Episode Transcript
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details. John's
1:11
Outpost is a bustling city
1:13
located in the nation of
1:15
Goldcrest, a nation that nobody
1:17
cared about until the king was slain
1:19
by a bunch of adventurers. Unfortunately, adventurers
1:21
did what adventurers do, and they didn't
1:23
think of the consequences of killing a
1:25
powerful tyrant, and they promptly left the
1:27
citizens a gold crust to figure it
1:29
out for themselves. For
1:32
now, Jaren's Outpost is a melting
1:34
pot of religions, criminals, politics, and
1:36
paranoia, with everyone keeping everyone else
1:38
in check. But all that's
1:40
about to change. Welcome to
1:43
the enhanced edition of Jaren's
1:45
Outpost. Alright,
1:48
I'll head back to the cop shop then. That's the name of the place.
1:51
Pops aren't a thing, but it's called the
1:53
cop shop. No, it's the cop shop because
1:55
it's C -O -P -P -E. Like, the
1:57
old cop shop. The cop is shoppy. Did
2:00
you got a cop it? The shop where you cop
2:02
the law. You all reconvene at the cop shop? Did
2:04
I do anything with the dwarves? Oh, right. Fuck, sorry.
2:06
It went swimmingly good. It
2:09
was great. You're best of friends. Thank
2:11
God. As you approach one of the
2:13
dwarven ships, it turns to face you.
2:15
Some ballastae on the side of the
2:17
ship are vaguely aimed in your direction.
2:19
I'm like, really? I'm a halfling on
2:21
an upside -down boat, and you're aiming
2:23
that at me? By the
2:25
time you're basically next to the ship, a
2:28
stocky dwarf leans over the side,
2:30
arms folded with a big smile
2:32
on his face. You
2:34
actually recognize his face, and Captain De
2:37
Silva calls out to you saying, well,
2:39
what are you doing there, little boy?
2:42
Captain De Silva! I want
2:44
arms outstretched like a baby reaching up
2:46
for his dad's art. He's like, eh!
2:49
Captain De Silva! Help me
2:51
up! The arts dwarves lower like a
2:53
net sort of thing that you can
2:55
clamber onto and they haul you up.
2:57
Oh, fuck! Captain
3:00
the Silver is as flamboyant as ever.
3:02
Instead of his regular hat though, he's
3:05
wearing some sort of official kind of
3:07
looking dwarven navy hat. But his like
3:09
clothing is just as colorful as it
3:11
was before. Holy shit, Captain Silver, how
3:13
are you? How you been? Man, haven't
3:15
seen you in an age. Captain the
3:17
Silver leads you to his like personal
3:19
quarters. You sit down. You probably like
3:21
offers you a change of clothes if
3:23
you want. Thank you. I'm very sad
3:25
I recently lost a friend. You addressed
3:28
very flamboyantly. That is good for me.
3:30
Perfect for sneaking into a castle. Every
3:32
article of clothing is a different fluro
3:34
colour. God, that's good. What
3:36
are you doing here? Captain Silver explains
3:38
to you that a couple of years
3:40
ago... He started working with the dwarven
3:42
merchant company. Mm -hmm. He hasn't been
3:44
home in a long time He tells
3:46
you but he's instead now working for
3:48
kind of like a subsidiary of one
3:50
of the dwarven clients They offered him
3:52
a pretty sizable check now fair for
3:54
his services I like that he remembers
3:56
me. That's all right. That's so good.
3:58
But I feel like Captain Isilva is
4:00
also the kind of person that remembers
4:02
everyone he meets. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you
4:04
guys are like drinking pretty heavily. De
4:07
Silva insists. He tells you it's good for
4:09
someone who's been wet. He hasn't changed. All
4:12
right, I keep drinking. I'm half drowning myself.
4:14
And half, like, it's a skull. seems quite happy.
4:16
It's like, I lost a friend, but an
4:18
old friend. He seems quite happy
4:20
with everything. He's like, Things are going really
4:22
well for him. He's like been on the
4:24
up and up pretty steadily. His life's completely
4:27
turned around. When he first met him, he
4:29
like had one ship. Now he's a Commodore.
4:31
He's no longer Captain De Silva anymore. He's
4:33
Commodore De Silva. Congratulations, Commodore De Silva. He
4:35
explains to you, probably, I assume, asked why
4:37
the dwarves are here. They
4:39
normally come here around this time every year.
4:42
They'd heard Or they were aware that the
4:44
orcs had taken the docks because they saw
4:46
orcish ships in the dock. But they didn't
4:48
know, they didn't really know or care what's
4:50
happening in Jaren's Outpost. They were just there
4:53
to try and free up the dock so
4:55
that they could resume trading. Well, I tried
4:57
to fill him in as much about Jaren's
4:59
Outpost, just to lay the land. And basically,
5:01
if you could help us out, that'd be
5:03
just great. Captain the Silver gives you a
5:06
very pained expression. Unfortunately, lad,
5:08
the ships are, well, I command
5:10
them, but they're not really mine.
5:13
I have permission to act within a certain
5:15
boundary, but there's only so much I can
5:17
do. And we're not allowed to interfere with
5:20
local politics, and I feel this is very
5:22
close to local politics. Potentially, but... I can
5:24
wrangle you some things, but... All right, well,
5:26
what can you wrangle me? What can you?
5:28
Well, we're allowed to fight
5:31
orcs wherever we see them, so
5:33
maybe I see some orcs near
5:35
where the keep is. We
5:37
fire our catapults, no one's gonna think twice
5:39
about that. Well... That just so happened because
5:41
I'm pretty sure maybe that keep is full
5:44
of orcs. Well, in
5:47
that case, I think we'd have to shell
5:49
that place till it wasn't standing anymore. I
5:51
think that'd be a pretty good idea. Get
5:54
rid of all them orcs. Wow, that's definitely
5:56
something I'd have to do. Yeah, that's a
5:58
pretty good idea. Commodore to Sylvie, just shell
6:00
that place around about midnight when the orcs
6:03
would be sleeping. That might be all that
6:05
I can do though. I think that's more
6:07
than enough. Alright. And if you'd
6:09
help me just, uh, put it in the boat,
6:11
it'd be also real good. Ah, that boat's full
6:13
of holes, you don't want that one? Yeah, maybe
6:16
we'll lose a boat. Maybe
6:20
like weapons on it too man after
6:23
so many things bad that happen to
6:25
you You're gonna be sailing that way.
6:27
It's good. You're gonna be scaling that
6:30
wall. We will be scaling that wall
6:32
about you'll need a ballast day to
6:34
fire that grappling hook Yes, we would
6:37
need a ballast day. Yeah, maybe we
6:39
lose one of them as well It
6:41
means that bad things are around the
6:44
corner Probably only for me like you
6:46
have like another drink. It's Getting
6:48
kind of late, you stumble a
6:50
little bit out of Captain the
6:53
Silver's office. I'm like, hey, meat
6:55
pie, you've never... Oh. Oh,
6:57
that was so... My heart.
7:01
You're breaking it. I quietly get
7:03
into the boat. Pour
7:06
one out for our homie meat pie. So
7:11
sad. Maybe I'll get a seagull this
7:13
time. Oh
7:18
Danny boy! The
7:21
pipe! Sorry.
7:24
Sorry. Yes. A ballastate, a smaller
7:26
one, but one that you can
7:29
attach a rope to the bolt,
7:31
is fixed into a boat, roughly so
7:33
that it can be kind of fired
7:36
from the boat. You're given some basic
7:38
instructions on how to operate a ballastate
7:40
because you probably don't know how, and
7:42
just in case your friends don't know
7:44
how either. They lower two
7:46
boats down, one with a bunch of dwarves
7:48
in it, one with you in the Ballastay.
