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0:29
The Athletic
0:52
The
0:58
managerial
0:59
disciplinary tightrope. Premier
1:02
League
1:05
years showing its true
1:08
value. Non-league vicars.
1:17
When
1:23
exactly did old-fashioned number nines become
1:25
old-fashioned? Scorelines that don't
1:27
tell the full story. The language of Erling
1:30
Haaland missing chances. Can two players
1:32
hunt in packs? Tenuous football curses.
1:35
The Spice Rack league table. Seeing
1:37
your name in the headlines. Where and when
1:39
is it most appropriate to do the G-ing up the crowd
1:41
gesture? And the Rolls-Royce
1:44
of the sea. Brought to your ears by The
1:46
Athletic. This
1:47
is Football Clichés.
1:50
Hello everyone and welcome to episode 256
1:53
of Football Clichés. I'm
1:55
Adam Hurray and with me on the adjudication
1:57
panel, once again,
1:58
Charlie Eccleshair. How's it going? It's going well. How
2:01
are you? Yeah, not too bad at all. Alongside
2:03
you, David Walker. Hi, Dave. Big
2:06
weekend for you. You're in Munich, I see. Lovely
2:08
tweet from you. A classic stag
2:10
do behaviour here. You went to see 1860
2:13
Munich. I did. Before
2:15
you tell me what it was like, here's what I theorise
2:18
it was like. This is how all football
2:20
matches on stag do's go. You had a good time at
2:23
the start getting into it because you're football literate,
2:25
so you're quite happy to be there and you
2:27
have your beers. You quite like the atmosphere
2:29
and the novelty of being there.
2:31
And then it just kind of wore off.
2:33
You got a bit cold and you went to leave. No, no,
2:35
we had a much better time than that.
2:37
The weather was great, so it didn't get cold. If
2:41
anything, it was too hot. There was no
2:43
shade. We were on a terrace with
2:45
beating sunshine and most of
2:47
us were wearing black as well. So, you know,
2:50
that was difficult. But thankfully you can
2:52
drink beer in the stands in Germany, so we were able
2:54
to cool ourselves down with some of those. It
2:56
was a decent game. One nil win for 1860 Munich
2:59
against Freiburg Svei.
3:01
Freiburg 2. Oh, right. What
3:03
league? Third tier. Oh,
3:05
is it really? Because I'd say another staple
3:07
of watching, especially lower league football on
3:09
a stag is what do you reckon school would be if
3:12
we played them?
3:13
I'd say, you know, but do you reckon 10-0? What
3:15
would it sort of be? When
3:18
I went and saw 1860 Munich, they were lower down
3:20
in the pyramid at that point. Some of
3:23
those discussions, especially after a few beers, like,
3:25
no, like maybe it starts to happen.
3:28
No, they were a decent outfit.
3:30
Both teams were decent. We wouldn't have had a chance. Didn't
3:33
realise they were third tier, I have to say. So
3:35
you can become like an unbearable Bundesliga guy
3:37
now? Well, no. I don't think I'm going to be
3:39
tuning in every week, but I think I will
3:42
follow their fortunes from afar. I like
3:44
the 1860 vibe.
3:45
Look out for their results? Yeah.
3:48
Nice. Okay, let's adjudication panel.
3:50
In no particular order, really. I've just thrown this
3:52
together, but it's all really good. Let's start with
3:55
RJB1998, who is watching Celtic
3:57
vs Rangers in the Scottish Women's Premier
3:59
League. League and he simply says, has
4:01
this ever been said about a manager before? If
4:03
I'm at the area where you can see, sorry. Fran,
4:07
a lawn's all getting a yellow card. You'll
4:10
have to be careful for the ravine to the digging
4:11
in. Walking
4:14
a tightrope. Well, this is it, Charlie.
4:17
Maybe it's natural where we're kind of normalising
4:19
the disciplinary process for managers.
4:22
He does have to be careful. Maybe the principle does apply
4:24
to managers. Yeah, I mean, I suppose it is true.
4:26
And if it was someone like Deserby, say, in
4:28
the Premier League, you can imagine
4:31
quite easy that he would get a second booking.
4:33
I guess it's just the fact that
4:35
the cost of it is a lot lower
4:37
than a player getting sent off. That's true. Yeah,
4:39
that's true. I like the idea potentially
4:42
of, I don't know, this, maybe this has happened
4:44
at some point, who knows, but a referee pointing
4:47
to three different areas in the technical area. That's
4:50
an easy job, isn't it? Easy. If
4:53
there was a sort of border one, it's like, if he's not on a booking,
4:55
that's the second yellow all day
4:57
long. He's got away with one there. Yeah, just
5:00
a little talking to. Okay, Dave, Charlie
5:03
has rightly said that the stakes are a little bit lower
5:05
for the disciplinary tightrope for a manager.
5:07
But does the principle of the statements that apply, do
5:09
they have to be careful? I mean,
5:11
is the same level of kind of risk
5:13
involved here? I suppose it is, because one bit of
5:15
backchats of the ref and you probably are off. So
5:17
I think the same model applies. Yeah,
5:20
I think so. Yeah, it's important for these guys to be right
5:23
there, so they don't want to be sent off, do they? It
5:25
looks like in the pictures that we've got
5:27
here, Fran Alonso, the manager in
5:29
question, is now standing with his hands behind his
5:31
back. So it does look like he's on his best
5:33
behaviour. Try not to handball it when
5:36
a cross comes in. No,
5:38
I can see this catching on. I mean,
5:40
you know, I think referees are getting more and more engaged
5:42
with this. So I can see it catching on. Managers
5:44
have been careful. It'll become more of a thing. Do you think there'll
5:46
be like a five bookings for a manager
5:49
gets that one game ban and
5:51
there's a big sort of worry as that sort of a point
5:53
of the season is almost
5:56
coming to an end? I suspect one of the big
5:58
differences here, the one thing that...
5:59
will never really achieve
6:02
with managerial disciplinary processes is
6:04
that Charlie, a manager is never going to get booked in the first
6:07
two minutes. Like that's gonna have to be careful
6:09
now for the next 88 minutes.
