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EA is on is on Twitch! us Join
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live, plus access access of
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past broadcasts. Escape
0:37
Pod, 973 The
0:39
Forest, by
0:42
Simone Heller. Hello
1:08
and welcome to to Escape your
1:10
your fiction podcast. fiction I'm
1:12
Valerie I'm your host for
1:14
this episode. host for this episode. Our this
1:16
week this our final story of
1:19
the year. story of the Forest
1:21
by Simone Heller. by Simone
1:23
Heller. appeared in Life
1:25
Beyond Us, an original
1:27
anthology of SF stories
1:29
and science essays and by
1:31
Susan Forrest, by Susan Forrest, Lucas
1:33
K. Law, Julie May 2023. May
1:35
2023. Simone Heller lives on
1:37
on an island in the River Danube
1:39
in Regensburg, Germany. She has been
1:42
has been working as a literary translator
1:44
for over 15 years. Her first steps Her
1:46
first steps in writing in English were taken
1:48
in 2016 with a group with
1:50
a group of international writers in Munich,
1:52
and her short fiction has since
1:54
appeared in several magazines and anthologies. She
1:57
She loves learning all kinds of things.
1:59
words most of... but also history,
2:01
science, and everything about the
2:03
strange creatures of Earth, and
2:06
beyond. Our narrator this week
2:08
is Hugo Jackson. Hugo is
2:10
an author and streamer on
2:12
the East Coast of the
2:15
USA. Born in the UK,
2:17
they moved to the US
2:19
to view with their partner,
2:22
and have since published the
2:24
first three novels of a
2:26
five-book young adult fantasy series,
2:28
the resonance tetralogy, through inspired
2:31
quill. They also stream semi-regularly
2:33
on Twitch, username, Pangolin Fox,
2:35
and run a yearly charity
2:37
stream on World Pangolin Day
2:40
to raise money for one
2:42
of their favorite animals, the
2:44
aforementioned Pangolin. Now, get ready
2:46
for a love letter from
2:49
a tree to a visitor
2:51
from the stars, because it's
2:53
story time. by Simone Heller,
2:55
narrated by Hugo Jackson. It
2:57
is known that the rootless
2:59
are only ever leaving. Always
3:01
moving on, never embracing soil
3:03
long enough for connection. A
3:05
life tumbled and tossed, and
3:07
if it touches ours, it
3:10
is only by chance, and
3:12
ill chance more often than
3:14
not. But you came, in
3:16
a tumble and a glorious
3:18
blaze. by intention and by
3:20
ill chance. The night of
3:22
your arrival was almost by
3:24
undoing. You rode an incandescent
3:26
gust tearing into our rows,
3:28
escorted by a rain of
3:30
hot metal. The ground rippled
3:32
once with your impact outward
3:34
and onward quicker than the
3:36
fungal netwood could warn us.
3:38
When the air stilled and
3:40
the conversation erupted in bursts
3:42
of pain and fire, no
3:44
one knew what had crashed
3:46
down on us. We sucked
3:49
moisture from the deep, made
3:51
the lesser plants close their
3:53
ranks and smother the flames,
3:55
and we calmed the conversation
3:57
with memories of renewal and
3:59
regrowth. You had plummeted
4:01
from the sky, the fungal
4:03
network relayed, as the filament
4:05
reached out again to take
4:07
hold of the large swath
4:09
of churned and scorched soil,
4:11
of everything that lay fallen
4:13
and ready to decompose. Our
4:15
rootscape expanded anew, tasting the
4:17
damage and the altered lay
4:19
of the land. But one
4:21
blank spot persisted. One fragment
4:23
had not shattered, tumbling over
4:25
and over until it had
4:27
come to rest next to
4:29
me. its edge nicking a
4:31
branch. Neither root nor spore
4:33
found purchaser, and no matter
4:35
how far and wide the
4:37
conversation was carried, this sealed
4:40
structure remained unknown. It was
4:42
deemed to be not of
4:44
our soil, and as it
4:46
lay inert, it was deemed
4:48
to be not of our
4:50
interest either. We would claim
4:52
it, sooner or later, either
4:54
encapsulating it and burying it
4:56
as a curiosity in our
4:58
rootscape, Or it would yield
5:00
after all, as everything yielded,
5:02
to rain and root and
5:04
frost and fungus. It cracked
5:06
open on its own soon
5:08
enough, right there within my
5:10
reach. My sap-quenching stillness spread
5:12
through the conversation until the
5:14
whole forest seemed to pause.
