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3:46

and welcome to our listeners questions episode

3:48

of the podcast. I am joined this

3:50

week by my pal, Ruth Krilly. Woo

3:52

hoo hoo hoo. Let's go. Okay,

3:56

my usually extremely well behaved daughter,

3:58

she's 15 for context. their

6:00

own life and make their own mistakes, but also I

6:02

don't want them to end up, you

6:04

know, lying in a gutter or whatever. I mean,

6:06

it always goes to that, doesn't it? Why is it always going

6:08

to? That's what our parents used to say to us. I don't

6:10

want to find you lying in a gutter. Do

6:13

you know how hard it is to fit in a gutter, by

6:15

the way? Fair. Because once my friend

6:17

lay next to a gutter and I

6:19

had a look and it's just not human width. This

6:21

is really helpful for Claire, so I feel like we've

6:23

done her justice here. I think we're doing

6:25

well. She'll be fine. I would just say she's 15, you've

6:27

got worse to come. I mean, I don't want to be negative, but

6:30

if all she's doing is having a fake ID, she's

6:33

15, if you push back too far, she'll go even further

6:35

away. She could ring the

6:37

pubs. This is a

6:39

picture of my child. Don't let her in. Yeah,

6:41

yeah, yeah. Nice, sneaky. I like your style. Okay.

6:44

Hi Caroline. I live in London and my husband

6:46

has recently accepted a job in Manchester, meaning we

6:48

are having to relocate with our two boys aged

6:50

seven and 13. I'm really

6:52

worried about how the kids will cope with the

6:54

change. Do you have any tips on

6:56

making this transition as smooth as possible for them?

6:58

They are both devastated to be leaving their schools

7:00

and scared at the thought of making new friends

7:03

from Erica and Stretum. Oh, bless them. You're

7:05

like, you've got absolutely nothing you can say, you just go,

7:08

Oh bless them. I'm going to do, I'm going to do.

7:10

I'm really distressed by all of this. Right.

7:13

I'm going to do really fun ones afterwards, I promise. We

7:15

just got to get through the parents who are having a

7:17

hard time. So they've got to relocate. They've got to relocate

7:19

to Manchester. The kids are seven and 13. Why can't he

7:21

commute on the train? Well, to Manchester from Stretum, don't be

7:24

silly. And no one can afford to run two houses. He

7:26

can't go there and back every day. Stay in the travel

7:28

lodge. That's not an option. Okay. This

7:30

is what we're being asked. Can you just answer the question? I just think

7:32

if he did Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday night in a travel lodge, came back on

7:34

a Thursday. Right. It's fine.

7:36

He's away three nights a week. He's home

7:39

for. What's the problem with that? Erica,

7:41

I don't think that's what you're- Isn't it the high speed pendolino?

7:43

Do you remember the high speed pendolino, Trey? To

7:45

be fair, that is so quick that I once got really nauseous on it.

7:47

I know. Yeah, but it would cost them a

7:50

fortune. Let's assume they can't afford it. They're going to have

7:52

to move. No, I thought if he does it for Monday,

7:54

travel lodge, travel lodge, travel lodge, back on a Thursday. Let's

7:56

assume they can't afford it. All right. And

7:58

we just answer the question as asked. Okay.

8:00

They have to move. Do you have any tips on making

8:02

this transition as smooth as possible? Not really,

8:04

because I've never been faced with that. We

8:06

lived in London the entirety of the kids' school

8:09

lives. So. I

8:11

mean, part seven and 13. I feel

8:13

like it's quite exciting. I don't know. Maybe you

8:16

should pop round and talk to them then. Yeah,

8:18

I think I'm quite

8:21

up for a new adventure. You know,

8:23

like we moved a lot at one point. Yeah. And

8:26

moving to Somerset did not faze me. Moving from London to

8:29

Somerset, it did reach, but I

8:31

just, I think, oh, there's all these new

8:33

opportunities to have different life. These are kids

8:35

in primary school and secondary school. It's very

8:37

different. Well, I know, but

8:39

what your attitude will kind of rub off on them,

8:41

won't it? Yeah. You go in and go.

8:43

Fair enough. Now we're getting somewhere. If you've got

8:45

to do it, and there's no way out of it, and

8:47

he can't do pendulino plus travel lodge combo, then,

8:51

you know, the way

8:53

that you approach as the adult is then going

8:55

to determine how the kids deal with it. Isn't

8:57

it? It's very sensible for you. Thanks. Well

9:00

done. I'm just going to let that sit. All right. Well

9:03

done. Best thing I've said all day, isn't it? Yeah,

9:05

it really was. Okay. Top skincare products or hacks from

9:07

when you were modeling back in the day? Oh,

9:10

good question. At

9:13

least it's not related to how many children. Stop

9:15

hitting the microphone. Do

9:18

it again, do it again. Jesus Christ. Okay.

