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been almost three years

1:32

now just us trying to put together these

1:35

trying to put together

1:37

these so and it's episodes or

1:39

so and life been of

1:41

got just a ton of work. bit but

1:43

I'm really happy of got in the way

1:45

a bit, but I'm really happy with

1:47

the way we closed out each group. on

1:49

Twitch be getting together on

1:51

Twitch. 4th at 2 p.m. Eastern we want

1:54

to get 2 p

1:56

.m. as We want

1:58

to get together

2:01

as many people

2:03

as we can

2:05

as many of day.

2:08

chat as possible. Us in the

2:10

cast, you're just going to sit

2:12

there and talk about the arc,

2:15

talk about what actually happened, what

2:17

could have been, what got left

2:19

on the cutting room floor, things

2:22

that changed throughout recording three years

2:24

as a hell of a lot

2:26

of time. So yeah, we got

2:29

a ton of talk about and

2:31

maybe most importantly, what's next for

2:33

the show? Thanks to your feedback,

2:36

thanks to you guys sending in

2:38

surveys and letting us know what

2:40

direction we should head in. We

2:42

have a really... clear idea of

2:45

what we want to do. So

2:47

I hope you guys can join

2:49

us there on Twitch Saturday, January

2:52

4th, 2 p.m. Eastern at twitch.

2:54

TV slash D-A-N-D-R podcast. Hopefully see

2:56

you there and enjoy the very

2:59

last episode of arc five. thing

3:01

where we go around the table

3:03

and introduce ourselves one last time

3:06

for forsaken. I'm Jason. I'm the

3:08

dungeon master going around the table

3:10

starting with Zachary. What's up? My

3:13

name is Zachary and I play

3:15

Blevins Elmar Rutherford the bardlock still

3:17

and Karen. Hi, I'm Karen and

3:20

I'm Karen and I play Josephine

3:22

the human cleric. And

3:25

Jamie? Hello, I am Jamie.

3:27

I played Tatiana in the

3:29

human robe. I don't think

3:31

your microphone's picking you up

3:33

anymore. Me? Oh no. Trying

3:36

very close to your microphone.

3:38

I'm very close to my

3:40

microphone. Yeah, it's not picking

3:42

you up. That's a different...

3:45

It's a different microphone. What

3:47

happened? I didn't touch anything.

3:49

I swear to that. No,

3:51

no, no. No, what's... Hey,

3:53

hey, hey, we're all friends.

3:56

This isn't an accusation. It's

3:58

okay. It's okay. I'm curious,

4:00

I'm furious about it. Don't

4:02

listen to him. He's lost

4:05

and feelings of murder. It's

4:07

fun. You guys hear too,

4:09

right? Like it doesn't feel

4:11

like that's the, okay. Okay.

4:13

But I like how you

4:16

approached it. That was like

4:18

a patrol cop who caught

4:20

like a kid with like

4:22

some weed. Hey, hey, hey,

4:25

hey, hey. It's all right.

4:27

Just call your parents. Oh,

4:29

yeah. Oh, oh, hey. You

4:31

don't need a lawyer. Let's

4:34

not talk about Miranda rights

4:36

right now. Okay. Sound any

4:38

better? Oh, yeah. Sound any

4:40

better? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

4:42

Sound any better? Oh, yeah.

4:45

Sound any better? Oh, yeah.

4:47

Sound great. Oh, I guess

4:49

sound great. I don't know

4:51

what you did to sabotage

4:54

the first recording, but the

4:56

second one's great. It was

4:58

definitely my fault. I'm Jamie.

5:00

I played Tatiana, the human

5:02

rogue. Oh man, so she's

5:05

yelling at us. Okay, well,

5:07

I... Not to mean your

5:09

personal file. And Jameson? Hi,

5:11

I'm Jameson. Uh, uh, uh,

5:14

I was said, um, Lark,

5:16

I'm Foculus Honeyhugs, the gnome

5:18

vampire shadow sorcerer. Oh man.

5:20

Um, oh my. So... Today,

5:25

you're going to be attempting

5:27

something that hasn't been done

5:30

in many years on the

5:32

show. Now, you're going to

5:34

be using the Bell Effect,

5:37

the ritual, to try and

5:39

cleanse Donhurst of all these

5:41

awful undead creatures except for

5:44

present company. They'll be fine

5:46

in that ritual zone. But

5:49

everything else. is going to

5:51

be eradicated up to and

5:53

including a mile. So we

5:56

We've sussed all this out.

5:58

We know this, right? I'm

6:01

guessing. I don't want to

6:03

put gloom over this, but

6:05

is there a sense of

6:08

finality, I guess, to any

6:10

of your kids? Is there

6:12

a sense of like, oh,

6:15

we could die doing this,

6:17

or is it? Because you

6:20

seemed really hesitant. to try

6:22

and take a stab at

6:24

it. I mean... Jamie, please

6:27

go right ahead. I was

6:29

just calling Karen out. That's

6:31

all. Oh, I actually just

6:34

didn't hear you. I'm so

6:36

sorry. You've had time to

6:39

adapt. Anticipate my needs. 32

6:41

years, okay? No, not that

6:43

long. 27 years, I forgot

6:46

how old I was. Anyways.

6:48

I mean, I just, I

6:50

don't know, like, I, Josephine

6:53

would have done it. either

6:55

way, but then, you know,

6:58

fun calculus was all like,

7:00

I don't know, we don't

7:02

know all this stuff. So

7:05

then I'm maybe super hesitant,

7:07

but then it's like, we

7:09

should probably do it. Anyways.

7:12

I don't remember that how,

7:14

I don't remember that being

7:17

how the dialogue went. I,

7:19

I, I, I, I, I

7:21

remember it being, yeah. I

7:24

was just going to say,

7:26

as you know, a previous

7:29

participant in the ritual. I

7:31

think Tatiana is probably more

7:33

anxious than anything else because

7:36

she sort of knows what's

7:38

coming, but does it because

7:40

it is different... circumstances, but

7:43

whatever it is, is going

7:45

to be fucking bad. So...

7:48

Yeah, I went back and

7:50

I listened to the episode

7:52

with the ritual and I

7:55

thought, oh man, wouldn't it

7:57

be cool if beat for

7:59

beat? We recreated it. However,

8:02

there are new gods and

8:04

and stuff and I feel

8:07

as though it would... be

8:09

a bit different. So I

8:11

went ahead and I created

8:14

an entirely new experience for

8:16

you guys. Oh fun. Oh,

8:18

it's going to be sad.

8:21

No idea what's about to

8:23

happen. That really helps the

8:26

anxiety, I think. Good. Did

8:28

you go back and listen

8:30

to the old episode? I

8:33

didn't know. I don't know.

8:35

I don't know that sort

8:37

of time. But I don't

8:40

really remember what happened. I'm

8:42

just like imagining, like, Tachian

8:45

is like anticipating what's happening

8:47

and then like the first

8:49

time something is different. She's

8:52

gonna freak. Like, what the

8:54

fuck is that? Well, that's

8:57

gonna happen really early on.

8:59

I'm just gonna prep. Very

9:01

early on. We know which

9:04

God we're dealing with when

9:06

we do this ritual, which

9:08

one we're bequeathing to? I

9:11

mean, I don't even know

9:13

if the I'm not gonna

9:16

say anything. Why? Why? Why

9:18

not? was even going to

9:20

work because Vecna doesn't exist

9:23

anymore. So like, is this

9:25

just a bell now? Like,

9:27

I don't know. Well, it's

9:30

like under new management. It's,

9:32

it's, there's still, so there's

9:35

still, it's still a holy

9:37

relic. There's still magic coursing

9:39

through it. And it's not

9:42

like there isn't God of

9:44

death. It's just, uh, different

9:46

vibes. Yeah. It's okay to

9:49

sit and drive through for

9:51

20 minutes, you know. McDonald's

9:54

I've ever went to in

9:56

the last five years, they've

9:58

never had food cooked. I

10:01

have to wait for them

10:03

to cook the food, which

10:06

seems to, it's like I

10:08

don't come here for the

10:10

food. It's the quick. That's

10:13

what I come here for.

10:15

It's the fast part of

10:17

fast food that I'm looking

10:20

for. There's no more dollar

10:22

menu, like it's all very,

10:25

it's sad. and Elizabeth Hurley

10:27

still holds up. It's fine.

10:29

It's great. And to prove

10:32

that she's the devil, he

10:34

asks her, it's like, okay,

10:36

well then I want a

10:39

Big Mac and a Coke

10:41

and they drive to McDonald's

10:44

and she orders a Big

10:46

Mac and a Coke and

10:48

the guy behind the counter

10:51

says that will be 304.

10:53

And that made this comedy

10:55

so much more a tragedy

10:58

because He

11:00

acted like that

11:02

was a it's

11:04

like wow really

11:06

the prices went

11:08

up. It's like

11:10

oh Brandon like

11:12

Oh, sweetie Anywho

11:14

That means nothing

11:16

really neither here

11:18

nor there. I'm

11:20

gonna get ready

11:22

and drop you

11:24

into this church

11:26

And we're gonna

11:28

we're gonna get

11:30

ready and do

11:32

some stuff here

11:34

Now you should

11:36

see nothing. Yes.

11:38

Okay. X. I

11:40

think this is

11:42

Donhurst Temple in

11:44

parentheses, last stand.

11:46

Very dramatic. Yeah.

11:48

Now those of

11:50

you with Dark

11:52

Vision should be

11:54

able to see

11:56

something. And we're

11:58

going to. We're

12:03

going to assume that you

12:05

know the setup for this

12:07

ritual, right? That you're, you're,

12:10

it's like, okay, so reading

12:12

the book for, okay, this,

12:14

this, and this, and then

12:16

I'm going to explain the

12:19

mechanics to you. You will

12:21

be fighting tonight. You just

12:23

will. Unless you have the

12:25

best roles of your life,

12:28

Karen. It's

12:32

going to be so

12:34

good guys. I'm assuming you're

12:37

taking the lead in

12:39

terms of the holy ritual

12:41

here. I'm assuming I'd

12:43

be wrong. I can't

12:45

read any of it, but

12:48

if somebody tells me

12:50

what to do, I'll do

12:52

it. Yeah. Like, what

12:54

we're assuming read, I think

12:57

the back half we decided

12:59

on, so he'll be

13:01

your guide for that. But

13:04

we did also translate

13:06

the first bit into dwarvin.

13:08

And we found a work.

13:11

We're assuming. We're assuming.

13:13

Okay. So, okay. Nice to

13:15

speak Elvish, it's fine.

13:17

Yeah, well, yeah, but no,

13:20

the funkulus. Funkulus had, uh,

13:22

had dwarf and ties,

13:24

I believe. I had nomish,

13:27

which we decided was

13:29

like every third word, like

13:32

compatible. Yes, that's right. Yeah,

13:34

yeah, yeah. It's like

13:36

I took a semester of...