5:16
Something fell out. Topling to
5:18
the ground as if it
5:20
caught in a storm with
5:22
no grovekin, it just lay
5:24
there. Thumping fear and exhaustion
5:26
against the soil in the
5:28
way of the rootless. My
5:30
excitement for the unknown, a
5:32
rootless from the sky, with
5:34
neither nest nor burrow known
5:36
to tree or spore, surged
5:38
as the filament flashed agitation
5:40
in its alienness. Not of
5:42
our soil. I felt delight.
5:44
The quickening of survival rushed
5:46
through my sapwood, and deeper
5:48
even, curiosity sprouted. I reached.
5:50
I reached. With leaves rustling
5:52
welcome, with a fragrance of
5:54
earthy solidity, I reached. And
5:56
you came. You lifted yourself
5:58
up, stumbling forward. totally crashed.
6:00
I was able to sense
6:02
your strangeness, a limb first
6:04
to catch your fall, then
6:06
your weight against me, sliding
6:08
down along my base where
6:10
it stayed, almost motionless except
6:12
for small, a rhythmic quivers.
6:14
You were big for a
6:17
rootless, but still fragile, and
6:19
possibly damaged from your violent
6:21
arrival. I wanted to help
6:23
and feed the conversation with
6:25
my findings, your size, your
6:27
mass, the desperate grasp of
6:29
your initial touch. My excitement
6:31
was met with polite disinterest.
6:33
To my grovekin and my
6:35
sapkin, the rootless were nothing
6:37
but a nuisance. Pests at
6:39
worst, inconsequential bearers of gifts
6:41
to seal alliances, found dynasties
6:43
and end wars at best,
6:45
and always good for erratic
6:47
behaviour. But I knew better.
6:49
There was a pattern in
6:51
their wayward bustling, and a
6:53
purpose to their actions, thoughtless
6:55
as they might seem. We
6:57
believe they didn't reach toward the
7:00
sun, but you had fallen from
7:02
the sky, and how much closer
7:04
could one get? I wanted to
7:06
know about the reaching and the
7:08
falling, about the origin of your
7:10
vagrant ways. So, as the strange
7:12
quivers against my trunk became more
7:15
infrequent, I decided to keep you.
7:17
You were restless. A flurry of
7:19
action lacking the patience to feel
7:21
how the sun fueled regrowth in
7:23
the field of debris. Sapplings were
7:25
selected to settle on the fire-primed
7:27
earth while you darted in and
7:30
out of the structure that had
7:32
encapsulated you, scattering and silencing the
7:34
smaller rootless with a resounding boom,
7:36
each time you seal your enclosure
7:38
and you. Your distress entered our
7:40
water and our soil, and the
7:42
surrounding kin promised each other, soon
7:45
it will wander off to distant
7:47
groves. They gracefully ignored my attempts
7:49
to woo you to stay. Next
7:51
to your enclosure, under the outmost
7:54
reaches of my canopy you started
7:56
to dig in the soil. You
7:58
were relentless, like a root trying
8:00
to raise... an unwanted rock to
8:02
gravel with a piece of debris,
8:04
a dead branch, your bare limbs
8:06
until the filaments tasted blood. I
8:08
would have helped, if I had
8:10
understood. You went inside and hauled
8:13
out a body, similar to yours
8:15
in all but minor differences in
8:17
weight and build, and another, and
8:19
another, placing them in the hole
8:21
one by one. You stayed at
8:23
their side, more rooted than your
8:25
kind is usually known for. When
8:27
you moved again, first you sprinkled
8:30
up turned soil on the bodies,
8:32
a well-considered offering to the filament.
8:34
Next came the tiniest droplets of
8:36
salty water. And last, you showered
8:38
them with a hum you created
8:40
on a thing you held. Its
8:42
vibration softly tinkling like warm raindrops
8:44
on my leaves. Slowly, as we
8:46
tasted your offering, I observed more.
8:49
The filaments did not discriminate, and
8:51
my grovekin wanted to know if
8:53
you carried new kinds of parasites
8:55
we would have to synthesize toxins
8:57
against. We learned about the metabolism
8:59
of the bodies in the ground,
9:01
their hormones, the dozens of fractures
9:03
in their bodies which let us
9:05
observe their density, and the processes
9:08
in their marrow. Faintly. Ever so
9:10
faintly, I found traces of unknown
9:12
soil. And they sent my thoughts,
9:14
spiralling outwards towards my spirit kin
9:16
in the conversation, those few and
9:18
far-away trees sharing my scholarly interests.
9:20
But I knew something else too.
9:22
You had to be lonely. It
9:24
was your kin who had joined
9:27
our soil, and while the wound
9:29
in the forest caused by your
9:31
fall was mending, the wound in
9:33
you was gaping open. All I
9:35
could offer was to enrich my
9:37
fruit with the substance as you
9:39
needed. To provide shelter and shade
9:41
things anyone with a shoot of
9:43
kindness would do for a lost
9:46
rootless. But never the murmur of
9:48
the conversation and the promise of
9:50
regrowth. Never the echoes of trees
9:52
who had struck root here since
9:54
the plates of the earth first
9:56
ground against each other for a...
