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Okay. here's the show. show. It's

2:01

been a really fun summer,

2:03

but I'm looking for a

2:06

boo thing to split this

2:08

electric bill with. I'm going

2:11

to get out here and

2:13

do some cuffing. Hey there,

2:15

I'm John Glenn Hill. This

2:18

is explaining to me, the

2:20

podcast where we answer questions,

2:23

no matter how big or

2:25

how small. This week, we're

2:27

talking about the most wonderful

2:30

time of the year. No,

2:32

not Christmas, or Hanukkah, or

2:35

Kwanza, or even the 11th

2:37

anniversary of Beyonce's self-titled album.

2:40

But those are all good

2:42

guesses. Hi, my name is

2:44

Antaris, and I have a

2:47

question about cuffing season. curious

2:49

if people really do get

2:52

together more frequently in the

2:54

winter than they do this

2:56

summer. I thought of this

2:59

because one of my friends

3:01

recently swiped through every possible

3:04

hinge match and I wanted

3:06

to tell him that cuffing

3:08

season is right around the

3:11

corner and he might have

3:13

better luck. But is that

3:16

true? And

3:22

my understanding cuffing season is

3:24

an actual literal season, which

3:26

occurs between about October-ish, November-ish,

3:28

and kind of last until

3:30

the weather starts to get

3:32

good again, which in Seattle

3:34

isn't really until June. So

3:36

basically during that time of

3:38

year, people tend to want

3:40

to find somebody so that

3:43

they can, you know. not

3:45

be alone when it's chilly

3:47

and kind of shake off

3:49

that hot girl summer. Okay,

3:51

and you're on behalf

3:53

of a

3:55

friend, right? right?

3:57

this is what

3:59

got you

4:01

thinking thinking is

4:03

this real? is this

4:05

real? Yeah, it's kind of a

4:07

funny story story actually, so I was talking

4:09

to one of my friends who

4:11

has who has fairly recently gotten

4:13

back into the dreaded world

4:16

of app -based dating and

4:18

he was kind of lamenting

4:20

his struggles about how

4:22

the landscape is totally different.

4:24

A little different. A This

4:26

friend is actually my ex.

4:28

Let's call is actually my ex.

4:30

Let's call him George. We

4:32

on Tinder, tinder, oh goodness,

4:34

like nine years ago. we've

4:37

have remained very good friends since we

4:39

broke up like. since we broke up like

4:41

years ago, so. so he

4:43

And he was just feeling

4:45

a little discouraged about it, about

4:47

it. of of in... a playful, just

4:50

way. of way. like, was you know, don't

4:52

know, don't worry about it because cuffing season

4:54

is right around the corner. right There are going

4:56

to be... are many beautiful, eligible women

4:58

flooding the women And then it

5:00

kind of got me curious. It's

5:02

like, it kind of did I actually

5:04

just lie? like, oh, this true? I

5:07

actually just lie? Is this true? Do you

5:09

have any Do you have any working theories

5:11

on why we have a cuffing season? season? I

5:13

mean, mean, the when the weather is bad

5:15

and there's just not that many things

5:17

to do outside, I feel like loneliness

5:19

like kind of... hits differently? kind

5:21

of hits differently. And that

5:23

can, I guess, stir I guess

5:25

stir somebody into action, as far

5:28

as wanting to link up with link up

5:30

with somebody else who might also be

5:32

a little on the lonely side

5:34

and, you know, join forces to be

5:36

less lonely. lonely. Does George know you're calling?

5:38

Like, are are you going to him know,

5:40

like, like, I'm gonna find out for

5:42

sure out I set you on the

5:44

right path? you on the right actually, he does.

5:46

I let him know. him know. I told

5:48

him I was about to be about to be he

5:50

told me to not forget about he told me to

5:53

ha, ha, ha, ha! the little people.

5:55

Okay, so I have to so I have to admit.

5:57

I'm very familiar with the concept

5:59

of... season. I was introduced to

6:02

the term back in college and

6:04

even then it left its mark.

6:06

Many are more concerned about cutting

6:08

season. Cuffing season is a term

6:10

commonly used on the campus of

6:13

Howard University. That's a clip of

6:15

my friend Jobina doing a story

6:17

for our college news station. I

6:19

was the executive producer that year

6:22

which means someone pitched it and

6:24

I gave it the green line.

6:26

Truthfully... Relationships of all kinds have

6:28

always fascinated me. And try as

6:31

I might to make my brain

6:33

pass the Bechtel test, I can't

6:35

stay away from stuff like this.