7:50
Oh, thank you. Meeting Pomodora Silver was the
7:52
best thing that's happened to us this whole
7:54
game. And the
7:56
dwarves row you back to shore. Where do you
7:59
want to be? What would be the
8:01
most strategic to kind of be so we can get there?
8:03
Would it be near Tigalai? Tigalai? Yeah. Near
8:05
your strongest allies. would say near
8:07
little Tigalai. And yeah, we'll go
8:10
from there. Can
8:12
I acquire? Paper and pen. How are you
8:14
going to fuck? You certainly can. I would
8:16
like to write out of eye shot from
8:18
my eye, looking up, pretend
8:20
to stab me, and then remove
8:23
my eye and throw it away.
8:25
And I'm going to hand it
8:27
to Leo when I see him.
8:30
What is this going to do? Well,
8:33
then the sabers are like, damn, Greg,
8:35
I'm faking my own death. It's
8:38
good, but we can't allow them to confirm. As if that's
8:40
going to last. It'll last long enough. We
8:43
need them to attack the base. Well, we'll wait till
8:45
after that, but that's my plan. Although I feel like
8:47
the dwarves shelling the shit out of it would be
8:49
enough. Potentially, but then a dragon might
8:51
come down. So look, we want to go down the
8:53
savers. We want a lot of pandemonium is all. But
8:56
when the time comes, that's what we're
8:58
doing. OK. I got to fake my death from
9:00
the savers. Or I just marry the girl. What
9:03
do you do? Then the blood cult still have your soul.
9:06
Yeah. Yeah, well, we'll sort that out. When
9:08
the time comes, I'll cross that
9:10
bridge. so the three of you
9:12
plus a bunch of hangers on
9:15
excuse me they're they're good friends
9:17
they're good are are finally able
9:19
to reconvene at your local tavern
9:21
right ill cop tavern does my
9:23
eye look different well what's your
9:26
original eye color bright green one
9:28
of your eyes is a regular
9:30
looking bright green and one of
9:32
them is a apt piece yellow
9:34
do we Even though
9:37
just his eyes are fucked or
9:39
do we not care? He's just
9:41
like alcohol poisoning, I guess. Is
9:43
this yellow eye is looking around
9:45
completely like without... Can I get
9:47
an eye patch? Sure.
9:49
Yeah, I'll just eye patch. Well, no, but if
9:51
you eye patch it then they can't see anything.
9:53
Saber's mad at you. Ah, fuck. I'll
9:56
just cast message. It's fine, I'll cast message and
9:58
I'll be like, right. That eye,
10:00
it's not mine. What's the sabers eye?
10:02
No, you don't say Greg. Looks
10:05
so real. Oh, Whisper is a... Message?
10:07
Message. a whispered conversation at a distance,
10:09
sorry. Ah, so the sabers will hear
10:11
you. Could hear? I'll risk it. All
10:14
right. Sabers
10:16
are having to look at everything that I
10:18
do. Right, so best behave your voice. And
10:20
they're gonna help. Yeah. Periwinkle,
10:24
your practised bullshit detector
10:27
is going off. Oh,
10:30
so they're definitely gonna help us, Greg.
10:32
Well, that's... Look, that's what they said.
10:35
They said, for a promise, understand that as I
10:37
had my eye taken out, it was under duress.
10:40
Right? They said the words, we
10:43
will help you, Greg. I'm
10:47
not believing this, am I? Your
10:50
bullshit detector is like five alarm chili
10:52
calling out that something spicy is going
10:54
on. Greg. Yeah. Because we've known one
10:56
another for... I don't know. 24 hours
10:59
now, but yeah, I'm gonna give you
11:01
one more chance I'm gonna ask you
11:03
one question You do you just have
11:05
to give me a thumbs up or
11:08
thumbs down because you compromised, right? If
11:11
I'm not happy with the answer
11:13
that I get I may put
11:16
you in that barrel over there
11:18
Just throw you in the water
11:20
right boss. All right Did they
11:23
say they would help? Us
11:25
with our attack they did say that
11:27
they would help but they didn't guarantee
11:30
it because it's gonna take them a
11:32
while to get their resources together So
11:34
instead of doing a thumbs up or
11:36
thumbs down I give like that wavy
11:38
hand It's just wonderfully unclear All right,
11:40
I'm not gonna put you in a
11:42
barrel right now. Maybe
11:45
Harry Winkle. We
11:47
have just a quick sidebar Sure.
11:49
I'm gonna chat to the cops. Don't
11:52
arrest him. You have very
11:55
little to talk about. A
11:58
lot of them don't like you.
12:00
All of them. Goggles his brother
12:02
and his wife and his mother.
12:05
Same day. Same
12:08
four hour period. He slept with every
12:10
day of the week. Including
12:14
Thursday? Twice. Alright,
12:17
what do you want? Right. So we're
12:19
gonna get this weapon. Look, I'm
12:21
sure that Greg Piss... I know that you'd have
12:23
no to... He's definitely going to betray us at
12:25
some point in the I like to imagine you're
12:27
like, we look Greg Piss, you're like, look, I'm
12:30
just like eating a pickled egg in front of
12:32
one of the guys, be like... How many could
12:34
you put there? How
12:36
many could you put away? So, look, I know
12:38
you have doubts to where I would lie. I
12:41
promise you right now that I won't try
12:43
to... Backstab you, betray you, grab the weapon
12:45
and run. If you agree before you do
12:47
anything with your weapon to at least meet
12:50
with Papa Littleo and see what he says.
12:52
And if I don't like what he says,
12:54
I can walk away. I will try and
12:56
see if you're on it, Vatican. And I
12:58
promise that I will make sure that Greg
13:01
Piss doesn't fuck us up. At
13:03
least I'll try and stop him. was gonna say, can
13:05
you actually promise us that he is a slippery one?
13:07
He is a slippery little piss. You
13:12
finished the jar of dick face! For...
13:19
Alright, I'm open to that. Whatever little
13:21
low wants, that's a conversation with Papa
13:23
Little. As long as I've done my
13:25
job in his eyes, I don't really
13:28
care what happens. He's happy
13:30
for it to be potentially destroyed. Yes. I'm
13:32
over to a conversation if you promise you don't fuck
13:34
me over. And do your very best
13:36
to stop him from... Yeah, that's gonna be a... That's
13:41
gonna be hard. All right. You're
13:43
all right, mate. Thanks, Jakey. Colin
13:46
sucks you in the gut. I'm
13:50
farming up a lot of egg that I was just keeping
13:52
in my cheeks. Wow,
13:56
broke the fun, Colin, didn't
13:58
you? Eight eggs in a
14:00
crumb. Yes. We're good to go, team. Yep,
14:03
we've got the boat, dwarves are going to
14:05
provide some cover and the sabers are going
14:07
to attack the front gates. Yeah,
14:09
right, yeah. Maybe.
14:13
The town militia will hopefully also provide you guys
14:15
some distraction, basically attacking from all fronts. Now here's
14:17
the options. Do you have a moment to help
14:19
us break in or do you a moment to
14:21
go just smash some shit? I think maybe half
14:23
and half split the team. How
14:25
many are a couple days away from
14:28
retirement? Two,
14:30
both the Thursdays. They're
14:35
coming with me on the actual real hard mission,
14:37
right? Because they'll be safe. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta
14:39
look after them. Yeah. That's how it goes down.
14:41
He's bought a boat called the Freedom. He's
14:46
expecting his third grandchild this week. That's
14:49
Thursday tea, not Thursday art. Well,
14:52
we have a map. You got two
14:54
maps. A map of the inner area.
14:56
Oh, yeah. And a map of the...
