Campaign 2: Episode 139 - Big Strong Fight Pit Man

Campaign 2: Episode 139 - Big Strong Fight Pit Man

Released Tuesday, 15th April 2025
Good episode? Give it some love!
Campaign 2: Episode 139 - Big Strong Fight Pit Man

Campaign 2: Episode 139 - Big Strong Fight Pit Man

Campaign 2: Episode 139 - Big Strong Fight Pit Man

Campaign 2: Episode 139 - Big Strong Fight Pit Man

Tuesday, 15th April 2025
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Episode Transcript

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0:30

Greetings Adventurers. I am

0:32

your dungeon master, Michael Damaro.

0:34

And my pronouns are he

0:36

him. Hi, my name's Nika,

0:38

and my pronouns are she her.

0:40

I play Rourke. Hey everybody, it's

0:42

great to be here. Thank you

0:44

so much for having me. My name

0:47

is Tim Lanning, my pronouns are he

0:49

him. And I play Chuck. Hey

0:51

everyone, I'm Jennifer Sheek, my

0:53

pronouns are she, her, and

0:56

I am playing Saline Von

0:58

Esper. Hi, my name is

1:00

Mike Bachman, my pronouns

1:02

are he, him, and I play Screech

1:04

Echo. Bobbit came into

1:06

being, in this moment. I

1:09

was, I was burned. Yeah, you gained

1:11

Cinteans. Covered in Hope

1:13

for the Future and Placenta.

1:15

Yes. Hey guys, we are

1:18

doing a charity stream. Wow.

1:20

after Easter. Well, yes. Yes,

1:22

that's crazy. So crazy. Do

1:24

we want to make any

1:26

announcements that we can't walk

1:29

back? Yeah, I do. I

1:31

do that too. We're not

1:33

getting any nose? No, we can

1:35

do it. I don't care. Okay.

1:37

You stayed thin. Feet to the

1:39

flames. I'm going to run

1:41

the charity stream game. What?

1:44

We're so excited. You're not

1:46

David, I'm mad at you. trip canceled

1:48

yeah it's like i thought i'm gonna

1:50

do something else no sorry yeah and

1:52

he's like i i got a running

1:54

game for you guys because i don't

1:56

want to edit this we're not going

1:58

to tell you what time Our

2:00

our slot is because you need

2:02

to get there at four o'clock.

2:04

Yeah, maybe ours is at seven

2:06

four o'clock Easter Yes, there's gonna

2:08

be a lot of fun. Mm-hmm.

2:11

This room is always fun. Yeah

2:13

April 26th and 27th 4 p.m.

2:15

Eastern to 4 p.m. Eastern I'm

2:17

gonna be playing commander again at

2:19

4 a.m. So I'm definitely gonna

2:21

need some of y'all to be

2:23

there to give me the energy

2:25

energy energy energy energy Yeah, but

2:27

as always a whole lot of

2:29

fun And it's for the Trevor

2:31

Project. So the Trevor Project, yet

2:33

again. Trevor Project. We've raised over

2:35

$111,000 over the past handful of

2:37

years, so that's pretty freaking sick.

2:39

That's incredible. Deja vu on top

2:41

of Deja vu. Because every year,

2:43

it's just like, oh wow, things

2:45

are so bad. I wouldn't be

2:47

surprised if you didn't get any

2:49

money, because things are so bad.

2:51

Things are, I mean, this is,

2:53

it's a very volatile time. right

2:55

now for everyone. That being said,

2:57

you don't have to give money

2:59

if you want to give of

3:01

your time, aka being in the

3:04

chat. We always really appreciate, there's

3:06

usually a core group of a

3:08

handful of folks that are there

3:10

for almost the entire thing. And

3:12

that means a lot to us.

3:14

That's crazy for the folks in

3:16

the AM times. Yeah, because we

3:18

still do like viewer raffles in

3:20

the Twilight hours. Yeah, a lot

3:22

of prices, or like the tag

3:24

gives the strength that the streamers

3:26

need. Yeah. And if you were

3:28

to stay the whole time, the

3:30

odds of you winning something are

3:32

pretty good. Yeah, because we still

3:34

do like viewer raffles in the

3:36

Twilight hours. Yeah, a lot of

3:38

prices obviously, but it's for Trevor

3:40

project, a good cause. Now more

3:42

than ever for the 14th time.

3:44

Yeah, it's truly every year it's

3:46

now more than ever. I'm sure

3:48

next year will be now more.

3:50

That means we gotta just keep

3:52

fucking doing it. We gotta keep

3:54

fucking doing it. That's like the

3:57

only thing we can do. Last

3:59

year pronouns were legal. Yeah, and

4:01

now they're not. We can't. wait

4:03

for the year that we get

4:05

to pick a different charity because

4:07

it's not right. That's like something

4:09

else. Finally it's for the dolphins.

4:11

We should do it maybe in

4:13

the future we can do a

4:15

charity for those paying ones that

4:17

had terrorists put on them. Yes.

4:19

Yes. Yes. To help them race

4:26

the runners race the sales

4:28

race the sales captain an

4:30

unidentified ship is approaching over

4:32

Roger wait is that an

4:35

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4:37

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4:53

terms and conditions Hey, this is

4:55

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the policies. Now I think Hey, you guys. Hey, guys. Hey, you guys. Hey, you guys. You leveled up. That's right. You leveled up. Can we quickly go around the

6:37

table and in? I

14:20

probably would have taken Wizard now,

14:23

but I don't feel like it's

14:25

it's right yet for my character

14:27

lore wise Okay, okay, that makes

14:29

sense. I don't feel like he's

14:31

ready to fully embrace the magic.

14:33

I've I just want to say

14:35

thank you for that because I

14:37

think that's so beautiful I like

14:39

it. I think it's like I'm

14:42

a warlock and we're like don't

14:44

worry about it I'm not mad.

14:46

It's good. Listen, if you give

14:48

me the chance, I would change

14:50

it. I would change something. I

14:52

don't know what I'd be. Well,

14:54

I think we do know what

14:56

you'd be. You'd be an artificial

14:58

warlock. Nika is new to fucked

15:01

up ill-advised characters. So like... great

15:03

time with a character that's not

15:05

like fully like specked out like

15:07

yeah I loved Rowan as a

15:09

character I will not be playing

15:11

a Ranger again you know this

15:13

is this is fully specked out

15:15

you don't think this is specked

15:18

out no I I personally like

15:20

to hit with my attacks and

15:22

effects due to the bonuses being

15:24

high enough that they actually do

15:26

things but I hit it so

15:28

you're rogue you can't miss so

15:30

if you come if you combo

15:32

things in the right way yeah

15:34

You can make it happen. Yeah,

15:37

and I get to go first

15:39

all the time. I like it.

15:41

There's some combos that are cellar.

15:43

Some that are okay. Yeah. Yeah.

15:45

I mean, Warlock plus anything is

15:47

almost always good. Warlock's just good.

15:49

Okay. What do you look like,

15:51

my friend? Yeah, what are you

15:53

wearing these days? Well, probably topless.

15:56

I mean, he's... Man. I'm a...

