

them like basically any zombie that sees

7:57

her can be affected by this

7:59

spell uh but only three uses and you kind

8:01

of want to like you kind of want to

8:03

use it at a dire moment all right so

8:05

probably not one of the uses now not right

8:07

now now probably save it for a little bit

8:09

further in the fight i'll just get a user

8:11

morning star on the zombies yeah okay oh she

8:13

has just regular magic as well lesser magic but

8:15

any magic she uses against the zombies is magic

8:17

she can't use to heal you Yeah, use the

8:19

mace. She's got it there. Use the mace, alright.

8:22

She slams one of the zombies. Goes

8:24

to the heads, guys, too. She knocks

8:26

its head clear across the field, scoring

8:28

a goal. Good.

8:32

Leo. Evelyn also has that ability, not as

8:34

powerful as Clara, but she only has

8:36

one use of it as well to do

8:38

a devastating AoE attack. Okay. Area of

8:40

effect, if you is. Yeah, I like that.

8:43

What else does she have? Evelyn

8:45

she has some basic magic not

8:47

as powerful as Clara she can

8:50

like power herself She can hurt

8:52

the enemies and also she's very

8:54

good in a fight. All right

8:56

Well, I'm gonna do something uncharacteristic

8:58

of me and use a spell

9:00

Scatter spray at the zombies your scatter

9:03

spray sends loose bits of cobblestone

9:05

in all directions you kill three

9:07

of the four zombies Leo

9:09

does magic I'm

9:11

the grease boy Evelyn

9:13

looking only at

9:16

you being like What?

9:19

When she swings one of the sub

9:21

commanders has time to say back off

9:23

and the zombie takes a step back

9:25

and her blow is too short Just

9:27

kind of shrug it and move piece

9:29

to left. Um, glory smack him in

9:31

head when I smack him in the

9:33

legs You go blow he goes

9:35

high You slam into his leg, breaking

9:37

it. He slams into its skull,

9:39

breaking it. You're able to bring it

9:42

down. Parallel. I get goggles to

9:44

go for the zombie he's already wounded.

9:47

And I go for the other two. Goggles swings

9:49

far too hard and

9:51

his flammy, wet hands lose

9:53

grip of his weapon. His

9:56

dwarven battle axe sails

9:58

clear across the battlefield. Oh,

10:00

fuck. Landing somewhere

10:02

far away. Goggles is

10:04

now unarmed. Well

10:07

then, you slam into the one

10:09

that he was fighting, destroying

10:11

it. You bodily rush it, knock

10:13

it back, and then puncture

10:15

it with your sword. Your attack

10:17

keeps going, hitting the one

10:19

behind it, destroying that one. One

10:21

to go! Take a

10:23

step to the left! The zombie steps to

10:25

the left and is just out of your range.

10:27

How far away are the sub -commanders for the

10:29

zombies? You're gonna have to take another wave

10:31

of zombies, then you get to the

10:33

sub -commanders. cool there'll be more though

10:35

behind them you know i do have

10:38

a longbow i can give that to

10:40

goggles and he could try to just

10:42

aim for the sub commanders that's true

10:44

uh clara go for that last one

10:46

clara puts one of her gauntleted feet

10:48

on goggles's shoulder hey goggles cries out

10:50

boy she launches off goggles into the

10:52

air lands on the zombie pinning it

10:54

to the ground and slams her

10:57

mace into its head it's dead

10:59

thanks claire leo Alright, I'm gonna

11:01

try and flank this last Zombo.

11:03

Stab him. Both daggers. Yeah, you

11:05

should do. A classic. Summon

11:07

a block of water, then kick it. Slide

11:11

through the zombies grease the

11:14

floor grease the floor one

11:16

spell knock them down Leo

11:18

you stabbed it in its

11:20

belly zigzagging like a Zorro

11:22

while Evelyn cuts it neatly

11:25

in two making your hood

11:27

almost irrelevant Leo shadow way

11:29

Yes, oh no, no, it's

11:31

not your turn the zombies

11:33

other evens evens You're

11:35

the only one still contending with them. He's

11:38

I didn't say we're with you the

11:40

cleric. I don't know the cleric

11:42

shooter Shoot a Gavin. I just gave

11:44

him sure it cuz no one

11:46

introduced us There's only charges at cleric

11:48

shooter, but he just slams uselessly

11:50

against the shield and his heavy armor

11:52

good You feel he's not necessarily

11:54

the spear tip But you feral if

11:56

you just stood behind him, it'd

11:58

be nearly impossible to hit you. You literally

12:00

did that in the first fight we were in,

12:02

right? Just punched my way through doors and gnomes

12:04

until we got out the other side. that this

12:06

is almost a mirror of that fight. Ah, some

12:09

might say that was on purpose. Pierce, it's your

12:11

turn. I'll cast major image of a giant. And

12:14

have it attack my the other zombies.

12:16

I thought you said vagina octopus? Just

12:20

a vagina octopus. That's what I

12:22

heard as well It's not quite

12:24

an octopus and it's not quite

12:26

a vagina. I can't attack

12:28

anyone you know that right? Yeah, isn't that

12:30

what major image is? No, as soon as

12:32

someone interacts with it it disappears for me.

12:34

And what am I thinking here? That's a

12:37

fifth effort. Ah fuck. Sing him

12:39

a song. I don't have any

12:41

of those. That was funny. You

12:43

try to swing your loot at

12:45

it, but it's awkward trying to

12:47

attack around the cleric. The cleric

12:49

shoves forward with his shield, but

12:51

he just succeeds in knocking it

12:53

back. Then it is periwinkle. You

12:55

can move forward, but you'll be leaving

12:57

Pierce behind, but Leo can come up. That's

12:59

fine. We'll keep moving. I

13:01

hand my longbow to Goggles, who's

13:04

lost his hammer, and

13:06

I'm like, while we're clearing out these zombies, try

13:08

to get those sub -commanders. Alright, you

13:10

move forward, you got another six to

13:12

contend with. So really, we're kind of stepping

13:14

back from where Goggles is, so he's

13:17

got a clear shot for the sub commanders.

13:19

Yeah, Goggles will be behind you. Clara

13:21

and I face off against the first batch

13:23

of zombies. Goggles fires at the sub

13:25

commander, striking him in the chest. He doubles

13:27

over. Boom! Then you and

13:29

Clara, you cut one of

13:31

the zombies in two, but

13:33

your momentum is stopped partway through.

13:35

This zombie is wearing, perhaps

13:37

it was an old town guard.