14:58
The castle, yeah. just hand drawn from
15:00
the commander himself of the inside of
15:02
the castle, where you might want to
15:04
go that vault down downstairs. There's no
15:06
map of the vault, just where it
15:08
is. All right, we're doing
15:10
this. You
15:12
all assemble out on the beach. It's
15:15
a cold night. The only sound right now
15:17
you can hear is the waves gently lapping
15:20
against the shore. And in
15:22
the distance, maybe you imagine you can
15:24
hear the gentle creaking of the dwarven
15:26
fleet. Suddenly, the
15:29
Dark Knight is pierced by
15:32
several bright fiery lights as
15:34
massive firepots launched from catapults
15:37
on the dwarven ships suddenly
15:39
streak from the sea up
15:42
against the walls of the
15:44
city. They explode in
15:47
massive fiery balls of destruction,
15:49
caving away large parts of
15:51
the wall. Then on the
15:53
other side of the city,
15:55
far away from you, You
15:57
can hear the distant rumblings
15:59
of people screaming and possibly
16:01
combat. It's gonna be good.
16:04
Time to scarf our lads. Let's
16:06
go boys. After a solid,
16:08
maybe 15 minutes of shelling, a part
16:10
of the wall crumbles away enough that
16:12
you guys could, if you want, attempt
16:15
to scale it. It's only a short
16:17
climb. We've got that harpoon
16:19
in the rope. Harpoon
16:22
gun that fires a grappling hook. With
16:24
a solid clinking sound, the
16:27
grappling hook connects with the top part of
16:29
this caved -in wall, and you can feel
16:32
the rope go taut when you pull it.
16:34
Who's gonna climb first? After you, lads. I'll
16:37
nimbly climb up. So my theory is
16:39
I'll send you go first. I'll send
16:41
two militia behind you. I'll go. No,
16:44
Greg, you're going in front of me. Then
16:47
I'm going. Then I'm sending
16:49
the rest of the militia. All right, all
16:51
right. Leo, you're on the wall or over
16:53
the wall, I should say. Cool. There's like
16:55
a little courtyard there. Do
16:57
your right hand side or a bunch of buildings? One
16:59
of them is a big blacksmithy, a bunch of them
17:01
are storage places, some stables as
17:03
well. To your right looms the large fort.
17:06
Cool. Any horses in the stables? It's gonna
17:08
scalpel? Nah, it's gonna have a distraction. Ah,
17:10
clever. Set up to open the... like the
17:12
stables. You see no horses on the stables?
17:15
Anything around us, by the way. Like, is
17:17
there like just like no people. One dickhead
17:19
being like, just staring at us, being like...
17:21
What? There are no guards on the wall.
17:24
No, there were no guards on this section of the wall.
17:26
Oh, that's why they're on the other sections where we're running
17:29
in distraction. They're barely able to keep the walls man. There's
17:31
not a lot of people in here. If
17:33
you, like, scan around the fort
17:35
looking for any entrances, they all
17:37
seem boarded shut or closed or
17:40
locked. There's no easy entrance here.
17:43
Head towards the fort unseen, I guess,
17:45
or try to make myself unseen as
17:47
possible. Start your way forward. Yeah. And
17:50
try to inspect some of the... Did you tell
17:52
us the map where there might have been an
17:54
entrance for the keep? Was there
17:57
a particular entrance we were meant to be taking?
17:59
You found, though, particularly... Good entrances. You figured that
18:01
once you were there, you might just scan the
18:04
place and look for an obvious way in. But
18:06
there doesn't seem to be any obvious places from
18:08
where you are. You'd have to do like a
18:10
lap or just... Try and unlock the door. Lockpick
18:12
that shit. Is there one? How they bought it
18:15
up? I've been unlocking spell if you want it
18:17
to, by the way. Maybe we'll save it for
18:19
the falls. The level
18:21
-level windows have just been bricked
18:23
up with shittily, but with mortar
18:25
and brick. So it doesn't look
18:27
like they're easy entrances. the doors
18:30
all just look like they're barred
18:32
shut the large massive gate that's
18:34
the entry the main entry way
18:36
in has the um port colors
18:38
the uh crusty metal bit yeah
18:40
and uh the massive wooden doors
18:42
beyond it also look barred any
18:44
upper level windows look like they
18:46
might just be shuttered closed so
18:49
very easy to break open but
18:51
it's climbing up there as well
18:53
all right next is greg pierce
18:55
is it two of my guys
18:57
and greg pierce You
18:59
asked your two guys first. Yeah,
19:02
both of the Thursdays. I think
19:04
you said you know the Thursday's
19:06
catch so hang on half of
19:08
them went and did distraction So
19:11
Colin goggles Monday and Tuesday Wednesday
19:13
went to distractions the two Thursdays
19:15
Saturday Sunday and Ian a I
19:17
am came with us that house
19:19
wait hang on so Saturday Saturday
19:22
Saturday Sunday Ian yeah Collins in
19:24
the BT Thursday Thursday get over
19:26
the wall Uh, Greg
19:28
Pierce is over with some difficulty. And
19:30
I'm right behind him. All right, gotta
19:33
be on my trial. Pierce, you
19:35
fall in a month or two Thursdays.
19:37
Leo isn't anywhere to be seen. Maybe
19:39
he's sculpted off or something like that.
19:41
The both, both the Thursdays are just
19:43
lying for, uh, lying in wait for
19:45
presumably Leo to get back. Right here.
19:48
I'll look around, see if I see any
19:50
sneaky entrances, any way into the fort, from
19:53
where I am, any drain pipes, like up
19:55
to the... just, that's how I get down
19:57
after sleeping with a man's wife. There wouldn't
19:59
be drainage pipes on a couch. Oh,
20:02
right, yeah, not fair. That's
20:04
just oh. They don't have plumbing. Getting
20:06
down from a window, easy. With your
20:08
half -orque strength, you easily
20:11
scale the wall. Damn straight, I
20:13
do. You're with Pierce on the
20:15
two Thursdays, and then... Saturday, Sunday,
20:18
and Ian. Saturday, Sunday. Yeah,
20:20
they're all with you. Right. I'm just saying,
20:23
you can just decide what they do from
20:25
here, because I can't be bothered trying to
20:27
be six people. That's
20:29
fair enough. By
20:31
the time that Saturday finally
20:34
manages to scramble over the
20:36
wall, Leo, you return, having
20:38
done a quick circumvent... circumference
20:41
around the castle. So
20:43
if I broke through the window of the mortar stuff, would
20:45
that be able to... are we then inside? How
20:47
many layers of... The main gate has the
20:50
port colors and the two wooden doors. There's
20:52
a small servants entrance around the back that's
20:54
a thick heavy looking wooden door. You think
20:56
that might be the easiest way in if
20:58
you wanted to break in ground floor. So
21:00
you want to go in the ground floor
21:02
and then then that way we make sure
21:04
that there's nothing below us to chase us.
21:06
Yeah, let's go to the service and sneak
21:09
it up the back. Yeah. Right. That was
21:11
good. So Ian peels off and he's just
21:13
going to like skulk around the outside and
21:15
give you guys a heads up if he
21:17
sees anyone coming. Kill. Do I need to
21:19
use my acid flask to break through the
21:21
servant's entrance? You can just try picking the
21:23
lock. I'll try picking the lock. Yeah.
21:26
I could throw a great quiz at the door. Hey! I'm
21:29
very squishy. It's not going to do
21:31
you any good. You waste 15 minutes
21:33
getting nothing done. Oh man. Then
21:35
you're just like, oh, it was just dark.
21:39
Another one of the firepots rockets overhead
21:41
to strike somewhere else in this little
21:43
section of the city. And you're like,
21:45
oh, I was like, maybe instead of
21:47
getting into the keyhole, you were like
21:49
trying to jam them in the side
21:52
of the door. Just the
21:54
handle. Just the holes around
21:56
the handle. You
21:58
get the door open. The corridor beyond
22:00
you is very dark. What?
22:02
All right. I've got dark vision,
22:04
I think. You switch to dark vision. Everything
22:06
turns into black and white, but you can
22:09
see perfectly in darkness. Anything
22:11
I should be worried about? No, it's
22:13
not a corridor. It is, in fact,
22:15
a kitchen. or a rear, like, well,
22:17
probably the storage area for the kitchens.