13:39

Yeah, okay, yeah, that's

13:41

kind of... It's like I

13:43

speak Spanish, so I can

13:46

kind of understand Italian

13:48

a little bit. Yeah. I

13:50

get the five. I

13:52

get the... Oh no. Oh

13:55

no. Oh no. Oh no.

13:57

You should not move

13:59

at all or jump. I

14:02

don't, I don't know,

14:04

but it's very important. underlined.

14:06

Okay. As you walk into

14:09

this church with that

14:11

relic and you you approach

14:13

the center of this

14:15

place because that your it's

14:18

like, okay, well, fuck, this

14:20

is the most defensible

14:22

portion of this church, right?

14:25

One by one. This

14:27

place is going to

14:29

light up these candle lovers

14:31

are going to kind

14:33

of come to life and

14:36

shine light on this

14:38

place. Just, just, it's going

14:40

to, this place is going

14:43

to look alive. Would

14:45

you do me a favor?

14:47

Care. I, I, I

14:49

need, I need, so, okay,

14:52

here's, I, I need, I

14:54

need, so, okay, here's

14:56

how this is going to

14:59

work. Throughout this ritual,

15:01

things are going to happen.

15:03

And these things are based

15:06

on your roles. It's

15:08

not just going to be

15:10

on you. You're responsible

15:12

for successfully pulling off this

15:15

ritual. And tonight, we're looking

15:17

for seven successes before

15:19

four failures. Seems

15:24

very reasonable currently. We'll see

15:26

how that feels three or

15:29

four rolls in. But everyone

15:31

else, there's a mechanic where

15:34

everyone else is going to

15:36

be in charge of the

15:38

luck of the party. Oh.

15:41

You'll see how that works

15:43

in a moment. If I

15:46

may ask, would it be

15:48

a thing like each fail

15:50

bring some baddies in or

15:53

at four we? do a

15:55

few prayers before hell breaks

15:58

loose. Well, of course, it

16:00

would box the child because

16:02

I just got to find

16:05

out. Well, it depends on

16:07

how far you are into

16:10

the ritual, right? Because at

16:12

first, it's not going to

16:14

be so bad. You know,

16:17

it's kind of, it's kind

16:19

of just getting started. It's

16:22

got to warm up, but...

16:26

Obviously the longer this goes

16:28

on the worst it's going

16:30

to get like it's going

16:32

to be the stakes will

16:34

get higher I guess is

16:36

what I should say vampires

16:39

are like oh there's lights

16:41

on down there let's go

16:43

find out vampires are like

16:45

oh they're just looking through

16:47

like open cracks and stuff

16:49

and then to they start

16:52

walking in like get what's

16:54

going on well it's not

16:56

just that you using this

16:58

bell poorly We'll have consequences

17:00

outside of the vampires, but

17:02

we'll get into it. We'll

17:04

get into it. So here's

17:07

the thing. Karen, when you're

17:09

ready, I need Josephine to

17:11

give me a religion roll,

17:13

please. Just to get started,

17:15

and it's low. We're looking

17:17

for a 10. Now that's

17:20

a really reasonable number. Oh

17:22

my god. It's fine.

17:24

I mean it. That's good.

17:27

Skinnier too. Shit. Okay,

17:29

that's a 10, everybody at

17:32

home. So we're going

17:34

to just restat my

17:36

character real quick. Let's just

17:38

re-stat my character real

17:40

quick. Let's just re-roll. Yeah.

17:43

That's one success. One

17:45

success? No failures. You're going

17:47

to start to channel energy

17:50

into this. Now the

17:52

good news is, you don't...

17:54

have to just stand

17:56

here. You, the ritual keeps

17:59

going as long as you

18:01

aren't knocked out. If

18:03

you're knocked out, every time

18:06

I have to call

18:08

on you and you're not

18:10

conscious, that's a failure. Okay.

18:13

You don't want that,

18:15

but it keeps going. Now,

18:17

imagine Trent is on

18:19

the sidelines and he's holding

18:22

a big fucking crossbow and

18:24

he's gonna try and

18:26

shoot at something if it

18:29

attacks you. But other

18:31

than that. Transil lover, not

18:33

a fighter. We all know

18:36

that. So... He's gonna

18:38

be to the side. Can

18:40

everyone see what's happening

18:42

here? Yes. Yes. Okay, good.

18:45

I need a volunteer for

18:47

our first luck rolled.

18:49

So, every time I ask

18:52

one of you to

18:54

roll for your luck, something

18:56

good is going to happen

18:59

based on your role,

19:01

right? The higher the role,

19:03

the better. And then

19:05

I, as acting for the

19:08

ritual, I'm going to try

19:10

and negate that with

19:12

my own role. And you'll

19:15

see it active on

19:17

the board. You'll understand as

19:19

soon as it happens. Jamison,

19:22

give me a flat

19:24

D20, please. 17

19:28

17 So the

19:30

center of this

19:32

this church is

19:34

going to light

19:36

up and that

19:38

is holy light

19:40

coming off that

19:42

you can feel

19:44

it radiating not

19:46

in a burning

19:48

of empire skin

19:50

kind of way,

19:52

but you could

19:55

tell that's bolstering

19:57

you so every

20:00

one of you are going

20:02

to get inspiration right now.

20:05

And as you're channeling energy

20:07

into this bell, it is

20:10

going to funnel and then

20:12

kind of pour into the

20:15

ceiling of this church into

20:17

the steeple and just sort

20:19

of start emanating out. And

20:22

it's kind of casting this

20:24

net in a mile, it's

20:27

going to extend out a

20:29

mile and then just kind

20:32

of crush. any undead creatures

20:34

that are out there as

20:36

long as you do a

20:39

good job. Karen I need

20:41

another I need another religion

20:44

role please. And this time

20:46

I needed to be a

20:49

12. Every two we're going

20:51

to change over though we're

20:53

going to give we're going

20:56

to ask for another kind

20:58

of role. Don't worry. Okay,

21:01

thank God. Not what you

21:03

want to see. Uh, okay.

21:06

It's fine. It's great. Oh.

21:08

I just saw there's a

21:11

little squid on the table.

21:13

Sorry. Random. Too sorry. Random.

21:15

So, that's a six. That's

21:18

going to fall well short

21:20

of what we asked for.

21:23

And you're going to. Essentially,

21:26

this bell's gonna like

21:28

shake as you, it's

21:31

like, it's like, it's

21:33

like a, it's like

21:35

a, like a, a

21:38

QTE and you hit

21:40

the wrong button, it's

21:42

like, oh, and you're

21:45

gonna hear this hissy

21:47

skitter outside, just kind

21:50

of, and through the

21:52

cracks in this building,

21:54

you're going to see

21:57

two. Well, they. They're

21:59

in the shape of

22:02

spiders, but they are

22:04

definitely fiends. They're demoral.

22:06

in nature. And these

22:09

kind of slipped through

22:11

the veil of hell

22:13

as a result of

22:16

this. So these things

22:18

are going to enter

22:21

the church slowly and

22:23

attack you guys. That's

22:25

just gonna happen. Oh

22:28

gosh. Okay. This is

22:30

gonna happen. All right,

22:32

don't worry guys. Your

22:35

tank has got this.

22:37

Well, speaking of roles,

22:40

I just feel, I

22:42

just realized we have

22:44

the same religion score,

22:47

or like the same

22:49

religion skill level of

22:51

plus one. Pleasant has

22:54

nine intelligence. Joe, Joe

22:56

isn't, isn't a real

22:59

churchy kind of. You're

23:01

in church fighters. Mm-hmm.

23:03

Mm-hmm. Crying bits. Yeah.

23:06

I also just didn't.

23:08

Just like school, though,

23:11

like you just blow

23:13

off a class, like

23:15

rituals 101, then years

23:18

later you're in this

23:20

situation. Ooh. Shit. Should

23:22

have listened to that

23:25

teacher. Can I

23:27

get everybody to roll initiative

23:29

for me, please? Mm-hmm. Karen,

23:32

every time it's your turn,

23:34

I'm going to ask for

23:36

another role for this ritual.

23:39

Okay. Now, the good news

23:41

is, we're moving on from

23:43

religion. We're going to be

23:46

asking for a different skill

23:48

this time. It won't let

23:50

me roll initiative because there

23:53

was no combat encounter. I'm

23:55

a douche. I'm so sorry.

23:57

Okay. Shit. You guys didn't

24:00

need me right? I'm just

24:02

going to be over here

24:04

hiding from this whole radiance.

24:07

Again, it's okay. Okay, it's

24:09

just bright. It's not here.

24:11

In principle, he doesn't like

24:14

it. No, that's fair. Uh,

24:16

Karen, I'm going to need

24:18

you to add yourself to

24:21

the combat tracker if you

24:23

don't. I thought it rolled.

24:25

Not? Oh, I'm sorry. You're

24:28

fine. Tatiana, you

24:30

are up. Oh, okay. I'm

24:32

gonna, I'm gonna try to

24:34

shoot one of these demon

24:36

feed spiders. Tatiana is going

24:38

to, here, sorry, I was

24:40

looking for something. I didn't,

24:43

I knew I was gonna

24:45

be first, but I wasn't,

24:47

I wasn't ready to be

24:49

first, and I appreciate that

24:51

there is no timer. No,

24:53

no, no, no. I feel

24:55

like that would be. Okay.

25:00

Well, we

25:04

don't love,

25:08

that's not

25:12

a great

25:15

start. It's

25:19

all I

25:23

got. Demonfied

25:28

spider! They're pain! Man,

25:30

how far can these

25:33

things crawl? Uh, shit,

25:35

yeah, 40, because they're

25:38

spiders, that makes sense,

25:40

that adds up, that's

25:43

fine. I just realized,

25:45

let's make the grid

25:48

a bit more opaque,

25:50

because there's already, there

25:53

you go, yeah, because

25:55

there's already, there you

25:58

go, yeah, because there

26:00

was already like a

26:03

grid to the floor,

26:05

and it was confusing.

26:08

Hmm. Oh, I see.

26:10

Yeah. I'm gonna bite.

26:13

Let's bite Tatiana for

26:15

shooting. Okay. I'm gonna

26:18

bite. I'm gonna bite.

26:21

I'm gonna bite. I'm

26:23

gonna bite. I'm gonna

26:26

bite. Let's bite Tatiana

26:28

for shooting, right? Yeah.

26:31

Yeah, he rolled a

26:33

10. Okay. Let's do

26:36

it hit me God,

26:38

okay. Uh-huh? Fucking Max

26:41

damage 13 damage I

26:43

hate spiders. Sadly, there's

26:46

a second bit The

26:48

target must make a

26:51

DC-14 constitution saving through

26:53

on a failed save

26:56

the target takes 68

26:58

poison damage. Okay. Holy

27:01

fuck. That's a lot.

