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1:17

welcome to Green X and Dan where I interview

1:19

amazing people with amazing minds, but all I care

1:21

about is what is in their fridge. My guest

1:23

today, very good friend, hilarious comedian. He

1:26

has numerous hour specials including his last one,

1:28

The Mad King. He is the host of

1:30

Idiot Test on Game Show Network and the

1:32

podcast Last Week on Earth with Ben Gleib.

1:35

He's a news anchor on the

1:37

Young Turks Network. Please welcome Ben

1:39

Gleib. Thank you Dan, good

1:41

to see you and hear you. I'm

1:43

sure I left out like 10 things because you're

1:46

one of those guys who's always doing a million

1:48

things and you're probably fuming with rage now that

1:50

I didn't mention that you have

1:52

a line of thank you cards that you're

1:54

selling now or some shit. My

1:57

thank you cards are very popular, you will not

1:59

be getting one for that. intro. The

2:01

only correction to make though is Idiotest is

2:03

now on Game Show Central which is like

2:05

on Pluto TV and Philo TV and all

2:07

these things. You can actually still see it

2:09

there and no longer on Game Show Network

2:11

or Netflix. So you know whatever. I will,

2:13

I think you should send me an apology

2:15

card. Are

2:17

you gonna start selling those? Is this how you come

2:19

up with your idea for apology cards? Yeah.

2:22

This is the moment. I will give you 10% as

2:24

long as you send me a heartfelt one to kick off the business.

2:27

Hey man. We used to have the same manager.

2:29

We can give him one last

2:33

one last piece of business. Alright

2:36

we're all gonna share the screen.

2:38

You guys can see Ben's fridge

2:40

at my Instagram at standupdan. I

2:43

will say Benjamin for

2:46

a single man. This might be

2:48

one of the better single man fridges that we've

2:50

had on Green Eggs and Dan. Wow!

2:53

I'm honored to hear that. Thank you very

2:55

much. I will also say in in not

2:57

in my defense this is about as stocked

3:00

as it ever is. You

3:03

know what? I like

3:05

the humility. You're adding humility. That's gonna get you

3:07

some extra points too. But

3:10

there are some things in here that I'm like, oh

3:12

this guy like knows his stuff. I'll get

3:15

into it. Let's just go, let's go top to

3:17

bottom. Okay top. We've

3:19

got coconut water

3:21

is right in the middle is staring us in

3:23

the face over here. And it's

3:28

surrounded by a bunch of cans that are stacked.

3:31

One, two on top of each other. These all

3:33

look like things that you are

3:37

sponsored by. Nixi? What the

3:39

hell is Nixi? Oh I wish that was true. No,

3:42

I wish. It's just the

3:44

sparkling flavored soda water that I get.

3:46

Sparkling water that I get at

3:48

Whole Foods and two flavors I always get.

3:50

The best ones are strawberry hibiscus and

3:53

the peach black tea has caffeine in it. So

3:55

it's like a quick pick me up on the

3:57

go and flavored.

4:00

Sparking soda water is what got me off

4:02

of soda and enables me to live a

4:04

flavor in my life without adding pounds onto

4:07

my system now

4:11

You say hibiscus When

4:14

did that happen in your life? Did you have

4:16

to pass like a certain amount of followers on

4:18

Instagram to be able to call it hibiscus? Like

4:21

did you was it when you got a blue

4:23

check mark before you had to pay for them?

4:26

Like when you got yours that you said oh

4:28

also it's not hibiscus anymore. You can call it

4:30

hibiscus Is that does that happen? I'm still waiting

4:33

for that email Hibiscus

4:35

for sure is a word that I

4:37

didn't really know about until maybe until

4:39

I saw this item on the shelves

4:41

I was more of a hibiscus guy,

4:43

you know I'm saying but you but you

4:45

wouldn't pronounce it Hibiscus

4:47

hibiscus. No, I'm not

4:49

I'm not crazy and I don't have an I don't not

4:51

I'm not angry at the world Wow,

4:54

you would say hibiscus. Yeah

4:56

hibiscus Hibiscus is a

4:58

very highfalutin way. I believe I

5:00

bet you British people pronounce it

5:02

hibiscus Hibiscus

5:06

no, I bet they would probably say

5:08

hibiscus. Do you like some hibiscus in

5:10

your sparkling water? Oh And

5:13

there's a hint of hibiscus Little

5:17

touch of sprinkle of hibiscus next to your

5:19

coconut water Then

5:22

you have a couple beers you got your heineken your

5:24

tikate and then you have these also very fun that

5:26

look like it's a It's like

5:28

a sponsor Madre

5:32

desert water madre desert water

5:34

their miss gal drinks, but like healthy miss calories are

5:36

like 80 calories each I think and Like

5:40

the one on top there. It's like with mushroom and sage mixed with miss

5:42

gal. The other one the bottom is a grapefruit and yerba yerba Matay

5:47

or something and and

5:50

they're pretty good. I just got a bunch

5:52

of cases of them from Burning Man basically

5:54

because I Was

5:56

the first comedian to ever headline Burning Man this last

5:59

burn and The. Cab

6:01

I did it for Pineapple Express.

6:03

I'm. Have A or tell

6:05

sorry for them to express his a movie and

6:07

straightaway its Pineapple Motel. Asked me if I could

6:09

store at my house. they were picking up my

6:11

Ie bike for me. they could store bunch of

6:13

these to kill drinks that they were sponsored by

6:15

I before he brought it up and they were

6:17

like feel free and keep the case I kept.

6:19

you know one or three cases of it's ah

6:21

minutes have tons of it in my house. I

6:23

don't think it off of them but it is

6:25

pretty good. So. I can have stolen

6:28

more than they sponsor me. There's so much

6:30

some back there. So.

6:32

Much. He. Just threw like twenty

6:34

things that me and just kept brewery.

6:36

First of all, performing at Burning Man.

6:39

During. Stand to be earning mount sounds

6:41

like a nightmare. Or was

6:43

a great. It was not the easiest gig

6:46

air wasn't sober during the performance of Folic

6:48

Acid. Be on the level of everybody else

6:50

in the audience. Wait, what drug? What What

6:52

drug are you on? Like all the drugs

6:55

as some this is a weed and whatever

6:57

else Mrs with the know it's a little.

6:59

We loved all. About. It

7:01

really and it was not the easiest show.

7:04

I was really fun as though when really

7:06

well with a thousand people surrounding me in

7:08

there were seven art cars in a circle

7:10

behind them. I was in the middle in

7:12

the round on a bike on a persian

7:15

rug and it was really surreal. Very very

7:17

cool. But the thing I did wrong in

7:19

that first set was I was making fun

7:21

of people both outfits and reply and names.

7:24

but at Burning Man. Like. Everyone's

7:26

opting into being kind of ridiculous and very

7:28

extreme, so it's hard to make fun of

7:30

like very conferences services. It's better to make

7:32

fun of things people think they're doing to

7:34

be normal and cool. and then you point

7:36

out how it's falling short so it wasn't

7:38

as good as normally groundwork or goes for

7:41

me. But. Then I did a

7:43

second. So after the great flood

7:45

of Twenty or twenty twenty three

7:47

and that second show went way

7:49

better So I figured out sick

7:51

to like as possible. But there

7:53

there are default world persona as

7:55

wait that is so funny. So

7:57

it's like Bernie Madoff as world

7:59

of like non cynical, all kind

8:01

of free expression artistic ah you

8:03

know expose a or whatever you

8:05

want to call it and you

8:07

get up there and yikes rid

8:09

of guide as fuck him Mad

8:11

Dome hat as out of presents

8:13

a middle worse I was like

8:16

oh this is ridiculous figured struggled

8:18

to argue with your tits abe

8:20

their knees like I'm literally in

8:22

the freest place I've ever been

8:24

in my life and thinks his

8:26

assistants. That said it was not

8:28

the most ideal settings for address.

8:30

Them crowd. Where does of reserve? it's

8:32

it's ah. But. It works.

8:34

It works as a movie

8:36

second round. The fridge is

8:38

your. Are going

8:41

to cause the owed to the people

8:43

a lot of pickles stuff here we

8:45

have to Golds yeah cucumbers we have

8:47

that of olives we have been called

8:50

mother's pucker of which is probably another

8:52

pickled cucumber situations. A lot of us

8:54

a lot of good fermented foods here.

8:56

yeah thank you for noticing. And while

8:59

the top row has the three Sixty

9:01

five Whole Foods brand organic coconut water.

9:03

On these lower level you put

9:05

the Kirkland Signature organic. Little to no

9:08

water. As

9:10

correct, the I like a task over knock

9:12

off brands to be on a lower tier.