15:58

I'm a fucking eagle. Oh yeah,

16:00

it's been a dog for a

16:02

while. A weird bird. A weird

16:04

bird. A guy or a dog?

16:06

No, he hasn't been a dog

16:08

for a while. He's a dog.

16:10

A monkey eating a bird. Oh

16:12

okay. Yeah, yeah, it's a type

16:15

of, it's a Philippine eagle. Okay,

16:17

no, I do remember the eagle

16:19

now, I do, but I think

16:21

that like in my heart, like

16:23

when I think of like the

16:25

like essential screech in disguise, it's

16:27

beholder, I still think you're an

16:29

ant. I still think you're a

16:32

squirrel. I still think of drop

16:34

bear. Yeah, there's a lot of

16:36

options for you. Yeah, no, he's

16:38

got, he's got a history, but

16:40

I mean you always have to

16:42

be looking forward and not to

16:44

the past. Yeah, yeah. We didn't,

16:46

but down the road there's gonna

16:48

be like statues for you and

16:51

it's like every single one. Yeah,

16:53

it's like the back cave where

16:55

all of his old. Like Ironman

16:57

has all, yeah, yeah, fuck. Yeah,

16:59

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

17:01

you have Batman too. I feel

17:03

like it's been like two years

17:05

since you had a new person.

17:07

I feel like the eagle has

17:10

been more recent though. I did

17:12

forget about the eagle more than

17:14

I did any of the other

17:16

personas too. Yeah I agree with

17:18

you. If I was a fan

17:20

and we were shooting the shit

17:22

and talking about it, I would

17:24

say, I think Screech is going

17:26

to be an eagle for quite

17:29

some time. Yeah. Because you have

17:31

that cool ass cloak and shit.

17:33

Aren't you a bat? I have

17:35

like, like one, or like, you

17:37

have like four bats, don't you?

17:39

I could not be more clear

17:41

about my character. I don't understand

17:43

where all this confusion is coming

17:46

from. Stop yelling at me. We

17:48

have so, wait, so we've, because

17:50

the, because Roark has corvids and

17:52

rats, Corvids and rats, and then

17:54

Screech has bats, and do you

17:56

have anything else? Any other animal.

17:58

Yeah, I have frogs, and also,

18:00

I have a frog in a

18:02

frog, and a rat. This is

18:05

a whole. Fluckin' Pluckin' Pluckin' of

18:07

Damn Easter! This is a whole

18:09

fucking passer of Plagues! You just

18:11

subbed some locusts! I can only

18:13

have one of each though, and

18:15

well, I can have two bats

18:17

if you count myself. Right, and

18:19

they don't, and you have no

18:21

control over them as we have

18:24

established. I think you have three

18:26

of any of any combination of

18:28

it. I think I got like

18:30

4,000 corbids. Your corvic thing is

18:32

so crazy. I love it. We

18:34

got to do something with that.

18:36

You have how many? Well, okay,

18:38

let me look it up, let

18:41

me look it. I just remember

18:43

that you said that you said

18:45

it. None of you have more

18:47

ball bearings than my character has

18:49

them. That's true. That's fine. Who

18:51

are the king of ball bearings?

18:53

997 left. There's ball bearing shops

18:55

in like every corner. Shut up

18:57

Michael, no they're not. That's how

19:00

Chuck's gonna get back at you

19:02

for at your bakery stuff. Can

19:04

I have 101 ball bearings please?

19:06

You guys may have your ball

19:08

bearings and your corvids and your

19:10

bats and stuff, but I have

19:12

a haunted doll. I have to

19:14

remember that day. I have to

19:16

most dick pills. That is true.

19:19

It is hard to remember all

19:21

the stuff. Previously, on Green's Adventurers,

19:23

you get the resistance base and

19:25

they actually, they usher you into

19:27

talk to ratma, sort of right

19:29

away. I mean, Roark wouldn't be

19:31

hurt because I would know. Chuck,

19:33

I don't know how to say

19:35

this, but yes, she is. She

19:38

is dead. Shut the fuck on.

19:40

Roark, I'm so sorry. Um, Saline

19:42

did everything she could. She couldn't

19:44

save Chuck. What happened to him?

19:46

I think it's better for me

19:48

to let Saline tell you. Chuck

19:50

gets up, kicks the fucking door

19:52

open. Holy shit, you fell for

19:55

it. Happy prank skipping! I have

19:57

17 more pranks and I'm going

19:59

to pull on you today. Oh

20:01

my God! List them. Obviously the

20:03

war thing, but the muffins count,

20:05

right? That wasn't... That was someone

20:07

else. No! This is a cow?

20:09

This is a crab in my

20:11

bed, you? Is that just happened?

20:14

That just happened. Damn it! This

20:16

is a sewer crab. So I

20:18

was able to decode some of

20:20

the information that you read back

20:22

to me, and we have worked

20:24

out that the shipment is going

20:26

to be delivered next Thursday. It's

20:28

actually going to the endless bazaar.

20:30

Now, Blather Snipes's journal. It looks

20:33

like it's actually coming for Whitmore

20:35

Fort. You guys know Whitmore Fort,

20:37

right? And the caravan route that's

20:39

going to be coming by... Where

20:41

should we attack it though? We

20:43

have to stop it from. So

20:45

what we're saying is that we

20:47

should maybe intercept them before they

20:49

get to the city? Is that

20:52

though? It does look like there's

20:54

some kind of info about the

20:56

shipping here, but it's kind of

20:58

coded. So... Can we get a

21:00

code breaker? Yeah, we could work

21:02

on some sort of cold breaking

21:04

sort of thing and see if

21:06

we could figure out how many

21:09

gods maybe they have. I bet

21:11

that tip for that would have

21:13

is how many gods. Yeah, you

21:15

know, you might be right. You

21:17

might be right. I don't want

21:19

any bad blood between us. I

21:21

say we get rid of the

21:23

oriole and I'm really winking. But

21:25

Dick Odi, you know, stays around

21:28

and, you know, who knows? Maybe

21:30

I'll find somebody else to be

21:32

my sidekick to be my sidekick

21:34

in the future. I'm showing up,

21:36

right? He just shows up where

21:38

he wants. Hey, hey everybody, gather

21:40

round, gather round. I'm still mad

21:42

at you. Oh yeah, sorry, pranksgiving,

21:44

you know. I believed you, Ratma.

21:47

It was, we were coming back

21:49

from a very stressful mission. That's

21:51

why I thought it would be

21:53

funny. You let you let you

21:55

let off some steam. I mean

21:57

you got us. You got our

21:59

asses for sure. You interrupted me

22:01

giving Rock this beautiful gift. Work.

22:04

Yes. Look at this beautiful... gift

22:06

I got you. It's an intricately

22:08

carved comb. It's so pretty. She

22:10

sold her hair though. Oh fuck!

22:12

How's everybody doing? I mean, well,

22:14

doing okay. I mean, you did

22:16

just make me think that my

22:18

dad was dead. So that was

22:20

like, I think, exhilarating. That was

22:23

yesterday, I think. Yeah, is today

22:25

Thursday or what's happening? Yeah, no,

22:27

it's Thursday, it's, uh, today's, I

22:29

think it's, uh, Sunday? Okay, gotcha,

22:31

so pranksgiving was yesterday. Yeah, we

22:33

still you really got me good.