22:20
A, what do you call it, a ladder? When they
22:22
turn in the cook's entrance. Yeah, anyway. We're in the
22:24
downstairs, or the upstairs downstairs. Yeah. Yeah,
22:26
they have a, there's no, well, there's no
22:28
food here right now. It looks like they've
22:30
been burning through their supplies. Maybe
22:33
you know where the horses went. Ah,
22:36
delish. Oh, I see. Horse meat
22:38
is good. No one's been coming in or going
22:40
out. Anything
22:42
useful this kitchen that we could, like, tag with
22:44
us to assist. Hmm. Do you want kitchen knives?
22:47
No. No. Well, other than that. They're good
22:49
at punching. Yeah, it's fine. Other than that,
22:52
you don't, there's not a lot. No. Leo,
22:54
you check all the different doors. One
22:57
door forward leads into the, the kitchens and
22:59
beyond the kitchens, you can see through an
23:01
open doorway, a great hall where feasts are
23:03
had. You check another door. It leads to
23:05
a corridor with a lot of different doors
23:07
and another door. So three doors in total
23:10
leads to a staircase going up. Right. Does
23:12
any of this look familiar from the map
23:14
that we have? So there are a couple
23:16
different ways you can approach this. You can
23:18
go through the Great Hall into the main
23:20
entryway, and in the main entryway there are
23:22
stairs going down into the dungeons. But if
23:24
anywhere is going to be busy, it's going
23:26
be there. Yeah. But it's the most direct
23:29
route. Alternatively, you can go
23:31
to the stairs, take the stairs up, go
23:33
through an upper landing, go down. Yeah. Yeah.
23:35
It's a longer route, but you're less likely
23:37
to bump into someone. I'm
23:40
always the capable. I vote for safety. Oh,
23:42
up we go. Yeah. The
23:44
distant sounds of combat begin
23:46
to start swelling. It looks
23:49
like the fighting's getting more
23:51
intense until you hear an
23:53
awful, tremendous roar. The
23:56
roar shakes the entire castle. That'd be
23:58
the dragon. And for a brief moment...
24:00
The dragon's not here. For a brief
24:02
moment, the sounds of combat stop, but
24:05
then immediately resume. That's good. That's good.
24:07
That's fine. It's not our problem. what
24:09
we wanted. Dragon's not here. here. Column,
24:11
Godspeed. So, what's marching order
24:14
here? Who's first, second, third? I'll be
24:16
first. He's in the middle, and I'm
24:18
close to him. Alright. And then I
24:20
trust Leo, I do not trust great
24:22
kids. A shadow lands behind Leo. Before
24:24
you're able to do anything, you
24:27
feel a blade at your back.
24:29
Ah, shit. Combat begins. Ah, shit.
24:31
We're fighting a shadow. You've
24:34
become ventilated. What does that even mean?
24:36
Full of holes! Oh
24:38
gee! Airholes! Make it
24:40
quicker! He punctures your lungs, I
24:43
guess. You have to do
24:45
the rest of the episode like that. Then...
24:49
Who was up the bar? Periwinkle? Were
24:51
you up the back? No, I'm in
24:53
the middle with him. It's Saturday and
24:55
Sunday. That's unfortunate for them. Don't be
24:58
killing my voice, Adam. You hear an
25:00
awful gurgling sound from behind you. Oh,
25:02
no. And you hear Sunday cry out
25:04
in terror, turning around,
25:06
Periwinkle. Yeah. You see Saturday jerking
25:09
uncontrollably as a shadow with wicked
25:11
claws that look like daggers start
25:13
slashing out his throat from behind.
25:16
Saturday, oh wait, yeah, wait, which
25:19
one was calling out in agony
25:21
Saturday Saturday Saturday, so it was
25:24
Sunday who's being slashed because he
25:26
can't call out at all Sunday
25:28
collapses. Oh, no Oh Shit heel
25:31
Sunday, can you punch a shadow?
25:34
You're shocked. You've never seen
25:36
such awful wicked magic before
25:38
Unfortunately, you're frozen in place.
25:40
You'll be going last in
25:43
the initiative turn Leo Your
25:45
quick thinking springs into action. Do
25:48
I know what the hell this
25:50
is? You have heard of dark
25:52
magics that can make a shadow
25:55
sentient. It's possible that
25:57
that's what this is. The
25:59
shadow creature is forever linked to
26:01
whatever it's a shadow of. The
26:04
person who loses their shadow just
26:06
gets fucked. No one
26:08
willingly gives up their shadow. Man.
26:11
So it's not Aiden's shadow. It's
26:13
clearly possibly like a prisoner. Yeah
26:15
has quotation marks donated their shadow.
26:17
Do they look like forces? No,
26:21
they look vaguely like people. So
26:23
I know that this all if I kill the show, we
26:25
hurt the shadow. you kill the shadow, you're going to kill
26:28
the person as well. Oh, I don't
26:30
know that information. Do I? No, you don't. Good. Even
26:35
if I did. I'm
26:40
just kind of be like I'm
26:42
so sorry and then China stab
26:44
with the thundering and then not
26:46
using the benefit I'm so sorry
26:48
Sometimes you got to do what
26:50
you got to do man I'm
26:52
gonna look at you. I've got
26:54
my back to you. I'm just
26:56
looking horrified at my dead friend
26:58
and my dying other friend who's
27:00
No, he's alive. He's just freaking
27:02
out. The Weekend Brothers. The Weekend
27:04
Brothers won. They're such bloody animals.
27:07
They are. They live on the
27:09
weekend. Learning your lesson
27:11
very quickly, you jump
27:13
backwards and you don't hit with
27:15
your first blade. Your first blade,
27:17
you kind of just use more
27:20
as like a guard against future
27:22
attacks. Nice. Your other blade with
27:24
a flick and a sneak, you
27:26
get deep into the creature's belly.
27:29
You hear it cry out in
27:31
agony. Oh man, I'm so sorry.
27:34
The shadow disperses as your blade slashes
27:36
through it. Somewhere deep in the castle,
27:38
you hear a moan. Damn. Got him.
27:41
Can I cast Last of Confusion on
27:43
it? How many are there? There's two.