9:58
the forest. You took my fruit,
10:00
and you lived through your wound,
10:02
collecting nourishment, water, dead wood for
10:05
your own ritual of fire, so
10:07
different and minuscule compared to our
10:09
roaring spectacles of burning and resettling.
10:11
You wore paths through the underbrush
10:13
until your presence felt like a
10:15
map imprinted on the land even
10:17
when you were hidden in your
10:19
enclosure. When dusk wove through the
10:21
canopy, you often rested at my
10:24
side. and brought the thing that
10:26
vibrates under your hands. It felt
10:28
like rain tinkling on my leaves,
10:30
with a deeper rhythm more akin
10:32
to your thumping blood than our
10:34
steady flow of sap. Its harmonics
10:36
resonated deep in my heartwood, even
10:38
if they were not meant for
10:40
me. Or maybe they were. I
10:43
was eager to find out what
10:45
they implied either way. There was
10:47
so much I wanted to ask
10:49
about your enclosure, your journey, the
10:51
piece of fabric you fixed on
10:53
one of my limbs first thing
10:55
every morning, and so much I
10:57
wanted to be asked. Had you
10:59
noticed the ferns I cultivated in
11:02
the crooks of my branches? Some
11:04
from spores usually found beyond the
11:06
great irrigation channel? I had collected
11:08
forty-nine sensations of extra fuzzy rootless
11:10
creeping along my leaves, never shared
11:12
with my kin, but maybe you
11:14
would appreciate them. At
11:16
night, when you were inside and
11:19
the conversation was a dream-like murmur,
11:21
I tried to imagine where you
11:23
came from. Was it a place
11:25
shaped by a forest too? And
11:27
did its eternal whisper mingle with
11:29
your tinkling there? Or did you
11:31
hail from stranger lands? I stayed
11:33
alert, contemplating the cool blackness of
11:35
the skies we all reached into.
11:37
The faint movements of light up
11:39
there, as if a sun-dappled stream
11:41
ran through the vastness. Far away
11:43
sons, my spirit kin said. when
11:45
their replies travelled back to me,
11:48
not worth wilting away for during
11:50
the nights. One sun was enough
11:52
to reach for. These were the
11:54
maps I lived by, the distant
11:56
suns wandering the skies, and you
11:58
forging a path through the forest.
12:00
Both patterns were strange to me,
12:02
uprooted, unhinged, but the other scholars
12:04
claimed the sons were reliable in
12:06
their revolutions, always coming back. And
12:08
so were you. You took such
12:10
great care to adorn me with
12:12
your piece of fabric every day,
12:15
and you sought my support, drawn
12:17
by your own kind of gravitropism.
12:19
You would lean on me, the
12:21
frenetic rhythm of your pulse relaxing
12:23
when I passed my solidity onto
12:25
you. Any injuries caused by your
12:27
arrival were healing nicely, leaving only
12:29
a stiffened ridge of tissue, thick
12:31
like sanitising wound wood, rendering your
12:33
gate slightly uneven. Our world had
12:35
welcomed you with a fall, but
12:37
I tried to catch you, best
12:39
I could. You began to tinker
12:41
on your enclosure in amiable tranquility,
12:44
and I enjoyed the companionship growing
12:46
between us. Such delicate structures you
12:48
handled, even my grove can consider
12:50
you something like our sculptors of
12:52
rock and ravine. They would marvel
12:54
even more when you revealed what
12:56
you were building. It had to
12:58
be something big. You spent more
13:00
and more time inside, and dull
13:02
echoes vibrated along the hull. You
13:04
gathered the devices you had attached
13:06
to me and some others to
13:08
sound us out to the core
13:11
with electrical impulses, and I imagined
13:13
you, like me, couldn't wait to
13:15
grow a deeper connection. What if
13:17
you built something to help us
13:19
understand each other better? I was
13:21
ready to do my part and
13:23
make it work. Then
13:25
one day the piece of wreckage
13:27
finally yielded. It would have been
13:29
long before you noticed, just a
13:31
hairline crack in its base, though
13:33
enough for the filament to squeeze
13:35
in and thrive in the recesses
13:37
you never touched, taste what was
13:39
hidden inside. It was a steady
13:41
trickle of discoveries as the filament
13:43
swept over the planes of materials
13:45
so smooth it could not enter,
13:47
intricate lattice and fibre structures, dancing
13:49
electric impulses. Impatience
13:51
is for the rootless, my grovekin admonished
13:54
when I kept nudging. We will be
13:56
here to inspect this structure long after
13:58
it has moved on. I learned you
14:00
spend most of your time in front
14:02
of a flickering wall of light to
14:05
let vibrations and shifting luminance wash over
14:07
you in an endless repetitive pattern that
14:09
held no clue to anything I wanted
14:11
to know. It was irrelevant. It was
14:13
not what you had prepared to bring
14:15
us closer together. Your great work stood
14:18
in the centre of the chamber. An
14:20
upright, stelted capsule that would have fitted
14:22
you just so. First I thought it
14:24
was some kind of new shelter you
14:26
built. A pod, a nest, a home.