22:35

Yeah, sorry about that. You know

22:37

me I can't help it. Yeah,

22:39

well I think now I mean

22:42

we probably should plan for how

22:44

we're gonna well I've got two

22:46

choices for you. Oh, oh hell

22:48

yeah. I mean you can pick

22:50

a third choice. Let's hear your

22:52

choices. If you just want to

22:54

sit here and plan you can

22:56

just sit here and plan. Well

22:58

So this is this kind of

23:01

low-life landlord guy. I mean, he's

23:03

technically a noble. Buck a landlord.

23:05

Um, so kill him. So, well,

23:07

we don't want to kill him,

23:09

but we do want to abduct

23:11

him. Oh, yeah, say no more.

23:13

Okay. This sounds interesting. I'm liking

23:15

this. So you could, so tonight,

23:18

you got two choices. I can

23:20

send you out. You can go

23:22

to this sort of low-life bar

23:24

in the Atlanta district. I believe

23:26

it's the Red Lantern district. Don't

23:28

threaten me with a good time.

23:30

And you can fight this guy

23:32

or his guy, or whatever, you

23:34

can do that. Oh! The other

23:37

option is you can stay here,

23:39

go to the tavern and have

23:41

a quiet night in, but you

23:43

will have to answer. Five questions

23:45

about the missions you've done so

23:47

far. So let's go out. We're

23:49

going to go out. Yeah. Rip

23:51

this town up. I'd rather adopt

23:53

that man that you want us

23:56

to. Yeah, I'd rather go to

23:58

a brothel with my daughter. He

24:00

used to say brothel. She said that

24:02

it was a dive bar. In the Red

24:04

Lantern District. I'd rather find

24:07

a new career with my father. Yeah,

24:09

tell you what, there's a lot

24:11

of grapple points in the Red

24:13

Lantern District. Do you know what

24:15

I'm saying? I do. I

24:17

think. I'm so glad I've

24:19

got my 150 feet of

24:22

silk rope. And just to

24:24

clarify, is this Knuckles the

24:26

Combination Brothel Fight Club?

24:28

No, it's a different

24:30

place. Okay. Is it also

24:33

a combination? It is

24:35

a combination. Okay, what's

24:38

a combination? Brothel KFC.

24:40

It's very funny. No,

24:43

it is a combination

24:45

gambling den and

24:48

blood sport arena.

24:50

Well, I mean there's some data

24:52

that suggests games of chance

24:54

like that and bloodsport arenas

24:57

lead to less overall violence

24:59

You know people get their

25:01

their impulses or the opposite

25:04

Yeah, yeah, are you sure you don't

25:06

want to do the survey? There's

25:08

some good questions like which teammate

25:10

do you think is hiding something

25:13

big? What? Wait, what? Maybe you

25:15

do want to do that one?

25:17

Don't look so weird to

25:19

say. Michael, don't you dare

25:22

reveal my bakery? We've been

25:24

stealing from your bakery.

25:26

Yeah, bitch. Other things like that.

25:28

All right, all right. So yeah,

25:30

well, I'll I'll send you the

25:33

details. You've got a few hours.

25:35

If you want to set up

25:37

your rooms or anything, you know,

25:40

whatever you want to do. You

25:42

guys got the afternoon, but

25:44

we can skip ahead to

25:47

this evening if you would

25:49

like. And now, let's

25:51

take a quick adventuring

25:54

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apply. have a lot of

30:18

items right now. Like, what

30:20

are we carrying with us?

30:22

Because I was just thinking

30:25

about like setting our rooms

30:27

up and I was like,

30:29

Sleen having you like knickknacks

30:31

to put up? Like, any

30:33

do dads? I mean, I

30:35

got my doll. I have

30:37

my doll. I can also,

30:39

I have a bag of

30:41

holding. I can, I made

30:43

one. I get, I have

30:46

one. And so like we

30:48

could put like all of

30:50

our stuff for our rooms

30:52

in there. fancy style rugs,

30:54

but then also have a

30:56

lot of posters of like,

30:58

Dritz, because he's so hot.

31:00

Different sexy heroes. A lot

31:02

of other goth guys, yeah.

31:05

Yeah, lots of goth guys.

31:07

How'd you get this literal

31:09

poster of Dritz? And then

31:11

there's like a super, like,

31:13

fan art style one of

31:15

the jokester. Like, really, like,

31:17

sexy. He's like he's got

31:19

he's got a shirt slash

31:21

down here and he's all

31:23

and he's and he's doing

31:26

the pose His titties and

31:28

his ass are out at

31:30

the same time. Oh my

31:32

god, and his ass is

31:34

caked up. He is he's

31:36

so oh man And he's

31:38

got he's got he's got

31:40

the come gutters Yeah, you

31:42

can see all of it.

31:45

Don't ask how it's just

31:47

it's I don't like you

31:49

guys. I mean she used

31:51

to be a bard Brooke

31:53

had a lot of free

31:55

time that she just drew

31:57

She had an illustrious A03

31:59

account. Yes. Night falls. It's

32:01

late. You're ready to head

32:03

out into the red lantern

32:06

district. So we're trying to

32:08

abduct Dirk Grumbles? It's Dirk.

32:10

Grahambles. I don't have a

32:12

notebook. Oh, why? Well, because

32:14

I just, I ran out

32:16

of paper. You ran out

32:18

of paper? Yes. All right,

32:20

Water World. I love that

32:22

movie. What is specific itself?

32:25

Okay, Water World. All right,

32:27

so I wonder if we're

32:29

going to have to either

32:31

gamble or jump on into

32:33

that MFing, freaking fighting pit.

32:35

Well, I do guess we

32:37

should, you know, try to

32:39

blend in so that we

32:41

can get closer enough to

32:43

this guy snacking. I have

32:46

this magical dice that will

32:48

roll whatever I want. Oh,

32:50

that seems really useful. Yeah,

32:52

do you want to do

32:54

it? I didn't stand like

32:56

this. Is that Chuck or

32:58

Tim talking? Who the fuck

33:00

is Tim? That's a... I'm

33:02

stuck in my character. Can't

33:04

get out. I don't know

33:07

to breathe anymore. That was

33:09

Chuck. Pac-Man does probably have

33:11

a cheating dice because he's

33:13

a bad guy. You don't

33:15

have to have a cheating

33:17

dice, you can just lie.

33:19

Pac-Man. Stop saying that. Nika's

33:21

gonna get yelled at in

33:23

two years if he keeps

33:26

it true. God forbid I

33:28

actually roll like a Nat

33:30

20. Someone will be like,

33:32

you fucking stupid bitch. That's

33:34

your cheater dice. You dumb

33:36

cut. What's ever accused me

33:38

of lying about a role?

33:40

I don't understand why. Which

33:42

is why? It's because you

33:44

have a peener. Silly, do

33:47

you want this dye? Oh

33:49

yeah, I could, I mean,

33:51

I'm really good at lying

33:53

and you're tricking people. You've

33:55

pressed me at the party,

33:57

so. Yeah. Where we saw

33:59

no one interesting. Well, we

34:01

saw some people, didn't me.