9:21

Top skincare products or hacks from when you were modeling

9:23

back in the day. Anything you still do or anything

9:25

you did then that... It's

9:27

a good question because... Skincare. Back

9:30

in the day, French pharmacy brands was not

9:32

a thing over here. You just couldn't get

9:34

them. You had to go to a French

9:36

pharmacy. Yeah, exactly. And so

9:38

things like Embrolise, Beo

9:42

Derma, Mycelle of Water, Chlorine,

9:44

Dry Shampoo. Oh yeah, Chlorine Dry

9:47

Shampoo. These were products that

9:49

they used backstage that models had access

9:51

to and these amazing sort of French

9:53

skincare routines that it wasn't really a

9:56

thing over in the UK. No. So

9:59

we had access to... as

20:00

a nan. Yes. Tough shit. If

20:03

you don't want me to look after your kids, my

20:05

house, my rules, you have to

20:07

trust that the grandparents, it is my fucking

20:09

job to spoil those kids. Yeah. It is

20:12

my job. However, doesn't mean they

20:14

don't respect me. If I go, wait, I said, no,

20:16

they'll back off. But you cannot stop

20:18

a grandparent being the treat person. It is

20:20

our job. It's in the Bible. How old's

20:22

the kid? What does it say again? Um,

20:25

so we just get all the facts straight. It doesn't

20:28

say my son has started having sleepovers at his grandparents

20:30

once a week. First of all, you're getting a night

20:32

off once a week, bitch. Be grateful. Jesus. I'd be

20:34

like feeding what you want. I, you know, and if

20:36

you, and if you said to me, can you not

20:39

give a McDonald's? I would send him home with a

20:41

double espresso, a bag of Haribo and a puppy. A

20:45

puppy. Sorry, but I wouldn't need

20:47

to know the age. Yeah. I

20:50

mean, this child not makes it,

20:52

but you know, 11 o'clock, I know I'm

20:54

very strict with the meat and junk food and staying

20:56

at pass his bedtime. That's why they're doing it. It's

20:59

my job. I'm the nan. They have to go

21:01

nanny. When Nova sees that I am picking her

21:03

up, that child looks like she has won the

21:06

lottery. She literally, I love her head, jumping up

21:08

and down the door going, my nanny, like this.

21:10

Yeah. I could cry now thinking about

21:12

it. Do not take that away from them. Jim and

21:14

I had a couple of weeks run where we would take

21:16

them to McDonald's for a happy meal on a Sunday. They

21:19

get the break on the Sunday. We get a

21:21

McDonald's breakfast. The best bit being double sausage,

21:24

never been calmed down. No, too much meat, meat,

21:26

egg and cheese ratio is not good on a

21:29

double. The single is perfectly

21:31

formed. Wow. Okay. How many hash brown do

21:33

you have in there? One model.

21:38

No one has one hash brown in his

21:40

hat. Really? Okay. Maybe I'm just outing myself, but it

21:42

just comes as a meal. I had never thought of thinking outside

21:44

the box. We got the kids, the happy meal because I said,

21:46

and I was very open. I said, I'm going to kind of

21:48

take him from McDonald's. I mean, they could just ask to be

21:50

fair. And they was like, yeah, of

21:53

course. So to conclude McDonald's week, two weeks in

21:55

a row, I've got pictures. You've never seen them.

21:57

So happy. They've got Nanny and granddad are full

21:59

attention. They're making a mess. The box is

22:01

being- I mean, just everything about it is box- The brilliant

22:03

spriggan is next. The box is being trashed. The staff at

22:05

McDonald's are waiting on them hand and foot. We'll bring your

22:07

drinks over, don't worry. And then they proceed to eat our

22:09

sausage and egg McMuffins, even though they're supposed to be eating

22:12

the kids stuff. Ben said to me,

22:14

Oh, they really like the muffin and jam. Oh,

22:16

well, they're supposed to have water. I

22:18

let them have the fruit shoot. Oh, you fruit shoot?

22:20

Fruit shoots, all right. Yeah. Fruit shoots,

22:22

all right. But I feel like that's like bad. Have you

22:25

ever done the- But when, and I'm very good. If Ben

22:27

and Lil say, Ben will be quite, Ben's like, he can

22:29

be quite mum. If

22:31

they give me the mum, then I don't. And I don't fill

22:33

them with sweets, but you cannot stop

22:35

a nana buying a McDonald's. Have you ever

22:37

had to do the milkshake machines broken? Oh

22:40

yeah. Then it's never worked. The milkshake machine-

22:42

I mean, it never works anyway, does it? No, the milkshake

22:44

machine has never worked for the kids, ever. Okay,

22:46

I'm glad we agree that the nan gets what she wants.