9:14

Deferred knows it's place. At

9:17

think that that's important as if the

9:19

palm juice and ponders is a very

9:21

are a very bougie. It

9:23

is that Palms use all tell you the the

9:25

on his bags about it. I had a house

9:27

that are taken to care my dog about a

9:29

year ago and they bought that huge palm juice

9:32

and I haven't drank it because I feel like

9:34

it's not mine. is that even good and more

9:36

And it's a huge bottle now know I keep

9:38

it in their from are going to drink it

9:40

So superb it's not that and in the Mother

9:43

Packers are delicious pickles I discovered recently but that's

9:45

an empty bottle of Mothers Packers that I keep

9:47

in the fridge. Because. I thought maybe

9:49

I would use the people Jews as like a

9:51

pickle back or maybe a touch of that added

9:53

into the martini? all of juice into a dirty

9:56

martini. and I didn't do as I ended up

9:58

throwing that out. Yeah

10:00

I have a jar of pickles use in

10:02

my fridge that I always say if I

10:04

make a sandwich it'll be a fun little

10:07

top and on the sandwich and I will

10:09

absolutely never do that right? right? Thank you

10:11

thank you for doing it so aspiration old.

10:13

The bottle of empty pickle juice yeah that's

10:15

why we that's why we do it and

10:17

I'm glad you've raised that way because until

10:19

you called it as brace know it felt

10:21

kind of law homeless to me and like

10:23

I really should not have it. There are

10:25

more embarrassed some says I do. we keep

10:28

up empty bar me no job. Pickle juice

10:30

on the counter exposed out because I figured

10:32

for men to desire gone bad but then

10:34

you really look like. Like.

10:36

He got like two. You don't have your stuff

10:38

in order and so I put it in the fridge

10:40

and people don't question as much as you. Even

10:42

a food expert didn't notice that there's no pickles isn't

10:44

there But I will say it's good to have in

10:47

there because when someone does ask you about it

10:49

you can say oh, I'm one of

10:51

those people because I want to be one

10:53

of those people I imagined like Martha Stewart

10:55

does it. I imagine you know Nigella Lawson?

10:57

ah I imagine I'd a garden. They'll have

10:59

a jar of pickle use they use on

11:01

the roof over your making devil bags you

11:03

wanted a little bit Table: Justin Smith Really,

11:05

I'm fed up but I'm never going to

11:07

do it. but I want to be The

11:10

person talks about it to people. Yeah.

11:12

Same but but but I think in love the

11:14

snow our nose to the names you said are

11:17

but months the store I do imagine she would

11:19

probably say what you wanna do is add some

11:21

pickle juice to the sandwich, go and buy a

11:23

fresh. Jar. Of pickles.

11:25

Drain it immediately and bring

11:27

me pickle juice. Rock! Album

11:29

she's saving. it's you like getting her pickle

11:31

died at. Take care of it. I

11:34

just wanna say to my listeners. Yes,

11:37

Than we did not know who

11:39

Nigel Lawson and I'm a gardener

11:42

and he's getting a lot of

11:44

heat on social media. And

11:47

being cause a lot of really awful names and

11:49

I think of it you guys should pile on

11:51

to. Add onto it. Get.

11:53

on their food but it's a would

11:55

be a night refreshing break from the

11:58

can either. Forgetting sides do appreciate. Any

12:00

hate coming my way? That is food based.

12:02

That would be of great power and plans

12:04

on unintended. Yeah! I hosted in the van

12:06

with Martha store by the way and she

12:09

was very nice and she was like more

12:11

skill and funnier than I expected. Like.

12:13

I thought she'd be pretty pricey and

12:15

she was not. She was pretty, she

12:17

was pretty chill. Here's the thing. I

12:19

feel like Martha Stewart's beginning part of

12:21

her career of was the serious i'm

12:23

starting an empire Yeah, King Joffrey does.

12:25

Everyone must listen or they will die.

12:27

But unlike after she went to jail

12:29

and she came out. She seems

12:31

like have a second act. He I guess

12:33

prison does and allies new up as a

12:36

person as you know like what you'd have

12:38

to wouldn't cemetery maintaining after that I supposed

12:40

as a good point but also I love

12:42

that the only to kingdom come up with

12:45

was King Joffrey from coming to America. I

12:47

love of death of the king that you

12:49

go to for saw thing King Joffrey from

12:51

Game of Thrones wasn't also kings offering going

12:54

to arrogance is no with it's a far

12:56

larger far as the Lion King or Aladdin

12:58

I think it was just feed your far

13:00

or something and a know and I think.

13:03

For probably just the on the borderline of

13:05

sounding racist or something I'm worried about. Already

13:07

more hate mail There we go. Thanks for

13:09

nothing Actually Arguments are you from hate mail

13:12

for a couple things you do on this

13:14

level of your fridge which is you have

13:16

a lot of. Peanut. Butter in

13:18

the fridge which does not have to be

13:20

in the fridge. You can actually be that

13:23

out of the Fred's wrong. So wrong. It

13:25

must be in the fridge, not the you

13:27

have to. but if you wanted to taste

13:29

good. I'm a guy. I cannot handle a

13:31

peanut butter if it is and the least

13:33

bit soft I needed. like almost like frozen

13:36

like so. and the Attila by the ball

13:38

or by very organic peanut butter that has

13:40

no sugar added. that's just peanuts and like

13:42

oil or whatever. And. And

13:45

I needed to be like. It's take

13:47

a spoon and it like barely moves. I

13:49

want to like trunk into it like hard

13:51

ice cream. And. Once it

13:53

gets saw a new we have an account. Have you're talking

13:55

very? You're in. You're in the soft game. here. you're in

13:57

a real soft. What do you like in your nine? these?

13:59

What? Some peanut butter okay I didn't

14:02

notice is turning into a debate but

14:04

if you had like a who enter

14:06

the fucking lion's den. Already eating

14:08

just offer bring it up. I'm job is your

14:10

farm work in the middle of was go. B.

14:13

S p my desk. Okay so you're telling

14:16

me you get the organic stuff which I

14:18

get his wealth which doesn't have any stabilizers

14:20

or anything. so when you put that sit

14:23

in the fridge and literally turns into a

14:25

hockey puck. If you want to use spread

14:27

that on any bread or a cracker it

14:29

will break anything in its way. It's gonna

14:32

be like that ball in Indiana Jones the

14:34

rock that is rolling down. It will just

14:36

destroy anything that comes in front of it's

14:39

your bread is going to be is going

14:41

to turn into to crew times. Is

14:44

is had. Do anything with that would you commit

14:46

you going to eat it yourself and then it

14:49

goes down like a solid piece like you're a

14:51

bowl constructor both instructor eating of a mouse or

14:53

something like to swallowing and whole know I like

14:55

everything you said no go ahead. I mean set

14:58

up some to spin. it's your part of the

15:00

amber. There's so much for the someone insults sarah

15:02

need to immediately respond to the go Had. Mineral.

15:05

I will. Jump. Off before

15:07

even hitting me with the

15:10

climax. Okay, I'm. Gonna

15:12

pull out. In a pullout. And.

15:14

I'm going to let you. Finish

15:17

first. I'm very uncomfortable that

15:19

analogies. I. Would

15:21

like to first mentioned use you said like a

15:24

hockey puck eyes I literally have occupied We're right

15:26

here so you have thing I'm in the issue

15:28

with that of the trump brain with his damn

15:30

thing. as soft as

15:32

he expects kind of got a rubbery

15:34

consistency number one number two i don't

15:36

spread the peanut butter on anything oh

15:38

oh that cop low that cops do

15:40

you have a ball of peanut butter

15:42

and yourself against that would that cop

15:44

was as ours ours know i just

15:46

tude on a rubber hockey but economists

15:48

that my system little better you're you're

15:50

there for their us and so i

15:52

i don't eat carbs their own bread

15:54

i don't spread it on anything i

15:56

just have spoons and employment eros a

15:59

needle a book protein, a little bit

16:01

of carbs and so I'll go two

16:03

or three spoons of this organic peanut

16:05

butter, hard AF and my

16:08

mouth chews it and warms it a little

16:10

bit in there and so it doesn't go

16:12

down hard like the boulder in Indiana Jones.

16:14

It does get chewed but I enjoy the

16:16

experience of it like ice cream also when

16:18

you eat ice cream, it doesn't go down

16:20

frozen like it was but I like the

16:22

initial flavors and feelings in my mouth to

16:24

be really solid and together and I think

16:26

you know that and if you want to

16:28

apologize now before saying your climax I'd be

16:30

better. First of all, ice cream is the

16:32

worst example you could bring up to support

16:34

your argument because ice cream as

16:37

soon as it hits the heat, the

16:39

body heat of the mouth which is a 98.7

16:41

degrees, automatically it starts to

16:45

melt and it starts to coat like

16:47

a like a cashmere throw

16:50

on your tongue. Not fucking

16:52

peanut butter. Peanut butter hard, you're

16:54

chewing into it like it's a

16:57

like it's a piece of cement

16:59

that's like almost fully solidified and

17:01

you're just like grinding at it

17:03

to turn into salty bits that

17:05

you can swallow. No

17:07

my friend, no my friend, you are

17:10

wrong on this one. No,

17:12

everything you said is like you're living in another

17:15

reality. First of all, I like my ice cream

17:17

so hard and so frozen that

17:19

when I'm chewing it even after several bites,

17:21

it's still pretty frozen, it's just easier to

17:23

swallow, it's not melted by any stretch and

17:26

that's why you got to get the right

17:28

peanut butter. I used to go marinatha organic

17:30

which is there on the left but for

17:32

some reason I can't get the actual peanut

17:35

butter anymore. Now they only sell on Amazon

17:37

peanut butter spread by marinatha and it's not

17:39

as good so I'm trying to find a

17:41

replacement right now. Santa Cruz or that one

17:44

in the back, I can't remember the name of it,

17:46

Santa Cruz one is chunky. I've never done chunky before,

17:48

I recently did chunky. I'm actually not against it so

17:50

much but the one behind it, I wish I knew

17:52

the name is actually better and

17:54

I'm enjoying it a

17:56

lot and it's pretty close to the marinatha experience and

17:58

then I do I share it

18:00

with my dog, Henry. We

18:03

share peanut butter together. It's a bonding experience.