6:12
Why do you think not? I don't think
6:14
anyone's going to get that riled in two
6:16
minutes. Maybe, but like if there was a really
6:18
contentious penalty decision or something... It's
6:21
possible, but I feel like it's more of a build up. It's
6:23
definitely less likely, but I think
6:25
it could happen. Okay, fine.
6:27
Next one, Charlie, you're gonna love this. Absolutely
6:30
love it. This came from Mickey the Macam who's watching
6:32
Luke O'Nyen's My Sunderland Story
6:35
for the club's YouTube channel. Here's O'Nyen
6:37
talking about when he first joined the club.
6:52
I
6:56
used to think it was just really nice. I used to think
6:58
about it really charming.
7:03
I'm
7:08
stunned. I really thought
7:10
that was just the preserve of the
7:13
slightly older generation to still... That
7:15
it carries on to people of that age. I
7:17
mean, he would barely have been sort of football conscious
7:20
when it was still the Premiership. Yeah.
7:22
I mean, he genuinely would have bit... It was last
7:25
what, 15 years ago or something? Yeah. 15, 16 years ago? And
7:28
he looks about not much older than that himself.
7:30
He's 28 currently, born in November 1994. He's 28
7:34
that guy. Oh, I thought
7:36
he was much younger. God, shows how old I'm going. Dave,
7:38
Mickey the Macam continues. Imagine the Premiership
7:40
years being your only news source, finding out
7:42
about the Iraq war, nine months later sandwiched
7:44
between Leicester beating Leeds and Arsenal's injury crisis.
7:48
I mean, we know about footballers
7:50
who don't like football and don't like consuming it. Maybe
7:52
there are footballers who just consume life through
7:54
football and nothing else. We need to get him on and
7:57
put him to the test against Charlie C.
7:59
See if he's got a similarly encyclopedic
8:02
knowledge of all of the Premier League years. Well,
8:04
he can spot stadiums on Premier League
8:07
years, so Charlie, what a challenge that would be.
8:09
Seems like a nice glow. I'll happily have him on the pod.
8:11
Let's see how we go. Right, fantastic. Moment
8:13
for one of our ongoing devices here. Dave
8:15
Molcock writes in, says, I'm in training to become
8:18
a vicar and had a weekend away meeting other
8:20
people who are training. Meeting one person
8:22
chatting about how we were finding training, he said to me,
8:24
Well, I'm training part-time for my sins.
8:27
I couldn't hold my composure and had to laugh, which obviously
8:29
drew a blank expression. Surely the most significant
8:31
context for a For My Sins ever. The
8:34
first genuinely
8:37
religious For My Sins we've had, Dave.
8:39
I think,
8:40
I mean, it's good that they're just throwing this
8:42
phrase around in this circle. So does he feel
8:45
like he genuinely has sinned? So surely
8:47
you'd want to throw yourself into
8:49
it more? He's not giving it 110%, is he Charlie? Part-time vicar.
8:54
That is a mate. Yeah, I mean, I hoped when
8:56
you said that that was going to be the big reveal
8:58
here. But yeah, part-time, that's a weird
9:00
thing to focus on that that's the sinsey bit. I like
9:02
the idea of all the vicars going away and training
9:05
together.
9:06
This is St George's Park style
9:08
on a chorus. This folks just a non-league vicar
9:10
though. He's got to go back and like, ply his trade
9:12
elsewhere. They're doing their badges.
9:15
Church of England DNA.
9:18
Fantastic stuff. Right.
9:21
This is very curious, actually. This came from commentator
9:23
Dan Mason. Who's watching a clip from the
9:25
BBC build-up to the 1973 FA Cup Final. Sunderland
9:29
versus Leeds, I believe. And there's
9:32
a portion of the build-up was set
9:34
aside for the Sunderland players to be introduced
9:36
to the viewers.
9:37
Here we go. Now we're going to invite you to formally
9:39
meet the teams playing in this FA
9:41
Cup Final today. And we're going to start with the Sunderland
9:44
players. And Arthur Cox is
9:46
the man that we've asked to make this introductions for
9:48
us. He is the Sunderland coach. Vic
9:51
Hallam, age 24, forward. We
9:54
think Vic Leeds are a line like Bobby Smith
9:57
and Nat Loftouse led Tottenham
9:59
and Bolton.
9:59
lines, an old-fashioned type
10:02
of centre forward. So, as Dan
10:04
Mason observes Charlie, I
10:07
like that even 50 years ago centre forwards could be
10:09
categorised as being old-fashioned. This
10:11
is amazing. So, at what point
10:14
weren't they? What point were they not
10:16
even cutting edge? What point were they not even worthy
10:18
of commenting on? That is going, I mean,
10:20
you've got to be going back some way. I mean, do you think
10:22
in the 1930 World Cup they were talking
10:24
about, yeah, it's just an old-fashioned
10:27
proper centre forward? Let's treat this
10:29
seriously,
10:29
Dave. I would say the mid to late
10:32
50s is the heyday of the old-fashioned
10:35
centre forward as we now call them. Now, they
10:37
were in their pomp, the battering rams
10:39
and the focal points and the noble
10:41
goal-scorers and, you
10:44
know, your Nat Loft houses and that sort of stuff. Legacy-defining
10:47
players. And then somewhere between,
10:50
somewhere in the next 15 years, I
10:52
guess, they became old-fashioned. So, maybe they kind
10:54
of became not obsolete, but less
10:56
fashionable sometime in the 60s then, I
10:58
guess. But what were the, who
11:01
were the sort of modern centre forwards
11:03
at that time? Because obviously, you know, they weren't playing
11:05
like false nines or anything or inside, were they
11:08
inside forwards? That sort of thing. And the game
11:10
wasn't softening up, was it? Yeah. So,
11:13
it's not like, I don't know, maybe you couldn't batter
11:15
the goalkeeper like they did in the 50s, in the
11:17
early 70s,
11:17
Charlie. Maybe that's what it was. Maybe the game was
11:19
getting a little bit more technical.