22:49

I'm going to send you to your nans. That used to be

22:51

a threat and I was misbehaving. Do you remember what you could

22:53

watch by the time it got to 11 o'clock? The word. All

22:57

the swearing on the mark lamar on the word.

23:00

I was old enough for the word. I actually watched

23:02

it. Lola Ferrari. Do

23:05

you remember with the massive, no, Eurotrash. It was Eurotrash.

23:07

Eurotrash. I didn't like Eurotrash. No, I didn't like it

23:09

either, but I just could have believed the stuff that

23:11

was on it. Okay, great. This or

23:13

that, are you ready for quick fire? I feel like we need

23:15

to have some kind of continuity. I

23:18

would like to caveat this, but it doesn't need an

23:20

essay, every fucking answer, okay? So just one word. Just

23:22

reply. Yeah,

23:24

torture. Okay, okay. Selfridges or John

23:26

Lewis? John Lewis. Really, why?

23:30

You literally just said- School

23:33

uniform. Can

23:35

you get anything you want? Is this quick fire again? You

23:38

can get everything you want. Yeah. And I

23:40

like, I just, it feels like a wholesome, a

23:42

wholesome, aren't they? Wow, okay. I

23:45

just feel like you could be a Victorian

23:47

in the snow, peeking through the window of

23:49

John Lewis, ee, ee, ee, looking at all

23:51

the wooden horses and the boxes

23:53

of woodbines. Why did I ask, okay? Okay,

23:57

city break or country escape? Country

23:59

escape. Obviously. Dogs or cats? Oh,

24:02

no. I'm going to go with

24:05

cats, though. Yeah, cats, always. Just love a cat. Sweet

24:07

or savory? Sweet. Really?

24:09

Yeah. Got the worst sweet

24:11

tooth. Oh, no, I'm savory. Will probably be the

24:13

death of me. Type

24:15

2 diabetes. Heels or flats? Flats.

24:19

So which is a shame for the world, because I've seen your legs and heels

24:21

and you can rock it. But I would

24:23

say flat. I mean, I will crack the heels out

24:25

now and again. But I can't. My

24:27

ankles just can't do it. We're too old. Night

24:30

in or night out? Obviously night in.

24:33

This will be interesting because I know the answer. But

24:36

I want you to explain yourself. Oh, God. Coffee or

24:38

tea? Right, so neither, because

24:40

I've never had one. I've never had

24:42

a coffee and I've never had a tea. There

24:44

we go. I never got round to it. My

24:46

parents drank tea. And I just thought, why would

24:48

you have hot water with then milk mixed

24:52

into it? Coffee is bitter. I

24:54

just don't get it. I don't like coffee, no. Coke

24:56

in a glass bottle or a plastic bottle? Don't

25:00

be filth. Glass, but I mean

25:02

can. Can is king, isn't it? As long as

25:04

you get to do the tap, tap. Oh,

25:08

wow. That was very impressive.

25:10

Thank you. Well done. ASMR. OK.

25:13

Bold eye or bold lip? Freaking like

25:15

bold. Bold.

25:19

Like us, thinking we can put this podcast out

25:21

and it will be well received. Bold. Bold eye.

25:24

Bold eye. Dewy or

25:26

matte skin? Dewy.

25:28

Dewy. Brow gel or

25:30

brow pencil? Gel. See

25:32

how quick I was with that one? I'm wondering if I'm

25:35

on these. I mean, yeah, you know, you can't really fail

25:37

at it. OK. Cream cleanser or gel cleanser? I

25:39

would also like to add cream or balm.

25:41

Balm. Thank you. AM or

25:44

PM routine? PM. Nice. Space

25:46

and K or Sephora? Space and K. Makeup

25:49

brush or makeup sponge? Brush. Always,

25:51

showing your age. Now, here's the big one. What's

25:53

your favorite sandwich? Right. Are

25:56

we talking make yourself at home or hotel? All

25:58

you need. It makes difference. Okay, you can do

26:00

both, but I also wanna know if everyone's McDonald's

26:02

order, because this is the shit people listen to.

26:05

Right, McDonald's order has been the same. So

26:07

I worked at McDonald's from age 16 to 17. Five

26:10

star. Was that just like living the dream? Instant five

26:12

star, no. It was

26:14

really hard work. But now, when

26:16

anything's hard, I do it,

26:18

my benchmark is how hard McDonald's was, because-

26:20

Waitressing for me is my benchmark. It was

26:22

a franchise, and the guy was really, really

26:24

ambitious, and he said, time to lean is

26:27

time to clean. That's a bog

26:29

standard retail. Time to lean, time to clean. That's

26:31

when you feel- It wasn't a single minute. But

26:33

the department manager's walking They're like, time

26:35

to lean, time to clean. It was actually like, oh, you're being served. Yeah. McDonald's

26:39

order. And so I loved it. Right, quarter pound of

26:41

cheese. Obviously. Medium fries. Pickle

26:43

removed. No. No, pickle removed. I

26:45

take it out though. I just don't wanna slide it out.

