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battery warranty details. Okay, hi guys, my

0:30

name is Shade and Beverage. Welcome back to

0:32

X's and O's. I already know I'm going

0:35

to regret that I wore my hair down,

0:37

but I just took a shower, it's air

0:39

drying, I don't want to put a crease in

0:41

it. And also, might as well just give

0:43

you guys a hair length reveal? Here

0:45

it is. It's been about a solid year

0:47

of awkward hair length for me. I feel

0:50

like I'm like this close to not being

0:52

awkward. I feel like I look like

0:54

Jesus or Tarzan and I like can't

0:56

unsee it. I cannot unsee it. But

0:59

I'm like, oh my God, I'm so...

1:01

I really want it to get to

1:03

like a normal length that I

1:05

like before my tour, which if

1:08

you don't know I'm going on

1:10

tour in March, March 5th to

1:12

March 21st, starts in Toronto.

1:14

ends in LA. Please come to

1:16

a show. My birthday is March

1:18

19th and I'll be in San

1:20

Francisco. So if you're in San

1:22

Fran, come celebrate my birthday with

1:25

me. But I'm praying that it

1:27

will get to like a normal

1:29

length by the tour starting, but

1:31

I'm so scared it's not gonna.

1:33

And if it doesn't, I think I

1:35

have to cut it and go short again,

1:37

which means I just spent a

1:39

year of my life growing my

1:42

hair out for nothing. Or at least

1:44

that's how it feels. It's just

1:46

such a strange length, like I

1:48

cannot... I don't know what to do.

1:50

It's driving me crazy. But anyway,

1:53

here it is, in case you didn't

1:55

know. Welcome back to my room. This

1:57

is the first time I'm back in

1:59

my room. This year, probably, right?

2:01

Yeah. Welcome back to my room. I

2:03

just got back on Saturday, today's Tuesday.

2:06

I just got back Saturday from a

2:08

week-long cruise, and my intro last week

2:10

was very short, and I was on

2:12

the cruise, and I gave no context

2:14

about the cruise. I gave no context

2:17

before the cruise. I don't think I

2:19

even told anyone I was going on

2:21

a cruise. But in that intro, I

2:23

am like... deathly ill. I was getting

2:26

so seasick. After that night, my my

2:28

step-sisters boyfriend gave me these like dremamine

2:30

patches that go behind your ears and

2:32

it like made a world of difference.

2:34

But when I was filming that intro,

2:37

I was like, I'm gonna die on

2:39

this boat. Like I felt so sick

2:41

and then knowing I had to like

2:43

edit all of that and then do

2:46

my ads and do all these things.

2:48

I was like, I don't think I

2:50

could do this. Like I literally was...

2:52

I was on the verge of a

2:54

panic attack in that intro, which I

2:57

wonder, there's probably no way you could

2:59

tell. I don't know. Go rewatch it

3:01

and see if you notice, but you

3:03

probably can't. But I could not, like,

3:05

for the life of me, talk any

3:08

more than I had to. Like, I

3:10

had to just be, like, in, out.

3:12

done. But today I was just going

3:14

to tell you guys a little bit

3:17

more about my cruise, why I was

3:19

on a cruise for a week. I

3:21

feel like because I went on two

3:23

cruises. I've been on two week long

3:25

cruises in the span of a year,

3:28

not both in 2025. Thank God, I

3:30

don't know how anyone could do that.

3:32

But in the span of a year,

3:34

I've been on two week long cruises

3:36

and both were just like family things.

3:39

But I feel as though it's looking

3:41

like I love cruises. I need you

3:43

to know I don't love cruises that

3:45

much. Not enough to be going on

3:48

week-long cruises twice in one year. A

3:50

week-long cruise also really not for the

3:52

faint of heart. That is a long

3:54

time on a ship. That is a

3:56

long time on a ship. But my

3:59

stepbrother got married. on the boat on

4:01

the cruise. So he got married to

4:03

his wife now and the like ship

4:05

captain married them. It was a very

4:08

like, it's like, I feel like it's

4:10

a once in a lifetime experience

4:13

to see two people get married in

4:15

the middle of the ocean. I loved

4:17

it. It was awesome. I'm so happy

4:19

for them. It was like such a

4:21

fun quick ceremony, but then like a

4:24

long celebration. So if you ever were

4:26

wanting like a long celebration and like

4:28

having all your people together, like a

4:30

cruise is a great option because we

4:32

did hang out a lot. Like we were really

4:35

hanging out a lot and it was my whole.

4:37

I don't know how much y'all know about

4:39

my family. I think a lot of people

4:41

who followed me for a long time know

4:43

and like I've talked about it like. intermittently,

4:46

but I don't know if everyone

4:49

knows, but my mom and dad

4:51

both got remarried after they divorced

4:53

each other. I had step-siblings from

4:55

both of those marriages and

4:58

I had like, yeah, and then my

5:00

dad got re-divorced. How do

5:02

I explain this? It's like, if I

5:04

can show you all my family tree,

5:06

you'd be very confused, like, laid out

5:08

for you. You'd be like, what? So

5:11

let me just explain in a quick

5:13

way, but my dad... was married to a

5:15

woman whose son got married on

5:17

the cruise, who was my step-sibbling stepbrother

5:19

brother for 10 years of

5:22

my life, him and my

5:24

little sister. So we are like

5:26

siblings to each other. I say step,

5:28

just because I feel like if I

5:31

don't clarify, people would be like, wait,

5:33

I thought you only have one, like

5:35

sister, I do technically have one older

5:38

sister, Casey, who you guys know from

5:40

the podcast, but I do have these

5:42

two siblings. from my dad's marriage after

5:44

my mom that are still like near

5:47

and dear and I love them so

5:49

much. So my brother got married on

5:51

the cruise, but it was just such

5:54

a funny, interesting dynamic because

5:56

he was there obviously my

5:58

ex-step mom was there with her

6:00

new partner. My dad was there and

6:03

so was my, so was my brother's

6:05

like biological dad. So there was like

6:07

three dads, three dads there. I'm sure

6:09

so many people were like, huh. I

6:11

think maybe probably if you were looking

6:14

at like our dinner table from afar,

6:16

it probably looked like uncles. Like they

6:18

had a lot of uncles, but now.

6:20

Much more interesting than that. We tried

6:22

out to be on family feud on

6:24

the boat and we got picked to

6:27

do it like you go and you

6:29

do the show But the tryout the

6:31

second round of tryouts was during the

6:33

wedding so we didn't get to do

6:35

it But we told them we came

6:37

in you have to like come up

6:40

with a name and we told them

6:42

our name was the X steps because

6:44

like we were step related and now

6:46

we're technically not like by law And

6:48

then we also, I went on the

6:50

cruise with my best friend Christie and

6:53

we told them we were like lesbian

6:55

lovers to try to like add to

6:57

the narrative. We're like, we're lesbians. These

6:59

are like steps. Anyway, it would have

7:01

been so funny if we got to

7:04

do it, but we didn't because the

7:06

wedding and obviously the wedding was much

7:08

more important and it was beautiful and

7:10

it was fun. Unfortunately, the weather was

7:12

terrible the whole week. That also contributed

7:14

to the boat moving a lot and

7:17

my sea sickness. So, but I survived,

7:19

I had the best time, I had

7:21

a great time. It was like a

7:23

really, a really nice treat to get

7:25

to hang out with my brother and

7:27

sister because I don't get to hang

7:30

out with them that much and I

7:32

definitely don't get to hang out with

7:34

them like for that long that can

7:36

find that like. that never happens because

7:38

we live all over like my I

7:41

live in LA my brother lives in

7:43

Lubbock and my sister lives in Denver

7:45

and then my sister Casey lives in

7:47

New York so like we never get

7:49

to spend that much time together so

7:51

it was really nice for that reason

7:54

it was so so so nice but

7:56

yeah I wish the weather had been

7:58

better and just this a week on

8:00

cruise is just, it's a lot. That's

8:02

a long, by day five I

8:04

couldn't believe there were two

8:07

more days. I was like, there's

8:09

no way. There's no way. We're not

8:11

going to make it off this

8:13

boat. But look at me. I survived.

8:15

I'm paler now than when I

8:18

got on the boat somehow, but

8:20

it was worth it. It

8:22

was definitely worth it. It's

8:24

crazy to be going through... It's

8:27

crazy to be going through a

8:29

breakup. It's crazy to be going

8:31

through a public breakup. It's crazy

8:33

to be going through a breakup

8:35

publicly with two people who

8:37

have a podcast like that's

8:39

weird. That shouldn't happen. That

8:42

really shouldn't happen. But I just

8:44

want to say that One,

8:46

the next few episodes that

8:48

come out are like pre-recorded.

8:50

There, I don't know even

8:52

when all of them are

8:54

recorded. Some are recorded in

8:56

December, some are recorded in

8:58

January, all at the beginning

9:00

of the month. And I was like

9:02

really in and out of like really,

9:05

really heavily disassociating from my

9:07

breakup at the time because

9:09

I wasn't in LA. It

9:12

didn't feel like it actually happened.

9:14

Like I know it happened

9:16

obviously I knew it happened

9:18

but I was really avoiding the

9:20

reality of my life so I

9:23

don't remember what I talk about

9:25

usually on the podcast I don't

9:27

exactly know as these episodes roll

9:29

out like where I was in

9:31

those feelings so just take it

9:33

with a grain of salt I

9:35

don't I'm not I don't think

9:37

I get that much into it

9:40

that often but like I'm just

9:42

I guess just like a Just

9:45

a pre-warning like I don't know

9:47

What where I was what I was doing

9:49

what I was thinking at that time

9:51

other than being like this didn't happen.

9:54

This is not happening to me. Anyway,

9:56

I left December 21st. I didn't come

9:58

back to LA until January,

10:00

oh my gosh, I don't

10:03

even remember. The day before

10:05

my cruise, I was in

10:07

town for one day, I

10:09

went on a cruise for

10:11

a week, and then I

10:13

finally got back on Saturday.