6:37

So I have to admit, when

6:40

Antari's called in, she sparked my

6:42

inner Kerry Bradshaw. And I couldn't

6:44

help but wonder, is cuffing season

6:46

real? When the temperatures drop, do

6:49

our romantic prospects heat up? Q

6:51

the sex in the city adjacent

6:53

music that doesn't get us sued.

7:01

We started looking into this phenomenon

7:03

and figured the term had been

7:05

around for a while. So we

7:07

started tracing back references and found

7:09

the first person to mention it

7:11

online. That's so hilarious. I'm thinking

7:13

about a future where I'm telling

7:15

my kids like what things that

7:17

people might know me for and

7:19

popularizing the term cuffing season was

7:21

not what definitely wasn't on my

7:23

bingo card. This is Musa Murchison.

7:25

Now they're an artist and researcher

7:27

and though they didn't invent the

7:30

term cuffing season, they are responsible

7:32

for the oldest reference to cuffing

7:34

season we found online. I was

7:36

25. I was finishing up my

7:38

bachelor's degree at Brooklyn College and

7:40

I was majoring in television and

7:42

radio and we had a radio

7:44

station there where we could produce

7:46

our own shows. I was hosting

7:48

a show at the time called

7:50

Cuz We Said So Radio with

7:52

two of my homies that I

7:54

grew up. with Feach and tone

7:57

it was so

7:59

much fun to

8:01

just be on

8:03

as as a

8:05

platform where we

8:07

could tell stories about what was

8:09

happening for us culturally at the time. If

8:11

you grew up in New York, know

8:13

in Martinez. you I grew up watching Martin

8:15

and Martin had a radio show, so Martin Martin

8:18

and Martin had a radio show

8:20

so to be... So

8:22

yeah, there there was this tweet

8:24

from you that said, you

8:27

we said so, live on said

8:29

so, live on .org. Tonight's topic, tonight's topic,

8:31

wifing someone season, aka cuffing nay. yay or

8:33

Now I know it was

8:35

a while ago. but do you remember anything

8:38

you remember anything about that conversation?

8:40

stories, takes? Because I Because I can

8:42

only imagine what college students

8:44

in 2008 were saying about dating

8:46

and relationships at the time. at

8:48

gosh. Oh my gosh. So remember in that So Raven

8:50

she put the pieces of the

8:52

puzzle together and she did the

8:54

flashbacks, she did the to the future? the

8:56

flashbacks to you reached out to me

8:58

about this episode, I episode, I had that

9:00

reverse Raven moment. and I knew

9:02

exactly the tweet, exactly the show,

9:04

exactly how we set up the conversation,

9:07

up the and I was like, I

9:09

was like, oh I want to talk

9:11

about this publicly? about this publicly? So

9:13

I absolutely remember. I remember the

9:15

conversation. It was hilarious. was hilarious. us

9:17

what happened. happened. I mean, mean,

9:19

at this time, it's 2008, and

9:21

this is like really happening. is is season

9:24

is not a term I made not a term

9:26

I made up. It was a colloquialism

9:28

that we just knew. It was

9:30

like New York at the to me at

9:33

the time. And it was a

9:35

conversation that everybody was having. having. Like, seasons

9:37

little... Like, little cold, cold. you're gonna hang

9:39

with the hang with Do you want

9:41

like a more intimate connection intimate connection and

9:43

for a more intimate connection in a

9:45

cold season in a was time bound was time bound

9:47

something known as known as like cuff It's like

9:49

who am I going to be arm

9:51

-in -arm with to things get cold? Should

9:53

that be the route you take? that be the

9:56

What were people saying back then? back

9:58

then? Mixed reviews, you know. I remember

10:00

folks were like, like, yeah, why why not,

10:02

as long as you're trans. parent about

10:04

it it and you have have like parameters

10:06

and boundaries boundaries probably wasn't

10:08

the word we were using back

10:10

then the word we were using back But some

10:12

folks were like some folks commit

10:14

no, commit gonna commit, then

10:16

for a season use someone for

10:19

a was a mix. It

10:21

was a very mixed perspective. And

10:24

think there might have been some

10:26

folks who were not naming it,

10:28

but they were were a cuffing. I'm kind

10:30

of surprised by how how mainstream

10:32

it's gotten and how popular it's

10:34

gotten. know, you like talking about it with

10:36

dating apps, they know all about it.