13:40

And your attack catches on

13:42

some of its chainmail tunic. The

13:44

chainmail tunic wraps around your sword and

13:46

makes it too awkward to keep

13:48

going. The sub commander, after being struck,

13:50

yells out, Take a step

13:52

backwards you fool! The zombie steps backwards

13:55

and your blow passes in front

13:57

of it harmlessly. That's right. You take

13:59

out one of them nonetheless though. Then

14:02

Clara. Yep. She

14:04

brings her mace down upon

14:06

the brow of one of the

14:08

zombies. Just... moving forward with

14:10

a Like downward hitting motion She

14:12

knocks the zombies head into

14:15

its chest grabs the zombie and

14:17

pushes it backwards Bowling pin -esque

14:19

style knocking a bunch of

14:21

other ones over so two down

14:23

then Leo Okay, so there's

14:26

we move forward. I guess. Oh,

14:28

yeah, you'd like to move

14:30

forward. Is that three sub commanders in

14:32

front of us? Yes, you are fighting for

14:34

again. All right And so there's this four

14:36

and then there's sub -commander, yeah? So what's

14:38

sort of like after the sub -commander is anything?

14:40

Yeah, there'll be more zombies. Plus more sub

14:42

-commanders. They're kind of like arranged in circles

14:44

going towards the key. And you guys are

14:46

fighting your way forward while on the opposite

14:48

side, people are fighting their way towards you.

14:50

I'm just wondering if I So try and

14:52

sandwich them in. Yeah, pretty much. No,

14:55

fuck it. I'll use scatter spray again. Try

14:57

and get to that sub -commander quick. You

15:00

do super -fuelous damage to all of the

15:02

zombies. Not downing any of

15:04

them though. I'll get Evelyn to

15:07

try and attack a few of them.

15:09

Evelyn swings her greatsword, striking one

15:11

of them. Perhaps this one also

15:13

has chainmail armor. She catches it,

15:15

picks it up with her sword and

15:17

sends it sailing. Far off

15:19

into the fight. That's good. It's

15:22

gone. Dead. Very dead. Alright.

15:26

So we're versing three,

15:29

you've got four, and Pierce is still

15:31

doing it the first way. But we did knock a

15:33

few of them back Bowling can start. Yeah. Your

15:36

town guard, Falter. They're

15:38

pushed back heavily. If

15:40

it weren't for the

15:42

Sabres who hold their

15:44

ground steadily, you would

15:46

be isolated. The only people in this

15:48

fight right now are Sabres. Town guard

15:50

are pushed out of this section of

15:52

the city. Fuck. Jesus. Good

15:54

thing that we did go to the savers in

15:56

the end, because they're worth, how many did you say?

15:59

A hundred guardsmen? Each of them

16:01

is worth maybe ten guardsmen. Yeah, good.

16:03

Yeah, not fair. Yes.

16:05

You've still got one zombie before you.

16:07

I just cast Curelight Wounds on

16:09

it. You reach out to grab it.

16:11

Oh, damn it. This one

16:13

doesn't work, but man, the

16:15

magic fumbles are so good. You

16:17

accidentally heal your ally. Yes

16:20

Not me you fool your

16:22

attack hits your ally closest

16:24

to the target So now

16:26

he's got more health back

16:28

you reach out and try

16:30

to grab the zombie But

16:32

you grab the cleric instead

16:35

and channel healing energy into

16:37

him You're welcome. Thank

16:39

you. That's

16:41

what I meant, obviously. With

16:43

your hand resting on his

16:45

shoulder, he pushes the barrels

16:47

away forward for you. His

16:50

shield, which has wicked spikes

16:52

all over it, when he

16:54

slams it into the zombie,

16:56

it deals damage. Enough that

16:58

the zombie falls down, badly

17:00

wounded, and he just steps

17:02

onto it and over it, crushing

17:04

it into the dirt. So

17:07

next turn you'll be able to move

17:09

forward. Cool. Periwinkle. You've got

17:11

four left. Four left. Oh, uh,

17:13

first off, goggles. Fuck, he hits

17:15

the sub commander again. The sub

17:17

commander cries out in pain as a

17:19

second arrow protrudes, maybe from the

17:21

other islet in his armor. He

17:24

takes six points of damage. Bring

17:26

it on. I can't clip medium bays. Love

17:28

it at the sub commander. A

17:32

swarm of bees explodes

17:34

out of you. That's

17:37

my medium bees done. Got small

17:39

left. I got too small left. All right.

17:41

Does the rock kind of constantly smell just

17:43

slightly like honey? Oh yeah, I assumed. It's

17:46

honeycomb. It's literally honeycomb

17:48

necklace. Oh, that's awesome. You

17:51

deal 21 points of damage

17:53

to the sub commander and

17:55

all the undead around him.

17:57

Not only do you kill

17:59

him, You clear the

18:01

line that you have to work

18:03

out behind him. Hey, and you kill

18:05

the zombies in front of you

18:07

You can charge very far forward if

18:09

you want, but that will expose

18:12

you a lot I might come across

18:14

try to help these guys. All

18:16

right, cool. Does Pharah have any kind

18:18

of ranged attacks? Clara can spit

18:20

out ranged fire if she needs to.

18:22

Can I get at a Pharah

18:24

fireball at one of the sub commanders

18:26

attacking me guys? draws

18:29

a ball of energy into her

18:31

fist and then hefts it at that

18:33

sub commander. It misses him and

18:35

splashes on the ground near him. He

18:37

like turns around to see the

18:39

fireball that just missed him and looks

18:41

over at you guys. Hey,

18:44

bitch. He

18:46

waves. Hola. Leo,

18:48

it's your turn. All right, I'm

18:50

going to try and stab with

18:53

two of my daggers thunder this

18:55

into one of them whilst flanking

18:57

with Evelyn. You go

18:59

around the back of the

19:01

zombie and just start stabbing it

19:03

in the back. You make

19:05

many tiny punctures, but all you're

19:08

hitting is dead flesh. That

19:10

flesh falls like the flesh of its

19:12

back just falls off the zombie and

19:14

you realize it was never part of

19:16

the zombie. Evelyn

19:18

barrels forwards. She puts a

19:20

hand up against the creature's

19:23

face and channels energy into

19:25

it. It

19:27

explodes. What

19:31

a woman. Leo, you have not

19:33

taken damage. You feel a wave of

19:35

positive energy wash over you and

19:37

the undead around you. I'm feeling pretty

19:39

good. One of them is fine,

19:41

but the other one also exploits. She

19:43

kills two of them. She's fighting

19:45

with healing energies. Pretty cool. Then

19:48

the last on me that you're fighting

19:50

attacks Evelyn. She's wearing heavy

19:52

armor as well. When it charges at

19:54

her, she just sticks out her hand.

19:56

It's face slams into her hand.