27:03

It is. They are

27:06

demons fighters. We're looking

27:08

for 14. Constitution. Come

27:11

on. Constitution. You sure

27:14

you don't want decks?

27:16

Are you sure? Hey

27:19

18. You're fine. Blevins,

27:22

you got a spider

27:25

next to you.

27:27

You're gonna pet him?

27:30

Never a spider. Is

27:32

there a way to

27:35

pop out this character

27:38

sheet? Sorry. No, sorry.

27:40

No problem. I wish.

27:43

Curious. So, uh, I

27:46

think Blevins is going

27:48

to... Oh, man. He's

27:52

going to just take

27:55

two swipes at it

27:57

with his rapier. That's

28:01

fine, Cole. Here we

28:03

go. You get a

28:05

plus, too, because you're

28:07

standing next to... 13's

28:09

gonna miss. You get

28:11

one more, though. Oh,

28:14

20 will hit. Nice.

28:16

11 damage to the

28:18

spider. And, uh, using,

28:20

uh, Blevin's feet mobile,

28:22

he will back away

28:24

from the spider without

28:27

an opportunity attack. And

28:30

he wants to go

28:32

kind of near the

28:34

corner, the bottom left

28:36

corner. Okay. Joseph in,

28:38

um, sorry, one more

28:40

thing. Shit, no, I'm

28:42

so sorry. I just

28:44

want to cast a

28:46

bardic inspiration on Tatiana.

28:48

Hmm. What's your, what's

28:50

your bardic die? D-I-M-L-10,

28:52

I believe it is.

28:54

I believe it tells

28:56

me when I roll

28:59

it. One-D-10? Holy shit.

29:01

At this level? Yes.

29:03

I didn't know how

29:05

many levels you put

29:07

into BART. Actually, I'm

29:09

actually full-barred now. I

29:11

forgot. Oh, yeah, that's

29:13

D-10 than shit. Well,

29:15

okay. That's a girthy

29:17

die. All right. Josephine,

29:19

before you do anything,

29:21

I need you. Yeah,

29:23

give me an Arcona

29:25

check, please. Oh God,

29:27

that's not even any

29:29

better. I don't know

29:31

a year. I don't

29:33

make the words to

29:35

go to. That's my

29:37

fault. It's okay. Fine.

29:39

You're looking for 12

29:42

or higher. Oh my

29:44

god. That's a 17.

29:46

That's two successes versus

29:48

one failure. You're killing

29:50

it. Killing it. You

29:52

got this. Great job.

29:54

You know what that

29:56

means? That means. that

29:58

the good luck die

30:00

in the center gets

30:02

another role and we

30:04

get to see something

30:06

else happen. Can you

30:08

give me a D20

30:10

please? The higher the

30:12

better. Only good things

30:14

can happen. Oh well,

30:16

only good things though.

30:18

Only good things. Only

30:20

good things. That's that's

30:22

true. Only good things.

30:27

The next person to

30:29

attack gets a plus

30:32

two to their role.

30:34

Oh, there you go.

30:36

Yeah, that's good. All

30:39

right. Okay. So I'm

30:41

going to attack. I

30:43

gotta, I'm gonna do

30:46

an oldie but a

30:48

goodie. I'm gonna make

30:50

some lightning guys. Where

30:53

is? this thing. Oh,

30:55

here it is. The

30:57

big, the big mouth.

31:00

So I'm gonna do

31:02

it on the one

31:04

down in the corner

31:07

that's not near anybody.

31:09

Okay. And it needs

31:11

to. Oh, God. Well,

31:14

so this is just

31:16

like, should I still

31:18

place the token or

31:21

it's gonna cover the

31:23

whole thing? Yeah,

31:27

yeah, you could turn

31:29

the whole thing purple.

31:32

But it's gonna feel

31:35

good. Okay, sure. Yeah.

31:37

So the whole church

31:40

goes up in flames,

31:43

like. Purple flames. These

31:45

clouds are gonna start

31:48

like forming on the

31:51

ceiling and I'm gonna,

31:53

she's gonna point at

31:56

that guy in the

31:59

corner and. He needs

32:01

to make a, it

32:04

needs to make a

32:07

dexterity saving throw. I

32:09

like that you didn't

32:12

assume the spider's gender.

32:15

Oh my god. Oh,

32:17

well, wow. That was

32:20

so cute. Okay. I

32:22

think it still takes

32:25

half damage. That's good.

32:28

So let me roll

32:30

damage. Look. Oh wow.

32:33

Two ones in a

32:36

two. So let me

32:38

roll damage. Look. Oh

32:41

wow. Two ones in

32:44

a two. So that's

32:46

11. So. Half damage!

32:49

So... Hold on one

32:52

second. Uh-uh. Where is

32:54

my thingies? I don't,

32:57

I don't know, what's

33:00

the thing? You mean

33:02

spells? Not my spell.

33:05

Oh, my feature is

33:08

here there. Ah, there

33:10

there. You know what?

33:13

We'll save it. We'll

33:16

save it. Okay. Okay,

33:18

I'm just gonna get

33:21

rid of that template

33:24

so that we can

33:26

all yeah, you know,

33:29

the cloud stays because

33:32

the concentration spell. Yeah,

33:34

but we know it's

33:37

there. Yeah. Fonkulus. All

33:40

right, so the first

33:42

thing he's gonna do

33:45

is he's gonna look

33:48

to the spider that

33:50

is in the corner.

33:54

and he's gonna yell at

33:56

it in no mish. Nobody

33:58

knows what he says, but

34:00

it sounds real bad. It's

34:02

just like old man yells

34:04

a cloud shaking his fist,

34:06

yelling at it. Personally offended

34:08

by it. And then he's

34:10

going to use as a

34:12

bonus action hound of ill

34:14

omen to charge at this

34:16

thing. Let me read real

34:18

quick what it does. I

34:20

summon a hound of ill

34:22

omen to target one creature

34:24

I can see. The hound

34:26

uses dire wool statistics, except

34:29

that it's medium. The hound

34:31

appears in an unoccupied space

34:33

of my choice within 30

34:35

feet of the target, which

34:37

it can certainly do that.

34:39

I'd like you to be

34:41

in the space most between

34:43

me and it, please. And

34:45

then it has separate initiatives,

34:47

so it needs to row

34:49

initiative. On its turn, it

34:51

can only move toward this

34:53

target by the most direct

34:55

route, and it can only

34:57

attack this target. It makes

34:59

opportunity attacks as well, but

35:01

only against this target. The

35:03

important thing. is that when

35:06

it's within five feet of

35:08

this target, it has disadvantage

35:10

against saving throws against my

35:12

spells. Oh, so like right

35:14

there is where you'd like

35:16

that wolf? Just, just, uh,

35:18

might as well have them

35:20

right up in there, five

35:22

feet closer there. Okay, that's

35:24

there. All right, let's, oh,

35:26

actually, uh, let's make him

35:28

friendly. Yeah. He's a friendly

35:30

wolf. Friendly boy. His name

35:32

is Dog Two. And we're

35:34

gonna add him. Oh, he

35:36

rolled really well, so he'll

35:38

go right after you. Cool.

35:40

Okay. So those are my

35:43

bonus action for my spell.

35:45

I'm going to cast Maximilian's

35:47

earthen grasp on this spider.

35:49

Oh. So one that's gonna

35:51

do is. The stone column

35:53

that this thing is perched

35:55

on the wall next to

35:57

is going to animate and

35:59

try to wrap itself around

36:01

this thing like a snake.

36:03

Oh shit, that's pretty cool.

36:05

Okay, so we're gonna do

36:07

that. Is that a save

36:09

or are you like, how

36:11

does that work? You need

36:13

to make a concentration save

36:15

of spell save DC is

36:17

charisma modifier plus my proficiency

36:20

bonus, right? It sounds right,

36:22

but hold up, I got

36:24

you, I got you. If

36:26

you hit the spells tab,

36:28

it's all the way up

36:30

top. So it's 15. Yes,

36:32

okay. So it needs to

36:34

make a 15 save, con

36:36

save. Disadvantage. Okay. Okay. Well,

36:38

disadvantage. Shit. Mm-hmm. E-e. Oof.

36:40

Okay. Well, a six. Okay.

36:42

Okay. Well, a six. Okay.

36:44

Okay. I'm sorry. It was

36:46

strength. Does that change the

36:48

outcome? What's the bonus? Is

36:50

it different? Okay. No. No.

36:52

Not enough to outweigh. Yeah.

36:54

Okay. His strength is 28,

36:56

actually. So, yeah, not enough

36:59

to. Okay. So on a

37:01

failed save, it takes 2D6

37:03

bludgening damage and is restrained

37:05

for the spell's duration, which

37:07

is up to a minute.

37:09

It can, on its turn,

37:11

I think, try to break

37:13

out. Yeah, it can make

37:15

a strength check against against

37:17

that same save, which is

37:19

going to continue to have

37:21

disadvantage. uh...

37:23

six and that spider is

37:26

there well ironically the restrained

37:28

icon is a web that's

37:30

what i was yelling at

37:32

him is about get ready

37:35

for some irony bitch in

37:37

no mish though so it

37:39

sounded kind of cute Yeah,

37:42

he's just gonna attack he's

37:44

got let's see plus five

37:46

on his I guess I'll

37:49

roll it plus five to

37:51

hit One D 20 pretend

37:53

there's five it on to

37:56

this that's gonna be a

37:58

12 but this thing doesn't

38:00

have does it have any

38:02

disadvantage to being it has

38:05

advantage against being attacked right

38:07

because it's restrained yeah actually

38:09

hold on one second I

38:12

can do I could do

38:14

you one better hold up

38:16

ooh if you open it

38:19

you should have full ownership

38:21

of that wolf If

38:30

you go to, you

38:32

could double click on

38:34

the icon or you

38:36

can double click on

38:38

the, yeah. Oh, neat.

38:40

Okay. Yeah. So let's

38:42

do. So do one

38:44

more attack. Okay. Oh,

38:46

it is biography. Yes.

38:49

Deep floor. Oh. Oh,

38:51

shit. Oh, it has

38:53

a 24. Yeah. What's

38:55

the damage? 1D10 plus

38:57

3. Max damage. There

38:59

it is. Cool. Shit.

39:01

Big shadow monster dog

39:03

fighting giant demon spider.

39:05

Love it. Very metal.

39:07

When I'm restrained, I

39:09

believe I can make

39:12

one action. Creature speed

39:14

becomes zero can't benefit

39:16

from any attacks from

39:18

any bonus to its

39:20

speed attack rolls against

39:22

the creature have advantage

39:24

Okay, so can attack

39:26

it just can't move

39:28

or yeah And it

39:30

has the creatures attack

39:33

rolls have disadvantage Oh

39:35

shit well all right

39:37

disadvantage attacking the wolf

39:39

I will drop a

39:41

crit 20 to take

39:43

a crit one, which

39:45

is the worst possible

39:47

thing. that

39:49

could have

39:51

just happened. just

39:53

happened. So see

39:56

if we're

39:58

gonna roll

40:00

on ye

40:02

old crit

40:04

table. ye old

40:06

crit We are. Do you realize?