18:05

But it chews and

18:08

melts just fine enough to swallow. It's

18:10

not a difficult swallowing experience. I just

18:12

like the consistency of it being more

18:14

put together. I'm not trying to put

18:16

creamy in my mouth unless that's like the

18:18

real goal, you know? I think this is

18:20

an example of something that they like to call the

18:22

narcissism of small differences. Okay, let's

18:25

pull out a little bit here. You and

18:27

I, again, another pull out reference. We

18:29

pull back a little bit. You

18:31

and I are both 100% into all natural

18:33

peanut butter. Automatically,

18:37

that puts us in a one percentile.

18:40

Everyone else wants the shit

18:42

with the sweeteners and this and that. You

18:44

and I are the same place from there.

18:46

I have debated that so many times. I've

18:49

literally debated that on a food

18:51

podcast that was about debating foods,

18:53

about the all natural stuff

18:56

versus the ones with the sugar and

18:58

the added stuff. So

19:00

I think let's put our differences of temperature

19:02

aside. We are basically on the same team.

19:05

I think you're just getting, you know, you've

19:07

been doing too much of this news coverage

19:09

and it's just turning your brain into super

19:12

combat mode. And yeah,

19:14

listen, I love this place

19:16

of peace you brought us to and

19:18

I am very good at debating

19:21

and I will just point out one of the

19:23

ways I win debates is with moments like you're

19:25

about to experience right now, I would like to

19:27

point out that I simply expressed my feelings about

19:29

the peanut butter. And then you said, you wanna

19:32

go debate? I wanna bring the wrath down on

19:34

you like the king in Game of Thrones. You

19:36

ready for this? And you said a bunch of

19:38

attacks. You came right at me real hard from

19:40

that peanut butter. I was simply on my heels

19:43

defending my choices, defending myself. And then when

19:45

I did that, you realized my points were so

19:47

good. You then said, can we just love each

19:49

other, bro? I made it seem like I was

19:51

the aggressor, which is really, play, hit that back

19:53

30 button a couple of times y'all. And you

19:55

tell me who was the aggressor. Well,

19:58

Whoever is going to hit that back 30. You

20:00

are going to learn that Dan has the

20:02

editing tools and I will cut out the

20:05

part where a society as a as a

20:07

selection of babe this is it. Going to

20:09

start with the who? do with a full

20:11

throttle defense. While I'm just like sitting here,

20:13

poor little me sir absolutely stand as editing

20:16

Heard. About and

20:18

a few more times to so people are

20:20

where would you do? Can I also get

20:22

us out of this by giving you a

20:24

another huge compliments a in your fridge I

20:26

don't know that this is you are not

20:28

as was a guest but you. Have.

20:31

A bottle of one of the

20:33

more interesting one of my favorites,

20:35

Italian Natural Wines which has Alessandro

20:37

Viola and the a wonderful producer

20:39

out of Italy making very interesting

20:41

cool natural winds. I'm not a

20:44

big natural one guys, but I

20:46

do think that their stuff is

20:48

actually really cool. Is

20:50

that was I want to. Your purchases are

20:52

with other guest. I like that you see

20:54

something cook bassi and delicate and rare in

20:57

my fridge and you have to immediately for

20:59

the first time question whether was a gift.

21:01

I'm. Ah, I've I've found Alessandro to be will

21:03

honor the most delicate find. It was a gift. I'd

21:05

never have tried it. I'm wondering if it's still in

21:07

my fridge and I will try it if I haven't

21:09

read gifts than it already. So it was a gift.

21:11

It was a gift. Yeah, So. I was right

21:13

to assume that you're not close enough to have. Come

21:16

on yet. The doesn't mean as not and doesn't mean

21:18

it's not offensive. This, because you're correct. Mad

21:21

This I bet is your own thing. This

21:23

is it. as an eight dollar bottle of

21:25

Prosecco. Athletic. sixteen dollars and sixteen

21:27

necrosis I guess Added to my that I was

21:30

my own for just I was dating a girl

21:32

that was her favorite prosecco and said liked me

21:34

to have that in the fridge and so I

21:36

do What I can also your bypassing my own

21:38

nobody even or built by the by far my

21:40

favorite alternate milk. oh you

21:42

know what guys thank god we're

21:44

living in a time of the

21:47

world's were making mills out of

21:49

fucking oh it's okay you know

21:51

what ozark ozark cardboard or oats

21:53

earth or negative liquid and somehow

21:55

we've decided that we need to

21:57

make a milk outta this here

22:00

Cancer and then seeing to know I'm sensing

22:02

it no no solution to climate change not

22:04

yet make milk out of oats all Hands

22:07

on deck is a fucking Manhattan

22:10

project there have been two Manhattan products

22:12

one to make the atomic bomb and

22:14

one to create fucking oatly Christopher

22:16

Nolan is making a movie out of it Thank

22:19

God that you are one of

22:21

those wonderful people supporting big oat. I said I

22:23

don't mind oat milk I kind of like oat

22:25

milk. I'm not against All

22:28

that you kind of like it I also

22:30

like to let your listeners know that you're

22:32

sending yourself both celebratory both balloons during your

22:34

speech about oat milk I wasn't doing anything.

22:37

I don't know why that was happening. There

22:39

were balloons coming up Wow I get it's

22:41

just God agrees with with you God or

22:43

whoever owns zoom and Yeah,

22:46

I find oat milk to be creamy and much better in

22:48

coffee. It's what I use it for I just use it

22:50

for my lattes. I just made I'm currently

22:53

drinking one right now What

22:55

do you are you an alternate milk guy or

22:57

a regular milk guy? No, I drink milk out

22:59

of a cow's utter like God intended for a

23:01

calf. Okay I only did that today from this

23:03

latte because they ran out of milk Like I

23:05

told you off air and had to go into

23:07

a subway and buy a child sized milk So

23:09

I could make it in my frother you also

23:11

are skipping over my a one sauce I just

23:13

need to go on the record of this podcast

23:15

and say it's the greatest sauce to ever be

23:17

invented It's amazing on steak and you're also skipping

23:19

over my Swiss cheese Which I

23:21

just have to have a couple other cheeses

23:24

there, but no cheese on earth will ever

23:26

compare to Swiss. It's incredible It's

23:28

the best cheese bold statement to

23:30

two very bold statements. Yeah Do

23:34

you know what's the what the secret sauce is

23:36

in a one? What is the secret ingredient that

23:38

makes it so delicious? I don't

23:40

know anchovy anchovies. Is that true?

23:43

Yeah, a one is an Anchovy

23:46

based sauce whose precursors

23:48

go back to England and the

23:51

precursor from that one goes

23:53

back to ancient Rome Which

23:56

they had like a anchovy fish sauce

23:58

called garam and

24:01

then the precursor of that goes to

24:05

this very interesting thing that has kind

24:07

of made its way into so many

24:09

different cultures and the American

24:12

version of that is A1

24:14

Worcestershire sauce. Wow,

24:16

Worcestershire. You know, I've had to deal with a

24:18

lot of slings and arrows during this podcast so

24:20

far today, but I feel like I've learned a

24:23

fun fact that is so helpful that I forgive

24:25

you for all of the past. I

24:27

never would have thought that there's fish in a steak

24:29

sauce and I can

24:31

see it. I can picture it. I can taste it. I

24:34

like A1 maybe a little bit less now, but I

24:36

will never abandon it. I go to fancy steak houses

24:38

and I'm like, I get some A1 and they're offended

24:40

and I don't care and they usually don't have it.

24:43

They have like a JR sauce, like fake A1. It's

24:45

bullshit. Oh, you want to try our C2 sauce? Dude,

24:47

just buy the A1. Have it in the back to

24:49

people like me. Yeah, no,

24:51

I'm not an A1 hater. I like A1.

24:53

I do think that you

24:56

shouldn't shy away from the fact that

24:58

there's anchovies in it. And anchovy is

25:00

not like any other fish because when

25:02

anchovy melts into a sauce, it doesn't

25:04

quite taste fishy. It just tastes like

25:06

umami-ish. So like, you know, think about

25:08

like a Caesar salad dressing. Delicious. And

25:10

anchovies are what makes that or like a

25:13

lot of the base of like red pasta

25:15

sauce, a lot of anchovies in

25:17

the base of that. It gives it

25:19

an amazing umami that is not too

25:21

fishy. So even

25:23

if you're not a fish person, you'd be in anchovies. Okay,

25:26

you also said umami, kind of weird. I gotta

25:28

be honest with you. And then also, are

25:32

you a great cook, Dan? You must be a great cook, but

25:34

you know about what comes in sauces. Umami.