19:58

And she schoolyard bully style

20:00

keeps it too far away for

20:02

it's a striker You do

20:04

not know what's happening to the

20:06

town guard. They've been pushed

20:08

too far back for you to

20:10

see anything and Even the

20:12

sabers are beginning to falter You

20:14

guys are isolated at this

20:17

point Can we see the sabers

20:19

on the other side in

20:21

how this we're coming from the

20:23

other direction? Yeah, we're also

20:25

being pushed back. You're slowly being

20:27

repelled. You're losing this fight

20:29

I like cleared like 12 zombies

20:31

with bees. Come on. There's

20:33

nearly a thousand 12 down only

20:35

1000 dragon. It's just flying

20:37

around fighting the blimp. Oh, it's

20:39

fucked off. You don't know

20:41

where it's gone. Okay, well My

20:44

turn again eggs have come home to

20:46

risk you may go with the gnomes So

20:48

now the dragon is busy fighting the

20:50

gnomes you may go with sabers So you

20:52

weren't isolated immediately and you have a

20:54

better fighting force also you have extra NPCs

20:56

Yeah, you didn't make good with the

20:58

orcs. You don't know what's happening there as

21:00

well You also know that there's supposed

21:03

to be ghosts here, which you have not

21:05

seen yet. What they inside the zombies

21:07

No, you guys assumed that's how it was

21:09

gonna work, but That's maybe

21:11

not how it was gonna work. All

21:13

right, then then it is pierces turn

21:15

again. We'll just move forward Yeah, all

21:17

right on by the way because you

21:19

guys are surrounded on the zombies turn

21:21

You're gonna just randomly take back attacks

21:23

from behind you cool. So

21:26

pierce you move forward You're

21:28

fighting for again. Wow Fucking

21:30

week. I'll just cast cure

21:32

light wounds on the Xambo

21:34

closest to me You

21:36

grab him around the cleric by

21:39

the leg and channel healing energy

21:41

into him the zombie crumbles Fly

21:43

one of them get a one

21:45

behind him cleric come on now

21:47

the cleric steps over the ashes

21:49

kicks them into the face of

21:51

the other zombie which Stumbles a

21:53

little bit and tries to see

21:55

through the ashes. It reaches out

21:58

clumsily He

22:00

slams its arm with his shield

22:02

knocking it out of the way and

22:04

also catching its arm dragging it down

22:07

Exposing the back of its neck then

22:09

Crack he brings his mace down upon

22:11

in the back of its head killing

22:13

that one as well. Yeah, bitch Periwinkle

22:15

you want to go back and help

22:17

piss so he's pissed the closest one

22:20

to me No Leo would be the

22:22

closest one to you, but Leo

22:24

looks like he's got that situation under

22:26

control. Yes is the one who looks

22:28

like he needs help You know, it's

22:30

always that So I order goggles and

22:32

Clara Clara fireball the sub commander Goggles

22:35

try to shoot the sub commander. I

22:37

don't start making ranged attacks and I

22:39

go to help piss All right, I

22:41

can't believe I'm about to do this

22:43

You slam into the side of the

22:45

two zombies that pissed in the cleric

22:48

are fighting you bring your sword down

22:50

upon one of them's brow Destroying it

22:52

your blow keeps going But

22:54

this sub commander on the left

22:56

hand side where piss is yells bring

22:58

your sword up This zombie slashes

23:00

at you with its sword and your

23:03

two swords slam against each other

23:05

The zombie sword shatters into a thousand

23:07

pieces, but protects it from the

23:09

blog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah That's your turn.

23:11

How did goggles and Clara go?

23:13

You you've got your back to them.

23:15

They're just hurling projectiles as best

23:17

they can Leo you see that they're

23:20

not making any hits, but They

23:22

are making that sub commander very worried.

23:24

So there's one one Zombo and

23:26

then there's a sub commander here. Yes.

23:29

All right. Can I get Evelyn to

23:31

stab the zombie so I can bum

23:33

rush the sub commander? All right. Evelyn

23:36

brings her sword level and

23:38

charges forward. She skewers the undead

23:40

and uses it as a

23:42

shield to get to the sub

23:44

commander. The sub commander pulls

23:46

like a hand crossbow fires it.

23:48

It slams into the back

23:50

of the zombie. She keeps going.

23:52

He pulls another one, fires

23:54

it, slams into the back of

23:56

the zombie. He has eyes

23:58

for nothing but the zombie and

24:00

Evelyn charging towards him. So

24:02

when you run up behind Evelyn,

24:04

climb up on her, leap

24:06

off her, he's caught completely unaware.

24:09

The classic in the side, in

24:11

the collarbone. All right.

24:13

You stab him once

24:15

in the shoulder. and

24:17

once underneath his shoulder

24:19

swing around him and

24:22

land behind him he

24:24

takes four damage from

24:26

your first blow and

24:28

then your lower wound

24:30

deals all right fuck

24:32

wait sneak attack shit

24:34

oh fuck he's fucked

24:37

he starts panicking good

24:39

it's there turn The

24:41

sub commander dies from blood loss. It

24:46

takes 12 points of damage

24:48

and dies. Um,

24:52

Kyrs, you only took that one. There's

24:54

only one left. The zombie turns

24:56

around and attacks you, Periwinkle. It

24:58

wraps an arm, a dead, clammy arm

25:00

around your ear and tears it off.

25:02

Oh boy, yes, my good ear. You

25:05

take eight points of damage. And now

25:07

you're deaf and one ear. What? This

25:09

is all fucked. Did

25:13

you get an ear patch? You

25:15

get attacked from behind

25:18

twice. Fuck. One

25:20

of them bites you in your

25:22

thigh. You take three points

25:24

of damage. It's but a light

25:26

blow compared to the other

25:28

one. Who grabs you, wraps his

25:30

arms around you, hugs you

25:32

close and starts feasting upon your

25:34

open supple neck. Where's

25:37

that moon out? I have a dawn. And

25:40

while you're distracted by that one

25:42

grabbing you, all of them get a

25:44

free attack. Oh, shit. Where's

25:47

old Clara? Mate, I'm also

25:49

there. So Greg Pierce becomes a

25:51

zombie wear rat. Oh, yes,

25:54

please. Undead and a

25:56

rat. They feast

25:58

upon you. You're on 17. Am

26:00

I? I've only taken one

26:03

here, haven't I? Periwinkle,

26:06

high as a lowest. Highs?

26:09

Highs? Periwinkle? You

26:11

get attacked from behind by two zombies as

26:13

well. These aren't zombies you need to fight.

26:15

These are just like, because you're surrounded, you're

26:17

taking attacks. One of them

26:19

bites you in the arm as you're

26:21

distracted by the first one. It tears

26:23

your arm apart. Your arm begins to

26:25

hang loose at your side. You can

26:27

still use it, but... scar is gonna

26:29

stay with you for the rest of

26:31

your life. Good, I like scars. Leo,

26:33

high's or low's? Low's. Low's.

26:35

Oh no. Damn it, you're in

26:37

so much trouble. One of

26:39

them runs past you, trying to

26:42

get you, skips off the

26:44

ground and like hits another zombie.