11:21
Yeah. And maybe they frowned upon that sort
11:23
of stuff. Maybe it went from having you'd have two old-fashioned
11:26
centre forwards up front to then the sort of
11:29
more the number 10 playing with the number nine. Did
11:31
you have, you know, and my timelines might
11:33
be a bit off here, but, you know, I remember watching
11:35
like,
11:36
I'm sure there was a series about football
11:38
Mavericks was on TV a few, a few years ago,
11:40
and I'm sure, was it like, you know, the 70s,
11:42
like Frank Worthington, Rodney Marsh,
11:45
Dan Bowles, were they all around this sort of time?
11:47
Are they sort of the new fangled fancy
11:49
Dan strikers? Number
11:51
10s with long hair and sort
11:53
of extracurricular activities.
11:56
Yeah, very much so. You certainly wouldn't have
11:58
got those in the 50s. So maybe that's what it was.
11:59
Yeah, I mean also has old-fashioned
12:02
sense forward evolved a bit to the point that now
12:04
could you I don't say I said before
12:06
but like someone like Defoe was talked about
12:09
as like an old-fashioned He by
12:11
the end of his career even I feel like he was
12:13
old-fashioned in the sense that he's just an out-and-out goalscorer
12:16
You know all he's interested in doing is
12:18
scoring and he was sort of seen as old-fashioned
12:20
in the sense that
12:22
You know back in the day that every team had a striker
12:24
like that But then with the growth of just playing one up front
12:26
you didn't really
12:28
So I don't he was not an old-fashioned since it's all
12:30
like an old-fashioned big number nine, but you might serve
12:32
him Yeah, you know he's he's quite old-fashioned in
12:34
the way, but you know all he's interested in his goals You know he's
12:36
not he doesn't want to hold the ball up and stuff like that Okay,
12:39
so it's moved on so but Dave surely we still
12:41
have old-fashioned old-fashioned number nines
12:43
right they are still about he's a real
12:45
Throwback isn't he is Harland? No,
12:48
is he described as an old-fashioned number now? No
12:52
big but he's not even that good in the
12:54
air is he really and he's not a battering ram in
12:56
the in the old style
12:58
sense I mean he sort of steamrolls players But
13:00
doesn't bully them
13:01
off the ball in a Mick Harford kind
13:04
of style John fashion new style was not
13:06
throwing elbows around Yeah, yeah, okay Yeah
13:08
I mean I did enjoy big Sam called him the
13:10
big man in this press conference as if he was
13:12
talking about a kind of Duncan Ferguson
13:14
yeah Just reducing Harland
13:17
and his ridiculous number of goals and everything
13:19
he offers to the big man status Just
13:21
got close to the big man early Harland a new fangled
13:24
old-fashioned number nine a real throw
13:26
forward I don't know I don't know to be honest, but
13:29
fascinating to know that we were still calling number
13:31
nines old-fashioned back in 1973
13:33
right some
13:35
Elections the other day Charlie all
13:37
sorts of numbers flying around but did you know who
13:40
gathered? 11% of the votes
13:42
for the Conservative Party in Totten
13:44
East no it was none other
13:47
than the
13:48
infamous pie-eating goalkeeper Wayne
13:51
Shaw really yeah Wow
13:54
back was it a publicity stunt this
13:56
time or dunno standing for election
13:58
for Totten Town Council Such a great
14:00
town and community, looking forward to new challenges
14:02
with a great conservative team. If it can't be nice,
14:05
don't be nasty. The rolly-polly-goally
14:08
tweeted Dave." I
14:11
mean, his brand is incredibly strong
14:14
still. Every other tweet at least
14:16
references a pie or him eating pies.
14:18
Right. Okay. So he's not sort of put all
14:20
that behind him. He's still embracing the pie. I'm shying
14:22
away from it. Yeah.
14:25
The last picture of him on Twitter, Charlie, was
14:27
him holding three Freibento
14:30
pies with some oven
14:32
gloves. What
14:34
a commitment. Wow. To an increasingly
14:37
old gimmick. I
14:39
mean, that's six years ago, that game,
14:41
that run.
14:43
Oh really? Yeah, it's a long time. Okay,
14:45
yeah, six years, fair enough. Okay, yeah. All right, in
14:47
that case, I'll let him off. I mean, some of us are
14:49
still one-trick ponies after all these years,
14:51
so yeah, fine. I'd say six years is quite a long
14:53
time to still be pushing
14:55
that. Is it? Yeah, maybe not in football, but in politics,
14:58
definitely. Only one percent short of
15:00
getting elected there, Dave. So he's
15:02
got work to do. Well, surely he should have called upon
15:04
his mates at the Sun to get him a bit more
15:06
publicity. That was who he tied up with
15:10
for the stunt, right? Or was it
15:12
a bookmaker? Either way, he should
15:13
have struck while the iron was hot
15:15
back then. Yeah. Would have got elected. Do you
15:17
reckon he would have got elected if he'd run in like the year after
15:20
it all happened or soon after?
15:22
Quite possibly. When his star
15:24
was highest. Stocker.
15:27
Never going to be higher than that. I think it's probably one of the least
15:30
glamorous footballers into politicians'
15:32
stories of all time. I'm
15:35
about to say good luck to him, but his last
15:37
tweet was egging on Matt LeCissier, so
15:40
let's move on. Over in the Air Tricity League
15:42
at the weekend, Charlie Shamrock Rovers, 2,
15:45
Bohemians nil. Bohemians
15:47
tweeted out a graphic with a score
15:49
on it and said, a score line that doesn't tell the full
15:51
story. We go again. Seacath
15:54
asks Charlie, what score lines
15:56
do tell the full story when you think about it?