14:28
It wasn't the marvel of structure I
14:31
had envisioned, but we would find other
14:33
ways to connect. I felt a surge
14:35
of joy anyway. To me, it looked
14:37
like settling. I should have known better
14:39
because you never once slept in it.
14:41
And even a muddle shoot such as
14:44
I shouldn't have forgotten what pods were
14:46
for. But it took until the filament
14:48
explored the whole shape of your enclosure
14:50
to see what it was, what you
14:52
were trying to do. Like
14:54
a flower waiting to bloom, the
14:57
canopy of the chamber was hinged
14:59
to fold back and open up
15:01
to the sky and the capsule
15:03
inside ready to pop out, to
15:05
carry away its precious cargo to
15:07
a far-away sun. All this time,
15:09
you had been preparing to leave.
15:11
It was always going to leave,
15:13
but we are here. My grovekin
15:15
murmured, while my sapkin sent soothing
15:18
sugars to my roots when I
15:20
went silent in the conversation instead
15:22
of enthusiastically accounting for your every
15:24
move. We are rooted, and you
15:26
are passers-by, and it was as
15:28
if we were living on two
15:30
different worlds, even if you hadn't
15:32
left yet. I had thought we
15:34
wanted to lean on each other
15:36
and learn from each other. Someone
15:39
who crossed the sun-dappled river of
15:41
the sky, who braved it despite
15:43
the chance of falling into the
15:45
darkness. Someone who left their own
15:47
soil behind had to be a
15:49
scholar like me. And here you
15:51
were, on a new world, a
15:53
world that had reached out to
15:55
you with supportive branch, with a
15:57
rootscape steeped in eons of growing.
16:00
I had thought you were as
16:02
curious as I was, and I
16:04
had been wrong. Very rarely you
16:07
took the time to bring your
16:09
humming thing to me, and I
16:11
noticed some of its harmonics were
16:13
missing. Its vibrations diminished. You let
16:15
its tinkling patter across the clearing
16:17
anyway. But I knew it had
16:19
never been for me. And it
16:21
hurt. It hurt so much that
16:23
I only noticed you hurt too,
16:25
when you didn't come out anymore,
16:27
and the forest began to erase
16:29
your paths from my maps. You
16:31
still hung your piece of fabric
16:33
on my branch every morning, but
16:36
it felt limp and crumpled, not
16:38
like something to display as proudly
16:40
as I had. Others might have
16:42
assumed you were eagerly preparing for
16:44
the moment the petals of your
16:46
canopy would open. But I knew
16:48
your light touch when you discovered
16:50
a delicious new fruit, the spring
16:52
in your step when you climbed
16:54
sturdy branches to face the wind
16:56
rustling over the rise and falled
16:58
of the forest for the first
17:00
time. Now you stomped across the
17:02
clearing, kicked your enclosure, repeatedly, and
17:04
there was no eager impatience in
17:07
your movements, just desperation. And no
17:09
one to soothe you in a
17:11
way you could understand, when sweet
17:13
sugars did not suffice. when you
17:15
needed to dissipate your hurt into
17:17
the all-enduring forest. No single being
17:19
should have to bear such pain.
17:21
I probed again, observing your earlier
17:23
efforts more closely. I found the
17:25
scaffolding you had built, the broken
17:27
and bent tools you had used
17:29
for gaining leverage, the scratch marks
17:31
on the tightly closed petals of
17:33
your metal flower. I felt the
17:35
weight of each petal so much
17:38
more than you, and the way
17:40
the impact had bent them in
17:42
shapes that would prevent their elegant
17:44
opening motion. You had tried your
17:46
best to pry and cut and
17:48
scrape, but your flower was never
17:50
going to bloom. And I understood
17:52
how the sky must have closed
17:54
up to you, completely out of
17:56
reach beyond your locked canopy. How
17:58
the other sons became an empty
18:00
dream and you felt stuck, robbed
18:02
of your vagrant nature, bound to
18:04
a life grounded and confined instead
18:07
of tumbled and tossed. One son
18:09
has always been enough, my grovekin
18:11
assured me when I emitted your
18:13
pain. And maybe I could try
18:15
and convince us both. There were
18:17
things for us to explore, strange
18:19
and far reaches of the rootscape
18:21
like a whisper in the background
18:23
of the conversation. But it was
18:25
not what you needed, not now.