26:46

And as you're laughing, it

26:48

grabs you by the arm and

26:50

bites your eyes. Wet

26:53

-tongue. And so for

26:55

the next three rounds... All

26:57

critical hits are confirmed all

27:00

right, okay, okay, then You

27:02

hear a rousing yell from

27:04

beyond the walls and town

27:06

guards start streaming Yeah Boys

27:08

ah come on boys are

27:10

back in town let up

27:12

by the town guard charging

27:15

back in the Sabres renew

27:17

their effort as well and

27:19

the sub -commanders of the

27:21

Sabres start making their way

27:23

forward and leading from the

27:25

front. They start pushing heavily,

27:27

and then suddenly you're no

27:30

longer cut off from the

27:32

rest. They are at

27:34

even kilter with you,

27:36

Periwinkle. They've pushed past

27:38

Leo and Piss. Bring

27:40

it on! Wait. Some

27:42

of the sabers paladins have begun

27:44

summoning their magical mounts because there's

27:46

enough room for them to charge

27:49

back off charge again. Oh wow

27:51

Finally we're winning a fight comes

27:53

the cavalry at the moment though.

27:55

I shouldn't have said that I

27:57

should not have said that you'll

27:59

eat your words. Oh, okay. Probably

28:01

my arm Yes, you're clear to move

28:03

forward to I believe the sub

28:05

commander now. Yeah, you can fight

28:07

just him Radio I'll move

28:09

forward be like ill me dick head

28:11

to the cleric and run for the

28:13

subcommitted and on the subcommitter I'll cure

28:15

moderate wounds. He's not undead. You'll heal

28:17

him Oh Then lesser confusion you recover

28:19

19 hit points on the cleric. I'm

28:21

gonna call him dickhead from now on

28:24

That's great this even in this fight.

28:26

I think you just stuck around too

28:28

long. That's the feeling I get like

28:30

He's like, yeah, well, oh my god,

28:32

it's happening. It's that moment in the

28:34

movie where the character that shouldn't be

28:36

in the fight just ends up having

28:38

to fight anyway. Yeah. The sub

28:40

commander lowers his gaze to look at you.

28:42

You can tell that your spell is not

28:44

affected him. Shit. Well,

28:47

so I direct goggles and Clara to

28:50

shoot at that sub commander that

28:52

Greg Peas is dealing with. He takes

28:54

an arrow and a fireball. Still

28:56

alive? Yes, still alive. No

28:58

threat immediately near me is

29:00

there right? No cool small base

29:03

lob it towards that sub

29:05

commander The sub commander with his

29:07

sword and shield at the

29:09

ready has lowered his gaze at

29:11

you piss prepared to fight

29:13

and As he takes a step

29:15

forward you hear him now

29:17

some sort of insult at you,

29:19

but the insult is caught

29:21

up by the the exclamation as

29:23

Periwinkle's tiny little gems just

29:26

like off the side

29:28

of his helmet, but then

29:30

a roiling mass of bees

29:32

throwns him. Trying to work

29:34

its way into his armor.

29:36

He dreams. Leo,

29:38

it's your turn. Right. Can I

29:40

get Evelyn to heal me and also

29:42

then try and bum rush this

29:45

last dickhead? The sub commander on your

29:47

side? He's dead. Yeah. Oh,

29:49

you mean the dickhead for him? Yeah.

29:51

Oh. Okay. Yep.

29:53

You go for it. You

29:56

slide under him and slash

29:58

at his underside. So dick.

30:00

He's scrotum. The chop

30:03

is scrotum, dealing 8 points

30:05

of damage and dropping him.

30:07

He sways a little bit

30:09

but then topples backwards dead. Right,

30:13

that's that lot done. Alright,

30:15

you got another wave of zombies. Then another

30:17

wave of sub commanders. Where are we trying

30:20

to get to? We're just trying get to

30:22

the keep or? You're just conquering the army

30:24

here. Yeah, that's that's literally the mission, isn't

30:26

it? Mm -hmm defeat the enemy army. Haven't

30:28

seen no sign of the dragon. No sign

30:30

of the dragon. Alright We're

30:32

not surrounded though, are we? Everyone's caught

30:34

up to us, yeah? Yeah, no, no,

30:36

no. You hear cries from way back

30:39

where the town guard are cries of

30:41

surprise You try to crane your head

30:43

to look what's going on, but you're

30:45

in the thick of it You can't

30:47

see you can hear though the sounds

30:49

of combat coming from beyond the walls

30:51

The other side back where you came

30:55

Damn those orcs. So full of stealth

30:58

loading. You continue to, oh, the

31:00

sabers in the town guard continue to

31:02

hold their ground, but the fighting

31:04

is stalled not because you're not fighting

31:06

well, you're still fighting better than

31:08

the enemies, but soldiers are being directed

31:10

to your rear, basically, to protect

31:12

against whatever's happening there. Yeah. So now

31:14

it's like you guys have the

31:17

numbers advantage, but you no longer have

31:19

the numbers advantage. It's kind of

31:21

swaps. It's kind of like it. Pyramid

31:23

-y shape where there's more people behind

31:25

us than at the front. Yeah.

31:27

Uh, Pierce this dance, right? Yeah, you'd like

31:29

to charge forward. All right. Pierce, you have

31:32

to deal with three. Uh, I'll cue a

31:34

moderate one and get the cleric to, we'll

31:36

try like what we did before. I'll crumb

31:38

limit the dust, you jump over me, smack

31:40

the other in there. All right. You charge

31:42

forward, try to grab him. Yep. You wrap

31:44

both of your hands around the zombie's clammy

31:46

head, and its head just comes off. Right,

31:48

got him. The zombie's headless body staggers around.

31:51

I'll drop it and boot it like a football. The

31:54

head crumbles to dust as you

31:56

try to boot it, and your kick

31:58

goes through the chest, which is

32:00

also crumbling to dust. That's good. The

32:02

cleric grabs you from behind, drags

32:04

you back as one of the two

32:07

remaining zombies tries to take a

32:09

swipe at you. He whips

32:11

himself and you around, such that

32:13

now his back is facing

32:15

them, letting go of you, and

32:17

he continues with the momentum,

32:19

coming now with his mace around,

32:21

striking the zombie. destroying

32:24

it. Yeah bitch. Periwinkle.

32:27

You can face down the sub commander. Pierce

32:29

looks like he's going okay and so

32:31

does Leo. Great. Goggles. Go for our sub

32:34

commander. Clara and I, we're

32:36

going to advance. As you charge

32:38

forward, an arrow flies over you towards

32:40

the sub commander. It skips

32:42

off his shoulder pauldron though.

32:44

Not doing any damage. You

32:46

and Clara charge in. What would you like to

32:49

do? What would you like Clara to do? How many

32:51

zombies are we facing? It's a sub -commander. Well, because

32:53

we kill the line of zombies. You're

32:55

nearly to the center of this square. Clara's

32:57

there. you kill the sub -commander, you're

32:59

gonna be fighting your way now into

33:01

the rear of the group fighting the...