10:16

And exactly what I thought

10:18

was gonna happen happened, where

10:20

I walked in my door

10:22

from the cruise, and I

10:24

was like, oh my God,

10:26

I'm going through a breakup.

10:29

And that might sound crazy,

10:31

but like it literally almost

10:33

felt like Saturday was like

10:35

day one of my breakup,

10:37

which obviously it was not.

10:39

But in a lot of

10:42

ways, like I think I

10:44

was just pushing off a

10:46

lot of feelings being like,

10:48

they'll land when they land,

10:50

they'll land when they land,

10:53

and yeah, they started to

10:55

land, started to land on

10:57

Saturday this week, which is

10:59

Obviously just like there's we

11:01

as people we like have

11:03

so many survival techniques and

11:06

like ways to protect ourselves

11:08

and the ways that they

11:10

come out are so interesting

11:12

and they're so different for

11:14

every person but I know

11:16

myself well enough that I

11:19

kind of saw that coming

11:21

so the last few days

11:23

have been not awesome Emotionally,

11:25

just emotionally, my own emotions.

11:27

Like, it's not about anything

11:29

happening, just like me. Kind

11:32

of processing things. And I

11:34

also came to the realization

11:36

that, as many of you

11:38

know, I live alone now.

11:40

This is the first time

11:42

I've ever lived alone and

11:45

been single. And it is

11:47

just like, it's just an

11:49

adjustment, like a whole new.

11:51

It's never been my life

11:53

before. Like I'm not used

11:56

to... It's not even been

11:58

a week. It's Tuesday. It's

12:00

like four days. It's like

12:02

no time at all, but

12:04

I'm really not used to

12:06

being this like alone.

12:08

Obviously, I know I'm

12:11

32. I'm sure someone, I'm

12:13

sure so many people are

12:15

like, you should be used

12:17

to it. But like, I'm

12:19

just not. So it's sad.

12:21

I'm just so sad. It's

12:24

like, it's just so

12:26

lonely, like I'm lonely.

12:28

But there are positives obviously

12:30

there's always there's always There's

12:32

two edges to every sort what the fuck

12:34

am I saying I don't know but there

12:36

are like positive things of like okay I

12:38

can just kind of do what I need

12:41

to do whenever I need to do it

12:43

which is different It's just like a different

12:45

feeling even just not having a roommate like

12:47

I can just like get up when I want

12:49

to get up and do what I'm doing and

12:51

like no one has any no one's waiting for

12:53

me to like make plans Like I have

12:56

friends and I have like my job

12:58

but you know having like a relationship

13:00

is such a It's like

13:02

your day in and day out life and

13:04

now my day in and day out

13:06

life is so different like and I'm

13:08

like back finally in my own

13:10

house instead of being in New

13:13

York or on a fucking boat

13:15

in the middle of the ocean

13:17

like I'm in my house thinking

13:19

like oh well usually probably on

13:21

this day I'd be doing this thing.

13:23

And on this day I'd be

13:25

doing this thing. But instead

13:27

I'm like, again, what do

13:29

I do? What am I supposed to

13:32

be doing? And obviously

13:34

just like, yeah. It's a weird,

13:36

it's a weird thing. So weird.

13:38

I want to like communicate

13:41

my feelings about how I'm

13:43

feeling and I also don't

13:45

want it to seem like

13:47

I'm trying to like communicate

13:50

through my podcast to. my

13:52

ex but like obviously this is

13:54

my podcast so I should talk about what I

13:56

want to talk about but I'm not trying to

13:58

like make just trying to like It's

14:01

like I can't really say all

14:03

the things I would want to

14:05

say because then Yeah, I mean

14:08

I can I just I guess

14:10

like it's just like you I

14:12

miss someone so deeply like it's

14:15

like This part of my life

14:17

that was so my life especially

14:19

my life here and this like

14:21

this house this place like I'm

14:24

like These things are your things

14:26

these things are your things these

14:28

things are my things You're not

14:31

going to use these things anymore.

14:33

Like contact cases and stuff like

14:35

that. That's not mine. I don't

14:37

wear contacts. Anyway, it's just like

14:40

a lot. It's just like a

14:42

lot of, it's just normal. I

14:44

mean, I guess also if you

14:47

ever go through a breakup or

14:49

you're going through a breakup, these

14:51

are just like normal things I

14:53

think that happen and like. I

14:56

don't know. I think just, I'm

14:58

trying to like figure out the

15:00

right amount of sharing how I'm

15:03

feeling. And I don't know that

15:05

I'll ever know exactly what that

15:07

is. But right now, because I'm

15:09

telling you genuinely, and I knew

15:12

I was doing this, but I

15:14

genuinely like Saturday felt like the

15:16

first day of my breakup. So

15:19

I'm like behind, I like very

15:21

behind in processing emotions, like breakup

15:23

emotions. I'm I'm going to therapy

15:25

like every week. So I'm also.

15:28

I am processing emotions, but I'm

15:30

also very analytical with my feelings.

15:32

So I can be like, I

15:35

can know stuff about my feelings

15:37

and I can know the reality

15:39

of things and like think about

15:41

it. But feeling feelings for me

15:44

is a lot more complicated for

15:46

lots of reasons. You'd have to

15:48

talk to my therapist. But yeah,

15:51

I guess I'm like finally feeling

15:53

my feeling. So I'm like finally

15:55

feeling my in a way more

15:57

real way than what I was

16:00

feeling. when I wasn't here,

16:02

if that makes sense.

16:04

Anyway, I know everything

16:07

will be okay, and

16:09

if you're going

16:12

through a similar

16:14

thing, everything will

16:16

be okay, you'll be

16:19

okay. But yeah.

16:21

Break-ups are just

16:23

terrible. We really should,

16:26

no one should do

16:28

it. Okay. Okay. I'm going

16:30

to go avoid my feelings. No, I'm

16:32

kidding. I'm going to feel my feelings

16:35

because I can't avoid them in

16:37

the four walls of this fucking house.

16:39

Four. There's a lot more walls

16:41

than that, but you know what

16:43

I'm saying. Anyway, enjoy this episode.

16:45

Nico is so funny and such

16:47

a good comedian if you are

16:49

looking for comedians that kind

16:51

of are more queer and like

16:54

speak to you. I highly recommend you checking

16:56

out all of his content, all of

16:58

his socials are below, he's going on

17:00

tour, so if you are somewhere in

17:02

America, I think it's in America, but

17:04

I will have the links below. Catch

17:07

him on tour. All right, and catch me

17:09

on tour, come to my tour. Also,

17:11

I just dropped a new friend of

17:13

Dorothy Hat that's like a baseball cap,

17:16

because I know a lot of people

17:18

had asked for it in the past.

17:20

It's literally just like a dad hat

17:22

and it's embroidered and it's the same

17:24

logo as the like more trucker style

17:27

hat. But yeah, you can buy that.

17:29

It's available now. Get it while it's

17:31

there, because I think it's a limited

17:34

amount. Okay. Love you guys. Hey

17:36

there, Ryan Reynolds here. It's a new

17:38

year and you know what that means.

17:40

No, not the diet. Resolutions. A way

17:42

for us all to try and do

17:44

a little bit better than we did

17:46

last year. And my resolution, unlike Big

17:48

Wireless, is to not be a raging

17:50

and raise the price of wireless on

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you every chance I get. Give it

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a try at MintMobile.com/switch. $45 up front

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payment required equivalent to $15 per

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month. customers on first three month

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plan only, taxes and fees extra,

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speed slower above 40 gigabytes on

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unlimited, see MintMobile.com for details. Hey

18:07

everybody, my name is Bob the

18:10

Dragway. And I'm on Exchange. And

18:12

we are the host of Sibling

18:14

Rivalry. This is the podcast where

18:16

two best friends gab and talk

18:18

smack and have a lot of

18:20

fun with our black queer selves.

18:22

Yeah for sure you know we

18:24

are family so we talk about

18:26

everything honey from why we don't

18:28

like hugs to black lives matter

18:30

to interracial dating to other things

18:32

right by yes and it gets

18:35

messy and we are not afraid

18:37

to be wrong so please join

18:39

us over here as civil robbery

18:41

available anywhere you get your podcast

18:43

you can listen and subscribe for

18:45

free honey Okay,

18:57

hi guys, my name's Shannon Beverage, welcome back

19:00

to Ex-Is-N-O's, a podcast where we talk about

19:02

queer relationships and sex, and I'm here in

19:04

New York, I'm so excited for my guest

19:06

today, his name is Nico Kearney, he is

19:09

a comedian, you may recognize him from the

19:11

Seth Myers show, or Tik-Tok, or anywhere, or

19:13

Netflix, didn't you do something on Netflix? Yeah.

19:15

Okay. Fucking awesome. Thank you. How's that feel?

19:18

Yeah, thanks so much for having me. Yeah,

19:20

it was cool. I did this I did

19:22

Netflix's festival back in 2022 Cool. So they

19:24

were doing like a new faces kind of

19:27

of comedy introducing yada yada So yeah, it

19:29

was really cool. It was like my first

19:31

big like industry opportunity. So it was very

19:33

cool. You're young now. So you were yeah.