27:45
Well, one now. I'll cast it on
27:47
the one that's alive. The
27:50
creature staggers in place on
27:52
its turn. The
27:55
creature crashes onto Saturday, making
27:57
him topple over and fall
27:59
onto the ground. On Saturday,
28:01
it just starts tearing, ripping
28:03
and tearing. Saturday screams
28:05
and then stops. At
28:07
least the two Thursdays will get out of this and be able
28:09
to retire on their boat called Freedom and Happiness. No,
28:13
the two Thursdays charge in. One
28:16
of the Thursdays is too dismayed
28:19
to get a proper hit. He
28:21
swings, but his attacks are like
28:23
full of fear, not Anger or
28:26
calculation Thursday are he does however
28:28
have calculation to his blows He
28:30
kicks at the shadow creature knocking
28:33
it backwards onto its back and
28:35
then stabs downwards once he is
28:38
blow connects But he does not
28:40
kill the creature You
28:44
know that feeling when a girl
28:46
who gets it gives you a
28:48
genuine compliment? Suddenly, you're strutting through
28:50
the streets, sending motivational voice notes
28:52
to the group chat, manifesting a
28:55
new man. That's the Tressame Lameller
28:57
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28:59
kind of confidence reserved only for
29:01
the real girls' girls. And now,
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we've bottled it. We're talking shampoo,
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conditioner, leave -in cream, shine spray,
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and a finishing oil that's seriously
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too glossy to gatekeep. 72 hours
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site for details. You
30:39
killed my other friend. Can
30:42
I rip a shadow's head off with
30:44
my hands? You can certainly try, my
30:46
good friend. I roar real loud. Just
30:49
go for its head and try to pull
30:51
it off with my big meaty, meaty, meaty
30:53
hands. Big,
30:55
beady, meaty, or... It slashes out at you
30:57
as you try to grab it, dealing five
30:59
points of damage. But you
31:02
grab it. You pull upwards. twist
31:04
you hear a cracking sound from the
31:06
shadow awful cracking sound echoing somewhere from
31:09
below you guys and then when you
31:11
tear it off you hear another moan
31:13
from deep within the castle ah done
31:15
I win who's thinking that right it
31:17
might be worthwhile a time go downstairs,
31:19
find where that moaning is coming from,
31:21
kill the others. Just so that their
31:23
shadows don't get us again. It's easier
31:26
to kill a guy who's tied up
31:28
and had his shadow talk than a
31:30
shadow. These are people. is all I'm
31:32
thinking. These are people. They don't need,
31:34
they don't, they take no one. Are
31:36
they dead because I pulled that guy's
31:38
head off? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's
31:41
good. No, no, they don't know. Killed
31:43
my friend. Someone's taken this
31:45
against their will and made them
31:47
do so. Killed my friend. Sunday
31:50
is dead. Saturday. but
31:52
you saturday is on tender hooks i
31:54
can give him a cure cure light
31:56
i respect you a little bit more
31:58
yeah right well i want to kill
32:00
the fellas downstairs and listen to me
32:02
not it bleeding out leo over here
32:04
oh if i remind you in the
32:06
second or first adventure we had was
32:08
like let's kill this wizard and take
32:10
all of his potions or whatever but
32:12
wolverine you don't know all of saturday's
32:14
runes heal over as greg piss puts
32:16
a hand on him Clarex
32:19
mutter a prayer, Bard sometimes sing
32:21
a song. Greg Pierce, I
32:23
imagine, just says, all right, get up there. Right.
32:27
Like a little cod does a slap on the chin.
32:30
Saturday briefly embraces Sunday's lifeless
32:32
body. We'll get them. So
32:35
we're on the top floor. You're on
32:38
the second floor, the first floor, depending if you're
32:40
in the UK or the US. We've gone up
32:42
to the next floor to Skirt Above, where we
32:44
feel the busy opinion. Can we continue
32:46
on, molested? Excuse me? Can
32:49
we continue? Oh yeah, you can, absolutely.
32:52
As you move through, these windows, the
32:54
windows on this upper level, are not
32:56
all bricked up. So you can kind
32:58
of see sometimes out through cracks or
33:00
like out through a window, the
33:02
night sky lit up by a fire pod
33:05
being held by the dwarven plate. Every
33:07
now and then as well, you hear another
33:09
roar, tremendous always, and it always scares you
33:11
to your core. Can we see dragging out
33:14
the window? No, you never see it. Every
33:16
now and then. He's coming from outside though.
33:18
It's outside, yeah, yeah. You get to the
33:20
staircase going down. You start slowly making your
33:22
way down. Oh, doesn't he even have a
33:24
light? I have a lantern. I
33:27
have a bullseye lantern. Do you have it
33:29
lit? We've sort of lost any kind of
33:31
stealth because the shadow people got us, so
33:33
like, yeah, not lantern out. Okay, cool. By
33:35
the light of the lantern, you see a
33:37
puddle of shadow moving along the roof of
33:39
the staircase towards you guys. Leo,
33:42
you go first. Oh, is it near me? It's
33:44
streaking towards you at a rapid pace. Kind of
33:47
up on the roof, so you could use a
33:49
ranged weapon if you have one. I'm gonna throw
33:51
in my dagger of venom. Alright, and activate its
33:53
power, or You
33:56
fumble for your dagger. Instead of your
33:58
dagger, you accidentally
34:00
grab your bedroll. And
34:04
throw your bedroll at the
34:06
creature. It misses. Take ticket.
34:10
Greg? I'll...
34:12
I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll...
34:14
I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll...
34:16
I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll...
34:18
I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll...
34:21
I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll...
34:23
I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll... I'll...
34:27
I'll... I'll themselves at you. That's
34:29
not great. No. Told you we
34:31
should have killed the ones downstairs,
34:33
right? Right, eh? What are we
34:36
doing? That's what we're heading to
34:38
do. Well, been quicker about it.
34:42
Greg, I will punch you. One
34:44
of them attacks Saturday? Again? Yep.
34:46
He's behind me. Yeah, it like
34:48
launches over all of your heads
34:50
and strikes at Saturday. Saturday,
34:53
however, brings his greatsword up and
34:56
deflects its blows. It's slowly
34:58
fighting him back up the stairs
35:00
though. Another one attacks Leo. It's
35:03
awful wicked slashes at you,
35:05
unable to penetrate your defense. After
35:08
you threw the bedroll, you quickly fumble for your
35:10
real daggers and now you're fending it off with
35:12
the daggers. Not gonna able to sleep though. Yeah.
35:15
like a fucked up lock picking up through a bedroll.
35:18
These guys think I'm an idiot. You got a lantern
35:20
in one hand Leo. You can drop the lantern and
35:22
potentially it breaks. Or you could fight
35:24
with just one dagger. Okay. What do you want
35:26
to do? Throw the lantern
35:28
to one of the Thursdays. Yeah. Actually I'll
35:30
probably just drop the lantern. Drop the lantern?
35:32
How's the lows? Lowes. I hope it breaks
35:34
and things catch fire, because that'll make it
35:37
things exciting. Yes. The stone
35:39
floorwork. You're standing at an
35:41
angle odd enough that when you let go
35:43
of the land, it doesn't really fall. It
35:45
was kind of already resting on the step
35:47
below you. You are small, so it makes
35:50
sense. There's not much of a drop. And
35:53
one of them attacks Perimenko. Oh,
35:57
no. Oh, you just raised your eyebrows.
35:59
Oh, no. Oh, no. You got credit.
36:02
It leaps forward. Without really thinking
36:04
about it, you engage your B Gauntlets
36:06
and just like, NAH! Push them
36:08
out in front of you. It launches
36:11
itself onto your B Gauntlets. Sucked
36:14
in, bitch. It was a look of disappointment
36:16
from Adam. He'd be like, fuck, I didn't
36:18
tell him. to tell. Yeah, it's
36:20
hard. It's hard to to tell. Then it is
36:22
Periwinkle's turn. There's one of them
36:24
right in front of you. You can see
36:27
shadow leaking out of its chest from the
36:29
wounds. Basically, it's like through my fists, right?
36:31
It's kind of like on the end of
36:33
your gauntlets, yeah. I'm assuming I cross them
36:36
over in a defensive pose, because now what
36:38
I want to do is uncross them violently
36:40
and ripping apart through the middle. Sure thing.
36:43
That's bad. Tear him
36:45
asunder, as they say. Yeah,
36:47
you tear it apart. It
36:50
dissipates into the various little wisps that
36:52
make it a... Do we hear another
36:54
moan? Uh, yeah, from deep below you
36:56
hear, like a death rattle. Less death
36:58
rattle and more, like flying rattle. If
37:01
you pleasure one of the shadows, does
37:03
it pleasure the person downstairs? We can
37:05
find out. And
37:07
you are a lover, not a fighter.
37:09
I am a lover, not a fighter.
37:11
Saturday kicks the shadow that he is
37:13
fighting into your back, periwinkle. The
37:16
creature staggers, you stagger a little
37:18
bit as well, and then Saturday
37:20
yells, duck! I duck. He slashes
37:22
high, cutting the creature in half.
37:25
It dissipates into wisps. We high five. Leo,
37:27
it's your turn. You're face to face with
37:29
one. I'll just stab you. I'm like, again,
37:31
just stab with both. I'm
37:33
sorry. I've
37:35
been ripping things apart. I've never killed
37:37
an innocent man, I lie. Very
37:41
begrudgingly, Leo, with like a heavy
37:43
heart, you kick
37:46
out one of
37:48
its legs so
37:51
it falls down.