33:03

They'll have their backs to us, though.

33:05

Yes! Alright. I put Silversteel

33:07

away, because I'm charging into this guy.

33:10

I've got a healer with me. I'll pop

33:12

my gauntlets. It's on, bitch! You

33:16

swing and this sub commander

33:18

you immediately can tell is

33:20

a lot better at combat

33:22

as he steps back He

33:24

raises his helmet to look

33:26

at you properly and you

33:28

can tell that it's Lord

33:31

Triton Ariel's dad got Lord

33:33

Triton was Head of the

33:35

town guard before all of

33:37

this happened. He was commander

33:39

to um And

33:41

technically me too, I guess at some Yeah,

33:43

well, you never really spoke with him. No, I

33:45

was just way, way down. Does

33:48

he recognise me? He whispers to

33:50

you through the combat. Pera -winkle. Join

33:53

us. You swing

33:55

again, but maybe you're confused this

33:57

time, and he dodges the blow easily.

34:00

He joined you? How about fuck

34:02

no? Join you, how about

34:04

fuck? Clara comes round from

34:06

the side and tries to blind -sight

34:08

him. grabs the head

34:10

of her mace as she swings

34:12

and then crushes it to dust.

34:16

He's a little bit magic. Leo.

34:20

So where am I? Because I went over and

34:22

killed the... Or am I just back to

34:24

the... So Perowinkle is the tip of the spear,

34:26

charging forwards. You guys are on his flank,

34:28

making sure he doesn't get attacked from either side.

34:30

It's kind of important that you guys move

34:32

together. So I'm going to

34:34

leave, I guess... Greg, piss where I

34:36

was and go towards where Evelyn

34:39

is. Slot back into your chest. Slot

34:41

into your lane. I kind of

34:43

like glitched the game like... You are

34:45

finally facing Seven Zombies. Holy shit,

34:47

Evelyn. Yep, I think this is time

34:49

to use your AOE. Those seven. She

34:52

holds up her holy symbol in front

34:54

of the Seven Zombies barreling towards her

34:56

and yells, Lady

34:58

Willow commands you. Die,

35:01

foul beast. I'll

35:04

have a meanwhile standing over somebody going.

35:06

He rolls eyes. He's just in there.

35:09

Mame. Moats of

35:11

light leap forward off her

35:13

holy symbol, decimating rows of

35:15

zombies before her. Of the

35:17

seven, only one remains. Oh,

35:19

shit. I have a golden liquid,

35:21

then PW. What is that? That'd

35:24

be, golden liquid would

35:26

be a piece. No,

35:28

it'd be a daylight pellet. yes yes that's

35:31

what it is yeah we both had

35:33

one i called it a light pollution bomb

35:35

ah yes and yes that's not the

35:37

name of it either and the vial of

35:39

oil how long is that what does

35:41

that mean the vial of oil with the

35:43

blessing oil oh uh that's probably already

35:46

gone yeah it's gone that's definitely gone all

35:48

right then i'm gonna try and uh

35:50

thunder stab and venom stab but not venom

35:52

stab Okay, that was confusing,

35:54

but I understood what you -

35:56

Use the dagger, - Thunderstab and regular

35:58

stab. You start slashing and stabbing

36:01

and doing whatever you can to

36:03

this zombie? He

36:05

destroyed it. Cut it into

36:07

so many ribbons that there's not enough

36:09

of it to stay standing and it

36:11

starts falling apart. You stand before the

36:13

commander in front of you as well.

36:15

You see his face, he's not wearing

36:17

a helmet, but you don't recognise him.

36:19

You maybe know that he is someone

36:21

important, but you couldn't put a name

36:24

to the face. Evelyn, do

36:26

you know who that is? I came out

36:28

after everything happened. What

36:30

the hell he does? I've never

36:32

seen this man before in my

36:34

life. The sabers in their charge

36:36

have to charge around a set

36:38

of stables and because of that

36:40

the vast majority of their force

36:43

is hampered because bursting out of

36:45

the stables like a force it's

36:47

hard to describe all you could

36:49

say is like specters

36:51

or ghosts. They swoop

36:53

in at the sabers, knocking

36:55

a bunch off their horses,

36:57

scaring a ton of them

36:59

and causing general chaos. The

37:02

sabers begin to become beleaguered.

37:04

Parts of them become separated and

37:06

have to fight on their

37:08

own. The sabers are doing a very

37:10

poor job. But when the orcs

37:12

try to push through the gates and you

37:14

can see the orcs now, the

37:16

town guards step up. unaffected

37:18

by the spectres because the sabres

37:20

are dealing with them the

37:22

town guards take on both the

37:24

orcs and the undead on

37:27

their own and hold their own

37:29

yeah heroes they're all getting

37:31

promotions if i survive this fight

37:33

the orcish chieftain you can

37:35

tell because of his headdress and

37:37

characteristic armor hey it's that

37:39

guy again i've never seen you

37:41

since the start of the

37:44

game chieftain whiplock he stands upon

37:46

rubber Screaming, bellowing

37:48

orders. He grabs in both

37:50

hands his giant axe. Hefts

37:52

it into the crowd. His axe

37:55

cuts through two town guards,

37:57

embedding deep in a third

37:59

and then he reaches out.

38:01

A giant bolt of lightning

38:03

leaps from his hand to

38:05

the axe and then the

38:07

axe sails back into his

38:09

hands. He cries out

38:11

victoriously. and taking some of the

38:14

blood off the axe wipes

38:16

it on his face to show

38:18

his superiority. God, I hate

38:20

Orcs. I have to walk moves.

38:22

16, Town Guard, aim -bosit Whiplock.

38:24

All of them unleash at

38:26

once. Whiplock is so peppered with

38:28

arrows, he drops the axe

38:30

and collapses. Oh, fuck. Fuck yeah.

38:32

Not even one. Whiplock's

38:35

dead. Yeah. Town Guard are kicking

38:37

ass. The Orcs. Charmin, Charmin gets,

38:39

takes over. She's on the other

38:42

side behind where you guys are.

38:44

Yeah, that's all right. Uh, Pierce,

38:46

how many zombies are you fighting?

38:48

It tries to attack. It just

38:50

hopelessly throws itself against the cleric

38:52

shield. Periwinkle. Yeah.

38:55

Lord Triton still holding

38:57

Clara's broken weapon, yanks

39:00

her forward onto his

39:02

sword. Oh,

39:04

no. pointy

39:14

end goes there as

39:16

he drags her in he

39:18

snarls at her i'll

39:20

kill you you bitch she

39:22

with her free hand

39:24

grabs the sword rests it

39:26

from his control and

39:28

points it instead at him

39:30

and when they slam

39:32

together it embeds into him

39:34

she snarls back at

39:36

him you first That's

39:39

good. He takes one point

39:41

of con damage. They separate.

39:43

He pulls the sword and

39:45

tries to slash at her.