40:08

Do you that there will be a that There'll

40:10

be new crit tables a new, And

40:13

this will be, this new crit of

40:15

the last times we'll see these. Oh

40:17

my gosh. be, this know. is, this

40:19

is know of the last

40:21

times we'll see see what we Oh my

40:23

gosh. I know. I know. I know.

40:26

This year we got. Is

40:28

there an to instantly for

40:30

it to Yes, almost,

40:32

almost. I think there's

40:34

a history behind

40:37

this. Yes, almost, almost. I think

40:39

there's a history right

40:41

it falls prone.

40:43

Oopsy, Daisy, it falls prone. Okay.

40:45

is restrained and

40:47

prone and dumb

40:49

and prone and dumb. And

40:51

is the is the end. I put

40:53

on this Earth and make

40:56

spiders look stupid and I'm

40:58

doing and the spiders they came

41:00

in so hot and heavy,

41:02

and now that and I'm it. it.

41:05

Man, they of in

41:07

so hot and

41:09

heavy and now that

41:12

going to

41:14

make a yeah, you

41:16

really cocked it. It really...

41:18

To judge our banks

41:20

of spiders. Yeah.

41:23

Sorry. I'm going to

41:25

try to. I wasn't very

41:28

successful the last time. Okay. I'm going

41:30

to use my I'm going to

41:32

use my cutting action and

41:34

disengage from this guy. And

41:36

then I'm going to right over

41:38

over here. by this by this

41:40

little pillar. and then I'm going

41:42

to shoot him. him. Or I'm going

41:44

to I'm going to to. I

41:46

I wasn't very successful the

41:48

last time, but we'll see. last

41:50

Well, you do. we'll see. Well,

41:52

you say. say. The

41:55

The one down at the bottom

41:57

the not be. not be more ripe.

42:00

for the plundering. Oh, well,

42:02

it's fine. I guess we'll

42:04

do that sooner. No, I

42:06

appreciate it. If you want

42:09

to be a trailblazer, if

42:11

you want to carve your

42:13

own path, then who needs

42:15

that? It's restrained and prone.

42:18

That hits. That absolutely hits.

42:20

So normally you'd get disadvantaged

42:22

because it's prone in your

42:24

firing range. But because, like,

42:27

basically it balances out to

42:29

you just get normal attacks.

42:31

That's all. Okay. Where do

42:34

I do the damage again?

42:36

It's in the chat. Is

42:38

it? Because it doesn't show

42:40

it for me. It used

42:43

to, but it's not right

42:45

now. Really? Oh wait. There

42:47

it is. I just hit

42:49

the wrong thing. Sorry. Would

42:52

you stop apologizing? I've been

42:54

conditioned since birth to do

42:56

that, Jason. I cannot help

42:59

it. I just, I don't,

43:01

I don't live here. Generally,

43:03

the words just fall out

43:05

of my mouth. I don't

43:08

know what to do. I

43:10

know when Lisa left the

43:12

party, but like, Sari's would

43:14

decrease by at least 40%

43:17

and no. Ten damage to

43:19

La Spiter. I believe you

43:21

get sneak attack attack. Which

43:24

is five and it got

43:26

dark. Oh, Jesus. God, get

43:28

into the level where that's

43:30

crazy. Oh, funny. Two extra

43:33

damage. You have bloody this

43:35

fighter. It doesn't have a

43:37

thing. Don't worry. It's not.

43:39

Yeah. No, he's just bloody.

43:42

He's just, he's just leaking.

43:44

He just has a Joe

43:46

blow over here. Yeah, he's.

43:48

Yeah, he's. Anything

43:51

else? That is all.

43:54

Funculus, you're up. There's

43:56

another spider? to call

43:58

Small Dict if you'd

44:01

like. I cast a

44:03

win fight. Don't you

44:05

have like a pocket

44:07

tea recs or some

44:10

shit? I got rid

44:12

of that after the

44:14

after the controversy. After

44:17

the incident, yes. You

44:19

stopped using that spell,

44:21

we don't talk about

44:24

it. What's this? Coolest

44:26

spell in the book?

44:28

Nope. Anyway, it

44:30

was a tense time. It

44:33

was. So he's going to

44:35

take, is he going to

44:38

take more damage? Who? The

44:40

spider you've already cut? Maybe.

44:42

Yeah, so as an action,

44:45

I'm going to cause it

44:47

to take 2D6 more damage.

44:49

It doesn't get a chance

44:52

to try to break out

44:54

until its turn. Oh, lovely.

44:56

Oh. Should I have done

44:59

that on my turn is

45:01

try to roll and escape?

45:04

If that spider has gone,

45:06

yeah, it can make a

45:08

strength check at disadvantage to

45:11

try to escape. Okay, I'll

45:13

do that in one second.

45:15

First, I'm gonna take six

45:18

more damage. All right, let

45:20

me open this up. At

45:22

disadvantage? Holy shit, okay. Well,

45:25

that sucks. Nothing. Well, I

45:27

dropped the 20 to take

45:30

a 17. Here's the thing,

45:32

he's still down. He's still

45:34

down. Yeah. So in that

45:37

case, when did he break

45:39

out? Was it his last

45:41

turn? Yeah, it would have

45:44

been. All right, well, I'm

45:46

going to try to grab

45:48

him again. Oh, no. Yeah,

45:51

he's laying down. Yeah. He

45:53

still gets disadvantaged for the

45:56

fucking. Oh, man. Yeah. So

45:58

that's another strength save, please.

46:00

God damn it! Okay, just

46:03

regular though, right? Yeah. Okay,

46:05

here we go. No, it's

46:07

just a advantage. The wolf

46:10

is there. It doesn't matter.

46:12

He failed it anyway. Oh,

46:14

I still failed. No. Yeah,

46:17

so I do that and

46:19

then he takes the damage.

46:22

They're like, no Okay. You

46:24

call him down down. Stop

46:26

resisting. Yeah, well, I mean

46:29

the more grabs him like

46:31

it breaks away and it

46:33

grabs him again, like it

46:36

starts to look more and

46:38

more like Fonculus's hand. as

46:40

it goes like as it

46:43

continues to take shape. So

46:45

that's cool. Blevins! Blevins is

46:48

going to cast fly on

46:50

himself and go straight up

46:52

into the air. Okay. To

46:55

where his head is, head

46:57

is almost touching the ceiling.

46:59

And then I'm just going

47:02

to cast that spell to

47:04

have it off. Then I'm

47:06

just going to, um, going

47:09

to cast Bartic inspiration on

47:11

Josephine. Thank you. Oh, that's

47:14

gonna come in handy. You

47:16

can use your Bartic inspiration

47:18

on the ritual thing if

47:21

you'd like. I mean, unless

47:23

you really eat shit and

47:25

like roll bad, then you

47:28

know, but I'm sure you're

47:30

gonna be fine. You'd be

47:32

great. And that is my

47:35

turn. Okay, which, which, ah,

47:37

the shitty spider? Well, I

47:40

guess he's gonna, he can't

47:42

stand up because he can't

47:44

move. So, you make it

47:47

on the strength save. He

47:49

can do that. Yeah, I

47:51

guess he can. At this.

47:54

Suck a dick. Okay. Oh,

47:56

too bad. This fucking rigged

47:58

carnival game. Drop a 14

48:01

to take a five. He's

48:03

just gonna lay there and

48:06

gently paw at this wolf

48:08

trying to, like he's just,

48:10

what a loser. Yeah, I

48:13

would not screw with Vonculus,

48:15

I'll tell you that much.

48:17

Seems like a bad idea.

48:20

Josephine, here we go. Here

48:22

we go. I need you

48:24

to give me another Arcana

48:27

check. This time it's gotta

48:29

be a 14. Okay. Oh,

48:32

suck a dick. That's what

48:34

I said. Uh, that's a

48:36

two. Do you want to

48:39

use your part against expiration?

48:41

It wouldn't even get me

48:43

up over the point, because

48:46

it's only a D-10. I

48:48

know, I know, I know.

48:50

What does an inspiration do?

48:53

Is it a re-roll? I'm

48:55

just curious. I forgot. Well,

48:58

the bardic inspiration is a

49:00

D10, but what about the

49:02

other inspiration? Yeah. That lets

49:05

you re-roll. Would you like

49:07

to re-roll, okay? Hmm. I

49:09

feel like I'm gonna hold

49:12

on to it. It's only

49:14

two... Two fans. Halfway there.

49:16

Yeah. That's only halfway, doesn't

49:19

fails, right? Yeah. So

49:23

good news bad news,

49:25

I'm gonna take these

49:27

fighters off the field

49:29

I'm just gonna hold

49:31

on to it. Okay.

49:33

All right. Well So

49:35

good news bad news.

49:37

I'm gonna take it.

49:39

So good news bad

49:41

news. I'm gonna take

49:43

these fighters off the

49:45

field and I'm gonna

49:47

put on something worse

49:49

That's what happens. Did

49:52

it just like fall

49:54

apart or? I would

49:56

say that the energy

49:58

channeled into the thing.

50:00

Everything's going fine. And

50:02

then, oh, you hit

50:04

the wrong thing. And

50:06

this kind of like

50:08

purple energy comes out

50:10

of it. Whereas there's

50:12

this wholly bright kind

50:14

of golden light coming

50:16

out of the top

50:18

of it. So these

50:20

spiders are just going

50:22

to kind of almost

50:24

turn to ash and

50:26

then reform as something

50:28

else. One singular thing

50:30

this time. And that

50:32

will change, you know.

50:34

How's it going over

50:36

there Josephine? It's going

50:38

really good. I think

50:40

we're doing it. I

50:42

fully trust in your

50:44

abilities that you know

50:46

what you're doing and

50:48

you got this. Blamer

50:50

distracting you. Thanks. Look

50:52

over. Do you need

50:54

help? No. She

50:57

said, what I learned

50:59

in three school is.

51:01

What the fuck is

51:03

that? We got ourselves

51:05

a short devil. Yeah,

51:07

he's, he's kind of

51:09

a, you know, mid-level

51:11

fiend. And we're going

51:13

to add him to

51:15

the initiative. I'm sorry.

51:17

Short devil. Short devil,

51:19

a short king. It's

51:21

what they used to

51:23

call funkelos back in

51:26

the day. Also, as

51:28

a result of that,

51:30

at the top of

51:32

every round, someone's gonna

51:34

have to roll for

51:36

that luck, die, and

51:38

at the bottom of

51:40

every round, I get

51:42

to roll for bad

51:44

luck. Uh, no. No,

51:46

no, no. It starts

51:48

at the failure. We

51:50

gotta keep. Yeah. Okay.