34:03

Well, yeah, I'll take this

34:06

dye. Jennifer, it's called. The

34:08

dice of being... Diceet, though!

34:10

Charlen's dice. Charlen's die. Okay.

34:12

And that's your fucking camera.

34:14

Okay. All right, so you

34:16

get to the roll and

34:18

brawl. Brawl. Roll and brawl.

34:20

Roll and brawl. Roll and

34:22

brawl. Roll and brawl. Roll,

34:24

what? Roll and brawl. Yeah,

34:27

roll and brawl. They have

34:29

like bouncers. Welcome

34:31

to Roll and Brawl. We have

34:33

Beef and Brew on sale tonight.

34:35

Well, let's get ourselves some beef

34:37

and bruise then. Yeah, well, we'll

34:40

take whatever you suggest. Walk away.

34:42

There's gambling tables and there's like

34:44

a... people fighting in the background.

34:46

There's it's all smoky and and

34:49

there's a loud band playing which

34:51

seems to be annoying. I hate

34:53

this place. But you've got your

34:55

you've got your description of grambles.

34:57

He's a stocky but beefy little

35:00

guy. He's got big muscles even

35:02

though he's not huge otherwise and

35:04

He's got a receding hairline and

35:06

he's got kind of nice clothes,

35:09

but But they're a little they're

35:11

not tasteful. They're a little garish.

35:13

Okay, oh garish not the other

35:15

keyboard and this is the man

35:18

we're here to kid Okay, this

35:20

is the man you're gonna get

35:22

up. He look he is the

35:24

saloon would think he is the

35:26

stink of new money upon him

35:29

Oh Yeah, I bet he's got

35:31

a ring on every finger. Oh

35:33

my god. Two on each pinky.

35:35

He's like a muscular Joe Pachey

35:38

Yeah. He's one of the gambling

35:40

tables. He's got, there's two guys

35:42

standing nearby who are clearly guarding

35:44

his like bodyguards. Yeah. I feel

35:46

like we obviously shouldn't like go

35:49

up to him immediately. I think

35:51

we should like be somewhere else

35:53

and like watch for a little

35:55

bit. Yeah. Are other people eating

35:58

beef? Yeah. Where are people eating

36:00

beef? There are some people eating

36:02

beef. Some people drinking brew. And

36:04

some are watching the fight and

36:07

some are gambling. Is there like

36:09

a bar, like a bar area?

36:11

There is, there's a bar area,

36:13

there's, again, there's a shitty band

36:15

playing really loud. They probably sound

36:18

like scosh. Yeah. Stop it! I

36:20

was just going to ask, what's

36:22

the literal song I was playing?

36:24

What's the chord? Is it minor

36:27

chord? I don't know what's inside

36:29

my head anymore. It's actually, it's

36:31

polka music. It's not ska. I'm

36:33

actually back in because I make

36:36

a little more beer gardeny. I

36:38

can see that, a little beer

36:40

gardeny. I say let's go up

36:42

to the bar. The one other

36:44

feature that I need to mention

36:47

is there's also. a like standing

36:49

stockstill war forged guy just standing

36:51

in the middle of the place

36:53

and he just standing there motionless

36:56

you're like is is it a

36:58

statue is even on I don't

37:00

know what's the deal this feels

37:02

like the first time we've seen

37:05

one of these guys and inside

37:07

a building right yeah they usually

37:09

have been outside patrolling but not

37:11

it's true x nay on the

37:13

magic casting a, okay, I have

37:16

to just have to rely on

37:18

my own wiles as a human

37:20

being. We're fucked, kidding, I'm kidding.

37:22

Reliant are wiles in that die.

37:25

Yes, okay, I actually have a

37:27

question about this die and how

37:29

it works, because it says when

37:31

you... role you can control it.

37:33

Could I like control it if

37:36

somebody else rolls it? Good question.

37:38

Because I feel like that could

37:40

be very useful in a gambling

37:42

situation to make somebody else have

37:45

a dice in control of that.

37:47

I mean it's a very short

37:49

text. Yeah it doesn't really say

37:51

a lot. Whenever you roll the

37:54

six-sided die you can control which

37:56

number it rolls. Okay it's probably

37:58

just me then. All right. Yeah.

38:00

Fair enough. So, you know, I'm

38:02

happy to play the role, you

38:05

know, get in there and talk

38:07

to people, whatever, to get the

38:09

info, distract. Just one problem. I

38:11

don't know how to play any

38:14

of these games at all. Okay.

38:16

No, we didn't do, like, that

38:18

wasn't, like, a thing. Not rat,

38:20

rat foot? No. No. If I

38:23

feel like Chuck and Rourke know

38:25

their way around and whenever we

38:27

go to ask for the beers

38:29

and beef, Bruce and beef and

38:31

we don't get it, I feel

38:34

like Rourke would like, like just

38:36

kind of go and act like

38:38

she knows what she's doing and

38:40

get us the beers and beef.

38:43

Yeah. You're used to be behind

38:45

the counter. Yeah, Chuck was a

38:47

soldier, so he knows. Hello card

38:49

games. I think a truck should

38:52

come with me and like hang

38:54

behind me and whisper what to

38:56

do in my air as a

38:58

table. Yeah. But I'll play it,

39:00

I'll play it out too, Chuck.

39:03

I'll be like, oh, I don't

39:05

know, like I, this is such

39:07

a fun new thing. And I'll

39:09

use that to, you know, do

39:12

my tricks. All right, well, let's

39:14

enjoy the beef and brew and

39:16

kind of. See what the vibe

39:18

is for at least a handful

39:20

of moments. What if we take

39:23

our beefs and bruise over to

39:25

watch the fights? Okay. And see

39:27

what's going on under that side

39:29

if there's any interesting people. Can

39:32

we walk by the robot? the

39:34

war force as we do it?

39:36

Or do we want to do

39:38

it? Maybe we don't want to

39:41

go near it. Because my mind

39:43

is like it's watching, it's watching

39:45

all of us and like recording.

39:47

Can we, if we go near

39:49

it, can I knock on it?

39:52

Yes. Is that rude? I don't

39:54

know if that's not rude. I'm

39:56

gonna do it. It would be

39:58

considered rude. Now I'm an artifice

40:01

or I'm very into tech her

40:03

with the... The big guy. We're

40:05

gonna get murdered. You get within

40:07

two feet and he turns towards

40:10

you and he says, produce your

40:12

identification citizen. Christ. Oh, just back

40:14

up. Real slow. Produce, your identification

40:16

citizen. Does he follow me or

40:18

does he stay where he is?

40:21

No, he's, he's turning towards you.

40:23

But he doesn't move. No, he

40:25

steps toward you. Like a robocop.