39:48

She slams the sword down with a

39:50

gauntlet at fist and it skips

39:53

off dirt. The guy

39:55

you and Evelyn are

39:57

fighting. He

39:59

reaches out with a hand

40:01

and a gigantic bolt of

40:04

lightning leaps from his head

40:06

and Blasts through you that

40:08

through Evelyn and down a

40:10

line of the town guard

40:12

He kills nine members of

40:15

the town. Oh, oh, oh,

40:17

bitch Fucking sub commanders. God

40:19

damn it. I'll tell you

40:21

what all right. We'll get

40:23

him and deals. Oh, no

40:26

That was a lot of

40:28

die. 16 points

40:30

of damage to you and Evelyn.

40:32

Oh! Poof! I

40:35

did not. Not for all

40:37

ashes away in time. Your

40:39

reflexes cannot do lightning.

40:41

They are, uh, frozen.

40:43

Piss. Now just pour holy water

40:45

on the zombie. Pour it on your

40:48

loot. Oh yeah, I'll lube up my

40:50

loot with holy water. That'll be your

40:52

action. That's fine, then the pirate can

40:54

get it. For

40:58

Hollywood, it's just on the cleric. The cleric

41:00

gives you an odd look. Don't

41:03

fucking over me. He slams the

41:05

zombie with his shield and hits

41:08

it with his mace. The

41:10

zombie goes down. It's

41:12

you standing before

41:14

a commander. Oh, you're

41:16

right. You look in

41:18

a rumble. You recognise this one? Show me my

41:20

dick. Have

41:22

you recognised this one? No,

41:24

your wife might. It's

41:27

a woman. Fuck you. You know

41:29

what is Lady Forrester? Have we ever

41:31

slept together? Nah, she's way too

41:33

nice for you. That's fair.

41:35

You know Lady Forrester is more

41:37

of a mage than a fighter? You

41:39

know that she has a powerful

41:41

natural magics about her? You are aware

41:43

of the concept of a druid? You

41:46

wonder where her tiger is? There.

41:50

It is Perlinkelstein. You

41:53

continue to fight Lord Trident? Yeah, yeah.

41:55

Goggles is firing arrows, right? Yeah.

41:57

Bring the stingers out. Apis, bang. First,

42:00

you go low, stabbing him in the

42:02

belly, looking him dead in the

42:04

eyes. He turns from Clara to look at

42:07

you, surprised. And you

42:09

begin to just work your stinger

42:11

all around in his gut.

42:13

You feel it. catch on his

42:15

lungs because you have sensation

42:17

through it and you drag down

42:19

and around as you drag

42:21

them down and around you feel

42:24

it catch on his intestines

42:26

you drag them up and around

42:28

oh you feel it wrap

42:30

around his heart begins to wrap

42:32

around you're just churning his

42:34

insides like a big pot of

42:36

spaghetti that you put a

42:38

like a spoon in and stirred

42:41

around you deal jesus hage

42:43

jesus hage willikers 42 points

42:45

of damage. Then,

42:47

as you swing with your

42:49

next blow, his

42:51

gauntleted fist grabs your

42:53

gauntleted fist, jerks. You

42:55

hear a snapping in your arm,

42:58

and he redirects your blow

43:00

into your eyes. Jesus.

43:02

The world goes dark. Both

43:04

eyes? Am I blind? Everything

43:06

is dark. Have

43:09

I told Goggles and Kalara what to do? What

43:11

did you want them to do here? Goggles, I wanted

43:13

to shoot an arrow at. Dick face. I'm

43:15

now gonna tell Clara, fix

43:17

my eyes. I

43:19

can't. Oh, fuck.

43:21

You're now my

43:23

eyes. All

43:25

right, then.

43:29

I'm draining his hit

43:31

points. She drains 25

43:33

hit points from the map.

43:35

Fuck me. Right, I tell

43:37

Evelyn if we can try that maneuver we

43:39

did again where she just bum rushes. and

43:42

I try and do that sneak attack

43:44

behind. You're using the sentence, and that sneak

43:46

attack behind, and you realise you're talking

43:48

to a giant cloud of dust in the

43:51

shape of Evelyn. She's

43:53

charging forward, got her sword

43:55

in a readied stance,

43:57

screaming. I try and run into

43:59

a flip here. She

44:01

slams into this guy. piercing

44:03

him straight through the belly.

44:05

He doubles over in agony.

44:07

You run over her back,

44:10

grabbing his tunic as you

44:12

come down and you stab

44:14

once. Then when you've got

44:16

that dagger, you stab a

44:18

second time. See, then

44:20

it is the target's turn.

44:22

Time to get that by a...

44:24

Tiger. You're not wondering where

44:27

the tiger is for very long.

44:29

A field mouse scampers towards

44:31

you, it leaps through the air

44:33

at you, and as it

44:35

leaps, it turns into a tiger

44:37

mid -jump. Ah, fuck. The

44:39

tiger odds or evens. Odds.

44:42

Lands on you. Fuck! Fuck,

44:48

Pierce, you're the luckiest boy in

44:50

the world. The tiger leaps over you

44:52

too far. And as it comes

44:54

down, the cleric swings with his morning

44:56

star, catching the tiger right in

44:58

its face, it yips, and then tumbles

45:00

and over and into the dirt. The

45:03

tiger is blinded for three rounds.

45:05

Blind tiger, get it good. The

45:07

cleric spins around, such that his

45:09

back is to you. He says,

45:11

you got the woman? Oh, his.

45:13

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All

45:16

right. Yeah, I bet I don't.

45:18

The woman charges forwards with a

45:20

scimitar. She screams. All right, good.

45:22

Slashes at you with the scimitar.

45:25

You take five points of damage. All

45:27

good. All right. The tiger's

45:29

blind and prone. Give me the

45:31

tiger, Flurry. I'm sorry.

45:33

Is that directed at me? Yeah. Oh,

45:35

fuck. Odds. Odds. You

45:38

hear Clara? Scream. My hand!

45:41

you feel something warm

45:43

splash on your face

45:45

then uh leo the

45:47

guy slowly starts pulling

45:50

himself off eveline's sword

45:52

and backing up he

45:54

gets a couple feet

45:56

away from you and

45:58

then a burst of

46:01

wind buffets both you

46:03

and eveline Both

46:05

of you fall prone and

46:07

are blown far back away

46:09

from him You don't take

46:12

any damage, but he's not

46:14

fighting you anymore. You got

46:16

a deal with some zombies

46:18

next time The sabers get

46:20

a hold of themselves and

46:22

begin cutting down the spectres.

46:25

As they are the only

46:27

people who can have magical

46:29

weapons, they take it upon

46:31

themselves to blunt the force

46:33

of the spectres against the

46:35

town guard. They take heavy

46:37

losses, but in the fight,

46:40

they begin to win against

46:42

the thousands of spectral soldiers.

