0:00

Welcome to Deckheads, a production

0:02

of IR Radio. Welcome

0:05

to Deckheads with your hosts Nick

0:08

and Anna, broadcasting

0:10

from the bottom of the boat below

0:12

below deck. Whoa, I'm

0:15

horny, all ya talk

0:17

all the time. I'm having a

0:20

party. We're shoveling

0:22

cold to keep this show afloat. I

0:24

love cocaine. We're

0:27

off the map in international waters.

0:29

I need some drama. Me hide

0:32

that cocaine. Never in

0:35

my nose. Should see you

0:37

know. I'm in an open relationship

0:40

below deck me

0:46

Dickheads. Kay, Nick,

0:49

Hi Anna. My name is Nick, and I'm excited

0:52

to host today's episode of Dickheads.

0:56

Okay, well I'm Anna. I'm also

0:58

a host of the show. Hey, Hey,

1:00

that's incredible. Welcome to

1:02

the show. This week, we saw

1:04

some stuff that we thought was

1:07

happening last time not actually

1:09

be happening. Oh yeah, that's a great

1:11

way of describing that. Yes, we were talking below

1:13

Decks, Season eight, episode eight.

1:16

Wow. Now this episode is

1:19

anti climactic compared

1:21

to the last episode. O

1:24

honey. Nine has a lot of heavy

1:26

lifting to do to make up for this one. Yeah,

1:28

and you guys know, Nick is classically

1:32

pushing the seven eight nine theory. If

1:34

that's really when the show picks up and seven

1:36

was a banger, eight not

1:39

so much. Nine, We're

1:41

hoping nine really picks it up.

1:43

We sho. Okay, we didn't get one

1:46

single complaint about

1:48

anything from

1:50

the heaviest preference sheets we've ever

1:52

seen, the longest, the most

1:54

staples needed, they

1:56

haven't complained about anything. What's going

1:58

on? Why are they doing this? We'll get into it, but first,

2:02

also, did you notice one of them kind of looks

2:04

like Charlie? They all look

2:06

like Charlie. Let's be real. Damn, come

2:08

on that there is an aesthetic. There are

2:10

reaching four which is well, we'll get into it.

2:12

Let me bring the goddamn guest in. Dang

2:14

dog um,

2:17

what if I just forgot where I was? Uh, we

2:19

have a great guest today.

2:21

We have a banger of a guest

2:24

if you if you will, we have a seven, eight,

2:26

nine of a guest. Okay, that makes

2:28

no sense unless you've been listening to forty five episodes

2:30

of US recording. But it makes sense if

2:32

you listen to the last two minutes because you just

2:34

explained the theory. Yeah, sure, Nick, Please

2:37

don't interrupt me. I'm just joking. Please

2:39

interrupt me. Thank you for letting me know

2:42

each time that you are joking, I

2:44

would be lost. I'm just

2:46

joking. I think I'm just joking.

2:49

This guest you might know her.

2:51

Look, she has been all over the globe

2:53

and by that I mean the media

2:56

spear. Uh. She

2:58

was originally a Grantland. She had

3:00

a show with Emily

3:04

Oshida in which they wore hoodies.

3:07

So I'm gonna describe it in which the show

3:09

is called in which they wore hoodies, which

3:12

is not the title, but I think that's just too funny

3:14

for myself. Um, this

3:16

is, I gotta be honest, one of the worst intros

3:18

you ever. I'm getting to it. Recently,

3:21

she hosted a show with Emily Osida and Test Lynch

3:23

called Nightcall on the I Heart

3:25

Radio podcast network. And

3:28

she is going to do another podcast about

3:31

a certain madame whose last

3:33

name happens to be fish. And

3:35

now she's doing our podcast

3:38

and her name is Molly Lambert. Well,

3:40

I thought that was a great intro. Actually,

3:43

thank you can clean it up just a little sure.

3:45

Go ahead. Today on our show,

3:47

we have an incredible guest, former grant Land

3:49

writer Current Funk. I forgot

3:52

the day of your podcast. Give it to me again. Nightcall,

3:55

Nightcall. Okay,

3:57

Today on the podcast, we have an incredible

3:59

guest, former grant Land writer,

4:02

current host of Nightcall, and

4:04

actually I believe you have an upcoming

4:06

Heidi Fights podcast. I'm also getting a

4:09

strong no vibe from some of the stuff

4:11

I've said. Please welcome Molly Lambert. Wow,

4:13

guys, thank you so much. Great

4:16

intros all around. I

4:18

do have to hire Nick to uh

4:21

punch up my intros. You know. Okay,

4:23

Anna, let's do it. Let's do it two more times

4:25

and then we'll get and then you know, then the show

4:27

officially start.

4:29

Molly, I'm so sorry about who we are as

4:31

people. Thanks for doing the show, Thanks

4:34

for having me. I'm a big deckhead

4:36

so can't wait. So

4:40

we start every show by asking three

4:42

questions to our guests just to kind of get your

4:44

below Deck a sphere knowledge.

4:47

The first one is when did you start watching

4:50

Below Deck? Well,

4:52

my friend Kate Raft, who is

4:54

also a podcaster, check out the Hot

4:56

and Rich show on Twitch. She

5:00

got me into below Deck. She was just binge watching

5:02

it, and first she actually

5:05

got my boyfriend into it. He won't watch

5:07

the Housewives with me, but

5:10

for whatever reason, below Deck just captured

5:12

his fancy, and he watched it

5:14

all, and then I joined in, and

5:17

then there's just so much of it to

5:19

go through. We

5:21

watched it all. We caught up with all

5:23

of Below Deck. I think

5:25

Below Deck probably has saved a lot of relationships

5:28

where people are like, I'd like to break up, but

5:30

then I don't have anyone to finish below Deck with,

5:33

And then you're like, oh, there's a hundred and eighty seasons.

5:36

All right, let's get married. Yeah.

5:39

I think so we did the same

5:41

thing. We just you know, watched it record

5:43

an episode for every single one. Our friendship

5:45

came and went. Now it's back again because we don't

5:47

see each other every day. It was fun. We were good

5:49

friends back last winter. Anna,

5:53

Anna, Yeah, did

5:57

you hear the news? Know what's the news

6:00

about Below Deck? I heard that it's now the number

6:02

one rated show.

6:06

Yeah, somebody while you heard the news? Yeah,

6:08

oh that's the news you're referencing. Yeah,

6:11

why isn't that big enough news? No, that's

6:13

huge. But I also already thought the

6:15

one that the show we decided over

6:17

a year ago to do a podcast about

6:20

now is like even more mega popular. It

6:22

was a good choy, I know,

6:24

but I also thought I already was that, and

6:26

then when they posted that, I was like, wait, is it just

6:28

became that I thought this was the banger.

6:32

Well, here's my theory. It's got to be

6:34

rony, right that I had to have been

6:36

number one, But I mean that's the tent pole. Yeah,

6:39

here's my theory is that below Real

6:42

Housewives there's no actual

6:44

tentpole because that's not even the first one, and

6:46

everything just has a sees a city

6:48

name and you don't know which is like the

6:51

you know, Law and Order regular, whereas

6:53

below Deck there is a this is the show

6:55

and these are the spinoffs. Yeah. No, I mean blow

6:58

Duck is very relaxing

7:00

in a way that the Housewives are not. Like the Housewives

7:03

are about yelling at each other

7:05

a lot, and I know a lot of people

7:07

who can't handle the sort of shouty

7:11

vibe of the Housewives, but love

7:13

Below Deck. And also because

7:15

below Deck is about

7:18

like, not working class people, but

7:20

it's about people who are working

7:23

for the horrible rich people

7:25

instead of the horrible rich people themselves.

7:29

Yeah, I agree. I think there's also like

7:31

and also you're like, just it's just nice

7:34

views. It's just nice views.

7:36

You're like, it's it's like dream dream escapism

7:39

right now, when nobody can go anywhere to

7:42

watch a show where people are in like beautiful

7:46

ocean places eating

7:49

delicious food, it is pretty relaxing.

7:51

Like I also, I think Rony kind of fell off

7:54

because they got rid of Dorinda. I

7:56

don't know, like Tinsley left, Like everyone

7:58

who's like on the show is also leaving,

8:00

which I think is kind of like those shows. I'll need

8:02

a refresh too, I think, to

8:05

get with the times, because there's such two

8:07

thousand shows and there's

8:10

like a weird thing happening now across the

8:12

Bravo shows where they're trying to

8:14

deal with the reality of now. You

8:16

know, so every one

8:18

of the Housewives has had and

8:20

like Southern Charm, there's like a

8:22

COVID plot line and a black Lives

8:25

Matter plot line, and it's really interesting to

8:27

see how

8:29

that works out across the different franchises.

8:32

But Below Deck just takes place in this

8:34

world where like reality doesn't

8:36

intrude at all, although

8:38

although yeah, I mean it

8:41

did intrude last week when Rachel

8:43

found out about coronavirus and then immediately

8:45

quit and told the captain to fund himself.

8:48

Yeah, pretty

8:51

hard told him to eat

8:53

her coutter like five times.

8:55

Yeah, but

8:58

like I don't, Okay, novel. Actually,

9:00

here's my second question for you, which is what has

9:02

been your all time favorite season you've ever

9:04

watched. Oh,

9:07

I mean, I'm very partial to Hannah,

9:10

you know, so all

9:12

of the Hannah seasons. I have

9:15

to say, even though it was a controversial

9:17

season, the most recent

9:19

season was like some of

9:21

the most compelling television I've

9:24

ever seen. Although I obviously

9:26

think that Malia is

9:29

the devil naturally,

9:33

um, but I also think I

9:35

was excited for Hannah to like get out of

9:37

yachting and like and

9:39

look at her now, look at her. Now.

9:41

Did you guys watch The Flight Attendant on

9:44

HBO? Yes? I did. I haven't finished

9:46

it. I just thought the

9:48

thing that that sold me on that show is I

9:51

was like, Oh, she's a chief stew. She's

9:53

got a chief stew's personality,

9:56

because I just like, I

9:58

love the con upt of the chiefs

10:00

too, because they're all kind of the same type of

10:02

person. Everybody

10:04

on these boats is like escaping their real

10:07

life. Yeah, yeah, for sure, I

10:09

could see I could see Kate being the

10:11

flight the flight for sure.