40:27

Okay I could just I want

40:30

to just keep backing up. Stop

40:32

moving or you will be under

40:34

arrest. Mark show the papers Ratma

40:36

gave you. Okay I show the

40:39

papers that Ratma gave me. Yeah

40:41

that's what I thought. I snatch

40:43

them back real fast. I think

40:45

we should try to stay under

40:47

the radar that guy but it's

40:50

good the fighting but here's the

40:52

thing now he's not gonna fuck

40:54

with us because he knows we're

40:56

legit we can do whatever the

40:59

fuck we want that's not true

41:01

I might but also he wasn't

41:03

fucking with anybody yeah I think

41:05

we just need to stay away

41:07

from him actually I kind of

41:10

wanted to get a closer look

41:12

but I think we should try

41:14

to stay under the radar that

41:16

guy but and it is good

41:19

to know that we can't get

41:21

that we can't get that close

41:23

so thank you for that we

41:25

can't Initiating radar. Shut the fuck

41:28

up. Let's go over there, run.

41:30

Lowering radar height. We didn't want

41:32

to give Michael time to fuck

41:34

us over with that. We already

41:36

got it. Yeah, or I go

41:39

do it now. Whatever. We've got

41:41

the beefs and brews. She was

41:43

on her way for the beefs

41:45

and brews and she got arrested.

41:48

Oh. No, I thought we were

41:50

all going together. I thought we'd

41:52

like, we yes and the beef

41:54

and brews. We did. We didn't

41:57

want to give Michael time to

41:59

fuck us over with that. We

42:01

already had the beefs and brews.

42:03

We were walking towards the fight.

42:05

We were walking towards the fight

42:08

zone. We were walking towards the

42:10

fight zone. We were walking towards

42:12

the fight zone. We were walking

42:14

towards the fight zone. We were

42:17

walking towards the fight zone. We

42:19

were walking towards the fight zone.

42:21

We were walking towards the fight

42:23

zone. We were walking towards the

42:26

fight zone. I've had a new

42:28

beautiful character. Yeah, why you want

42:30

it? That's true. Where do these

42:32

beasts and proofs come from? Now

42:34

the audience doesn't know. There's someone

42:37

behind the counter, wiping it down.

42:39

Who is it? Martin Short. It's

42:41

Martin Short. It's Martin Short. Hello,

42:43

I'm Martin Short. This is my

42:46

Martin short. That's not bad. That's

42:48

pretty good. Hi, Martin short. I

42:50

would love four beef and bruise,

42:52

please. Five beef and bruise, please.

42:54

Okay. Five? He delivers your beef

42:57

and brew and then he disappears.

42:59

And I'm gone. Bye. What the

43:01

fuck? That guy's amazing. I'm off

43:03

to see my friend Steve Martin.

43:06

Oh, there's no murders in this

43:08

building. I got five because I

43:10

assume the oriole is with us

43:12

somewhere. He uses beef and brew.

43:15

I keep telling you if you

43:17

keep feeding him, he's going to

43:19

keep showing up. Listen, he's real

43:21

cool. Have you ever met him?

43:23

Yes. Yeah, he is so cool.

43:26

Thank you for saying that. He's

43:28

not. Sometimes I feel like you

43:30

all don't you all don't like

43:32

him or something. I'm gonna kill

43:35

him. It's less about like and

43:37

dislike and more about being scared.

43:39

Yeah, you know, I have to

43:41

be scared of him. He's just

43:44

a child. No, that's why we're

43:46

scared of him. Yes, why we're

43:48

scared. I don't know any child

43:50

who can do that. I've never

43:52

seen a child so and I

43:55

heard the said I thought you

43:57

were gonna say cool but you

43:59

didn't I feel like you're not

44:01

even listening and whenever we say

44:04

the oriole scary you just hear

44:06

the oriole's like he doesn't even

44:08

get us man it just gets

44:10

automated to translate it all right

44:13

well if the oriole's here don't

44:15

feed them because then they'll keep

44:17

coming back but let's just take

44:19

these Martin short themed beefs and

44:21

bruise and sit over there. I

44:24

would like to eat the beef

44:26

out of the Orioles beef and

44:28

bruise and then I want to

44:30

take the fat off of my

44:33

beef and the fat off of

44:35

his beef and the fat that

44:37

everyone else doesn't eat off of

44:39

their beef and mix it together

44:41

with some random seeds that I

44:44

have him and make a little

44:46

sick cake for him. Okay. That's

44:48

for him. And I take out

44:50

of my pack an orange and

44:53

I slice it in half and

44:55

I put some grape jelly on

44:57

it? I don't get that one

44:59

at all. Orange and grape jelly?

45:02

This is interesting. That's what Oreo,

45:04

that's what you feed, oils. You

45:06

guys should have oils around in

45:08

your area. You can put out

45:10

orange slices, yeah. You can cut

45:13

an orange or... That feels like

45:15

it's something that might be real,

45:17

but I still want to fist

45:19

fight you. I also was the

45:22

person who brought up baked potato

45:24

nails and they are a real

45:26

thing. Yep, no, we should know

45:28

by now to doubt you ever.

45:31

Oh yes, yeah. If it's some

45:33

weird, like, hick shit that is

45:35

about something, it will be, yeah.

45:37

No, you're very smart and not

45:39

just in hick shit all around,

45:42

but sometimes you trick us. I'm

45:44

also a big dumb bitch. That's

45:46

the best way to be in

45:48

my opinion. Like I'm smart but

45:51

I'm also a big dumb bit

45:53

okay? I have three college degrees

45:55

but I'm a dumb bitch. What

45:57

type of beef is it buddy?

46:00

What type of beef is it?

46:02

So it's like a, it's a

46:04

skewer and there's pieces of beef

46:06

on the skewer. I like that.

46:08

That sounds great. This beef is

46:10

pretty good. I snuck a bite.

46:12

What's the fighting situation? Get your

46:14

hand out of my bolt. Who

46:16

are you talking to? Roar, she's

46:18

grabbing all the fat out. That's

46:20

the good stuff. I literally was

46:22

just gonna say, I'm in their

46:24

finger in his beef. Get the

46:27

back! Don't finger daddy's be! I

46:29

mean, be like, I'm gonna gnaw

46:31

on the fat! It's good! So

46:33

the fight is, the two dudes

46:35

have their, each of their left

46:37

wrists tied together? What? A strap

46:39

match, kind of. Yeah, it kind

46:41

of is. And then they're just

46:43

punching each other with the right

46:45

fist. Wow. Oh, that's pretty sick.

46:47

They can't get away. Oh, this

46:49

is. This is intense. This is

46:51

intense. I didn't know these were

46:53

here. I would have been going

46:55

here more often. I think this

46:57

is actually in a tavern. What?

46:59

You guys were saying this is

47:01

intense. Oh, I see. All right,

47:03

yeah, so David, if you go

47:05

back and edit out where I

47:07

am confidenting naked, I don't want

47:09

that in there anymore. No, I'm

47:11

on her side now. That's good.

47:13

And the one guy goes down

47:15

and the other guy just beating

47:17

them. Look at Jesus Adam! Oh

47:19

my God! Oh shit, he's gonna

47:21

kill him! Does he kill him?