19:36

Yeah, I was 24 When I did that,

19:38

yeah, so it was like, and it was

19:40

my first, like, big. I had really been

19:42

doing comedy in New York for, like, a

19:45

year at that point. So it was, like,

19:47

really, quite quick. That's really crazy. Yeah, it

19:49

was cool. That, like, doesn't happen. No, I'm

19:51

very, I was very, uh, it kind of

19:54

all happened at once. I, like, like, all

19:56

happened at once, I, like, like, submitted for

19:58

it. the audition went well and I was

20:00

like well that went well that's good and

20:03

then I got a call like a week

20:05

later that's like you're coming at LA in

20:07

a month and I was like oh my god

20:09

that's wild so crazy I mean comedy especially I

20:11

feel like some people go for like 10 years

20:13

without having any break at all right yeah it's

20:16

tough I mean it's like you know obviously like

20:18

anything it's you know right place right time and

20:20

like a little bit of luck and a little

20:22

bit of effort yeah it goes a long way

20:24

but it's yeah I think I think I think I think

20:26

I think I think I I'm a trans guy so

20:29

I talk a lot about being trans and

20:31

my in my experience and I think that

20:33

that's something that people obviously want to talk

20:35

about right now. Topical for sure. Yeah, but they

20:37

don't know how or like the comics who do

20:39

talk about it largely are saying things that

20:41

are offensive or just like even if they're

20:43

not overtly offensive they're kind of first thought.

20:45

Yeah. But it's clearly on the cultural mind

20:47

right now and so I think that I...

20:49

You know it just like I said right

20:51

place right time. I think my material

20:53

just sort of lent itself to being

20:55

like oh This is like an actual

20:58

perspective on this totally and a fresh

21:00

one and It's like your comedy is

21:02

very light-hearted, which I feel like is nice

21:04

right now for For giving if that's bad

21:06

to say, but you know what I mean?

21:08

Like it's like digestible in a way that

21:11

I feel like maybe for some of these

21:13

people who are like truly just like scared

21:15

of trans people. They're like oh this is

21:17

like scared It shouldn't matter anyway, but you

21:19

know what I mean? But definitely, yeah, and

21:21

I think that's something that happens for like,

21:23

you know, I think a lot of trans people, you

21:25

know, other trans comics and stuff, and

21:28

obviously there's a bazillion great trans comics.

21:30

But rightfully so, so I think a lot of

21:32

people are feeling angry or just, you know, like, or,

21:34

you know, it's obviously also very scary to get up

21:37

in front of an audience, sort of regardless, but when

21:39

you know you're the only trans person in the room,

21:41

it's like, Jesus Christ, and I'm on stage right now. So

21:43

I think people have this sort of, you know, a lot

21:45

of bits are like, you know, a lot of bits are like,

21:47

you know, a lot of bits are like, you know, you know,

21:49

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

21:52

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

21:54

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

21:56

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

21:58

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to stick a

22:00

little bit more to my own stories or just try

22:02

to figure out like I think people are really interested

22:04

in the way that like you know my life has

22:06

changed or the way that people perceive me has changed

22:09

and there's always something really funny I think to an

22:11

audience about like being in on the joke of knowing

22:13

this about me before the person in the story knows

22:15

yeah so I think that that's like a little bit

22:17

more fun for people to like ease into then if

22:19

they feel like it's like oh it's about me and

22:21

that's not to shade anybody that does that kind of

22:24

material but I think that is something that's been yeah

22:26

yeah they're like almost on your team yeah from the

22:28

jump yeah this is a story about us knowing something

22:30

no one else knows like you don't have to feel

22:32

like you understand trans culture to like understand the joke

22:34

I'm about to tell yeah which is I mean what

22:36

a skill also to do it that way yeah I

22:38

feel like that's easier said than done yeah I'm sure

22:41

I can't believe, did you go to school for, not

22:43

for, can you go to school for a comedy? I

22:45

think you probably can now. Are you sure they're like

22:47

making programs for it now? I didn't, I didn't go

22:49

to NYU or any like film school or anything. I

22:51

was actually, I went to Wake Forest in North Carolina.

22:53

Cool. Cool. I played soccer there. So I played soccer

22:55

there. So I was like a soccer there. So I

22:58

was like a soccer kid my whole life. And then

23:00

I played through school through school through college and then.

23:02

Yeah, you were like so hyper focused. Yeah, I think

23:04

that was like, I don't know, I'm sure, I'm sure

23:06

you have your version of this too, but for me,

23:08

that was my like, oh, I'm closeted and I don't

23:10

know what else to do with my time, so I'm

23:13

just gonna be really good at soccer. And, you know,

23:15

spend my time being like, let's go. Hyper focus on

23:17

something. Yeah, yeah. And so I didn't, but then when

23:19

I was a junior in junior in college, I started

23:21

getting, there was a sketch group on campus, there was

23:23

a sketch group on campus, like a sketch group on

23:25

a sketch group on a sketch group on a sketch

23:27

group on a sketch group on a sketch group on

23:30

a sketch group, like a sketch group, like a sketch

23:32

group, a sketch group, a sketch group, a sketch group,

23:34

a sketch group, a sketch group, a sketch group, a

23:36

sketch group, a sketch group, a sketch comedy group, a

23:38

sketch comedy group, a sketch comedy group, And I saw

23:40

one of their shows and I was like, this looks

23:42

amazing. Like how were they doing this? And so then

23:44

I was just like, well, I'm not gonna play pro.

23:47

I might as well, like, do other things and just

23:49

spend all my time playing soccer. So I started then

23:51

and then kind of like after COVID is when I

23:53

really like took it seriously. I got into it. It's

23:55

cool because you've also had, it doesn't seem like you've

23:57

done kind of like a traditional, I feel like so

23:59

many people. of our age or like this generation, I'm

24:01

older than you, but you went the tick-talk route,

24:04

like straight tick-talk and not necessarily working on

24:06

like five-minute, ten-minute sets, but did you do

24:08

a tick-talk like really? Or did you go

24:10

straight into like relational comedy? I've always been

24:13

a little averse to the internet. Not, I

24:15

don't know. I just, so I did, I

24:17

posted some tick-tocks like in COVID like a

24:19

lot of us did and just like, but

24:22

not really like, like I didn't really know

24:24

yet that I didn't really know yet that

24:26

I. how to be a community and that I wanted to

24:28

be a community and I certainly wasn't I wasn't

24:30

around enough people to know like oh like the content

24:32

game is kind of where it's at in that like

24:34

kind of early COVID time where I think that actually

24:36

people who made stuff then really did benefit from and

24:38

I feel like we're sort of on the Yeah, now people are

24:41

a little bit. It feels like

24:43

it's over saturated at this point

24:45

to like really. But anyway, I,

24:47

so I don't know, when I

24:49

moved to New York, I was

24:51

just, I also think coming out

24:53

of COVID, I was just like, oh

24:56

my God, we get to go back

24:58

and do like real shows in front

25:00

of real people. And like that

25:03

was so exciting. And being

25:05

out and meeting people was

25:07

so exciting that I was like,

25:09

like, After having material

25:11

to put on online. Yeah, I saw

25:13

I saw your tick-talk obviously. Yeah, but

25:16

I'm like oh, it's kind of flipped from

25:18

some of the stuff that I know

25:20

other people have done. I'm trying to

25:22

think of Is EJ? EJ Marcus. Yeah,

25:24

I love EJ. Kind of like did

25:26

the opposite, right? Yeah, doing bits and

25:28

stuff or even like I guess like

25:30

a Connor wood or like a lot

25:32

of people just doing like bits and

25:34

then turning that into uh... stage performance actually shouldn't even

25:36

say that about you i don't know what yeah i don't know how i

25:39

don't know how he i i i'm not familiar with like his like origin

25:41

of that as well but i i mean i he crashed in the fuck

25:43

up his like any of his front-facing stuff is so funny and uh... yeah

25:45

but he's like i think a an example of somebody who did a good

25:47

job of using it yeah and having both balanced yeah because i definitely think

25:49

there's a lot of folks you know just being in the in the in

25:51

the in the in the stand- in the stand- in the stand-in the stand-up

25:54

scene in the stand-up scene in the stand-up scene in the

25:56

stand-up scene in the stand-up scene it's stand-up scene it's stand-up

25:58

scene it's stand-up scene it's stand-up scene it's stand- like

26:00

a thing where it's like, oh, this person

26:02

has like a bazillion followers. And they do

26:04

something great that is like clearly working on

26:06

the internet. And then they come to an

26:09

open mic or a show and you're like,

26:11

oh, you actually have never done. This is

26:13

a different thing. Which is totally different. Yeah.

26:15

I can't make anything that people want to

26:17

watch right now. I mean, I'm sure you

26:20

could too. But yeah, they're definitely like, feel

26:22

like very different beasts. And also like an

26:24

alive audience, anything is going to be. scare

26:26

different. Or even better, I guess, like some

26:28

people thrive so much more with the laughter,

26:31

you know, it can make you funnier than,

26:33

I don't know. I'm also like trying to

26:35

gas myself up because I'm going on tour

26:37

in March. Oh, sick. But like, not a

26:39

comedy tour, obviously, just like live podcast. Yeah.

26:42

And my manager keeps being like, like, we

26:44

have to work on your stamina so that

26:46

I can like stay. But I feel like

26:48

the audience will make me like have energy.

26:50

You have to. Like you're up there. You

26:52

know what I mean? Like you and I

26:55

can stop this right now, pause, go back,

26:57

you know, take a break, come back. 100%.