10:14

Yeah, she goes home with Jesus

10:17

and uh and bangs and yeah

10:19

that's that. That rates yeah, or Hannah

10:22

just like any of the chiefs toos. I feel like they all

10:24

are this certain type of like

10:26

type a person, but who just also has

10:28

like huge commitment issues and can't

10:31

even commit to like living on land. Yeah,

10:33

yeah, like a little mess. My

10:36

main problem with the Fight Attendant. Do we talk about this last

10:38

week or say she doesn't act drunk? Well, yeah,

10:40

yeah, well that's not your problem with the flight time. That's

10:42

your problem with Kayley Quoco. Yes,

10:45

yes, that is that is accurate. I have problems

10:47

with the acting Kayley Quoco. I just like saying

10:49

her name. Yeah

10:51

she I wish her a lot of luck. I'm glad

10:54

she's working. I think

10:56

she's doing fine. After Big Bang It got

10:58

picked up for second season Flight

11:01

Attendant, did she

11:05

donates that money to something? The below

11:07

deck effect? They're

11:09

like, people can't get enough I can't get

11:11

enough of people, people can't get enough of kind

11:14

of equating these two shows, so they traveling

11:17

travel I will say, so HBO

11:20

max sends out those boxes where they're

11:22

like promoting their show, so like people

11:24

with large followings could promote

11:27

it, and my dear, dear soul sister

11:29

Arden Marine got one

11:32

for the flight attendant, and she

11:34

gave me the box because

11:36

she just gets so many of them that she's like, whatever,

11:38

just take a box, um, And this one was

11:40

just like filled with the little like alcohol

11:43

bottle containers. And and then

11:45

that was before I even saw the show. So after our watching

11:47

the show, like this show is about a full blown alcoholic,

11:50

why are you sending out alcohol? Like

11:52

I don't, I don't, I don't get it.

11:54

It's like, yeah, we get it, Like all she does

11:56

is drink. So here's the promo, but it's like

11:59

it's kind of a dark thing

12:01

in the end, like how she abuses the alcohol.

12:03

So it seems like not a great idea to send out

12:05

alcohol because this is really mixed

12:07

with the message of the show. I

12:09

don't know. They should have just sent out

12:11

tiny peanuts, yeah exactly,

12:14

or just like

12:17

a nice don't you a code

12:19

to watch it at your house because

12:21

you've already seen it any way, or just give

12:23

you a free subscription to HBO

12:25

Max for a month. Just send

12:28

that out to everybody, because that

12:30

wouldn't create no waste and

12:32

she's not gonna get a fucking

12:35

Emmy lamp

12:37

it down. You're wasting your money,

12:40

all right, Nick, you do not for

12:43

this. I walk even a nomination

12:47

business. You walk off Deckheads forever.

12:50

Yes, I will leave Deckheads.

12:53

So that's so uh like

12:55

the chef of you. Yeah, maybe

12:58

back the next week to like bringing

13:01

it back to the plot or the chef

13:03

of the show. Okay, final question? Who has been your

13:05

all time favorite character

13:07

on Below deck a Sphere? God,

13:10

I mean my real you know, I love Hannah.

13:12

I just think she's like a complex, fascinating,

13:15

like Hitchcock heroin. You know she's

13:17

got Wow what a compliment. Well, just

13:20

there is that one part where she was like, when

13:22

I love someone, I go away from them?

13:26

Are going away from you love

13:28

someone from?

13:30

When I love someone, I

13:32

go away from me? And I

13:36

that I just thought was like one of the you know just

13:41

yeah, I mean, and I love just her voice about

13:44

like a twenty year old. It's nonsense,

13:49

but I gotta say I have

13:51

a soft spot for There

13:53

have been a bunch of like crazy

13:56

redheads on the show Brave

13:59

Caroline Yeah seven.

14:03

Yeah, I'm always just like

14:06

so impressed and appalled

14:08

a little bit by anyone. I

14:11

am a ginger anyone who's a

14:13

ginger that would like be in the sun

14:15

that much as much as you have to be to

14:18

work on a boat. You know, it's

14:20

like they're crazy

14:22

to me. But they also do

14:24

tend to be a little bit loose

14:27

cannons on. That's

14:31

funny, Well, that one that one girl didn't have a

14:33

choice because she was born on that boat

14:35

and was forced to marry the only other

14:38

man on it. And then your

14:40

redhead what she she might have been, I just

14:42

don't recall. Yeah, she was the one who

14:44

like jumps off the boat. Yeah,

14:46

Rocky, Rocky, Rocky

14:49

I thought was just various. Rocky

14:52

was a piece of work. I did enjoy her during

14:54

her stint. I didn't like how much of an apologist

14:57

for Leon the like serial killer

14:59

chef she was, though. I actually clicked

15:01

on a Rocky Instagram live

15:03

today and it's always really

15:05

awkward because you know, there's twelve

15:07

people in it. You know. It's

15:10

just like, I also love Ben

15:12

the Chef. I think Ben the Chef and

15:15

his romance with Kate Chesting

15:18

I found just lovely

15:21

they are. They were I wish if they had just been

15:23

able to make it work, But I

15:25

think they're too similar I just liked the whole

15:27

thing because it's like, yeah,

15:29

they're the lifers, very

15:31

good at what they do. Yeah.

15:33

I did like that. Very tragic because

15:36

the only girl he really fell in love with, English

15:38

Emily, was stolen

15:41

by a previous charter. Oh,

15:44

the women's club. Yeah,

15:46

and then she went to work for him. I don't think

15:48

she worked for them. She just joined their weird like

15:50

brunch whatever. Dude, she's on the website.

15:53

Okay, all right, let's get into it. Season

15:55

eight, episode eight below decks. So we

15:57

continue with rachel Um

16:00

leaving and then it's the next morning or

16:02

yes, next morning, yeah, I don't

16:05

know, it's next morning,

16:07

and Captain Lee is doing everything he

16:09

can to find like, I guess they got a new

16:11

deckcand coming, but he's trying to find a new chef with

16:14

only four hours before the charter arrives.

16:17

And he's like, goddamn it, God,

16:19

he's making phone calls and they're like, dude, please

16:23

hang up and try again because I don't

16:25

understand who he's calling. But he's getting

16:27

like disconnected, and he's like, Jesus

16:30

Christ, I got my my dick in my

16:32

hands, and uh, new

16:35

player has entered the game. Rob

16:38

never heard of him. He's a new deckhand

16:40

who shows up and we learned that. Excuse

16:42

me, excuse me,

16:46

there's I'm I'm back on this show.

16:48

No, not that, not you, Rob, not

16:51

you. I have to

16:53

go to Bali. This one has a personality.

16:56

I'm going back to Bali. Isn't like dead.

16:59

I liked him to the weird Viking man. Yeah

17:03

it's me. Oh, Rob,

17:05

Hey, do you have a joke? Oh

17:08

do you want to hear a joke? Are

17:10

you still with Jess? No? Just try

17:12

to murder me in my sleep. So I had

17:15

to right, that's right. So she burned down the

17:17

house from her last boyfriend. You decided

17:20

that's probably done with, and then she tried

17:22

to murder you. Correct. It

17:24

was very tough. But I always

17:26

have a joke for my best friend Nick.

17:29

Okay, this one's

17:31

a little dirty. Oh

17:34

I like that. Why is being

17:36

in the military like a blow

17:38

job? Why

17:40

is being in the military like a blow

17:43

job? That's what um

17:47

Because you'll

17:50

get yelled at, absolutely

17:52

not and it's over. The answer

17:54

is the closer you get to discharge,

17:57

the better you feel. Nice.

18:01

Thank you, very funny, Thanks Rob, No

18:03

problem, good job, Rob. Okay,

18:06

Bye, I have to go now, just doesn't

18:08

like when I'm on podcast with other women.

18:11

Sorry, Molly, alright,

18:14

bye, Robs you later, God he's dress.

18:17

Can you believe Rob didn't apologize to you?

18:20

No, Rob actually doesn't know Jess

18:23

told him he would beat my ass

18:25

if you acknowledge I'm

18:27

gonna eat your ass. Well,

18:29

anyway, we got a new Rob who doesn't

18:31

well, I guess he kind of mumbles, but his voice isn't

18:33

as deep. Uh, and he doesn't seem

18:36

to constantly be talking about how people hear

18:38

him and see him.

18:40

But this new deckhand apparently okay,

18:44

he's apparently worked on sailing boats

18:46

before. He seems competent.

18:48

I don't know, it's hard to say. Every time someone

18:50

shows up be like they seem to know what they're are going well, I

18:52

mean, after Sunshine,

18:54

he seems much more competent

18:57

than environmentalists

18:59

saved the world. But metal straws by going on

19:01

a wasteful yacht

19:04

a motor guy. Do you

19:06

ever think that maybe Sunshine

19:09

would actually clean the boat

19:11

better than the deckhead

19:14

with the nicknames Sunshine, Like

19:17

if you just let the sun hit it, you

19:19

know, Let's attitude. I

19:22

don't get it. One of the sun, just like doesn't

19:25

sun destroy stuff after a while? If

19:27

yeah, yeah, don't bring logic into this. Let him

19:29

have Jesus and all I had

19:32

to do with. You're right. Here

19:34

be three thoughts down the road by now. No, you're

19:36

right, you're right. I'm a fool, I'm a fool. Anyway,

19:39

we learned Francesca does in fact find

19:41

rob Q. Is that foreshadowing

19:43

we shall see? In my opinion, Francesca

19:46

would eat this poor man alive. She

19:48

would eat shred him to pieces.

19:52

It would be like Hannah and Connor, not

19:54

Connor. Wasn't it Connor?

19:56

Yeah, Connor, Connor. I've

19:59

fought it. It called Connor. When

20:02

I love someone to go away from him. I

20:06

feel that's so strange that Sandy was like, but don't you want

20:08

to experience love? And I was like, Sandy,

20:11

do not encourage her to fall in love

20:13

with Connor. Okay, why

20:16

don't we have a Sandy I go away from you shirt?

20:18

Where are we going to do? That was Hannah's face, and

20:21

it says, I go away from you? Yeah,

20:23

we need to. Steven Soderbergh's got a

20:25

June June Hannah shirt because

20:28

Steven Soderberg watches below deck. That's

20:31

got to get him. WHOA, wait,

20:33

what's the June June Hannah. June

20:36

would never respond the

20:38

like on the on the inter contry

20:41

like June June Hannah, June

20:45

Hannah. It's not working. It's not working.

20:47

It's so weird. Okay, Annay,

20:50

I now have a T shirt studio set up in

20:52

my house. You know, perfect, I'm

20:55

I am making merch now can get

20:57

reached? Na, what if I do

20:59

this, make bootleg merch for

21:02

decades and

21:04

I sell it? That's cool. I'm into

21:06

it my own store. Is that legal? I

21:08

mean Steven Solderbergh's doing it. So yeah,

21:12

totally dick whatever you want. We'll talk about it later, we'll talk

21:14

about Okay. So Captain

21:16

Lee says they have two and a half hours until pick

21:18

up and he's sitting here choking his chicken,

21:21

which could being

21:23

anything. Do you know what

21:25

that means? I don't know. I think he's just like sitting there trying to find a chef,

21:28

and I guess that means he's choking his chicken. Hard

21:32

to say, I'm sitting

21:34

here just choking my chicken. You know that

21:37

is a euphemism for what for

21:40

masturbation? Anna? Oh, so he's

21:42

just in there with this dick in his hand. Why don't you say that my

21:45

chick in my hands? Because he said dick in his hand

21:47

too many times. He's got to spice it up.