51:52

I will say, I'll

51:54

let the short devil

51:56

go last in this

51:58

round. That fair? Okay.

52:00

Uh, Josephine, you still

52:02

get a turn. Still

52:04

get a turn. So

52:06

this short devil. I

52:08

thought you could be

52:10

racist. And I'm like,

52:12

whoa, what did I

52:14

do? You fucking human?

52:16

Take your turn. He

52:18

he's gonna he's gonna

52:20

it's gonna take some

52:22

lightning so it needs

52:25

to it needs to

52:27

do a Dexterity save

52:29

you through. Oh, I

52:31

don't his thing Dexterity's

52:33

not it's it's oh

52:35

man. It's it's a

52:37

it's a demon. It's

52:39

it's who? Fuck you

52:41

Karen. I'm so sorry

52:43

I Dexterity save here

52:45

we go! It's 12.

52:47

Ugh, I don't, yeah,

52:49

his mod of sex.

52:51

Let me just bring

52:53

this back up. Okay,

52:55

so here is the

52:57

thing is that I

52:59

am a really cool

53:01

cleric. Yes. Grass of

53:03

the Storm Claire, or

53:05

not that one. What

53:07

is it? Nope, not

53:09

that one. Not that

53:11

one. Who said that?

53:13

Who fucking said that?

53:15

Because I did not

53:17

say that. My channel,

53:19

I'm gonna use my

53:21

channel to divinity. God

53:24

damn, I can't talk

53:26

tonight. You got this.

53:28

It's pre-recorded. I can

53:30

make you sound amazing.

53:32

Just give you second

53:34

take a take. Okay,

53:36

it's gonna take Max,

53:38

Max damage. So it's

53:40

gonna take 30 30

53:42

lightning damage. Oh Okay,

53:44

fuck it's like Yeah.

53:46

Okay. I'm a turtle

53:48

double. Honestly, that little

53:50

face, I keep wondering

53:52

what his voice is

53:54

going to be like.

53:56

Oh, hey. His teeth

53:58

look like a mustache

54:00

to me. They do.

54:02

He looks like he

54:04

looks like instead. He

54:06

looks like insistent. He's

54:08

like, let me just

54:10

see. He's are not

54:12

intimidating. So I. I

54:14

honestly like you guys

54:16

yeah like the here's

54:18

the here's the thing

54:20

To the mustache, I

54:23

just think closeted gay

54:25

man voice that they

54:27

used to use in

54:29

the 80s. What's that

54:31

cartoon where the guys

54:33

like, oh no. That

54:35

guy. Oh, the family

54:37

guy. Oh, yeah. That

54:39

guy. Yeah, that guy

54:41

did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

54:43

That's the boys. Oh

54:45

no. Oh no. So

54:47

that's what he gets

54:49

when he gets hit

54:51

my lightning. So that's

54:53

a hate crime, Karen.

54:55

Uh, I get, I

54:57

get, I get a

54:59

move back a little

55:01

bit, though, just because

55:03

I feel like, uh,

55:05

he's gonna fuck you

55:07

up. Yeah. He's gonna,

55:09

he's gonna hit you

55:11

real hard. Maybe just

55:13

like back here. Okay,

55:15

behind the wolf. Got

55:17

it. Got it. Yeah.

55:19

No, we're friend. We're

55:22

beyond the me playing

55:24

coy. He's gonna, he's

55:26

gonna hurt you. Wolf.

55:29

Help Wolf. Help Wolf. Wolf.

55:32

Wolf help. Wolf go here.

55:34

Save us Fido. Right against

55:36

the short. Right. You go

55:38

for the short. Man. No

55:41

mercy right for the short.

55:43

You're talking this wolf. Do

55:45

you, are you giving it

55:47

like an air bud type

55:50

of vibe or old yeller

55:52

type of vibe? What is

55:54

a little chopper sick malls?

55:56

Like, what, what is the

55:59

vibe? Yeah. I

56:01

mean, it is a

56:03

hound of ill omen.

56:05

So I feel like

56:08

a lot of the

56:10

vibe is in the

56:12

name, right? Like it's

56:14

just kind of like

56:16

wispy, shadow, glowing eyes

56:19

type deal, kind of

56:21

formless. But it's, yeah.

56:23

But Fonkulus absolutely talks

56:25

to him like his

56:28

favorite puppy. Go care.

56:30

Go care. 18 in

56:32

the chart. 18 will

56:34

hit. And now we're

56:36

gonna do the damage.

56:39

10 damage. And I

56:41

believe, oh wait, doesn't

56:43

he have the ability?

56:45

I don't know. Pearson

56:48

damage and the target

56:50

has the prone condition

56:52

if it is huge

56:54

or smaller. See huge

56:56

or smaller? Uh, yeah.

56:59

Because it's a... I

57:02

will save against that?

57:04

It just is? It's

57:06

what it says. It

57:08

says the action bite

57:10

for a dire wolf.

57:12

It says, uh, it

57:14

does 1D10 plus modifier

57:16

piercing damage and the

57:18

target has the prone

57:20

condition if it is

57:22

huge or smaller. No

57:24

save. Fuck. Marking that

57:26

down. Okay. Prone. Fuck.

57:28

Okay, well, this short

57:31

devil, so I could

57:33

stand up, right? I

57:35

could just... Yeah, it

57:37

was a move. Oh,

57:39

okay. I'll just take

57:41

that off at that.

57:43

He will stand up,

57:45

and he's gonna stab

57:47

the fuck out of

57:49

this wolf for daring.

57:51

Jesus. One, oh God.

57:53

It has multi-attack, and

57:55

it can make the

57:58

short devil. Uh, you

58:00

know what? Someone out

58:02

there is like, how

58:04

dare you disrespect that

58:06

that is a... That

58:08

is a famous demon

58:10

and you guys are

58:12

making a mockery. The

58:14

short devil makes one

58:16

claw attack and two

58:18

rencer attacks. There are

58:20

little swords. Or it

58:22

makes four hurl flame

58:25

attacks. So I guess

58:27

we're just going to

58:29

claw and and stuff

58:31

against this wolf. 26.

58:33

Yeah, that hits. And

58:35

11 damage. And then

58:37

he's got a couple

58:39

of swords. 22. Holy

58:41

shit that modifier. That's

58:43

a demon. Oh, kidoki.

58:45

Wow. Okay, that is

58:47

the damage. All right.

58:49

So it's D10 piercing

58:51

damage and then the

58:54

four D6s are fire.

58:57

Yeah, and I believe that kill.

58:59

Yeah, that'll kill it kill the

59:02

wolf. Yeah And it is

59:04

going to advance on Karen It's

59:06

just gonna go right for Joe

59:08

5 10 15 20 right here.

59:11

You fucking you hit me? I

59:13

am short and he is going

59:16

to just swing at you Oh

59:18

god that was oh my oh

59:20

it's still hit didn't it move

59:23

to stand up from oh

59:25

my gosh oh you're right wait

59:27

oh five ten that's only 15

59:30

it still gets to like it's

59:32

half the movement to stand up

59:35

it's almost almost almost though wow

59:37

does funkulous get in an opportunity

59:39

attack let's say one yeah you

59:42

would would you like one would

59:44

you like one I would

59:46

love one I'm going to fucking

59:49

bite it. I'm a vampire. Oh

59:51

shit. You get all hot up

59:53

on demon blood? Oh my God.

59:56

Oh, it's good stuff. slap

59:58

in your head? It's got a

1:00:00

bonus to all his rolls. I

1:00:03

mean, that would be hilarious. It's

1:00:05

like, I don't know, getting

1:00:07

drunk for vampires. Yeah, I mean,

1:00:09

we know like eating mortals, like

1:00:12

we know that that's like, it's

1:00:14

like, oh shit, I don't, I

1:00:17

guess. Yeah, it's a demon.

1:00:19

Like if you get a hold

1:00:21

of it, if you get yourself,

1:00:23

if you bite its ankles or

1:00:26

whatever, let's see. All right. It's

1:00:28

a 2020 plus four is the

1:00:31

attack. Oh no, oh well, okay.

1:00:33

Okay, well, that's a three. Snaps

1:00:35

at it like a terrier as

1:00:38

it was, alright. It's the

1:00:40

instant background. He's distracted by his

1:00:42

face. It's like, man, why did

1:00:45

they make your tusks like that?

1:00:47

What is that? It looks ridiculous.

1:00:49

You look like someone took

1:00:51

your picture and you weren't ready.

1:00:54

Like, that's awful. So

1:00:57

that's this damage

1:01:00

to? Oh my

1:01:03

god. 25 to

1:01:05

Josephine reducing her

1:01:08

to 55. Oh

1:01:11

I have to

1:01:13

roll for concentration.

1:01:16

Oh you do

1:01:19

have to roll

1:01:21

to keep that

1:01:24

storma going. Oh,

1:01:27

it's 12 for concentration,

1:01:29

shit. And has 11.

1:01:31

Oh, it's okay. I'll

1:01:34

just, that's okay. Just

1:01:36

cast it again. It's

1:01:38

fine. Yeah. Yeah. We

1:01:40

just cast it again.

1:01:42

Guys, I get to

1:01:45

roll for bad luck.

1:01:47

Are we ready? Wait,

1:01:49

wait, hold on. We're

1:01:51

not done yet. Are

1:01:53

we not? I was

1:01:55

done. Yeah, except for

1:01:58

he hit me and

1:02:00

now I have a

1:02:02

reaction to that. So

1:02:04

I'm going to use

1:02:06

my wrath of the

1:02:09

storm and it needs

1:02:11

to do a... a

1:02:13

dexterity saving throw. DC

1:02:15

15. Oh no! I

1:02:17

rolled a three and

1:02:19

still got a 12,

1:02:22

but that's not gonna

1:02:24

be, that's not a

1:02:26

15. Lightning damage. He's

1:02:28

gonna say, huge. Yeah.

1:02:30

And then because I

1:02:33

also did lightning damage

1:02:35

to it, it's gonna

1:02:37

get pushed back 10

1:02:39

feet from me. So

1:02:41

wait one. Two usually

1:02:43

you do not get

1:02:46

an opportunity attack because

1:02:48

of a push, but

1:02:50

I'm gonna give you

1:02:52

one Jamison because Because

1:02:54

you just like seeing

1:02:57

you snap at it

1:03:00

Oh, geez. He's a

1:03:02

demon. He's into rough

1:03:04

stuff. Like, that's good.

1:03:06

So, it's a 14

1:03:08

to hit. 14's not

1:03:10

gonna hit. I'm sorry.

1:03:12

Yeah. I'm not willing

1:03:15

to get closer to

1:03:17

him. I'm just snapping

1:03:19

from 10 feet away.

1:03:21

That's fine. Fight a

1:03:23

little dog that I

1:03:25

appreciate. Yes, fighting away.

1:03:27

I just want to

1:03:29

know. Don't bite me.