18:27
Not now. as you kept facing
18:29
your wall of light, almost rooted
18:31
in whatever echoes and memories it
18:33
was evoking in you. You needed
18:35
the comfort, I was granted continuously
18:38
by the forest. So I primed
18:40
the filament once more for the
18:42
vibrations you let wash over you
18:44
in front of your wall, filtering
18:46
out the higher frequencies clearly produced
18:48
by you and others like you
18:50
in the repeating sequence, and focused
18:52
on the background rhythm. It
18:54
was nothing I had ever experienced, but
18:57
I could almost feel the soothing force
18:59
of its steady role. I sent it
19:01
out to my spirit, Kin, and were,
19:04
travelled far and wide in the conversation.
19:06
Favours were called in to cross borders,
19:08
and when replies trickle back, they came
19:11
from Strange Kin, who had ventured out
19:13
onto uninhabitable ground. We know. We share.
19:15
This is the urban flow surging around
19:18
our stilted roots, they said. The sea.
19:20
The unconquerable sea. Do you feel the
19:22
sharp nip of salt? I wanted to
19:25
feel the salt and everything else with
19:27
it, and I wanted to break it
19:29
down into its molecules and understand it.
19:32
For I knew you cherished this experience
19:34
above anything else, and I could give
19:36
it to you the way we used
19:39
to give the comfort of rain on
19:41
our leaves to our droughtland neighbours. I
19:43
called in more favours and recruited my
19:46
long-suffering grovekin to find trace elements to
19:48
accumulate in my sapwood for synthesizing something
19:50
this forest had never known. You
19:53
were abandoning your flower and yourself
19:55
within it, not even coming out
19:58
to hang your fabric anymore. electrical
20:00
pulses stilled one after the other,
20:02
and you stopped scraping off the
20:04
mosses claiming the ground. Life exploded
20:07
and it still felt lifeless after
20:09
you draped covers over the finer
20:11
structures and disabled your wall of
20:13
light. When you finally stepped out,
20:16
I was prepared. You didn't know
20:18
what I had released into the
20:20
air, but you stumbled right into
20:22
it. Every leaf of mine exuding
20:25
this strange sea smell so different
20:27
from the earthiness of our grove.
20:29
It hung in the air, briny,
20:31
fresh, ready to embrace you. And
20:34
I felt you swaying there, expanding
20:36
while you breathed in, drinking it
20:38
into every pore, this promise that
20:40
you were not alone. It wasn't
20:43
the rhythm and the light your
20:45
wall had shown you, but... As
20:47
you were drawn back to a
20:49
shore, even the strange stilted rootkin
20:52
couldn't imagine. You knew it. And
20:54
you knew me. You came to
20:56
gently pull down a twig and
20:58
press my leaves against your face,
21:01
breathing deeply. You let your calloused
21:03
fingers whisper over my skin, a
21:05
new map immediately ingrained in my
21:08
mind. You walked around me in
21:10
wonder, never breaking touch. Your steps
21:12
transmitting the lightness of climbing high
21:14
and probing deep the bounce of
21:17
discovery. When you stayed the whole
21:19
night instead of going back to
21:21
your enclosure to rest, I felt
21:23
I had become more than solidity,
21:26
more than a monument guarding your
21:28
dead kin. We scholars know the
21:30
rootless connection to the world is
21:32
often not by touch, but rather
21:35
your perception of light. And even
21:37
as you were touching me now,
21:39
what I felt was seen. After
21:42
that, you began wandering the grove
21:44
again. You didn't try to pry
21:46
open your flower anymore, and you
21:48
didn't even return to the inside
21:51
of your enclosure but once. You
21:53
walked around cautiously then, not to
21:55
dwell, but as if you were
21:57
an intruder, touching only the smallest
21:59
of things, tugging on a cover
22:01
there, trays. your fingers lightly along
22:03
a moss speckled surface there. Soon
22:05
you sealed your access hatch and
22:07
left, but you brought something with
22:09
you. I felt it in the
22:11
added weight and the hollowness of
22:13
it. Even if you didn't coax
22:15
out your rainfall tinkles anymore, you
22:17
carried the thing you made vibrate.
22:19
You stood there for some time,
22:21
and when you set it down
22:23
in the crook of my widest
22:25
roots, you didn't intentionally strum, but
22:27
it made the tiniest off-key quiver.