21:50

I see. Well yeah, and

21:52

then hey, what do you know? Rachel shows

21:54

back up. And I wanted to say I predicted

21:56

this because in the after show last week,

21:59

Kate chu Staine, who has worked with

22:01

Rachel, says that that's what she does. She

22:04

quits and then comes back, so it's like a

22:07

theme in her cheffery. Wow.

22:09

I mean, I think that Rachel

22:11

is such a funny character her whole,

22:14

like I'm a dirty talking chef.

22:16

I mean, all the chefs are also just a fascinating

22:19

character type people

22:21

that would be chefs specifically on boats.

22:24

But Rachel's whole like tits

22:27

McGee like, oh, this

22:29

fucking you know sandwich

22:31

tastes like jis in my mouth. Just her whole,

22:34

her whole like I'm a dirty

22:36

female comedian who's also a yacht

22:38

chef. Thing feels

22:42

just like a great character. But yeah,

22:44

it's funny to see her go back on it and be like,

22:46

oh, I'm just bullshitting like it was. She's

22:49

like, yeah, you know me. In the

22:51

after show too, they all agreed

22:54

that the demands were crazy. From

22:56

the menu, they asked Kate.

22:58

They were like, oh, what was

23:00

that a crazy list? And

23:03

they were like, oh, yeah, absolutely

23:05

it was crazy. So what

23:07

do you do like that? You know, Captain

23:10

Lee put out the idea that

23:13

they could talk to them about it, right,

23:15

but they never talked to him about it, and and again

23:18

I just did nothing happen. I mean, they

23:20

did a great job. Yeah, it was like very anti

23:22

climactic. She cooked all the food

23:24

and it was good. Well, I guess

23:26

it's not done, and hopefully there's you know,

23:28

some episode nine drama coming, I

23:31

mean hopefully, But it seems like they had those

23:33

repeat passengers that are on like every

23:36

every version of the show, who

23:39

come back every year, and they just wanted like

23:41

a Marty Grap party, which

23:43

is everybody wants a Marty Grap party. Easiest

23:45

thing to do this

23:48

is if a producer, if

23:50

I was producing this, I would say, Rachel,

23:52

you cannot go back on that ship because

23:55

they need to find a chef and they're not going to

23:57

have a chef. And Captain Lee was like, maybe

24:00

we just tell them we don't have a chef and

24:03

I would love to see that episode. That's

24:06

gonna be great TV. Her coming back is

24:08

not great TV. Well, it was also like she

24:10

came back at the beginning of the episode,

24:12

so it's like they didn't even stretch it out to be

24:14

like, oh no, what are we gonna do. We

24:17

don't have a chef and like Charters

24:19

starts tomorrow, they just in

24:21

the first ten seconds or like she

24:24

came back, she fucked up and

24:26

she's begging for a job and they're going to give

24:28

it to your Yeah. I

24:30

mean that. It was such a quick

24:32

turn around that I kind of sense. I was like, oh, this is this

24:35

was just fluff. Also, we saw footage

24:37

of like her doing

24:40

like doing more stuff that we hadn't seen yet in

24:42

like all the trailers and stuff. So I was like, well, if

24:44

we haven't even seen that yet, that means she's back. I

24:46

don't know many clues to

24:50

support my theory. We're

24:52

gonna take a quick break and we'll be right

24:54

back after these quick commercial breaks,

25:03

and we're back. Okay, So Rachel's

25:05

back. She apologizes to Captain

25:08

Lee and it's like, can I have my job

25:10

back? And she says the severity

25:12

learning of the severity of coronavirus and missing

25:14

her boyfriend basically made her lose her mind,

25:18

which is why she quit. And Captain

25:20

Lee's like, usually when someone leaves,

25:23

they don't get to come back, but

25:25

I will make an exception because we really need a chef,

25:27

and chefs chefs are very high tempered ship

25:30

show, so I let her come back. I

25:32

really do need her, you hypocrite.

25:35

Yeah, well he does need

25:37

her. And he was sitting there with his chicken in his hands, choking

25:40

the chicken. What was it? I don't know. Um.

25:43

And then Francesca, who let me just tell you, Francesca,

25:45

I don't care that you can't trust

25:48

anyone. This is a fucking job. Get over

25:50

it. She's like, I really can't trust anyone.

25:53

I don't trust Elizabeth, oh, Rachel.

25:55

I'll just have to keep it professional with them

25:57

moving forward. And I'm like, yeah,

26:00

bitch, you should have been doing that the whole time. Yeah,

26:02

Francesca is such a fake Hannah and

26:05

such a downgrade. Yeah no, no,

26:07

you can't be a Hannah. You can't be a Kate honey.

26:10

I also can't do an Australian accent, so you're

26:12

British for now, Okay, well

26:15

I love the accents. I love just like there's

26:17

so many like Australians and South Africans

26:20

and they're all like that's

26:25

what they all sound like. Yeah,

26:33

elephant bone, jo

26:35

Joel, elephant bone.

26:38

Everything had to do with an elephant bone. With him Zimbabwe,

26:41

he was like his backstory too. I

26:43

mean obviously like a white South African,

26:46

he was from Zimbabwe. Remember, he

26:49

was the one that got him

26:51

wrong. He's from the wrong side

26:53

of the tracks in Zimbabwe. He

26:55

ain't never had nothing, He's never going

26:57

to have anything. Anything he's ever about,

27:00

like, my parents were robbed and that's why

27:02

I'm a nightmare person. He's

27:05

eating with an elephant bone. Yeah,

27:07

well, his whole thing. Anytime he would like he'd

27:10

be like, oh, let me tell you a little something about myself.

27:12

It would be like the darkest should I've ever heard.

27:16

I'm not surprised some of those people go on boats.

27:18

Yeah, yeah, because they are. They are

27:20

trying to get away from something and like their lives.

27:23

And then you get to go live on a bow and just work.

27:26

You work so hard you don't really have time to think

27:28

about anything. You can't like stew on

27:30

your past. You just work, work where work,

27:33

and then you like party your face off

27:35

in the world's most beautiful places. In

27:37

between it is the oh

27:40

you you broke your leg when you

27:42

were a child. Well, when I was a child,

27:45

I was tied up in a Zimbabwean

27:47

prison by my leg and

27:50

the only way I got out was to know it

27:52

off. But upon exiting

27:54

the prison, I was severely beaten

27:56

by a guard with an elephant bone and

27:59

I lost the the leg they were

28:01

they grew back. Let's get to yachting group

28:05

back time for the Mardi Gras party.

28:09

Better put out the slide so

28:13

stupid. Yeah, I mean that is his

28:15

whole vibe. But I'm an incredibly hard

28:18

worker. And Captain Sandy's

28:20

like, oh, jay Low, you're

28:22

the best. Like God,

28:25

damn it. He is a monster.

28:27

Remember remember

28:29

when Remember when Sandy outed

28:31

him as a lesbian in a cameo.

28:34

No, that was Oh that's

28:36

right. What was her name, Meliah?

28:38

Yeah, we don't think Malia

28:41

straight. Nobody does. It's like,

28:44

it's not your business to be out

28:47

like I'm not a fan of Maliah, but I ain't outing

28:50

her like that's they don't. I didn't

28:52

I missed that. Well, I mean her

28:54

relations her boyfriend is the worst

28:57

person, also her ex. But

29:00

they are they officially broken up? Did they get back

29:03

together? Maybe like quarantining together? From

29:06

an after show I saw from Andy Cohen's

29:09

Got the Four one one, Got

29:11

the four That song

29:13

so much now I also like hate it. I

29:16

hate it, but like every time it comes from like coins

29:19

Got four one, Yeah, it's

29:21

it's a catchy Below deck Med's Malia

29:23

White confirmed split from Tom check

29:26

It's I am very much single. Let it

29:28

be known single

29:30

and dating Captain Sandy is just choking.

29:33

That is not fact. Do not report

29:35

that. But you know what now that you say that

29:38

they had more chemistry than she did with her boyfriend,

29:40

for sure, and they all got

29:43

off on teaming up against Hannah. That was

29:45

what was gross today. I mean, Molly, the thing

29:47

you need to understand about maritime law is that

29:49

I need to choke on my own dick. Let

29:52

of people smoke a little weed when

29:54

they get off work from there

29:57

on a fucking yacht in Spain. Do

29:59

you of time she said maritime law,

30:02

I was like, bitch, nobody cares.

30:05

Nobody like nobody takes a valium

30:08

on a boat. Come on, yeah, chill

30:10

out, um

30:12

boats of her drugs. I

30:15

think it's Chris whenever they have a plot line about

30:17

finding drugs on the boat and it's like, oh, I'm

30:20

sorry, you're gonna like nark on people

30:22

that are spending a billion dollars to come

30:24

on your stupid boat and like do lots of drugs.

30:26

Obviously, if

30:29

this wasn't being filmed, no big

30:31

deal. They're all just fucking freaked out. They're gonna

30:33

lose their jobs because it's being filmed. But I

30:35

feel like Sandy made such a big

30:37

deal of it. It didn't have to be such

30:40

a big deal. Well, the whole

30:42

thing's always making her look like

30:44

a good captain, but he's just making

30:46

her look like an asshole who doesn't

30:49

deal with her employees like real people. Right,

30:53

Well, that was the thing. It's like, if it wasn't being filmed,

30:55

Like her whole thing was like, you know, there's

30:58

like a black box type situation and in the bridge

31:00

everything's being recorded. So at that point, the

31:03

second she spoke to Malea about

31:05

it, and then the other weird ghost

31:07

figure whose name I don't

31:09

remember, who was just there, like it

31:12

becomes their problem

31:14

basically because now it's on record.

31:17

So if the management company of the boat goes

31:19

back and listens and they're like, Captain

31:21

Sandy, what the fuck? Then she could lose

31:23

her job and her license and the boat will be impounded.

31:26

Oh god, everything would fall apart. Boat

31:29

would be in jail, boat jail.

31:33

I mean, that's like what they always say.

31:35

I'll lose my license, the boat will be impounded,

31:37

everyone will be in jail, will be in a foreign country.