25:39

I knew I shouldn't have said that because I knew you were gonna do that. It's

25:42

my food porn network. Yeah,

25:45

I love cooking. I cook a lot. I do cook

25:47

a lot. Never cooked for me, Dan. A lot of

25:49

Italians are gonna take umbrage with your

25:52

claim. A lot of people are holding up

25:54

their big block of Parmesan cheese right now,

25:56

and they're saying, this, this is

25:58

the ultimate cheese. I

26:01

could do without Parmesan cheese entirely to

26:04

be honest with you. Really? I

26:06

mean I like it okay if it's like actually like

26:08

in a block and you can have bites of it.

26:10

I don't love it shredded. I will do it on

26:12

pasta occasionally if I'm desperate. Definitely hate it very much

26:14

when it's like in the powder form that you shake

26:16

it out of that cheap Parmesan

26:18

situation. That's just oh. Interesting.

26:21

Because a lot of people are a lot of

26:23

people don't like having like a bite

26:25

of Parmesan cheese because it's super salty. And

26:29

you know it can be a little dry and astringent

26:31

to some people. But that's interesting

26:33

that you'd vie for that before having the shaved

26:35

because to me shaving it on anything is just

26:37

delicious. I've heard that about

26:39

you. This is the part of the podcast

26:41

where you admit that Swiss cheese is the

26:43

best flavor or when does that happen? I'm gonna

26:46

say Swiss cheese for simple palates. Yes. I could

26:48

see if you had a simple childish palate.

26:51

Yes. Swiss cheese is a fucking great cheese. It's

26:54

a great. I liked it since childhood. I will

26:56

admit that but always loved it since.

26:58

But I just doesn't compare. Look I appreciate

27:00

every cheese. I want you to know I

27:02

have a sophisticated palate. But it

27:05

just doesn't satisfy me the way Swiss

27:08

cheese does. And if that makes me unsophisticated

27:10

then my God I'm the kid from Flowers

27:12

for Algernon. You know what I mean? No.

27:18

I'm okay with that. I'm not gonna hate you

27:20

for that. I'm telling you there's two reasons why

27:22

I barbed. One is

27:24

you're a comedian and I do that with

27:26

comedians on this show. But two is almost out

27:28

of jealousy. Like this is one of the better

27:31

single dude fridges. It's way better than my single

27:33

dude fridge. Thank you. Wow. So

27:35

this is all just to make me feel better.

27:37

I'm bringing you down. Oh

27:39

that makes me feel so much better. As long as I

27:41

know that it's because I am better

27:43

than you in some way. I'm totally cool with

27:46

it. Keep them arrows coming baby. Oh

27:49

you got fucking Ben and Jerry's doggy

27:52

fucking ice cream you fucking loser.

27:58

I do have the love of a great dog. I'm so sorry.

28:01

I didn't know Ben & Jerry's makes dog ice cream. Yeah,

28:03

well now you know. I mean now you do know actually.

28:05

You do know because you're looking at it. Yeah, I mean

28:07

the freezer is solid. Very good. A

28:09

lot of good smoothie stuff I'm assuming. No, I've

28:12

not been making them yet but I'm trying to

28:14

get into making them. I've made one so far

28:16

very successful. I'd like to dive back in. Instead

28:18

what I just did was last night open that

28:20

frozen mangoes and frozen strawberries and just ate cup

28:23

after cup of it and I told myself I

28:25

would just have one cup and then I went

28:27

back and back. The strawberries were not as good

28:29

as the mangoes so I ended up going all

28:31

mango in my subsequent rounds but you

28:34

know you do what you have to do. So you just ate

28:36

frozen fruit? Straight up, yeah. You just ate frozen fruit. I mean

28:38

if that throws you off, this next thing is going to really

28:40

throw you off but I'll tell you my family secret. I don't

28:42

know if it's on a top shelf. You might have just skimmed

28:44

over because an unfettered eye you

28:46

see right there and above that is

28:49

frozen peas. That bag is like half

28:51

open. You know why? You

28:53

know what I was taught as a child to

28:55

do? And I do it everywhere. I even brought

28:57

a freezer into my Burning Man shift pod tent

28:59

with me and had frozen peas with me. I

29:02

pour a cup of frozen peas and

29:04

drink slash eat it like ice cream. It's

29:07

like bon bons or Dippin' Dots. It's a

29:10

healthy, relatively low calorie sweet treat and it's

29:12

incredible. Share that with my dog Henry Horse

29:14

as well. Tell me you've done it. If

29:16

not, will you try it? Do you understand

29:18

how it could be amazing? It is. I

29:21

can drink a whole cup and then go

29:23

back for another cup. Is it like a

29:26

green bean just popping it frozen? No, not

29:28

beans. Peas. Sweet green peas. Oh,

29:30

green peas. I mean, I'm not mad at

29:32

that. I've never done it. You have to. I

29:34

could see that being good. You could do a whole mug and just

29:36

straight up drink it and be like, patni goes like, pah, and they

29:38

just like pour into your mouth like little balls of

29:40

heaven. I promise you, I will try that. I'm not

29:42

mad at that idea. Thank you. It's

29:44

really nice. It's a nice dessert that kind of gets you by. Some

29:48

people join green peas and

29:50

some people drink green peas. Oh,

29:53

boy. Oh, boy. Well,

29:55

again, great, great,

29:58

great fridge. Very impressive. Thank you. Yeah,

30:02

you're going to get a good score. How

30:04

long have we been recording for? We've

30:06

been on for about more than a

30:08

half hour. Normally, people's fridges take about

30:10

10 minutes. Really? And

30:13

we took 34 minutes in the fridge. Wow.

30:16

It's a testament to your wonderful fridge. It

30:18

was a testament to our riffing ability and the fact

30:20

that we had to have a couple of drag out

30:22

fights to just kind of get to the bottom of

30:24

some peanut butter based issues. That's

30:27

true. You know, it's funny.

30:29

Comedians' fridges are hard to read because

30:31

a lot of

30:33

comedians have very full fridges, meaning

30:35

that they're doing really well. A lot of comedians have

30:38

very empty fridges, meaning that they're doing very well and

30:40

they're on the road all the time. So

30:43

they never have food in the fridge. Yeah, yeah. Which

30:45

one are you, Ben Gleeb? Well,

30:49

my fridge was full. So I'm

30:51

not on the road a lot anymore. I was touring for

30:53

15 straight years and I've taken the

30:55

last couple of years off the road almost completely.

30:58

Very rare. Maybe I'll go do a corporate or

31:00

a weekend if it falls in my lap. But I've

31:02

been LA based for the first time

31:05

in forever for the last couple of years

31:07

and I enjoy it. I do a lot

31:09

of virtual shows with my virtual club, Nowhere

31:11

Comedy. I've been doing gigs around LA and

31:14

just kind of trying a different

31:16

tact in life, you know? I like you used

31:18

to tour like insanity as well. But

31:20

I was doing colleges. But I think it's good to

31:22

do it that way because then staying in one place

31:24

really feels like you're on vacation. Yeah.

31:28

I really like being home or I started

31:30

doing that because my girlfriend at the time,

31:33

she was quite frustrated how much I would

31:35

be gone. And then the pandemic hit

31:37

and then she ended up not really liking me being home

31:39

that much. We broke up and I decided I like being

31:41

home. So it was kind of a nice

31:43

progression. Yeah. If you're listening to

31:45

this ex-girlfriend, I just want you to know you're

31:48

missing out. You have a wonderful fridge. It's a

31:50

comfortable home to be in. I mean, it's crazy

31:52

you said that because not to dive too deep

31:54

into this, but that fridge specifically is a big

31:56

part of why we broke up. What?

32:00

This is the podcast for you. You have to tell

32:02

us. I

32:04

mean we just had like a terrible fight. Our

32:06

worst fight ever was over that fridge. And so

32:08

I had a different fridge. This is my home.

32:10

I bought it a long time ago. And then

32:12

she moved in and we were living together for

32:14

like three years. We were actually

32:16

engaged at the time. We are no longer

32:18

engaged or speaking to each other. The fridge ruined

32:20

it all. So I really shared a

32:22

lot of trauma with you that you uncovered because you were

32:24

just kind of intuitive like that, Dan. And you kind of

32:26

got right to my bottom. I didn't mean that to be

32:29

an innuendo at all. A lot of

32:31

people said that I'm the fridge-y Oprah. That's

32:33

correct. Yeah. And you get right to their

32:35

bottoms. Yeah. So I had a fridge that

32:37

stopped working. And at the time,

32:39

however, you have to understand some key facts. I would

32:41

love to hear your ruling, when to hear all the

32:43

facts, Dan. So in my office, just to the side

32:45

here, I have a second fridge. I have a little

32:48

fridge right here. I got a mini fridge. But

32:50

it's not even a tiny mini fridge. See the

32:52

red one in the corner? Yes. It's like one

32:54

of those retro little mini fridges. Cute. Yes, exactly.

32:56

But it's pretty big. I mean, you can hold

32:58

a fair amount of that. And at the time,

33:00

we were on a meal delivery plan trying to

33:02

lose weight. So we literally were

33:04

not cooking and literally did not need to

33:06

keep anything in the fridge except these pre-made

33:08

meals. And all of our pre-made

33:11

meals barely, but they would fit in this

33:13

mini fridge from each week's delivery.