15:59
Well, any can be misleading, can't
16:02
they? I mean, like an 8-0. I
16:04
could tell the story. I think you know what's happened there,
16:06
right? Yeah, yeah. Well,
16:09
funny you should say that. Not quite an 8-0, but the
16:11
7-0, the Liverpool Manchester
16:13
United, there was a bit of, well, actually,
16:16
their XG wasn't that high. I
16:18
think all their shots on target went in. That's not
16:20
to say United were unlucky to lose the game,
16:22
but it's to say
16:23
that maybe wasn't a 7-0. It was just a
16:25
day where everything that could possibly have
16:27
gone in did. I'm not sure
16:29
about this. I mean, I'm firmly behind
16:32
the XG revolution, Charlie, but I don't think XG
16:35
solely can be brought into the equation of
16:37
a score line not telling the full story of a game.
16:39
I think, I mean, quality of chances, I mean,
16:41
to an extreme example, it could be seven
16:44
own goals, for example. I mean, I'd appreciate that in
16:46
a penalty or something. To a certain extent, a 7-0 is a
16:48
7-0, right? Yeah,
16:50
but then also, if they sort of, if
16:52
in a 7-0, you score
16:53
three or four in the last 10 to 15 minutes,
16:56
and up until then, it was a reasonably close game,
16:58
you're not saying, oh, they're unlucky to lose, but you're
17:00
saying, because 7-0 comes images of
17:02
an absolute battering. Like, that's
17:05
a proper novelty score. But
17:07
can you imagine if Manchester United had tweeted
17:09
out a score line that doesn't tell the full story
17:11
of a game? I wish they had. I
17:14
wish they had. That would be brilliant. That
17:16
would be brilliant. Just tweeted the XG. Actually,
17:18
it wasn't quite as bad as it were. Right
17:20
then, were we talking about Erling Harland earlier? We
17:22
were, weren't we?
17:23
Here's his day
17:25
against Leeds on Saturday, condensed
17:27
into
17:29
merely the commentary for his shots. Here's
17:32
Harland. Glazes
17:34
it wide and over. Even
17:36
for him, that was wildly optimistic. De
17:38
Bruyne has found the gap.
17:39
Glazes back off! He
17:43
is human. Slides
17:46
it through for Erling Harland. I've
17:48
got it! Well,
17:50
it's not his day yet, is it? Alvarez
17:53
pulls it back. Oh! Lovely
18:02
subtle evolution of the narrative there Dave.
18:16
First up was
18:19
Amir Saita, literally in the second minute of the
18:21
game. So I don't think at that point you
18:23
could pass any kind of a chance unless it was a glaringly obvious
18:25
chance. I think there's any point in passing any comment
18:27
on the bigger picture stuff there. But even then
18:29
it was a little bit, you know, for a player of his quality, you
18:32
know, that sort of thing. And then after that,
18:34
the emergence of his day as a concept
18:36
began. And I think the first
18:39
mention of his day was about the squinty
18:41
something minute, but with the crucial quality
18:43
of his day so far. Which, I mean,
18:45
is that too early?
18:46
He said it's not his day
18:49
yet was the first mention.
18:52
Then, I think it's not his
18:54
day so far. And then it turns into just
18:56
one of those days. Match
18:58
of the Day was similar as well. They went with something
19:00
like, well, maybe it's just not his day.
19:03
He doesn't have many. Doesn't have any? I
19:05
mean, that's clear. I was actually surprised and
19:07
I'm glad it was there because on Match of the Day when he did miss that
19:09
glaring chance, I was waiting for the he is human after
19:11
all and it didn't come. So I'm pleased
19:13
it came there. Good to see that still going strong, but
19:15
it was just a lovely trajectory
19:16
for the passing comment on Erlingharn missing
19:19
chances. So enjoyed that thoroughly. Next
19:21
up, Wayne Thicket writes in he was watching West Ham
19:23
versus Man United on Sunday night and he says,
19:25
Fletch just claimed Rice and Sowcheck
19:28
have been hunting in packs, trying
19:30
to get the ball back. Can two players
19:32
hunt in packs or even a pack? How
19:34
many players make a pack? I
19:36
mean, I was fully prepared, Charlie, for having a genuine
19:39
debate about what the threshold is for players making
19:41
a pack, but I think it's fine. I think it's
19:43
fine because it's the spectacle of seeing it happen
19:46
rather than the intricate details of it. If two players
19:48
do hair after the ball and close one player
19:50
down, I think that's pat, that is hunting in
19:52
packs, plural. That's fine. I
19:54
think that's all right. And also if you get much
19:56
more than that, it can look a little bit like you're out of control.
19:59
Then I think it's sort of a it's not
20:02
that well coordinated a press. Yeah,
20:04
you've got three people going after one Yeah,
20:06
I think I think that counts if it looks like
20:08
they're both sort of really going after
20:10
the ball I've just googled how many dogs in
20:12
a pack and the top the
20:14
top result is from pet
20:17
place calm Understanding canine
20:19
social structure in the wild the typical
20:21
number of wild dogs or wolves in a fully fledged
20:23
pack ranges between 8 and 15 Wow
20:28
That's
20:28
like AC Milan 1988 press isn't it?
20:32
The aggressive offside trap you can't
20:34
have that Well that almost supports the point because
20:36
then you're never gonna have an actual pack volume
20:39
I mean Liverpool. Yeah, Liverpool's Geggen press Dortmund's
20:41
Geggen press, but yeah I think I think modern
20:44
pressing strategies really do negate
20:46
the idea of a three-man hunting impact
20:48
situation So I think two is fine in an
20:51
ultra modern context So I like the idea of
20:53
a proper football man playing down, you know, I like to play
20:55
down the influence Like dogs
20:56
have been hunting impacts for centuries We
21:00
just used to call it canine social structures Lovely
21:05
stuff speaking of ancient football cliches
21:07
and this lots of people got in touch
21:09
about this This was from Fulham versus Leicester on
21:12
the world feed the co-cometry comes from David
21:14
Phillips I
21:16
Think you got with Tom
21:18
Kenny here and full of her in once again, it's Harrison
21:20
Reed Vital save from Ebersom
21:23
Kenny tete next up straight
21:25
at the keeper Well
21:27
once again Lester of
21:30
sixes and sevens maybe even less than
21:32
that at the back I
21:36
sympathize with this day because very
21:38
few people
21:39
Know or care about the origin of sixes and
21:41
sevens and it's almost too boring for me to
21:43
explain the possibility But so
21:46
I still have sympathies with the idea that people just think
21:48
sixes and sevens is like a rating out of ten There
21:53
at ones and twos, yes, we
21:55
really would be good
22:00
I love it. Who cares what the origin is? It
22:02
sounds good. Six and seven sounds too high.