37:54
Kick its arm
37:56
so it hits
37:59
the wall. Pin
38:02
that arm to
38:05
the wall, and
38:07
then with your
38:10
other dagger, nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
38:17
As you're charging the money, Leo
38:20
casually grabs his bedrock. Just
38:22
to distract him, yeah. At
38:24
the bottom, you know that there's going
38:26
to be a corridor with cells on
38:28
either side of you. The cells would
38:31
be filled with basically like political prisoners.
38:34
People that Damien Eaton himself personally
38:36
hated and wanted to imprison. How
38:38
good are these people? What's how
38:41
good? How emaciated are they? Oh,
38:43
wouldn't you like, would it be more of
38:45
a distraction if we let them all go?
38:48
I see what you're saying. You get to the
38:50
bottom and as you're moving through the cells, you
38:52
can see people hunched up. All of them are
38:55
chained up to the walls. You
38:57
know, your classic like dungeon sort of chains
38:59
to the walls with their arms. They
39:01
all look just awful and
39:03
sickly. They look like they've
39:05
been slowly starving for quite
39:07
some time now. There's this
39:10
awful stench, not just of
39:12
like unwashed people, but people
39:14
that like they're basically dead
39:16
wasting away yeah like gangrene
39:18
there's maybe 60 people here
39:20
in total as you shine
39:22
your bullseye lantern over them
39:24
you curiously note that none
39:26
of them cast shadows So
39:28
it's doing them a service, really? They're not in
39:30
a good way? Are any of them dead? A
39:33
couple of them are dead, yes. One of them
39:35
is one of them in half and one of
39:37
them missing a head. Yeah, you see injuries identical
39:39
to those that you inflicted on the shadows. A
39:41
bunch of them are dead, like, just in other
39:44
ways. Like, card separations, attacks. You
39:46
think maybe the shadows are fighting in
39:48
the fight going on upstairs? Yeah. And
39:50
some of them maybe appear dead at
39:52
first, but when you get close to
39:54
them... they make tiny sails. They do
39:56
that guy in seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:58
It's basically like a room of that
40:00
guy in seven. Yeah, yeah. Well,
40:02
so really, letting them out is going to be
40:04
time consuming and they're not going to be able
40:06
to help us in any way, shape or form.
40:08
But they might cause a nuisance for Eden. But
40:10
they are innocent. All of these
40:12
people look like if you unchained to them,
40:14
they would just fall to the floor. If
40:16
we kill them, will the shadows die? Yes,
40:18
so anything that happens to one happens to
40:20
the other. But if we kill Eden, we
40:22
maybe save these people that the shadows don't.
40:24
think you can reattach a shadow, Leo. Shadow.
40:27
You both know a cleric of suitable power might be
40:29
able to help them. I think that's very wrong, Greg.
40:31
They're not dead. Where are we finding a cleric of
40:34
suitable power at this hour? Losing your shadow weakens you,
40:36
but it doesn't kill you. These people are weak because
40:38
they've been kept down. Yeah, they've been tortured in all
40:40
sorts of places. just gonna start un -picking a lot.
40:43
I know there's lots of cells. There's lots of cells.
40:46
I'm gonna go through that door. You guys do what
40:48
you need to do. Alright, I'm gonna leave and open
40:50
the door. Can I borrow? You kind of need him
40:52
to get on unless you have a ranged weapon that
40:54
you don't worry about. Did the guards have a ranged
40:57
weapon? Like his mates? Some
40:59
of them would have had like crossbows stuff.
41:01
I've got bees. I thought you were a
41:03
good person, Periwinkle. No, no, no, no, no,
41:05
no, no. Don't you remember? Do
41:08
bad things for good reasons. You'll have to
41:10
pick the lock while they start killing. That's
41:12
funny. I'll borrow a crossbow from one of
41:14
the... You know what? They've got it. Am
41:18
I men okay with killing these people? I feel
41:20
like they would be if they had the same
41:22
values that I have. Yeah, the two Thursdays start
41:24
killing. Saturday seems to have lost his heart for
41:27
it and hands his crossbow over to Pierce instead.
41:29
I'll forget. Go
41:32
over there with Bleeding Art Leo, would ya? I
41:34
want to use one of my small B canisters.
41:36
You throw it and you kill, like, of
41:39
the 60 people, you kill maybe 10. I've got four
41:41
of those cannons and so I used two of them.
41:43
Alright, you killed 20. Pretty a great deal in the
41:45
right thing. you half an hour to pick the lock,
41:47
Leo. By the time you're done, they're done. The door's
41:50
open. Don't look at me like
41:52
that. I walk through
41:54
it. Can I just, before he goes, put
41:56
my hand on his shoulder and I just
41:58
go, Man in Glass Castle shouldn't throw stones.
42:02
And just keep going. You move
42:04
forward through further dungeons, none of
42:07
these inhabited. Some other miscellaneous places
42:09
as well. At some point, you're
42:11
passing through an armory or a
42:13
stock. Anything good? Just mundane
42:16
stuff for the guard within here. You guys
42:18
all have equipment better than this. So the
42:20
map we're looking at, are we close to
42:22
the vault? Yeah, you're getting quite
42:24
close. There's going to be a security checkpoint.
42:26
You're not sure who exactly is going to
42:28
be manning a security checkpoint. It's
42:30
just around a corner. Can we have a
42:32
sneak around? Because if I can all the
42:34
self look like eating might make it easier
42:36
for everyone. I'll have a sneak look. I
42:38
don't think you should be doing any scouting
42:41
because your eyes are compromised. Yeah, right. You
42:43
can. Leo, you duck around
42:45
the corner. You see a like a
42:47
barricade, not a hastily constructed one, but like
42:49
a properly made one, like several different layers
42:51
of protection, like places for crossbowmen to
42:53
sit and defend against people coming down this
42:55
corridor. The only thing you can see though
42:58
on the floor are shredded bits of
43:00
shadow. I'm massive So if we had to
43:02
kill those people, we would be facing
43:04
about 40 shadow men right now. It's hard
43:06
to tell how many are here, but the
43:09
mass looks big enough for like 10,
43:11
15. Yeah, but made a good move. Yeah,
43:13
we did, didn't we? That's all I'm saying.
43:15
Can I just cast Detect Magic? You
43:18
cast Detect Magic, the door,
43:20
the vault door itself radiates with
43:22
powerful magic, but nothing else here
43:24
does. Yeah, it's all clear. Do
43:26
we know what kind of magic
43:28
the door radiates with? As you
43:30
guys are walking closer, Leo, you're
43:32
able to identify evocation magic, so
43:34
the magic that governs lightning bolt
43:36
or fireball, basically a release of
43:38
energy magic. You're able to
43:41
detect a faint necromatic aura about it.
43:43
Can't kill us. An
43:45
abjuration aura. Abjuration alters the
43:47
nature of things. So
43:49
turn wood to stone, make something lighter than
43:51
it should be, that sort of stuff. And
43:54
yeah, that would be it. The three different types.
43:57
Whoa. Why don't I? Because presumably it's trapped. It's
43:59
only able to be passed by certain people with
44:01
the right code. If I make myself look like
44:03
Eaton. Sure. I'll alter
44:05
self to look like Eaton. It
44:07
lasts for 70 minutes. Sweet. While
44:10
he's doing that, I'm going to give you this
44:12
spell that I got given by someone I might
44:14
be handing. I'll alter self last. I was like,
44:16
I could try and disable it, but let's just
44:19
see his plan. Yeah, because then if Greg Pears
44:21
is dead, it's alright. I stand back. We get
44:23
back behind the corner of the corner. It's
44:26
like, yeah. Alter self. It's
44:28
me, Aten. Let me through. The Voltaurs
44:30
have two massive, um, like a handle
44:32
spinny bit and then six different combination
44:34
sets on it. I'm just gonna whisper.