46:45

They're slowly making progress and some

46:47

of them begin mounting up

46:49

again and charging into the undead

46:51

hordes. Some of them even

46:53

devote themselves to the orcs. And

46:55

as the orc chieftain starts

46:57

casting a prayer over the enemy

46:59

soldiers, reaching out with an

47:01

empty hand and an outstretched arm

47:03

holding a stick with some

47:05

sort of weird magical rattle on

47:07

it, mid -spell, a

47:09

sabre rides past, swings

47:11

a sword and lops the shaman's head

47:13

off. So far the orcs have

47:15

been about as useful as my eyes

47:17

in this fight. Leaderless,

47:20

the orcs begin to flee. Hound

47:22

guard chase them and cut them

47:24

down easily. The orcish

47:26

forces go from like

47:28

800 to maybe 400

47:30

in the matter of

47:32

like 30 seconds. Hound

47:35

guard destroy them. Hound guard

47:37

has been doing very well, gotta

47:39

say. Piss. I'll

47:41

just cast like confusion on her. Just

47:43

regular confusion. You see her throw it off

47:45

as if it were nothing. The

47:48

cleric, what do you want him to do? Swap

47:51

places! Swap places! You swap

47:53

around, the cleric barrels forward towards

47:55

her. On you Gavin. He

47:57

swings, but she ducks underneath the

47:59

blow and laughs at him.

48:01

Rude. Shit. Paragon. Uh,

48:03

I'm blind, but he's still holding onto the

48:05

gauntlet that's like pinned me in the face, so

48:07

we're still close to one another. Yeah, you

48:09

can still feel him breathing on you. Great. He's

48:12

got a visor, yeah? Yes. Am I close

48:14

enough to like grab the helmet? You

48:16

could try. You're blind though, so it's like, where is

48:18

it? What are my chances of grabbing the helmet

48:20

and just slamming bees into the visor, into the helmet

48:22

and shutting the visor on him? 50 -50. That's good

48:24

odds. Fuck it. My odds are going to be

48:26

the same whether I try and hit him in my

48:28

gauntlets as well, because I'm too. You're going to

48:30

take damage even if you jam it into his thing.

48:32

Bees will come out. The bees do not obey

48:34

you. No, no, I know. They just attack whatever's in

48:37

the area. And then shut the visor on him

48:39

to try to trap them in the helmet as much

48:41

as possible. All right. 50. Also,

48:43

gobbles is arrowing. I can't

48:45

hit him with you in the

48:47

way, boss. How

48:49

bad's Clara hurt? She's

48:52

standing. Good.

48:54

Awesome. How's it

48:56

look? Loose

48:58

this time. He

49:00

gets price. You grab his helmet, pop

49:03

it open, and then jam

49:05

bees into his face. What

49:07

the hell are bees? Why's

49:10

the shot? Fuck you, barrel

49:12

wiggle. Jesus. What

49:16

a way to go. What

49:18

level bees? They're just the

49:20

small, the last bees I've got. You

49:23

hear him like, hit the dirt.

49:25

Skoggles yells from behind you. You

49:27

got him, boss! Clara!

49:30

You hear Clara muttering. Oh, goddess,

49:32

please. Please bring me my

49:34

hand back. Oh, boy. Who could

49:36

he definitely be? Leo. Right,

49:40

eight Zambies, huh? So, I'm going to order

49:42

Evelyn to try and chop as many as

49:44

she can, and then I will mop up

49:46

the drinks. That's good. Fair call. Evelyn.

49:49

her greatsword on the end it's

49:51

got like a flare like a

49:53

barb almost to it as if

49:55

it were designed like an arrow

49:57

you did not know why that

49:59

was the case until now you

50:01

notice that that is what hooked

50:03

that first zombie and she uses

50:05

that again to hook this zombie

50:07

which she picks up and then

50:09

bodily throws it back in the

50:11

direction you came you think purposely

50:13

directing it at the commander that

50:15

you guys were fighting She screams

50:17

into the crowd. I'll kill you!

50:20

I'm going to wear

50:22

your teeth! The

50:24

zombie lands in between Evelyn and

50:26

the sub commander who is white

50:28

in the face looking at Evelyn. Is

50:31

Evelyn just a human? Yeah. They're

50:33

cool. Half barbarian. Then...

50:38

Oh, she kills one of them. Leo?

50:40

I'll try and stab a couple. You

50:42

try to fight ones that Evelyn isn't

50:44

fighting? You slash a

50:46

dozen times at the legs of

50:48

one of them. It topples over

50:50

backwards like a tree Hits the

50:52

dirt and does not get up.

50:55

It's not dead, but it can't

50:57

get up. Well, it's no longer

50:59

a hazard then Three of the

51:01

zombies attempt to grab at Evelyn,

51:03

but she whips once with her

51:05

sword a second time and You

51:08

don't think zombies can feel fear,

51:10

but they frankly look like they're

51:12

showing fear. She's a scary

51:14

lady. Let's go with some evens.

51:16

The other three zombies try to

51:18

charge Yulia, but Evelyn steps in

51:20

between you and the zombies and

51:22

screams at them. Spittle flies from

51:25

her face at the zombies. They

51:27

slow down to engage her. She grabs

51:29

one of them and slams the other

51:31

two with them. I'm afraid.

51:33

I don't want to admit this,

51:35

but... amazing. She's like a powerhouse.

51:37

Piss the tiger gets up. Ah,

51:40

fuck. It's

51:42

trying to find you, but it can't. Oh,

51:44

that's good. The lord

51:46

that you're fighting, Lord Lady Forrester,

51:48

grabs a mound of dirt and

51:50

hurls it at the cleric. It

51:52

strikes the cleric in the chest

51:54

and vines. They try to wrap

51:56

around him, but he grabs the

51:58

big, massive vines and tentacles and

52:00

tears it off him, chucking it

52:02

to the ground. It crumples up

52:04

into dead leaves. Our

52:06

Periwinkle, your one's dead. Yep. You

52:08

get a round of relief. Oh, I'm gonna have

52:10

a potion. Take a breather. Take a breather,

52:12

man. Have a smoker. I imagine Evelyn

52:15

would be able to fix my eyes. Evelyn

52:18

or Dickhead. Evelyn or Dickhead might be

52:20

able to sort you out. With the Orcs

52:22

retreating and the Spectres dealt with, the

52:25

Town Guard and the Sabres

52:27

turned their attentions back on

52:29

the undead. The fight has

52:31

turned from lopsided against them,

52:33

lopsided against you, even... against

52:35

them. The town guard and sabers

52:37

begin making progress. You can

52:40

see that on the opposite side,

52:42

they're nearly to you. Oh, that's

52:44

good. That's good. That's going to be useful. Piss.