47:23

Stop, kill him! I yell over

47:25

my beef. rip his head off

47:28

and there's like he's like punching

47:30

and there's like spurts of blood

47:32

coming out and like teeth and

47:34

stuff. No! Are there people like

47:36

you know they're betting on stuff

47:38

I as soon as I just

47:40

like picture the guys being like

47:42

yeah they're all like screaming and

47:44

like cave his head in and

47:46

you know all sorts of stuff.

47:48

Do they kick a kneecap out

47:50

just like in the real movie

47:52

Blood Sport? Do they? I mean

47:54

I imagine more of just he

47:56

was punching him when he was

47:58

on the ground but... I'm really

48:00

glad that you said no to...

48:02

Yeah, I know it was really

48:04

specific, but you mentioned blood's I

48:06

don't I don't like knee stuff

48:08

I know I don't either but

48:10

you mentioned bloodsport earlier and then

48:12

I got really nervous because if

48:14

you say bloodsport I think of

48:16

like the 1980s 1990s martial arts

48:18

movie Oh, but then like the

48:20

guy who's he's like basically incongest

48:22

and the guy rolls him over

48:24

and then just breaks his knee

48:26

for some of his. Oh, oh

48:29

my god. Oh, sure. It's really

48:31

terrible. Stop. That's how they know

48:33

that. That's how the fight ends.

48:35

The fight only ends when somebody's

48:37

me gets blown out. Uh, kind

48:39

of want to get in there.

48:41

Yeah, man. Get in there. You

48:43

should get in there. Take my

48:45

shirt off. Yeah. Take your fucking.

48:47

Oh, wow. You look, your, your

48:49

nipples look hard today. Yeah. What

48:51

does, wait, what screeches, CRISMA? He's

48:53

got a plus two. Okay. He's

48:55

comparable to. She would

48:57

look at him, but like respectfully.

48:59

Does screech have chest hair? No.

49:01

Yeah, what's your, what's your hair

49:03

level? Screech is smooth. No! Okay,

49:05

that's okay. I thought he was

49:07

smooth, but I needed to ask.

49:09

Yeah. It didn't make sense to

49:12

me. Like a slippery fish. Burke

49:14

looks more than she should, but

49:16

she makes it less obvious. Yeah,

49:18

well you can't look directly at

49:20

it because of the glint. That's

49:22

so true. Right, it's too, it's

49:24

too bright. So true. Oh, yeah,

49:26

Screech, you're looking good, bud. You

49:28

should get in there and make

49:30

some, make some coin. I mean,

49:32

get some info. I don't think

49:34

you should go in there, this

49:36

seems very dangerous. But he's so

49:38

strong. Screech, I don't think you

49:40

want this, like, like, well, you

49:42

don't think I can handle it,

49:44

I can handle it, I can

49:46

handle it, but, like I can

49:48

handle it, it, it, it, it,

49:50

it's too. Yeah, they're just blasting

49:52

each other. Come and blasting. You're

49:54

just full on blasting. It's not

49:56

safe. It's not safe. Scrooge, you're

49:58

like the best fighter. I've never

50:00

seen. Where are you trying to

50:02

get him to go in there?

50:04

We have one. Guys, guys. Guys,

50:06

let's, can we bring it in?

50:08

I wouldn't be able to use

50:10

two weapon fighting. I think he

50:12

should go in there. Okay, wait,

50:14

wait, wait, wait, wait, what if

50:16

we send him in there? But

50:19

what if we send him in

50:21

there, and like, we give him

50:23

like, say he needs like his

50:25

mantra, he needs time to to

50:27

meditate beforehand he needs to get

50:29

in. I was

50:31

kind of stealth. Well, well, no,

50:33

okay. No, you can't stealth. He's

50:35

slowly touching you. And remember, uh,

50:37

you can't do that. I don't

50:39

think that's gonna work, but you

50:41

just surprised me before. Well, remember,

50:43

that's, you can't do that. I

50:45

don't think that's gonna work, but

50:47

you know, you, you just surprised

50:50

me before. Well, remember that, that

50:52

meal I made you guys, like,

50:54

yelling at you. So everybody needs

50:56

to roll 2D10 and add that

50:58

to your hit point maximum. And

51:00

you know, maybe this will help

51:02

you with wisdom saving throws. Hell

51:04

yeah, I got 17 hit points.

51:06

I got 13. Thanks, Papa. You're

51:08

welcome. I got 18. It's not

51:10

temp. It's real. I think I

51:13

have a thing where I can

51:15

also add to your max hit

51:17

points. Okay. I think it was

51:19

only like 5 or something, but

51:21

that would still give us extra.

51:23

And it's for like eight hours.

51:25

Okay, where do I miss? Let's

51:27

just fucking go, be crazy. Yeah.

51:29

We knew we were going to

51:31

a fight gamble pit, so. Well,

51:33

okay, but, um, let's remember that

51:36

our goal, we have mission. Yeah.

51:38

And it doesn't involve being the

51:40

fighting pit. Yeah, but I think,

51:42

I think this guy, look at

51:44

him, he's peacock and he wants,

51:46

I bet if Screech does good,

51:48

this guy will probably try to

51:50

like, like, I don't know. flirt

51:52

with him or something. You're blinded

51:54

by blood loss right now. I

51:56

am not. Not at all. You

51:59

seem like really into it. You

52:01

were saying like kill him and

52:03

knock his head off. That's what

52:05

I thought it was fake. And

52:07

then that is his tooth. That

52:09

is his tooth and that is

52:11

gross. Yeah, like that's what you

52:13

want screech to go on there?

52:15

Get his tooth? Oh yeah, screech

52:17

is really strong. He can do

52:19

it. What? Now why are we

52:22

doing this? Can I, could I

52:24

have used, it's an eight hour

52:26

spell, so I feel like that's

52:28

the thing I could easily have

52:30

done in the morning or whatever.

52:32

And we could have it, and

52:34

it would be three creatures within

52:36

range, so the three of you

52:38

guys would have maximum hit point

52:40

and current hit points increased by

52:43

five. Oh wait, wait, wait, wait,

52:45

wait, wait. I could use it

52:47

at three hit points, so it

52:49

could be 10 if I used

52:51

it at level three. Yeah, I

52:53

think I extra hit points are

52:55

great. You tell me I love

52:57

them. I love them. I love

52:59

them. You can do too to

53:01

save some other stuff for if

53:03

you need to do other things?

53:06

I don't know. Okay, yeah, I'll

53:08

just I'll do it at level

53:10

two and then everyone can have

53:12

five. All right, and that's like

53:14

real hit points, right? Yeah, it's

53:16

like it's just like yours. It's

53:18

like it's just straight five. Hell

53:20

yeah, I'm about to get reckless.

53:22

I have an idea too. Okay.

53:24

Because when, you know, I can

53:26

embolden bond us, and as they're

53:29

punching you, I can get some

53:31

of that meat punch. Thus, make

53:33

you feel a little bit stronger,

53:35

baby. I mean, that works to

53:37

me. I have to go to

53:39

a bathroom all together again. Well,

53:41

first try to figure out when

53:43

you have to fight. Is

53:46

there like a booker, like a

53:48

scheduler? Yeah, we gotta go talk

53:51

to the guy. I heard you

53:53

want to, you guys thinking about

53:55

fighting? I think just me. Yes

53:57

for me, Selena Gomez. Yeah, yeah.