33:16

So there was currently no rush for us

33:18

to get the fridge fixed because we literally

33:20

would be tempting and bad for us to

33:22

have other food in the fridge. And

33:24

so the fridge was broken, but I

33:26

guess she occasionally wanted to make little

33:28

extra things or whatever. And

33:31

she wanted me to get a new fridge

33:33

immediately. But I have house insurance that would

33:35

cover the appliances in my house, and I

33:37

was trying to get the company – that's

33:39

a real nightmare company, First American. They dropped

33:41

me because of all of this, and it

33:43

took like a month. It was like fighting

33:45

every day with these people. It would be not a month, but like two, three

33:47

weeks. Many calls, probably

33:50

like seven, eight, nine, like screaming, cussing

33:52

calls, like horrible customer service. Transfer me,

33:55

sir, we can't. We're canceling. There's another

33:57

department that can maybe approve a thing.

34:00

and she was like, just let's buy a fridge

34:02

already. I'm like, they're covering it. We

34:05

don't need it. I'm doing it this way.

34:07

And I finally made a breakthrough. I had

34:09

like an hour long fight with these people

34:11

on the phone and I'm like, I'm pretty

34:13

sure they're about to approve the money. The

34:15

next morning, she tells me

34:17

in the car, she's like, I'll tell you something. I

34:19

bought a fridge. I went to Costco. I bought

34:22

a new fridge. And

34:24

you can pay me for half of it if you want or

34:27

whatever, but like I just needed to solve this

34:29

already. And I was like, hell no. I

34:32

just fought. You're like under. You didn't tell me if you want, if you

34:34

were at a breaking point. I would have totally listened to them and opened

34:36

to it. You said to me, I want

34:39

to get the fridge resolved. I'm at a breaking point. Please.

34:41

Are you cool with that? But to go and buy an

34:44

appliance, I didn't look at it. I didn't approve the vibe

34:46

of it. I'm a little particular about details like that. I

34:49

don't know what fridge you're buying. You're just going and buying some

34:51

fridge that's going to live in the kitchen forever. And

34:54

I did maybe demand that she return

34:56

the fridge. She'd already also then called my insurance

34:58

company and got the new fridge covered. And I'm

35:00

like, please call them, tell them we did not

35:02

buy the fridge. We're returning it and

35:04

return the fridge. I will not accept this fridge. And

35:06

so she did, but she was very, very mad about

35:08

it. And I did then get them to issue a

35:11

check to pay for most of the new fridge, got

35:13

a new fridge. We did it in a rush. I

35:15

didn't want to make an extra big deal and got

35:17

a fridge that's too big, which is why it's so

35:19

filled. And I think she

35:21

never recovered. We never recovered as a couple

35:23

from this fridge fiasco. I felt

35:25

like I needed to be part of

35:28

the decision of what fridge replaces that fridge.

35:30

We could have talked it out. You

35:32

made the executive decision and I'm no longer engaged. I'm

35:34

on the market. Lady's side into the DMs. The DMs

35:36

are open. What do you think, Dan? I

35:39

think your DMs are going to

35:41

be pretty empty after that story,

35:44

Ben. If

35:47

Ben's ex is listening, I just want to

35:49

say you're in a better place. You're in

35:51

a better place. Oh, well, you son

35:53

of a bitch. First of all, you know, it's

35:56

really funny as someone who was also engaged

35:58

and is now disengaged. I

36:00

feel like whenever we tell our side of the

36:02

story of something, of the thing

36:04

that like ruined the relationship, you know, there's

36:06

that expression, there's your way, there's her way,

36:08

and then there's the truth. And

36:11

in the way that we tell it is usually

36:13

in a way that it's almost impossible for people

36:15

to not be on our side. The

36:19

way you told that, I

36:22

think everyone is screaming in their cars

36:24

listening to this episode. It didn't sound

36:27

great coming out as I told it

36:29

either. I

36:33

mean, oh my God, I get it, I

36:35

get it. But no, I think that's on

36:37

you, man. I mean, you know, but

36:40

this is later in life, Dan, saying

36:42

this because I'm also very, very stubborn

36:44

about getting justice

36:48

when it comes to, you know,

36:50

let's say getting money from an insurance company, getting

36:54

exactly the right thing, which

36:56

I need to do research for and this and

36:58

that. But I'm also like now I'm at a

37:00

place where if something is going to cost a

37:02

couple thousand dollars and get rid of a huge

37:05

problem, I think it's just worth doing it and

37:07

not. But you're not taking into account two things.

37:09

Wait, hold on. What I'm saying is ladies, what

37:11

I'm saying is ladies, a couple thousand dollars is

37:13

nothing for me. I'm also single and

37:15

my DMs are also open. And

37:17

I have a feeling that after so overtly

37:20

trying to turn my pain into a chance

37:22

for you to get laid, your DMs are

37:24

going to be very empty. Mine's

37:26

at Ben Gleib on Instagram. And if you're looking

37:29

for a man who's grown from his fridge things

37:31

but also doesn't flaunt his money around like that

37:33

but does have a lot now because we're not

37:35

stuck in that pandemic time when money was tight,

37:37

hit up at Ben Gleib on the DMs. Ladies,

37:40

he's got so much money, he can buy

37:42

a fridge that is too big for his

37:44

kitchen. That's the kind of money

37:46

we're talking about. If you want a man who

37:48

spends his money like that, then yeah, please by

37:50

all means. Ladies if you

37:52

want a man who can afford a Guitar

37:55

so fancy it floats in the air,

37:57

you go to Dan. There's

38:01

no video for this. unfortunate but I have

38:03

an idea of a guitar that's attached to

38:05

the ball It you can see always on

38:07

the wall. Okay let's let's the Brazilians lived

38:09

in probe a poll on it's at been

38:11

Glebe B N G L I E be

38:13

no gee I'd be you son of a

38:15

bitch. I. I biggest

38:17

pet peeve up in the world even though is that they

38:19

did. You make that mistake. Them super chill about it and

38:21

that's. Why

38:23

we the know that I am I wrong

38:25

button? I'm so so so relaxed. But.

38:28

I feel like you're undervaluing the fact

38:30

that we're on the meal program. Damn.

38:32

And. We had a mini fridge that

38:34

was holding our food needs. Are you not?

38:36

Because then it just seemed like he was

38:39

undermining me for no reason. like like she

38:41

literally just made decisions without consulting her partner.

38:43

A you know undermined. Either way to undermine

38:45

your partner's agency in like you're going to

38:48

be so leverage for ten years. Like why

38:50

would we not discuss it? why would we

38:52

not agreed together or tell you what I

38:55

honestly think and this is me This is

38:57

this Optimizers had on now I think the

38:59

for her she was seeing this saying this

39:01

for it's thing. Completely.

39:04

Overtake. Her fiance life she thought

39:06

sought seeping into every part of her

39:08

life. Comics were crazy dude where obsessive

39:10

people you as hi, I'm Michael, I'm

39:12

I. I totally see where you're coming

39:14

from and I'm like that too. And

39:17

I think that for normal people, they

39:19

see that for civilians and they're like

39:21

we'd Why? There's. Decisis Undue stress

39:23

why I can take care of this

39:25

but for us we see that as

39:27

a slight and we see it as

39:29

undercutting. Like you said sign of stand

39:31

that but prefers probably just like it

39:33

was becoming the main. It was

39:35

becoming with the relationship with About and she's in

39:37

a want that anymore So on the really seems

39:39

to be about her and about both of you.