10:38

it. had a song about it. a

10:40

SZA mentioned it in an mentioned Does

10:42

that surprise you at all, how it's

10:44

taken off? all, how Not at all

10:46

because off? culture informs so much. culture I

10:49

think, like, linguistically. I

10:51

mean, we've known that since

10:53

time, how much much. culture

10:55

can shape and inform. language, like there's

10:57

power power in the word we we

10:59

see things get picked up So we

11:01

hear it on the We hear it on the streets hear

11:03

it in then we hear it in our friend group. and then

11:05

then we hear it in songs and

11:07

then we see it on TV shows shows,

11:09

we see it on social it on not

11:11

surprising because I guess depending on if

11:13

we go era by era, whatever the

11:15

technology was technology was, culture found its way

11:17

to it, you know? it. You I'm not

11:20

surprised. not surprised. Yeah, not every not every

11:22

do you takes off. What

11:24

do you think it is about

11:26

cuffing season? That's so sticky. so why

11:28

is it are talking so many people are

11:30

talking about it that this is

11:32

something that reached the mainstream? Again, it's it's

11:34

language. Now, and what it and what what

11:36

it indicates could mean different things

11:39

to different people. think I think for

11:41

some people, it's fun to say be different

11:43

that could. different reactions for other

11:45

folks, because some people can hear

11:47

the word the and think about think about

11:49

like... present complex, some people can think

11:51

about can and think about cuffing be like, about

11:53

and it's about to get cold, and

11:55

with the to get cold, like I'm with the shits. I forgot,

11:57

I curse? you can you can we're a We're

11:59

a podcast. not. on the radio, FCC can't

12:01

stop us. FCC, hate to

12:03

see y'all coming. So yeah,

12:06

I think it's like the

12:08

language. I think there's something

12:10

enticing in the language of

12:12

it for folks about what

12:14

the promise of it is,

12:17

the promise of closeness, the

12:19

promise of intimacy, the promise

12:21

of companionship, the promise of

12:24

play, the promise of pleasure

12:26

of a season. I

12:28

mean, we are as humans, like we

12:30

need each other. Like, I don't know.

12:32

I don't know many people who are

12:34

not into a good snuggle, who when

12:37

the winter rolls around, it's just like,

12:39

wow, it's cold out there. Like, can

12:41

you come in here where it's warm

12:43

with me? I think, you know, we're

12:45

designed to be together. Moose

12:48

Emerchison. Thank you so much for explaining this

12:50

to us. And thank you and to the

12:53

rest of the New York delegation for giving

12:55

us cuffing season and also giving us dead

12:57

ass. I love dead ass. That's a good

12:59

one too. That's classic. Classic. That's going to

13:01

last that's got some shelf life on it

13:03

for sure. So as far as we can

13:06

tell the term cuffing season got its start

13:08

the way a lot of slang does. Young

13:10

black people in New York. That still doesn't

13:12

answer the question, though. Do we desire that

13:14

closeness more at the end of the year?

13:16

Stay close like cuffing season. We'll be right

13:19

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out more. more. Hey, it's Liam

14:43

from Dakota with Neelai Patel. Liam from a

14:45

lot of time talking We spend a lot of

14:47

time talking about some of the most

14:49

important people in tech and business what

14:51

what they're putting resources to why why they

14:53

think it's so critical for the future.

14:55

That's why we're doing this special series,

14:57

diving into some of the most unique

14:59

ways companies are spending money today. For

15:01

instance, what does it mean to start

15:03

buying and using AI at work? How How

15:05

much is that costing companies? What products

15:07

are they buying? And most importantly, what

15:10

are they doing with it? it? And of

15:12

course, podcasts. Yes, the thing the thing you're

15:14

listening to. to now. Well, it's it's increasingly being

15:16

produced directly by companies like venture capital

15:18

firms, investment funds, and a new

15:20

crop of creators who one day want

15:22

to be investors themselves. And what

15:24

is actually going on with these

15:26

acquisitions this year, especially in the

15:28

AI space? AI Why are so many

15:30

big players in tech deciding not

15:32

to acquire and instead tech and and

15:34

hire away co The answer, The answer, it

15:36

turns out, is a lot more

15:38

complicated than it seems. You'll hear

15:40

all that and more on month on

15:43

Decoder Unlie Patel. Present it. Stripe. You can

15:45

You can listen to Decoder you

15:47

get your your podcasts. Okay,

15:55

so so some we have some

15:57

background on where the term originated.

15:59

But. but Is it real? And

16:01

if it is, how would

16:03

we even know? We should

16:05

be clear. Humans don't have

16:07

a mating season, but are

16:09

there patterns that emerge that

16:11

can tell us something? For

16:13

that, we turn to Allison

16:15

Gimmel of the Hopkins Population

16:17

Center. She's a professor, a

16:19

demographer, and a perianatal epidemiologist.

16:21

That means she studies fertility

16:23

and reproductive behaviors and outcomes.

16:26

Allison works with data, so we

16:28

asked her what the research says.