44:37
Like, no, I'm gonna whisper. He's just
44:39
like, talk to Perrinco. He's dead. He's
44:41
dead. He's dead. dead. What would you
44:43
do? Oh, I just thought, I
44:45
didn't know there were combinations, but like what, I'll
44:47
just go up to it and touch it to
44:49
see if it responds to my touch. It feels
44:51
warm, faintly warm to the touch. So it's combination?
44:54
Yeah, there are six combination. numerical combination?
44:56
Yeah, a numerical one. Probably lit
44:59
a cigarette. Yeah, lit a cigarette,
45:01
having a sneaky one. Put my ear up to it, start
45:03
turning combination, try and hear it click. can't even smoke it,
45:05
Lito. I
45:07
like to turn to you guys, give you the finger,
45:09
keep going. You can pick locks, but you're not very
45:11
good at it. You can certainly attempt
45:13
it, but I'm going to tell you here
45:16
and now your character is very well aware
45:18
that it's probably beyond his ability. Do
45:21
we tell him that we have the spell
45:23
yet that opens the doors? Even I could
45:25
try and have a quickander at this,
45:27
because it's basically a lock. I could try
45:29
this, but I'm curious what happens. Me too.
45:33
Is there anything else other than the combinations? No,
45:35
nothing else. I'll just turn back. Right, it doesn't
45:37
work like I thought it does. Oh, you could
45:39
give the handles a go see if it opens.
45:43
Yeah, go on. Give the handles a
45:45
go. I'll
45:48
turn back to them and be like, have you tried
45:50
turning it off and on? No, well, we're all funny.
45:52
Come on. Get off
45:54
your arses. Finish cigarette out. Come on.
45:57
Have a look at the locks. Can
45:59
I unlock this? Well, the magical element
46:01
is a bit beyond you. You can
46:04
make out a faint line of like
46:06
magical text around just the edge of
46:08
the door. The magical text is some
46:10
sort of spell of protection. You
46:13
think potentially the spell might have some sort
46:15
of effect of like If you're trying to
46:17
open the door, and you do not own
46:19
what is beyond you, the door can tell
46:21
that. But you don't know what it does
46:23
when Like a Gringotts vault. Harry Potter. I'll
46:25
be like, well... The door knows if you
46:27
own what is beyond it, and you're not
46:29
sure, but you're not sure what it does
46:31
when it finds out. Alright. Does not... What
46:33
does Nock do, the spell? It,
46:36
Let's negate everything? Or just unlock it? It
46:38
just unlocks magical or mundane locks. It
46:40
won't get rid of any traps. Alright.
46:43
I'm gonna use the Nock and see
46:45
what happens. Does the magic change? We're
46:47
standing back again. Stand back, boys. You
46:50
read aloud the arcane spell, the
46:52
six different combinations, spin of their
46:54
own accord, and one after the
46:56
other you hear click, click, click,
46:59
click, click, click, and
47:01
a bolt sliding on the other side
47:03
of the door. Right. Still
47:06
magic, like... You can still detect magic,
47:08
yeah. So the trap door is still
47:10
activated. Yep. Cool. Right, doors are unlocked,
47:12
but... Ah, this too happens. Do I
47:14
think it'd be fooled by my altar
47:16
self? I assume I still look like
47:19
Eden. I haven't changed that. You
47:21
don't think altar self will
47:23
fool it? A use magic
47:25
device check, which both you
47:27
and Piss can attempt. Basically
47:29
what you're doing is you're
47:31
tricking a magical item into
47:33
thinking something. So easy ones
47:36
are like, you trick a magical item
47:38
into being like, hey, I'm a wizard,
47:40
or hey, I'm lawful good. More
47:42
complicated ones are like, hey, I'm
47:44
an orc, or hey, I'm Damien
47:46
Eaton. Well, I've got 13 in
47:48
Use Magical Device. What are you
47:51
rocking? It's a good question. I'll
47:53
crack my knuckles. It'll be like, yo,
47:55
yo, it's me, Damien Eaton. Don't even
47:57
think about it. You grab the left
48:00
or the right handle? Left.
48:02
Left? Use Magic Device. Let's see how
48:04
we do it. You grab it and
48:06
turn it. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,
48:08
tick, tick, tick, clock. Sweet.
48:11
Right, that's one done. The next
48:13
tea. All right. It's
48:15
me again, Damien Eaton. Everyone, it's me, Damien
48:18
Eaton. Don't think too much. In your exuberance,
48:20
you forget to say it's me, Damien Eaton.
48:22
It's like, it's me. It's me. You grab
48:24
the second one and when you grab it,
48:27
It feels impossibly cold to the touch. Fucked
48:29
up, fucked up, up. No, you don't let
48:31
go. You mind letting go, but you don't.
48:33
fucked up. Your hands become frozen. to
48:36
the door and ice starts to come
48:38
along or starts to chill up your
48:40
arms. Someone cracked my hands off this
48:42
right right hey ow ow ow. Alright
48:45
I go over I grab Greg Piss
48:47
round the waist and I pull until
48:49
his hands snap off. If I pull
48:51
him off in his handshatter you can
48:54
heal him right? No not at all
48:56
no one can. Who's the healer? He
48:58
is. I couldn't even heal this. Can
49:00
you round this past while you guys
49:03
having this conversation? I can't take another
49:05
point of damage. It's very difficult. All
49:07
right. Use my fingers away use magic
49:09
item. I try and Turn on your
49:12
damning. I'm damning. I'm damning him. I
49:14
mean, I'm so damn you grab turn
49:16
tick tick tick tick tick the clock
49:18
the effect on Greg piss immediately ends
49:21
and the door Slowly starts to swing
49:23
forward hot tip For those of you
49:25
playing at home, if you'd pulled at
49:27
him, I would have broken off both
49:29
his hands. I kind of
49:32
knew that you would have. I wouldn't have been
49:34
able imagine. I thought you'd hear it. No. Sorry,
49:36
I can't let you do that, Adam. Sick pleasure
49:38
in that as well. Oh, I know you would
49:40
have. The vault door opens to a very small,
49:43
simple room. It's maybe 15 feet
49:45
by 10 feet. The room is tiny compared
49:47
to the door that's guarding it. In
49:49
the room is a table, and on
49:51
the table are three bags. One of
49:54
them, you recognize as the bag that
49:56
you were originally after, that the orc
49:58
chieftain was holding aloft. The other two
50:00
bags look like they might also be
50:02
magic bags, but they're not ones that
50:04
you specifically are after. Right. The bags
50:06
all look similar. They do look kind
50:08
of similar, yeah. Don't you dare.
50:11
I was gonna be the tech magic again.
50:14
You detect magic? The room detects with no
50:16
magic. Neither does the door. I grabbed the
50:18
bag that we are recognized from the orcs.
50:20
You step into the room. And when you
50:22
step into the room, You feel like you've
50:24
walked through a waterfall. Some weird happened when
50:27
I walked in. Check it out. I
50:29
walk through. Same thing. You have a feeling
50:31
like you've walked through a waterfall. And both
50:33
of you actually, I should say, feel a
50:35
little different. Like, something's changed. Neither of you
50:37
look different. It just feels... It's this nagging
50:39
feeling that something's changed. I stay
50:41
out of the room. Alright. By the vault
50:44
door. Saturday steps through. I want one of
50:46
the Thursdays to stay with Greg Piss. Both
50:48
of the Thursdays stay with Greg Piss. They
50:50
give you sour looks, Piss. I can give
50:52
myself a look back. Saturday steps through and
50:54
he says, I feel fine. You feel fine.
50:56
I felt that weird water thing, but I
50:58
feel fine inside. Both
51:01
of you look normal, he says. I
51:03
don't feel normal. You don't feel normal.