39:41

Not about the fridge. I guess

39:43

that part. I do agree with that but still a

39:46

sudden the next step have been. hurt

39:48

talking to me and saying i feel like this

39:50

but or and for it is becoming our relationship

39:52

is becoming too big a problem i would really

39:54

like to address it now and solvents are you

39:57

cool with me going to costco tomorrow and buying

39:59

one you can come or not or whatever, I'll

40:01

pay for it or not. Probably, yes. You're

40:04

right, but let me ask you this, and I need, as

40:06

a truth serum in your veins, I

40:09

need you to put yourself back in that era, you

40:12

need to put yourself back in that time, the

40:14

rage that you were feeling, the way that you

40:16

were like, I need to do this, nothing can

40:18

get in my way, and this

40:20

girl comes up to you and

40:22

nicely says, this can't go on anymore, I'm

40:25

going to Costco tomorrow, you can be a part of this or not, you're

40:29

getting a new fridge. You would

40:31

not have flipped your fucking shit and

40:33

said no, we're doing,

40:35

I'm almost there, we're at the one

40:37

yard line. Listen, if you're going to

40:39

make good points, I will walk off this podcast. No,

40:43

I will honestly answer that, my response,

40:45

I think it was at close, it

40:47

was horrible for both of us, and

40:50

I knew it was creating a lot of strain. My answer though

40:52

would have been, I understand what you're saying,

40:54

I respect it, we're on the one yard line,

40:57

please wait just 24 more hours, because I really

40:59

think they're about to issue the check, if they don't, by

41:01

the end of tomorrow, I will go with you to Costco, we'll

41:03

get a fridge. That's what I think we would have said, it

41:05

would have resolved, I think so. I would have asked for one

41:07

more day for sure, because we were very

41:09

close, we did get that check. Man,

41:12

I wish I had an insurance company sponsor right now,

41:14

this would have been the best ad of like, this

41:17

is why you need to go to GEICO. What

41:20

if your girl left you for the insurance

41:22

company, have you thought that? Maybe that's what

41:24

happened, because the insurance company

41:26

broke up with you, she broke up with

41:28

you, I don't know, they're probably in

41:30

Tijuanajo on the beach. I'm

41:32

actually going there in two weeks, so I

41:34

will look, but I will say that I'm

41:36

a different person now, a couple

41:39

years later, I'm a calmer man, I'm

41:41

more rational, I definitely see that I

41:43

think there's plenty of things, she's wrong,

41:45

there's definitely plenty of things I did

41:47

wrong, plus recounting the story right now,

41:49

also makes me re-realize it,

41:51

and your perspective of it. Would

41:56

not, in my more evolved way,

41:58

that you said you are now too. I would

42:00

not have made such a thing about the fridge, but I was

42:02

just in it. You know, I was in it this Started

42:05

off as a fridge podcast and I

42:07

never thought that it would turn into

42:09

fridge therapy like it did today But

42:12

we should start this you know how like

42:14

back in the day with when like sitcoms

42:16

would have like a serious one like Like

42:20

a like a on a very special different

42:22

strokes. Yeah, that was a creepy one, too

42:26

This is a very special green eggs and Dan

42:30

Okay, Johnny Morgan, how are you? I'm

42:32

good. How are you? Very good. Okay, you are

42:34

my only British friend that I have Okay,

42:37

and my question to you is how

42:39

do you pronounce? the word

42:42

h I b I s

42:45

c u s Hibiscus

42:49

you don't say hibiscus No

42:51

hibiscus who says hibiscus. I

42:54

don't know. I don't think a very hibiscus. I

42:56

would say that americans are saying hibiscus Oh

42:59

my god, I got this all turned around.

43:01

I thought brits say hibiscus and americans say

43:03

hibiscus Maybe i'm saying hibiscus Maybe

43:05

it hasn't been a whole lot of hibiscus Can

43:08

you conference in a british friend who's very british

43:10

and we do this again because you've been in

43:12

america too long You've been in america too

43:14

long. It's Two in

43:16

the morning in england. So or whatever

43:18

they're gonna be upset. Do you have an english

43:20

friend in america that we can call? uh

43:25

No Go Surely

43:28

we can you can we can google youtube?

43:31

Hold on i'm going to call my friend

43:33

who's from australia That might

43:35

be close enough. Yes, because

43:37

they're awake. Okay, hold on Hey,

43:42

don i've got charles and I have johnny

43:44

two people one is from britain and one

43:46

is from australia That's

43:48

the one. Yeah Charles this

43:50

is a trap. It's not a trap. The

43:53

question is how do you pronounce the word?

43:56

h-i-b-i Scus.

44:00

I did you say hibiscus

44:03

with no and say hi

44:05

discuss I immediately and our.

44:09

Only idiots My guest band bleed with American

44:11

was fucking thing hide viscous like he was

44:13

the queen and even the queen didn't sad

44:16

discuss the Fleet of Risk or some other.

44:19

Side Biscuits One side Biscuits

44:21

Me going I discover. As

44:25

buddies or I thank you gentlemen,

44:27

you can go back to the

44:30

Commonwealth and their. I appreciate both.

44:33

Of us a her advice. Or

44:36

right have this gif it is. So.

44:41

Love a series and is on

44:43

as Whole Foods market with deals

44:45

and delicious desires through February fourteenth.

44:47

The floral departments in full bloom,

44:49

the look for settings on Devil

44:51

Doesn't bunches of roses and a

44:53

neat and season departments save on

44:55

Animal Welfare certified New York said

44:58

steaks and sustainable while cat lobster

45:00

tails to minutes and nice sizzle

45:02

just from the wellness and beauty

45:04

department are always a nice touch

45:06

and is has to grab those

45:08

Sackler Did strawberries make Whole Foods

45:10

market Your Valentine's Day destination. Okay,

45:20

let's get some fun questions that will

45:22

bring it back up. Proud of this

45:24

pit of pit of despair that we

45:26

found ourselves in. Starting with what is

45:28

your earliest food memory. While.

45:31

Ah, Just how much I loved Gerber

45:33

baby hotdogs. And there is little mini like

45:35

positively their size. How does the company can

45:37

So much so that up until about three

45:39

years ago, I was still buying them occasionally

45:42

about one seed yard. Eat Gerber Baby out

45:44

dogs. No. way i've never even

45:46

as i'm a new government hotdogs the others

45:48

little egg whites hundred slimy living in water

45:50

and low camps and i about three years

45:52

ago i stopped at the start of in

45:54

brazil little ill as think when she gets

45:56

forty kg beating baby food till through your

45:59

late thirties You're telling

46:01

me that many white sausages that come in

46:03

some sort of a chloroform jar are not

46:05

good for you? Huh, I would have never

46:07

thought that. Yeah I know it's shocking but

46:09

if you think about it, it's

46:12

true. What is your death row meal?

46:14

Let's think of a reason that you are on death

46:16

row. Okay, let's say the

46:21

day after your

46:23

fiance and you guys wake up,

46:27

you get a call from First American and

46:30

they're like, oh Mr. Gleeb,

46:32

yeah we messed up. Actually, you had the

46:34

type of policy we should have given you

46:36

that new fridge the day that you called

46:38

us. We thought you had a different policy.

46:40

It's our bad and you were like our

46:43

bad and you get in your car, you

46:45

go to the offices and you just

46:48

fucking Columbine that place. I'm

46:51

so glad that we brought it back up. You're

46:55

on death row. What is your death row meal? My

46:58

death row meal, an enormous

47:00

steak. I'd like two kinds of steak. I would

47:02

like like a New York steak maybe

47:05

and a prime rib. I

47:07

want that prime rib dipped in lots of

47:09

horseradish, both the horseradish and the horseradish sauce.

47:12

I want the New York steak dipped in

47:14

a1 sauce freely. I

47:17

would like like about six or seven

47:19

ice cream flavors like some Baskin Robbins,

47:21

mint and chip. I'd like chocolate

47:24

chips from Thrifty, coconut

47:26

pineapple from Thrifty. I also would like banana ice

47:28

cream from any of the best more organic banana

47:30

ice cream plates you can find or worst case,

47:32

cold stone if they can't hook it up even

47:34

though the state's about to kill me and they

47:37

really should look harder. I

47:39

would like a couple of eggs. I

47:41

would like a delicious salad, like very

47:43

fresh salad and I would like

47:45

maybe an In-N-Out burger but like hot. Like

47:49

a chef making it, like a cook making it

47:51

right there because In-N-Out drops off fast. It's good

47:53

live but it drops off fast and

47:55

then maybe like a couple like chicken soft

47:58

tacos from Taco Bell. Whoa. And

48:00

then I would like sushi, lots of sashimi, just lots. I

48:02

don't want the rice there. I don't need the carbs. I

48:04

don't need to put on any weight. But a

48:06

lot of sashimi, a lot of salmon sashimi.

48:09

Okay. I'm not the warden

48:11

at this prison, but it feels to

48:13

me like you've lost the plot a little bit. Okay.

48:17

I think you're just naming all your favorite foods from forever,

48:19

like all the time. And that's

48:21

not how it goes at this prison. That is

48:23

how it goes. I let you get away with

48:25

a New York strip steak and a ribeye. And

48:27

I was like, okay, we'll let that slide. And

48:30

then suddenly it went to five flavors of

48:32

ice cream. And then we went,

48:34

brought it back from five flavors of ice cream

48:36

to salad. And then you just started naming foods.

48:38

Like, are you just like Kaiser Sozang this? Like,

48:40

do I, is there like a list of foods

48:43

on a wall that you're just like meeting?

48:46

You went to tacos? No, this

48:48

is what I'm meeting with me. You don't think I'm gonna eat all this?

48:50

I'm gonna eat all of it. I

48:53

feel like there's a supermarket across the street from

48:55

you right now that you're just looking into with

48:57

binoculars and just naming shit. No, I

48:59

might also. It's not true

49:01

that you're all like what I would legitimately order.

49:03

I would also like a street hot dog with

49:05

like those grilled onions. Fresh made

49:07

like with one of those street hot dog cards right next

49:09

to my cell. They could pass it through if they don't

49:11

trust me to open the cell. But

49:14

I really would like all of that. I mean, I

49:16

actually have a standard bit about this because people, this

49:18

is not too elaborate of a meal. I

49:20

mean, people on their last meals have this kind of crazy

49:22

meal. Like they eat crazy. And

49:25

my whole bet about it is that… Is that

49:28

true? Yeah, they always print it in the

49:30

paper and it's like a nine course meal

49:32

of all the things the person loves. It's

49:34

crazy how big the meal is. And

49:37

then my joke about it is

49:39

that I just think it's hilarious

49:41

that as the government is literally

49:43

putting to death these like depraved

49:46

psychopath sociological mastermind

49:48

twisted individuals as

49:50

they're being put to death by the state, 100% of

49:53

times they are sitting there about

49:55

to be killed and their last thought on Earth is,

49:58

I really don't feel good. My

50:00

stomach is... I overdid it. I overdid it.