16:30

We don't know if there's necessarily

16:32

certain times of the year that

16:34

people are getting together, but in

16:36

terms of actual sexual activity, there's

16:38

not good data on it. One

16:40

pretty strong hypothesis is that there

16:42

are holidays that happen, and that

16:44

provides ample opportunities for people to

16:47

engage in sexual activity. But other

16:49

than that, there really isn't good

16:51

data on it, and that's because

16:53

sexual activities just really, we don't

16:55

collect a lot of data on

16:57

sexual activity in our nationally representative

16:59

surveys, let's say. Or if we

17:01

do collect it, we're kind of

17:03

unsure about the quality of those

17:05

data. And I think, you know,

17:07

maybe when we're thinking about new

17:09

modes of data collection, it would

17:11

be great to like follow people

17:13

over time and get real-time answers

17:15

on their sexual activity and learn

17:17

about patterns, but we just haven't

17:19

invested in those types of studies

17:21

because sexuality research is just underfunded

17:23

generally in the US. But until

17:25

we have those new modes of

17:27

data collection, we'll just have to

17:29

go back to what works, counting

17:31

backwards on our fingers. I joke

17:33

a lot about my birthday. I'm

17:36

a September birthday, just to put

17:38

that out there, and I joke

17:40

that I'm a Christmas Eve baby.

17:42

And I think maybe other people

17:44

have, you know, they can count

17:46

back nine months and think about

17:48

when they might have been conceived.

17:50

So can we expect to get

17:52

a bunch of birth announcements delivered

17:54

nine months after cuffing season? In

17:56

a place like the U.S. we

17:58

actually see a

18:00

very strong peak

18:02

in happen around

18:04

August or September. September.

18:06

very evident. and it

18:08

occurs from conceptions that

18:11

are happening around November

18:13

and December. and So So

18:15

this is happening during

18:17

late late fall, early winter and it

18:19

could again align with this with this

18:21

idea of guffing season

18:23

happening. In a place like

18:25

Australia, they actually see a

18:27

peak and happening between February

18:29

to April, to which is very

18:32

different from the US. And

18:34

then that aligns with with

18:36

happening around their winter

18:38

time, which is really

18:40

interesting. interesting. Now, before we deliver

18:42

a verdict on on season, I

18:44

wanna make clear, to make these are

18:46

just patterns. patterns. Is this causation,

18:48

correlation? Allison says, a a designed

18:51

to look at exactly that,

18:53

it's hard to say for

18:55

sure. sure. And And remember,

18:57

all not all forms of cuffing

18:59

will necessarily result in a a

19:01

birth. So there's been a lot been

19:03

a lot of speculation about why we

19:05

about why we see seasonality and

19:08

conceptions and of it is Some of

19:10

it to related to things in

19:12

the environment like temperature, for

19:14

example, or sunlight

19:16

exposure, which could affect hormonal

19:18

concentrations or even things like sperm

19:20

quality. But But then we also

19:23

know that there's a strong behavioral

19:25

link with when people are trying

19:27

for pregnancy. And when we

19:29

think we think about elective abortion,

19:31

so so people that want their

19:33

pregnancy, in the the US looks

19:35

like abortions tend to peak

19:37

after the holiday season, season, so February

19:39

or March. or March. So it

19:42

suggests that potentially unintended pregnancies might

19:44

be happening around the holidays around

19:46

the as well. or New Year's as

19:48

conception and birth data give us a

19:50

clue. give us a clue, but some

19:52

still remain. remain. When I was When

19:55

I was thinking about get would

19:57

I get data for this specific

19:59

question around cuffing? then I just

20:01

don't know if it

20:03

exists in our traditional

20:06

sources. And that's why

20:08

I think the evidence

20:10

from the dating apps

20:13

is really important. We

20:15

have to go to

20:18

these non-traditional data sources

20:20

as researchers to learn about basic

20:22

human behavior, which is partnership. Some

20:24

of their brands that you might

20:26

recognize are Tinder, Hinge, the League,

20:28

and match.com. Every dating app has

20:31

its own vibe regardless of who

20:33

owns it, and OKCupid is all

20:35

about the questions. And look, we

20:37

should acknowledge that of course dating

20:40

apps want us to believe cuffing

20:42

season is real. Kind of like

20:44

the way Mexican restaurants are invested

20:46

in the existence of Taco Tuesday.