26:59

But when there's an audience, like obviously you

27:01

just, you're just like, well, fuck, I gotta

27:03

stand up. Yeah, I'm going to have to

27:06

do it. So I mean, like, I have

27:08

to do it. So I mean, like, I

27:10

have to do it. So I'm like going

27:12

to have to do it. So I'm like

27:14

gassing myself, gassing myself, gassing myself up. they

27:17

asked me to do an hour like I

27:19

won't get paid unless I sit up here

27:21

for an hour so like I guess I'm

27:23

just gonna talk to you two for an

27:25

hour like you know what I mean so

27:28

it's like our set feels so daunting as

27:30

like a comedian like I feel like to

27:32

have like a tight 10 or something yeah

27:34

feels like okay probably I don't know comedy

27:36

is so interesting to me too I had

27:39

a friend who was like doing stand up

27:41

in LA and I would go to her

27:43

like beginner like beginner thing every it was

27:45

like every Wednesday yeah and it ended up

27:47

being like the same people kind of always

27:50

coming the same comics and her too and

27:52

it was like the fourth time that I

27:54

went that I realized I'm like okay so

27:56

we're gonna tell all the same yeah yeah

27:58

every time like as an audience member I'm

28:01

having a hard time laughing anymore at the

28:03

jokes, but it was interesting also to watch

28:05

them kind of like fine tune them and

28:07

make them tighter, funnier, quicker. But like,

28:09

stress me out, like I thought of it. But

28:11

doing an hour, do you feel like, is that

28:14

daunting or do you like it? I like it

28:16

now. It was definitely scary at first because I

28:18

definitely didn't, like when I first started doing those

28:20

college shows, I also didn't have an hour of

28:22

material. So it was like, well, that was

28:25

another thing. It was like, I will learn how to

28:27

stand up here for an hour and I will figure

28:29

out what to say. And sometimes it sink or

28:31

something like that you just got to like that

28:33

you just got to like, put yourself in

28:35

that. Two things that I'm working on at

28:37

once for the hour like the actual like jokes

28:40

themselves and the you know sort of like working

28:42

those out in like local shows and like you

28:44

said like 10 minute sets and stuff But then

28:46

there's also like the sort of arc to

28:48

it story of it You know how is it

28:50

coming together? You know kind of like the bigger

28:53

picture stuff and you can't really work on that

28:55

unless you're doing it. Yeah, you know you can

28:57

like write things out and like make adjustments like

28:59

on paper and stuff But then you can't

29:01

really know if it works like It's like

29:03

a fun second thing to be working on all

29:05

the time that there's like this other element that

29:08

I'm now like excited about doing that I like

29:10

don't have when I'm just doing 10 minutes. It's

29:12

like this doesn't need to have a through line.

29:14

It can be 10 separate jokes. Yeah, it could

29:16

be like, yeah, it doesn't have to like, yeah,

29:18

it doesn't matter. Yeah, so that's been like, yeah, so

29:20

that part is really cool. And I love touring

29:22

because I like to go. It can be stressful sometimes,

29:25

like I was saying before, like getting on

29:27

stage at like a random club or something.

29:29

I mean, like everybody in here is definitely

29:31

straight and they're about to be in for

29:33

a real treat for what I'm about to

29:35

say. And so, you know, I think I've

29:37

built a bit of a shell with that, or gotten

29:39

a little bit better at like just managing that

29:42

in my head. But, you know, when I go

29:44

on tour, I'm like, well, these people wanted to

29:46

come see this, like, like, like, more, I don't know,

29:48

broad explainer jokes and just like get into the

29:50

meat of what I'm trying to do without actually having to

29:52

feel like, oh, are people not going to like this? And

29:54

then also getting to go to other parts like, you know,

29:56

we're both from the South and like getting to see like

29:58

other parts of the country. and be like, oh,

30:01

actually, there's so many queer people that came

30:03

out to see this. That's really sick. It

30:05

is. I feel like there's so much power

30:07

for queer people in like touring. And I

30:09

think it's also why queer people are like

30:11

the best fans, even of like musicians. They're

30:13

very dedicated fans. And it's because I think

30:15

that like those spaces have become safe spaces

30:17

for kids who are in or people who

30:19

are in like Minnesota. Yeah. Or I'm always

30:21

naming random places. And I'm like, it could

30:23

be the gayest place. Ohio, San Francisco, yeah,

30:25

like, really, oh, maybe that one is okay.

30:27

Yeah, no, but yeah, that's, it definitely probably

30:29

helps to feel like people are there for

30:31

you. Yeah, and it makes it, to, trying

30:33

to win someone over. Right, you don't have

30:35

to do as well, you don't have to,

30:37

you know, to, try to win someone over.

30:39

Right. You don't have to do as well.

30:41

You don't have to do as to, trying

30:43

to do as to, trying to win someone,

30:45

or trying to win someone, you, or trying

30:47

to win someone, you, you, you know, you

30:49

know, or trying to, like, At least people,

30:51

even if you're having a bad time, like

30:53

you bought a ticket to see me, just

30:55

walk out. You know what I mean? Like,

30:57

you know what I mean? Like, you know,

30:59

it's not like you're like, this club put

31:01

somebody up that I don't agree with, whatever,

31:04

you know? So true. That's got to, do

31:06

you feel like safety concerns at all when

31:08

you're traveling in those areas or? Not so,

31:10

I mean, I'm, you know, I take a

31:12

lot of. I try to like remind myself

31:14

a lot. You know, obviously it's like always

31:16

good to like be aware and stuff. And

31:18

obviously if I'm talking about it on stage,

31:20

there could always be somebody who's like a

31:22

little bit of a nut about it. But

31:24

you know, thankfully as like a trans guy,

31:26

like that's just, I'm not as much of

31:28

a target or a threat. You know, to

31:30

people, it just like, I just, most people

31:32

think I'm a young man. I just like

31:34

don't even, yeah, they're like, who's like, checking

31:36

into the like, checking into the like, checking

31:38

into the hotel by himself, checking into the

31:40

hotel by himself, Appreciate that venues. I always

31:42

like make sure my agents are like on

31:44

it with the venues to be like hey

31:46

Let's just be sure that like you know

31:48

anything get shut down that needs to get

31:50

shut down and I like to be escorted

31:52

to my car afterwards or whatever that kind

31:54

of stuff Yeah, it's pretty you know, I

31:56

haven't gone any word I've like so funny

31:58

I'll see some comics are like I'm doing

32:00

Montana this weekend I'm like who the fuck

32:02

is in my No offense if you're in

32:04

Montana. No offense. Someone is like, yeah. Somebody

32:07

is so mad at me. I'm sorry. I'm

32:09

sorry. But I'm, yeah. So I haven't been

32:11

anywhere like too like remote yet. I did

32:13

go to Indianapolis recently and that was kind

32:15

of like the most. I was like, I

32:17

wonder who's gonna be here. But then sometimes

32:19

those will be like, but then sometimes those

32:21

will be like the most involved. But

32:23

then sometimes those will be like the

32:25

most involved, like, I had the exact

32:27

same like, like, like, like, like, like, the

32:30

first night was all queer people except for

32:32

one straight couple and usually my shows

32:34

are like 50-50 just from you know

32:36

from pure numbers and stuff but it

32:38

was like all queer people and I was like

32:40

oh my god like because like yeah no straight

32:43

person Indiana it was me or goes because it's

32:45

a fuck but like all these queer people are

32:47

here which is like yeah and I feel like when

32:49

you go to those places to your point it's

32:51

like this is where they need it and there's

32:53

an appreciation for it in such a cool way

32:56

yeah I can't believe you're literally touring. You've been doing

32:58

comedy for not that long. Yeah, it's crazy It's

33:00

cool. I like I don't know it does I

33:02

was just reflecting on it today just like going into

33:04

the new year And I was like you know I

33:06

sort of already obviously there's always more to do and

33:08

more exciting things on the horizon But I was like

33:10

dang like I already sort of like did what I said

33:12

out to do which was to be a

33:14

working comedian and touring so I feel like

33:17

the rest is just like like cherry on

33:19

like cherry on top. Yeah, like cherry on

33:21

top. Yeah, just cool. Yeah, like awesome. Yeah,

33:23

like. Yeah, like. Yeah, like. Yeah, like. Yeah,

33:26

like. Yeah, like. Yeah, like. Yeah, like. Yeah,

33:28

like. Yeah, like. Hi Bald, it's me, Trixie

33:30

Mattel, Skiny Legend, and Board Certified H-Vac Somalia.

33:32

And me, Kati Zamila Chikova, the sweatiest creature

33:34

in Showbiz, reminding you to subscribe to the

33:37

Bald and the Beautiful podcast. Listen as we

33:39

cover topics as varied as proper bidet usage,

33:41

celebrity impression tutorials, and a television show

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I recently watched that I'll base my

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well as creative pest control, tasty pest

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control, tasty lima. and wigs and stuff,

33:52

which is obviously the public service part

33:55

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33:59

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Fabulous. Go subscribe to the Bald and the

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Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you're listening right now.

34:10

Is your girlfriend also a comedian? She is,

34:12

yeah. Yeah, we actually met at an open

34:14

mic, which was very cute when we first,

34:17

we both first moved here, and it was

34:19

one of those things where I was like,

34:21

wait, she's hot and funny. Who's this other

34:23

funny person here? That's like, you know, almost

34:25

like a little competitive about it. But then

34:28

we met and I was like, yeah, she's

34:30

amazing. And then I just like. That's awesome.

34:32

Couldn't get enough of her like material and

34:34

stuff. And yeah, we've been, we've been dating

34:37

for like three years as of the other

34:39

day. Oh my gosh. Congratulations. Thank you. Is

34:41

that fun to both be doing the same

34:43

career like are like. Yeah, like I if

34:45

I have a joke, then I need to

34:48

run by somebody before I go to a

34:50

show. She's the best person to do that

34:52

because she gets it and she's, you know,

34:54

also very funny and she can add things

34:56

to it. You know, we both work in

34:59

like, you know, screenwriting as well. So like

35:01

somebody to talk through scripts with and proofread

35:03

and show to and stuff, which is really

35:05

nice. And then also just from like, you

35:07

know, this industry is crazy to about. the

35:10

sort of annoying things that are like, you

35:12

know, sort of the gold handcuffs or the,

35:14

you know... you know, champagne problems of it

35:16

all that are still annoying or like, but

35:19

at the end of the day, it's like

35:21

you don't want to complain to your friends

35:23

who are like, hey man, like, you know,

35:25

whatever, you know. Your job is awesome. Yeah,

35:27

yeah, whatever. So it's nice to have somebody

35:30

who like, you know, loves you enough to

35:32

understand that and like, you kind of like,

35:34

and then, you know, obviously in the reverse

35:36

for her too. When you came out, you

35:38

came out originally. as like

35:41

a lesbian in college,

35:43

right? I was watching

35:45

you also on Ashley

35:47

Gavin's podcast. Yeah. And

35:49

I was cracking up

35:52

because that was really

35:54

funny. But so you

35:56

were playing soccer and

35:58

then you were like

36:00

coming out there. Yeah.