51:06
Yeah. Don't you want to grab the one we know
51:08
and I'll grab the other two? Yeah, all right. You
51:10
wonder up to the table and consider the bags, but
51:12
you feel it would be wrong to steal. I
51:15
want to steal. Perhaps there's a better way
51:17
to do this. What do I feel? Same
51:19
thing. You feel like really bad. I love
51:21
stealing. You periwinkle. You look back on like
51:23
a bunch of things that you've done to
51:25
get here after like considering taking them and
51:27
you're like, oh man, I killed all those
51:29
people. Saturday. Try
51:31
to take the bag. Saturday
51:34
wanders off and he's like, well,
51:36
surely there's like... You know, another way to do this.
51:38
What's wrong? What's wrong? What's going on? Pick up a
51:40
bag. Can you pick up the table? Can I pick
51:43
up the table? Yeah, you can lift the table. Let's
51:45
move the table out of this fucking vault. You don't
51:47
even finish that sentence. You're like... Let's just put down.
51:49
The theft is wrong. What's wrong? What's a... Give me
51:51
no idea. That thieving is wrong, Greg. Never
51:54
in my life. Your idea helps you
51:56
steal. You don't say whatever you're thinking.
51:58
Adam, can I mage Hey,
52:01
Greg. Yeah? Before you mage
52:03
hand, can you try to come in the
52:05
room? I want to
52:07
see what... Happens to you when
52:09
you try to take this back
52:12
because I don't want to and
52:14
neither does Leo I don't want
52:16
to let me try this first
52:18
idiot Yeah, you lose the correct
52:21
bag and look right towards you
52:23
Right, I got the right bag
52:25
Close the vault door You do
52:28
realize the two Thursdays are out
52:30
with you. I'll fight them. That's
52:32
fine. I closed the vault
52:35
door We make a run for it.
52:37
Fuck. I knew it was coming.
52:41
I should have broken his fucking hands
52:43
and I had the chance. You should
52:45
have. He wouldn't be able to do
52:47
this. I trusted him in a bad
52:49
moment where I forgot that Jackson and
52:51
Greg Pierce aren't the same person. But
52:56
I wouldn't break Jackson's hands.
52:59
Alright, so Pierce, you put your hands around
53:01
the vault door and you begin to close
53:03
it. It's nearly shut and Leo, if you
53:06
want you could try to duck through but
53:08
if you fail you're gonna get crushed on
53:10
the door and I'm gonna let you know
53:12
you have five hit points left. Do
53:15
I know if he closed the door we're
53:17
dead? Like there's no exiting this. Now on
53:19
the other side of the door there's like
53:22
the mechanisms that control the door. Certainly if
53:24
it's just a mechanical issue you can unlock
53:26
it from the inside. I throw a dagger
53:28
through the closing door and get him? Can
53:30
I be him as the door's closing too?
53:32
If you be him, you'll be being your
53:35
friends as well. These are equal opportunity enemies.
53:37
Can I throw a dagger at him? Charged.
53:39
You heard that? The dagger
53:42
slips easily into your thigh,
53:44
Piss. I'm
53:47
gonna kill him.
53:50
I'm gonna straight up kill him. Piss,
53:52
you feel an awful pain shooting up
53:55
your leg and then everything goes black.
53:57
Oh god. Fucking dammit. You're on negative
53:59
one hit points. Oh my goodness! God.
54:01
God damn it! The two Thursdays like grab the
54:03
door before it closes and pull it back open.
54:06
Pull it back open fucking damn it. Right. Hang
54:08
on a second. First off, tie him up. Tie
54:10
up. I'm gonna use Mage Hand. Grab the other
54:12
two bags. One of the bags is too heavy
54:14
for Mage Hand. You can only get another one
54:17
of the bags. Alright, grab that. Do you want
54:19
one with a red buckle or with blue lining?
54:21
Red buckle. Red buckle? Okay. Red
54:23
buckle is a good name. It's
54:25
another of my dad. So,
54:28
you get the one with the red buckle, and you
54:30
get the one that you assume is the correct I
54:32
gonna kill you. Alright, so... Oh, does
54:34
anyone stabilize pierce or do you just leave him the
54:36
bleed out? I don't know how to
54:38
heal people, Leo. Do we want to just... You
54:40
know what? Between the Thursday, Thursday, and Saturday, they
54:43
stabilize him, and then if you guys want, you
54:45
can just kill him. Alright, first off, I want
54:47
to get that other... Like, I want to get
54:49
that other... The blue lining one? Blue lining one.
54:51
We can't steal it if we're in the room.
54:53
Something happens, it means we can't take stuff. Yeah.
54:55
That's not strong enough to do... the weird spell
54:58
thing you do. Yeah. Can I just like, can
55:00
I get like a grappling hook? Uh -huh. Some
55:02
rope. Pull it in to last of it. Like,
55:04
like, not like the bag, but the desk. The
55:06
table. And drag the desk towards me. Um, well,
55:08
you're probably not strong enough to drag it, but
55:10
with the, yeah, with the Winkle and such, you
55:13
can, uh, drag the table so that it's... Can we
55:15
tip the table at the door so that the bag
55:17
falls out of the door? The
55:19
table's probably a bit too heavy to
55:21
finangle it like that, because the vault
55:23
door like is... One of
55:25
you's gonna have to like reach in
55:28
and just kinda grab at it. Yeah,
55:30
we do that. Uh, he's got long
55:32
as reach. Probably periwinkle. Yeah, I'll go
55:34
first then. Uh, it's a bit too far
55:37
for you periwinkle. Without actually putting yourself into
55:39
the vault and then not being able to
55:41
steal. I've got an idea. Pick me up.
55:43
Yeah, can I hold Leo out? Then
55:46
you would just proper be in and stealing is wrong. Can
55:49
I just maybe use the grappling hook and kind of grab
55:51
the bag and push the bag forward? You know what I
55:53
mean? Like it's kind of a new hook just to be
55:55
like, I just don't want Damien eating to have this. Yeah,
55:57
no, me neither. Maybe it's
56:00
a dragon. You miss with your first throw of
56:02
the grappling hook and after you've thrown the grappling
56:04
hook just one time. I give it one more.
56:06
I give it one more try and if that
56:08
fucks up like fair enough, throw it in. On
56:10
the second go, you loop it loosely around one
56:12
of the bag straps and you're able to drag
56:15
it closer and then out. So you have all
56:17
three bags. There you go. I'm going to take
56:19
the bag that we came for. I'll put these
56:21
in my backpack. Alright, and I'll look after this
56:23
one. That's just a regular backpack, right? My backpack,
56:25
yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot if any of
56:27
you had like a... Nah. Putting a magic bag
56:30
in a magic bag is not good. No, no,
56:32
it's a regular backpack. That was explosions. Now,
56:36
peas. The only thing that
56:38
makes me really wary is this
56:40
is Greg Piss we're talking about,
56:42
and I'm worried that if we
56:45
just leave here with him, he
56:47
will find a way to just...
56:49
us. Part of me is like, lock him
56:51
in the vault and if he gets out of the vault, bully for him.
56:54
Well, how will he wake up? Will he wake
56:56
up? Because he's been stabilized. if
56:58
you leave him, he will wake up. It'll take like
57:01
a day. I wish those were long
57:03
gone. He's got 24 hours. Do
57:05
we hate him enough to kill him?
57:08
It's my question. Well...
57:15
Part of me wants to lock him in
57:18
the vault, but break his arms and legs
57:20
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57:22
that. Oh, yeah. How you going? I'll be
57:24
right. Like, you did betray us. No, like,
57:26
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57:29
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57:31
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57:33
he fucked us good. You want
57:35
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57:38
If we carry him with us, is it going to be really hard to get out of
57:40
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57:42
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57:45
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57:47
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57:49
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