31:39

No, they could help us. I'll lose

31:41

my license and my ability to pretend

31:44

to captain a boat one time a year for this show

31:46

below Deck. That's right. I mean that

31:50

that's her whole thing, and

31:52

she's got her restaurants to open. Yeah.

31:56

That was the thing too, where I was like, why isn't

31:58

production intervening

32:00

here because the show is gonna be bad without

32:03

Hannah, And then it was the

32:05

rest of the season sucked, Bugsy.

32:08

She's just too good at her job. That's the problem. I don't

32:11

need to see a fucking ace, Chief stew

32:13

I want to tablescapes,

32:16

yeah literally, like, oh were they

32:18

supposed to go on the table? I put them all over my

32:20

body, right, Like that's the thing. If

32:22

you get rid of the people that are causing drama then

32:24

you have people just like seamlessly doing

32:28

the boat stuff, and that's really boring for a

32:30

TV show. Yeah, that's the thing. Hannah

32:32

is good TV period. She's

32:35

great TV, and she's a great character. And

32:37

I'm also glad for her that she got out

32:40

of yachting because I think she

32:42

wanted to pull the trigger on her own terms.

32:45

But she was

32:47

clearly done with it, and

32:49

it seems like everybody gets pretty fed up with it at

32:51

a certain point. It's just like waitressing,

32:54

it's sir. Yeah, yeah,

32:57

it's just like podcasting. Shut

32:59

up. It's just like podcasting. It's fun and glamorous

33:01

at first, and then you know, suddenly

33:04

your ten years into your life,

33:06

and what do you have to show for it? And

33:09

I'm not talking about anything specific. You

33:12

know, yachting is a hard life. Yeah,

33:16

Podcasting used to be fun. You go around

33:18

the city to different recording studios

33:21

and you know, seeing people go to

33:23

different boats. It's fun.

33:25

You go into the I Heart offices, you

33:27

see all your friends. Is a good time. But

33:30

damn, I'm in a closet now and I've

33:33

changed my mind about wanting to be a yatty. I'm

33:35

going to be yeah, all right, So let's

33:37

get back to it. Rob is from Toronto, Canada,

33:40

and he said he's an expert exploration

33:42

geologists and his job basically

33:44

consists of looking for gold. But

33:46

when the market crashes, he's out of

33:48

a goddamn job and then he has to fall back on

33:51

his yachting career. He's so

33:53

snotty about it too. He's like, yachting

33:56

is like I was doing this really fun,

33:58

amazing thing and then I guess this

34:00

is all slummit here in a super

34:03

yacht. It's where who

34:07

does this dude think you? He's

34:09

a dork? I laugh at sometimes

34:12

I just for fun, I go down to the marina, right

34:16

and I'm starting measuring boats and just

34:18

giggling, having the time of my life, just

34:21

giggling at twenty Well,

34:23

he says he comes from a long line of pirates

34:26

and hookers, to which I say, we don't

34:28

call them hookers. They're sex workers,

34:30

you asshole, So get your ship together.

34:32

You come from a long line of pirates and sex

34:35

workers, and pirates are thief

34:37

workers, all right, And

34:40

it's straight. They're not pirates,

34:42

they're thief workers. Okay. We live in a progressive

34:45

society, Rob, they're

34:47

wet thief their wet bandits for the

34:49

movie Home Alone, right, and then also

34:51

I didn't understand that because he's like, my family

34:53

was all in the navy. Now, what's the correlation

34:55

between the navy and pirates and sex

34:58

workers? I don't know. Maybe navy,

35:01

the Navy hire sex workers, but then like, what

35:03

does the pirates coming? I don't know. Rob, a

35:06

lot of holes in your back story. Okay,

35:09

they all are at the dock. They're all hanging

35:11

out at the dock. He was born there,

35:13

iss

35:16

all right, that actually makes sense. And someone was

35:18

like, no search for gold child, and

35:20

he never looked back. Did

35:22

we just write a great TV show about

35:25

the docks. It's got sex workers,

35:27

it's got the Navy, it's got pirates.

35:29

There's nothing it doesn't have. I think that was season

35:32

two of The Wire, Actually

35:34

it was, and I loved that season. Unfortunately

35:37

has already been done. Sorry Nick, Yeah, I

35:40

was totally into the dock Workers season.

35:42

I don't know this show, The Wire.

35:45

Here we go. But all I know is, if you're

35:47

talking about the Baltimore Harbor, we're

35:49

talking about where months

35:53

year on a tugboat church.

35:56

I know somebody who knows Eddie

35:58

a friend of mine, do tells call them?

36:01

Here's my phone. My friend Harris's

36:04

who's from Baltimore, like

36:06

all the coolest people. Uh

36:08

said that he worked at like a summer

36:11

camp doing jet ski instruction.

36:14

Wait with Eddie as teenagers? Was

36:16

this Parker's parents summer camp?

36:19

Oh maybe we can

36:21

all agree, only stupid people from

36:23

Baltimore, right, Okay, the

36:25

coolest, the coolest people. I actually

36:28

I'm wearing a Baltimore Orioles.

36:32

I know. I used to live outside

36:34

of Baltimore myself. I love

36:37

Baltimore. I went

36:39

there once when I was a kid, and I thought

36:41

it was like the most glamorous and beautiful

36:44

city I'd ever seen in my life. Just the

36:46

inner Harbor, while the Harbor

36:48

and we went to Camden Yards. So

36:51

I just also came

36:55

away from it like Baltimore.

36:57

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't have that experience.

37:00

And I used to go to ball almost

37:02

every summer because we had family friends there. My

37:04

parents would ship me off for a few weeks to stay

37:06

there with them, and not

37:08

glamorous experience. I will

37:11

say, though, I do wonder if

37:13

we go back and watch season two of The

37:15

Wire, if we would see Eddie in the background.

37:18

Sorry, working at the docks, working at

37:21

the docks, tugging the boats in a

37:23

little sixteen year old Eddie. Yeah,

37:27

we're doing like Jim Carey impressions,

37:29

doing jet skis. Yeah. Yeah.

37:31

Shout out to my friend Harris uh for

37:34

his first person below deck connections.

37:36

So he knows Eddie. How well would

37:38

you say? He

37:41

just not at this

37:43

point, but you know they were there.

37:45

He'd be willing to call in and leave

37:47

us a voicemail we can play on the show. I

37:50

will ask him for sure, you can get

37:52

him to record a voice memo and send it to us.

37:55

That would be incredible. Sure, tell

37:57

us all about Eddie. Yeah, now

38:00

what number would he call? Hard to say at

38:02

this No, I just said, send a voice

38:04

memo. It's you don't need to call a number, send

38:06

a voice memo. Okay. Well, so Eddie

38:09

says Rachel doesn't deserve her job

38:11

back, but they do in fact need her. So he's going

38:13

to tug boat her luggage right back on that

38:15

boat. Uh So

38:18

when the guests, So, the guests want a hundred

38:20

things, including a beach picnic, a Mardi grab

38:22

party, high tea, blah blah blah, little

38:26

country boil. Yes, there you go,

38:28

a country boil. Oh,

38:30

it's like a southern thing.

38:32

It's more like north like Carolinas.

38:35

But it's like it's the same as basically

38:38

like like a crawfish boil. Yeah,

38:40

he's boiling like a seafood boil, a

38:42

southern seafood boil. Sure, But why is

38:45

it called that because it's the low country

38:48

of somewhere. I

38:53

don't know, man, I'm like Emmy, I'm like

38:55

Eddie, I'm used to Chesapeake Bay, uh

38:59

shrimp boil, right right, But you're familiar

39:01

with like of a boil, Oh

39:04

for sure. I'm just interested in the

39:06

etymology of this low country m

39:10

I'll figure it out now. I got to look it up. I've never

39:12

been to a boil, never had a boil. Yes,

39:16

oh my god, we gotta do it when

39:19

we've actually made my own boils twice

39:21

during quarantine. Oh really, yes,

39:25

that is like I've talked about it forever

39:27

my boyfriends from New Orleans. So he

39:30

is a big crawfish boiler.

39:33

You need a huge pot, you know.

39:36

Yeah, you just need one pot, that's it. And then

39:38

you put things in, you know, every

39:41

five minutes, you know whatever, and it

39:43

doesn't take that long. All right, Well, we gotta

39:45

let's do a boil in your garage area or

39:47

whatever you have. Yeah, and then I'm

39:50

sure you'll remember the episode of vander

39:52

Pump Rules where they introduced

39:54

Summerhouse and the

39:56

girls from vander Pump are very confused

39:59

by the likes seafood. They're

40:01

doing a like a waspy version of that.

40:04

Oh god, I haven't Summerhouse. I

40:06

have not thought about that in so long. Yeah, I should watch

40:08

Summer House. I never started watching that. Oh my god,

40:10

you should. It's really good. It makes you appreciate

40:13

the just spicy

40:15

flavor of every other show because

40:18

everyone else goes on that show basically,

40:20

right, No, it's just like these

40:23

like waspy, boring people

40:25

from New York who go to a summer

40:27

house and rent a summer house together for

40:29

the weekends. Okay,

40:32

it's like Jersey Shore. It's

40:34

like Jersey Shore with the whitest people in

40:36

the world. But

40:39

that's kind of fun in its own way because they're all repressed

40:41

and then they get ship house drunk

40:43

and say crazy things. Yeah,

40:47

but is every episode a different group of people,

40:50

Know, it's the same group of people that all rent a summer house

40:52

together in the Hampton's every summer, which

40:55

the whole concept blows my mind because it's like they're

40:59

renting a house, but they only go to it

41:01

on the weekends. It's like a sharehouse,

41:03

which is the thing I only know about from like a Sex

41:05

in the City episode I see

41:09

makes the Hamptons seem really terrible and boring.

41:12

So okay, guys, I've

41:14

got it. Okay. Um,

41:17

So, the it's a seafood boil,

41:20

you know. These are this various regional seafood

41:22

boils. Louisiani

41:29

Crawfits boil for sure, and Georgia,

41:32

South Carolina that's

41:34

low country. They're

41:36

very similar to other boils, uh,

41:39

Shrimp, corn on the cob, sausage,

41:42

red potatoes. This one sometimes has ham

41:44

in it. That's a little different. Or

41:47

a Beaufort stew or a frog More

41:49

stew. I'm gonna I'm

41:51

gonna bring this back to below deck. So

41:54

low country cuisine is South Carolina

41:57

and Georgia, like you were saying, and

41:59

it's like southern Southern food, uh,

42:03

mixed with like African cuisine and

42:05

Cajun cuisine and everything. One

42:08

of the traditional foods aside

42:10

from she crab soup, it's

42:12

called cootter soup. Oh,

42:15

is that that's crab, it's turtle apparently

42:19

coo. That's when she said eat my cooter. She's

42:21

like, eat my turtle soup, Eat

42:23

my turtle soup. So

42:26

in New England it's called it's

42:28

called a clam bake. Yes,

42:30

that's what they do on Summerhouse that the vander

42:33

Pump girls are like so confused, and

42:35

I related to them because they're like, what is this and

42:38

Sina mo One eat seafood idiot?