36:03

And then when did

36:05

you come out as

36:07

trans? So I came

36:09

out as trans in

36:12

2021. It was actually

36:14

like right around the

36:16

same time I started doing stand up

36:18

in New York. Partly

36:20

because, you know, during the pandemic, like many people I

36:22

was having some sort of like soul searching sort of

36:24

things. And I was out as a lesbian at the

36:26

time and I'd gone through a big breakup and

36:29

I was just like I feel like something's still

36:31

like off or like I couldn't whatever. And

36:33

I was sort of just like listening. I actually

36:35

started listening to Ashley's podcast during the pandemic

36:37

and I like and I feel like part of

36:40

what helped me was listening to stuff like

36:42

that. Like was hearing people talk about because I hadn't

36:44

I don't even know if I really like I'm

36:46

sure I had heard the word trans before. I'm

36:48

sure I'd heard or was relatively

36:50

I know at some point in my

36:52

life I had been exposed to it and

36:54

probably just like was like never think

36:56

about that again. But it wasn't really until then that

36:58

I feel like I actually like was like as a like

37:00

full adult was like oh shit

37:02

like this is a real thing that people do

37:06

and experience and are and like maybe

37:08

that's me. And so I moved to New York

37:10

and I started and I met some other trans people

37:12

which was also like very helpful because I didn't

37:14

know anybody in Savannah where I grew up that

37:16

was trans and I or even really queer. And

37:19

so moving to New York, being in Brooklyn, meeting

37:21

other queer people, meeting trans people, I was like

37:23

oh shit like people are actually doing this.

37:25

And like it's OK. And this is there's a

37:27

whole ecosystem here in community. And so it was

37:29

like and then also doing stand up. I was like

37:31

getting up. I had some older jokes that I

37:33

was talking about being a lesbian. And I was just

37:35

like, I don't really feel this way anymore. And

37:37

it feels bad to be up here talking about myself

37:39

like this. Yeah. And honestly, like

37:41

stand up is like it's

37:44

my way of like processing a lot of like a

37:46

lot of the first like year plus

37:48

and like a lot of this hour I'm working on

37:50

is all about like coming out of strands and

37:52

like and sort of like the changes in like the

37:54

medical process and the legal process of name change

37:56

and stuff and all the funny issues that come with

37:58

that. And like. it was so helpful

38:00

to get on stage and like talk about it

38:03

because it helps me put words to what I

38:05

was feeling in a way that was like

38:07

light and also succinct and you know, but

38:09

also could have this sort of edge to

38:11

how I actually feel underneath it, you know. So

38:13

yeah, it was like summer 2021, I was

38:15

like grappling with it and then I started

38:18

like, you know, coming out to my family,

38:20

changing my name and, and medically transitioning

38:23

and stuff. And that's also like extremely.

38:25

vulnerable to do and like in a

38:27

comedy set yeah to like be figuring

38:29

that out and then also sharing it

38:31

at the same time I'm sure like

38:33

I feel like I've had and seen

38:35

that experience with people just like through

38:38

social media you know navigating their queerness

38:40

and then making content around it and

38:42

then being like well like changing very

38:44

fast yeah some of those changes happened

38:46

so fast like emotionally that like did

38:48

you feel like your material was like

38:50

aging faster as you were just like

38:53

changing so quickly. Yeah, I love that you

38:55

asked that because I feel like that's something people

38:57

don't recognize often that but that is like

38:59

that is real like you know because especially like you

39:01

know 99% of comics have a joke or they're like

39:03

oh I bet you think I'm Steve Bush, yeah me

39:06

with a haircut or whatever you know something stupid

39:08

and you know so of course that we all have

39:10

our version of that and I was sort of realizing

39:12

in real time like and part of the reason

39:14

I think people do that people do that is to

39:16

get you need the audience to know that you understand the

39:18

joke about you off the bat or like you need the

39:21

audience to understand that you are confident and that you know

39:23

who you are and what you look like to them. Yeah.

39:25

And like that they can just piece you together in one

39:27

second so that we don't have to worry about that

39:29

anymore. Like kind of calling, you know, taking the air

39:31

out of whatever that joke about you that they're gonna

39:33

make and make a funnier one, right? That's like a

39:35

good way to like sort of burst through at the

39:37

beginning at the beginning and... I was just realizing I

39:39

was like, oh fuck, like I have to update this joke

39:41

every two months. Because it was like, you know what I'm changing

39:44

so much. You know what I mean? It's like, it's not one of

39:46

those things where I'm like, I can write this, I can do this

39:48

for the next 10 years, because that's just not true. Like I just,

39:50

yeah. So that was just like, and also just changing the

39:52

way that I felt like, like, and also just changing the

39:54

way that I felt like there were certain things where I

39:56

was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

39:58

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and not the

40:00

joke or not like what I'm trying to

40:02

say and then in just trying to like

40:04

adjust to that kind of thing too.

40:06

Yeah that's so interesting. Yeah but yeah

40:09

it's definitely something I like have had

40:11

to think about and there's just like

40:13

certain jokes as I like pass more

40:15

that people don't like as much as

40:17

much because they're like even though they know

40:19

I'm a trans guy they're just like what

40:21

a second like there's a guy saying

40:23

that like you know sometimes that gets

40:25

a little tricky. That makes sense it's

40:27

like it's like evolving much faster

40:29

I would like assume yeah as opposed

40:31

to like aging in 10 years right

40:33

I saw such an interesting thing this

40:35

is so random but I saw this

40:37

interesting tick-talk earlier today of this trans

40:40

guy being like no one talks

40:42

about aging as a trans person because

40:44

I only started to feel like myself

40:46

when I was 24 and I already

40:48

have gray hairs in my view and

40:51

I was like that is so that

40:53

must be such a Just the passage

40:55

of time changes so much when you're

40:57

going through, especially like a medical transition,

41:00

I feel. Yeah. Which, what a scary. administration

41:03

we have coming, how do you feel about

41:05

that? Are you like, and you're in like

41:07

queer spaces a lot too, right? So I'm

41:09

sure you're having lots of conversations. Yeah, I

41:11

mean, it's obviously really scary. You know, that was

41:13

not the outcome I hoped for at all. And

41:15

you know, I mostly, you know, I feel very

41:17

lucky being in New York and, you know, having

41:19

access to the health care I do and I

41:22

already like had top surgery and like the main,

41:24

you know, you know, the major things I

41:26

needed, glad for it, like my name changed

41:28

and stuff. I'm mostly worried about, obviously like,

41:30

you know, both of us being from the

41:32

South, like we were talking about earlier, like,

41:34

you know, I'm more nervous for like kids

41:36

across the country and trans women across the

41:38

country than I am for myself. But it's

41:40

still like, you know, it's frustrating more

41:43

so to see how many people like, you know,

41:45

again, being from the South, there are just

41:47

plenty of people in my life who, you

41:49

know, you know, voted for Trump or just

41:51

like don't understand how those things, how those

41:53

things connect, connect, connect. and they don't see

41:55

that like you can't in the same breath say that

41:57

you support me care about me care about people like

41:59

me. and then also like vote for this administration,

42:01

those things just don't go together, especially when

42:03

it's like some crazy number, like 60 or

42:05

70 % of their advertising revenue was spent on

42:08

anti -trans ads. It was crazy. Which is

42:10

like, I want people to

42:12

understand that trans people are so not their problem.

42:14

It's like, it's so not their, like it's so

42:16

not affecting their life. I just wish people

42:18

would care more about themselves

42:20

enough to like be like stop shoving this

42:22

at us because it's really not our problem.

42:24

Like let's fix something. Did you see the,

42:26

he had one of his ads was

42:28

like, calm us for a day

42:30

and then I'm for you. And it's

42:33

just like, what dumb ass, like

42:35

who is buying this shit? And he's

42:37

like, yeah, that's right. And they

42:39

just, I mean, I think it probably

42:41

just goes, you know, I don't know how much

42:43

the anti, it's upsetting to me that 60 to 70

42:45

% of the ads were

42:47

that because that just like shows you

42:50

what they're focused on and like

42:52

what they think they can get people to focus on. But

42:54

I was like, those ads

42:56

are so dumb. I'm like, this can't be winning anybody

42:58

over. Like they've already made up their mind. There's no

43:00

way. I know. And then I'm like, did that, is

43:02

that what worked for you guys? I also, in

43:05

LA, I very rarely am

43:07

watching like TV. And then I forget where,

43:09

I think I was watching a sports game

43:11

or something. And that's when I started seeing it.

43:13

And I was like, is this what

43:16

everyone is seeing? Everywhere, this is crazy. And

43:18

then I'm like, oh my God. And

43:20

it probably like so much worse and other. Well,

43:22

like I was in Texas at one point

43:24

during the election. I was like, holy shit. Dude,

43:26

I was in Austin the weekend that

43:28

Trump was there to do

43:30

Joe Rogan's podcast. And

43:32

it was like crazy traffic. And they were like, oh, Trump's here.

43:34

Trump's here. I was like, why the fuck is he in Austin

43:36

right now? I was like, we cannot be in a world where

43:39

the podcast is making political decisions. I

43:41

just like. Except we are. Yeah. And

43:43

no, I, dude, I was, I mean,

43:45

same thing. I was touring so much

43:47

around like October, November that and like

43:49

I was in hotels. And so in

43:51

like. You're like seeing TV. Vienna and other places.