22:05
It's fine. Love it. Yeah,
22:07
and they were. They were
22:09
all over the shop. As you all know by now, we've teamed
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Oh look at that!
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That is wonderful! Brought
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to your ears by the Athletic. They
24:15
see football cliches. Right
24:17
next up, this wasn't a bugbear
24:20
for me at all really Charlie. I never really registered in
24:22
my footballing consciousness until now.
24:24
Luke of Norfolk writes in and he's
24:27
referencing a common football
24:29
writing theme of a curse.
24:31
So a pattern of events that have happened
24:34
that have been massaged into a narrative
24:36
of a curse. So things
24:38
that have befallen teams who happen to have something in
24:40
common. I suppose that's the best way of describing it really. This
24:42
came from 442 who were talking about the curse
24:45
of sixth place in the championship. Blackpool
24:47
are the last side to finish sixth in the championship and
24:49
gain promotion to the Premier League through the playoffs, achieving
24:52
that feat in 2010. Since then, 12 teams have
24:53
been promoted,
24:56
none of whom finished sixth. The curse.
24:58
It's not a fucking curse, it's just the worst team
25:00
in the playoffs. Yeah
25:02
I don't think it can be a curse if it's sort
25:05
of following the form book. It
25:07
would be like the Etihad curse
25:09
for visiting teams. They rarely win. Exactly,
25:12
it's a bit worried. Dave helped me out with the curse of finishing
25:15
20th in the Premier League. You're down! But
25:18
I do like this because it flies in the face
25:21
of something that is still commonly held. People
25:23
still
25:23
go on about all the time about if you finish
25:25
sixth and you just get into the playoffs at the end and
25:27
you've got the momentum, it doesn't
25:30
happen. Because there was a lot where there
25:32
was a germ of truth in that. I think before
25:34
this curse took hold,
25:36
there were a few teams who came up having finished
25:38
sixth. West Ham, when they came
25:41
up in 2005, I'm pretty sure came
25:43
sixth and then did actually really well in the Premier League.
25:45
I sort of do sympathise with, I mean, as
25:48
we've spoken about before Charlie, a lot of football
25:50
observation is based on paranoia about what might happen
25:52
to your team. So
25:53
you err on the side of caution. Almost
25:56
too much. But a good example of
25:58
this curse-based paranoia.
25:59
would be Knott's County's National League playoff
26:02
against Borenwood for the weekend. Borenwood were 35
26:06
points behind them in the table and then
26:08
they played each other in the playoffs. And then Borenwood
26:10
went two in a lap and you got the sense that this
26:12
was kind of bound to happen. Like,
26:15
the narrative was so stacked up against Knott's County
26:17
in this respect, like it was almost too
26:19
comfortable for them and that's it. They fucked it. And
26:21
then they did. Well, it's almost like when you're watching your
26:23
team play and there's an early
26:26
refereeing decision that goes against you in the move.
26:28
There's still loads to go. But if you're like, if we concede
26:29
here, if we fucking concede here,
26:32
and you're almost willing it to happen so you can
26:34
vent and it's kind of the same thing. It's like, if we
26:37
lose to a team, we finish this far above, it's just
26:39
not fair. I think the bar should be higher
26:41
for curses, Dave. That's all I'm saying.
26:43
Keep curses magical. The most
26:45
famous footballing
26:47
curse or the most oftenly cited
26:49
is surely the manager of the month curse.
26:52
Is that still a thing? Yeah, that's still
26:54
talked about, yeah. And that's cursy because there's no
26:56
obvious logic to it. I mean, no one
26:58
even bothers to suggest, Charlie, that they get really complacent
27:01
after they've won an award and don't even bother doing the video
27:03
analysis. Ah, got February, February
27:05
manager of the month. That's me done for the season. Feet
27:07
up on the table. You sort it out. Go
27:09
on, Sammy Lee. You do training. No, I think that's fine.
27:12
Right. Sam writes in next. I reorganized
27:14
our spice rack over the weekend. In explaining
27:17
the new set up to my partner, by the way,
27:19
those words alone are brilliant. I instinctively
27:22
describe the lesser used spices, now
27:24
at the bottom of the rack, as basement
27:26
boys. What
27:29
are the panel's most basement boys, herbs
27:31
and spices? I'm going straight
27:33
in, Dave, with cinnamon. It's just it's
27:36
shit and it's horrible and I would never use it. And
27:38
it's basically a dessert spice, not even like
27:40
a cool cooking savoury
27:42
spice. So that's straight in there as a basement
27:44
boy spice. That's divisive
27:46
in my household. I'm a big cinnamon fan. Very
27:50
marmite. I
27:52
would say something like ground coriander
27:54
because I'd much rather just have fresh coriander.
27:57
But you've sort of got to have it for certain dishes.
27:59
It's not, I don't, like coriander
28:02
is great. Ground coriander, it feels
28:04
like a slightly diluted version. Smoked paprika,
28:06
like an upward looking kind of European
28:09
place chasing traditional
28:11
mid-table side. Like filler basically, yes.
28:13
It's a banging spice. It's nothing, not
28:15
harsh, not gonna blow your mind, but it adds
28:18
something every time, delivers. Yeah,
28:20
exactly, it's sort of a short, it's quite an easy shortcut.