20:48

That being said, apps are a

20:51

treasure trove of dating data that

20:53

we've never really had before. We

20:55

match people on what matters to

20:57

them through matching questions. So there

20:59

are thousands of questions in our

21:02

app. They're obviously related to dating

21:04

relationships and sex, but... Also anything

21:06

that's top of mind for Gen

21:08

Z and millennial data. So if

21:11

there's a topic that you're talking

21:13

about with your friend or your

21:15

family member or your co-worker, we're

21:17

adding questions about that to the

21:19

app because chances are you're probably

21:22

talking about it on a date

21:24

as well. And our matching questions

21:26

are really our standout feature. Ask

21:28

everything you can imagine. We ask

21:30

about coffee dates and horror movies

21:33

and hiking and what you're binging

21:35

all the way to how you

21:37

feel about climate change and racial

21:39

injustice, marriage equality, reproductive health care,

21:42

list goes on. If you've used

21:44

the app, then you know, it's

21:46

a lot of questions, but... Those

21:48

questions are especially helpful for us

21:50

because they could contain the key

21:53

to figuring out when people couple

21:55

up and why. There's two...

21:57

areas that we

21:59

look at at to help

22:01

us figure us figure out a little

22:03

bit more about user what and what they're

22:06

looking for and what their intent is. One

22:08

is the box that they're checking

22:10

on their profile of what they're looking

22:12

for, whether that's long -term dating, short

22:15

-term dating, friendships or chatting, I

22:17

will say. I will say users

22:19

don't actually change that that often.

22:21

we also we also look at

22:23

our matching questions and how

22:25

answering our are answering our questions. So

22:27

some of those of those questions what's

22:29

more important to you right

22:31

now, whether that's love versus

22:33

sex. What are you looking

22:35

for right now? right How long do you

22:37

want your next relationship to last? to So

22:39

we pay a lot of attention to to those

22:42

matching questions and how people are responding

22:44

to them. one of my favorite parts of

22:46

my job over the past five years

22:48

here. years that I actually get to draft our questions

22:50

and add them to the app. add them I

22:52

asked I to lay the peaks and valleys

22:54

of the dating year out for me. out for

22:56

me. So if we start at the beginning

22:58

of the year, of the many people might

23:00

not know that this is a thing,

23:03

but there is a holiday for us

23:05

within the dating space. It's called Dating

23:07

Sunday, also called Single Sunday. Single Sunday. I thought

23:09

thought people were pranking me when they

23:11

told me that when I first

23:13

started first started it. Okay, was like, I was really

23:15

our holiday? And they're like, this

23:17

is our they're like, this is our Super Bowl. Really? Okay.

23:19

there's a dating there's like the

23:22

Super Bowl of Super Bowl is a

23:24

Super Bowl of Dating, which is

23:26

the biggest day for online dating

23:28

and it falls on the first

23:30

Sunday in January. it So this is

23:32

where we in January. So this is where we at

23:34

Okay Cupid all the apps, we tend

23:37

to see a skyrocket in activity

23:39

and engagement on the app. So

23:41

that's the first surge that we

23:43

see during, you you know, during

23:45

the beginning of the year. of We

23:47

then see another bump in activity

23:50

during Valentine's Day. Day. we look

23:52

back at back at from this past

23:54

year from 2024, there is a.

23:56

from 2024, there is a 109%

23:58

increase in on OK. Cupid who

24:00

said said it's more important

24:02

for them to find their

24:04

forever person right now being able to

24:06

date around able to date around for a

24:09

while. and And then when Fall

24:11

and Winter hit again, the time

24:13

when she said she thinks cuffing season

24:15

might start. okay, Cupid's data does show an

24:17

interesting increase. at the beginning

24:19

of coughing season last year,

24:21

there was a 26 % increase

24:24

between October and December of

24:26

people saying, I'm know, I'm

24:28

looking for my forever person

24:30

right now, I'm not looking for

24:32

something casual, great if you

24:34

are, if just not. not

24:36

for me. Then the data team

24:39

team at Cupid looking more

24:41

closely closely at the So, last

24:43

year we also found that

24:45

that There There was a 10

24:47

% increase in I'm absolutely ready absolutely

24:50

ready to settle down right

24:52

now. I'm ready to get

24:54

married during that same time

24:56

period that October to December.

24:58

And the second surge came

25:00

right after Valentine's Day in

25:03

March, Day in saw We % increase.

25:05

And then we saw a

25:07

19 % increase in July How

25:09

to February. How do those

25:11

cuffing season metrics to to

25:13

our girl metrics. We see

25:15

similar trends, but there's

25:17

a flip in intention. in

25:19

intention. So there's still bumps

25:22

in activity and engagement and

25:24

people dating, and but the intent

25:26

in which they're going into this

25:28

dating up experience is different. this

25:30

you talk about these peaks and dating,

25:33

how do you all measure that? about these

25:35

start and dating, how do

25:37

you all measure is one of the

25:39

metrics that we look at that

25:41

really spikes during dating dating Sunday. So So

25:43

are definitely one of the first metrics

25:45

that we see jump. then

25:48

jump, but then also seeing.