50:02

I did not need that. Second

50:04

steak was probably too much. Diet

50:07

starts tomorrow. Oh,

50:09

actually it is. Yeah, it might be the one time. Here

50:13

comes the hangman. I guess it is. What

50:15

is the best high-end meal that you've ever had? Oof.

50:18

Best high-end meal. I've had a lot of

50:21

great ones, but I will... One

50:23

time I was very stoned in Rosarito, Mexico.

50:25

My best friend and I were alone in this

50:28

fancy restaurant. It just happened to be completely

50:30

empty. There was like five tuxedoed servers

50:32

that were just serving us. It was

50:35

lobster. It was lobster bisque. It was

50:37

all variations of lobster. It was an

50:39

amazing table-made Caesar salad. It

50:41

was an incredible meal, but I will say it

50:43

might have been a prime rib involved in that

50:46

meal, I think. Being

50:48

stoned really helped. But also just a

50:50

couple weeks ago, I was in the

50:52

old city of Ako in Israel. It's

50:55

this amazing city where Muslims

50:57

and Jews live together and

50:59

coexist very peaceably

51:01

and all together. It's a great model, I think,

51:03

for the world. I went

51:05

to this famous restaurant called Uri Bory's Fish

51:08

House or whatever. Uri Bory's restaurant

51:10

is like a legend. This long

51:13

bearded guy. He made us directly

51:15

the world's best little shot glass

51:17

full of truffle mushroom soup. The

51:20

best salmon sashimi dish I ever had in

51:22

my life, it was salmon sashimi with wasabi

51:25

gelato on top of it.

51:28

Every bite, the wasabi would melt, the gelato

51:30

would melt wasabi flavor

51:32

into your mouth with the salmon, and

51:35

it was just bonkers good. I've

51:37

heard of this guy. I'm actually looking at the pictures

51:39

of him, and I'm like, oh yeah, that guy. I

51:41

think I've seen him on some food

51:43

show, but yeah, that's a very, very famous joint

51:45

that he's got. Yeah, it

51:48

was very good. It was

51:50

not overrated whatsoever. What

51:53

is the best low end meal you've ever had? This

51:55

can be a street taco, a

51:57

hot dog. I'm

52:00

probably just drunken nights, late night, like

52:02

stumbling into a Taco Bell and ordering

52:04

way too many things, or it probably

52:06

is street hot dogs. I often have

52:08

two. If I'm like, it's the

52:10

right night, I'll have two back to back, you got

52:12

the extra mustard on it, all this siboyas, and

52:15

I like two of them, bacon wrapped. I mean, I don't

52:17

actually need it bacon wrapped. I go

52:19

one bacon wrapped, one not. The

52:22

next question is, what's your favorite drunk food, which I think we answered

52:24

it. We did answer that, I think we

52:26

answered that. Favorite hangover cure?

52:30

I like to go and get, I think the best is like

52:33

fried chicken and waffles with Bloody Marys.

52:36

Whoa, you know, it's funny, I can't get down with

52:38

the fried chicken and waffles. For some reason, the sweetness

52:41

and the chicken, I'm not into it. I

52:43

don't go same bite, I don't go same bite,

52:45

but I like that you get both. And I

52:47

go waffle bite, then I go chicken bites. Anything

52:50

that kind of soak it up, but you also need the

52:52

lipids from that chicken, you know what I'm saying? Yo, you

52:55

need those chicken lipids, dog. Also,

52:57

side note, important to note, the

52:59

best coleslaw in the world is KFC coleslaw. Whoa,

53:02

I don't know that I feel like arguing

53:04

that because I don't really have any other

53:06

counters to that. But

53:09

I must try it then. All right, I'll give it to you. Oh,

53:11

it's like chopped, it's crunchy and mm-mm. I

53:14

rarely get KFC, but whenever I get it, I'm like, oh

53:16

yeah, this is the best bite of food that is like

53:19

in this humanly possible. Yeah, and then an hour

53:21

later, you feel horrible and you regret every decision

53:23

you've made. Doesn't matter, that's why it's a good

53:25

death row meal. There ain't no hour

53:27

later. True death. What's your

53:29

favorite dessert? This is a new question that we're

53:31

workshopping, by the way. I like that, I like

53:33

that a lot. I'm your test case here. Can

53:36

I tell you this is the second time we're

53:38

doing it? And the first one was in Erin

53:41

Darling's episode and she

53:43

said Twizzlers, to which point

53:45

I was like, oh, maybe this question's not gonna

53:47

work because people don't know how

53:49

to answer what's my favorite

53:51

dessert, Twizzlers? No, that's a

53:53

terrible answer. My favorite dessert,

53:55

banana flambe or cherries jubilee.

53:59

I like when they said it on. fire. Whoa! I'm sorry

54:01

that's not where I thought we were going. You

54:03

just took a trip to the 80s and I'm

54:05

here for it. Hot sub time machine. Let's go.

54:07

And then also at

54:09

the Harrah's Harvey's Steakhouse

54:12

that I think is now closed, they also would

54:14

make this like table side coffee dessert with like

54:16

ice cream on the coffee and they would like

54:18

set it on fire and like put like gold

54:21

shards on it and like sprint the coffee down

54:23

the side of the ice cream. That's pretty good

54:25

too. I like a flaming dessert. Yeah, you like

54:27

a show. You like a show

54:29

with your dessert. I'm into that. You like a little

54:31

flair. I'm okay with that. Yeah,

54:33

but also Twizzlers, you know. Delicious. Twizzlers!

54:37

Who the fuck says Twizzlers to

54:39

what's your favorite dessert? Twizzlers?

54:41

Yeah, it doesn't really make any

54:43

sense. Again, if your answer was

54:46

something bonkers like that, I'd be like, okay, I

54:48

have to just take this question off. For some

54:50

reason, people's brains don't work when you ask them,

54:52

what's your favorite dessert? Dude, I

54:55

dated Aaron Darling for a minute. We dated for

54:57

a second and... Wait, is this true? This

54:59

is true. This is why it ended. It was... we just

55:01

couldn't get on the same page as far as the

55:04

dessert. For

55:07

like a quick minute. Actually, the lovely human were still

55:09

friends, but you know, we weren't

55:11

long for the game relationship-wise. Let me

55:13

tell you something. I might have, you

55:15

know, empathized a little more with your ex

55:17

in the fridge story, but with this one?

55:20

No, man. You were right. How can

55:22

you be with a woman whose favorite dessert

55:24

is fucking Twizzlers? Thank you. Just

55:27

kidding. Aaron, you're like a really nice

55:29

person. I just met her recently. She's

55:31

very sweet. She's very sweet. You're really

55:33

great, Aaron. Congrats on your marriage. I

55:35

know you just got married. It's really

55:37

exciting. Really exciting. Could have been me

55:39

if you got better taste and dessert,

55:41

but it's fine. Who's your favorite celebrity

55:43

food personality? Martha Stewart. That's

55:46

a good one. Not many people say Martha

55:48

Stewart. Yeah, I think she's my

55:50

favorite. I also do. I do

55:52

like Gordon Ramsay. Martha Stewart and

55:54

Gordon Ramsay, two sides of a very different coin. Yeah,

55:57

similar coin because you know, it's funny. I

55:59

think that's They're like a little bit

56:01

polar opposites. I think Gordon Ramsay in

56:03

real life is really, really nice. And

56:06

then his persona is just a mean asshole. I

56:08

think Martha Stewart in real life is like a

56:10

real ball buster. And the only reason I say

56:12

that is like it's impossible to have an empire

56:14

like that and not kind of be a little

56:16

bit of a ball buster. But

56:19

then her persona on TV is like, I'm

56:21

kind of the every woman who

56:23

lives in Greenwich Connecticut

56:25

or whatever. Yeah, when I

56:27

worked with her, she was nice, but she was

56:29

a little – I could see the ball buster

56:31

tendencies for sure. She did kind

56:34

of come at me on a

56:36

thing or two, one of them even somewhat publicly. I

56:39

started singing the national anthem to

56:42

her. It was a Super Bowl event we hosted together. I

56:44

started singing. I was singing it badly on purpose, but she

56:46

thought I was like – not the best I could sing.

56:49

And she – in front of everybody, it was

56:51

like, what is this? Made a face. And then

56:53

the gag was that a whole marching band –

56:56

or like a whole choir rather came out and

56:58

sang it with us. And she was quite pleased

57:00

with that moment and understood what was happening. But she was

57:02

not afraid to like throw me under the

57:04

bus singing-wise. A little bit

57:06

of a King Joffrey from Coming to

57:09

America. No, it's from Game of Thrones.