42:40

And then in Chesapeake Bay it doesn't

42:42

actually have a name because

42:45

like crab boy,

42:47

you know, because that's the it's crab. It's it's ground

42:49

zero for blue crabs. But the term crab

42:51

boil is not an actual term. They

42:54

just call it a party. They'll call it a crab

42:56

feast, but it's just it's not

42:58

yet. There's no boiled name. And

43:01

that's it. Good night, good

43:04

night, just

43:06

kidding them. The show keeps going, all right, So now

43:08

we know what a crab boil is and I guess these

43:10

people are from North Carolina, that's right, yeah, because

43:13

the main primary is like the number one

43:15

realist state agent in North

43:17

Kea. Sorry, also in

43:20

the Upper Great Lakes and Wisconsin, um

43:23

places with large Scandinavian populations.

43:25

They have fish boils. No.

43:28

I just love learning about regional cuisine. I

43:30

went down a whole last week

43:32

because there was that thing where Wisconsin issued

43:35

the thing about donat a raw meat sandwich

43:37

for Christmas, and then everyone was like,

43:39

I do what I want, it's a tradition. Well,

43:43

it turns out it's

43:45

called a cannibal sandwich is just raw beef

43:47

on bread on white bread. And

43:50

it turns out it's because there's so many Germans,

43:53

there's such a big German population

43:56

in Wisconsin that it's

43:59

a German thing called met which

44:01

is just raw pork, usually

44:04

on bread. But there's

44:07

a thing they do in Germany where they make it into

44:09

a hedgehog, and so people eat like a hedgehog

44:11

made of raw pork. Oh cool,

44:14

Yeah, I don't know about that. Good could

44:17

I do that? Well, here's the thing, raw

44:19

beef you can eat, rob pork, you

44:21

guys eat that. I shouldn't eat that. Well,

44:24

it's just will you know that's that will kill

44:26

you? They could take a new chances

44:30

again. Hey, they did just lower

44:33

the temperature needed to eat pork safely

44:35

to the point where you could now have pork

44:38

that's pink in the middle, so maybe it'll come

44:40

down even more soon, who knows. Where

44:42

do you see this hedgehog? You'll want to eat raw

44:44

pork immediately. Yeah,

44:48

okay, so don't I

44:51

please just don't eat ry meat you guys. I don't care

44:53

what your traditions are. Just don't do It's not worth it, Salmanella

44:55

poison? Is that worth it? No? Wait?

44:58

What is in it? Is that onions? That's

45:01

the spurs and I think that I think it's

45:03

onions. Yeah, wows.

45:06

And this is apparently a seventies dinner party

45:08

thing from Germany, the idea of turning

45:10

it into a hedgehog. But

45:13

lots of people were like, you know what, it's a cultural

45:15

food and uh, people

45:18

eat all kinds of things in different

45:20

places. We don't need everyone to live. Also,

45:23

you know, maybe it builds your immune

45:26

system. Everyone. I'm I'm

45:28

I'm proclaiming on the show that eating raw pork

45:30

builds your immune system a

45:32

Deckhead's endorsed opinion. Yes,

45:36

I endorse it all right, let's try

45:38

and knock through the rest of this. So, yeah, Elizabeth tells

45:41

Frances Frank, check out our I eat

45:43

raw pork t shirts. We

45:46

are not making that Deckhead's store. So

45:48

for Elizabeth tells Francesco that she's She's

45:50

like, I'm really going to like step up my game

45:53

and I'm really going to come through for you, like

45:55

I have my crystals ready, I'm gonna nail

45:57

this. And I'm like, we shall see.

46:00

Dumb, dumb, you created a bomb

46:02

or a gas bomb in the last episode. Let's

46:05

see how this future

46:07

of your show. I don't even know. Let's see how this goes.

46:10

Uh. And then Rachel before the guests are arriving,

46:13

Rachel is um classic

46:15

Rachel. She's lint rolling her crotch and

46:17

says that she has a fuzzy taco

46:21

whow. Rachel

46:24

is a wild one fuzzy

46:26

Talco. I'm gonna I'm gonna start using that alright.

46:30

So the guests are arriving and they

46:32

are all dressed like Alice in Wonderland characters.

46:35

The main primary as he's walking up

46:37

is like, I'm gonna need to lick a big popsicle

46:40

right about now. But he also says it in the most

46:42

sinister way, like I had

46:44

to go back and rewind it because I was like, I'm sorry, what

46:47

is this tone you're using where you're going to threaten

46:50

us like it was scary. It

46:52

was I'm gonna need to eat up. I'm gonna

46:54

need to lick a bigall popsicle

46:56

right now, and if not, you'll

46:59

kill us. It looks like you'd get along

47:01

with Rachel though, because Rachel would be like, I've

47:03

got a big old popsicle for you to lick.

47:05

Oh. Yes, him and Rachel, they

47:09

they are in contact. And that's

47:11

that. Please don't please

47:13

don't question me on this. They are in contact. Well,

47:17

anyway, they're all shirtless and obnoxious.

47:19

A sap the main primary.

47:22

I cannot figure out his facial hair.

47:24

It's very confusing because sometimes it looks like

47:26

he has like a beard, and sometimes looks like he just has

47:29

like, uh, goatee, and then sometimes

47:31

he just has a soul patch. I don't know what the lighting

47:33

is on this episode, but it's all over

47:35

the place. Maybe he's got

47:37

all three maybe and

47:39

he just keeps switching them out. It does feel

47:42

like his his facial hair changes every

47:44

time. I can't figure out what his facial hair

47:46

is. They could be shooting out of sequence.

47:50

He's like shaving and like growing and shaving.

47:52

It's very confusing. He is an

47:55

interesting character. Elizabeth

47:57

is continuing to talk to everyone about

47:59

her issues where Francesca, but

48:01

this time Ash is like, you know, it's

48:03

just like just like play with your crystals

48:06

and like things will work out. Okay. Elizabeth's

48:09

like, oh my god, that's like such a

48:11

good idea. Oh you're

48:13

so right, Ash, And actually, now

48:15

please leave me alone. I really need to

48:17

Iron and the crew. Miss. That's all she

48:19

ever does is iron and got one job,

48:22

and I'm really not supposed to be talking

48:24

to anyone. Francesco doesn't

48:26

like what I frettenize with you because you're a fucking

48:29

dumb dumb No, no, don't

48:31

pull up my sleeve. Now

48:34

you've seen the lashing Mark, okay

48:36

Jesus Christ nick Um.

48:39

Rachel says she likes Elizabeth, but she doesn't

48:41

want to be in the middle of her and Francesco's drama,

48:43

so she's setting her friendship with Elizabeth

48:45

to the side, which I thought was really

48:48

sad. Like everyone's kind of being like, hey, Elizabeth,

48:50

you're kind of a sinking ship. Could you get away from

48:52

me? It's like I really cannot be

48:54

attached to you. Get go away, Go away,

48:56

Elizabeth, go away. That's like

48:59

everyone treats her, and I

49:01

have a possible

49:03

question to ask all future guests. I

49:05

don't know if you're looking to add to or

49:09

to you know, update your three

49:11

questions at any point, but I have one suggestion.

49:15

Ask our guests how

49:18

big in inches they believe Captain

49:20

Lee's cock is? Okay, Nick, not

49:23

why? Now? First of all, these conversations can happen

49:25

off air. This

49:27

is a good one, so we all know it's

49:30

a tight four inches okay,

49:33

huge dick, Huge dick.

49:36

Okay, I'm just saying you

49:39

can see it because when he wears his white pants,

49:41

it's just like wow, the shadow

49:43

it creates. Someone. Honestly, I asked that

49:45

because I'm looking at this page, this picture

49:48

from Instagram. Huge dick. He's wearing

49:50

white pants that are really tight, and you can see it. How right

49:53

his car and it's huge? Right, I would

49:55

say four

49:57

and a half inches flacid, but

50:00

that's my Oh

50:02

okay, interesting, ten inches?

50:04

What a king. Mrs Captain

50:07

Lee has no complaints. Maryanne

50:09

is lovely person, of course. Not

50:11

that's why. That's why when he's gone,

50:14

she comes back, she gets dick down. She

50:16

ain't got no problem waiting. Uh,

50:18

that's sir, Mrs Captain Lee

50:20

to you, Okay, that's his

50:23

dick, Sir, Mrs Captain

50:25

Lee. Francesca

50:28

calls Elizabeth a diner

50:30

waitress because she pours wine bottles

50:32

by the neck, and I'm like, what the

50:34

fuck cares? I guess there is

50:37

a standard, but if you don't. Whenever

50:39

I'm drinking wine in a diner,

50:42

I know I'm always looking at how it's poored,

50:45

like this goddamn diner waitress

50:47

isn't poorn ma wine correctly. Also,

50:50

maybe just tell her and then she'll learn.

50:53

This woman has never been to the Bordeaux region.

50:56

Like you just be like, hey, Elizabeth, actually poor like

50:58

this, this is a standard for super yachts. And then

51:00

she'd be like, oh okay, now I know that, or she

51:03

won't listen and never learn whatever the point

51:05

is you told her, so it's not yours, not your

51:07

problem anymore. She's just a dumb dumb anyway,

51:11

Oh baby, this is the moment

51:13

we've all been waiting for. So Rob

51:17

is like there is rumors Rob. Also,

51:19

I couldn't figure out Rob's accent for a while,

51:21

but I guess he's Canadian, but sometimes he sounds British.

51:24

It's very weird. He's

51:27

he is all over the place as well. Um,

51:31

so Rob is like, uh, there's rumors of

51:33

coronavirus on Tortola, which is

51:35

a island of British Virgin

51:37

Island. There's rumors of coronavirus on Tortola,

51:40

and all the masks like sold out.

51:43

And this this conversation leads

51:46

to a classic Eddie

51:48

impression. Hold

51:51

on, a classic

51:53

Eddie impression. Eddie does a

51:56

Trump impression? Nick

51:59

do it? Did I miss this? Yes?

52:02

For are you kidding? This was the most exciting part of the

52:04

episode. Eddie back Baby, Eddie

52:08

is back baby. What did he say? He

52:10

was doing impression of you gotta do it? Being

52:13

like it's everything's okay, don't

52:15

worry about it. I can't do a very good Trump impression,

52:17

but I think everything's okay. You gotta go

52:19

back and watch it. This is like what we've been waiting for.