25:50

likes and and messages and

25:52

spike as as well this time, this time

25:54

in in general are a really

25:57

great day for online dating throughout

25:59

the entire So yes, dating

26:01

Sunday is significantly higher than

26:03

those other Sundays, but if

26:05

we look week by week

26:07

by week, Sunday afternoons are

26:09

the busiest time for dating

26:11

apps in general. Do people

26:13

match more during cuffing season

26:15

two or is it just

26:18

more like, all right, the

26:20

hunt is on a little

26:22

bit more? I was wondering

26:24

if you were going to

26:26

ask me that today and

26:28

I figured... Let me get

26:30

ahead of this and let

26:32

me ask our dateers about

26:34

this. So we actually asked

26:36

our dateers this week how

26:38

they were feeling and if

26:41

they believe cuffing season was

26:43

real, if they were going

26:45

on more dates right now.

26:47

And this is the first

26:49

time I'm sharing this. Oh

26:51

my gosh, our impact. People

26:53

are finding love. This is

26:55

your impact. This is hot

26:57

off the press. This has

26:59

never been shared before. But

27:02

what we're finding right now

27:04

is that 63% of people

27:06

believe coughing season is real

27:08

and they're looking for love

27:10

right now and more than

27:12

half of people said they

27:14

are actually going on more

27:16

dates during fall and winter

27:18

compared to spring and summer.

27:20

So it seems like there

27:22

is some data that's just

27:25

people do have a tendency

27:27

to seek romantic relationships in

27:29

the fall and winter. Why?

27:31

That's after the break. Thumbtak

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Download Thumbtak today. This message is

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Pay. to When you've got a gift list

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of Apple Inc. Any card used

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in Apple Pay is offered by

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the of Apple Inc. Any card used

28:36

in Apple Pay is offered by

28:38

the card issuer. Matters of the

28:40

heart of the be can't be

28:42

reduced down to numbers. Why Why

28:44

is cuffing season a thing? And what's

28:46

the the best way to navigate

28:48

it? it? To To find out,

28:51

we reached out to Devin Simone.

28:53

Simone. She's a matchmaker and is is

28:55

also resident dating expert. also met She

28:57

also met her husband app. We went

28:59

dating app. ago went on a

29:01

date years ago, and then

29:03

we didn't go out again for

29:05

a while, and then we

29:07

reconnected we reconnected I asked to see his dating asked

29:10

to see his dating that point at

29:12

that point, you're already getting And I

29:14

went through his photos, his photos. I

29:16

actually I was like, it these

29:18

are so bad, I never would have swiped right on

29:20

you. never would have swiped right on you. Deven

29:23

told me that Tinder sees more

29:25

swiping, matching, chatting during season, especially around

29:27

dating Sunday. dating Sunday. And according to

29:30

Tinder, to last year's dating Sunday

29:32

was the busiest day of the

29:34

year in online dating. And

29:36

users tended to send more likes,

29:38

more send more messages more respond faster.

29:41

faster. Okay, let's let's get

29:43

to the million-dollar question. Is cuffing

29:45

season real? And I'm gonna ask

29:47

it like two ways. First, like you

29:49

think cuffing season is real? And second,

29:52

does the data agree with that? the

29:54

data agree with that? is

29:56

so real. so real. Far realer

29:59

than my hair. It is real. And

30:01

yes, the data agrees. Now, there

30:03

is some ambiguity as to the

30:05

culprit, right? Like, there are theories

30:08

or a hypothesis around why that

30:10

is, but the data definitely shows

30:12

that people are more open to

30:14

creating and fostering relationships during the

30:17

fall, early winter, How do you

30:19

try to even start to figure

30:21

this out? Like what do you

30:23

look for to determine like when

30:25

these peaks are happening? Well, we

30:28

can search the activity, right? Like

30:30

in general, we can see how

30:32

many people are logged on, right,

30:34

or like actively swiping or engaging.

30:37

It's just like that part's pretty

30:39

easy. But then also as a

30:41

matchmaker with my background, over the

30:43

last, you know, seven or eight

30:45

years, it's seeing when people are

30:48

reaching out and saying, hey, okay,

30:50

I'm ready to work with a

30:52

matchmaker. I'm ready to go on

30:54

some dates. Hey, I'm single. Okay,

30:57

I want to get into some

30:59

of the hypotheses behind cuffing season.

31:01

Can you talk about that a

31:03

little bit? We know that in

31:05

the fall, here in the US,

31:08

it gets colder, it gets a

31:10

little darker, and that plays a

31:12

real role in you're moved and

31:14

how you react to things. Like

31:17

as sophisticated as we become with

31:19

technology, we are still humans at

31:21

our core. It's totally normal for

31:23

you to sort of feel, even

31:25

if it's subconsciously, like you're kind

31:28

of craving something that brings a

31:30

little bit of joy. When it's

31:32

cold. you're not really going to

31:34

an outdoor concert when it's 30

31:37

degrees. Very true. You might go

31:39

to the holiday mark, but it's

31:41

gonna be a much shorter trip

31:43

than in the middle of summer.