57:12

Right, right, right. All right, desert island food. You're

57:14

trapped on a desert island. One food

57:16

you're going to eat for the rest of your life, you will

57:18

never ever get tired of it. What

57:21

is it? Sushi. Any

57:23

specific – mine is pizza. Very basic of

57:25

you. I would go

57:28

salmon – salmon sushi. I would say

57:30

salmon sashimi, but I figured for desert island, I might want

57:32

some carbs in there. So I

57:34

would go salmon – I would go salmon

57:36

sushi. Truffle, truffle salmon nigiri. Yeah. Wow.

57:40

The island suddenly got a little bit more bougie. Suddenly

57:42

we're on St. Bart's apparently. You're damn

57:44

right. Me and Martha Stewart are shipwrecked

57:47

together, making love to each other, drinking

57:49

sushi out of each other's bodies. Drinking

57:52

sushi. We have two more questions.

57:54

Is there food that you can't stand eating?

57:57

There are food that I can't stand eating.

58:00

that I do still eat or do I avoid it now? You

58:03

avoid it. I

58:05

think like chicken liver, like liver I don't like much.

58:08

I mean I sometimes like the taste is so weird

58:10

that I occasionally like to indulge like a bite or

58:12

two and kind of suffer through it but I don't

58:14

like it. And then what is the

58:16

weird food that you still do eat that you can't

58:18

stand eating? Because

58:21

you did ask that I'm still eating or that I don't eat?

58:24

Like I don't like sprouts but I eat them a lot. I

58:26

don't like, I

58:29

don't like bread but

58:31

I do it. Sometimes.

58:35

You like bread. You just don't like,

58:37

you feel guilty eating bread. Well

58:40

like I don't like wheat bread particularly yet I

58:42

choose it because I think the others are so

58:44

unhealthy so whenever I eat bread it's just generally

58:46

wheat bread and then I don't enjoy it. So

58:48

I may as well have better bread. I'd

58:51

much rather have a challah bread or

58:53

just even white bread but I

58:56

don't. Hold on, fucking A, I

58:58

don't wanna go on another tangent but why,

59:00

what about like a good piece of sourdough bread?

59:03

Like a tartine, like

59:05

a nice good bougie piece of

59:07

bread? I like a piece of sourdough bread. If

59:09

it's warm and I got some butter on it,

59:12

maybe a little bit of sea salt, sure then I like it a

59:14

lot. This is the first

59:17

time in history someone like doesn't like bread but they're like forcing

59:19

themselves to eat it like it's spinach. I

59:22

also do like bread a lot when it's

59:24

dipped in balsamic vinegar, I won't grant you

59:26

that. Bread is the most, it's

59:28

like the most fundamental food that we have, it's

59:30

so delicious. Reading is fundamental, bread I feel like

59:33

is more like you

59:35

don't need it, I've lost weight by not eating carbs but

59:38

I'd probably rather keep bread and lose

59:40

pasta but I'd rather keep pasta and

59:42

lose rice. Keep pasta,

59:44

lose rice, okay but bread is

59:46

number one? I like bread

59:48

the most out of those three except I do like

59:50

a spaghetti bolognese. I think I need to evaluate my

59:52

opinions on this, we should move on. Last

59:56

question, my favorite question and I feel like

59:58

you're gonna come in hot on this. What

1:00:00

is or what are your restaurant pet

1:00:03

peeves? Oh boy. I do

1:00:06

not like when you ask for lemon wedges or

1:00:08

lemon slices and they just intentionally ignore it and

1:00:10

never bring it and you have to ask four

1:00:12

times. I feel like it's their little rebellions for

1:00:14

not really loving their job as

1:00:16

a server and thinking it's superfluous to ask.

1:00:18

So it's one thing that they can avoid

1:00:20

bringing. That's frustrating to

1:00:22

me. Wow. Hyper-specific. Yeah.

1:00:25

There's that. I don't like the social

1:00:28

pressure to put the

1:00:30

cloth napkin on your lap. I

1:00:32

usually don't do it. I just don't spill. I'll sit

1:00:34

close to the table if I have to. But it's

1:00:36

just I'm a guy and my leg is spread

1:00:38

open and then it always falls on the ground. I'm

1:00:41

just picking up a napkin from the ground all meal

1:00:43

long. I realize you could probably tuck it

1:00:45

or something. I've never tucked it. I probably should learn to move

1:00:47

how to tuck it so it doesn't fall. But it

1:00:49

just keeps falling. So you put the napkin. Where's

1:00:52

the napkin? I'll put it

1:00:54

on the table and I'll use it to clean up

1:00:56

my hands occasionally or my mouth.

1:00:59

So you just leave it table side. Leave

1:01:02

it table side. Can I give you a

1:01:04

suggestion? I want to change your life. I

1:01:07

want to not make you look like an uncultured brute

1:01:09

at dinner. Thank you. What you should

1:01:11

do, take the napkin which is

1:01:13

a square. Okay? Instead of putting it like this

1:01:15

is a square, then there's a two top sides,

1:01:18

two bottom sides. Instead of taking the two top

1:01:20

sides and then putting it on

1:01:22

your lap like that, go for the

1:01:24

corners diagonal and then cross it

1:01:26

at the hypotenuse if you will. That way

1:01:28

you have a much longer thing and then

1:01:31

it's like a triangle, right? So you have

1:01:33

a long base here, triangles in.

1:01:35

This way it's longer. You can put on your

1:01:37

legs and it won't fall in between the cracks

1:01:39

because it goes a lot longer on the legs.

1:01:41

That's actually how I do my napkins. I do

1:01:43

go triangle. It's still false. Could

1:01:45

you not have stopped me while I was dying to… No,

1:01:48

you were making Fibonacci's circle.

1:01:50

That was like you were

1:01:52

getting hypotenuse because it turned

1:01:54

into a triangle. It could have

1:01:56

been two words and you were so elaborately

1:01:58

explaining it. a square into

1:02:01

a triangle. We all not a turn square into

1:02:03

a triangle, we just rolled it diagonally my god.

1:02:06

I was enjoying seeing you paint that beautiful

1:02:08

picture that I knew did not work. Does

1:02:10

your napkin never fall on the ground? No,

1:02:13

not really. Wow. I don't

1:02:15

tuck it, do you tuck it inside your belt or

1:02:18

something or in your pants? No.

1:02:20

No, but I'm not sitting like I'm at

1:02:22

a fucking rodeo with my legs like, you

1:02:24

know, you

1:02:26

know, at 180 degrees with my dick

1:02:29

just spilling out. I sit like I'm

1:02:32

sitting at a piano almost. Like, your decision, that's

1:02:34

your decision. I feel like as soon as you

1:02:36

sit at piano, you're also hitting those like foot

1:02:38

pedals and they really make a napkin fall. So

1:02:41

I feel like it's a false analogy. I sit

1:02:43

when I had restaurant, I'm paying for a fancy

1:02:45

meal. I'm like King Jaffee Jaffar out there. I want

1:02:47

them to come bring me like a lion over my

1:02:49

shoulder that I am eating the body of during the

1:02:52

meal. I want to really

1:02:54

go all out. I hope that

1:02:56

this spurns you and I to

1:02:58

write some sort of animated series

1:03:00

called King Jaffee Jaffar on the

1:03:02

fake king who's both from Game

1:03:04

of Thrones, Aladdin Land

1:03:07

and also Queens, New

1:03:09

York from coming to America. I think it

1:03:11

should be called coming to the Thrones. Coming

1:03:15

to the Thrones via Riyadh

1:03:17

because of the Aladdin part. The Aladdin part that

1:03:20

you just added, but I do know why you're

1:03:22

adding it. I get it. And then I also,

1:03:24

I think the tag like the

1:03:27

famous lines from the movie should be

1:03:29

the famous line should be

1:03:31

winter is coming. Yes. Fuck

1:03:34

you too. Don't look

1:03:36

now it gets better. I mean, it's kind of all

1:03:38

those lines back to back. Oh,

1:03:40

Ben Gleave. So much fun as

1:03:43

I knew this would be. Ben Gleave, tell the people

1:03:45

where they can find you. You

1:03:47

can find me peering into

1:03:50

my fridge looking for the

1:03:52

answers. You can also follow me

1:03:55

on Instagram at

1:03:58

Ben Gleave or same on and X and

1:04:00

all the things. My website, bengleeb.com.

1:04:02

You can subscribe to my podcast, Last Week

1:04:05

on Earth, where I kind of summarize the

1:04:07

world and or just rant on whatever's on

1:04:09

my mind, sometimes with guests, usually not. And

1:04:12

yeah, occasionally anchoring the news on

1:04:14

the Young Turks and watch

1:04:17

my special, The Mad King, on YouTube,

1:04:19

or my special, Neurotic Gangster

1:04:21

on Amazon Prime. Links to all of that is

1:04:23

in my Instagram bio. And

1:04:25

again, just so that we're

1:04:27

clear, it's G-L-E-I-B, Gleeb.

1:04:31

You're damn right. At Ben Gleeb, G-L-E-I-B, unless

1:04:33

you're trying to get into those DMs, in

1:04:36

which case, it is G-L-I-I-E-I-B with

1:04:40

an accent a-goo on the end of

1:04:42

it. And every time you message Dan

1:04:44

on Instagram, you better not say anything

1:04:47

personal. It's always a bot or his

1:04:49

assistant replying, so don't ask him out

1:04:51

ever. Ha ha ha.