1:03:32

I just wait if

1:03:34

this small fence wasn't

1:03:36

in the way. This

1:03:38

screen door was near

1:03:40

would be over for

1:03:42

you. Okay, now I'm

1:03:44

gonna roll for your

1:03:46

bad luck. So you

1:03:49

guys are hoping for

1:03:51

low rolls. You don't

1:03:53

want a high roll.

1:03:55

Okay. So you'll

1:03:57

notice that there's another day

1:04:00

20. There's another little. on

1:04:02

the other side. Yeah. So

1:04:05

right now, that bad luck

1:04:07

means that if I crit,

1:04:10

I get to do triple

1:04:12

damage. Only if I crit,

1:04:15

I get to do triple

1:04:17

damage. Only if I crit.

1:04:20

So it's only for one

1:04:22

round. It's only for the.

1:04:25

Oh, it's it depending. The

1:04:27

four attacks I get. But

1:04:30

if I quit, guys, that

1:04:32

is the end of round

1:04:35

two. Oh, I'm so excited.

1:04:37

Oh, no. I don't like

1:04:40

that one mitt. Oh, no.

1:04:42

Nick Short is up first.

1:04:44

I don't like that one

1:04:47

mitt. Who hasn't rolled for

1:04:49

good luck? I believe. Zach.

1:04:52

Zach, you got a roll?

1:04:56

Haven't yet I oh

1:04:58

if you get a

1:05:01

20. Oh my goodness.

1:05:03

Just give me a

1:05:06

D20 baby eat one

1:05:08

You got it Nine

1:05:11

It's middle of the

1:05:13

road. It's it's still

1:05:16

only good things Yeah

1:05:18

all good things all

1:05:20

good things all good

1:05:23

things all good things

1:05:26

All of their

1:05:29

attacks are made

1:05:31

with advantage this

1:05:34

round. You can

1:05:36

also pick yourself.

1:05:39

I choose the

1:05:41

rogue. Okay. You

1:05:44

have credit before.

1:05:46

I do. Now

1:05:49

I picture him

1:05:51

leaning his butt

1:05:54

into it's like,

1:05:56

oh no, little

1:05:59

vampire. I know,

1:06:01

like he really

1:06:04

wants it, but...

1:06:06

I bite him

1:06:08

and all I

1:06:11

get is his

1:06:13

weird-ass teeth, just

1:06:16

my teeth. He

1:06:18

lets out a

1:06:21

mighty roar. Ooh!

1:06:23

Let's just... hurl

1:06:36

flames it everybody. Fuck it.

1:06:39

Here we go. I get

1:06:41

four hurl flame attacks. I'm

1:06:44

gonna go right down the

1:06:46

row. Here we go. This

1:06:49

one is for Tatiana. Oh,

1:06:51

ha, who. Oh, that's a

1:06:54

two. Okay, okay. Okay. This

1:06:56

one is for Josephine. So,

1:06:59

uh, geez, Sue, uh, these

1:07:01

kind of suck. Okay, fine.

1:07:04

Eleven and a 13. This

1:07:06

one. This one's for funculus.

1:07:09

Remember, if I get a

1:07:11

crit, and I don't want

1:07:14

to, but if I get

1:07:16

a crit, it's triple damage,

1:07:19

so. 20? Not a crit,

1:07:21

but yeah. Yeah, no, that

1:07:23

hits. Okay. The hurdle flame

1:07:26

doesn't do as much damage,

1:07:28

actually, so that's pretty cool.

1:07:31

Oof one two three four

1:07:33

and wow and this one's

1:07:36

for blevens like here we

1:07:38

go You're up there. Oh

1:07:41

shit if I hit you

1:07:43

and you lose concentration you

1:07:46

fall right? Potentially I don't

1:07:48

know I don't think you

1:07:51

do I don't think you

1:07:53

do I think I think

1:07:56

I might I can okay

1:07:58

here we go Oh God.

1:08:01

23. It doesn't hit. 21

1:08:03

damage. Would you like me

1:08:06

to put your health on

1:08:08

your characters so you can

1:08:10

see it at a glance

1:08:13

all of you? Sure. That

1:08:15

would be good. Thank you.

1:08:18

Okay. Of course. I'm here

1:08:20

to help. I was going

1:08:23

to type it, but has

1:08:25

anyone seen Bernie with Jack

1:08:28

Black? I

1:08:30

have. That's the vibe

1:08:32

I'm getting from the

1:08:34

short demon. I'm sad

1:08:36

now that nobody knows

1:08:39

what I'm talking about,

1:08:41

but some listener out

1:08:43

there has seen that

1:08:45

movie and can paint

1:08:48

a picture now. Oh,

1:08:50

I can see it.

1:08:52

Uh, concentration saving through

1:08:54

there, Zach. Uh, that's

1:08:56

constitution saving, right? They'll

1:08:59

be the one? Yes.

1:09:01

Yep. I rolled it,

1:09:03

uh, just now. Oh,

1:09:05

six-six-six shit, you're fine.

1:09:08

You're fine. You're good.

1:09:10

You're fine. Okay. He's

1:09:12

done. Blevins, you're up.

1:09:14

Okay. Wow. I think

1:09:17

Blevins will swoop down

1:09:19

right above him, go

1:09:21

for two attacks with

1:09:23

the rubber. Okay. His

1:09:27

teeth are stupid. Okay,

1:09:29

well, uh, first one

1:09:32

hits. Second one does

1:09:34

not. Fair enough, um,

1:09:36

damage. And, uh, oh.

1:09:39

Oh, minimum damage. And,

1:09:41

uh, oh. Oh, minimum

1:09:44

damage. Five. And. using

1:09:46

his feet mobile he

1:09:48

will whisk back up

1:09:51

even though it doesn't

1:09:53

matter if he's shooting

1:09:56

rays at me anyway

1:09:58

Yeah, but it's worse

1:10:00

if he gets close.

1:10:03

Josephine! Karen, don't you

1:10:05

run? Karen ran. She

1:10:08

ran. She ran. She

1:10:10

ran. She ran so

1:10:12

far away. While we're

1:10:15

waiting, I do have

1:10:17

to make a con

1:10:20

save for my earthen

1:10:22

grasp. I just realized.

1:10:24

So... What's the earthen

1:10:27

grasp on? It's on

1:10:29

nothing right now, but

1:10:32

I'm still maintaining the

1:10:34

spell. Oh! concentration, yeah.

1:10:36

It'll be a 15.

1:10:39

Fine, nice. 15, you're

1:10:41

good. Cool. Karen, welcome

1:10:44

back. Thank you. Are

1:10:46

you ready? Oh, it's

1:10:48

my turn. Oh, it's

1:10:51

your turn. Okay. Okay,

1:10:53

here's the thing. Because

1:10:57

we're halfway to failure.

1:10:59

Halfway to success? No,

1:11:02

you're not. I thought

1:11:04

we had two successes.

1:11:06

Yeah, you have two.

1:11:08

You gotta get to

1:11:10

seven. Any way. I'm

1:11:13

gonna let you pick

1:11:15

the skill. We need

1:11:17

a 15 or high

1:11:19

or 14 or higher.

1:11:21

Sorry. That's fun. Any

1:11:23

skill. Any skill you

1:11:26

want as long as

1:11:28

you can justify paint

1:11:30

me a picture You

1:11:32

could use any skill

1:11:34

you like You could

1:11:37

sleight of hand the

1:11:39

bell you go up

1:11:41

there and just like

1:11:43

yeah Because I do

1:11:45

have a plus seven

1:11:48

to insight and so

1:11:50

I feel like as

1:11:52

this ritual continues on

1:11:54

glean some like nuance

1:11:56

behind the ritual and

1:11:58

stuff to be able

1:12:01

to. Yeah. Use the

1:12:03

insight. Yeah. Basically, it's

1:12:05

tied to gods. So

1:12:07

it's like, hey, how

1:12:09

you guys feeling about

1:12:12

all this? Like, you

1:12:14

know, how's the new

1:12:16

management? See if there's

1:12:18

any vibes coming through

1:12:20

the bell. Yeah, do

1:12:22

it. Look for 14

1:12:25

or higher. If you

1:12:27

succeed, I'll tell you.

1:12:29

Fucking 14. Karen. Good

1:12:31

lord, I'll take. That's

1:12:33

three successes to failures.

1:12:36

Jameson, you look concerned.

1:12:38

I'm stressed. No. Okay.

1:12:40

Yeah. Okay. Did I

1:12:42

forget to mention? Karen,

1:12:44

you're going to be

1:12:46

doing two checks every

1:12:49

turn. I'm sorry. I

1:12:51

didn't tell you that,

1:12:53

but... He didn't. It's

1:12:55

fine. I

1:12:57

will, because you succeeded, I'm gonna

1:12:59

get, so you're kind of getting

1:13:02

this vibe that, the gods aren't

1:13:04

really rooting for anyone, but they

1:13:06

would be very appreciative if you

1:13:08

can get rid of the undead

1:13:11

influence in this city. You can

1:13:13

kind of feel, but they're not

1:13:15

gonna do anything, it's like, look,

1:13:17

we don't interfere, but it would

1:13:20

be nice. Not even a, we're

1:13:22

rooting for you, it's more, it's

1:13:24

like, you know. I'll

1:13:28

let you pick one

1:13:30

more because it's still

1:13:32

your turn. I'll let

1:13:34

you pick one more.

1:13:37

Okay. Can't be the

1:13:39

same one though. Hmm.

1:13:41

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Man,

1:13:43

why did I pick

1:13:46

the things that I

1:13:48

picked to be proficient?

1:13:50

What was 18 years

1:13:52

ago Karen thinking when

1:13:55

she made this character?

1:13:57

I I like to

1:13:59

recruit people young. I

1:14:01

really like to, you

1:14:04

know, make sure they,

1:14:06

you know, stick around

1:14:08

for a while. So

1:14:10

like at MCU. I

1:14:13

just feel like Josephine's

1:14:15

life is like the

1:14:17

dare of clerics to

1:14:19

put it up on

1:14:21

the mall like this

1:14:24

is why you pay

1:14:26

attention. Right, right. Medicine.

1:14:29

Hmm. That's awesome. You're like

1:14:31

healing Don hers. I'm like,

1:14:33

oh God, I need to

1:14:36

go. Boom. I'm trying to

1:14:38

help you out. Yeah, I

1:14:40

know. It was just so

1:14:43

cheesy. Yeah, like I, but

1:14:45

here's the thing. I, we're

1:14:47

going for intent on this

1:14:49

one, not literal. Yeah. So,

1:14:52

yeah. So, yeah. Okay. Yeah.

1:14:54

Yeah, it's like you're spreading

1:14:56

the central oil, we'll celebrate,

1:14:59

yeah. So it's like, oh,

1:15:01

what can I use in

1:15:03

my medicine repertoire for undead,

1:15:05

you know, stuff like that.