31:46

So you have a little more

31:48

time to connect and meet people

31:50

or you're looking for someone to

31:52

do some of those, some other

31:54

activities that you can do, particularly

31:57

indoors. And then also a little

31:59

bit of. pressure JQ. So with

32:01

it being holiday around our

32:03

families more, our families more, right? And our

32:05

families may be lovely and

32:07

well and but many

32:09

of us have that nosy

32:11

aunt have uncle or grandma

32:13

uncle or cousin or whomever

32:15

or whomever who's like, so who are you dating,

32:17

you know, know, or or who you just want. just

32:20

want a partner to experience that

32:22

with you, the of of your family friends

32:24

with you. so you don't wanna go

32:26

to Thanksgiving dinner alone or Christmas or Christmas or Hanukkah

32:28

or what have you. you. So So what we see a

32:30

see a lot of that the in the

32:32

commercial imagery, a lot of relationship and romance romance

32:34

and every kiss begins with, you know,

32:36

all of that stuff. also so that also

32:38

can kind of make us feel like, I should

32:41

I should probably, know, I you know, I

32:43

want some of that. should. get a partner too. too.

32:45

And we do we do see see an

32:47

in in people refreshing their profiles

32:49

that time of year. That's another

32:51

thing that kind of triggers us

32:53

that of there's a us that like, oh, there's

32:55

we see people, again, being more

32:58

active and responsive on the app. up

33:00

We followed up with Tinder to get some specifics. According

33:03

to Tinder, over the past three

33:05

years, there has been a consistently

33:07

high amount of activity on the

33:09

app during the first two weeks

33:12

of November. November. Though the highest amount

33:14

of activity on the app happens

33:16

from the start of the new

33:18

year to Valentine's the new There are

33:20

11 million more messages 11 58 million

33:22

more likes during this time as

33:24

compared to the rest of the

33:26

year. time as Interestingly, to the their second

33:28

the season of activity comes right

33:31

after Valentine's Day. of That calls comes right

33:33

after season. Day. That calls that uncuffing

33:35

talked about the what and the

33:37

why. the Now, why. Now, let's get into the

33:40

how. the how. whether it's cuffing season or not. or

33:42

not, do you make the connection

33:44

happen? happen? Okay, Okay, tips so so for

33:46

for people looking to get

33:49

cuffed on and off the

33:51

a great time to photos. Now great

33:53

time to refresh your photos,

33:55

especially because the lighting is actually

33:57

beautiful. It's a great time.

33:59

Ideally them outdoors. in some areas it's a

34:01

little cold, you don't have to be

34:03

up there a lot for long. You

34:06

can ask your friend to take a

34:08

couple photos for you, a failing member,

34:10

or you can set the timer on

34:12

your phone and just prop your phone

34:14

up. Don't do all selfies, it serves

34:17

no one. But a couple of refresh

34:19

photos will be good. It also can

34:21

sometimes refresh your profile in the algorithm

34:23

when you make that change. So if

34:25

you have years and years old, give

34:28

them a quick refresh. 45 words in

34:30

their bio tend to have a better

34:32

experience on the app. If you want

34:34

to cheat sheet on how to write

34:36

a bio, put together a couple quick

34:39

facts about yourself, and then go to

34:41

ChatGBT or Claude and say, I am

34:43

a, and then enter your age, enter

34:45

your gender, saying, looking to attract a.

34:47

enter the age range gender, please use

34:50

these facts to write a short witty

34:52

compelling bio to attract what I'm looking

34:54

for and give me options and it'll

34:56

do that and then respond quickly like

34:59

when you do match make sure you're

35:01

actually you know as soon as you

35:03

get a notification oh you got a

35:05

match send a quick hello ask them

35:07

what are they excited about coming up

35:10

next year that's a really easy question

35:12

prompt that's helpful and just start engaging

35:14

in the conversation now. Outside of the

35:16

apps, every holiday party you get invited

35:18

to, every event, even if you don't

35:21

want to go, even if you have

35:23

never been interested in how to make

35:25

rainbow-colored gluten-free pasta, I don't care, if

35:27

you get an invite, go and look

35:29

cute when you go because you never,

35:32

ever know where destiny is waiting for

35:34

you. You just never know. And maybe

35:36

you meet something at someone at the

35:38

cooking class, but maybe you meet someone

35:40

who becomes a friend whose friend is

35:43

your person. You should just go. You

35:45

can always leave. You can always leave

35:47

early. You can always leave early. You

35:49

can always leave early. You can always

35:52

leave early. You can always leave early.