28:23
I mean, what about, you know, your sort of,
28:26
we sort of- Rosemary, would that be down there? That's
28:28
not very, don't use that much, do you? Again,
28:30
I think you'd- Depends on the meat, doesn't it? Yeah, but you'd
28:32
want the fresh stuff. Yeah, meat specific spices, they, I mean,
28:34
they are, they're struggling, aren't they? I mean, turmeric,
28:37
which I know you're a fan of Adam. Yeah, I know. Love
28:39
it. Yeah,
28:40
I mean, great for making rice. My
28:43
wife is- Thanks, ricey, hello. Cheers, mate. Absolutely,
28:46
pretty and everything, I don't know why. Garam
28:50
masala. Right,
28:52
Kesey. We ventured into
28:54
which spice sounds most likely it was read out by Richie Kese.
28:57
And that's fine too, and that's fine too. Dave,
28:59
Dave, being very diplomatic here, not getting involved.
29:02
Yeah, I'm showing my inexperience in the kitchen,
29:04
really. Someone will buy you a spice rack for like
29:06
your 40th one day, and then you'll know, then
29:08
you'll realize the ones that just remain sealed,
29:11
you're never going to use them. They are your
29:13
spice basement voids. Great stuff. I
29:15
was worried that was going to sound too middle class and it wasn't, so they're
29:17
great. Now we were talking about Bohemians
29:20
earlier, Charlie, bemoaning that the school
29:22
line didn't tell the full story of their game
29:25
against Shamrock Rovers. Chris Thompson writes in
29:27
now, says, score versus score line,
29:29
is there a difference? Where would one be used
29:32
over the other? Instinctively, Charlie, I feel like
29:34
score line is
29:35
completely unattached from a
29:37
game. You're talking about a score line that
29:39
could happen in a game, three, two, four,
29:42
two. And it's regardless of the context. A score
29:44
is the something that happened in an actual game. Yeah,
29:47
I think you would say, and we were talking about it, I can't
29:49
remember if you talked about it on the podcast or just off
29:51
air, but we were talking about four, two, and what an amazing
29:54
score line that is. I mean, we've already done
29:56
it on this pod, like the Bohemians thing was
29:59
a score line.
29:59
that doesn't tell the full story. It's
30:02
a, as you say, it's a four-two,
30:04
a seven-nil, a one-nil, whatever. You're addressing
30:06
the numbers specifically rather than the
30:08
result of the match. Exactly. Yeah,
30:11
so yeah, David, if I asked you what's your favourite score
30:14
line, I would say score line, I wouldn't say what's your favourite score,
30:16
that would sound weird, genuinely weird
30:18
thing to say. You'd be racking through your brain thinking
30:20
what's the best score I've ever seen at the end of an actual
30:23
match? Yeah, and you wouldn't be sitting in the car listening
30:25
to the radio going tell me the fucking score line.
30:27
That's absolutely true.
30:29
You'd
30:29
also talk about things like, you
30:32
know, that's not a pretty score line
30:34
at the end of the game, as if you're kind of reflecting
30:37
on it. Yeah, it's just the sight of the score
30:39
and nothing else, so it's very isolated. Yes,
30:41
exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. What a crucial difference
30:44
that no one has ever messaged me about
30:46
before and we've no one in the history
30:48
of humanity has ever commented on, and Chris
30:51
Thompson has blown it apart. Like, if you'd
30:53
asked me, oh, I thought you went to see 1860 Munich
30:55
at the weekend, what was the score line? He
30:59
wouldn't say that, would you? You'd say, oh, what was the score? But
31:01
if you said 7-2, be like, God, that's a very
31:03
Sunday League score
31:04
line. You might say result though, and the result
31:07
gets in the way there. The result sits in the middle of the two,
31:09
I think, quite more versatile, because
31:11
you're looking at for the results, but 7-2
31:13
is also a result, but doesn't
31:15
quite have the score line in that
31:18
context. Great question, brilliantly
31:21
answered. Now, this is great. This is a
31:23
lovely new entry into footballer's
31:25
names creeping into popular culture. This
31:28
came from Dan and Andy, who are watching
31:30
Apple TV's new sci-fi show,
31:32
Silo, starring Rashida
31:35
Jones. Here's her
31:36
lead character.
31:50
Dave, on the balance of probabilities, I think Alison
31:52
Becker is a deliberate act. It has
31:54
to be. What are the chances?
31:57
Yeah,
31:58
surely, surely, because it's so... No,
32:00
it's not common. I mean, it's like,
32:03
when you said it was Sheeda Jones, I was thinking, what
32:05
names in the Premier League could plausibly
32:07
be female? And I mean, there probably are
32:09
a few more, but that is perfect. Alison
32:12
Becker. Too perfect. Yeah. Charlie,
32:15
I tend to frown on people who use his full name.
32:17
I just think it's odd. But in this
32:19
case, I'm happy to encourage it. How do
32:21
you feel about it? Not a pure
32:23
coincidence, surely? No. And I do
32:25
seem to remember it being spoken about
32:28
as a thing. And I suspect one of the writers just finds it quite
32:30
amusing that as many did the juxtaposition
32:32
of kind of quite flamboyant Brazilian
32:35
goalkeeper
32:35
with the name that we associate
32:38
with a kind of middle age woman, Alison Becker.
32:40
If it is a deliberate decision, and it's
32:42
a writer, you know, having a bit of
32:44
an in joke, but it's like, if you
32:47
are a football fan,
32:48
it takes you out of the moment straight away. Yeah.
32:51
In the show. And it will colour
32:53
your perception of that character. Maybe
32:56
this moment of dystopian, draconian
32:59
law enforcement is in spite of
33:01
the fact that Alison Becker continues to wear tights in
33:03
the Premier League in all weathers. If
33:06
there was a rival character in this show that
33:09
turns out to be called Edison de Maraisch.
33:14
That would be too telegraphed, I think, wouldn't it? Yeah.