52:21

We've been waiting for Eddie to let loose and do

52:24

one of his dumb impressions that he I'm sorry,

52:26

I totally miss this. I think Cheetah

52:29

might have been jumping on my lap at that exact moment.

52:31

Wow, this is a letdown, someone

52:33

tweeted at us saying that literally,

52:35

deckheads are gonna be so excited that Trump does a Eddie

52:38

does a Trump impression. I'm over

52:40

Trump. I guess what, tell you what. I'm

52:43

sorry. I'm sorry December, I'm

52:47

over Trump. This aired or

52:50

this was filmed at the end of February where

52:52

Trump was literally bungling this

52:54

coronavirus response. So I appreciate

52:57

the huge, huge for

52:59

us. You don't even

53:02

care, you piece, I don't know. Well,

53:05

Eddie's back, baby. We've been saying that

53:07

Eddie refuses to let his guard down and do

53:09

one of his classic Google Eddie a Little Women

53:15

got impressions this whole time. When

53:17

he finally did it, he did a Trump impression.

53:19

That's what we've been living for. Well,

53:22

I'd prefer if he'd branch out a little bit. Well,

53:25

I mean, I would argue he did

53:29

branch out. He hasn't done Trump before before. He's always

53:31

just doing like like Jim

53:33

Carey and dan

53:35

Ackroyd or whatever. Now

53:38

he's branched out to Trump and

53:41

it's going well in my opinion. I mean,

53:43

that's the thing. It's like I want him to do his impressions

53:45

so I can be like, oh, fuck you, Eddie, that's

53:48

what gets me going getting mad at Eddie

53:50

for doing a dumb impression, but the fact that he hasn't

53:52

been doing that hasn't been giving me the life I need to be, Like,

53:54

I'll fuck you Eddie. Okay,

53:59

I guess we'll move forward. Well,

54:02

the guests are having their market Marty gras them

54:04

dinner ear and they're all dressed again like Alice in Wonderland

54:07

characters Alison

54:09

Wonderland, Wonderland. I

54:12

like Wonderland, Wonderland,

54:14

Wonderland, same thing, Spiderman

54:17

and Batman Wonderland, Alison,

54:20

Wonderland. It's Land. I'm

54:22

just I have an accent Wonderland. They

54:25

all they dressed like mad Hatter, like

54:27

they have the funniest outfits.

54:30

To me, They're like they

54:32

dressed in like checkered suits, and then

54:34

one guy just has his shirt and buttoned all the way

54:37

down. He's just like the weird odd guy out and

54:39

then there's like like checkered

54:42

Fedora's. It's an aesthetic it's an

54:44

aesthetic choice that they're making, and they all sort

54:46

of match except for one guy anyway.

54:50

So James is trying to figure out if Elizabeth is

54:53

single, and she's like, um, so

54:55

like I like recently got out of something. Um,

54:58

it was like really tough. They're like

55:00

a really special place in hell for other

55:02

girls who get involved in other women's

55:05

relationships. But anyway, I am, in fact attracted

55:07

to James because I am a hopeless romantic and

55:09

I'm always looking to get hurt my

55:12

crystals. So I'm

55:15

excited for that storyline

55:18

to pop off because James is going to

55:20

destroy Elizabeth's soul. It

55:22

is not good. Did we get to the point

55:25

where she was like soaking

55:27

it all in for one point five

55:29

seconds on the beach? Oh, we'll get

55:31

there. We'll get there. That's

55:33

the best. Yes, all right. So Rob says,

55:36

sailing yachts are like really gritty, but

55:38

motor yachts are cushy and filled with beautiful

55:40

people, so you know you gotta like shower more.

55:45

He was really disappointed. This

55:48

is a shower job, slemon it on

55:51

the super yacht. Yeah,

55:54

hard to say if he's good at his job at this point. Still

55:57

don't really know. But is he classic?

55:59

Is he? Who? By the way, is he outed herself as

56:02

a lesbian on her Instagram

56:04

recently? Because I guess a bunch of dudes were sliding

56:07

in her d m s and she's like, no, thank you, Honey

56:10

is out and proud, and I'm like, good for you? Is? He tell

56:12

these times on the Deck

56:14

Crew everyone that

56:16

doesn't necessarily automatically mean you're a lesbian.

56:20

There's a reason she and James haven't been

56:22

blinking. Well. I

56:25

don't know about that. James is a certain type

56:27

of woman's type. If you will, James

56:29

a shaga, a shag

56:32

lad, if you will, a real lads

56:34

lad. Yeah, he's He's an interesting

56:36

guy. He's too busy, like plucking his eyebrows

56:38

and being like, am I gorgeous in the mirror? So

56:41

is? He says. Rachel is really good with her hands,

56:43

and if she was a lesbian, you'd want her

56:45

down there, if

56:47

you know what I mean. Finger banging

56:50

you, finger banging

56:52

you to your fucking horned

56:55

up and orgazing like you've never orgasm

56:57

before in your life. Just finger banging.

57:01

We're blessed to have Izzy on this season. H

57:05

Um. Yeah, I guess man, that is so disjointed.

57:08

I feel like the jointed

57:10

get finger banged with a disjointed

57:12

finger? Am I right? Sometimes

57:15

it feels like the deck Crew and the interior

57:17

are on different shows. They

57:20

are in a way because we're

57:22

not going out together, there's no common

57:24

time. Well yeah,

57:27

so Francesca walks in on Elizabeth talking

57:29

to Izzy about their like weird awkward situation

57:32

again and Francesca gets upset

57:34

and it's like, oh, I can't trust anyone

57:36

on this boat, and so I'm

57:39

just going to silk about it, and

57:41

again British accent. My bad. I don't know what I'm

57:43

doing. And guess what, it's perfect,

57:45

don't change. It's the next day.

57:49

Wow, this one is just going on

57:52

forever. Huh okay, none

57:54

of that. Ah, So it's next

57:56

morning. Elizabeth is in her bed

57:58

doing her daily affirmations, where she's like, today

58:01

is a day of completion. I like

58:04

really want to be happy. Today

58:06

everything will work out totally. Today

58:09

I will be so good at my job.

58:11

And today I am going

58:13

to like kiss a boy, and today

58:16

I'm going to fall in love with Francesca.

58:19

And today I'm gonna

58:21

like totally not make an accidental

58:23

mustard gas bomb. And today,

58:26

um no, no, I don't need my notes

58:29

from yesterday, and I don't need I

58:31

don't need to read How to Be a stew again.

58:33

I just need to say I'm going

58:35

to be good. That's right, I'm going

58:38

to be good ish. Maybe

58:40

maybe I'll listen this time. I don't know her to say. I probably

58:42

won't listen, but I'll try to And that's

58:44

what matters. Thank

58:47

you, Elizabeth. I really hope, I really

58:49

hope you make it through this season because you you

58:52

are a good TV because you create gas bombs.

58:55

That is unbelievable, Mustard

58:58

gas, unbelievable World

59:01

War One. You're you're

59:03

a military technology who

59:06

does that? But then again, they asked

59:08

Kate Chastain and she was like, I didn't know about

59:10

that. Like I did either, I could have

59:12

done that. You would think it

59:14

might have happened on an earlier season. Yeah,

59:18

yeah, I mean I've never heard of that. I uh.

59:21

But also like doesn't that like really

59:25

make you feel like the scientists back in the

59:27

day didn't do much. They're like, we got it.

59:30

Here's how we'll do it. We actually miss

59:33

soap with Bleach. That's it. We're

59:35

done for the day. We're clocking out. There's

59:37

your gas. Yeah. It's

59:39

not very sophisticated. Yeah,

59:42

but I also think like Eliza,

59:45

like Francesca is really tough on Elizabeth.

59:48

I think like Elizabeth's a dumb dumb but like she

59:50

does have like good intentions, but Francesca

59:53

just like, like literally she had to stay up late

59:55

working. And then Francesca is like, hey, so we really

59:57

can't have you staying up late work. She was such an

1:00:00

asshole. She was like, oh, well you

1:00:02

need more sleep than that. And she was like, I was

1:00:04

like doing my job, like you asked, getting

1:00:06

old stuff done. Yeah yeah,

1:00:09

and she's it

1:00:12

seems like it's like a core component of being

1:00:14

a chief suit that you have to hate your stues.

1:00:16

Yeah, yeah, there's we you just gotta pick one that's

1:00:19

just like you're bad stew no

1:00:21

matter what. Well, it's just funny because the

1:00:23

chief stew is always always been doing

1:00:25

this for most of a decade, and

1:00:28

the new stew has never um

1:00:31

seen a two forks on the same

1:00:34

table. And then

1:00:36

she's like, if you aren't as good as

1:00:38

me in four days, I'm

1:00:42

going to fire you. That's

1:00:45

like basically what they're up against. Um

1:00:49

we Okay, so we're coming up to a really great Captain

1:00:51

Lee moment, but before we get into it, let's take a quick

1:00:53

break and we'll be right back and we're gonna finish out this

1:00:56

episode and

1:01:03

we're back. So we come

1:01:05

back and the deck crew is inflating

1:01:08

the slide, which is leading Eddie

1:01:10

to lose his mind because they

1:01:12

put it. They basically put the slide up wrong, but

1:01:14

it's like, did anyone teach them how to put the slide up if they've

1:01:16

never done it before? Probably not, So what

1:01:18

are you gonna do? So this leads Eddie to jump

1:01:21

off the boat to grab some lines, and then

1:01:23

Captain Lean's like, if you want anything

1:01:25

done, goddamnit, you a dooy it yourself,

1:01:28

and he like goes over the railing, which causes

1:01:30

everyone to be like freaking out, like, don't do it, I'm

1:01:32

someone else do it. He's like, I got this

1:01:34

guy, damn it. Why guys saw up my ass a

1:01:36

goddamn captain, I've been doing that's goddamn

1:01:39

you, son a bitch. I do it myself.

1:01:41

See how long it took. Goddamnit, this

1:01:43

ribbon drille funk I goddamn

1:01:46

it. I'll just dial go. I didn't

1:01:48

see it didn't take much long. See you guys think

1:01:50

I was an old piece of ship, But guess what, I'm a

1:01:52

young piece of shout. I still got

1:01:55

it. Goddamn it sort of a bitch

1:01:58

that goes on for like forty five minutes. That was amazing.