1:15:08

Is the, is, yep, is

1:15:10

the check higher? We did

1:15:12

a 15 or higher. Yeah,

1:15:14

there is. I, as you

1:15:17

succeed, it goes up. That

1:15:19

should make you proud. Oh,

1:15:22

so cool. What are

1:15:25

you doing? That's a

1:15:27

15! Just a 15.

1:15:29

You're a fucking B

1:15:32

student over here. I

1:15:34

tell you what you

1:15:36

need for the test.

1:15:39

You're like, well, I'll

1:15:41

get that in only.

1:15:43

You're a limit on

1:15:46

the edge. Yeah. 70%

1:15:48

like it's fine. Now

1:15:50

you're halfway to success

1:15:53

baby. That's four successes

1:15:55

failures and you get

1:15:58

a turn Wow Gosh.

1:16:01

I'm just gonna heal

1:16:03

everybody. Okay. I'm gonna

1:16:06

do, I'm gonna do

1:16:08

a mass, I think

1:16:10

it's called massacre wounds.

1:16:13

Are you gonna care

1:16:15

me too? Nope. Everybody

1:16:17

but the tort devil.

1:16:20

If you want to

1:16:22

join the party, if

1:16:24

you want to join

1:16:26

the party, let's do

1:16:29

it. We were party

1:16:31

members with you. Okay.

1:16:33

One, two, and five

1:16:36

for a total of

1:16:38

11 hit points back

1:16:40

to everybody. I got

1:16:43

you. I'll take it.

1:16:45

Appreciate it. That includes

1:16:47

you, right? It includes

1:16:50

me, yes. Yay! I

1:16:52

got you guys. Bam!

1:16:54

You. See everybody's back

1:16:57

to green. Lovely, I

1:16:59

love it. And that's

1:17:01

it? Anything else for

1:17:04

your check? Actually, I'm

1:17:06

gonna get a little

1:17:08

bit away from whatever's

1:17:11

happening over here. Sure.

1:17:13

No, like, like, like,

1:17:15

just away from, like,

1:17:17

I don't know, it

1:17:20

looks like there's a

1:17:22

corridor over there. Yeah.

1:17:24

I'll see you. I'm

1:17:31

telling you y'all need to

1:17:33

watch Bernie. I'm going to

1:17:35

get you. What are you

1:17:37

doing hiding over there? Can

1:17:40

I get y'all some sweet

1:17:42

tea? I'm sorry. I'm going

1:17:44

to love a sweet tea.

1:17:46

I'm telling you. I'm telling

1:17:49

you, y'all need to watch

1:17:51

Bernie. It's like a spy.

1:17:53

I took a screenshot of

1:17:55

this combat. I'm going to

1:17:57

post it in the discord

1:18:00

when this episode. thing looks

1:18:02

like. I have never taken

1:18:04

something that could kill me

1:18:06

so unserious. Here's the thing.

1:18:09

Let me give you its

1:18:11

fucking actual, like, okay. I

1:18:13

want to see its body

1:18:15

too, though. Here's the thing.

1:18:18

This guy would be on

1:18:20

grinder and he's only taken

1:18:22

neck down. Yeah. Yeah. Look

1:18:24

at him. Look at him.

1:18:27

Look at that fucking Chad

1:18:29

from the neck down. And

1:18:31

then you get to the

1:18:33

head and it's gone. All

1:18:35

that ribs is gone. All

1:18:38

that ribs? Why are you

1:18:40

saying I got no ribs?

1:18:42

Oh geez. Got some furry

1:18:44

pants. Yeah, I didn't know.

1:18:47

He goes coming. That's the

1:18:49

style. Oh yeah. It's like

1:18:51

living in a house for

1:18:53

the husky, it's like... I

1:18:56

had a little known here,

1:18:58

lacked furries. Tonsie on the

1:19:00

go, please kill his hands.

1:19:02

I didn't bite him, is

1:19:04

that hairy legs, I kept

1:19:07

getting just hair. It's like

1:19:09

living in a house for

1:19:11

the husky, it's like, ah!

1:19:13

Yeah. Now I imagine when

1:19:16

fondness was like trying to

1:19:18

bite it, it's running by

1:19:20

your bush. Oh my god,

1:19:22

let's see if we're rolling

1:19:25

on that crit table. I

1:19:27

should have showed you the

1:19:29

whole picture I feel like.

1:19:31

Oh my god, let's see

1:19:33

if we're rolling on that

1:19:36

crit table. I should have

1:19:38

showed you the whole picture

1:19:40

I feel like. I don't

1:19:42

know. I was without advantage

1:19:45

because he do have advantage.

1:19:47

I was without a man.

1:19:49

Uh, well, we're rolling on

1:19:51

the crit table, baby. Sorry.

1:19:54

short. Oh, is it silly?

1:19:56

I hope it's silly. Did

1:19:58

you roll? Oh, I thought

1:20:00

you did. You want me

1:20:03

to do it? No, no,

1:20:05

no. I want you to

1:20:07

do it. This is yours.

1:20:09

You've done it. Oh gosh,

1:20:11

okay. Oh gosh, I don't

1:20:14

know why it's been so

1:20:16

long. I couldn't remember. Nine.

1:20:18

unreliable armor in addition to

1:20:20

standard critical hit damage to

1:20:23

the targets AC is reduced

1:20:25

by two for the remainder

1:20:27

of the encounter. His pants

1:20:29

fell off. Those big furry

1:20:32

pants are gone. Yeah, no,

1:20:34

it is. He's so vainy

1:20:36

down there every day. He

1:20:38

wants to cover those up.

1:20:40

Like he's not, well he's

1:20:43

ripped, but like he's got

1:20:45

like grandma veins in his

1:20:47

legs. Like it's just not

1:20:49

very, he's like, I'm up

1:20:52

with furry pants. What did

1:20:54

you think I meant, you

1:20:56

pervert? I was just talking

1:20:58

about the man's cankles. Sure,

1:21:01

you were. You know, like,

1:21:03

you used to psychoskop those

1:21:05

calves. Don't fucking gaslight me,

1:21:07

Jason. Okay. I can't help

1:21:09

it if you're a sinful

1:21:12

person. I'm here running this

1:21:14

PG podcast. Oh,

1:21:18

geez. Oh, give me some

1:21:20

crit damage. And you think

1:21:22

it's not? Yeah. You think

1:21:25

it's doubled? It's, you know,

1:21:27

okay? Okay, so I'll do

1:21:30

the regular critical. Double dice.

1:21:32

And then? Nine damage. Plus

1:21:34

double sneak? Are you sure?

1:21:37

Yes, double sneak dies. Yeah,

1:21:39

I'm not going to say

1:21:42

no. Oh my

1:21:44

god, so many times!

1:21:46

Wow! I got a

1:21:49

lot of ones there!

1:21:52

That was a lot

1:21:54

of ones. That was

1:21:57

a lot of ones.

1:21:59

Yeah, like a lot.

1:22:02

One, two, three, four,

1:22:04

five, six ones. Wow.

1:22:07

That is going to

1:22:09

bloody. This demon. And

1:22:12

as a result of

1:22:14

being bloody. Um, how

1:22:17

I talk makes me

1:22:19

mad. That's not right.

1:22:22

Ooh, you can see

1:22:25

my temper now. Uh,

1:22:27

on his turn, he

1:22:30

gets to make eight

1:22:32

flame attacks. Shut up.

1:22:35

Okay, so on his

1:22:37

turn. I'm just gonna,

1:22:40

uh, hide behind this.

1:22:42

Where did that error

1:22:45

come from? I don't

1:22:47

know. I'm gonna get

1:22:50

you. It's a great

1:22:52

little man. Sure. So

1:22:55

vainy down there. Let's

1:22:58

get this fucking, let's

1:23:00

make it thing serious.

1:23:03

Need something in between

1:23:05

you. Yeah. Need my

1:23:08

dog. Oh shit, too

1:23:10

big. No, it's okay,

1:23:13

yeah. Need my dog.

1:23:15

Oh shit, too big.

1:23:18

No, it's okay, yeah.

1:23:20

I don't mind. Yep,

1:23:24

there's perfect. Thank you

1:23:26

very much perfect great

1:23:28

impetus. So it's short

1:23:30

then wolf then funk

1:23:32

So I can move

1:23:34

the the hand right

1:23:36

to this guy. I

1:23:38

don't need to recast

1:23:40

it But he does

1:23:42

need to make a

1:23:44

strength tape for a

1:23:47

disadvantage Oh, I'm so

1:23:49

strong though. You'll see

1:23:51

He does the zomba

1:23:53

He rolled of three

1:23:55

and it's a Oh,

1:23:57

you bitch! You don't

1:23:59

get it extra, little

1:24:01

man. And Fabulous erupts

1:24:03

in shadow and he

1:24:05

goes to move behind

1:24:07

this other penalty over

1:24:09

here. Oh, what a

1:24:11

bitch move. Oh my

1:24:13

God. Okay. I'm so

1:24:15

mad at this short

1:24:17

half. Okay. I'm starting

1:24:19

to want to spin

1:24:21

off of this guy

1:24:23

when we kill him

1:24:25

in hell. I'm not

1:24:27

going to lie. Gosh,

1:24:29

you found this really

1:24:31

cool guy. Yes. Guys

1:24:33

meet big C. Uh,

1:24:36

I think so. Can

1:24:38

you see a mark?

1:24:40

And it's that one.

1:24:42

This guy. No, this

1:24:44

guy. And it's... I'm

1:24:46

dead. You can't leave

1:24:48

your clothes all over

1:24:50

the couch. No

1:24:52

buddies, no buddies, no

1:24:54

buddies in hell. Did

1:24:57

you shave your legs

1:24:59

in the shower again?

1:25:01

All right, help that.

1:25:03

Okay, then the wolf,

1:25:05

sorry. So he is

1:25:08

restrained, wolf gets advantage.

1:25:10

Oh, we'll drop it

1:25:12

too to take a

1:25:14

914 that will not

1:25:16

hit. Cool. All right.

1:25:19

That concludes both our

1:25:21

terms. He's still restrained.

1:25:23

That is, oh wait,

1:25:25

shit, I almost forgot

1:25:27

guys. Oh, whoa, whoa,

1:25:29

I got to roll

1:25:32

for bad luck. Oh,

1:25:34

what's going on? Oh,

1:25:36

does that mean your

1:25:38

triple damage has ended?

1:25:40

Yeah, it is. Yes,

1:25:43

that means that's it.

1:25:45

Yeah. Yeah, it also

1:25:47

means I'm restrained for

1:25:49

those attacks. So that's

1:25:51

not great. I don't

1:25:54

like that. Makes me

1:25:56

so mad. I can't

1:25:58

tell if that voice

1:26:00

is horribly offensive. I

1:26:02

don't know. I don't

1:26:05

mean it to be.