54:00

Hey, we can put you up

54:02

next. You, uh, you, you ready

54:04

to go, buddy? Not next. I

54:06

have to go take a huge

54:08

shit with my three best buds.

54:11

Wow, we gotta still wipe up

54:13

the blood and stuff, so you

54:15

got like four minutes. Oh, purpose,

54:17

plenty of time. He's gonna, he's

54:20

gonna need more time to that.

54:22

He usually takes a while. So

54:24

maybe like one after that. We

54:26

could do it for a bit.

54:28

Yeah. You're just, I mean, I

54:31

guess if you can't, I guess

54:33

if you can't, I can't, I

54:35

can't, I can't, I can't, I

54:37

can't, I can't, I guess, I

54:40

can't, I can't, I can't, I

54:42

can't, I can't, I can't, I

54:44

can't, I can't, I guess, I

54:46

can't, I can't, I can't, I

54:48

can't, I can't, I can't, I

54:51

can't, I can't, I can't, I

54:53

can't Crazed right now. It's not

54:55

even enough time to plan my

54:57

phone. Salina's really concerned about Screech's

55:00

rectal health. She doesn't want him

55:02

to pop any hemorrhoids. I just

55:04

worry about all his entire body's

55:06

health. Okay, I see what he's

55:08

not actually pooping. Yeah, Screech, if

55:11

you want to fight next, that's

55:13

fine. I don't know what we're

55:15

doing here. Why are you being

55:17

so weird about this? Can you

55:20

cast a spell on me while

55:22

I'm pooping? Do I have to

55:24

be standing? I think I have

55:26

to see you. He's gonna be

55:28

fighting. He's got to like get

55:31

unload, like if he's gonna be

55:33

up there. I thought you did

55:35

stand when you pooped. Okay, I

55:37

don't have to see you when

55:40

you poop. Michael, is there a

55:42

glory hole kind of situation that

55:44

we can peek in and not

55:46

have to see him poop? If

55:48

there's a glory hole, my dick

55:51

is coming through it. I'm sorry.

55:53

I've never seen a glory hole

55:55

in real life. There's no glory

55:57

hole, but the material is such

56:00

that you could just stick a

56:02

dagger through and easily make a

56:04

glory hole. All right. I don't

56:06

like that. It's not real. That's

56:08

real. I stole a valor. I

56:11

don't need to see him. So

56:13

you don't need to make a

56:15

glory hole. That's where you're... Yeah,

56:17

we... Yeah, we... A glory, a

56:20

glory, a spell glory hole. We

56:22

should probably still make a glory

56:24

hole, just in case. So yeah,

56:26

you get a D4. for the

56:28

next 10 minutes. For what? Just

56:31

anything. For the glory hole. Okay,

56:33

cool. I like it. And then

56:35

whoever I'm bonded to, we can

56:37

like share pain and shit. Whoa.

56:40

Tell you what? You come hit

56:42

this glory hole. We'll be pretty

56:44

bonded. Can I haste him? Oh

56:46

my gosh. Sure. Will that be

56:48

too much. But only lasts like

56:51

a minute, right? Yeah. less a

56:53

minute and then they like fall

56:55

asleep I think we hilarious if

56:57

we did it okay how long

57:00

how long are they gonna fucking

57:02

fight that's ten rounds I feel

57:04

like I could get it done

57:06

in a minute I can poop

57:08

in less than four I could

57:11

definitely fight less than one I'm

57:13

just nervous that it might not

57:15

be like a traditional combat situation

57:17

right like around it's I don't

57:20

know I don't know I don't

57:22

know my initiative is so high

57:24

well this is happening. I would

57:26

like to, Selena's keeping an eye

57:28

on our target, dirt grambles over

57:31

the gambling table. Is he still

57:33

over there? Michael? Okay, good. All

57:35

right. You too also get the

57:37

D4, by the way. Guides only

57:40

last for a minute, so, you

57:42

know, whatever. Okay, I won't do

57:44

that. I won't, that is all

57:46

I will do. Are you hasting

57:48

or no? I don't think so.

57:51

Because, okay, hold up, because it

57:53

is... I think you'll be too

57:55

fast. Well, you'd have to cast

57:57

it and then, like, run out

58:00

and then the fight would have

58:02

to start immediately. Oh, yeah, dude.

58:04

If you're like, go, go, go,

58:06

go, go, go, go, go, go,

58:08

go, go, go, go, go, go,

58:11

go, go, go, go, go, go.

58:13

If you're not casting guidance, I

58:15

will give us 10 hit points.

58:17

to do the, is it aid?

58:19

Yeah, so what did you give

58:22

us before? Five, so five more?

58:24

It was five, so all I

58:26

will do by, yeah, 10. We

58:28

never get to. I literally hated

58:31

you last time bitch like literally

58:33

every time I'm with you and

58:35

I get a chance I hate

58:37

your ass. Stop fighting. Yeah, but

58:39

I feel like it never like

58:42

really like we know all like

58:44

our moments never quite right. Hmm.

58:46

I hate that my fist is

58:48

blurred out. Tim and I Shuck

58:51

and Slee had the same amount

58:53

of hit points right now. How

58:55

many do you guys have? 96?

58:57

96? I only have 87. Damn,

58:59

I got 91! So he's like,

59:02

hit me! How do you have

59:04

so many? Okay, wow, let's put-

59:06

I have a high con. Let's

59:08

put the magic, the straight up

59:11

magic folk up front. Y'all are

59:13

the, the tanks right now. Yeah,

59:15

con is my second highest step.

59:17

Yeah, I have a much, I

59:19

think I have a much higher

59:22

AC than screech, I think. What's

59:24

your AC? Twenty. Twenty. My AC

59:26

is bad, though. My AC is

59:28

only 15. Anyways, okay, they they

59:31

bring you into the ring and

59:33

And are you are you going

59:35

in as screech echo or yeah,

59:37

you got you out of it.

59:39

You need a name you need

59:42

like a name. Are you going

59:44

in as your bird costume? Oh,

59:46

can I have a lucidore mask?

59:48

Oh, I always carry one of

59:51

those on me. Yeah, screech mysterious

59:53

mysterious Yes, yes. Okay. L-L-E-H-H-L-E-H-L-E-H-L-E-H-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-D-L-E-L-D-L-E-L-D-L-E-L-D-L-E-D-L-D-L-E-D-L-L-D-L-L-L-D-L-L-L-L-L-D-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L- They're

59:55

not all strap matches some of

59:57

them. They have to suck each

59:59

other off You never know when

1:00:02

it's gonna be a sucking match.

1:00:04

You have to They'll call us

1:00:06

69 if there's two dicks? Yeah.

1:00:08

Yeah, absolutely. More so, I'd say.

1:00:11

It's a 69, it's more of

1:00:13

the position than the- Okay, so

1:00:15

you have to 69 each other,

1:00:17

folks. So there's a huge hairy

1:00:19

guy. He's just got, he doesn't

1:00:22

have, you know, he's all topless

1:00:24

and whatnot. He's like the opposite

1:00:26

of screech. Oh, we're both topless.