33:17
A bit too much. Complete coincidence. Where
33:20
it is. Will McCartney writes in next, Charlie. He
33:22
says, what are the parameters for he saw his name
33:24
in the headlines there? If an audacious
33:26
attempt is well saved or just misses,
33:29
it would be a good effort. Must there be an unused passing
33:31
option? Can Harland, whose name is regularly
33:34
in the headlines, see his name in the headlines
33:36
in any instance? OK, so let's deal
33:38
with the core
33:39
concept here. In what footballing scenario
33:42
would a player see their name in the headlines or
33:44
see their name in lights? I was going to say, yeah, up in
33:46
lights is the other one as well, isn't it? Yeah. I
33:49
think the ideal combination is it's a player
33:51
who doesn't score very often, going
33:53
for a spectacular goal from range,
33:55
because then his name really would be up in lights. And
33:58
I think if he's ignoring an option, because I think that's a good idea.
33:59
I think there's a little bit of a knowing chuckler
34:02
where he saw his name up in lights there didn't he? Doesn't
34:05
get many. Charlie's onto something here Dave, it's definitely kind of, it's a slight
34:08
sort of rush of blood
34:09
for a player who is unaccustomed to being in that
34:11
position. So that's the first thing and I think there's
34:13
extra context here. I think it has to be quite a potentially
34:16
pivotal moment in a game. It can
34:18
like potentially maybe a winning goal or
34:20
quite a decisive
34:23
moment. I don't think it's a long range
34:25
effort though, Dave, necessarily. I think
34:27
it's maybe more of a clear
34:29
cut chance but then they go for something quite emphatic
34:32
and it doesn't work. So like a
34:34
defender who finds themselves
34:36
in the box, say like a corner's come
34:38
back in and they've got a relatively easy
34:41
chance or presentable chance in
34:43
the box and they've sort of snatched
34:45
at the finish or they completely miss it or
34:47
they just blaze it over
34:49
the bar. Blazing over the bar,
34:51
I think would be a great idea
34:53
here. Charlie, I do sympathise with your
34:55
suggestion there because it's kind of ambition, isn't
34:58
it? Like misplaced ambition. Yeah, because
35:00
I think what's the big thing that's going to make
35:02
their name be up in lights is the spectacularity,
35:05
to use an Ars Invenger word, of the
35:07
goal. Because I'm not sure their name would be up
35:09
in lights otherwise if it's just a kind of routine
35:11
finish, unless it's just such a big moment.
35:14
So you're suggesting that they kind of... I think that's the driving force. I
35:16
think the driving force of having your name in the
35:18
headlines is the fact that you did something
35:21
big in the game.
35:21
I don't think a good goal in its own right would
35:23
put you in the headlines, would you be a good goal? In
35:25
a literal sense, yes. But I think in this one,
35:27
I think it is more about that than actually
35:30
the moment because I think then
35:32
it's a less whimsical... In your example, it's
35:34
more like, ah, it just wasn't the player you
35:36
wanted that to fall to or it's just snatched at it
35:38
a little bit. I think there's more at
35:40
stake there, whereas I think the Sora's name up in lights
35:42
is a bit more whimsical of a
35:45
kind of chuckle, almost like you had
35:47
a bit of a nosebleed there sort of thing. Okay.
35:51
So at a more minor
35:51
point, Dave, he says, can Harland
35:54
ever find himself in a situation where he sees his name
35:56
in the headlines? You have to rule it out, really,
35:58
don't you?
35:59
any of these contexts would ever apply
36:02
to him?
36:03
No, because he's too prolific.
36:05
He's so used to having his name
36:07
up in lights. He's got an all year
36:09
round residency. I think
36:12
the only thing with him would be if he was, he'd already
36:14
scored five and he was looking to score like the Premier League's
36:16
first ever double hat trick,
36:17
there might be a chuckle of a... he wanted the
36:20
record more, but
36:23
still could be, you know, he
36:25
saw the headlines there, he wanted number six.
36:27
Yeah, maybe, maybe. So
36:29
it's a movable feast for depending on
36:31
what your benchmark is. That's fine. Okay,
36:34
this was good. This was really good. This
36:37
is Leanko heading Southampton
36:39
back into the game early in the second half against Forrest.
36:49
I've
36:51
never heard this before, Charlie. Is a substitute
36:54
goal worse than a captain's goal,
36:56
surely? Yeah, I was thinking about this. We've
36:58
discussed captain's goal before, haven't we? A substitute's
37:01
goal. I don't get
37:03
it. I don't think, I just can't imagine what it
37:05
means. Yeah, I don't... It's
37:07
a very specific thing to say, but I
37:09
can't imagine what the intention would be here. I
37:12
think it's just to quickly convey that he's scored
37:14
as a substitute. Yes. I don't think there's
37:16
really any sense that it's a particularly substituety
37:19
kind of
37:19
goal, of which we can argue whether
37:21
there is such a thing. I'm not sure there is.
37:24
This is the other part of it, Dave. I don't think there is
37:26
a substituety type of goal. Popping up
37:28
at the back post, nicking one. That could be
37:30
anybody. Yeah, it could be. Fresh
37:32
legs running through really quickly when everyone else is knackered.
37:35
Is that a substitute's goal? Maybe, possibly.
37:38
Was Torres a sub when he scored that goal at the new
37:40
camp? That looks a little bit like a substitute's
37:43
goal. I couldn't say he was. I think he
37:45
was, because that was when Drogba was so the main man,
37:47
wasn't it?
37:48
Was that a sub... He's just
37:50
on as fresh legs basically, and he shows he's
37:52
got fresh legs. He's watching and thinking,
37:55
oh, he's not attuned to the game. He's
37:57
going to fuck it up. He's not up to speed.
37:59
Wasn't there the Solskjaer thing that he was so good as a
38:02
superstar because he'd be watching, analysing
38:04
the opposition players as he went on? There's
38:06
no specific type of goal that lends
38:08
itself to it. It's just a goal by a substitute, isn't it,
38:10
Dave? Torres did come on in the 80th minute of
38:13
that game. There you go. Oh, right, so he didn't have
38:15
much time to get up to speed. There we go. Substitute's
38:18
goal. I just never heard it before, ever, ever. There
38:20
we go. Ben Wright from the same game, Dave,
38:22
says, very disturbed by forest defender Felipe
38:24
doing the geeing the crowd up gesture after
38:27
getting fouled in a defensive position in the 61st minute.