43:53

So I was seeing real TV. And I was

43:55

like, Jesus Christ, is this what is on? Yeah.

43:57

It's scarier than I thought. I mean, I'm already

44:00

hyper. that I'm in a bubble and I'm like

44:02

in a bubble in LA and that I'm

44:04

in a bubble within my own friend group

44:06

of like so many gay people. I'm like,

44:08

I know that I'm participating in an

44:10

echo chamber even when I go on

44:12

my phone because it's so curated to

44:14

me. But it was like. so much

44:16

worse than I could have even

44:18

thought that what was happening. You

44:20

know, like outside, it was like,

44:22

oh my god, I looked up

44:24

and I'm like, no. Yeah. This

44:26

is the reality that some of

44:28

you are living in. I probably

44:30

would be scared of trans people

44:32

too. Every time I turned on

44:34

my TV, they're like, comels for

44:36

the day. And they're going to

44:38

come get you. Like, I don't

44:40

even know what they're going to do.

44:43

Yeah. I'd read you stories. different

44:45

and it's so it's so funny with the

44:47

sports thing how much focus we're putting on

44:49

trans women in sports and that like really

44:52

I think no one's even really talking about

44:54

trans men no it's like a non-event they're

44:56

like well obviously they won't be able to

44:58

play with us I'm like it's just like

45:01

feel so anti-woman for sure I mean

45:03

it's of course rooted in misogyny and

45:05

racism and all the other things that

45:07

transphobia is rooted in and what I

45:09

always I'm like do we care so

45:11

much about trans women in sports because

45:13

Caitlin Jenner's the most famous trans woman,

45:15

like is it really just because they're

45:17

like, well, she was an Olympian, so

45:19

they must all be fast. Like, literally,

45:21

they're like, that's the only trans woman

45:23

I've ever seen. I, I, sometimes I'm like,

45:26

is that what people, like is that why people

45:28

are so hell bent on it? I mean, I just.

45:30

There's obviously so many arguments

45:32

about, you know, nobody, you

45:34

know, what man cared about

45:36

women's sports before this issue,

45:39

you know, first of all,

45:41

other than sports betting on

45:43

the WMBA, like, what did you

45:45

give a fuck about? You know,

45:47

it's, there's like 12 or something,

45:50

like, there's like a dozen, like,

45:52

there's like 12 or something, like,

45:54

there's like a dozen, there's like,

45:56

like, a minute problem. No,

45:59

literally. like we just want it

46:01

to live and let live yeah

46:03

it is it's just crazy it reminds

46:05

me so much of it

46:07

really does remind me so much of like

46:09

queerness and just like gayness and how

46:12

for so long not everyone knew a gay

46:14

person and then as soon as like

46:16

everyone kind of knew a gay person I

46:18

feel like everyone's like okay yeah you

46:20

guys can be gay but like with trans

46:22

the trans community I feel like still

46:24

so few people actually know a real trans

46:27

person or like an out trans person

46:29

you know so there's so much more that

46:31

all the unknowns of it for these

46:33

people just they are able to let their

46:35

minds run wild yeah I think it

46:37

we're hitting it at the

46:39

exact moment of like

46:42

you know relatively speaking

46:44

it's probably like our newest social

46:46

issue in terms of like people

46:48

being aware of it yeah um

46:50

it's come about in the age of the

46:52

internet where 90 % of conversations are being

46:54

had online between you know

46:57

people in the comments who you know maybe

46:59

don't even really feel how they feel

47:01

they're just letting it out you know we're

47:03

in one of the worst news media

47:05

landscapes we've ever been in there's like this

47:07

crazy you know presidential you know landscape as

47:09

well like so there's all these factors that

47:11

I think are leading to it being as

47:13

like volatile of a conversation as it is

47:15

you know and it's funny with like

47:17

gay people it's like it feels like

47:19

will and grace and then

47:21

maybe a decade or two

47:23

decades later glee and then five

47:25

years later modern family I feel like

47:27

those things like really pushed people in

47:29

the right direction because it was just like

47:31

as limited and maybe poor representation as

47:33

it was in certain aspects it was like

47:36

it it was nonetheless you

47:38

know cable tv totally everybody

47:40

can watch this totally you know this is

47:42

here and I just feel like until we have

47:44

I mean and obviously that's not the only way

47:46

and that's obviously representation is such a thin slice

47:48

on the top of the iceberg

47:50

but it's I think what

47:52

helped really get queer people across

47:55

the line in the first place 100 %

47:57

it helps so much and I always say

47:59

like there's like an element of,

48:01

like, I keep saying this

48:03

on my podcast. I'm like, does anyone

48:05

even, no one's ever commented and been

48:07

like, that was insightful, Shannon. I keep

48:09

saying it anyway. Somebody do it today.

48:11

Come on. No, there is like some,

48:13

there's a power, like a superpower to

48:15

going into living rooms. Like, and that

48:17

is such a, it's sad though too,

48:19

because I feel like we're already losing

48:22

that as a superpower in that not

48:24

everyone is like consuming television the same

48:26

way. There's not really monoculture in that

48:28

way. Exactly. One kid is on their

48:30

iPad and another kid is watching the

48:32

TV and another kid is on their MacBook,

48:34

you know? And like your parents are watching

48:36

something on their phone. So not everyone

48:38

is having this, like, living room experience anymore,

48:40

but that's kind of what I grew

48:42

up with. And like with Grey's Anatomy, seeing

48:45

lesbians on Grey's Anatomy, I was like, I'm

48:47

watching this with the girl I have a

48:49

crush on and the girl I have a

48:51

crush on's mom the room and fast forwarding

48:53

through it. But like, still, it is like

48:55

this representative. Oh yeah. And also like, we

48:57

couldn't listen to Katy Perry. I kissed a

48:59

girl like nothing. She was like, oh. And

49:02

then we're like holding hands on the blanket.

49:04

It's like a whole, it was the whole

49:06

thing. But it's gonna be interesting to

49:08

push these kinds of like types

49:10

of representation when not everyone is

49:12

watching the same television. I think

49:14

that's where like reality TV comes

49:16

in in a really cool way

49:18

because it does feel like it's

49:21

still more like culturally universal. Like

49:23

everyone will get behind a show,

49:25

even just watching like the queer

49:27

ultimatum or ultimatum or whatever, all

49:29

these things. Like when it's popular,

49:31

it's like so on your timeline.

49:33

So I feel like it's inspiring

49:35

a lot of people to watch this

49:38

stuff. I haven't seen that kind of drive

49:40

to a TV show or a movie

49:42

in the same way I feel

49:44

that social media is drawing in audiences

49:46

to like reality TV. Yeah. I think

49:49

it's like, it's

49:51

hard with movies these days. I mean with anything

49:53

because you know, even if it's the

49:55

biggest hit in the world, it's on the cultural

49:57

timeline for three seconds. Yeah. you

50:00

know faster and faster with the internet and

50:02

news and everything and so it feels like you know

50:04

big reality shows that have like What

50:06

is love? Yeah, what's it called? Love

50:08

Island has like 40 episodes or something insane per

50:10

season. Like I think it's like 56. It's great

50:12

Yeah, so the f -56 Yeah, these are weeks or

50:14

whatever it is to like catch up on this

50:16

and be a part of it and let the

50:18

let it build and build and I think any

50:20

Show now like that that has like, you know, they're

50:22

coming out weekly or they're whatever It just like

50:25

gives it that time to build online Yeah, in a

50:27

way that like a lot of stuff just like

50:29

doesn't get anymore. It's so true I feel like we

50:31

miss it. Like yeah, it seems like I

50:33

miss it because we'll miss it a

50:35

lot I as much as it's like so

50:37

fun obviously to binge a show there

50:39

was something so exciting about watching a show

50:41

like Even like lost back

50:43

in the day where it's like you had

50:45

all week to talk about yeah thought was

50:47

gonna happen the next week Yeah, like survivor

50:49

back then was so big in that way.

50:52

Yeah, but I feel like I wish it

50:54

would come back I hope it will come

50:56

back to I like I mean it seems

50:58

like All these streamers are learning

51:00

quickly that it's not a profitable Thing

51:02

and they're all sort of combining and collapsing

51:04

into each other again So I think

51:06

we'll probably end up a back with like

51:08

three different services that are like basically pay

51:11

cable. Yeah We'll

51:13

see I mean I that's I don't know I agree

51:15

because I it's just like It's

51:18

too much and it's directionless and so much on

51:20

the fringes is just like nonsense Crap, and

51:22

it's like if we just like spent all of

51:25

our efforts on like good things Because I find

51:27

the things that I'm most excited about like I

51:29

loved succession and I love like white lotus

51:31

and like any of those like That feels like when

51:33

it's like must see TV. It's like everybody's watching

51:35

this every week and like the HBO's in the show

51:37

Yeah, those are the only ones. I haven't figured

51:39

out. Yeah, and we're still like obsessed

51:41

with it Also with like binge watching

51:43

things. It's like why did Netflix?

51:46

like Anything else that starts

51:48

with binge like binge drinking Like none of that is

51:51

good for you and then but like we're like,

51:53

oh, yeah, we can just like binge watch That's fine.

51:55

And like that won't come back to bite us

51:57

in the ass at all. Yeah, that's so

51:59

true in the name. It was in

52:01

the name. were being warned and we did

52:03

it anyway. But yeah, I do think

52:05

like representation obviously. Cause if you think about

52:07

it, even what you're saying

52:09

to like figuring out your

52:11

transness from watching a podcast, like

52:13

representation, it's so

52:15

much more important than I think

52:18

people even realize. I had like a

52:20

Tik Tok viral where I was

52:22

telling people that Cynthia from Wicked is

52:24

gay. And it went viral like in

52:26

a way I didn't mean for, I

52:28

just was like, me ever since I

52:30

found out Cynthia is gay, like telling

52:32

everyone I know. And like the comment

52:34

section obviously got into the other side

52:36

of Tik Tok cause the comment section

52:38

became like, and who cares? And why

52:40

does it matter? And why is that

52:42

important? Can't people be more than their

52:44

sexuality? And then like millions of comments.