22:29
I had hopes, but only after
22:31
you fixed it there a little
22:33
bit more firmly, and you again
22:35
showed the understanding you had worked
22:37
out for yourself by sprinkling soil
22:39
on top of it. I knew,
22:41
you truly intended, it is a
22:43
gift. And what a gift it
22:45
was! I took my time tasting
22:47
it, filament first and rootwood later,
22:49
and I found something familiar in
22:51
its strange shape among bits of
22:53
metal and synthetics. Years upon years
22:55
of rooting and growing were embedded
22:57
in its wooden body, and I
22:59
sensed the faint echoes of far-away
23:01
forests, spaciously arrayed evergreens dreaming under
23:03
the weight of a wintery chill,
23:05
a tangle of mist and clasped
23:07
giants teeming with a flurry of
23:09
wildlife, mellow woodlands in the gentle
23:11
sway of ever-changing seasons. The forests
23:14
this would have been taken from
23:16
were old and alien, growing and
23:18
reaching like us, but different down
23:20
to the tiniest components of their
23:22
cells. They were forever beyond reach,
23:24
but they were kin nonetheless. Kin
23:26
across the skies, kin under a
23:28
different sun. Such was the gift
23:30
you gave me. I couldn't hold
23:32
it in. Jolted the root-scapes with
23:34
my prompts of taste, feel, hoping
23:36
it would reach my spirit can
23:38
make them understand. Ours is not
23:40
the only conversation. Other memories were
23:42
tangled within the wood. The ghosts
23:44
of caressing skin and dancing fingers.
23:46
Fragments of you like overtones to
23:48
the whispering of the wood. You,
23:50
clearly, among your spirit kin, cheered
23:52
and accompanied while you energetically entice
23:54
the hum from the wood. You,
23:56
alone, exploring a burbling stream in
23:58
adding your own tinkling to while
24:00
away the night. You clasping the
24:02
wood as if it supported you,
24:04
when a stranger's message opened the
24:06
sky to you and you got
24:08
thumping all over down to your
24:10
fingertips. And you, in a capsule,
24:12
suspended in the void with three
24:14
others, reaching for this body of
24:16
wood whenever you needed a piece
24:18
of something grown. A piece of
24:20
home. I almost felt the pulse
24:22
of being rootless, of being pulled
24:24
along and beyond the field lines
24:26
of our world. Would it be
24:28
so bad to leave? Would it
24:30
be nice to explore, to experience,
24:32
the places the rootscape that it
24:35
could never touch and our conversation
24:37
had never envisioned? No amount of
24:39
excitement would stir the interest of
24:41
my kin above a friendly rustle,
24:43
while they invoked the feeling of
24:45
the sun and the rain providing
24:47
for us, the soil reliably carrying
24:49
our weight and the weight of
24:51
our memories. Messages of comfort to
24:53
calm my strange thoughts. And yes,
24:55
the sun warmed me just as
24:57
well as ever, it raised caressed
24:59
my leaves just as gently, but
25:01
I felt it was not enough.
25:03
There was a longing for different
25:05
suns, suns I could never feel.
25:07
You knew this longing, it made
25:09
you reach. It made you fall.
25:11
But it shouldn't have tangled you
25:13
in roots you never wanted, cut
25:15
off from your own conversation. Shouldn't
25:17
have made you dwell in my
25:19
shade all miserable and yearning, the
25:21
sky like a mockery mockery above
25:23
you. I might not be able
25:25
to act upon my longing, and
25:27
I could never reach a distant
25:29
sun, but there was one thing
25:31
I could do, even if it
25:33
would hurt to lose you. We
25:35
are rooted, and while we are
25:37
not able to abandon our places
25:39
and leave, we are shapers and
25:41
shifters, and with the right approach,
25:43
we raise mountains. So I reached
25:45
towards the sun, and gathered my
25:47
strength. You didn't know. You were
25:49
focused on your own movement, into
25:51
a new shelter by my side,
25:53
draped in vines and cushioned with
25:55
mosses, and away from your failure.
25:58
Exploring the forest, though when you
26:00
climbed it was less... energetic and
26:02
never all the way up to
26:04
the canopy anymore. Ironically, we were
26:06
now as I had envisioned us
26:08
to be. We had an understanding,
26:10
you and I, that we were
26:12
akin in curiosity. You brought me
26:14
stones washed up in the riverbed,
26:16
rich in history with leaf imprints
26:18
from a long-lost nation. Smaller rootless
26:20
you found and nurtured, and maybe
26:22
you kept those for yourself, but
26:24
it was still a gift, nesting
26:26
in my branches, basking on my
26:28
leaves. Even if I had experienced
26:30
them a hundred times before in
26:32
the conversation, these gifts always felt
26:34
new after they passed through your
26:36
hands. I tried to do the
26:38
same for you, so you could
26:40
sense our world beyond your reach.