38:29
What are the most and least appropriate gee
38:32
up the crowd moments? That's very much at the
38:34
lowest end of the spectrum, I would say.
38:36
I mean, winning a foul
38:38
to eat up some precious
38:41
seconds, but even then it's the 61st minute.
38:44
So it's probably the most
38:46
tenuous situation to gee up a crowd in.
38:48
That's just relief, if anything. Is the geeing up
38:50
always related to the previous incident?
38:53
Sometimes it's just a break in play and
38:55
they're just feeling the atmosphere and they want
38:57
to just gee up the crowd. It's a
39:00
big game, big occasion, a game they
39:02
had to win, really. The ideal
39:04
of one is if you're Seamus Coleman
39:06
or someone that's already a quite feverish atmosphere
39:09
at Goodison Park and you go in with either a big
39:11
tackle, I think then you can gee them up. Out wide.
39:14
Always out wide, especially if you're
39:17
him, or they can't get out.
39:18
The opposition team just really can't get out and you go
39:20
and block them and you force a throw
39:23
deep in their own half. I think you're then going crazy
39:25
at the crowd to get on them even more. Top
39:28
notch. I think that can only be beaten
39:30
for its suitability for geeing up the crowd by
39:33
a
39:33
monumental block
39:36
in the last minute to stop a high XG chance
39:38
for the opposition. At that point
39:40
you could probably gee them up. But in that
39:43
sense you're more likely to be swamped by teammates.
39:46
You don't necessarily have the space to gee up the crowd and
39:48
you're independent. I think it is an out
39:50
wide-y thing because you're near, or if you're in the corner,
39:52
you're near the fans. And the crowd wouldn't
39:55
need geeing up in that moment either because
39:57
they're already going mental about what you've
39:59
done.
39:59
there has to be a disconnect between the
40:03
spectacle of what you've done. So I think the
40:05
Seamus Coleman out wide scenario
40:07
is good. Because it's also partly performative
40:09
in that example. It's showing like we're so
40:12
pleased with how much we're sort of stopping
40:14
you from playing out. There was a good one
40:16
at Watford when they played Spurs
40:18
in 2019, I think. Right,
40:22
of course yeah, go on. Where Troy
40:25
Deeney just shoulder-bodged Davinson
40:28
Sanchez off the pitch. Fair
40:31
challenge and I think we won a corner from
40:33
it or something. But it was just such an emphatic,
40:36
just bash off you go son. And he
40:38
then did the geeing up of the crowd. Winning in
40:40
corners. We scored from the resulting corner I think
40:42
as well. Because it was that 2018? Was that when Watford
40:44
started the season really well? Eight is the start of the season.
40:46
Yeah, they won four in a row. 18-19, yeah
40:48
it's all good. But
40:51
yeah, no, winning a corner very good for geeing up crowds.
40:53
Because you've got,
40:55
in most cases you'll have a crowd essentially
40:57
surrounding you in that situation. So it's a great
41:00
geeing up moment like conducting an orchestra. There we go. Right,
41:02
this came from Paul Elliott who was watching MasterChef
41:05
Australia.
41:05
What's the dish please? I've done
41:08
my take on a tuna tartare.
41:10
Why this dish? Well, going into
41:13
the pantry and seeing the yellowfin
41:15
tuna. I guess that's sort of the Rolls
41:17
Royce of the sea. I only included this Charlie
41:19
because I'm not convinced that the yellowfin
41:21
tuna is the Rolls Royce. It's
41:24
a huge claim. There are
41:26
other massive claimants to this
41:28
title. I mean a lobster. Am
41:31
I sort of preoccupying myself too much with
41:33
the end result as a foodstuff?
41:36
Yeah, I think that's an
41:37
interesting subplot
41:41
here. Yeah, are we talking about how
41:43
they move when they're in the sea? Or
41:46
yeah, once they are caught and prepared.
41:48
It's a huge point. Clearly the lobster
41:50
in a dining sense is more Rolls Royce
41:53
but not in a movement sense. In
41:55
a movement sense, would it be like a
41:58
killer whale or something?
41:59
I think one of the whales, humpback,
42:02
because blue's too big, blue's like a juggernaut. Yeah,
42:04
I was going to say, I don't think you want it to be one of the big beasts
42:06
of the whale world, because that's
42:09
not quite right for old roars. But dolphins,
42:11
or are they too nippy? They're
42:14
too nippy. But Porsches, they're
42:16
like Porshaped as well, aren't they? So they're
42:18
the Porsches of the sea.
42:21
Yeah it is quite... one
42:23
of the sharks, maybe.
42:25
No, you think about it, maybe the tuners are fine
42:27
then.
42:29
It's a delicious fish. So
42:32
all round is quite Rolls Royce, from
42:34
sea to plate. They are quite big, aren't they?
42:36
Tuners, quite big fish. So they do
42:38
have the size element. Yeah, big old boys.
42:41
Big boys. Fine, right, good.
42:43
Who are the basement boys of the ocean? Right
42:47
down in Mariana Trench. Yeah,
42:49
there's really weird fish at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.
42:52
Genuine literal basement boys. No
42:54
keys in grey corner today, simply because
42:56
the only keys in grey material from the weekend was
42:59
a six minute video of record breaking
43:01
stuff from the Be In Sports coverage of
43:03
Keesee just laying into Eric Tenharg again.
43:07
I just didn't have the energy for it, there's
43:09
nothing more to say. I had the pleasure
43:11
of seeing Be
43:13
In
43:14
live in Germany on Sunday.
43:16
There was a big moment there. For Newcastle
43:19
against Arsenal, it was Kees, Grey
43:22
and Macateer in the studio. Separate
43:26
removing yourself from the keys in grey corner
43:28
phenomenon for a moment. Is it good coverage?
43:31
Well, I didn't see enough of it really. I
43:33
just saw them, we got in there quite soon
43:36
before the game, so it was basically just Keesee
43:38
throwing to go.
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