52:46

Stay on the cleric. Can I jump on

52:48

the back of the tiger's head and, like,

52:50

almost mount the tiger and then slam my

52:52

loot onto the back of its head? Because

52:55

the tiger is blind. If

52:57

you... Yeah, you can try. Yeah,

52:59

I'll give it a go. Like

53:02

if we're getting an explanation, I was just like, no, you

53:05

know what? Fuck it. Just give it a crack. Just do

53:07

what you need to. Have a red hot go, Sonny Jim.

53:10

Get in there, bud. You leap

53:12

onto it and slam downwards,

53:14

breaking one of its front paws.

53:16

The tiger cries out in

53:18

pain. So does Lady Forrester. Are

53:20

they connected? Yeah. The tiger's

53:22

leg is broken. Jesus. What

53:24

do you want the cleric to do? Gather,

53:26

draw it, dickab. I got the tiger.

53:28

He barrels forward. You're going to

53:30

kill me. Are you going to kill

53:33

me? She yells as he charges

53:35

forward. Yeah. Yes. And you whip around

53:37

to see the cleric tackle Lady

53:39

Forrester to the ground. He

53:41

puts a hand to her forehead

53:43

and says, I'm going to

53:45

do more than that. What?

53:48

He begins pulling at something on

53:50

her face. You're not sure what's

53:52

happening until you recognize it from

53:54

when the blood cultists did it

53:56

to you. Oh boy. He begins

53:58

pulling her soul out through her

54:01

mouth. Whoa. Wait shit, first

54:03

soul goes, am I just riding a normal tiger? He

54:06

finishes. With a flourish. Tearing

54:09

her soul out through her mouth. He

54:11

lets it go air. No, no, Chuck,

54:13

it's a leaf. Damn it. You

54:17

all see the soul streaking towards

54:19

the sky. What was that weird

54:21

noise? It sounded like a soul

54:23

streaking towards the sky. Lady Forrester

54:25

convulses and then goes still. Damn

54:27

it, that delicious soul. The tiger

54:29

turns back into a regular tiger

54:32

and starts freaking out. No! I

54:34

just think you've just got a taste for

54:36

souls. I do, bitch. What

54:39

could be delicious? Oh, look at

54:41

that one go. Periwinkle. Your vision returns.

54:43

Oh, hey. Oh, just in time to

54:45

see it disappear into the clouds. That's

54:48

weird. So I look around. You're

54:50

clear. You can start charging towards the

54:52

other side. Clara's good. Clara's like, you know,

54:54

the in Deadpool, like the little baby

54:56

hand. Yeah, it's like that rapidly growing to

54:58

a full sized hand. Of course, it

55:00

should be doing that. I'm going to have

55:02

a potion because I've got three, I

55:04

think. There's still a one

55:06

sub commander left. Yours. Yeah.

55:09

And it's 65. That's

55:11

good. That's good. No, wait. Whatever,

55:14

65. I think I did

55:16

the maths wrong. That's all right. I was doing bad

55:18

maths too. I was on like not as high

55:20

as I thought I could be. Anyway, uh, well, I

55:22

don't need Clara to heal me. She's healing herself. Goggles!

55:25

Sir! Get that commander!

55:28

Aye, sir! His arrow lands true

55:30

and the commander's thigh. What

55:33

the fuck? Seven points of damage. Oh, he's

55:35

down. Hey! We've killed

55:37

all the commanders. What the fuck?

55:39

He falls over. No

55:41

one's fighting anyone? I'm zombies riding a

55:43

tiger. The fight begins to die down. Pierce,

55:45

if you want to just get off

55:47

the tiger, can I get off the tiger

55:49

and like smack it on the bum?

55:51

It runs into the zombies. Get

55:53

him, dickhead. Not you, dickhead. The

55:55

tiger runs into a group of zombies,

55:57

freaks out and starts attacking them. Hello,

56:01

beastie. Hello, beastie.

56:04

Jackson barely getting two pipes of the

56:06

Caribbean references in. doing good yeah

56:08

yeah yeah you guys stand in

56:10

the clearing in the center there's no

56:12

human allies of eaten left just

56:14

a horde of zombies that are slowly

56:16

being picked off which are the

56:18

other side where we're sandwiching them in

56:20

yep your men start slowly trickling

56:22

through to the other side the zombies

56:25

are hopelessly surrounded they start being

56:27

cut down We winning you take a

56:29

breather each of you sick the

56:31

town guard and the Sabres are doing

56:33

so well now Zombies are not

56:35

a hassle for you guys anymore. All

56:37

right, great. Well, do we all

56:39

just does anyone need some yeah, yeah

56:41

gets a potion Barra turns around

56:43

and says I'm I'm out of magic

56:45

I'll down the cleric says I've

56:47

got some magic left, but taking souls

56:50

is not easy That's okay. We've

56:52

I've been moderate potion. I'm on a

56:54

reasonable amount of health health potion As

56:57

for you, Magisterna, feel free

56:59

to go ashore. For the

57:01

next time we make port!

57:03

It's such a... It's the

57:05

this bit, it's the... The

57:07

next time we make... It's

57:09

because he's having such a

57:11

good time. He thinks he's

57:13

so funny. And that's awesome.

57:17

The sky is blotted out by darkness.

57:23

Do you think this fight

57:25

is over? He swoops down

57:27

over the town guard who's scattering

57:29

his presence. He breathes a

57:31

burst of acid. It slams like...

57:33

Good thing I've got that cloak on.

57:37

Making a giant line

57:39

along the ground

57:41

in one attack. Eatin'

57:44

kills. Uh -oh,

57:46

uh -oh. 25

57:48

members of the Town Guard. Well,

57:51

I've got the cloak on, so I should be safe

57:54

Yeah, get that cloak. You get the cloak resistance.

57:56

If I have the resist energy asset potion, do

57:58

I drink that to up my acid resistance? Yes.

58:02

Each of you feel a

58:04

wave of fear clutch at

58:06

you. Oh, of you are

58:08

frozen, unable to move, just

58:10

gazing at the creature. It

58:13

swoops down again. 91

58:16

and sabers are killed.

58:19

It slams into the

58:21

ground, swiping, bang,

58:23

bang. Tearing giant suites

58:25

out of the ground. A

58:27

spell rips out of one of

58:29

its hands the giant lightning

58:32

bolt that's so much bigger.

58:34

A large section of the

58:36

keep is blasted apart and

58:38

showers of rocks fall down

58:40

upon the crowd. People

58:42

are being killed left, right and

58:44

center. Jesus. You're still rooted

58:46

to the ground in fear, unable

58:48

to act. Damien

58:50

Eaton kills 38 people stomping

58:53

on them. Any Damien Eaton

58:55

was the winning ticket. Damien

58:59

Eaton was the winning ticket.

59:01

Finally. Damien Eaton stops stomping

59:03

around and turns to face

59:05

you three. Do

59:07

you think this is over?

59:10

I am worth a thousand

59:12

of your armies! And

59:14

finally, you're able to move.