26:42
I may you smell the acrid
26:44
tang of the distant saltflats before
26:46
you left, where our mining kins
26:48
crystallized leaves chime in the wind.
26:50
Taste the sweet desert dew collected
26:52
in thorn-clad night forests, distilled into
26:54
a fruit. I wanted you to
26:56
consider us worth exploring, despite your
26:58
fall. All the while my grovekin
27:00
sent strength to me, no matter
27:02
what, even when you foolishly brought
27:04
saplings grown from my fruit out
27:06
to places where they were completely
27:08
unsuited for. So inconsiderate, these rootless,
27:10
they said. But you meant well,
27:12
and the filament took care of
27:14
the offshoots. I couldn't be bothered
27:16
much toiling away as I was.
27:18
To you, it must have seemed
27:21
crude, for I have always been
27:23
more of a dreamer than a
27:25
builder than a builder. But if
27:27
you ever felt disrespected by the
27:29
way I treated your abandoned enclosure,
27:31
you didn't complain. My roots found
27:33
and widened the cracks, and then
27:35
the real work began. Defying every
27:37
gravitropic impulse, I slanted my roots
27:39
upwards away from the soil, reaching
27:41
for the sky myself. Some things
27:43
had to yield along the way.
27:45
Walls bent and hull panels crashed
27:47
down, but never the capsule itself.
27:49
I'm not that clumsy. Upwards I
27:51
strained, ever upwards in the dark,
27:53
until I touched the canopy. I
27:55
noticed you sticking closer. Your circle's
27:57
getting smaller, more reluctant. And maybe
27:59
I too... too would have grown
28:01
a reluctant in my task because
28:03
I didn't want to lose you,
28:05
didn't want this pod to bear
28:07
you away yet. But roots have
28:09
their own momentum. As they strengthened,
28:11
metal bulged and tore, seems strained
28:13
and burst until I was the
28:15
only thing holding them together. The
28:17
canopy cracked, not elegantly as it
28:19
was supposed to, but under my
28:21
brute force. Still when the first
28:23
slanted rays of sunlight touched the
28:25
capsule inside, it was as beautiful
28:27
as any blooming. That's
28:29
when you realized what I was
28:31
doing, didn't you? After you hung
28:33
your piece of fabric each morning,
28:35
mended in so many of the
28:37
places now it felt small and
28:40
brittle, you wouldn't explore. You just
28:42
walked the clearing, stopping often to
28:44
take it in from every angle,
28:46
what was now fused, part root,
28:48
part wreckage. And when I had
28:50
finished my task, you went inside,
28:52
gingerly climbing through the broken hatch,
28:54
using the stick you had taken
28:56
to walking around with to lift
28:58
the covers you had placed. This
29:00
is where we are. You are
29:02
leaving. The petals of your flower
29:04
are crumpled, some have already fallen.
29:06
Before you, the sky unfolds. Before
29:08
me, the dream of your next
29:10
discovery, of the sun's you will
29:12
visit. And while you prepare to
29:14
leave, slowly making your way through
29:16
the root-shot interior of the wreckage,
29:18
touching capsule and console alike with
29:20
shaking hands, and while I sense
29:22
the awakening of the power that
29:24
will whisk you away, This is
29:26
what I wanted to tell you,
29:28
in every rustling leaf and every
29:30
pulse of sap. All the things
29:32
I can't say because the conversation
29:34
is eluding you. You need to
29:36
go and rejoin your own. I'll
29:38
never know the wonders you're going
29:40
to encounter on your way, and
29:42
I'll never thank you for your
29:44
gift of seeing me, of singling
29:46
me out in a vast forest.
29:48
I'll never know what you want
29:50
to tell me. Because that's what
29:52
you've been doing all this time,
29:54
haven't you. You talk to me
29:56
almost from the day we met
29:58
with these gentlemen vibrations you breathe
30:00
into the air. You're talking to
30:02
me now, passing my roots, your
30:04
hands unsteady, your whole being shaking.
30:06
A rumble builds up, pulsing slowly
30:08
first as your capsule wakes from
30:10
its hibernation, but gaining the irresistible
30:12
strength of an earthquake. No root
30:14
will hold you back, no matter
30:16
its strength. And when you hurry
30:18
to your shelter, I know, these
30:20
are your last preparations. To get
30:22
sustenance for the time you need
30:25
to unfold yourself into your pod
30:27
while it is shooting away. But
30:29
when you fumble your way back,
30:31
carefully planting your stick, it is
30:33
an armful of my saplings you
30:35
carry, cultivated from my fruit, the
30:37
ones you always try to spread
30:39
across the forest. It is them
30:41
you place into the capsule first.