26:47

I like the sort of fragrance of the pickle left in,

26:50

but I put it in Richard's Big Mac. Yeah, I take it in

26:52

his big Mac. If

26:55

they do, so what they used to do was a quarter

26:57

pound of deluxe. Do you remember that? I think they call

26:59

it the big tasty now, but it's not the same. It

27:02

had mayo, fresh tomato,

27:04

and shredded lettuce in, as

27:06

well as the normal quarter pound of cheese ingredients. If

27:09

they still did that, I would order that. I know, I'm not gonna

27:11

lunch. Quarter pound of cheese,

27:13

medium fries, sweet and sour sauce, and

27:16

then not coke because it's not real coke. No.

27:19

It's all just icy and diluted. I would

27:21

either have, sorry, a bottle of water. I have water

27:23

with my McDonald's because I drink messes with the food.

27:26

I don't want a milkshake, I don't want ice cream. It's

27:28

not dessert. And I don't want a sweet coming

27:30

out of a fanny thing. However, the sun's

27:34

not coke. It's

27:36

not coke. We're very meticulous. This is

27:38

a very serious subject. Now and then I will

27:40

have a strawberry milkshake. No. But the aftertaste

27:42

of that. And the amount of calories,

27:44

absolutely not. It's about 600 calories in the

27:47

milkshake. No, it's way more than that. So

27:50

no, I normally do a water. You wish there was only

27:52

600 calories in a milkshake. Can we Google this, please? Medium

27:54

strawberry milkshake. I'm going to say 353. What

27:57

are you saying? What? I think

27:59

it's nearly a thousand. especially if you get a big one. I

28:01

love that we're all just really taking this very seriously. This is

28:03

gonna be... 364. How

28:06

close was that? I would have won a

28:08

prize if that was something where there was a

28:10

prize. I'm still messaged with a taste of the

28:12

burger. I'm not bastardising the taste of the burger.

28:14

And also, as I've got older, you really do

28:17

taste when something is so processed. Yeah.

28:21

I can't get behind the milkshake order, so

28:23

we're just gonna have water. OK, sandwich. In

28:25

a hotel, always the club. Always a club.

28:28

For me, it's an indication of... Turkey or Chicken Club?

28:31

Chicken. LA

28:33

bakery, round here, do a turkey club, and it

28:35

is another level, and they have a fried

28:37

egg in it on top. Nice. Under the

28:39

bread. So when you cut into it, it

28:41

just... Did you see the Grace

28:43

Dent clip from her latest podcast this morning, where

28:45

they were talking about a chicken next to an

28:47

egg? I don't mind the

28:49

chicken next to the egg. No. I don't mind the chicken

28:52

next to the bacon either. No. No. I

28:54

don't like it when they put an avocado into it. No

28:56

need for an avocado in a club. It's not supposed to

28:58

be in there. If you're making

29:00

it yourself at home, it will

29:02

always be because it's the easiest option.

29:04

Cheese and a really good track woman's

29:06

pickle. Plowman's pickle. Sorry. It's

29:09

a recent thing. You can't eat cheese

29:11

in a sandwich like that. Just

29:13

a lump of cheese and bread. What's the point? Slice it.

29:15

Don't put a lump of cheese in between two. But

29:20

actually, I don't have sliced bread. I'll have one of

29:22

the kids' rolls. You know, like a little lunchbox roll.

29:24

I'm telling you, there is a lot to be said

29:26

for a handbag. Salt and vinegar crisps. Oh, yeah, but

29:28

they've got to be in the sandwich and... Oh,

29:31

yeah. Yeah. OK, well, congratulations. You

29:33

passed the test. Thank you. Thanks, Ruth. I mean, we

29:35

have no idea. I have no idea what we've said,

29:37

what we've spoken about. No, I'm worried. It's been absolute

29:39

carnage. I feel like it could be the end of

29:42

both our careers. Yeah, maybe we've just been cancelled ourselves.

29:44

It's done. Still got a sub-stack. Good luck to anyone

29:46

who's got to edit this. And

29:49

that's a wrap for this week. Thanks for listening. I'm

29:51

back on Monday with a new guest, so make sure

29:53

you tune in. Until then, I'm glad we

29:55

had this chat. New

29:57

episodes are available every Monday and Wednesday.

29:59

Follow us subscribe now on Apple, Spotify

30:01

or wherever you get your podcasts. Glad

30:04

we had this chat, it's produced by Waterwall Media.

30:19

Black Friday is coming and for the

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