1:02:02

What get out like an Emmy for Annah. She

1:02:05

has actually been nominated for three

1:02:07

Emmy's, but she um

1:02:10

she denied them after Kaylee Quoco got

1:02:13

like I lost to Kayley Quoka. Now

1:02:15

Kaylee Quoco goddamn

1:02:19

it all he ever says, it's

1:02:21

like all he's like, I was side of a bitch. That

1:02:23

was the most suspenseful part too, because he

1:02:25

had that rib thing at the beginning of the season,

1:02:27

so I was like, Oh, is he going to fund himself

1:02:29

up but doing this? And

1:02:32

then it just went off fine, boring episode.

1:02:34

Sadly he's just climb right back over

1:02:36

after grabbing a line. I mean, it is also true, it's

1:02:38

like I trusted him to do it because he's also been

1:02:40

doing that for years, Like he knows what he's

1:02:43

doing. He's captain. Can we give

1:02:45

Eddie some props for never falling in the

1:02:47

water He almost did multiple times,

1:02:50

I know, but he did it. I was I couldn't

1:02:52

believe he got himself that last time. One

1:02:54

thing I love across the franchise is how everybody

1:02:56

hates putting away the slide more than anything.

1:03:00

Well, I mean that seems only

1:03:03

there was a better idea. It takes

1:03:05

so long, and then people use it like once. Yeah,

1:03:07

and sometimes they don't even want to use it. They're like, no, thank

1:03:10

you, no thank you, we

1:03:12

just wanted to see it. We just wanted to make you

1:03:14

do manual labor. Also, doesn't

1:03:17

it seem like such a distraction to put it down

1:03:19

while people are like having lunch because it goes

1:03:21

down the side and it's such a like thing. All

1:03:24

right, Nick has thought that was the story. I

1:03:26

thought that was going to be what happened, That they were

1:03:28

going to complain that the slide was going down while they

1:03:30

were eating, and then instead they were like, this is

1:03:32

the coolest thing I've ever seen. Yeah,

1:03:35

Like why are these people great? Yeah? They are

1:03:37

actually great. They just are very demanding of what they

1:03:39

want to experience. But also

1:03:42

Nick has a Molly. Nick has a pitchy

1:03:46

boats dot com. Somebody buy that, h

1:03:48

you got a super ya. You don't want to put out all the toys.

1:03:51

It's gonna take you hours. I have a boat,

1:03:53

everything's all set up. I'll just drive over and

1:03:56

they can. I'll park next to you. They can come over, use

1:03:59

all my ship. I just move on to the next.

1:04:01

I do that all day at the same Marina. You're

1:04:03

like a Karney. Wow, really

1:04:06

confusing my shows here, um on,

1:04:10

I'm on Brooks's Brooks Wheeland's podcast

1:04:12

Entry Level with Brooks Wheeland, and we have

1:04:15

been doing a lot of Carney content lately.

1:04:18

We've been trying to find Carney's. Do you know

1:04:20

Carney's Do you know any uh No,

1:04:22

but it's a big theme on Real House Lives

1:04:24

of Dallas. One of them is a

1:04:26

Carney and she's oh no, yes,

1:04:29

I'm familiar with this, but she's not real Karney. She's

1:04:31

a rich Carny. She grew up. No, she's

1:04:34

not a rich I mean she's rich now people.

1:04:37

She grew up among Carney's

1:04:39

and she was like fobbed off on

1:04:41

her Karney grandparents or something

1:04:43

to like. I forget exactly what the

1:04:46

argument against this is. But she's not real.

1:04:48

She has a Carney themed

1:04:50

wedding, yeah, finally,

1:04:53

But no, I don't know any real Carnival people. I

1:04:56

I would that I did. Here's what you

1:04:58

need to know a lot of wizards. That's

1:05:00

the chuckle fucker of the Carney. I

1:05:02

know about lot lizards and chuckle suckers.

1:05:05

All right, but do

1:05:07

I know any Carney's

1:05:10

no, I don't. I'm sorry, okay,

1:05:12

well never again? Any any no? Ride

1:05:15

Jackey's no, but I know someone who knows

1:05:17

Eddie. Isn't that enough for yes? Yes?

1:05:19

Yes, yes, yes, sorry, I'm so sorry? Yes?

1:05:23

Confusing everything here enough?

1:05:25

Nick? Okay. So here's

1:05:28

the first sense that we get that maybe Rob isn't

1:05:30

very good at his job. James is like, I

1:05:32

don't think Rope is taking his job very seriously

1:05:35

because he has Britney spears. Oops, I did it again,

1:05:37

stuck in his head. What an idiot.

1:05:39

He's not good at his job. He's destructed.

1:05:42

And I'm like, that makes him not good at his job. What's

1:05:45

you supposed to be thinking about? I don't

1:05:47

know. Captain Lee's

1:05:50

big old honker. I guesser,

1:05:53

but Dick, I don't know. Well. Rob

1:05:56

also says that Francesco puts out some

1:05:58

pretty hot vibes, but he's hopeless

1:06:00

of flirting because he only knows how to flirt

1:06:02

with gold. He doesn't know how to flirt with human

1:06:04

woman. Is tough. And then he's

1:06:07

like, hey, I'm just wiping

1:06:09

things down if you need anything, and she's

1:06:11

like, okay, little boy, good boy. I

1:06:14

don't know, maybe they'll fuck okay,

1:06:17

period, no thoughts.

1:06:20

Okay. Well, Captain

1:06:22

Lee actually says that he hopes Rachel

1:06:24

makes it through the season doesn't have to be fired,

1:06:27

which I thought was very nice of him. Guys,

1:06:30

I've always no, I think

1:06:32

this was misrett. Oh that's

1:06:34

not a compliment. Why, yeah, great

1:06:38

job. Compliment is

1:06:40

well, I hope we don't gonna fire this piece of ship

1:06:42

work. That's

1:06:46

how he shows love, though, I think, yeah,

1:06:48

because that's that's him being like, I hope I

1:06:50

don't have to fire you. That's like a lot from

1:06:52

Captain Lee, because usually he's like I'll

1:06:54

fire you. You're like, I

1:06:57

guess you're right. I know, I'm sorry. I

1:06:59

had I have much better relationship with my parents

1:07:01

than you, So I see where where

1:07:03

the just to take it where

1:07:06

you can get it. You know. Sometimes when they're

1:07:08

like fuck you, you're like, thank you. I

1:07:11

know you love me. That's why you say

1:07:13

it because you care. They

1:07:16

feel like I'm describing an abusive relationship. Anyway,

1:07:19

Elizabeth calls her dad. Now this

1:07:21

guy is a character. He's like hey,

1:07:24

honey, and she's like, my chief Stuit doesn't

1:07:26

like me, and he's like jeefs still more like beef

1:07:28

Stew. I'm a lawyer

1:07:30

from New York. I'm scary as ship,

1:07:33

hey man, a bunch of chickens running around

1:07:35

with no heads boats

1:07:38

And she's like daddy. It's

1:07:40

a very strange relationship. Also,

1:07:44

how did like the most Like, hey, I

1:07:46

like believe I'm self actualized and I believe

1:07:48

in crystals. Now must come from like

1:07:50

hey, James sto more like beef Stew,

1:07:54

Like how that happened?

1:07:57

Very strange. I really

1:07:59

hope we get to me, chief ste more like

1:08:01

beef Stew. It's just taking me out. Chiefs

1:08:05

stoemre like Babe Stone. And

1:08:08

she say she's

1:08:10

like, now must a daddy? So

1:08:13

strange. Anyway, Elizabeth's

1:08:15

like, I brought a smokey quartz crystal um

1:08:18

to go with us to this beach picnic just in

1:08:20

case to like battle any negative

1:08:23

energy that comes our way. And is He's like,

1:08:25

okay, great, cool cool

1:08:28

coo cool sounds good. Yeah,

1:08:31

Nick, This is the part you were talking about where they're

1:08:33

at the island for the beach picnic

1:08:36

and they're like picking up wood to start a fire

1:08:38

and then like Elizabeth just starts going on about Greek

1:08:40

mythology and she's like, they were like starting a

1:08:43

civilization and that's just like kind

1:08:45

of what we're doing right now by setting up the beach picnic.

1:08:47

And she has her moment where she like stares off, like

1:08:50

we're starting a civilization. What

1:08:53

the funk are you doing? You forgot this champagne?

1:08:55

You've done that? Oh no, civilizations

1:08:58

can't start without champagne. Oh

1:09:01

no. Um.

1:09:03

But also this is another thing, like people

1:09:07

forget something for the beach picnic

1:09:10

almost every time because beach picnics are

1:09:12

not an exact science. You need to bring

1:09:14

a thousand things and there's not a fucking list.

1:09:17

But because the boat is so small, yeah,

1:09:22

champagne on that boat, but they always

1:09:24

The thing is like they always forget the alcohol. And I

1:09:26

feel like the alcohol is the key ingredient to

1:09:29

why people are even on this boat. So like, bring

1:09:31

the alcohol, for sure, but it's also the

1:09:33

thing you have to bring last, because

1:09:36

it's usually a cocktail or something that needs to

1:09:38

be chilled and so you cannot

1:09:40

pack it anywhere but last.

1:09:42

And I feel like often is that they go through it

1:09:45

much faster than they're expecting or go

1:09:47

through more of it. Well, I don't think

1:09:49

they brought any in this one. Yeah, yeah,

1:09:51

but there's been other ones where it's like they just run out.

1:09:53

You know, you only brought three bottles of

1:09:56

vodka for these

1:09:58

four people for thirty five. Then it's

1:10:00

on the beach right, like they need a separate boat

1:10:02

just full of alcohol for these people.

1:10:05

Hey, that maybe a spin off of my business

1:10:07

alcohol boat. Nice, you're

1:10:10

on the beach picnic. You don't want to go all the way back?

1:10:12

Guess caught me up. It's like provisions.

1:10:14

Basically, it's a great idea. Thank

1:10:17

you. Finally, it's like on the clock

1:10:19

provisions. They just show up. But yeah,

1:10:23

so um yeah, they set up the

1:10:25

beach picnic. Other than the fact that they forgot

1:10:28

the champagne. But they also have homemade

1:10:30

marshmallows. What what

1:10:33

are marsh pure sugar? So

1:10:36

Natty says when he tries it right, Well,

1:10:38

it wasn't that Captain that was Captain Lee. But

1:10:41

Captain Lee, I'm guessing he has like some

1:10:44

low carb diet or something. Well, Captain Lee

1:10:46

said he was going to look up to make it himself because

1:10:48

he didn't know if Rachel was coming back, and his plan was,

1:10:50

I guess to pretend to be the chef. I

1:10:53

don't know, I don't know, flip

1:10:56

some burger patties. That's just going to cook a

1:10:58

steak with his big old dick. Yeah

1:11:02

I burned it again. Yeah,

1:11:07

well yeah, Elizabeth forgot the champagne

1:11:10

and is He's like, yeah, you know, I agree that Francesca

1:11:12

sucks as a boss, but um, Elizabeth

1:11:15

is not the smartest. I'm like, honey,

1:11:19

I agree. But Francesca

1:11:21

is not happy they forgot the champagne, and

1:11:23

her first thing is to go rat Elizabeth out about

1:11:25

forgetting the champagne and other stuff to Captain Lee

1:11:28

because she really wants to fire Elizabeth and get in

1:11:30

a new Chiefs too. And Captain Lee's like whatever,

1:11:34

It's like, okay, cool,

1:11:36

thanks Francesca, you can go now, Oh my

1:11:39

god, this dumb bitch, did you can?