35:54

I do always say the love of

35:56

your life could be one or two

35:58

homeboys away. Yeah. Never count anything out.

36:00

Absolutely. Just don't go back and forth

36:03

between the same homeboys. Yeah, don't do

36:05

that. Don't. Now that's a bad look.

36:07

Don't. do that. Okay, do you have

36:09

any other advice for navigating the apps?

36:11

Another thing is close out of your

36:14

app so force close it and when

36:16

you're in a neighborhood or an area

36:18

that you think caters to the demographic

36:20

of people you're trying to attract Open

36:22

the app and then set your location

36:25

filter to small for that time right

36:27

because you want to like capitalize on

36:29

whatever area you're in so maybe it's

36:31

the place in your town that has

36:33

like all the new restaurants and like

36:36

the cool like hangouts or whatever refresh

36:38

it there because it's gonna ping you

36:40

to other singles that are utilizing that

36:42

app in that space. Hi! Hello! How

36:45

is the weather up in Seattle? You

36:47

know it's actually a pretty dry day

36:49

which is really nice and fairly rare

36:51

for a December here so not mad.

36:53

How has his dating life been... going

36:56

since we last talk? Any new developments?

36:58

Any like potential out there? You know,

37:00

I think that he decided to delete

37:02

his hinge out of frustration. Okay, well,

37:04

hopefully I have some good news for

37:07

him that you can give him. Okay,

37:09

so we talked to a few people.

37:11

I told Antari's about Moussa, their radio

37:13

show, and the first online reference to

37:15

Cuffing season. Oh, that's amazing! My dad

37:18

also went to Brooklyn College, so that's

37:20

super cool. Yeah, I mean, love to

37:22

hear it. Zero surprise there, though. I

37:24

also told Antarese about some of the

37:27

data we found and all of the

37:29

caveats that come along with it. And

37:31

finally, I told Antarese about what we

37:33

learned from Michael. So when we reached

37:35

out to OKCuba about this, they added

37:38

a question about cuffing season. No way!

37:40

Yeah, and 63 percent... of people believe

37:42

cuffing season is real. they're

37:44

looking for love right

37:46

now and more

37:49

than half of people

37:51

said they're actually

37:53

going on more dates

37:55

during the fall

37:57

and winter compared to

38:00

spring and summer. dates

38:02

during the fall incredible. compared to

38:04

And all of

38:06

that being said God,

38:08

is one day the

38:11

entire year that

38:13

has the most activity

38:15

on all of

38:17

the dating apps. most activity

38:20

on you wanna guess when it is? apps. Do you

38:22

it guess when it is? Is it February 13th? That

38:24

is a very good guess. with the

38:26

most The day with the most

38:28

activity on apps is in

38:30

January. refer to Dating app folks refer

38:32

to it as it's the Sunday

38:34

and it's the first Sunday after

38:36

the new year. Like it's

38:38

internally like a huge event for

38:40

them. It is It is their Oh,

38:42

wow. Oh wow. Yeah, you you know, that

38:44

does does make a lot of

38:46

sense as well You know, you

38:48

know, New Year, New Commitment, New Boo. So

38:50

I'm curious what curious what you think

38:52

of all the information you have. you have. Yeah, I

38:55

mean, I mean is just such a

38:57

wealth a wealth of information about.

38:59

Not only just cuffing season and

39:01

dating and but I mean but I

39:03

mean, also birth found so much out.

39:05

I feel like it's all

39:07

been explained to me. I'm so

39:09

happy about this. to me.

39:12

I'm so happy about this. I'm I'm

39:14

so glad we could explain this

39:16

to you. this thank you for taking

39:18

the time to dig into this question.

39:20

into yeah, I'm just so happy to

39:22

be able to help to out and

39:25

just, you know, any other friends

39:27

who are looking for love, so. for love.

39:29

So thank you. Thank

39:35

you to Antares for the question

39:37

question you to you to Musa Murchison, Michael

39:39

Kay, and Kay, for the answer.

39:41

for If you have a question

39:43

you want answered, you you're in

39:45

luck. That's what we

39:47

do. That's All you have to

39:49

do is call 1 -800 -618 -8545.

39:52

this If you enjoyed this episode

39:54

or any of our episodes,

39:56

share it with cuffing buddy, buddy, your

39:58

friends, your family. family. even your sworn

40:00

enemy. enemy. Also, leave us a review. We're

40:02

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40:04

helps people find the podcast. This

40:06

episode was produced by me, Jonklin episode was

40:09

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