1:00:28

He's very furry. He's kind of

1:00:31

like. Sweety and dripping though, you

1:00:33

know, and he's big. It's all

1:00:35

the beef. Beefy got, yeah, he

1:00:37

looks like he's been drenched in

1:00:39

beef and brew. Should be rubbed,

1:00:42

screeched down in the the oral

1:00:44

beef fat? So he's harder to

1:00:46

grapple? Yeah, that's not a bad

1:00:48

idea. That's a great idea. He's

1:00:51

like, no, that's my oral beef

1:00:53

fat. Don't make choice for my

1:00:55

character, it's not nice. So you're

1:00:57

just, you're just sitting in your

1:00:59

corner and then looping you up.

1:01:02

Okay, what if Michael, I keep

1:01:04

a stash, this is notorious five

1:01:06

years long, that I have sausage

1:01:08

rolls on me, a cold sausage

1:01:11

roll, the fat will congeal, and

1:01:13

I would like to scrape all

1:01:15

of the conjure fat off of

1:01:17

the sausage rolls and then use

1:01:19

it to rub over Screech's body.

1:01:22

Yeah, to race through the glory

1:01:24

hole to do it, though. I

1:01:26

do that eagerly, greely. All right,

1:01:28

so Screech is, he's all greased

1:01:31

up. I'm a sloppy boy. Is

1:01:33

a big sloppy, why is my

1:01:35

skin burnt? He's a gooey boy.

1:01:37

Trying to decide what this guy's

1:01:39

name is going to be. I

1:01:42

want to go down a water

1:01:44

slide now. I feel so smooth.

1:01:46

It's a little too fast. We'll

1:01:48

never find you. Yeah, so he's

1:01:51

a big hairy guy. And they

1:01:53

tie your wrist together. And he

1:01:55

goes, I'm gonna fucking kill you.

1:01:57

Shut the fuck up. Shut the

1:01:59

fuck up! Bitch! Shut the fuck

1:02:02

up! Yeah! Shut the fuck up!

1:02:04

And he smells, he smells bad

1:02:06

and you're all tied to him

1:02:08

so you can't get away from

1:02:11

him. and stink. Yeah, he

1:02:13

definitely doesn't smell like five-year-old

1:02:15

murder sausage grease. Screech just

1:02:17

got mad COVID, so I

1:02:19

can't smell. Oh, yeah, yeah.

1:02:21

We don't talk about a

1:02:23

lot, but he always has

1:02:25

COVID. And you hear, clang,

1:02:27

clang, as the bell rings

1:02:29

to start the fight, yeah? And

1:02:31

then we'll end our episode. That

1:02:33

was too scary. I hope you...

1:02:36

What are you gonna do? I

1:02:38

don't know. I'm gonna fucking end

1:02:40

this dude. You're not gonna be

1:02:42

able to dodge He's not gonna

1:02:45

be all the dodge Michael

1:02:47

you're you were I love

1:02:49

that you you gave us

1:02:51

a little like wrestling-esque situation

1:02:53

to get rowdy over here

1:02:55

Mm-hmm. Thank you for that.

1:02:58

Just a taste another thing

1:03:00

that we get rowdy for over

1:03:02

here is die heart dice Thank

1:03:04

you for going to twitch. TV slash

1:03:06

geeky ink every single Tuesday unless it's

1:03:08

a Thursday sometimes. We give away die-hard

1:03:11

dice live! So you can join in-

1:03:13

I hope I win this week. Huh?

1:03:15

I hope I win this week. It

1:03:18

doesn't matter if you do. You won't.

1:03:20

You won't win. Yeah, Nika won

1:03:22

last week and I rescinded it

1:03:24

like a mean, mean man. I literally, I've

1:03:26

won twice and I don't win

1:03:28

anything and I still haven't. I

1:03:31

still haven't. I'm never apologizing. Deal

1:03:33

with it. Every single week we

1:03:35

give away some beautiful Die Hard

1:03:38

Dice dice. Go to Die Hard

1:03:40

dice.com. Enter the offer code. Dragons

1:03:43

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1:03:45

end to get 15% off your

1:03:47

order. It's a special treat just

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for you, the listener. We get

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a kissy on the back end.

1:03:54

Hashtagad. All right. Few more

1:03:56

seconds to enter. Close. Draw.

1:03:59

Congratulations. to Jack Quixote. Help

1:04:01

me. What was I supposed to

1:04:03

say? Jack Quixote. Jack Quixote. Oh,

1:04:05

yeah. You have won the diehard

1:04:07

dice. I haven't really won Jack

1:04:09

Quixote. I thought I was going

1:04:11

to win. No, you didn't. You

1:04:13

were so close, Michael. I could

1:04:15

have won. Jack Quixote, you win.

1:04:17

Don't say you never win anything.

1:04:19

You're very special. Everyone loves you.

1:04:21

Ah, shit. They have their whispers

1:04:23

blocked. Sorry, Jack Quixote. You are.

1:04:25

They are here, though, which is

1:04:27

good. Just put in the chat

1:04:29

and everyone will promise not to

1:04:31

take it. Yeah. Be honorable. Be

1:04:33

honorable. Thank you, everybody, for joining

1:04:35

us. If you want to get

1:04:37

in touch with us, we are

1:04:39

on Blue Sky at D &D Podcast,

1:04:41

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1:04:43

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1:04:48

Chic. I am at Nika Howard.

1:04:50

I'm at Mike Bachman. Didn't get

1:04:52

your fill of action and adventure

1:04:54

in this episode of Queens Adventures.

1:04:56

Well, that's unfortunate because this was

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1:05:00

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1:05:42

you, everybody. Until next week, keep

1:05:44

it dicey. Beee

1:07:47

Beeeeeeee

1:07:49

Beeeeeeeeee Beee

1:07:52

you talking about? No!

1:07:54

Alright, All right. I don't

1:07:56

know what I'm doing, I'm

1:08:02

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Here's the show that we

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recommend. Welcome

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back to Two Judgey Girls, I'm Mary from

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the Bay. And I'm Courtney from LA.

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TJG is the podcast where we

1:10:08

spill all the tea on your

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favorite reality TV shows, celebrity gossip,

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and everything in between. We're here

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to bring you our unfiltered opinions,

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hilarious commentary, and plenty of laughs

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along the way. We're two SDSU Delta Gamma

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sisters with a microphone and a

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whole lot of opinions. Each week

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we dive headfirst into the wild

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world of reality television from Bravo

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to all the trash TV you

1:10:31

could want. We break down the

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drama, dissect the latest scandals, and

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share our thoughts on everything from

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the jaw dropping moments to the

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embarrassing antics. But that's not all.

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We're not here to just

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gossip. We're here to connect

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with you, the jurors, and

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share our love of all

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things pop culture. Whether we're

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dishing on the latest celebrity

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breakups, discussing our favorite guilty

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pleasure movies, or sharing embarrassing

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stories from our own lives,

1:11:03

we promise to keep it real,

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keep it fun, and keep you

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coming back for more. Come, Judge,

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with us.

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