1:11:41

She is not Kate, That's all Capainly

1:11:43

is thinking. She is not Kate. I mean,

1:11:45

she really is not Kate. How

1:11:47

many times do you think he's called her Kate that

1:11:51

they've edited out? That

1:11:53

would be hilarious. It would explain why

1:11:55

Francesca is starting to like lose it a little. Look.

1:11:57

She keeps getting called Kate. She can't

1:11:59

try to anyone h

1:12:02

and Elizabeth is just trying her best and being

1:12:05

like destroyed because she's a

1:12:07

dumb dumb. So Ash also

1:12:09

becomes frustrated with Elizabeth because

1:12:11

she washed all the bedsheets for the guests, because

1:12:13

that's what a little like

1:12:17

she did. I did say that she washed. She

1:12:19

washed all the bed sheets because Elizabeth

1:12:21

told her too, but Francesco apparently just told

1:12:23

her to the master's bed sheets, which we

1:12:26

see in a flashback. So

1:12:28

Ash is like, um, I

1:12:31

really want to like Elizabeth, but she's a dumb

1:12:33

dumb that's what everyone keeps saying. Tough,

1:12:37

and then she says Elizabeth just doesn't

1:12:39

listen, and I agree, that's the problem.

1:12:41

She's not hearing words. I think she just

1:12:43

hears like um and

1:12:46

nothing else. Yeah, that's like sometimes

1:12:49

me when I'm doing this podcast, I get

1:12:51

that vibe from you. Anyway, Ashton, Francesca

1:12:54

take a break while Elizabeth and the rest

1:12:56

of the guests are on the beach. They take

1:12:58

a break and they go down the slide. I'd um

1:13:01

to have some fun because Francesca loves

1:13:03

ash who's basically a mini her, asked

1:13:05

Francesca keeps saying, and

1:13:07

then James is trouble.

1:13:10

Always no

1:13:13

one can ever go in the water without there being drama,

1:13:15

whether they accidentally go in, whether

1:13:17

they're going in with permission, whether

1:13:19

they're just rocky being like, whether there's

1:13:21

c J announcing they're they're quitting

1:13:24

in the first season, there's

1:13:26

never No one's ever just like having fun in

1:13:28

the water. I don't know if everyone just gets

1:13:30

jealous, that's the problem. I was like, Oh,

1:13:32

you guys go on the water. It's

1:13:34

like, well, then be proactive. And when the guests are off

1:13:36

board and you're not, they're asked to go in the water.

1:13:38

You just have to ask. Cathleen does not

1:13:41

care if the guests are not there. He will let you

1:13:43

take a break and go in the water. He does not care

1:13:46

all you do. That's the whole thing is, you can't just go in. As

1:13:48

long as you ask, it's no big deal

1:13:50

and you are free and clear to take a

1:13:52

break and jump in the water. But no

1:13:54

one does, and that's the problem. Then

1:13:57

they get jealous when someone else does, and they're like, oh,

1:13:59

what do they get to do everything? But anyway,

1:14:01

James says, he hopes they're closed or see through because

1:14:04

classic James. Uh.

1:14:06

And then we end with Elizabeth admitting she's

1:14:08

not happy because Francesca clearly

1:14:10

favors Ash. But Eddie's

1:14:12

like, don't worry, dude, Captain Sandy or Captain

1:14:15

Lee is rooting for you. And she's like, oh my

1:14:17

god, thank you Eddie. And he's like and

1:14:21

that's where the episode ends, and

1:14:24

it's time for Boat

1:14:26

Facts with Nikkei Tease. Guys,

1:14:31

I wanted to talk to you today about

1:14:35

the most haunted hotel

1:14:38

in America. Why is it on boat

1:14:40

Facts, you asked, Yez, because

1:14:43

it's a fucking boat the

1:14:47

Queen Mary. Oh.

1:14:49

It was a ship that was converted into a hotel

1:14:51

and permanently docked in Long Beach, California,

1:14:55

right near here, baby, and is

1:14:57

as stately as they come. But don't

1:14:59

let it's lush appearance fool you. It also

1:15:02

happens to be the most haunted

1:15:04

hotel in America. The

1:15:07

ship was first christened on September

1:15:10

nineteen thirty four by Queen Mary herself,

1:15:13

and it was retired more than three decades later,

1:15:15

and it has since been converted into a hotel where

1:15:17

guests can sleep surrounded by the original wood

1:15:19

paneling paneling and portholes, imagining

1:15:22

what it would have been like to cross the Atlantic

1:15:24

in style. Not only

1:15:26

does it offer a transatlantic history, but

1:15:28

it is known as one of the most haunted destinations

1:15:31

in America, says Travel

1:15:33

and Leisure Um,

1:15:36

mostly from

1:15:38

stateroom B three. Why

1:15:41

what happened in there? This stateroom

1:15:44

was a problem long before the Queen Mary

1:15:46

opened a hotel in a

1:15:49

British third class passenger third

1:15:51

class? Can you imagine Walter j

1:15:54

Adamson passed away in the room

1:15:56

and the details of his death are unknown

1:16:00

to her. In nineteen sixty six, a woman staying

1:16:02

in the room reported that she was woken up when

1:16:04

the bed covers were pulled off of her and she

1:16:06

saw a man staring standing at the foot

1:16:08

of her bed. She screamed and rang

1:16:10

for the steward, but the man apparently vanished

1:16:13

into thin air. So this woman

1:16:15

was like assaulted by

1:16:18

a real person, you think so. Years

1:16:21

later, guests staying in the room and reported hearing someone

1:16:24

knocking on the door in the middle of the night and

1:16:26

seeing bathroom lights mysteriously turn

1:16:28

on. Even the hotel's maids started complaining

1:16:30

that they would find the bathroom water running even

1:16:33

when no one had stayed in the room for days, and

1:16:35

one reported that the bed covers were pulled off

1:16:37

right after she put them on. The room

1:16:39

was closed to guests for many years, but it

1:16:41

has since reopened for anyone looking for an

1:16:44

evening of creepy fun. We can go there, No,

1:16:46

thank you, we can stay there. We

1:16:48

can do an a of decades from there. No.

1:16:53

Are you afraid of ghosts? I'm not doing that

1:16:55

with you. You're afraid of ghosts. I'm

1:16:57

afraid of anything haunted. Yes, I'm a human

1:16:59

being. Oh, I'm not afraid of haunted

1:17:02

stuff. Yeah, we'll see I

1:17:05

laugh at ghosts. Well, we'll see what a

1:17:07

ghost is looking you stray in the phase? How you

1:17:09

act? Okay, they

1:17:11

don't exist there.

1:17:14

Molly, are you haunted? I mean, Molly,

1:17:17

are you haunted? Are you afraid

1:17:19

of haunted stuff? Oh? Yeah,

1:17:22

I mean a haunted boat just seems like really

1:17:24

asking for it. Yeah. Yeah, you

1:17:26

can't leave the boat. Well, I

1:17:28

mean you can't now because stopped. If

1:17:31

you know, if you're on the sea and it's haunted,

1:17:34

you know, you're just fucked. Yeah,

1:17:36

you know. Engineer Zach had

1:17:38

his prom on the Queen Mary.

1:17:40

Oh really in Long beach.

1:17:43

That's crazy, hauntingly beautiful.

1:17:46

I would ask him, but he just walked right out of the room.

1:17:50

He's like, oh, I know where this is

1:17:52

going. I'm out of here. I don't

1:17:54

want to talk about my prom where I couldn't

1:17:56

get it up because it was

1:17:59

so high Dick hunted. Yeah, that's

1:18:02

unfortunate. Yeah,

1:18:05

well that has been a great episode

1:18:07

of folk Facts. Thanks

1:18:10

that much for having me. Thank you for

1:18:12

recapping season eight, episode eight with us

1:18:15

of below deck Tell people where they

1:18:17

can find you and follow you. You can find

1:18:19

me on Twitter at Molly Lambert. And

1:18:21

I will be back with a

1:18:23

podcast about Heidi Flice. Maybe

1:18:27

I'll be back on Deckheads sometime because I love

1:18:30

I love talking deck You're going to

1:18:32

be a regular, as we say,

1:18:35

I can be the chef band of this podcast.

1:18:39

Be great, that would be great. I mean

1:18:41

if we don't have you on for a little while, then you come back and be like

1:18:43

gotta get my sea legs back and we're like, ah,

1:18:46

Molly, and I'm like, I hate

1:18:48

my fucking life like they all do.

1:18:51

Yeah, but you were you were raised

1:18:53

with the royal family, right, I

1:18:56

was raised with the royal family. But

1:18:58

I resent when people bring up my passionists

1:19:00

because because

1:19:02

I'm a hard working chef, hardworking

1:19:05

yacht chef of course. Of course. Al

1:19:07

Right, guys, go follow Molly and and hey,

1:19:10

you know what, Hey, while you're at it, leave us a five

1:19:12

star review while you're following my Molly,

1:19:16

Jesus Christ, Yeah, leave

1:19:18

us a five star of you. I just like had a momentary

1:19:21

blip in my brain. It must be the

1:19:24

mustard gas I accidentally created my home. So

1:19:27

yes, please leave us a five star review. We

1:19:29

could, we could really use it. People are haters

1:19:31

on there. They hate us because they don't think we talked about below

1:19:34

deck enough, even though I feel like we're recapping it

1:19:36

pretty decently. So leave us a five

1:19:38

star review. Give us some love. We'd really appreciate

1:19:40

it. You can follow us at deckheads Pod

1:19:42

on Instagram and Twitter. Email

1:19:44

us at deckheads pot at gmail dot com. You

1:19:48

can buy our merch on t public. We'll

1:19:50

discuss further merch options coming through

1:19:53

on this show. Once Nick starts

1:19:55

his starts making them in his garage, and

1:19:58

I'm at Anna HOSTI and Nick is at Nick's

1:20:00

turners, and yeah, let's all

1:20:02

get into this tiny little bow. Let's get

1:20:05

in the Little Dingy and We're Gonna get the hell

1:20:07

on out of Here by Deckheads

1:20:18

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