52:46

So many comments. And then people being

52:48

like, and she's also an amazing actor.

52:50

I'm like, yeah, okay. And she's also

52:52

gay. So I just, and then also

52:54

God, I said she's gay. I just

52:56

wrote because, I would have just like

52:58

catch all word. Yeah, I would have written.

53:00

I feel like queer, I wanted

53:02

it to get to other

53:05

audiences. And I feel like queer

53:07

is become, it's like, feels more like

53:09

political and feels more like the queer

53:11

community gets to use it in a way

53:13

that sometimes they feel like straight people

53:15

are still scared of the word. I had

53:17

my great aunt at a wedding. I

53:19

just wanted to be like, I have a

53:21

bone to pick with you. This woman's

53:23

like eight years old. She's like, I love

53:25

your podcast. I love your content. Stop

53:28

using that word queer. I was like,

53:30

oh. No, so we reclaimed it. Yeah, it's

53:32

okay. reclaimed it. And she's like, nope,

53:35

I don't like it. I don't like it.

53:37

And I was like, okay, well, I

53:39

don't really think I'm gonna do what you're

53:41

saying to do. Yeah. Anyway.

53:43

But I'm glad she's a listener. Yeah, too.

53:45

Shout out if you're listening. Hi aunt

53:48

Bonnie. That's funny, yeah. But yeah, people like,

53:50

but people like don't understand how people

53:53

who feel represented all the time.

53:55

Don't understand how nice it feels

53:57

to be represented or like see. yourself

54:00

in any capacity and also

54:02

even even lately like thinking about

54:04

future planning and like what

54:06

a life looks like as a

54:08

lesbian like who are my

54:10

role models exactly like I'm not

54:12

saying there are none obviously there

54:14

are many but I don't necessarily

54:16

have someone I look up to

54:18

that I'm like that character with

54:20

that wife and that baby that

54:22

was I saw myself there you

54:24

know and still now I don't

54:27

that yeah so it's been

54:29

awesome to see so much change but also

54:31

like oh my god we need so

54:33

many other things because I feel like

54:35

it would just make everyone less

54:37

scared one and also give

54:39

other people more hope

54:41

definitely have something to look forward

54:43

to yeah I mean I like you

54:45

know on on that tiktok thing like

54:48

it's so funny like I don't know how you feel

54:50

sometimes I'll post something on tiktok and

54:52

then like it'll you know it's one of

54:54

those things where it's like if doing well enough the wrong

54:56

people are gonna see it 100 % and that always sucks to

54:58

play that little sort of catch 22 but

55:00

then also sometimes I'm like especially

55:02

for me because it's like this already existed in

55:05

a real place and then I filmed it and I

55:07

put it on thing and some so it's kind of

55:09

like you know whatever but I'm like did I just

55:11

create a space for nonsense discourse like is

55:13

that all I did today was just

55:15

create yeah a thread of the worst

55:17

conversation on both sides people just

55:19

like nitpicking words and like like to that

55:21

it's like okay queer day or what are we

55:23

gonna say like whatever like it's just so

55:25

and then it's also like that I'm sure was

55:28

like a 20 second max video like whatever

55:30

you know it's a a it's a joke it's

55:32

like one thing it's a quick video and

55:34

then people wanting you to say so much more

55:36

you wanting you to basically give a dissertation

55:38

on literally everything about literally on her queerness I'm

55:40

like and how that intersects with her work

55:42

and it's like that is like go read a

55:44

j -store article literally I'm like do you know

55:47

this is tiktok yeah like this is not

55:49

that deep no this is supposed to be a

55:51

memeable thing to repost like relax yeah I

55:53

know yeah people are like she's um she identifies

55:55

as bi and then I've replied to like

55:57

one person just being like gay is an umbrella

55:59

where I just used it as an

56:01

umbrella word and then didn't even matter

56:03

like thousands more comments being like um

56:06

bye um queer I'm like who gives a

56:08

fuck yeah, like I give a fuck

56:10

because words have meaning, but like you

56:12

know how I meant Yeah, you know

56:14

people just want to I don't

56:16

know it sucks right now with the

56:19

environment that we're in where it's

56:21

like Feels like kind of as queer

56:23

people. We also are turning on

56:25

each other, you know, it's like We're

56:27

really holding people to really high

56:29

standards, which is beautiful and amazing because

56:31

we should all grow and learn and

56:34

become better Yeah, but also like

56:36

we're all just people so yeah, it's

56:38

just so stressful. It's definitely frustrating I

56:40

feel that as like a you know, I've

56:42

talked to some other, you know queer artists and

56:44

stuff We all and anybody who's like a

56:46

queer artist online. I think really feels this exact

56:48

thing you're talking about where it's like a self

56:50

cannibalizing Thing like of

56:53

other queer people, you know being you

56:55

know the ones to call you out about

56:57

this or that and I totally agree I

56:59

think it's important that we like hold ourselves to

57:01

a high standard and strive to

57:03

be Better and to move the

57:05

community towards progress, but it often doesn't feel like that's where

57:07

it's really coming from It's coming from like a oh,

57:09

oh, I got you like kind of hang on internet and

57:11

like oh here's something I can call you out on

57:13

and it's like I think you're actually mad at somebody Far

57:16

scarier and more powerful than I am

57:18

But you don't have the ability the guts

57:20

the whatever to like call out You don't

57:22

have the access. Yeah, those people or if it's

57:25

somebody in your life Like you don't have the guts

57:27

to do it to them. So you're gonna just come

57:29

on here and get mad at me for something that like

57:32

Yeah, probably isn't you know and the grand

57:34

scheme of things I'm doing my best and you are probably

57:36

to you know what I mean So it's just but it

57:38

is frustrating because it's like we could just turn all this

57:40

energy Enough with the labels and the

57:42

bullshit and whatever it is that are stupid little infights

57:44

like nobody cares Like they're gonna take our rights away

57:46

or regardless of what we call ourselves Literally

57:49

literally my gay vibe. We're up.

57:51

Do we have rights like and

57:53

we get married. I don't know.

57:55

Yeah. Yeah, it just does feel

57:58

so Self -cannolizing it's crazy But

58:00

also in like, so much of it is

58:02

just like projection of your own,

58:04

people's own stuff and queerness is

58:07

so loaded with so many layers.

58:09

So it's like I try to

58:11

have empathy as well when I'm

58:14

seeing discourse that just feels nonsensical

58:16

and like also just like, what

58:18

needle are we pushing and where to?

58:20

Yeah. And I also tried over myself

58:22

to like. 90% of these people are

58:24

children. These are 16 year olds who

58:26

are having this conversation for the first

58:28

time. And I'm like, just like you were

58:31

saying before, like I'm in an echo chamber

58:33

of other like, you know, queer adults who

58:35

have had time and access being in New

58:37

York LA and like around those things to

58:39

have the access to like reading about things

58:41

or at least like hearing about, you know,

58:43

more evolved sort of takes on these things

58:46

or just feeling a little, just in general

58:48

feeling more easier than yourself because you're a

58:50

30- 16 year old per person, who's like,

58:52

ah, like, I'm gonna type, type, type,

58:54

type. So I try to also be

58:56

like, all right, this is probably a

58:58

kid, like, I don't even get in

59:00

a fight with this. But also just

59:03

like, I just get frustrated

59:05

when it, especially when it

59:07

comes to like little minutia

59:09

bullshit like that, because it's like,

59:11

it's so antithetical to what queerness

59:14

in the queer community, and I

59:16

think that like, there's importance of

59:18

labeling and naming things so that

59:20

we can identify ourselves and understand

59:23

ourselves but like after you understand

59:25

yourself you can kind of like you can

59:27

let that go yeah I definitely feel there's

59:29

a tribalism that's not healthy a hundred percent

59:32

I feel like when I was like first coming

59:34

out those like micro labels are like labels

59:36

within the labels of like oh I'm not

59:38

just a lesbian I'm a chapstick stick lesbian

59:40

yeah yeah yeah I will still say especially

59:42

because I know that My audience is not

59:44

even if they're not young a lot of

59:46

them are not fully like Accepting of their

59:49

queerness yet So I'm like I'm gonna give

59:51

you these words. So you have them so

59:53

that if you hear it and it helps

59:56

you good But like for me, do I

59:58

care if I'm a chapstick left? or like

1:00:00

someone called me mask lesbian and

1:00:02

everyone's like Shin is not a

1:00:04

mask lesbian she is a tomboy

1:00:06

with a ponytail I'm like okay

1:00:08

I didn't even say it about

1:00:10

myself like it's not even a

1:00:12

label I'm like trying to claim

1:00:14

anyway I'm just like I don't

1:00:16

care once you get older and

1:00:18

you're comfortable it's like okay I I mean

1:00:20

and I still also am really I've tried

1:00:23

my best to champion the word lesbian

1:00:25

yeah I feel like it was so dirty

1:00:27

for so long in a way based

1:00:29

off who, whatever culture. But, and when

1:00:32

I first came out, I would always

1:00:34

just say, I'm gay. And then at

1:00:36

some point, when I was like, really,

1:00:38

I'm like, oh my God, my

1:00:40

platform is very much about my

1:00:43

queerness. I'm like, okay. I'm

1:00:45

like, okay. My platform is

1:00:47

very much about my queerness.

1:00:49

I'm like, okay. I'm like, okay.