30:43
This is when something in me
30:45
begins to sing, to the tinkling
30:47
of raindrops and the rhythm of
30:49
a distant sea. This is when
30:51
I allow my thoughts to shoot
30:53
up and accompany you, hurrying ahead
30:55
even faster and further than I
30:57
have ever dared to reach. But
30:59
you, with your shaking hands and
31:01
your unsteady step, you seal the
31:03
capsule off, and you back away.
31:05
The rumbling grows, and you are
31:07
not inside. You are, in fact,
31:09
at my side, and your hand
31:11
is on me. A map of
31:13
ridges and valleys against my skin.
31:15
No firmness left in your grip
31:17
in your grip. I brace against
31:19
the pain every departing pod causes
31:21
as its power surges. Woundwood will
31:23
soon seal these gifted roots as
31:25
they burn away in a blast
31:27
of heat. The forest is utterly
31:29
still. In the aftermath of the
31:31
thundering departure, none of the rootless
31:33
dare move. A pod caps your
31:35
once sprung is gone for good,
31:37
out of reach, but I know
31:39
it is on its journey. These
31:41
are our saplings I want to
31:43
shout into the conversation. but only
31:45
you are still able to follow
31:47
their course bent back to see
31:49
them shoot across the sky. I
31:51
wish them luck on their flight
31:53
and should they ever fall I
31:55
hope they are met by You
31:57
stayed. You are leaning on me
31:59
harder than ever. are
32:01
leaning on me
32:03
harder than ever, your
32:06
fingers slowly sifting through the
32:08
soil after you sit down. your soil
32:10
now It is your soil now
32:12
waiting to a conversation waiting to
32:14
be joined. my You stayed,
32:17
while my saplings are farther away
32:19
every moment and the joy of
32:21
knowing both runs through me like
32:23
a sun -dappled river. river. Evening Evening approaches,
32:25
you take a and you take a
32:27
slow walk around the clearing, filament
32:30
already claiming the scattered remnants of
32:32
the wreckage. Your
32:34
shuffling steps are gentle, almost too
32:36
light for me to sense on
32:38
the upturned soil as you walk
32:40
in the dusk. me to sense on the upturned
32:42
it is said, walk in the by, only
32:45
ever said, are passers-by, they may
32:47
try for roots, But they
32:50
and we may try for
32:52
new we may try for new suns.
32:54
we may both find completion
32:56
in in trying. Once
33:18
again, that was was Forever the
33:20
by Simone Heller. Heller. The The author
33:22
had this to say about
33:24
her story. I love I love
33:26
stories that explore and try
33:28
to to a different different Like
33:30
literary translating, which is my
33:32
day job, it is an exercise
33:34
in failure, it an up interesting
33:36
spaces. but opens up interesting spaces. As the year comes to
33:38
an the year comes to an
33:41
end, it feels fitting to
33:43
close things with a story about,
33:45
on one hand, helping a
33:47
stranger to survive and thrive in
33:49
an unfamiliar and sometimes hostile hostile
33:51
place, and on the other hand,
33:53
making a new home
33:55
when the hope
33:58
for returning to the
34:00
past is gone. is
34:02
gone. We humans humans often
34:04
misunderstand. each other, misinterpret things, and
34:07
cause harm whether it's intentional or not.
34:09
But we also have a vast capacity
34:11
for solidarity and altruism, for empathy and
34:14
caregiving. Despite the endless hostility of which
34:16
our species is capable, every day we
34:18
see examples of people refusing to give
34:20
up, to give in, to accept what
34:23
appears inevitable and succumb to futility and
34:25
nihilism. We continue to strive to strive
34:27
to strive to strive to strive to
34:29
strive to strive bleak as our situations
34:32
may become, uncertain as their outcomes may
34:34
be. Even when we cannot hope to
34:36
see the results of our efforts, like
34:38
the character in this story, we can
34:41
load our escape pods with saplings and
34:43
send them rocketing into the future for
34:45
the next generation. Every ending carries with
34:47
the seeds of a new beginning, as
34:50
long as we're willing to keep planting
34:52
them. Escape
34:57
POD is part of the Escape
34:59
Artists Foundation, a 501c3 nonprofit, and
35:01
this episode is distributed under the
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our our closing quotation this week
37:04
is from Ursula K. from said,
37:06
Kaleguin, each of us alone us
37:08
be sure. to be sure? What can
37:10
you do do hold your hand
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out in the dark? the dark? Thanks
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Thanks for joining us may may
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your escape be fully stocked with
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