1:26:07

I just need a

1:26:09

voice. I don't think

1:26:11

it's nice then. I

1:26:13

mean, I sent the

1:26:15

full body picture to

1:26:18

Ian and he really

1:26:20

liked it. I'm sure

1:26:22

he did. This was

1:26:24

made for Ian. Ian

1:26:26

not being present is

1:26:29

honestly the worst thing

1:26:31

I've ever done to

1:26:33

him. I see. And

1:26:35

this is warlocked patron

1:26:37

in the new campaign.

1:26:40

I might make it

1:26:42

short. I honestly might.

1:26:44

Don't do that. Oh

1:26:46

my God. I hear

1:26:48

me out, buddy. So

1:26:50

that's a beautiful thing

1:26:53

about devil packs. They

1:26:55

sound to them like

1:26:57

your choice who you

1:26:59

deal with. Right. You

1:27:01

don't get to pick

1:27:04

who you match up

1:27:06

with. I'm gonna give

1:27:08

you so much power,

1:27:10

but I'm not the

1:27:12

one you have to

1:27:15

talk into it. We'll

1:27:17

see. I don't think

1:27:19

you have to talk

1:27:21

into a very. Oof.

1:27:23

Freaky. Well, Jamieson, we're

1:27:25

back to you. No.

1:27:28

We need to roll

1:27:30

for good luck. Give

1:27:32

me a D20, please.

1:27:34

A 20 and something

1:27:36

magical happens. Wouldn't it

1:27:39

be cool if I

1:27:41

wrote a 20 here?

1:27:43

Oh, that hurt. 14.

1:27:45

14. 14. 14, good.

1:27:47

Uh, guess what? Everybody

1:27:50

this round has advantage

1:27:52

on saving throws. Okay,

1:27:54

okay. And it is

1:27:56

time to re-roll for

1:27:58

round four. It's gonna

1:28:00

be Blevins, Josephine Wolf,

1:28:03

Fonculus, short. Tatiana. Blevins

1:28:05

first really. Yep. So

1:28:07

I think let's see

1:28:09

I'm still holding concentration,

1:28:11

which is good. So

1:28:14

I just might go

1:28:16

in and go for

1:28:18

another two strikes. You're

1:28:20

a little off mic,

1:28:22

sir. Oh, sorry. Yes.

1:28:25

Two strikes coming in.

1:28:27

Fly in and try

1:28:29

his luck. You have

1:28:31

advantage because he's restrained.

1:28:33

Oh. Don't mind if

1:28:35

he hates it. I

1:28:38

bet he does. Oh,

1:28:40

he hates it. Oh,

1:28:42

he hates it. 22?

1:28:44

That'll hit. Oh my

1:28:46

God. You rolled a

1:28:49

one and a two

1:28:51

for your second attack.

1:28:53

So that first one

1:28:55

will hit though. I'm

1:28:58

also going to use

1:29:00

the last bardic inspiration

1:29:02

I have on the

1:29:05

shadow hound. Oh, interesting.

1:29:07

He wags his tail.

1:29:09

Spights are nice. You

1:29:11

got to roll damage

1:29:13

for your attack. Sorry,

1:29:15

I get so excited

1:29:18

about those inspiration dye.

1:29:20

6 damage though. I,

1:29:22

since he's below half

1:29:24

health, I have placed

1:29:26

his health bar on

1:29:28

the table. You can

1:29:31

see it now. Blevins

1:29:33

will fly back up

1:29:35

to his position. Josephine.

1:29:37

Hello. We're doing a

1:29:39

random round this time,

1:29:42

so we're doing random

1:29:44

skills. So we're doing

1:29:46

random skills. We're doing

1:29:48

random round this time,

1:29:50

so we're doing random

1:29:52

skills. It's got to

1:29:55

be twice. So here

1:29:57

we go. Whoo! Investigation!

1:30:01

Can I get an

1:30:03

investigation check, please? Sure.

1:30:05

Makes sense for a

1:30:07

book? Yeah, totally. That

1:30:09

was so close to

1:30:12

a 20. 15 just

1:30:14

clears it. That means

1:30:16

it goes up to

1:30:18

16 now. That is

1:30:20

five successes and two

1:30:22

failures. Okay. Yeah, she

1:30:25

do. You do. We

1:30:27

got this. Can I

1:30:29

get a survival check,

1:30:31

please? Sure. I definitely

1:30:33

need to survive. Oh,

1:30:36

that's a one. Oh,

1:30:38

let's go. We're gonna,

1:30:40

we're gonna re-roll that.

1:30:42

Are we? Oh, okay.

1:30:44

Yeah, coward. Yes, please.

1:30:47

No, you gotta do

1:30:49

that. That's just... God

1:30:51

damn it. Still not

1:30:53

good. 13 still fails.

1:30:55

You have... Do you

1:30:58

have a part against

1:31:00

fruition? You have a

1:31:02

part against fruition, right?

1:31:04

You do. Do you

1:31:06

want to use your

1:31:09

part of inspiration? You

1:31:11

only got a role

1:31:13

of three or higher,

1:31:15

Karen. Okay. That's all

1:31:17

you got to roll.

1:31:20

You see student you

1:31:22

well you did it

1:31:24

you just passed I

1:31:26

guess you don't do

1:31:28

summer school good job

1:31:30

mediocre ritual. This is

1:31:33

merely edible you're gonna

1:31:35

love it. That is

1:31:37

this is merely edible

1:31:39

you're gonna love it.

1:31:41

That is six successes.

1:31:44

Now you've almost done

1:31:46

it. There's one more

1:31:48

wrinkle. We'll get to

1:31:50

it. You have a

1:31:52

whole damn turn and

1:31:55

there's a big vani

1:31:57

short standing right in

1:31:59

front of you. I

1:32:01

think we need to

1:32:03

get rid of this

1:32:06

veney short. Let's take

1:32:08

it right in the

1:32:10

discord. Whatever that might

1:32:12

be. First thing it

1:32:14

pops into your head.

1:32:17

Combined that voice with

1:32:19

vaney short. Thank you.

1:32:21

I think we need

1:32:23

to get rid of

1:32:25

this veney short. Let's

1:32:28

cast lightning. At

1:32:30

fifth level. And

1:32:32

it needs to

1:32:35

do a dexterity

1:32:37

seven throw, please.

1:32:39

It does it

1:32:42

with disadvantage. Oh,

1:32:44

it's restrained. Oh,

1:32:47

well, drop that

1:32:49

to take a

1:32:51

fucking one. Oh,

1:32:54

gee. This short

1:32:56

was unstoppable until...

1:32:58

Well, 10. I

1:33:01

failed, so... All

1:33:03

right, and so

1:33:06

now we're going

1:33:08

to... Do your

1:33:10

worst. Damage? 26

1:33:13

damage. Fuck, that's

1:33:15

pretty bad. That

1:33:17

is pretty bad.

1:33:20

That's no good.

1:33:22

I don't like

1:33:25

it. That's it.

1:33:28

Dire wolf. Got you bite.

1:33:30

With advantage, with advantage. Oh

1:33:32

my god, that's a crit.

1:33:34

There it is. The effects

1:33:36

are great. I love it.

1:33:38

I kind of like. I

1:33:40

don't know. The only thing

1:33:42

I told somebody I'm worried.

1:33:44

because one of them is

1:33:46

just turds if you it's

1:33:48

the poop emoji over and

1:33:50

over again if you go

1:33:52

a crit fail and that's

1:33:54

funny until someone's having a

1:33:56

real bad day and that's

1:33:59

the final straw like I

1:34:01

don't think the poop emoji

1:34:03

is gonna do it Jason

1:34:05

you're okay I've had days

1:34:07

I've had days where it's

1:34:09

like like it's all over

1:34:11

screen it's like all right

1:34:13

okay like that's it fine

1:34:15

that's a lot of straw

1:34:17

man you you want to

1:34:19

roll to see if it's

1:34:21

on the crit table oh

1:34:23

shoot yeah I already roll

1:34:25

damage but yes please yeah

1:34:27

I mean plus part of

1:34:29

the yeah Well, wow, it's

1:34:31

a D6 to see if

1:34:33

it's on the table first.

1:34:35

Okay, well, I got excited.

1:34:37

Confirmation. Yep, you're fine. We're

1:34:39

going to take it. Oh,

1:34:41

that's good. You saved us,

1:34:43

you saved us looking. That

1:34:45

is a 16 gusher. The

1:34:47

target suffers the damage rolled

1:34:49

for this attack or spell

1:34:51

each round until he used.

1:34:54

Seven damage. Every time it

1:34:56

takes a turn. Wow. Yes.

1:34:59

Get on your knees,

1:35:02

short. Ooh, you know.

1:35:04

Okay, I'm on my

1:35:07

knees. What now? What

1:35:09

now? What are we

1:35:12

doing? Got me, Mr.

1:35:15

Big Man. Hmm. You

1:35:17

guys play rough. I'm

1:35:20

all tied up. I'm

1:35:22

down on my knees.

1:35:25

So vainy. Let's go.

1:35:29

I can't wait. I can't

1:35:32

wait for Breenell to ask

1:35:34

me what the fuck happened

1:35:37

in this very serious session

1:35:39

that I've been prepping and

1:35:42

talking about all day. Fonk.

1:35:44

Fonkulus, you're up. Fonkulus walks

1:35:47

out. He just leaves. Okay.

1:35:49

That's... Are you going? We

1:35:52

got well we got to

1:35:54

maintain the earthen grasp so

1:35:57

he can make as an

1:35:59

action you can cause a

1:36:01

hand to crush the restrained

1:36:04

target who must make a

1:36:06

strength saving throw. It takes

1:36:09

26 watching damage on a

1:36:11

failed save. This is at

1:36:14

disadvantage, obviously. Say, ooh, Mr.

1:36:16

Maine, you're gonna use the

1:36:19

hand to finish the job.

1:36:21

23. Yeah, no. Does that,

1:36:24

I don't think he gets

1:36:26

out, he just takes half

1:36:29

damage. He just takes, oh,

1:36:31

my God, really still takes

1:36:33

to, man. Just half damage,

1:36:36

one D6. It's the earthen

1:36:38

grasp. As a point of,

1:36:41

of, um. Is it 2D6

1:36:43

damage halved or is it

1:36:46

just 1D6 damage? It's 2D6

1:36:48

damage halved. Okay. Anything else?

1:36:51

Anything else? Do you want

1:36:53

to give me triple disadvantage?

1:36:56

Do you want to just

1:36:58

knock the mouse out of

1:37:01

my hand? What else? Oh,

1:37:03

okay, cool. Oh, we will

1:37:06

be doing it, yes. Let's

1:37:08

see. Let's see. Uh, let's

1:37:10

see. I'm fucking prone and

1:37:13

restraint, so I can't stand

1:37:15

up. I'm... fuck it. I'm

1:37:18

taking those eight fires. Fuck

1:37:20

it. I'm taking those eight

1:37:23

fires. Uh,