1:00:51

I'm like, okay. I'm like, my

1:00:54

platform is very much about

1:00:56

my queerness. I'm like, I'm

1:00:58

like, Like I like the word lesbian,

1:01:00

but it was something that I also

1:01:02

struggled to I was always just say

1:01:04

I'm gay Because I like it did

1:01:07

feel like such a dirtier word and

1:01:09

obviously there's like tons of history of

1:01:11

misogyny there But you know to bring

1:01:13

it back to that joke you mentioned

1:01:16

about my girlfriend earlier about how

1:01:18

people ask if we're gay or

1:01:20

restraint because I'm a trans guy

1:01:22

and she's a cis woman and people

1:01:24

are like what is happening here

1:01:26

and it's like okay I figured out that

1:01:28

I'm trans is the biggest hurdle for

1:01:30

me or the biggest realization that I've

1:01:32

made in my life like anything beyond that

1:01:34

I'm like I don't give a fuck like yeah

1:01:36

call me gay call me straight I don't care like

1:01:39

I mean I prefer you don't call me straight but

1:01:41

since I'm my culture I don't feel like I

1:01:43

lying with them but you know it's just like

1:01:45

all the sexuality stuff on top of that I'm

1:01:47

like I don't care Yeah, it is what it

1:01:49

is. I like I just say queer because I'm

1:01:51

like it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah,

1:01:53

because it's ironic because it feels

1:01:55

like a huge like policing of

1:01:57

queerness and like policing of label.

1:01:59

and like it is just so

1:02:01

the opposite of queer culture is to

1:02:04

police anything exactly the whole point is to

1:02:06

like let people live right and let it

1:02:08

free flow and it's like this should be

1:02:10

like a river of things not like

1:02:12

yeah these little segmented yeah and

1:02:15

also like I recently was talking about

1:02:17

it but it does feel like for

1:02:19

some people in the community like people's

1:02:21

queerness is conditional like you

1:02:24

will they'll they're happily like taking

1:02:26

it away from people. It's like,

1:02:28

oh, okay, you're by woman and

1:02:30

now you have a boyfriend, you're

1:02:32

straight. Yeah. And it's like, first of all,

1:02:34

who are you to decide that? But also,

1:02:36

it's just, I fear that it also makes

1:02:38

our community seem intimidating and

1:02:41

like not something someone would ever

1:02:43

want to explore even if they

1:02:45

deeply wanted to. Like, it could

1:02:47

be the reason that they're like, oh, well,

1:02:50

that happened to that girl and I saw.

1:02:52

play out online even though that's happening

1:02:54

on online and then in reality

1:02:56

in most of the conversations I

1:02:58

have like with my queer friends

1:03:01

yeah people would not be like Stephanie

1:03:03

is straight now did you know what

1:03:05

I mean yeah I mean some people would

1:03:07

be like damn it she got a

1:03:09

boy but not like She's not by

1:03:12

anymore. But if you're only access to

1:03:14

these conversations is the internet and specifically

1:03:16

TikTok, holy shit. Well, you're just

1:03:18

hearing it from a 17 year old

1:03:21

who doesn't know what they're talking about.

1:03:23

Yeah. Or like, or oddly very smart.

1:03:25

Like sometimes I watch some stuff

1:03:27

and I'm like, my God, whatever book

1:03:30

you read, I need to read it.

1:03:32

But also I do feel that this

1:03:34

is hurting more than helping. Like the

1:03:36

regurgitation of just like. really cool facts

1:03:39

about queerness that would be awesome that

1:03:41

you know all that but we could

1:03:43

do that and also be inclusive rather

1:03:45

than use it as a tactic to

1:03:47

exclude people from this community. Yeah well

1:03:50

it's so tough with like you know I think

1:03:52

a lot of exclusion comes from

1:03:54

again like I think we both feel like

1:03:56

a desire to give people the benefit

1:03:58

of the doubt and like... you know, and

1:04:00

also like have some empathy and hold

1:04:02

some space for like what is all

1:04:04

going into this, because I think, you

1:04:06

know, I mean, any time somebody's like,

1:04:08

fuck by women, I'm like, who hurt

1:04:10

your, which by woman hurt you? Which

1:04:12

by woman hurt you? You know what

1:04:14

I mean? Like, me too. I've been

1:04:17

there and I've been fresher to buy

1:04:19

it. And like, but it, you know, I

1:04:21

don't think people just need to do a

1:04:23

better job. I think. And that was like

1:04:25

one person and not everybody. Yeah,

1:04:27

that was Rachel, not every bisexual.

1:04:29

Exactly. And so I think there's

1:04:31

that. And then I also think

1:04:33

like, you know, I think we're

1:04:35

inclined to self-protect. And even if you

1:04:37

are, you know, pretty well with yourself, I

1:04:40

think there's always like a little

1:04:42

bit of an internalized homophobia, transphobia, all

1:04:44

the others. And like, I think when

1:04:47

we see something that triggers whatever in

1:04:49

us is trying to protect ourselves. it's

1:04:51

like get away get away don't be

1:04:53

that yeah so I think that that's

1:04:56

two things I see that people definitely

1:04:58

you know oh and a hundred percent you

1:05:00

know what I wonder if you think

1:05:02

this is true I feel like a

1:05:04

lot of queer people that I know

1:05:07

have origin stories of their relationships where

1:05:09

it's like one person or even both

1:05:11

people were like I'm gonna be single

1:05:13

for a while and then somehow they

1:05:15

end up dating each other yeah I

1:05:17

hear that story so often Very rarely

1:05:19

do I hear queer people that I

1:05:21

know that are like, I was 100% ready

1:05:23

for a relationship. And so was she.

1:05:25

And so was she. Yeah. Yeah. I

1:05:28

feel like I was thinking about this

1:05:30

the other day too, because I'm like,

1:05:32

is it sort of like a scarcity

1:05:35

mindset because for so long, queer

1:05:37

people have been such a minority

1:05:39

that we're like, oh my God,

1:05:42

well, you're an awesome lesbian. So.

1:05:44

if it's not you then I like I'm

1:05:46

risking losing like even if the partnership

1:05:48

isn't perfect on paper you're like I

1:05:50

don't know yeah does that make sense a hundred

1:05:52

like I have to keep you a

1:05:55

hundred percent I think I've definitely experienced

1:05:57

that in my dating life too

1:05:59

because like coming out of the South and like you

1:06:01

know I there were not a lot of gay people where

1:06:03

I went to college or just like whatever and

1:06:05

so I just like anytime somebody was I was

1:06:07

like you're gay like you know what I mean

1:06:09

like it's like oh my god like this is

1:06:11

like I can't believe this like we have to

1:06:13

be together I guess because there's nobody else here

1:06:15

but yeah I think that like definitely that I

1:06:17

also think it's probably you know I'm sure a

1:06:19

lot of people have this experience who were like the

1:06:22

line between friend and more than friend is so

1:06:24

blurry with queer people of course and like that

1:06:26

is something like upon first meeting I think you're

1:06:28

there's always a little bit of like are we

1:06:30

over just friends or you know what even if

1:06:32

it ends up being like oh we're actually definitely

1:06:34

just buddies like yeah there's always like a little

1:06:36

any queer person is like what okay and then

1:06:38

so I think that my reading into that yeah

1:06:40

so I think there's always that element where like it's

1:06:42

really easy to fall into things because you're like

1:06:44

this could go from friends to not friends to

1:06:47

not friends so quickly so quickly that is

1:06:49

so quickly that is so That is so true.

1:06:51

I feel like there's not many

1:06:53

chronically single queer people. Like, you know?

1:06:55

Yeah, gay men. Well, yeah. Yeah.

1:06:57

They're like a different breed, though. I'm

1:07:00

so afraid. I have to say, I

1:07:02

think I forget about gay men.

1:07:04

Often in this podcast. Yeah, that's good.

1:07:06

They have their own space. They

1:07:08

don't know how many of them are

1:07:11

watching. Anyway, you know, like, really single,

1:07:13

like, like, I mean, obviously there's plenty of

1:07:15

single queer people out there, whatever. If you're

1:07:17

listening, we're praying for you. But the, most

1:07:20

of the like chronically single gay people I

1:07:22

know are gay men. Yeah. Because their

1:07:24

ecosystem is totally different. Like it's so more, you

1:07:26

know, this is such a generalization, but it's

1:07:28

so much more like sex first, sex forward, you

1:07:30

know, with grinder and things like that, especially at

1:07:32

least in the city and stuff. And then it

1:07:35

feels like lesbian, you know, queer dyke spaceses spaces

1:07:37

or a lot more like, like, like, Friends

1:07:39

and you know or like connection long-term

1:07:41

relationships You know you hauling and whatnot.

1:07:43

Yeah for sure also when I say

1:07:46

like chronically single I feel like I

1:07:48

also mean like Like people choosing to

1:07:50

be single yeah at the same time

1:07:52

You know what I mean? Because I'm just

1:07:54

now having this flashback to the conversation I

1:07:57

had before with the trans girl that she

1:07:59

was like It seems like

1:08:01

she wants to have a boyfriend or

1:08:03

like would be open to love

1:08:05

and Because she likes cis

1:08:08

straight men There is

1:08:10

like a there is like a singleness

1:08:12

that happens in those spaces too that

1:08:14

is like maybe not chosen Yeah, I

1:08:16

guess like rather than chronically single. I

1:08:18

mean like choosing singleness. Yeah, okay Do you

1:08:20

have anything exciting coming up that people should

1:08:22

check out? Yeah You can find me on

1:08:24

Instagram at Nico Carney most of my tour

1:08:26

dates and things are linked there I'm going

1:08:28

on tour in 2025 to hopefully a

1:08:30

lot of cities. So please if

1:08:32

you're digging this check me out. Yeah,

1:08:35

okay This is so awesome. Yeah, thanks to

1:08:37

me. Yeah likewise. Thanks for having me.

1:08:39

That was too easy Okay, yeah, all of Nico's

1:08:41

links will be in the description below. You

1:08:43

can follow him everywhere. Awesome. Cool.

1:08:45

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